#no but it's kinda true i do actually suffer from cultural cringe but i see how bad it can be for artists from australia

[vogelmeister]

thinking about the australian cultural cringe on this sunny sunday hbu

[nikatyler]

*gasp* a replies post! A long replies post! A long replies post where I overshare again! *o* Yeah I kinda missed doing these. I’m now at home, but won’t be for much longer. First, I’m going to meet some of my new classmates on Friday and I’ll spend the whole weekend with them! We’re going somewhere...well I don’t even know where that is, just that it’s in nature and I’ve never been there before! Thank gods we’re meeting at the main station in Prague, or else I wouldn’t get there myself. Then on Moday, I have to go to my uni, and then once more on Wednesday I think? And on Wednesday, I’ll have to wake up at 4 am. my LiFe Is SoOoOOOoO HaRd oH mY gOd. No, I’ll be fine.

And a month from now, I’ll be moving to my dorm. That’s some crazy stuff. I can’t believe it’s happening. Last week, my dad actually took me to Prague and we went to see where it is. The location reminds me a lot of my home, but I won’t tell you what exactly that is because no one needs to know that. Anyway, school starts in October. I’m actually looking forward to studying, but the “living alone in a big city with people I’ve never seen before” part is scary. D: I’ll give you updates.

Anyway, today was a weird day. First, I sat alone by the lake when these two guys came and talked to me (I didn’t mind that actually, they were kinda nice), then when I got up and said I had to go home, one of them complimented my legs...which would’ve been really nice but then he basically implied he’d go to bed with me...and like literally five minutes ago he said he had a girlfriend...basically men are scary. Then later, mum and I went grocery shopping and I saw my middle school crush with his girlfriend...and decided that his girlfriend is cute, way cuter than him actually...bisexual culture I guess, crushing on your middle school crush’s girlfriend lmao. Then we went to pay for our groceries and the cashier...was my childhood friend who also happened to be my first crush and also my last crush and these days I’m wondering if I’m really crushing on him or if I’m just holding onto him because I don’t know any better. Long story but if you ever feel like I have a thing for childhood friends to lovers trope, maybe blame him.

Wow. Oversharing much? Let’s get to those replies then, before I tell you what colour my underwear is or something.

Also!! Stream Lover. You won’t regret it.

volcanopasta replied to your photoset “@ ea guess what we still don’t have in ts4”

I miss spooning

I feel like that’s one of those little things half of the community misses. ;-;

simlishprincess replied to your photoset “MAGNOLIA???”

she’s morphing

She’s broken like this really often and it scares me :D

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Vanessa: “So do you forgive me?” Gwyneth: “Of course I do. I must...”

Lol, a bpr founder telling thez plan no more children, they are so funny

These sims have no clue what I have in store

And just you wait for gen 2

Just you wait

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “There it is. Wonder what she could use the computer for…;) (no, I...”

Well I can`t say this is surprisingXD

Yeah...do most people go for purple? At least most bpr people I follow/followed went for this colour :D I also wanted to do this thing where the founder chooses the pink person, but the heir is purple. Idk why, I just wanted it to be like that haha

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Uhh oh hi again. You guys are seeing this right after the last post,...”

Jeez, Vanessa looks like that liquid Terminaor from Terninator 2.Funnily enough he was posing as a police officerXD

Lol I have no idea what you’re talking about because I’m bad at watching iconic movies (read as: I haven’t watched any of the movies that people think everyone has watched :’D) but I’ll believe you lmao

dandylion240  replied to your photoset “I really can’t justify this, can I? Listen, I have to stay true to my...”

Sometimes the aliens won't let you go even if you want to.

Oh you’re right

create-a-sim replied to your photoset “She traded her policeman hat for a fishnet top. Fashion, you know.”

me as a policeman

Saaaame

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “You know how I said I couldn’t justify this? Well…Alexa play Oops I...”

Yeah, make Roxanne that purple sibling/s

Careful what you wish for 👀

dandylion240 replied to your post “The power of what sharing a worry with someone can do amazes me, as a...”

Awe I'm glad you didn't delete without telling anyone. You would have been missed. But you're not the only one who thinks about doing that though.

I love seeing you on my dash ❤️

1o8percent replied to your post “The power of what sharing a worry with someone can do amazes me, as a...”

I’m glad that sharing your worries was able to help you. Simblr can be overwhelming and well life in general can be too. It’s nice to have someone to let it out to. I’m glad you’re still around!

♥♥♥

Thank you guys so much. This happens to me from time to time, but it’s never been this bad.

desira-sims replied to your post “Random thoughts and ideas: NSB, BC and my hair (again)”

I’m slowly working through the sentence starters too. I didn’t realize quite how difficult some of them would be. Lol

Same! I might incorporate one of them into my yellow gen because it would fit there perfectly. God I’m really going to milk this one awful awful event for angst huh. That will be frowned upon. As for the other...I have an idea for it but it doesn’t fit the og Raleb timeline at all (it was for them) and I want it to be canon...like I kinda just don’t want to call it an AU, but I guess I’ll have to.

aiseinei replied to your photoset “Eden: “Ughhh oh my god my life is soooo hard!”

I would be too if I was stuck staring pink in the mirror for the rest of my life �� no very cute!

Oof same haha. One of the reasons why I was hesitant about starting BPR was the pink :D

And then I went and made my founder marry a pink sim and have four pink children with her, because that makes sense. I love making myself suffer, yay!

Thank you, btw!

medleymisty replied to your post “I'm not saying I want to re-read my entire NSB but...I kinda do. Will...”

*hugs* We're our own worst critics. I used to cringe at my old stuff too, but really it was decent. I might have learned more since then, but it was still good. I'm glad you can see the good in yours. :)

I’m definitely not as hard at my younger self anymore. I went and read some of my stories written when I was 13-14, and I tried to look at it that way. They weren’t perfect, but maybe they were good for a child of that age. I mean, I always got good grades on my writing homework, and my teachers have always liked how I worked with words, so...yeah, it’s not perfect, but I’m not going to have perfectly fleshed out characters and storylines when I have barely even understood that the world isn’t just black and white, good and evil. There are shades inbetween.

That got deep again but I have a lot of feelings about this and I’m sorry to my younger writer self for how I’ve treated her. Keep going, kid.

xiapxls replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

Me! Whenever I come across a new blog I'm interested in I always read everything before I hit follow

whysimstho replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

It was how I found your blog actually!

yamekamerainbows27 replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

I have! ✋✋

elisabettasims replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

I feel like I read over 90% of it?

dandylion240 replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

Me. Was in love with Ross since he was born in game. He was such a lil cutie!!

desira-sims replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

Me! Came across a Ross and Caleb post and went back to the beginning to read it all.

1o8percent replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

I have ��

Wooow there’s a lot of you. And you stuck with me through the bad and the worse, through all the dumb ideas I got...thank you. Seriously, thank you. There’s more in store, I promise.

You’ll want to punch me in the face eventually, I’m just saying.

Speaking of punching someone in the face, yesterday I was waiting for my hair to dry and I thought hmm, let’s go read gen 2 of my NSB. And...I knew Ross was an idiot when he was young, but I forgot he was that bad. I’m glad none of us accepted it and we only collectively forgave him when he got his crap together. Yay. Also yay we didn’t cancel him because cancel culture is disgusting, people can learn from their mistakes.

I’m going off topic again. That happens when I’m in a good mood.

elisabettasims replied to your post “Let's play a game, "how many more curly maxis match hair can I...”

It's true, there is never enough.

dandylion240 replied to your post “Let's play a game, "how many more curly maxis match hair can I...”

There is never enough

Glad we’re on the same page haha

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “��”

Yes, tumblr finally stopped bullying me and send my ask!

Yay tumblr, it got its crap together for once!

No, jokes aside, if you ever send me an ask and I don’t respond, feel free to send it again. I think I got better at answering my asks fast, so you can definitely tell by that. Also, if I answer everyone else’s and not yours...that’s also a sign because I hardly ever keep asks private (unless I’ve been asked to do so, then I’ll always respect your wish!)

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “I have to catch a bus in like ten minutes but here’s what I’ve been...”

This hairstyle suits Ross!

It kinda really does?? It was also the closest I could get to his ts4 one haha.

toxoplasmajuice replied to your photoset “Contestant number seven has arrived! Talia: “Is everything alright?...”

god yeah as an experienced bc player i feel that, introductions take SO long and get SO annoying

I had an “ok I’m never doing this again” moment with literally every contestant because 1) it was taking forever and 2) making ten different and yet still entertaining dialogues was hard

And I write a lot so you’d say that would be easy for me, but nope :’D

doka-chan replied to your post “I don't know how many of you are interested in my book...”

Book recommendations are always a plus. Thank you ! :)

I like them too! Not only because, well, I get a book recommendation, but also because I’m always curious about what people read haha.

vintageplumbobs replied to your post “Just queued episode 2 of the BC and one of the posts got flagged…wanna...”

Not all of us have time for breakfast! I can’t be looking at that in the staff kitchen! People will riot! ����

Oh that’s right, forgive me tumblr, I have sinned

desira-sims replied to your post “But I’ve never told you that before.” Caleb and Ross, please? ��”

That is the sweetest thing ever. ������

dandylion240 replied to your post “But I’ve never told you that before.” Caleb and Ross, please? ��”

I love it ❤️

Thank you guys ;-; ♥ I loved writing this so much. It gave me that nice warm feeling inside, you know what I mean? They make me so happy! ;-;

wcif a vampire best friend that would eventually end up marrying me?

dandylion240 replied to your post “Just queued episode 2 of the BC and one of the posts got flagged…wanna...”

Every single post of Emerson bc was flagged and they weren’t nsfw either mostly

Yeah, this is so weird...I know people say it happens when the picture has a lot of “skintone” coloured pixels...but that’s not always the case with my flagged posts??

Also (I’ll never shut up about this)...why is there a female-presenting nipples rule when it clearly can’t ever tell female and male nipples apart? I’m just saying. And yes I get it, for AI it sure has to be difficult to tell such things apart but in my opinion that’s exactly why they should get rid of it and only incorporate it when it can tell it apart. Actually, hold on, nope. The nipple rule is stupid no matter what gender the nipple is.

And I’ve just used the word nipple more times than ever before in my nineteen-something years long life.

desira-sims replied to your photoset “Some more pictures of Aretha ♥”

She's so pretty

Thank you! ♥ I’m happy with how she turned out.

vintageplumbobs replied to your photoset “I did not forget about those townie makeovers! @epicvictoria suggested...”

That style really suits her. But then...maybe I’m biased...

I think it suits her way better than her original outfits too, but same, I might be biased...vintage/retro aesthetic is my jam.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “How to tell which characters are my favourite? Well, they probably...”

Looking good!

omiscanking replied to your photoset “How to tell which characters are my favourite? Well, they probably...”

I'm scrEAMINGGGG

Haha thank you! I hope it’s a good kind of screaming :D

toxoplasmajuice replied to your post “Thoughts?”

screenshots are cool and all but i say if you wanna rely more on text then go for it! especially if you've figured out that taking all those screenshots is an obstacle for you - do what works best for you, you know?

doka-chan replied to your post “Thoughts?”

For me a story is up to its writer. I don't mind only one picture with a huge text, or the contrary a lot of picture with little to no text. As long as we got attached to the characters, it's not important, as long as it's progressing and understandable.

dandylion240 replied to your post “Thoughts?”

I don’t mind reading a lot of text. Pics are always second to the story to me.

desira-sims replied to your post “Thoughts?”

I sort of think there should be a balance. No, not everything needs to be shown as a ss, but it should be more than one photo for a wall of text.

Thank you for your feedback! I think it would be no more than one Word page of text. Which is a lot still but I think that’s the maximum I’d go for. And I mean, I’d show all the important moments. It’s just, I guess I don’t need ten different pictures of the same conversation when these people are just standing next to each other. And it doesn’t need to be split into ten different posts either.

I’ll figure it out, don’t worry.

deathflowertea replied to your photoset “the softest bean �� alternate, boring caption: So I finally decided to...”

TS4 looks good on her! ��

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “the softest bean �� alternate, boring caption: So I finally decided to...”

Cute!

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “the softest bean �� alternate, boring caption: So I finally decided to...”

I love her!!

Thank you guys! I really like how she turned out too.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “I'm thinking of starting something like "random facts about..." tags...”

I do love when people talk about their characters and stories! It makes OCs more real and all the small details are just adorable!

Me too. I want to know all the details. Tell me how you came up with this or that. Tell me what inspired you to do this. Tell me which song you associate with them. Tell me little things like what shower gel they’re using. I JUST LOVE OCS OKAY

toxoplasmajuice replied to your photo “Nicky: “This is a tragedy. Can I burn my picture before anyone sees...”

me whenever i finish a drawing

big relatable mood

create-a-sim replied to your post “list 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the ask box for...”

I love good lyrics as well ;)

I’ve recently found a lot of appreciation for lyrics that seem simple, but then you get into them or read some behind the scenes facts and realize they’re not as simple as they might seem. Then I feel like the person who wrote it is a genius.

ineptbubbles replied to your photoset “Could I ever get bored of her? Nope.  Could I ever get bored of making...”

Omgosh I love that shirt!!

Me toooo and I need one irl ;-; But I mean, I’ve told my sister so many times this week, maybe when my birthday comes around in December, she’ll remember and she’ll tell my parents I want it? :D I mean I could just ask them for that myself but I just know I’d be embarrassed for some reason.

mlpsimmer replied to your photoset “Roxanne: “Dad, what are you doing here?! You told me you were supposed...”

Your sims are gorgeous!

Thank you so muuuuch! ♥

desira-sims replied to your post “Fluff sentence starter 16. “Do you think the moon is jealous of how...”

These two. �� My heart. I just love them.

dandylion240 replied to your post “Fluff sentence starter 16. “Do you think the moon is jealous of how...”

I love this thank you ❤️

Same. They borrowed my heart, said they’d give it back and then ran away with it and I never saw it again. smh guys, stealing isn’t nice

And no, thank YOU for making me write this ♥

mlpsimmer replied to your post “Tumblr……..your protect-kids-from-seeing-nipples algorithm still isn’t...”

It happened to one of my drafts, which was never published. They were fully dressed, too! It's a little annoying.

Yeah, I just talked about this above in a reply to an older comment. It’s...ugh tumblr, what is u doing

[ournewoverlords]

Booksmart slaps. It’s just a huge amount of fun to watch - the key word here for me is “good-natured”. This is a good-natured movie that teases and pokes fun at a lot of people - a lot of *kinds* of people, from the queer drama kids to the dopey jocks to the Gen Z overachieving feminist types who have pictures of Michelle Obama on their wall and can quote Susan B Anthony from memory - without ever making fun of anyone in a mean-spirited way, and highlighting that no one is ever “just” their tribe. The ending ties the story up neatly with a feel-good bow about how no one is really what they seem on the surface, especially not in high school, when everyone’s trying so hard to be invulnerable… which also means they can’t be *seen*. There’s a lot of great character work here that I think could’ve been fleshed out even more (the 1 hour 45 min runtime feels shockingly short in the day and age of Endgame) but still feels natural and sincere, and the huge array of secondary characters - real characters, not just insert-famous-cameos - gives this movie not just humor but so much life and buoyancy.

(Warning: light spoilers beneath cut)

What keeps it from reaching the top tier for me, though, is that it somehow still feels like something I’ve seen before, even though the window dressing is so different. It’s definitely rare to see female best-friendship displayed so frankly, genuinely, and *hilariously* on the big screen, and I can’t remember another movie where the nerdy valedictorian is a boss and knows it, not to mention one where one of them is a lesbian (my young baby lesbian Amy!! protect that cinnamon roll), but the story of two blood-sworn, childhood-, everything-friends reaching the last chapter of their adolescence together in fun and games and boozy celebration, all while the fear of how they’ll face the great unknown without the other is this silent undercurrent churning beneath… that feels familiar to me? That doesn’t keep me from loving this particular theme, because it IS a great one, I just mean it’s not as original as Ladybird, so it lends itself to comparison more easily. 

Superbad, for instance. I actually kinda hate how every review (including the one linked here, which is totally in line with my sentiments) keeps calling this “the female Superbad”. Yes, it’s a coming-of-age comedy about two friends at the end of the senior year trying to go out with a bang together, and yes, it’s a little raunchy, and yes, it really is all about the friendship between the two main characters at its core… but the whole texture, color, and point of Booksmart are completely different. 

By texture, I mean that even as the two girls are the “heroes” of this quest, it’s still interested in the characters outside them, such that you really get the sense that they are their own people, with their own lives and inner life. In the briefest of screentimes you grasp instantly why someone like Molly would be attracted to easygoing jock Nick (but then connects to the hopelessly-messy-but-sweet Jared), and why Amy likes the skatergirl with the big toothy grin. The other kids and love interests aren’t just vessels for Molly and Amy’s own awakenings. In fact, some of them have their own troubles, and they’re all really pretty good kids.

It’s interested in the way that the two mains are, in their own way, not the most perfect people. How the world’s really not out to get them; in fact, they’re the ones who have to learn to fit into it. I talk more about this below, but this was the part I liked the most, because it feels particularly true to life in a way that I don’t think I’ve seen in many other coming-of-age narratives, much less light-hearted comedies.

Speaking of light-hearted, the whole tone of the humor is waay different from Superbad’s too. It’s funny as hell, which is probably the most important thing at the end of the day — there were a few scenes that had me and my entire theater howling — but amazingly for a coming-of-age comedy, I remember very few of the jokes being gross-out or sexual, or even all that cringe. Booksmart mines a lot of physical humor just in their sheer facial expressions (if a picture is a thousand words, Beanie Feldstein’s face does the work of a thousand punchlines), but it’s mostly the little throw-away lines and hilarious sketches (the attempted robbery in the car! Amy’s overly-well-meaning parents! everything GiGi and Jared do) that string everything together and carry the day. That’s not to say that there aren’t serious moments that are given due weight too — Amy under the water, submerged in that song is just an absolutely beautiful shot. 

It reminds me a little of Bo Burnham’s Eighth Grade, which I think is a more interesting comparison than Superbad here. Booksmart tries to capture some of that raw realness that Eighth Grade had, underneath all the silliness and humor; it is, in many ways, about how hard it is to be vulnerable to someone else, even (especially) the people you love. It pulls at a lot of strands and among them are the idea that this is what high school is really like, that to be honest all these boys (and girls!) who hold your heart in their clumsy, sweaty fingers will be like leaves in the wind years from now, that standing on the entrance to adulthood isn’t a physical change, it’s not about booze, or losing your virginity, or getting accepted by your peers. Becoming an adult is inner work, alright, but it’s also not work you can do on your own. Because it’s about how you treat yourself, but it’s about how you treat other people too. 

But I think where Eighth Grade really succeeds is this it has this kind of specificity to it — it really, really is about this awkward girl, and her lonely existence, and about being a girl who is becoming a woman in a certain context. And that specificity gives it a kind of honesty that rings painfully true to me. Booksmart — probably because it is trying to avoid stereotypes and do something entirely new here, which is totally commendable — almost feels a little too universal. It feels like you could replace Molly and Amy here with dudes, and it wouldn’t be a huge change in dynamics outside the pussy hats and Malalia worship, because these two are defined more by their identities as “overachieving party-pooping best-friend NERDS” than by being girls per se. These are two whipsmart dorks who are best friends, and happen to be female, rather than a portrayal of female best friendship per se. And the other kids treat them that way too: no one gives a shit Molly’s chubby or Amy’s a lesbian, they give a shit that they’re exasperating know-it-alls.

Which is REALLY refreshing. I’m being unfair here — it’s *because* it’s so rare to see female friendships or just girls in general depicted this way on screen that I think it doesn’t quite “fit” my own intuitions about real life. But I’m a weird case of someone who really struggled in high school, and definitely didn’t have friends much less deep ones like theirs, and I bet other women would recognize themselves in these two and their relationship much more. The frank vagina talk and the fact that Molly and Amy are actually really self-assured and even pretty damn well-liked are just super freakin’ cool anyways. In particular I LOVE the way they’re still dorky, in a way I so rarely see female characters allowed to be because female characters written by dudes tend to be so poised and “above” the main male protagonist (probably because the screenwriters are thinking back to their own high-school crushes, who must’ve seemed so mature and unattainable to a nerdy teenage boy). 

It goes back to what I said about this being an affectionate, feel-good movie where everyone turns out to be pretty decent in the end. It doesn’t set out to be much more than that, and I’m not sure if I wanted it to be, but I think it’s that fact they didn’t go all out that keeps it from being a 10/10 for me. It’s just very sweet and knowing and funny and always making sure to laugh with these oddball kids, but that same gentleness keeps it from being something great; it’s like you need some claws to expose something “real”.

It’s a little strange to me, for example, that the movie dishes out a lot of high-school tropes — all the kids are playful representatives of some stereotype — but doesn’t seem to have any real bullies, and happily accepts the two not-very-outcasted outcasts at the party with open arms. And the girls each get their heart crushed, but only for like five minutes before they (tbqh) each get an upgrade. Every Gen Z tribe gets represented — from the failing stoner who actually has an offer from Google to the misunderstood school slut to poor Jared, my sweet beautiful mess of an unloved richboy — in this kind of Glee grab-bag kinda way, but without Glee’s sense that what ties us all together is this fucking shared suffering called high school; Booksmart’s high school is more like a utopia where everyone wears what they want and gets to be quirky and different and much cooler than you think in their own individualistic way. (They even have Jessica Williams as a teacher! UGH, so jelly.)

There’s something that’s actually really subversive about this, because 1) no one’s a villain and 2) to the extent that Molly and Amy are unpopular, it’s kinda brought on by themselves. *They* were the ones who chose never to hang out with the other kids, because studying was more important. *They* are the ones who have to learn something. Molly was the one who judged everyone by the school they got into, even as the others never gave a shit about it. Amy came out two years ago, but the reason she’s never had a kiss isn’t so much because she’s a lesbian, but because she’s too timid and unassertive as a person. Molly’s character arc is discovering that she’s too freaking judgey and she needs to stop assuming she knows everything from the cover, Amy’s is to realize herself as her own person outside of the (admittedly powerful) centrifugal force of her best friend. 

Those are GREAT ideas for arcs, it’s just that the execution of them didn’t completely land for me — maybe because the jokes were competing so much with the serious bits for screentime, it had to scramble at the end for the moment of character growth. So it didn’t feel fully “earned” to me, even as it worked on the thematic level of truly seeing people when you aren’t blinded by your own assumptions. 

Still, it’s a really satisfying movie with a different take on a common trope, and packed with killer lines and secondary characters like Jared that are just so great (he’s one that feels especially on-point to me because I recognize one of my old classmates in him — a great kid, just… swimming through life in a different lane). The cameos by the adult actors — Jessica Williams, Lisa Kudrow, Jason Sudeikis, Will Forte — were predictably fantastic. In fact all the acting and casting was SO GOOD (I found out later that the casting director was the one who did Freaks and Geeks!). I’m impressed by Olivia Wilde in her directorial debut here, it’s clear that she has an ear for comedic beats and some of the shots were wonderful — in a lot of comedies the camera is just kinda static and it’s all talking heads, but here the angles, the POV shots, the longer takes that move in and out of sound add so much dynamism. Excited for what she does next.

[t--o--f--u-blog]

☼☼☼☼☼ also think tank a white lecturer using the n-word when quoting literature in a lecture? I think she used it once outside of quotation as well certainly not meant in a disrespectful way, just seems unnecessary

☐☐☐☐☐ better have a justification at least but if you just use it out of the blue it always seems like some attempt at provocation 'i can say this because my interests are purely academic'

☼☼☼☼☼ mmmmm we're reading uncle tom's cabin, so it's hard to avoid

☐☐☐☐☐ should only be quoted verbatim if absolutely necessary, if there's no alternative I think

☼☼☼☼☼ yeah seems like she could have avoided it pretty easily

☐☐☐☐☐ if she's making no acknowledgement of the word's relationship to her privilege, that's rly not good

☼☼☼☼☼ yeah she's older so there might just be an outdated perspective there 'I'm just quoting the text, it was anti-slavery so I'm fine' sort of mentality maybe?

☐☐☐☐☐ still she would know about the contemporary attitude to the word and she should at least mention that! ugh like it doesn't sound malicious or super super racist, but eh

☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah I feel iffffy about it

☐☐☐☐☐ should mention it!

☼☼☼☼☼ Trying to work out if I should send email and if so how to word it

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ be interesting to actually properly discuss it

☐☐☐☐☐ yep

☍☍☍☍☍ heck I’d be interested to know more of a history of the word basically teach properly why its offensive

☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah, I might bring it up in the tutorial different teacher, but maybe good discussion

☐☐☐☐☐ mm that seems appropriate i'd love to hear how that goes

☍☍☍☍☍ uhhh there was someone who used it at Bar Oussou  the host reallllly should’ve said something and I normally would but just too tired for confrontation

☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah ☐☐☐☐☐ was telling me Sounded very cringe

☐☐☐☐☐ v unfortunate most disappointed in yhe host tbh

☐☐☐☐☐ he maybe had a old-worldy attitude to it and didn't mind or was too cowardly lol which do u think?

☍☍☍☍☍ I think he thought it was in the context of the poem she didn’t use it to degrade someone directly, but the word itself is degrading

☐☐☐☐☐ ugh but the poem is in the context of fuckin oussou yep ppl need to have a think before using words

☍☍☍☍☍ I just think its great to have a stage to do emotional work, but it can cross a line into normalising shitty white behaviour

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ I went to a coloured school so I can’t b racist wah wah wah

☐☐☐☐☐ and you have to consider your audience if your rant is dehumanising or brushes aside/causes suffering u gotta reconsider felt pretty ashamed on behalf of bartender/various black audience members not saying that dumb white shit would be acceptable with a different audience, but her obliviousness was kinda astounding

☼☼☼☼☼ wow yeah cringefest

☍☍☍☍☍ lol spoken word scene as a whole can b so lame haha rings true to why I/we left

☐☐☐☐☐ mm so macho! that's what I liked about talkbox some sensitivity there, gentleness

☍☍☍☍☍ still, I just wish people read more lok *lol

☐☐☐☐☐ yep I wish I read more

☍☍☍☍☍ like the stylistic range is generally pretty lame

☐☐☐☐☐ I guess that's why anyone reads mmm

☍☍☍☍☍ I wish I read more too

☐☐☐☐☐ hahahaha

☼☼☼☼☼ :')

☍☍☍☍☍ don’t mean to shit on everyon, I just think the scene as a whole and the conception of poetry is lacklustre - it doesn’t seem like the time for poetry, sometimes

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ ppl too distracted by netflix uwu sounds like phones but too much

☐☐☐☐☐ doesn't seem like the time for art, sometimes! hahhh

☍☍☍☍☍ its definitely a time for music

☼☼☼☼☼ I think there's a place for poetry It's just raps and memes

☍☍☍☍☍ yeh but I play dat long game there might not b a place now but I’mma fkn make one whether you like it or not lol

☼☼☼☼☼ Oh yeah fair go 4 it

☐☐☐☐☐ loll

☍☍☍☍☍ I just mean that I think 'poetry' has evolved into other forms, and now the traditional form is struggling to find a place I mean does anyone pay attention to Victorian satirical cartoons? I don’t I think it’s also tho that the low brow is more apparent in the moment, the high brow more apparent from a distance the shit sinks, basically

☼☼☼☼☼ elaborate?

☍☍☍☍☍ time brings forward higher brow material while a lot of lower brow stuff falls back or like there’s an art for getting through your days, and there’s an art for elaborate long form spiritual liberation

☼☼☼☼☼ so u don't mind about a lack of audience now if your work has staying power?

☍☍☍☍☍ different works have different digestion time and yes that is what I’m saying

☼☼☼☼☼ hmmmmmmm

☍☍☍☍☍ hmmmmmmmm?

☐☐☐☐☐ personally I don't know whether I'm prioritising the reception of my work or its value to me right now i feel poetry/art in general are useful tools for thinking about the world useful philosophical tools i guess and idk whether i'm learning for the sake of my own knowledge/making 'better' art or learning so what I put out into the world is better received I suppose the two aren't mutually exclusive but yeah - feeling fairly indifferent to the idea of creating work that will persist right now part of me feels more comfortable with being lost forever lol or at least that I should become comfortable with that, bc that is what will happen inevitably

☍☍☍☍☍ I just think in this atmosphere of complete denial of the arts as an important component of society, as well as the stigmatisation of ritual and other mystical practices that used to house what we now might describe as an artist, its important that we follow our intuition rather than give in to a system that routinely prevents us having access to basic resources like I want to be there for whoever is there when this period comes to end and those peoples are looking for anything to rudder them, whether or not I’m alive

☐☐☐☐☐ you want to add to the cultural record?

☍☍☍☍☍ I want provide a map for future generations is how I would put it

☐☐☐☐☐ mm how do you feel one can ensure the persistence of their own work? or are you just hoping it'll be around for others I suppose whether or not anything lasts is out of ur control past a certain point

☍☍☍☍☍ for one I make an effort to give away a lot of work

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ I also store it all and make sure that that stockpile is kept w care but I also think there’s something to be said that I try and operate within many pre-existing canons I also it’s important to use the more meme-y, short stay work to bring attention to the slower works yeah, re: canons, like tanka and before that wakka as poetic forms stem back as far as a thousand years - perhaps more by putting myself in conversation with the ancients... idk it feels a bit like entering a cultural refrigerator haha

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ sometimes I find it better to see my individual works as modules that make up a whole more prescient than its parts (Morton lolz) soo... maybe my work won’t carry the same weight until I finish, so to speak who knowsss but this how I think about it lol

☐☐☐☐☐ best to try and contribute something I spose rather than do nothing w ur resources

☍☍☍☍☍ I’m weird with this shit u don’t have to be

☐☐☐☐☐ mm it seems fairly simple to me and not that weird

☍☍☍☍☍ not everyone should spend their life tending their gravestone it’s a job for a particular type of person, and I am it

☐☐☐☐☐ but in a sense everyone does anyway everyone does things with the future in mind or without it in mind I suppose

☐☐☐☐☐ and i guess that influences what you leave when you die eheh, whether you do it consciously or unconsciously

☍☍☍☍☍ I just am particularly stubborn that I have something to offer - I think its partially a result of being denied that a lot in school, I found other ways to have social bonds that were more... non linear bonds with past peoples, and inadvertently bonds with future people

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ I find it frustrating that its seen as arrogant to suggest your work should be read after you die - if anything its remarkably humble as I'm acknowledging that I will never properly see the fruits of my labour it's a ridiculously isolating position to find oneself in, where your best friends - books, music, content - have no form of human intimacy with you and completely defy all survivalistic, lizard-brain humanity plus you're just on a total different dimension from most people you meet

☐☐☐☐☐ mm you're in a very specific position here

☍☍☍☍☍ lol goodluck catching up ☼☼☼☼☼

☼☼☼☼☼ unrelated btw

(☼☼☼☼☼ posts a meme in chat)

☍☍☍☍☍ see y'all @ da rally (in reference to the meme)

☐☐☐☐☐ where and when is this? oh oops thought you meant a real one

☼☼☼☼☼ hahaha

☍☍☍☍☍ xD

☼☼☼☼☼ structurally is the meme ok ? took the photo the other day, and just added the text.

☍☍☍☍☍ yes are u going to weigh in on the conversation tho lol

☼☼☼☼☼ nah not really

☍☍☍☍☍ meme fine

☼☼☼☼☼ I have so little to add

☍☍☍☍☍ well hm why make memes? why not write novel? do memes have staying power?

☐☐☐☐☐ it's a question of what timescale is important to you at any given time maybe

☍☍☍☍☍ oh absolutely - not trying to infer a hierarchy here, I just think there are different approaches for different problems

☐☐☐☐☐ sometimes I'll say something to someone so they'll remember it for tomorrow, sometimes I'll say something to someone and hope they'll remember forever lol mm I don't think I care about staying power that much

☐☐☐☐☐ memes have such a short lifetime, they're like cultural mayflies haha

☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah defs

☍☍☍☍☍ why tho lol

☼☼☼☼☼ Because the art itself can date while still inspiring change

☍☍☍☍☍ yeah so using it pragmatically like a single use tissue

☼☼☼☼☼ If you create something short lived, it (with the help of other artists producing similar work) is able to push art and society in a specific direction The butterfly effect I guess

☍☍☍☍☍ it's true that you have more effect in the current conversation

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ but that conversation draws intensively on a language formed by the ancients so the two are dependent on each other, a back and forth

☐☐☐☐☐ and that's dependent on their work's longevity?

☍☍☍☍☍ not following ur question

☐☐☐☐☐ not following your point haha hmm

☼☼☼☼☼ so you're suggesting a works longevity is crucial in that it helps reinforce and update the ancient language in which short term work of the future will be influenced by?

☐☐☐☐☐ mm also - what if of all the work you make, it's only a meme that survives the passage of time?

☍☍☍☍☍ basically... like you're just reiterating points that have been made more in depth in 'higher' brow culture - that's definitely how I feel when writing raps

☐☐☐☐☐ like Roman graffiti surviving on the walls or whatever

☍☍☍☍☍ did you a hear copy of the I Ching, the Chinese numerology classic more than a thousand years old, was found in the 70s and had a heap more sections and a different order? effectively completely changing the understanding of the I Ching gotta get those nice lead storage chambers ayyyyy ahahaha it was found buried in a coffin, obvs haha

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ a lot of Chinese philosophers only exist in so much as someone else described them

☼☼☼☼☼ But what does that changing of contexts of that piece actually mean for us? Is updated Ching from the coffin helping us in any way?

☍☍☍☍☍ I think for me finding the I Ching and looking over it is like a person in a thousand years finding a functional iPhone it gives great insight into human impulses regardless of time and offers a way of writing the past a new, which in turn presents a new future (thinking of the cowboy article you sent me) reconceptualizing the past IS the future look at 'Make America Great Again' or calls to restore the caliphate both are founded on histories that have more to do with our current state than the actual happenings of the past

☼☼☼☼☼ I do see where you're coming from I like the idea that it's important to preserve our work for understand the past better And I hope that someone in the future will have a clearer understanding of our time through your well preserved works But what fucking future is it

☍☍☍☍☍ haha but like looking back we see people been asking that for a veeery long time I get it seems on a new scale but we're on a new scale too

☼☼☼☼☼ It does seem that yes Also if we do survive and keep on teching on

☍☍☍☍☍ I'm for an integration of the human/natural binary where we properly acknowledge our mutual codependency, the earth and humanity that is

☼☼☼☼☼ Are we even going to be translatable? Is the functioning iPhone found by the future person going to even be able to be translated? Or will it be meaningless because everyone is already part of the grid

☍☍☍☍☍ where artificially effecting the climate for the benefit of 'nature' isn't seen as strange but completely akin to Aboriginal burn back practices

☐☐☐☐☐ i guess it's productive to hope that it will be translatable

☍☍☍☍☍ we've always interfered in the running of nature

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ ehhh idk we translated fucking hieroglyphics

☼☼☼☼☼ Or future tech can look into the past and someone is watching our lives as we type this now, constantly being understood through our context in a way we can't comprehend through our recording processes shrugs

☍☍☍☍☍ I mean yeah, imagine if the internet was even vaguely archived

☼☼☼☼☼ You probably have a better understanding of how the future will pan out than I do tho

☍☍☍☍☍ even if 0.1 % was kept, it would be a massive resource

☼☼☼☼☼ No sass intended there, I'm sincere

☍☍☍☍☍ lol idk I just try to see a bigger picture and it keeps me calm remember me old saying? we survived the plague and nukes lol

☼☼☼☼☼ I just don't see the issue with creating short term work, especially if it is preserved

☍☍☍☍☍ oh neither do I

☼☼☼☼☼ Like a meme may have more impact than a novel rn

☐☐☐☐☐ well it could be argued that we're yet to survive nukes but I see your point impact on various timescales

☼☼☼☼☼ I've heard the plague make be thinking of making a comeback too haha

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ oh duh peasantry is fully hip rn

☐☐☐☐☐ but like

☍☍☍☍☍ bring back the boils, they look great with my Balenciaga sneakers

☐☐☐☐☐ lol bubonic chic

☼☼☼☼☼ Pretty close to heroin chic tbh haha

☍☍☍☍☍ not jking that was tb

☐☐☐☐☐ but like, I don't find a huge amount of solace in the fact that we survived the plague

☍☍☍☍☍ "The Victorians romanticized the disease and the effects it caused in the gradual build to death. For decades, many beauty standards emulated or highlighted these effects. And as scientists gained greater understanding of the disease and how it was spread, the disease continued to keep its hold on fashion. and the severity of the corsets was known to harm the lungs in such a way that would increase the likelihood of transmission LOOOL

☐☐☐☐☐ mm Balenciaga look out idk it's a question of what capacity we survive in

☼☼☼☼☼ lollllll

☐☐☐☐☐ quite depressing to think about

☍☍☍☍☍ eating disorders have a pretense

☐☐☐☐☐ what if ecocide leaves a few insular eco fascist regimes who gradually diminish over centuries always engaged in pointless wars of attrition with one another lol

☍☍☍☍☍ I mean you could probably say the same thing of colonial regimes now

☐☐☐☐☐ just because we can survive, doesn't mean my outlook should b at all rosy :((

☍☍☍☍☍ point is its a big ol' world that has plenty of room for pain AND love any future pain you think is imminent probably already is happening, and nonetheless breakfast tasted good this morning

☼☼☼☼☼ 'The hipster middle class would dress with raggedy beards and large jackets and refuse to use deodorant, perhaps to reflect the look of people suffering from homelessness at the time. It is suspected that this made them less likely to be hired, and therefore more likely to become homeless themselves.'  ☍☍☍☍☍ ahahaha

☐☐☐☐☐ mm that's true hahhh

☼☼☼☼☼ Planning on making this into a full essay. Might not be popular now, but I think it has staying power? Soz for shitposting haha

☍☍☍☍☍ I was talking with ☲☲☲☲☲ a while back, and something struck me - she said, "I never thought this age would have its own fleet of particular medical conditions." (or something like that lol, translated via my nerd brain)

☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah that didn't quite sound like her But that sentiment is great

☍☍☍☍☍ 'fleet'

☼☼☼☼☼ In that ofc there is, but also wow yeah ofc!

☐☐☐☐☐ mmm hahh these conversations should be recorded so we can all think about em without scrolling up endlessly

☼☼☼☼☼ I do like the idea of people reading these works in the future tho

☐☐☐☐☐ and also so that they can be preserved for 10,000+ years of course

☼☼☼☼☼ In the same way we read the letters sent between dead artists now

☐☐☐☐☐ mm very true

☍☍☍☍☍ mmm

☐☐☐☐☐ messenger is not a particularly stable storage medium and also is more vulnerable to third party scrutiny although the fact we're reading artists letters now means that medium is also pretty fucking vulnerable to scrutiny lol

☍☍☍☍☍ I fucking found the word! (sorry was searching for it so hard) Neurasthenia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurasthenia

☼☼☼☼☼ Americanitis lol

☍☍☍☍☍ uhh the page doesn't rly talk about this, but its like a condition of over-working effectively, and people would try and get prescribed the pills to treat it as a way of signalling they were a dedicated worker its total hokey

☐☐☐☐☐ wow yeah you mentioned this a while back

☼☼☼☼☼ oh I've heard a similar thing in Japan were workers will pretend to fall asleep at their desks to show how hard they're working No idea the trust behind it tho

☍☍☍☍☍ to this day, "In Japan, shinkei-suijaku is treated with Morita therapy involving mandatory rest and isolation, followed by progressively more difficult work, and a resumption of a previous social role. The diagnosis is sometimes used as a disguise for serious mental illnesses such as schizophrenia and mood disorders." a dignified mental illness uwu none of that lower class shit I'm a classy fuck with money, I don't get the same mental conditions as the poor lolol reminds me of now: I don't have shitty parents, I just have adhd (not to deligitimise all uses of adhd, just over diagnosed)

☼☼☼☼☼ mmmmm i feel u yes this has been a wild ride

☍☍☍☍☍ yes I’m leaving to get late lunch uwu have a good day in this cosmic spider web lololol

☼☼☼☼☼ :')

☍☍☍☍☍ Like the burning of this charcoal fire, our years too will soon expire Kobayashi Issa listening to Krista Tippet talk with Maria Popova, this particular phrase resonated with our conversation: we live in a world where disruption over-fetishised; we need cultural stewardship to help along new waves of disruption

☼☼☼☼☼ How would u define cultural stewardship in a practical sense?

☍☍☍☍☍ caring for the legacy of those past as a means of refreshing their insight for a new age a very straightforward example would b the importance of new translations, in this regard - as our understanding and depth of connection to Japanese society has deepened, so too have our translations dusting off the books so to speak in some sense I see that in our music too or reappropriating to a new context

☼☼☼☼☼ Well remasters are a time terry literal example Fuck

☍☍☍☍☍ time terry

☼☼☼☼☼ Pretty* not time terry lol

☼☼☼☼☼ lime berry yeah exactly

☼☼☼☼☼ Slime Jerry

☍☍☍☍☍ I mean rereleasing is an obvs example mhm but more abstract examples are how I’ve exported into both your brains Bridle/Steyerl/Haraway via conversation and art lolol I’m helping it move from one place to another same w Zappa lol

☐☐☐☐☐ also - looking after artist friends being generous I feel these are acts of pre-emptive cultural stewardship

☍☍☍☍☍ haha yeah definitely different time scales it could function on

☐☐☐☐☐ looking after and maintain communities

☍☍☍☍☍ hosting open mics lol helping teach ppl poetry lollll

☐☐☐☐☐ not allowing hate speech to creep into open mics lol

☼☼☼☼☼ Truuuuu Or anywhere for that matter

☐☐☐☐☐ not becoming so dusty that you actually have a detrimental impact on cultural progression

☍☍☍☍☍ I think religions only exist in so far as they have active practitioners

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☼☼☼☼☼ Tru

☍☍☍☍☍ I think my sense is, in religion, this same argument plays out with orthodoxy versus mysticism Maintenance of buildings is in there too for religion People being assigned paid positions as the keepers and givers of religious knowledge oh yeah thinking a lot here of Shanzai, ☐☐☐☐☐, and the idea of an object as a lived practice

☐☐☐☐☐ when home I'm gonna do my best to archive this conversation mmm

☍☍☍☍☍ you’re going to steward our conversation bout stewardship ...

☐☐☐☐☐ this is all going in

☍☍☍☍☍ ...the tv where I am says “The comedian getting behind ‘Know Thy Nuts’” and there are big walnuts on the screen

☐☐☐☐☐ ???????

☍☍☍☍☍ “I didn’t realise chemotherapy would be such great comedic material!”

☐☐☐☐☐ ¿¿¿¿¿¿

☼☼☼☼☼ Huhhhh

☍☍☍☍☍ lol highly recommend https://itunes.apple.com/au/podcast/on-being-with-krista-tippett/id150892556?mt=2&i=1000429408054https://itunes.apple.com/au/podcast/on-being-with-krista-tippett/id150892556?mt=2&i=1000429408054

[terriblevalveartandocs]

About Valve OCs and the blog

This has been on my mind for a while.

This blog never got a satisfying end in my books, and I’m sure for other readers as well. Even though closure is a myth perpetuated by mainstream media, I will make this post to try to rectify past mistakes and general truancy of this blog. I have my own suspicions that most of my readers are dead (considering all of the porn bots are now starting to follow me), so I write this post in the darkness of the night into the void that is Tumblr. Read my cry if you care.

Firstly, this blog will never update again. There are multiple factors that have led to this blog’s extinction and I think they’re important to address

Motivation

This blog took up a large chunk of my life back when it was active. Don’t get me wrong, bad art still gets me to cringe and I find myself on occasion still pining over weird ocs and art styles on Deviantart. However, maintaining it as a blog with daily updates became a chore for me along with promising critiques of ocs and such. I’ve come to discover that I can’t do what I love as “””work”””. While bad art still remains a passion for me, I don’t see myself continuing this in blog format.

OCs have changed

The OC market has changed. Base art has definitely taken a downturn in the past few years and you’re more likely to see people hand-drawing their ocs or writing them out. Thanks with the culture of memeing about bootleg fandom ocs (This is my own original character blonic, donut steels) , it seems that people are more drawn towards creating their own worlds and characters rather than shoving their mary sue into their current fan favorite content. These are good changes in terms of originality for artists and writers in my opinion.

However, a lot of the formats for OCs have changed as well. There tends to be an emphasis on their sexuality and race in OC culture now. I don’t consider that a bad thing but I’d rather not poke that hornet’s nest of gender identity and race of fictional characters. What used to be the standard straight, bi, gay has expanded into other territories that I am unfamiliar with and now we have more ocs outside of the standard white chick but with Japanese last name because the creator really likes naruto. Again, this just seems to be the trend and I think my last few revival posts kinda show them.

Valve as a games publisher

LOL when’s half life 3???

Valve has definitely moved from being a game developer to a digital distributor.  Steam definitely seems to be their focus outside of Hat/Weapon Skin collecting and online gambling (and also their weird consoles/controllers???). Not that I would continue this blog if they released more content (They published another update to the TF2 comic, can’t wait for that to get updated in a year).

Along with this slump of their own original content, this has led to a slump in original characters for their franchises. There are not as many fan ocs and art isn’t being produced for their franchises (except maybe with comic updates for TF2 and nostalgia for old games).

This blog was created at the optimal time imo with L4D2 still being fresh, TF2 still having an active userbase, and Portal 2 giving some great content in terms of creative material.

Also I’m not interested in reviewing Dota 2 art and I don’t think there are enough Counterstrike ocs.

Negativity

I don’t know if this blog was a source of positive or negative energy. On one hand, I was ridiculing people’s art without much hesitation and not acknowledging how much time and effort that might have been put in by the artist. But on the other hand, it provided laughs for people during its duration and gave me a creative outlet in terms of humor, arguments, and writing. I think I did my best to avoid any harassment for these artists by removing any watermarks that might lead any rude reader to them, but I’ll never know if they suffered any bullying. Obviously I’m not going to put this on my resume as work experience but I like to think that this blog help think critically about their content, regardless of what role you played on the blog be it me, a submitter, an observer, or the subject. Maybe if some supreme being questions why I started this blog in the afterlife, I can tell them I did it for the lolz.

In the end, I think I did more harm than any general good for the world and nobody will really understand that weird pain if I try to repent for it publicly. I don’t know of any key examples of this (or really remember because I haven’t done this shit in years), but I do apologize if I ruined anyone’s ambitions for writing/drawing.

I’m glad there is a stronger hugbox mentality for artists who aren’t very good and I embrace that style of encouragement. I guess my only concern is veering too far into that and just embracing everything as perfect and awesome and never improving. Criticism has its place in society.

Perhaps the real lesson is that who the hell gives a shit about what you post on the internet. Why should you give a stranger any control over how much your art is worth? However, this also gives the argument into determining if any of your art is worth anything based on your preconceived notions on your art’s merits since you are only a stranger to me. Why should you tell me that your art is valid and equal to anything else produced when it looks like you drew it with your tablet pen stuck up your ass?

Maybe we all just need to learn to stop giving invisible voices the power to ruin our emotional states and work on our self satisfaction.

Growing up????

I wrote most of this blog like a million years ago. It was a stronger part of my identity and a part of a community in a way of similar blogs in the same style. But I don’t really relate to the content as much I used to. Valve games are still near and dear to me, but they’re more nostalgic than my current flame and muse. I feel the same happened to other blogs in the same vein as mine. Perhaps also age and the changes of time led to our own focuses in our own lives than looking at the scribbles of some stranger on the internet. While it’s still one of my internet past times, it is not my main focus in life to critique bad art (unless it starts paying serious dosh). I just don’t relate to the words and passions anymore. In a way, this is my own cringe that artists produce when they’re young on Deviantart. It’s kind of funny in a weird way.

This blog will continue to remain up but I’ll probably move into another blog of some sort (I accidentally made this my primary blog and I can’t delete it). It sort of became my main lurking blog and I guess its time that I make a less weird not ghost blog (I’m probably confusing a lot of the people that I follow with my constant hearts and comments).

I guess I wanna say thanks for all of the people who followed this blog and its contents. I probably wouldn’t have continued for very long without followers so you’re all to blame for this negative impact I’ve made on the world (jkjk). I like to think we’re connected with our mutual spirit in improving how we create things and wanting to see improvement in others. I think this blog helped me see the dumbest of things and not be afraid to say it was dumb and I hope it did for you as well. I also hope it brought you laughs in the content that was displayed or the humor I attempted to convey. It did genuinely warm my heart whenever I got a heart, reply, reblog, or messages to keep up the work. It kind of makes me sad to think that I left rather abruptly, but better blogs have died quicker and quieter. Simple fact of life really. Thank god my ego keeps me in check to constantly remind people of my existence.

To any artists out there, bad art is a fact of life. You do not come out of the womb knowing how to do two point perspective and 3d shapes. You mess up doing 3d shapes each any every time until you get it and then move on to the next thing you’re not good at. There’s a common TIL leddit post about how Michaelangelo burnt all of his old works so nobody would know how bad he was when he was starting out. I don’t know how true that is, but that’s not a great mentality to have for your art. Seeing that bridge between your former self and current self is important for seeing self growth in your skills. Plus you won’t have those juicy likes and comments on instagram when you do the art redraw and show how far you come like how can you skimp on that you dingus.

All of the great content creators right now love showing off the shitty art they did as kids because it gives them a sense of progress in their work and their accomplishments and continues to drive them in their own works. (unless you’re rebecca sugar and drew ed edd and eddy shipping porn lol). Heck, some of them even take the stuff that was once cliche characters and expanded on them in their own Original Universe Donut Steel. And thanks to their own Original Universe Donut Steel, now tens of thousands of impressionable young artists can look at it and say “that’s awesome, but it would be way better if there was my own character...”.

OCs are weirdly one of the ultimate ways of fan expression where you enjoy the content so much you wish you were part of it. Even though it’s very disjointed and out of place, it’s usually done in a place of love for the franchise or the characters. So for those of you that are doing that still, keep at it I guess.

Fan art is sorta in the same way where you enjoy something so much that you want to replicate the style/themes/characters in your own or the content’s style. While not as extreme, it’s still in the same place of love and people generally like that more than original shit anyways so continue to make it so I can buy your posters at anime conventions without supporting the original creator lol. 

If you want to harass me further for my sins against budding artists, I guess I’ll link my personal blog if anyone actually asks me. I also wrote this at 3 am so it is extremely unedited and awful but it’s the most “pure” for my usual diatribe. Consider it my first OC for the blog.

Good night, good life, and farewell.

[brido]

In Defense of Sammy Sosa

I never loved Sammy Sosa. I just want to be clear about that from the get-go. My favorite player growing up was Andre Dawson. And I used to have to defend that choice, even to other Cubs fans who favored Ryne Sandberg and Mark Grace. But Dawson was always my guy. Then to see Sosa come in, play the same position and completely eclipse everything Dawson ever did was almost personal to me. Like, the right field bleachers is doing the ‘salami’ to Sosa? That was Andre’s Army! I almost felt a sense of betrayal.  

On top of an unnecessary personal loyalty to Dawson, I felt like the Great Home Run Chase of 1998 brought out a bandwagon element to the Cubs that I was uncomfortable embracing. And I thought all the anticipation over Sosa’s home runs made fans at Wrigley stupid - cheering for any ball hit into the air, only to get faked out by easy fly balls. Cubs fans got a bad rap for being drunken idiots who didn’t know the game, didn’t follow the game and were just there to be morons. I heard it all the time from Cardinals fans and White Sox fans. And I hated that it was at least partially true.  

Here’s the thing though: none of that is Sosa’s fault. He didn’t make new fans stupid or tell them to get drunk at the ballpark. Hell, a lot of that was the culture of the park, the culture of the city and the fact that every national broadcast of a Cubs game from 1982-1997 was announced by a beloved grandfatherly figure who also happened to be slurring every word by the 7th inning. I mean, I’ve been drunk at Wrigley Field a number of times. I love that park. I love that city. I loved being drunk there. And I loved Harry Caray too. At least in hindsight. So why not try to love Sosa?

Before I start naming the reasons to not love Sosa that I assume you’re probably thinking of, let me remind you as much as I need to remind myself; There were many times Sammy Sosa made you happy. REALLY happy. I mean, those bleacher bums in right kinda had a point. And so did the bandwagon dipshits. Sosa was pretty goddamn exciting sprinting out to right and doing the pop-and-hop after he crushed one onto Waveland. There was also the playful way he tapped his chest and blew kisses to the camera. He gave us June of ’98, when he hit 20 home runs in a month, which is an all-time record. And that home run chase was actually fucking great. The whole country got swept up in it, no matter how clouded it seems now in 20/20 hindsight. And it could be argued that the ’98 season helped to erase the memory of the ’94 strike and put the game back in the good graces of the fans.  

There was also the American flag home run in the first game at Wrigley after 9/11. And the two-run home run in the bottom of the 9th in Game 1 of the NLCS in 2003. Yeah, that series isn’t fun to think about now, but Sosa hit .308/.455/.577 in those seven NLCS games. So you can blame Steve Bartman or Alex Gonzalez or anybody else until the cows come home. But nobody in their right mind can blame Sosa.   

Okay. Now that we reminded ourselves how happy he made us, we can go further into just how good he was. 

Sosa was the best player on the Cubs (in terms of fWAR) from 1994-1996 and then from 1998-2002. He didn’t really qualify in ’92. Grace was better in ’93 and ‘97. Moises Alou surpassed him in 2003. And we’ll get to 2004. But during his overall time in Chicago, Sosa was almost twice as good as the next best player (Grace) in Wins Above Replacement. If you go off of Bill James’ Superstar accomplishments list, it breaks down like this…

1993. Member of the 30/30 Club (33 home runs and 36 stolen bases). 4.1 WAR.  

1994. .545 SLG. .300 AVG. 

1995. Member of the 30/30 Club (36 home runs and 34 stolen bases). 119 RBI. .500 SLG. 5.3 WAR.    

1996. 40 home runs. 100 RBI. .564 SLG. 5.4 WAR.    

1997. 36 home runs. 119 RBI.  

1998. He briefly held the single-season home run record. Named the National League MVP. Led the league in RBI (158). Led the league in Runs scored (134). 66 home runs. .647 SLG. 6.5 WAR. .308 AVG.        

1999. 63 home runs. Started in the All-Star Game. 141 RBI. 114 Runs. .635 SLG. 4.8 WAR.      

2000. Led the league in Home Runs (50). .406 OBP. Started in the All-Star Game. 138 RBI. 106 Runs. .634 SLG. 5.7 WAR. .320 AVG.      

2001. Led the league in RBI (160). Led the league in Runs scored (146). 64 home runs. That made him the only player in history with three seasons of 60 home runs. .437 OBP. Started in the All-Star Game. .737 SLG. 10.3 WAR. .328 AVG.      

2002. Led the league in Runs scored (122). Led the league in Home Runs (49). Started in the All-Star Game. 108 RBI. .594 SLG. 5.7 WAR.       

2003. 40 home runs.  103 RBI. .553 SLG.  

2004. 35 home runs. Started in the All-Star Game. .517 SLG.   

Boy, look at all that selfish play. James ranks him as a bona fide superstar from 1998-2003. He hit more home runs over a 5-year period and over a 10-year period than any other player in Major League history. He’s the all-time Cubs leader in home runs (545). Of the 10 players with the most-comparable stats, 9 (Jim Thome, Mike Schmidt, Reggie Jackson, Ken Griffey Jr., Harmon Killebrew, Eddie Mathews, Mickey Mantle, Willie Stargell and Willie McCovey) are in the Hall of Fame. He was Sports Illustrated’s co-Sportsman of the Year in 1998. And, not for nothing, Bill Clinton invited him as his guest to the 1999 State of the Union address, where he sat in between Hillary Clinton and Tipper Gore and was one seat over from Rosa Parks.     

Advanced stats tell a slightly different story than the standard ones do. If you look at Sosa only in terms of WAR, he basically only had two elite seasons (1998 and 2001) and JAWS ranks him as the 18th-greatest right fielder of all time, below the average standards for the position amongst Hall of Famers (which are higher standards than any other position, anyway due to Babe Ruth, Hank Aaron and Stan Musial having played in right) and behind non-Hall players like Larry Walker, Shoeless Joe Jackson, Dwight Evans and Reggie Smith. 

However, Sosa’s peak (WAR7) is right above the average for all 25 hall of famers at the position. Which isn’t nothing. He’s also 5th all-time in WAR for all Cubs players (behind Cap Anson, Ron Santo, Ernie Banks and Ryne Sandberg, but ahead of Billy Williams) and the Hall of Stats site puts him in their Hall of Fame, considers him the 16th-best right fielder of all time (one spot behind Dawson, which I don’t mind) and the 6th-greatest Cub of all time (behind Anson, Santo, Sandberg, Banks and Gabby Hartnett).      

Okay. Now that we reminded you how happy he made you, and how he ranks as an all-time great, especially an all-time great Cub, we can talk about some of the negatives. 

In 2003, Sosa got caught with a corked bat. Fine. I probably don’t need to find a physicist to tell you how corking a modern bat doesn’t really do anything besides make it lighter. But the league already disciplined Sosa for that and, in the process, examined 76 of his bats and found nothing else. Maybe it was an honest mistake. Maybe he doctored one bat for batting practice, thinking it did anything. And then maybe he accidentally used it in a game. So what? How that negates everything I’ve already listed above is beyond me. The corked bat should be a nonissue. 

Now we can talk about 2004. At the end of the disappointing 2004 season (where the Cubs actually won one more game than than their previous NLCS-bound season), Sosa showed up late to the final home game, asked to sit out the game, never even dressed for that game and then went home early. He claimed he didn’t leave until the 7th inning, but security footage showed him leaving shortly after the start of the game. Then one of his teammates (rumored to be Kerry Wood, Paul Bako or Todd Walker) smashed his salsa-blaring boombox, which apparently sent the message to the organization that his teammates wanted him gone. Or that they hated him for playing the same CD every day. Either way, the Cubs shipped Sosa off to Baltimore in January, to make for a pretty inauspicious ending to his pretty spectacular tenure in Chicago. 

So maybe Sosa shouldn’t have done all that in 2004. And he probably shouldn’t have criticized manager, Dusty Baker the next day either. But he and Baker patched it up pretty quickly during the offseason. And Sosa has since apologized for everything and even paid a $87,500 fine for the incident. And listen, that season was frustrating for everyone involved. Especially when the long-suffering Cubs had gotten so close the year before. Sosa, who had suffered bizarre injuries and slumped for large portions of the season, felt like he was taking the brunt of the blame for his team’s failures. He also felt humiliated by being dropped to 6th in the order by Baker. There are better ways it could have been handled. But fans booing his image at the Cubs Convention the following winter is just as fucking petty.   

Look, those were really dark times for the Cubs fanbase. And I mean downright ugly. I cringe even thinking about the way the Wrigley Field fans treated Bartman during Game 6 the previous year. I cringe thinking about those fans during the NLDS in 2008 after Ryan Dempster gave up the grand slam to James Loney in the 5th inning of Game 1. And I think it took multiple years and a major cultural change in the organization before it even started to get better. 

But don’t tell me Sosa walked out on the fans. He walked out on Dusty Baker. And you don’t even like Dusty Baker. It was a meaningless game the Cubs won 10-8 anyway. Nobody can honestly tell me they still give a fuck about that game. And you also don’t give a shit about the precious Cubs fan base. Especially not after the way you treated Bartman. Oh, look at us, the precious Cubs fans! We wanted to kill one of our own just because he was easiest to scapegoat for all our hurt feelings and years of frustration.  

I think the reality of the situation is that Sosa came to symbolize an era of dashed hopes and futility to the bandwagon contingent, too fickle to deserve calling themselves Cubs fans to begin with. If you hate frustration and futility, as a Cubs fan, you can also hate Ernie Banks, Fergie Jenkins, Billy Williams, Greg Maddux, Ryne Sandberg and any other Cubs player who was unfortunate enough to play for that team during the miserable 108-year drought.   

And we still haven’t talked about steroids. 

Fine. During a time the Cubs fanbase decided they hated Sosa, anyway, he appeared in those infamous Congressional hearings and had his lawyer read his incredibly vague statement for him due to English being his second language. You want to be mad about that? Cool. Do you know how much money the U.S. government wasted trying to catch Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens in a perjury case? Well, they came up with exactly nothing for all their efforts. And the same shit would have happened with Sosa too. 

His lawyer read his carefully worded statement in English. The statement left room for him to have technically taken steroids orally, in pill form, from a prescription from a doctor in the Dominican Republic. Sosa didn’t have to trip up on the wording in the hearing. And your tax dollars went to a road or a school instead. Or a war in the Middle East. Whatever. You get my point. 

Then there’s the 2009 article in the New York Times naming Sosa as one of the ‘anonymous’ players who tested positive for PED’s in 2003. Ugh. Do you know how many problems there are with citing that story as your reason Sosa did steroids? Okay sure, Doctor SuperFan, what drug did he do then? What was the source of the information? Can the test you’re citing distinguish between PEDs and over the counter, legal drugs? You have no earthly idea. 

And this was in the Wild West days of the league before they even had a PED policy, in an era of almost total complicity, from the fans and all the way up to the commissioner’s office. Sosa never actually failed a drug test. He was never actually disciplined by the league. And all you have is your eyeballs and the thoughts and opinions of other clueless fans who are also not biochemists, don’t really know how PED’s can even affect baseball performance, don’t know about Sosa’s dogged work with Jeff Pentland in the batting cages after the 1997 season, don’t even lift fucking weights to know how that works and probably still get a red ass over his corked bat for the same ignorant reasons.

Don’t get me wrong. He totally did steroids. 

But I can’t prove it. And either can your buddy from work or the four guys you know who still try to say Barry Bonds’ head got three times bigger or whatever. That’s my point. And by now you’ve already forgotten that Sammy Sosa, on several occasions, made you really, really fucking happy.   

So what else? What other anti-Sosa arguments could you possibly have? Tom Ricketts wants an apology from him? Tom Ricketts has $900 million. Why doesn’t Tom Ricketts apologize for the wage theft and economic scarcity that allows him to have that type of money in the first place (to paraphrase a meme I saw posted about Bruce Wayne one time). But talk about cheating. Dude is an investment banker. I don’t think he gets to star in his own morality play on this one.

Sosa put asses in seats for 13 years in Chicago. For the Tribune Company. He owes Tom Ricketts fuck all. Especially since Ricketts, like your buddy from work, can’t prove a goddamn thing about his PED use. He doesn’t have special information about it because he’s rich. Plus, the same phony-pearl-clutching, butt-hurt Ricketts allowed the Cubs to hire twice-busted steroid user, Manny Ramirez, as a hitting consultant in 2015 and 2016. That’s him in the photo above smiling like he didn’t get caught taking female fertility drugs in 2009. Meanwhile at the 100-year celebration at Wrigley Field, as well as the Cubs’ World Series celebrations, everyone had to pretend Sosa never existed, that he never did all the wonderful things he did for the team and that he never made you really, REALLY happy. The only thing Ricketts should be mad about is that he didn’t own the team when Sosa was making them millions in merchandise sales. Shut up, rich kid.    

As Cubs fans, it’s time we let all this shit go. Just like we let most of the rest of the old culture go. Thankfully, “That’s Cub” and other Maddonisms replaced the “Cubby Occurrences” of Lou Piniella or the frustrations of the Dusty Baker era. Or any other era, for that matter. We weathered the storm of Game 7 in 2016. Literally and figuratively, thanks to Jason Hayward. We watched Kris Bryant slip on the grass and throw a ball to Anthony Rizzo that could have easily sailed over his head, kept the inning going for Cleveland in the 10th and added to our collective list of miseries. But it somehow didn’t happen. The throw found its way to Rizzo’s glove. The Cubs won the goddamn World Series. They had a giant parade. Even Bartman got himself a ring. And I’m supposed to be mad that Sammy Sosa took a pill to make himself better at baseball over 14 years ago? Beat it, nerd. 

Barry Bonds is getting his number retired by the Giants later this year. Mark McGwire has been back in Major League dugouts. Roger Clemens has too. And his number 21 jersey hasn’t been used by the Red Sox since he left in 1996. Sammy Sosa had to hit his 600th career home run off of Jason Marquis, while Marqis was wearing Sosa’s rightful number 21 jersey for the fucking Cubs. How’s that for irony?  

Sosa’s already been punished long enough. They all have. Sosa isn’t getting into the Hall of Fame any time soon. He got less than 8% of the vote last year. In his 6th year on the ballot. And he’s basically been banished into baseball exile for over a decade like he was named an enemy of the people in some Stalin-esque purge.  It’s been 14 years. Contaminating food or water for terrorist purposes only gets you 10 years. Jesus Christ. 

But it doesn’t have to be this way. By now the Cubs can put the ugliness of the drought years behind them and actually honor a man who turned so many people at Wrigley into fans in the first place. 

Forgive Sammy Sosa, everyone. He took nothing from you. He only gave to you. And remember, he made you really, really happy. 

(Decide later if this was all just a trick so the Cubs also retire Dawson’s number and honor him with his own appreciation day... Since, you know, they can’t really do it honestly without taking care of Sosa first.)