#no friends no bitches no job no strong familial relationships no motivation no money no nothing

[sapphicmsmarvel]

JJ: Dear Sister

TW: drug abuse, mentions of depression and anxiety and mentions of sexual assault. Under the cut. 

im really proud of this one, I actually created a story! like with a plot and motive, I really like it! 

Being in the BAU and being away from your family was both a blessing and a curse, you were away from your mom and dad, your hometown and hometown friends. But the plus was, you were away from your sister. 

Your half-sister was a full on piece of shit, now she wasn’t a piece of shit because she’s an addict (which is what most people assume when you say you don’t like your sister because then they find out she’s an addict and are like “well she needs your support”). Being an addict does not make her a shitty person because you know it’s a mental illness and these people need help.

Your sister is just a piece of shit, because her personality sucks. Not because of the drugs. 

(a little author's note because I have Anxiety, addicts deserve all the help they can get and should never be put down for their mental illness. This sister just sucks, she is not a bad human being because of her being addicted to drugs. Okay continue)

You sister, Molly, used your father for his money to the point where even you had to intervene. She abandoned her kids to run off with some guy then had your dad come get her out of trouble, she has been arrested multiple times. She never takes responsibility for her actions and blames everyone else.

Part of recovery is taking responsibility and righting your wrongs. She on the other hand makes the wrongs worse by acting like a child when she is 30 years old.  

So to escape her nagging and just the horrible mental space you get in whenever she’s around, you moved out to D.C. You went to the FBI academy, went back home to celebrate (which she didn’t come to when she was invited) and then you went back to work at Quantico. 

All your anxieties about her left pretty soon after starting at your job. You knew she wouldn’t call you for help anymore considering you worked for the FBI, also met some amazing people.

Including your wonderful, beautiful girlfriend, JJ. 

JJ had just gotten divorced when she met you, she was apprehensive at the thought of dating someone so soon, especially a girl, she’s always been bi but never dated a girl. But she woman’d up and asked you out. 

Years flew by of you two dating, the kids loved you so much, JJ was shocked at how good you were with kids when to her knowledge, you were an only child. But, you felt guilt curdle in your gut for not telling her. So one night when the boys were finally in bed, you told her everything. From being the youngest, to dealing with your sister's addiction, your assault, your depression and anxiety, you told her the complete story. Every. Single. Chapter. 

She had barely seen you cry, but she saw you bawl at this. She held you and calmed you down, you explained your fear of being judged for Molly’s actions because people might think you are the same to her just because you are half-sisters. You apologized for keeping it from her for years into your relationship.

“Yes, I wish you would have told me but not because I ‘deserve’ to know everything about your past. Because you were suffering in silence, part of being girlfriends is talking about things and getting support from each other. I love you, Y/N. That’ll never change.” She explained. “Also I want to meet your family, I want to meet the strong daughters of hers and be a part of their lives just like you are a part of Henry and Michaels.” 

The next week you two scheduled a visit out there with the kids, you flew back to your home state, legs bouncing anxiously the entire time, she held your hand the whole way. 

The visit went really well, your nieces were obviously protective of you because you were their mother figure while Molly was in rehab and countless relapses. You took care of them and they were very protective over their aunt. 

But, they loved JJ and the boys, as did your entire family. 

When you two went back to work, Morgan speculated that you eloped because of how glowy and light you two seemed. JJ explained that the two of you were just happy and got a mental break to yourselves. 

Your nieces flew out to visit the next year, then JJ proposed the next week. Life was going great, until you got a call from one of Molly’s friends, “what’s wrong?” You answered, JJ looking up from the dining room table worriedly. 

“Molly is with the FBI,” she whispered as if the FBI was listening. 

Your stomach sank, “what do you mean?” 

“..I shouldn’t be telling you.” “You called me Katy!” You yelled, your father's anger coming out. “What did she do that got the FBI involved?” Your phone buzzed again which meant you were getting another call, unfortunately this one was more important. You looked to see JJ on the phone. 

Your thoughts went to the worse, Molly is at Quantico. But JJ was probably just talking to her mom. Her mom called a lot, yeah, that had to be it. 

“She was running a drug scheme and got busted as well as several felonies.” 

“Shit.” You sighed, “do you know where the bureau she’s located at is?” 

“Some place called Quantico.” 

No. No. No. No. 

---------------------------------------------------------

The drive to Quantico was awful and anxiety ridden, JJ held your hand as she drove, the boys were at Will’s. You were calling your dad, telling him not to tell the girls until you know more  because they lived with him. JJ explained that the phone call was Hotch saying the interrogation with your sister was happening and they wanted two of their best agents there. The buzzing during the phone call was Rossi. They didn’t know it was your sister, your last name was common, you’ve run into plenty of people in your line of work with your last name. 

But you were told that you two looked similar, and they’re all smart but you know Reid will put it together before anyone else. Hell, he probably already has. 

You pulled up to the building, there were a bunch of cop cars as well as other Agent vehicles. JJ didn’t hold your hand on the way up to where they all were, she didn’t want it to be obvious that you were in emotional turmoil. 

You met them right before the interrogation room, you looked into the window, she looked horrible. Obviously, she was using again, she had all the signs, every memory from high school came back. Seeing her so skinny and malnourished from the drugs. Her hair was lackluster, it was flat and dull in color, her skin was deathly pale and had many skin breakouts due to how shot her entire system is. 

Garcia filled all of you in everything she’s done. You already knew this though, Hotch gave you a weird look because you wouldn’t stop staring off into space (which showed your anxiety was spiraling bad). You also didn’t chime to help, you just shut down. 

Hotch moved to behind you and touched your back lightly, “can I see you for a moment?” You two slipped out without making it obvious, you were sure none of them noticed but Hotch knows you like a daughter. 

He shut the door to his office, “what’s going on, Y/N?”

You shrugged, “nothing.” 

“I know you’re lying, did you and JJ have a fight that’s distracting you? Is your mental health acting up again?”

“No, God, No. And You know if we have problems we let them go at work to get things done.” You said defensively. 

“Well, both of you are pretty closed off right now, usually you two never leave each other's sides during cases. You aren’t being attentive and aren’t chiming in. If it’s not your mental health or JJ, what is it?” 

You bit your lip nervously, “that woman in there, she’s my half-sister.” 

Well, it was clear he wasn’t expecting that, “It’s not in your file that you have siblings.” “That part was optional, I left it blank for a reason.” 

“What happened?” He asked gently. 

“She chose that life over her family, over her children. We paid for so many facilities and got her help multiple times. She threw it all away. I can’t forgive her for that.” 

He nodded, “think you can go back in there?”

“I want that bitch locked away, Hotch. If you allow me to have that personal vendetta, then yes I want to go back there.” You said, determined. The fire in you igniting more. You would make sure she never saw her kids again. 

He nodded and gestured towards the door, “lead the way.” -------------------------------------------

“I want to go in there to interrogate her.” You spoke, your voice void of any emotion, you got really good at hiding your emotions. Especially around her. 

Rossi nodded, oblivious to the looks JJ was giving you, “sounds like a plan to me, you are the toughest I feel like right next to Hotch and Morgan.” 

You smiled in response, it was light praise to you. 

“Hey Y/N?” Reid asked. 

“Yeah?” You looked at him, pushing a stray hair that fell in your face back. 

“She looks a lot like you, and has the same last name.” He said gently. 

“Yes, she’s my half-sister, Reid.” You said, looking at the entire team's reactions. 

To say they were shocked would be an understatement. 

“Are you sure you should go in there then?” Morgan asked. 

You nodded, “I can do it. I don’t really care if she gets locked away. In fact, I think everyone in my family will be better off.” 

Nobody said anything at your words, then Emily spoke, “go get the confession.” 

---------------------------------------------

You stood outside the door, JJ came up and gave you a kiss, “you got this, babygirl.” 

You blushed, then groaned, “great now I’m gonna be all flustered.” 

She laughed, it made your heart lighter, “I love you.”

“I love you.” You said back, she kissed you again and walked away.

You waited a few moments to open the door, you could do this.

When you opened it, she looked up to see who it was, she saw you and gave you a confused look, “Y/N? What are you doing here?”

“If you came to my graduation party, you would know this is where I worked.” You said, like she was stupid. 

“I knew you were in the FBI at least.” “Considering all the laws you’ve broken, I wouldn’t have thought so.” You threw the file on the table, “I’ve already told them about everything you did to my family, to your children. They aren’t so happy and everybody here is dedicated to locking you away. You can’t play the victim card anymore.” You spoke gently, trying to keep nerves out of your voice. 

“Traitor.” She hissed. 

“Hm, you knew you had a relative in the FBI yet you still kept doing bad things, you also have two kids you left for a crime ring so I don't think I’m the traitor here.” You said sitting across from her, you ignored the anxiety in your veins, you wanted to fiddle with your engagement ring but didn’t really wanna talk about JJ with this woman. 

“Tell me what happened,” You leveled her with a look, that same look that your father would give her, the ‘i’m disappointed’ look, she had some feelings, and that look usually worked. “Why would I tell you?” You shrugged, “I don’t know, you bragged about getting kidnapped before so I wonder what you’ll brag about now, maybe seeing the inside of Quantico, maybe how they tried to break you and you resisted.”

“They sent my baby sister in to intimidate me,” she scoffed, “pathetic.” 

“Oh that isn’t my job.” You smiled, you were going to enjoy this. 

“Whose job is it?” She deadpanned, not having any of your shit, but you didn’t care. It was too much fun. 

“The prison guard outside who’s waiting to guide you to prison.” You shrugged.You could feel the ‘Hotch’ look through the glass for telling her so much. 

But you knew how to scare her, how to make her feel like shit. Guilt tripping was the best, hearing her lies, it was almost comical at how ridiculous they were. 

“Your daughters are doing great by the way, they stayed here with me for a week.” It was a great week, Hotch granted you and JJ time off to spend time with them and the boys. JJ even asked for their permission to marry you, she proposed the next week on your anniversary.

She sighed and looked at the mirror, it was like she was staring down your team on the other side. 

You sat in silence for a few minutes, before she spoke. “I’m sorry.” “No.” You simply said, shaking your head. 

“No?” She asked. 

“Don’t say you’re sorry just to say it, I don’t want some apology, you’re going to prison no matter what.” You shrugged. You forbade your emotions getting involved right now. JJ and the team were working overtime to get this confession out in time. 

“Bullshit, I am not.” She insisted, her voice going up a couple octaves. She was nervous. 

“What? You think you’re just gonna walk out of here? You have several federal offenses.” You opened her file, “carjacking, credit card fraud and identity theft alone are going to be up to 30 years in prison.” 

“There’s no proof.” She was just spitting stuff out at this point, she was getting frazzled. Her eyes, eyes that you both shared from your father, were wide and full of fear. 

“There are countless video files as well as credit card traces and millions of other traces. You’ve been on the list for years it seems.” You said, your eyes scanning over everything, every single mugshot, or street camera shot. All the proof was in the folder, you just needed a confession. 

“I know you deal, so just confess and we can both get out of this awkward family reunion.” You spoke, your head resting against your hand.

Her eyes caught on the diamond, “you married?”

“Engaged.” You said calmly. 

“What’s his name?” You rolled your eyes. “You know I’m gay, why do you keep insisiting that I’m into men?” “Oh yeah because you were assaulted, got it.” She acted like she just solved the greatest mystery. 

Your stomach sank even further, “Your ignorance is baffling.”

“Ignorance?”

“Yup, you criticize other people's lives and then once someone throws it back at you, you get offended. You are the queen of hypocrites.” you paused, “that’s what your drug lord name should’ve been.”

“..What?”

“The Hypocrite Queen, has a bite to it, doesn’t it?” You tilted your head, feeling her vibes out. 

“What?” She asked, her voice trembling. She was scared. 

Good. A dark part of you whispered. 

“Sure it doesn’t have as much fire as The Bite. But it’ll do.” You said, nonchalant. As if discussing paint colors. 

“How do you know about any of this?”

You smiled, enjoying her fear and the fact that you’re winning. “You know, I wonder what Adam Davis would think about all of this, or Betty Walsh, Allie Simmers, Jaden Carsdale, Julia Brewermen.” You named off just a few of the people her drugs killed. 

“I don’t know who those people are.” Her voice was barely above a whisper and she couldn’t make eye contact. 

You nodded, “those are the people you killed.” “Drugs killed them.” She clarified without thinking. 

The door behind you opened, you turned to see JJ, “we need you in Garcia’s office.” It was a horrible lie, but you knew it was all done. You nodded, you started getting up when you heard Molly speak. 

“What about family, sissy?”

“That’s rich coming from you, you are the same woman who abandoned her children for some dude you met two days before you left.”

“That was the addiction.”

“No it wasn’t, you did the same thing when you were fifteen, with a twenty six year old might I add; right before you got pregnant with your first born. You weren’t addicted then, so don't blame an addiction you use as a crutch to get through life. Being an addict doesn’t mean you are automatically pardoned from everything you ‘ve done, to me, to dad, to your two kids who are fifteen years old and already know that they never want to see you again.”

“What have I done to you?” She had the nerve to look heartbroken.

Manipulative bitch

“Tried to manipulate me to say I took dads alcohol when I was fourteen, I told you I was gay and you asked if I was gay because I was assaulted. You used my mom and your dad for money, you lied to us, multiple times about so many things that I’ve lost count. You hurt people for your own gain, you are the most selfish person I’ve ever met. You know, I went into a career where I deal with horrible people and now I know why I’m so good at it, because I grew up dealing with a horrible person that was close to me. Someone who hurt multiple people that I love-” “I get it, I hurt people-” “I’m not done! You’ve judged me my entire life and treated me poorly and now, I get to enjoy the fact that I get to watch you get put behind bars forever. You will never see your children again, you will never use our family for money, and people will no longer pity you.” 

You walked out without another word, JJ was right there, she gripped your hand because she knew you needed the support. 

With Molly locked away, you could finally breathe and feel free from her problems. You made all the necessary phone calls to your dad. Booked a flight to go and explain everything to your nieces. 

JJ would be by your side through it all.

[hs-devote]

18. E X C L A M A T I O N

Moodboard // Content // Masterlist

Disclaimer:

All characters and situation in this story are fictitious. Resemblance to any person living or dead is only God knows.

Previous chapter;

It took a few moments for Y/N to connected the dot. One thought came up yet she really didn't like this, “So, you said that Dale Jespersen–”

“Jaden Peesel and Randell are the same person, and he's Dale Jespersen.” 18. EXCLAMATION

Cutting someone off was rude. But, she didn't mind, for now, since she didn't think her tongue could spill whatever she was having in her head. However, what Douglas just said earlier made her blinked.

“How come?”

She tilted her head toward her boyfriend, watching Harry gave Douglas a keen look. His voice was surprisingly steady yet firm as always. His demeanour was nothing to worried about.

For now.

"Randell didn't take the payment through a bank account, the media paid him cash. Meanwhile, Dale's account was increasing high a week before the tape being published. His transaction record shows money out to Victoria's account three days since she sent the video to Jaden Peesel, and some certain amount made into his account in three consecutive days a week after the media gave the cash to Randell."

“He might look like shrewd, but he made one omission, Mr Styles.” Eric added, “Randell's signature is exactly the same with Dale Jespersen.”

Eric gave him a copy of agreement where Randell sold the video and the media must keep his identity secret. Then, gave him another one of Dale's signature.

How could Dale be smart and stupid at the same time?

“That's a stupid move if he wants to be anonymous but make an agreement like that." Roman murmured.

Douglass nodded, “Not only that, Victoria once sent a message to Dale that she succeeded to steal the tape from Ms Powell and sent it to Jaden Peesel and Randell's number. Here.”

The man gave Harry another copy transcript of the evidence, only made the CEO of Erskine furious. Y/N could tell her boyfriend now was suppressing his anger, it was clear from how hard he gripped the papers of evidence in his hand.

“Jaden Peesel and Randell are Dale Jesperson. Victoria Selley is the one who worked with him and it obvious that the two of them started this commotion."

“Fucking hell!”

Everyone flinched in their seats as Harry punch the table with his bare hand. The atmosphere felt thick and intense, no one dare to open their mouth. Y/N watched Harry lowered down his head, gripping his hair hardly and growling fumingly. Exhaling deeply, all she could do now is rubbing his back up and down to soothe him.

“But, what's the reason?" Elle cried, "Vic and I are best friends! We're good with each other!"

“At this point, Ms Powell," Allen began, "We all know Mr Styles and Dale Jespersen are eternal enemies if I could say. They haven't had a good relationship since back then. As for Victoria Selley, we don't know yet what her motive is. But, all I know is Victoria was bitter about her break up with Mr Styles."

“And now, both of them teamed up to take revenge on Harry.” Y/N mumbled, “How could they both know each other?”

“Those two are still on my list, Ms Y/L/N. After this meeting, we'll file this case immediately with all this evidence. We don't yet know their reason. However, they got arrest, we can get that answer."

All of them was mind-blowing. Never crossed her mind, someone who made this mess was the one who was always looking for trouble with Harry. Dissatisfied with the previous one, Dale now came up with a bigger issue. And to make the matters worse, he teamed up with someone she didn't think of.

“I don't know your friend is such a snake, Elle.” Sebastian sighed, “A true friend would never do that.”

“It all makes no sense. I can't believe it.” whined Elle, “We're still in touch until now for fuck sake!”

“How could you not see that, Elle. The fucking footage proves your rotten friend betrayed you. That bitch doesn't deserve to be called a friend.” Harry snarled, raising his head to stare at everyone in the room. Even though his eyes weren't on her, Y/N could feel he wasn't Harry. His persona turned 180 degrees different.

“I want that pile of shit and the cheap whore get arrested the day after tomorrow at most.” he seethed, “I don't care how much I will pay the police to quickly arrest them. I want the news of their arrest in three days. Widespread throughout the entire earth if necessary.”

Without any other words, he got up from the chair and exited the meeting room – leaving the loud bang of the door echoed in the air.

“I'll come with you. Because it's not only Mr Styles who's a disadvantage here, Ms Powell lost 30% of her contract just because of that." Roman spoke, "I believe we better go today."

“Just, just do what must be done, Allen, Mr Kane. And thanks for the hard work, also for Eric and Douglas." Y/N drew a heavy breath, "And for Elle, I'm sorry for all this mess. You're not the only one who hurt, many parties feel the impact."

“As for Harry, I believe he's unstable right now. You guys know how hard he holds his temper." she added.

“I'm sorry for that old video, Y/N. I intended nothing for keeping the video."

It felt like a dream for Elle being nice to her. Because the first time they met, Elle was uncomfortable with her. And how she was apologising about the tape, made nice progress. Y/N bit her lip before giving the woman a small smile, "It's the past we couldn't get rid of. Some of our younger behaviours are stupid, reckless, and questionable. This has all happened, so.." she shrugged, "The most important thing is, we have to quickly close this case so it doesn't get worse."

Elle frowned, “But, what stuck in my head is.. why?”

“Their reason is still mysterious, Elle. Once we meet them, we have to force them to speak.” she sighed, “No matter what.” . . . .

Some days were still needed before the files completed and submitted. At the same time, it was reported that Dale had submitted his resignation from Machtig. Even his house, which had been spied by Allen's worker, hadn't shown the slightest bit of activity during the last three days of spying.

It was no secret Harry went on a rampage. His current level of anger surpassed anything else, and it was the worst everyone have seen. It all went more and more disastrous when the client bluntly revealed the reasons for their backing out.

We couldn't work with 'someone' like you

How the hell Erskine have porn crazed man as their leader?

It would damage our image if we continued to work with Erskine

All of those made Harry almost destroy his own office. He was seeing red, the only thing he knew was a burning fire – as in his head and feelings right now. He felt like being surrounded by flames that were ready to devour him.

Erskine's stock fell dramatically, he was forced to close several branch offices that weren't profitable and resulted in laid-off his employees. This was the darkest stage in his life; never thought he would step into a black abyss like this.

Every night, Y/N would always accompany Harry on late-night meeting with the finance staffs, HR staffs, and several related divisions to calculate how much money left for Erskine could pay their employees. And it ended with them deciding which candidate to get layoff next.

This wasn't an easy task to write down the names of employees to be fired. Harry knew his soon-to-be fired employees have obligations and responsibilities of their families. However, it was the best choice and he hoped they would understand and get a better job.

How was Marcel doing?

Oh, the man loved it so much.

The anger, the stress, the betrayal burnt his emotion and let Marcel smirked in his glory. Marcel was still Marcel, with his arrogance and extremely temper. The broken door, shattering glass, and pieces of papers were his masterpiece. All the shouting and yelling were him. The office atmosphere was unpleasant and less comfortable. Even when Harry or him passed in front of the employees, everyone seemed afraid albeit in their hearts, Y/N knew they didn't like him. All they could do was stay silent rather than be his target or be the next employee to get layoff.

But, one thing surprised her. He could be a little rational when in a meeting even though a few harsh words slipped out. Hell, even he was nice enough to her.

If he barked at employees, tore their papers, slammed doors in their faces, or smashed glass to intimidate them, Marcel was never more than scowled at her – unlike their first encounter.

Of course in this kind of state, Marcel was more dominant than Harry. No wonder if Marcel was more present than her actual boyfriend. And it made her worry since it had been five days in a row Harry couldn't switch his position. Y/N had started to panic, she couldn't think of Harry wouldn't come back again.

“How's he doing?”

“Awful.” she sighed, “I don't know what to do any more, Niall.”

Since Marcel had been here long enough than Harry, and of course he missed the therapy, Y/N took initiative to meet with Niall herself – without Marcel knowing. She was sure Marcel would go mad if he found out that she secretly met Niall to fix him. Both of them now were in a coffee shop somewhere in Borough, and had been talking for half an hour – about none other than Harry Styles.

“Where is he now?”

“In his penthouse. The last time I checked he was playing FIFA when I said goodbye.”

Niall raised an eyebrow, “And Erskine?”

“We're on the most critical stage since it was founded, according to the legal team. Marcel even want to retire and sell the company for fuck sake!”

“H would smack him for that.”

“Absolutely," she nodded, "Since the client doubt Harry's performance and scoffs at our leader is a porn star – according to them, we now just have five companies remaining. And we don't know if when they will announce the back out."

“I'm sorry for that, Y/N.” Niall smiled apologetically, “God knows how strong you're guys.”

“That's why we think to change the CEO's position temporarily until Harry and Erskine are completely clean from this case.” she shrugged, “At least it may growth their trust again, while we rest Harry and help him to find his way back.”

“How did he respond that?” Niall sipped his coffee, “That's a huge step.”

“The directors and I haven't told him yet. But I think, we'll kinda lie at him. Says he definitely needs his leave while someone will take over the position. And of course, we'll lend that important seat to the rightful person."

“Do you have the name?”

“We have. But, I'll discuss this thing with his mother first. It's her late husband's company after all.”

“If I could be honest, Y/N, this is the most Marcel has been in Harry's body in consecutive days. And if we don't help him, it might get worse than we thought. I bet he threw the medicines away.” he stared at her, “Why don't you take him on holiday? It can help him to clear his mind.”

Y/N squinted her eyes, “Don't you think it's a bit risky? He'll reject it at very second.”

“From what I've heard from you, Marcel was likely growing an attachment with you." he smiled, "Which something I was surprised."

“Take the advantage and bring Harry back with us. I can't lose my best friend and we'll work together for that, Y/N.” . . . .

To Y/N dismay, Marcel rejected her offer first, said it wasn't important. Yet, she managed to persuade him and said he needed some time away to shut off this mess. She wouldn't take a risk to bring him far away from London, and her choice fell on Windermere.

The natural beauty of England's largest lake could be enjoyed directly through the cottage she rented for a week. She didn't know how many days they would need, that made her rent the contemporary property for the whole week. The house was lying on the shores of the lake, offering four bedrooms with four bathrooms also. The kitchen and dining space holding magnificent views across the lake, not to mention they had private shoreline and jetty mooring. Such a unique escape and worth the four hours drive from home.

It had been three days they were there and Harry seemed to be enjoying his rest here. The new situation and different vibes calmed him and made Marcel less frequent. Everything Harry did was cycling around the district, took a long walk, even swimming in the Lake Windermere. The lake itself was well-known as the largest and deepest in England, it made her nervous because Harry was so stubborn and insistent to do wild swimming there.

However, a few things happened and made him changed upon his return. If he left as Harry, he would back as Marcel. Like this morning, he was her Harry. But, when he got back after finished his jog, his aura was different. He was cursing all the time, ignoring her questions. And from that moment, she knew he was Marcel.

“What happened, Harry? You were fine this morning." Y/N asked her tenth question for him, didn't give up to get the answer she wanted. She knew the man who was drinking in front of her was Marcel, but if he didn't want to answer, Y/N would find it difficult to find out the case.

“That fucking asshole got on my nerves,” grunted him, “He threw his water on me. Who does he think he is?!”

She raised an eyebrow, “He threw water on you? What was the reason?”

“Like the hell I care?” he rolled his eyes, “But, I think the bloody nose will teach him the lesson.”

“Harry.” Y/N stressed her words, her legs stepping closer to him, “Did you punch him?”

“Of fucking course! What do you expect me to do? Doing nothing like an idiot?” Marcel tilted his head, “He got my face wet, and I got his nose wet. Paid off.”

Her shoulder fell off, "The wet is a different kind, Harry. But, you just punched him, right? Nothing more serious?"

“Why do you ask me like that, darling?" he smirked, "That's a bit weird. You seem don't mind me punching someone."

She gulped, feeling overwhelmed by the fact that Marcel brought his face closer. His eyes which although almost resembled Harry's, still kept her struck in the place. Albeit Marcel inhabits the body of her lover, the feeling of intimidation by someone who wasn't so familiar still made her skin tingled.

“That better than you drown him on the lake.” she murmured, yet at once she cursed her stupidity for saying like that. She had to quickly cover it before Marcel got suspicious, “I'm joking. I don't know if he was rude to you or not but I think he kinda deserved it if he had no reason to threw his water.”

“You're funny," he shook his head before pulling his face away and walked inside, "Would you fancy home-cooked meal? I'm not into a take away for today."

“Would you do the dish afterwards?" Y/N wiggled her eyebrow, looking at Marcel who was digging the shelves in the kitchen. One thing she liked about him was, he loved cooking more than Harry. Harry loved to cook, but not as often as Marcel if he was here. Marcel would almost cook every day if he was present, even though he had a rough day or his anger was on the cloud.

“Only if you clean the table beforehand.”

“Only clean the table?”

“You heard me m'lady.”

“Deal.”

. . . .

The holiday originally was for them only. But, Y/N invited Anne to come two days before their return to London. This short escape was help Harry to rest and gather his energy, as evident from Marcel that barely appeared since he admitted he punched someone's nose.

The morning was only seven straight, Harry was still sleeping safe and sound while Y/N just opened her eyes five minutes ago. His heavy arm draped her naked side tightly with his other one was folded behind his head. She brought her fingers running along his chiselled jaw, down to his lower lip and made a stop in the chin. He was so peaceful and fragile when he was sleeping, yet once he opened that damn gorgeous pair of green eyes, he would turn into a solid one.

Her memory took her back to the last night sex. She didn't lie when she said both of them were sex-crazed. They were always constantly had sex everywhere or whenever they had the chance. Either a wild one or the gentle one. Y/N also didn't understand why her intercourse activity was high, whereas previously with Elliott, she wasn't that frequent to have sex.

She drew a smile remembering how beautiful the sunset was while she moaned Harry's name. Since their bedroom had windows overlooking the lake, it was a nice addition to heeding their sex activities. The warm sunlight cast Harry's beautiful face sweating as he deepened his thrust, grunting deeply while the woman beneath him squinted her eyes in pleasure. And when they both reached their high together, the sky was already dark since the sun had gone down, their hot bodies shivered from the cold wind kissed their body.

Hell, even thinking about that made her down there throbbing nervously.

Y/N never denied that Harry was the greatest sex she ever had. His little seductive comment would always get her wet. And sometimes made her think there was something wrong with her because she was so easily aroused.

She was too busy with her own daydream to notice that Harry had opened his eyes and was watching his girlfriend stroking his cheek slowly. He intentionally didn't make the slightest sound or movement, waiting for Y/N to realise that he was awake.

“Enjoying me that much?”

The way his morning voice was raspy and thick out of his mouth, startled the girl all of sudden. Her hand jerked away from his smooth cheek, tucking it below her chin. Harry giggled of the way she blinked her eyes, before throwing the sharp look on him.

“Good morning, baby.” he snuggled closer to her neck with arms tightening around her waist, his naked fingers drawing the circle on her lower back seductively.

“Good morning, golden.”

“Golden?” raised an eyebrow, Harry gave her a questionable look while head tilted up to her. “What's golden?”

She hummed, stroking his sharp jawline playfully, “Mmhm. The way your face lit up when the ray of sunshine glistened your pretty face, it has the golden beauty, H.”

“Such an unusual nickname,” he shrugged, “But, I like the definition.”

“Glad to hear that.”

“Anyway," he sighed, placing his palm on her hip instead, "Mum will come today, right? What time will she arrive? I think we can get her from the station?"

“Around four? But, she told me earlier we don't need to pick her up since she will take a taxi to get here.”

“All right,” he yawned, “Let me stay still like this for a bit before we have breakfast.” said him before nudged his head on the crook of her shoulder, his index finger stroking her hip gently.

Harry and Y/N were silent for five minutes, didn't say a word – just enjoying the closeness to each other. She almost fell back asleep if Harry's cheeky hands went down her stomach, teasing her down there. She gulped and whined at the same time when his fingers nudged her core, playing with her clit before gone to feeling her inner thigh.

“Harry..”

“Darling..”

A frustrated sigh was coming from her mouth when Harry rolled his finger up and down her cunt, feeling the sticky and wetness of her before taking the next step that made Y/N shake. She let out a whimper when his thumb nudged her clit, moaning deeply when she felt his two fingers being pushed into her.

“My sweetheart is always wet and ready for me.” he hummed in her ear, still with his fingers pumping in and out of her, “Such a beautiful morning, yeah? Me and you, after our endless sex last night and waking up aroused and loaded.”

“Harry..” she whined, her chest rose up and down to catch the breath since she was running out of the oxygen. And all of that because how magically his fingers worked her out.

“Come for me, baby. Come in my fingers, I know you need that. Want you to clench my fingers.” muttered him while fastening his fingers' thrust on her, “Do it, darling. Do it for me.”

Harry didn't need much time for lifted his body and hovering the girl he was fingering, while he added the third finger, he leaned down to kiss her. A satisfaction smirk formed on his lips when Y/N buckled her hip and lolling her head, feeling the overwhelmed of his three fingers working on her. She cried out when her man picked up the speed, only for made her moan even more.

“Harry..”

He kissed her throat, “Such a good girl. You feel so good.”

Y/N felt that. Her stomach twisted in pleasure while she screamed out his name, feeling the high came to reach her. Harry smiled, shaking his head looking down at his wet-sticky fingers after he pulled out. Bringing them on his mouth, he licked all of them clean.

She was gasping for a breath while her eyes set off of her boyfriend who was licking her sweetness on him. Her droopy eyes stared dreamily on him, watching the way he was naked with all of his glory and his pride resting stiffly between his thick thighs. She gulped, thinking how easy for him to get horny and now, the way his length sprung confidently in front of him, she was sure they wouldn't get off this bed for another hour.

“Your cock is cocked.” she bluntly said, giving him an unbelievable look.

“Love that my baby paid attention,” he chuckled, “Thinking you can handle the loaded morning?”

“I th–”

The way Harry frowned over the ringing phone showing he was annoyed. He was about to fulfil his lust but the damn call in disturbed their morning. Y/N giggled softly when Harry moved away from the bed and stomped his footsteps, acting like an annoyed little kid.

“It's Allen." he murmured while looking at the bright screen, then exchanging a look with Y/N.

“Harry." she gave him a warning look before shaking her head – no. Along they spent the time here, both of them agreed to not picking up a work call. Whatever it was. She wanted to make this short holiday their temporary escape from work, she just wanted to unwind and forget about problems for a moment.

“This must be important." he looked at her, like he was asking permission, "Please?"

If it was Allen, something must have happened. And Harry was right; if Allen called him, he would deliver important news. And maybe, maybe it would bring some relief for both of them considering how much they were facing right now.

“Put on the speaker, I don't want you to take the news yourself."

Harry just nodded, before swiped up his screen and put his phone on the bed – leaving the speaker on. She mouthed a thank you, then focusing on what Allen would tell them.

“Allen?”

“Hello, Harry. How are you? How's the holiday?”

He stole a glance from her before shrugging his shoulder, “I'm fine, thanks. The holiday is.. amazing. What made you call me, Allen?”

“Something with the case, H.”

Again, he looked at Y/N who was also staring at him. The way they exchanged looks telling each other they didn't know what the lawyer would tell him. Y/N just nodded her head, letting her boyfriend continue.

“And.. what's that?”

“We knew we've taken this case to legal action. With all of the evidence lead to Dale Jespersen and Victoria Selley, they were being sought while this escalates the lawsuit in court. Victoria Selley has been arrested at her house, but for Dale Jespersen, they still couldn't find them." he paused, "We have a suspicion that he changed his identity. Or the worst, fled out of England."

“I thought you should know what to do, Allen." he scoffed, "Spread out his picture and activity record! Ban him for travelling overseas. Should I be the one who tells you such a simple thing like this?"

The rage on his eyes wasn't something difficult to understand, Y/N might never know what it was like if she was him for now, but she knew well the anxiety and anger flooded on him. She couldn't reprimand him who was currently yelling at his lawyer, all she did was wait for him. She flinched when he was screaming at the top of his lung at Allen when he got the dissatisfaction, only to get him angered even more. Raised her hand to try to ease him, she was flabbergasted when Harry quickly shoved her palm away – grabbing his mobile phone and walked out of their room. Y/N could no longer her Allen's voice, it seemed her boyfriend had turned off the speaker.

Harry never shied away from her, no matter what.

She didn't know what are they talking any more or how he cursed his lawyer. She would take a guess he was on the other side of the cottage, or even on the patio. But, that was impossible considering he was still naked. He didn't even take his shorts on him before walking out!

“Fucking moron!”

No, it wasn't the curse made her flinch. The way Harry slammed hard the door made her jump on the skin, along with the banging wooden table. She just prayed that Harry didn't break something here, but she had to get prepared – especially Anne would come today. She didn't want Marcel's presence today.

Should she do that?

Her phone was in her hands, but she was still hesitant to call someone she wanted to ask for help. She didn't want to bother that person, especially they were on holiday. However, her determination was unanimous when another slamming door being heard again. Y/N didn't know if it was still Harry, or Marcel. Quickly she found a name in her contact and pressed the call button without hesitation.

. . . .

Anne knocked on their door exactly at four while her son was out from an hour ago. Both of the women hugging each other before Y/N helped Anne with her suitcase, and of course the mother would ask her son whereabouts since it was only Y/N who opened the door for her.

“Harry is out. I think he's taking a walk, or cycling?” Y/N mumbled after escorted Anne to her room.

Anne just nodded, but, she quickly noticed something was wrong when her son's girlfriend looked off. Squinting her eyes, she took Y/N's arms and bring her down to sit with her.

“Are you okay, sweetheart? You look.. off.”

A nervous laugh came out from Y/N's mouth, "I'm fine. It's just.. well, Harry is in a bad mood today, so don't be surprised if he's a little grumpy."

“You two didn't fight, did you?” Anne frown, “Did I come at a bad time?”

“No, no. We didn't fight. We're fine, really fine.”

“Good then. The bruised on your neck told me so.”

Y/N gaped at what Anne just said, her face flushed in embarrassment and reflexively covered her neck. While she was feeling awkward, Anne just winked at her – laughing softly before patted her arm.

“Do you want me to look around? We have our private dock and I believe you'll like it.” she quickly changed the subject, hoping Anne would do that. She couldn't linger staring at the older woman after she was being caught for her sex life.

“Sure. This cottage is so pretty, you know?” Anne smiled, getting up from the bed and went out with Y/N.

“Definitely. I rented this right away when I saw the description.”

Y/N happily guided Anne to each room while Anne admired every corner of the cottage they rent. She squealed in surprise when her eyes caught an outside hot tub with the lake viewing. But, the things she liked the most were the massive kitchen and the terrace with the beautiful lake view every day.

“How's him, Y/N? How's Harry coping with all those problems?” asked Anne, sitting in the iron chair. Her eyes stared warmly at Y/N, soft yet worries smile adorned her lips, “He wouldn't tell me about that in the slightest, and I'm worried about him if he keeps it to himself.”

“The good news, Anne, we're going to file a lawsuit in court with all valid evidence we have, and I'm sure Harry will win this case. One of the subjects has been arrested while the main man is still out there. And it leads to the bad news."

“That was... fast?”

Y/N nodded, "I know. But, it's not – according to Harry. He thinks Allen and his team are taking too long to deal with all of these, and he has been emotionally unstable since Allen called him this morning for only told him another subject still hasn't caught."

“And.. Erskine? Lucas would take over his job for a while, wouldn't he?"

“It's the best choice at the moment. We thought with Harry being so unstable controlling his anger lately, and the client's currently waning trust in him – we asked your nephew to help us at our headquarter since he already understands his duties and not someone else for the company – especially he's the family. I apologise if our plan is presumptuous, we're just trying to keep your family's business."

“I understand, Y/N. Lucas told me your plan to try to foster the client's trust by temporarily changing Harry's position. He also said you guys lost a lot of clients, and that's obviously a big problem." Anne sighed, "This isn't easy for my son."

“I can't even imagine being him, Anne. With so much to endure, he must be so depressed. I don't blame him for always having a hard time holding back his anger.” she mumbled, “He didn't even take his medicine! He needs them to help him relax.”

The sound of the opened gate made the two woman pause, turning their gaze to Harry's figure who had just returned. Anne hurriedly walked in to meet him in the hallway, while Y/N following behind her. Harry wasn't so surprised to see his mother in front of him, he quickly greeted her and hugged the woman who gave birth to him.

“I'm going upstairs. Just call me if the dinner was ready." he gave them a small nod before jog up to the second floor. Y/N just smiled apologetically at Anne who was shrugging her shoulders, "That's what worries me."

“Was he like that from the start of this holiday?”

“He was unstable. He was fine at first, but if something ticked him, he just threw rude or harsh word. Then, this morning became worst – like what I told you before. He was screaming, even slamming the door.”

Anne pinched her temple, “I'll try to talk to him at dinner. Maybe he'll listen to his mother. He shouldn't be so tense on his break time.”

. . . .

“What are you doing here?”

Yesterday, exactly when Harry was on the phone with Allen, Y/N took a risky decision. With doubts put aside, she called Niall for advice. Since their holiday should go well, it turned a little unpleasant because a few small things bothered Harry and even got Marcel had the chance to swap their positions. Being the kindest person he was, Niall offered to visit them. Mainly last night Y/N sent him a message that Harry or Marcel, had yelled at Anne. And that wasn't a nice thing to see.

How did Anne respond? Of course, she was shocked. Her son had never yelled at her for such a small thing. No, Anne wasn't angry. Anne was concerned and worried about him.

Niall's smiled faltered when his blue eyes seeing Harry was standing in front of him. The way his best friend's green eyes showed displeasure at his presence, and from then on he could tell Harry was in a complete mess.

“I met him at a cafe not far from here this morning, he was ordering his breakfast when I said hello. Turn out he's in a symposium. And I invited him over for lunch.” Y/N lied, exchanging the look with Niall beside her. Impossible for her to be honest with her boyfriend, he could have thrown his best friend out if she intentionally invited Niall to come over.

“Hello, H. It's been so long since your last session.” Niall shrugged, “How are you?”

“Fine,” Harry muttered, then he flicked his eyes to her, “Mum was asking for you. She needs your help with the noodles.”

She nodded, “All right.” then smiled to both men, “I'll leave you two.”

Y/N rushed to meet Anne in the kitchen while occasionally glancing out the window watching Harry and Niall who started talking while walking towards the patio.

“Do you think this is a good idea?” Anne threw a question while stirring her pot, “Is he suspicious?”

“I told him I met Niall just this morning and he's on.. a business trip, kind of. Then, I asked him to come over.” she answered, “He was a little unfriendly to Niall. But, he did nothing.”

“I just wish he could open up to his friend, at least. Maybe he's a bit hesitant to talk with me.” Anne sighed, “I can't believe he hesitated to talk to his mother or girlfriend.”

“Maybe he would feel comfortable talking to another male."

If only Anne knew..

Niall was her son's doctor, a psychiatrist. It was very easy for a professional like him to get Harry to talk to him. He wasn't only acting like a best friend, but also a doctor to his patients. And Y/N put hopes on Niall, so at least her boyfriend could hold his emotions and let this short getaway be a success for him to calm down.

“Harry doesn't look that tense any more. The way he's standing more relaxed now.”

“Should we call them in? I think they'll be more comfortable talking with stomach full.”

Anne just smiled and nodded while preparing the plates. The conversation between Niall and Harry stopped as she slid the door and invite them for the lunch.

During the lunch, Harry had his mouth shut closed – just enjoying his meal. Sometimes it made Niall had to led the conversation so he would join them. Y/N and Anne sighed in relief when Harry was laughing a little for whatever jokes that Niall said. At least, that's a good thing Y/N had seen since he received the call from Allen.

Talking about that, Harry still hadn't told her what made him so annoyed when his lawyer called him. She also didn't dare to ask him straight forward, just let him took his time to come and told her – if he wanted to.

The sun was getting dimmer, and Niall was still talking with Harry – took him to the dock and making Harry unconsciously undergo his therapy session. It took them almost two hours before they get back inside.

Y/N paced back and forth waiting for Niall in the hallway, while peeking at him who was saying goodbye to Harry and Anne. She exhaled in relief when Niall approached her at the door.

“Is it done?” she bit her lip, whispering to Niall since she didn't want Harry to hear them.

“He's fine,” Niall nodded, “He's unstable, even when I talked to him his emotions were volatile. His resentment towards Dale greatly affected his mood.”

She lowered his voice, “Was Marcel there? He showed up this morning, I think. It was when his lawyer called him.”

“Even Harry behaved as normally as possible, I think a third of our conversation – I spoke to Marcel. And that was the most friendly conversation with Marcel. If usually he always bitter to me, he just told about his grudge and disgust – albeit he had snap at me beforehand.”

“Will he be okay? Do you think this will be successful?” she worried, “He could stay away from his phone and not think too much about all of these. But, Harry is still Harry.”

“Honestly, he refused when I asked him to take his medicine. Which I think it was Marcel who refused me, not Harry. But, you may try dissolving the medicine and mix it with his food.”

“I'll try.” she mumbled, then smiling sincerely, “Thank you so much for taking your time to come here. That's very helpful.”

“My pleasure, Y/N. I happen to be in Leeds, so not that far to drive here. Besides, I'm also worried about him.” he sighed, scratching his nose, “How's Erskine, anyway? Heard from him, he has no more control in the company.”

“He's exaggerating too much. Lucas, his cousin, currently takes his place for a moment only until Erskine gets its clients back. His job is nothing more than restoring public confidence in Erskine. When it starts to recover, Harry will return to the office.”

“Fine then. I hope everything goes well.” Niall smiled, “I should go now. Thank you for the lunch.”

“You don't wanna stay for dinner?”

“Ah, thank you. But, I have to go back to Surrey tomorrow morning.”

Y/N nodded in understanding, then escorted him out and waited until his car left her cottage. A small smile on her lips faded when she turned around – finding her boyfriend standing just a few feet away. The man was just silent while staring at her, his eyes sharp made her shudder.

“Harry?” mumbled her, taking a few step forward carefully. Her eyes were still staring at him who hadn't respond. Her heart rumbling, was it Marcel in front of her right now?

“Mar–”

“You invited him on purpose, why?”

Y/N froze. Did Harry hear her conversation with Niall? Since when was he standing there?

She wanted to lie, but if she did, Harry would be furious at her. His cold voice indicated that he didn't like what he has accused of her. And she had no choice.

“I talked to him about your session. And he told me he was in Leeds and would come over if he had time.” she said, “And then he came over. So, I assumed he had spare time.”

“And you lied to me.”

“I have no intention of lying to you, H.” she pleaded, “I was just asking for an advice and he offered to help, by coming over.”

She wasn't lying but that wasn't the truth.. her inner goddess facepalmed.

Harry snickered, shaking his head, “Don't lie to me.”

“H..”

“What are you hiding from me?!”

She paused her step when Harry shouted at her. Her heart was beating wildly yet he still dared to look into his eyes. She wasn't sure, was this Harry or Marcel?His irises were still bright like Harry's, but suddenly darkened a second later – before brightened again.

“I'm not hiding anything from you.” whispered her, “Don't you trust me?”

A deep frown formed on the forehead when Harry was laughing, shaking his head like she just told him something funny. But, what came out of his mouth struck her.

“How can I trust you if you lie to me? What's your intention brought Niall here? Trying to give me a ted talk and tell me everything is gonna be okay?! Bullshit, Y/N! All is not well.”

His loud yelling made her shrink and it was depressing. It might not be good for her to lie to her boyfriend but she did it for his good. She just wanted him to recover and stay positive through the problems.

“Harry, can you lower your voice, please? I don't want Anne to hear." she begged, "I'm sorry if you don't feel that way and I don't understand how you feel. But, this isn't the end. Soon, you'll be free. Victoria had been arrested, and the case still running while they hunt Dale down. Once he's caught, everything will slowly return to normal."

Taking a step closer, Y/N placed her palm on his bicep – stroking the tense muscle, trying to ease him. “At least your anger and resentment will pay off.”

Harry roughly brushed her hand away, looking at her sarcastically then left her alone.

“Don't repeat that bullshit again," he scoffed from the dining room, "How will everything be all right? You don't know how hard it is to grow trust. Not everything will be. Maybe for you, but not for me. Everything won't be the same."

“Harry,” she walked to him who was standing by the sliding door, looking through a glass the like across them, “We'll go through this together. If everything will no longer be the same, we'll face it together. And I believe, good fortune will be on our side.”

Y/N thought Harry heard her when he didn't argue. Yet, she was wrong when the man smirked at her. He turned his body to face her with his eyes gazed at her so scornful.

“How many times have I told you, how can I trust you after you lied to me about that fucking doctor?”

“HOW CAN!?”

She flinched when his loud voice rang in her ears, reflexively kept her head away from him. She didn't lie when she felt like wanted to cry. This was the first time Harry screamed at her after a long time. The feelings of worry and disappointment stirred in her heart.

“How can I trust you when you have another intention with that fucking psychiatrist?! How can I trust you after you made my directors agreed to have Lucas as your new boss and kicked me out of my own company?!” he screeched, “How can I trust anyone when they can betray me?!”

“How could you say that?" her voice trembled, "I don't kick you out from your own company. We all know Lucas is just for clout. You still hold the highest position, and the most important one."

“You know very well I hate a liar, Y/N.” he rolled his eyes, “I can't just believe what you say while you keep a lot of things to hide. I don't know as much and as important as how much you cover up. I can't believe with people around me just like that.” he growled, “Everyone always put on a mask before it finally disappointed me.”

“I don't hide anything from you! Why are you doubting me, H?" she cried out, "If I lie or was pretending in front of you, why am I always beside you? Don't you think I'm not tired? I'm exhausted! I'm exhausted of all these problems!" her panting breath suffocated her, "Who's not tired of dealing with problems of someone disordered?"

Harry clenched his teeth, “Watch your mouth, Y/N. You can't carelessly call me abnormal.”

“I don't call you abnormal? You're just.. different.”

“And now you're just lying to me.”

“Harry?” she looked at him shocked, “I'm not lying to–”

“Yes, you're. You just called me abnormal, different, someone with disordered and won't admit it. What's the difference between abnormal, different, and disordered?"

“Don't twist my words, Harry..”

“Fucking liar!” He violently hit the glass door until she could feel the vibration, her breath caught off when he leaned forward – staring at her coldly while his raged breath kissed her skin. She noticed his pupils were dilated and irises grew darker with face reddened with anger. Was Harry so annoyed with her?

“I'm not fucking liar!" she shook her head, "Stop accusing me of being a liar!"

“Then, what's the right nickname for you?” he challenged, “A fucking slut?”

Hearing your significant other uttered something that you never imagined before, of course it would break your heart. Y/N had never thought before her Harry would shatter her feelings – her heart. Especially she was aware enough it was really him who said that, not another one. When the rude nickname slid out of his mouth, she looked him in disbelief. The way her eyes flashed how upset she was, her breath was short as if there was something suffocated her.

“Excuse me, Harry?” her voice was low, “A slut? Really? What do you mean by that?”

“What other nicknames suits you if you don't want to–”

“I'm not a fucking slut!”

This was the first time, and Y/N hoped would be the last time, she raised her voice in front of Harry. They would never yell at each other if they got into a small argument. For Harry himself, it was no secret he had shouted in her face, well it was Marcel actually, but what he just said was completely out of his own soul. Somehow if he was annoyed and uncomfortable, everything would look wrong for him. Even if he could be honest, he thought this holiday was useless since that made it difficult for him to monitor his company, and all of the problem he had.

“What's better than slut for someone moaned another man's name when she had sex with her boyfriend?" he laughed derisively, his eyes refused to look at his girlfriend who saw him with a dropped jaw.

“Are you fucking mental, Harry? When did I ever do that?" she gritted her teeth, "Don't make up something that–"

“Marcel was laughing at me after that night. He's always bragging how he could make you moan his name.”

It was like being thrown to the bottom of the ocean when Harry muttered something she never expected. She was dizzy, she felt she couldn't breathe. The nape of her neck was hot, her tongue locked leaving her speechless. She never found out Harry knew the accident that night, in which they were – or she and Marcel, drunk and ended up taking off each other's clothes, – and you knew what happened the rest. In her mind, he never remembered it since he was drunk and never brought it up later.

“And you just realised it, Y/N?” he tilted his head with the look in his eyes was piercing through her heart, “You don't know how disgusting it was to see you fucking him, Y/N.”

“And now tell me..” his chest panted, “WHAT'S MORE FITTED ON YOU THAN A SLUT!?”

His voice boomed around the cottage making Y/N turned her head away. She could feel the flames of rage roiling within him, and she wasn't brave enough to go any further. Her heart pained by the way he called her, but she realised that Harry was hiding his pain and pretended that he didn't know that his lover was having sex with another man.

“Harry, we were drunk that night and–”

“And you realised that he wasn't me, didn't you? And yet you still let him fucked you.” he scoffed, “You were aware he's Marcel, Y/N.”

“I– ”

Harry turned his body, his hands crossed on his chest. And at that time, Y/N wanted to cry because she couldn't recognise the eyes was staring at her. No, not whose eyes they belonged to. But, the way he was looking at her like she was a trash.

“Or maybe you enjoyed being fucked by Marcel?”

“Harry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to–”

Her trembling voice was refuted by him who looked so done, "You don't know the feeling. My heart broke to see you did that but on the other hand I couldn't do anything. I am sick of being helpless when something that should be mine is being used by others."

“Now, tell me, Y/N. What would you feel if you were me?”

Y/N shook her head, her eyes were squinting. No, she couldn't imagine it. She couldn't imagine it because she didn't want her heart break. She couldn't imagine the disappointment she had to accept.

“Why, Y/N? Why did you do it? Why did you let it happen?”

She shuddered, his whisper right in her ear made the goosebumps appeared on her skin. She could feel how close his face was to her right now albeit her eyes still shut closed, refusing to look at his eyes. She couldn't bear the eyes of someone who disappointed with her.

“Do you want him instead?”

“TELL ME!”

With the blink of an eye, Harry grabbed her hand and pushed her down to the floor, sending her squeezed into the corner of the kitchen. His rough behaviour once again made her frozen in place, never in her head she thought he could rude to him. And this was Harry, not Marcel.

His slow steps took him to the woman who was curled in the corner. She gulped harshly when he squatted in front of her. She couldn't make a sound, her adrenaline was racing, her heart was pounding with fear. She felt like a lonely deer ready to be pounced on by a hungry tiger.

“How could I trust someone who lied to me?” he worked his jaw, “And the most pathetic thing is, she's someone who's important. But, she played me with lies and bullshit.”

“I'm not, H..” her voice quaked, “I'm not lying anything. And for Marcel incident, I couldn't say how wrong I was.”

“You know I don't like liars and traitors, Y/N. We've talked about this before. I even entrusted my big secret to you but this is what I got?” his voice was cold, sharp and heart-wrenching, “You have no idea how disgusted I am for thinking my girlfriend fucking someone. And both of them seemed enjoyed it so much.”

“Harry..” she began to sob, “I don't mean that way..”

He got up, walking away from her. With a huff, he paced back and forth in front of her. For a moment, he rubbed his face before shaking his head with a chuckle. She cautiously watching him carefully, she didn't dare enough to move from there since her body becoming numb.

“We both knew we enjoyed that night, darling.”

She had never turned her head this fast, staring at him who suddenly was standing in front of her. Oddly enough, he was smiling at her. Smiling like he wasn't mad at her like a few moments ago. And now, she recognises the pair of eyes that always haunted her nightmare. She saw Marcel there, smiling sickly at her.

“What do you want, Marcel?" she growled at her, muster up the courage to confront the creator of all these messes, "Don't you feel enough? Don't you feel enough to ruin Harry's life? My life?"

“Oh, darling.” he cooed sweetly, “He was very upset. He was crying because he couldn't stop me and saw with his own eyes how much you enjoyed our sex.”

“I was drunk, Marcel.”

“I'm aware. But, whose name did you moan that night? Harry or me?” he smirked, “I'm flattered that you knew I was there and still let me made you orgasm.”

“Stop it, Marcel.”

“Why? I'm talking the truth, am I?” he arched an eyebrow, “You have no idea how much I missed the feeling of your skin on me. Can we do that again? And maybe give Harry a little show?”

Y/N didn't think twice as she stood up to attack Marcel. She didn't care that the person in front of her now shared the same body as Harry. All she wanted was to punch Marcel. But, he quickly stepped back before turning his body away.

“No! Go away, Marcel.”

She heard he was talking to Marcel. Was this Harry talking to Marcel?

“Stop!”

He grabbed his own hair with knees fell to the floor. He grimaced, as if in pain, with his fingers still tangled between the roots – pulling them harder. Y/N hesitated. What should she do? Should she approached him or keeping the distance?

Because what she was paying attention to at this time, Harry was trying to prevent Marcel from taking over. His hoarse voice repeatedly saying no to the person who tried to control his mind.

Yet, everything went silent when no more sound came out of his mouth. Only their ragged breath filled the open air. Y/N still huddled in the corner while Harry still backing her. She thought this was the right moment for her to approach him. She got up and took her steps painfully slow, hand reached out to touch her boyfriend's arm. Her heart was pounding so heart like she could hear them clearly in her ear, cold sweat pouring down her neck like she was about to experience something. Everything was so quiet, painfully quite that it scared her. Never once did she feel like this even when Marcel was around.

“Harry?”

Not for a second she landed her hand on his arm, the man quickly turned his body making her flinched. She didn't know why Harry scared her so much with the way he glared at her. She ventured back into touching him, but what happened next made her gasped – again. He pushed her again until she fell near the dining table, made her head hit the edge of the table. What's wrong with him?

“What's wrong with you?” she cried out, touching her temple which seemed to be swollen. Hell, she wanted to scream at him. She really understood his emotions were unstable but pushing her away wasn't something nice.

“Sometimes I think, maybe it was a mistake to let you knew my secret.” he murmured, eyes looking away from her, “At the end of the day, you would use that for your own good.”

“Pardon?”

“I trusted you with my secret. I trusted you with him. If I never told you about him, I would never see you were fucking with him!”

Harry thought everything would be fine if he pretended to know nothing. Yet, every time he thought about it, his chest was aching. Like something was giving him a pressure. The feeling of betrayal and guilt, always haunted his heart and mind. He felt betrayed by the two of them but it was all his fault. Who wouldn't get mad if their girlfriend betrayed him in such a thing like that?

“But, you're the one who chose to tell me, Harry! I never asked you. You told me you thought I was the right person to deserve your difference. You trusted me, Harry." she panted, "Let me ask you right now. Where's your trust in me? Why do I even think you don't trust me any more?"

“Don't you think I'm tired of all this? I'm tired of your erratic temper. With your emotions that I couldn't guess. I'm sick of you not being able to control yourself when I know you can! But, guess what? You chose to won't try.” she screamed, didn't care if Anne heard them upstairs. “Do you think it's easy to handle someone like you? Absolutely not! God was very kind to give me patience all of this time.”

“Now, I'm thinking. Maybe all this is God's way of repaying everything you've done. As Harry, or even Marcel.”

Harry didn't even need to think twice when he grabbed the nearest pitcher and threw it to her. Y/N couldn't even dodge it since it was so fast hitting her. She looked at him dead in the eye, not believing what had just happened. But the pain in her head seemed to make her realised that the man who was supposed to protect her, treated her harshly and didn't hesitate to hurt her.

She blinked her eye, trying to digest what just happened. Y/N didn't know how hard the pitcher hitting her head until it was shattered and hurt her. She felt the pain just after a drop of blood ran through her face. Then, she shifted her eyes to him. Harry. She couldn't trust her voice at this point, just giving him a look of disappointment and pain to him to understand. And for Harry, he was still had his eyes on her with a reddened face, jaw tightened and both fists were clenching tightly.

Both of them didn't say a word, just exchanged glances. Y/N didn't feel the pain, her adrenaline was racing so hard that she felt like he was numb.

“How many more times do you need to hurt me, Harry? Have you not realised all this time, the way you closed yourself for me is also hurting me? And do you realise that too makes me question your trust in me?” whispered her, “Tell me, H. How can we restore the trust and be optimistic about everything we face?”

Harry still had his mouth closed, eyes sharp on her. During the silence, Y/N felt the excruciating pain in her bloody head. But, she ignores it. She needed an answer from him, now.

“TELL ME!”

Harry was seeing red. No one ever tested his patience like this. Not his family. Not the company. Not even Marcel. Maybe Marcel would applaud him seeing he couldn't make peace with himself. After all, that was what Marcel wanted, right?

Hearing his girlfriend raised her voice at him, he felt she was insulting him. With jaw clenched tightly, he pulled her away before smashing her against the wall. Y/N felt her back and head hit the wall hard. She couldn't count the number of times her body being slammed, she was too busy trying to get Harry's hand off her and begging him mercy.

“This is what you've got for betrayed me.” Harry gritted his teeth, no longer slamming her body but hands still tightly gripped her hair, “Don't even test my patience if you can't handle it.”

“You're the one who tested my patience, Harry.” her breath stammered, her head was burning.

She cackled slightly, before coughing because her breath was shortened. Her eyes glanced slightly at Harry who still gripping her roots, “Do whatever you want, Harry. I can't stop you, can I?”

Everything went creepy silence along with Anne's deafening scream. She blinked softly, lolling her head towards her boyfriend. She didn't know why she was smiling like nothing happened. The last thing she knew, she smelt her own blood soaking her face as her breath slackened. . . Please excuse some errors Talk to me :)

[starlingsrps]

clara cooke char. dev.

BASIC INFORMATION

full name: clara elizabeth cooke

reasoning: not really

nickname(s): nope.

preferred name(s): clara

birth date: april 29

age: twenty one

zodiac: taurus

gender: cis female

pronouns: she/hers

romantic orientation: heterosexual

sexual orientation: heterosexual

nationality: american

current location: [blep]

living conditions: she finally has a single at the sorority house and she's very ruthless about keeping it organized and tidy. sure it's the size of a glorified dorm room but she's got a window, plants, and her mini fridge. all is well.

BACKGROUND

birth place: rye, ny

hometown: cortland, ny

social class: middle

education level: senior (junior?) in college; b.s. in psychology

father: harry cooke, 47, apple orchard owner

mother: rachel cooke, 47, apple orchard owner

sibling(s): riley cooke, 25; colin cooke, 19; taylor cooke, 16

birth order: middle

children: nah

pet(s): the cooke family has a very large, very simple labradoodle at home named felix. felix's skills include eating and being a sentient weighted blanket.

other important relatives: the usual course of aunts/uncles/cousins.

previous relationships: dylan cooper, on and off (and off and on)

current relationship: on and off with gavin hall (it's complicated but she'll give you a timeline)

arrests?: nah

OCCUPATION & INCOME

primary source of income: student loans

secondary source of income: work-study at the psych lab entering data.

content with their job (or lack there of)?: it's all just fine for now.

past job(s): her family owns and operates an apple orchard so she's done pretty much every job possible at the orchard up to and including driving a tractor on hay rides, making apple donuts, herding small animals at the petting zoo, and wearing the cursed scarecrow costume and scaring children.

most valuable possession: gavin gave her a designer bag for her last birthday they were together and while she doesn't like to carry it because it's expensive and a bit too much for her, she will use it when they are dating but otherwise it stays in her closet.

SKILLS & ABILITIES

physical strength: b - like it's okay.

speed: b+

intelligence: a

accuracy: b

agility: b

stamina: b

teamwork: good but she prefers to be in charge and sees herself as a good leader. she's president of her chapter and she tries to be benevolent.

talents: good memory, multi-tasking, beer pong.

shortcomings: stubborn, possessive, two beer maximum

language(s) spoken: english

drive?: yep (car AND tractor)

jump-star a car?: yep

change a flat tire?: yep

ride a bicycle?: yep

swim?: yep

play an instrument?: nope

play chess?: nope

braid hair?: yep

tie a tie?: yep

pick a lock?: nope

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE & CHARACTERISTICS

face claim: casimere jollette

eye color: blue

hair color: blonde

hair type/style: long and wavy; she styles accordingly with the occasion.

glasses/contacts?: 50/50

dominant hand: right

height: 5'2

build: hella petite. she's the first to call herself portable.

exercise habits: five days a week, weekends are for sleep.

skin tone: fair

tattoos: nah

piercings: ears

marks/scars: freckles; scar on her left shoulder that she brushes off if asked but definitley came from climbing through a broken window in high school.

notable features: hella cheekbones, disarmingly adorable.

usual expression: neutral listening

clothing style: she really prefers skirts or dresses and tends to be slightly overdressed. she's big on presenting herself well which is why clara is a twenty one year old with a suit and is prepared to dress for any theme.

jewelry: whatever suits the outfit

allergies: dust and pollen

diet: p reasonable

physical ailments: nah

PSYCHOLOGY

enneagram type: 2 - the helper

moral alignment: lawful good

temperament: phlegmatic

element: earth

mbti type: esfj

mental conditions/disorders: nah not really

sociability: excellent

emotional stability: p good

obsession(s): not so much but she does always just feel better when things are where they're supposed to be and she knows what the day holds.

compulsion(s): nah

phobia(s): worms

addiction(s): nah

drug use: nah

alcohol use: sure

prone to violence?: nah

MANNERISMS

speech style: to the point

accent: nah

quirks: sunday nights she does yoga, organizes her planner for the week, and restocks snacks and minifridge. she does not ever skip this.

hobbies: planner design, event planning for the sorority

habits: general organization

nervous ticks: drumming her fingertips

drives/motivations: success, independence

positive traits: reliable, grounded, creative, hard working

negative traits: stubborn, possessive/hypocritical about that, petty

sense of humor: nothing too notable but like: she laughs. she's human.

do they curse often?: not really so when she does, it's with purpose.

FAVORITES

activity: solving

animal: dogs

beverage: her giant water bottle is always present but she likes to crush a red bull now and then.

book: big little lies

color: pink and yellow

designer: nothing specific but she is the queen of a tj maxx bargain.

food: pizza, always.

flower: gardenias

gem: she thinks spending that amount of money on jewelry is stupid but like, diamonds /are pretty.

holiday: christmas

mode of transportation: walk or drive

movie: ever after

song: "brutal" by olivia rodrigo is a vibe.

scenery: truly just a simple bitch who enjoys fall colors.

scent: vanilla and patchouli

sport: football in theory - she enjoys a good tailgate and gavin plays so here they all are.

television show: gilmore girls and csi

weather: sunny and mild, early fall preferred.

vacation destination: cities - spring break is fine but she usually winds up needing a seperate vacation afterwards.

ATTITUDES

greatest dream: short term is maintaining order in the sorority. long term, she absolutely has a ten year plan that starts with graduating and getting into a strong ph.d program and ends with marriage and kids by thirty.

greatest fear: settling.

most at ease when: working towards something; she's not great at just doing things for fun - there should always be an end goal.

least at ease when: she really hates fighting with anyone. in the moment, she really hits below the belt and feels terrible about it later.

worst possible thing that could happen: failure.

biggest achievement: everything she's accomplished in school so far - she's been on the dean's list every semester, she's set to graduate with honors, she's president of her sorority. she has busted her ass for this and she's proud of herself.

biggest regret: dylan sometimes.

biggest secret: she really does love dylan and it drives her nuts.

top priorities: finishing school strong, her family and friends.

[wakandascrystal]

BET. II

Erik x BlackReader

Summary: Erik and his friends place a bet to get with you little does he know who you and family are.

Part 1

......................................

“Ahh Ray Charles.. Ray Sings, Basie Swings. How did you know? I’m going to enjoy this..“ Your father held the vinyl closely reading all the fine print on the back of the casing.

“How could I not? Ray was all you listened to back then. Your one and only obsession.“ You smiled fondly at the older man. He seemed to be really happy about the gift. That made you feel good. Job well done.

He called one of the four men that stood guard around his office. Dressed in black suits with black earpieces. One hurried towards him. With quickness he took the vinyl from his hands and pulled out the vinyl to insert it into the gramophone.

He dropped the needle and Oh, What A Beautiful Morning started playing. Ray Charles voice filling the wide space. Your father's office was the backdrop of your childhood when you were still innocent and hopeful. You used to run between the wooden chairs and hide behind the large curtains. Minding your blissful business.You missed these days but thinking about the past did nothing but let pain into your heart. Now you were back years later, a grown women. Wiser, intelligent and sometimes harsh.

 Your father's smile took you out of your train of thought. He seemed happy these days. You didn't live with him so seeing him was a treat. You would told anyone this but you were much closer to him the your mother. There were reasons for that, none that made your mother seem unfit but you felt more willing to share your woes and problems with your father. It just felt right.

Next moment the guards left, moving swiftly and closed the door behind them. Offering much needed privacy. While they left he poured himself a glass of whiskey. 

“Thats is not true, Ray is not my only obsession...speaking of..how is your Mother doing?“ He carried on the conversation as if nothing had happened.

“For a divorced couple you both do sure ask about each other a lot.“ You placed your bag on his wooden table and sat down on the leather chairs. Your large dreadlocks laid down the sides of your body. 

“She is the Mother of my beautiful children how could I not care about her well being Y/N?“ He was being sarcastic to cover up his true feelings. He felt bad that you had figured him out already. He sometimes forgets how in ture you are with people's motives and emotions.if only he knew that you didn't judge him one bit. You loved that he wanted her back but you couldn't make your mom fall for him. Not after what happened. 

“I guess, but I know you miss her ...and not in that way in the other way...in the making a 4th child way.“ You took a sip of his whiskey since you already decided to be cheeky with him.

“Y/N!! I am your father!!“ He gently reminds you.  

“And I am your daughter, who can see through your bullshit....I have a good idea! Marry her again!!“

“Y/N!“

“Okay I'm sorry about swearing but you know i'm right.“ You cross your legs and arms.

He leaned back and siped what was left of his whisky. A coy smile on his face thinking about his ex wife.

“How are the twins by the way?” 

“They are fine. Somewhere in Spain, partying. They are young, Dad. Let them live okay. Don't do what you did with me.  Look, now i'm a introverted bitch who cares more about her hair care collection than a real relationship. Call them ...ask how they are doing...show them ...that you care even if it looks small. We love affection.“

“Okay I won't be strict on the boys and ill send them love letters every 2 seconds”

You rolled your eyes

“- But your mother will defendant be strict with them. I can't help you there. Speaking about relationships..you still up on my offer?”

You let out a sigh thinking about his offer. 

“No..I love you dad but i have to decline.I appreciate it I really do but..but you know I'm not a fan of your line of work... and I know what your gonna say. The money raised us, yes and it came when we really needed it. It's a double standard but I can't have someone with such a risky ...lifestyle. I worry about you and Uncle Ronny too much already. Just for my piece of mind I can't go out with the men you have in mind.“ 

“Don't worry sweetheart. Your old man understands.“

“I mean do you know any teachers, bus drivers, an IT guy...hell you know any barrestas.“ He laughed and your sense of humour.

He was glad you were very open with him. Unlike your younger brothers you had reached maturity that surprised him but sometimes you being alone with no one did worry him. 

“Dad Im happy. Don't worry. I really dont need a man. I'm good.“ You tried to convince him.

“I wouldn't be this...concerned if ...if you were active.“ 

“No! I'm not having this conversation with you.“  You were shocked. He had due restriction when it came to your sex life.

“Baby listen you can't be ...scared your whole life. I know what happened when you were young and I know how damaging that experience was to you. You were so young and brave-.“

You cut him off.

“Brave? I wasn't brave dad. I just.....I just layed there and he-” Your voice cracked. You squeezed your thighs remembering the pain “..I Know I can't think like that, that a man who wants me will treat me that way but ...it's so hard. The thought of opening up to a stranger ..it's bit crazy.” 

You wanted him to knew you were afraid but at the say time you didn't. You wanted to live up to this strong daughter image but you had your moments of weakness. Bearing them deep in your soul was better than reliving them. 

“You forgave him, made some calls and you took care of him.”

“Is that what we calling murder now.“ You pushed your hair back.

“You know you didn't have to do it.“ He leaned back into his chair. The smirk on your face worried him.

“I'm glad I did.“

“but... you became stronger. I dont think you should let that event lead you stray from love..potential love. You are-”

“Putting a bullet through his head was never going to take the pain away.“ You whispered

“Does it make me a bad person that I loved the sound of his ...agony... The scream he let out when Uncle Ronnie started cutting off his fingers. Does that make me a bad person?” You voice was soft and dry.

“You wanted revenge....Anyone would have. You a good girl Y/N. You deserve to be happy, I'll make sure of it. If anyone tries anything. I mean anything with you. They so much as move a hair out of place. Call me and they will wish they were never born.“

You wink at him trying to lighten the heavy mood

“Speaking of that..... I did met someone!“ You looked down fearing his reaction. It was bad timing but you wanted him to know 

“Really now?“ he looked surprised.

“Yes..and I have his number. He seemed kind and he said he came out of a bad break up about a year ago. I'm not sure about him but he..he made feel comfortable.“

”Well I’m very happy to hear that. When are you planning to meet the young man.“

“I’m not sure maybe tomorrow maybe next week, maybe never.“ 

“Okay then. Tell me when you or if you do meet him. But I do need to leave unfortunately. I'm leaving the country for a bit. Business of course but please do get comfortably. I will see you in 4 days.“

You got up from your chair and gave your father a hug. He was warm and large just how you liked. Your face rested on his chest. Hearing his calm heart beat.

“Thank you for being understanding, for being patient with me and supportive. Please stay safe and come back in one piece.“

“Always. Now please. Get some rest. Eat something.” He gave you a kiss on the cheek and you left his office.

You strolled making your way to your ride. You instructed Frank, your driver to take you to the Hilton hotel. You had been living there since you arrived. The suite you booked was beautiful and you wish you could live there forever. There were no memory, no stress, no anxiety, no fears. when you layed in your bubble bath in the lavish hotel room you at peace. Milky bubble bath sat still around your curvy brown form, hair up away from the fragranced  soapy water. 

You remember telling your father you didn't need a man. That was true you didn't need one but having someone would be nice. The gilded hotel rooms, marble floors and first class flights to any country. They would be so much better with someone. Someone who cared and loved you. Maybe giving Someone a chance would a right start but you really didn't want to date. The process seemed tedious and time consuming. 

But Erik seemed....different. Well that's what you thought. He was a gorgeous black man, there was question about that but beautiful men are everywhere. Your priority was finding someone with a good heart, maybe some who is simple. No flashy lifestyle. Someone would have patience and be slow with you.

Taking a chance climbed out of the warm tub heading to get your phone on the messy bed...Wrapped in a towel you decided to call him.

***************************

“You are a punk, look hoe I'm beating your ass.“ Erik shouted

They were in a heated basketball video game. The guys had brought drinks, weed and snacks to Coles place. It was a friday so they wanted to unwind. 

“Trey, I will body you next round I swear. How could you let this fool win.”  Jadyn complained 

“...And you put money on this nigga.“ Trey called Cole out.

“”What? I thought I could win...I really did have it..“

“Don't lie! You never had it.“ Erik mocked him.

“Ahh I wouldn't be talking if I was you ...shawty still hasn't texted your ass..“ Cole gave back the same energy.

“..She will ..just give her time.“ Erik really didn't expect you to take time long to text him. It pissed him off. He underestimated your thirst.

Any girl with half a brain would have texted him by now.  He was used to that. There was no instant gratification with you. He felt ashamed a bit that you didn't fall to his feet and he tried to avoid talking about the bet.

“..Stop all that..just reload the next game..i'm going to the bathroom... “

He up and left. Minutes later he heard Cole telling him he had a phone call from an unknown number.

“Let it ring...“ He shouted back as he dried his hands

“So E who’s calling you so late. Its almost 11. Early booty call.“

Erik made his way back to the living room.

“Nah all my booty calls are saved. I have Friday Linda big Titties, double cheek up Nikki, Lisa Titties could be bigger ....and my absolute favorite.....Nasty Keke. Now that bitch is crazy. “

“Call it back maybe it's an important call from the hospital or something.“ He stopped playing the game.

“Man why would you say that...playing with my guilty conscious and shit.“

He dialed up the number and called it.

It would be an understatement to say he did not expect your voice. It was sweet with just enough of nervousness to make it sound more attractive.

“Hey“ Erik’s voice involentarly went high as well and all the 3 men in the room with him looked at him. 

“Are you alone?“ You asked. Erik signaled them to turn of the games and stay quiet then proceed to put the call on speaker.

“Yeah It's just me. I..I didn't expect you to call.“ 

“Oh ...Im sorry. Its just I feel like calling is better? Don't you think?“ You waited for him to answer. Tip toeing around your room. 

“Don't apologise...I mean..Yeah..Calls are more personal. Makes the person in the other end feel..... real.“ 

All 3 men knew Erik was talking shit but for a small moment Erik forgot about the Bet. It was actually nice to have a female call him like this. It had never happened before. They always just texted him. Texted him where to pick them up and when to. They never really wanted to get to know him. 

“Did your father like the gift?“ He asked 

“Yes, he did. He’s a big fan of Ray.“ You hated how nervous you were. It really annoyed you. You didn't understand because you weren't this emotional when you meet him back at the music store. Why did you feel like this now. You liked how deep his voice was, You tried not to be affected by its smoothness.

“ - and hows that heart of yours?“ Erik remembered the lie he had told before.

“His doing much better now that you called. You made a brother wait 2 weeks.”  You let out a playful laugh

“Believe or not but I have other things to deal with...but you're very corny Sir. Do you know that?“

“Yes. I'm just trying to be myself. Corny all day. How was your day Y/N?“

“Well, I facetimed my brothers, Dwayne and Dean. They on vacation right now. Then I visited my dad. I actually gave him the ...gift today. Now i'm at home...its a hotel but still.. Nothing much really and you? A handsome man like you surely has tons of women -“

Erik knew that in order to gain your trust he had to destroy any doubt you might have about him. That yeah, a tall, handsome man could be available like that.

“Its 11: 20 and Im on the phone with you ..what women?”

The line went silent for too long. You didn't know what say. Erik and his friends could hear your soft breaths. You were lying face up on the bed now.

“You still there“ he asked.

“There’s a Japanes restaurant downtown... Nine o'clock sharp. Tomorrow.“ You hold your breath.

Erik stood up and did a victory dab and the men smiled

“Let me pick you up, Where do you live?“

“No you dont have to...you know what yes“ Erik thought your outburst was strange but he didn't dwell to much on it.

But that would be hard to explain. Why you had a 6.2ft armed guard following you at all times ....at any given moment he was always next to you. You didn't want him to see that. It would be too early to explain to him. Joe, your bodyguard didn't like leaving you alone. He would meet your father's wrath if anything happen to you. So you would have to talk to him and make sure he stays low.

You would just cross that bridge when you got there.

 “......Yeah. I'm excited.“

You regretted saying that. It just came out to fast. You really didn't want Erik to think you were forward.

“Me too.“ Your heart melted a little. For some reason you thought he would make fun of you.

“Have a nice night Erik. I'm going to bed now."

"Okay goodnight Princess."

You bit you lip and hung up before you moaned out loud. Rolling around in bed you giggled from the adrenaline from the pet name paired up with his voice. You couldn't believe what you just did. You felt a sense of victory. You felt proud of yourself. You hoped Erik felt the same.

**************

He hung up and the boys went wild with excitement.

" fuck that....I'm not letting you anywhere near my girl no more. You too smooth nigga." Trey said laughing with excitement.

"She eat that shit up like breakfast. I hope yall have got my cash ready."Erik said 

“You better send us some evidence though.“ Trey reminded him

“Yeah whatever. I need to leave anyway get ready for my date and shit. I think i'll stop by Tati’s house first. That girl knows how to throw it back. I'm out.“ He got his belongings and left. Meanwhile you left to call Joe. He had rather stand guard outside the hotel door then inside. He liked to give you your private space. You called him. 

“Joe could you come in for a bit i need to talk to you.“

“Sure.“ By the time you had slipped into pjs he was standing in the living room area.

“Joe...Please take a seat. There is something i need to tell you....“

“Yes “ the incredibly large man sat down legs wide on the soft couch.

“I'm going on a date tomorrow.“ You would be lying if you said you didn't expect his reaction to the new.

“..and who the fuck is that punk.“

Joe had watched you grow up in front of his eyes. he was assigned to you when you were 12. He knew you better than most people in your life so he cared for you a lot and he had his own way of showing it.

“Joe please. He’s nice. And he's taking me out tomorrow.“

“Is he that nigga that was bugging you at that music shop. Him and his friends were acting too fresh for my liking. Eyeing you like a piece of meat. “

“okay i get it men are weird but the reason i called you in ..was to ask you ...to not come.“

“Forget it. If something happens to you ..your father will kill me.“

“I know...Its just i dont want him to know. Can you at least just keep a low profile.“

“Okay. I'll try...but if he so much as hurts you ill...“ You covered his mouth quickly.

“I think you forgetting that i can take care of myself.“

***********************************

🌸Tiny Taglist🌸

@fd-writes 

@sheisexcellent1

@writerbee-ffs

@asguardianslut

@chaneajoyyy

@toniilaney  

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Silver for Monsters... (Geralt x fem!Witcher, Part 1.)

Description: The Butcher of Blaviken has a long and famous past, thanks to his friend Jaskier. Yet, neither of those dies easily and it still lurks behind Geralt like a shadow after all those years. History, neither unfriendly relationships, doesn't die easily.

Part summary: A lonely witchress in the woods can mean only one thing - a monster is lurking through the woods and a contract has been pinned up on a local village's board.

Warnings: A bit of gore, magic, Witchress, a werewolf being a bich, Sigimund Dijkstra appeareaing in a mention (if you do not know who Dijkstra is, look him up, he honestly is one of my fav Witcher game characters).

A/N: This one is purely based on my wish to see at least one female witcher, but knowing that the trial of grass doesn't allow that. Because boy? They would tear Geralt’s ass in half.

Word count: 4.4 K

Tagging: (tell me and I will add you :)) @osgon-azure​ @davnwillcome​

Master list: H E R E

Many of you know me. You’ve seen my face, heard my name, or my tales - maybe you even threw your rotten vegetables at me for what I know. It doesn’t matter to me. Such details aren't important in my stories. But no matter how you might hate me - the poet, the bard, the most beautiful man you'd ever seen -, you love my tales.

Indeed, my name is Julian Alfred Pankratz. But when you'd meet me, I would introduce myself as Jaskier or Dandelion. And my most famous tales are going hand in hand with my friend, the legend, Geralt of Rivia. He is the man coming from Kaedwen, the coldest Northern Kingdom, born and raised at Kaer Morhen, the notorious School of the Wolf. And I have already written tales, ballads, and books about him.

You heard many stories and legends about this man - about the romance of his with the mightiest sorceress Yennefer of Vengenberg, the story of how he was bound to the Cintran princess Cirilla by destiny, about how he had outwitted the Wild Hunt itself. Yet I have one more for you. Sit down, have a pint of ale or a cup of wine, and hear my telling of how... Not one, but two witchers traveled day and night to reach the Redenian mountains and how they discovered a horrifying monster there. But have in mind that one of them was a woman.

Our story begins on one stormy night in the Mire West amidst the rampage of the Nightmare...

The place around you was completely dark and lifeless, only sounds of wind howling and grass dancing in it along with heavy rain could be heard. The moon just started slowly rising in the sky, but it was too cloudy up there. That could be a slight problem in your perfect plan. How were you supposed to lure a werewolf out of its lair if there won't be a full moon? These bitches came out of the lair only under those specific circumstances - moon shining on the ground, nonstop.

The lamb meat filled with cursed oil was neatly prepared in the middle of a road and your silver sword was ready as well, laying on your thighs as you were meditating to pass the time somehow - you let the potions in your vascular system starting to work, making an extremely dangerous weapon out of your very own body. You used Cat potion, so your eyes could perfectly see in the night and a Blizzard potion, shorting the time of reactions and sharpening reflexes to the monster's attacks.

A low chuckle came out of your lips. Meditations were never your strength - Vesemir was always bitching you down for whispering to the others while they sat on their knees, and tried to completely leave their body with their minds. You learned how to pretend to meditate, just to shut Vesemir up, but you accomplished the state only a few times. More than meditating, you were in a light sleep while you still could bring your body to sit at least a bit straight.

You had the suspicion that Vesemir knew that the whole time, but he never said anything since you at least shut up and didn't disturb the other kids who were brought to the School of the Wolf in Kaedwen to become witchers and witchresses.

The memories you had bonding to that place weren't all happy, but not all of them were bad. There was a lot of pain you had to endure, yes, but you had some fun in the process. And you still had a witcher family you could always count on - your best pal Lambert and a grumpy brother Eskel, there was Leo, your baby boy, and Vesemir, who was something like your father. There was Coën too, but unfortunately, he was far gone. And then, there was... Well... There was also him.

The greatest fucker... You meant to say the greatest of your kind - the legendary White Wolf, a man called Geralt of Rivia. It wasn't that you exactly hated him, no, you could count on him and his help when you met him on the road just as he could count on you, but you two never really got along in the first place. You never gave him a chance to start a friendship. And to say the least, he was outshining all of you, always getting the best contracts and money. And you weren't even talking about the fame he got in the process.

On the bright side, Geralt was a source of your motivation to become better and better - you both passed the trail of grasses, finishing it in better shape than all of the other kids that were trained on Kaer Morhen. You were already special - while three males out of ten survived, only one female out of fifty survived the trial. But that just wasn't enough of you, was it? You had better reflexes, reactions, senses, and you could cast the signs better than the other two girls who passed the trial. Even though that, it was too risky to send you on additional trials and Vesemir told you a million times.

For an unknown reason, there was a high rivalry between you and Geralt since the day you met for the first time. And when you heard that he's going to endure some more experiments, you demanded them as well, no matter the costs. You didn't care if it costs you your life, you wanted to be the best.

Vesemir and Lambert tried to change your mind for months, but you weren't planning on letting Geralt win the game. You went through another five mutations under the supervision of druids residing in Kaer Morhen, the fourth almost killing you in the process.

For the first time during a trial, you screamed in pain the whole time as you felt the serums and potions crawling through your skin and veins. When you got up, your skin tone almost matched alabaster, melanin almost completely disappearing out of your body, your hair was completely white and your eyes were no longer only golden - they were glowing. When Geralt walked out of the second chamber, he looked the same. But he has done something you would never expect - he asked you about your well-being and if you want to stop the trials. But you just chuckled and left him in the hall.

Lambert was enough of a friend to you. He was quite a normal witcher with a good sense of humor. You could drink and laugh evenings away with your witcher brother and never be bothered with thoughts about the incoming morning. He saved your life many times before and you knew, that the last time wasn't exactly the last. To repay him, you saved his ass from the revenge of former lust subjects, pretending to be his girlfriend and being extremely mad at him.

With Eskel, you had a more reserved relationship, since he was more of a reserved person - he didn't exactly make friendships, he was just a person you could count on any time you needed to. But you got along at the end of the day.

A sharp howling threw you out of your thoughts about your witcher brothers. Both your eyelids flew open, showing the golden, glowing eyes with a cat-like iris shape underneath. The werewolf was set to go on a hunt - and so were you. You opened up the last bottle with your teeth, drinking the potion in one swing, making your blood hazardous for the monster.

After that, you slowly walked to the path where your trap was laid, finding the creature sniffing it. It was rather cautious with it, wanting to eat it, but not quite trusting it. Werewolves were huge beasts with fur, every one of them growing to the height of two meters and more after the transformation.

They might be looking skinny, but their strength was almost overshadowing yours for good. Hunting a werewolf all alone? What were you thinking? That was exactly what was happening since Geralt wielded the tiara of the best witcher in the world. Shitty contracts for a laughable amount of coin. But work was work - humans, monsters, animals, it didn't exactly mean anything to you. You came, did the job and left, always repeating and never breaking the circle. Although to stay true to the codex of Kaer Morhen, you never killed an innocent being - monster, neither a human. If they proved their innocence, you let them go, taking the money anyway.

But this werewolf, boy, wasn't he something different? This bitch was off the chains, suffocating, hunting, and eating alive at least thirteen girls just this year alone. And you couldn't wait to get your dirty little hands on its throat and chop his fucking head off. You hated motherfuckers. And he sure was one.

"This is a nice, cute attempt to poison me, witcher!" - The werewolf rose his head and looked around, showing you its ugly face, which was half-wolf and half-human. Its claws were strong, which could cause trouble as well - he could scratch you without hurting himself, not tasting your blood. God damn it. - "But I ain't no idiot! I know ya poisoned it! Come out! Face the mighty Nightmare of Mire West!"

So it was an intelligent one. That was a bonus point - you knew that murdering him will cause you way more enjoyment than killing a normal beast would. It was probably only a human when there wasn't a full moon, living in their small, stinky cage, all alone in the wilderness. But if the man changed into such a beast which was able to stalk and murder young gals in such gruesome ways, you knew that your sword was the right thing to put end to his ruling over Mire West.

"I like me an intelligent foe." - You growled in a cruel voice, adding a burst of short, dark laughter at the end. You confused the werewolf a bit - he wasn't able to track where you were at the moment. There was no visible movement in the bushes, your voice seemed to come out of a few different directions at one time and your footsteps didn't break a single branch on the ground, making you almost impossible to track based on sounds in the slowly ending heavy rain. - "Feels better when I slice their throats. They beg like little girls to let them live - but you know something about that, don't you? You enjoy murdering girls and letting them beg, don't you?"

The beast was moving its muzzle quickly as he tried to sniff you. The wet air made it almost impossible. The time was ticking too fast - soon, you knew that the air will clean up and starts to transmit your scent. This needed to be done quickly.

"Are ya a woman, witcher? Ye a witchress? I like women, did ya hear that?" - Werewolf tested the waters, seeing a bush next to his right move. He didn't know that it was an animal coming through here, thinking it was you hiding in the bushes. In the next moment, the monster roared with a raw, animalish growl as it attacked the bush. - “I like to snap their necks and taste their meat, I like their voices begging me to stop, the scent of their hair and the skin. Come here, to my claws, don't try to play with me.”

The werewolf then turned around, his completely darkened eyes were scanning the surroundings in search of you. He kneeled a bit, grunting like a pig as spit was dripping out of his mouth full of sharp teeth.

“You atone to all of those murders? You don't even try to clean your name, try to tell me that you are innocent? I might let you go.” - You knew that this fucker isn't innocent but you needed more time to look around the meadow, now seeing every small detail in it thanks to the Cat potion. You planned various attacks, different scenarios, trying to imagine him overpowering you. What would you do then?

“I know that ya been sniffing around Velen for a while now, crawling through sewers like a rat, looking at every shit I made. I know ya heard stories about the Nightmare of Mire West. Ya a witchress, ya know how to recognize a werewolf in comparison to a different monster.” - The werewolf laughed and crawled on all fours, bearing more similarity to a wolf than a human at the moment. His laughter was similar to a hyena.

Then you jumped out of your hideout and cut him with your sword smeared with a cursed oil. The werewolf wasn't expecting you, so you hit your spot, but not in the range you planned on. The beast roared, sounding like a swine, catching its leg as it watched the blood dripping from the cut.

“Look at ya!” - It laughed, its teeth showing again. Your eyes were jumping on various spots on its body - from its lower paws dugs into the muddy ground as he was charging for a jump. - “Ya look like a cat, ya hair white, ya smug arrogant. Come to me.”

You jumped at the same time the werewolf did, but you turned around and swung your sword towards it, hitting it into its ribs. Sword fights were always like a dancing lesson - male witchers preferred different fighting styles, sometimes heavier and more aggressive than you could ever archive. You could move quicker than them, yet your hits were lighter. You danced on the toes of your feet, the top of your sword carefully drawing eight again and again. Your hits were maybe lighter than male witchers’, but you were able to hit the spot more often with clean cuts.

“Ya can move, I need to say. A second cut on my body.” - The beast growled, suddenly spinning the other way, its claws hitting your stomach. The hit made you fall, he hit exactly the liver and stomach, which could hurt like hell. Yet it was not a hit that would stop a witchress.

You made a rollover your shoulders, stopping on your feet. While you stood up, the werewolf almost scratched your face. That was a no-no. Witchers and witchresses maybe were known for long, dark pink cuts and huge scars over their faces, but you knew that a pretty face always means a half of the deal sealed. Thanking all the Gods and angels out there, Blizzard made you able to get out of its way.

Again, you swung your sword to meet its stomach, but again, it jumped at you in a matter of seconds, aiming for your neck. Its claws tore apart your chainmail armor, cutting your skin. But you didn't move a single inch away, no, you held its arm with a firm grip, looking the beast in the eyes.

First, it didn't know why are you looking at it the way you did, pressing the arm on your stomach, letting the blood drip directly on it. Soon, it felt how the skin is burning as the acid was slowly decomposing it. It was looking you in your cat eyes and saw your lips slowly turning to a violent smile.

Next second, it pushed you away, whining like a little puppy, licking the acid off. But it didn't know that it will only make the matters worse.

“What now? Don't you want to taste my blood and meat? Don't you want to sniff me and hear me beg for my life? Are you backing off?” - You rolled the sword in your palm and prepared into the fighting position again. - “The fun has just started, you pussy.”

With a quick move, you made the gesture of Igni sign, sending fire its way, then throwing a Moon Dust bomb at it. The bomb blew up, springling small pieces of silver everywhere its range was. The werewolf was now screaming like a child - it was burned by the Igni sign, silver was burning its skin alive, he was cut - so the silver got into its vascular system and that was perfect torture in your opinion. It tried to run away into the safety of its cave, but it was just to try to lure you in - in the small space of a cavern could be its brutal strength fatal for you.

It was time to use the Aard sign. You were quick, almost violent with it, pushing the werewolf next to the cave entrance. It bumped its head onto a sharp rock, blood was dripping out of that bruise pretty quickly. That was a moment he might start to believe that you were there to truly kill him like a swine. Indeed, you were there for that.

When it laid on its back, it started howling at the moon - that was a tactic used by a werewolf when the things got out of their control. They tried to call for help from wolves living in the woods. But you only laughed as you walked to him, preparing for one last final blow, still holding the place on your stomach where it hit you.

"Ye going to die, Witchress, why is ya laughing?" - The beast growled out with visible and hearable problems, which made your smile bigger.

"Because I killed every pack in the radius of ten kilometers, you dumb shit. I sold the furs and meat for a fair coin, even got something to brew potions from. A valuable deal." - You laughed and swung your sword one last time - piercing its chest with it. After that, as you heard it choking on its blood and scream awfully, you sat next to it into the mud.

It was maybe just a short fight, but it made you cast two signs and to move at an incredibly fast pace. And the hit into your stomach was almost precise, hurting like a living fuck. The fight took its cost in the form of incredible tiredness. Also, the potions were still circling through your body, drawing energy out of it. You thanked Gods that you had the idea to track down and eliminate all the packs in the area. The contract could've turned out much differently than it did in the end.

You waited a while, the rain started to fall from the sky again, before cutting the beast's head off. You used an old dwarven axe for that since it was durable and almost unbreakable.

Not an hour after that, your camp was packed up and you were ready to leave the woods, riding horseback to the city again. The werewolf's head was pinned on your saddle to be seen by any bandit. You weren't in a mood for jokes, you didn't want to mess around with some lousy bandit just to be dirty from their blood.

You changed into a fresh shirt and made a hairstyle so tight that not even the smallest baby hair had the chance to fly in front of your face.

It was a while after three o'clock in the early morning when you knocked on the contractor's door - his name was Stjepan, male about thirty years old with a wife and two small daughters. That was the main reason why he wanted the werewolf dead. He was also a local innkeeper, so you at least had a hope that you will sleep in an actual bed instead of the woodland full of bugs and branches poking your ass and back.

"Who the hell is knocking my damn door at night?!" - You heard his angry yell just seconds before he opened up the door. You stood there, soaked from the rain, only in trousers and shirt, holding the head in the level of his eyes. He yelled and threw up just centimeters from your shoes, but you kept the straight face.

"Monster's dead. I want my money." - You growled, throwing the head in. You could hear the small girls and woman yelling, but you didn't care at all. Stjepan disappeared for a small moment, appearing after a while with a small sack of gold.

"Now leave and never come back, ya filthy creature. I can see the devil in ya eyes. I will pray for ya soul." - Stjepan hissed at you, trying to close the door, but your arm stopped it. Stjepan tried to shut it one more time, but your arm didn't even move out of the wood.

Geralt would've most likely just shook his head and leave the man - but you were a lot of things, pussy not being on your list.

Witchers, since they were males, had enhanced strength of the strongest human men. Since you were a woman, you were as strong as a really strong man - those who had almost two meters, one hundred kilograms, and muscles all over their body. When Stjepan realized that he isn't able to close the door, he opened it once again, your hand finally leaving it.

"This is less than we agreed on. I want my money." - You hissed back at the man, stepping into his house. Oh, you would give anything just to see him spraying holy water on the spot where you were standing.

"I don't have more, now fuck off!" - Stjepan yelled and tried to push you out of his door, but he was pushed back as soon as his palm touched your shoulder. Some wall pushed him back so hard, that he stumbled and fell right on his ass.

"Stjepan, Stjepan, Stjepan... Do you remember when your sweet little girls asked me why I have two swords?" - Your eyes slowly looked through the opened door, last drops of Cat potions still making your night vision sharp. These two girls were sitting on the bed and hugged their dolls extremely tight, both of them shaking, hoping you can't see them.

But you could. And Stjepan's wife was standing next to the stove, holding a pan as if it could do any harm to you. With your stare still on the children, you slowly walked through their lovely, little house.

"Ya told them that the long, elegant, silver one with the runes is for monsters." - Stjepan stuttered out and covered the door with his laying body so you would have a harder time getting to the room.

"And that the other one is for even worse monsters." - You told him and kneeled in front of him, tugging the sword from the leather strap on your back. The steel was making cold notice as you tugged it even slower. - "Monsters called humans. The worst of them all."

"Ye a witchress!" - Stjepan's wife yelled at you, raising the pan to her hip, ready to hit you. - "Ya meant to help and protect folk! Not to kill 'em!"

You would never hurt these children. They were just children, for fuck's sake - their life hasn't even started and anyone, let alone a monster hunter like, had the right to hurt them and end their life. No witcher nor witchress had the right to take an innocent person's life.

But you weren't playing clean games, oh boy, you weren't. When you had to be dirty, you planned to be dirty as hell. You needed to keep your face straight if you wanted to scare that dick off.

"You better give me my money or I swear that I will kidnap your children and make them witchresses. After all, that's what witchers do when people refuse to pay their debts." - You hissed, walking over Stjepan directly to the bed, almost dragging the two girls out.

Just seconds before you touched them, Stjepan threw another sack to your feet, crawling in front of his small girls. - "Now go! Leave the fucking town and never come back! Fuck off!"

You straightened up and looked at the two small girls which slowly disappeared in the darkness as Cat finally stopped working. Only after that, you finally left their room. - "Pleasure doing businesses with you, Stjepan." - You added with a sour, ironic tone and walked off into the night.

Well, your plan with sleeping at his inn didn't exactly work out. At least you had the money he promised, even if you had to scare a few little kids. You walked to your horse, gently smoothing its forehead. Well, the only thing you could do was to ride to another city so you could find another job.

Well, that was the plan, until a man came across you. He was dressed up in a long cloak, covered in the darkness, almost sneaking up on you. You chuckled from shoving the money into on me of the bags on the saddle, not looking at the person. They must've known that you know about them the whole time.

"I won't give you a single coin, don't even bother asking me." - Your mumbling could be heard in the cold, silent night.

"Oh, I don't need your money, witchress. I want to speak to ya." - The person said, putting an envelope into the saddle looking you in the eyes. First, you checked the person to see if they mean any harm - it was a short man, pretty underweight, his arms looked very weak. He couldn't attack you if his mind was bright - he would die after one of your blows. - "Not me, pretty lady, but a friend of mine. Told me to say hi once I find ye."

With that, the caped person turned on their heels and disappeared into the darkness again. You watched him quietly for a second before you couldn't see him - then you looked at the envelope and grinned when you recognized the seal. That old, ugly bastard, Sigi Reuven.

Or, as the others knew, Sigismund Dijkstra. One of the most dangerous spies on the whole Continent. And that old son of a bitch wanted to talk to you.

[hereliesbitches--me]

Full name: Jacob Alvin McCool

Nickname(s) or Alias:

Abbadon

Papi (By Zoey alone)

Dad

Gender: Dude Species: Lesser Angel (Earth Angel variation) Age: 38 Birthday: December 25, 1977 Sexuality: Biromantic, but sexual trauma has left him very resistant about the touch of another man. Very narrow criteria for such a thing to happen, but not impossible Nationality: American, Scotish/Irish descent primarily. Has some latin roots from his mother’s side City or town of birth: San Francisco, USA Currently lives: New York City Languages spoken: English, mediocre grasp of spanish, some Gaelic phrases Accent/diction: Having lived in New York for more than half his life, he’s picked up on mixed dialects from different parts of the city.  But it's clear he's a New Yorker Relationship Status: Complicated, but Married with kids.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Height: 6’10 Weight: 400 pounds (His bones and muscle fibers are incredibly dense) Figure/build: Boxy, build like a tank. Inverted triangle shape with broad shoulders and a slightly narrower waist. Theres little to no fat content on him thanks to his unbelievably high metabolism, at least on the surface. Hair color: Black with subtle grey here and there if you look closely. Not that you would be able to. Short stacks Hairstyle: Shaggy, short cut. Never visits the barber, literally burns or chops his hair himself with claws bcuz of its dense fibers. His hair has a coarse strawlike texture bcuz he’s never learned to properly take care of it.

Eye colour: Sky blue Skin color: Warm beige Piercings: The only piercings he gets are from monster teeth, claws, bullets, and knives. Occasionally from being thrown through walls or cars and the shrapnel stabs a ew inches in. Not really too keen about getting a piercing tht can be pulled out in a fight Scars/distinguishing marks: Jacob is a patchwork of discolored scars all over, primarily from the experiments in the days before his regenerative abilities were fully triggered. His skin is rough, his hands and knuckles have well formed calluses, his face has priment scars down his eye, brow, nose, cheeks, and lips. Most of his major scars, particularly burn and piercing scars, are on his torso and his back.  His legs and arms are riddled with scrape and grazing scars, but are pretty well hidden under hair.

Preferred style of clothing: He essentially always looks like a caveman/ hobo at all hours. He has not had a true wardrobe change since he had clothes in his teens and early 20s given to him while he was doing illegal side jobs. His typical outfit is worn down dirty jeans, a black hoody thats got holes and tatters, and a white tshirt underneath. His pants and shirt seem ready to tear at the seams when he flexes but it aint broke yet, so he doesnt try to buy anything new.  He’s not used to having a lot of money so he’s stingy about what he uses it on. He basically uses it all on food or has Nikki manage it.

Frequently worn jewelry: A pair of dogtags with “DogBoy” embedded in them. Every other detail has been dented or scratched out. Belongs to who he believes to be his dad ( a man that everyone believes he made up)

HEALTH

Bad Habits:

Cigarette smoker ,

Junkfood eater,

Emotionally constipated and does not do well when faced with verbal confrontation about emotions (which adds to the complications of his marriage) . He’d much rather fuck it out and have everything be alright, but thats bcuz hes a neanderthal. Hes learned how to properly act and work through feelings

Has 0 kind of table manners. Eats like a wild dog. Has bad food aggression (which means, if he shares, he likes u)

Breaks shit when hes upset.

Any physical ailments/illnesses/disabilities: Suffers a mild form of psychosis, experiencing primarily auditory hallucinations. Because of his heightened supersenses, he is almost always overwhelmed at any time, though he’s learned to hide it, which leaves him incredibly irritable at all times. His ailment also causes him to have no filter in the things he says, which means he tends to say the first thing that comes to his mind, no matter how ridiculous and irrational it is. He suffers mild paranoia and irrational thoughts, which plays in part with the belief of who his parents are (His records are lost when they found him as a stray 7 year old in the streets of a natural disaster. He swears his father is a superhero called “ The dogboy '' of San francisco, his mother was killed by demons and his dad died stopping the natural disaster. Chalking it up to shock, they later believe its his delusions of grandeur in dealing with the trauma of his parents death. Which is, in fact, not true -- to be expanded on later ) . Along with that original condition, he also has symptoms of PTSD stemming from the events which triggered the full extent of his abilities.

Any medication regularly taken: As desperately as he wants to be medicated, his high metabolism makes it nearly impossible to be medicated with lasting effects, on top of his fear of hospitals , his only relief comes from Rosie’s ability to temporarily block and dull his senses to a livable level.

PERSONALITY

Personality: At first glance, Jacob would come off as your cliche bad ass bad boy type that's so haunted by his past that he won't let anyone in. Which, to some extent, he is. But, the major difference is Jacob doesn't use his past as a shield or an excuse for anything. He’s a traumatized man that's socially awkward and closed off from people because, with a reputation of being a monster and a killer everytime you try to help people, those words do hurt when that's all you've heard all your life. Jacob is a boy living in a man’s body, a clam that faces the world that damns him with a glare and a scowl in every initial meeting, til a string of kindness gets the turtle out of his shell. He perceives everyone as trying to hurt him or use him in some way, but be around him long enough and he begins to warm up. Despite his brutish nature out in the fighting field, behind closed doors he’s much more quiet. Keeps to himself, really only speaks when spoken to -- and anyone who tries to start a casual conversation with him will legitimately shock him because he’s hardly ever treated like a human being. He may start as a dickhead that ignores you and brushes you off, but with enough consistency his edges will soften. One catch is the fact that Jacaob is painfully blunt with one hell of a potty mouth, usually saying the first thing that comes to mind primarily because hes used to only talking to himself or his dog. Or snapping back at people in self defense. Ever since reuniting with his family, Jacob is learning to be more of a family man, along with playing nice with others (something which he’s never had to do before, and its like pulling teeth when they are loud idiots) He learns everyday and he’s trying to curb his initial dickish behavior to something more neutral, to learn to process and face emotions in a healthy manner, and be as close to normal as someone like him can get. Just dont be a dick and make demands, and he’ll be a good boy. Can't stand loud or pushy people invading his space

Strengths:

A diehard friend once you've gotten him out of his shell. He may be awkward but he’s willing to throw a bitch a few blocks if needed

P good shadow caster if u gotta hide from the sun since hes a tall bitch

Will lend u his jacket but it stinks. Sorry folks

Will try to make u friends with his kids. Especially his daughter, she needs friends and so does his wife

The scary one u send out to intimidate the shit out of people bcuz his reputation precedes him

Wanna get carried? People don't weigh anything to him. He could hold a couple of em in his tendrils

Weaknesses:

Food, especially sweets of any kind. He’s entirely  food motivated and his senses get thrown off by food. Because of his metabolism, he has to eat large quantities of food regularly.

Hyper senses means hes easily overwhelmed by particularly loud sounds and strong smells

He likes feeling like he's needed. He’s drawn to it. Deep down, he really is just a boy in the body of a man looking for a place in the world beyond being a big stupid weapon for everyone. He’s searching for that intimacy of understanding , gets frustrated so easily

His first meetings with people tend to be aggressive and dismissive, but its mainly because he’s unused to being greeted with kindness. He perceives that everyone is looking to take advantage of him or theyre trying to hurt him. He has a bad reputation because when he tries to help, he causes heavy collateral damage in the fight, thus painting him as a danger to the city. Used to being treated like a monster, so he clams up into his little bubble before he gets his feelings hurt. His paranoid thoughts dont help.

Electrocution can stun him better than any bullet, tank shell, or fire based weapon can. Also triggers trauma flashes

Fears/phobias:

Hospitals / Doctors / Medical equipment

Deep water (anything deep enough that he could drown in. Because of his dense body, he is not a strong swimmer and quickly sinks)

Being in chains and restrained

Abandonment / being alone / being rejected

Hobbies : 

Jacob has a part time job besides the angel project , working at a small hole in the wall bakery in the less than savory parts of New York City. He is a cashier and helps with the baking process , gets free samples, and closes because no one has the balls to try to break into the shop when he's there. .

He thoroughly enjoys baking and sharing that with his family. Cooking is one of the qualities he works on with Nikki to bond over.

Sparring with his twins. He tries his hardest to adjust to the abrupt change of his life, but he loves them. Doesn't want them to be tormented the way he was.

When he's not working or with the family, he aimlessly wanders around the city out of habit. Likes running and jumping across rooftops for fun.

Carving figurines out of wood or large stones he finds, using his claws

Theme Song:

Behind Blue Eyes by limp bizkit

I Dont Care by Fallout Boys

I know im a Wolf by Young Heretics

Quirks:

His sugary diet actually makes him have a natural sweet scent underneath his natural musk, especially his sweat. Jacob has restless leg syndrome when he sits, especially when he has particularly bad auditory hallucinations. Tends to sniffle, breathe heavy, and constantly run his hand through his hair to soothe himself. He swipes around his ear like there's an irritating bug because he tends to hear a buzzing a lot. It is known that he is considered one of the strongest angels in the world in terms of raw physical body power.

SKILLS

Ability to drive a car? Operate any other vehicles? Who even drives in New York? There’s public transportation, there's running across rooftops like the cryptid u are, or jacking someone’s bike. Yeah, he can drive, but not legally. He learned on his own and hasn’t really bothered with going for a license

Education: Dropped out of highschool in senior year, then got booted out of his foster home when he hit 18. Basically grew up in the street among criminals til he was kidnapped, so he has no real education beyond what he hardly paid attention to in school. He knows the basics of math, reading, writing -- has impeccable knowledge about human anatomy for illegal reasons, but no one gotta know that. He never thought about college or what kind of steady career he would have in life, he lives everything day by day. No one is gonna say no to Jacob McCool without pissin themselves

EATING HABITS

Omnivore/Carnivore/Herbivore: Omnivore with a heavy preference for meat as a primary part of his diet Favourite foods: Beef, lamb, poultry, Sweet rolls, Cake, Donuts, ice cream, candy

Disliked foods: Not an avid vegetable eater in the slightest. Will not eat it raw. Someone gotta make it appealing or trick him into eating it.

COMBAT

Peaceful or aggressive attitude? Jacob is irritable and only wants to help people. He’s not usually one to start shit unless he thinks absolutely necessary, nor is he the first to throw a punch. But once that can of worms is open and he thinks it's a worthy cause, he’ll fold a bitch like a pretzel. Humans aren't even worth his time, but nonhumans? Monsters? He’ll jump right into the brawl when there's no talking to be done. Talking is what other people do, he’s the muscle there to fight.

Fighting skills/techniques: Jacob is a physical brawler in the heavyweight category. Hits like a truck and relies on his own body’s durability to withstand the blows thrown back at him. He’s a full on offense style fighter  that’ll utilize grappling , throwing, and breaking bones to end a fight. All he knows is to fight monsters until the other stops moving or taps out. He has to practice restraint, which is incredibly difficult.

Special skills:

Heightened senses + Physical abilities (Strength, endurance, etc) His nose is stronger than that of a bloodhound and his hearing can be incredibly acute if he has enough focus.

Regenerative healing abilities, though nearly impossible to actually hurt  

him when his muscle and bones are fortified for battle. Has not had a break since he was a child, before his abilities were fully triggered. Can even survive without his head for a while. If it's blown off, then his body will have no choice but to rebuild with the expense of a huge amount of energy.

Bodily mutations (His muscles swell, harden, and change color to metallic like armor mainly on his limbs – able to form massive clawed hands and shield, and generally protect major body parts. However, cannot completely mutate himself at once. Can only do parts. ) + thick tendrils from his back. Strong, but not very good reach. It strains him to push it.

Resilience to superheat + pressure. Could take a supernova blast and still survive. Even tank shells with nothing more than bruising

Weapon of choice: He fights barefisted for as long as he can, or his go to are his claws purely for smashing and slashing.

Weaknesses in combat: Jacob is often impulsive and doesnt think much about whats going on around him while fighting. He causes a lot of collateral damage when he uses the environment around him like breaking off lamp posts, throwing cars, pieces of asphalt, etc. He thinks with an adrenaline fueled brain and somebody’s gotta slow him down . Because he’s a physical based fighter, he does not do well against magic users. He also hates the cold. Opponents like that are like hsi achilles and he shows wariness and discomfort when facing em. He does not like having the disadvantage but it effectively deterred him from just running in. Thinks with his stomach and doesnt exactly do well in fighting when he’s hungry

FAMILY, FRIENDS AND FOES

Personal history: Jacob has a complex history, but for him not even he's all sure what's truth from fiction. What he remembers from the earliest memories of his childhood was a fight that shook the world. Where demons overrun, people are being slaughtered, and his father fights the big monster in the sky, then in a flash everything is destroyed and gone. His mother hides him, then just like that he was alone. Jacob is found a few days later as rescuers search the destroyed remains of san francisco after what is considered the worst earthquake ever recorded, an event which affected the entirety of the United States. He’s only a 7 year old boy at this time , bloodied and scraped up, saying his parents are missing. When they look for records or his names, Jacob Alvin McCool does not exist. No birth certificate, no medical records, nothing. He knows his name and the name of his parents, but  there is nothing to be found. He has no choice but to become a ward of the state and becomes swept into the foster system. Where he would move home to home until he was 18 years old and dumped on the street. Jacob was considered a problem child unlike a regular boy; He was moody, destructive, unnatural with the things he talked about. He was stronger than other kids and broke things without meaning to, but when it happens regularly people doubt the truth to the constant excuse of “It was an accident” He had acute hearing, his teeth aren't normal, his eyes have an uncomfortable intensity for a boy so small, and he doesn't get along with others. Hes sent to therapy and everything he says is unbelievable. He’s sick, but it seems no amount of medication does anything to change it. He wont tell about all the bad things that happen when no one believes him, because there is no evidence for it. Its all in his head. Every parent who had him struggled, and eventually gave the boy up to the next set of hands with nothing but a garbage bag full of clothes. Every exchange closes the boy up more and more, pushing him further to get into troubling groups that seem just like him, since thats what everyone says about him. From highschool onward jacob was already running drugs and taking petty jobs for cash, but his reputation as a fighter was well known among them. No one fucks with the big guy At least not until someone is willing to pay good money to have him. Jacob turns 18 and dropped out his senior year of highschool, not that he was a stellar student to begin with, but his parents at the time couldn't care less what that wild boy did with himself. It was for that reason, when he disappeared, not a soul cared. For 4 years Jacob is kept secret, for someone else believes his story about his father, and someone wants to see his full potential reached as the father before him . They would achieve that no matter what it took. 4 years of Hell to add onto his shit life: tortured, shocked, pumped full of chemicals, starved. Stressed to the limit, pushed to the brink of death and brought back over and over again, scarred and branded, til it was finally enough to trigger the dormant gene. The monster they codenamed Abbadon is born, and far more than they bargained for. With nothing but a trail of red and a mess of meat left over in the hallways, their prized experiment returned to the world from the depths of Hell, and there was no damn way to get him back. That broken boy was now a animal filled with rage and fear. He has no home, no money, no friends or family -- at least, until he remembers Jimmy. Which led him to make the trip cross country to find his brother. Its thanks to jimmy that jacob even found his footing, for his brother came from a wealthy family, and was a genius that worked for the government to make weapons that handle their demon problem in the city. The idea is hatched then, with his new powers, that fighting demons and saving the city would be a good way to pass the time. Things dont always work out in your favor when you lack control, and people are afraid of anything not like themselves. Despite the hate and labels, he still tries to save the day then goes into hiding. Goes back to taking odd jobs and underground fighting, where he met Rocky. 2 years later, he meets the 17 year old Nikki. It was one sided, but she was persistent in pursuing him, having nobody just like him. She was a girl on the run for her life, with no home or money, and she needed the company. Despite himself, he accepted her in, related with her, and thrived in the prospect that she needed him like no one else ever did. To save her from the mental suffering of being Neikan’s vessel, Jacob willingly makes a deal with Neikan to have nikki left alone in exchange for a kid. Abiding by to the terms, the 18 year old was expecting twins, but when tragedy struck she blames Jacob for the demise of the pregnancy, and damns him to never show his face again. Not knowing what else to do, equally distraught, he left her there and wouldnt see her again for another 8 years. Having no idea the events which followed, now that he was no longer shielding her. Jacob had lived on his own in all that time, secluded and trying to find his footing in the world, hes just keeping his head above water, til one fateful day when a 7 year old shows up on his doorstep claiming to be his daughter. Jacob, at 32, was in denial , but he did eventually give in to help the kid find her brother, and eventually find Nikki from Rosie. Currently Jacob is trying to adjust to his new life as a dad and a husband, with complications given that he and Nikki are not the same people they were all those years ago. Theyre learning to be friend, learning to love like they used to. Work it out for the sake of their teenage twins, and get to know each other properly this time around. Jacob is now a prominent member of the Angel project and works part time at a bakery. Whenever he’s not working, he’s with his family or he’s wandering around the city keeping an ear out for trouble. He’s become a little more respectable now that he’s working for the legal project, and it makes it easier to learn to be normal.

Raised by parents? No, raised through multiple foster homes and group homes, but never stable or happy because he was considered a problem child

Parents names: Jake Alvin McCool(The Dogboy) and Stacy Rivera (Biological parents no one believes exists)

Are parents alive or dead? Jake died by sacrificing himself to destroy Spurious in what would have been considered a battle for mankind, to spare his wife and son. Spurious survived slimy and traveled back in time to alter the future, to make Angels hunted and illegal , and the timeline in doing so completely altered the boy’s reality for that final fight to be nothing more than a catastrophic natural disaster on a continental scale . Stacy was killed by a demon but hid her son in time to keep him from being found. Jacob still has the knowledge of the true reality, but when they found him he was only a 7 year old boy by himself, with no records or anything to be found. He has to live his life being told the parents he swears exist and the events which occurred are simply hallucinations fed by his psychosis, and it drives him insane.

Siblings:

James(Jimmy) Jones ( Not biological, but had been in one of the group homes with Jacob for a period. During that time, they considered each other as brothers who have to watch each other’s backs, until they were separated by Jacob being moved again. They kept in contact through letters, til Jimmy was eventually adopted into the wealth Jones family. Jacob disappeared for years til suddenly making his appearance in New York out of the blue, where Jimmy now lived)

Relationship with siblings: Jimmy and Jacob had lost contact for a good 5 years before jacob reappeared in the city. They used to write letters to each other, but because of Jacob’s constant moving and nightlife , rarely any of his letters were returned. They are estranged brothers, mostly on Jacob’s part, but Jimmy still tries to take part in his life. He tries to invite jacob out, hang out with him even if Jacob is considered a criminal, though most of his attempts fall flat. Jacob doesnt exactly mean to alienate his brother from himself, but he cant bring himself to talk about the things that happened to him, and a part of him is afraid Jimmy will sniff it out. Now that they’re both older and parents, theyre working on better communication so their kids can hang out with each other. Even if Jimmy’s kids are dragons technically.

Partner/Spouse: Nikki Ai (Wife)

Children: Kaiya + Ericiel McCool ( A set of Fraternal twins, Ericiel is the oldest and Jacob did not meet them until they were 7 years old, when Kaiya showed up at his door claiming she was his daughter. With his twins having been presumed dead, he thought her nothing more of an illusion til he was fused with her pet blobby, who was in fact a portion of himself left behind with her. The start of their relationship was rocky with his denial, but he eventually did warm up to the idea and turned himself around. He loves his kids even if hes not entirely the best at showing it. Teenagers are just fuckin scary)

Best Friend:

Rocky Blagrove

Rosie Valentine

Ivan Bellemore

Other Friends:

Members of the Angel Project

Brian Howska ( A sweet idiot that helps teach other little angels how to fly)

Nute Norbery (Rocky’s former roommate. He, Rocky, Jacob, and Brian were a little gang of friends)

Enemies:

 Kasimir (Kasimir he cannot stand for the life of him. He’s too loud, does not respect personal boundaries, and too full of himself to be even likeable. Jacob is especially irritated that Kasimir swears to everyone that they’re best friends)

Spurious (The God has had a vendetta against the McCool family since his initial defeat by jake. While he has much grander plans of taking out the Sun, Moon, and other Gods, Ruining the peaceful life of the last McCool is on his shitlist. He personally likes to torment jacob by irritating his hallucinations with demeaning voices and stirring up his trauma. Jacob has a vague idea who Spurious is, but its more of an instinctual hatred for the being)

Neikan and the Negatives (Sure he made a deal with her, but tehyre trying to kill his wife so now he’s gotta protect his family from em)

Pets: Roxie, an Irishwolfhound who belonged to his father. She was Jake’s familiar and always finds a way of getting back to Jacob no matter where hes moved across the country.

Verses included in: 

- Iniquitous essence (The Bio above) 

- The Widow 

- TBA

[minaminokyoko]

A Love Letter to ‘Knives Out’

Disclaimer: This isn’t even a review. This is literally just me freaking out about what a great movie I just bloody watched and I just need to vomit words everywhere about it. Sorry in advance.

I think the best thing ever is I went into this with zero information. I remember seeing the original trailer months ago, but it wasn’t detailed. Just the short one of the premise, and to be honest, I’m not really into Whodunits. Clue is one of the exceptions and Castle is the only detective-related thing I’ve ever liked and followed religiously (up until the final godawful two seasons), so I have no predisposition to even care about murder mysteries. But then Rian Johnson dangled the juicy carrot of Chris Evans playing against type (because we all know the man is a sweetie and I can personally vouch that he’s great at hugs) and so I decided to add it to my watchlist. Then the reviews came pouring in that it was great, which surprised me, and so I decided to take a leap of faith to see if the hype was real.

Oh God, was it ever.

Y’all know me by now. I’m a hard, cynical old bitch. It’s tough to impress me, but fucking hell, I really loved Knives Out.

It’s not that it does anything new; it’s that it is a fresh, creative spin on tropes we’re used to and it’s also the strong performances that just make it a delightful film. It’s kooky and dark and offbeat. It’s charming. It’s wonderfully political. It’s irreverent. This is the niche kind of writing that I adore. It’s why I’ve loved shows like Frasier or movies like Snatch. I love the interwoven mess between the plot and the characters and everything coming to light in a big explosion.

Spoilers down below for my talking points, naturally.

I want to start with Marta, simply because I love how this movie framed the character as innocent, but not stupid, useless, or weak. I love that she had a great relationship with Harlan. I love that Harlan didn’t have any evil ulterior motives. It was simply a man who looked around and realized that he thought he was providing for his family but all he really was doing was supporting selfish, downright cruel people. That family basically just siphoned off of him and had the entitlement complex that is currently killing this country right this fucking second. It was very satisfying when he left them nothing and gave Marta the money and the choice of what to do. The final shot of the movie is genius.

Which segways into probably my second favorite thing about the movie: the commentary about the entitled upperclass versus the working class immigrant. The whole Trump debate during the party made me groan because we all just wrapped up three holidays, so I know that people were having to go home for the holidays and listen to the broken-ass logic of their Trump supporter relatives. Especially since they dragged Marta into the bullshit conversation. I LOVE the writing of having this girl who busted her ass, who listened, who was a genuinely good person, still being able to be a good person in the end after one hell of an ordeal. I loved how the movie poked all kinds of holes in the fake narrative of inheritance and immigration and patriotism. Fuck that. This country isn’t some holy land. This country was stolen from the people who were born here and then they built a fake fucking pedestal on top of the mass graves and proclaimed it theirs. Fuck that revision history and fuck the people who believe these lies. This movie is so satisfying because it’s a giant middle finger to those people and it’s a reminder that the future is these hardworking, kind people who care about society and they are the ones who have earned all the good things this country has to offer.

I also love the examples of bigotry and microaggressions that were more subtle. The WASPs in this movie don’t even realize the backhanded compliments and the truly insulting shit that they do since they’re so entitled. For example, Richard handing Marta his plate while he was arguing for Trump. That’s brilliantly done. He thinks of her as a servant while he pretends she’s on equal footing: saying one thing and yet his actions prove the opposite. There’s also Meg’s comment of “we’re his REAL family,” showing that those bastards all will smile and welcome you until the second you cease to be useful to them and then they show you just how truly ugly they are beneath those “civil” masks. When the will was read, it was the exact shitshow we all knew it would be. That was a great representation of the upper class. It’s not about being loud and racist; it’s all those subtle, hideous things they do to suppress people of color and the working class so they can stay on top where they think they belong. This narrative is powerfully woven in that regard and I really needed to hear this story in today’s climate, especially since we just started 2020 today, which could be the end of everything all over again. I applaud the writing. As a woman of color, I see this kind of shit every single day, especially now that I work in higher education, so I really hope it opens more eyes to the shit that not only immigrants but working class POC deal with on a daily basis. I likened it to Zootopia, where you came to the movie for one reason but then you were served an absolutely piping hot side dish alongside the entrée. Well done, Knives Out. Well done.

I need to give a nod to this powerhouse cast as well. I forgot Michael Shannon was in this movie so seeing him made me giddy, as I’ve always liked him since he’s so damn sinister. He’s a great antagonist actor and I almost wish he’d been given more to do. Jamie Lee Curtis did great as well.

But y’all know what’s coming. I mean, look at my profile picture. You know I have to stop and talk about my future husband’s performance.

Chris Evans as a villain.

Not only that, but Chris Evans as a GREAT villain.

Oh, God, pass me the cigarette.

We all knew from his work in the MCU that the man can act his fine America’s ass off, but boy, did I really like his role here. I compare it to Chris Hemsworth in the godawful movie Bad Times at the El Royale, because while that is one of the worst movies of the decade, it was extremely smart in casting Hemsworth in the villain role. Why? Because it sold the believable factor. Chris Hemsworth is so handsome and charismatic that he COULD in fact be a creepy ass cult leader. You take one look at that man’s chest and tell me you wouldn’t fight a smelly hippie to jump in his bed. Damn right I’d be in a Chris Hemsworth cult. Point being, Chris Evans as the handsome but cruel Hugh was phenomenal. I really enjoyed seeing everything unfold. He did such a great job. It’s all the more satisfying knowing that in real life, he’s the cutest, sweetest goofball on earth. I’m so delighted he took this role because he knocked it out of the park.

Which brings me to my next point.

I’m gonna be a basic fangirl bitch for a second here. Just hear me out.

I’d LOVE an alternate ending to this movie where Hugh didn’t do it.

I know, I know. That’s super basic and dumb and I know part of it is because I just wanted to like Hugh anyway, but it actually would be a great piece of storytelling if you changed the ending.

In this premise, Marta really did mix up the bottles and accidentally killed Harlan. Well, what I would change is that Hugh really did have a benevolent epiphany and he decides to come back to stick it to his shitass family and he figures out what Marta did and decides to help her so she’ll slip him his cut. Then the rest of the film is Hugh and Marta trying to cover the rest of their tracks so that Blanc doesn’t piece together Marta’s accidental crime. Over the course of helping her, Hugh gets to know her and they become friends, so by the time they pull it all off—mind you, I’m ambiguous in this AU, I’d be fine if the detective works it out but lets them cover it up or if they actually manage to just destroy all the evidence so he can’t convict her and he admits defeat—he’s now invested and doesn’t accept the money when she goes to pay him. Bonus points if he falls in love with her during the cover up. It’s not necessary, but I saw a couple little sparks, so I think it would be very cute if Hugh and Marta hooked up to protect each other from the horrible family and build their own empire together. But that’s me.

Trust me, this movie is brilliant as written. It doesn’t need that alternate ending. But I have to admit it got my mind churning about what a fantastic character arc it could be if Hugh hadn’t been the bad guy and he and Marta learned things about each other and formed a friendship. I’m a writer, it’s kind of a hobby, sorry. I hope I’m not the only one who thought that, but we’ll see.

I’m so glad I started 2020 with this film. It’s a rare gem. I can’t wait for it to get on DVD, because I am gonna snag it asap and watch it again. What a romp. It’s also gratifying in a petty way that J.J. Abrams went out of his way to undo Rian Johnson’s work in the Star Wars franchise and it’s backfiring majorly critically speaking meanwhile Knives Out is getting bomb ass good reviews, so good for you, Rian. Your revenge is at hand. #TEAMPETTY

I can’t recommend this hard enough. If you love murder mysteries or if you just love Clue-style quirky black comedy, please see Knives Out. It’s worth every red dime, to quote the movie.

Kyo out.

[langernameohnebedeutung]

Marvel ruined MCU with that pisspoor of a movie called Endgame. No quicksilver. At least Ronin was okay could have been better. But all of it was so lame and expected throughout the film.

(warning for those who want to avoid that: this rant includes a lot of negativity and you might want to skip it if that’s not how you want to start your day! Love y’all!)

I didn’t expect them to bring back Quicksilver because I’m pretty sure that he was only in AoU to be sacrificed on the altar of their copyright stand-off with Fox - so maybe they bring him back in the future or maybe introduce Speed, but Endgame is a mess, imo. 

Basically, I think it’s the lack of a complex plot that’s also choking the life out of the characters.

(Bear with me for a moment) The thing is, I come from a family that loves crime shows. My parents basically watch nothing else, maybe the occasional French comedy, but they wouldn’t be caught dead watching a superhero film. As a result, I’ve grown pretty weary of crime-shows at some point in my teenage years (because once you watched Monk, Castle, Mentalist, Lie to Me and all the others, you’ve pretty much seen every plot, every solution etc. at least twice.)

But lately, I’ve gotten back into it. I watched for example some Adler-Olsen films and went to see Knives Out with a friend, and that’s when I realised something about films like Endgame and why they don’t work:

A good police procedural is always plot-driven. You have a crime, you need to have witnesses who are connected by the plot, you have characters who solve it in a way that makes sense and that you can follow. In a good story, a plot-twist is actually that - a plot-twist. It has to be a moment where you say: "Ooooh yeaaah fuck that makes sense! God I love/hate it!” it’s not just someone dying or someone betraying someone out of nowhere. It needs a whole lot of fucking plot to make a good plot-twist. 

There are logical cornerstones in these stories and if any of them are missing, you end up with something season 4 of Sherlock. Now, a good crime show also has interesting characters that you can get invested in and whose motives affect the plot. A strong plot doesn’t mean you have no space for good characters. In fact, one thing I realised I enjoy about these stories is that because a lot of time is invested into the actual crime-story, you need more time to find out things about the characters and find answers to your questions.

And that’s basically the opposite of what films like Endgame did. Now, I don’t expect some Noir-film about the Avengers finding out who made half the universe disappear and interrogating witnesses who saw Thanos in the ballroom with the glove. My point is, that the challenge of making a film with such high stakes and so many characters is that it needs to have a plot at its core (one that can fill three fucking hours, no less), not jokes and probably an exact number of minutes of screen time every actor gets to say their line. This film is basically the cast holding their faces into the camera in a specific order.

Of course, the superhero genre has conventions on screen, but that doesn’t mean there can’t be a plot. The MCU-Netflix all implement many elements from crime-shows and that’s exactly why we get to know the characters so well. Because we can follow them and see them react to many unique situations. There are also MCU films who did pretty good jobs focusing on their plots: Winter Soldier is basically a spy thriller and we still learnt a lot about the way Steve lives - and it’s incorporated into the plot. We find out what’s going on, how it happend and why and the characters solve the problem. Another example is Black Panther, which is in many ways really set up like a crime or spy thriller: We have a flashback to the crime that caused it all first, we get to know our characters, the main-characters (and the audience) learn why and how Killmonger does it and we understand how he’s stopped. That’s the core of the story and anything else happens around it and is attached to the plot. T’Challa opening his country based on what he learnt in this film is a direct reaction to what he learnt about his his father and uncle and cousin. Captain America going back to live with Peggy after Infinity War/Endgame...does not. We knew he loves Peggy since the first Captain America and if he has the same goal, the same motivation and the same solution to his problem after all these years...that actually shows that you either don’t understand the characters (my explanation) or that you didn’t do anything with him. Except the two films since DID things with the character which Endgame ignored.

It’s something that I noticed happens a lot with sequels, in my opinion (Pirates of the Carribean comes to mind or, again, Sherlock season 4), and I can imagine people arguing: “We watch it for the characters, no one watches it for the plot.” And that’s fair and that can work but that brings me back to my dramatic opening statement: A smaller, contained plot actually says more about the characters. If your plot becomes nothing but a generic string of dramatic moments, your characters’ reactions become generic too. 

Your loved one dies: SCREAAAAMING! (or quiet sadness :/ ). 

Some big heroic moment? - everyone else stares open-mouthed :o  . 

The villain does a big bad thing: >:( 

DRAMAAATIC SPEECH!

Someone sacrifices themselves :(

- It’s boring. 

And the motivations also become boring. If the entire fucking universe is at stake, any differences or problems the characters have with each other begin to fade into the background (or become forced and awkward, like you know, humans arguing about climate-change). So either, you embrace the characters being comically chill about everything (like Thor: Ragnarök did and Guardians of the Galaxy, by making their characters hilariously relaxed about the end of the world) or all you end up doing is stringing bland dramatic moments together. You also have no space for interesting plot-twists anymore, because you can’t build up to them.

Either it’s: something very horrible happens (everyone is shocked) or someone betrays someone (everyone is shocked). My point is, the lack of a complex plot leads to a lack of interesting characters in plot-driven fiction and that’s what Endgame ran into like it’s the end of a marathon.

There is this one really cringe-worthy scene (that they had the sense to cut) where everyone (no matter if it makes sense for the character’s story or backstory or is in keeping with their personality) kneels for Tony’s dead body. Now, this isn’t also awkward, but it also waters down any meaning it has for the characters for whom it makes sense to kneel in that moment. It really goes to show how empty this bitch of a film is.

And that really drives the point home for me (but they kept it up by giving him a huge funeral and adding just a few lines about Natascha’s death). Now, this is not to say that Tony doesn’t deserve having his sacrifice or his actions appreciated on-screen or anything, but it shows that this film is basically a zoo where you get to gawk at the characters, not a story in which they appear. The kneeling-scene is not about Tony’s sacrifice or about who he was. It’s about The DRama! of these scenes. It says nothing about the characters. It says nothing about Tony. It says nothing about Thanos’ crimes. It says nothing about the plot. It’s lazy, but they couldn’t do much else because they didn’t build up to anything more meaningful than kneeling or a funeral to showcase the other character’s sadness and admiration. They can’t focus on any meaningful elements from the plot, on developments in personal relationships - because they didn’t do any of that and ignore any that happened. Everyone is just a sad backstory and 3 jokes in a trench-coat and there is no room for them to grow or develop or form or change opinions in a meaningful capacity. Because a plot won’t allow it.

And here’s the thing: I would have preferred to wait two or three more years for this resolution and get a good answer to the open questions. But it’s all about money, contracts and copyright and not storytelling and that makes it bland.

end of rant :)))

[andorerso]

yaaaaaaay prompts!! Can I ask for 83 and/or 5!! (possibly featuring a grumpy Cassian??)

Thanks for the prompts :) I combined 83 and 5, and you’ll have your grumpy Cassian too.

For this one, I decided to do a modern bodyguard AU. Enjoy!

“You haven’t even touched yourfood,” Jyn said as she put down her spoon. Cassian was merely stirring theplate in front of him; she’d been watching for a while and she had enough. “What’sgoing on?”

“This isn’t food,” Cassian said in the same sourtone she’d grown used to in the past couple of weeks. “And just because you putit in a plate doesn’t make it food.”

Jyn withheld a sigh. They hadthis debate before; she knew how it started, she knew the arguments, and sheknew the closing lines. She knew they’d fight and she’d win and they’d saynothing they hadn’t already said before but she prepared to have this discussionanyway. Because it was the only way to get through Cassian’s thick skull whenhe got like this and she needed him to do what she said because she needed himto be okay.

“Cassian –”

“Come on, Jyn,” he interruptedher, pushing his plate away from him, “I’m sick of freaking yogurt andpudding!”

“Most kids would happy to liveon a pudding diet.” She gave him a pointed look. “And you’re definitely actinglike a kid right now.”

Cassian did not appreciate thatdig at him. His expression remained unamused and Jyn sighed.

“I know you’re sick of it. Andyou know what the doctor said. You can’t eat solids, only liquids untilThursday.”

Cassian threw his hands up inthe air, staring at the ceiling as if asking for divine intervention.

“This is madness.”

Jyn rolled her eyes. Who knewhe could be so dramatic?

“It’s for your own good.”

“So you keep saying.”

“Well, it’s true.”

Jyn picked up her spoon,preparing to ignore his temper tantrum. Nevermind that she was also only eatingliquids out of solidarity. It didn’t seem to appease him. Cassian was adifficult patient, she had realized, and as much as it frustrated her, it waskind of reassuring to know even he could lose his calm and steady composure.

“Why are you doing this?” heasked, crossing his arms across his chest. There was a meanness in his voice thatJyn knew meant trouble. They had some nasty fights when he used that tone. Sheheld her spoon tighter, steeling herself. “This is not in your jobdescription.”

Jyn knew that very well. Evenshe had to remind herself sometimes that she was just a bodyguard, not hispersonal nurse. But she cared about him, even though she didn’t know how to saythat. She wanted to take care of him because he was important to her, not out ofsome sense of duty.

Though, she supposed, Cassianwouldn’t know that. Maybe that was what bothered him.

“You’re paying me to protectyou,” she said simply. He was trying to get a rise out of her so she’d get upand walk away and he’d be free to do whatever he wanted. She was not taking thebait.

“Well, I’m not paying you to bemy babysitter,” he countered, his voice cold. “I don’t need you to coddle me.”

“Then don’t act like a baby,”she snapped at him. Despite her best efforts, she was on edge and he knew it.He knew just how to push her buttons and a small part of her resented him forit. How did they get to know each other so well?

Cassian sighed as he leanedback in his chair, watching her with an annoyed expression.

“You can go, you know. Yourshift has ended.”

Jyn said nothing, continuing toeat her yogurt. She attempted to block him out as best as she could.

“Seriously, why do you alwaysstay? You don’t get paid for these extra hours.”

“It’s not about money,” shesaid curtly.

“Isn’t it? Last I checked, moneywas the foundation of our relationship.”

Jyn’s spoon clattered to thetable as she pushed her chair back and stood. If he wanted her gone so badly –

She tried not to let it showhow deep his words cut her as she stormed towards the door, grabbing her bagfrom the hanger. Cassian’s eyes followed her like a hawk, burning a hole intoher back.

That son of a bitch. Jyn knewhe was just trying to get her to leave but it didn’t hurt any less. Especiallybecause he was right. Their lines had been blurry for a long time, but he wasright – this was a job. He was a client. You never get attached to a client.But she did and she would be paying the price for it.

Once she was done here, she’dnever see him again. She’d been dreading that thought for a while now, eversince she realized what he meant to her. To hear him speak about it socasually, to hear him dismiss their relationship as motivated only by money… itwas a slap in the face. He was getting what he wanted, she was leaving. She neededto cool off and –

He was getting what he wanted. Dammit.

With the same breath, sheturned back. No, he was not getting off the hook so easily. She’d make sure he’dstick to his diet if it was the last thing she did. So he expected her toabandon him because of a few harsh words, well, she’d prove him wrong.

“I’m not going anywhere,” shetold him, catching his eyes. He looked shocked, staring up at her. “You’regoing to eat your yogurt and I’m going to watch. But we don’t have to talk. Ifyou’re going to be an asshole, we can just sit here in silence.”

With that, she sat down and duginto her yogurt again. Cassian stared at her in silence for a few seconds, butshe refused to look at him. She was still pissed as hell, but she cared abouthis stupid health too much to just up and leave. Stupid bastard. She kept hereyes on her plate, and after a while, he picked up his spoon and began eating.

They were quiet as theyfinished their meal. When he was done, he sat unmoving, looking down at hisempty plate for a long while. The air between them was fraught with tension butJyn wasn’t going to speak. When she glanced at him, she could tell he wasworking up the nerve to say something so she waited patiently.

“Jyn,” he said eventually, hisvoice tentative.

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry.”

Jyn raised her eyes to him. Helooked pitiful and the ice in her heart melted. It was stupid how fast he couldmake her forgive him – just as fast as he could make her angry. No one ever hadsuch an effect on her before. But she knew how much he’d been struggling, andshe couldn’t help taking pity on him.

Still, she wanted to make himwork for it a little.

“You’re an ugly patient,” shetold him crossly.

He shrugged. “I’m not used topeople caring for me.”

And that was true. Jyn knew he losthis family as a child, and his closest friend seemed to be a guy who was morerobot than human. Kay had the best intentions, she was sure, but he didn’t showaffection like most people did. Like she knew Cassian secretly craved it. Nowonder he was so reserved.

“But I do, you know.” Sheswallowed. “Care for you.”

“I know,” he said, his voicebarely a whisper. It felt like something between them tipped over and spilled,and she found herself continuing.

“I know I’m annoying you andyou have every right to resent me.”

“Jyn,” he said, just that one word so full of intention. He wasalready comforting her. But she shook her head, too far gone to listen to hisreassurances.

“You got shot. On my watch.It’s my duty to make sure you’re alright.”

So maybe he had every right tobe angry with her. It was her job to protect him and she didn’t. She failed himand he almost bled out in her arms and he required multiple surgeries to repairthe damage done to his abdomen. Even now, when he was mostly out of the woods,he could only eat liquids and it was not fair. If that was what it took to makesure he had a full recovery, she’d stick to it, but it was not fair to him. It hadbeen her mistake.

Cassian stood up and came tosit by her side, taking one of her hands. She couldn’t look at him. Tearsprickled at her eyes and she didn’t want him to see it – she was supposed to bethe strong one. The protector. But Jyn had been holding this in for weeks andit was inevitable the dam finally broke.

“Jyn, you can’t blameyourself,” he told her gently, but she wouldn’t hear it.

“Yes, I can. I was supposed toprotect you, that’s literally my job.What kind of bodyguard lets their client get shot? You should have fired me.”

“Don’t be silly, you’re anamazing bodyguard.”

Empty words. Jyn knew Cassianmeant them but what did it matter if she couldn’t believe it herself?

She stared resolutely ahead,ignoring the warm pressure of his hand on top of hers. Cassian paused, seeingthat he wasn’t getting through her, and switching to a different tactic. Whenhe spoke again, his voice was careful but fuller of emotion that she had everheard it.

“Jyn, you sat with me at thehospital every day. Even when I was unconscious, you were there. You were thefirst face I saw when I woke up and you sat through every single one of mysurgeries. You held my hand when I began to walk again and you brought me homefrom the hospital and watched over me day and night, far beyond your workinghours.”

He paused, squeezing her hand. Shewas scarcely breathing; the look in his eyes was mesmerizing.

“And you make sure I keep to mydiet even when I hate you for it,” he continued, quieter. Gentle. “I couldn’task for a better bodyguard.”

She let out a sound betweenlaughter and a sob.

“Even though you’re sick of theyogurt and pudding?”

Cassian shook his head. “I wasjust being a whiny jackass, it won’t kill me to eat yogurt for a few weeks.Besides, my diet is almost over.” He perked up, an idea lighting in his eyes. “Tellyou what, when I can finally eat solids, I’ll make you some chilaquiles tocelebrate. We’ll watch a movie or something. How does that sound?”

Jyn nodded, smiling through hertears. Apparently, Cassian also had a talent for cheering her up.

Satisfied with her response,Cassian let go of her hand and stood up to collect their plates. She watchedhim walk to the sink, heart squeezing. Her hand felt cold without his warmthcovering it. Jyn inhaled softly. She was in so much trouble.

[princess-of-the-corner]

As a joke, I spent time categorizing the Akumas from Season 1 of Miraculous Ladybug of how ‘Valid’ the reason for their Akumatization was. Obvs Hawkmoth is the only one to blame but still. I only did Season 1 because I haven’t really watched more than the beginning of Season 2, and I can’t always get context from the episode synopsis. 

Simple version: 

 Very Valid: The Bubbler, The Pharaoh, Chronogirl, Evillustrator, Dark Cupid, Horrificator, The Mime, Kung Food, Vanisher, Antibug, Puppeteer, Reflekta, Guitar Villain, Stoneheart, Bad Santa(I remember him being called ‘Bother Christmas’ but the wiki says ‘Santa Claws’)

Your emotions are valid, but this is a bit much Stormy Weather, Mr. Pigeon, Darkblade, Gamer

Bruh what the fuck:  Animan, Simon Says, Copycat

You brought this on your own damn self: Lady Wifi, Rogercop, Pixelator, Princess Fragrance Volpina

Long Version: 

Stormy Weather: 

Lost a contest to be the weather forecaster. Of course she’s upset, but hey, someone has to lose. 

Your emotions are valid, but this is a bit much (this whole category is basically for those upset at losing a contest)

The Bubbler

Nino just wanted to give his friend a birthday party, but Gabriel is a Dick. 

Very Valid

The Pharaoh

Jalil was just ‘hey, this ancient artifact might be a magic spell? We live in a world of magic superheroes, so maybe it could work? How about we test it out?’, but his dad’s all ‘That’d be a waste of time and misuse of a valuable artifact’. 

How’d you feel if you have an idea that’s not only cool but potentially groundbreaking for your field of work, but your dad says ‘no that’s dumb and you’re dumb for thinking it’?

Very Valid

Lady Wifi

I still have no idea how Alya thought Chloé could be Ladybug as they’ve been seen together a lot(also you have Chloé in class with her while Ladybug is out fighting an Akuma), so that was dumb mistake #1. 

But she decided to break into Chloé’s locker and rifle through her stuff and even take pictures for ‘evidence’. Like, people blame Chloé for this, but if I found someone I barely know going through my locker and all up in my personal stuff, I’d probably insist on not only school punishment, but also drag in the cops to investigate if there’s been more stuff stolen from lockers recently, or if this girl is some stalker trying to steal my underwear or something. 

You brought this on your own damn self

Chronogirl

an important and honestly really cool family heirloom she’s had for maybe half an hour is destroyed because Alya, Nino, Marinette and Adrien don’t have enough collective brainpower to think ‘a Pocket Watch can be held in a Pocket!!’

Very Valid

Mr. Pigeon

I understand his love for pigeons, but having a large flock on call to the local park is a problem. Dude needs some help. 

Your emotions are valid, but this is a bit much

Evillustrator

While he shouldn’t have been drawing in class, his teacher was a bitch. She berates him loudly in front of the class, tells him(and everyone else) that this is why he’s failing science, insults his artwork and overall calls his passion worthless. 

He loses some Validity Points for attacking Chloé instead of the teacher. Like, yeah, Chloé teased him about a crush, but she had nothing to do with why/how he got Akumatized, so he really should’ve drawn up something to punch the teacher. However, we’re judging the reason they got Akumatized, not what they did with that power. 

Very Valid

Rogercop

Man should’ve just done his damn job. Chloé’s bracelet was missing, possibly stolen. Instead of looking into it he just gets all condescending with ‘are you sure you didn’t just miss it when you looked?’. 

Like, okay, when Chloé accuses Marinette of stealing the bracelet he can’t just arrest her without proof. That’s fair. However! An expensive bracelet has gone missing and is possibly stolen, but since no one has left it must still be in the room. He should’ve at least done a basic bag check. (also, while we now she’s innocent, Marinette is a likely suspect as she had both motive and opportunity). 

You brought this on your own damn self. 

Copycat

This guy has some minor hero-crush on Ladybug. Like, while Chat did play up his relationship with her to scare him off, he doesn’t have the right to be upset about Ladybug being in a relationship with someone else. This is on the level of having a crush on a celebrity and sending hatemail to the celebrity's partner because ‘you don’t deserve them’. 

Only things that stop him from being in the ‘you brought this on your own damn self’ category is that 1. Chat did play up the relationship(depending on the translation he either just implied it out outright lied but whatever) and 2. it’s understandable to be kinda sad about it, but not to this level. 

Bruh what the fuck

Dark Cupid

Kim got rejected by his crush on Valentine’s Day. Heartbreak isvery understandable. 

His reason is 90% valid, but he does lose points since, well, what was Chloé supposed to do? Sure, she could’ve been nicer, but she still doesn’t like him back so he would’ve been heartbroken anyway. Only way to avoid this would be for her to say yes to dating him, but ‘I’m saying yes to your advances because I don’t want you to go evil’ is kinda, uh, fucked up. 

Very Valid

Horrificator

She is scared! Leave her alone!

Some Valid Points are lost because I have to ask ‘if you’re so easily frightened why are you playing the lead in a horror movie where you knew going into it that you’d get too scared to actually act?’, but  I’m going to assume that she figured her fear wouldn’t be that bad when she knows exactly when the scare is coming and can see the ‘film crew’ in her peripheral vision, but just overestimated herself. So leave her alone!

Very Valid

Darkblade

He lost the Mayoral election and the reporters are bugging him about it. Understandable, but also, like, my dude you’re in politics. You gotta know that this’l happen.  

Your emotions are valid, but this is a bit much

The Mime

His coworker sabotaged him to take his place in the show. Hell yeah are you gonna be upset!

Very Valid

Kung Food

While it does fit with other ‘losing the contest’ categories, he lost due to sabotage. 

Very Valid

Gamer

Max lost a game tournament. Or, lost the tournament to be in the tournament. While I will call Marinette out on her reason for entering the competition, she didn’t cheat to win or anything. She and Adrien are just better at the game, and Max was upset about that. 

Your emotions are valid, but this is a bit much

Animan

Local zookeeper gets upset because... some dumbass teenager is saying ‘if I had to race a panther I totally could!’??? Like, yeah, Kim is wrong about being able to outrun a panther. But why is this something to get upset about? I’d just roll my eyes and ignore it? 

Bruh what the fuck

Vanisher

Fighting with close friends, especially fights that break the friendship, suck. 

Very Valid

Antibug

She felt betrayed by her Hero. Chloé adores Ladybug, has tried to be helpful to her(even if it doesn’t really work). When she overhears Ladybug tell Chat what she really thinks about Chloé, that she’s just a liar not worth listening to, it crushes her. 

Very Valid. 

Puppeteer

Her mom’s kind of a bitch. Like, Marinette made a bunch of dolls for Manon to play with, but her mom’s like ‘no you already have too many toys’. Who says that to a kid? Like, if the kid was begging for an expensive new toy then sure, but a free gift that’s already there? Why turn it down???

When Marinette gives Manon one of the dolls anyway, her mom accuses the kid of stealing it, then confiscates the doll and says she’ll be punished for it. As she didn’t steal it, she’s extra upset that she’s being punished for something she didn’t do. 

Very Valid

Reflekta

Not only does Juleka have an ongoing issue with being photographed, but Chloé decides to be a bit bitchy about it. 

Very Valid. 

Guitar Villain

You have Jagged Stone, an awesome rock and roll star, but his manager says ‘hey, if you want to be relevant and keep making money, be more like this teen pop star!’. Said teen pop star then proceeds to insult Jagged’s entire existence and love for music. Boy’s lucky Jagged got Akumatized instead of just marching down to the news station and kicking his ass. 

Extra awesome points for not only having a pet crocodile, but having the crocodile become a freaking Dragon!

Very Valid

Pixelatior

Creepy paparazzi stalker dude gets called out and then kicked out, yet instead of doing some self-reflection and realizing how fucked he is, he gets Akumatized instead. 

You brought this on your own damn self.

Princess Fragrance

Rose, you’re sweet and I love you but this is not your best moment. Don’t spray strong perfume in the middle of class, especially science class. And this entire plan hinged on asking Chloé to deliver the letter? I know you want to believe the best in everyone, I do too. But even as someone who loves Chloé and would have written her being nicer there, that was a dumb thing to plan on as the only route. Just put the letter in the mail.

I really want to be nice to Rose, but this was a dumb plan, and I might be a bit biased about her spraying a bunch of strong perfume in the middle of science class because if I was there I would’ve been dying. 

You brought this on your own damn self. 

Simon Says

Honestly this is the Gameshow’s fault. Gabriel wasn’t even really being a dick about it. A bit hypocritical, but not a dick. 

Like, you have a gameshow where they get a random Important Person on video camera to challenge a contestant? The hypnotist gets paired with a video call to Gabriel Agreste, and they’re like ‘hey dude, this guy’s gonna try to hypnotize you and you have to resist’. Gabriel’s just like ‘fuck no. I don’t want to do that goodbye.’, which counts as a disqualification? The people running that gameshow should’ve either planned in advance to get someone willing to be hypnotized, or they should’ve gone for calling the next on the list until someone agrees to play. 

While the hypnotist is right to be upset, that gameshow is a fucking train wreck and he should be mad at them instead of the dude who didn’t want to be hypnotized. 

Bruh what the fuck

Volpina

Girl lies for attention, tries to manipulate a boy into a relationship(which is dubious consent at best), and then gets upset when someone calls her out on it. Bitch. 

You brought this on your own damn self

Stoneheart

First time he was being taunted by his crush. Second time is because people are (understandably) worried about if he’s going to turn into a rock monster again. 

Very Valid

‘Bother Christmas’/Santa Claws/Pire Noël

Santa kindly gives a kid a ride home, because Adrien decided to hang out in the snow without even a jacket. Next thing he knows, Ladybug’s trying to kick his ass. I’d be upset too. 

Very Valid

[novamelt]

CONNECTIONS ARE WANTED !

   beneath the cut i have all of my muses, a lil’ description of them, & the    connections i need for them. please do not be shy if you feel like you    would like to fill one of these connections. feel free to ask questions if    need be.

ANY CONNECTION BOLDEDIS HIGHLY REQUESTED.

ANY CONNECTION ITALICIZED ARE MUSES I WANT CONNECTIONS FOR BUT HAVE LITTLE/TO NO IDEAS FOR.

synopsis: abby is the head of a russian cult. she’s more money motivated than loyalty motivated.  --  adult, pansexual.

FRIEND FROM HOME: this person would have to be russian. most likely sent from her family to keep a close eye out on her. 

LOYALIST: someone who is very head over heels for abby. maybe was manipulated this way. does a lot of her dirty work.

synopsis: aimee is a high school student. she doesn’t quite fit in to any crowd. she’s down to earth & very in touch with herself. -- teenager, pansexual.

GIRLFRIEND: aimee is trying to explore all of the possibilities her sexuality has to offer, but she would keep this girl a secret.

synopsis: alek is a construction worker. he doesn’t like his job, or anything really. he’s a very grumpy man, who enjoys liquor and solitude. -- adult, heterosexual.

SOFT BABY LOVER: this girl would be the opposite of him. someone gentle, sweet, caring. basically a girl willing to suffer to fix him.

synopsis: annalise is a high school student. she’s your local dungeon master & arcade dweller, despite not wanting to be, -- teenager, pansexual.

BEST FRIEND: this person would also be a fellow nerd. most likely very in touch with her family, plays d&d with them. can be any gender. 

WANNA BE FRIEND: this person would most likely be a cheerleader, but a popular kid for sure. ana would pursue them, try to please them - anything to try and make a break away into a popular crowd.

synopsis: anthony is part of a russian cult. he was sent to the american operations to watch over his sister, who they put in charge,. he’s very well mannered, and reclusive. -- adult, pansexual.

HIDDEN LOVER: the american operations is about abby, not himself. so any romance he found he would keep hidden and restricted.

synopsis: apollo is part of a russian cult. he’s stealthy, which you wouldn’t guess by just how goofy and laid back he is. -- adult, pansexual.

BUDDY: apollo is a good time and is very charismatic. he could easily make a fellow trouble maker his pal, and they could go around causing little bits of mayhem together.

synopsis: barker is a comedian. he’s very anxious and doubtful of himself, but hides it behind jokes. -- adult, pansexual.

SIGNIFICANT OTHER: barker just needs someone to comfort him, support him, and help him along his journey. this person can be any gender, but must enjoy puns.

synopsis: basketcase was recruited into a gang of psychopaths not very long ago. her loyalties are scattered. she’s quite the thief, too. -- adult, homosexual.

GIRLFRIEND: this would be an incredibly toxic relationship. basketcase is likely to be abusive, always wanting her way, and incredibly jealous. a girlfriend who is either soft and submits or a girlfriend who is just as feisty are equally good options.

synopsis: bernard works at a smoothie stand. he’s trying to get his life together, but he finds it hard since he lets everyone walk over him all the time. he’s a huge sweetiepie. -- adult, pansexual.

CO-WORKER: this person is just someone who also works at the smoothie stand. they would spend a lot of time together and be buds outside of work. probably one of bee’s only friends.

CRUSH: bee isn’t very good with his words or feelings, despite having a lot of them. even if the crush is requited, which it doesn’t have to be, he would be very shy and also scared to ruin a friendship.

synopsis: blaine is a survivor of a zombie outbreak. he’s on the search for his last remaining family member: his younger brother. blaine may be unrelenting but he’s also not lost touch with his morals in this world. -- adult, pansexual.

FELLOW SURVIVOR: this person could be of any type of personality. just someone who would have his back, and he would have theirs. someone willing to entertain the idea that his brother is still alive, despite the odds.

synopsis: blaire is a college student. she lives in her own little apartment, and has a book published. she’s minorly famous, in fact. -- adult, homosexual.

LONG DISTANCE GIRLFRIEND: this girlfriend would be someone who loved to read, or at least was book - smart. this girl would be soon moving a cross country to move in with blaire at her apartment, too. a very serious, steady relationship.

synopsis: buddy is your average loser. likes games, being by himself, and oh yeah, is a well known streamer under an alias. for someone who is so shy and unspoken, he has an incredible streaming persona! -- teenager, pansexual.

BEST FRIEND: buddy has a lot of love to give. this person would have been his friend since kindergarten, very close pals. plays video games, goes for bike rides, the whole nine yards. 

synopsis: canston is a rich man, but a charitable one. he’s kind hearted, naive, and very forgiving.

SUGGESTIONS/IDEAS?

synopsis: castor dooms is a police officer. he’s always wanted to be. worked his butt off to get to this point in his life. he has a hard time juggling work and home, though. -- adult, heterosexual.

FIANCE: this woman would be the girl of his dreams. probably an introverted girl who likes to dance, makes good breakfast foods, and forces him to watch sappy movies. their relationship would go under many strains as castor tries to figure out how to balance work and home. could even be pregnant. 

CO - WORKER: this would be a fellow police officer he would be buddies with. probably his partner that he does paroles with. knows what kinda donuts they like, all the good cop stuff.

synopsis: collins is a librarian. he may be quiet, but he has a lot of attitude. and a lot of knowledge. he’s your book smart, sassy man. -- adult, homosexual.

SUGGESTIONS/IDEAS? 

synopsis: colton is a high school student. he loves the water, fishing, and especially boats. he even designs his own. he can be introverted. -- teenager, pansexual.

SUGGESTIONS/IDEAS?

synopsis: daniel is a high school student. he survived a jigsaw trap, and lost his father in a very short amount of time. he’s very touchy, incredibly unstable, and quite the mess. -- teenager, heterosexual.

CLOSE FRIEND: this person would’ve known daniel before the saw trap, and would maybe even have disdain for the daniel that came out. nevertheless, this person would be caring and try to spend a lot of time with him.

synopsis: deacon temple is a gym over. he’s a german meathead, very inspired to work out and be the best him. he has far too much energy and just assumes everyone else does, too. -- adult, pansexual.

WORK OUT PARTNER: this person would be a gym regular that deacon took a liking too. they can work out together, be close buddies, and maybe even have a romance.

LAZY PAL: this person would be a couch potato, and deacon is set in his way to try and fix this! he loves this person to death, maybe has known them for a long time, and wants to see them be a healthy, fit, gym loving person like he is.

synopsis: delilah is a runaway. she has escaped a town where her family is essentially the mafia there. she is a wanted woman, especially since her father has never stopped his pursuit for her. -- adult, pansexual.

SPY: this person would be sent from her father, and has found her. but as the movies go, the two have fallen for each other, and delilah is unaware why this person truly came into her life.

synopsis: denver is a divorced single parent who owns a bakery. much like that title, he’s a lot to handle. he’s rather emotional and caught up in his own world, despite how much he wants to be there for other people. -- adult, pansexual.

GIRLFRIEND: this person would have to love kids, and maybe have a few of her own. he would try too desperately to make things work, probably be incredibly clingy and overbearing. she may either love this or hate this,

synopsis: dixie is a famous streamer. she’s very goal oriented and at times self absorbed. she can be very loving, but does love her social media. -- adult, pansexual.

RIVAL: this person can be someone she hates, but keeps a good face on for the media. they do streams together, attend cons together, the whole thing. but they actually hate each other!

synopsis: elliot jordon is a survivor of a zombie outbreak. he’s a previous boyscout who has survived this long by tooth and nail. he’s a hardass and not a very nice boy anymore. -- teenager, pansexual.

SUGGESTIONS/IDEAS?

synopsis: grayson is the sheriff’s son. he’s in training to also be a police officer. he’s clumsy, too caring, and just an overall good guy. he doesn’t often see the bad in people. -- adult, pansexual.

SUGGESTIONS/IDEAS? 

synopsis: jessica is a high school student. she’s a dick. not very nice to anyone, really. that bitch. but she can be incredibly funny, throws good darts, and has a car, so you can say she’s well liked. -- teenager, heterosexual.

BOYFRIEND: this boy would probably be the stoner type. jess would probably like to keep him hidden, especially from her friendgroup. they probably wouldn’t often get a long, but when they do, it’s like fireworks!

synopsis: lynn denlon is a doctor. she survived a jigsaw trap but lost her entire family in the process. she still is in grief, and can’t seem to get over it. she struggles in everyday life. -- adult, heterosexual.

BOYFRIEND: this would be someone she probably met at the hospital. someone who likely has children, and is very emotionally strong. someone she feels like she can depend on.

synopsis: mitchell is a high school student. he lost all of his friends in a horrible, deemed freak, accident. he’s incredibly wounded, spends a lot of his time with music and alone . -- teenager, heterosexual.

CLOSE FRIEND: this person would be someone that maybe even knew his previous friend group well. someone who would try to help mitch recover, or at the very least, move on a little.

synopsis: riley is a ceo. she fought her way to the position for the recognition of her parents, but stayed for the money. she’s become a greedy woman ever since. -- adult, pansexual.

SUGAR BABY: this person would be someone in need of money, but with a lot of time on their hands. someone willing to do what riley says, and she’s quite a bossy lady, for some money.

synopsis: randy, rumble, boons is a famous race car driver. but he’s a hopeless romantic who wants to get married and have a domestic life. it’s a stark contrast, the two things, but he doesn’t mind. -- adult, pansexual.

SIGNIFICANT OTHER: this person would be terrified of rumble’s career as a racecar driver. they would be in a long term, serious relationship. this would cause for a lot of bumps in the road.

synopsis: samuel beans is a high school student. he sells drugs on the side. he wears sunglasses indoors because he’s either high or has a bruise to wear from his father. he’s incredibly cocky, oftentimes rude. -- teenager, heterosexual.

SUGGESTIONS/IDEAS?

synopsis: sarah lost her parents when her younger brothers were only children. she had to assume the parenting role. this has shaped her into a responsible woman, but it keeps her wound rather tight. -- adult, pansexual.

BOYFRIEND: this boyfriend would oftentimes go neglected, since her brothers come first. this could be a challenge to overcome and cause for issues in the relationship. probably with someone shes known for a long time, so they have motivation to make it work.

synopsis: thomas bones is a single dad. he lost his first wife to disease, and has raised his son on his own. he’s very lost, confused, and in need of love and help at all times. -- adult, heterosexual.

GIRLFRIEND: this woman would have to like kids, or even better if she has some. someone who he can spend a lot of time with and doesn’t mind his quickness into a relationship.

synopsis: valerie is a high school student. she may be popular, but she isn’t well liked. probably because she’s a right bitch. -- teenager, heterosexual.

BFF: this person would probably also be a bitch. they can be bitches together, going to parties, sleep overs, and just trying to fuck up peoples lives.

FOLLOWER: this person would be new to school/a very soft, tiny individual. someone who is easily manipulated by val. a very toxic friendship.

[baddestrin]

DAILY EVENT #2 IN-DEPTH ABOUT

GENDER: Female AGE: 27 (26 International) BIRTHDAY: February 26th 1991 HEIGHT: 163cm. 5′3″  EYE COLOR: Brown

SKIN COLOR: Naturally light, sometimes darker from tanning either sunbathing or spraytanning. BUILD: Short, toned and curvy. MARKINGS: 

TATTOOS: Currently she has three known tattoos. (1, 2) a star behind her ear, (1) the eye of horus on the left side of her ribcage, (1, 2) possibly horus in hawk form on her wrist in white ink.

SCARS: No notable scars.

PIERCINGS: 2 in her left ear. 1 in the right.

BEAUTY MARK: She has many beauty marks, but the most stand out ones is the one right below her lips and one on her chest. The one on her face is natural, but had been covered up with makeup for years now instead she darkens it with makeup and has made it a part of her look.

DEFAULT EXPRESSION: SMILE / FROWN / WORRY / DREAMY / TIRED / SOLEMN

Can get lost in daydreams and look dreamy or drift out of focus. She has a little bit of resting bitch face when wearing full makeup, but smiles a lot and is mostly smiling when talking to others. Recently she’s been known to look a little tired and worn out from lack of sleep.

NEEDS: none.

CONDITIONS: none.

DYING      1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10     HEALTHY

ALL THINGS MENTAL

CONDITIONS: none. MOTIVATION: To follow her dreams above all, secondly to not disappoint her fans or everyone who wants her to succeed.  FEAR: Disappointing those that believe in her. Having a life that she isn’t happy with and missing out on things like being a mother and wife because of the path she’s on.. Also bugs. ASSET: Her confidence in herself and ability to not be affected by bad opinions and comments about herself. Overall she’s hardworking and her motivation and enthusiasm for what she does drive her to keep pushing herself creatively. Her ability to talk to and connect with people from a variety of different backgrounds and overall openness lets her make friends fast. If she had a connection with someone she can joke and be affectionate with them easily.. It isn’t hard to make her laugh and in her best moods she can be softhearted and sweet. As a person she’s very independent and doesn’t need anyone to assure her or help her through things. She strongly believes in herself and what she can accomplish. FLAW: She can easily become unfocused if she doesn’t like what she’s doing and can seem a little absentminded if she’s not engaged. It’s harder for her to open up emotionally to people so she can be cold and close down completely if they try to push. She thinks it’s better to keep her problems to herself and find a way to deal with them on her own, so any sort of negative feelings are ones she tries to escape from or hide entirely. This is a particularly toxic to herself way to deal with things and eventually everything she’s pushed inside comes out all at once and she becomes very emotionally unstable and moody. Accepting any kind of help is hard for her and takes a lot of effort on someone else’s part to try to help her or even be able to see she needs it.  OBLIVIOUS      1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10     PERCEPTIVE DULL      1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10     CREATIVE LAZY      1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10     DISCIPLINED ILLITERATE      1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10     INTELLECTUAL DROP OUT      1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10     VALEDICTORIAN WEAK      1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10     STRONG HOW WELL DO THEY KNOW THEMSELVES?     1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10    

PERSONALITY

ONE WORD TO SUM THEM UP: strong-willed TEMPERAMENT: A bit moody, she shifts between strong emotions and moods quickly. HOW CONFIDENT ARE THEY?:       1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10     MODEST     1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10     ARROGANT SINNER     1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10     SAINT CLIFF FACE       1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10     JOKER SHAMEFUL     1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10     SHAMELESS COLD       1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10     AFFECTIONATE PASSIVE     1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10     AGGRESSIVE INTROVERT       1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10     EXTROVERT CHASTE       1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10     FLIRT CONSISTENT      1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10     ERRATIC GROUNDED      1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10     DISPERSE ISOLATED      1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10     FRIENDLY DISLOYAL      1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10     DEPENDABLE

INTERESTS

HOBBIES: Painting, drawing, anything having to do with fashion. IDEAL CAREER PATH: Continuing to make music and perform for as long as she can. ACADEMIC INCLINATION: She enjoyed being  student and would have gone to university, but dropped out of highschool in her junior year in favor of focusing on being a yg trainee. TRAVELING?: LOVE / LIKE / NEUTRAL / DISLIKE DATING?: LOVE / LIKE / NEUTRAL / DISLIKE PARTYING?: LOVE / LIKE / NEUTRAL / DISLIKE READING?: LOVE / LIKE / NEUTRAL / DISLIKE

INTERPERSONAL

CLOSE FRIEND(S): Her sister Harin is considered to be one of her best friends. She’s close with the former members of 2NE1 still, especially Dara. G-Dragon and Taeyang of BIGBANG are close friends that she’s often seen hanging around with. This muse is also very close with Seungri. In addition some of her best friends are stylists and models like Soojoo, Xin, Ahreum Ahn and Jesse Jo Stark.

ACQUAINTANCE(S): She has too many to list. She knows a variety of people in music and fashion throughout Korea, America and Japan.

LIVE FAMILY: Mother, Father, sister. Her aunt owns an art gallery. Beyond this she has a large family she’s close with. DECEASED FAMILY: n/a

BACKGROUND

SOCIAL CLASS: LOW / MIDDLE / HIGH GUARDIANS: Mother & Father CHILDHOOD: Her father’s a physics professor and her mother makes pottery so she grew up in a very creative atmosphere. They didn’t have a TV and would instead listen to music and draw. From early on her family moved out of Korea bouncing between Japan and France and her grandmother’s house in Korea in the summers. Her dad liked for them to travel and see the world so they didn’t stay in the same place very often. It wasn’t until she returned to Korea to become a YG trainee that she got a formal education in Korean, but instead spoke and wrote in Korean with her family wherever they were. Overall, her family was very well off, but she was taught to be independent either with her money or with her problems and be able deal with whatever life threw at her.  TRUAMA(S): Sudden disbandment of 2NE1. End of long term relationship.. OVER IT ? Both left her feeling powerless and depressed by her inability to change what happened. She’s still a little more wary about being sure about how long things will stay in her life. She often feels unstable and sad still, but has gradually become more hopeful and focused on her solo album. INFLUENTIAL PEOPLE: Her parents, Lauryn Hill, Teddy. 

TASTES

GENRE: Hip hop, R&B, Pop. SNACK: Gummy bears. COFFEE: Americano. FAVORITE FOOD: Fruit, especially watermelon, strawberries or peaches. FAVORITE COLOR: Black & White.

IMPRESSION

GENERAL STYLE: Fashionable. She puts a lot of effort into her looks, but usually goes with what she’s feeling for the day. Whatever she’s wearing it looks expensive.  UNLIKABLE      1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10     LIKABLE UNKEMPT      1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10     METICULOUS HANDSHAKE: Warm. Not too soft, not too firm. POSTURE: Good, but relaxed. LOOK: Polished, there’s effort put into whatever she’s wearing.  OVERALL PRESENCE: Her presence is confident and bright. One that draws attention, she doesn’t fade to the back too easily. 

LIFESTYLE

CAREER / JOB: Soloist and photo shoot/instagram model,  CONTENT?: Not quite, she wants to keep pushing for more. While she’s very proud of where she is now she has a lot more she wants to accomplish including her solo album. RESIDENCE: She has a house in Korea and one in LA. She’s more often in LA working on her album these days. FINANCIAL STATUS: Very well off. RELIGION: Raised Roman Catholic by her parents. As a child she wanted to be a nun.

THE EXTRAS

ZODIAC SIGN: Pisces DEADLY SIN: Pride PREFERRED HUMOR: Puns and wordplay, anything not too dark or mean. CRIMINAL RECORD: none. TYPE OF DRUNK: Clingy and affectionate / bubbly. When drunk she gets very touchy and huggy. Likes to sit very close to people and hang onto them. Laughs a lot and slurs her words. If she’s sad and drinking she gets more mopey and lays around. Says strange things that don’t make too much sense. TYPE OF CRY: Usually she’ll suppress it until she can cry alone. If she’s crying in front of someone it’s at the point where she can’t hold it in anymore. Even then she might still cover her face or press it against them so her tears aren’t so visible.  TYPE OF LAUGH: Loud and uncontrollable and expressive, head throw back if it’s really funny. ADDITIONAL NOTES: She’s very open and willing to listen and talk to anyone, but the inner parts of her are private and she won’t show them to a majority of people. Her outside is very strong and she can handle a lot, but inside she can be soft and almost fragile in a childlike way. 

[penthony]

About for Laura Anderson

Character Chart Character’s full name:  Laura Elizabeth Anderson  Reason or meaning of name: Her mom just liked it, and i think Elizabeth is the name of her paternal grandmother, not that she’d know that.  Character’s nickname: Laur  Reason for nickname: It’s half of her name, plus she likes it better for some reason.  Birth date: August 8th, 1994.  Physical Appearance Age: twenty-two How old does he/she appear: She could pass for 18, maybe younger depending on what she’s wearing and if she has make up on.  Weight: 110lbs Height: 5′6 Body build: Petite/Slender   Shape of face: Oval  Eye color: Brown  Glasses or contacts: Neither  Skin tone: white/caucasian  Distinguishing marks: scar on her hip   Predominant features: Strong jaw, eyebrows, and a bright smile.  Hair color: Dark Brown  Type of hair: Wavy  Hairstyle: Long  Voice: Melodic, but young sounding.  Overall attractiveness: Pretty attractive.  Physical disabilities: n/a  Usual fashion of dress: leggings, a bandeau and a teeshirt, or an oversized sweater. sometimes jeans, a tee and a leather jacket.  Favorite outfit: boyshorts and an oversized teeshirt.  Jewelry or accessories: a ring on her right hand and a pair of earrings depending on her mood.  Personality Good personality traits: determined, helpful, caring, somewhat maternal Bad personality traits: easily offended, choleric, stubborn, prone to distrust.  Mood character is most often in: a sarcastic one.  Sense of humor: inappropriate to say the least.  Character’s greatest joy in life: sex, sleeping, pie, pizza & beer.  Character’s greatest fear: Being abandoned, or never finding love.  Why? Her mother abandoned her a lot, and she never really saw a healthy relationship around her.  What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil? her mothers death - which just happened Character is most at ease when: probably when she’s on her couch watching something, or with blaine or eli.  Most ill at ease when: in a high stress situation, or when drugs are present  Enraged when: someone calls her a whore, when someone doesnt help themselves to what they need, or when someone gets in her business without asking.  Depressed or sad when: thinking about her future  Priorities: not falling apart.  Life philosophy: fuck it.  If granted one wish, it would be: to start over.  Why? because she just is a very sad puppo.  Character’s soft spot: her soft spot is for the people she’s closest to, they’re really the only people she trusts.  Is this soft spot obvious to others? not always, but it’s coming more and more clear.  Greatest strength: the fact that she is very prone to sticking up for others  Greatest vulnerability or weakness: she tends to run away from her own emotions Biggest regret:  not going after her mom when she had the chance  Minor regret: getting into porn Biggest accomplishment: taking care of herself after her mom disappeared  Minor accomplishment: actually allowing people to start to get close to her  Past failures he/she would be embarrassed to have people know about: i wouldn’t say failures, but i would think that she might be embarassed about one day maybe being a mom and people knowing about her porn history.  Why? porn ruins lives, folks.  Character’s darkest secret: oh god, she’s got way too many of those.  Does anyone else know? the person who was involved other than her?  Goals Drives and motivations: her friends and cousin are her motivators right now, other than that her drive in life is her inner clock I suppose.  Immediate goals: to get through the celebration of life party on friday.  Long term goals:  to try and get her life on track, go to school, get a job, try and be a better person? maybe.  How the character plans to accomplish these goals: she wants to drink on friday, and as for the rest... she has no clue where to start.  How other characters will be affected: oh jesus, i dunno.  Past Hometown: Lima, Ohio.  Type of childhood: Not a very good one.  Pets: None, but i kind of want her to get a dog.  First memory: Of her father walking out on her and her mom. Most important childhood memory: seeing her mom on the floor in the bathroom overdosed on heroin.  Why: because that was traumatic for her.  Childhood hero: she didnt really have a hero.  Dream job: n/a Education: She finished highschool thats it. Religion: She knows that her father was jewish, but never really practiced any faith.  Finances: back then her finances were null, her mom spent most their money on drugs, and when she was sober it was to pay the bills. she went withotu food a lot.  Present Current location: Havenoaks, Oregon  Currently living with: No one  Pets: n/a Religion: n/a Occupation: Porn Star  Finances: Comfortable  Family Mother: Jane Anderson  Relationship with her: Not good Father: ??? ??? Relationship with him: hes not around  Siblings: n/a Relationship with them:n/a Spouse:n/a Relationship with him/her:n/a Children: n/a Relationship with them:n/a Other important family members: the only family member she likes is blaine.  Favorites Color: I want to say blue, but red is a close second  Least favorite color: Yellow.  Music: HipHop/alt/edm/indie  Food: anything  Literature: the classics  Form of entertainment: tv, video games Expressions: what the fuck - that’s a favourite of hers.  Mode of transportation: car (ford explorer)  Most prized possession: her apartment, she bought and paid for it herself, along with her car.  Habits Hobbies: sleeping, dancing, singing (although she’d never admit to that)  Plays a musical instrument? guitar, and some piano.  Plays a sport? used to play soccer in school  How he/she would spend a rainy day: probably sleeping, or working depending on the day.  Spending habits: she’s very careful with her money  Smokes: it’s a very seldom occurance that she smokes, cigarettes were never her thing, pot was, but she doesnt really do that anymore.  Drinks: socially/occasionally.  Other drugs: she was big into pot and some other things back in the day, but is sober now.  What does he/she do too much of? probably has too much sex or crying. shes a mess.  What does he/she do too little of? oh god... self loving/  Extremely skilled at: well she’s good in the sack, but she’s also a pretty good cook.  Extremely unskilled at: she cant fucking paint worth a damn. she had to hire someone to paint her apartment Nervous tics: she taps her foot when nervous, or picks at a label  Usual body posture: slouched, or curled up.  Mannerisms: she talks with her hands sometimes, but tends to be avoidant with eye contact  Peculiarities: she’s just a peculiar person.  Traits Optimist or pessimist? pessimist  Introvert or extrovert? extrovert  Daredevil or cautious? daredevil (shes beginning to be a little cautious)  Logical or emotional? emotional, definitely.  Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat? methodical, she cant stand a mess.  Prefers working or relaxing? relaxing Confident or unsure of himself/herself? she’s a mix of both. she exudes an air of confidence for sure, but I think she’s really unsure of herself deep down.  Animal lover? YES Self-Perception How he/she feels about himself/herself: she hates herself One word the character would use to describe self:  lost  One paragraph description of how the character would describe self:  in first person -   “I’m someone who was never taught to love, never really taught how to properly deal with things other than rely on something like drugs or alcohol. I tend to run away from my problems and emotions, and I do that so that I can’t get close to anyone. I’m a bitch, and am a commitment-phobe. So sue me.”  What does the character consider his/her best personality trait? her helpfulness  What does the character consider his/her worst personality trait? her temper  What does the character consider his/her best physical characteristic? she likes to think she has nice legs, and a nice ass.  What does the character consider his/her worst physical characteristic? shes very self concious about her boobs.  How does the character think others perceive him/her: she thinks everyone hates her, and likes to think that shes okay with that when shes not.  What would the character most like to change about himself/herself: she probably would want to be percieved as a better person, but that can be hard for her to admit.  Relationships With Others Opinion of other people in general: she just doesnt like many people  Does the character hide his/her true opinions and emotions from others? fuck no Person character most hates: probably her mom - as messed up as that is.  Best friend(s): Stella, Blaine, Kivrin, Ezra & Elijah  Love interest(s): elijah herself  Person character goes to for advice: Elijah, Blaine, or Ezra.  Person character feels responsible for or takes care of: Blaine  Person character feels shy or awkward around: Elijah  Person character openly admires: Stella, Blaine  Person character secretly admires: Elijah (sorta she’s been inda vocal of how awesome he is, but ya............)  Most important person in character’s life before story starts: probably her mom.  After story starts:  TBD 

[gleefw-gossip]

From Rags to Riches. Heart Break and a Haunting Pass. Murder and More: a in depth interview with Mercedes Evans ‘Football Wives of Miami’ star, wife of Samuel Evans, and mother of 2? 

Interviewer: Wendy Williams. 

“Hello!” Wendy said excitedly to Mercedes. “Long time no see, the last time I saw you. You were pregnant with the big belly and everything. Look at you now!” she said gesturing Mercedes.

Mercedes chuckled “hello Wendy” she said running her hands through her hair. “Yes I was and now SJ is a hefty boy who’s 3 months old now” Mercedes said with a bright smile.

Wendy nodded her head “time flies” she said in response. “And now here we are for an interview. I am going to grill the hell out of you. You know that right” she laughs.

“Time moves to quickly” she said nodding. Mercedes grinned “OH! I am prepared. I think I am ready” she told her as she shifted in her seat right across from Wendy’s.

“Okay. First things first. I must revisit this topic because it still hasn’t been talked about personally with either one of you since the reunion show. Do you truly believe that Santana’s child is your husband’s? Despite anything the media has reported, you have heard, and been told. Do you think he is Samuel’s?” Wendy ask.

Mercedes looked to Wendy folding her hands in her lap as she listened to her. Upon hearing the question she smirked to herself. She knew all too well that it would be brought up, however she didn’t expect for it to open up the interview. “Just jump right in this head and feet first huh” she demonstrated with her hands before resting them back into her lap. “Uh, um” she started tilting her head as she thought for a moment. “Originally I did” she said nodding her head. “I - just like everyone else. I got hit with the news out of nowhere. And I didn’t know the full story at the time and all the details about the situation however I saw a picture of him and I at the time just knew off rip that he was Samuel’s” she said being cut off by Wendy.

“You saw a picture of him?” Wendy asked curiously.

“Yeah” Mercedes replied nodding her head closing her eyes as she did. She opened her eyes to say. “She didn’t hesitate she was calculated in her efforts of painting him as this bad guy. Essentially she was down playing her involvement. Rather he was or was not his son. Why did you wait 10 years?” Mercedes said.

“What changed your mind?” Wendy added curiously.

“For the most part, things were not adding up. In my mind, in my head her motives were not in the right place. She didn’t use my platform to get Samuel to know this young man. And to make him a part of our lives and to ultimately get them both to form a relationship like she made it seem that she was. It was all a show. For money. If I wanted my son to know his dad, this big star in the spotlight this um… man whom has formed a whole other life in another area with another woman. I’d come to the couple one on one. With my grown woman panties on and I’d first admit my wrong doing and try to fix it. But that’s not what she was trying to do, she just wanted money off of this” Mercedes explained. “She magically is turning down the paternity test now so I find it all just, hilarious.”

Wendy nodded looking to her notes “and you paid her out a quarter-million dollars recently” the taller woman said asking a question more so than making a statement.

“I did and she won’t get a penny more” Mercedes said outright.

“I have to be completely bias in this occupation of mine sometimes. But I call bull on Santana and I did so on one of my shows because for such a loud-mouth she is hiding, especially from that test. And I don’t understand the need to do that if the kid is his. So in a nutshell… baby maybe until further notice” Wendy shrugged. “She needs to take the test or put it to rest.”

Mercedes chuckled nodding “take the test of put it to rest” she repeated.

Shaking her head Wendy says “moving on; new topic. Have you had any interaction with Samuel’s side piece? How has your relationship changed since they came onto the scene? And have you stepped out on Samuel to get back at him, have you thought about it?” Wendy read off looking back up at Mercedes.

“I didn’t know he had one?” Mercedes questioned with a laugh. “Oh goodness. A side piece? Who might that be?” she asks back.

“There was a woman talked about in the past, he and she were seen in a club setting. It was very suspect and the woman had been reportedly spotted near your residence and more” Wendy said.

“Oh Lord” Mercedes breathed heavily as Wendy speaks and she shook her head at the mention of Lauren. “As far as I know. The woman being mention was someone that was hired to freshen up my home before SJ was born. I don’t know about any club settings. And well, she was at my home because she had a paid job to complete of course” she breathed out.

“So there is nothing going on with Samuel and the woman who will remain nameless but we’ve all come to know as, Lauren?” Wendy reiterated.

Mercedes looked to Wendy and she rubbed her lips together slightly. “If my husband has a side piece. Which he doesn’t. I have not interacted with her. Not any woman, bitch, or whore he comes across could dare take my place or compare. My relationship with my husband is amazing and will continue to be. No one could change that. And I have not and will not ever cheat on my husband in this life or the next” she said “I hope that answers your question” she said with a smile.

Wendy smirked at Mercedes knowingly. “Next question” she said as she looked to Mercedes seriously. “Since we are on the topic of relationships. Could you tell us: would you classify yourself as bisexual since you’ve slept with women before or was it all experimental?” she said cocking her head to the side.

At Wendy’s next question Mercedes shook her head; she pursed her lips slightly before she said. “I date women in college I did not just sleep with them. It was an awkward moment in my life. A phase of some sorts. It was a trying time for me to be honest. I had just moved away from Texas to Florida. I left my family and everything I had come to know behind. Uh…” she paused. “I am a victim of multiple rapes it has not been easy” she confessed as she looked to the ground talking with her hands. “I did away with men if you will” she shrugged. “And I didn’t mess over the relationships and play games I loved the woman at one point of time. But Samuel is who ultimately stole my heart. Now if that makes me a bisexual so be it” she said looking to Wendy.

“Are you sexually attracted to women even now?” Wendy asked her.

Mercedes scratched the side of her face and she shrugged “I admire all people” she laughed. “No honestly if I see a beautiful woman I may stare or swap a glance, yes. I am not one of the ladies though, I give credit where it’s due. If you are gorgeous you are just gorgeous: dog, cat, mouse, male, female, bird, tree…” she listed shrugging again.

“I see, Mercedes I get the hint that you maybe just as flirtatious and charming as your husband” Wendy commented getting a loud snort out of Mercedes.

“Switching over to more serious matters. You have had a lasting relationship with the Hudson’s. However last season the friendship was tarnished a bit by drama from other cast mates and between yourselves” she spoke and Mercedes nodded. “Why do you think Rachel turned on you? And how do you feel about it?” Wendy asked her.

“I wouldn’t say she ‘turned’ on me at all. I think she had one opinion and I had my own and we were not willing to compromise in our judgments towards the situation. She’s head strong and so am I” Mercedes chuckled. “I, at one point of time I was really hurt. I wanted my friend to open her eyes to a few things and I don’t feel like she was receptive at all. And I think me being pregnant egged it on a bit because I wanted her there through the whole pregnancy with me as well. It was a new World for me and I wanted to share it with her and we were fighting and feuding. It was really hard” she confessed. “But we of course have made up now. It was just a bunch of mess… not worth a friendship. She showed up during a rough time in my life and I commend her for it because she didn’t have to. She made up for my being butt hurt severely” she laughed.

“You have settled the beef and are now back on one accord. So you mentioned her being there during a rough time. You are talking about your brother?” Wendy asked her.

“Yes we did” Mercedes confirmed nodding her head as she did. She licked her lips as she nodded again at the woman.

“It’s a very touchy subject, but how do you feel about your brother’s passing now that some time has passed?” Wendy asked her next, shifting in her seat as she held her notes in her hand.

“Uh...” Mercedes shrugged not knowing what to say. “I take it one day at a time” she said not knowing what else to say. “It’s still very hard to comprehend most days. You watch movies and tv shows with these stories of how life is during things like this. But people have no idea. You do wake up every morning preparing yourself to text or call this person. Or without thinking drive around to their home and they are gone” she said.

Wendy looked to her again and ask, “How has his death affected your day to day life?”

“I just have gotten to the point where I don’t go to his grave every day. Work has picked up and I have SJ being taken care of by another person on my plate. I had horrible anxiety about that. And I am a wife at the end of the day as well. So I have cut back on physically going to the cemetery. I went every day after her died. Every day” she emphasized. “I just… I am trying to make it day to day without him because nothing I can do came make him come back. I have all the money in the World and it can’t buy back my family’s lives nor my happiness” Mercedes said sadly.

“Do you have anything you’d like to say his wife? Or ex sister-in-law.” Wendy asked.

Mercedes shook her head “no” she said simply. “I mean I was upset I was heated for a very long time about the situation. And I came to terms with her doing what she did for whatever reason she did it. And I feel sorry for her essentially because she will do her time here on Earth and unfortunately when she dies she doesn’t understand that she will have an eternal life sentence to serve and that one will be far worst in magnitude then that of what any judge can punish her with” she said honestly.

“She’s going to rot in hell” Wendy repeated in layman’s terms.

“Oh yeah” Mercedes nodded lips pressed together. “Oh yeah, definitely” she told her.

“Do you believe your past with your mother and ending up in foster care has affected your adulthood at all and the way you view parenthood and relationships?” Wendy asked her lastly.

Mercedes thought to herself for a moment. “Of course it has” she said. “Both in positive and negatives ways. Mostly negative” she said to be quite honest in the moment. “My mother wasn’t much of a mother at all. And I didn’t have a stable life at all. Foster care has a lasting affect because people just don’t understand how the system works and how hard it for kids like myself to deal with the stress that comes from that environment. You only have two options when you are faced with the situation I was in. Run the shits yourself, or by hoping with all you might someone takes you under their wings and shows you all the love, support, nurture, and care that you needed. And if you are in my shoes you would have had to find someone who could cram a life’s worth of that stuff into a tiny window before they then have to let you fly out of the nest and on your own” she explained. “As a medical professional and with experience I can tell you that a child needs stability, love, and a warm environment. Those things determine what kind of person you create for the World that everyday people like you and I live in” she said. I have lasting effects from what happened to me in my childhood but I get through them as best as I can without telling myself that I am burdening the people around me with the little things that hold me back. Far as me being a mother goes, I think it has helped one-hundred percent with that because I will not allow anything to ever happen to him. I take my title and my role in his life for more serious because of what I’ve been through. Relationship wise I am a guarded person sometimes, sometimes I worry about how much of what I am dealing with is affecting the next person rather letting them help me through it but my husband is amazing. And he’s been there through and through” she said.

Wendy nodded hand on her chin “Samuel is great comfort?” she asked her.

“Amazing comfort. He keeps me grounded. And his patience, tender love, and his care keeps me falling in love everyday because he’s everything” she said nodding her head. “He loves me for me flaws and all and what more could I possibly ask for?” she said with smile.

“And you are pregnant again” Wendy added. “How are you feelings towards that?” she asked her.

“Yes I am. I was nervous at first. I am older in age and I did have a difficult time conceiving before SJ but I am excited. I have tossed any negativity aside and I think 2017 it going to be great!” Mercedes said with a bright smile.

“Good. Congrats are in order for you. And thank you for the interview” Wendy smiled extending her hand.

“Thank you. And it was my pleasure” Mercedes said shaking the woman’s hand.

[choosehereveryday]

Week 1

What brought me in? What made you decide it was time to take action?

I lost really important relationships because of my anxiety that triggers crazy manic behavior, I have gotten violent I have hurt people close to me and tried hurting myself and I’m trying to do anything to feel better. Every day now I am severely depressed, I miss my previous partner so much and crave the communication and relationship we once had. And I want to learn to how to battle my triggers so I can be a better partner/friend/person, and generally survive in society with myself with minimal or no severe manic episodes.

Strengths

Charismatic, funny

Resilient

Self-sufficient

Street smart

Adabptable

How ________ effects my well being?

Intimate Relationships: Currently technically have none but my previous partner still weighs heavily on my mind constantly, I have spent days in bed crying and trying to find ways to be okay with literally no prevail I feel hopeless missing her so much, it hurts to even write this.

Friends: I feel as though I have lost a lot of friendships and invested my time into ones that don’t always benefit me.

I have a few friends at work who I would really consider my best friends, whether they think the same of me or not I’m not sure. Which doesn’t really bother me because they give me a nice release and I feel comfortable around them not comfortable enough to go to them when I am upset but just enough so I can say I am having a bad day and Dan will send me gifs and memes and sometimes we take walks that get me out of the office and to stop crying at work. Also all amazing and trusted people to bitch about the stresses of work too!

I really want to reach out to new circles because I am really tired of feeling insignificant in my friends lives and even being invited to a festival in a group and knowing they have a group chat but not being apart of it. I am taking everything as a grain of salt but life has been very lonely lately and I haven’t really done anything at all. I feel guilty every time I go out somewhere like I’m gonna get in trouble or if Erin found out she would be triggered and even though she obviously doesn’t want to talk to me I still cant help but worry it will hurt her and in turn me.

Family My family and I are not close and I guess eventually once I’m healthy again and consistent in my relationships I would love to grow closer with them again.

My dad stresses me out I feel unloved and undervalued by him, I don’t know if it is solely just mistakes I have made or his harsh outlook on life but he communicates and makes me feel so degraded and worthless.

My mom is just so aloof with me, she left while I was 15 and never contacted me till years later when she just showed up at my graduation and then again the same year a few months later on my birthday because I was leaving for the military, she is my mom and I find some comfort in her but I also don’t care to have a relationship with her because it is very one sided, and it is not that way with my sister and that deeply hurts me.

My Grandma I miss her so much she passed away a few years ago and since that moment everything has been a blur i really just whole heartily think she could help and having a family member as constant as her would be so fucking nice most days and I cry out for her, I miss her so much when I am feeling like I cant cope. Sometimes I feel like its just because she is there and is trying to calm me down but I don’t know if that sounds crazy I just take comfort in her spirit

My other (living) grandma, I feel guilt that I am not spending more time with her but I don’t care as passionately for her as I did my other grandma and she always makes snarky remarks and its really hard to communicate and stuff with her. But she is top priority on my list to reconnect with

My sister, I run to her on my really bad days and she has saved my life without knowing it many times by just being available to sit with she and I get along really well but again our relationship feels forced and one sided there are a lot of things that have happened and that I simply think we both point the finger at the other for that I don’t think will ever change.

Do you have a strong group of friends? Do you seem them as much as you’d want? Have they been effected by your anxiety and or depression?

I don’t have a group of friends I can just call up and get together with or even really a single person like that right now and its really killing me, as an adult you cant just accrue those friendships as easily either and I really miss having a solid group of people, I think I have an issue being alone somewhat, while at the same time I literally do not experience anxiety going out in public alone, I have gone to dinners alone, and honestly found it to be enjoyable. So I am not sure exactly where my anxiety gets triggered from being alone, I think its human touch. But also I do not feel comfortable having anyone else touch me whatsoever.

Work Life: I find work work to be somewhat the only positive, while processes and management can be aggravating I find it to be a copiable feel and easily can vent it out. My co workers fill me with lots of laughs and an outlet for good conversation and like mentioned above I feel comfortable with them almost the most right now. I also love my job and feel like if I can make it full time with my upcoming interviews I could be my dream job and its been easier then ever to save money and no long live pay check to pay check

Faith, Meaning, Expansion Becoming more zen and more in tune with the world is becoming really important to me I always resonated with higher vibrations and I want to start tuning into those more, times when I did I was happiest, most healthy and least manic. I have been meditating every day and spending tons of time thinking and writing and creating when I can, becoming healthier physically emotionally and spiritually is something I’m trying to take in strides but one day at a time. But I want to learn more about energies and crystals as cliche as it sound and surround myself with healing energies.

What moves me? What are things I am passionate about?

I am moved by success, I find it fulfilling to explore and to see others explore, I want to always take joy in others accomplish really cool things and go really cool places, sometimes my jealousy and my own self has held me back from doing the things I always hoped I would be doing in my 20’s and I really am hoping to start getting out and seeing the world more now that I am not in a relationship. I also am passionate about weed and find it so interesting to learn about and have expanded my knowledge so much and I am using that as drive to grow in my current job because I do have the potential and that would make me happy. Also having money and the freedoms this job could give me to travel are huge.

Physical health:I walk a lot while getting to and from work I find joy in it and have noticed as I walk up certain hills that used to make me extremely winded I am able to glide up them. I have always be fairly athletic and happy with my body because of it and it is easy to remain and become toned which is another goal, possible plan to get into lifting eventually or join a crossfire gym.

Eating habits: it really varies I was over eating one week and this week I have found it very hard to acquire and appetite or motivation to cook meals, the week before this I bought Tupperware though made meals for the whole week stuck to it and was eating fairly healthy which is a new habit for me since leaving my relationship, we ate out a lot and I was much more willing to just grab a quick bite when I had her to share it with.

Substance Use: I used to have a huge issue with drinking and I ended up basically going to jail because I was so drunk and out of control and currently have a non-conditional probation, but since then I have spent 3-4 months being completely sober and then slowly started wanting to drink more and a lot of problems between my ex spiraled from that. She wouldn’t allow me to drink at all and it wasn’t even that I wanted to so badly, I just wasn’t going to be told that I couldn’t and especially since I know I have a hold on myself while drinking, I fought her on it and lied to her and would betray her trust, but I just never thought it was necessary anymore like she did, I enjoy drinking every so often and think that it is okay but could never come out on the top of that conversation with her.

Sleep I normally spend my nights trying to become as tired as possible so I can fall asleep without thinking about missing Erin, I have terrible ptsd/sleep paralysis/intense anxiety around my dreams and I just really loved having her to wake up next to I slept so well next to her I felt so whole when I would get to hold her in my arms. I miss that I wake up EVERY night at 5-6 am and I cannot get back to sleep even though I could just try and go to work I lay in bed for hours trying to find motivation. My bedroom has become my sanctuary.

Recreation, Relaxation, What do you like doing tn your free time:? I love going out and enjoying social environments and doing activities with lots of laughing and good times, I love going outside and just enjoying nature like hiking can be cool but even just sitting at the beach and looking out at a really nice view. I spend a lot of time on my phone to relax and occupy my mind. I want to travel more and go places I have never been more.

I am trying to not stress myself out and cause panic though so I am really staying in a lot and when I go out its normally just myself or its somewhere where I am free to leave whenever I please without feeling bad.

GOALS FOR 7 WEEKS

Feel less anxious and depressed

Have the ability to go to Erin with some change and hope it helps or the ability to find a way to move on more effectively

Feel more comfortable going out and finding people I am comfortable with besides co-workers that can commit time to me

Become lighter and less suicidal on my bad days

Feel more comfortable in general with my life the way it is/going to be now.

Reminder for this week:

Review goals

Use reminders in calendar Remind self of goals

Log your time in Daily activities form

[russellthornton]

20 Good Questions to Ask a Guy to Find Out Who He Really Is

Want to really get inside his brain and find out what makes him tick? Let us show you how with these 20 good questions to ask a guy.

Getting to know someone can be easy at first. But what happens when you get past all the obvious, generic questions like, “What’s your favorite movie?” or “How many siblings do you have?” Getting to really know someone takes a bit more cunning and knowledge of how to see through the smoke screen he puts up. There are good questions to ask a guy to really loosen him up and get him out of autopilot answers.

Maybe you’re on a date and the conversation stalls a bit, or maybe you’ve been seeing each other for a while but you’ve started running out of things to talk about. You may just want to shake him up and keep him from feeling nervous around you. Some people are a bit too shy to open up straight away. But when asked the right way, there are some questions that’ll intrigue him and have him telling you more.

20 good questions to ask a guy

Make sure to keep the questions open-ended, to not put him off or give him the opportunity to disengage with you. He might be a tough nut to crack, but these questions should at least keep the conversation going and really help break him out of his shell. So, try these 20 good questions to ask a guy if you really want to get to know him.

#1 What’s your ex like? Most guys who tell you their ex is crazy or a bitch, are the ones to be cautious of. Generally, if he has nothing but bad things to say about her, it’s because he’s either not over her, or he’s the one that turned her crazy. [Read: 16 types of guys to avoid like the plague]

#2 What’s your relationship like with your family? The way a guy relates to his parents is a good indication of what kind of a person he is. They’re the ones who taught him his first impressions of what relationships were all about. In most cases, they taught him how to treat women. If they’re good people, chances are he’ll be a great person too. [Read: How to emotionally connect with a man]

#3 What’s your political stance? Politics either bring about a fruitful, interesting discussion, or spiral into a long-winded rant. Depending on how compatible you are politics-wise, you’ll get one or the other. If he ends up ranting, then he’s probably not right for you.

#4 Do you believe in monogamy? This is a tricky one. Depending on what you’re after, you either get the perfect response or hear something you wish you hadn’t. In most cases, if you’re looking for a relationship, hearing that the dude’s just not down with monogamy can be an instant spark killer.

#5 What’s your biggest accomplishment? Hearing someone’s biggest accomplishment puts into perspective what their priorities actually are. Some guys boast about how much money they make, their year long stint working in an orphanage, or the best frappuccino they ever had. It’s up to you to determine what is and isn’t shallow.

#6 How would you describe yourself in one word? This is one of those perfectly good questions to ask a guy because it reveals so much about him, and it’s coming from his own mouth. When women describe themselves, their habit is to be self-deprecating. When men describe themselves, they tell you EXACTLY who they are. If a man tells you he’s lazy, generous, stingy, selfish, or talented, believe him.

#7 What job would you have if money was not an issue? A lot of people put their passion to the side in order to get a “normal” job, so seeing where his passion lies when money has no bearing on his life gives you an interesting insight to him. [Read: 13 ways to know if he’s a gentleman or a player]

#8 What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done? Most people can be reckless at times, but there’s a difference between messing up at an important meeting and sleeping with your best friend’s wife. Or accidentally burning down your house. Or wrecking your car while drunk. Be careful what he justifies by saying it was ‘just a dumb decision.’

#9 How many hearts have you broken? Every man breaks at least one heart. So, if he says none then he’s either lying because the number is much higher than he wants you to know, or he’s incredibly naive. Or emotionally disconnected. Or both.

#10 If you could master any craft or subject what would it be? This question brings out a side of him that indicates any hidden talents he has. It also shows you his deeper interests and what kind of ambitions he has. A man who doesn’t want to get better at any subject or craft is a man with no passion in life.

#11 What’s your favorite animal? Most people are either cat or dog people, and this helps you figure out if you both feel the same about pets. That being said, some of the most interesting people have equally interesting favorite animals. It’s also worth noting that you should rarely trust a man who hates animals or wants nothing to do with them. [Read: 22 early warning signs of a shitty boyfriend]

#12 What’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you? Finding out what a man values above all else is an important step in finding out more about him. He may say it was the time he met his childhood hero, when he got his driving license, or when he got a huge promotion—there’s so much to learn from his answer.

#13 How many times have you been in love? Always be incredibly cautious of men who have made it pretty far into their lives and never been in love. I’ve known a few who claimed to never have loved any of their exes. They always turned out to be emotionally stunted. Men who don’t know how to love someone else can’t be changed by you, they need to be able to change themselves.

#14 Do you watch porn? Most men who claim that they don’t or have never watched porn are complete liars. Not all men enjoy watching porn, but almost all of them have watched some at some point or been curious about it in some form. Also, asking him this question probably throws him off and gets him out of this comfort zone. [Read: 40 things to ask a guy that’ll leave him crazy about you]

#15 If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be? A man either acknowledges his flaws and is honest about them, or openly ignores them and pretends he’s perfect. No one’s perfect. Everyone has something they’d change about themselves, so see how honest he’s willing to be.

#16 Star Wars or Star Trek? Every man has an answer to this. Asking this question either shows you he’s a massive geek, or he’s not interested in either franchise. It’s up to you which one you find sexier.

#17 What’s your life mantra? What words of wisdom does he live by? What philosophical quote speaks to him the most? What thoughts get him out of bed in the morning? Having a strong life mantra can be very powerful when it comes to shaping your values and motivations. [Read: 14 easy mantras to live by and transform your life]

#18 What’s your deepest fear? Finding out what terrifies someone can be incredibly illuminating in figuring out what makes them tick. Some people are scared of losing control, failure, or missing out on new experiences. Finding out what keeps him awake at night shows you a darker side of him he may not normally show.

#19 What’s one mistake you wish you could redo? We’re all only human and we make mistakes all the time. For most people, there’s that one thing we wish we could go back in time and remedy. Finding out his shows you what he values and how much he is open to change. [Read: The 20 qualities in a guy that makes him a really good guy]

#20 What would your autobiography be called? A lot of people secretly dream of penning a series of memoirs one day. Find out what his would focus on. Is he the hero in his own story or the misunderstood villain? Would his book be a comedy or a tragedy? This question is pretty revealing, and sometimes sets the whole tone for who he may be deep under all the bravado and cologne.

[Read: The top 35 flirty questions to ask a guy to see if he’s interested in you]

Use these 20 good questions to ask a guy to really get to the bottom of who he is and get him out of his comfort zone. Once you’ve asked them, he’ll never be able to hide his true self from you again.

The post 20 Good Questions to Ask a Guy to Find Out Who He Really Is is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.