#no cuz they were very very gay and i WISH i wrote those few chapters better because it just deserves more suspense...more drama...more ANGST

[berry-hwa]

GUYS.

this fic. This fic. Im here at 2 in the morning to diss this fic i wrote 2 years ago (and never did the art for it)

The idea? Fantastic. Friends to lovers. Friendly gay banter. Masquerade party. They dance. Good plot in my opinion it was very delicious to think of, i especially had fun describing and figuring out their outfits

BUT. But but but.

The pacing was completely off. One chapter eisuke questions whether or not he feels something for a certain mobster and in the next chapter he admits to being in love? What was me thinking idk? The pacing is all messed up in the in-between chapters. The writing choices are also not my cup of tea - the POVs keep jumping around which might be confusing to others even if its not for me (since i wrote it)

Moral of the story here is — i think if i were to write this fic again, id change a lot of things and fix things up...but i have no idea if I'll actually ever get to it lol. I have an unfinished kavetham fanfic lying around and its been here for MONTHS and ill consider it lucky if i manage to finish it by the end of the year and do something with it

So that was my rant!!! Thank u for coming to the ted talk, do visit again 👍i was forced to make this short since i eep 😔

(also face reveal ig yes that is me that is most definitely my person, im just a glorified stickman)

[daddywright]

I have only recently got into the ace attorney fandom, and this story was the first story I read, and I feel spoiled! I absolutely loved every chapter, so I'm gonna word vomit here and tell you everything I love about this!

"She offers him a smile. It’s small, tentative, but it possesses a strength that makes a hidden part of him twist and burn with quiet envy." the first time we see nick's wish to be as strong as mia!

Considering the fact that nick didn't have any prominent figure in his life, it makes sense that he would look up to gregory so much

"Phoenix looks up, and starts walking towards Mia Fey

He doesn't stop for two years."

THE RELATIONSHIP THAT MIA AND NICK HAD WAS PRECIOUS AND DESERVES MORE THAN WHAT THE FANDOM GIVES THEM

"Larry’s arms wrap around him, squeezing almost too tight" People forget that Larry and Phoenix were good friends too, and Larry would help his best friend

"Nobody believed him, nobody but Mia" Maya is what Phoenix is to Mia and I adore that

"He wishes, desperately, that he’d said it while she was still alive. I loved you. For everything you did." Not you absolutely breaking my fucking heart

Also the first AA game felt unnatural in the sense of how seemingly unaffected Phoenix seemed at Mia's murder so I'm really glad you wrote it this way

"Expensive. Thoughtful. Too much." SHUT UP NICK YOU DESERVE ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING

Also quick break to mention how I absolutely fucking love your writing style and i wish I was literally half as talented as you cuz the last time I read something that made me feel this multitude of emotions was ocean vuong. And I practically worship Ocean Vuong. So now I worship you too

"You're a stranger to me // When will I stop hoping?" I never really realised just how badly nick musta been hurt by good ol' bratworth before this fic, but now that I have read it, it would have hurt him so bad

"Is this why you never answered my letters? Because I was a reminder? Because it hurt too much?" Honestly what happened to miles and phoenix's friendship hurts so much because it should have never happened, and miles didn't deserve that.

"Maybe Miles Edgeworth is not the man he thought he’d be, either." yo when I tell you this hurt I mean this huRT

Fun fact! My birthday is on the same day as DL-6 anniversary. Gregory Edgeworth died on my birthday. I feel horrible now

"monster. You were nine years old and he's a monster. " No one has made me feel this much emotion for what happened to Miles in a single sentence other than you. I commend you for that

"I love you," he says quietly. He has never said those words to anyone, except for Dahlia Hawthorne.

Maya sniffs in his ear, crushing him tight. "I love you, too."

He has never heard them back.

PHOENIX HAS NEVER HEARD THE WORDS " I LOVE YOU" COME BACK TO HIM ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME WHY NOW I'M SAD

"Tell me everything. Every detail—" Miles is worried bout nick and why wouldn't he? gods you're so gay miles but tbf if I knew someone like nick irl i'd go ballistic too

"He determined the motive for his own assault...with amnesia. Naturally." My man's smart af and he is king

"Is that what she thinks of me? That I'm like that? That I don't care about who the bad guys really are?" Gumshoe noooo you're hella precious! Also this particular chapter was so well written! loved this soo much!

Also taking a minute to appreciate the pacing! Rarely do I ever come across an author who just hits that sweet spot of perfect pacing and you did! so thank you!

Alright so here are a few thoughts that I felt capcom needed to do which you did for us!

no. 1 - Address the trauma phoenix faced with not only dahlia but also with mia's death

no. 2 - Actually fucking flesh out a good relationship dynamic between larry and phoenix

no. 3 - actually! have! phoenix! be hurt! in bridge to turnabout! istg my man would not have dropped from a burning bridge to a freezing river only to have a cold

AUNT FRANZY AND PEARLS MAN!

THEY CUTE

ok so I have a LOT of feelings for bridge to turnabout and HOO BOY BUCKLE UP

So I always thought that in this fic, miles must have felt fucking awful! I mean he very clearly hates who he was and what that has led to but that must have been doubled over with this case! Phoenix would have died if not for mia and it would have been indirectly miles's fault. I think about that alot

Like he said that he very much regrets whatever he did as bratworth in the phone call with gumshoe but i don't think he anticipated this. poor edgeworth

Also I think this was the final nail in the coffin for miles. Phoenix forgave him, after all the fucked up shit miles did, and that made that man go "how is this guy so fucking compassionate awwwww shit I'm in fucking love with this idiotic brave man".

my main thoughts were "holy shit phoenix must have been feeling awful." like to learn that you were in love with a person who turned out to be a murderer but then not a murderer cuz everything you felt about that was real and just...... it must have hurt. He never fell in love with dahlia. it was iris, always. and WHAT ABOUT MILES DURING THIS!!! Like to learn that the man you love was falsely led to believe that he was in love with a person he rarely met and then learn that his ex who is not murderous might still be in love with him because "that was real. that part was real." like damn. people just gloss over this

also I feel terrible for iris F in the chat for iris lads.

Dahlia literally haunting that courtroom scene. I felt mia's power. I felt her desperation. I felt everything and I am once again in awe of the absolute power your writing holds.

also godsdamn pearls had to go through all that shit huh. also FRANMAYAAAAAA THANK YOUUUU

I too, am a hoe confused as to what I should feel towards diego.

Ok anyways we jump to disbarment now

"He just winks at her and says Maya has other talents, and if Mystic Maya overhears, she puffs up at him like the fish from the aquarium she saw once, the one with all the spikes and silly eyes."

you know what constantly amazes me? your ability to change tones so effortlessly. When writing from edgey's pov, the language is sophisticated. precise. when writing from pearly's pov your language is simplistic, child-like. from phoenix's pov it's natural. grounded

"She never knew anybody who made faces like him, growing up in Kurain, and it’s one of the things that makes him special." Yo phoenix is the most amazing uncle ever and we all know it ok he's brilliant

I'M RUNNING OUT OF CHARACTER LIMITS

PEARLY CALLING EDGEY AT FIRST SIGN OF TROUBLE I'M SOFFFFTTTT

“I think I did something really bad." trucy baby no it's not your fault

pearl and trucy bonding supremacy. my girls would fuck shit up

"She’d meant to do this properly, one day." Thank you for giving importance to maya's feelings. thank you for treating her like a real human being. thank you

“Everything that happened...for what? It’s only gotten people hurt. Pearly. Our mother.” Me. Me." I felt so bad for maya here. I wish I could tell you in precise words about how this exact framing of the sentence is what broke me. "me. me" maya deserved more, but mia did all she could

"What do scared kids need? ...Food." not you breaking my godsdamn heart again. phoenix just knows what's it like being a helpless child, and he'll be damned if he ever lets anyone face that again

“‘Course, Pearls,” he says reflexively, before frowning. “What for?” reflexively. if every man in the world could be like phoenix wright then the world would be worthy of the gods

"Another one?" give it 2 years edgey she'll be your daughter too

"after countless hours creating the man’s living space in his mind from the background snatches he’d seen in the man’s ridiculous video calls." NOT ONLY DO THEY VC FOR NO PARTICULAR REASON BUT ALSO MILES ACTUALLY SPENDS TIME TRYING TO RECREATE HIS ROOM?? BECAUSE HE WOULD ONE DAY LIKE TO BE IN IT??? good gods these bitches gay. good for them

"because just as day is light and night is dark, Phoenix Wright is an honorable man." damn straight. you love to see it (it being a 27+ year old man pining for another 27+ year old man)

also hey miles! how do you feel about the fact that the man you love changed his fucking major and degrees halfway through college just so he could see you again only for you to be incredibly rude to him and make him end up in jail! (i bully edgeworth cuz i love him)

"Wright finishes, shrugging like it’s nothing, like his commitment and belief isn’t the most extraordinary thing that Miles has ever faced." it's more than pining at this point. it's incredible faith and trust. Miles had someone who cared about him even after all those years despite him having changed so drastically, ofc he would be surprised. Miles loves phoenix and so do i.

also HOT DAMN YOU WRITING IS JUST * MWAH *

Also the whole segment where they kiss is just !!!!! miles wants! it's beautiful! THEY'RE IN LOVEEE

receiving poisonous bottles which your ex tried to kill you with. My man can't get a break huh

Miles being chivalrous and protective and absolutely stealing my godsdamn heart (and phoenix's too)!

Klavier being the absolute king that he is we stan

The hostage situation section? gods miles must have been terrified.

Phoenix not being able to promise pearly that he'd always come back home and miles hearing it and like... ouch. my heart. you didn't need to do that (but i love your for it)

GODS THE CLIMAX WITH KRISTOPH WAS SOOO SATISFYING AND LIKE MY MAN PHOENIX REALLY PUNCHED THAT BITCH HUH

klavier baby I am so sorry

ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL!

and thus my comment ends. I believe I have almost used up all of my commenting limits and i leave with these few parting words : HOLY SHIT YOUR AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU!

also I made a playlist on spotify for this fic! here's the link : https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3k8lRHiO8ZXQDLpiTUL7SN?si=fc3b35b4ab064867

gods this was long huh

GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY....WHERE DO I BEGIN...THE FACT THAT YOU BROKE THE CHARACTER LIMIT ON AO3 AND MADE A PLAYLIST? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?

thank you so much for all the amazing things you said....i am crying on a Wednesday morning knowing my writing was appreciated this much. thank you!

[directorscutandsomeotherstuff]

Mysterious Disease

(Welcome to Director’s Cut, and holy crap, are those actual followers? When did this nonsense happen? A few months ago, the only people who noticed what I was doing in this corner were blogs trying to advertise their porn. Well, now that there’s something of an actual audience, here, I guess I’d better put on my respectable face and... no, actually, I’m just gonna keep making fun of shitty fanfiction.)

(I never watched Hamtaro, as a kid. Nope. Nope. Not me. I was certainly not a boy in middle school who unironically took time out of his day to watch the animated adventures of a hamster and his club house full of hamster friends as they had adorable adventures when their owners all went to school and work. That was certainly not me. I was always a manly boy, who was into manly things and manly manliness...)

(Holy fuck, he’s wearing an accountant visor and doing little hamster paperwork ohmygawdwhyisthisshowsodamncuteyouguysjesusfuckingchri-)

(So, now that I’ve got that out of my system... ChibiMizu apparently also liked the show, but found that the one thing it was missing was hamsters making out or something. What follows is not so much a re-imagining of a beloved franchise as much as it’s one author’s descent into literary madness. I’d just like to suggest you take a look at the original page, just to see how this was formatted in its original incarnation. I’m going to introduce line-breaks, because otherwise this thing is unreadable. I’m feeling kind of spicy, today, so I think I’m gonna tackle two chapters at once.)

"Mysterious Disease" by: ChibiMizu! Disclaimer: I dun own Hamtaro! Poo... ChibiMizu: Ya know, they REALLY need a section for Hamtaro! Makes me very upset to have to put it in Misc. Its deserves so much better! T_T (Well, you’ll be glad to know you got your wish, sometime after this was posted. And it’s got over a thousand entries.) CheeseMaster: Yeah right... This is sick! O.O;; ChibiMizu: Whadya mean 'sick'?! Its KAWAII!!! Yaoi and yuri ham-hams! Awe its CUTE! ^^ (I will never understand why teenage girls think gay sex is “cute.” At least some portion of it involves things going into people’s butts.) CheeseMaster: No, not really... hamsters? GAY?! ChibiMizu: Gay??!! no, yaoi! There's a difference! (not really...) (Yaoi Hands would probably disagree with that sentiment, missy.) CheeseMaster: Well anyways, this fic is-- ChibiMizu: Yaoi AAAAND yuri! ^^ Pairings: HowdyxDexter, HamtaroxOxnard, SandyxBijou one-sided StanxMaxwell, and LauraxKana! CheeseMaster: But they're a bunch of hamsters and two 5th graders for crying out loud! (Actually, I kind of second the part about the 5th graders. Hamsters cornholing each other’re just funny, but...) ChibiMizu: No thanks! I don't cry out loud! ^^ CheeseMaster: Dah... ChibiMizu: Okie dokie then! You have been warned! ^^ read on if ya dare! and review if ya please to tell me how icky or kewl this idea is! ~.^ ~Proloug~ */*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/* "Kushi kushi." the orange spotted hamster rubbed his little pink paws on his face as he watched Laura get ready for school. (Nope. He could feel his face, which meant he wasn’t dreaming. He was going to be in a yaoi fanfic. He clasped his hands together in a short prayer to The Hamster Jeebus, asking for the strength to budda-budda on out of this nightmare.)

"See ya later Hamtaro! Be good!" Laura smiled as she grabbed her bag and left the room.

"Finally! I thought she'd NEVER leave!" Hamtaro rolled his eyes impatiently. 

"Chick-ah chick-ah chick-ah!" he went through the opening in his cage and ran to the little hole he had munched out. "Grooba!" he squeeked as he flew through the air and landed on Brandy's head. (You know, when you just write the Hamspeak out like this, it makes it sound like pointless baby talk. Also, I guess the gutter he slides down was out, this morning, so he just base-jumped out of the house?)

"Good morning Brandy! Have a nice sleep? Of course! You always do!" he greeted the dog, jumping off his head and heading towards the Ham-Ham clubhouse.

"Hey Hamtaro!" a familiar voice sounded from behind the walking hamster.

"Hamha Oxnard!" Hamtaro smiled and waited for his friend to catch up.

"Kana was moving oddly slow this morning! It took me awhile to get out!" Oxnard caught up and the two ham-ham's started walking to the clubhouse.

"Same with Laura! Think they're sick?" Hamtaro paniced, stopping in his tracks. (”Like, maybe they’re sick with Slow Motion Disease. I hear that’s common among anime girls, right up there with Giant Head As You Call Someone a Baka Disorder.”)

"I dunno! They could be sick, I mean Kana gave me extra sunflower seed this morning and she NEVER does that!"

(”What?” Hamtaro cried. “Your owner’s showing you kindness and affection? This is worse than I thought. She’s on death’s door!”)

"Hmm, weird. We'll have to ask the other Ham-Ham's! C'mon Oxnard! Let's go!" the two hamsters then bolted towards the underground clubhouse.

"Hamtaro! Good timeing! We have a crisis on our hands!" a very antsy Boss rushed over to the just entering Hamtaro and Oxnard.

"What's wrong Boss?!" Hamtaro asked, looking around.

"Dexter MUST be sick!"

"Why?!"

"He refuses to go ANY where near Pashmina! He then laughs at Howdy's jokes! We think he's delusional!" Maxwell stated, not looking up from his book.

"Oh he must be sick! To laugh at Howdy's jokes!" Oxnard frowned, looking at the laughing Dexter to the stumped Howdy.

"Oh Howdy! That was VERY funny!" Dexter laughed, side-stepping away from the confused Pashmina. (Um... Do... do you think that’s how gay people act? Or, like, just hamsters? Do you think they melt if they come in contact with estrogen, or something?)

"What's wrong Dexter? Why are you laughing at Howdy's jokes??!!" Hamtaro questioned the still laughing Dexter.

"But they're SO hilarious!" he managed out between laughs. (”I mean, ‘the Aristocrats?’ Fucking. Classic. Bro!”) Hamtaro sweatdropped and looked back at Howdy who shrugged. Suddenly, Dexter stopped laughing and 'hiffed' the air. (It smelled like estrogen. He would surely be dead, by evening, if he didn’t get some man in his system, ASAP.)

"Be right back!" he called, rushing out of the room (and hoping against hope there was such a thing as a tiny hamster truck stop).

"What was THAT all about?" Pashmina asked, worried about the strangely acting Dexter. "You better follow him Howdy."

"What?! Me?! That guy's SCARIN' me today! I ain't gonna FOLLOW him!" Howdy protested, backing away from the group.

(”You know,” Maxwell chimed in, opting to be the voice of reason, “he’s got a point. Maybe we should just wait for him to come back and quietly ask him what’s going on, instead of sending someone out alone to talk to a guy who’s acting all..”)

"Please Howdy? For me?" Pashmina pleaded, trying to get him to go after Dexter.

(”Oh, okay, cool.” Maxwell said. “Don’t be sensible, then. I’m just gonna sit here and keep reading “The Ham Who Was Thursday.”)

"Fine... only cuz you asked nicely..." Howdy gave in, slumping over sightly and exiting the room in defeat. */*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/* Ending noties: Weird ne? Blah! So_short! Well it IS the proloug afterall... CheeseMaster: I STILL can't believe you... ChibiMizu: Oh, believe in the power, believe! (The power of what? Fanfiction’s awful tendency to make every single story about manlove? I don’t need to believe in that; I’ve got proof in spades.) CheeseMaster: RRRrrright... *goes away* ChibiMizu *sweatdrops* Ok then! Sorry if they seem OOC, it's SUPPOSED ta be that way! BUAHAAAAaaa... O.O;; review if ya care ta! I need ta know people are disgusted with me! ^.~  (Well, you’re a little shit, aren’t you?)

(Well, fuck. Now I’m not feeling so spicy. This thing’s five chapters long. The author managed to squeeze out over 6000 words of this garbled monstrosity. Ugh, come on DC. You said two chapters, so let’s give ‘em two chapters.)

"Mysterious Disease." by: ChibiMizu Disclaimer: As if you really care, I don't own Hamtaro! ^.o (Eww. Don’t be blinking your lizard eyes at me, ChibiMizu.) ChibiMizu: Chapter ONE! Heheheee!!

CheeseMaster: But what about--

ChibiMizu: REMEMBER! That was the proloug??!!! (I consider myself to be antiloug, personally. Fuck lougs. They always leave the toilet seat up.)

CheeseMaster: Ooh yeah! I remember now! O.O;;

ChibiMizu: Enuf mindless chatting from me an' my muse! On with the fic!

CheeseMaster: Whatya mean YOUR muse?!!

ChibiMizu: Nufin'! ^_^()

CheeseMaster: Rrrrriiight... You're DEFINITELY losin' it...

ChibiMizu: Losin'? Lost you mean! Also to the people who don't know, I wrote this after watching 'Rose Red by Stephen King' (which BTW, is a REALLY good creepy movie and i suggest watching it! ^^ [I don't own THAT either...]) and after downing glass after glass of hyped up LEMONADE! Yummy! Then listening to 'Nightmare' which is a Wei§ Kruez songie that I don't own but is REALLY CREEPY! So that's to warn all you out there, that this MAY be dangerous for you to read, NOT that I'm trying to discourage you or anything... (You know, I don’t think I’ve ever said this about any author on this blog, but... you are really annoying. You’re like, that one girl who thought making Bayonetta say “rape” over and over again was funny, but somehow you’re even worse.)

Pairings are the same as last chappys: HowdyxDexter, HamtaroxOxnard, SandyxBijou one-sided StanxMaxwell, and LauraxKana! Extra Notes: Just thought I'd tell everyone and to reassure SabanDX that this WILL NOT and I repeat WILL NOT be a lemon! Or even lime! That would just... ruin it... completely nastiness... Nuf' from me! Read and review please!! (Oh, there we go. She thinks sexual attraction to the same sex is cute, but she doesn’t really want to think about the “sexual” part of it. This sentiment was quaint, when it was other authors doing it.) ~*~Chapter 1~*~ */*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/* "Why do I have to look for him? I don't deserve this..." Howdy grumbled under his breath as he looked around for the missing Dexter. "DEXTER! Get back here! I don't wanna keep lookin' for ya!" Howdy called, hoping for a response. "This is like that one joke where-- oh look it's Dex. Gulp..." the semi-frightened Howdy stopped in his tracks and dove into the nearest bush.

In front of him stood and very tall and very smiling person with pigtails and braided eartails! She was grinning so wide that Howdy thought her mouth was going to fall off. She knelt down, handing something in her hand to---

"Dexter!" Howdy eyed the two in complete confusion, Dexter smiling not as widely as the girl who skipped off singing: 'The real folk blues! Honto no kanashimi ga shiritaidake...' (A/n- I dun own Cowboy Bebop or the song 'The Real Folk Blues'!!)

(I... I just... These three paragraphs were one solid block of text, before I split it up into the closest thing to rational thoughts I could manage. Trying to read it all at once, my eyes just glazed over. I’ve got no snark. I’ve got no jokes. This author... she is ChibiMizuas, queen of queens. Gaze upon her yaoi fanfics, ye mighty, and despair.)

"Dex?" a stunned Howdy asked, coming out from the bushes. Wide-eyed, Dexter stopped and hid the thing he received behind his back.

"O-oh H-hello Howdy! What's wrong?" he smiled, trying not to panic.

"Whatcha got there eh Dexter?" Howdy smirked, trying to see what Dexter held behind him.

"N-nothing Howdy! It's nothing! Why are you way out here anyway?" Dexter muttered, trying to change the subject.

"I should ask YOU the same question! Runnin' off without a word to us about where ya was goin''! You coulda gotten hurt!" Howdy complained, trying to make Dexter look like a bad ham. (Howdy was fond of trying to dress people up to look like spoiled food. One time Stan ate a piece of his strawberry cake and for weeks afterwards, Howdy made him wear a hat that made him look like bad spaghetti.)

"I'm sorry Howdy. I shouldn't have done that. I really am sorry..." he plopped on the ground and hugged his little package tightly, sniffling every once in a while. (Every once in a while? Was he sitting there for several minutes?)

"Eh, I didn't mean to sound so mean..." Howdy confessed, but not allowing himself to fall prey to the fact that he liked Dexter as a good friend, not enemies as most would think. (ChibiMizu wiggled in her chair, hopped up on sugary lemonade and shitty German music. Surely, she thought to herself, nobody would ever be so subversive as to suggest that the two characters who argued all the time secretly loved each other. How mad would the audience be, she thought with a giggle and a wiggle, if they all knew they secretly... held hands or whatever she thought gay people did, when they were in a relationship.)

"R-really? Do you mean that Howdy?" Dexter studdered, looking up and as he did, his glasses fell off his nose and dropped in front of Howdy's feet. Howdy kneeled down and took the glasses in his paw.

"Ya know, you look better without your glasses." he smiled, gently placing the beige frames on the wide-eyed Ham-Ham. Dexter's jaw dropped as Howdy placed a pink paw on his cheek and grinned. (This, as far as ChibiMizu was concerned, was the equivalent to a sweaty makeout and some over the pants rubdowns in real life.) "C'mon, we better get back to the others." Dexter fell out of his dreamy state as Howdy said these words and left him behind.

Holding up the package in front of him, he inhaled deeply and smiled, "This stuff sure does the trick!" he quickly looked behind him towards the girl who had since long disappeared and gave her a silent 'thanks' just before he ran off after Howdy. +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ *AN- Ok ok, this would be where normally I say 'TBC' but I dun wanna do that just because I want the first chapter to be sooo much longer than the proloug so...* +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

(I’m glad to hear that ChibiMizu decided to keep writing. I would have been so confused if she just decided to stop.) Still stumped by Dexter's outrageous behavior earlier, Hamtaro sat at the table, next to Oxnard who was equally confused, trying to figure out the problem with their Ham-Ham friends and their humans.

"Do you think that Dexter caught the same disease as Laura and Kana?" Oxnard interuped the thinking Hamtaro. (”You know, the one that makes people move slowly and feed their pets?”)

"Could be! I wonder... is this disease or whatever it is, could be catching??!!" he worried, not wanting to have a disease that could make him laugh at Howdy's jokes. He shuddered at the thought. (Hamtaro was secretly a bit of a dick, to his friends.)

"I sure hope not! I don't want to be sick like Kana!"

"Why not?"

"Well," the hamster played with his sunflower and fidgeted. "She sang and danced around her room and kept saying 'I love her!' and it was VERY scary..." he sighed, blushing.

"Wait! 'I love her'???!!! Are you sure Oxxy?"

"Positive! It was very weird."

"Oh, that MIGHT be the key! Laura did the same thing!"

"That's kinda strange, considering that they're both female humans.”

"Oh yeah! I thought that Laura liked male humans!" (Hamtaro’s eyes widened. Crap. What if one of the symptoms was calling people male and female humans, like an alien? At this point, nothing could be ruled out as not being a symptom!)

"Same with Kana! I wonder what---" the duo's confusing conversation was abruptly interrupted as everybody else in the clubhouse quickly ran over to Stan. (No matter what crises the Ham-Hams faced, they always stopped to observe the 10:45 “Everybody Run Over to Stan” ritual. It was a tradition that brought them all closer together. Mostly literally.)

"What happened?" Hamtaro asked, pushing through the crowd.

"He just all of a sudden his nose started bleeding!" Pashmina stated, pointing to the blushing Stan who was now trying to cover up the blood. (Hamster blood. The hamster blood. The hamster blood. The fucking hamster bl-)

"It's nothing Ham-dudes! Nothing at all!" he managed out wiping the blood from his nose on his arm, averting his gaze from Maxwell.

"Here," the taller Ham-Ham smiled, handing over a small cloth to wipe up the mess.

"Eheh... thanks Maxwell..." he took the cloth and managed a smile before turning away from him and wiping it up.

"Well that was... different." Hamtaro said, returning with Oxnard to the table.

"Uh oh! Do you think that Stan caught the disease??!!" Oxnard asked, moving slightly farther from Stan. (So, running tally, here. The symptoms of this “disease” include: moving slowly, singing, giving people free food, finding jokes funny, keeping a minimum distance from girls and... nosebleeds. Somebody call the CDC, we’ve got a confirmed case of Nothing Fever, here!)

"I dunno, but whatever it is, I don't want it!" Hamtaro moved too, both now on the other side of the room. "Now about Kana and Laura..." *With the girl Hams* "Oh that was THE funniest thing EVER!!!" Sandy laughed, holding her sides. (”Fucking ‘Aristocrats!’ It gets me every time!”)

"I do not see what is so funny about your brother bleeding from his nose!" Bijou frowned, confused as heck.

"Oh Bijou! It's the power of hentai thoughts! If bad enough, you get a bloody nose! Hahahaa!!!" she laughed harder from t he dumfounded look on Bijou's face. (Sandy always considered her brother’s libido to be hilarious. Frankly speaking, the other Hams considered her keen interest to be a bit... creepy.)

"H-h-hentai????!!!!" she frowned more, glancing at the still blushing Stan who was moving away from Maxwell. "There is no way that--!" she then thought of the Stan that she knew. "Then again..." she chuckled, then started laughing along with Sandy. 

"What's so funny girls?" Maxwell asked coming over to them, making a nervous Stan move to the other side of the room near Oxnard and Hamtaro who in turn moved to the other side of the room. "Do you know what was wrong with Stan? Or Hamtaro and Oxnard for that matter?"

"Well, not about Oxxy and Hamtaro but Stan..." they again started a round of merciless laughing.

"Um... what about Stan? Is that the reason you're over here laughing your heads off?" Maxwell asked, raising an eyebrow.

"The POWER of hentai thoughts!! AHAHAaaa!!!" Sandy managed out, rolling around on the ground.

"Wh-what??!!!" Maxwell asked, falling to the ground on his butt. (There was much power in that shout of POWER!)

"Awe Maxwell! You heard her! When you think hentai thoughts, your nose bleeds!" Bijou piped in, breathing deep from lack of air while laughing.

(”Actually,” Maxwell said, “that’s a bit of a mis-characterization. While it’s certainly a thing in Japanese culture that nosebleeds are considered a symbol of excitement, it’s only within certain very limited genres of their animation that it’s come to be accepted as a signal of arousal. And considering that there’s really no evidence that the heightened blood pressure... no, wait, sorry. Let me just stop being the smart guy, here. It’d be pissing straight into the wind.”)

"Oh my, that's well..." Maxwell tried to think of something intelligent to say but the fact that Stan was over there with hentai thoughts erased all memory temporarily.

"Heh, I wonder who about!" Sandy completely stopped laughing and thought about this. (The others felt red flags raise, at the thought of Sandy giving serious thought about her brother’s taste in sexual partners. It was turning into the Christmas party, all over again.)

"I don't know... well..." Bijou joined in thinking leaving Maxwell stumped at this.

"Oh my gosh..." the color drained from Sandy's face as she looked from Maxwell to Stan to Bijou.

"Is that possible? But he knows that you... Oh my..." Bijou said, realizing that Stan was keeping his distance from Maxwell. In a matter of seconds, both Ham's glared daggers at Stan who was now pounding his head on the wall. (Aww, Stan, buddy. I’ve been there. It helps to think about baseball.)

"Who?" Maxwell asked, cocking his head to one side in question.

"Well... we'll um... tell ya later, after we talk to Stan to make sure we're right..." (Sandy was going to solve this matter in-house. No brother of hers was going to be giving his body to no boy ham. Not while she had some blackmail material left over from last Christmas.)

 Sandy, still glaring, stood up and headed over to Stan, with Bijou right behind her. Still stumped at this whole thing, he stood up and headed over to Hamtaro and Oxnard who were just a little ways away, thinking maybe they knew what was going on with Stan. To be continued... +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ ChibiMizu: NOW its the end of chapter 1!! CheeseMaster: Eh, you DO know it's not nice to confuse the readers... ChibiMizu: Yeah it is! Whatchu talkin' 'bout Willis? (You do not meme your way out of this, lady!) CheeseMaster: Eheh... ChibiMizu: Well, I think everybody out there gets the gist of where this is going... Review and inform me of stuff... ^.^() Buh-byes!!

(Okay. Fine. Good. It’s over, for now. This was a terrible idea. I don’t think anything good came out of this. Well, except for that one thing. Somebody really needs to write “The Ham Who Was Thursday.” That’s gonna be my takeaway from this adventure.)