#no cuz the red flags from this bitch keeps adding up

[fapper]

not this bitch saying its "common sense" for a mistake i did during my job omg 😭 my bad i dont have common sense!!!!! my bad IM A LITTLE SLOW. as you can tell

[cottoncandyreaper]

(Heisenberg's Child part3)

This place was a maze! How would anyone live in it!? I kept getting turned around repeatedly and it was really starting to become a bother. I'd turn left and have to go right or right then have to take a left; it was a horror maze.

"Hey kiddo~ you don't know this place like I do so I suggest to stop running."

"Shut up old man!"

The echo of a growl bounced against the walls as I kept on wherever I could to get away and hopefully out all together. I could hear more footfalls catching up with me rapidly; assuming lycans as I grabbed anything metal near by and threw it behind me. Right at the throw as the item left my control something like static hit me in my back sending me down to my knees. It made my arms feel like rubber and hurt my head.

"Aww~ all pooped out of energy there? Sucks to be a kid huh?"

Heisenberg had caught up way to quick reaching down grabbing my arm with a tough yank only to twist me around and put me in a head lock as Mother Miranda seemed to only appear from the shadows that dripped around the edges of the hallway with the others approaching not long after. I latched my hands on his arm clenching at the fabric of his coat giving the strongest yanks I could muster as the smell of oil and cigar smoke filled my nostrils: he didn't budge.

"You've caused a vast amount of damage in the span of thirty minutes already dear."

The last word held venom as she reached out grabbing my face, a stinging sensation pricked my cheeks letting me know that her nails had left their marks.

"You will do best as to listen and behave...you are my granddaughter...I'd like to keep you around as such, being apart of this family will be your salvation child so hold it tight."

She released my cheeks as the stinging persistenced against reddened flesh while she walked away as the others moved to the sides letting her pass.

"Heisenberg I'm sure you will be able to place some much needed manners into your daughter. I trust you to handle any more tantrums from her."

"Of course Mother."

Those were the final words as he turned from the group still choosing to keep me in a headlock and left them but what pissed me off the most was that we turned down two simple hallways and out a door then we were outside. What the hell!? I was so close!! But now that we were outside the struggling intensified trying to wrestle away but the more I struggled the less air I had.

"I can't kill you...but I'll knock ya out to make it a quiet trip back home, choose your poison."

"G-get the f-fuck off me! This is...bullshit!"

"Yeah I know but now you're just shit out of luck and until Mother Miranda does whatever she wants with you you're stuck with your old man till then."

"Y-your not my dad...my dad, died in war!"

He went silent as the walking picked back up down a hill towards a large iron gate with a crest in the front and back of it. There were too many details going on for me to care.

"Don't touch the gate...I'll cut your hands off if you try."

"Bet."

Releasing my hand from his sleeve reaching out towards the old hinges holding the gate up he didn't even have time to grab my wrist when a pain filled gasp crumbled my legs making him drop me as the static filled my bones to the brim.

"What the hell was that? Dropping you on the ground fuck up your back?"

"N-no..."

The static was lingering longer then normal but I guess trying to use my abilities to soon after the first attack was a big no go.

"Looks like your other 'family' locked up your full potential...they were scared of you even as a child."

I sent up a glare his way as he grabbed my arm focusing me to my feet ignoring the very obvious fact that I was having a hard time walking until the static left.

"Hate to break it to ya kid but I can prove I'm your dad rather you want me to be or not...and I really don't want to be but now we're stuck together because of it."

"Oh well that just sounds so delighful."

"Your attitude is annoying."

"Your face is annoying."

I could see his eye just barely look at me from the corner.

"Really? That's the best come-back you got?"

"For now sure."

He grumbled a few chose words forcing the rest of the walk into silence which honestly was just fine with me. I was tired and in pain...the silence was a blessing but the walk was long and kinda hard since he never let loose the hold on my arm until what felt like hours later and we stood infront of a similar giant gate with a different crest on it depicting a horse. He used his ability to open it, walk past it and closed it once more before choosing to let go.

"Walk straight up to that factory kid, this time the playing field is even ground."

"Sure, I'd love nothing more then to be in a factory full of metal with you, sounds like a great playing field."

"Oh it will be."

Giving a shove to my shoulder I started on up the hill watching as the size of the factory became more intimidating the closer we got.

"You live here?"

"Yep."

"Ya know isn't it a oh I don't know...a bad idea to have me here with all the metal? Sure, let's go with the thought that maybe you are my dad and I didn't get these abilities out of no where but ya know...metal. Isn't that a red flag for a prisoner?"

"Damn I wish you'd stop talking."

"Damn I wish you'd answer a simple question!"

He growled kicking the back of my knee sending me down to the dirt and rocks adding blood to my jeans from the inside.

"Listen here ya little shit; we're doing a fucking DNA test once I get you pass those doors, I hate to believe that in all of hell I'd be the lucky old bastard to somehow become a father 'cuz I sure didn't ask for you. Secondly; I control metal. You control metal. You cant fight what you can't win against and obviously you have a limit and I don't...I'd kill you in a second in this factory if that crazy bitch didn't want you for whatever sick reason she has in her mind. So shut the fuck up, get up and get in the factory."

Tears were stinging the corners of my eyes as I mustered the strength to get up dusting off my pants a bit before crossing my arms and started back up the hill. He was right...he could kill me in seconds and I had a limit. I was fucked either way until Chris found me. He rushed me too and through the doors quickly as lycans began watching from the fields around...that was unnerving. Getting pass them via Heisenberg and his newly found shoving nature I felt a little bit more of my hope cut away as my eyes stared at everything around. This place was huge, much bigger then it appeared from the outside with stairs leading to unknown destinations and doors sprinkled about.

"Come on kid, we have shit to figure out."

Grabbing my wrist almost to the breaking point he pulled me along to a elevator that had definitely seen better days as we stood inside its rusted cage and he smacked the shit out of whatever button he needed to get it moving miraculously. It was a rough start but smoothed out as it made its grand descent away from probably the only exit I'd ever see.

"Are you really going to make me do a DNA test?"

"Damn right I am and didn't I tell you to shut the fuck up?"

"Little conversation never hurt anyone pops."

[anastasiaskarsgard]

X marks the spot !!!!

Part 8- Brooke POV

End of summer

Smut, cussing, drugs, drama, errors, mention of abuse, bullying, etc

I really did have to pee.

I made a beeline for the bathroom and locked the door behind me. Wtf did Lily want to talk about? Mark didn’t want her!

Suddenly I remembered Marks’ seemingly innocent question (at the time) about fighting a girl for him.

Jesus.

Having a hot ass boyfriend had its downsides. I checked myself over in the mirror, and tied my hair back in a bun, just in case it popped off with this Lily girl. Might as well apply some mascara and lipstick too. I only was wearing a bathing suit, but not much I could do about that now.

I walked out of the bathroom to find Bex and Lily having a heated, yet quiet discussion. Lily had a phone out, while Bex was trying to make her put it away. Bex didn’t want me to see it. Lily did. I was a little curious, but before I could say anything Mark stormed in the room.

“What the fuck is this?” Mark yelled at nobody in particular.

All three of us froze and looked at Mark. With it being quiet now, I could hear the audio playing on the phone. It almost sounded like Mark’s voice.... Ok, now I was real fucking curious.

Lily and my eyes met, and I couldn’t help but notice just how utterly desperate and sad she looked. I felt a pang of pity for her. It must have been hard losing Mark. I wonder what happened between them.

Shit, what had Bex said?

Bex grabbed Lily’s hand and pulled her past Mark. If looks could kill, then Lily would have been struck dead by the nastiest glare, I’d ever seen Mark produce. He looked positively livid. This was that Mark I hadn’t recognized from earlier. I hope I never was on the receiving end of one of these looks...

“I’ll take Lily downstairs, and you guys probably wanna talk. Don’t fuck in my bed or break anything.” Bex said with a warning tone and closed the door.

Mark looked pissed. He wasn’t moving, but his gaze followed me as I walked to the bathroom. I wasn’t sure what to say.

On the one hand, he’d resisted his ex for me. But on the other hand, what was that video, and why was she trying to show me? Would I be betraying my fellow females if I just let it go? Why did Bex want to keep it from me?

I didn’t know what to do, so I got my make up out and started to touch it up. Any girl will tell you, a lot of decisions are made, touching up their make up.

“Baby? Why were you hanging out with her?” Mark walked in the bathroom and held me around my waist and rested his head on my shoulder, carefully watching my reaction to his question.

“She followed me up, and I just literally came out of the bathroom when you showed up. She wanted to show me something on her phone, but Bex wouldn’t allow it. No big deal.” I shrugged.

His face fell, and he looked like he was about to cry. The desperation in his eyes and utter panic broke my heart. Whatever was in that video was, it had him freaked out.

“Did you guys make a porno or something?” I teased flicking my eyes up to his, to gauge his reaction now.

“Brooke, I am so sorry, I was young, and it seemed cool at the time but ...

My stomach flipped, and I DID NOT want to hear this, so I turned around and kissed him to shut him up. “I love you,” I said without pulling our lips apart.

“I love you. I love you. I love you.” Mark kept saying over and over as he kissed me all over my face. I giggled, and he looked me straight in the eyes and it took my breath away. He is so beautiful. “You’re mine. I never want to lose you. I only want you ever.” He looked so sincere.

He picked me up and sat me on the bathroom vanity untying my swim bottoms and moving my bathing suit top triangles over, so my breasts were completely exposed. He was so gentle and careful, licking each nipple while looking up at me.

He stood up and gently held my face in both hands and kissed me passionately, letting out a sexy little groan before stepping back and looking at me. “I love you so much. It makes me almost crazy. I never felt this way for anyone. I almost had a fucking meltdown when I saw you with her. Promise me you won’t be friends with her or any of her fucking friends. Promise.”

“Mark.... you're ridiculous.” I giggled trying to pull him back in, but he wouldn’t budge.

He glared at me and in a low almost threatening tone he said through gritted teeth, “promise. Me. Now.”

“Ooooh or what?” I teased with a big shitty smile on my face.

Before I could even react, he grabbed me by my arm and dragged me over to the bed, roughly slinging me down, as he got on top of me. No smily or playful Mark. I wasn’t scared, because I believed in my heart he’d never hurt me, but I was alarmed with this behavior.

“Bex said not to fuck on her bed,” I said in an effort to lighten the mood, and maybe change the subject.

“You think that’s what I wanna do? Fuck you? Why? Cuz you’re a fucking whore? You’re like your new fucking whore besties?” He seethed.

“Mark, why are you acting this way? When did I become a whore?” I’d never been so confused in my life. Where on earth was this coming from all of a sudden?

“I don’t know! That’s a good fucking question!!! I thought you were my sweet, perfect, baby girl, ride or die!!! I thought that you wanted to make me happy, and never would lie to me, or cheat on me, but now I bring you to one fucking party, and you are getting buddy-buddy with my fucking ex! WHY DONT YOU MAKE A FUCKING VIDEO GRINDING ON THOSE BITCHES? WHILE MAKING OUT IN BATHING SUITS? YOU MIGHT GET A FEW HUNDRED LIKES! Hashtag FUCKING SLUTS!” Mark screamed in my face at the end there.

I couldn’t help it, I was trying to hold back tears and catch my breath, but the more he went on, it just got worse, and I burst out crying.

Mark immediately went from menacing glare, to concerned puppy dog eyes. “Oh, my god baby! Baby! Look at me, don’t cry. I love you. I’m sorry. I’m drunk.”

I couldn’t look at him. I don’t know why I was straight up hysterically crying, choking and heaving, but I was, and I wasn’t going to look at him.

He got off of me and paced back and forth, grabbing his head. After a few minutes. I looked over at him, and he was coming towards me with tissues.

He took some out, and picked me up like a baby and sat on the bed, cradling me in his arms. This was my Mark. He looked so loving and caring and He was so pretty.

I bet I looked terrible and crazy. I couldn’t remember why I even got so upset. I hated fighting with him. I couldn’t think straight.

All I knew is, I needed Mark to want me still. Looking back, this probably was a huge red flag, and I should of got my shit and left. But I was an idiot over him. “Mark?” My voice was all raspy from my crying fit.

He looked in my eyes, and I could feel the panic returning as a lump rose in my throat... “What is it, beautiful girl?”

I started to shake with sobs again, but he brought our faces together, and he kissed me hungrily, boogers, tears and all.

He stood up still kissing me and carried me back in the bathroom, setting me back on the counter.

“I’m so sorry, Brooke, I’m so sorry.” He peppered kisses all over my face.

He stepped back and looked me over as I tried to hide my face. He took my chin and moved my face up, looking in my eyes adoringly. “you are the most beautiful fucking bitch on the motherfucking planet, and you’re all mine. I’m sorry I acted like a dick. You gotta listen, I love you so much, I go crazy.”

He began kissing me again, moving down my chest. He started to suck on one breast while he toyed with the other with his hand. Biting and licking my nipple, and then blowing on it, so it was at attention. Then he switched Breasts and took that hand and put it into my core. I was so turned on his fingers slipped in easily. He let out his sexy Mark growl, and I reached for his cock. I was shocked how I could go from hysterical basket-case, to bitch in heat in no time flat, But I wanted him so bad.

“Ah, ah. Not yet. I want to taste my perfect little pussy first.”

He spread my legs and got on his knees and went to work, all while his gorgeous green eyes peered up at me. He added his hand to the equation and I was now on the brink.

“ you going to come for me baby?”

I nodded quickly grabbing his hair and pushing his face back into my pussy. I was so close, I couldn’t stand it anymore. I grabbed him by his hairagain, and pulled him up, crushing his mouth with a kiss as he freed himself, and shoved himself deep inside me.

“Oh my god baby. I love this pussy, is it my pussy?” He whimpered in my ear as he slammed into me. So desperate and eager. I’d never felt so wanted in my life as I did right then.

He pulled his face back, so he could fully see me, while still thrusting at a feverish pace. He grabbed my face gently and looked deep in my eyes. Searching my eyes, for something, he suddenly grabbed my bun, forcing my head back, so I was looking straight up.

Biting my collarbone, his thrusts were becoming very erratic, and I knew he was close. I knew just what to say, to push him over the edge;

“I’m yours.”

“I want to put a baby in you,” Mark said.

“Wait. What?” I asked, eyes big as dinner plates, snapping my head back down to meet his eyes.

“I want you to have my baby.”

I couldn’t believe what he was saying, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say it was so hot. He didn’t mean it, and was just caught up in the moment, so I just played along.

“You wanna be a Daddy for real? Put a baby inside me, so we are yours forever? Then Cum inside me, Mark.” I said breathlessly.

His mouth fell open, and he bit my swollen lower lip. I grabbed the back of his head and sloppily made out with him as He convulsed and stuttered his load deep inside me. He let out a loud “fuck” and twitched to a stop, letting out a big exhale.

He pressed his forehead to mine, smiling. “Let’s just stay like this forever.” He whispered.

“Bex might get mad.”

“Nah, she’s cool, and we’re sexy. Who wouldn’t want to see us every time they go to the bathroom?”

I giggled and pushed him back, sliding him out of me, and hopped off the counter. He walked over to the shower and turned it on. I felt his cum dripping down my leg, so I hopped in and rinsed off. I turned around to find him staring intensely at me.

“I meant everything I said.” He said kissing my forehead.

I didn’t think he’d bring it up, so I didn’t know what to say. Not really able to process what he was saying in my intoxicated state, I went with my auto-response of “oh baby.”

He looked down at me Green eyes flashing, and his swollen lips parted just a little bit. His hair was falling into his face, and he seemed so vulnerable and pure.

He needed me to protect him. Fuck Lily. My beautiful baby was different, and no one was going to make me love him less.

Oh boy, I really do love him.

“Why do you want a kid so bad?”I asked curiously.

“I don’t want a kid as much as I just want to own you. Let everyone know I fucked you, and I’m the only one that gets to, and here’s my proof.”

“That’s got to be the least romantic answer, I’ve ever heard.”

“Plus imagine how fucking cute they’d be. Get off the birth control and let’s try.”

“Mark! You’re tripping. We are too young and I’m not going anywhere.” I wrapped my arms around him and snuggled into his chest.

After getting no response, I looked up into Marks eyes and was perplexed by his expression. He had the most expressive eyes but sometimes they were impossible to read. This was one of those times. “Look how beautiful my boyfriend is.” I said with a big cheesy smile.

He cracked a half hearted smile. “I love you so much Brooke. I don’t know how to handle it. I’m obsessed with you.” He rubbed his nose against mine.

Time to lay it on thick. I was taking advantage of this moment! This was the type of stuff you read about, or saw in movies, but right here, right now, I was living it. “Mark I love you. You couldn’t get rid of me, if you tried.”

He smiled warmly down at me. “I love you more princess.” He embraced me rocking back and forth for a few moments and I just looked in the mirror at us, and then at my face. Boy did I look rough. I needed like a whole new face of make up, and all I had was mascara and lip gloss. Maybe Bex would let me—

“Baby, What are you thinking about?” He interrupted my thoughts.

Shit. Better not say eyeshadow.

. “Just how lucky I am to have a boyfriend that’s as madly in love with me as I am him.” Okay, so maybe that was bullshit, but it was true. Before Mark, I didn’t believe I could feel so strongly for someone, and they would feel the same.

He released me and turned off the water before handing me a towel and getting out. He dried off quickly and got dressed while I was still drying my hair. He grabbed my bathing suit bottoms and tied them back on me, double knotting each side. He grabbed a brush and started to brush my hair.

“I feel like one of those monkeys on the Discovery Channel. How are you at eyeliner?”

“I love making MY baby the prettiest girl in all of America... maybe even the world.” He did a cheesy Dr. Evil laugh, and then we both just started laughing like idiots. The more I tried to stop, the worse the laughing fit became.

Finally able to breathe again, he took my hand and lead me downstairs. If I hadn’t been so crazy in love, I might have noticed the infuriated glare from the petite blonde on the couch. Or maybe I’d have caught Bex’s worried face, as she looked between Bex and us. But I didn’t catch any of that.

All I could see, was Mark.

[anxiety-trademark]

The week in review:

Raw 11/16 NXT 11/18 NXT UK 11/19 Smackdown 11/20 Survivor Series 11/22

Raw:

Appreciate Lana providing logic to the creation of this match.

“Is this a Disney movie” lmao.

Honestly Shayna works better as a henchman than as a final boss.

Love Lana’s theme btw.

rip Mandy.

Ugly kick by Asuka. Not a compliment.

hahaha Lana tagged herself into the match while Shayna had Asuka in the clutch. hahahahah.

“You suck, get out” rofl.

Asuka you’re trash for not saving Lana. Truly.

“I’m actually really proud of you, you showed a lot of courage tonight.” Nia is funny. A bitch and a bully, sure, but funny.

There’s number 9. rip.

First of all, Dana’s shaky interview was going really well, and I wish they had let her finish it cuz god knows she needs the practice.

Second, WHY IS MIA YIM ATTACKING DANA OF ALL PEOPLE?

I’m not sorry, I shamelessly love Bray and Alexa together, goodbye.

“Your word is... jackass” lmaooo why is he even doing a spelling bee to prep for this match.

rip Rambling Rabbit for the 38th time.

What makes him being killed so damn demented is not only the way he exhibits agony and suffering as he dies, but the way they STAND BY LAUGHING UNCONTROLLABLY. This is the definition of sociopathy.

“Bullseye!” “More like... Rabbit’s heart!” *continues laughing hysterically* jfc.

Really love how Alexa puts her hand beneath her chin and then waves. That goes along with her characteristics developed since the fairy gimmick in nxt back in 2014/2015, to the cosplaying mean girl in 2016/2017/2018, to the babyface in 2019/2020. Also adds another layer with her gloves. Love that.

Nikki’s wandering around looking for Alexa, when clearly she should be looking for the Firefly Funhouse. I suggest asking Seth or Randy.

“Friends never give up on each other,” they also don’t give each other ultimatums cuz that’s toxic af, but okay.

She keeps running her mouth about Fiend and I can already see Alexa demolishing her for it.

LOVE the cohesion in going from one segment to the other as Sarah runs around looking for an interview. Fitting since that’s obviously her job, but it went together smoothly. They really come off as tmz lol.

I appreciate how Miz doesn’t want to fuck with Bray cuz he knows Bray will just torment his family lol. I also appreciate his reasoning because he’s a true opportunist. he doesn’t want to exhaust himself with this match cuz he might cash in later.

Love Alexa’s remixed theme, it’s jarring af. Walking red flag btw.

Oh nooo Nikki what are you doinggg.

I’m not a fan of how Nikki sold this interaction. Didn’t feel natural at all.

OH SHIT the sound of that slap, oof.

Oh my god I love how Bray came out and glared at Nikki. FANTASTIC. Absolute gold. Then he just smiles at Alexa as she takes his arm to escort him to the ring.

And the way the camera focuses back on Miz and Morrison... Miz’s face... I can’t, this is tremendous tbh. What a great story to run throughout this week’s Raw.

lmfao the way Alexa stuck her head between the ropes to scare Morrison. Ugh this pairing is easily my favorite thing in wwe rn.

Interesting, so Bray protects her. A fair duo.

I will never not cringe at watching people pretend to break someone’s neck by twisting it to the side. If I was a wrestler, that’s a move I would NEVER allow to be done to me.

On the plus side, Alexa took out Morrison and he sold it really fucking well. On the negative, it seems that distracted Bray as he’s more concerned for her well being now.

Oh my god the way Alexa reappears from behind the barricade. Creepy as shit.

Love watching her “balance” on the barricade considering she was one hell of a gymnast in her day.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for watching Lacey progress in the ring, cuz I think her character work is just fantastic, but holy shit what a downgrade going from Mandy and Dana to Lacey and Peyton.

Why is she excited? Why is it exciting to fight Sasha? Maybe Asuka should’ve taken that match a bit more seriously, considering the outcome. But I’m jumping ahead of myself.

“No one is ready for Asuka,” except for Charlotte, Becky, Shayna, Alexa, Sasha...

I do appreciate how Lacey isn’t scared of anyone while Peyton is wary of literally everyone. That’s good. Nia has a point though, y’all could’ve used Mandy. I guess it doesn’t matter though, considering the outcome. Jumping ahead of myself again.

“Worst idea since Quibi” lmao shots fired.

*Bonus* Peyton/Lacey online exclusive: they vibe real well off script. Peyton made points saying she can’t wait to teach Lacey how to be on a team. That’s valid cuz Lacey is NOT much of a team player. Points to Lacey though, she’s funny as hell.

Highlight: Alexa Bliss

---

NXT:

Awesome hearing War Pigs during that Shotzi promo. Is that the official theme song for War Games? If so, baller to wwe for shelling that cash out.

I’m guessing Shotzi was fixing her tank? Was that the premise? Regardless, the setting was different and interesting.

I really like the fencing around nxt’s ringside. Fits with the grungy “indie” feel.

God I’m gonna have to watch Candice defeat Kayden and Kacy aren’t I?

Indi bought the Garganos a flat screen tv? :/ mk. What does she have to gain? Johnny was an AWFUL champion and Candice has never even held gold. What is she hoping to accomplish?

“Indi is gaining one of the best mentors in the nxt locker room” lmao WHAT.

omg Kacy and Kayden are so fucking entertaining, I feel like I say this every time I watch them. All tag teams need to TAKE. NOTES. Look at that cohesion and teamwork. Whew.

Hold on don’t try to retcon Tegan as leaving Candice’s side. I hate Tegan even more than I hate Candice, and she was a shite friend to Dakota by proxy of being a spineless dweeb, but do not try to paint Candice as the victim in her feud with Tegan.

I know nothing about the Dakota/Candice friendship but I’d go ahead and blame Dakota since she’s hella douchey lmao.

Imagine thinking Indi is an upgrade from Dakota. Commentary is super funny and distracting tonight lmao.

Was that not a flatliner? Sure looked like an intended flatliner.

So Kacy attempts to kill herself in the process of taking out Indi and none of the cameras caught it? :/ we still using interns looking for college credits in production? Is that what’s happening??

Vic is kind of an awful commentator in his actual calls. “Nice suplex, almost a brainbuster��� better hope that was a brainbuster cuz if not, that was the saddest fucking suplex I’ve ever seen in my life.

So Kacy almost kills herself using offense against Indi and Indi was coherent first? Ugh anyway.

Why do we have to listen to Ember speak every week? What a terrible idea.

So now she’s gonna be nxt’s savior by getting rid of Dakota and Raquel? Oh for fuck’s sake.

Why does she have fucking soda tabs on her gear still.

Why is she teaming with Toni. I THOUGHT THEY WERE HEELS. Seriously, am I the dumb one? Am I the one who needs their hand held? Has Ember not been acting like a heel since she returned? Am I the only one confused about Toni’s alignment??

“We’ve fallen victim to the numbers game” WHEN have you fallen victim to the numbers game, Toni? WHO WROTE THIS.

I know nxt wants me to give a shit about Ember and Toni, but good luck making me care about anyone down there more than Dakota or Rhea.

I would really appreciate it if Dakota was moved up to the MR without actually showing any dissention from Raquel.

Dakota calls a lot of matches, I’ve noticed. Pro shit.

Toni’s German suplexes are amazing if she’s actually never hurt anyone, cuz MAN they look gnarly af.

Gorgeous tornado ddt by Ember. Nice speed, great handling by Raquel.

Don’t Dakota and Toni have quite the history? From UK?

Today in wrestling commentary: Vic cannot tell the difference between left and right.

Whoa I just noticed Dakota isn’t wearing her knee brace. That’s kind of monumental, right? Isn’t that a big deal? I feel like that’s a big deal.

Honestly I might like Toni more than Ember. She comes off as a lot more likable since her move to nxt.

Oh Christ I gotta see Candice again. 

Hi why isn’t this main eventing? Do Rhea fucking Ripley and Io fucking Shirai not deserve it?? For real???

Hate it when refs hold the title up crooked. Noob.

Holy shit Io’s speed is TOP. TIER. Whew.

And then slips on the turnbuckle, sad. Could’ve been worse, could’ve been a Shotzi wipeout (and that’s what I’m gonna call it from now on)

What Io has in speed, Rhea has in strength, these are the facts.

Why did Vic cut Beth off by saying exactly what she was in the middle of saying? Vic’s losing a lot of points tonight tbh.

oof gnarly German suplex off the second rope by Io.

Oh my, Rhea’s ear is covered in blood. Must have punctured her ear with an earring. Rough. I say this as someone who has her fair share of piercings: it BOGGLES MY MIND why any of these women wrestle with their piercings in lmao. No ma’am.

Brutal match, whew.

Rhea wiped her own blood on her face.

There are some aprons spots with Rhea obviously waiting around that needed some work.

Rhea can sell, certainly, but her screaming is way too dramatic at times. Most notably at wm in the empty arena, but this match is a close second. Almost borders on annoying.

Niiice Rhea adding a nice vortex spin on the tail end of her cloverleaf submission. Points. Keep that.

Oh that Riptide attempt countered into an armbar by Io. BEAUTIFUL.

I liked that. Io goes for the 619 in the middle rope, Rhea ducks. Io goes for the 619 on the lower rope, Rhea dodges. Io strikes her a couple times, Rhea falls to the opposite side of the ring and Io proceeds to hit the 619. Good stuff.

Lol Io’s smiling at Rhea kicking out of the missile dropkick.

Nice flip off of Rhea’s clothesline but I’m not a fan of Io landing her moonsault on her feet. That’s not really her M.O.

Fucking spiked Rhea with a ddt by countering the Riptide again. That’s a solid champion, has her opponent completely scouted.

Beautiful sunset flip powerbomb through the ropes with Rhea landing through a table. Would’ve been cool if Rhea had let go right away, though.

In kf, I give points to Rhea for dragging herself from the rubble just to eat a clean pin. Great match.

Highlight: Io vs Rhea

---

NXT UK:

Wow robbing me of KLR’s entrance. Guess Piper is officially the heel.

Quit calling her a “new” Piper Niven. A slight aggression is hardly “new”

BE CAREFUL WITH KLR’S SNAZZY COAT.

Y’all got tape out? Have we learned nothing from Bayley/Sasha hiac?

CHUCKED A FUCKING RING BELL INTO PIPER’S HEAD LMAO

Ugh headbutt that takes everyone out. Tsk.

Ric who? Charlotte’s dad??

Who do I gotta pay to see KLR vs Becky Lynch in an extreme match?!

KLR rolls away after that fisherman buster on the outside. Smart points.

Alright listen I’m on KLR’s side but WHY IS JINNY OUT HERE

Lol smacked Piper with a ‘no entry’ sign. Haha.

And Piper broke a sign over KLR’s head, followed by puns from the commentators.

rip random guitar.

Match doesn’t have any creative spots really, but they sure know how to utilize random objects.

BRO YOU CAN’T TAKE A STEEL PIPE TO HER KNEE ON CONCRETE, THAT’S HELLA RUDE. KLR lit a fire under Piper’s ass and Piper’s trying to retire her as thanks. Super, super rude.

Fuck her up fam, I don’t even feel bad.

??? Did KLR even land through the table or did she just land straight onto the fucking concrete? Jesus Christ man. No, she didn’t, she slid into the second table and just ate the floor. Oh my god. IS SHE OKAY??

Highlight: That vicious ending gained KLR a lot of respect in my eyes

---

Smackdown:

Imagine being surprised that Adam chose the longest reigning SD women’s champion as his team captain. Granted she’s probably despised by everyone, but she’s got the pedigree, come on now.

Look how good Bayley looks. Whew.

“You know what time it is? Bayley time.” she’s so annoying rofl.

Wow riveting stuff, I have zero comments about this 2 min match tbh.

Go stand in the ring with your damn captain, Bianca.

Lmao Bayley allergic to hugs now. Character progression.

It’s quite the team I’m ngl. I just wish we could’ve wrapped up this Sasha/Bayley shit like... months ago so we could enjoy captain Bayley for a bit longer. Gonna burn through this in one damn episode. It’s a bummer.

*Bonus* Nattie’s online exclusive: “I sailed through some rough waters [...] I’m smart, I’m sexy, I’m funny, I’m rich” She is funny, I will give her that.

We’re getting Asuka/Sasha face to face? For real? Okay.

Cute, Sasha’s smile toward Asuka actually looked genuine. I miss when Sasha seemed genuine. It’s like Bayley killed that part of her.

“Michael are you forgetting what time it is?” BAYLEY TI-- “It is boss time, baby!” welp my mistake.

I’ve played Asuka’s dialogue to Sasha 3x and I still have no idea what she was saying because of her ridiculous fucking dancing and animation. I’m tired. Bayley come take her title.

Omg now she’s doing “you can’t see me” SHE ACCOMPLISHES NOTHING I absolutely despise her being champion.

Actually she is ready for Asuka, and I’m gonna take great joy in watching her win this Sunday. Sasha is hella unlikeable until the moment that bell rings, then she’s a god. Is what it is.

Booo Sasha was actually doing good on the mic, how dare you ruin that, Carmella.

Asuka is awful. Even Becky and Ronda fought off common enemies once upon a time. Asuka helps legit N O B O D Y. Awful champion.

Highlight: Captain Bayley

---

Survivor Series:

Love Sasha’s gear.

Asuka kicked out at one, quick everyone cry about her selling. Oh wait she’s not Charlotte, my bad.

Beautiful attempt at an armbar by Sasha, whew.

Sasha is so good at this whole wrestling thing lol.

Nice pop up from that backstabber.

Right and in contrast, Asuka is an amazing striker.

Oh a codebreaker to Sasha as she dangles from the second rope. Gorgeous move.

Ahhhh the blue haired god got the job done. I knew she’d win but it’s so gratifying to see.

Not much to say about the match. The spots weren’t brutal or super creative/innovative, but it had GREAT back and forth and really showcased their chemistry in technical wrestling. Also might very well have been the best match they’ve had yet, seemed pretty short though. Still, an enjoyable watch. Good for Sasha.

Lol the disdain in Nia’s face as she looks at Lana.

Look, Bayley’s arm band says ‘captain’ so she’s the captain.

Love seeing how creative people get with their gear at Survivor Series, as opposed to just throwing a damn brand shirt on. Looking at you, 2016.

One thing I’ve learned about Bayley is if she calls you sister, she genuinely likes you behind the scenes. So glad to see Lacey is in her good graces.

Omg Lacey learned how to do a kip up, everybody clap.

Love how the light shines off of Nattie’s gear. Got rainbows popping.

Squatting while stalling a suplex, and synchronized kip ups. Bianca and Nattie are fun.

“Bayley and the great Becky Lynch,” Oh shit, peep that RESPECT we’re putting on her name now? She gets ‘the great’?? wwe finally seeing her on the same level as ‘the great’ Charlotte Flair??? I am shook. Good for her, fucking deserved (also poor Bayley rofl)

Lana tags herself in again lmao. Nia 5 seconds from killing her. Look, Lana tries. Let her try.

I can’t breathe. she been put in timeout.

(referring to a move by Peyton) “I give that a perfect 10“ PPPFFFFTTTT

What a bump by Bayley; a suplex off the top rope onto the entire roster on the outside, and what a great locker room leader to be checking on everyone IMMEDIATELY as if she didn’t just fucking take a massive bump. Also poor Lana standing over there watching the fun lol.

Now I already knew Peyton pinned Bayley cuz of the outrage by Bayley fans who deemed her “buried” afterward, but I think it was a poor decision to have Peyton get that pin. Peyton sucks, not sorry. Have Lacey get that pin before Peyton. Actually, have Lana get that pin before Peyton.

Not sure what Nattie was going for with that submission to Peyton, but she improvised real quick. So points.

Doesn’t Nattie usually wear wrist guards? Awkward seeing her without them.

Goes for a sharpshooter on a woman who’s not even active rn. I’m removing her points lmao.

I legit never get to see Bianca’s 450 splash and you know what? Fuck y’all.

Well Bianca’s a great partner to do a Spanish Fly with so, good on Lacey.

That’s an interesting elimination. Ruby would’ve pinned Shayna as she had rolled back and reversed the Clutch, but the ref was distracted by Nia. By the time he started counting, Ruby had passed out. Interesting.

Crucifix Bomb by Liv eliminates Lacey, fucking dope.

Having Bianca as the last survivor on her team is great for Bianca. This is a compliment from management.

BEAUTIFUL catch by Shayna into the Clutch. Wow that was nice.

Ah we redoing the spot from their Takeover match, IE my introduction to Bianca. Solid.

Oh this is good. Bianca passed out from the Clutch while on the ropes so Shayna was disqualified. Nia drug Bianca out of the ring to put her through the announce table and they started brawling until they were both counted out. 

Again, I knew Lana was the sole survivor but seeing it happen is fucking hilarious. Nice protection for Bianca though, and seeing Nia this pissed off is so cathartic.

Highlight: Bianca was the real standout imo

---

*Survivor Series shined the brightest as we had both a great technical match, and a fun, entertaining multiwoman match filled with shenanigans. If that’s a cop out, then I’ll give it to NXT this week.