#no creative captions JUST me thinking so hard about these three that i throw up

[transannabeth]

some polaroids from emmy's scrapbook

[living-dead-parker]

New Girl

Summary: Request - Can you do an imagine where your Tony’s daughter and there’s this new girl intern whose trying to outdo you so u feel like the avengers don’t really need you because you think she’s smarter and prettier than you .. thanks :)

What? I actually wrote something??

Warnings: cussing probably, slight angst, real ooc shit but idc man

Word Count: 4.5k ooh she long

You're not a jealous person. Really, you'd always felt jealousy was an ugly color. Unfortunately for you, everybody would describe you as such at the moment. Though in your defense, it's not jealousy. It's a case of fraud!

"Good job, Ally," your dad congratulates the intern. she'd originally been a temp. A seasonal temp for the Spring. Well, spring was over three months ago. In fact, Fall is approaching and it seems like she'll still be here for at least another three months. You scowl inwardly, tired of hearing her name. " We're all meeting in20 to discuss the Halloween charity event," Tony says and your eyes widen. She was definitely not invited to that meeting! "Meet us in conference room B, please?"

It's not that you don't like temps or interns. In fact, you've become great friends with a lot of them over the years. It's just something about Ally. She's a total suck up and she's totally stealing your place. Before she came along, the team would come to you for suit and tech upgrades. They'd go to you for advice on combat in regards to their suits or tech. But ever since Ally came around, she's taken over that. The team goes to her now and they seem to like her better for it as the last person to have stepped into your lab was your dad, three days ago to ask you if you could consult with Ally. Before that was Peter about a month and a half before that to hang out. It's been a while. Then you'd been placed to work on some SI renewable energy source project but then that responsibility went to Ally as well. Ultimately, you didn't have much to do, so you started, unknown to anybody but yourself, dabbling in the fashion industry and took up witchcraft because you have the time.

Before you even hear her response, you turn around and head out towards the elevators. Along the way, you find yourself bumping into Peter. He's quick to apologize despite the fact that you were the one not watching where you were going.

" Peter?" you call out confused. Why he's even on that floor, to begin with taking you by surprise. He has his own lab on the same floor you, your father, and Bruce do. Nowhere near this floor. "What are you doing here?"

" Uh," he pauses, nervously scratching his neck. "I was gonna meet with Ally. Gonna ask her if she can help me repair my web shooters, hang out a bit too."

You almost visibly deflate at that. Great, even your crush would rather go to Ally for something than you. You've helped Peter with his web shooters before, and he'd usually always hang out with you. What the hell? " Oh," you finally respond. "I can help you! After the meeting, I mean."

" It's fine, Y/N," Peter responds. "Don't wanna put a lot on your plate. Go work on your pitch."

Before you can say anything, Ally is walking out with your dad. The two are laughing like they've known each other for years. She calls out to Peter and he tells you he'll see you in a few. You watch him walk up to Ally and you pick up on how she bites her lip, tucking a strand of her long, black, straight hair behind her ear. Her green eyes stare into Peter's and you suddenly feel self-conscious as Peter stares at her.

"Hey Y/N," your dad calls out, walking next to you. "Why are you down here?" He presses a button and the elevator opens, allowing both of you to step in.

"Oh, you know," you start, waving him off. " Just practicing for the meeting. you know how I am."

Tony nods as the elevator goes up two floors to the conference floor. Upon arrival, your phone dings, showing an email notification. You open it and see it's from someone named Alex Gianni. A fashion designer on the come up. Not too unknown as his clothing is all the rage with teens and internet influencers. However, the biggest thing about him is that his father, Arlo Gianni, is one of your father's biggest critics. The two have a mutual dislike for each other and it's kind of hilarious. Nonetheless, you're acquaintances with Alex.

' Y/N Stark, It's in my interest to ask you if you're available to direct my winter line's fashion show. I'm well aware of your eye for design and fashion as well as the mixture of applied sciences into your practices. In short, I grant you creative freedom over the show, based on the looks should you decide to accept this offer.'

Initially, you didn't think much of the email and decided to ignore it for the time being. You'd decline his offer later, for the sake of your dear old dad. However, the offer is very tempting. You've been wanting to do a show before, but you never really got the chance. Nonetheless, you push the thought behind and decide to focus on the subject matter of the meeting.

"Where's Parker?" you find yourself asking, seconds before the meeting is set to start. Everyone shrugs but Tony says to just start without him, that he'll fill him in on the information. So you commence the meeting. Most of your bit is the introductory stuff. Pepper would begin discussing the meat of it all. Halfway through your speech, Peter and Ally walk in, laughing obnoxiously loud. Their eyes widen when they see you and your upset face. Being the professional you are, you continue like that never happened. However, as you continue, you notice the unprofessionalism of the others in the room. They all managed to start some kind of conversation with Ally and even Pepper and your father managed to ignore you and to join in. Peter couldn't seem to keep his voice down and that was the final straw. "And I have a big announcement to make!"

The loudness of your voice gained all thin attention. With a smile used to hide the anger and the heartbreak, you speak up. "I've decided to drop out of the charity event organizer committee. Pepper will be fine on her own, I know she will be."

With that, you head out the conference room and into the elevator. Once the doors shut, you let the tears fall. The anger and the sadness of having everybody forget about you and Choose the seemingly smarter and prettier girl finally coming out. Through teary eyes, you unlock your phone and decide to email Alex back.

' Hey Alex, I would be honored to direct your show! I'm so glad you chose me, please let me know when you'd like to meet to discuss plans.'

Two days passed before you got a sudden response. You'd spent those two days in bed crying and listening to a lot of Fleetwood Mac. No one even tried looking for you or talking to you for those two days given that you haven't gotten a single knock on your door, nor a text or call, not even a message from FRIDAY. When you opened the response, you saw that it was a text from Alex asking if you could meet in two hours. You were quick to respond, jumping up to get ready. For the first time in 48 hours, you were up and smiling.

You were quick to throw on some jeans, a top, and a coat over that. You asked FRIDAY to do a scan where everybody was so that you could avoid them all for now. Deep down, you feel like you're exaggerating, but at the same time, you know you're not. Everyone has been forgetting about you, often ignoring you for Ally for the past six months. Some you've gone that amount of time not seeing. It's depressing. Their unprofessionalism was just the thing that made you break. So, FRIDAY gives you the best route to take so you don't have to see any of them and you take it. You're in a car withing ten minutes and you're driving off toward's Alex's house to meet up.

That's how the next couple of weeks went, without anyone noticing. You'd wake up at 9 AM, get ready for your day and head out as soon as you were ready. You'd go to the nearest cafe, get some breakfast, and eat. Then, you'd get to Alex's house by 10:30. Then, you'd both convene for a while, bouncing ideas off each other, and get to drawing or writing plans. You'd try on the clothes, feel it, look at it. He'd take you to the stores, spend some time with the die-hard fans of his and his brand. You truly delved into the world of the clothes. By the time you were done, it'd be dinner time. You'd have dinner with Alex's family, and it was those moments that you got the familial attention you'd been craving for some time now. Sure, Arlo made comments about your dad, and usually, you'd refute them, but not this time around. Instead, you ignored them and just pretended they were never said. It felt wrong but it felt nice to have someone actually ask you how your day was despite spending the day around you. On days where you weren't over at Alex's house, you'd spend some time watching videos or pictures from influencers who wore his stuff. You'd be in your own rabbit hole for hours on end, listening to music that could serve as a possible soundtrack. You'd even go into your lab and find ways to improve on the show through engineering and science.

Then it all came crashing, in a sense, one day. There were about three weeks until showtime, and you were at home in your lab. You'd gotten the notification. You were expecting the news to come out, it had to at some point before the show. However, you weren't really expecting the backlash from those around you. It started with Alex's brand posting the picture on the brand's account. It was a black and white picture of you, Arlo, and Alex standing in Alex's office. You're all looking at a rack of the new clothes and you're all smiling and laughing. A candid picture. Around it had the words 'Lexicon Couture x Y/N Stark Fall and Winter 19.' It had the date of the show and the time it would happen. The caption read, 'Something big is coming. #LexiconxStark #GiannixStark'

Everyone was freaking out in the comments, the post becoming one of the brand's most liked. Next, came Alex's post. It was the same thing, except he tagged you in the post and he even added a red heart emoji. A most exclusive emoji. Then finally came Arlo's post. It was a repost of Alex's and he added something along the lines of 'my basically new daughter has teamed up with my son for his line.'

Not too long after the posts went viral, you got the email from the company to repost the pictures to gain even more viewership, so you did, leaving the caption as simple yet ominous as the brand's caption. Not too long after you posted it was there a knock on your door. You were too busy adding some finishing touches to the design to care that it could be something not good, so without hesitation, you tell the person to come in.

"You're working with Arlo Gianni?" your dad asks, bursting through the door. You look up from your tablet, seeing Tony's totally devastated look. Without thinking about it, you nod, looking back down at the sketches on your tablet. "The Arlo Gianni? The one who's one of my many enemies? Y/N, how could you do this to me?"

"It's not that serious-"

"Not that serious? He called you his daughter, in his post, Y/N. I take offense to that."

"Look, I didn't take offense to you calling Ally 'like a daughter' okay? Plus, he's not that bad once you get to know him. I was only working with Alex at the beginning but much like all his other kid's ventures, his dad got involved because he cares. Plus Arlo feeds me and asks me how my day has been. I'm just finally trying to set foot into the fashion world like I have been for the past couple of years and my good friend Alex is offering me an outlet to do just that by allowing me full artistic and directorial creativity over his line's show."

Tony stays quiet, noticing how you don't look up at him. "Well, Peter seems devastated that you're so close to Alex. He ranted to Ally the other day that the girl he likes, you know you, has disappeared for days and suddenly she's shown hanging out with Alex Gianni. So...."

"I don't know what you want me to say, dad," you respond, hoping he gets the hint that you're upset now. Hoping he'll react in one of two ways; leave you alone, or apologize for being a dick. "I'm just chasing my dreams here since I have nothing to do here. So, if you're gonna keep chastising me, please go away."

Without another word, he exits your room. When the door shuts, you ask FRIDAY to lock it, feeling the tears come out. Suddenly, you're friends with the enemy and that's when Peter and Tony decide to come around to realizing that they want you? That's when they decide to come around? All for the wrong reasons too? Well, now you plan on rubbing it in that you don't really need them. Yeah, sure it's mostly spite speaking, but deep down you're pissed. How dare they think that they can cast you out and then get mad when you find something of your own to do?

So the next day when Alex asks you if you want to go on his family's vacation for the week, you're quick to respond yes. They'd claimed it would be a celebratory trip to Italy for finishing the show ahead of time. You'd spent the next week teasing your father, the Avengers, and Peter by making them jealous. A post about how Alex is your most handsome best friend at the moment for Peter to see, an Instagram post with Alex's whole family, calling them the best and most supportive team on earth aimed at all the Avengers, and a Snapchat post with Arlo pouring you a glass of champagne to stab your own father in the chest the way he did to you. It was petty, it was ridiculous, and it was everything you felt like doing at the moment. Then at some point in the week, your intentions became sort of clear to Alex, who found it rather amusing. He admitted that he wasn't attracted to you in that way because he's gay, but he'd help you in the part of making Peter jealous by posing with you in various promising poses.

The week was over and you were back home. Now there were only two weeks until showtime and it was time to do some press. Alex had been in interviews all day and you were meant to be working on a guest list for the show, and you weren't so sure if you wanted to invite your dad or the Avengers. On one hand, you've worked on this on your own. This was your thing and you wanted to enjoy it as such. However, you do want them there, even if you currently are upset with every one of them. Plus, it could be a good way to rub it in their faces.

So with that, you add them all to the list. You go on about your business for the next couple of hours, until you see that Alex has sent you a link to a video of one of the interviews he did. In the interview, he reveals that he wanted you to do the show because you inspired the line. He'd based most of the line on your style but gave it a more urban and even modern spin for the youth to wear, as he claimed. Essentially, you were his muse. It all kind of made sense why it all came easy to you. It was based on you. You found it flattering and that made your heart skip a beat, joy filling every fiber of your being. Someone did notice you when everybody else did not.

So, you did some press and eventually, the show came around. You'd been at the venue all day, helping prepare and get everything accounted for. You were running this thing and it was a tight ship, so nothing could go wrong. Everyone got there in time, everything got put together in time, and by the time it was an hour until showtime, you were beyond tired. You had a total of thirty models, a great variation of everything and you felt proud. You cooled down before the show, deciding to get yourself sort of ready for post-show pictures and interviews. When the show started, the sound of Rico Nasty's Roof began to play and the crowd began to cheer. Then the first model walked out; donning a pair of acid-washed distressed jeans with a cropped multi-color jacket, a white Lexicon tee, and some platforms. Her hair was in messy space buns and she wore some neon-pink sunglasses to match the jacket. Right as she reached the end of the runway, another model came out, wearing more from the fall line. You watched from behind the walls of the facade to see the Avengers, your dad, Pepper, and Peter all sitting front and center. Nowhere in sight was Ally. Good.

People seemed to enjoy the fall portion of the show, and it was probably the most fun part to direct. The fall line was more of a modern urban thing, something the cool kids are wearing today and it's very in your face. It's very 'break shit and rage' as you've explained before and you've always had a knack for alternative dress styled. It was punk meets hood and you've always thought that was a cool style. Eventually, after a good twenty minutes, that portion of the show was over. Alex came out and announced a short five-minute intermission, wanting to prepare and transition into the second portion smoothly. In that time, you ran around making sure everyone was good to go. Once the five minutes were over, the sound of Fleetwood Mac's The Chain begins to play. This was the fall portion, which to you was a more formal style. It was warmer in tone and in use, and it was more sophisticated. It still had a youthful feel, but it was more formal than the other stuff. Nonetheless, everyone at the show seemed to dig it. By the time the show was over, everyone was giving the models a standing ovation. At the end of it, you and Alex came out, earning the loudest cheers of all.

At that moment, you felt the rush you'd been searching for. You found your calling and it was everything you expected it to be and more. Once the crowd silenced, Alex wrapped an arm around your shoulder and hugged you close as he took the mic and took the time to address the audience. You watched him proudly as he spoke, one of the biggest smiles on your faces.

"I especially want to thank my best friend, my partner, my muse, Y/N Stark," he speaks, looking back at you as the crowd cheers. "For taking up the job as director of the show. She did an amazing job with everything and through this process, we became closer. She's so creative and I'm glad she agreed to this. My show wouldn't have been the same, and it probably would have failed if it was anybody else."

He hands you the mic and you take it, watching as everyone silences down. You begin your speech, just saying thank you to everyone and it makes you feel emotional deep inside.  "I also want to thank the Gianni's for taking me in during this process, making me feel like family and taking care of me during all the long nights and early mornings," you say, taking your father by surprise. "I also want to thank my father Tony Stark and the Avengers for unknowingly fueling my necessity for this show, otherwise, I don't know if I would have done it," you continue. "Most of all, I wanna thank Alex," you pause and notice the way Peter looks jealous as you turn to Alex. "For putting me on this project, for trusting me to do this, and for being the best friend a girl could ask for. For encouraging me to do my own thing after this and for helping me realize some things. Anyways, thank you all so much!"

By the time everyone is off stage, all sorts of people are coming up to you and to Alex, asking you all sorts of questions. All you want to do at this time is get to the afterparty and get a drink or something. Maybe get a burger or some tacos on the way, but you just want a meal and a drink. So, you get through it all as quick as possible and by the time you're done, the only people left are your dad and the Avengers. They're all standing together, some of them holding flowers, others holding cards. You chuckle, feeling a little nervous to approach them. However, you do it anyway, because you can only ignore them for so long. Apparently that limit was about two months. So with that, you walk up to them, a small smile on your lips.

"I have a feeling we're all in for a lecture," Tony speaks up, handing you some flowers. Your nod, eyes wide and words ready to go.

"Yeah, thank you, you whole bunch of actual assholes," you say, making them all go wide-eyed and gasp at your bluntness. "For ignoring me for nearly eight whole months over some intern who was just supposed to be a temp. I don't know if any of you notice, but Ally? I hate that bitch! And I rarely hate anybody! So, the fact that you all ignored me for her at some point in time? That's kind of annoying."

"We didn't ignore you for her-" Steve begins.

"Yeah, we didn't mean to, at least." Natasha comments.

"Hm, let me think," you say, letting it all out now. "Natasha the last time we talked was literally four months ago. Steve, you haven't talked to me in six. Peter, you've ditched me for Ally, which was kind of heartbreaking because I liked you and I kind of thought you liked me back, but ya know, and she's so much prettier than me, so that doesn't help either," you ramble. "Pepper, you basically wanted me off that project and then you got Ally's help, so that was fun. Bruce, Thor, Sam, Bucky, and Wanda, all of you immediately ditched me for Ally, so that kind of sucked. And most of all, my dead old dad. That little argument with you kind of hurt because you were so betrayed that I was working with Arlo Gianni, but behind closed doors, he'd been taking care of me better than you had for the past couple of months since Ally came around. Plus, you only ever talked to me to tell me that Ally would be taking over one of my projects or that I'd have to cover for you in a meeting."

"Why didn't you tell us sooner?" Tony asks, mirroring everyone's guilty frown.

"I wanted you guys to realize you were shutting me out," you say, the tears you'd been holding in for the better part of eight months now finally coming out. "I was always initiating interactions with you because no one paid me the time of day. But then I finally decided to stop, see if it made an impact, and apparently, it did not, because no one sought me out for so long. But that day of the Halloween Charity meeting, Alex emailed me right before it, asking me to direct this for him. I was initially going to decline, but once the meeting was in full swing and then Peter was walking in laughing with Ally, and then everyone began to tune me out to start talking with her, that was what caused me to snap. You all shut me out, so I took the hint and fucked off. I accepted Alex's offer and for the first time in months, I'd felt happy. I felt happy, I felt needed, I wasn't alone, I wasn't someone's second or last choice. And it felt good."

"Y/N," Tony whispers, stepping closer. "We're so sorry, sweetie," he says sincerely, pulling you into his arms. Everyone begins piling around, hugging you as well. "I'm sorry we didn't realize that earlier. I didn't know we made you feel that way, it wasn't anyone's intention to make you feel worthless or anything. I just told everyone to back off a bit because I didn't want you thinking that SI or Avengers stuff was all you had to do all the time."

"But did I ever complain?" you ask, and everyone goes silent. "I didn't mind helping with that. I loved doing all that work because it meant that I was always hanging out with one of you guys. So you can only imagine how shitty I felt when suddenly, no one was talking to me. Trading me in for Ally."

They all stay silent for a few seconds. Then the wave of apologies came around and you find yourself laughing.

"Look, it's fine. I'm over it now, my grudge has gone away because I found my calling, I found my thing and I'm happier now. I found my best friend in this world, and I found my group of people away from my initial group of people and I'm just over it. But please from now on, no ignoring me? Or else I'll pick up a new passion out of spite."

Everyone is quick to agree, hounding you in another giant group hug, assuring you that they all still cared. After that day, Ally didn't become much of a problem. She still worked at SI, still in her current position, but you managed to stay away from her. Everyone would talk to you like normal and Peter went back to hanging out with you again, making sure to always comment on how he likes you and not Ally. You'd hold it over him for some time, opting to torture him with his crush just a bit longer, just because you're a sadistic spiteful person. In the end, it all worked out as you began to take the fashion world by storm.

Leave feedback, requests, and asks, please!!

[fairiesherefairiesthere]

Fraxus fake Boyfriend AU part 1/?

So it’s Fraxus day, but this isn’t finished yet so I decided to split it up. Here’s part one folks! (it’s a modern au)

"No Freed, you can't hack your father's bank account. The feds will get you and then I will be tragically best friend-less."

"No, you don't get it", Freed says and on the grainy computer screen, Laxus can see him shake his head. "If I go to jail, it'll probably be in Crocus, which means you can actually visit me instead of videocalling me at stupid o'clock in the morning. Also orange is an excellent colour on me."

A quick glance at the lower corner of his screen and a bit of mental math tells Laxus that it's indeed way too early in the morning for Freed to even consider to talk to him. "Justine it's three in the morning there, why are you even awake?"

Although it's hard to tell with the awful videoquality, Laxus thinks he can see the other man pout. "Talking to my bestie, duh", Freed replies and bashes his eyelashes obnoxiously, drawing a huff of laughter out of Laxus. "What are you, a fifteen year old schoolgirl? The lack of sleep is clearly getting to your head."

Smoothly ignoring Laxus' criticism of his horrendous sleeping habits, Freed continues the earlier topic. "Speaking of besties, made any friends yet?" Groaning, Laxus rolls his eyes. "My roommate is an actual nutjob and I don't know why I'm fond of him. He introduced me to his absolute bitch of a friend and I think I like her even more", he confesses and the pixelated image of Freed gives him a smug smirk. "It's because you like to be bullied, Laxus dearest. You won't say it, so I'll say it for you : bottom rights baby."

"I hate you and if you were here I'd smack you", he half-heartedly threatens and Freed replies "Kinky" without missing a beat. While the two of them are engaged in a staring match without actually being able to make out each other's eyes in the blur of colours on the screen, Bickslow throws open Laxus' bedroom door and yells: "Time to hide your porn blondie, it's time for reallife interaction with actual human beings!"

On instinct, Laxus does click away and as soon as the connection with Freed breaks he sees it fit to pout like a child. Their schedules matching (or one of them not sleeping for a day) and their wifi allowing them to see each other is a ridiculously difficult situation to stumble upon and now he's wasted his chance. Bickslow looks at least apologetic. Laxus was going to forgive him, until he opened his godforsaken mouth. "Dang man, the porn that good?"

"I hate you too", he says without clarifying to Bickslow who the other despised person is. He doesn't seem to mind as he plucks Laxus' computer from his bed, plops it down the nearby desk and sits himself down right in front of Laxus, legs in lotus position and bouncing with way too much energy. "I had a great idea", he announces and Laxus immediately doubts him.

"You see Ever and I, we thought you were a bit lonely and it might heal your soul to... Nah, scratch all of that, Ever and I were really fucking bored and we thought : Hey, let's set our absolute bestie up on a date! So here we are. Get dressed, you're going on a date."

"I can't", he says and desperately tries to come up with a reason. Uni work won't fool them, because they know that he's actually a good student, other activities won't work either because he's a social recluse and not even Makarov can save him because for some reason, the little shits he calls friends are all buddy-buddy with his grandpa.

"My boyfriend would hate it", he continues, cheeks colouring. It's because of the lying, not because he can only come up with one boyfriend-candidate in his mind. The statement is bland and straight to the point, which makes his words sound all the more true. Of course, Bickslow doesn't even buy a little bit of it. "Prove it", he demands.

While mentally apologising to Freed, Laxus digs up his contact information and futily tries to call him. After the third time trying, Bickslow looks even less convinced, which is an impressive feat considering he didn't believe Laxus from the beginning. Sighing, he goes to their chat instead and unlike their usual nonsense, he finds a sweet (?) message from Freed.

Damn, the wifi is really fucking with us huh? Wish we could talk more and I wish I could see your pretty face instead of a black screen and some smudges of colour here. X from the most beautiful man you know."

'Conceited brat', he thinks fondly and replies: Cymbeline (Act 3, Scene 4) Line 35-39, but replace 'slander' with 'you bitch'. They've adopted this weird system where Freed uses slang and Laxus literary references, just to meet each other's vibes somewhat. Sometimes it works, most of the times it really doesn't, but at least it's fun.

"Bro have you forgotten about my entire existence already? Stop smiling at your phone and admit that you don't have a mans!" Wordlessly, Laxus passes his phone to Bickslow who gasps. "Book quotes? Shit man, you're in deep. I'm gonna tell Ever." Without a warning, Bickslow disappears through the window, probably giving Evergreen her twentieth heart attack of this month by landing on her balcony. If the school thought a floor would seperate girls and boys, then they clearly hadn't met Bickslow.

Too late Laxus realises that Bicks has taken his phone with him and hopes his friends somewhat value his privacy and don't scroll too far up. There are the occassional way too deep talks around midnight but also a one time onceler x barry b benson bdsm roleplay (Freed had needed help with a creative writing assignment and Laxus had contributed a whole lot of nothing).

Barely five minutes later, Evergreen marches right into his bedroom, heels clicking snappily on his floor. "What", she spits and waves with his phone, "is this?"

"My cellphone."

Unperturbed, she continues her dramatic rant. "You have a boyfriend and you don't bother telling us?" Her tone turns sly and she elegantly flops down on his bed, rearranging her body to give herself a 'stern posture'. She looks like an irod rod trying to do yoga. "Or are you just making things up? Feel free to prove me wrong by showing us what he looks like."

"Why would I bring my photoalbums to uni?" he asks dumbfounded and Ever looks at him as though he just came down from Mars. "Laxus, honey, snapchat is a thing? Email if you're oldfashioned? Where are your boyfriend's nudes?"

"You're in a relationship."

"With a great guy who loves and trusts me and knows I ain't gonna cheat on him. Show me the dickpicks." Annoyed, he gives her a little shove. "I don't have any, I'm used to him being around. He's on another continent now and I just recently realised that all my memorabilias are at home."

"Convenient", Ever remarks dryly and Laxus sighs deeply and stretches out his hand. After she dumped his phone in it, he sends Freed a message ('Bro send me a pic of u ppl wanna know u exist') and shows it to both of his friends. "There."

Surprisingly fast, he gets a message back. 'No. The paparazzi and the FBI agent assigned to me will have to try harder than that to get a hold of ME (why is this man so ridiculous).' He shows it to Ever and Bicks and the former uses this opportunity to snatch his phone, typing a response before Laxus can properly register what's happening. "Hi I'm Laxus friend and I don't believe you're his boyfriend. Send a thirst trap to prove you exist. Or nudes", she reads aloud. Bickslow guffaws at that and Laxus sighs, resigning himself to face the consequences of his actions. What he does not expect however, is for Freed to send a picture back.

It's an awful photo of high school-aged Freed, complete with braces and a very unnatural smile. He's gangly, thin and looks like the walking embodiment of an awkward teen. 'This is a nude, as my soul has never been as bare as in this one picture', the caption reads and Ever laughs. "You know what, he passes the test." She purses her lips. "For now at least, I'm going to need more concrete evidence of this being an existing human being, because everyone can pluck a photo from the internet. Anyway, you're way too late for your date, so you get off easy Laxus."

After brushing nonexistent dirt from her skirt she opens her arms for Bickslow. "Take me home, spiderman", she orders and he gives her a salute. "Roger madame!" he yells before plucking Ever from the floor and leaping over the balcony railing. Their trust in each other is remarkable, but Laxus does think they're weirdos.

The very next day, Ever once again bursts through his door and Laxus mentally curses because he hasn't had the chance to discuss this whole thing with Freed yet. "Laxus", she says, voice dead-serious. "Evergreen.", he greets back as she half-crawls under the covers of his bed. "It's fucking cold", she clarifies before opening her laptop. That seemingly insignificant action makes Laxus weary, as Ever is holding her rickety laptop that's for illegal purposes only.

"I reverse searched that pic of your boyfriend and before I tell you the results, I'd like to know how exactly you met him."

He recognises her nosiness for what it really is (worry) and with a sigh, he gives her the sparknotes version of their history.

"We lived in the same town and we became friends because both of our fathers were absolute shit. They were friends so we became friends. At age thirteen he moved to Alakitasia and we reconnected because we matched on that stupid tinder profile you guys made me."

"Are you sure you weren't catfished?"

"Yup, because we skype regularly."

"Okay. Then certainly you're aware that he's a billionaire? Like, the heir to Justine Industries, the biggest technologie giant at the moment?"

He tries to see the whole situation from her perspective and has to admit that 'I have a boyfriend overseas, who's also a billionaire', sounds a bit too over the top to be true. "Yep, his pa's job is the reason he moved. I know this whole situation sounds like a huge lie to stop you guys' antics (probably because it is), but I swear it's true (it really isn't)."

"Okay then", she mumbles before putting her feet into Laxus' lap. The audicity of this woman, he thinks as he does absolutely nothing to move her. "I'm sorry for the whole 'setting you up' thing, it was rude of us. We just wanted you to have someone, you know? Because you deserve it and we can also see that you kind of want it and we wanted to help. We were too overzealous."

Ah, what a festive feeling brews in his chest. Nothing like a bucket of guilt to get your morning refreshment. The worst part is that Evergreen isn't even done yet with her sentimental speech. "Also, you get really happy whenever your man sends you a message, so all in all I'm glad our big plans didn't work out. I'm still going to be weary of  his actual existence until I meet him, I hope you don't mind." He shakes his head. "Nah, be weary all you want."  

After dropping Evergreen off at her boyfriend's, he rushes to his room to send Freed a message to update him on his situation (he even uses the actual sms-system instead of the internet, which is crazy expensive but he's in a bit of a panic). Unlike most of the time, Freed responds quickly. Laxus wonders why his wifi is absolute shit if he's rich enough to pay for intercontinential messaging. An agonising five minutes pass as the speech bubble ominously keeps showing that the other is typing. When it finally shows up, all it reads is :

"Lol"

"That's all you have to say?" he furiously types back, but before he can hit send, he gets another message. "Whatever man, I'll be the hottest boyfriend ever." After that, it's radio silence again.

The silence between them is broken a few days later. Laxus is trying to enjoy his lunch while Bickslow and Evergreen bicker over something or other, when his phone pings. Little gremlins that they are, they've already looked at the message as soon as it pops up. They read the godawful collection of words "Send me a pic of your feet" before he does.

"Romance at its finest", Bickslow dryly jokes and Evergreen turns to him with big worried eyes. "You're sure he's not a catfish? Or is this what you consider a raunchy picture?" Laxus would answer if he knew what the fuck is happening. Another message appears :  "With measuring tapes surrounding them, not in a weird, gross, fifty year old with a feet kink kind of way. I want to spoil my boyfriend (with my father's creditcard)."

"Aw how sweet, he's committing crimes for ya", Bickslow croons and Laxus grumbles. "I'm not about to give him anymore excuses to commit theft.", he says while typing "Absolutely not." At the other side of the table Evergreen collects her phone from her bag and opens Instagram. After looking for and finding Freed's profile, she sends him a selfie with Laxus and Bickslow in the background and adds a thoughtful message detailing Laxus' feet. "Honey, you need shoes that fit you. No stores have your size and if your insanely rich boyfriend's dad can involuntarily provide, why not take the chance?"

A few days later, the shoes do arrive. They're the most comfortable pair Laxus has ever owned and there's no obnoxious trademarked name smacked on it. He thanks Freed, but asks him to please not do something along those lines again. Knowing full well that Freed himself would never be financially bothered by it, he still feels guilty. Freed apologises (he really shouldn't, he's been nothing but an angel while Laxus is being bothersome) and drops the matter.

"Where are you rn?" The message feels somewhat ominous, but Laxus ignores his gutfeeling that tells him that today is going to be weird. "The western outside food court of Crocus' uni, why?" The response that he gets is a simple :  " :) ". Like a dumbass, he decides to not question it.

While he's chilling out, head resting on his crossed arms, he hears an unusual amount of chattering. Although he and his friends had chosen this place because of how little people came here, it seems like that peace is now gone. Rest in peace, piece. Vibrating bothersomely, his phone grabs his attention. "Got ya another present!" Brows furrowing, Laxus reads the new incoming message : "Kids and their phones these days. Look up darling !"

[moonbeambucky]

The Price of Gold (Part 6)

Pairing: Lance Tucker x Reader Word Count: 3720 Warnings: Flashbacks with some heavy stuff (touching without consent, attempted sexual assault, drug use/being drugged, underage drinking), mention of cancer

Summary: As a sports journalist you’ve traveled the world interviewing famous athletes. You’ve loved your job up until you find out your next article is on the last person in the world you ever wanted to talk to, Lance Tucker.

A/N: This doesn’t follow The Bronze canon though some film details are mixed with real world events. Written for @green-eyeddragonfanfiction Dragon’s 3k Follower Creative Content Challenge. My prompt was “I can’t be in love with you!” gif source (x)

PART 5 | THE PRICE OF GOLD MASTERLIST

The following morning Lance asked to run a few errands alone, he didn’t say they were for his mother though he did mention your greeting and for a brief moment her eyes flashed with a joy he hadn’t seen in a very long time. It was a relief to see and hearing her say your name felt like he was pulled back to a time when you meant so much to him and Dorothy. It was nice while it lasted and just as quickly the memory faded, and real life needed his attention again.

The invitation was given for Lance to come to your hotel room when he was done to continue talking. His office space was unavailable for the next few days as the crew was working on transforming the unfinished area into two separate locker rooms so it wouldn’t be the best place to for conversation. Though your balcony was small it felt better sitting out there than inside your small room. From the small refrigerator you grabbed a few bottles of water– Fiji, not bothering the disgusting brand anymore– and placed them on the table.

You decided to wear casual clothes today, throwing on some jeans and choosing an olive green shirt over a blue that reminded you a little too much of Lance’s eyes. This is just business. Don’t get too close. You needed that reminder. Things with Lance were better yesterday but it doesn’t mean he’s forgiven.

He texted asking if you’d like him to bring lunch over which led to you joke about how you were always eating together. Shit was that too friendly? You were able to sleep better last night, parting ways on good terms but you felt like you should be mean. You argued with yourself over what to do until he responded with a laughing emoji, with tears in its eyes. What you said wasn’t that funny. Shit, this felt so weird; being friendly with each other was something that had been absent for so long but it was… nice you regretfully admitted. Screw it, your head hurts from all this, finally deciding that you’re not going to act in any way other than being yourself.

Less than an hour later you heard a knock at your door. It was a little strange inviting Lance into your hotel room but you pushed the thought aside and welcomed him in.

“Didn’t feel like getting dressed for work today?” he joked and you rolled your eyes, laughing at him.

He followed you to the balcony, handing over your lunch. It was comfortable outside with a surprisingly cool breeze blowing making the napkins fly off the table, the action easing the slightly awkward tension between you. Lance began to talk and you listened, occasionally setting your food aside to make some notes on your laptop.

“Maggie was acting like me,” he said, pausing to drink some water. “When I won my gold I had a bit of an ego.”

“You don’t say.” Lance’s eyes locked with yours for a brief moment and seeing the light dim in his eyes made your stomach twist with regret at your sarcastic comment.

“I’m not proud of that. I was a cocky little kid who got too much thrown into his lap… thought I could handle it.”

He explained how after Toronto Maggie thought she was too good for everything. She was rude to her other teammates, was skipping practice and going out a lot.

“I wanted to talk to her, give her one last shot since she was gonna be kicked off the team. That’s when she told me she was pregnant,” he said, looking disappointed as he reflected on the memory. “I was shocked to be honest.”

Lance spoke about Maggie’s mom Janice, who reminded him of his own mother. After his parent’s divorce Dorothy worked hard to provide for Lance, doing anything she could to make sure his dreams would come true.

“Maggie knew how much her mom struggled, a single woman, cleaning toilets and shit but she did everything for her, everything to support her and she fucked it all up by getting knocked up.” He shook his head. “Maggie tried to hide the pregnancy… didn’t want to lose her endorsements but that didn’t last. An unwed pregnant teen Olympian is not the image USA Gymnastics wanted to portray.”

“Seems pretty normal to me,” you interjected, thinking how common her situation was, minus the “Olympian” part.

“Maggie lost her deals, had blown the rest of her savings on garbage and her loser boyfriend. She didn’t think. She thought the money would always be there. That’s when she went to People magazine.”

You remembered the cover of Maggie, her hand across her swollen belly, her gold medal around her neck with the bold caption “My trainer is the father!”

“That fucking ruined my life!” he exclaimed. He grimaced thinking about it, the hurt worn on his face. “I did a lot of fucked up things,” he said as you shared an awkward glance, “but never like this. It opened the door for everything.”

Lance ran his hands through his hair. “There was nothing I could do until the kid was born,” he sighed.

Lance had asked for a paternity test before she gave birth but Maggie wouldn’t consent, wanting to milk her pregnancy for as long as she could, even using Lance’s request for more tabloid stories painting him as a “deadbeat dad.”

After that a lot of people came forward to accuse him, believing if he had an inappropriate relationship with Maggie then why not them? Girls claimed he had harassed them or touched them without consent. Lance may have been a douche but he wasn’t an idiot, he respected people and knew boundaries.

Most accusations were easily disproved, some of his accusers had never actually met him. “Except for Karen Otero,” he reflected. She was a former gymnast on the team who was very angry she was let go.

“She said I spiked her drink and raped her. I would never, EVER, do that!” he stressed, staring into your eyes.

You had just turned sixteen and your parents bought you your first cell phone. You loved that Nokia. You texted Lance, your boyfriend of three years (yes it finally happened, like everyone said it would), letting him know you were at Mike’s party. He was a friend of a friend of Lance’s, and checking the time on the dashboard Lance hoped he would be back in time to make it. He was heading back from an out of state competition which he won another gold medal for.

You were upset you couldn’t go, you rarely missed his competitions but since getting a part time job you found you couldn’t call out as easily as you hoped. It was a sacrifice you made, deciding that your perfect work attendance would be an excellent bargaining chip to use so you could take time off for the upcoming Junior Prom and Nationals next year.

Being at the house of a senior was a little intimidating. You knew a couple of people, some shared your lunch period, others you knew through Lance before he left to homeschool. You mingled throughout the house with a Smirnoff Ice in hand. You had only gotten drunk once before last year with your friend Christina. She took a bottle of rum from her parent’s liquor cabinet and stashed it along with a bottle of flat soda in the back of her closet. You drank it when you thought her parents were out, not realizing– because you were both extremely loud– that they had come home.

When they realized you were drunk her parents called yours to pick you up. Both of you ended up grounded for two months. Lance stopped by the next day but he couldn’t stay for long; your Dad kindly let him have a few minutes with you before your Mom came home.

Lance didn’t feel bad that you were grounded, he was always a bit of a goody two shoes growing up, but when you ran towards the bathroom to vomit he felt awful. He rushed to your side to hold back your hair, rubbing your back and bringing you some water. You stayed away from hard liquor ever since, experimenting here and there with beer but you didn’t really like it.

Christina was at the party with her boyfriend Dimitri so you said hello to them before making your way to watch a group playing beer pong.

A short guy named Jason came over saying hello to some people. “Hey Y/N, I see you’re out,” he said noticing the empty bottle you were still holding onto. “I’ll grab you another,” he offered. You were too preoccupied in a conversation with a girl named Shana you had gym with to notice the bottle he handed you was already opened.

Not long after Lance had pulled up to the house with blaring music. He’s greeted by a couple of friends outside, asking people if they’ve seen you, a little worried since you didn’t respond to his last text. Lance entered the house, making eye contact with Brendan Murphy, a guy on the varsity baseball team that gave you the creeps when you interviewed him for your school’s newspaper. Brendan ducked into a room and something told Lance to follow him.

Your body was buzzing, feeling the beat of the music pulsing through you, from the bottom of your toes to the top of your head. Your eyes were shut and you smiled, running your hands up and down your body. You wanted to move, to become part of the rhythm. You grabbed Jason’s hands, placing them on your hips, swaying to the sounds.

Any worries you had disappeared, any anxieties you felt were gone. You were bubbly and happy, you felt magical, like an ethereal goddess, a mythical figure. You were a mermaid, swimming in a sea of love.

Brendan entered the room as Jason grabbed the hem of your tank top, pulling it over your arms. You pulled his body closer to yours, desperate for contact. You felt more alive than you ever have and it was so mind blowing it didn’t feel real. You needed to reach out to someone, to touch them, to bring them into the world you felt.

Brendan came up behind you, running his hands over the cups of your bra, down your sides and over the curve of your ass. He then began to unbuckle his belt as Jason undid the button of your jeans.

“Get away from her!” Lance snarled.

Lunging forward he pushed Jason off of you and he fell to the ground. You stood there, giddy and excited to see Lance but you couldn’t climb through the fog to truly know what was going on.

Brendan threw a punch at Lance that landed on his jaw but it didn’t faze him. Tackling him to the ground, Lance delivered punch after punch to the pale boy’s face until his nose was bloodied.

“You fucking scumbags, what did you give her?” Lance screamed as he punched Brendan again.

“E,” Brendan coughed out, his pink face turning redder the longer Lance maintained the tight grip on his collar.

Jason got courageous and wrapped his arm around Lance’s neck and dragging him off his friend from behind. He didn’t anticipate Lance’s strength, quickly breaking free of the hold and knocking Jason out with a swift punch.

Lance rushed over to you, checking if you were hurt but truth be told you felt really good and he was starting to bring you down. You wanted to feel good, the music was calling you and you wanted to be surrounded by it again. You gently pushed Lance to the side, gliding towards the door, the light from the other room calling you to it before he caught your arm and pulled you back.

Lance felt the heat of your skin and saw the beads of sweat that pooled around your hairline. He tried to keep you in the room until he could find your shirt. Once he did he fought with you to get it on but you didn’t want it, it was too constricting, you wanted to be free to let the music touch you and flow through your body. He forced your tank top back on, lacing his arm through yours, dragging you out of the house to his car, pausing briefly to yell at Mike and tell him what Jason and Brendan did.

You were defiant with Lance, unbuckling your seatbelt because you wanted to be free. He did his best to drive safely while keeping you in the car, clenching his jaw with worry. For as carefree and happy you were feeling Lance was anxious and upset; this shouldn’t have happened to you.

A couple of his friends have tried ecstasy before so he knew the effects would dissipate in a few hours. Lance brought you back to his house, doing his best to get you inside quickly and quietly so you wouldn’t wake up the neighborhood, or worse, your parents who didn’t give you permission to go to any party. He knocked on the door of his mother’s bedroom, asking her for help as he explained what happened.

Dorothy had seen a recent news program on the dangers of ecstasy. “Get her some water and Gatorade now,” she said, taking you in Lance’s room. She bit her lip as she examined you quickly, seeing your pupils blown wide.

“Please don’t tell her parents,” Lance begged as he entered the room.

Dorothy urged you to drink and you did, unaware of the conversation she and Lance had.

“You’re sure they didn’t…” Dorothy implied assault, unable to picture you, the little girl she’s known for so long, being put in such a terrible situation.

“I’m sure,” he confirmed.

“Make sure she drinks these. If she’s still too warm or hyper, or anything else happens get me and we’re going to the hospital.”

Lance had brought you some food to eat but you weren’t hungry. Going through his drawers he pulled out a t-shirt and sweatpants for you to sleep in. You began to undress and he turned his back to you to give you privacy. He assumed you were finished when he heard you nuzzling yourself onto his mattress, the feel of his smooth comforter felt amazing against your skin. Your clothes were on the end of his bed, along with the sweatpants you didn’t put on.

He looked at them, wondering why they were on his bed and not your body. “Too hot,” you said, a content smile settling on your face as you sank into the soft mattress, wearing only his large t-shirt that went down to your thighs.

Lance grabbed your hands urging you to eat. You sat up, cupping his cheeks with your hands and pulling him in for a kiss. You were needy and wanting more, wanting everything from him, to feel his hands all over your body that burned and ached in the way that only he could ease.

“S-stop, stop,” he said, pulling away.

You’ve had your fair share of heavy makeout sessions before and hands may have begun to roam during them but that was it. You didn’t want to pressure yourselves, believing you would know when the right time was to go further.

“Not now, not like this Y/N. Please, please just eat something.”

You gave in, picking at a package of Pop-Tarts he brought in, getting crumbs all over the bed. Lance put the air conditioner on, keeping his room cool for you, dabbing your forehead with a wet washcloth and forcing you to drink more liquids. You made a few trips to the bathroom to pee in the few hours you stayed up and slowly but surely your body calmed down.

Lance pushed himself to stay up for as long as he could, making sure that you were safe. You weren’t just his girlfriend, you were his soulmate and he loved you. If anyone asked he would tell them he’s loved you since the first day he laid eyes on you, the girl with the bright red bow in her hair with a contagious laugh who asked if he could be her friend and he always would be.

Dorothy checked in on you both in the early morning, unable to sleep as she was up with worry all night. She slowly opened the door, finding Lance unchanged from the clothes she last saw him in, sleeping above the covers with your body curled against him and his arm protectively drawn over you.

You woke up the next day feeling awful. Your head felt heavy and in a fog. You smelled gross, like you ran for miles in the hot and humid sun without using deodorant. And now you were freezing, pulling the blanket up to cover your shoulders. You looked down and realized this wasn’t your blanket, nor was it your room. The large Britney Spears poster and various medals hanging on the wall informed you that you were in Lance’s room, though you don’t remember getting here.

Scrunching your eyes shut you took a deep breath and tried to remember what happened last night. You shot up, pulling your knees to your chest as fragments of the party came back to you. Lance walked in just as you were crying. He set aside the glass of orange juice he was bringing you and jumped by your side, wrapping his arms around your shaking body.

“I’m so sorry, Lance, I’m sorry. I’m so…” you bawled.

“Shhh, it’s okay Y/N,” he said, rocking you in his arms. He placed a kiss on your forehead, his lips lingering before he spoke, “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Through your tearful vision you looked up at Lance, seeing the streaks of his own tears down his cheeks. “If you weren’t there…” you began and he held you tighter.

“You’re okay Y/N. You’re okay,” he repeated.

You sat back to wipe your eyes, taking in deep breaths to calm your shaking body. You looked into his eyes, the rosy veins stretching across like cherry blossom stems, the blue of his eyes bright yet unsteady like a river. Concern was etched onto his face as he reached out to gently cup your cheek.

Pressing into his hand you closed your eyes, focusing on his touch and that’s when you felt it. You’ve said “I love you” plenty of times before but now you truly felt the impact of those words. The love Lance had was running through his veins, pumping in his body with every beat of his heart.  

“I love you Lance,” you declared but it was more than that, you felt more than the three words could express. Staring into the eyes of the boy who was kind enough to be your friend, who later became the man you knew in your heart you would grow old with, warts and all; you were in love with Lance Tucker.

“I love you too Y/N,” he replied, pressing his lips to yours briefly and pulling you close to his chest.

You were both silent as you laid back on his bed, listening to the sound of his heart beating, savoring the moment together for as long as you could.

You changed back into your jeans, keeping Lance’s large t-shirt on as you went to the kitchen. Dorothy was making breakfast but dropped everything to wrap you into her arms. Lance offered to continue cooking in her place but she insisted she was almost done, plating eggs and toast along with sausage for everyone.

The conversation over breakfast was as awkward as one thinks it might be when you’re discussing being drugged. Lance held your hand, giving reassuring squeezes as you spoke about what it. In the end you decided not to say anything, feeling embarrassed enough that it happened though you understood it was not your fault.

Brendan and Jason were seniors and graduating in a few months. Lance had beat them both up pretty good which you hated to admit made you feel great, and they knew to stay away from both of you. You just wanted to forget them and let the school year end without all the drama that would come with telling on them. Lance never took advantage of you and he beat the shit out of those that tried and you never forgot it.

“I know,” you said, placing a firm hand over his, “I know you wouldn’t do that.”

Lance explained that the gymnastics committee suspended him pending the investigation. In the meanwhile all of his sponsors dropped him and once again he was on the cover of tabloids, with TMZ following him everywhere.

“Someone came forward, saying they heard Frank, Karen’s dad, talking about how they could get back at me– like it was my fault Karen got cut.” He paused to take a drink, his throat becoming increasingly scratchy. “I mean yeah, I made the decision but it wasn’t personal, we didn’t have a spot for her anymore.”

Lance stopped to clear his throat before continuing. “I never recovered from it. The reporters still hounded me even though I was cleared.” He cleared his throat once more, croaking out, “Then they went after my mom.” He looked up to you sorrowfully, tears brimming his eyes.

“She was getting a lot of phone calls harassing her for comments. People started following her when she left work. She got so flustered one day she panicked and backed into a car instead of driving forward. That didn’t help.” He braced his elbows on his thighs, his hands clasped together in front of his mouth.

“She was real stressed out, got bad headaches. Then I get a call from the neighbor saying she had a seizure.”

His shoulders were hunched over now, his body tensing as he continued. “Turns out, she uh…” He stopped to clear his throat again, struggling to speak, “The seizures, the headaches, even the car accident, it was all related t-to…”

You place your hand on his knee, feeling his trembling muscles underneath your touch. Tears escaped down his cheeks as he sighed, “My mom has cancer.”

PART 7

[orribuontheinternet]

Depression and Drawing.

When I was a young lass (I want to say around 7-8 years old), I saw my biological father drawing something while he sat on the porch. The details are fuzzy, but I do remember it being an equine of some sort. He was working in ink. Watching him was so fascinating that I decided that I too wanted to be an artist. To be able to imagine something and put it to paper was a foreign concept to me, one that I was excited about. Oddly enough, my first ever drawing was of an intangible concept: an emotion. I forgot why little me was so knee-deep in sadness at the time, but I remember doodling a self-portrait of a sad, crying baby Olive while holding back my tears. Underneath (or around, I can't recall) was a caption that kind of stated the obvious: "Olivia is sad." When I think about that moment, I wonder if that was a form of foreshadowing since I suffer from...well, Major Depression. But we'll get back to that later. I think this drawing was spawned from a conflict with my siblings, but I can't rightly recall. I do, however, remember that someone tore the picture to pieces. Then came the waterworks.

I want to pause for a second and let you know that I'm going to try not to throw a pity party. I'm not going to whine and stuff this note with melodramatic hyperbole. If you can stomach an emotional artist digging deep into her head and making her introspection tangible, I encourage you to keep reading. If not, I respect your decision to stop.

To segue on to a brighter note, I started drawing in elementary school. I remember the exhilarating feeling of finishing my work. My proudest moment, aside from a (not) Sonic-themed powerpoint, was a storybook I made in fifth grade. It was a flip book of some sort, and very colorful. I think it had something to do with James and the Giant Peach considering it was a book report. But that was an impression I left. Olive, the artist. This carried on into middle school, where I first discovered anime thanks to an art teacher who had the magic VCR/TV cart we 90s kids remember fondly. He showed us Princess Mononoke, one of Hayao Miyazaki's well-renowned works. It was um...horrifying. The film scared the everloving shit out of me, but I was intrigued by it. There was something really cool about the way the people looked, far different from the Ms. Frizzles and Rugrats I came to know. It captivated me, and when I got over the stomach-churning blood and guts the movie presented, I strove to attain that cool aesthetic. I was always doodling during my classes and lunchtime and recess. People came to know me as that kid that draws. Some of them flocked to me and asked me to doodle something for them. It was annoying in hindsight, but at the time it brought me immense pride. People were interested in something I was doing! This development boosted my motivation; I drew picture after picture, happily sharing it with anyone who was interested. It was invigorating! Then high school happened, and I realized I wasn't as amazing as I initially thought I was. In 2006 I was accepted into the prestigious Philadelphia Highschool of Creative and Performing Arts (henceforth shortened to "CAPA," as to avoid the apparent mouthful of syllables). I attended with a major in visual arts, which I took alongside my core classes, i.e., math, science, and English. The first few months were humbling, to say the least. I took ceramics, graphic art, and observational drawing. During this year, I also discovered the magic (to a 15-year-old anyway) of Naruto. That was my biggest obsession since the Dragonball Z/Rurouni Kenshin/Outlaw Star/Big O/etcetera days. Where I used to make "Dark Sonic" characters and the like,  I made a step towards creating a world of my own. Thus, after a painful defeat in an original character tournament, I decided it was time to start harnessing my writing and narrative skills, as well as my drawing skills. And so I strove to improve, even with those dents in my pride. It became something I was proud of, almost an obsession. I wanted to share it with the rest of the world, so I went for it.

(The first piece I’ve shared with the internet via deviantART.)

This is where my real artistic journey began. When I started, I had no idea of how mentally, physically, and emotionally tolling this would be. Half the time I've made things way more difficult than they've needed to be: sleepless nights, crouching over a desk, risky investments that granted little to no return and thus resulted in me digging myself into a deeper hole of debt, periods of psychological agony–I've experienced a great deal since I started creating these...things. In my naivety, I envisioned making money off of my creativity, having fun, meeting fans around the world, and hitting up cons like those really cool people I follow on the internet. I started comparing myself to more celebrated, experienced artists, to the point where I'd cry out of eye and earshot and wonder why I can't be as good as them. Why can't I be as skilled, or successful, I'd ask myself. This is when I should have realized that the Depression I suffer from has a voice. It'd tell me that I'd never amount to anything, let alone reach that level of expertise and fame. It was painfully merciless and cruel, and I was its punching bag. I'd start wondering what the point was and why I should even try to engage in this creative expression. Then, something tragic happened:

I realized I was falling out of love with it.

I didn't feel the same exhilaration I'd get when I finished something as simple as a little scribble. I didn't feel the warm burst of energy that I felt when I'd make a breakthrough.  I desperately scrambled for something–anything–that would rekindle my love for creating again. Then, after some introspection, I decided that I wanted to try for animation. It had always fascinated me during my time in grade school, so I did some research and even wrote a thesis about animation and why it inspired me. To an extent, the passion I have for the arts did come back a little, but it was just a spark. When I started college, I was reluctantly proud of myself. I started dreaming big again, thinking about how amazing it would be if I could create my own animated series and bring my narratives to life. And so, the dreams of being able to support myself and my family returned to the forefront of my mind, again. While I hopped and skipped through my first year at uni, I built a lot of friendships I never thought I'd have after a painful summer season. I thought back to how I tried and failed to start an art team and decided to go for it again. And thus, after planning gatherings and messing around with my friends, Exploding Fairies was born!

(Old Exploding Fairies logo.)

The Depression and my wounded confidence, however, wouldn't allow for anything to go past casual hangouts and being a nuisance to my teammates. Everything boiled down to three things:

1) I was unwilling to relinquish control of any of the facets of the alliance and our stories. To me, the story we worked on was my baby, and only I would have a say in whatever developments occurred. 2) I lacked the leadership and communication skills to collaborate with my partners effectively. 3) Considering the nature of my requests, I SHOULD have been paying my partners as an incentive. I lacked the money to compensate them for their time and talent adequately. I could very well be painting myself in a horrible light considering how terribly influential my depression is to my self-esteem. 

(The image above is by @cucoo.)

(Concept drawings of Dan’s actual identity.)

However, exposure and companionship don't necessarily pay the bills. Besides, I was still a "nobody on the internet!" I may as well have kicked sand in their faces. At least, that's what the disease told me. I grew bitter towards the world when Homestuck and a traumatizing anime gained the admiration of my friends. I became green with envy, wondering why my work didn't win such affection. That summer, I went into overdrive. I started an original character tournament of my own and gained a considerable following. I even found love again! 

After a busy three months, I jumped into my second year of college. This is when I finally collapsed under the weight of my mental ailments. Week after week, I stressed almost hyperbolically to the point where a single mistake could mean the end of the world to me. I officially started as an animation student (the first year was mostly core studies with elective and liberal arts on the side), and I wanted to bring my A-game to the forefront. I was going to wow everyone with my knowledge of technology while I navigated through the hills and valleys of my second year. I got to take a course in digital 2D animation, the media I've had my eyes on since I started my college career. Everything just hinged on whether I could manage my workload (I took 18 credits). Apart from the building stress, financial troubles, and impaired health, everything seemed fine. That notion, however, was shattered when I lost my progress on a 2D animation assignment. It was all over. All of that hard work that I put in (without saving, no less) was destroyed by a corrupted file. I didn't have a backup file ready for such an occasion. Admittedly, it was my fault for letting my guard down. I should have known better as a geeky artist!  To me, there was no way I could ever recover from that. I was an idiot and a crappy artist anyway! I was a failure! I was nothing! All of the horrible thoughts that my sickness cataloged was thrust into my conscious mind, impairing my ability to reason. Devastated and afraid, I called my crush and opened up about what happened. The pressure finally cracked me, and she had to talk me down from attempting suicide.

The turn of events affected everything, from my focus to my ability to complete my assignments. My crush advised me on what steps I should take while moving forward. I was hospitalized to prevent any harm I could bring to myself. I really DID want to escape from the unbearable pain my sick mind caused me. Eventually, I had to contact the dean of students and was referred to an affiliated therapist. After conversing with him and the dean, we all decided that it'd be best if I were committed to an outpatient program to start on the road to recovery. Fast forward to 2012 or 2013, when I completely lost faith in myself as an artist, and thus, my love for art. I didn't think it'd happen, but I hit what I conceived as rock bottom. I swore off drawing. It didn't bring me joy anymore, and why continue dabbling in something that I'd never be good at?

Unfortunately, the resulting slump turned out to be thicker than I'd imagine and I entered a state of deep depression. I rarely got out of bed, I overate and sometimes didn't eat at all, I never picked up a pencil or opened photoshop, never reached out to the people who I knew and who loved me...I was virtually dead to the world. Some good things happened that, in hindsight, I should have cherished. For starters, my crush became my girlfriend, and we lived together in an apartment in Center City. I was too smothered in the fog to show my appreciation and love for her adequately. She loved me and loved my work, which in turn brought back my passion for creating. If I couldn't financially support myself with my art, the least I could do is bring her joy and feed her imagination. 

(We both love semi-horror and anime, so our roleplays took that direction.)

Sadly, thanks to the disease even something as precious as her happiness wasn't enough. When I look back, I can see the hurt in her eyes, but during the time I had such horrible tunnel vision and was so disappointed about things not working out with my art that I couldn't sense that. Me, a self-proclaimed empath! My desperate greed and envy were my downfall, and I limped my way down the artsy-fartsy road. I'd draw fan art and create fan comics, only to become bitter about either the lack of replies or patrons on Patreon or the perceived disregard for any personal ventures I took. 

I did my first convention at Anime Impulse back in 2015, and after a pretty bad time in the artist alley, I swore off drawing again. I remember nights of staring blankly at the computer screen, smashing Command or Control +Z and ultimately throwing my stylus down, closing photoshop, and crying out of frustration. I remember pulling my hair and sobbing when I faced rejection. It was an incredibly painful time for me. That's not to say I still don't experience that now as I totally do, but something happened this year that strengthened my stride.

I posted something on Tumblr earlier this year about my frustration when it comes to creating art. It was specifically about how I get stuck in the "polishing" phase of building a webcomic page, but when I look back, I can actually attribute it to art in general. I became a "perfectionist." Nothing was impressive enough to finish or release, and I'd wind up with more works in progress than finished ones. My morale just kept dipping lower and lower, and finally, when picking up a webcomic project that I started more than a year ago, I vented my frustrations. To this, my crush, who became my fiancé some four years ago, replied with this:

"You polish because you’re not confident with your work because you're in an evolution phase. Fear holds you back. So you go back and edit. And edit. And edit. So stop the cycle. Kill the fear by not letting it have time to take hold."

Her words of encouragement and insight changed my perspective in ways I've never expected. It was almost like it triggered an epiphany or a breakthrough in my mind! I was reminded of her love and faith in me! With that came a ray of hope, that I could try again, and this time, throw my fear-induced caution to the wind! While my depression still has a voice and beats me down from time to time, I realize that it's just scared. I realized that when Brittany and I sat down and played through Celeste together. I related it to my sadness and anxiety surrounding art, and now I'm slowly getting back on my feet. I can't displace the blame and "use" my mental ailments as a scapegoat. I can't come up with excuses to give up on what I do. There is SOMETHING in creating visual media that breathes life into me.

(I started learning to let go.)

Looking towards the future, I hope I can look back on even these trying times and remind myself of where I was and how stronger I've become because of it. I'm still struggling with comparing myself to others and crashing into creative and motivational blocks, but someday I'll rise above it all. Besides, I should be doing it for me, right? The external validation should just be the topping on a sweet sundae.

That's why I keep drawing, in spite of the voice's apprehension. We're going to get through this together, I promise.

[figureditoutkindalikeit-blog]

PART TWO - “We try so hard to hide everything we’re really feeling from those who probably need to know our true feelings the most” – Colleen Hoover, Maybe Someday

The sun was peeking through the tree leaves and even that early in the morning it was very bright. Lori was sitting on a bench at Regent’s Park with her camera on her lap. She enjoyed waking up early on the weekend to go to parks and take pictures of the first rays of sun hit the trees. There was always a poetic vibe to the light on those circumstances and being able to walk around before anyone else got in the parks, gave a sense of creative freedom to her. She was taking a sip of her hot chai, watching as the first few people begin to enter the park, when she got a text. She places her cup next to her and grabs her phone to check it. The text read: “’I have such desire to sleep and am so much behind my sleep. A good night, one good night and all this nonsense will be swept away’ - H”. Lori smiles at it and replies “A bit dark, but suitable for a morning note, I guess”. Harry answers with a smiley emoji. Ever since they realized both wanted to keep in touch but that wish got lost in translation – along with the disappearing note – they started talking a lot over the phone, and picked up the habit of sending each other little notes with quotes from authors they knew or liked. It was an almost every day thing, taking turns on who would send that day. Harry was the one that forgot his notes duties more often, but Lori didn’t mind, ‘coz she knew he worked a lot and almost always had busy days. When that happened, she just kept her notes to herself, waiting until he realized it was his turn, which didn’t take long because he’d end up missing hers and realizing why she wasn’t sending any. Today was Harry’s day. 

Sometimes the only interaction they would have would be the notes, and that was fine. So Lori placed the phone back in her pocket and grabbed her tea from the bench. It was, truly, a beautiful Sunday morning. She was enjoying her peace and quiet when she heard a shout out behind her. She turns around and sees her friend, Jorge.

-          Hey, papi!

-          Buenos dias, mama! – he says with a peck on her cheek.

-          How are you?

-          I’m great, finally a warm morning. I was pretty sure becoming an Eskimo, I’m certain I’d be living in an Igloo if summer didn’t show its face anytime soon.

-          You’re the one that decided to leave Argentina, Jorge.

-          I do miss my porteño sun.

-          Isn’t Argentina pretty cold too, tho?

-          In the winter, as it should be! Summer? Hot!

-          Hm…well. That’s what you get up north, sweetie.

-          Might be true but my latino ass does not appreciate it.

Lori smiles.

-          Where have you been taking that latino ass anyway? I haven’t seen you at the gym lately. You still go there, right?

-          Yeah…well….sort of….

-          You didn’t trade gyms on me, Jorge?! I swear to god…

-          No, no. That’s my gym. It’s just…

-          Jorge!

-          Remember Matt?

-          The juice guy?

-          Smoothie guy!

-          Potato, potato…

-          Well…we’ve been seeing each other…

-          Oh, you finally agreed to go out with him…

-          Yeah, turns out there IS some juice on that smoothie!!!

-          Oh…for a minute there I was happy for you.

-          Ah, c’mon sourpuss. He’s nice.

-          I knew that. I told you that. A million times…you didn’t like his hair, like that’s a good reason for turning someone down.

-          Ah, really? Miss “I don’t date curly haired men”.

-          Ah, ok, that’s unfair…I never said that I wouldn’t date…

They walk out of the park together, arm in arm, talking about their dating endeavors. Jorge had agreed to take Lori out shopping, because she needed a good outfit for a party tonight. Grimmy was having a early birthday party and that was something she couldn’t get out of, not only because she would never do that to Nick, who was a great friend, but because the reason it was an early celebration was because Lori would be flying Italy next week and wouldn’t be in the UK on the actual date, so he decided to have it earlier so she could attend. But she didn’t have anything to wear, other than things Grim’s already seen her in, and she knew he’d be bitter about her repeating an outfit on his birthday, so she needed to make a good impression.

By 1h30 pm, they had already been to three stores, none had anything Lori liked, so they decided to stop for lunch at Andina, the Peruvian restaurant at Shoreditch, before trying some other stores. Jorge comes back from the loo and sees Lori smiling at her phone, before sitting down.

-          Mr. Mystery Man?

-          What? – she says, looking up from her phone.

-          Who are you talking to?

-          What? No one I’m…

-          MMM indeed.

-          What???

-          MMM! Mr. Mystery Man. The guy bringing that smile to your face every time you talk to him.

-          What are you talking about? What smile? What man?

-          Tú piensas que soy tonto, mama? I Love you, but you’re a bitter bitch. Not many drag a smile out of you that effortlessly. Wanna know who does? Un hombre!!!

-          How can you be so sure of that?

Jorge just raises his eyebrows at her. She didn’t even realize she was smiling, but he was right, she was talking to someone that made her happy. Harry had just asked her if she was going to Nick’s party, which meant he was, and that made her very happy. The prospect of seeing Harry live again made her get all sorts of feelings.

She just puts her phone down, looking unfazed at Jorge.

-          No point in pretending to be unbothered now, mama. Your teeth sold you out 5 minutes ago. – he says as the waiter brings them their meals.

Later, at a store, Lori was trying a dress she wasn’t sure about.

-          I don’t know Jorge…it’s too revealing…

-          That’s the whole point.

-          It’s a friends party, I don’t want to reveal anything…especially not to him, I’ll never hear the end of it… - she says already picturing Nick’s face when he sees that cleavage.

As Lori looks at herself at the mirror, Jorge takes her phone from her coat and goes through it. He smiles at the sight of what he was looking for, so he takes a picture of her reflection in the mirror, without her seeing it.

-          I mean…it’s not me, you know? And I don’t think it would be the right occasion as well…

-          To look hot? Every occasion is the right occasion to turn some heads around. Plus, your friend seems to like it.

Lori turns around to find Jorge playing with her phone.

-          What?

-          Edward? He likes it. – He says showing her her own phone.

-          Whaaaaat have you doooone??? – She says grabbing the phone from him.

Jorge sent the picture to Harry, who was listed on her contacts as Edward. He sent the picture with a question mark caption. Harry answered with another question mark.

-          What do you think? – Jorge sent as her.

-          Uhm. Looks nice?! – Harry answered.

-          Do you like it?

-          Yeah. Sure.

-          Would you like to see it tonight at the party?

-          Ha ha. Yeah, sure. Why not? I’ll have to dress up!

Lori could feel her face boiling. Jorge was smiling from ear to ear.

-          WHAT…HAVE…YOU….DONE????? – she says throwing every piece of clothing she could grab at him. – Jorge!!! WHY? Why would you do that?????

-          Queeee??? Now you know he’ll like it.

-          WE’RE NOT DATING YOU MORON! He’s just a friend….oh my god… - she says melting down until she’s completely horizontal on the floor of the fitting room.

-          A friend? Cariño, I’m a friend. And I sure as hell know I don’t get a smile out of you the way he does.

-          Yeah, you know why??? Because he WOULD NEVER DO THIS!!!! – she says sitting up and throwing more stuff at Jorge.

-          Well, it doesn’t matter. What matters is: he likes it…enough for him to want to “dress up”…if you play nice maybe he’ll want to dress down as well later.

-          Vete a la mierda, Jorge!!!!

He Just laughs.

Later that night, Lori is sitting in the car, parked in front of the club Nick’s birthday was at.

-          Ehm…miss?

Lori looks at the taxi driver.

-          Is this the right address?

-          Yes

-          Are…you……coming in? – he says wondering why it’s been 15 minutes since they’ve arrived and she was still inside the car.

-          Ah, yes, sorry. Just….building up the courage.

-          Big night?

-          Potential horrible night.

-          Oh…good luck, then, love.

-          Thank you! – She says paying him and exiting the car.

She stays put at the sidewalk, looking at the building, for another good 30 seconds.

-          Miss…

She turns around and the car is still there, with the driver by the window.

-          I don’t mean to rush ya, love…but I have to keep working for the night…and I can’t just leave you standing there…

-          Oh, right, sorry. Thanks!!! I’ll…I’ll get in. Thank you for your concern, sir.

He smiles and watches her go up to the door. She turns around and waves at him, that waves back and drives off. What a nice man, she thought. She turns around to face the door and the pit in her stomach resumes. She considered not going the whole drive there, but every time she almost told the driver to turn around, she remembered Nick, and how annoying he would be Monday at work. So she takes a deep breath and enters the club. The music inside was loud and the place was packed with people drinking, dancing, having a good time. Lori glances at the dance floor and sees a couple of familiar faces. Some from work, some friends Nick introduced her to already. Thankfully, no Harry. Maybe he couldn’t come, that would be a relief. She walks up to the bar, looking for Nick all the way there. She calls the bartender.

-          What can I get you, love?

-          Anything that gets me drunk. Fast.

-          Are ya sure? – he says, laughing.

-          Like I’ve never been before!

-          Ok. One strong drink coming.

She sits at the stool and looks around for Nick once more. The bartender brings her a glass with a fluorescent liquid inside.

-          What the…

-          Don’t let the looks fool ya. The pretty ones are always the ones that hits ya the hardest – he says with a wink.

-          I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks. – she says taking the glass in her hand.

She looks at the limey orange drink and thinks twice before drinking it. But she really needed something to fill the hole in her stomach; she thought why not something that looked like Homer Simpson concocted. So she takes a sip and is pleasantly surprised by how good it tasted. A few people come up to her to say hi, each time made her jump in her seat thinking it was Harry. But the sips she kept taking from her drink helped her not feel so alarmed anymore, when Nick finally comes up to her.

-          There you are!!!

-          Niiiiiickkk!!! Heeey baby! – she says throwing herself to hug him.

-          Jesus!!! How many of those have you had already? – He says picking her back up on the seat.

-          What? This? Erm…JULIO! – she says calling the bartender.

-          His name is not Julio – Nick says laughing.

-          I don’t care. Julio always seems like a suitable name for a bartender, so for tonight…this is Julio – she says pointing at the bartender arriving to them.

-          Hi. Sorry. – Says Nick, smiling.

-          How many of those have you made me already, Julio? – she says lifting her almost empty glass.

-          Three.

-          Three!!! – She says making the number with her fingers to Nick.

-          Oh, ok…well…maybe that’s enough?

-          What? Why??? It’s goooood….

The bartender laughs, cleaning a glass.

-          She asked to get drunk. Sat here and never left. I’m guessing she needed that. – says the bartender to Nick.

-          Yeah, well, she doesn’t drink that much…

-          What is in this anyway? – she says now looking at the bottom of her glass, examining the content.

-          Devil Springs – says the bartender.

-          Oh… - says Nick taking the glass out of Lori’s hand. – Three glasses of Devil Springs is enough for you.

-          What is Devil Springs?

-          Vodka – says the bartender.

-          What? I’ve had vodka before…Nick…why are you taking my vodka away from me?

-          You’ll be saying goodbye to that vodka into a toilet if you keep this up…and that’s expansive shit, so let’s keep it in as much as we can, yea? – says Nick picking her up.

-          Uhh…

He tries carrying her out of the bar, but she insists that she’s not drunk and can walk by herself, thank you very much. So he just walks beside her, guiding her to the upper floor of the club.

-          Oh, VIP? – she says as a big security guard takes a rope out of her way. – You bitch, why didn’t you say there was VIP? I would’ve kept looking for you forever…

-          I did. I told you to look for me at the upper floor.

-          I thought I was at the upper floor.

-          Jesus, woman!

They walk up to a couple of couches near a balcony, with a big coffee table at the center. She immediately blushes at the sight of Harry, sitting in one of them. He was talking to another guy and didn’t seem to notice she was there, so she turned around trying to leave but Nick was right behind her.

-          What are you doing? – says Nick, serious.

-          I’m…going….to take a wee.

Nick raises his eyebrows.

-          You’re going to take a wee….

-          Yes! That’s right – she says with a sudden confident tone of voice – I had too much vodka, I need to pee. – she says smiling.

-          Are you sure you don’t want to throw up?

-          What? No!!! I’m NOT drunk!

She realizes her tone of voice was too loud, so she turns around and sees Harry looking at her. Shit!

-          You want me to take you to the bathroom? – says Nick behind her.

-          I’m…

Harry was just staring at her, taking a dip of his drink.

-          I…

-          Goddamit woman are you having a stroke or something??? – says Nick losing his patience.

-          Heeey, be nice. – Says Harry.

-          Are you going to throw up???? Because if you are I beg you not to do it in the middle of the lounge, it will KILL your career, sister! – says Nick, grabbing her by the shoulders.

-          Are you feeling sick? – says Harry getting up.

-          I’m……

Both Nick and Harry standing in front of her, looking concerned.

-          I think she’s short circuiting or something, Harry.

-          Stop being mean, Nick. – He says, smiling at his friend. – Lori, are you alright? Do you need us to get someone to take you to the bathroom?

-          No, I’m fine. – she says finally snapping out of it. – Sorry, I was…I forgot you would be here.

-          Ah – says Harry.

-          Ah, great. Of course – Says Nick rolling his eyes and leaving.

Harry looks Lori up and down and goes back up to her eyes.

-          What happened to the black dress? – He says putting his non drink-holding-hand in his pocket.

Lori widens her eyes, feeling her skin warm up. Harry had a sarcastic smirk on his face that did not make it easier.

-          I…

-          Oh, no, no. Forget I asked that. If you’re going back to stutter… - Harry says laughing.

Lori smiles.

-          Sorry. I’m not…it’s just…a friend of mine…

-          Yeah, I figured that. – he says smiling and taking a sip of his drink. – Wanna sit?

-          Yeah, I probably should.

Harry laughs and they both sit at the sofa he was in before.

-          This is Rom, by the way. – he says, introducing the man he was talking to before.

-          Hi Roman. – She hands out her hand to shake his.

-          Hi. Lori, right?

-          Yeah.

-          Nice to meet you. I’ve heard about you.

-          Oh, have you? – she says looking at Harry.

-          Don’t flatter yourself – says Harry taking another sip of his drink. She smiles.

-          He mentioned you were coming…didn’t say you were so cute, tho. Why don’t you introduce me to your cute friends, Harry?

-          I just did. – Says Harry. – You can do better – he whispers to Lori.

-          Whoa, thanks, mate. Thank you very much.

-          You have a girlfriend.

-          Oh, yeah…sorry! – Roman says to Lori.

-          Did I do something that made you think I was interested?

-          OOH! – Says Harry leaning against Lori, looking at Roman.

-          Whoa. Cold! How’s Arendalle doing lately, my queen?

-          Pretty good. Thanks for asking. – Says Lori, smiling. – Kristoff’s wondering where you’ve been, however.

-          Am I Sven? – Roman looks at Harry – Harry, am I Sven?

-          You do like carrots a lot. – Says Harry laughing.

-          Jesus! – says Roman leaning back. – I need a drink after that.

Roman leaves to get a drink, leaving Harry alone with Lori. They talk all through the night, until Nick steals Lori to dance with him. Harry stays put, after refusing to join them dancing.

-          Sooo… - says Nick dancing. – What’s up with Harry?

-          What’s up with him? I don’t know…

-          Don’t play dumb. You’re smarter than most people I know. What’s up with you two…you’ve been talking to him all night. I’m not sure I like it… - he says squinting his eyes to her.

-          Don’t worry Nick. We’re just friends.

-          Uhum…

-          We are. We like talking to each other…

-          Uh, sexy!

-          Ah, shut up!

-          Do you have a crush or what?

-          What???

-          C’mon, everyone’s got a crush on Harry.

-          Ah, lovely. That’s exactly what a girl wants to find out…that she has to share her crush with EVERYONE.

-          Oh, so you DO have a crush?

-          Wh…no!!! I don’t. We’re friends.

-          Don’t lie to me.

-          I’m not lying, Grim.

-          Hm…well, watch out for that. It’s not very healthy having a crush on Mr. Styles. Even as lovely as he is…probably why it’s not a good idea anyway.

-          What?

-          You know…nice people…they’re like drugs. You go in, just for a taste, because they feel nice…but then getting out is impossible, because…they make you feel nice.

-          Are you comparing Harry Styles to cocaine? – she says after a second.

-          Fancy you picking cocaine. Why is that?

-          Wh…what drug were you thinking of?

-          Ecstasy.

-          Holy shit, that’s hardcore, Grim.

-          Harry Styles is hardcore, love. – He says twirling, holding her hand.

-          Oh, I’ll be sure to tell him you said that.

-          You better not, you little wanker!

Lori laughs. She dances with Nick for a while, until her feet let her know she needs a chair, so she goes back to the couch right when Rita Ora shows up and Nick turns his attention to her. She finds the couch empty and sits, looking around, trying to find a familiar face in the crowd. After a while looking, she sees Roman with a couple of drinks on his hand. He waves at her from across the lounge.

-          Where’s Harry? – she mouths to him.

He frowns trying to understand what she was saying. She repeats and he looks around, before he shrugs.

-          I think he left – he mouths back to her.

-          Oh, ok! Thanks – she mouths, giving a thumbs up to him.

He lifts his left hand and puts the other over his stomach, asking if she wanted to dance. She felt a bit bummed out about Harry leaving, but she knew she had to stay longer for Nick, so decides to enjoy the night and says yes to Roman, going up to him to dance. He was a terrible dancer, but a fun guy.

It was probably the headache that made her wake up with just the vibration of her phone next to her pillow. She opens her eyes and it felt like there was sand in them, so she blinks a couple of times before grabbing her phone to see what the notification was about. The bright light from the screen almost blinds her, so she turns the brightness down before anything else and, after recovering her vision, she looks up at the phone again to see 50 text messages. 45 of them were drunk texts from Nick, 4 were from Roman and 1 was from Harry. It read “u awake?”. She checks the time stamp and sees that he sent it 5 minutes ago, so she places her phone on her chest, both hands over it, thinking for a bit. Did she really want to reply him? At 4h20 am? Did she want Harry to know she was awake and, apparently, ready to answer his texts whatever hour he felt convenient? She decides to get up and go to the bathroom before anything else. She grunts since the light there almost blinded her too.

Back in bed, she picks up the phone, staring at Harry’s message. She decided to reply.

-          Hey – she writes.

He sends a smile after a few seconds.

-          Did I wake ya?

-          No – she lies.

-          Good. I didn’t see how late it was.

-          It’s ok. I wasn’t sleeping.

-          Sorry I left

-          What?

-          Tonight?! Sorry I left without saying bye. I ran into an old friend…

-          An old…friend?! – She asks, immediately regretting doing it so. He doesn’t reply – You don’t have to answer that, I shouldn’t intrude, sorry. – She rushes to fix her faux pas.

-          It’s ok.

Truth be told she always told herself that she didn’t like Harry that way, but the thought of him leaving the party with an “old friend” pinched her stomach harder then she thought. Which made her a bit concern about how she really felt about him.

-          You wanna do something tomorrow? – He asks.

-          Like what?

-          Dunno. Whatever you want to.

-          Hm. Late lunch and ice cream?

-          Ha. Ok, good! Pick you up?

-          Nah, we’ll meet there.

-          Ok, cool. See ya tomorrow then.

The next day, Lori is sitting at the table, under the shade, sipping her ice tea, observing people around her, when Harry walks in the restaurant’s yard. He looked very comfy. Looked around for Lori, taking his sunglasses off. She waves and he walks up to her and sits down, after giving her a kiss on the cheek.

-          How’s the hangover?

-          What? I don’t know what you’re talking about – She says, fixing the sunglasses she was wearing even though she was in the shade. Harry just smiles. – How about you? How are you feeling today?

-          Me? I’m great! – He says leaning back on the chair, putting lowering his Gucci sunglasses while he leaned his head into the sunlight.

-          Show off!

Harry laughs. He looked very comfy in his baggy clothes, but still very fashionable, as usual. They have lunch, while talking about the night before, transitioning to work and their latest projects. When they finish lunch and decide to walk up to a ice cream shop, Harry starts talking about the new music he’s been working on and Lori tries to get a little preview out of him, but he keeps his mouth shut about it.

-          It’s not like I’m going to tell anyone about it…

-          I know that.

-          Ok, you don’t want to show me, that’s fine, as long as you promise you’ll write something about me.

Harry laughs.

-          Yeah. I don’t care what’s about. It can be like “that annoying girl that keeps texting me stupid things and doesn’t leave me alone”…but it has to be about me.

-          I can bitch about ya?

-          Yeah, as long as I know it’s me you’re bitching about. I just want a Harry Styles song.

-          Ha! – he says while holding the door open for Lori to enter the ice cream shop. – What is this place?

-          It’s my favorite place in London. They’re an Italian “gelateria” that makes these artisanal fresh gelatos. SO good. I’m obsessed with their Mascarpone and Figs gelato.

-          Sounds good.

They get their order and leave again, eating whilst walking through the streets of Notting Hill, which makes Lori pretend to be Hugh Grant, getting a laugh out of Harry. Harry gives Lori his neck scarf to tie up her hair, since the hot sun kept making her hold her hair up, and they sit to rest in front of Kensington Palace. Since the place had a rather high tourist circulation, some people would stop to ask Harry for pictures, which he didn’t mind at all, up until people started to gather around him. So he nudged Lori on the back and advised them to leave. He took the last pictures with some fans that were still waiting for him and politely thanked everyone before leaving towards Lori’s direction.

-          You’re so nice. – She says as they walk away from the crowd.

-          Thanks?! – He says with a timid smile.

-          Sure, but I mean it. Not everyone would be as patient as you are. No wonder everyone loves you so much.

Harry smiles.

-          Well you don’t need the money with a face like that, do ya honey? – she says with a big smile.

-          What? – he says with a confused frown.

She repeats the line with the Jets song melody this time.

-          Ah! Are you saying you want me to be your girl? – He says, smiling.

-          A few years ago that song could be about you.

-          What? – He says laughing.

-          Yeah. The chorus says “big black boots, long brown hair, she’s so sweet with her get-back stare”…that’s you in 2015.

Harry belts out a laugh.

-          Oh, really?

-          Yeah…”oh I could see, you home with me, but you are with another man, yeah”…you did a photoshoot for Another Man, didn’t ya?

Harry thinks for a second about Lori’s theory.

-          You know what…you’re right. That might be about me.

Lori smiles in triumph.

-          At least that’s what I’ll be saying from now on – He says, smiling. – You want to grab dinner? – He continues after a few seconds.

-          Sure. You don’t have dinner plans?

-          I do. But I can cancel them.

-          You don’t have to…

-          Nah, it’s ok. – he says while texting. – What you want for dinner?

-          I don’t know?

-          Let’s grab something and go home watch a movie…or do you rather actually going to the cinema? – he says raising his eyes up to look at Lori.

-          You go to cinemas?

-          Yes?! – he answers laughing.

-          Hm…as much as I’d love to go home and watch something in the comfort of my sofa…I’d actually like to go to the cinema. It’s been a while.

-          Ok, let’s find something to watch then. – he says stretching his arm so Lori and wrap hers around it.

They finally decide on a film and find a near cinema to go to. They wait after the session starts to enter, after the room is already dark. The cinema wasn’t packed, so at the last row, where they sit, they were the only ones. Lori fixes the popcorn they were sharing on her lap while Harry sits at the very end of the chair, stretching his legs on the back of the chair in front of him. The movie starts and, instead of watching it, Harry and Lori spend the entire time analyzing the few people at the room. Guessing which ones were couples on dates, which ones were friends, which ones were alone; and then making up dialogues every time they saw two people talking. They burst into laughter when they were making up a dialogue for two people that seemed like they were having a heated argument, which inspired their dialogue, and out of the sudden they started making out. For a split second, Harry and Lori were silently surprised by the sudden flame between the couple, before laughing quietly. Two thirds into the movie, Harry decided to look up at the big screen for the first time, while stuffing his mouth with popcorn.

-          What is this movie about anyway? – He asks.

-          It’s…uhm…

Lori takes her phone out and google the title of the movie.

-          It’s the story about a musician that moves to New York in search of his dream of Broadway and ends up involved in a murder during the play…it’s set in the 30’s.

-          That sounds interesting – he says after couple of seconds.

-          Makes sense, since we picked this movie to watch…

-          We should have watched it…d’you think we’ll understand anything if we start watching now?

-          I don’t know…

Fifteen minutes in, Lori looks at Harry, almost sleeping.

-          I’m guessing that’s a no?

-          What?

-          Do you understand what’s going on?

-          Ah, no, sorry…I was day dreaming…

Lori laughs. They start assuming what’s going on, making up the whole plot of the movie, based on the synopsis Lori read before. The movie, that in the real plot ends with a twist and a romantic ending for the lead, in their version ends with a ridiculous Monty Python “tragedy”, that makes them giggle all through the end credits. Every time someone would pass by them, with an inquisitive look, Harry would hide behind Lori, since they couldn’t stop laughing like idiots. After everyone leaves, they finally do the same. After grabbing a quick dinner, Harry takes her home.

-          You want some tea? – she asks, while unlocking her door.

-          No, thanks. I have an early meeting...

-          Uh, business man.

-          Nah, it’s just to check some samples…

Lori widens her eyes, looking at Harry. He laughs.

-          You wanna come?

-          Really?

-          Yeah, sure. I’d like your opinion.

-          You said you don’t like outside people listening to your stuff before it’s done.

-          I’ll make an exception. Besides, you being there might work nice as inspiration for that song about an annoying girl.

-          Whatever works for ya, honey!

Harry smiles.

-          You’ll come? – he asks.

-          I have to work tomorrow morning, but I’ll try to swing by before I clock in.

-          Ok, I’ll text ya the address.

-          Ok.

Harry gives Lori a kiss and walks back to his car.

-          Today was fun – he says before getting into his car, leaving Lori with a big smile on her face.

She walks inside her apartment feeling giddy. A big fluffy ragdoll cat jumps on the sofa next to her, meowing.

-          Today was, indeed, a fun day, Mush! – she says to the cat.

Her phone chirps inside her purse, so she drops Mushroom to get to her phone. She checks her message.

-          “I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then”- H – Harry texted – Almost forgot it was my turn.

-          It’s not – she texts back

-          What?

-          You sent one yesterday, but since you’re in a serious red ledger, I’ll add that up to your debt – She texts with a wink. He replies with the same emoticon.

The next few days, Lori and Harry met up a few more times, until the day before he had to travel outside of the UK again, when he invited her to a party he was going to.

“I’ve spent so much time in my mind and in my heart that I forgot to live in my body” – L. Harry answered the note with a picture of a crumbled piece of paper.

-          Why are you texting me garbage? – She writes.

-          Your post-it – He answers.

-          What??

-          The disappearing note that you left me the day you slept here.

-          OMG! I TOLD YA!!!! Where was it?

-          Under my fridge.

-          Shit!

-          Innit? See ya tonight?

-          Yep

That night, Lori dresses up and is quite happy with how she looks, checking herself in the mirror before leaving for the party. A feeling reaffirmed by Harry’s look, when she walks up to him at the club.

-          Look at ya.

She twirls before giving him a hug.

-          You look great.

-          Thanks!

-          This is Jeff – he says pointing to the man next to him.

-          Hey!

-          Hi, nice to meet ya, finally. – Says Jeff.

-          Yeah, likewise. I heard a lot about you – she says, shaking Jeff’s hand. – Feels like every story Harry ever tells, you’re in it.

-          Lately, likewise. – Says Jeff smiling.

-          Ok, stop it you two. – Says Harry splitting them up. – Join me? – He asks lifting his glass.

-          Who? – Jeff and Lori answer in unison.

Harry smiles.

-          Both? – He asks.

A few drinks in and after Harry gets slightly drunk, he drags his friends to the dance floor. They dance the night away and, by the time the music changes to 80’s pop, Harry and Jeff are already wasted, while Lori maintains a safe level of sobriety as a promise to Jeff, to keep an eye on both of them. Harry leaves to take a wee and Lori keeps dancing with Jeff, holding Harry’s coat like a matador cape.

After what felt like too long, Lori tells Jeff to check up on Harry, since there was no way he’d be taking that long to take a wee. He agrees and leaves Lori at the bar, before going after his friend. She puts Harry’s coat and orders a club soda. After she gets her glass, she sits facing the dance floor and begins to watch people dance, while playing with the straw in her drink. She almost chokes on her cherry as she sees Harry across the other side of the dance floor, talking to a blonde girl. She was clearly flirting with him, playing with her hair and occasionally touching Harry’s shirt. Lori stares at that scene, not sure how it made her feel, but with a dead cold expression. He seemed to enjoy the attention, since even from far away Lori could tell the girl was very attractive. She was tall, had a beautiful smile, and the short skirt made her legs look even longer. No doubt a model, Lori thought. She saw Jeff sneaking up to Harry, what brought a faint smile to her lips. Harry turns to Jeff and whispers something to him, he nods and leaves him to turn his attention back to the blonde girl. Lori frowns at that. A few minutes later Jeff finds her again.

-          Hey! – He says, grabbing his drink.

-          Hi again…did you find him? – She lied.

-          Yeah.

-          Did he drown in the toilet?

Jeff smiles.

-          No, he ran into a friend on the way back.

-          Ah, popular boy. – She pretends to be unbothered by that.

-          Yeah, that’s how it usually goes.

-          I know, I remember. – She says in an introspective tone.

-          Oh?

-          Hm? Ah, nothing…that happened last time we went out. So I feel your frustration.

Jeff smiles.

-          It’s not frustration, he has a lot of friends…as long as he’s happy.

-          You’re a good friend, Jeff.

-          I’d like to think I am, yeah. – He laughs. – How about you? Does it bother you when he elopes?

-          Me? No. I’m on the same page you are. As long as he’s happy. Harry is probably one of my best friends by now, so I share the feeling. – She says high fiving Jeff.

She knew she was lying to him and to herself. It did bother her. She wasn’t sure why. She didn’t like him that way. She knew she was jealous, but she’s always been jealous of her friends and maybe that’s what she was feeling. She ponders about it and maybe it bothered her that it was Harry’s last night in the country and she thought she’d be able to have the whole night with him and now he was 100% focused on another girl. She looks at Jeff texting and sipping his drink and looks back at Harry. After staring at him flirting back with the girl for a few minutes, she decided to turn backwards to face the bar. That scene made something boil up inside her, a mix of anger and sadness, and it also felt wrong to intrude in Harry’s business like that. That many emotions overwhelmed her, so she decides to have a Mascal instead of her club soda. Jeff just peeks over his phone as she turns the shot glass in a split second. She puts the glass down and Jeff puts his in front of her without saying a word. She looks at it and looks at Jeff, eyes fixed on his phone.

-          I’m good – She smiles at him.

-          You sure?

-          Yeah…

Jeff taps her on the shoulder, which, somehow, comforts her a lot. She turns to talk to him instead of worrying about Harry. After an hour or so, Jeff announces he has to go, so he tries to find Harry in the party. Lori remains at the bar, sipping a drink, until Jeff returns.

-          Couldn’t find him…

Lori looks over her shoulder at Jeff, before he leans against the bar, scanning the dance floor another time.

-          He might have left…you want a ride home?

-          Thanks. – She says smiling, before looking around the room – I think I saw someone I know earlier. I might try to find him…

-          Are you sure?

-          Yeah. Thanks Jeffie!

He smiles, gives her a kiss and leaves the party. Lori gets up and starts walking around the club.

-          Thought I saw ya… - She says with a smile.

-          Mamacita!!!! – Says Jorge, clearly a few drinks too many, raising both arms up, spilling a bit of his drink on everyone around him.

-          Hey Papi! – She says laughing, pulling his arms down – Put your arms down, man. You’re showering everyone…

-          How you doing, mama? Que buena estás, mi preciosa!

-          Are you flirting?

-          Por qué? Te gusta?

-          No, checking your alcohol levels…

-          Want a drink? Matty!!! – He screams out of the sudden.

A blonde, lean guy comes up to them from within the crowd.

-          Look at that tall drink!!! – Says Jorge wrapping his arm around Matt.

-          Juice guy!! – Says Lori, smiling.

-          Smoothie!!!!

-          Hi! – Says Matt with a big, seemingly sober, smile.

-          Nice to see you outside the “SmoothU” uniform.

-          You too, without the gym clothes.

-          Not half bad, right?

Matt smiles.

-          Matty’s an Aussie! – Says Jorge putting his arm around Matt’s neck.

-          I know Jorge. I’ve been “Smoothed” by him before.

-          Que??? – Says Jorge without understanding the pun.

-          I’ve been…...we go to the same gym he works at, remember. We talked before.

-          Oh…no sabia…

-          Yes you did know.

-          He’s very drunk – Says Matt.

-          Figures… - Agrees Lori, laughing.

Jorge and Matt were one of those couples you kind of feel jealous of, they were both incredibly handsome. Matt was very tall, blonde, lean and fit. He had grayish eyes and a nice friendly smile, surrounded by a great gingerish scruff. Jorge, however, was very strong – with a bit of belly he named his fanny (pack) – short, caramel skin, dark hair, hazel eyes and a heartthrob smile, defined as such by himself, which Lori did not disagree with. He was clearly in love with Matt, or the vodka made him believe so, and Lori knew Matt had a crush on him for a long time, so seeing them finally together made her very happy. She was thinking about how lucky they were then she felt a nudge on her shoulder. She turns around and is surprised by the sight of a very drunk Harry.

-          Hey baby! – He says looking around.

-          Harry??? I thought you left…

-          Have you seen Jeff? – He slurred out, with heavy eyelids.

-          No, he already left, honey. – She says giving him her hands, since his were browsing the air around her, looking for something to hold. – Are you ok?

-          Me? Yeah, I’m…oh…there’s my jacket!!! – He slurs out, grabbing the sleeve of his coat while holding her hand.

-          Yeah, you gave me to hold when you went to the loo…

-          Oh, did I? – He says frowning.

-          Yes – Says Lori containing her laugh. – Are you sure you’re ok, Har?

-          I’m great. Slightly drunk, yea?

-          Slightly?

-          Ok, a lot! I’m wasted, that’s it, innit?

Lori was sure the only thing keeping him from swaying around was the tight grip he had on her arms.

-          You disappeared, so Jeff left… - She says, getting closer to him, so he could put his arm around her shoulders, giving him more support.

-          Fucking wanker! – He says in the most Cheshire accent Lori’s ever heard.

-          That’s not fair. You did disappear. He tried texting ya…

-          Still a wanker. Should’ve waited for me, yea? Like you did. Aw. You did! – He says suddenly wrapping his other arm around her and throwing himself over her. – You’re a good friend! – he leans back, resting his right elbow on her shoulder while pointing at her with his right hand – You…y-you are not a wanker.

-          Good to know – Says Lori giving him a smile.

-          I love ya, bub! – He says going back in to hug her.

-          Ok Harry. I love you too, puppy!

-          Ha! Puppy! – He says without releasing himself from the hug, through hiccups.

She rubs his back and he leans back again.

-          Can I ask you a favor? If it’s not…if it’s not impos…what are you laughing at? – He says frowning at Lori’s expression.

-          I’m not! – She says biting her lip to avoid it.

He grabs her chin and pulls, down, making her release her bottom lip and letting out a slight puff of air.

-          Yeah y’are! Is this funny to ya? – He says with the most fake offended expression ever.

-          Not at all, Mr. Styles – She says smiling.

-          I’m drunk! I’m fucked up drunk and y’re laughing? At my face? Just like that? – he says one hand firmly grabbing her elbow, the other resting on his waist.

-          Maybe I am a wanker! – She says shrugging.

-          Nooo. No, no…y’re not! – He goes back into the hug.

-          Jesus Christ… - Lori lets out, laughing.

-          Ok, I’m s-I’m sorry. I’m annoying ya…I’ll… - He says letting go from her and turning around.

-          No!!! Harry get back here. – She says grabbing his waist.

-          Oh! Oh…careful there… - he grabs her hands and turns around to face her again – Careful with those handsies…

Lori laughs.

-          What do you want, Har?

-          What happened to puppy? I liked puppy.

-          Ok – says Lori shaking her head – What do you need, puppy?

-          I don’t know. What do I need? – He says with very innocent eyes, honestly not knowing what she was talking about.

-          I…I don’t know Harry, you said you needed to ask me a favor…

-          I did?

-          Yeah

-          Oh…ehm… - He says with one hand on his chin, trying to remember, the other back on her shoulder, gripping her tight. – OH! I need a ride.

-          What?

-          I need a ride home…you see…I have to be…careful…

He stops mid sentence, index finger in front of his own face, squinting his eyes, while Lori waits for him to finish. Which he doesn’t.

-          I think I’m fucked up. – He says in a defeated tone.

-          Oh, honey. You most definitely are. – Says Lori, grabbing both his shoulders.

-          Can you take me home, please?

-          Of course, pup! I just have to say goodbye to a friend.

-          Who? Me?

Lori stares at Harry, considering if he actually asked her that or if he was joking.

-          N...no. Another friend…

-          You have other friends? – He asks, shocked.

-          I do.

-          But you like me better, yea?

-          Unfortunately that’s also true.

He gives her a big drunk smile. She turns around to look for Jorge and sees him sitting at a sofa with Matt. She walks up to him, with Harry clenched on her arm.

-          Papi, I have to go.

-          Whaaat? Por qué? We didn’t even get you drunk yet…

-          Oh, I’m good. Trust me – Says Lori. She could feel Harry very close behind her, nudging his nose on her shoulder.

Jorge sees Harry behind her and jumps up in a surprising speed. He stays put for a few seconds, clearly waiting for the blood to go back up to his head, and leans in.

-          Quién es este?

-          Ehm…Edward… - She attempts, since Jorge didn’t seem to recognize Harry.

-          Ooooooh…que bandida!! “Solo amigos”, hm?

Surprisingly good memory for someone that drunk, Lori thinks.

-          Ok, I need to take him home.

-          I bet you do! – Says Jorge pouting his lips.

-          You’re very handsome – Suddenly says Harry behind Lori’s shoulder.

-          Gracias, cariño. Oh I like him!!

Lori smiles, rolling her eyes, and waves goodbye at Jorge.

-          Give Matty a kiss for me.

-          I’ll give him more than that, mama!

Lori drags Harry out with her, diverting the crowd, until they finally reach the street and the cold London air. Very fresh air, compared to the stuffed environment they were just in. It makes Lori give a long deep breath, before looking around for a cab. Harry was still attached like a sloth to her arm, when she signals a car. The cab drives up to them, Lori opens the door and helps Harry get in. It crosses her mind how glad she was about how late into the night they were, making the street very deserted, with the exception of the security guard at the club door and a few people going home. It wouldn’t be nice for Harry to be seen this drunk, she knew he’d regret it in the morning.

After Harry is nicely buckled in, Lori lands a kiss on his cheek.

-          Please be…

She stops mid sentence, looking at Harry leaning his head against the door, almost sleeping.

-          …ugh – She says getting in the cab as well.

They drive up to his house, Harry sleeping on her shoulder the whole ride. When they finally arrive, she wakes him up and helps him get up to his house, as the cab waits for her. Harry takes a few minutes looking for his keys and fails at attempting to fit the key into the keyhole, before giving up and allowing Lori to open the door. They both walk in, Harry throws himself on his stomach on the couch, while Lori puts his keys on the table.

-          Are you ok, Harry?

-          Yhmnh… - he mumbles through the pillows.

-          Harry… - She says crouching next to him, with her hand on his shoulder. – Honey, are you ok? Can I go home and trust you to rehydrate?

-          No – He says turning his head to face her.

-          No??

-          No. Can you stay?

Lori looks at him staring at her with his half closed eyes.

-          Please?

-          Yeah, ok. I’ll just pay the cab, hang on.

She gets up and walks back to the cab, thanking him and paying for the drive. She goes back inside the house, locks up and finds Harry sleeping on the couch. She considers leaving him to sleep there, but his weird disposition on it could only end with him in pain tomorrow. So she gently taps him on the shoulder and helps him up to his bedroom. He sits on his bed and throws himself back. So Lori leans down to take his shoes off for him. She only hears him attempting to say “thank you” from the bed. She turns around to put his shoes by the closet and when she turns back he’s pulling his pants down with a lot of effort.

-          My god, how drunk are you?! – She whispers to herself.

She helps him finish undressing and tucks him in. Then she goes to the kitchen and grabs a bottle of water, goes back to his room and places it on the nightstand, next to him. She sits at the edge of the bed, looking at him sleeping and smiles. Even drunk he had a very childlike quality to him. Before she gets up, his hand searches for hers and, once it finds it, he leans in and lays his head on her lap, making her hold her breath. She stays perfectly still for a few seconds, not knowing what to do. So she decides to stay there for a little bit, as he held her hand tight, with his head resting on her thighs.

She didn’t even know how long she was sitting there, looking at Harry sleeping like a child on her lap, before she decides to carefully slip away from under him and trying her best to put him back on his pillow without waking him up. She manages do to so, and gets up, realizing his hand is still tightly gripped around hers. She looks at it for a few seconds, before trying to untangle his fingers from hers, slowly. She’s halfway through when he grabs her hand firmly again, making her raise her eyes to him.

-          Thanks – He mumbles softly, without opening his eyes.

-          What? – She whispers.

-          Thanks for being here… - He says, still eyes closed, with a hoarse deep voice.

-          No problem, puppy. – She smiles, gently rubbing his hand with her other hand.

He smiles, letting go of her hand. She gets up and goes to the guest room. The minute she walks through the door, she realizes she was right the last time she was there, when she thought his bedroom must’ve been much bigger than this one, since now it felt very small, compared to the one she just left. Even knowing that, back then she considered this one to be gigantic.

She wakes up with a gentle tap on her shoulder. It takes a moment before she finally can gather her strength to open her eyes and look up. She sees a very scruffed Harry, clearly hangover, sitting next to her, with a cup of coffee on his hand.

-          Hey angel. – He says, giving her a tired smile.

-          Hi – She attempts to say, even though barely any sound comes out.

-          Don’t worry about waking up, you can go back to sleep…I just wanted to let you know I’m leaving already, but I left breakfast for ya in the kitchen.

-          Ok – She says before realizing what he just said – Wait…what?

-          I have a plane to catch, so…

-          Oh, ok, gimme a second to… - She interrupts him, trying to get up. Harry pushes her back down.

-          Stay. Go back to sleep. It’s Sunday, just stay in.

-          Wh…it’s your house, Harry.

-          Don’t worry. I’ll leave ya the key, so you can lock up after you leave.

She looks up at him, frowning, trying to understand what’s happening.

-          You can stay here and rest, and when I come back we can meet up so you can give me the key back. Maybe you can pick me up at the airport – He says smiling.

-          I don’t…

-          That wasn’t a question. I was just letting ya know how it’s gonna be.

Lori doesn’t necessarily agrees with it, but she’s too tired to fight what seemed to be a very certain Harry. He’s made that decision and it was clear that it would take a lot of effort to convince him otherwise. An effort that Lori knew she didn’t have in herself at that moment.

-          I’ll leave the key at the coffee table downstairs, ok?

Lori nods.

-          Ok. I’ll see ya when I come back

She nods again, half asleep. Harry leans in, gives her a kiss on her forehead and leaves the room.

After waking up and taking a shower, Lori borrows one of Harry’s shirt, after texting him for permission, so she could go straight to work. Downstairs, as promised, she finds a full breakfast neatly placed on the center island counter in the kitchen. At the center of the counter, there was a vase of flowers with a note attached to it. She takes it to read. “’When the heart speaks, the mind finds it indecent to object – H.’ Thanks for being so great last night, angel. I know I was a fucking mess. I’m very happy to have you as a friend I know I can count on. Count on me for anything! Love, H.” She smiles at the note and folds it carefully. Holding it in her hand, looking at the flowers, Lori takes a deep breath. She did have a crush on him. A big one. And it didn’t even cross her mind that there was a chance of him feeling the same way. After all he said he was glad to have her as “a friend” in the note. She places the note in her back pocket and she bags everything to eat at work. She washes the dishes and cleans the kitchen before leaving and locking up as promised.  The next few weeks, their conversations weren’t as regular as it used to be, since Harry was busy working on his new album a lot and Lori was running around the UK to cover a bunch of events for BBC, which helped Lori with her crush. It was becoming a usual thing for him to disappear for short periods of time and when Grimmy shared his theory that this time around their mutual friend disappeared because he was seeing someone, Lori felt like she finally got over him. Maybe it was not hearing from him in two weeks, maybe it wasn’t a crush after all, but the idea of Harry with someone else didn’t bothered her. Or so she thought.

It was at a Vanity Fair event in Los Angeles that she saw Harry again, creeping up to her, with a huge smile across his face. He looked completely different since last time they saw each other. His hair was very short; he had a clean shave and was much leaner than she remembered. He was wearing a salmon shirt, few buttons open, revealing his cross necklace. A black suit was over it with a flower printed silk tissue on his pocket. He looked sharp. He wraps his arms around her in a tight grip, just as you’d expect great friends to do after a long time without seeing each other.

-          Hey angel! – he says, taking a step back after a long hug.

-          Hi Har! How are you, love?

-          I’m great. Especially now, I’m so happy to see ya. – He says, grabbing her hand and pressing it against his chest.

-          Me too. It feels like forever…

-          I know!!! We barely spoke in the last few months…

-          Yeah, what’s up with that?

-          I know. It’s my fault, innit? I’ve been really busy…

-          How’s the album coming up?

-          Pretty good, we’re almost done now. I can’t wait for you to hear it…there’s some really awesome songs, I’m really proud of it.

-          That’s great Harry…

She smiles, looking at him browsing the crowd around them, still holding her hand up against his chest.

-          What you’ve been up to? – He says turning his attention back at her.

-          Working like a maniac. I’m convinced that network is trying to kill me.

-          About that… - he says getting a bit closer to her, looking down at her hands.

-          Yeah?

He holds her hand between both of his, before raising his eyes up to hers.

-          I was wondering…if maybe you could take a few days off…

-          Hum?

-          And take some pictures for me.

-          Oh? Of what? – She asked, surprised.

-          Of me.

She stares at him without reaction for a couple of seconds.

-          What?

-          For my album. I’d like it if you could help me with the art…

-          Oh!!! Really???

-          Yeah, I mean…I love your personal work, it’s very organic and beautiful. I wanted to do something like that for the cover and the rest of the album.

-          Really Harry? – She says with a bit of an emotional tone to her voice.

-          Absolutely.

-          I’d be honored. What’d you have in mind? – She says trying to wipe her teary eyes without him noticing.

-          I’m not sure yet. I thought we could brainstorm some ideas, try some stuff out…that’s why I need ya for a few days. I want to create something cool with ya…

Lori smiles, trying her best not to tear up. Harry was an outstanding artist and for him to want to trust her with something as personal as his album made her very happy. And the fact that he seemed so excited about it made it even more special. She knew how important he was to her, but the other way around she could only take a wild guess; however, this meant something for him, she meant something to him. They stay the rest of the event together, talking about the past few months, catching up, even though it didn’t take 5 minutes for them to feel like they were never kept apart by their jobs. Before they leave, they make plans to meet up to talk about their upcoming new project together.

They were talking, drinking ice tea, at the sofa at Harry’s living room, when Lori hands him a bag from Gucci.

-          Oh, did you get me something? – He says putting the glass down to take the bag.

-          Yeah, I’m 100% sure you’ll like it.

-          Confident, eh? – He says reaching in to grab the content out.

He pulls out a pink shirt with white dots and looks at it before frowning a bit.

-          I think I have a similar one…

-          Yeah, you do. But it’s not similar, it’s exactly like that.

-          Ehm…ok, that’s a good method to make sure I’ll like it…

Lori laughs.

-          It’s yours. It’s the shirt I borrowed. Your key is also there.

-          Ahhh, ok. – He says peeking into the bag and putting the shirt back in. – Nice choice, by the way…

-          It’s pink with polka dots, how could I go wrong with that one?!

-          True.

-          It’s washed and ironed, already.

-          Ok, c’mon… - He says getting up, taking the bag with him – Come with me.

-          Okey-dokey.

They walk up to his bedroom and into his closet, where he grabs a hanger to put his shirt in. Harry turns around to find Lori jaw-dropped, frozen at the entrance of the walk-in closet.

-          Did you have a stroke? – he asks, laughing.

-          I think I died and went to heaven.

Harry laughs.

-          Look at your closet, my god!! Look at all your clothes…

-          I’m even afraid to touch anything…

Harry laughs.

-          Can I snoop?

-          Yeah, sure, go ahead. – He says putting the hanger back in the rack.

She goes through his shirts folded neatly on the shelves as Harry sits on the bench in the middle of the closet.

-          Uh, I like this one… - she says running her hand on a mustard jumper. – What’s this fabric? It’s so soft…

-          Dunno… - He says getting up and grabbing the jumper, to check the tag.

-          Wait…where are your suits? – She says looking around.

She looks around realizing there were no suits of formal wear on the racks around them. Harry gets up, goes to a slide door next to the shelves they were going through, and opens it. Lori walks toward and peeks in the “secret” room in his closet. All of his formal wear was there, everything from suits, formal shirts, shoes and slim drawers with his jewelry, watches and sunglasses.

-          Holy Gucci!

Harry laughs, refolding the jumper. Lori moans running her hand at all the suits neatly hanged at the rack, while Harry leans against the wall, folding his arms over the jumper. Lori takes out of the rack one of the suits. It was black, with a very thin dark red sparkly line all around the trim. The lining was a bright red flower print. She looks at Harry, who was smugly smiling at her, which leads to the wise decision they make to have a fashion show. Harry ends up trying on a bunch of his own suits and walking through the closet making faces and posing, while Lori pretends to be stylists at the audience. After he tried every suit he owned, they end up sitting on the floor of the closet, going through his jewelry. He tries one of Lori’s rings on his pinky.

-          Oh. Fits… - He says.

-          I’ve had that one for…15 years I think.

-          Shit. I was planning on stealing it…

-          Were you now? – She says, laughing – It’s ok, you can keep it.

-          What? No, I was joking.

-          Keep it. I like the idea of you prancing around with my ring.

-          I like that in your head I’m always prancing. – Says Harry laughing.

-          Yep. In my imagination you don’t even know how to walk. You’re either running or Jaggering.

-          Jaggering? – Says Harry through a laugh.

Lori get up mimicking Mick Jagger’s moves. Harry laughs.

-          That’s how I walk?

-          Yes. Or at least you should…it should be your runway walk.

-          I’ll remember that if I ever do a fashion show.

-          Like you would ever do that.

-          Of course I would. I’ll be getting a call from Victoria’s Secret any minute now…

Lori laughs.

-          Oh, I have something for ya. – he says getting up and running to his bedroom.

Lori gets up and follows him.

He grabs out of the drawer in his nightstand a tiny black notepad and gives it to her. She takes it, a bit confused, and opens it. There was a bunch of scribbles with Harry’s handwriting in it. At least 5 pages of it, with the occasional doodles around the edges of the pages.

-          Don’t mind the drawings, I tend to doodle when I’m bored…

-          Ok… - she says smiling and going through the notepad.

“Beware; for I am fearless, and therefore powerful”, “For myself I am too heavy, and for you too light”, “I wish photographs were physical spaces, like tunnels; that you could crawl inside them and go back”, “And remember this, that if you’ve been hated, you’ve also been loved”, “We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered”, “Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now”, “She had wild eyes, slightly insane. She also carried an overload of compassion that was real enough and which obviously cost her something”, “Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss”, “What do you say when the feelings don’t fit into words?”. That was just a few of the dozens of notes Harry had written on the notepad. Lori takes a deep breath before looking up at Harry.

-          I didn’t forget, I just didn’t have time to send them…so I just wrote it down every time I remember one or saw a quote I liked, so I could send it to ya later. But it took me so long to do so that I decided it was easier making this for ya.

-          This is so sweet.

-          I agree. My girlfriend was a bit jealous of it to be frank, but…

Lori feels a familiar punch in the stomach, as she looks up at Harry.

-          Your what? – She can’t help but ask him

-          Ah, yeah…well…I’ve been seeing someone…I’m not sure if I can call her girlfriend yet…but yeah…

-          Oh… - She says without hiding the disappointed tone in her voice.

-          What? – He says, noticing the tone.

-          N-nothing…I just…why didn’t you tell me? – She lied.

-          We didn’t talk that much…and to be honest I didn’t know if that was the kind of thing I could talk to ya about…

-          You can talk about anything with me, Harry.

-          Oh…yeah? – He says putting both hands in his pockets.

-          Yeah…of course… - She says pondering for a bit, looking down at the notepad.

-          That’s good to know…

-          I can understand why she’d be jealous tho…this is very personal…

-          Well you were my friend before we started going out, so…and one thing has nothing to do with the other…I can be personal with my friends.

Lori looks up at him again.

-          I mean…right?

-          Yeah, sure. So… - She says closing the notepad. She looks at it for a second before looking back at Harry – How is she like? What does she look like? Tell me everything.

Harry laughs.

-          Nah, I’m good...you’ll end up meeting her…if I think she’s worth it.

Lori smiles.

-          Not everyone deserves being introduced to my friends, you know.

-          You introduced me to Jeff… - She says without thinking, regretting immediately.

-          Yeah but we weren’t seeing each other…I introduced one friend to another…

-          Oh, right, ok. – She says quickly, glad he didn’t catch her faux pas.

The rest of the night, all through dinner, Lori felt a crushing pressure in her stomach, like she had eaten a pound of cement. She struggled to stay as normal as she could with Harry, but when he invited her to stay for a movie, she made up an excuse and left, going back to her hotel. Lying in bed, wrapped in the towel and hair still wet from the shower, she stared at the painting at the wall, above the bed, for a long time. She did not see this coming. She was certain she was over him, but the punch in her stomach finding out he was with someone, serious enough for him to call her girlfriend, told her otherwise. Not only she had a crush on him, she loved him. Realizing that made her eyes water and, as she takes a deep breath, they start to roll down the side of her face, surrounding her ears and finally finding the linen sheets under her. Harry was the best friend she’s had in so long, how could she let this happen? How could she allow herself to feel that way about him? Most importantly, how didn’t she realize that this was happening? She falls asleep with these questions burning in her head.

[crazygaze]

It's Just That Time of Year

Pairing: Hanamaki/Matsukawa, slight Iwaizumi/Oikawa 

Rating: T for titties they swear but that’s about it

Synopsis: Finally posting that hanamatsu meme drabble fic for my birthday, I’ve had this forever!! Big insp from HQ meme bot

"Wha-I don't want to hear this from assholes who bought a gingerbread house making kit only to eat the pieces and suck the frosting out of the bag it came with," Iwaizumi points accusingly. 

Matsukawa shrugs and Hanamaki raises his hands in surrender. "In my defense- it's hard to resist gingerbread, Christmas is the only time of year I get it." Iwaizumi looks to Matsukawa. 

"Frosting... is good." He says simply. 

Oikawa grumbles. "What good is it to have a gingerbread house making contest if the competitors eat the supplies." 

=

"I love you," Hanamaki sings flatly and strums a badly tuned acoustic guitar with complete gusto, "-bitch." He points meaningfully at Matsukawa.

"And I'm never gonna leave you," Hanamaki strums the guitar again loudly and sings slightly off-key, "-bitch."

Matsukawa watches him impassively from the drums and when Hanamaki goes for the creative musical solo, a music store worker comes up to them with an annoyed look and kindly asks them to leave.

= 

Iwaizumi scowls and pulls open the door. "Honestly, I don't even know why I-" he stops. 

Oikawa frowns. "Iwa-chan, why did you..." He trails off and peers over Iwaizumi's shoulder. 

The team sat in the dark meeting room in a circle with joined hands, the only light in the room was a cellphone placed in the middle. Probably because the fire hazard issue with candles. "If there is a spirit here," Hanamaki says with the utmost seriousness. "Please knock Oikawa out." Kindaichi gives Iwaizumi a desperate look from where he kneels, clutching Kunimi and Watari. Yahaba glances at Oikawa nervously. 

"He's the pretty one." Matsukawa adds helpfully. Hanamaki glares at Matsukawa. 

"Now the spirit is going to think I'm Oikawa and knock me out, I'm the pretty one," he hisses. 

"Oi-" Iwaizumi interrupts the seance finally. "Everyone get to bed! I don't know what stupid shit those two started but it's going to be lights out and everyone in bed in two minutes." 

When there's a silence in response he crosses his arms. "Is that understood?" There's a chorus of uneasy affirming and sweaty hands letting each other go. Just as Matsukawa opens his mouth to say something, Kunimi slumps over on his side, bumping Kindaichi's leg. Kindaichi goes as pale as a sheet of paper. "He's unconscious." He says in a trembly voice. Hanamaki looks offended and puts a hand to his chest. 

"What the fu-hey, I'm supposed to be the pretty one," he argues into the air. Matsukawa pats his thigh consolingly. There's multiple alarming shouts and clamoring and Iwaizumi drags a hand down his face. Kunimi sleeps on, undisturbed. 

= 

 "I don't know why you're crushing on him," Oikawa sniffs. "Look at Iwa-chan, at least he has redeeming qualities." They both look over to where an Iwaizumi is talking to Yahaba, sleeves rolled up and blissfully unaware of all the ogling he's receiving. "He could sneeze on a pickle jar and the lid would pop right off!" 

"First of all, that's disgusting. Secondly, Hanamaki can open pickle jars just fine and didn't Iwaizumi threaten to smash a jar over your head once because you were groping his arms?" Matsukawa lists off and raises a thick but well kept brow. "Also what do you mean crushing on him, he's my boyfriend." 

He waves. "Semantics. By the way, where the hell is Hanamaki?" Oikawa asks, looking around with a squint. Hanamaki is nowhere to be seen. Matsukawa sighed deeply and put a hand over his heart and stared off to the distance forlornly. 

"Hey what the hell is he looking at?" Iwaizumi walks over and nods at Matsukawa, staring at the gym wall or a possibly unamused and equally uncomfortable Kunimi. 

"He's being stupid-" 

"Hanamaki is in detention." 

"What," Iwaizumi said in disbelief. “Why?”   

"Wrote 'sickass motherfucker' on an English essay we were supposed to do. Printed it out and turned it in." 

Oikawa and Iwaizumi look at each other. "I miss you, babe," Matsukawa sighs again and pulls out his phone to snapchat a very close picture of his expressionless double-chinned face and a large caption of 'Send Nudes' to Hanamaki. 

"And they say romance is dead." Oikawa sniffs.

 = 

In an empty classroom in the morning before class, there's Oikawa screaming, running around desks trying to avoid a pencil wielding Iwaizumi. "It's not my fault you don't know acronyms!" Oikawa screeches, darting around desks. He's got the disadvantage of being on the opposite side of the classroom door. 

"You could have told me like a normal human being but no, you waited till there was a teacher behind me?!" Iwaizumi roared, cheeks blazing red. 

"'TBH' isn't hard to figure out, Iwa-chan!" He yells and throws a poorly crumpled paper ball at Iwaizumi. It doesn't deter the other in any way and bounces off his shoulder harmlessly. 

Off to the side, Hanamaki clutches his sides and gasps for air. "T-The Butt Hole," he wheezes and slaps his desk, "He tho-thought! TBH was-!" Hanamaki cackles.  

Matsukawa is softly chanting "Stab him, stab him, stab him," and it rises louder and louder every time Iwaizumi lunges for Oikawa with a mechanical pencil. 

 = 

Hanamaki groans and throws his pencil across the room and it sails over Iwaizumi's shoulder and hits the wall he's leaning on. Iwaizumi doesn't even blink or snap like he usually would, the air that passes through his lips is less of a sigh and more like an exhalation of his soul. His biology textbook has been open on the same page for the past half hour. 

Oikawa is passed out face down on a backpack with a timer counting down for a 15 minute nap. Matsukawa jerks awake at the thump of the pencil hitting the wall and the pink highlighter he was holding to a textbook skitters off the page. Not that it did much considering how much was already highlighted. "Fuck, I hate finals," Matsukawa whines for the nth time. 

"I'm not meant for education," Hanamaki says empathetically. He glances at the clock and 3:17 AM glares at him in red. They're quiet aside from Oikawa's soft muffled snoring. 

"Guys," Iwaizumi says in an uncharacteristically small voice. They perk up from where they lay on the worksheet strewn bed and look over. 

"Will you guys still love me when I no longer ball so fucking hard?" Iwaizumi looks up at them with red-bull-induced despair and wide, adorably sleep deprived teary eyes that shouldn't belong so well on a muscular heartthrob of a volleyball team who literally challenged the basketball captain to a thumb-wrestling contest with the morning gym schedule on the line. 

"I coulda swore I would be the one in the emotional crisis this time around," Hanamaki mutters softly as Matsukawa clamors down from the bed to Iwaizumi. Sheets of papers fall but he heeds them no mind. 

"Of course we'll love you. Don't worry, you'll always ball hard," Matsukawa shoves a pencil in between the biology textbook as a place marker and shoves it off Iwaizumi's lap with a loud thud. Oikawa doesn't stir. He clumsily sits in its place. Matsukawa is already tall as it is and it's a slightly awkward crouch but he pulls Iwaizumi's sniffling face to his chest and clutches him close. "You'll always ball so hard, Iwaizumi. So fucking hard." 

Iwaizumi just trembles and Matsukawa can't tell if it's the fourth can of red-bull kicking in or it's emotions but he affectionately pats down the spiky brown hair. His arms wind around and hug Matsukawa. Hanamaki isn't even phased, "Yeah," he adds helpfully. He rifles through his backpack and pulls out a packet of wasabi peas he forgot to have for lunch. He tosses them down next to them. "We love you. Oikawa too," he adds as an afterthought. 

Oikawa's phone alarm rings and Oikawa mutes it without looking at it and peels himself off the backpack. There's pink indents on his face and he takes a long moment before squinting his eyes open and looking at where Matsukawa has now taken to feeding Iwaizumi wasabi peas in his lap with whispering reassurances. 

"Seriously?" He asks, voice rough but toneless with borderline-grade-at-stake-studying-exhaustion. He’s been riding on 10 hours of sleep for the past three days  

"Don't even," Hanamaki threatens mildly with a protractor. "We literally madeout with you last time this happened because you were convinced we all secretly hated you" 

"...That's fair." Oikawa mutters tiredly, throwing an arm over his eyes.

=

“Send nudes” Matsukawa says rather loudly and sudden in the silence of a perfectly good lunch. 

Hanamaki gets up and leaves.

Minutes later, Matsukawa’s phone pings, he checks it. “Nice,” he says with emphasis. 

[shorthaircutsmodels]

Charlize Theron's Short Hairstyles and Haircuts - 20+ - https://shorthaircutsmodels.com/charlize-theron-short-hairstyles-and-haircuts/ - Charlize Theron's Short Hairstyles and Haircuts, This year's two coolest cuts are struggling. Pixie cut has seduced multiple celebrities, as we've seen with Katy Perry, Emilia Clarke and Scarlett Johansson. And classic bob is similarly glamorous, drawing fans like Irina Shayk because it's an elegant cut that can be worn in a variety of ways. If you're thinking about doing a hair makeover and can't decide. Charlize Theron's Short Hairstyles and Haircuts Charlize Theron's Short Hairstyles and Haircuts, there's one celebrity that can inspire you: Charlize Theron. For just a few months the South African actress showed off her dark bob, then a dark fairy before going back to blonde-and she proved all three look great. Charlize Theron's Short Hairstyles Charlize Theron's Short Hairstyles and Haircuts, With her blonde locks closely cropped on her head, the glamorous actress flashed brilliantly at her natural beauty. The blonde beauty, who buzzed her hair for a role in mad Max, shows word that the growing-out short hair era doesn't have to be awkward. Theron has since grown out of her short hair, seemingly effortlessly. Charlize Theron's Short Haircuts Charlize Theron's Short Hairstyles and Haircuts, and look more elegant than ever. It represents that a short hairstyle can look extremely feminine. The secret is to keep the edges soft and well tailored and finish the look with strong hair colour. As seen in images of Theron's short fairy haircut; no less, simplicity is the key to shining bright like a diamond. Charlize Theron's Short Hair Charlize Theron's Short Hairstyles and Haircuts, Let's take a look at the short haircut journey, including the blonde Fairy at the Oscars and her growing process. Here are 15 Charlize Theron Pixie cuts. For example, an asymmetrical side parting and curled back fringe create a trendy mini-quiff. Charlize Theron's Hairstyles Charlize Theron's Short Hairstyles and Haircuts, just debuted a hard and damn sexy hair change. The actor, with the help of hairdresser Adir Abergel and colourist Shannon Gallacher, ditched her brunette lob for the incredibly sexy bowl cut three words we never thought could coexist in a sentence. Charlize Theron's Haircuts The actor shared a photo of his new daring style on Instagram, with the caption referencing both his return to short hair and the new Fast & Furious 9 movie in which he cut his hair in 2021.It's the Academy Awards and it's shooting right now. The first step in achieving the new hairstyle was actually changing its color from dark brown to ashy blonde, which Gallagher did in just one day. Charlize Theron's Hair We used the Virtue Labs Colorkick and The Virtue Labs Restorative Treatment Mask each step, ABERGEL told POPSUGAR . After the discoloration was complete, Abergel slammed his lobe into the upper parts of his ears and placed the ends in a cut Bowl. Charlize Theron new haircut He also cut the hair on the back of Theron's head, thus forming a very slight "V". "This keeps the overall outlook softer," Abergel says. Charlize Theron is no stranger to dramatic transformations in hair. Cipher has apparently abandoned fears for a very delicate bowl cut, looking like a ruler and using level to get straight. Charlize Theron bob haircut 2020 - 2021 Theron's hair also features sharp blonde highlights cut from the brunette bottom. To complete the cut from the bottom, abergel enlisted the help of friend and British hairstylist Jonny Eagland. We shouldn't be surprised by what Abergel says. "Charlize was incredible and fearless and the way she approached her whole life," he explained. Charlize Theron short hair 2020 - 2021 Beauty comes and it takes time to express that, you can see the roles of Monster Tully and someone who is really fearless and also really confident in him in the team ."In early 2020-2021, the actress switched from her signature blonde to dramatically dark hair and slowly began to play at length. Charlize wasn't afraid to play with the all-round look, making the most of it with rocking bangs, chic and flattened, trying out a wet look and even waves. Charlize Theron natural hair color It's impossible to name a hairstyle that Charlize Theron tried. Throughout 2020-2021, the actress had hits after her hairstyle, from the classic dark chocolate brown blunt bob she debuted at the Oscars to the surprisingly cool bowl cut she received this summer, which completely changed the reputation of the crop. And now, Theron has changed things again with another short style. Charlize Theron pixie cut If I had told you that he had removed his natural hair to transplant the Astroturf into its place, you wouldn't have needed to see the pictures in your heart to know that you could pull it off like the eternal stunner. We all age and beauty Theron Oscar Abergel and two will go in the direction of wait to. Charlize Theron atomic blonde hair See what 2020 is bold, as Abergel styles and lengths and Theron took last year, maybe we are looking forward to 2020 - 2021 Golden Globe, the last in the month of January, 2020 Bafta in London for the last 14 months, last week, Charlize Oscar buzz as we have shared all the details behind Style Adult result, there is a lot of the art style. This look is her hair after about three months of growth. Hairstylist Enzo Angileri says the cut is very short all over the head, but slightly longer on the top to give additional volume. Charlize Theron short curly hair The hair and dress choices of Hollywood stars are almost as under scrutiny as movies when it comes to awards season, but one actress who isn't afraid to try has swapped red carpet hairstyles over the years, from chic up dos and Ebony plants to romantic chignons and tumbling blonde curls. See hair history. Charlize Theron long hair The shorter side is cut around the ear, but leaves enough hair to create a neat spot that highlights the eyes beautifully. The longer side is scanned along the head, creating extra volume and showing dark roots for this base-stretched surface. A perfect short haircut for this summer. If you're going to cut your hair short this summer, why not try this sexy fairy cut? This short blonde fairy cut is great not only for young ladies. Charlize Theron hair 2020 - 2021 But also for mature ladies. Start (or continuing the plot line is still an analogy with the exhibition), The Golden Globes was the period 2020-2021, who have worked together since 2008 and two award Abergel Theron Theron different hair style and hair color, such as a season bomb, multiple representations, and movies and by a long shot for this event. Charlize Theron curly hair Including a long series collected in more than a dozen. "I think it was nice to have an immediate confidence in our relationship and it was this incredible collaborator and inspiration that she told me because she herself is an amazing artist," I'm ready to take those risks to see where you want to go. Charlize Theron black hair The paint job seems risky to be a haircut or hyperbolic when invoking the grand scheme of things, a Hollywood actor, for whom image reveals the right aesthetic with everything, especially awards season, all eyes incredibly important. Often, these aesthetic errors remain on the safe side and constant, so you don't see many nominees go wild with their beauty and fashion choices during awards season. Charlize Theron pixie haircut For Theron, however, in 2020-2021, it seemed she had decided to throw attention to the wind and have some fun 2020 - 2021 has been the year of the hair experiment for Charlize Theron. Actress, 91. She wowed everyone when she dominated the Academy Awards with her a-line brunette bob. Before that, Theron hadn't been a brunette for seven years. Charlize Theron haircu 2020 - 2021 In other words, this brunette bob was a big deal. Adir Abergel, celebrity stylist and Creative Director of Haircare line Virtue Labs, said the big chops and largely dark paint job was an impulsive decision just before the big moment. Charlize Theron's famously short haircut for the summer: here's an update on the popular. Charlize Theron hair color Pixie-cut that always appeared on the red carpet, as it's a flattering look for many different face shapes. This sexy short pixie haircut has fashion twists to keep it contemporary. Talented, good-looking and adored by the camera, Charlize Theron is a celebrity who can wear almost any hairstyle and always instantly looks beautiful. Charlize Theron dark hair With her perfectly oval face, petite features and subtle strands, Charlize's hairstyles range from a short fairy cut to a straight mid-length bob and always classic wave hairstyle. View yourself with Charlize Theron hairstyles. We also provide" easy on how to style by reporting tips on which hair can match face shape, hair texture and hair density. Charlize Theron aeon flux haircut When Charlize Theron cut her hair into a cut Bowl earlier this year, the internet went wild. Minutes after her hairdresser, Adir Abergel, shared the photo on Instagram. People began double-tapping and re-sharing it, and US beauty. Journalists began writing angrily about her brand new style. Then, over the next four months. Charlize Theron 2020 - 2021 hair Theron and Abergel hung on to every added highlight and cutting cut, following the difficult process of growing the cut in question. But here's one thing: Theron's bold hair changes began long before that bowl cut. Charlize Theron red hair The Academy Award-winning star has undergone stunning beauty changes for both. Film roles, such as her upcoming portrayal of Megyn Kelly in. Bombshell, and red carpet appearances, such as her micro baby boom. Now, Theron has launched a new super-short hairstyle, a throwback to supermodel Linda Evangelista. Charlize Theron brown hair Theron shared an image of her hair on instagram. O Baaaaack wrote #Fast9, a reference to the character cipher in the fast and Furious films. Because it's so easy to wear, Charlize and I call it 'freedom,' Angiler told Harper's Bazaar magazine. Another star of the cut is Charlize's newly painted locks. Charlize Theron blonde hair While you don't need to be blonde for the cut to work, a vibrant colour accentuates the face. Charlize Theron, whose super-short haircut was introduced at the. 2021 Academy Awards, is one of the most iconic fairies of our time. With her blonde locks cropped close to her head, the actress flashed her natural beauty brightly.

[batsort93-blog]

Kate Hudson’s workout routine is all the inspo you need this year

© Trae Patton/NBC - Getty Images Kate Hudson, actress, mom of three, co-founder of the activewear brand Fabletics, and current Weight Watchers ambassador, is total #fitnessgoals. Kate Hudson’s trainer breaks down her go-to Pilates moves. Learn more about the rest of Kate Hudson's workout and fitness routine, too. Kate Hudson, actress, mom of three, co-founder of the activewear brand Fabletics, and current Weight Watchers ambassador, is total #fitnessgoals. (Like, seriously, have you seen her abs pics?) Luckily for her fans, Kate is super-open about her fitness routine and healthy habits.

And she’s never been afraid to share her successes and struggles. Just recently, the 39-year-old posted a long message on her IG about balancing being a mom to her new daughter, Rani Rose, working, and keeping up all her fab fitspo.

“The routine with our baby is getting more familiar and I’m ready to start taking a little time in the day focusing on myself. For me that means my health. Why? Because I wanna be around a long time for these three kiddos of mine,” she captioned her sports bra selfie. Amen to that!

Kate also opened up recently about her goal to lose 25 pounds with Weight Watchers in the new year.

So what exactly does Kate do on the reg to get (and stay) so fit?

1. She has a love affair with Pilates.

She hasn't mentioned it as much post-pregnancy (her daughter was just born October 2), but Kate's IG mentions lots and lots of Pilates. She’s shared exercises on the reformer multiple times, declaring the core-centric workout as her number-one. (Scroll down for a list of Kate's fave Pilates moves, courtesy of her trainer.)

“Pilates makes my day better and that’s just the straight truth! Every time I finish a class I feel two inches taller, lighter, and more grounded,” she captioned one video.

2. Kate turns to her trainer.

Kate gives Instagram shout outs to her trainer, Nicole Stuart, all. the. time. She’s revealed lots of tips from the fitness pro, including a five-minute workout and a bunch of Pilates exercises.

3. She's a dancing queen.

Girl's got moves and she’s not afraid to show ‘em. You’ll find Kate casually dancing around her apartment or at parties. "I think cardio is really important, not necessarily running a long distance, but doing something that will get your heart rate up which is why we love dance," her trainer Stuart says.

Kate has also teamed up with dance trainer and founder of the NW Method, Nicole Winhoffer, according to her posts. Just check out those body rolls and booty shakes and you realize her top-notch rhythm and stamina.

“She's one of my favorites because her spirit is so free and she's so fun," Winhoffer told Popsugar about Kate.

4. Kate's a fan of cycling.

In addition to striking a Pilates pose, Kate has also been caught spinning-particularly on her at-home Peloton bike.“I spin sometimes but, for me, Peloton is the best no-excuse workout-especially if I only have 20 minutes to spare," she told Women's Health UK. "And I love riding my bike-to me, that’s not a workout.

On Thanksgiving, she posted about cycling on her Instagram story, and said she's super grateful for the cardio workout, per People.

5. Sometimes she cranks out circuit workouts.

Besides busting a move and biking as a source of cardio, “sometimes I do circuit training," Kate told Women's Health UK.

"There’s a place in LA called Circuit Works, which my brother goes to a lot and that’s hard core, like Barry’s Bootcamp. There’ll be fast sprints, heavy weights, and multiple push ups or pull ups. I like doing that stuff too. When you know you feel good when you sweat, you always want to go back to it.”

6. She takes her workouts outside.

It's no mystery that Kate is a big fan of the great outdoors (just check out her totally swoon-worthy photos on Instagram for proof).

And she brings that into her fitness routine, too. “There are times when I’m so busy with work that I don’t have time for a proper exercise session. But I’ll go for a hike instead," Kate told Women's Health UK.

In fact, her very first date with boyfriend Danny Fujikawa took place on the trail. “A year ago today Danny took me on a hike and what I thought was just a hike with a family friend turned very quickly into an unexpected first date,” Kate wrote in an Instagram caption. Awww!

7. Kate keeps fitness fun.

Rather than view fitness as a chore, Kate has said time and time again that she genuinely loves breaking a sweat. And she finds all kinds of fun ways to stay active.

Just take this hilarious routine Kate and Stuart created together using an extra creative exercise tool: wine bottles. Now that's a workout I can really get behind.

Kate also loves testing new workouts: "You name it-we always try new things," Stuart says of her longtime client.

Recently, Kate mentioned on Instagram stories that she's trying out the Mirror, an in-home device that streams workouts, per People. “Never done it. Don’t know anything about it. About to try it,” she said. Because there’s no better way to keep seeing results than switching up your routine.

Cheers (with wine bottle weights!) to the hard work, Kate.

The Roll Down On The Cadillac

"You can use this as an opening exercise," Stuart says. "This is really good for people with a stiff spine, but also if you're just stiff in general."

Try it at home: "Lie flat on your back and roll up the same way: slowly one vertebra at a time, stretching forward and working from your stomach, not using your arms to throw your body up, then rolling back down the same way, slowly with control."

The Advanced Frog

The Advanced Frog, Stuart shares, "entirely works your stomach, trunk, and glutes."

Try it at home: "I wouldn't try this at home unless you're super advanced," Stuart warns, "But if you are, you can replicate this by going into the same position and do exactly what Kate's doing [in the Instagram above] with your hands placed behind the small of your back to offer you support."

Hanging Pullups

"Right before this [video] Kate did pullups, which work your arms and back and then the reward is hanging," Stuart says. "She's hanging here at the end of the session."

How to at home: "You can do a backbend over a big ball at home after doing [traditional] pushups on the floor."

Decompress

This video depicts Kate effortlessly hanging off the front of a Gratz machine (a Pilates apparatus). "It's good for decompression in the spine and hips and circulation and blood flow."

How to at home: "You can recreate this same move on a big round ball."

Source: http://www.msn.com/en-us/health/fitness/kate-hudson’s-workout-routine-is-all-the-inspo-you-need-this-year/ar-BBROFlN?srcref=rss

[douglassmiith]

What Local Business Owners Are Doing to Recover From the Covid-19 Tsunami

June 19, 2020 8 min read

Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, 21 million people are currently unemployed. To put this in perspective, the Great Recession in the early-2000s saw its height of unemployment in 2010 at 14.8 million. The COVID pandemic has not only left this number in the shadows, but the speed at which it occurred is also like no other in our history. The result? Employees and contractors were quickly displaced and left scratching their heads saying, “What just happened?” Businesses scrambled to communicate with employees, clients, and vendors. Leadership teams worked tirelessly to adhere to remote requirements, struggled to put technologies in place, and quickly built new processes to maintain revenue that would keep the doors open and employees on staff. It has left a trail of exhaustion. But, in the wreck of it all, the small business – the entrepreneur – quickly and without warning, may have felt like they were thrown out of a 20 story window, watching their life pass before them, all to hit the safety net which was faulty, at best.

I ask you…look around. Our communities are not the same. Aside from the fear of the unknown and a total mental shift, practically overnight, doors have shut – permanently. Many of our favorite retail shops have sunk and countless places we frequented for lunch have not survived. A true sadness is in it all, as it’s the entrepreneurial spirit that makes our great country thrive. It makes us unique. These hopeful spirits create our fidgets and gadgets, they give us a place to congregate that isn’t built from the cookie cutter and their creativity advances our nation in amazing ways – it’s the American Dream. But we are a bit battered and broken and we’ve lost a bit of our shine.

Related: The Supreme Court’s Ruling on LGBTQ+ Workplace Protections Could Help Revitalize the Entire Economy

The reality is that eventually we will get back to our routine. We will mingle with each other again. And we will go back to work. But we will never forget what 2020 has burned into our brains and the rubble that was left in its wake. Many dreams have been lost or are still dangling in the balance. I know, nobody wants to talk about COVID anymore. Enough is enough, right? Wrong. Just like in any business situation, you can’t have blinders on. You can only mitigate future situations if you take the time to learn from what happened, face the impact, understand what was lacking, and cling to the seed of hope – planting it if there is a next time.

I talked with Samantha Moore, an entrepreneur and small business owner of an adorable boutique gift shop, Simple to Sublime, in Summerville, SC. She has handpicked the products she sells, works behind her own counter, and puts great effort into the feel you get as you walk in the door. She has, like many, the kind of business we want to have on our corners. It’s unique. It’s charming. It’s not cut and paste. Here’s a conversation I had with her. She was open about the challenges she has endured, what the new normal means and her advice for small business owners. Take heed, as the more we understand, empathize, and support these local businesses, the more we will be able to look this beast in the face and say, never again.

Have you faced challenges before, prior to COVID-19, that made you question your decision to be a small business owner?

Of course! There are many instances that have caused me to pause and ask the question, “Why am I doing this?” Sometimes it was a lack of cash flow, difficulty hiring the right people, economic downturns, rent increases or even local or national politics. But I always took a step back, assessed what was going on, and readjusted the plan. For me, throwing in the towel was never an option. You must be resilient, a bit stubborn, and have a large measure of creativity in solving problems to ride the waves.

How has COVID-19 impacted your business?

In my head, I have this image of coronavirus as a huge tsunami wiping out a small town. That’s how crushing it feels to my small business. Events happened so quickly, that I literally couldn’t communicate plans to my team before they would change. The economic impact on my business has been catastrophic. As the store was forced to close, the only opportunity for sales was through social media and a new online store that had to be created. Everything was in warp speed and for a business with limited resources, it is an understatement to say that things were difficult.

As businesses start to reopen around the country, what do you see as an ongoing challenge for small business owners?

Customers are likely going to be nervous about coming back inside stores. I also believe that customers, in quarantine, have really been pushed towards online retailers and big-box stores, as they were the only ones that were open. I am hopeful but know that it may be an uphill battle to get them back into the independent brick-and-mortar stores. Couple this with the crushing unemployment statistics and we are going to have to fight, hard, to get consumers to spend their money on discretionary items.

Related: 5 Lessons That Will Stay With Me After the Quarantine

How have you had to get creative in your marketing?

Prior to COVID, we did not have an online store. Now we do. We had never done social selling. Now we do Facebook Live as a part of our regular routine. We’ve also added free local delivery and we work hard to stay connected to our loyal customers through virtual events. Everything is different. In the end, if we can pull through, this trial-by-fire will make us stronger.

What would you like policymakers to do to help the small business owner right now?

I received the Economic Injury Disaster Loan. But, as we all know, loans are a bandage that can soothe today but create more financial difficulty down-the-road. I also received funds from the Payroll Protection Program, but the economic impacts will last far longer than the eight weeks of payroll that we received. Then what?  We need long term help and legislation that will ensure that future funds go to the businesses that they were designed to help.

And, going forward, we need policymakers to solve the unrest in our country and work across party lines to restore consumer confidence. Then, and only then, will we build a foundation that is on solid ground.

What is your advice to other small business owners?

Rest when you need to rest and fight when you need to fight. We need to remember to stay connected with our customers, stay educated on our industry, reach out to our peers, make webinars part of our daily work calendar, think creatively, and work harder than we have ever worked before. My biggest suggestion would be to not look at today for the pot of gold. Do the hard work and make consistent changes now. This will catapult us when the world gets back to our “new normal.” The real gain will be in the long term.

Related: 5 Steps to Protect Your Career As We Turn Toward Recovery

Quick tips and ideas for small business owners

I asked some marketing agency pros, and here are three tips for small business owners in the midst of the COVID crisis:

1. Run a social media contest. Tom De Spiegelaere is a Senior Digital Marketer and the founder of Tom Spicky. He suggests running a “Caption This” contest as a simple attention-getter campaign. By uploading a funny photo from your store on social and requesting their participation, it will engage consumers, incorporate humor, become highly shareable, and will help to increase brand awareness.

2. Create D.I.Y. projects from items that you sell – share through your social platforms. James Jason, Assistant marketing agency Manager for Mitrade, knows that you need to find customers where they are (which may be at home). Get creative by coming up with tiny projects that customers can use – paired with what you sell. For example, show them a shirt and couple it with a simple how-to for a matching face mask.

3. Show you care and understand your customer’s concerns. John Butterworth, In-House marketing agency Manager at Virtual Internships, knows that you must embrace COVID-19 and that in order to find success for a brick-and-mortar location you must make your customers feel safe. Use tools, such as Calendly, to provide private appointments in-store.

Meet financial and emotional stress with action

The pandemic has created a disaster of epic proportions for many in our country. Some effects are yet to be seen. But we know one thing for sure. Small businesses and entrepreneurs in every state are fighting to regain what they lost, rebuild what has been destroyed, and welcome their beloved customers back, with open arms. As Samantha told me, “Now is the time to meet stress with action and to not let perfection stand in the way of progress.” When all is said and done, it may not look the same. It may not feel the same, but we are resilient, and we will regain our shine.

loading…

Website Design & SEO Delray Beach by DBL07.co

Delray Beach SEO

Via http://www.scpie.org/what-local-business-owners-are-doing-to-recover-from-the-covid-19-tsunami/

source https://scpie.weebly.com/blog/what-local-business-owners-are-doing-to-recover-from-the-covid-19-tsunami

[laurelkrugerr]

What Local Business Owners Are Doing to Recover From the Covid-19 Tsunami

June 19, 2020 8 min read

Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, 21 million people are currently unemployed. To put this in perspective, the Great Recession in the early-2000s saw its height of unemployment in 2010 at 14.8 million. The COVID pandemic has not only left this number in the shadows, but the speed at which it occurred is also like no other in our history. The result? Employees and contractors were quickly displaced and left scratching their heads saying, “What just happened?” Businesses scrambled to communicate with employees, clients, and vendors. Leadership teams worked tirelessly to adhere to remote requirements, struggled to put technologies in place, and quickly built new processes to maintain revenue that would keep the doors open and employees on staff. It has left a trail of exhaustion. But, in the wreck of it all, the small business – the entrepreneur – quickly and without warning, may have felt like they were thrown out of a 20 story window, watching their life pass before them, all to hit the safety net which was faulty, at best.

I ask you…look around. Our communities are not the same. Aside from the fear of the unknown and a total mental shift, practically overnight, doors have shut – permanently. Many of our favorite retail shops have sunk and countless places we frequented for lunch have not survived. A true sadness is in it all, as it’s the entrepreneurial spirit that makes our great country thrive. It makes us unique. These hopeful spirits create our fidgets and gadgets, they give us a place to congregate that isn’t built from the cookie cutter and their creativity advances our nation in amazing ways – it’s the American Dream. But we are a bit battered and broken and we’ve lost a bit of our shine.

Related: The Supreme Court’s Ruling on LGBTQ+ Workplace Protections Could Help Revitalize the Entire Economy

The reality is that eventually we will get back to our routine. We will mingle with each other again. And we will go back to work. But we will never forget what 2020 has burned into our brains and the rubble that was left in its wake. Many dreams have been lost or are still dangling in the balance. I know, nobody wants to talk about COVID anymore. Enough is enough, right? Wrong. Just like in any business situation, you can’t have blinders on. You can only mitigate future situations if you take the time to learn from what happened, face the impact, understand what was lacking, and cling to the seed of hope – planting it if there is a next time.

I talked with Samantha Moore, an entrepreneur and small business owner of an adorable boutique gift shop, Simple to Sublime, in Summerville, SC. She has handpicked the products she sells, works behind her own counter, and puts great effort into the feel you get as you walk in the door. She has, like many, the kind of business we want to have on our corners. It’s unique. It’s charming. It’s not cut and paste. Here’s a conversation I had with her. She was open about the challenges she has endured, what the new normal means and her advice for small business owners. Take heed, as the more we understand, empathize, and support these local businesses, the more we will be able to look this beast in the face and say, never again.

Have you faced challenges before, prior to COVID-19, that made you question your decision to be a small business owner?

Of course! There are many instances that have caused me to pause and ask the question, “Why am I doing this?” Sometimes it was a lack of cash flow, difficulty hiring the right people, economic downturns, rent increases or even local or national politics. But I always took a step back, assessed what was going on, and readjusted the plan. For me, throwing in the towel was never an option. You must be resilient, a bit stubborn, and have a large measure of creativity in solving problems to ride the waves.

How has COVID-19 impacted your business?

In my head, I have this image of coronavirus as a huge tsunami wiping out a small town. That’s how crushing it feels to my small business. Events happened so quickly, that I literally couldn’t communicate plans to my team before they would change. The economic impact on my business has been catastrophic. As the store was forced to close, the only opportunity for sales was through social media and a new online store that had to be created. Everything was in warp speed and for a business with limited resources, it is an understatement to say that things were difficult.

As businesses start to reopen around the country, what do you see as an ongoing challenge for small business owners?

Customers are likely going to be nervous about coming back inside stores. I also believe that customers, in quarantine, have really been pushed towards online retailers and big-box stores, as they were the only ones that were open. I am hopeful but know that it may be an uphill battle to get them back into the independent brick-and-mortar stores. Couple this with the crushing unemployment statistics and we are going to have to fight, hard, to get consumers to spend their money on discretionary items.

Related: 5 Lessons That Will Stay With Me After the Quarantine

How have you had to get creative in your marketing?

Prior to COVID, we did not have an online store. Now we do. We had never done social selling. Now we do Facebook Live as a part of our regular routine. We’ve also added free local delivery and we work hard to stay connected to our loyal customers through virtual events. Everything is different. In the end, if we can pull through, this trial-by-fire will make us stronger.

What would you like policymakers to do to help the small business owner right now?

I received the Economic Injury Disaster Loan. But, as we all know, loans are a bandage that can soothe today but create more financial difficulty down-the-road. I also received funds from the Payroll Protection Program, but the economic impacts will last far longer than the eight weeks of payroll that we received. Then what?  We need long term help and legislation that will ensure that future funds go to the businesses that they were designed to help.

And, going forward, we need policymakers to solve the unrest in our country and work across party lines to restore consumer confidence. Then, and only then, will we build a foundation that is on solid ground.

What is your advice to other small business owners?

Rest when you need to rest and fight when you need to fight. We need to remember to stay connected with our customers, stay educated on our industry, reach out to our peers, make webinars part of our daily work calendar, think creatively, and work harder than we have ever worked before. My biggest suggestion would be to not look at today for the pot of gold. Do the hard work and make consistent changes now. This will catapult us when the world gets back to our “new normal.” The real gain will be in the long term.

Related: 5 Steps to Protect Your Career As We Turn Toward Recovery

Quick tips and ideas for small business owners

I asked some marketing agency pros, and here are three tips for small business owners in the midst of the COVID crisis:

1. Run a social media contest. Tom De Spiegelaere is a Senior Digital Marketer and the founder of Tom Spicky. He suggests running a “Caption This” contest as a simple attention-getter campaign. By uploading a funny photo from your store on social and requesting their participation, it will engage consumers, incorporate humor, become highly shareable, and will help to increase brand awareness.

2. Create D.I.Y. projects from items that you sell – share through your social platforms. James Jason, Assistant marketing agency Manager for Mitrade, knows that you need to find customers where they are (which may be at home). Get creative by coming up with tiny projects that customers can use – paired with what you sell. For example, show them a shirt and couple it with a simple how-to for a matching face mask.

3. Show you care and understand your customer’s concerns. John Butterworth, In-House marketing agency Manager at Virtual Internships, knows that you must embrace COVID-19 and that in order to find success for a brick-and-mortar location you must make your customers feel safe. Use tools, such as Calendly, to provide private appointments in-store.

Meet financial and emotional stress with action

The pandemic has created a disaster of epic proportions for many in our country. Some effects are yet to be seen. But we know one thing for sure. Small businesses and entrepreneurs in every state are fighting to regain what they lost, rebuild what has been destroyed, and welcome their beloved customers back, with open arms. As Samantha told me, “Now is the time to meet stress with action and to not let perfection stand in the way of progress.” When all is said and done, it may not look the same. It may not feel the same, but we are resilient, and we will regain our shine.

loading…

Website Design & SEO Delray Beach by DBL07.co

Delray Beach SEO

source http://www.scpie.org/what-local-business-owners-are-doing-to-recover-from-the-covid-19-tsunami/ source https://scpie1.blogspot.com/2020/06/what-local-business-owners-are-doing-to.html

[riichardwilson]

What Local Business Owners Are Doing to Recover From the Covid-19 Tsunami

June 19, 2020 8 min read

Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, 21 million people are currently unemployed. To put this in perspective, the Great Recession in the early-2000s saw its height of unemployment in 2010 at 14.8 million. The COVID pandemic has not only left this number in the shadows, but the speed at which it occurred is also like no other in our history. The result? Employees and contractors were quickly displaced and left scratching their heads saying, “What just happened?” Businesses scrambled to communicate with employees, clients, and vendors. Leadership teams worked tirelessly to adhere to remote requirements, struggled to put technologies in place, and quickly built new processes to maintain revenue that would keep the doors open and employees on staff. It has left a trail of exhaustion. But, in the wreck of it all, the small business – the entrepreneur – quickly and without warning, may have felt like they were thrown out of a 20 story window, watching their life pass before them, all to hit the safety net which was faulty, at best.

I ask you…look around. Our communities are not the same. Aside from the fear of the unknown and a total mental shift, practically overnight, doors have shut – permanently. Many of our favorite retail shops have sunk and countless places we frequented for lunch have not survived. A true sadness is in it all, as it’s the entrepreneurial spirit that makes our great country thrive. It makes us unique. These hopeful spirits create our fidgets and gadgets, they give us a place to congregate that isn’t built from the cookie cutter and their creativity advances our nation in amazing ways – it’s the American Dream. But we are a bit battered and broken and we’ve lost a bit of our shine.

Related: The Supreme Court’s Ruling on LGBTQ+ Workplace Protections Could Help Revitalize the Entire Economy

The reality is that eventually we will get back to our routine. We will mingle with each other again. And we will go back to work. But we will never forget what 2020 has burned into our brains and the rubble that was left in its wake. Many dreams have been lost or are still dangling in the balance. I know, nobody wants to talk about COVID anymore. Enough is enough, right? Wrong. Just like in any business situation, you can’t have blinders on. You can only mitigate future situations if you take the time to learn from what happened, face the impact, understand what was lacking, and cling to the seed of hope – planting it if there is a next time.

I talked with Samantha Moore, an entrepreneur and small business owner of an adorable boutique gift shop, Simple to Sublime, in Summerville, SC. She has handpicked the products she sells, works behind her own counter, and puts great effort into the feel you get as you walk in the door. She has, like many, the kind of business we want to have on our corners. It’s unique. It’s charming. It’s not cut and paste. Here’s a conversation I had with her. She was open about the challenges she has endured, what the new normal means and her advice for small business owners. Take heed, as the more we understand, empathize, and support these local businesses, the more we will be able to look this beast in the face and say, never again.

Have you faced challenges before, prior to COVID-19, that made you question your decision to be a small business owner?

Of course! There are many instances that have caused me to pause and ask the question, “Why am I doing this?” Sometimes it was a lack of cash flow, difficulty hiring the right people, economic downturns, rent increases or even local or national politics. But I always took a step back, assessed what was going on, and readjusted the plan. For me, throwing in the towel was never an option. You must be resilient, a bit stubborn, and have a large measure of creativity in solving problems to ride the waves.

How has COVID-19 impacted your business?

In my head, I have this image of coronavirus as a huge tsunami wiping out a small town. That’s how crushing it feels to my small business. Events happened so quickly, that I literally couldn’t communicate plans to my team before they would change. The economic impact on my business has been catastrophic. As the store was forced to close, the only opportunity for sales was through social media and a new online store that had to be created. Everything was in warp speed and for a business with limited resources, it is an understatement to say that things were difficult.

As businesses start to reopen around the country, what do you see as an ongoing challenge for small business owners?

Customers are likely going to be nervous about coming back inside stores. I also believe that customers, in quarantine, have really been pushed towards online retailers and big-box stores, as they were the only ones that were open. I am hopeful but know that it may be an uphill battle to get them back into the independent brick-and-mortar stores. Couple this with the crushing unemployment statistics and we are going to have to fight, hard, to get consumers to spend their money on discretionary items.

Related: 5 Lessons That Will Stay With Me After the Quarantine

How have you had to get creative in your marketing?

Prior to COVID, we did not have an online store. Now we do. We had never done social selling. Now we do Facebook Live as a part of our regular routine. We’ve also added free local delivery and we work hard to stay connected to our loyal customers through virtual events. Everything is different. In the end, if we can pull through, this trial-by-fire will make us stronger.

What would you like policymakers to do to help the small business owner right now?

I received the Economic Injury Disaster Loan. But, as we all know, loans are a bandage that can soothe today but create more financial difficulty down-the-road. I also received funds from the Payroll Protection Program, but the economic impacts will last far longer than the eight weeks of payroll that we received. Then what?  We need long term help and legislation that will ensure that future funds go to the businesses that they were designed to help.

And, going forward, we need policymakers to solve the unrest in our country and work across party lines to restore consumer confidence. Then, and only then, will we build a foundation that is on solid ground.

What is your advice to other small business owners?

Rest when you need to rest and fight when you need to fight. We need to remember to stay connected with our customers, stay educated on our industry, reach out to our peers, make webinars part of our daily work calendar, think creatively, and work harder than we have ever worked before. My biggest suggestion would be to not look at today for the pot of gold. Do the hard work and make consistent changes now. This will catapult us when the world gets back to our “new normal.” The real gain will be in the long term.

Related: 5 Steps to Protect Your Career As We Turn Toward Recovery

Quick tips and ideas for small business owners

I asked some marketing agency pros, and here are three tips for small business owners in the midst of the COVID crisis:

1. Run a social media contest. Tom De Spiegelaere is a Senior Digital Marketer and the founder of Tom Spicky. He suggests running a “Caption This” contest as a simple attention-getter campaign. By uploading a funny photo from your store on social and requesting their participation, it will engage consumers, incorporate humor, become highly shareable, and will help to increase brand awareness.

2. Create D.I.Y. projects from items that you sell – share through your social platforms. James Jason, Assistant marketing agency Manager for Mitrade, knows that you need to find customers where they are (which may be at home). Get creative by coming up with tiny projects that customers can use – paired with what you sell. For example, show them a shirt and couple it with a simple how-to for a matching face mask.

3. Show you care and understand your customer’s concerns. John Butterworth, In-House marketing agency Manager at Virtual Internships, knows that you must embrace COVID-19 and that in order to find success for a brick-and-mortar location you must make your customers feel safe. Use tools, such as Calendly, to provide private appointments in-store.

Meet financial and emotional stress with action

The pandemic has created a disaster of epic proportions for many in our country. Some effects are yet to be seen. But we know one thing for sure. Small businesses and entrepreneurs in every state are fighting to regain what they lost, rebuild what has been destroyed, and welcome their beloved customers back, with open arms. As Samantha told me, “Now is the time to meet stress with action and to not let perfection stand in the way of progress.” When all is said and done, it may not look the same. It may not feel the same, but we are resilient, and we will regain our shine.

loading…

Website Design & SEO Delray Beach by DBL07.co

Delray Beach SEO

source http://www.scpie.org/what-local-business-owners-are-doing-to-recover-from-the-covid-19-tsunami/ source https://scpie.tumblr.com/post/621406534229999616

[scpie]

What Local Business Owners Are Doing to Recover From the Covid-19 Tsunami

June 19, 2020 8 min read

Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, 21 million people are currently unemployed. To put this in perspective, the Great Recession in the early-2000s saw its height of unemployment in 2010 at 14.8 million. The COVID pandemic has not only left this number in the shadows, but the speed at which it occurred is also like no other in our history. The result? Employees and contractors were quickly displaced and left scratching their heads saying, “What just happened?” Businesses scrambled to communicate with employees, clients, and vendors. Leadership teams worked tirelessly to adhere to remote requirements, struggled to put technologies in place, and quickly built new processes to maintain revenue that would keep the doors open and employees on staff. It has left a trail of exhaustion. But, in the wreck of it all, the small business – the entrepreneur – quickly and without warning, may have felt like they were thrown out of a 20 story window, watching their life pass before them, all to hit the safety net which was faulty, at best.

I ask you…look around. Our communities are not the same. Aside from the fear of the unknown and a total mental shift, practically overnight, doors have shut – permanently. Many of our favorite retail shops have sunk and countless places we frequented for lunch have not survived. A true sadness is in it all, as it’s the entrepreneurial spirit that makes our great country thrive. It makes us unique. These hopeful spirits create our fidgets and gadgets, they give us a place to congregate that isn’t built from the cookie cutter and their creativity advances our nation in amazing ways – it’s the American Dream. But we are a bit battered and broken and we’ve lost a bit of our shine.

Related: The Supreme Court’s Ruling on LGBTQ+ Workplace Protections Could Help Revitalize the Entire Economy

The reality is that eventually we will get back to our routine. We will mingle with each other again. And we will go back to work. But we will never forget what 2020 has burned into our brains and the rubble that was left in its wake. Many dreams have been lost or are still dangling in the balance. I know, nobody wants to talk about COVID anymore. Enough is enough, right? Wrong. Just like in any business situation, you can’t have blinders on. You can only mitigate future situations if you take the time to learn from what happened, face the impact, understand what was lacking, and cling to the seed of hope – planting it if there is a next time.

I talked with Samantha Moore, an entrepreneur and small business owner of an adorable boutique gift shop, Simple to Sublime, in Summerville, SC. She has handpicked the products she sells, works behind her own counter, and puts great effort into the feel you get as you walk in the door. She has, like many, the kind of business we want to have on our corners. It’s unique. It’s charming. It’s not cut and paste. Here’s a conversation I had with her. She was open about the challenges she has endured, what the new normal means and her advice for small business owners. Take heed, as the more we understand, empathize, and support these local businesses, the more we will be able to look this beast in the face and say, never again.

Have you faced challenges before, prior to COVID-19, that made you question your decision to be a small business owner?

Of course! There are many instances that have caused me to pause and ask the question, “Why am I doing this?” Sometimes it was a lack of cash flow, difficulty hiring the right people, economic downturns, rent increases or even local or national politics. But I always took a step back, assessed what was going on, and readjusted the plan. For me, throwing in the towel was never an option. You must be resilient, a bit stubborn, and have a large measure of creativity in solving problems to ride the waves.

How has COVID-19 impacted your business?

In my head, I have this image of coronavirus as a huge tsunami wiping out a small town. That’s how crushing it feels to my small business. Events happened so quickly, that I literally couldn’t communicate plans to my team before they would change. The economic impact on my business has been catastrophic. As the store was forced to close, the only opportunity for sales was through social media and a new online store that had to be created. Everything was in warp speed and for a business with limited resources, it is an understatement to say that things were difficult.

As businesses start to reopen around the country, what do you see as an ongoing challenge for small business owners?

Customers are likely going to be nervous about coming back inside stores. I also believe that customers, in quarantine, have really been pushed towards online retailers and big-box stores, as they were the only ones that were open. I am hopeful but know that it may be an uphill battle to get them back into the independent brick-and-mortar stores. Couple this with the crushing unemployment statistics and we are going to have to fight, hard, to get consumers to spend their money on discretionary items.

Related: 5 Lessons That Will Stay With Me After the Quarantine

How have you had to get creative in your marketing?

Prior to COVID, we did not have an online store. Now we do. We had never done social selling. Now we do Facebook Live as a part of our regular routine. We’ve also added free local delivery and we work hard to stay connected to our loyal customers through virtual events. Everything is different. In the end, if we can pull through, this trial-by-fire will make us stronger.

What would you like policymakers to do to help the small business owner right now?

I received the Economic Injury Disaster Loan. But, as we all know, loans are a bandage that can soothe today but create more financial difficulty down-the-road. I also received funds from the Payroll Protection Program, but the economic impacts will last far longer than the eight weeks of payroll that we received. Then what?  We need long term help and legislation that will ensure that future funds go to the businesses that they were designed to help.

And, going forward, we need policymakers to solve the unrest in our country and work across party lines to restore consumer confidence. Then, and only then, will we build a foundation that is on solid ground.

What is your advice to other small business owners?

Rest when you need to rest and fight when you need to fight. We need to remember to stay connected with our customers, stay educated on our industry, reach out to our peers, make webinars part of our daily work calendar, think creatively, and work harder than we have ever worked before. My biggest suggestion would be to not look at today for the pot of gold. Do the hard work and make consistent changes now. This will catapult us when the world gets back to our “new normal.” The real gain will be in the long term.

Related: 5 Steps to Protect Your Career As We Turn Toward Recovery

Quick tips and ideas for small business owners

I asked some marketing agency pros, and here are three tips for small business owners in the midst of the COVID crisis:

1. Run a social media contest. Tom De Spiegelaere is a Senior Digital Marketer and the founder of Tom Spicky. He suggests running a “Caption This” contest as a simple attention-getter campaign. By uploading a funny photo from your store on social and requesting their participation, it will engage consumers, incorporate humor, become highly shareable, and will help to increase brand awareness.

2. Create D.I.Y. projects from items that you sell – share through your social platforms. James Jason, Assistant marketing agency Manager for Mitrade, knows that you need to find customers where they are (which may be at home). Get creative by coming up with tiny projects that customers can use – paired with what you sell. For example, show them a shirt and couple it with a simple how-to for a matching face mask.

3. Show you care and understand your customer’s concerns. John Butterworth, In-House marketing agency Manager at Virtual Internships, knows that you must embrace COVID-19 and that in order to find success for a brick-and-mortar location you must make your customers feel safe. Use tools, such as Calendly, to provide private appointments in-store.

Meet financial and emotional stress with action

The pandemic has created a disaster of epic proportions for many in our country. Some effects are yet to be seen. But we know one thing for sure. Small businesses and entrepreneurs in every state are fighting to regain what they lost, rebuild what has been destroyed, and welcome their beloved customers back, with open arms. As Samantha told me, “Now is the time to meet stress with action and to not let perfection stand in the way of progress.” When all is said and done, it may not look the same. It may not feel the same, but we are resilient, and we will regain our shine.

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source http://www.scpie.org/what-local-business-owners-are-doing-to-recover-from-the-covid-19-tsunami/

[siphen0]

Last week’s episode of Demon Slayer was very fun. I enjoyed the opportunity to see these three in a calmer state given the time to actually heal up. Honestly, I was a bit worried that this would just be one mission to the next until they fall over from doing too much with little time to recover. Probably the only time I ever had reservations with an anime series moving fast. With that said, it was entertaining to see just how these three form a bond beyond their current circumstance.

That made it easier for this next episode to skip to their recovery so that the Kungai crow could pop up once more to send the off to Mt. Natagumo. Now of course since there was three of them, I couldn’t help but wonder what on Earth could really call for the strength of three demon slayers. The answer to that made sense of the numbers required to overcome this new threat. The mountain was covered with spider webs, swarming with innumerable spiders, and let’s not forget the discovery of the ones who were apparently sent before them. There was a lot of obstacles for them to deal with in order to find the opportunity to bring this disaster to a close.

Given their healed states, it was exciting to see what they could accomplish when one-hundred percent in the action. That goes for them being all there mentally as well. This mission really put the group’s dynamic to the test. Mainly when it came down to Tanjiro and Inosuke. It was a no-brainer that they would be quick to jump into the fight. However, there’s no telling what could happen when relying on Inosuke. As we all know, the guy is quite unstable. Not to mention quick to jump in without really giving his actions much thought. That’s one way to clash with someone who excels at assessing a situation and enemy before acting. Having to deal with Demon Slayers entangled in the webs as puppets was a great obstacle to create as well. Can the beast really be tamed to hold back against people still alive? This kept yo at the edge of your seat. That is until we finally got a taste of what Inosuke is capable of.

If I;m being honest, I never thought much of him aside from comparison to Kenpachi from Bleach. It was hard not to see that when thinking of someone with that kind of sword and consistently resorting to brute strength to get by. This week’s episode was the perfect time to assure us that he still has some tricks up his sleeve. Simply just needs some motivation to use that head.

So with that said, this brings us to the demon in the mountain. The dangers they posed as spiders wasn’t anything you didn’t see before, but they still worked for the kind of team they are dealing with. What stood out the most about them had to be their designs. I found it to be very creative. Most simply go for the humanoid mix where you look human on top and spider down below. They went bold and went full humanoid, while relying on facial markings and hair style to distinguish them. It also helped that the color scheme for them was primary white, and secondary red. Aside from this, there wasn’t too much that we got out of them yet. Good in the sense that this leaves us anticipating the moment where they all come face to face. They don’t seem physically dangerous, but you never know when looks can be deceiving.

Only one thing didn’t shock me, and that was how Zenitsu found himself too scared to go on as Tanjiro, Nezuko, and Inosuke made their way to the mountain.At this point you can tell what kind of character he is going to be. While it disappoints you that he will another name added to the list of powerful characters who never reach their potential, there is no denying that he does meet your needs for entertainment value. Even if you say he cuts into the seriousness of a plot, you don’t always want to lose viewers to a story that can’t find points to be light. Regardless, you knew he wasn’t going to just stay in one place, and that can only lead to interesting moments once he gets himself caught in the action.

Demon Slayer “Mount Natagumo” throws our slayers back into the action. I wouldn’t call them a team yet, but this would be the start of something as their teamwork is put to the test against a calculating enemy. Let’s just hope that this one is able to continue topping the encounters previous.

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Demon Slayer “Mount Natagumo” Review Last week's episode of Demon Slayer was very fun. I enjoyed the opportunity to see these three in a calmer state given the time to actually heal up.

[skinflesh97-blog]

Coping

Road trip prep. Kids, you're in charge of  the cookies.

My alarm went off at 4:00am—an abrupt wakeup after finally finishing packing just three hours earlier. I snoozed it once…..ok, twice, and then we shoved the kids (still half asleep) into what little space was left in the loaded car, and headed west. It was a lonnnnnnng drive across Nevada—driving into the wind the entire way, dust blowing onto our roadside break of turkey and cheese. 

Thanks to the Internet and a few pointers from friends, we had a couple “ideas” where we may want to set up camp for the next four nights-we are not usually great at making FIRM plans….we are more “general idea” kind of people. You could say we are almost always winging it.  We headed down a 10 mile dirt road towards what we knew would be THE. MOST. AMAZING. campsite ever—in the trees, right on the lake, perfect. We were tired, hungry, and ready to get settled. Last fall we bought a little pop-up trailer—we figured as often as we camp, it would be nice to get out of the elements occasionally. We have loved it so far—we are always able to find secluded places to park it off the beaten path and keep away from crowds; we had planned on this time being the same.

We could faintly see the clear blue water through the trees, and were relieved and happy to have finally arrived after a full day in the car. But then we pulled up and saw what seemed to be a “local’s only” party….and we were definitely not invited. A few cars and tents scattered around near the water’s edge—no room at the inn—and here’s the kicker, the only place to turn around was occupied by several cars. And we were pulling a trailer. Whoops. 

Robby handles these situations much better than I do—we slowly drove through—every head turned. He laughed and waved like we were in a parade “we’re from out of town. Obviously. We didn’t know this place was so popular”. I sat in the passenger seat sweating and sinking lower and lower in my seat, wondering how we were ever going to get out of this place with nowhere to turn around. We inched our way through the trees—Robby maneuvering our set up  (that all the sudden seemed like a TRAIN in such tight quarters) and finally managed our way out, using a 57 point turn. We peeled out and kicked up dust as we sped away—except totally opposite of that, because the trailer only allows us to go so fast—and laughed all the way back out to the main road. At least we gave the locals a good laugh, right!? We didn’t want to take our chance down anymore unknown roads, so we put our tail between our legs and headed towards a campground.

California!

We got camp set up around ten—it was 45* in Lassen, and we were still in flip flops and shorts and really too exhausted to do anything but crawl into bed and crash. So we chose sleep over dinner and called it a day. 

We took our time waking up the next morning, ate eggs and bacon until we couldn’t eat another bite, and loaded up our packs to head out.. We spent the next three days hiking, paddling, fishing, exploring volcanoes, and completely disconnecting from the outside world. No phone service, no work, no emails to respond to, no worries really—except how stinky our armpits were and how tangled our hair was getting--it was truly the best.

We always manage to find winter in summer.

As we packed up one evening after a day on the lake—fitting kayaks, fishing gear, granola bar wrappers and tired kids into the car, an older gentleman came over—he and his wife were from Los Angeles and driving through the area. He struck up a conversation about our day. “How was the lake? (perfect. empty.) How was the fishing? (more fishing, less catching.)”, and what really struck me, “and your kids LIKE this stuff? How do you make them do all this? How do they cope without their Playstation?” 

“Well…..this is kinda...what we DO. They like to play outside—we actually go camping all the time”. 

“You mean, you just go out into the woods?” 

“yep”………….. 

If we were living in a cartoon world his eyes would have popped out of his head and his jaw would have hit the ground. 

“Huh.”

end scene.

we had the lake to ourselves.

This conversation really got me thinking. As I type this, we are driving back after eight days on the road. We are exhausted—both physically and mentally, tired of camp food, and absolutely filthy—our best “shower” was soaping* up in a river, hoping the icy cold current would rinse away some of the grime. I miss my animals and my garden, yet  I’d happily continue on down the road—I am happiest when I’m out exploring somewhere new. It’s who we are, it’s what we do, and it’s PART of the reason my kids can “cope without their Playstation” (which by the way, we didn’t tell the guy we didn’t even have one.) 

But, it’s only part of the reason—I realize that our particular lifestyle is not for everyone, and that’s ok. But there ARE other ways to keep kids from being completely dependent on screens, gadgets, gizmos, and the need for constant stimulation and entertainment.  Here are a few of my ideas: (I'm not saying this is the only way to parent, it just seems to work for us:)

Don’t buy them screens/gadgets/gizmos/etc. Hey that’s easy—and cheap! My kids are not this special breed of children who have no desire to glue their faces to something plugged in. But it’s a lot harder to do when they don’t have access to it. They don’t have their own phone or ipad, and we have an old xbox with 4 games that they can earn time for on weekends after all their chores are done--it's GREAT bribery!  (ps. I think Minecraft is a GREAT game! So much creativity to unleash!) Do they ask for all the above mentioned stuff? Do they say “but alllllllllllll my friends have ______” They DO! And guess what I say? “I don't care!" And occasionally I like to throw in things like "because I'm the mom and I say so", and then I feel super legit. I realize that as my kids get older, this one is unavoidable, so we will:

Set limits. Maybe you are a cooler parent than me and your kids have a gadget or two. Great! But they don't need to have it in hand alllllllll the time. I started an Instagram account so my kiddos could post the pictures they take and share them with cousins and grandmas and grandpas (and mostly so we could print more Chatbooks!) I log them in so they can post a few photos, we look (together) at what's going on with our cousins, and then I log them out--no time wasted mindlessly scrolling, and no wondering what garbage they saw on Instagram. But they feel connected to their cousins who live far away--win win! When they want to use the computer they have to ask--I want to know what they'll be doing. 

Have other options. As much as I wish we could--we can't spend 100% of our time outside. We are a movie loving family and movie nights are our favorite, but I hate the tv always being on--it's such an easy "out". We've had a scorcher of a summer, and some afternoons we have to hide out in the house to beat the heat, but we are making sure to do lots of reading, writing, and artwork instead of letting the tv constantly entertain us. 

Don't start them so young! I will probably ruffle so many feathers by saying this, but I honestly can't believe how many babies and toddlers I see with a screen in their hand--the grocery store, church, restaurants--everywhere. I somehow raised my babies without a screen in hand (they weren't even invented yet.) And when I say that, it sounds like I raised my babies in the 1800s and just let them play with tumbleweeds, but really it was just a few years ago, I promise. Was it hard to go to Target with a 4 year old and 2 year old? OH MY GOSH IT WAS THE WORST! But did I somehow manage without attaching them to a glowing screen? I DID! And there were a fair share of public meltdowns, tantrums, whining, complaining--because guess what, they are KIDS, and that's what kids do. But if we stick an iPad in their face (and pretend to be ok with it because it's "educational"), just so we can have a peaceful grocery store experience, how can we expect them to learn to function in real life without that constant stimulation? (I ran out of breath reading that last sentence, did you?) 

I am absolutely not a perfect parent, and I pray every day that I'm not screwing these kiddos up too badly.  But I do work ridiculously hard to make sure my kids get dirty, breathe fresh air, do chores, don't rely on screens for constant stimulation, know how to be creative, have original thoughts, and entertain themselves. I would love to hear YOUR ideas on how to better keep kids connected to the real world, and not rely too much on electronic interaction. 

They seem to be coping just fine.

*I mentioned we soaped up in the river--it was the BEST, and I recommend it (but watch out for people coming down the hill--you'll have to run for cover in your skivvies). We use THESE SOAPS  --they are biodegradable and don't mess up the water and vegetation :) **I also mentioned Chatbooks! Do you get these? It's a subscription that I use through my Instagram (you can also create books without IG, but it's so easy and brainless to do it how I do). Every 60 photos I post it sends me a notification that my book is ready--then I can edit captions, take out photos, or do NOTHING, and it will send my photo book automatically--each book costs $8. We LOVE them, and look through them so often (we've been getting them for the last 2 years)--they are great little scrapbooks. If you aren't yet using Chatbooks, go sign up and use the code SHEENA to get 20% off your order now through the end of the month.

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Source: http://inthelittleredhouse.blogspot.com/2016/07/coping.html

[nickelnumber91-blog]

Coping

Road trip prep. Kids, you're in charge of  the cookies.

My alarm went off at 4:00am—an abrupt wakeup after finally finishing packing just three hours earlier. I snoozed it once…..ok, twice, and then we shoved the kids (still half asleep) into what little space was left in the loaded car, and headed west. It was a lonnnnnnng drive across Nevada—driving into the wind the entire way, dust blowing onto our roadside break of turkey and cheese. 

Thanks to the Internet and a few pointers from friends, we had a couple “ideas” where we may want to set up camp for the next four nights-we are not usually great at making FIRM plans….we are more “general idea” kind of people. You could say we are almost always winging it.  We headed down a 10 mile dirt road towards what we knew would be THE. MOST. AMAZING. campsite ever—in the trees, right on the lake, perfect. We were tired, hungry, and ready to get settled. Last fall we bought a little pop-up trailer—we figured as often as we camp, it would be nice to get out of the elements occasionally. We have loved it so far—we are always able to find secluded places to park it off the beaten path and keep away from crowds; we had planned on this time being the same.

We could faintly see the clear blue water through the trees, and were relieved and happy to have finally arrived after a full day in the car. But then we pulled up and saw what seemed to be a “local’s only” party….and we were definitely not invited. A few cars and tents scattered around near the water’s edge—no room at the inn—and here’s the kicker, the only place to turn around was occupied by several cars. And we were pulling a trailer. Whoops. 

Robby handles these situations much better than I do—we slowly drove through—every head turned. He laughed and waved like we were in a parade “we’re from out of town. Obviously. We didn’t know this place was so popular”. I sat in the passenger seat sweating and sinking lower and lower in my seat, wondering how we were ever going to get out of this place with nowhere to turn around. We inched our way through the trees—Robby maneuvering our set up  (that all the sudden seemed like a TRAIN in such tight quarters) and finally managed our way out, using a 57 point turn. We peeled out and kicked up dust as we sped away—except totally opposite of that, because the trailer only allows us to go so fast—and laughed all the way back out to the main road. At least we gave the locals a good laugh, right!? We didn’t want to take our chance down anymore unknown roads, so we put our tail between our legs and headed towards a campground.

California!

We got camp set up around ten—it was 45* in Lassen, and we were still in flip flops and shorts and really too exhausted to do anything but crawl into bed and crash. So we chose sleep over dinner and called it a day. 

We took our time waking up the next morning, ate eggs and bacon until we couldn’t eat another bite, and loaded up our packs to head out.. We spent the next three days hiking, paddling, fishing, exploring volcanoes, and completely disconnecting from the outside world. No phone service, no work, no emails to respond to, no worries really—except how stinky our armpits were and how tangled our hair was getting--it was truly the best.

We always manage to find winter in summer.

As we packed up one evening after a day on the lake—fitting kayaks, fishing gear, granola bar wrappers and tired kids into the car, an older gentleman came over—he and his wife were from Los Angeles and driving through the area. He struck up a conversation about our day. “How was the lake? (perfect. empty.) How was the fishing? (more fishing, less catching.)”, and what really struck me, “and your kids LIKE this stuff? How do you make them do all this? How do they cope without their Playstation?” 

“Well…..this is kinda...what we DO. They like to play outside—we actually go camping all the time”. 

“You mean, you just go out into the woods?” 

“yep”………….. 

If we were living in a cartoon world his eyes would have popped out of his head and his jaw would have hit the ground. 

“Huh.”

end scene.

we had the lake to ourselves.

This conversation really got me thinking. As I type this, we are driving back after eight days on the road. We are exhausted—both physically and mentally, tired of camp food, and absolutely filthy—our best “shower” was soaping* up in a river, hoping the icy cold current would rinse away some of the grime. I miss my animals and my garden, yet  I’d happily continue on down the road—I am happiest when I’m out exploring somewhere new. It���s who we are, it’s what we do, and it’s PART of the reason my kids can “cope without their Playstation” (which by the way, we didn’t tell the guy we didn’t even have one.) 

But, it’s only part of the reason—I realize that our particular lifestyle is not for everyone, and that’s ok. But there ARE other ways to keep kids from being completely dependent on screens, gadgets, gizmos, and the need for constant stimulation and entertainment.  Here are a few of my ideas: (I'm not saying this is the only way to parent, it just seems to work for us:)

Don’t buy them screens/gadgets/gizmos/etc. Hey that’s easy—and cheap! My kids are not this special breed of children who have no desire to glue their faces to something plugged in. But it’s a lot harder to do when they don’t have access to it. They don’t have their own phone or ipad, and we have an old xbox with 4 games that they can earn time for on weekends after all their chores are done--it's GREAT bribery!  (ps. I think Minecraft is a GREAT game! So much creativity to unleash!) Do they ask for all the above mentioned stuff? Do they say “but alllllllllllll my friends have ______” They DO! And guess what I say? “I don't care!" And occasionally I like to throw in things like "because I'm the mom and I say so", and then I feel super legit. I realize that as my kids get older, this one is unavoidable, so we will:

Set limits. Maybe you are a cooler parent than me and your kids have a gadget or two. Great! But they don't need to have it in hand alllllllll the time. I started an Instagram account so my kiddos could post the pictures they take and share them with cousins and grandmas and grandpas (and mostly so we could print more Chatbooks!) I log them in so they can post a few photos, we look (together) at what's going on with our cousins, and then I log them out--no time wasted mindlessly scrolling, and no wondering what garbage they saw on Instagram. But they feel connected to their cousins who live far away--win win! When they want to use the computer they have to ask--I want to know what they'll be doing. 

Have other options. As much as I wish we could--we can't spend 100% of our time outside. We are a movie loving family and movie nights are our favorite, but I hate the tv always being on--it's such an easy "out". We've had a scorcher of a summer, and some afternoons we have to hide out in the house to beat the heat, but we are making sure to do lots of reading, writing, and artwork instead of letting the tv constantly entertain us. 

Don't start them so young! I will probably ruffle so many feathers by saying this, but I honestly can't believe how many babies and toddlers I see with a screen in their hand--the grocery store, church, restaurants--everywhere. I somehow raised my babies without a screen in hand (they weren't even invented yet.) And when I say that, it sounds like I raised my babies in the 1800s and just let them play with tumbleweeds, but really it was just a few years ago, I promise. Was it hard to go to Target with a 4 year old and 2 year old? OH MY GOSH IT WAS THE WORST! But did I somehow manage without attaching them to a glowing screen? I DID! And there were a fair share of public meltdowns, tantrums, whining, complaining--because guess what, they are KIDS, and that's what kids do. But if we stick an iPad in their face (and pretend to be ok with it because it's "educational"), just so we can have a peaceful grocery store experience, how can we expect them to learn to function in real life without that constant stimulation? (I ran out of breath reading that last sentence, did you?) 

I am absolutely not a perfect parent, and I pray every day that I'm not screwing these kiddos up too badly.  But I do work ridiculously hard to make sure my kids get dirty, breathe fresh air, do chores, don't rely on screens for constant stimulation, know how to be creative, have original thoughts, and entertain themselves. I would love to hear YOUR ideas on how to better keep kids connected to the real world, and not rely too much on electronic interaction. 

They seem to be coping just fine.

*I mentioned we soaped up in the river--it was the BEST, and I recommend it (but watch out for people coming down the hill--you'll have to run for cover in your skivvies). We use THESE SOAPS  --they are biodegradable and don't mess up the water and vegetation :) **I also mentioned Chatbooks! Do you get these? It's a subscription that I use through my Instagram (you can also create books without IG, but it's so easy and brainless to do it how I do). Every 60 photos I post it sends me a notification that my book is ready--then I can edit captions, take out photos, or do NOTHING, and it will send my photo book automatically--each book costs $8. We LOVE them, and look through them so often (we've been getting them for the last 2 years)--they are great little scrapbooks. If you aren't yet using Chatbooks, go sign up and use the code SHEENA to get 20% off your order now through the end of the month.

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Source: http://inthelittleredhouse.blogspot.com/2016/07/coping.html