#no but Victor's one is SO PERSONAL and mentions Reed by name because of course

[doomrichards]

Marvel Contest of Champions | Doctor Doom and Mister Fantastic

Leaving his tribe in Latveria, Victor Von Doom moved to the United States to study at the Empire State University where he combined sorcery and technology to create fantastic inventions. Disregarding the warnings of fellow classmate Reed Richards, one of his inventions malfunctioned resulting in an explosion that severely damaged his face. Expelled after the incident, Victor began traveling the world eventually collapsing exhausted, on a Tibetan mountainside where he was rescued by a clan of monks. Mastering their discipline and forging himself a suit of armor, Victor took on the mantle Doctor Doom, his mission to serve revenge on those he holds responsible for his accident. Reed Richards is a brilliant scientist, who spearheaded an experimental voyage into space accompanied by his friends and family. An accident occurred during the trip, and the ship was flooded with cosmic rays. After crashing back to Earth, Reed found that he could stretch and elongate his body in impossible ways. He became the leader of the Fantastic Four, and uses both his powers of elasticity and his genius intellect to deftly handle all threats, galactic to microscopic.

[ilguna]

Berceuse - Chapter One

summary: you can’t protect her forever.

warnings; swearing.

wc; 11.5k

NOTES; I give reader a last name to fit the world.

–

This year, Alyssum is the first to wake in the house. 

Typically, she’s one of the last to rise in the house, but as of recently, Alyssum’s been waking up in the middle of the night with sweat soaked sheets and a hollow feeling in her chest.

It’s always the same nightmare that does it to her, and without fail so far, she hasn’t been able to recall what it’s about. All she knows is that it’s nearly impossible for her to fall asleep after she wakes up. Today is no exception. 

She can’t blame it all on the nightmare, though. There’s another reason why she’s up so early, and it’s because this is the first year where she’s officially an eligible candidate for the Hunger Games.

That sentence alone is enough to send a chill down her spine.

She had a hard enough time trying to fall asleep last night, she swears it took her an hour of tossing and turning before she finally wore herself out. The nightmare really cut her a few hours shorter than she wishes. 

Still, when she catches a glance of herself in front of the mirror, she’s not able to detect a trace of sleep deprivation in her face and movements. It seems as if her body is thinking this is just a regular school day, forgetting that she hasn’t been in school for the past three days in preparation for today.

She’s not the only one, everyone who goes to the boarding school that you run was required to take the three days off for mandatory testing and evaluation. It’s only been recently instilled as of last year. It’s because of an incident regarding volunteer ages and the practicality of the boarding-school-trained tributes making it out of the arena alive.

And no, as far as Alyssum knows, it doesn’t have anything to do with Annie and her tribute counterpart. They were perfect candidates for the games and you had done the right thing by making the 70th games available to the seventeen and eighteen year-olds.

The problem started when the age was lowered to fifteen, it opened a discussion on whether or not it was appropriate because they’re still too young. Personally, Alyssum thinks that the age restrictions don’t have as much authority as they’re giving it.

Sure, it’s a rule that the boarding school has, but what’s really stopping the younger kids from volunteering if they feel like it? You and Finnick are still going to do your jobs, you have to mentor them anyway.

Of course, you’d already thought of it, and it’s one of the reasons why the mandatory evaluations were set up. It’s to test the capabilities of every student inside of the boarding school. The parents can get a proper assessment of their child’s improvements, and it also benefits the boarding school’s records.

Anyway, the three days off are the three days leading up to the reaping. It mostly focuses on physical and mental skills, like fighting and memorizing. It’s a thorough process, all of it being hands-on. The other victors, Annie, Luther and Scotch, come around to help speed up the process.

To keep it as accurate as possible, it was decided that students should be scored like how the gamemakers would if they were put in front of them. And since the gamemakers only score one skill, the victors do the same for each individual skill. At the very end of the third day, students are given their individual scores, and on top of that, an overall score.

Currently, Alyssum is sitting at an eight overall, which is better than the other twelve year-olds inside of the boarding school. If she hadn’t been enrolled in the boarding school since she was seven, she’s sure that it would be a different story. 

And it’s not like she started with the other children, either. She’s not the first kid that’s been allowed to train alongside the teenagers, but she was the first child to train in the older kids’ classes.

After only five years, she’s in the fifteen year-old class. Which is the first year that really introduces the weapon specialties. If she spends two years in this class—following the pattern of two years in each class, with the exception of the twelve year-old one—she’ll have mastered the weapons by the time she’s thirteen. 

That’s under the assumption that Alyssum survives this reaping.

As she begins to gather her outfit for today, she realizes what a stupid thought that is. Why wouldn’t she survive the reaping? Her name is only going to be in the bowl once. She might be in the fifteen class but her name isn’t in there four times.

Besides, with how the boarding school has been going these past few years, someone would volunteer over her. She doesn’t even doubt it.

Alyssum stands in front of her wardrobe, a dress in each hand. The first one is baby pink with white accents. There’s a ribbon that runs along the middle, and in the back it’s loose so that she can tie it in a bow. The dress is long-sleeved, soft to the touch with a white trim at the bottom. 

If she wears this one, she’ll have to be careful with where she walks and what touches it. It looks like it can be easily damaged, then again it can keep her warm, and it leaves an open possibility for any accessories.

In the other hand is a shimmery gold-colored dress. This fabric is stiffer, not easily malleable, and the accents are black instead of white. It’s not long sleeved, though, it’s got the arms of a regular t-shirt. Not to mention, it also has pockets.

As much as she likes the pink dress when she holds it up to her body, she thinks she remembers you warning her about what the weather is going to be like today. Hot, especially as time goes on.

She gives the pink dress a soft smile, putting it back on the rod inside her wardrobe. She’ll save it for later, a colder time when she needs to look formal but cute. Maybe during the winter Victory Tour, sometimes the mayor allows your family to join you at the dinner.

She pulls out her black Mary Jane’s, placing them outside of the closet. After shutting the doors, she takes her time moving around the room. A white pair of socks that will show her ankles, a black ribbon to tie into her hair if she wants to, a bracelet you gave her for her twelfth birthday.

She lays the accessories out on her desk in a line so that she doesn’t forget anything when it’s time to put on the finishing touches. Then, she gets to work with the little things.

Alyssum gathers her underwear and dress into one hand, moving to open her door to use the bathroom across the hall. The master bedroom, the one that you and Finnick use, is the only room that has a bathroom attached. However, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t bathrooms littered across the house.

She’s lucky that you had placed her across the bathroom when she was just a toddler. It makes for a short and easy trip when she doesn’t feel like getting dressed in the bathroom. Alyssum can’t count on her hand how many times she’s thanked you for it.

All you said is that you understood way before the boys did.

After shutting the bathroom door behind her, she quickly gets the shower started. It’s become a routine with her, something that you had started when she was old enough to get a schedule down. It makes for quick and easy mornings, especially when everyone wants to shower before the reaping to look nice.

Even with the victor houses, though, it takes a while for the water to heat up. She brushes her hair, and her teeth, in the meantime. A small yawn escapes her mouth just as she goes to test the water again.

Finally warm, she hops in. She washes her hair with the strawberry scented shampoo, working the conditioner in afterward. The body wash that you had picked out for her the other day isn’t fruity, it’s floral. Needless to say, Alyssum is going to smell nice.

When she gets out of the shower, she carefully dries her hair, and then her body. She’s heard the stories about the machines in the Capitol that automatically do this for their citizens. You keep swearing that the house will get it one day, but you haven’t found out a way to get it here just yet.

For now, Alyssum has to manually dry herself off. 

When she’s half-dressed, she works more water out of her hair, afraid that it’ll end up ruining the dress. It’s impossible to get all of it out, so she just hopes that it won’t ruin the fabric too much, besides making it darker.

She leaves the attached ribbon untied, but zips up the back to the top, being sure to fasten the button too. When she looks at herself, half-put together like this, her first thoughts are of how pretty she looks. And then she turns on the vent, allowing the steam to leave the bathroom.

The moment she opens the door again, she can tell she isn’t the only one awake anymore. There’s the faint sounds of coffee brewing in the maker, and sizzling of food. It could be either you, or Reed. The two of you always go back and forth between waking up first. 

Before she goes to investigate, she drops her dirty clothes in the hamper just inside her door. She’s quiet down the steps, because a few of them have a history of squeaking if they’re stepped on a certain way. Everyone in the house has memorized where at this point. It’s always left up to guests to step in the wrong place.

“Hello?” Alyssum calls out quietly, rounding the corner to see into the kitchen.

It looks like you’re the early bird this year.

Your head raises, body twisting to see who’s spoken. You relax considerably when you see that it’s Alyssum. A natural smile covers your face.

Alyssum can see that you’re making pancakes when you move out of the way. The ingredients sit along the counter, a blue mug of coffee sits within arms reach. She thinks that it’s the mug with Finnick’s face on it, a souvenir because you thought it was funny.

“Good morning, honey, you’re up early. Did you sleep okay?” You ask, eyebrows raised.

“Yeah,” Alyssum says, moving into the kitchen, “It’s because I went to bed early last night.”

Alyssum’s made sure that none of you know about her nightmares. The moment any of you find out, she’ll be taken out of the boarding school. It was a rule that was made for her when she was little, along with a lot of others. Like the fact that she can’t volunteer. She’s in the boarding school just in case she’s chosen, not because she’s supposed to be a future volunteer. 

If she were to get taken out, it wouldn’t be permanent, but it would be long enough to put a dent in her training in the boarding school. Of course, in this hypothetical situation, if she didn’t get better quickly, she’d stay out for as long as it took. And stuff like that is unpredictable.

“Makes sense,” you say, turning your back to her as you resume your cooking, “Nervous for your first year?”

“Kinda.” She admits, joining your side, “You don’t think that they’ll put my name in extra times or something, right?”

You give her a look, “I talked to Mayor Burrula, he’s going to make sure you don’t go in there more than once.”

Alyssum smiles slightly, “Finnick feeling better?”

“Yes, he’s still sleepin’ though.”

“So he’ll be at the reaping?”

“He wouldn’t miss it for the world.” You smile, “Do you need help with your hair?”

“When you have time, yes.” She turns her back to you, “Can you do my bow?”

While you do her bow properly, Alyssum has a perfect view of the staircase, allowing her to watch Reed come down. His hair is messy, eyes tired like they always are. It takes him a second to realize that you and Alyssum are in the kitchen, but he does eventually.

“You’re up early,” Reed says, raising his eyebrow at Alyssum.

“Went to bed early.” You say.

He nods, heading to the mug cupboard, pulling a random one off the shelf. A collection has grown over the years, allowing a variety to be picked. Still, Reed’s pick isn’t as random as Alyssum says, he uses the same three mugs over and over again, never in a specific order. 

This time he’s chosen the one that has an outline of the Capitol’s city. 

“You’re all tied up.” You say, standing up again, “Grab yourself a few pancakes, be careful not to spill on that dress.”

“Thank you.” Alyssum chirps, helping herself to the goodies along the counter. She skips over the syrup entirely, preferring the plain taste of pancakes soaked with butter.

She eats quietly, listening to the conversation that you and Reed have. It’s nothing of importance just yet, those topics are typically saved until Finnick and Mox come out. All news can wait until everyone is in attendance.

It really isn’t long before that’s the case. Finnick is down the stairs next, placing a gentle hand on Alyssum’s shoulder as he passes. His hair is much tamer than what Reed’s was, and his first stop is the coffee machine.

You pause the conversation long enough to move the mug you’re using, handing it off to poor Finnick, who doesn’t even realize what he’s drinking out of until it’s too late. His own face is staring him in his eyes. 

Alyssum watches you hold a smile, lips pressing together in an attempt to stifle the laughter that’s working its way out.

“You’re evil.” Finnick mutters, voice a little raspy.

“I can’t imagine what you mean.” You say back, a knowing smile on your face.

“You’re lucky you make good coffee.” Finnick points with his pinky finger.

A few minutes later, Mox is coming down the stairs, hair tied back so that it’s out of his face, “And I am the last one downstairs, yet again.”

“Since we’re all here, here’s the plan,” you start, not wasting time, “I’m going to get Alyssum ready first, then it’s my turn so I can see Mags and Anchor before noon. After that it’s a free for all—just make sure you’re at the reaping area early for Alyssum.”

“Finnick going with you?” Reed asks.

“I’m gonna need extra time to get ready, so she’ll swing by and grab me before she goes.” Finnick says, taking a sip of the coffee again.

“Sounds like a plan.” Mox is loading his plate with pancakes, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” you say, turning your attention to Alyssum, “Ready?”

Alyssum nods, laying her fork onto her plate. You sweep both up quickly, leaving them in the sink before ushering Alyssum up the stairs. She doesn’t have her shoes on just yet, wanting to wait until the last minute to put them on. They’re brand-new, and even with the constant reminders around her to break in the shoes, she forgot to.

“What do you want to do with your hair?” you ask, following her into her bedroom, “Braids, ponytail, something else?”

“Can you do the two buns like you did the other day?” Alyssum asks, pulling her chair in front of her mirror.

“On the back of your head or lower?” you touch the spots to give her an idea.

“Top--or in the middle.” 

Alyssum sits in the chair, watching you get to work behind her. You’re gentle when you handle her hair, nimble fingers that have her hair in position within a few minutes of starting. You’ve had a lot of practice over the years, most of the smaller girls in the boarding school end up needing help with their hair when they learn. With everyone having their own preferences, or hair types, you began to learn quickly.

“When your hair dries a little more, I’ll curl these front pieces, okay?” you say, eyes fixated on the bun you’re putting in place, “What time is it?”

“Ten-thirty, I think.”

“Do you want to run to the Square real quick and see if they have Mox’s shampoo?” you secure the other bun, pushing in the bobby pin.

“Sure.”

You smile behind her, patting her shoulders, “Don’t touch them too much, be back before eleven-thirty.”

“I will, thank you.” Alyssum smiles back.

After you leave the room, Alyssum pulls on her Mary Jane’s, already not liking the back the back of the shoe rubs against her heel. This’ll definitely be the last time she shrugs you all off when you try to give her advice. She’s going to end up with blisters, and who knows what that’ll do to her training?

On the way out of the room, she grabs a hold of her pocket knife, the one that you gifted to her. When it happened, Reed wasn’t too thrilled about it, and Alyssum understands why. He came around to the idea, though. Especially after Finnick calmly explained that the logic doesn’t pull through, there’s a lot of things that Alyssum does that she shouldn’t be doing at her age. Why stop now?

Mox and Reed are still in the kitchen and dining room area when she passes through, talking about what the betting might look like this year. Ever since District Four got Annie, they’ve begun to pick up speed with the careers, making it to the end of the games before they’re killed.

There’s always been betting inside of District Four, it’s not anything new. The Capitol isn’t the only exclusive place that does it, it’s just a matter of popularity. It’s likely to be more popular in the other districts though, always wondering if they’ll finally have an outlier that makes it to the finale.

It’s hardly ever the case. 

Alyssum sticks her hand into the cash jar, pulling out the bills that she’s going to need. Everything in the Square is pretty cheap, but everyone in the house has started a habit of paying more than what they need to. There’s more than enough money that goes around the house, yours and Finnicks’ victor checks combined is a huge influx. 

They would have to make a genuine effort to make a dent in the allowance, which says a lot about what the Capitol can afford to give away.

After tucking the cash into the pockets on her dress, she stops at the dining room table briefly, “I’m going to get Mox’s shampoo, I’ll try to be quick.”

“You have your pocket knife?” Reed asks.

She pulls it out of her pocket, showing him the black weapon. It’s folded, tightly secured, it won’t be ripping the inside of her dress. With how often she plays with it, though, it’s only a matter of time before she ends up cutting open her hand. She’s smart enough to play with it out in the open when she does, though. It’ll be easier to clean up the bloodstains than to repair the dress.

“Stay safe.” Mox says.

“I will.”

She’s out of the house after that, taking her time to get to the Square. The original house that Reed inherited after their parents’ death was a lot closer to the black market than the victor house they own now. In a sense, Victor’s Village is near the more expensive stores, since they’re now affordable. It’s a longer walk to get to the Square because of this.

Still, Alyssum enjoys the entire time it takes her to get there. She sees a few of her neighbors outside, offering waves and small smiles. Most of them are friendly, you all have had years to get to know them, and they ended up warming up just fine. Others aren’t as open, for a number of reasons.

You won the Hunger Games, and afterwards came a lot of changes. A lot of losses at the beginning of your mentorship, the boarding school, the strictness of the reaping, and the economy changed regarding the smaller businesses on the poorer side of District Four. 

It was all inevitable, the more victors that come into District Four, the more the changes are going to be. In a way, they hold all the influence of who stays open and who stays closed. Like Alyssum was saying, they all live closer to the expensive side of District Four, so it’s expected that they spend their money there. Yet, they still end up going to the poor shops, which changes the expectations.

It’s hard to tell someone what to do with their money, especially when they’re already doing a lot for the area they live in. Still, people find a way to do it anyway. And if they’re not being vocal about it, then they’re surely not being shy with the way they look at people.

Mox has told her stories about where they used to live, a house that’s still in their possession. She’s been back a few times, but it doesn’t hold any sentimental value to her. She doesn’t remember living there, and the few memories that she tries to cough up are likely made up. She really relies on what her older siblings have to say about the place.

A constant story that’s brought up is always about the neighbors in that area. How kind, generous, understanding they are. Even after you won your games, they never left the Gallows’ family side, because they’re all one big community there. Through thick and thin, they support the families that always get the lesser. Babysitters, meals, clothes, gateways to jobs, anything that a person needed, someone in that neighborhood would find a way to get it to them.

Alyssum may not have experienced it first hand just yet, but she hopes that she’ll be able to see it in person. There’s not much hope for District Four if there’s no humanity that goes around.

Like every reaping day, the Square is crawling with people. There’s a bouncer of sorts outside of the warehouse, someone she hasn’t seen before. She normally knows the people that stand outside as lookouts. Busts on the Square aren’t common, but it’s happened enough times for people to finally crack and make sure that there’s a person standing outside at all times during the busy days like today.

It’s a man, with short dark hair and brown eyes. His arms are crossed, he’s leaned back against the uneven metal of the building’s wall. At first, when Alyssum approaches, he seemingly pays no attention to her. It’s only when she makes a move to go inside, does he finally react, putting his arm out to stop her.

“You can’t go in.” he says, looking her over.

Alyssum raises her eyebrows, giving him a small smile, “Why not?”

“It’s not a place for people like you.” His tone is simple, slightly annoying. Just because she’s dressed nice, she’s not allowed to go inside?

Her hand secures around her pocket knife, thumb over the space that’ll allow her to flip open the knife, “You’re new here, that’s okay.” she states, watching the man’s face, “I don’t want to tell you how to do your job, but you do know that you piss off the vendors when you turn people away, right? Especially the regulars, like me.” 

She finally pulls out the knife, motioning to his arm with a straight face, “Move it, or I’ll make you.”

He doesn’t move at first, staring her down to see if she’s serious. When Alyssum doesn’t crack either, he finally moves his arm, allowing her entry.

“I’m Alyssum, by the way.” she flicks her knife shut, shoving it back into her pocket, “My older sister is (Y/n), I’m sure you’ve heard of her.”

She slips her way inside, leaving the man to realize the minor mistake he made. There’s enough people inside of the Square for it to be claustrophobic, her arm is always touching someone else. It’s not enough to make her worry about the well-being of her dress, though. If she really thinks that it’ll get damaged, she smoothes it down just enough to slip by.

The vendor she’s going to isn’t that far inside, yet it takes forever for her to actually get there. Many people want to stop and have a conversation with her, all of them knowing that this is her first year for the reaping. It’s all good words, reassurances that she won’t get chosen. The chances of it happening are too slim, and there’s plenty of volunteers that’ll want to get to have their try at the Hunger Games.

At the table, the vendor already has Mox’s shampoo on the surface. All Alyssum has to do is pay and grab the bottle, thanking the vendor and assuring him that he’ll be seeing her siblings soon. She waves goodbye, and takes her time leaving the Square. When the sun finally hits her face again, she stops a familiar face long enough to catch the time, finding out that she has thirty minutes to make it back home.

She doesn’t waste time anymore, trying to take the shortcuts so that she can get back to the house quicker. She doesn’t have to rush too badly, Mox is always the last to shower every year. He likes to let everyone else go before him, not minding the cold water. He’s also by far the quickest when it comes to showers.

Victor’s Village is just as barren as always, the silence overwhelming. It’s weird to think that there are seven different families living in the little neighborhood, yet there isn’t a single sound to prove that. Alyssum is sure not to disturb the peace, quietly making her way up the house steps.

Finnick is sitting at the dinner table when she goes inside, head resting against his hand, eyes closed. She doesn’t say anything to him as she goes up the stairs, knowing that he needs the sleep. Finnick’s been sick for the last couple of weeks, and you were convinced that he wouldn’t get better before the games. It wasn't normal sickness, Finnick had been out of it for weeks.

He only recently started feeling better, rising from the steep dip that he suddenly took. You didn’t want to push him into the normal routine so early, but he insisted that he got back to it as soon as possible. There was a slight rift when it came to that, in the end you gave it up, making him promise that he’ll take it easy and not strain himself too badly.

Alyssum drops the shampoo off in the bathroom, and then heads towards Mox’s bedroom down the hall, to the right. She knocks quietly a few times as a warning before opening the door. Mox’s head is raised, waiting to see who’s at the door. 

“Shampoo’s in the bathroom.”

“Thanks.” Mox smiles, “(Y/n) wanted me to tell you that she’s taking you to the reaping, so stick near Finnick.”

“Gotcha.”

Alyssum heads back to her bedroom to put on any finishing accessories that she might want to wear. She had laid out a lot of potential earlier, knowing that she would end up changing her mind on a lot of it, like the ribbon. And there’s not nearly enough time to curl the front of her hair, anymore. She’s left to wind it around her finger to give it some temporary curl.

She empties her pocket knife onto her desk, setting it off to the side. She pulls on the gifted bracelet, and a dainty ring that Mox got her that same birthday. Alyssum’s ears are pierced, so she carefully works in silver stars. She doesn’t wear earrings often anymore, and it’s because they get caught on fabric and hair when she trains in the boarding school.

She takes a step back to see herself in the mirror, and a broad smile covers her face. 

She looks so pretty.

Finnick is still at the table when she gets back downstairs, the only difference is that he’s awake now. He’s drumming his fingertips against the table, sounding off a steady rhythm. He doesn’t seem to notice Alyssum at first, not until she’s pulling out a chair to sit at the table.

“When did you come in?” he asks, looking her over.

“While you were napping.” she smiles, playing with her bracelet.

He hums.

The two of them sit in silence while they wait for you to finish your rounds. It’s a daily occurrence, the job of it just bounces back and forth between you, Finnick and Anchor. The older victor’s need to be checked up on, starting with Mags, then Luther, and finally, Scotch. Annie has her family so she doesn’t need to be looked over as vigilantly.

Ninety percent of the time, they don’t need to be checked up on. It’s the other ten percent of the time that makes it worth it, though. Luther’s taken some nasty spills recently, forcing him to move to the downstairs part of his house to avoid another accident. Or like a few years ago, when Mags had her stroke, and you’d found her before it had been too late.

It also helps build relationships, too. It lets the other victor’s know that someone cares, even if it’s the person across the street. Scotch wasn’t always friendly, it took years of talking to and invitations to finally get him to open up. He never married, didn’t have any kids. Luther’s wife died a long time ago, he didn’t want any kids. And Mags only has your family to rely on.

Remember what Alyssum had said about community? Victor’s Village didn’t have one, not until you and Finnick rolled around. It took years of building, but it got there, and it’s what keeps the neighborhood running. Not to mention, it takes an hour, two max to check up on the others.

It’s not a waste of time, not if it can save lives.

The door opens a little while later, revealing you. Upon seeing that Alyssum and Finnick are ready to go, a smile appears on your face, waving for them to get a move on.

“Sorry I took so long, apparently Luther needed to shower so I had to go and grab Anchor.” you hold the door open for Alyssum, allowing Finnick to take care of it when he walks out last.

“You didn’t wash him yourself?” Finnick jokes, you give him a playful eye roll. 

“No, I’ll leave the sponge baths to you and Anchor.”

Mags is waiting at the bottom steps, cane in hand. She doesn’t really need it, it’s just extra support to take the weight off of her feet. Together, the four of them start to head towards the courtyard area where the reaping takes place. This year, Anchor has agreed to go ahead and take Scotch and Luther to the reaping. As always, Annie’s family can take care of their daughter.

The walk is fairly quiet, with only you and Finnick talking, and the occasional question being directed towards Alyssum. It's a lighthearted conversation, keeping Alyssum’s mind off of the fact that she’ll be standing with the other twelve year-olds in less than a half hour.

Besides the fact that the courtyard is so far, they left early so that they’d be able to get Alyssum signed in before it got too busy. The Capitol takes advantage of the Hunger Games’ reaping by keeping track of the population. Mostly just the children eligible for the reaping itself, they could care less about the actual adults that are too old for the games.

After all, their deaths will be recorded by the hospitals that get the misfortunate of reporting it.

“They already know that you exist, Alyssum,” you tell her once you see the station full of peacekeepers, “All you have to do is tell them your name and they’ll take a blood sample. It’s going to hurt for just a second.”

“And then I go and find you?”

“We’ll be nearby, you don’t have to go searching too far.” Finnick says.

Alyssum gives them a nod, “Okay.”

She splits from them, heading towards the end of the line. It’s moving at a steady pace, it’ll be her turn in no time. From where she stands, it looks like there’s not a lot of people in the fenced-in area for the reaping. She’ll get to choose where she wants to stand, and it’ll be in view of you.

Alyssum watches the boy ahead of her, stating his name, and then holding out his hand for the peacekeeper to take when they’re ready. He moves on quickly, going straight towards the courtyard, and suddenly it’s Alyssum’s turn.

She moves forward, “Alyssum Gallows.”

The peacekeeper writes the name down, “Twelve?”

“Yes.”

“Sister of (Y/n), right?” he looks up, the visor on his helmet is at the top, allowing her to see the peacekeeper’s eyes. They’re a dark brown, not a very common color inside of District Four. He’s definitely from the Capitol, “The victor?”

Well, obviously the victor. There’s no one else in District Four with the last name of Gallows, and it's because it was hand-picked by a great-grandmother during the Dark Days. The family name wasn’t always Gallows.

“Yes.” Alyssum says it slower this time, eyes narrowing slightly. What is he getting at?

He holds out his gloved hand for hers, presumably for the blood draw. He secures it, yanking her forward, closer to the table as he brings up the buzzer. Just by looking at his eyes, the wrinkles that have engraved themselves in the corners, he’s got a smile of sorts on his face. She’s got a sick feeling it isn’t friendly, though.

He tazes the tip of her finger, presses the print down onto the space beneath her name, and doesn’t let go immediately, “The Capitol will love you.”

Alyssum recoils, pulling her hand free. She’s careful not to touch the blood to the outside of her dress, instead she opts for shoving them straight into her pockets, staring down at the man, “It’s a shame they didn’t like you the same, isn’t it?” she can see the wrinkles fading, which means his smile is going, “After all, you became a peacekeeper.”

She goes to leave, a step in, when another thought comes to mind. A grin covers her face, eyes landing on the man again, who’s no longer as smug as he was before, “And the Capitol already loves me.”

She walks away, heading straight to you and Finnick. She doesn’t have to grab your attention, because the two of you are caught between looking at her, and looking at the peacekeeper that had just given her a hard time.

“What did he say?” Finnick asks, you press a hand to her back, ushering her to the stage.

“He asked if I was your sister, was all.” Alyssum says.

“Besides that, he said something else.” you say, “I know he did, because you wouldn’t have pulled away like that.”

Alyssum shrugs, “He said, ‘The Capitol will love you’ and so I told him that they do.”

She doesn’t miss how you and Finnick share a look. It’s not very subtle at all, she’d like to read your minds, but she hasn’t gotten to that point yet. She does begin to get a little worried when you stop walking, and make her stop too.

“We talked to Elysia and Mayor Burrula.” Finnick reminds you.

“But they aren’t in charge--” you start, pausing briefly to secure your hands over Alyssum’s ears. It’s all muffled, too hard for her to hear besides a few words. She thinks you mention President Snow and the Capitol, that’s as far as she can hear, though.

The hands are removed, and Alyssum is being pushed towards the stage again.

“Is everything okay?” Alyssum asks, looking at you.

You give her a gentle smile, “Yes, the reaping starts in fifteen minutes, so why don’t you go ahead and stand at the twelve section, okay?”

Alyssum nods, allows you to grab her head to place a quick kiss on the top of it. Finnick gives her a reassuring squeeze on her shoulder, and then follows you to the stage. Mags has already taken her seat, right next to Luther, Scotch and Anchor. When Alyssum turns to get a quick glance behind her, she’s able to see that Annie is coming up. Reed and Mox are not in sight.

They always arrive late. You asked them to be early this morning, but that’s practically impossible for them to do. They always have something going on, an extra-long shower, stopping at Caspian’s house, walking slower than normal. The most that Alyssum will probably get is five minutes before the reaping. If she enters now, like you asked her to, then she won’t be getting those few minutes.

It’s not all that important, anyway. She’ll be seeing them after the reaping, and maybe a quick goodbye from you before you and Finnick go to the Capitol to mentor.

She takes a deep breath, and then goes forward, passing the peacekeepers that are in charge of corralling the teenagers and keeping them inside. She has to walk all the way up to the front, since the older kids are required to stand in the back. It’s mostly because of height differences, it makes it a lot easier to actually see the eligible faces of the young if the old aren’t in the way.

There’s not a lot of girls in her section, so she positions herself wherever she wants. She can see your chair, and where the Mayor and Capitol escort is, and that’s really all that matters.

In the meantime, she keeps her feet planted and lets the other girls walk around her. One of Alyssum’s friends, Laleh, decides to stand right next to her, talking about her dress. Alyssum tries to be polite by listening to what she has to say, but eventually can’t pay attention anymore. Her hands are sweating and her stomach is twisting into knots.

As soon as there aren’t teenagers coming into the reaping area anymore, Mayor Burrula stands from where he was sitting. He heads towards the microphone, and starts his usual speech, starting with the history of Panem, moving onto the Dark Days and what brought them to the Hunger Games, and then the list of District Four’s victors.

“Mags Flanagan,” he starts, he holds no cards. The speech is committed to his memory, “Luther Burch, Scotch Holloway, Anchor Ridge, (Y/n) Gallows, Finnick Odair and Annie Cresta.”

A total of seven.

And with that, he introduces Elysia Petalsong, District Four’s Capitol escort.

This year, she’s dawned in a gentle blue, with fake seafoam strategically placed around her dress. She gives the mayor a smile, wandering her way up to the microphone on the podium. Alyssum’s had plenty of conversations with Elysia by now, so she knows that Elysia’s reliable and kind. District Four is lucky to have her.

“Happy Hunger Games,” Elysia’s accent isn’t as strong as some of the Capitol people Alyssum’s met, “And may the odds be ever in your favor. Let’s begin with the ladies.”

Elysia moves to the bowl on her left, her hands are also covered by gloves, this time white. The ones that the peacekeepers have are black and leather, most smooth to the touch. The one sitting at the table wasn’t, it’s obviously had its fair share of wear and tear.

She stops in front of the girls bowl, a smile on her face. She sticks her hand in, picking a slip of paper that’s pressed to the glass bowl. With two fingers, she brings it back out, taking her time to find her place back at the podium again.

Alyssum can feel her heart beating in her chest, blood rushing in her ears. She’s only twelve, she knows her name is only in there one time, so why is she feeling this way? There are many, many other girls that could be called, who’s to say that it’s her?

The feeling doesn’t shake, not even when she looks at you.

This scene, it’s too familiar...

Elysia unfolds the paper slip, a smile on her face. She inhales, preparing to say the name, but it never comes. She deflates, the microphone catching the wind. Elysia seems to go rigid, eyes glued to the paper slip between her gloved fingers. 

Alyssum can see you sit up taller, eyebrows inward and trying to see if you can catch the name yourself. It must be too far, because you’re shaking your head and shrugging at Finnick. 

Another couple of seconds pass, and it’s enough to make the head peacekeeper impatient. He clears his throat, letting her know to get a move on. It’s enough to finally slap her out of her daze, blinking several times. When she speaks, though, it’s barely above a whisper.

“The girl’s tribute this year is--um--” she pauses for a moment again, shaking her head, taking in a deep breath. She ends up letting out half of it before she speaks again, “--Alyssum Gallows.”

It hits Alyssum, making her go rigid.

Her nightmare, she remembers what it’s been, and why this whole scene was so familiar. It’s because she’s lived this exact scenario several times a week, leading up to today. It wasn’t just a nightmare, it was the future. 

The now.

Alyssum lifts her head slightly, eyes finding you first, wanting to make sure that this is real, this isn’t some dream. By the way you’ve braced yourself against the chair, hands gripped around the seat, how Finnick has his hand wrapped around your stomach, holding you back. It’s real, this is all real.

She sucks in a sharp breath, her hands curling into fists as she moves to go to the aisle. The volunteers will not be immediate, after District Four started getting so many, the Capitol encouraged Mayor Burrula to fall back on the old rules; the original children get up to stage, and then volunteers are asked.

Alyssum can still hear her heart in her ears, feel the back of her shoes rubbing against her heels. She should’ve broke the shoes in, it wouldn’t be painful to walk, had she just broke the shoes in.

She relaxes her hands, forcing a smile on her face, despite the grim looks that everyone on stage is sharing at the moment. The peacekeepers march her to the stairs, which is only a few feet away, and then they leave her to make the rest of the way up by herself.

Elysia gently takes Alyssum’s hand in hers, directing Alyssum to stand in front of the girls’ glass bowl. There’s a constant thought running through her head, reminding her that every camera is currently on her and her older sister. Everyone in the Capitol is currently on the edge of their seats.

Alyssum Gallows, younger sister of (Y/n) Gallows. Or as you’re professionally known, The Executioner.

From way up there, on the stage, Alyssum can finally see her brothers, who also aren’t looking too hopeful. Reed has paled severely, lost all color in his face. Mox doesn’t even look like he’s inside of his own body anymore, just staring straight forward.

Alyssum can understand why you’re all looking this way, horrified. It’s because you all knew it was a possibility, you didn’t think that it would come true. 

Even with his current state, Reed waves a hand to catch Alyssum’s attention. He has his lips pressed together, face twisted. She’s never seen him cry before, but that might change today. Still, he stands up taller, draws his shoulders back, and raises his chin. Then, he motions to her.

She understands, and follows what he did, one at a time. He wants her to look confident, standing tall and brave. It’s a smart tactic, takes away the idea that she’s scared.

“And now, to the boys.” Elysia isn’t as confident, moving towards the boys’ bowl.

She digs her hand into the paper slips, and pulls out one that was sitting in the middle. No matter where she grabs from, there will be an unlucky child that’s called to the stage. There’s no escaping it. Alyssum is a good example of this.

Back at the microphone, she unwraps the tape and clears her throat, “The boy tribute for this year is Delroy Hardin.”

Alyssum recognizes the name, he’s in the boarding school. And funny enough, he’s fifteen, so she’s trained alongside him. Just like Alyssum, he’s good, just not perfect yet. With more time, both of them will get there.

Delroy comes out of the right side in the boys section. The peacekeepers spot him, and join his side for the march up front. He looks straight ahead, not paying attention to them. During the few conversations that Alyssum’s had with him, he was standoffish at the beginning. 

It’s not really a surprise that he’s not a big fan of the peacekeepers.

He takes his time going up the steps, Elysia guides him to his place behind the boys’ glass ball. When she returns to the podium, she seems to have lightened up a little.

“Any volunteers?” She asks.

For a moment, it’s still, then a hand shoots up in the seventeen section for the boys, none of the girls move. Which is fine, because Elysia is going to ask again, anyway.

“I volunteer!” The teen emphasizes, coming out of the section. The peacekeepers spot him, and move him forward to the front.

Alyssum knows him, too. He’s from the boarding school, but even worse, he’s the brother of Marsh Milillio—Annie’s tribute counterpart who ended up being decapitated. Paslee Milillio has come close to going inside of the Hunger Games once before already, and that’s when Marsh volunteered over him.

She holds her breath, wanting to look at you.

Delroy backs up, allowing space for Paslee to take his place. First, he joins Elysia at the microphone to introduce himself.

“And what’s your name?” She asks.

“Paslee Milillio.” He echoes Alyssum’s thoughts.

Elysia doesn’t say anything for a moment.

Alyssum wonders what Annie looks like, actually.

“Brother of Marsh Milillio?” Elysia asks slowly.

“Yes.” Paslee nods, and then flashes a smile.

“Thank you for your nobility.” She says, queueing Paslee to take Delroy’s place. Once he stops moving, she turns to the mic again, “Any girl volunteers?”

Silence. No one moves. Alyssum can hear the wind whistling in her ears, and feel her heart beat harder in her chest, knees locking so that she stays upright.

“No volunteers.” Elysia says, taking a deep breath, “Well, Happy Hunger Games, and may the odds be ever in your favor.”

She backs up, allowing Alyssum to see Paslee. The two of them shake hands now, she’s seen it happen a dozen times. She forces a smile on her face, being the first to move forward. Paslee’s hand is warm, and he’s got a tight grip. They shake once, and then twice.

Once again, Alyssum turns to face everyone standing in the sections. The Capitol’s anthem blares overheard, hurting her ears. And she doesn’t miss how Mox is crying, a fist pressed to his mouth. 

As soon as the anthem is done, she’s getting swept into the Justice Building. Paslee is taken one way, she’s brought the other. They put her in a room with velvet couches and lock the door behind them, leaving her alone to her thoughts.

Alyssum stares at the window, not knowing whether to laugh, to cry, or to pinch herself. It feels like she’s dreaming, as if none of this is actually real, but she runs her hand along the couch and she can feel the softness beneath her fingertips. 

Still, for good measure, she pinched herself, tighter and tighter. The pain grows, and there’s a red spot when she pulls her hand away. She’s not dreaming, she’s still awake.

Alyssum takes a seat on the couch, places her hands together, and then slides them between her thighs. She leans forward, prepared to get up at any moment while she stares at the sunbeams on the floor.

She’s only twelve, her name was on one paper slip. It doesn’t feel like a coincidence, like it just-so-happened to have turned out this way. It feels planned, especially since no one volunteered over her. Every single year, there’s been two volunteers, why is this year any different?

It takes only a moment for her to realize.

The peacekeeper just before the reaping, he knew that this was coming. He knew, and that’s why he said something, to taunt her. You and Finnick had gone out of your way to make sure that Alyssum wouldn’t get picked for the Hunger Games, and still, the Capitol always finds its way.

But why would they want her now? Why wouldn’t they want to wait until she was older? Is it because of experience?

With the thousands of questions running through her mind, Alyssum nearly misses the fact that the door opens. She looks up, and then over at the area to see who is first to say goodbye. Of course, it’s her family.

Reed, Mox, you, and Finnick are all coming toward her at once, with widely different reactions on your faces. Alyssum stands, and collides with Reed first, who holds her tightly, tight enough for her to think that her ribs are going to break. She squeezes back, eyes closed.

“I am so--” your voice is wavering, Alyssum pulls away long enough to see the tears in your eyes, “--sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

She hugs you next, even though she knows that she’ll be around you for the whole week. 

“You can do this.” Reed says, “All you have to do is remember your training, okay? You’ve got five years right now.”

Her head bobs, moving on to Mox. He lets out a shaky breath, sucking in quickly afterwards. When she moves off of him, you and Reed work at the same pace. You take off her bracelet, he slides off of Mox’s ring. The two of you pocket the jewelry, and she doesn’t have time to argue before there’s a replacement being presented.

A necklace.

It’s blue, reflecting the sunlight that comes through the window. It has a silver chain, and she very carefully lifts it into the air to get a better look at it. She has a feeling she should know where it’s coming from, but she can’t place her finger on it.

“It’s tanzanite.” your voice is soft, quiet, “It was mom’s, and before that, it was grandma’s too.”

“And it’s going to be your token.” Reed says, cupping her hands, “We love you.”

“Thank you,” Alyssum says, “Thank you.”

Reed pulls her back into a hug, head angled backward to look at the ceiling. Alyssum can hear their thoughts, even if they’re not being said aloud. They can’t believe that they’ve spent eleven years raising her, protecting her, loving her. Only for it to come back down on them in the worst way possible. You getting chosen for the Hunger Games was bad enough, this is--was--out of the question.

“You listen to (Y/n) and Finnick,” Reed starts, she knew this was coming, it was inevitable, “Every word they say, every piece of advice they have to give, you listen to it and you find a way to make it work.”

“Yes.” she says.

“No,” Reed says suddenly, making her look him in the eyes, “Promise me, right now.”

No one wants to say it. No one wants to say that she has a little to no chance of winning, that it’s not funny. Finnick was the youngest victor to ever win, and that’s with the help of you. There hasn’t been a single tribute younger that’s come close to winning.

It would take a miracle for her to pull it off.

“I promise.” Alyssum says, “I will listen to (Y/n) and Finnick.”

“Good.” he breathes, he doesn’t look more at ease.

The sound of the doorknob turning across the room, makes them all look over. The peacekeeper on the other side stares into the room for a second, and then says, “Time’s up.”

Alyssum watches as you and Finnick join the group hug that’s given to her, and then quickly back away so she can have an official goodbye with her brothers. Reed squeezes her, Mox cries into her shoulder, the both of them telling her that they love her.

Just before you exit the room, you stop next to the door, “Cameras are at the train station, so chin up, okay? Big smiles.”

The peacekeeper shuts the door as soon as you’re out of the way, leaving Alyssum alone again. She’s sure that she won't get any more visitors. Laleh is her friend, but her mother will hold her back from doing it. Instead, Alyssum stares at the necklace for a while longer, running her thumb over the smooth rock. 

You wouldn’t have given it to her if you knew that it had the chance of getting declined from being a token. Which means that she’ll be able to represent mom, and grandma, just like you had when you went into the games. You took that engagement ring, a family heirloom, and took the spirit of your family with. Maybe the necklace will have the same effect.

Actually, she’s counting that it will.

When the peacekeepers come back, it’s to collect her and bring her to the car. By then, she’s already got the necklace around her neck, so she follows them to where they guide her to be. Inside of the car is Elysia and Paslee, the door slams shut behind her.

The ride from the Justice Building to the train station isn’t all that long. It’s enough time for Alyssum to think about how this is her second time in a car, ever. The first time being when you had been chosen for the Hunger Games, and Reed and Mox needed a speedy way to get to the train station before you did. She was only three then, she doesn’t remember a single thing from it. Not even the urgency.

Elysia is required to get out of the car first, Alyssum is directed next. She doesn’t miss how badly the back of her feet hurt, and bites back the facial expressions she wants to make. Paslee comes out after, graceful and smiling. The two of them are brought to the platform, and stand there to allow the Capitol to get a good look at them before the train takes them away.

Reed and Mox are at the very front. Reed’s arms are crossed, face in a frown, and briefly musters a smile just for her. Mox is still crying, hands pressed together in a prayer, which are against his lips. He’s shaking his head, disbelief, she thinks it is.

Alyssum gives them a smile, blows a kiss, and then waves.

“Okay, come on.” Elysia finally says, pressing a hand to each of their shoulders, pushing them inside of the train.

The door shuts, the train immediately beginning to move. You and Finnick are nowhere in sight just yet, and Alyssum has a feeling it’s because Elysia has to give a tour of the train first. The Justice Building in District four is nice inside, probably a lot better than the poorer districts--she won’t even bother to compare it to the other career districts--but the train is even nicer.

Alyssum and Paslee each get their own bedrooms, private bathrooms, and large dressing rooms. It’s better than her house back home, of course. However, she still wouldn’t trade her small bedroom and the bathroom across the hallway for anything here. The dressers inside of the bedroom are filled with expensive clothing from brands that she didn’t even know existed. Elysia keeps repeating that they can do whatever they want on the train, wear the clothes without charge, this is their time to be comfortable before the chaos of the Capitol.

Elysia stops in the hallway that’s shared between the two tribute bedrooms, with Alyssum to her right and Paslee to her left, “Neither of you will see the mentors until supper, which is in an hour. I suggest showering, changing, letting out any emotions you might be feeling beforehand.”

“Thank you.” Alyssum says.

“Yes, thank you.” Paslee repeats.

Elysia smiles at the both of them, leaving through the door they all came through. For a moment, the two tributes stand there, not moving to go to their rooms. Paslee is the first to speak up.

“Do you want to try out an alliance?” he asks, “And decide later on if we want to stick to it?”

Alyssum gives him a smile, “Sure.”

He gives her a smile back, splitting ways. Alyssum gets into her bedroom, only a few steps in, the door just barely closing behind her, and she’s already bursting into tears, a hand clamped over her mouth. She squeezes her eyes shut, lowering herself to the floor to sit down. It doesn’t feel real, none of this feels real. 

She sniffs, and she’s breaking down immediately after.

Her name was supposed to be inside of the bowl once. Who knows how many times the Capitol requested it be? They could have had the whole bowl be her name, and it wouldn’t have mattered what paper Elysia picked. All outcomes would’ve pointed to Alyssum, and she would have ended up here, on the train to the Capitol, a contender of the seventy-fourth Hunger Games.

She slams her fist into the carpet once, twice, three times. It hurts, she wants to stop, but she doesn’t know what else to do. How else is she supposed to let all of it out? Rip the clothing in the closet? Order plates and break them against the walls? Smash everything around her?

It’ll just create a mess that someone else will have to clean up. So, for now, she continues to slam her fist against the carpet, hoping that she’ll still have this frustration later on in the training center. That’s where all of this anger will really matter.

She should shower.

Alyssum pulls herself together, dragging her feet into the walk-in closet. She digs through the drawers, finding a pair of black jeans and a red shirt to wear. She skips over shoes, knowing that she’ll have plenty of time leftover to pick a pair out.

She places the necklace into a glass bowl, being careful not to tangle the silver chain. After she starts the shower, she undresses, using a hanger nearby to put the dress up. If she makes it out of the Hunger Games alive, she knows that she’ll ultimately want the dress as a keepsake, for whatever reason that may be later on. She doesn’t bother to pull out her hair, not wanting to get it wet in the first place.

She wants to use the bodywash that’s offered, the only problem is that she doesn’t want to wash away the floral scent from home. The one you picked out for her months ago, and she hasn’t been able to get enough of the smell ever since. In the end, she doesn’t have much of a choice, she smells like sweat from standing out in the sun for nearly an hour.

When she comes out of the shower, she gets dressed, and decides against shoes. If she’s going to be walking through the train to get to the dinner table, she should be fine. It would be a different story if she had to go outside or step into anything dirty. Knowing the Capitol, and how they prioritize safety, both of those scenarios have been ruled out.

Alyssum walks herself to the dinner car, running into Elysia on the way. Elysia gives her a small set of directions on how to get there, and then goes right back to trying to retrieve Paslee for dinner. Alyssum makes it to the car just fine, and just as Elysia had promised earlier, you and Finnick are sitting at the table.

“You look nice,” you say, you haven’t changed your outfit at all. Neither has Finnick.

“I skipped out on shoes.” Alyssum admits, taking a chair.

You suppress a laugh.

Elysia comes back a few minutes later, Paslee walking behind her. He’s hunched forward at first, until he notices that you and Finnick are here. He perks up, back straightening, a smile coming over his face again. He must be eager to learn, which is weird, because he’s learned everything possible in the five years he’s been with the boarding school.

Well, Alyssum thinks it’s five years.

Paslee takes his seat next to her.

“The dinner comes in courses,” you warn, allowing Elysia to sit, “Eat too much of just one food and you won’t have enough room for the rest.”

“I’d suggest eating small portions, and knowing how to pace yourself.” Finnick continues, “The food can make you feel sick after.”

Alyssum nods, Paslee does the same.

It starts with a vegetable soup, with potatoes, carrots, celery and more. It moves onto the salad, full of greens, then a beef roast, a light snack of crackers and cheese, and ends with a dessert of ice cream and a small chocolate cake that leaks fudge when it’s broken open.

All of it is delicious, far better than what Alyssum eats back home, which is typically the high-class stuff. With the Capitol money, you can afford the butcher shops, the real bread, the freshly grown vegetables. She’s never had to endure the same pain that you have. Still, even with Reed’s cooking--something he’s very good at--he doesn’t even compare to what she’s just eaten.

She’s full, but craving more. She’s glad that she’ll be able to eat like this for the rest of the week. If the tributes going into the arena with her don’t treat her well, then the food that the Capitol feeds her will. 

After their stomachs are settled, Elysia brings them all to a new compartment, one that will allow them to watch the recap of the reapings. This is the part that’s important, what Paslee and Alyssum have been waiting for. They can finally get a good idea of what their competition will look like, and decide whether or not alliances will be worth it.

As always, District One isn’t anything to get teary-eyed over. It was figured out years ago that the mentors pick their tributes prior to the Hunger Games. So when a tall, skinny boy volunteers, it’s not really noble. Neither is the blonde girl, who’s strikingly pretty, giving the crowd a white smile.

District Two follows the same pattern of volunteers, this time starting with girls. She looks average at first, but the truth is that she’s strong, even if she did walk out of the fifteen section. And undoubtedly, she is much heavier than Alyssum is. Her tribute counterpart is just as terrifyingly large, he’d be able to kill Alyssum without blinking.

She doesn’t like to watch the recap of the District Four reaping as much, pressing her lips together and trying to focus on Caesar and Claudius’ narration.

“And finally, the last of the careers,” Caesar says, “District Four.”

Elysia follows through with her normal routine, picks the girl tribute, and then stands at the podium. This is when it stops, because she’s not speaking immediately, and her Capitol facade dies.

“What’s taking her so long?” Claudius asks.

“Maybe she doesn’t know how to pronounce the name?” Caesar suggests, leaning his chin against his hand.

She suddenly jolts upwards, which must be because of the peacekeeper. She takes a deep breath, and quietly repeats the name for everyone watching. It’s loud enough for the microphone to catch the words, but just barely.

Caesar straightens up, eyebrows drawing in, “Did she say Alyssum Gallows?”

“I think so.”

“Must be why it took her so long.” Caesar looks at the camera now, Alyssum can feel the history lesson coming, “For those of you who don’t know--”

Claudius scoffs, “--which should be impossible--”

“--Alyssum is the younger sister of (Y/n) Gallows, winner of the sixty-fifth Hunger Games, alongside Finnick Odair.” Caesar finishes.

“We should note that there is no guarantee that she goes inside.” Claudius says, “District Four has had an incline of volunteers over the past ten years.”

Caesar nods, agreeing.

Alyssum makes it to the top of the stage, standing with her hands at her sides, smiling at her brothers below. Elysia calls Delroy, who comes up to the stage too. This is when Elysia asks for volunteers, Paslee comes to the stage. And for one final time, volunteers are asked for again, with no response.

“And just like that, Alyssum is going to the Capitol.” Caesar smiles, “I can’t wait to see if she’s anything like her older sister.”

“They make me sick.” You spit, crossing your arms.

The following six districts don’t stand out to Alyssum in any way. District Eleven picks at her interest when another twelve year-old is picked, and met with the same wind-whistling answer when volunteers are asked for. As for District Twelve, it was nearly another repeat, another girl, but her older sister volunteered over her before she even got to the stage.

And then the program ends.

They all sit in silence, staring at the television as Caesar and Claudius begin talking about what they noticed throughout the reapings but didn’t have time to point out, the predictions will follow soon after. Elysia goes to turn off the tv out of habit, never making it past the reapings anymore.

You catch her hand, stopping her from pressing the button, “Wait.”

They mill around with Districts One and Two, going back and forth on commenting on their tributes. Someone then says something off-screen, making the two men lean back and swivel in the direction the sound is coming from.

“What was that, my dear?” Caesar asks, cupping his ear and leaning forward.

The voice is much too quiet for the microphone to pick up, but they seem to hear the girl. Caesar raises his eyebrows, a smile coming to his face while the screen behind him changes to a picture of you from your reaping. 

“Oh.” Claudius says.

Caesar laughs slightly, “For those of you who didn’t catch that, one of our interns has noticed a similarity between reaping outfits for the Gallows sisters.”

It’s you, in this gold dress that you had inherited from your mother. Alyssum doesn’t recognize it, doesn’t even know where it came from. For all she knows, you bought it prior to the Hunger Games at the Square. 

Next, they fade in a picture of Alyssum standing on the stage, in her own gold dress. It makes her feel sick again, reinforcing her idea that this was planned, she was always going to go into the arena this year.

“It doesn’t matter if this was intentional or not, because I think it’s fantastic!” Caesar laughs, motioning to the screen, “There’s practically no difference between the two here, they look the same. She may only be twelve, but she’s already begun to leave a lasting impression. Once again, I can’t wait to see how this all plays out.”

“And let’s not forget the boy that volunteered--” Claudius is saying quickly, not wanting the subject to change, “Paslee Milillio, was it? We had a tribute a couple of years ago by the name of Marsh Milillio, and by what Paslee had said on stage, they’re brothers!”

“Yes,” Caesar says the word as if everyone has already made the connection, “We’ve got a lot of siblings going inside of the arena this year, including the girl from Twelve--”

The tv shuts off then, not allowing them to go any further.

Alyssum looks over her shoulder to see you tossing the remote back onto the couch, “We’ll be in the Capitol in a few hours. I suggest the two of you get some rest until then, you’re going to need it.”

“We’ll come and get you.” Elysia smiles, getting up from where she was sitting.

She’s the first to leave, Paslee is second. Alyssum doesn’t move from the couch until they’re both gone, and when they are, she’s throwing herself at you. You hug her tightly, rubbing her back.

“They did this on purpose, didn’t they?” Alyssum asks, sucking in deep breaths to keep herself crying.

“Yes, they did. And they’re going to regret it.”

--

BERCEUSE IS A SPIN-OFF //MASTERLIST//

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[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars #10-12

February, 1985

DEATH TO THE BEYONDER!

Wow, Doom has been beaten to hell in this story, huh?

Couldn’t have happened to a nicer etc etc.

Anyway, lets get to it.

Last times in Secret Wars: Some amazingly powerful being from Beyond the universe called the Beyonder kidnaps a bunch of heroes, villains, shades thereof, and chunks of random planets to put on a big toy commercial where action figures can bonk off each other.

The X-Men ditched the other heroes to team up with Magneto to do their own thing, as they’re wont to do. But still largely helped the other heroes fight the villains. And didn’t even do villain shit even though Magneto advocated for it.

There have been a bunch of fights back and forth between the groups but most recently, Captain America’s group of heroes stormed Doombase and took down the villain group then had to rush to back up the X-Men in dealing with Galactus who wants to eat the planet, as he is wont to do.

Doom busted out of the cell the heroes stuck him in to pull off his master plan with the help of solid sound man Klaw while Reed Richards had a crisis of weird conscience as he became convinced that maybe Galactus should eat the planet. But he eventually helped the other heroes drive Galactus off-planet where the hat horned purple planet eater started to eat his own spaceship, with Doom planning to steal that tasty snack.

And that brings us to now.

Where things are getting super freaky.

Reed Richards’ skeleton viscerally upsets me.

But as Galactus’ ship turns from Mobius ship to energy cloud, the cloud gets ripped away from Galactus and streams towards Doombase.

Captain America sends Captain Marvel to Doombase to check if Doom is behind this Total Doom Move and she zips over to determine, yup, Doom is pulling a total Doom right now.

He’s got himself strapped to a thing under a bunch of Klaw lenses injecting PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER right into his itty bitty body.

Captain Marvel is going to zip back over to let Captain America and Mr. Fantastic know whats going on but Professor X chimes in her brain that he’ll save them some time by setting up a psychic conference call between her and Reed.

Meanwhile, Doctor Doom finishes consuming the aggregate energy of a spaceship the size of a solar system and trips out a little on omnipotence.

Doom: “By the dark gods! My least whim alters the world around me! Such is the power coursing within me that stone and steel are wisps of nothing which bend and transform in slavish obedience to my merest stray thought!”

Just say no to phenomenal cosmic power.

Also, some omniscience, which lets him see his own brains and into the souls of the people in Doombase.

Annnd. He spots Captain Marvel. Womp womp.

When the psychic connection between her and Xavier is suddenly cut off, the heroes pile into the X-Men’s wrecked ship to fly to Doombase and save Captain Marvel.

Hm. They’ve really been back and forth. They were all just at Doombase and then they came here and now they’re going back to Doombase.

Since the ship is wrecked, Magneto just propels it with MASTERY OF MAGNET and Cap(tain America) praises him for living up to his hype.

Which sets Magneto off on a rant.

Magneto: “I gather, Captain America, that you would have preferred that I fail! Or... was that remark, perhaps, intended to be a ‘well done’ for which I should humble thank you.”

Captain America: “At ease, mister!”

Magneto: “Allies should be ‘at ease’ with one another! What troubles you? Is it my awesome power? Are you jealous? Afraid? Or is it merely because I am a mutant that you are not ‘at ease’?”

Captain America: “Now that you mention it, the fact that you tried to kill all of us here several times as part of various evil schemes for world conquest is pretty hard to forget entirely!”

This sort of feels like Magneto is antsy because he hasn’t been villaining as much as he likes. Or like him going ‘today I shall cause problems on purpose.’

But, whoops, Cap says that he doesn’t have a problem with the X-Men which sets off Wolverine on a rant about how Captain America doesn’t do enough for mutants.

Geez, its like the time he unmasked a governmental conspiracy by Richard Nixon to use a mutant powered UFO to take over America doesn’t even count.

Wolverine accuses Cap of not laying off Magneto even though he’s been helpful. I’ll note that all Cap did was tell Magneto good job which Magneto decided was a slight.

Meanwhile, over at Doombase where Doom likes to Doom, Doom is pondering what to do now.

He is now powerful enough to wipe out everyone on Battleworld with a wave of his hand and easily win this Secret Wars. But he’s already so powerful, what could he possible ask the Beyonder for?

Doom: “Are those dust-mote heroes truly my enemies? Or... is there now but one foe in all existence worthy of Doom? The Beyonder himself!”

Mostly because he exists and is more powerful than Doom and that simply cannot do.

Like, Doom notes that he already has all the power he could ever want but there’s someone over outside the universe who has more power so Doom wants it. Even though the power he do have is messing him up.

Truly Doom in a nutshell.

Hm. Is it odd that everyone just decides that the Beyonder is male based on nothing? He does decide to be male when he manifests on Earth in Secret Wars 2 but there’s no basis for the assumption here.

But we have toys to sell so Doom upgrades his armor.

This was another request from Mattel, for Doom (and Iron Man, hence the upgrade he gets from Mr. Fantastic) to be given high-tech costumes.

I personally think they just didn’t want to make capes. Notably, there was never a Thor toy.

In-universe, the new armor is a secret weapon to use against the Beyonder, based on Galactus’ machine and the data Doom got scanning the Beyonder in issue 1.

The heroes but into Doombase to find no one to fight. All the villains are still locked up and Doom is nowhere to be seen. They find Captain Marvel, frozen in light form like a hologram.

Then a massive KRAKABOOOM! shakes the fortress as DOOM goes to confront the Beyonder.

The Beyonder: “Stop! You cannot approach me!”

Doom: “Then approach me, coward -- on your knees, if you have knees! Come! Cringe before your master! Grovel before Doom!”

The conflict starts to shake Doombase apart and a big ol rock falls on Reed’s lower torso and knocks the wind out of him.

The monitors in Doombase also shows that the destruction is worldwide, causing devastation to Zsaji’s village, and doing her an injury.

I assume Denver is also affected. I really want that miniseries focusing on Denverians during Secret Wars.

Colossus tries to tell Johnny that Zsaji has been hurt but Johnny’s attentions are elsewhere.

Human Torch: “I -- I’ve got no time for a chippie now! Reed’s hurt! I’ll send her a card later!”

Geez, Johnny.

Anyway, the fight between DOOM and the Beyonder is so so devastating that its threatening to snuff out the sun.

Which, if nothing else, is impressively bonkers.

But wherever Doom falters, the Beyonder doubles his assault.

Turns out that absorbing the energy of a spaceship the size of a solar system doesn’t make you a match for a guy that can casually wipe out a galaxy.

Doom: “Th-thus -- ? Thus falls Doom? No! No! What is pain to one such as I? I -- I will shut it out. Other men fall prey to the very spectre of death... when her cold embrace seems imminent... they simply swoon into her arms! But I... I am Doom! I -- I deny you, death! Victor von Doom must not die!”

He says this after his leg falls off. For the sake of context.

The world-shaking pauses and an image of Doom appears before the assembled heroes. Trying to come off as confident but blatantly holding his hat.

Doom: “Greetings! I am Doctor Doom! ... Though I am far more than the being you once knew! Indeed, I have transcended mortality -- and yet, I am your champion -- fighting for your sakes! I am about to crush the Beyonder!”

“The Beyonder, in his cosmic arrogance abducted us all and brought us here to do battle for his amusement! ‘Slay your enemies...!’ He said -- but in truth, he is the real enemy!”

“While he can reach us, our universe is not safe from his manipulations! He must be utterly defeated and sealed away beyond the portal before -- or destroyed! In the name of all who exist in our universe, I, Doom, have dared to attack the Beyonder!”

“The battle has gone well. Even now, the Beyonder cringes in terror, marshalling his failing strength against my final assault! Hence, this lull in the strife -- which has allowed me to appear to you and offer you the chance to share in my glorious conquest. Lend me your power! Hasten his certain defeat! Come! Who will join me against our common foe? You have but to touch my hand! Who shall be first?”

“To him, after our victory, I shall grant power beyond measure -- with which to further his noble purposes, of course! You know I speak the truth! You feel it, do you not?”

I mean, Doom has a point. The Beyonder IS the real enemy. If the heroes refuse to kill anyone, the Beyonder is never going to let them go home. Unless this is a secret test of character but nothing I’ve seen would lead me in that direction.

It’s just. Its Doom. Who would trust him with EVEN MORE PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER?

Magneto immediately steps forward to offer his power to Doom’s service (womp womp) but he meets Xavier’s gaze and hesitates.

Long enough for several Avengers to tackle him away from Doom.

Proving his claim that the fight is definitely in the bag, Doom can’t maintain his GoFundMe hologram and fades away.

Hawkeye, one of the Avengers that tackled Magneto, starts yelling at the X-Men about the company they keep and what it will take for them to realize Magneto is a dick.

But Captain America interrupts Clint. He says that everyone was tempted by what Doom was offering and goes so far as to speculate that Doom was applying some sort of mind control to them and that Magneto just got the biggest dose.

This is all pretty unsubstantiated but he also does point out that Magneto hesitated to grab Doom’s hand and dammit that counts for something.

Meanwhile, Doom is having a bad time.

Trying to crowdfund a Beyonder defeat having not met its goal by the deadline, Doom is at the mercy of the Beyonder.

But the Beyonder is a curious cuss.

I mean, obviously. Why put on a Secret War unless you’re bored and curious.

The Beyonder starts prying into Doom’s brain and forces Doom to remember his ENTIRE BACKSTORY so he can watch.

You probably know it. Roma youth. His mom killed for witchcraft and her soul trapped by Mephisto. Doom studies magic and science to try to contact her. Makes a hellevator device that blows up in his face.

The Beyonder pries into Doom’s desires for: power over the destinies of other men, for freedom for his mom’s spirit, and for his putting on the piping hot mask face to be restored.

All these desires fascinate the Beyonder and he takes his dissection of the Beyonder to an unfortunately literal level and starts flaying Doom to peep his organs.

Meanwhile, the biggest shock yet hits Battleworld and Doombase starts shaking apart.

Captain America goes to free the villains trapped in their cells and finds Wolverine there who agrees that they shouldn’t leave the villains to die in cages, no matter what they’ve done. Magneto is also helping evacuate the captured villains from the medical wing.

Wolverine: “Don’t take this wrong... But you’re a better man than I gave you credit for! I’m an attacker an’ you’re a defender -- but we’re both soldiers! I’m beginnin’ to think you got room in your high-falutin’ ideals for all people... don’tcha -- ? Even if they’re mutants!”

Captain America: “Some of my best friends are people!”

Hah!

Anyway, RIP Doombase. You had a name and that’s more than I can say of the initial hero base or Magneto’s U-fort.

The shaking stops and a glowing orb of light floats down from space in front of the collected heroes.

Oh my god! The rest of the characters are 4-inch figures but Doom is rocking 24 inches and full articulation!

The heroes prepare to fight the Giant-Sized Doctor Doom but Doom bwoop bwoop bwoops back down to their scale and explains that absorbing the Beyonder caused him to be big because of reasons but he’s got a better handle on it now.

Its not shown on panel but remember Doom had his secret anti-Beyonder weapon hidden inside his armor and the Beyonder got real close when he was dissecting Doom. Which Doom regained consciousness during. So that’s how he did it.

Doom: “First, know you these things... The Beyonder no longer exists... and Doom has been reborn! Thus, have two evils come to an end! There is no enemy left to fight! THE WAR IS OVER!”

Caption: “Nonetheless, we strongly suggest that you read the next issue of Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars on sale in thirty days!!”

Hah.

March, 1985

... AND DUST TO DUST!

I’ll give Marvel Super Heroes TM Secret Wars TM #11 this. It promises and teases THE FACE OF DOOM right on the cover and dammit, it delivers.

Gaze upon his generic attractiveness. He looks like Peter Parker having a wild eyebrow day.

I suppose the real surprise is that he fixed up his scarred face, which puts him two checkmarks into his three greatest desires.

He’s the supreme being in the universe and he’s got a face to match.

In a very reassuring manner, Doom tells the assembled heroes that he could destroy them all with a thought and then doesn’t bother destroying them.

Over in the distance, the freed villains see Doom talking with the heroes and Absorbing Man decides that Doom is selling out to the heroes. The other villains get their dander up at this and debate going over and kicking Doom’s ass.

Volcana: “I don’t know what to think, Owie! Doom is the one who made me into Volcana which is wonderful -- but, gee, he does seem to be double-crossing us!”

Molecule Man: “And I had such faith in him! I believe in him! I -- I’m furious!”

Volcana: “Now, Owie, remember your analyst said it wasn’t good to get overwrought!”

Molecule Man: “I don’t care what she said! I’m going to kill that lying, two-faced, rotten fink! Do you hear me, Doom? The Molecule Man is going to kill you!”

Then Molecule Man flips up several billion tons of the planet’s crust so he can have a conversation with Doom.

Doom just shows Molecule Man the foundations of eternity, the secrets of the universe, how all things work so that Molecule Man can realize that he is the second mightiest in the universe, after Doom.

Doom: “Think! Every molecule, every iota of matter in the cosmos answers to our whim! And all the forces which govern substance bend to your will -- for matter and energy are one and the same! The only limits on your power are those which you have imposed upon yourself, subconsciously because of self-doubt... self-hate... fear! Open your mind to the majesty of your power, Owen Reece! Accept your destiny... and fear no more!”

Molecule Man: “I -- I can control organic molecules! I can do... anything!”

Well.

This bodes something.

Doom then takes off and an amazed Molecule Man declares that he’s now the leader of the villain group. And considering he can peel the planet’s crust in a fit of pique, nobody really wants to say nay.

Molecule Man apparently didn’t want to hurt anyone so when he peeled up the crust, it somehow didn’t hurt any of the heroes. Just relocated them very insistently. Although if they stayed put they’d suffocate from the thin atmosphere.

They return to Doombase, which is somehow still standing. But aside from recapping the series, they really don’t know what to do until Doom makes himself known again.

The villains retreat to the suburb of Denver, Colorado and to the apartment belonging to Marsha Rosenberg (Volcana).

They decide that they don’t actually care about the Secret Wars anymore and just want to go home. And Molecule Man, being a good leader, decides to make this happen for everyone.

Man. I hope none of Denver’s population went wandering outside suburb limits before Molecule Man domed the suburb and chucked it into space.

The heroes spot it happening on their instruments (and because a chunk of planet being ejected into space causes a rumble) but there’s nothing they can really do about it. So Cap suggests everyone sleep on it.

Colossus can’t sleep because he keeps thinking about how deeply he is in love with Zsaji. So he ditches to zip to her village on an air jetski.

Missing a blob of light enter the Doombase and possess the Hulk.

Possessed Hulk lumbers around the base like a sleepwalker, being found by Spider-Woman who can’t sleep for worrying about her hometown of Denver.

She tries to stop Hulk with her psychic webs but he busts through and shoves her to the ground. The weird light blob goes from Hulk to Spider-Woman.

Hulk goes back to sleep and possessed Spider-Woman creeps into Doom’s lab and the discarded head of Klaw.

But there’s a flash of light and soon a confused Spider-Woman is telling the other heroes that Doom showed up, reassembled Klaw, unfroze Captain Marvel, oh and engraved an invitation to the heroes to meet him tomorrow at his sweet new tower.

Klaw: “I told you once -- ! I am my wildest dream! Dream! Eem, eem, eem...”

Doom: “I shall miss dreaming...”

He tells Klaw that he does not need sleep anymore and doesn’t dare sleep anymore because of the power contained in him.

Meanwhile, Colossus arrives at Zsaji’s hut while she’s sleeping and invites himself inside. Its creepy or romantic, shrug. She wakes up, he gives her flowers, and confesses he loves her.

Not really understanding the words but getting the gist, Zsaji seems into it.

I guess she gave up on Johnny. Or her people are polygamous.

Later, Wolverine and Nightcrawler gossip about Colossus’ love life. Neither very sympathetic about Colossus cheating on Kitty Pryde.

You’d think they’d also be unsympathetic about the age gap but eh.

Wolverine is also convinced that Colossus isn’t even REALLY in love with Zsaji, that its just a side-effect of her healing power. PLUS, she’s an alien so who knows what love means to her.

Hm. This really does look like a job for Cipher.

The non-Colossus heroes all go to meet Doom at THE TOWER OF DOOM, where Doom is quick to reiterate that they have nothing to worry about with Doom now possessing phenomenal cosmic power.

Doom: “Much has changed, Captain America! Much indeed! For, when I usurped the Beyonder’s power, slaying him -- in a way, Doom died as well! Now, I am all-powerful! I have nothing to prove to lesser creatures -- and none are my equal! I am complete... serene in my omnipotence! The dark, seething desires which once drove and shaped Doom are no more! Nothing in this universe -- nothing of which you can conceive, no matter how cosmic in scope -- could possible merit my attention! For as Eternity is to you... I am to Eternity! I have transcended all concerns of this plane of existence -- and, yet... we have unfinished business! Loose ends, if you will, left over from my mortal life! I cannot undo all of the evil works of my life without unraveling a great deal of the fabric of reality, causing enormous upheavals in the time/space continuum -- ! I can, though, easily set right some of the crimes of these few days past...”

Its good to see that Doom didn’t let becoming the unchallenged supreme being of the universe change him, at least in regards to words words words.

Anyway, he reintegrates Kang and sends the very confused future man home to the future.

He tells the heroes that Galactus has already been found and aided by his herald, Nova.

Which just leaves the wrong that Doom has done the heroes. He offers them a boon to atone for the suffering they’ve endured at his hands.

The heroes debate what to ask for. Spider-Man suggests that Doom can send them home only for Reed, perhaps peevishly, to remark that he can get them home. Nightcrawler suggests that Doom could find Lockheed, who was part of the intro cast but went missing near the beginning. But Captain America tells Doom that they want nothing from him.

Doom: “Very well! Our dealings are ended! Forever! Leave, now as you entered! Soon I shall ascend to higher planes! Until then -- and mark this -- I will not suffer any disturbance! Go... and do not seek to enter my presence again, for I will utterly destroy any who dare!”

Wow.

His magnanimity sure is short-lived.

The heroes do leave but outside Cap(tain America. Captain Marvel hasn’t had a line since she was unfrozen, I think) does a headcount and Spider-Woman is missing.

Despite the risk of Doom making good on his word to kill anyone that disturbs him, Cap won’t leave a comrade behind and reenters THE TOWER OF DOOM.

Cap stumbles onto Doom chilling with his shirt, mask, and boots off and luckily Doom is either in a good mood or hasn’t counted Captain America as leaving yet.

Captain America tells Doom that Spider-Woman is missing so Doom sends Klaw to go find her.

Klaw goes looking for Spider-Woman but runs into one of her webs. The missing, possessed hero grabs Klaw and transfers the blob of light to him.

Back at Doom having dressed up, maybe feeling awkward about being casual in front of anyone who isn’t Klaw, Doom reveals to Captain America that his mom’s spirit is being held captive by Mephisto and that Doom plans to free her.

Doom: “Is that little enough to ask? Little enough self-solicitude -- ? To free my mother’s soul from endless torment at the hands of an extra-dimensional demon! After that... it is as I said -- no affair of men -- or demons -- could possibly gain my notice!”

Cap comments that Doom is looking pretty human but Doom says its for everyone else’s protection that he keeps the power contained, lest he accidentally wipe out solar systems and galaxies.

Doom: “While I linger on this plane, I am like a giant on a world of ants! Every slight movement I make can seal the destinies of millions! I... do not wish to destroy anyone!”

Klaw returns and tells Cap where to find Spider-Woman so Cap goes off to retrieve her.

The heroes all take off back to Doombase and Cap asks Professor X to summon Colossus because there’s a decision to be made that everyone has to be present for.

Which leads to this delightful scene of Professor X interrupting Colossus as he’s making out with Zsaji.

Despite Colossus telling Xavier to buzz off, Xavier insists that Colossus return and alas duty before booty. Or something.

When Colossus arrives, the heroes all assemble in a conference room that Cap managed to find in Doombase.

Wasp doesn’t see the problem with Doom wanting to rescue his mother and Cap agrees that its a very humane and human thing to want and that in other circumstances Cap would have volunteered to help him.

But its the human that bothers Cap.

It gets back to Jim Shooter’s themes from his non-consecutive Avengers runs. Graviton, Nefaria, Korvac, Molecule Man, and Moondragon.

Godlike power in the hands of the all too human.

Captain America: “Doom claims he’s transcended all human desire! What if he hasn’t? We’ve seen the power of the Beyonder -- Doom’s power -- in action before! It is such power that even now, nothing in the universe can take place without his consent! That kind of authority rightfully belongs to... no man! No matter how enlightened or benevolent he’s become, freedom to do what Doom allows is not freedom!”

Cap is edging very close to ‘attack and dethrone god’ and I don’t know if he means to.

But as Cap points out, the first thing Doom did with his new power was to repair his face. Awfully human-like vanity.

Mr. Reed Fantastic concedes what Cap is getting at and agrees they need to force Doom to give up his power. And where Reed goes, so goes the rest of the Fantastic Three.

Which doesn’t tell you whether its a good idea or not considering they were both behind ‘let Galactus eat us all’ when Reed suggested it.

But the Avengers, the spiders, the Hulk, and the X-Men all agree as well.

Colossus is the last person to speak up and he suggests that if they attack Doom unprompted, maybe they’re the dicks. Doom may never harm them, may do what he’s said he’ll do and ascend to a higher plane of existence and contemplate gluons or whatever.

Captain America: “You may be right, son! I’m not dead certain about any of this! That’s why it must be a unanimous vote... or we do nothing! Don’t think you must agree! The choice is yours... Keep in mind, by the way, that if we do decide to confront Doom, it’s possible that we might be annihilated on the spot by a bolt from the blue!”

Wow, Cap isn’t just telling Colossus he can vote how he likes and not feel he must go with the majority. He’s also giving good reasons NOT to vote with the majority.

That Cap. He loves democracy so much.

Colossus struggles because he’s just found love and happiness and he never got to finish making out. And he’s being asked to possibly throw that all away unnecessarily!

Cap still won’t press Colossus one way or another so Colossus has to speak from the heart.

Colossus: “Forgive me, Zsaji... I say yes... We fight!”

He chose........... poorly?

Wonder what the last issue will be about now that half the cast is dead. Ignoring that we see several of these people alive in an issue set after this but published before.

Ignoring that. I wonder what the last issue will be about.

Good thing we don’t have to wait.

April, 1985

“...NOTHING TO FEAR...”

Okay, see, this is just making me wonder harder.

Hm. I also wonder if this is the first big moment where Captain America’s America Shield gets broken for dramatic effect. I know it happens again in Infinity Gauntlet but that’s some years away.

Anyway, yeah. The twenty-one hero characters and Magneto (twenty-one feels like A LOT, geez) have been totally killed forever and they will certainly stay dead.

To Zsaji’s alarm, since in a bit of establishing relative positions, she can see Doombase from the mountain near her village that Galactus set up his planet-eating equipment on.

Over at THE TOWER OF DOOM, Doom contains the power again.

Klaw: “Seal up the power -- god’s might in a can! Thus, Doom is just another man! But why?”

Doom: “Lest in a careless moment, a casual flick of my little figner might blacken a star system, or wipe out an intergalactic civilization. Lest, like Vishnu. ‘I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.’ This universe is too fragile!”

Klaw: “Such power! Such weight upon your shoulders! Poor Doom!”

Klaw questions whether the heroes are REALLY dead but Doom insists on it.

Meanwhile, Denver floating through space towards Earth.

I wanted to question... like... how much oxygen or food a Denver chunk could contain but Molecule Man laughs at logistics. He can just turn space dust into whatever he needs.

Man, Molecule Man would be great to have on a generation ship.

The villains are still chilling out in Volcana’s apartment, instead of taking over the largest building or whatever. Nice thing about Molecule Man being boss is that he doesn’t really approve of all of that.

Enchantress locks herself in the bathroom because dammit, sometimes you just need alone time to consult with a water elemental for some juicy exposition.

Because its issue 12 and we don’t know anything about the Beyonder really and Doom has already eaten him up so its now or never.

Honestly, time should have been budgeted for it earlier but what can you do.

The water elemental knows some things by gossiping with other spirits asks as price for her exposition that Enchantress “grant me power to walk through fields of flowers as mortals do” but Enchantress just threatens her into it.

She’s not a great boss.

Water Elemental: “In his realm, the Beyonder was everything and everything was him... and he was content! But by chance, an event in our universe opened a pinhole into his beyond-realm -- and through the pinhole he glimpsed the Earth! For the first time in his existence he became curious! So, he began to observe! For years, he watched the Earth! One thing confounded him above all else -- this incompleteness beings of our universe seemed to have -- this thing called... desire!”

So the Beyonder chose subjects of power, presence and palpable desire. The three P’s. And then he either raptured or lured into his game. The Beyonder sorted them according to the nature of their desires, which is why Magneto ended up with the heroes. Because his desire for mutantkind is like the altruistic desires of the heroes. Vs the personal desires of the villain group.

The Water Elemental recaps the war, including an image of Enchantress getting punched by She-Hulk, probably to piss her off. Yadda yadda, Doom played the larger game while everyone was doing punches and managed to usurp the Beyonder.

Water Elemental: “May I go down the drain now, please?”

Except no. Enchantress is still a bad boss and demands that the elemental use her rapport with the water on Battleworld to tell Enchantress whats going on now.

The elemental says she doesn’t have the power to do that so Enchantress dunks the elemental and boils some power into her.

Enchantress sees images of the heroes being effortlessly slaughtered, Klaw waiting on Doom as he relaxes, and Doom planning to invade Mephisto’s realm.

The last question Enchantress asks the rather haggard looking elemental is whether the Beyonder is truly dead.

Water Elemental: “N-no... he is close by Doom. But too weak to act... He is hiding where Doom would never suspect, awaiting an opportunity... a moment of vulnerability.”

Humorously, during this scene, the Absorbing Man starts banging on the bathroom door and asking Enchantress if she fell in.

In the living room, the Lizard is getting antsy about being cooped up.

Lizard: “RRAWRR! Out! Lizard wantss out of thiss humanss’ nesst! Musst be in sswamp! Lizard hates humanss!”

The Wrecking Crew just want to kill Lizard to spare the hassle but Volcana sticks up for him because its in her nature to take care of things. And in the same way he demonstrated with Wasp, Lizard folds into surly obedience as soon as someone is firm but nice with him.

Lizard isn’t the only one that’s antsy, as Dock Ock starts complaining and smashing the walls about how unlikely it is that they’ll ever reach home.

Doctorpus Octopus: “Don’t you fools realize the odds against us ever reaching Earth? An ant dropped in the middle of the Sahara would stand a better chance of getting to Hawaii!”

Molecule Man wanders in and tries to calm down the doctorpus while Enchantress lures Volcana away from the crowd.

Enchantress has decided that its time for Volcana to repay her debt for portaling her over to Molecule Man’s side after he was Wolverine’d. And the blank check cost she’s decided on is for Volcana to help Enchantress return to Asgard immediately to warn her people about the danger that Beyonder Doom poses.

And Volcana can help by ‘donating’ her life-force to power the teleport. And by donate, of course, she means, mystically contractually obligated.

Elsewhere, Molecule Man shows Doc Ock that he’s restored the stars in the galaxy that the Beyonder wiped out and that he’s been learning to do spacewarps too. And that’s how they’ll get home.

Doc Ock has some doubts so Molecule Man wraps him up in a nice, weighted blanket of asphalt and plans to turn him over to the authorities when they get back because he’s beginning to suspect that this supervillain may in fact may not be emotionally healthy.

Molecule Man realizes that Volcana isn’t around and Lizard who saw Enchantress pied piper her away leads MM to interrupt the Enchantress before she can finish draining Volcana or making fat jokes.

She makes a lot of fat jokes. Ffs Amora.

Enchantress teleport flees back to Battleworld but Lizard jumps after her and gets caught up in it.

He scratches her face so she throws him off a cliff.

And since mystically speaking, the Lizard counts as a “lower creature” Enchantress can just rip away his life-force and use it to fix her face and power an uncertain teleport to Asgard.

RIP the Lizard. Although I’m pretty sure you bounce back from this.

Meanwhile, in THE TOWER OF DOOM, Doom is napping while Klaw creeps on him creepily but Doom wakes up and yells at Klaw for letting him sleep.

Why, who knows what his subconscious would do with the Beyonder’s power in his dreams!

Klaw suggests hey maybe Doom would accidentally revive the heroes. Or maybe he already did? Hm?? In fact, Klaw has a theory and he’s going to use his sound hologram powers to put on a little demonstration for Doom.

He posits that Zsaji saw the destruction Doom wrought on Doombase (which we do know that she did do). She finds the... uh chunks that remain of the heroes and uses her healing powers to put them in stasis where cellular life still lingers. But she finds Colossus less damaged than the rest because he instinctively shifted to his armored form at the last instant. Surely his armored skin is better armor than, say, the Thing’s rock skin or Iron Man’s armor.

The story Klaw is telling works better this way so surely it is so.

Zsaji manages to bring Colossus wholly back to life, at the cost of her own.

A grief-stricken Colossus shoves Reed Richards into a healing tank (his elastic body also less damaged than the rest because sure, Reed Richards is more durable than the Hulk, we can just say anything).

So Reed is restored and he uses the technology of Doombase to invent a mass healing device and restores the rest of the heroes.

Klaw: “And they’re on their way here right now! The end... maybe!”

Doom: “Absurd! That couldn’t happen! The odds are impossible!”

Klaw: “Perhaps... but maybe you sort of... helped things along... Maybe you secretly subconsciously wanted them to survive... to rise from the ashes and live again!”

Doom: “You speak madness, Klaw!”

Klaw doubts though because Doom didn’t completely atomize the heroes and suggests turning on his god-mode and verifying that the heroes are really dead.

But now Doom is worried that having heard Klaw spell out a possible way for the heroes to be alive, his slightest doubt might make it so.

(I mean, I’m pretty sure that the light blob that’s possessing Klaw is the Beyonder who is gaslighting Doom for Reasons.)

Doom: “This is madness! I must drive these thoughts, these doubts, from my mind! They are dead! Dead! Dead! And yet... How many times in the past have I thought that Reed Richards was dead? And, if there were one man who might overcome the odds... is it not Captain America? No... no! THEY ARE DEAD!”

Klaw: “Then, again...”

Doom lets the Beyonder power well up but he can’t control it and it starts blasting Battleworld to shit and nearly destroyed all of reality. Doom can’t get his mind ordered and calm.

Klaw offers to destroy the heroes for Doom so Doom grants him “an infinitesimal micro-fraction” of his power, “enough to blacken ten thousand suns.”

GEEZ. I know that the Beyonder was established as being the strongest being in the universe, having come from a universe where all was the Beyonder. But that’s still very alarming.

The heroes rush in because after being murdered in an instant once already, subtlety is out the window.

Klaw intercepts them with a summoned army of monsters and also Ultron. Yes, Ultron is back, back again. Tell a friend. Tell them OH MY GOD RUN.

Then there’s a big two-page spread of everyone attacking everyone because that’s the kind of story this is.

Rad.

The Thing reverts back to meat man Ben Grimm but manages to will power the rocks back on and decides now he can control the changes and starts crying because this is everything he’s ever wanted.

Hulk goes punchies on Ultron but the robot does a plot injury to Hulk’s leg and for an encore makes Iron Man, Wolverine, and Spider-Woman look stupid before just falling apart.

Thanks to Wasp shrinking down, flying in one of the Hulk punch dents and just yanking wires. Yay, Wasp did a thing!

Also, she beat Ultron. She deserves to. Shame that not more can be made of it as a beat, what with everything going on.

Captain America manages to slip past all the monsters and jump kick his way past Klaw, although Klaw threw that little encounter.

Cap reaches where Doom is once again chilling, although this time with his clothes on.

Doom brags that there’s nothing that the heroes can do to harm him in any way, after all, what is a man to one who is omnipotent?

Captain America: “I wouldn’t be too sure about that! After all... you conquered the Beyonder! And why would you have gone through the trouble of killing us in the first place, unless... you were afraid!”

Doom doesn’t like having holes poked in his arguments so he kamehamehas Cap into ashes.

But Cap respawns out of sheer ‘I can do this all day’ness and charges at Doom to be blasted and respawned again.

Okay, so its Klaw who keeps respawning Cap, while letting Doom think its his own stolen power running out of control that keeps doing it.

And having Cap keep popping back into existence and trying to hit him in the face with a metal disc makes Doom lose his every last shit.

The power starts to overtake him and threaten the universe so Cap offers his hand, to serve as an anchor to reality for Doom.

Oh, hey. Just like Cap offered Doom his hand in the first issue but Doom turned it down because he hates pity.

But now, with omnipotence raging out of control, Doom reaches to accept Cap’s hand.

Thems some nice bookends.

Except the feeble remnant of the Beyonder that’s been body hopping bursts out of Klaw and reclaims his power from Doom.

Unpossessed Klaw: “Doom! Doom! Forgive me, Doom! The Beyonder, he took over my body -- ! He used my guile, my wits, my cunning to engineer this! I set you up for this! Doom -- ! I’m so sorry!”

The Beyonder reverts Doom’s armor (and face) back to how it was and then ejects him from the plot. Klaw jumping in to be with his master.

Actually, the Beyonder nopes out of the plot as well. Just kinda abandons this grand experiment into the concept of desire.

And to be fair, half the competitors fucked off. The other half refused to actually kill. And one of the competitors jumped off the board game to steal the Beyonder’s wallet.

At that point, escaping before you have to answer any questions is the right move.

With the fight over, there’s just a whole bunch of wrap-up.

Colossus has a funeral for Zsaji and buries her on the hill overlooking Doombase because fuck those villagers, she probably didn’t have any friends or loved ones who should have a say in this.

While RICHARDSS goes to work on a way home, Spider-Man swings around Doombase for a snack of alien eggplant. Then finds everyone else in the costume making machine room where Professor X has.

Uh.

Made some fashion choices.

Won’t anybody stop him?

Anyway, he intends to keep undermining Storm when they get back to Earth. What a guy.

Spider-Man also learns that none of their costumes respond to thought like his new black costume does and wonders what’s different about his.

Hulk’s leg was busted up by being Ultron’d and his gamma levels have risen so much that they’d short out the healing pods. So Reed makes Hulk a techno crutch and leg brace to help him get around until his natural healing factor takes care of things.

He’s not very pleased at the situation though and snaps at Hawkeye, leading Hawkeye to a thought that hits a lot different post Civil War II.

Hawkeye: “Whoa! Has he ever changed in the last few days! I think he’s losing it -- becoming totally savage and out of control again! Man, I hope I’m wrong! Maybe I’d better make myself a few more arrows -- some real heavy-duty ones -- just in case!”

Curt Connors wanders in and tells a story about waking up in a crater a few miles from the fortress. He says that he’s sure this time the lizard-persona is totally gone forever for reals.

Nightcrawler says its good that Connors found them before they departed so he wouldn’t get left behind, then mentions that Lockheed the dragon would return.

And boom! Lockheed the dragon returns with a lady dragon!

He’s been getting laid this whole time, the little scamp! I assume! Either way, he has contributed absolutely nothing to anything that happened.

Reed decides that Lockheed and Connors showing up isn’t just a coincidence, that the Beyonder left some trace energy behind when he quit the plot. And that the energy is causing a wish fulfillment phenomenon (which sorta makes sense if you think of it like the promise Beyonder promised to fulfill the winners’ desires?)

Mr. Fantastic: “I believe that this... ‘wish fulfillment’ phenomenon we’ve been experiencing is an after-effect of the battle against Doom! The planet itself seems to have been charged with residual energy whichs seems to respond to strong desire, or force of will!”

Cap(tain America) immediately takes off to where he’s keeping all the fragments of his broken shield that he’s been able to find and wishes REALLY hard for it to be fixed.

“It was the product of a freak metallurgical accident -- a metallic disk of unknown composition, and unique properties -- utterly impervious to any force or instrument which humans comprehend. But now it lies before him like a wounded friend... How many times has it saved his life? And now... it’s usefl life is at an end, for no fire could melt it, no furnace could reforge it. It is forever broken... unless by force of will... or sheer desire... He can accomplish the impossible!”

Hey, how about that!

I mean, you could have wished Bucky back to life but on the other hand, it’s a real sweet shield. I get it.

Although, in terms of the pre-post Secret Wars issue teasing what could happen in it (Hulk with a leg brace, She-Hulk with the FF, Spider-Man’s new costume), I really think that Steve should have returned from Battleworld with the broken shield.

Almost everything that’s gonna be brought back from Secret Wars is going to have to be abandoned or turn out to be evil.

It’s going to turn out (years later, mind) that Steve fixed his shield bad with his FORCE OF WILL and that for some reason, imperfections in the shield threaten to destroy ALL VIBRANIUM.

And that’s a decent story, probably.

Just saying, you could have Cap return with a broken shield and get that ‘how did that happen’ hype. Its a really intriguing idea. Although, I’d bet that breaking Cap’s shield was only thought up after the pre-post Secret Wars issues had already been done so it had to be introduced and rectified in Secret Wars itself.

Some other things that didn’t last long from Secret Wars: we already know the black goo costume didn’t even last through Secret Wars. The modifications Reed made to the Iron Man armor stop working when Rhodey returns to Earth, then they evolve into the evil Carnivor and fights Quasar in Quasar. Hulk ditches his leg brace two issues after his return to Earth. Connors turns himself back into the Lizard to save his family a couple years after Secret Wars. And so on.

So the time comes to return everyone back to Earth with the device Reed made. It teleports them in small groups up to the ring-shaped construct that got them to Battleworld where it will teleport them to Earth.

Reed beams up the unaffiliated group first of Spider-Man, Spider-Woman, Curt Connors, Hulk, and Magneto who decided he’s too cool to hang with the X-Men on the ride home.

Next, the X-Men. Although they have to talk Colossus into coming home instead of being sad on a hill forever by convincing him that he’d be wasting the life Zsaji gave him if he didn’t come home.

Colossus letting Xavier talk him into sticking with the X-Men over greater and greater personal losses eventually becomes a sore point.

Lockheed’s girlfriend flies into the teleport as Reed initializes it, causing a dramatic energy fluctuation that Reed hopes won’t cause any problems on Earth.

It does.

Puff the tiny dragon becomes Puff the enormous dragon, and menaced Japan in her quest to mate with Lockeed. The X-Men had to fight her and Lockheed eventually rejected the now much bigger dragon causing her to explode.

Although she came back to life at some point and she and Lockheed did get back together.

X-Men is a weird book.

The Avengers are up next but She-Hulk tells them that she’s joining the Fantastic Four. Now this happened because Byrne made grabby hands at her and Stern didn’t say no but its not really satisfactorily built-up in this story.

Ben and She-Hulk don’t share many moments to establish that they have a good friendship that he could ask her to take his place on the team. In fact, the last time I know of them teaming up, she was a huge sex pest to him. So it makes it even more baffling.

But it happened in the pre-post issue so its gotta happen.

And Ben asks Jen (maybe the similar names is why he asks her? They can get away with only changing a single letter on his locker) because he’s going to stay behind on Battleworld because he can control his powers here.

He’s not planning on being here forever and Reed can leave the gizmo so Ben can return whenever he wants.

What makes this stupid is that like almost everything involving Ben, Reed knows a lot more about what’s going on and just doesn’t say anything. He starts to but doesn’t insist when Ben tells him not to try to change his mind.

The thing about the Thing is that Ben should always have been able to Rock On or Rock Off as he pleased but there’s a psychological block preventing it.

Ben would lose this control before leaving Battleworld and he quits the FF when he learns that Reed knew that it was a psychological issue.

Mr. Fantastic: “If only I could tell him what I suspect about his transformations -- but it’s the kind of thing that might shatter a man... even a strong man like Ben! No, better to say nothing... and hope he slowly discovers the truth for himself... Or hides from it forever!”“

Geez.

You’re so bad at people.

Anyway. Yeah. Needed some more build-up. Maybe centered around the transformation. Jen could sympathize. She used to have trouble controlling her hulk outs before she just decided to be She-Hulk all the time.

Anyway, this big ridiculous thing (the last issue was 43 PAGES LONG) ends with Ben being thoughtful on a rock.

And that brings us back to Avengers #243.

I guess he’s not alone because Zsaji’s village is still here, maybe? Is nobody going to send them home??

Follow @essential-avengers​ because FINALLY I can get back to just focusing on the Avengers. Phew. Please like and reblog. This took so much effort.

[bbclesmis]

Sydney Morning Herald: Lily Collins on outshining dad Phil and her new blockbuster role

Lily Collins is in a good place right now, the best place, perhaps, in her quietly glittering career. The British-American actor, 29, has the sort of resumé – movie star, fashion icon, proper published author – that might make her an object of envy were she not so grounded, so very relatable. But it's her forthcoming, wildly praised role as Fantine, that oh-so-tragic young factory worker, in a six-part BBC adaptation of Victor Hugo's famed 1862 novel, Les Misérables, that looks set to send her stratospheric.

"It's a role I've been preparing for all my life," says Lily, hazel eyes dancing under big, beautiful brows. "I mean, I read the book at school" – that's Harvard-Westlake School in Los Angeles – "but if I had known I was going to play Fantine one day, I would definitely have paid more attention!"

“It’s the things that make you different that end up making you unique.”

She gives a smile. "Fantine drives the story at the beginning and her essence and memory continue throughout the series. To me she represents everlasting hope in times of darkness, no matter what the time period."

There have been several versions of Les Misérables, of course, the most famous being the musical that is still playing on Broadway and in London's West End, and the similarly sung-through 2012 movie starring Hugh Jackman and Russell Crowe, with Anne Hathaway as Fantine.

A sweet-natured grisette (young, working-class Frenchwoman), Fantine's seduction by an older student, the charming cad Felix (Johnny Flynn in the BBC series), results in her falling pregnant and struggling to survive as a single mother. Conned by her child's carers, destitute and desperate, she falls on hard times. Fantine is an iconic character, and one that miniseries director Tom Shankland encouraged Lily to make her own.

"Tom told me to forget every other Les Mis I'd seen and just go back to the writing," says Lily of this song-free version, scripted by Andrew Davies (who wrote the US version of House of Cards) and is delivered in plain-spoken, vowel-dropped English despite the epic backdrop of 19th-century France (or Belgium masquerading as France) at a time of civil unrest.

"We were encouraged to bring a fresh take, to breathe life into a song lyric and make it an episode," she continues in her soft American twang. "Not everybody loves musicals. So where Fantine has a line in one of her songs that mentions her falling in love, now we get to see how it happened."

Lily is here at BAFTA (British Academy of Film and Television Arts) in central London for the premiere of Les Misérables, the cast of which includes David Oyelowo, Dominic West and Olivia Colman. It's raining outside, but Lily – standing reed-slim in an ultra-tight sparkling minidress ("It's going to be tricky for me to sit down") – oozes the sunniness of California, where she has been based since the age of five, having moved there from England following her parents' divorce. The daughter of former Genesis drummer (and later singer) Phil Collins and his American second wife, Jill Tavelman, Lily might easily have fast-tracked her ascent by trading on her surname.

She hasn't, which makes her success all the sweeter. "I am super proud of my dad," she has said of her hit-maker father, who has five children by his three ex-wives (and who recently toured Australia). "But I wanted to do it on my own. People assume it's easier when you have that name but if you're the kind of person who doesn't want to use it, it's a lot harder."

Nevertheless, from her first on-screen appearance, aged two, in a BBC series called Growing Pains, Lily's rise seems to have been remarkably smooth. Performing is in her blood, after all: as a young girl she'd watch old Hollywood films, many featuring her maternal grandmother Jane Hale, a ballerina and actress, then dress up to mimic her favourite characters.

She attended the Youth Academy of Dramatic Arts in Los Angeles, taking part in musical theatre productions. She was also a teen columnist for UK magazine Elle Girl, and a socialite whose alabaster beauty caught the eye of Chanel, which dressed her in a gown for a debutante ball that featured in the reality TV show The Hills.

By 2008, Lily was in demand as a model and brand ambassador (she is currently the face of French beauty brand Lancôme) and making a name as a red-carpet correspondent and children's TV presenter. A year later, she featured as a minor character in the American teen drama series 90210 and made her film debut as Sandra Bullock's daughter in the Oscar-nominated The Blind Side.

The scripts started tumbling in, and Lily dropped out of studying broadcast journalism to take supporting roles in an action film and a thriller. In 2012, she starred in Mirror Mirror as a sword-wielding Snow White opposite Julia Roberts' evil queen.

"So Fantine is not the first time I've played a literary character with opinions," grins Lily, who lobbied for a second audition for Snow White after being unhappy with her first try-out, duly clinching the part.

"I wanted to do it on my own. People assume it's easier when you have that name but if you're the kind of person who doesn't want to use it, it's a lot harder."

There's also been sci-fi (The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones), throwback romantic-comedy drama (Warren Beatty's Rules Don't Apply, which got her a Golden Globe nomination), and the CGI-enhanced Okja, in which she played a young animal activist intent on saving her best (four-legged) friend.

And there was a lead role in the controversial anorexia drama To the Bone. It divided critics but Lily has insisted that it helped her understand her own teenage battle with eating disorders, which she detailed in her 2017 memoir, Unfiltered: No Shame, No Regrets, Just Me.

"It's very rare you get the opportunity to wear shoes you once wore with a different perspective on things," she told Vanity Fair. "This was an amazing opportunity to gain knowledge, and helped me let go a lot."

As did the writing of Unfiltered. Divulging personal information in print is one thing. Doing so when you have a famous dad and 13 million Instagram followers is another. Lily – who wrote every word herself – says she found the process liberating.

"I decided to write the book because I kept reading what people were posting on social media and thinking, 'You're so brave,' " she says. "It was a really difficult thing for me to do, but the feedback I got made it way more rewarding than I expected."

Boyfriends' names were changed in an essay on dating (if rumoured exes Zac Efron and Chris Evans are in there, she's not saying). Silliness is praised as attractive; those eyebrows, which she plucked to thin lines at school, are reclaimed and championed in all their bushy glory. And in an open letter to her father, Lily tells the 67-year-old that she "forgives" him for "not being the dad I expected", and notes the impact that her parents' famously messy divorce had on her teenage years: "I accept and honour the sadness and anger I felt towards the things you did or didn't do," she writes.

Today she'd prefer not to discuss specifics, though offers You'll Be in My Heart from the 1999 Disney animated film Tarzan when asked to choose her favourite Phil Collins song: "He wrote it as a lullaby to me as a kid," she says, re-routing the conversation to Unfiltered and the main reason she set fingers to laptop: to make young people feel less alone. The sentiment dovetails with Lily's advocacy work for charities including Bystander Revolution, an anti-bullying organisation, and the GO Campaign, which raises funds for orphans and vulnerable children.

"Open communication with teenagers is something I'm very passionate about," she says. "Speaking about insecurities and being honest about what you are going through is vital. One young woman asked me, 'But what if you know you're born different, if your quirks and interests aren't the norm? When you're a green apple when everyone else is a red one?'

"I said, 'Well, I've always loved green apples! It's the things that make you different that end up making you unique.' " She pauses for a beat. "So many kids have these deep, thoughtful questions. It doesn't matter what political, religious, sexual-orientation background you come from, we all go through the same insecurities and realising this fact is the beauty of communications."

"It's very rare you get the opportunity to wear shoes you once wore with a different perspective on things"

Additionally, by setting her own example – by putting it all out there in Unfiltered – Lily was able to let go of personal baggage, which in turn allowed her to go deeper into her characters. Forthcoming appearances include two extremes: Edith Bratt, beloved wife and muse of English writer J.R.R. Tolkien, author of The Lord of the Rings, in the biopic Tolkien, and Liz Kendall, longtime girlfriend of infamous American serial killer Ted Bundy in Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile.

"I'd just finished filming that when I jumped on a plane and flew to Brussels in winter to start Les Mis," says Lily. "My state of mind was already very dark, so when I found we were working backwards, that the end of Fantine's life was being filmed on day two of shooting, I used this weird head space to help me lean into her character."

Lily portrays Fantine, a fallen woman who sells her hair, then her teeth, then her body to earn money for her daughter, with a deft mix of steeliness, sassiness and grace. Much of the filming took place in sub-zero conditions; one memorable scene sees a shivering Fantine being physically hurled across cobblestones by police inspector Javert: "David [Oyelowo] got a bit carried away, and there were real bruises afterwards," says Lily with a grimace. "I thought, 'Well she's physically in pain, let's keep going.'

"I've never shot anything out of sequence like that but I'm so grateful because when we returned in the summer, knowing where we ended up, I got to amp up the romance. I wanted people to empathise with her as much as possible."

She flashes a smile. "Empathy," she says, "is everything."

Les Misérables premieres on BBC First on Foxtel and Fetch from March 10 at 8.30pm.

This article appears in Sunday Life magazine within the Sun-Herald and the Sunday Age on sale February 17.

https://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/celebrity/lily-collins-on-outshining-dad-phil-and-her-new-blockbuster-role-20190213-p50xf1.html

[fyeahfantasticfour]

Can you tell me the backstory behind Nathaniel Richards(Reed's father) and if possible maybe Franklin Storm(Sue and Johnny's father) as well?

Sure! First Franklin Storm because he appears in significantly fewer comics and is less complicated than the time-traveling lothario who is Nathaniel Richards.

Franklin was a famous neurosurgeon whose life fell apart after his wife died in a tragic car accident. He performed the surgery on her and failed to save her life, and of course blamed himself for all of it. (I suspect the sliding timescale would erase the surgery part at the very least – there’s no way that anyone nowadays would allow a man to operate on his own wife, especially if he’d just survived a terrible car accident.)

After his wife died, he began to drink heavily and gambled away his family’s entire fortune, leaving Johnny and Sue penniless, and, when a loan shark showed up to collect on one of his debts and pulled a gun, Franklin attacked him. The gun went off while they were struggling over it, the man died, and Franklin was sent to prison for murder, partially because he was too despondent to try to defend himself. 

Sue told Johnny their father died, and they were sent to live with their Aunt Marygay Jewel Dinkins. Sue kept lying to Johnny for YEARS about their father’s death, which is, uh, pretty messed up. There was never any real emotional fallout between Johnny and Sue over the revelation that she’d been lying to him for so long, even though there should have been.

Cut for length.

This is the backstory we get in Fantastic Four v1 #32:

How old Johnny and Sue were when their mother died and father went to jail has varied significantly over time as canon has shifted, but Johnny was likely extremely young at the time.

But, honestly, Franklin Storm checked out of being an actual father to Sue and Johnny long before he was stuck in a jail cell – even before his wife died. In Fantastic Four v1 #528, Reed speculates that Sue’s invisibility may have been a byproduct of feeling neglected by her bickering, indifferent parents:

He was never a good father.

In Fantastic Four v1 #31, Sue sees a newspaper headline saying her father escaped from jail – apparently, however, no one in the press had connected the dots between her and Johnny and their father:

Sue doesn’t mention any of this to Johnny because he still thinks his father is dead.

We’re never given an explanation for why he escaped, but when Sue’s badly injured, he shows up at the hospital and operates on her, thus saving her life and sort of, supposedly, redeeming himself for failing to save his wife. This, by the way, is how Johnny finds out his father is still alive.

Franklin operates on Sue, saves her life, and immediately gets carted back off to prison, where he’s attacked and replaced by the Super Skrull, who then escapes and goes around masquerading as him, dressed as a guy called the Invincible Man. The FF, of course, are sent to take him down, but Johnny and Sue don’t know what to do because they don’t want to hurt their father:

Reed figures out he’s an impostor, so he contacts the Skrulls and arranges a prisoner exchange – the Super Skrull for Franklin. When Franklin is teleported home in the Super Skrull’s place, however, he warns them all to stand back, rolls over, and thus shields them all from the bomb that’d been strapped to his chest. Somehow, he lives long enough to give a dying speech to his children about how he always loved them and how he hopes this all redeems him for having been a terrible father:

So, yeah, that’s the story of how Johnny and Sue had to watch their father die.

I also wonder how much of Johnny’s personality was influenced by his dad – when he’s hurting, he drinks and parties, the sacrifice play is his go-to…and, look, I’m not convinced that there isn’t a lengthy history of chronic depression in Johnny’s family that Johnny inherited.

On to Nathaniel!

Nathaniel Richards began working, in the 1950s, as a member of the Brotherhood of the Shield alongside Howard Stark. They were told that they had to abandon their families and both agreed. Howard had no qualms whatsoever, even arranging to have his death faked, but Nathaniel swore he’d come back to his son someday. Given the fact that Howard says “them,” I’m assuming Nathaniel’s wife, Evelyn, was still alive, meaning Reed had to have been younger than seven at the time, since that’s how old he was when she died. This means also that Nathaniel was likely gone a lot during Reed’s childhood.

This is from S.H.I.E.L.D. v1 #5:

….I’m beginning to wonder if Nathaniel was even around when Evelyn died. Nathaniel’s basically the guy who chose science and the greater good over family – i.e., everything Reed haters accuse Reed of being when he isn’t, and that’s in direct reaction to his father. Reed tries so hard to be a good, present father because his father wasn’t.

We know that when Nathaniel visited Reed in college a few years later, Nathaniel acted as though he hadn’t seen Reed since Reed was a child – probably since he began working for the Brotherhood. This is from Hickman’s run – Fantastic Four v1 #581:

We find out in Fantastic Four v1 #271 that Nathaniel disappeared for good about three years before the spaceflight crash and left Reed two billion dollars, which Reed used up to fund his rocket. Reed hadn’t seen him at all since then.

He clearly knew he was going to be gone for a while.

Reed and the FF find Nathaniel’s time platform in his lab at the Richards family estate, and Reed realizes that his father’s blueprints are incorrect and that he must have been shunted off into an alternate universe, so they go to rescue him. In Fantastic Four v1 #272, they discover that there’s a cruel warlord who has taken over the alternate Earth, who Reed realizes, much to his dismay, is his father. 

Yeah, this account of Reed’s childhood doesn’t entirely match up with what later writers did with Nathaniel.

But anyways, it turns out Nathaniel’s been fooled by his wife, who is actually the warlord and had been using Nathaniel’s scientific knowledge to conquer the planet. Nathaniel eventually decides to stay on this parallel world and try to make amends, and also raise his baby son, Reed’s half-brother. It turns out at the end of this issue – which is expanded upon in Avengers v1 #269 – that this reality is actually the one Kang the Conqueror is from, and that Kang, whose real name is Nathaniel Richards, is actually Nathaniel’s descendant and/or son, and thus distantly related to Reed or his half-brother. 

So Nathaniel basically went to an alternate world and started a new family, away from Reed.

Nathaniel doesn’t return until Fantastic Four v1 #375, but when he does it’s just to cause trouble. This is the characterization of Nathaniel that’s stuck. He cares about his family, but he’s almost ruthlessly practical when it comes to protecting the timestream, and he’ll lie, manipulate, and deceive his family to make that happen. Reed and Sue discover that in Fantastic Four v1 #376, when Nathaniel kidnaps his grandson in order to prevent some apocalyptic future from occurring.

Franklin returns moments later…but instead of a 5yo, he’s a teenager, raised in the future by his grandfather. Reed and Sue discover they’ve missed his entire childhood, and Sue, for one, is livid and refuses to believe it.

The FF, understandably, have a very difficult time forgiving Nathaniel for this. They mostly think of him as manipulative, self-serving, and largely uninterested in his family.

When Reed is seemingly killed in action, Nathaniel shows up for the reading of his will…and Ben clearly despises and distrusts him. From Fantastic Four: Unplugged #2:

Despite Nathaniel’s mistreatment of Reed, Reed keeps seeking his approval and love, but Nathaniel consistently denies it to him. We see this in Marvel Knights 4 #18, when Reed begs his father to stick around and actually be a parent, and Nathaniel just…leaves.

Reed always sees the best in everyone….even if it’s difficult.

We discover too that Nathaniel has been posing as Doom because he is searching for his son, who is destined to become the absolute ruler of Latveria. Sue at first assumes he means Doom, but it turns out he was talking about Kristoff, Doom’s adopted son, who is thus Nathaniel’s biological son and Reed’s half-brother.

In Fantastic Four v1 #581, we find out that an explosion that occurred while Nathaniel was working for the Brotherhood left him potentially immortal and with the ability to travel through time. Also, that it affected every Nathaniel in every universe, and that they were all ordered by Immortus and the Time Variance Authority to hunt each other down and kill each other until there’s only one left. Nathaniel gets Reed, Ben, and Victor to help him murder the final one. I am…so impressed by Nathaniel’s parenting skills. What kind of parent wouldn’t disappear for YEARS and then reappear only to ask their college-aged kid and his friends to help them murder their alternate self?

He is so bad at parenting. It’s really a wonder Reed turned out so well.

Hope that helped!

[sueboohscorner]

#Gotham Season 4 Episode 4 "The Demon's Head" Spoilers, Rate, and Review

…..I have no banter to start this episode review. So…..let’s just get to it. This is Gotham season 4 episode 4, “The Demon’s Head”.

            Bruce Wayne (David Mazouz) and Alfred Pennyworth (Sean Pertwee) take the embalming knife of the Mesopotamian King Balahsi to be inspected by an antiques expert of the natural history museum in Gotham, Niles Winthrop (Dakin Matthews) and his budding antiques expert grandson Alex (Benjamin Stockman). Both of them seem to take a very particular interest in the knife. Bruce gives them the knife to gather as much information as they can for one day.

Meanwhile, Edward Nygma (Corey Michael Smith) is residing in a creepy, poorly lit room, complete with newspapers and articles placed all over the walls, to create a good enough riddle to take out Oswald as well as prove to himself that he has not lost his Riddler touch.

            Later on that night, Winthrop takes a closer look at the knife and discovers ancient symbols on the knife that speak about “a demon’s head.” Alex asks about what the demon’s head is, and his grandfather replies that the demon’s head is not a thing, but an actual person. A thousand-year-old legend tells of a man that has the power to resurrect. That man went by the name of Ra’s al Ghul.

            It just so happens that at that moment, Ra’s al Ghul himself (Alexander Siddig) appears at the museum. Sensing that this is no ordinary guest at the museum, but an intruder, Niles orders Alex to go and hide until help arrives.

            Of course, Ra’s got word that Bruce Wayne had dropped off the embalming knife for a night in the museum, and has stopped by to procure it. Despite being interrogated and threatened, Niles does not give up information as to where the knife is. Ra’s then snaps his neck, killing him instantly, leaving Alex alone to hide and cry in the dark.

               Hours later, Jim Gordon (Ben McKenzie) is called to investigate the scene of the crime in the museum. Bruce tries to get involvedand reveals Alex’s involvement in the situation. Bruce also mentions that someone else seemed to be interested in the knife other than Ra’s: Barbara Kean (Erin Richards).

            Speaking of whom, Ra’s meets up with Barbara to introduce a man-dog like a creature named Anubis. Ra’s has brought out Anubis to track down the knife and Bruce Wayne……..seriously, look at him.

            At the Iceberg Lounge, Penguin (Robin Lord Taylor) has a meeting with Sofia Falcone (Crystal Reed), with Victor Zsasz (Anthony Carrigan) present.

            Gordon goes off to interrogate Barbara, but their meeting is awesomely interrupted by Bruce, who is very passionately angry about Ra’s putting Alex, an innocent, through the exact tragedy that Bruce is familiar with. He accuses her of working with Ra’s….so obviously, Barbara denies it with her sass.

            Jim and Bruce go to the museum library to find Alex when they’re suddenly attacked by Anubis and his new trainer and assassin (Owen Harn), who speaks in what appears to be in an ancient dialect. They are searching for the knife. He and Jim have a little scuffle and manage to beat some mess out of them and head on out to the precinct, however, Bruce and Alex have apparently escaped.

            At the precinct, speak of the Demon’s Head, Ra’s al Ghul arrives and wants to talk with Gordon under the guise of a Namba Parbat officer. (For those who do not know what that is, Namba Parbat is a place in the DC comics. Kind of like Shangri-La). While being questioned by Jim, Alfred barges in the office and goes all bad ass butler on Jim and Ra’s, demanding to know where Bruce is. After Alfred recognizes him, Ra’s seems to vanish from the area.

   Sofia meets up with a few of loyal mob members of Carmine, but are interrupted by Penguin and Victor Zsasz (Anthony Carrigan). While Zsasz takes care of the mobsters the only way, he knows how Cobblepot takes Sofia to another room to have a chat. In actuality, Cobblepot used Sofia to weed out any traitors to avoid any more competition. It’s a new Gotham. And there’s a new way of doing things. Oswald then receives another message from Edward’s messengers to have another meeting in another location since the last one was such a bust.

                Bruce and Alex manage to escape and flee to the National Museum and get the knife but are once again attacked by Anubis and the assassin. Jim Gordon arrives on the scene and takes care of both of them. Unfortunately, another guest has arrived late at the museum. Ra’s appears and holds Alex hostage at knifepoint, demanding the knife in exchange for Alex’s safety. Jim urges Bruce to give him the knife. But a very torn Bruce can’t just give Ra’s the knife. If a man that dangerous wants the knife for something, there’s no telling what may happen. Impressed by his unwilling heir, Ra’s slits Alex’s throat and lets himself be caught and taken to Blackgate Prison.

           Fed up with Oswald not showing up to either one of his riddled locations, Edward storms into his lounge, waving a gun and ranting. Oswald appears and explains to Edward that he did not show up to any location was because well….his riddles sucked. They weren’t clever and could not have one distinct answer. And in spite of Edward’s claim of them being right, his riddles were completely illogical and nonsensical. Adding insult to injury, Cobblepot points out that Edward’s intellect has been damaged and gone and that he is not the Riddler anymore. He’s barely even Edward Nygma.

            Bringing him out for an encore, Cobblepot calls out Victor Fries (Nathan Darrow) to freeze him again. Once Edward seems to be completely reluctant to be frozen again, Oswald decides not to freeze him, feeling that Edward not living and being known as the Riddler is humiliation enough than being a frozen centerpiece.

Jim and Sofia make out and do it.

            The last thing we see is Ra’s al Ghul being taken into Blackgate. Being escorted by the police and arriving at the gate, Ra’s smiles.

This episode was written by, wait for it……..are you waiting?......I hope you are, cause this episode was written by Ben Mackenzie himself! Well done! Showing off your mad directing and writing skills in Gotham.

            I know I haven’t done my likes and dislikes in a while, but this new schedule change for Gotham is still sort of causing my schedule with work and everything to become somewhat hectic, so please, bear with me for now.

            But one thing I really did love is the talk between Alex and Bruce. It had some sort of magnitude to it. It was, I guess, weirdly cool....

I’d give this episode an 8.5/10

Until next time. As always, stay weird.

[ilguna]

Belamour - Epilogue (f.o)

summary: they say the odds tend to favor those who need them. well, they were wrong.

warnings; swearing, death/murder mention.

wc; 10k

NOTES: i give reader a last name to fit the world.

–

After you won the Hunger Games, you were fully convinced that you would never get a moment of silence ever again. Elysia didn’t tell you until after you’d arrived in District Four--back when you had just come home from the games--that you’d be busy for weeks after. Your life wouldn’t return back to normal immediately, it would be gradual.

On top of all the celebrations that you were required to attend, like the Banquet with all the expensive people in and outside of your district. In your opinion, that was probably the worst to attend, and it was only slightly better because Finnick was there to help you. Then there was a holiday where entertainers from the Capitol and food was provided for everyone. And finally, the first Parcel Day, where families would all receive their own package of food for bringing home a tribute. The best part? There’s one Parcel Day for every month.

Not to mention, you spent every waking moment with Finnick. If you weren’t with Finnick, you were with some Capitol reporters that came around regularly to check up on you and your family. For a while, it seemed like they weren’t going to leave at all, which started to get Reed irritated. 

He just wanted to have a get together with Caspian’s family to finally have a small celebration between you all, but it was practically impossible when you were constantly being hounded. Finnick felt the same way, it made him squirm but he never said anything that might turn the reporters away. Reed was a whole different story.

And even after his meltdown, they didn’t consider leaving you alone until some dumbass made the mistake of trying to surprise you from behind. In return for flipping the reporter onto their back and nearly killing them after, you were then signed up for the best therapist that Reed could find.

He says that it isn’t permanent, but you need to be going every week for a while. The Hunger Games did a number on you, and it was only obvious when you had literally treated the reporter like another tribute inside of the games. In the end, you bruised Mox’s rib and nearly broke Reed’s nose.

You felt horrible for a while after, but they weren’t mad at you. It’s not your fault, you didn’t ask for any of this, it just came along with the already-shitty package. You’re just lucky that the reporters weren’t allowed to say anything on it. Otherwise, the image that the Capitol constructed for you, would be completely ruined.

So, really, you spent about a month and a half after the games, celebrating and trying not to look too terribly bad in front of the reporters. It wasn’t at all glamorous, you woke up every morning feeling worse than the last. When everything cooled down, you told Reed, Mox and Finnick that you’d need a while to yourself before even considering being around others. 

Finnick felt the same. You guys spoke when you could, but the conversations weren’t very long. By the time you came around to each other again, you’d already been moved into Victor’s Village, right next to Mags. Finnick is placed next to Anchor. The houses are huge, with more bedrooms than you know what to do with. If you really wanted to, you could fit Naida’s entire family in here. And she has five kids, one girl and four boys.

The house would be an absolute disaster, of course. But you’d still be able to fit their entire family, and maybe even Finnick’s, if you’re squeezing. Finnick only has a younger brother, Orion. Since your winning of the games, you’ve got significantly closer with his family. A lot more than you had been originally.

You thought that you were close before, when he’d bring you cookies and walk you home from school in the rain. That was really nothing, compared to this. At least once a week, you two meet up to have lunch or dinner or something, just to keep you all close. And once every two to three weeks, your two families and Naida’s will meet up in your house to have dinner.

Fifteen people, all sat at one table. When it comes to cooking, practically everyone is working together. The younger kids are all playing together in one of the spare bedrooms, and even then, there’s still people left over, with no clue what to do. It tends to be you, Finnick and Alyssum that are left alone the most often. Either in your living room or out front. The house can be quite loud a lot of the time.

After the two of you won the games, it hasn’t been the exact same as it was before. You knew that there would be differences, you’d already seen it when you had gone home for the first time with your family. The way that the neighbors, the ones you’ve known for years, would shut their curtains and for good measure, their blinds too. It made for a lonely neighborhood. 

You can’t just ask them why they have the sudden change of heart, but you suppose you could guess. As if you’ve been repeating to yourself for months now, you’re the fifteen year old girl who won the Hunger Games with one fourteen year old boy. He was the youngest victor, together you found out that you’re the youngest pair to win together. You once lived in poverty, and now you’re practically royalty. 

People are just waiting for you to stop being humble, but it’s hard to forget your roots, especially when they’re deeply embedded. You remember the nights of eating dinner by the candlelight, and the cold winters and sweltering summers. You remember the stomach pains when you had to give up your dinner for Alyssum.

You wish you could tell all of them that you’re the same. You’ve always been the same person, and you don’t have the slightest intention of changing. Not as you get older, not as your money starts piling. You’re still the same girl who used to go to The Square for soaps and ugly dresses and beat down shoes when there was no other place to go.

Maybe it isn’t you who’s changed, it’s the people around you.

Sounds like something cheesy, straight out of some romance novel.

Well, back to what you were saying about being fully convinced that you’d never get a moment left to your thoughts ever again; there’s about to be a rinse and repeat. You’ve managed to survive a couple of normal months, and it’s just about to get hectic. The winter Victory Tour is here.

The Victory Tour happens six months after the end of the Hunger Games. So, not only do districts have time to mourn and heal from the wounds of their tributes being killed, they’re now forced to reopen those wounds. And you’re going to be required to rub it in their faces.

The only reason why the Victory Tour takes place so long after the actual games is because it’s a reminder that the districts can’t fully escape the games. Sure, your tributes might have been killed in the summer, but just because it’s winter, doesn’t mean you get to have a moment of peace. What kind of ridiculous thinking is that?

It just means you’re about to spend another couple of weeks away from home. About a day in every district, starting in District Twelve and ending in District Four, since you skip over your home district. So, it would technically go from Twelve, Eleven, Ten, etc all the way to Five, then it would be Three, the career districts, and then a celebration at home. Again.

Needless to say, you hope that you’ll never have to celebrate another thing ever again in your life after this. You’re tired of the big dinners and the pats on the backs. You just want everything to return back to normal.

“Think we should head back, yet?” Finnick asks, skipping another rock across the water. He’s knee-deep, pants rolled up to keep them from getting wet, but he doesn’t care anyway. You’ll be taking a shower when you get home.

“Probably.” you tell him, but neither of you move. Finnick rubs his thumb over a smooth gray stone, showing it to you.

You barely look over in time to catch that it’s the shape of a heart. Instead of doing something romantic, like handing it to you, Finnick straight throws it, not even trying to skip the rock. It soars through the air, going pretty far into the water. When it lands, it causes a minor splash. You’d say that’s swimming deep, you wouldn’t be able to stand up anymore.

“Can’t wait until this is all over.” you say.

“Tell me about it.” he skips another rock, it hits the surface once, twice, thrice, four times before it sinks, “I just keep thinking about how the other kids at school are reacting.”

“Reed was actually considering homeschooling me.” you tell him.

He pauses, looking over at you, “You can’t do that, then I’d be at the school by myself.”

You give him a small grin, “So? Won’t it be like before, when we didn’t really talk?”

“I hope not.” Finnick laughs, “We’re in it for life, we have to be. Plus, you live on the same street as I do, so there’s no avoiding me.”

“I can try.” you push yourself up from the rock beach, crossing your arms over your chest, “I think we’ll grow sick of each other eventually.”

“If they keep pushing us together, I do too.” Finnick holds out a rock for you. You take it, weighing it in your palm before skipping it. It dies after bouncing twice.

He throws his last rock, this one goes the farthest so far. When it sinks too, he brushes off his hands and turns around, getting out of the water. You pull your dirty tennis shoes on again. Finnick dries his feet with his towel, throws said towel over his shoulder, then slides his feet into his sandals. After that, you’re on your way back.

“At least we get to see our prep teams again, I missed them.”

“I didn’t.” Finnick makes a face, shaking his head, “Too touchy for my liking, even before we won.”

“Gross, wish I could give you mine instead.”

“No, you don’t.” Finnick makes a face, and then the two of you laugh.

The walk to Victor’s Village is far, since you and Finnick purposely tried to find a spot that would be hard to find, if anyone came looking. You don’t think anyone has, but then again, you won’t know until you get back to the houses. You and Finnick fill the silence by talking about what you think will actually happen when school gets started up again. You guess sashays to wear, and finnick bets on crowns.

And sure enough, when you get back to the village, you’re able to see the cars parked on the cobblestone pathways. There’s cameras being set up outside, and two separate nervous parents waiting. For Finnick, this would be his mother, Laoise, who comes rushing down the steps immediately.

“Where have the two of you been?” she asks, then doesn’t wait for an answer as she starts yanking Finnick towards his house. 

You wave him goodbye before heading towards your parent, Reed. He’s not upset, as far as you can tell. You head inside with him to see that your prep team definitely is. Cleo lets out the biggest whine you’ve heard come from her, and Leo sighs loudly to let you know that he isn’t happy. Beth, on the other hand, starts towards your bathroom to get a shower started.

You’re not allowed a single conversation with Anchor, or Elysia who seems to be bouncing back and forth between houses. You’re drowned in water, hair washed swiftly just to make it shiny and clean-looking again. You smell like fruit and flowers at the end of the shower, being swept right into your bedroom after.

This is when they start to work like they did beforehand. Cleo gets to work on your nails, Leo heads right in with fixing your eyebrows and plucking every little hair, washing your face down, and starting over to make sure you’re to his liking. While Beth, as usual, takes her time with drying and styling your hair to make sure that it looks good enough. Out of the three of them, she’s luckiest since her job isn’t that hard.

Cleo’s going on about how the entire Capitol is excited to see you again. This is when you remember that you’ll be visiting the Capitol again. You bite your tongue, since you’re not excited. You wonder if this means you’ll be onsaughted by reporters again, going back to weeks of non-normalcy.

“Laurel doesn’t want to see you until you’re fully dressed.” Cleo says, raising from the floor, “I’ll grab your clothes.”

She leaves the room, Leo and Beth pack up their things, “You’ll be wearing warm clothes tonight. I wouldn’t get used to it if I were you. You’ll be in dresses for the entire tour.” Leo says.

“Great.” you give him a smile, “Thank you, both.”

Cleo comes back in a moment later, and has you getting dressed immediately. Obviously they’re going for cool tones, because they place you in thick white pants and a long-sleeved, light blue shirt. After that is the jacket, the second that it’s zipped up, you can feel yourself start to sweat. It’s safe to say that you won’t be feeling the cold outside. They place you in warm shoes too, and you’re forced to stand still while they readjust.

In the end, they take the jacket off and tell you that you’ll be wearing it later. For now, you can go ahead and see everyone else downstairs. You take your time going down the steps, not really in a hurry. There’s no way you guys are going to be on time as much as you had wanted to earlier.

“There she is!” Anchor stands in your hallway, motioning to you.

Laurel comes out of your living room, looking over you from head to toe, “Where’s the jacket?”

“With Cleo, she said I could wear it later.” you say, “How do I look?”

“Like how you should.” she says, and then moves on. If you could take a guess, you think she’s annoyed that you did make them behind schedule. Finnick’s probably receiving the same cold treatment that you are.

Elysia comes in through the door, holding it wide open. Behind her is the camera crew, who come in and make themselves comfortable in the living room. Soon, the downstairs manages to crowd. The camera crew, Elysia, the prep team, your siblings, Anchor and Laurel. With the amount of people in the house, the volume starts to increase. 

You reach for your pinky to find that the ring is missing. In the middle of instructions from Anchor, you turn without a single word and head up the staircase. If you’re going to do this, you’re going to need the ring. If Anchor is bothered, he doesn’t say anything, he just lets you go.

In your room, you shut the door to muffle the sound and get some privacy. If you heard Elysia correctly, you should have five minutes or so before you present your hobby to the camera crew, which they’ll be editing and showing the public later. When it came to picking one out, you and Finnick were pretty stumped.

The choices were obvious, you were going to rock, paper, scissors to see who would get fishing or knots, when Mags came through with some ideas. Most of them were stupid, Finnick can’t play a guitar and you’ve never really liked gardening. Then Anchor suggested a two part skill, photography and modeling.

You wanted to shut down the idea, especially when Finnick was all for taking the pictures. If you have professional pictures of yourself, people are going to think you’re vain. So, Finnick switched the roles and decided that he could be the model and you could be the photographer. 

It took some practice, the first couple of pictures that you’d taken with the Capitol-bought camera were horrible. But as time went on over the few months, you managed to get a hang of it. And Finnick decided that he liked to model a lot more than he thought he did. And just like that, the problem was solved.

While Finnick’s living room is covered in pictures of himself that you took in various places, your living room has cameras and a few scenery and portrait pictures to show. Needless to say, this is another example of how you and Finnick have been complimenting each other since the beginning. 

You find your ring where Beth had placed it to get it out of the way during the bath. You pick it up and slip it on. By the time you get downstairs, they’re ready for you to start talking about yourself and not shut up until you’ve covered everything. After, you’ll narrate from notecards that Elysia wrote for you.

You think Anchor might’ve told Reed and Mox that you were overwhelmed or something, because it’s clear there’s been a change. Elysia is gone completely, Laurel and the prep team stand in the dining room, away from where you are. The camera crew inside of the living room is spread out enough to give you breathing room. The only people standing close are your brothers.

Just before you’re on camera, you stand taller and give a smile. Once they give you the cue, you go ahead and start explaining your hobby. The cameras, the pictures, how Finnick is your partner in crime with this. You make sure to explain what you do exactly with the pictures. When you’re done, you read the notecards as peppy as you can, then they push you out so they can get the living room by itself.

Reed and Mox aren’t excluded from the event, they’re actually pulled on camera together, which leaves you to hold onto Alyssum for the time being. You expected her to be pretty alert, but in the end, she lays her head on your shoulder while you sway. As soon as they’re done, things start moving quickly.

You hand Alyssum over, and Anchor comes back around with instructions. Laurel pulls the jacket onto you, which has you feeling like a furnace again, but you don’t complain. You nod and him and try to pay attention the best you can. All you seem to remember now is that you need to look as excited as possible when seeing Finnick.

Elysia then stops you in front of the door, tells you to be careful, and then opens the door. You step out, ignoring the sound of the door shutting behind you when you go down the steps. A smile spreads over your face at the sight of Finnick, who looks just as ridiculous as you feel because of how bundled you are. Especially since he was wearing shorts in freezing cold water just a couple of hours ago.

“Finnick!” you shout, opening your arms up wide.

Finnick hugs you tightly, pulling you flush against his chest. He presses a warm kiss against your cold cheeks and laughs, “Missed me that much?”

“Of course!” you laugh too.

Everything you’d been building up to today, is over just like that. It was only to get an outside shot of you and Finnick greeting each other for the first time during the Victory Tour.

The goodbyes to your family and friends takes place outside. Finnick says goodbye to his parents and his brother, Orion. You say goodbye to your brothers, sister and Naida’s family, since they wanted to see you one last time before you go. Everyone from the Capitol piles into their cars, the Capitol people take off first. You, Finnick, Elysia and your mentors get into the last car. You wave goodbye to your brothers before you go.

At the train station, you wave goodbye and board the train. Elysia doesn’t stop the grind there, as she gets you guys into the dining room to have supper. The prep team doesn’t join you guys when you eat. You and Finnick have to take it easy, since the food is so unbearably rich. Even with you trying to make sure that you don’t eat too much, you still manage to feel pretty nauseous after.

After that, you’re left to your own devices. Laurel and Pleurisy disappear, Elysia says to be ready to get up early tomorrow, and your mentors head straight to bed. It leaves just you and Finnick as always. For a while, you two just stare at each other as if you don’t have a clue on what to say.

Then, Finnick gives a smile, “Sleepover?”

You grin, “Oh, hell yeah. I’ll just take a shower first.”

“Meet you there, then.” Finnick says.

You two split, with Finnick going to his own room. In yours, you go ahead and pick out your pajamas, and then shut the door to the bathroom to make sure that Finnick won’t accidentally walk in on anything. With the ring in a safe place, you step into the shower to wash off all of the prep team’s work. Once the water starts running clear again, you step out.

Finnick’s got his spot next to the wall all sorted out. He’s got a blanket laid out, a pillow and then a second bigger blanket to actually use. Obviously he banked on your shower idea, because his hair is wet too. You slip the ring into the bowl at your bedside and then fall back onto your bed.

“Tired?” Finnick jokes.

“Compared to you, yeah.” you look at him, “They’ve got to do a lot more with me than you. You heard Elysia, you get to sleep in.”

Finnick scoffs, “You think I sleep?” he tries to keep a straight face after, but it doesn’t work. The two of you crack up.

“Anyway, I’m going to bed.” you tell him.

“Sounds good to me.” Finnick says, settling in next to the wall.

The two of you lay in silence for a while. Despite feeling completely exhausted, you can’t bring yourself to fall asleep. You curl yourself up, rock yourself, spread out, roll over but there’s nothing that works. Finnick falls asleep faster than you do, you can hear his heavy breathing.

You eventually settle for staring at the ceiling, feeling a sense of deja vu. It’s exactly like how you’d tried to fall asleep the night before you got home. Only then, you were nervous and excited and now you’re just�� upset? You just want to be back to normal. You get that you’ll be mentoring again in the spring/summer, but for now, you should be able to relax.

You think you fall asleep sometime in the middle of the night. You wake up to Elysia rocking you and telling you it’s time to get started. She helps you get dressed into something comfortable, and you decide to leave your ring on the bedside table. When you leave the bedroom, Finnick is still sleeping comfortably next to the wall.

He won’t have to get up for a couple of hours. He’s only got so much that needs to be done, while you on the other hand have to go through everything the Capitol did initially. Your skin is going to be sore for the first time in a long time. You were just getting used to finally looking like the other girls in your grade, too.

Your prep team is already in the dining car when you get there. You assume your regular spot and watch as the team slowly comes to life. It’s obvious that they never have to get up this early, ever. You watch as they drink cup after cup of coffee, and then popping brightly colored pills into their mouths as they go.

Cleo does the most out of all of them, which solves the mystery as to why she’s so energetic. In no time, she’s looking awake and chatting with Leo animatedly. You eat quietly and try not to engage in conversation with them just yet. You wonder how they’re going to rebuild you if Finnick’s sleeping in your room.

You finish your breakfast, and figure that if you’re going to wake up Finnick in the process, you might as well bring him something as a gift. With the help of Elysia, you pack a plate full of foods that he enjoys. Cleo and Leo try not to be loud--Beth isn’t ever a problem--but they end up waking Finnick anyway.

“Here.” you set the tray onto the floor, “I’ve got to get started.”

He’s tired, but at least there’s no bags beneath his eyes, “Have fun.”

“Thanks.”

Beth shuts the door the most of the way, and then they all turn on you like a pack of wild dogs. You’re stripped for the most part, and they start with waxing your legs. Finnick occasionally talks to you on the other side of the door, enjoying his breakfast. By the time you’re being bathed the second time, Elysia comes around to collect Finnick.

They’re all unusually quiet during this, even Cleo. You guess that the coffee and weird pills didn’t do their job good enough. They shower you one last time, try your skin and then lather you in the healing lotion. Immediately, you begin to feel better. You thank them for their efforts, get dressed and meet everyone else in the dining car again. It’s lunch time.

Elysia lays out the plan for you guys during this time. For the Victory Tour, you’ll be starting in District Twelve, which is another day’s train ride from here. By tomorrow afternoon, you should be there. She outlines the protocols and tells you what you should expect from the district, there’s not a single nice thing she says after that.

“It’s not all that bad.” Anchor says, he’s finished with his lunch already, just occupying a spot to keep you all company, “They’re going to be upset like they are every year.”

You share a look with Finnick, though. As much as Anchor and Mags can try and comfort you two, you think they’ve forgotten who the two tributes died to. You killed the boy, drowned him unfairly in water he doesn’t know how to swim in. And Finnick killed the girl a couple days later. You don’t know if you can even consider that self-defense.

In fact, the more you think about it, the more you begin to realize that every stop you’ll be making over the course of the next few weeks will be completely miserable. You and Finnick got an even split of murders, both of you have six, which in total makes twelve. Almost every stop will have one tribute you killed.

Anchor says that the districts are going to be upset, but that’s such an understatement. They’re going to be pissed, the only one that might be a warm welcome is going to be District Three, because of Verda and Blaire. Otherwise, you’re absolutely hated.

Finnick recognizes this too, his face is twisted, the two of you stare at each other for a moment. You wonder who’s going to be the one to point this fact out, but neither of you speak. You just let the topic drop, he goes back to picking at his sweet roll.

“Alright well, I’m going to take a nap. Wake me when it’s supper.” you say.

A few of them bid you a goodbye, you drag your feet all the way to your room. Really, you’re not all that tired, you just don’t want to hear Elysia call another district dirty and ungrateful again. In your room, Finnick’s belongings are gone, so there’s no chance that you’ll be interrupted.

Instead of laying down, you find yourself heading towards the chair that you’d first occupied on your way to the Capitol during the summer. You sit in it, sinking into the plush cushion, and stare into the room. It’s a moment before you remember that magazine from your first time around.

You open up the nightstand drawer and find that there’s a new issue. And right on the front is a picture of you and Finnick that you took for the victory tour. 

Inside is probably your worst nightmare. There’s information about yourself, all spilled out onto the page. Your birthday, your age, stuff about your family, how both of your parents died… it just keeps going.

Finnick’s page isn’t nearly as bad as yours. In fact, when you read over it, you’re sure that the Capitol publishers purposely did this. When you begin to feel sick, you rip it into shreds and throw it into the bathroom garbage can so that you don’t have to see it. 

This is when you decide that it’s a good time to fall through on taking the nap. You pull the blanket above your head to shield yourself from the light. It takes some time, you still toss and turn but sticking to the idea works. The next time you wake up is to Elysia at the door, telling you that supper is ready.

Even after catching a look at yourself in the mirror, you decide that you could care less. You’re going right back to bed after this, you’re fucking exhausted. Everyone is sitting at the table when you get out there, and spirits seem to be pretty high. The prep teams carry most of the conversation.

You pick at your food in the beginning, not entirely hungry since you just woke up. You squint, each as much as you can, and sit at the table until you decide that it’s an appropriate time to get up and leave. You and Finnick are reminded that you’ll be up early tomorrow by Elysia. After that, you’re free to go.

Finnick stays at the table, but you go ahead and leave. You change into proper pajamas and roll over. You don’t fall asleep as quickly as you had hoped. In fact, you’re stuck thinking about the families of the kids that you had killed in the arena.

District Twelve, Tassel and Fodille. Tassel being the thirteen year-old boy that you had killed, and Fodille being the twelve year-old girl that Finnick had killed. You could try to play it off as self defense with Tassel, but you knew exactly what you were doing when you turned your back to him. It was bait, you wanted him to step out so that you could kill him. And it worked, you just didn’t expect him to jump on your back like that.

As for Finnick, you can’t imagine what he’d done to get Fodille to go after him. Or maybe he just came across her and decided that he might as well kill her.

Either way, in the end, you wake up screaming. For a good second, while you stare off into the pitch black room, you’re sure that you’ve died. But the moment you take in a deep breath from your nose, you’re reminded that even that would be a dream. Your throat is sore, your cheeks are soaked. You reach for a pillow and bury your face in it, sobbing, wondering how long you’ll have to suffer like this.

You’re so fucking tired. You miss the period of time when you didn’t have nightmares or worried about people approaching you from certain angles because you might accidentally kill them in a fit of blind arena flashbacks. 

You scream into the pillow, and then throw it across the room. You watch as it hits the only glass frame in the room, knocking it off the wall. You get up from the bed, take your ring from the bowl and go to the bathroom. You don’t bother to turn on the light, but you hesitate putting water on your face.

It wouldn’t be a bright idea, especially not after the nightmare, but you do it anyway, multiple times. Even after the cold water, you still feel stuffy, so you go to leave the bedroom. Just as you step on the carpet near the door, a searing hot pain goes right through your foot.

You stifle a scream, gritting your teeth as tears reappear in your eyes. Your hand falls against the wall, holding all of your bodyweight, while the other cradles your foot. Even in the darkness, you can see the dark liquid coming from your foot. You struggle to find the lightswitch, and find yourself blinded in yellow light when you turn it on.

It takes a while of blinking for you to be able to see, and when you do, you’re not surprised. The frame had shattered, giant glass and small glass shards are all over the carpet. In your foot is a pretty big one, around it are much smaller pieces. Blood comes out of every one of them, staining the white carpet red.

Now is the time to start looking for the help call button. You go over the one panel near the door, squinting and rubbing your eyes. The pain in your foot is distracting, the light is hard to see through. You end up pressing the red one and hope that it works.

It does, it’s only a matter of seconds before the door is opening and you’re met with multiple Capitol attendants at the door. They take in the scene, the glass, your foot, the disorientation in your face. And without a single word, two of them help you so that you don’t have to walk on the foot, another goes to clean up the mess.

They take you into the main room and sit you on a chair, “Would you like for us to wake Elysia or one of the mentors?”

You shake your head, eyes trained on the first aid. You’re pretty sure that you’re going to need stitches, “No, can you just tell Elysia when she gets up?”

They agree, bring around the medical expert. They sit in a chair opposite to you, prop your foot onto their thigh and gently get to work. They pull out each individual shard, starting with the smallest, and working their way up to the bigger ones. You close your eyes and dig your nails into your hands when they start pulling out the worst one. You try not to move much but you still end up curling your foot.

You were right about the stitches, the person numbs your foot first and then works on the needle. Since you can’t feel it, it’s easier to watch them go through it. You bleed a lot, and even with the stitches, they wrap a bandage around your foot and have to half-carry you back to your room.

In the hallway is Finnick, he’s shirtless and has got his arms crossed over his chest. He looks over you, the two Capitol attendants, and then down at your foot. The serious expression on his face drops, as well as his arms, “What happened?”

“Broke a frame and stepped on glass, had to get stitches. I’ll be fine, you don’t need to worry about me.”

“She can stay in my room.” Finnick insists, holding his arms out for you.

You don’t argue, letting him hold onto you, “Thank you, can you tell Elysia that I’ll be in his room, too?”

“Yes, of course. Call if you have any more problems.” they say.

Finnick brings you into his room, which is almost a mirror of yours. His bed is unkempt, he was obviously sleeping. You wonder if it was your screaming and sobbing that woke him up, or the Capitol people helping you that did it. Either way, he shuts the door and helps you to his bed.

“I can sleep on the floor.” you tell him.

“There’s a hammock.” Finnick says, motioning to the corner.

Your eyes follow, and you find that he’s not lying. A white-roped hammock hangs in the corner of the room. He throws in a pillow, lays a blanket down as a base and then helps you into it. It’s a lot more comfortable than you thought it would be, and you laugh when he throws another, softer blanket on top of you.

Before he goes to lay back down, for the first time in months, he presses a gentle kiss to your lips, “I’m right here if you need anything, okay?”

“Yeah, thank you.” 

He lays down in the bed, back turned to you, blanket pulled over his shoulder. You lay your head against the pillow and stare at the ceiling of his room. Your foot throbs painfully. Even with how he set you up comfortably, you don’t fall asleep. You go over the different scenarios in which everyone will have to work around your hurt foot.

During your daydreaming, you manage to doze off. Before you know it, Finnick is shaking you awake, telling you that you two should eat lunch real quick before you get ready for District Twelve. It’s the afternoon, they’ve let you sleep in considerably. Finnick helps you out of the hammock and lets you lean on him while the two of you make your way to the dining car.

Everyone is at the table already, dressed and ready for what Twelve will have to offer. Before you can even get halfway into the room, all eyes are on you and Finnick. Suddenly, the topic is on your hurt foot.

“Let’s see it.” Laurel says, motioning for you to head towards her.

Finnick helps, you lean against the table with one hand so Finnick can go and sit down and start eating. You watch as Laurel unravels the bandage to take in the damage.

“Well, I’ll certainly say that I’m surprised.” Elysia says, sitting up a bit on her chair to see over the table.

“What happened, again?” Anchor asks, looking right at you.

“I uh--” you make a face, “The Capitol attendant didn’t tell you?”

“They didn’t tell us much of anything.” Cleo says, sipping on her coffee, “Did you get any sleep last night.”

Leo huffs, “That’s going to be hard to cover up.

“Well, what happened?” Laurel presses, looking at you now. If she thinks that your foot looks bad, she doesn’t say anything. 

“A glass picture frame broke by the door last night.” you decide that you’ll keep the fact that you broke it, to yourself.

“How?” Cleo asks.

You open your mouth, going to come up with some bullshit excuse, but Elysia has her own reason.

“I bet it was how hard the train braked last night during the refuel. Did any of you feel it?”

“I did.” Cleo and Leo say at the same time.

“Makes sense.” Pleurisy says, “They should’ve nailed it onto the wall better. What’re you thinking, Laurel?”

“She’s going to have to use numbing cream and wear flats for the rest of the trip.” Laurel turns to an attendant, “Can you clean and rebandage her foot?”

You get a new place to sit, away from the table, while your foot is reprepared. At least you’ve gotten yourself out of wearing heels, but you can’t imagine that the pain in your foot is nearly worth it. Plus, you’ll still be walking funky, so there’s no doubt that someone is going to point it out.

You have to eat quickly because you’re behind schedule. This time, you manage to feel just fine, which means that you won’t have to take a ten minute breather to make sure that you won’t puke. Cleo, Beth and Leo work together to make you look nice. They pull your hair down, making it look nice with as many products as possible.

Laurel comes around with your clothes. Since it’s snowing in District Twelve, you put on a dark purple jacket, black pants, snow boots and a hat to keep your ears warm. You think it’s overkill until you finally look outside. Even Finnick is dressed up to be warm, and he hardly ever gets cold.

The train gets dark for a long moment as you pass through a tunnel. When light comes back, you can see that District Twelve has tall walls. As soon as you can see into the district, the first word that comes to mind is ‘gloomy’. You immediately feel bad for the people because they have to stand outside while you receive plaques for murdering their tributes.

You and Finnick are brought into the main room, you’re on more of a time crunch than you had originally thought. Laurel applies the finishing touches here, fixing stray hairs and helping you walk in the boots with your hurt foot. Right as you pull into the train station, Elysia tells you that there won’t be a ride through the city, so there’s nothing to worry about there. But there are cameras at the station, waiting to see you two.

And just like that, the doors open and you’re exposed to said cameras. You hold onto Finnick’s arm tightly, trying not to make your limp super noticeable. Even with the numbing cream, you can feel the stitches oddly move. You’re really afraid of accidentally tearing them.

You’re directed into a car by a couple of peacekeepers. Making sure to thank them, you head inside first, Mags follows, then it’s Finnick, Anchor and Elysia. On the way to the Justice Building, Elysia gives you the cards to read off of, just in case you forget some lines.

From the car, you’re inside of the main building. You hardly get a few steps inside when you can smell a particular scent that must be exclusive to their district. As well as see all the dust that has collected onto tabletops they have not used in months. You can at least smell something cooking.

There’s a few seconds before you have to go outside and face the families of Tassel and Fodille. It really hits you now, you take deep breaths and try to ease the panic attack that’s rising. But it’s coming, and you don’t know how to stop it. With the anthem already playing, you’re fucked.

“(Y/n), breathe.” Finnick says, making you face him, “Tell me one thing you smell.”

“The dinner.”

“Two things you feel.” he says.

“You touching me and the stitches.” you take a deep breath.

“Three things you hear.”

“Your voice, the anthem and my heartbeat.” it’s loud in your ears, almost louder than the anthem that’s playing outside.

“Your heartbeat is constant, it’s not going away.” Finnick says, “Focus on it, okay?”

You nod, sniffing. He gives you a small smile. Microphones are clipped to your bodies so that you’ll be heard. Finnick offers his arm and you wrap your hands around it, just like how you did on the chariot ride. The mayor of District Twelve is introducing you when the doors open.

“You’ve got this.” Elysia urges.

You two move forward, the applause from Twelve feels apprehensive. You walk together, you rely on Finnick to find the right spot on where to stop. He does, and you’re finally able to take in what the district looks like. You were right about the gloomy idea, because this does not nearly radiate the same energy that District Four does.

The space in front of the Justice Building is packed with people, all who don’t look thrilled that they have to entertain you two. There’s been two stages that have been constructed for the families of Tassel and Fodille. You don’t want to look. You have to.

Tassel’s parents are pretty young, but they don’t have any other kids, Tassel was their only child. His parents are straight-faced and angry, no doubt at you. Fodille’s family isn’t much better, she only has a younger sister that has to be half the age that Fodille was… so many six, seven?

The clapping dissolves, the mayor has to give a speech in your honor. You hate standing here and awkwardly staring into their district like this. You killed Tassel, you killed their only son. There’s a number of circumstances that go through your mind, none of which you like.

Two girls hand off large bouquets of flowers to you and Finnick. You make sure to thank them, and then Finnick is reciting the customary reply. It’s nothing interesting, just a thank you. You say your part next, which is practically a repeat of what he just did.

The last part is up to you and Finnick, since it’s your personal comments. It might have been approved by Elysia, Anchor and Mags, but that doesn’t mean they weren’t any less specially structured for their tributes. Unfortunately for you, you and Finnick came to the agreement that you two would switch on and off for who starts first and who goes second.

You clear your throat slightly, staring at Tassel’s family, because everything that you had written down, doesn’t come to mind. You open your mouth, draw your eyebrows in and breathe out. 

You can’t say anything staring at them like this. You close your eyes, and find it much easier this way, “Last night I dreamt that I had been perched in bushes by a pond, watching as two older tributes came around to gather water. I barely moved, but made noise nonetheless. The boy came to investigate, thought that he’d heard something but turned his back to me. I thought it was the perfect opportunity.

“I jumped onto his back, arms and legs wrapped around him and thought victory was mine because I had the high ground. How would he get away from this? He couldn’t possibly. When he reached for his sword, I pulled his hair and went to go choke him. I didn’t take into consideration how clever the boy was, as he fell backwards into the pond on purpose.

“I wasn’t worried for a second.” you breathe out all the air you’re holding, “But I panicked when the water washed over me, when I realized that I didn’t know how to swim and I couldn’t hold my breath for long. I panicked when the boy held me in place to make sure that I would die. I wanted to cry when I thought about how I would be breathing in water in no time.

“It was worse when he wouldn’t let me go, no matter how desperate I was. I thought it was unfair, how he could be so big and so much stronger than me. It was an unfair advantage that I hadn’t taken into consideration. When I opened my mouth to breathe, unable to hold my breath any longer, I inhaled water. The boy let me go, and left me in the darkness of that pond, to sink to the bottom and drown.”

You open your eyes, looking at Tassel’s family, “I died in the dark, cold and in pain, worried about how my family would be able to pay for funeral expenses.” you shake your head, “I have been waking up to this nightmare for weeks. Since the end of the games, I have not slept soundly since. Your son’s face haunts me, and I know that means nothing to you, and I’m sorry. It’s not a proud moment of mine, his face never escapes me in my happiest moments.”

It’s done it, his mother is crying, burying her face into her husband’s shoulder. His father nods once at you, but you don’t think that’s good enough. You could give this speech a hundred times to them, apologize over and over, but it will never compare to what it feels like to lose family. Especially not a son that they had raised.

Finnick gives his rehearsed speech to Fodille’s family, which turns out to be just as emotional. You two are given big plaques to accompany your bouquets. You listen to the clapping of the district, which somehow sounds louder than the first time around. The mayor wraps up your appearance, and then you’re brought back into the Justice Building, where everyone is waiting.

Elysia praises you guys, hardly making a comment on how you went off-script. Anchor gives you an approving nod, and suddenly you’re being readied for the dinner. You get washed completely so that you’re a blank canvas, and the prep teams work back up from there. Cleo and Leo are excited to be attending tonight’s dinner, and all the future ones too. You don’t see the big fuss.

They keep with the purple theme. They place you in a dress that reaches your calves, and a pair of black flats with white socks after more numbing cream is applied. Laurel comes around for finishing touches, which is when she pulls a black cardigan over your shoulders to keep you extra warm. You thank her.

“Try not to play with the ring too much, okay?” Laurel says, standing you in front of the mirror so that you can see yourself. You’ve begun to get used to the fact that you’re pretty unrecognizable after every makeover, “The Capitol is starting to take notice.”

“Okay.” your hands drop, you smooth out the dress, “Are we ready to go?”

“Yeah, make sure to smile.” she says.

The prep teams head out first, Elysia counts every step, and warns you guys to count too. Next is Laurel and Pleurisy, who look good naturally and have big smiles on their faces. Anchor has Mags hold onto him so that she’s able to move quicker and so that they don’t fall behind.

“How are you feeling?” Finnick asks.

“Tired, what about you?”

“Hungry.” he says, and the two of you grin.

You start walking.

It’s a rinse and repeat for every district. Your speeches start to blur, as does the faces. District Eight is hard for Finnick because both of the tributes died to him, that night he wakes up sobbing. You hold your breath and the next time you’re fully able to breathe is District Three, where Verda and Blaire’s families are more than forgiving. You can’t thank Blaire’s family enough, when you leave, you think that you’ve finally come to peace with Blaire’s sacrifice.

After your visit in District Two--which had ended badly, the word ‘traitor’ is what you’re labeled as there--Finnick comes up with the idea of making your own training facilities. 

“What the hell do you mean?” you ask, looking at Finnick. He’s sitting on his bed, sprawled out and staring at the ceiling. You’re in his hammock.

Finnick sits up, “Think about it, we get a building, invest our own money into it. We get families in on it, advertise it quietly, start training kids to be prepared. If we can win at fourteen and fifteen, other kids can win at fourteen and fifteen, maybe even younger!”

“They just need an opportunity.” you say, he nods, a grin is spreading over his face. “We’ve got a problem though, your mom is going to say no, and my brothers would never approve of it.”

“I’ve got a solution to that too. What if we ask Anchor and Mags to put their names down? But only us and Anchor train the tributes, since we’re the youngest.”

You smile a bit, “You better be the one to suggest it to them.”

“Okay!” he agrees, getting up from the bed, “Let’s go now, then.”

Mags and Anchor approve the idea almost immediately, and for the rest of the night, you’re subjected to laying out the plans with them. Mags has got years worth of money built up, and decides that she’ll take on the bulk of the expenses. Anchor agrees to be a trainer, as do you and Finnick, on top of being mentors. 

“You know this means you won’t be home often, right?” Anchor says.

“At least we’ll be in the same district.” you tell him.

Conversation keeps moving. You point out that there’s an expensive building on the rich side of District Four. It’s big, and you think it served as some sort of hotel or warehouse. It’s going to need repairs, but you write the address down anyway and hand it off to Mags.

Finnick says that you two will start advertising it as soon as you get back home, there’s no doubt that there’s going to be some takers. No one wants their kids to die in the games, and if they’ve been preparing for years, their odds increase. By the time you reach District One, you’re feeling better about everything, and take District One with a brave smile.

The Capitol is the same way. You and Finnick stay in the Tribute Center, on your regular floor. The following night, you’re brought to the stage with Caesar to be questioned on how you and Finnick were feeling during the tour. He keeps it going smoothly, there’s not a moment you feel uncomfortable.

“And finally, what are your plans for the future?” he asks, sitting back in his chair, “Two young mentors, next summer will be your first time with tributes. What are your thoughts?”

“Our plans are secret.” you say outright, which has Finnick smirking. 

The audience likes this, all on the edge of their seat. No matter how hard Caesar prys, neither you or Finnick say anything. To admit the idea of illegally training tributes could mean big trouble for District Four. 

“You have to give me something.” Caesar says, “To give us something.”

Finnick gives him a fun smile, “Let’s just say that District Four just inherited the best mentors they could ask for.”

The interview ends, you and Finnick are brought to a large banquet. There’s music, soft chairs, tables with more food than you could ever imagine. The floors are polished, the ceiling is dark. You and Finnick are on camera the entire time, so you have to work together if you want to do anything. You two find your spot at the dessert table, and continue to sample the cakes, cookies, cupcakes, puddings, among other things. Finnick and you bet on who will get sick first, and you end up losing.

Eventually it gets out that you’re stationed at the dessert table, because people start coming around. You take pictures, and exchange names and conversation. You try to be polite and friendly, you’re just glad that they move on relatively quickly to allow others get their say.

Finnick enjoys his second slice of raspberry cheesecake, you get a cold bowl of ice cream and find a new spot to stand. You silently wish they served dishes like this back home. You wonder if someone has a cookbook, you’ll start cooking like this if you can. You’ve got the money for the ingredients, you just need the recipe.

Anchor and Mags come around to check on you and Finnick, and then suggest that you get real food into you besides all the sweets. They warn you to stay away from the drinks that’ll make you puke up your food, and wish you good luck on your next round of fans. You and Finnick go to a table with soups that warm the throat and make you feel hungrier than you were before.

When the music picks up to something more upbeat, you decide that it won’t hurt to dance once. You try to follow what Elysia had taught you two, but give up halfway through and decide for a more traditional dance from Four. It works, you and Finnick have more fun than you were before.

“Had you come up with that idea earlier into the victory tour, I can’t imagine how giddy we would have been throughout the whole tour.” you say, letting Finnick spin you.

“It would have been criminal.” he laughs, you join, “District One seemed like a pretty bad place to begin with.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” you agree. Considering that Trink and Lennox were the last two tributes that could have won. Their families weren’t very thrilled to see you two, either.

At this point, you don’t really care. How are they going to significantly affect you? Do they think them glaring at you is really going to do anything? The only time you’re afraid of Lennox in your nightmares is when he’s choking and beating you to death. If you could go back and do it all again, you’d kill Allio in his sleep and move on with your life.

He was stupid and egotistical. It’s his own fault that you’re alive and he isn’t. The Hunger Games is a fight to the death, a survival of the fittest. It’s an embarrassment to him that he had trained for years and still wasn’t fit enough to win. Him, seventeen, you, fifteen.

After dancing, you and Finnick take a break and wait for Elysia to come around. She picks you two up around midnight, the two of you go around and say your goodbyes and collect the prep teams, stylists and mentors. After that, you all get into separate cars to get back onto the train on time.

The prep teams are drunk and go to bed immediately. The rest of you stand around for a little while, talking about how tomorrow will go. Just before you go to bed, Elysia presents you with a recipe book straight from the kitchen. You thank her, bid everyone goodnight, but find yourself with Finnick in your room, going over what you’ll be making.

In the morning, you’re prepared for cameras again. You make sure to give a big smile and wave when you see Four again, glad to be home. Unfortunately, you’re not allowed to see your family until dinner. Everyone is brought to Mayor Burrula’s house to get ready for tonight’s celebration.

You’ve never been inside of his house before, but it’s huge. Three floors, the third is where you’re brought. You’re prepared, just like you’ve been for every evening for the past couple of weeks. You’re dressed in a knee-length, navy blue and silver dress. You’re still not allowed heels, so Laurel settles for leather sandals and begs you to not do anything that might make your foot bleed.

When you’re done, you have about an hour to wander around the house. You don’t exactly feel comfortable, but Finnick goes right ahead. He holds onto your hand and brings you through each and every floor. On the second one, you come across Mayor Burrula’s twins.

They’re both eighteen now, seniors. Ameer and Mirza are the most popular in their grade, and considering that they’re both boys, they’ve got a bigger voice than you could ever have with Finnick. It’s an easy business opportunity, and it doesn’t take long before Finnick catches on. Neither of you mention it, instead you take the hour to get close to them.

When the hour is up, you’re brought around to be with your teams again. Elysia reminds you what you’re supposed to do, you and Finnick are fussed over for the final time. Once again, everyone slowly descends down the stairs and outside, where the district is loud with whistling and clapping.

The prep teams, Elysia, the stylists and finally, your mentors all leave. In the end, it’s just you and Finnick standing there.

The tour is almost over.

Finnick offers his arm to you, “One last celebration.” he says.

You slip your arm into his, leaning over to give him a kiss.

“One last celebration.”

[ilguna]

Ethereal - Epilogue (f.o)

Summary: Five years of watching your trainees die, you’re sick of it. She will prevail, she will win.

Word Count; 1.8k

Warnings; swearing, DEATH MENTION

NOTES: i give reader a last name to fit the world.

–

You watch as Reed holds his hand out for Alyssum to take, but Mox sweeps in quickly. Reed’s face twists, but soon they’re both laughing as they twirl each other to the beat of the traditional music. Before Alyssum had a chance to pout, they invite her in during the small window that they have.

Everyone turns the other direction, continuing the dance. Mags and Annie are having the time of their lives. Laughing, barely holding it together to keep up the formation. The people around them can’t help but to giggle along to their ridiculousness.

Laurel is standing by one of the tables, a glass of red wine–that had not been provided–is in her hands. Occasionally she’ll swish it before taking a sip, trying to bring up the flavor. It’s like hot chocolate, when all the chocolate sticks to the bottom and you have to stir it to make it even again.

Next to her is Pleurisy and Haymitch. Haymitch is only there because he’s leeching off of her wine, and she knows this. But he makes company, even if he’s an asshole most of the time, he understands it. Gets along with Laurel because he’s brutally honest about how he feels about the people in the Capitol.

The prep teams are dancing too, they make up a pretty big group. Your stylists must have told them not to wear anything that stands out too much, because they don’t look as extravagant as they normally do. No bright colors, they look like they could belong in your district by how bland they are.

There’s also a few other victors besides Haymitch here. Finnick had encouraged you to invite them, even though you were unsure if they’d end up showing. There’s no Cashmere, Gloss, Enobaria and Brutus. You said that was a flat out no, because you were worried that they would try to ruin the day somehow.

Instead you invited the lesser known victors. With Haymitch comes Chaff, the both of them get along well. Chaff is from district eleven, he holds his liquor better than Haymitch does somehow. You’ve seen them have a drinking competition twice now, and Chaff won both times. Haymitch isn’t a sore loser, he says that he’ll try again later.

And then there’s Cecillia with her husband and kids. They’re all dancing together too, having their family moment. You hope that you and Finnick will look like that one day in the future. You’ve got one part of it down, today.

Married.

You should be out there, dancing with everyone else, but you can’t bring yourself to get up and join them. You had been part of your own festivities for less than an hour, and decided to take a seat at the farthest table away. You see everyone perfectly, laughing, talking, dancing, getting along together.

The paper in your hand crumples again, and you look down to see that the paper is getting wrinkled from your fist. You unclench your hand, and lift it up to the lantern on the table to read it, even though you have it memorized now.

There’s no wonder why you can’t just get up and join them yourself, the paper is holding you back. All the words are staring back at you, supposed to be bringing you to a peace. It’s the end of an era, the start of a new one.

Something isn’t right about the list, you missed something. It’s not on the list specifically–the one you made during your victory tour, the things you want to do with Finnick. It’s something else.

Speak of the devil, he shows up bearing two glasses of red wine, you briefly glance at Laurel to see her hold up her glass, and then she turns back to Pleurisy, “Laurel wanted me to give us a glass before Haymitch and Chaff finished off the bottle.”

He sets a glass on the table for you to grab, but you don’t take it just yet. Finnick sits on the table, “The sparkling wine that the Capitol sent tastes like ass.”

You sputter out a laugh, “That’s true.”

Finnick sighs, placing one foot on a chair, putting his elbow on his knee before resting his head on his hand. His eyes are trained on your face, trying to figure out something, “What’s on your mind, Missus Odair?”

Your eyes flicker up at the title, your body wants to send a chill through you, but you somehow manage to hold it off. It’s exhilarating, the fact that you’re officially his, and he’s yours. You’re the wife of Finnick Odair and he’s the husband of (Y/n) Gallows.

The Peacock and The Executioner. What a pair.

You hold up the paper for him to take. He lifts his head, taking it from you as he looks it over, “Oh. This old thing. What about it?”

“There’s something wrong with it.”

Finnick cracks a smile, “Well, it’s wrinkled for one. It’s aged really badly, there’s marks where your tears had landed when you first wrote this, and it smudged the ink,” he turns it so you can see, but you know already. He’s talking about the lines part, not the words, “Your handwriting here is shit–”

“Finnick!” you laugh, and he smiles at you.

“And the final thing is that this was written out of anger.”

“You broke my heart, what can I say?” you reach for the wine now, taking a sip.

“All those poems did nothing to change it?” he teases.

You tilt your head at Finnick slightly, “About those poems, why did you do so many of them?”

Finnick freezes, and then tries to laugh it off, shrugging slightly, “Just a proclamation of love.”

“You’re a bad liar.” you tell him.

“It wasn’t a complete lie.” Finnick defends, “It uh–it was a desperate attempt at changing Snow’s mind, but it backfired in my face.”

You raise your eyebrows, “What?”

He smiles at you meekly, “Don’t feel bad for this okay? I don’t want you upset on our wedding day.”

Your face twists.

“It was an idea at first,” he begins, “I thought that maybe if I were to reel you in more, make it seem like you were hopelessly in love with me, that Snow would have let me go. I wouldn’t be as desired because I have this girl back home that’s in love with me, and she’s waiting for me to come back. Capitol would feel guilty that they’re taking me selfishly, and they would let me go.

“But I completely forgot to factor in the fact that I had left you in the district. I sent no letters, I missed out on victory parties and the tour. I should have made Laurel pass on the plan, but I was worried that she would tell Snow what was going on, and I’d be in trouble for it. And it also wouldn’t have worked after that.”

Finnick shrugs half-heartedly, “Of course I saw you in district eleven and I thought that it wouldn’t be too late. I would finally be able to tell you about the plan, and I could finally go home after a month’s work of begging and pleading on both sides. Only to be met with your anger. I didn’t bother telling you about the plan and went back to the Capitol because it’s what you wanted.”

Finnick finally looks to your face to see the frown on your face, “I thought I told you not to get upset.”

“It’s hard not to get upset about something like that, Finn.” you tell him quietly.

“It’s in the past now, nothing you can change.” He cups your face, “Stop being sad.”

You laugh slightly, and he smiles. Then, you can see the exact moment the lightbulb in his head lights up. Finnick gets off of the table, running off to your house for a moment.

While you watch him disappear inside of the house, you look at the list again. It was written out of anger, and it still seems to hold that power slightly. A distressed girl, who was in love with a boy that had saved her life and won the games with her. Only to have him torn away from her hands by the Capitol.

In truth, the girl was upset that she wouldn’t be able to live out the perfect life with him after. That she had yet another person she loved torn away from her life. She didn’t like that he made all those promises to stick by her side, that they would be going through the tour together. Face what they had done in the arena together.

And to think that five years later she would still end up marrying the man.

You look up again, watching as Alyssum begs Reed for another helping of the prestigious white cake that was brought in from the Capitol. Most delicacies here are made by the district, but the cake was specially designed by someone in the Capitol. As if Finnick can’t ever truly escape what’s supposed to be the past.

They’ll always love him. Married or not, he was once theirs.

Finnick comes out of your guys’ house, something small in his hands. As he flies down the staircase, you flinch when he almost slips. He’s smooth though, catches himself the last minute and doesn’t even stop to think about what happened, before running over to you.

He’s long since ditched the blazer to the suit, now it’s just his silk, white undershirt that’s unbuttoned a few to let him breathe more. Before he had gone inside of the house, the sleeves were down, but now they’re pushed up to his elbows.

When he gets close, he holds up the item in his hand.

“A pen?” you ask, and he grins.

He takes a seat on the table again, plucking the list from your hand and placing it on the table. And then he draws a line that resembles a wave through three of them.

The first is move in together, the second is get engaged, and the third is get married.

He doesn’t stop at the line, he goes as far as to write the dates down too. You think he’s going to hesitate on the engagement date, but gets it right perfectly.

And then he points to ‘have kids’, “I expect this one to be crossed out soon, too.”

“Not too soon, we’re both barely hitting twenty.”

He shrugs, “Whenever you want, it’s your body.”

Finnick then neatly folds the paper and tucks it into his pants, and then he stands and offers his hand to you, “One last dance, Missus Odair?”

You take it, standing, “Don’t mind if I do, Mister Gallows.”

[ilguna]

Ethereal - Chapter One (f.o)

Summary: Five years of watching your trainees die, you’re sick of it. She will prevail, she will win.

Word Count; 5.8k

Warnings; swearing, DEATH MENTION

NOTES: i give reader a last name to fit the world.

–

“(Y/n)! Reaping day!” The words ring out through the house. And instead of them settling gently, they stick in the air violently. The words echo through your head over and over.

Reed manages to forget annually that you have been awake longer than he has. That you could count the days and circle them on your calendar. He forgets that reaping day and the month that comes after seem to be the worst. Every single year.

You’ve been up since the sun peeked through your window. Knowing that you wouldn’t be sleeping lightly. Tossing and turning, trying to find a comfortable spot to sleep the rest of the night in. Obviously it didn’t happen.

The second that the sun showed, it was a reason to get up and do anything but lay in bed for longer. But when you went to get ready, you froze in place. You don’t want to be here, and you don’t want to be out there either.

Despite this, you push yourself out of bed and gather your clothes. You leave your boots at the dresser, you’ll be back in your room after the shower. It’s nothing like what you use on the train every year, but it’s better than nothing. Making tubs of cold water every morning for reaping day had gotten old.

Now it’s warm water in a shower, still with a tub. You guys give baths to Alyssum still, even though she’s turning seven or eight this year. Too old to still be babied but you don’t want to let her go. Soon, she’ll be included in the reaping.

It’s not that much of a worry. She’s got the knot tying down. She likes to fish and cook the food when given the opportunity. It isn’t often because of how she likes to burn it so it ‘tastes better’. You teach her how to use a spear and throw knives as best as you can. The problem is, when she shows she’s eager to learn, you step back.

You’re worried that she’ll want to be placed into the games because she knows all of this cool stuff and wants to try it out. She’ll volunteer at first chance to be brought into the games so she can try. And because of this fear, you started to make Reed take over.

You should be doing it, because you were the ones in the games. But the idea of watching your future twelve year old sister get picked for the games is… it reminds you of when you were in. And the misfortune the kids from district twelve had. One of them by your own hand.

You can see him in her. Which frightens you, and hardly makes it possible to be around her. The nightmares that plague you are about if Alyssum was the boy and not her. What would you have done then? Beg and plead for her to come back?

Or watching someone else do it. Being the family back home that cries when their sibling dies. Having to stand up in front of the victors when they’re on their tour. Hating every part of them for killing your child but knowing that they wouldn’t have done it if they didn’t have the chance.

It’s not your fault. It’s not any of the victors fault. The Capitol runs this, President Snow runs this as a punishment that happened over seventy years ago. He’s punishing the generations as if any of you remember. The oldest person in your district doesn’t even remember it. They declare that you guys deserve it, but time is supposed to heal wounds. They just keep digging.

Once you’re done with your shower, dressed but still with wet hair, you open the door to see your sister, holding up some flowers, “Can you put them in my hair, please? They’re busy with food.”

And they probably don’t know what they’re doing with hair either. You nod, grabbing the brush and a couple of rubber bands as you take her into your room. She sits on the floor as you sit on the bed, being gentle with her hair. You mostly get some of it out of her face, braid a spot here or there in the back. Then, you place the flowers, securing them with bobby pins.

She’s excited when she sees that it’s done. A quick hug to you before she’s running out of your room, feet thumping against the floorboard loudly as she yells for Reed to see what you did to her hair.

You pull on your socks and shoes, sliding on your mother’s ring. When you stand, you see that you can move freely. The jeans aren’t as tight as you thought they would be. You haven’t bought new clothes just yet, even though you’ve been meaning to. Laurel stopped sending you clothes a while ago.

It’s probably because her fame stopped and it went right back to the district that had won after you. It’s like trends, the stylists that had designed for the victors clothes are famous for at least a year after. And then when the new games come around, there’s someone else to focus on.

In the bathroom you pull some of your hair out of your face but leave the rest down. Then, you go downstairs to where the others will be waiting at the table.

Blonde hair stops you.

“Finnick?” You ask, he turns and looks up, you’re still in the middle of the stairs, “What are you doing here?”

Time heals all wounds right? That’s what you said, and they had healed at least a little bit. You and Finnick are on speaking terms but seeing him is as rare as it was before. He barely makes it in time to be there for reaping day. Last year, you had mentored the boy and girl on the train all by yourself. Finnick was waiting at the Capitol to help but even then, he wasn’t around.

You’d like to think that it wasn’t your fault that they died because you and him are supposed to be working together. You tried your best with what you could do. Finnick didn’t pick up his part of it. A pair of teenagers and they had a good shot at winning. Smart, they picked up things quickly. They made friends and were sure to make allies immediately.

They died because they didn’t know how to do anything medical, exactly what Finnick was supposed to do. You sent them meds, to combat infection but they couldn’t stop the bleeding. Imagine how badly you were pulling out your hair watching them bleed to death.

“Here to escort you to the stage.” He smiles, but you don’t return it.

Five years later and he still seems to be in love with you. He still thinks he can win you back even though he’s still doing the same shit. Thankfully, he stopped promising he would change and finally came to terms with the fact that he won’t make the deadlines ever.

“And why do I have this pleasure?” You ask, heading over to the dining room, Reed looks up at you. There’s a silent question on whether or not you want him to get Finnick out of here. You don’t answer.

“I want to talk strategy.”

“We’re not in the games.” You mutter to him, fixing Alyssum’s flower before it falls out of her hair. She holds up a bobby pin for you to secure it. Then, you go and sit at your own spot at the table, “Joining us for breakfast?”

“I guess I will.” He says, and then moved to sit next to you.

Off to your right as usual.

It’s mostly quiet except for Alyssum’s occasional chatter. Your eyes are watching the clock, knowing that you’ll have to get there early to be on the stage. Your family doesn’t have to be awake this early, they just choose to do it so that you can eat together. After all, it is an especially hard day.

They stopped seeing you off at the stations after you asked them not to. You’d rather they help out around town or something. It’s not like you’re going to die or anything. You won’t be permanently staying in the Capitol either. Unlike Finnick, you don’t like the luxury that they insist on showing off.

You’d rather be where your heart is, where you grew up. You figured this out a couple of years ago, that Finnick didn’t come home because his heart isn’t here. You weren’t his family then, his family was dead and it was better to be in the Capitol than anywhere near where his family had died.

Even if he’s closer to Snow in the Capitol. Closer to the person that had killed that family. You promised to be the replacement, to allow your brothers be his, but he hadn’t taken it. He couldn’t stand to be in the district, which was why he chose to leave early. He hadn’t stuck around for the festivities for all that long because he was too close.

Finnick didn’t show up on the tour because he would have to face what he had done. The people of the Capitol think that he’s so great and strong and charming. When you’re carrying this heavy load for both him and you. You faced the families, you let him lean on you, you took those interviews, and pretended to be embarrassed when he presented love stories for you in front of the nation. You stand and watch as the kids get picked in the reaping, be the only one to mentor them, and get them sponsors and watch them die. You have to apologize to the families when you deliver them dead.

Finnick has been the damsel all along. And you hope that he’ll shape up to what he needs to be soon. These games, you’re keeping him right next to you no matter what it takes.

You might be irritated that it took him five years to show, but he needs to see that this is no job for one person. If you have to pretend to be in love with him, well shit is tough. Anything it’ll take for him to be around for every single part of it. From beginning to end.

“Finnick, we should go now.” You tell him, getting up from the tale. You’d finished all your food but it looks like Finnick had been taking his time.

“What—“ He begins, but you don’t listen.

“I’ll see you three in a bit, huh?” You tickle Alyssum a little bit and she squirms out of your arms.

“Happy hunger games.” Reed mutters bitterly, you laugh with Mox.

Before you go, Alyssum hops out of her seat to give you a hug and thank you for doing her hair again. And then, you and Finnick are out the door.

“Do you normally leave this early?” He asks after some bit of silence.

Of course he wouldn’t know anything about being on time for one of these. The second games you had mentored he showed up during the boys’ reaping, and that was the last you’d seen of him. It might have been shame that inspired him to not return for the past few years.

“Yes.” You tell him, starting for Mags’ house. Finnick completely misses this, and you catch his arm, yanking him with you, “Pay attention.”

You make him stay put out of her house and you go in. You don’t bother with knocking, because her door is always unlocked. There’s no point in locking it, no one would rob you guys. What is there to take besides meaningless statues? Hell, none of your money is actually in hand either. You have to go up to the District Four “office” building just to take out a portion of it.

Inside, Mags is sitting at the chair, drinking what looks like tea. She smiles and motions you over, holding up the same cup for you to taste. You take a small sip to please her, and you’re happy to taste something so sweet.

“That’s new.” You tell her, and she laughs. She finishes off the tea and you help her to her feet. She’s only getting older, which makes it harder for her to walk around and all of that.

She takes your arm, and the both of you begin to leave the house. However, you have to give her a little warning, because one would have done you good too. Mags doesn’t show it, but she’s irritated that Finnick had left you the job alone.

“Finnick is outside.” You tell her, “He says he’s here to mentor.”

She scowls slightly, and you laugh. You know exactly what she’s thinking. It’s the same you thought when you heard that he was going to help. How long will it last and does he actually mean it?

Once you reach the doorway, Finnick perks up and goes to help you. You hold your hand out, because you get her up and down these stairs multiple times a day. She doesn’t want to be carried, because she can do it on her own. She just wants a little help so she doesn’t slip.

The door is shut, and you have your arm there, her hand hovers over it as she takes it one step at a time. When you look up to see Finnick, there’s grief. He’s missed a lot, and in that time you were able to get to know Mags well enough to the point where you’d know when he can and can’t help.

She moves faster on regular ground, no longer needing your arm. She may walk faster than your average elderly, but you still had to leave early for her. You’ll have to walk Finnick through what it’s like to sit in those chairs. Proper and poise, there’s no time to be slouching.

Cameras will be on you guys. Watching and waiting to see if it’s any family member that gets picked. Luckily for you, your sister is still too young and brothers too old. Finnick doesn’t have any family to worry about and Mags never had any kids.

The cameras and people in the Capitol will be hoping for something dramatic, and you’ll be sure that Finnick doesn’t provide. He can stand tall and wave to the cameras because he’s the darling of the Capitol. But this is no show, this is a time for mourning.

At the stage is six chairs. The first two are for your governor and the district representative, Elysia. The next four are for the victors. First sits Mags, a gap for the guy who you still haven’t seen, you, and then Finnick. While you watch as the people file into where they’ll be standing, waiting to be picked, you explain how it’ll go to Finnick.

Reed, Mox and Alyssum show up at about the same time as Caspian and his family does. Alyssum is still on Reed’s shoulders and she waves to you when she sees you. You blow her a kiss, she pretends to grab it. Mox casually slides away, and you catch him meeting up with a girl. He knows you’re watching, so he disappears with her.

One the square is filled, the normal routine goes through. The anthem, the reminder, the speech from the governor. The introduction of Elysia, her wishing a happy hunger games and for the odds to be in everyone’s favor. Then she gives a small look to you specifically and you nod.

You and Elysia are on better terms now, she can sympathize with what you had to deal with. She knows you’re under a lot of stress during the hunger games so she keeps interactions light and to the point. She helps with sponsors, and shaping kids’ personalities.

Her hand plunged into the bowl, grabbing one off to the side. No matter what slip she grabs it’s always going to be a girl on the other end. There’s no right choice here, it’s just the matter of her accidentally picking a teenager rather than a kid.

She removes the tape, and then takes a deep breath as she leans towards the microphone, “Annie Cresta.”

The name echoes from the delay, your eyes sweep over the girls section. Hoping for a teenager, someone who’s tall and looks capable for what’s to come.

A girl in the sixteen section comes forward. You must have let out a breath of relief, because Finnick turns to look at you. You pay no attention, leaning forward, watching at how she walks up to the stage.

Definitely not proud, and surprised that she was picked. The couple seconds of delay of her realizing it was her name isn’t that big of a deal. She still came relatively quickly. At least she didn’t run like the kid in your first year. They were a lost hope and targeted immediately in the arena.

Annie’s most prominent feature is the red hair. She’s got bangs and it’s kinda long. The stylists will have a hay day when it comes to it. There’s so many different ways they’ll be able to style it.

She’s pretty, the Capitol will love her. Hopefully not enough to turn her into a prostitute like they did Finnick. If it weren’t for the fact that Snow had done that to him, then none of the problems would have happened. You and Finnick would be going five years strong.

She’s short though. You clear her very easily, Finnick will look like a giant next to her. Kinda muscular, it’s what you guys get for working with fish and wrangling them up all the time. She looks to be middle class almost—because that still unfortunately exists in District Four. You’d even be considered to be upper class, if it weren’t for the games then you’d still be between lower and middle.

You’ll be able to help her.

She reaches the stage quickly, accepting Elysia’s hand for help. Stops right behind the bowl, and you watch as she straightens up her back. One look at the little tv off to the side, you can see she isn’t going to cry. She looks serious. She looks like she’s going to pose a threat.

And then Elysia moves on to the boys. Digging her hand into the paper, she pulls out the one. Removed the tape, unfolds it, a moment to read, a deep breath to say and she leans forward.

“Marsh Milillio.” She reads the name easily, even though it sounds like the last name is complicated.

A brown haired boy lurches forward from the thirteen area. Your heart sinks in your chest, it’s too young of an age. He won’t survive past the first day unless Annie helps him in the arena.

The boy doesn’t even make it two steps before the, “I volunteer!” Is echoing through the air.

You and Finnick lean forward a bit more. Because this will be interesting. An older sibling, definitely. They look almost like twins except for the fact that he’s coming from the seventeen section. Tall, somewhat muscular. But he looks worried.

Marsh seems to reach for the boy who had volunteered for him. The boy pushes him away, back into his section as he continues to the stairs. This isn’t about glory, this is about looking tough and as if he doesn’t need them. You can take a bet right now that he’ll cry when he’s finally left alone with his brother and parents in the departing room.

Elysia is surprised, as are you. There haven’t been a ton of volunteers in your district. Careers, but not careers. It’s like the middle class, you suppose. But this time you’re somewhere between high and middle like district three, five, etc. The high class is obviously district one and two. Lower ones being ten, eleven, twelve and whatever else might fit into the category.

The boy gets on the stage, and he stands tall with his shoulders back. Both very capable tributes it seems, the older ones seem to understand that they need to look strong to win. They won’t be messed with if they’re making themselves look bigger and meaner.

Obviously the other tributes will see where they walk from. All district sections are mirrored the same. Age twelve in front, and all the way to eighteen in the back. This is typically because the younger ones are shorter, and it gets taller as they go back. Of course, this doesn’t work all the time because there are a few who sprout early.

Girls on left, boys on right. It’s the same. Family hangs around the very back and sometimes the sides. Even if you’re not family, you’re required to go unless you’re sick and dying in bed. If that is the case, a peacekeeper will check it to make sure that they are dying. They don’t send out sick tributes at all, it doesn’t look good for the show, if they die easily on the first day of the games.

Anyway, your point is, you’re not entirely sure how people even thought that you and Finnick were intimidating when you had gone up on the stage. A fifteen year old girl and a fourteen year old boy. Maybe it was because of how confident both of you were when it came to the games. You guys looked prepared and almost like you had been picked specifically for it.

Too bad you’re not in district one or two, then maybe you’d believe it. They train their kids all the way up until they’re an age the trainers believe they could win. And they they pick them out specifically, forced to volunteer or whatever. Go into the games, win more than they lose, and come home to a grand victor house.

You guess it’s because it keeps the glory on the favored districts. Keep the rich, rich. And keep the poor districts, poor. If the other districts, like ten–they’re livestock–were to start winning then they would have the possibility of being favored. Guess where all their lamb, cow, chicken and pig come from? District ten. If the Capitol ever truly recognized that, then one and two would be fucked.

All those weapons for the peacekeepers and for the games? Come from district three. Without them, everyone inside of the arena would still be beating each other to death with rocks. That would be boring, and the only thing that would develop out of that would be the tributes learning how to throw and bettering their aim. Everyone in the districts would start training their kids specifically to be able to throw rocks. How useless.

Or district eleven, all their plums, apples, oranges, pears, bananas, all of that comes from district eleven because they’re agriculture. Capitol wouldn’t be enjoying their fruits and veggies without them. All those delicacies on their deserts, their breakfasts, dinners, lunches, snacks. All those foods that they throw up during their parties, come from every single district that makes food. Including four.

Your question truly is, what’s so special about one and two? All one does is make couches, lamps, lightbulbs and all of that. Sure, things that you can’t live without–actually, yes you can! You can live without all of those things. District two is the same. Masonry? Are you joking? They help make the weapons that three do. And three isn’t even in on the glory!

You know what you can’t live without? Food and water. Food comes from four, and nine, and ten, and eleven. Four districts that make the food that they eat, the you eat, that the rest of panem eats. And there’s only one of you in the spotlight for it all, and it has to be fishing. Instead of eleven that deserves it, or ten.

Another district that definitely deserves to be shown off to the rest of the Capitol, is district eight. All those clothes come from them. The exotic shit that’s on demand all the time from the Capitol comes from them. They work their asses off to make sure that the clothes make it there in time before the trends pass.

And let’s not forget some honorable mentions. District seven and twelve, no one would be warm without wood and coal. District five, power. That keeps every single district running, including the Capitol. And the Capitol takes up enough power to make sure that the other districts only get it for a couple of hours a day. Excluding the tribute houses, which is so extremely unfair. Six is transportation. If it weren’t for six, there would be no trains, cars, elevators, anything. No tributes, food, lumber, coal, textiles, masonry, all that furniture, without the trains.

And yet, one, two and four manage to be the most popular districts. It’s bullshit. It’s unfair. It’s stupid.

Elysia leans over to the boy, “And what’s your name?”

“Paslee Milillio.” he says, you lean back.

A brother, family, it’s expected. Save the younger one, since you love them too much. It means he bonded well with them, he could use that during the interviews. Be a tough guy with a soft heart, people will eat that right up. As for Annie, you’ll have a clue on her soon, you just need to dig, and most importantly, talk to her.

Elysia wraps it up after that. Soon, they’re being escorted off the stage and into the rooms inside of the Justice Building–the main district building. During this time, you say your goodbyes to your family just like the others. No danger in this, you just like to leave off on the right foot.

You hardly argue with them anymore. If it is, it’s stupid little things. So to worry about starting a huge fight with them is practically impossible. You see them around the side, give hugs and say goodbyes, and then you’ll get on the train with the others, and begin your mentoring.

“Where are you heading?” Finnick asks, and you remember that he’s clueless.

Taking his arm, you drag him with you, not saying anything. He tries to slip to your hand not-so-subtly, but you just regrasp his arm, he seems to understand after that. If you have to drag Finnick by the arm everywhere to make sure that he’s going to stick around, then you’ll do that.

You’ll lay down all the rules later, in private. Inside the train where he can’t escape so easily.

Reed is there with Alyssum, no Mox in sight.

“Where is he?” you ask, releasing Finnick’s arm.

Reed’s eyes dart to Finnick for a moment, and you sigh. Turning around, Finnick’s eyebrows are raised, “What?”

He’s in the family. You promised him five years ago he would be in the family. Yours is his and his is yours. You regret it all now. And you don’t regret much anymore.

“This is an us thing.” You begin to explain, and he holds up his hands.

“Okay, I get it–” he goes to walk off, but you catch his arm.

“Finnick,” he looks at you, “A me, you, Reed, Alyssum, Mox and maybe Caspian thing. This is a family affair.”

He turns his body towards you, “I don’t remember being family.”

“Unfortunately you’ve been family since the celebrations when we won five years ago.” you tell him, “If this shit gets to the public of the Capitol, you can consider yourself as good as dead.”

“You underestimate me.” he squints at you.

You tilt your head, lips pursing, “Really? Because I think this is a pretty big job for you.”

Letting go of his arm, you look to Reed again, and you can see the hint of a smirk. It’s too small for Finnick to know it. He would have been able to recognize it by now if he had been with you these past five years. Reed does it when he knows something that you don’t. You can guess what it is this time. It’s the tension, he’s going to call it romantic because Finnick still obviously loves you. And you’ll agree, but your part is irritation. Whether or not he agrees, you’ll find out after the games.

“Mox is seeing some girl.” Reed tells you, shifting on his feet, “He’s giving her money. I think that’s all she’s after.”

“How much is he taking from the justice building?” you ask.

Technically your family can go up and take it. Reed especially since he is your guardian, which he filed for as soon as possible after your dad had died in that boating accident. He’s in charge of you, Mox and Alyssum. Sometimes he takes out cash in advance so that you guys can cruise for a month at a time. You only need so much that you get from victors winnings, the most of it you’re saving up.

What for? A trip to the other districts.

You’ve met a lot of the victors since the sixtieth hunger games. You actually got to meet Gloss and Cashmere, they’re pretty good friends of yours. The only times you get to see them is during the mentoring and when they win the games. You were able to pull some strings and it turns out that you could go and stay with them for a bit, catch the train back and then still see them during the games.

Enobaria too, she won the sixty-second games, district two. You didn’t like her as much though, because the teeth really freaked you out. The reason why she had her teeth sharpened into points is because of the fact that she had bitten and ripped out the neck of the other career. It’s how she won her games, you guess.

To you, it’s disgusting that she would choose to embrace a memory like that. You can hardly handle your nightmares now, and they’re so… you’ve had years to get used to them. But then there’s the careers, and they don’t really get them at all. You talked to Gloss and Cashmere about it, and they said that they don’t get them.

Maybe for like a week that had gotten them, but they stopped. They said that you should be getting over yours soon. But here you are, still waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. Trying to remind yourself that they’re only nightmares, and they’re not actual memories.

Also, talking to them unlocked a friendship, obviously. You know them better than you ever thought you would. You learned a couple of things about Cashmere, which is that she was also sold around in the Capitol following her year. Which would be from the sixty-fourth to sixty-fifth. She was being sold when you were still in the games.

She was a teenager.

She wanted to know if the same thing was happening to Finnick still. Saying something that he has to be high demand if he’s still being bought. But you were kind enough to inform her of a few things. The first, he’s still there because he likes the spotlight and his title of ‘darling of the Capitol’. Second, he’s not even gaining any money from it. He’s getting ‘secrets’ that he won’t bother to tell you.

Unlike Finnick, she got out as soon as possible. She doesn’t have nightmares about the games because she’s still too busy screaming about what used to happen to her. When you think or look at Finnick now, you wonder what’s worse to him. Being sold, or the games.

“Mox is taking enough to supply a small family.” Reed tells you, Alyssum wanders over and hugs your lower body, you rub her back slightly, fixing the flower in her hair.

“Well, I’ll talk to them when I get back, I guess. How often?”

“Once a week. But it’s taking a toll on the savings.”

“What are you even saving for?” Finnick asks.

You look to him, “Anything that Reed, Mox or Alyssum will need when they get married and buy houses of their own.”

“They won’t stay with you?” he asks.

“Finnick, they’ll have families of their own. Wives, husband, kids. Even if I’m not going to have any of that, doesn’t mean I want them to crowd my house. Feel free to rent out your own though. Your things are collecting dust.” you shake your head slightly.

Finnick seems to be quiet, and then he asks, “You’re not going to have kids?”

“Or get married.” Reed adds, it’s sour. When it comes out of his mouth it’s an accusation.

Two things on the list of things you wanted to do with him. First on that list was to get through the tour together. Second, mentor a pair of kids every year until you’re old enough for marriage. Then, Finnick would propose, you guys would get married, and a few years later have some kids. Maybe get a winning tribute somewhere in there, make some friends of tributes along the way. Grandkids, holidays, all of that.

Amazingly, there’s not a single man in this district that understands, or will ever understand what you went through. They make it about them, and they’re always after the money.

Finnick? The other victors? They understand. They get it.

You’ve begun to surround yourself with people that get it and accept it. Your main family, including Mags and Finnick you suppose. The other victors. Caspian’s family because they had pitched in the most for the rope they sent you during the games. And the list gets smaller every year, when all they do is come to you to get things for them. When they never talked to you before the games at all.

“No, I gave that up.” you tell him, looking to Reed, “I’ve got to go. I’ll mention it to the governor before I go, have him take Mox off of the list. Hide any cash around the house, maybe even return it to the buildings if they’ll allow it.”

“Got it.” he tells you, coming over and giving you a hug with Alyssum, who seems like she doesn’t want to let go.

Finnick is standing off adjacently, and so you hold your arm out for him. Reed catches on, extending his arm. Finnick’s face turns a light shade of red but he comes over. You mostly lean into Reed, and then you guys pull away.

“I’ll see you soon, Aly. Be good at school, listen to Reed.” You tell her.

“Always have.” She grins, she’s still missing a tooth from last week, it should be coming in any day now, “Bye!”

You kiss her forehead, shove Reed, and then you take Finnick along with you to the Justice building. On the way you mention the money thing, and then you’re meeting up with Elysia and the other tributes.

Happy hunger games.

[ilguna]

Tacenda - The Interview (f.o)

Summary: you’ll never truly be free from the Capitol.

Word Count; 3k

Warnings; swearing, DEATH MENTION, DEATH

NOTES: i give reader a last name to fit the world.

–

Alyssum stares at the camera crew, watching as they push back the couches and armchairs to make room for the massive camera and the lights. The entire coffee table now sits inside of the kitchen because there is no use for it. As for the lights, each one turned on makes the room a lot brighter.

It hurts her eyes somewhat. The house has never been this lit up before, as far as she remembers. Of course, the house has lights of their own, but you never really have them on. It’s always the lamps in the corners that you have turned on. The only real time the house is bright like this, is during the day when the shutters and curtains are open.

Alyssum looks up to Reed to see that he’s stoic--as usual. His arms are crossed, and his eyes follow every movement that the Capitol people make. She knows that he can see her staring from the corner of his eye, but he doesn’t look over. Or say anything about it.

“Projecting.” One of the crew members says, there’s a device in his hands that he taps on, and then most of the people with him look up to the spot above the camera.

Caesar appears on his show. Behind him is a screen that shows the family of a different tribute, they look like they’re answering a question. Alyssum can’t hear anything they’re saying, though. There’s no audio to the visual just yet, and even then, she thinks that they won’t let her or Reed listen in.

Alyssum watches as Elysia takes a seat on the couch, her legs properly crossed, “Is it just the three of you again?”

“Yes.” Reed answers, “Caesar knows that we’re interviewing as Finnick’s family too, right?”

“He does, but the questions aren’t going to be aimed at him.” The guy who put up the hologram says, “There might be a few, but it’ll mostly be directed on (Y/n) because she’s the direct family.”

“Are there friend interviews this year?” Reed asks.

“No, we’re making an exception.”

“Why?” Alyssum asks.

The guy looks up from the device, his eyes landing on her, “They’re not nearly as important. Most of the tributes only have family to account for, anyway. Take Finnick as an example.”

“Push that light back a little bit, it’s in the shot.”

They inch the light back until it’s just barely out of the camera’s view, and then they leave it alone.

“You’re good to get up now, Elysia.”

“Thank you.” She stands, and turns to Alyssum and Reed, “Where’s Mox?”

“Here.” Mox says, coming down the stairs, “Sorry, I had to trade shirts.”

She looks over him, judging his outfit, and then she nods, “It’s better than what you were wearing before, I’ll give you that.”

“Thanks.” Mox rolls his eyes.

Elysia clasps her hands together, and then moves to be in front of the three of them, “Do I need to brief you guys again?”

“Sure.” Reed shrugs.

She gives him a look, “Caesar’s going to ask for your names again, oldest to youngest. I’d suggest answering that way to every question, to keep things organized.”

“Three minutes, he just ended the interview.” device guy says.

“Sit on the couch.” Elysia says, “Alyssum in the middle.”

“Same way as the first time?” Reed asks.

“Yes.” Elysia trails behind them.

Reed takes his seat a little to the left, making Alyssum sit in the middle, and then Mox to the right. Elysia looks them over for a moment, before readjusting as she needs to. She makes them all scoot together more, allowing as little room between them as possible.

“The hologram will be showing Caesar, and behind him will have you guys on it. Don’t look at it too often, or the camera will automatically move to cover it, since it wants your best angles, and where you all look the most.” Elysia steps back, “Chins up, and smile when it first starts.

“Don’t be short with answers, because Caesar will just ask more. I want you three to remember that he’s going to try to make this experience as comfortable as possible, he’s not trying to make it bad on purpose. He’ll want to keep things flowing, and interesting. We’re not trying to lose the audience, it might even be a good way to get sponsors.”

“Was I on the first one?” Alyssum asks.

“You were just a toddler, but yes.” Reed tells her, “He’s probably going to comment on how much you’ve aged.

“How about all of us?” Mox laughs to himself, and Reed joins in.

“The first time around he called us young, I wonder what he’ll think now.”

“Ten years and he hasn’t aged a day.”

“Well--” Elysia interjects, making them laugh, “--I wouldn’t say that.”

“Thirty seconds.” device man reminds.

“Everything is going to be fine, breathe. And not all of you have to answer every question if you don’t want to. But keep it one to two answers every question.”

“We’ll try.” Reed says.

Elysia moves out of the way of the camera, standing off to the side like the rest of the crew. Alyssum readjusts on the couch cushion anxiously, especially since she just remembered that her entire class will be seeing her on this show. No, the entire country will be seeing her.

The man starts counting down from ten, and Elysia gives one last reminder to sit up straighter, which they all do.

Then, the audio of an audience cheering fills the living room. Alyssum gives a natural smile, crossing her legs to try and look more modest. 

“This is them, everybody! The family of two of our most favored victors! Finnick and (Y/n) Odair!” Caesar motions to the screen behind him, “Let’s get a side-by-side comparison to the last time we saw them!”

The audience cheers louder, and Alyssum takes the chance to see how drastically she’s changed exactly. Of course, Reed was right when he said that she was a toddler, because she literally was. She was three then, and now she’s thirteen. A whole ten years.

It’s crazy for her to think that she was alive during your first games. She would never have thought about it like that. The fact that she was so young, and unable to process the fact that you were missing from the house. Alyssum didn’t know what was going on then, but she does now.

“Look at that growth!” Caesar motions to Alyssum, “She’s a whole person now! Old enough for the games!”

A chill goes down Reed’s spine, and Alyssum can feel it from where she’s sitting. Mox’s grip around her shoulders tighten considerably, as if Caesar will be able to reach through the hologram and pull her right out of her seat.

The worst part is that the live audience reacts to that positively, as if they enjoy the idea of her being drawn for the games.

“Let’s start with names, from oldest to youngest, please.” Caesar asks.

“My name is Reed.” Reed says.

“And how old are you now, Reed?” Caesar asks.

“Thirty.” 

Caesar doesn’t comment.

“Mox, twenty-nine.” he says, not waiting for the question.

Caesar smiles, nodding along, and then he waits patiently for Alyssum.

She gives a timid smile, “Alyssum.”

“And how old are you, my dear?” Caesar’s voice is gentle, like he’s not trying to scare her off.

“Thirteen.”

“You’ve grown quite a lot, Alyssum. The last time I saw you, you stole the hearts of myself, and the audience.” He grins, “Isn’t that right folks? She was adorable! And not only that--she also looked very similar to her older sister, even at that age.”

Alyssum wouldn’t say that she looks like you now. She knows that she definitely had a mix between you and your guys’ mom, but that’s all she’ll admit. Now, she looks a lot like mom more than anything.

The audience cheers, agreeing with him. And with that, Caesar starts the interview, “Tell me, were you all aware that (Y/n) would be volunteering to go into the games with Finnick?”

Reed takes in a deep breath, “No, we didn’t. All we did know was that she had a plan made in her head. We believe that she had done it to be with Finnick inside of the arena.”

“You believe it was selfish? That she wouldn’t rather stay with her family?”

Alyssum shakes her head, “Not selfish.”

“How so?” There’s a smile creeping onto his face.

“(Y/n) loves Finnick with her whole heart.” Mox answers for her, “She’s loved him since she was fifteen. There might have been a five year gap between the first games and her marriage, but we all know that she always wanted Finnick. They were practically made for each other.”

“(Y/n) volunteered because she wanted to be with Finnick until her last days.” Reed says.

“And be with him, she shall.” Caesar nods, “What happened when you had to say goodbye to her?”

Reed scoffs, and Mox shakes his head. Alyssum’s eyes wander off to the side, not liking this question.

“We weren’t able to, a private goodbye allowed this year. The only goodbye we had was at the train station, and even then we didn’t get to say it properly.” Reed is clearly trying to put it nicely.

Caesar nods, “But you saw her message during the interview?”

“Of course.” Reed nods, “However, that’s not an actual goodbye, we should have been allowed to see each other in a private setting.”

“I’m sorry that didn’t come true.” Caesar, in fact, looks like he’s not sorry at all, but he moves on anyway, ”If I remember correctly, during the first tribute parade, you weren’t fond of her outfit then. What about now? Did you like what her stylists had given her?”

“She’s an adult now, so it’s a different story. This year’s outfit was a lot more coverage than when she was fifteen.” Reed answers.

Mox nods along, not really having anything to say about it. So, Alyssum jumps right in, “I liked the top especially, the skirt seemed a little too… flimsy. The fabric was thin, and it showed off wrinkles too easily.”

Caesar laughs, “Is that so?”

“I would have chosen a stiffer fabric.” Alyssum makes a face, tilting her head, “As for Finnick, I think he was just fine. Whatever net that they were both wearing clearly irritated their skin, you can see the red marks on their arms and legs if you watch their close up.”

Mox laughs, “She’s been interested in the fashion that cycles through the Capitol. If you think this opinion is big, you won’t like what she has to say for some of the trends that you go through.”

“Someone should recommend her to be a stylist, then.” Caesar laughs, “What do you think? Do you think she would be able to design better outfits than some of the stylists we have already?” 

The audience cheers pretty loudly for that, but Alyssum doesn’t really care. She wouldn’t really want to go to the Capitol and design trends for them. She'd much rather do it from the comforts of her own district. She might not be in District Eight, but she can make things work.

You do give her a pretty big allowance, and she saves it most of the time. With all that she has saved up, she could buy herself a sewing machine, thread and a ton of different cloths. She’d have to learn how to use the machine, but she’s a quick thinker. It won’t be long before she’s making outfits that she can wear to school.

“We might just have to see what you can make!” Caesar laughs, “We’re always needing fresh minds.”

Alyssum gives a small smile.

“How did you feel about their training scores?” Caesar wanders on the stage a bit to open up the room behind him to show off the scores, “There wasn’t much improvement to be made, but they got up there.”

Alyssum is a little surprised to see a ten as your first score, the same as Finnick. You two were fourteen and fifteen, barely older than she is now. And you two just managed to get the best scores that there was to get the first time around. 

“(Y/n) likely did one of her tricks that she’s been training for these past few months,” Reed leans back against the couch, “Her and Finnick have been working their asses off to prepare for the games. I’m sure whatever happened inside of the training room itself was a big help to her score.”

“I believe so, too.” Caesar says, “Unfortunately, we don’t get to see anything that goes inside of the training center, but I was told that she nearly outshone the other tributes when she was training.”

“Sounds like her.” Mox says, “There was hardly a day where her and Finnick were taking a break from training. It took months to build up her endurance, she could run around with Alyssum on her back and not break a sweat. She’s in great condition.”

“I’m disappointed that she hadn’t gotten a twelve.” Caesar barely gets out, before the audience is shouting in agreeance, “If anyone had deserved to make history, it might as well have been her--and Finnick for that matter!”

But instead it was the sixteen year olds. Both earning twelves when it wasn’t due. Alyssum was a little glad that you hadn’t gotten that high of a score, though. With all that you taught her, she bets that you’re happy you hadn’t gotten a twelve either. It just means more trouble when you’re inside of the arena.

“Do either of you have a clue what trick she pulled off this time? I remember the last was two knives.”

Reed shakes his head, “No idea. I couldn’t remember the first trick until she came home and showed me.”

“It’s probably around the same thing she showed the first time. And with our luck, we won’t be able to see her actually use it in the arena.” Mox says, “She mostly does the tricks for show, not for practical use. When she fights, she’s not trying to be dainty, she’s trying to be deadly.”

Alyssum can’t help her facial expression, and Caesar notices this, which puts a whole new tone on the interview.

“I almost forgot that it’s the first time Alyssum will be watching her dear older sister inside of the games.” Caesar is gentle again, “How do you feel, knowing that she’s in danger? Or that she’s doing… unladylike things?”

Reed scowls, and Alyssum’s eyes narrow, “They’re not unladylike, she’s doing what she has to do to survive, and I know that. I’m not a child, Caesar, I’m thirteen. I’m just a year older than the requirements to start getting my name pulled out of the glass bowl. You can’t preserve the innocence of the people, if you’re the one that’s taking the innocence away.

“And she’s not in danger, either. She’s got Finnick, and Johanna, and Katniss and Peeta and Beetee. She’s as safe as she can be, because she’s got a nice group of allies. The only danger in there, is the arena that you’ve engineered. Other than that, she can handle herself, and her friends.

“Enobaria and Brutus mean absolutely nothing to her.” Alyssum crosses her arms, “May the odds be ever in their favor.”

There’s a silence that fills the living room, and the audience. No one speaks for a good moment, until Reed laughs. He’s not laughing at her, he’s laughing at the fact that she just spoke the minds of plenty of people watching.

Caesar gives a weak smile, “How do you feel about her performance inside of the arena so far?”

Alyssum is on a rebellious streak, so she answers before her brothers, “I think that she could be doing better, killing more people, doing more unladylike things.”

Mox has a smile hinting at the corners of his mouth, “I will say that it’s a lot more uneventful than it was in her first games. She’s not nearly as into it as she was before, and it’s probably because she’s hyperfixating on her and Finnick’s survival.”

“She’s obviously been keeping a close eye on the others,” Reed says, “You can tell by her body language, the only person she really trusts is Johanna, and that’s because they’ve met on several occasions. Other than that, it’s clear that she’s wary of Katniss and Peeta’s movements. 

“Probably because they’ve been so distrusting, which is starting to reflect on her too. She likes to give people the benefit of the doubt, but they’re testing her patience a bit.” 

Caesar looks off to the side, and he almost looks relieved, “We’re almost out of time, so you know what that means.” he looks back at the camera, “Reed, if there was one thing you could say to (Y/n) and Finnick right now, what would it be?”

“I’d tell (Y/n) that she’s doing great, and to not doubt any of her choices. She went in there with a plan to keep Finnick safe, and she’s gotta keep that in mind. As for Finnick, I’d ask him to keep a closer eye on my baby sister, because she needs him, like he needs her.” Reed looks over to Mox next.

Mox shrugs somewhat, “I’m just worried about her safety around the other victors. I’d tell her and Finnick to look for double-meanings in plans, and if they’ll compromise safety and trust. Finnick is quick on his feet, so I think he’ll be able to catch on if there’s a hint of trouble. (Y/n) shouldn’t be trying to get too close to the others.”

“I’d tell them that I miss them.” Alyssum tightens her arms, “The house isn’t the same without them here. Everyone in District Four misses them, especially Annie since they’re good friends of hers. And I hope to see either of them really soon, as the winners of the games.”

Caesar gives a thoughtful nod, before a smile appears on his face, “Well, that’s all the time we have for you. (Y/n) and Finnick have been together since the very beginning, so it makes sense that they’ll be together until the end!” he laughs, Reed grits his teeth, “Ladies and gentlemen, the family of (Y/n) and Finnick Odair!”

[ilguna]

Tacenda - Chapter Twenty One (f.o)

Summary: you’ll never truly be free from the Capitol.

Word Count; 1.2k

Warnings; swearing, DEATH MENTION

NOTES: i give reader a last name to fit the world.

–

Alyssum holds onto your arm tightly, as if she’s afraid that she’ll lose you in this crowd. It’s unlikely, you’d be able to spot her anywhere in here, and she’d be able to do the same thing. It’s partly because she’s required to wear this white outfit in order to be identified as a patient. Just like how you and Finnick were required to wear it at first, too.

The nurses and doctors also have their own outfit too, and you’re a little bit jealous of it. It’s a really cute dress, you wish you were able to wear it. The jumpsuit is a little stiff and kinda itchy, and obviously, everyone is wearing it. You know why the doctors and nurses have a different outfit, of course. It’s because if there was an emergency, they’d be able to distinguish an actual nurse from a regular person.

You all find a spot that’s big enough for you guys to stand. Alyssum is in front of you, Finnick is to your right, and your brothers are to your left. 

“Do these happen often?” Reed asks.

“Kinda, yeah.” you tell him, watching as the levels begin to fill up with people coming around to the railing, “We’ve seen a couple of these already. It won’t last long.”

Finnick looks over, “Coin keeps all of her people up to date. Here, everyone is basically seen as one big family.”

“Which means, tread carefully.” you tell them, “Don’t speak out of line, even if you’re unhappy.”

“Force a smile, got it.” Reed nods, he’s taking in the people around you.

“How many people are here?” Mox asks.

“Thousands.” you say, “But not as much as our actual districts. Everything is controlled here.”

“Yeah, I bet.” Mox looks up, “How many floors?”

“Planning your escape?” Finnick teases a little bit, “More than forty.”

You nod, “There’s a bunker below us, for air raid attacks. But I hope we won’t have to go through that again. It was enough for the first time.”

“The first time?” Alyssum asks quietly.

“Yeah,” you play with her hair a little bit, “Peeta had warned us of an attack that was coming. It’s the whole reason why up there,” you point, “Is destroyed.”

“And that was only a couple days ago.” Finnick says, “Like a day or so before you guys were rescued from the training center. It’s still fresh.”

You tilt your head a little bit, “But I can imagine that the Capitol won’t attack again, not so soon. They’ll probably want to keep their nuclear shit, build up again just in case we do cause a full-blown war.”

“It’s not already?” Reed asks.

Finnick laughs, “Not by any means. The districts are rioting, but that’s about it. The Capitol has it under control for now.”

You nod along to this. From everything that you know, they haven’t done anything significant just yet. The Capitol has definitely upped the amount of peacekeepers that reside inside of the districts, just to make sure that they have somewhat of an upperhand. But you’re still talking to Haymitch about what goes on.

The districts are organizing attacks, they’re not sitting by idly while this all happens, they’re doing what they can to further it. Because they don’t want to be ruled like this anymore, they want freedom. The games had worked for so long, but it’s time for a change. It wouldn’t work forever.

Especially if something as simple as two tributes protesting a rule change can ruin the entire system. The gamemakers acted as if it was a big deal, but they normally allow a double-tribute win every ten years. You don’t really see the harm in allowing them to come home together, at all.

It would have been so simple had they not changed it. As if they couldn’t afford to crown another two victors again that year. You guess they were just trying to flex their power to show that their generosity isn’t anything to take seriously. That sometimes it’s just a tease, and that’s it. But they were stupid to do it in the first place.

Katniss and Peeta were smart to make that move, to force their hand like that. It was giving the gamemakers some insight, that tributes are willing to go that far. That they are willing to do anything they can to get home alive, and safe.

And it’s not really unreasonable either, to want to go home and see your family again. So, they should have anticipated a reaction like that, and you can think of a hundred reasons why they should’ve. They made the rule change, they’re both teenagers, they were star-crossed lovers, the list goes on.

Slowly, everyone starts clapping and cheering. You look up to see if Coin is coming forward, and she is. There’s a smile on her face, as she waves for a couple of seconds, before waiting at the microphone for you guys to quiet down. Get it all out of your system now, rather than later.

“Good evening,” she says as soon as the crowd quiets, “Yesterday I authorized a covert rescue mission inside the Capitol. I am pleased to announce that the victors have been liberated!”

The crowd starts cheering again, and you give a little look to Finnick to find that he’s already looking at you. He takes a step closer, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and pulling you closer to his body.

“Let this day mark a historic change, with the mockingjay and the victors beside us. We have sent a clear message to the Capitol, that we will never again endure injustice.” The crowd cheers, “Today, a day in which we reunite family--” she gives a look to where you are standing, you pull Alyssum a little closer, “--friends, and loved ones. Let all of Panem come together

“Not to battle for the amusement of the Capitol, but to join hands in this fight! Let today be the day we promise never to give up. Never to give in until we have made a new Panem. Where leaders are elected, not imposed among us, and where the districts are free to share the fruits of their labor and not fight one another for scraps!”

The cheering is loud enough to make Alyssum flinch and cover her ears. You rub her shoulders a little bit.

“I’m guessing that’s their motto, here?” Reed asks.

“We’re all equal.” you tell him, “Same amount of food, same clothes, same rooms. We all have a job down here, except for us I guess.”

He nods a little bit, thinking.

“This new Panem is on the horizon, but we must take it for ourselves. The road there leads through the sharp mountains and deep ravines of District Two. There, in the heart of Panem’s steepest mountain range lies the Capitol’s principle military facility. We can conquer the stronghold because we are one people, one army, one voice. Because today is our new beginning. Today, we have freed the victors. Tomorrow, Panem!”

The cheering gets significantly louder, and you can’t help but to make a face, tilting your head at the volume of it. Alyssum’s hands are still over her ears, and you look over to see Reed and Mox don’t look as thrilled as you thought they’d be over this declaration.

Eventually, the cheering fizzles into the chant of District Thirteen, as you stare right at Coin.

[ilguna]

Tacenda - Chapter Seven (f.o)

Summary: you’ll never truly be free from the Capitol.

Word Count; 4.9k

Warnings; swearing, DEATH MENTION

NOTES: i give reader a last name to fit the world.

–

You throw your arms around Finnick, “Hey, Finny.”

He doesn’t move, and you look over your shoulder to see the time again. It’s approaching nine-thirty. You’ve slept in pretty far, which is kinda usual for you. Considering that you wake up early during the games weeks. No matter how late you stay up, you’re normally awake bright and early at seven to get a jumpstart on things.

Very rarely does Finnick get up before you. On nightmare nights, mostly. After he wasn’t able to fall back asleep after one. He’s gotten really good at being quiet while he gets up and takes a shower. He’ll get all dressed and ready and then come back to bed to be there when you wake up.

You move some hair from Finnick’s face, tilting your head slightly. He does look carefree when he sleeps. Even as a teenager, he’s always lost age when he’s finally sleeping. It’s like all of his past experiences are suddenly gone and he’s the kind, guy he was back when you knew him before the games, in high school.

You wonder if he thinks the same thing when you’re sleeping, and he’s awake. If he’ll move the hair out of your face and just admire how you look. See the difference between being awake and being out cold. Awake, he might look cunning and fit the peacock nature, but asleep he’s a baby again. As for you, you might be all hardball when you’re awake, but sleeping a completely different person.

It’s funny how the games have changed you over the years. How you’ve grown bitter from the people around you, and what they’ve done to you. There’s no more innocence, it’s just anger and brutality. You don’t step lightly anymore, you make your mark because you never know when you’ll be able to return.

Of course, around certain people, like Finnick, your family, and Annie and all of them, you’re a new person too. Kind, soft, caring. You don’t yell at them, or treat them like ass like you’ve done to people here. It’s because they’re family, and they need to be treated with care no matter what. Because they’ve had your back since the very beginning, and you know that they’ll have it to the very end.

And then with people like Johanna–someone who you get along with really well because your personalities are super similar and don’t clash like some others–you’re a different person too. More teasing, you let your words fly a little looser, brutally honest because it’s what she needs to hear. Because she’s honest with you.

If you were being a complete jackass, more than usual and more than she can tolerate, you could count on her to call it out. She’s just afraid to do that kinda thing with you, and you’re not afraid to do it with her either.

Hell, you’d gotten along with Cashmere, Gloss, Enobaria and Brutus for a while because you all had something in common, and they could help you out with. All being victors of the games. All holding some sort of trauma that always puts you guys a little bit back because of it. But being around them, they overlooked that.

They might seem pretentious and bold and overly exotic, but it’s just who they are, and it was who you were for a little while too. It’s known that you develop your personality because of the people you’re around. So there’s a little bit of Johanna, Finnick, Cashmere, Gloss, Cecelia, Annie, Mags, etc in you because that’s who you’re around the most.

Anyway, you’ve gotten off topic.

“Finn,” you say, trying not to shake him or anything because you don’t want him to think it’s an emergency, you learned that the hard way, “It’s time to get up.”

Finnick doesn’t move again, and you move to press your hand against his chest, a little worried that he isn’t breathing. You feel his chest go up, and then down slowly. It rises again, and you then go back to trying to get him to wake up.

“Finnick,” you pat his chest, not wanting to be mean or anything.

You’re frowning at him because it’s unusually more difficult than normal. And then Finnick starts laughing.

“I’m awake.” he tells you, opening his eyes, “I just wanted to see how long you’d try for.”

You laugh, dipping your head for a moment, “Okay, just making sure you aren’t dead or whatever.”

You push yourself up into a sitting position, stretching. A yawn comes out of nowhere, and as soon as it’s gone, you’re getting on your feet.

“I wish they’d just give us a day to relax.” Finnick sighs.

“That was yesterday.” you say, “We practically just laid around all day.”

“I know.”

“We should eat and then shower.” you slip on your ring, and Finnick does the same.

When he stands, he groans, “When did I become so old?”

You laugh, and he looks at you, “Dude, I’m a whole year older than you.”

He laughs too, calling you old. The both of you go out to see that Elysia and Mags are at the table in their regular spots. You and Finnick assume yours, and go straight to eating. Taking in the couple of bowls, then the orange juice, water and coffee. After that, you and Finnick break apart to take your showers.

When you’re done, you slip on a comfy tank top and sweatpants. You know that you’ll be sitting around for a while. The prep team likes to take their time, which is why you end up showing up so early, to give them that breathing room.

Mags says that she’ll check on the both of you later, and Finnick follows you down to the room you’ll be getting ready in. Though, it’s empty.

“Looks like we showed up a little early.” Finnick laughs, taking a seat on the couch.

You sit in the chair that they’ll be moving around all day, “That’s a new one. We’re normally late to get the tributes to them.”

Finnick leans his head on his fist, looking over you, “Can’t wait time watch you transform.”

“I hope you mean that in a good way.”

“Of course I do.” Finnick smiles.

The prep team arrives shortly after, and they’re pleased to see you’re early for once. They spend their time doing their respected jobs. Leo does your makeup, Beth does your nails and Cleo does your hair.

Cleo blow dries first, since your hair is still relatively wet from the shower. She doesn’t seem bothered by this. In fact, she’s glad that she’ll be able to do this from scratch. After that, she straightens your hair and braids at your temples. She doesn’t do all of your hair though, only enough to make a crown.

Then she curls the hair that’s still hanging free on your back. Cleo pulls some hair out in front to make your face look better, and readjusts over and over until she’s sure that it’s perfect.

Leo decides on blue eyeshadow and a gold eyeliner. You haven’t seen the dress just yet, as you’ve said before. All you know is that it’s a nod at the first dress. Which is pretty amazing, considering that the eyeliner used for that one was white.

Beth gives you fake nails and tells you not to tell anyone that they’re fake. You’re not supposed to have anything that would give you an advantage inside of the arena. But despite this rule, she sharpens the fake nails into a slight point. After that, she paints them white with a little bit of glitter at the moon of your nail.

Finnick has to leave to go put on his own outfit. Before he goes, he gives you a sweet kiss and promises that he’ll be back as soon as he can. Laurel has entered the room in that moment and shot that idea down quicker than ever.

Laurel makes you wear dangling gold and diamond earrings that are supposed to resemble water droplets. Next is the star and moon choker, then the plain moon necklace below it. She has you pull on beige heels that aren’t a punishment, thankfully.

Next is the dress. It’s absolutely beautiful, and you can’t believe that Laurel went out of her way to make a dress like this.

The dress is entirely blue with shades that compliment each other. It’s a loose-fitting floor-length dress with a mesh train attached to the arms of the dress. The top of the dress is a deep v-neck and it goes down to the middle of the dress. Lining the edges is leather, that also goes across the chest.

The fabric from the plunge creates a sort of waterfall look at the front of the dress. There’s a new layer for each part of the leather belt, the first being taller than the next.

You can’t help but to look at the dress over and over. Since this one is a bit of a challenge, Laurel gives you permission to hold up the front of the dress to make sure that you don’t end up stepping in it.

She finishes it off with a couple of rings to add on to your wedding, as well as bracelets that are freshly polished and sparkle in the light. She makes you poss in different ways, and with the spare time, Elysia asks you a few questions.

You’re not going for a particular personality. All these guys know who you are already, so it won’t matter once you get on the stage. You guess that it could be for the crowd of Capitol people that will be watching you. But even then, you’re not really in a mood to show off.

They say that showing your true personality can pull more people in, than push them away. The people that like the spunk are going to stick a little harder, because you’re not pretending. You’re not acting all innocent, like a humble little damsel that needs someone to take care of her still.

You’re someone new. You can handle yourself. You could wipe out half the tributes by yourself that are going into that arena with you. You could absolutely snap at any given moment.

You’re not that little girl anymore. You grew up the second that you swung that sword at that girl from District Ten. Your time for dressing up in mommy’s dresses and crying in Reed’s arms when you got hurt was over. The first kill was the end of an era and the start of a new one.

It’s not a bad thing that you were forced to grow up. It’s the way that it was done. You were only fifteen then. You were still getting used to your body, trying to get out of that awkward gangly teenage phase. You wanted to be grown up but not in a way that would appeal to sixty year old men from the Capitol.

And it most certainly didn’t help that you and Finnick had a fling going on. That made it all the more awkward, even if it had gotten you comfortable. It might be sad to say, but you’re glad it was Finnick. If it were anyone else, you wouldn’t have made it, at all.

He’s the one that saved you from bleeding out in those bushes. He found you, he nursed you back to health. He did his damn best to keep you alive, even when it looked like you guys were only going backwards. Right when you had started to heal from the physical wounds, the sickness came out of nowhere and knocked the wind out of you.

When the time for your interview nears, they finally let you out of the room. In the hallway, you can hear the echo of Cashmere and Gloss talking on the tv screen down the hall. They’re on stage together, possibly because they’re siblings and people love to see them together.

“Holy shit.”

You turn to see Finnick standing there, not matching your outfit by any means. His is comfortable for sure, and even though this dress is a lot, you wouldn’t trade it for a damn thing. It’s pretty comfortable too, and you’re going to look amazing on stage.

Finnick has a white almost see-through too that is tucked into blue pants that end at the calf and flare out at the bottom. There’s a black belt and an ugly scarf-thing that hangs from the belt. On his feet is a pair of black boots.

“Well, don’t you look comfy.” You motion to his outfit.

“We should trade outfits.” Finnick grins, you can’t help but to laugh.

“Yeah, like you’d fit in this.”

“You know you’d love it.” He says, opening his arms for a hug, “Unless it’s forbidden.”

“It should be.” You tell him, pulling up the dress to make sure that you don’t end up accidentally stepping on it.

You wish you could place your head on his chest or shoulder, but you know that with your leg, you would end up smearing Leo’s fantastic job and you’d get in big trouble for it. So instead, you stand almost stiffly as him and you sway from side to side.

“The week has gone by fast.”

In the background you can hear Brutus getting called on stage. Two more people and then it’s your turn to get interviewed in front of the entire nation. The Capitol will get to say their goodbyes, as will you. Your family will get to see you on camera for the very last time in peace, rather than fighting.

“Oh my god,” you whisper.

“What?” Finnick asks, moving back to take a look at your face. You must be pale because worry washes over his face in one big wave, “What’s wrong?”

“This will be Alyssum’s first time watching me fight in the arena, Finnick,” you shake your head, “She was such a baby before, but now she’s not–Finnick she’s going to watch me kill people I–”

“Deep breaths.” Finnick tells you, “It’s okay, it’s not her first time watching the games.”

“It’s her first time watching us!” you pull away from him entirely, wanting to run your fingers through your hair but instead you play around with your fingers, “She’s going to watch us kill the people around us. Everyone on stage–”

“Reed and Mox are there for her,” Finnick says, “She’s going to be fine. They’re going to comfort her, and talk her through everything.”

You nod, knowing that he’s right. The buzzer goes off again, and you can hear Wiress going to get ready to go on stage. One more person and then it’s your time to get up there and show them what you have to offer.

“My makeup still looks fine?” you ask him, and he nods.

“Nothing is smeared, you’re perfect.”

You and Finnick watch as Wiress is interviewed after that. So far, all of the tributes have said something to at least get the crowd emotional or for them to second-guess their love for these games. They’re seeing all their favorites fight once again, but it’s putting all of you to waste.

They’ve crowned all twenty-four of you over a seventy-five year period. And now they’re going to take all of that away just for Snow to prove a point. That even when the games are over, they’re not really over. That there’s always a possibility of getting dragged right back into it.

If one victor is supposed to come out of this, then that means that there will be twenty-three families that lose their houses. They no longer live in luxury, they have to go back to the house that they came from. They lose almost all of their belongings that they had gotten from the Capitol. No more money, no more fresh food, or nice furniture.

If some of those families had sold their old houses, then they’re screwed because they have nothing to go back to. The Capitol takes away literally everything and leaves all of those families screwed over. Especially for someone like Cecelia, because she’s married and she has three kids. You’re taking away a parent, which is so vital in a kid’s life.

When Beetee finally goes up, he says something about being able to unwrite the written. If these games were written into law by these people, then that means they have the abilities to take it away. You guys don’t have to go inside of that arena if they don’t want you to. But at this point, changing their minds is a little too late.

Plus, not everyone will hold the same opinions. Sure, most of the Capitol people tend to think the same, but not everyone is like that, obviously. One person could absolutely love the shit out of Katniss and Peeta, while another could find it annoying. And they would wean to see Cashmere and Gloss or you and Finnick.

You kiss Finnick, before going and lining yourself up with the doors. You take in a deep breath, relaxing your shoulders and cracking your neck.

You’re not afraid of the crowd, you’re afraid of doing something wrong. It’s the crowd that will be deciding if you did something good tonight or not. And because of that, it’s utterly terrifying.

“And next is our favorite couple, Finnick and (Y/n) Odair!”

You raise your eyebrows, looking over to Finnick to see that he’s surprised too. He rushes over, laughing as he hooks his arm around yours.

“Guess Elysia surprised us,” you laugh, watching as the doors open.

“Maybe they forgot to tell us.” Finnick smiles, and the doors to the stage open up, allowing you guys to go up.

You try your best with holding up the front of the dress, but eventually you have to unhook your arm from Finnick’s. The cheering of the crowd is loud–like lose your hearing loud. There’s also a ton of people here, and some are even standing, clapping and cheering and whistling.

“Wow!” Caesar motions to your dress.

You and Finnick stop side by side. You spend some of the time waving at certain people, wondering if any of them have sponsored you before. Finnick does the same, smiling brightly and trying to make people feel as unique as you are.

“My stylist, Laurel, has really gone out of her way this time,” you tell Caesar, “It’s supposed to be a dress similar to the one I wore during my interviews.”

Caesar thinks for a moment, and then his face lights up, “Oh! The–off the shoulder–yeah! May I say that this one is much more fitting?”

He laughs, and a few more people cheer. Caesar then turns to Finnick and he seems puzzled, “And Finnick…”

“I’m comfortable, that’s all that matters.” Finnick laughs, his arm is tight around you.

You’re the one standing closest to the crowd, he’s the one that’s on the inside, closer to Caesar. He must be worried that someone will snag the dress and try to pull you down or something. There’s no way that’ll happen, the mesh will tear before you get close to anyone down there.

Caesar laughs, but eventually starts to get a little more serious. You’re a little annoyed that you have to stand on this stage for six minutes rather than three. The time doubles since there’s two of you, and it wouldn’t be fair to try and cram everything into three minutes.

“Now, the reaping,” he says, “everyone wants to know if it was planned.”

Finnick lets you take this one. He already knows the answer, but he can’t really speak for you, since you’re the one that had volunteered and all.

“To a certain extent, yes.” you smile a little bit, “Mags and I had made an agreement to volunteer over Annie if she were to get picked. However, I made a deal with myself, that if Finnick were to get picked, then I’d have to go in, no matter the circumstances, and the chance of me getting out of the games alive.”

The crowd seems to be moved a little bit, and Caesar plays along, looking at Finnick, “And how did you feel about this, Finnick?”

He laughs slightly, “Well, if you look back at the footage, you’ll see how relieved I was when she wasn’t the name that was pulled. I was taken by surprise, just as much as you all were.”

Some people cheer at this, agreeing with what he had to say.

“How did your family feel about this, (Y/n)? Were they angry?”

You laugh a little bit, because you’re still pissed off over the fact that you had never gotten to say goodbye to them. You don’t know their feelings about it, but you have a general idea about it.

“Unfortunately, there has been new rules installed in the districts–” you look out to the crowd, “Or as I’m assuming, since normally all the districts get the same treatment. The new rules had forbidden me from saying goodbye to my brothers and sister. I was required to go straight to the train without a word to them.”

You look back to Caesar, “However, I was able to see them at the train, but still wasn’t allowed to say anything to them.”

Finnick nods along to this, because he saw how you were when they were dragging you to the car. You didn’t want to move your feet, you wanted to be right where you had been. You stood nose to nose with a peacekeeper that was holding a baton and was threatening to hit you with it.

“Is there anything you’d like to say to them now?” Caesar asks, and then he motions to the camera behind him.

“I would love to.” And then you turn your body to face the camera, leaning into Finnick a little bit for support. He squeezes tightly, knowing that this is going to be hard for you especially, “Reed, Mox, and Alyssum. I don’t want you to worry about me, okay? I promise that I will do everything in my power to come back to District Four in one piece. And if it isn’t me that comes home, then it will be Finnick.

“I’m sorry that I hadn’t told you about my plans beforehand, but you need to know that I love you unconditionally, and I hope you feel the same about me. I know you might want to be angry now, but save that for when we come home. I’m sorry you’ll have to watch me go through all of this for a second time, you know I hadn’t wanted this.

“Reed, stay strong for Mox and Alyssum, even when the times get tough. Mox, don’t stop being yourself. Cry when you have to, and cheer even when you don’t feel like it. And my dear baby sister, I’m sorry you’re going to have to see this side of me. I would give anything for you to be three and too young to understand what’s going on, again.”

You can hear a few people in the crowd crying at your monologue. And Caesar turns the microphone to Finnick.

“Do you have anything to say?”

“Thank you for being the best surrogate family I could ask for.” Finnick says, “And for allowing me to marry your sister.”

You laugh slightly, shaking your head at Finnick, because of course he would say something like that.

Caesar looks at his watch, “Time’s almost up, but from my understanding, Finnick, you had a poem for (Y/n)?”

Your face drops slightly as you tilt your head at Finnick. He can’t help but laugh, shaking his head at the floor before looking back at you, “Don’t look at me like that. You had to know it was coming.”

“Apparently, I didn’t.” you look out to the crowd, “Can you believe him?”

The crowd cheers a little bit, excited for what Finnick will have to say to you.

“It would have been way less awkward if you had gone first,” Finnick mutters into the mic, but he goes serious too, “My love, you have my heart, for all eternity. And if I die in that arena, my last thought will be of your lips.”

Finnick kisses you after that, and the buzzer does go off, letting you know that you guys can go. You wave goodbye to the people that are watching, seeing a few people are still crying. Finnick helps you up the two staircases and over to where you need to stand. You two hold hands tightly, not wanting to let each other go.

From there, you guys watch the other tributes get interviewed. District Five, then six, and then finally seven. Johanna comes on stage, makes a scene, and then she’s escorted off the stage because of it. You’re nearly in stitches from how hard you’re laughing, trying not to actually cry.

Leave it to her to say the opinion that you all were thinking.

The next few districts are exceptionally boring, it’s just the same as the ones before them. Cecelia says goodbye to her kids for the final time, others try and get the crowd to change their mind about the games while they can. It’s the same thing, one after another.

Until it gets to Katniss, who comes out on stage with a white wedding dress. You can’t help but to laugh and shake your head, a little amazed by the audacity of it all, since her and Peeta aren’t nearly as in love as they pretend to be. But soon, she reveals that Snow had wanted her to show the crowd what it would have been like.

The interview goes on, and it eventually transitions into her spinning, like she did last year. The dress erupts into flames at the bottom, and as she spins, it completely transforms into something else. It isn’t until she’s done, when you guys get the full picture.

She spreads her arms out, and that’s when you’re able to see the wings. Finnick laughs, like he’s also finding this unbelievable.

“It’s a bird!” Caesar says, “it’s got feathers–it’s like uh–”

“Like a Mockingjay.” Katniss says for him.

“Her stylist is going to pay for that,” Beetee says, he’s standing to your right.

“Yeah, I can imagine she will.” you shift on your feet a little bit.

Katniss gets her interview wrapped up, she assumes her spot on the bottom row where everyone else is. Then, Peeta is introduced, and you’re just glad that you won’t have to stand here for much longer.

Caesar mentions something about the wedding, and Peeta reveals that Katniss and him had gotten married in private. It shocks Caesar a little bit, as well as the crowd.

“You know, Katniss and I have been luckier than most. And I wouldn’t have any regrets at all–” Peeta hesitates for a moment, “–if it weren’t–if….”

You tilt your head, curious to see what’s about to unravel.

“If it weren’t for what?” Caesar asks, and then echoes the last word a few times too.

“If it weren’t for the baby.” Peeta blurts.

Your mouth falls open as you laugh. The entire crowd is shocked, yelling about the baby.

“Alright, this is news–” Caesar tries.

“Holy fuck.” Finnick says, you look over to see that Johanna is shaking her head at this.

“Calm down, this is news to all of us!” Caesar says.

And just as Peeta was probably hoping, a few of the people in the crowd start yelling about stopping the games. This is when you nod, a little proud for what Peeta had done. Even if you don’t know him well, or had told him to do that. But he just showed you guys that he’s capable of thinking outside of the box.

Caesar then leans over and tells Peeta to go and stand with the rest of you without saying it into the mic. Peeta nods, and hurries up the stairs. When he gets to Katniss, they hug. However, you can clearly see that Katniss is either uncomfortable, or she just learned about this information herself. It’s a complete lie.

And it doesn’t even matter. It got the reaction that it was supposed to.

Caesar continues to try and calm down the crowd, but you’re all linking hands together. Holding on tight. You grab Beetee’s hand, and once the entire row is holding hands, you raise them up at the same time as the front row does.

Tomorrow, you might be at each other’s throats. And you might have to kill a few people that you’re on stage with. But tonight, you guys are one. Tonight, you all worked together to do your best to end this.

Tonight, you’re a team.

The crowd boos, and Caesar tries to get you guys to stop. But when it doesn’t work, a couple of the lights begin to go out.

They can try to silence you. However, you’re still holding hands when the lights go out completely. The darkness swallowing you.