#no but really. i'm a fake catholic actually. you have the evidence right there. don't even know basic bible quotes

[st-florian-geyer]

Ok so in La sociedad de la nieve when Numa writes this sentence "There is no greater love than that which gives one's life for one's friends" on a piece of paper ..... HOW did I not know that was a bible quote??

[gallyg]

Bus Line Blues

suicide, slurs, child abuse

Jake shoved me hard, and my face met concrete.

“Kill yourself, faggot!”

“Why are you so mean to me, Jake?” I barked out. “Why do you want me to kill myself so bad?”

Jake was reeling back to kick me while I was down, then stopped. He put his foot to the ground and his finger to his face. Hand to God, he said, “Hmmm...” out loud. “I guess it's because I'm planning on killing myself before the end of the school year.”

I raised my head to meet his gaze. For the first time, Jake was looking at me with a neutral expression. Before, I had only ever seen naked fury.

“What?” I asked.

His face scrunched. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Okay, so like, my parents both treat me with undisguised contempt, yeah?”

“What do I have to do with that!?”

“I'm getting to that! But you're following me so far, right?”

I shrugged. I had no idea where the fuck he was going with this, but I really did want to know. “Yeah, okay.”

“So, being treated that way 10 hours a day isn't so bad. But when I'm home all day for the summer? That shit makes me want to kill myself. And recently I've been feeling like I'm at my breaking point. But see, I'm Catholic. I don't really know that I buy into everything the church says, but I'm definitely convinced that I'm going to Hell when I kill myself. Thing is, I genuinely believe that an eternity in a pit of sulfur might actually be preferable to the way my parents treat me, so I'm definitely gonna do it anyway! Now, here's the hitch. I'm shy around people I don't know. You may notice I'm a lone wolf bully. I've never had any goons to sick on you, have I?”

I shook my head.

“Anyway, we've known each other for a while. Not that we ever talked much, but we were in the same class in 1st, 2nd, and 4th grade. We worked on that presentation about Amerigo Vespucci together, remember?”

I nodded.

“Not saying we're friends or anything, but we have stuff we could talk about, a shared history. Nobody else in Hell would get the significance of Emily's show-and-tell on my sense of humor.”

I laughed, remembering how funny that show-and-tell was.

“So yeah, I figured if I could get you to kill yourself too, you'd go to Hell, and I'd have someone to talk to.”

“That's awful.” I slowly sat up, keeping my eyes on Jake. I took a deep breath and spoke earnestly. “Jake, you don't have to be alone in this world. We could be friends now, here. Maybe it wouldn't be perfect, but I could help you. We could talk to my parents and some teachers, see if we could do something about your parents.”

Jake smiled. “That's really nice of you to offer. There's a reason I used to like you.”

I furrowed my brow. “Used to?”

“Yeah. See, bullying you the last few years has required me to act like I hate you for the entire school day. I basically gave up all my other hobbies just to practice hating you. And you know what they say: if you wear a mask for long enough, then your face will be the mask face.”

“Do they say that?”

“Pretty sure. Either way, I have become the mask. I faked it, and now I've made it. The hatred is real, is what I mean. At this point, I'd actually be happier being in Hell watching you suffer for all eternity than I would be turning my life around and eventually claiming my reward in the Kingdom of Heaven.”

I started to get up. A kick to my shin knocked me back down. “Ah, what the fuck! You're a psychopath! I'm going to have my parents get a restraining order on you, or move, or something!”

“Hey, man! Don't do that! That'll just make this whole thing take longer. I can make you kill yourself from anywhere. I'll tell people that you've been bullying me this whole time, and I've actually been defending myself. And then when nobody believes me, I'll kill myself and leave a suicide note. It'll reiterate my story and provide evidence in the form of a montage of cherry-picked half-truths and a sprinkling of plausible-sounding lies. And I'll make sure to email my suicide note to the news and CC all of your friends and family in the email so that they all think you're an evil suicide-baiting piece of shit. The isolation will make you kill yourself, but that could take all semester! I can only work on this plan at school because I'm too busy getting beaten all day at home during the summer.”

I sighed. “Wanna just cut class and go jump off a bridge?”

Jake offered a hand. I took it, and he helped me up. Jake pulled me in for a half-hug. “I thought you'd never ask.”