#no bitch raised catholic turned out okay and he is a good example

[freakinnefor]

irish/american raised catholic calvin gabriel thank you for listening

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Mount Everest Ain't Got Shit On Us (Fezco x fem!reader, part 7.)

Description: You were always told that your life will be as you wish it to be if you’ll study enough. That it will pay off if you work hard. And some people were given you like the scary example of what will happen when you don’t obey. But sometimes it feels good to disobey.

 A/N: None really this time?

Warnings: Fezco being FLUFFY as fuck. Rue and Jules with yo sis Fran being fucking the best supporting bitches ever. No drugs or so mentioned, except weed, this part is overall pretty ok I think. 

Read the rest here, babe:  PART 1  PART 2  PART 3  PART 4  PART 5  PART 6

Masterlist and declaration: H E R E

When you have a meeting which is truly important for you, the time slows down around you. It could be a meeting with someone new, which usually tears you apart from the inside because of the curiousness of how it will be, to be with them.

You have those feelings when you have an appointment with your new work. Your nervous about the questions that they will ask you - you're nervous that you will not answer correctly. People can be very keen on the first impressions.

The same feeling appears in your chest when you have to go to meet someone for the last time in your life. A sudden feeling of loneliness stops the world turning around you. You feel the need to be sad, to be alone, you feel a lot of anxiety.

So when Fez didn't text you for the first week, you felt like you have fucked something like. When you told Fran, she just busted out of laughter, watching you with her eyes closed playfully. She giggled for the last time.

She always told you that she finds you astonishingly beautiful, especially in your tight dress showing your cleavage almost completely and some high heels on. When you were doing a little catwalk to Rue and Jules, Rue told you that you should not wear them when you'll go out with Fez, because it could give him a heart attack. So you decided that those were definitely the ones to wear when being with Fez on a date.

"Are you serious? You from all the people feel insecure? Shithead, you're hilarious sometimes, for god's fuckin' sake." - Fran swung her feet on the small table in front of the TV, taking a fistful of popcorn and shoving it up to her mouth. It was almost nine p.m., Cal was already sent to bed and you two watched some badly written and badly shotted horror movie. Your mom and your dad were on the way to your old hometown to visit granny and grandpa.

“What would I even do without your honesty?” - You snuggled to her side as you always did. From the time you were small, Fran was basically the boy-ish manly element in your everyday life. She was the big sister who was rude, loud, who was cursing like a sailor with the humor the darkest humorist on the planet. 

When you were little and you were afraid, she took you to her bed to snuggle you for the rest of the night. When you were feeling bad, she tried to make everything on the planet felt right for you. And when you watched some movies, you always cuddled and she braided your head or massaged your scalp, being the protective one. 

You, from all of your siblings, were the woman element, the princess which everyone felt the need to protect and to take care of. You knew that you are capable of the watch after your own fucking ass. It wasn't your choice that you looked like a gentle, small woman, the rose in beasts palace. 

Cal was obviously the dumbest and youngest, or that was what Fran was saying all the time. He was extremely likely to be persuaded with Fran's bullshit - and she was capable of thinking almost extremely crazy things. She made him go all nature-loving vegan boy for almost three years and one time, she told him that he should drive circle on every dog hell see to make him a dalmatian.

But that was what your family was like from the day you three were officially together. So it was completely normal for you to snuggle with Fran in the most sister-like way even possible. 

“What would ya do without me? Well, mostly, you wouldn't have anyone to be truthful with ya.” - Fran whispered, leaning her cheek to the top of your head. She had a huge smile on, again shoving a whole fist of popcorn up to her mouth. - “Second of all, ya life would be completely without a direction and without any sense of humor in ya boring day-to-day survivin'. Dear fuckin' lord baby Jesus.” - She yelled and laughed when a jumpscare took her by surprise. 

A vibration next to your upper thigh took you by surprise as you and Fran laughed it off. You shook it off as Rue's gibberish, but the phone continued on vibrating. Eventually, after a minute and three texts later, you finally looked at the screen. When you looked at the screen, you didn't even know who the hell it is. 

But then you focused on the grammar and the nickname, it all clicked into one place.

“What happened? Somebody took a picture of a yeti again?” - Fran joked around, but you looked like the Lord and Savior himself just put a halo on the top of your head. You watched the display with mouth opened, without having a single idea what to say to Fran. 

Unknown number: Heya newbie.

Unknown number: It Fez 'ere. Wanna know when ya have the time?

Unknown number: Wanna see ya. The sooner the betta. 

“A... A boy who I like just texted me if I want to go out? Jesus, Fran, do I want to go out?” - You shuttered and exhaled out loud, being all nervous and rosy all of a sudden. Fran was giggling at you with a raised eyebrow. 

“Is he the knight of the Catholic cavalry you were searching for?” - Fran closed her eyes a bit and then she started to giggle. - “You will never know, shithead. You better find out, hm? Go get 'em, tiger! You can go out with that boy tomorrow, I will look after shithead number two, just have a nice evening. Live a little while the two of them are gone.” 

So you texted him back, feeling all confident with your sister's support. Fran then stood up and stopped the movie, pointing with her thumb in the direction behind her back. - “Gonna have some fine time, just me and ma weed while ya will be all over dat boy, okay?”

Y/N: I have some time tomorrow. Wanna hang out?

You sat down, eating some popcorn and drinking the root beer Fran had bought for you two. You tried to keep your mind occupied while Fran was stoning on her balcony. 

Fez: Alrite. Wanna do somethin' special-special or just han' out? We can go to the cinema and shit. 

Y/N: Dinner, cinema, and shit? That's what u mean?

Fez: Yea, I mean dat type of shit. 

Y/N: Ok. See ya tomorrow at 5? 

Fez: Tomorrow in front of da expansive Italian bistro.

You almost screamed out loud with joy, your brain was all over the fucking place. Fezco wanted to go out with you. Holy fucking shit. Fezco. That fucking bearded stoner who you were all around. In an Italian bistro which everybody considered the best in the city. You two between all of the businessmen, rich people and there you would be, just the two weirdos. 

“So wazzup?” - Fran walked into the room completely tuned down by the weed. She was slow, all over the place; she usually acted like a fucking philosopher or a magician when she was stoned. - “Yo man, I am so fuckin' high.” - She sat down and laughed loudly. 

That meant only one thing - she already found one of the local dealers and she bought some good fucking shit, as she would most likely say, from him.

“You're asking about me and the boy, aren't you?” - You let her sat down next to you, again snuggling you. - “It is all going a-ok. I have a date yesterday.” - You said excitedly with a joy-filled voice. You looked and Fran. She was smiling happily and after a half an hour, she leaned down to kiss your forehead. 

But in her head, no time has passed between she was happy for you and after she leaned to kiss you. 

The other day, Cal left the house really early. He was going to skate with his band of friends, in which was Gia Bennett included as well. But your three fangirls decided to be with you all day, telling you some useful tips and tricks, doing your hair, doing her make-up. 

“If ya not gonna wear that, I mean THAT dress, I’m going to disown ya, girl.” - Rue stood up and took those tight black dress hugging your cleavage fuckingly tight. She and Fran had a joint together so they were on cloud nine. Fran said she was watching over Rue - that meant Rue hadn't got more than two shots. - “Oh yea boy! You need to fuckin' wear that, bitch!” - Fran exclaimed. 

“Those spaghetti straps plus ya boobs? I tell you that you're going to kill ma man with that kind of shit. And girl, I saw yo ass looking just yummy in dat skirt.”  - Rue gave you the dress with a slight smile. They've made your face prettier, your hair looked like the hair of a Hollywood star. 

“And may I recommend you those black high heels?” - Jules smiled. They had a plan - to make you look the most devilish way you ever possibly could. Rue knew what Fez is going to like, so she just continued with making a really good outfit. 

“That's it. We done 'here, ma ladies. Now ya have it in yo own hands. Good luck girl.” -  Rue kissed you on both of your cheeks an hour later. You were nervous that you will fuck something up. Fran voluntarily said she would take you to the Italian restaurant in her car. 

“Good luck with that man, babes.” - Jules hugged you, then giving you an encouraging smile to kick you in the ass. Jules and Rue were staying at your place to watch over Gia and Cal. Cal was on your team. The two of them fangirled all over you as well, but Rayman was way more interesting than your date was. 

“Hey ho, let's fuckin' go!” - Fran opened up the door for you, playing with the keys in her hand. The way in the car was a quiet one, only interrupted by the hip hop station. You were nervous and Fran was sobering up after the joint, tuned down a bit. But she looked you in the eyes when you were there. 

“Yo look absolutely stunnin', shithead, no matter what he's gonna say. Be confident, be cool and be you, ya comprehend?” - She took your palm to hers, playing with your fingers with a slight smile on her lips. You nodded and took a deep breath in before you basically jumped to circle your hands around her neck. 

“I love you, dingus.” - You whispered and Fran smoothed your back in a slow matter. - “I fuckin' love you too, shithead. Fuck off or I'll be fuckin' emotional.” - Then she waved at you when she was leaving, holding her thumbs up. 

You nervously trembled when you stood next to the entrance. You looked all over the place just to see him smoking behind a car. He looked nervous as hell, paler than before, with your eyes flatter than any time else. But he looked really cute. 

He hadn't got a tux, but he had a white shirt with a tie around it, tight black trousers. He overall looked cute than when you have seen him before. You tiptoed to be seen from behind the car and you waved at him. Fez gave you a nod and a knowing fast smile. Your eyes were scanning his way of walking and you almost fainted. Fezco looked sexy as hell.

But you had the feeling that that was the first and official last time that you saw Fezco in something like a suite. 

“Heya, newbie.” - Fezco smiled at you, offering you his elbow to hold onto. You took a hold of it almost instantly. - “Hi, Fez.” - A big, happy smile appeared on your face and you smoothed his upper arm with your fingertips. 

“How ya doin'? Ya lookin' all happy and shit.” - He opened you the door but made you go after him, holding them open for you.   

“Can't I look happy? I'm just excited about this evening.” - You said and you were completely honest with him. Fezco made you really surprised - he had a reservation of a really good table in the restaurant, he made you ordered the best food you wanted to taste in the restaurant and he truly paid for you in the end. It must've cost a fortune at least, but Fez looked like he's completely cool about that.  

You were sure about one thing - it didn't matter that Fez was not the smartest, the brightest, the strongest or the best boy in the hood, yet he was the perfect match for you. Fezco knew how to make you laugh and your smile made him smile as well. He loved your imperfections - that you were nervous about all of that, that you sometimes said something utterly stupid and the panic when you were sorry for that. 

At one point, your fingers brushed on the table and since then, your hands intertwined gently. He did some serious gentleman shit. He was really nice to you, seriously concerned about you and the things that you like even tho his brain looked like it's about to freeze. Yer he found you sweet, so he tried his best to be the brightest he could. That was some serious effort he put into that evening.

You took a quick picture od those hands on the table lightened up with all the chandeliers and candles in the Italian style. It looked seriously romantic. And Fez didn't even notice, because he was doing something with the menu. 

Then, even tho you looked like some big hugs, you two went to a cinema. You had the upper hand off choosing the movie. So you definitely went to watch some horror movies - it was seriously visible that you made that only move because you wanted to be closer to him.

That evening was the best one you have ever had. You were with a boy you were into, he was funny and charming and even hugged you and cuddled to his chest when you were freaking out. Your mind was on cloud fucking nine because of Fez.

When the ride home came, you were completely relaxed as hell. You completely opened up the car windows and you sang loudly, which made him giggle. It almost looked like he is about to kiss you when you stood in front of the house. But all of a sudden, you saw your mom in the window. So you giggled and took his hand into your palm, running off with him into the garden, pressing your body into his. 

“I didn't know that my parents will be home so soon. If they saw you here, they would have killed me.” - You whispered to him, leading him under your window. He just nodded when you stopped, smiling shyly and playing with his hand in yours. 

“So... Can I see you anytime soon?” - You put your palms on his chest, still looking into his eyes. You were still whispering - because you wanted to be longer with him and you seriously didn't want to get to trouble. 

“Yea. Would be cool.” - Fezco said immediately and you bit your bottom lip with excitement. You made the first move for the second time, leaning into a long kiss. You put your palms on his jaw, holding him a tight grip. The kiss was getting more passionate and more desperate as you moaned lightly. Dear Lord, you were so fucking impressed by his kissing techniques. They were even better than when you were drunk. When the kiss came to an end, you scanned his face with a happy, loving gaze. You liked that boy. You really did.

He stood there until you crawled back to your room through the window, kissing you one last time, this time starting the kiss and leading it.

"Ya wait for a sec like dat?" - He pointed at you suddenly. Your face frowned a bit, but you smiled with excited expression in your face. Fezco ran off as quietly as possible, before going back in the same manner. He was giving you something - upon a further inspection, it was a single rose only decorated by a red velvet string in a somehow strange yet beautiful manner. You smiled widely, your stare turning to his once again.

"Thank you so much, where the hell had you the time to get this?" - You leaned for another long kiss. Okay. So that was your thing. The couple who is basically obsessed with kissing each other. That one was a sure thing. But it was so exciting, he tasted so good and your head just made the reality blur around you every single time. Yeah. You could easily consideration yourself officially lost in the way Fez kissed.

"Bought it before but forgot it in da car. I was so nervous." - A wide smile broke out on his lips and you couldn't anything else but smile happily.

That was the moment when it all has started. This was one of the top moments in your whole life at that point. There was a lot that was ahead of you, but you didn't want to see it. So many fucked up bullshit was just beginning to rise in your future without you even noticing. At that moment, you had everything.

It was just Fezco and you.

And it was perfect.

[truethingsiwishicouldsay]

How to be a shitty progressive

Several examples of problematic shit from subpar examples of progressives. Organized by category.

Male feminists: “I’m totally for women’s rights, as long as they don’t point out how porn harms women, how feminism focuses on women’s liberation, or how I need to stop telling women they’re not a real feminist unless they fuck me.”

Transactivists: “Down with cis. Murder anyone who expresses any reservations about my gender identity. Cis people’s bodies are disgusting. I’m more woman than you will ever be because I work harder to cater to the male gaze. Women aren’t allowed to talk about their bodies because it triggers me, and I want everyone to walk on eggshells around me because I like controlling people with my emotional fragility. Either help me pressure people who aren’t attracted to my body type into fucking me or I’ll ruin your reputation in the community like I plan to ruin theirs.”

Gays: “Women’s bodies are disgusting. I can engage in all sorts of casual sexism because I was raised with it, and don’t see a problem with it because I don’t need women to get my dick in. I grope gay boys at Pride and scare them back into the closet because that’s what being out and proud is about! Also I think I have a free pass to grab your tits and will whine that you’re a homophobe if you’re not okay with it.”

Lesbians: “One hundred percent of men are garbage. Anyone who sleeps with a man is a dick worshipper and is sleeping with the enemy. Bi and het women are garbage too. In fact everyone is garbage but lesbians.”

Libfems: “I’m going to help my trans friends sexually pressure, gang up on and ostracize people who aren’t attracted to them. That’s totally progressive guys! Also I’m going to turn a blind eye to the crimes of the porn industry because my totally woke boyfriend will get mad if he can’t jack off to women being pissed on. I can’t point out the endemic sexism in many nonwhite societies because that would be racist! Being trafficked for sex is an empowering personal choice! I’m the BEST feminist! :D uwu :D”

Radfems: “You’re invalid. And you’re invalid. And YOU’RE invalid! I’m the fucking Oprah of invalidating identity and sexuality, and I’ll come right onto your blog to make you feel like shit because THAT’S MY POLITICS. I don’t feel complete as an activist unless I’m attacking someone or bitching about someone where they can hear. And by the way, I’m the one who decides who is valid or not, and I’m justified in antagonizing total strangers because I think their very existence is a threat to women. I’m the best feminist. Fuck y’all.”

Disabled people: “I will now use my mental illness or personality disorder as an excuse to be a raging cock to everyone around me. If you protest, you’re ableist. I don’t believe in actually doing anything to manage my problems, by the way. So much easier to take them out on others.”

Pagans: “There is absolutely no sexism in Paganism. Let’s ignore that a lot of us define women by their fertility cycle. Let’s ignore that many of our founders were ragingly sexist males like Gardner who wanted to watch naked women whip each other. Let’s bully random Christians who haven’t done shit to us! Oh, and we love to invalidate each other and infight. Did I mention that we let an awful lot of our “elders” sexually exploit vulnerable people and then sweep it under the rug? Nah, that’s just a Catholic thing. Oh, it happened to you? You’re lying.” 

Blacktivists: “Hi white demon, here’s exactly how you should act if you don’t want to be a demon. Except I’m gonna call you a demon anyway, because you’re all demons and you deserve all the hate we throw at you no matter how good or bad you actually are. You will never be good enough no matter what you do. What’s that--you’re not racist and have never done a thing to me? Doesn’t matter, you’re still a racist demon. Kill whitey. Kill Jews--oh wait, I meant destroy the Zionist conspiracy against the black nation. What do you mean there’s no evidence that that’s a thing? Racist. Oh, and by the way I’m bigoted as hell against members of other races too, but I get a pass because I’m oppressed.”

White liberals: “I’m so lost at this point that I’ll agree with any progressive I’m talking to even if they’re attacking a totally undeserving group. I’m either so full of white guilt and self-loathing that I hate my own race, or I’m still stealth-carrying a knapsack full of bigotry and barely pretend to tolerate people who aren’t like me. I might be legit frustrated that I’m singled out for vilification because of my race, but I have no idea how to handle it maturely. I will either “other” most members of my race and wish I wasn’t white, ignoring the need for a cultural housecleaning by distancing myself--or I will throw fits and threaten to join the MAGA crowd.” 

Queer kids: “HOW DARE YOU NOT PSYCHICALLY DIVINE MY INCREDIBLY OBSCURE GENDER AND SEXUAL IDENTITY THAT NOBODY HAS EVER FUCKING HEARD OF!!!!!!!! YOU HAVE VIOLATED MY PRONOUNS YOU ARE A BIGOT I’M SICCING ALL MY FRIENDS ON YOU!!!!” 

Democrats: “We’re so fucking corrupt that we undermined our most promising candidate in decades for someone more controllable, who then failed because almost nobody wanted her by comparison. We are like the mediocre boyfriend who will never get a job, give you an orgasm or do the dishes, and only has a chance with you because the other guy keeps trying to kill you. We are almost indistinguishable from pre-1980s Republicans except on a few issues, and like the vast majority of progressive people, we are too fucking busy infighting to actually get much done at all.”

EVERYBODY: “Everyone in my ingroup is uwu perfect and has never ever done or said anything problematic at all. I will turn a blind eye to any internal problems, denying them and attacking anyone who points them out instead of acknowledging and working on fixing them. Meanwhile everyone outside my group is garbage, a threat or irrelevant. Squabbling with one another is much, much more important than uniting against the people trying to kill us.”