#no beta we die like Weller

[thesouppond]

Painting Purple A shogun sniper angst ficlet

Valentina was loud. Not in the same way that Cammie was, always bouncing off the walls with too much energy, but in how she carried herself. If he was honest with himself, it annoyed Kazu. Even just standing in a room with her you could feel her aura. She had no problem showing them up in simulations, sniping down imaginary threats while commenting on their slip ups from whatever perch she had found herself on that day. Even in hand to hand combat she’d dance around, hardly making full body contact while kicking your ass, then having the gall to correct your stance. From the moment they put on their suits for the first time, she’d been vividly purple; extravagant, proud, powerful. Valentina was loud, always too full of herself, Kazu thought. 

It was worse in the Ether, making smart-ass comments in every game they played together. Val was always cracking sultry jokes and taking every moment possible to distract them from quests. ‘Designed for attention’ was probably the best way to describe him, the garish galaxy print suit, the lack of an undershirt, the blinding violet in his makeup, the presenting male. Kazu didn’t get why they needed to do all that. He might as well have had a bright neon sign flashing ‘Look at me!’ stuck above his head. It was sickening, how much of Val crept into all their virtual outings. 

She was loud. Too loud. She had been climbing into Cammie’s bunk in the mornings to help the Scot get up. She’d been running paperwork with Yaz and Chase, though they had it all handled. Hell, she’d been silently bustling around the kitchen while Kazu was there preparing meals for the team too, distracting him with the movement, the purple in her hair flicking in and out of his vision constantly. She wasn’t cooking, so why on earth she couldn’t just wait in the dining hall with everyone else escaped him. She never spoke or moved with volume, but her mere presence was so overwhelming he almost wanted to scream. She always had to be involved in whatever was happening. She couldn’t just kick back and observe, until battles of course.

The moment they uploaded into a real battle field, Val always fled to some ledge to pick off units from far away. Kazu was a warrior, and he fucking knew it. He’d charge into spider tanks head on, slash away at their machinery with visceral force, making sure they shattered with each impact from his holon. The red suited him; the strength of action, the intensity of battle. He could hear Val calling sightings through the comms, letting them know where they missed the stray tank, and he rolled his eyes. 

It wasn’t for lack of skill that he wasn’t down here, in the middle of the action with the rest of them. Val had mindshared the most out of all of them, and each time that connection clicked, their experience, his skill had always proved more than enough to fight in close quarters. It made Kazu more frustrated than anything, that Val spent every fight tucked away somewhere instead of fighting next to them. He was a coward.

It wasn’t until they had to run a mission without Shogun and Wraith, owing to critical repairs that hadn’t been completed in time, where it all started to fray. Kazu watched, from the vanguard squad he had been shoved into, as Huma, Chaser and Trixx weaved their way through platoons of spider tanks and drones, the striders and fighter jets following hot on their heels. He’d much rather be with them, ploughing through the enemy lines, rather than down here on foot picking off the foot soldiers as they threatened to sneak past the heavy machinery, but a fight was a fight, and he supposed it beat hiding away, like someone. He knew Valentina was somewhere in the rocky terrain surrounding them, but as usual, even without the camouflaging panels of her holon, she’d managed to tuck herself away out of sight. 

He fell in step with the cadets as they’d crawled their way through the field, years of training in Japan taking over. Despite what his record might say, he did know how to cooperate in a squad, he just preferred to be calling the shots on his own. It bored him, the monotonous drone of one foot in front of the other, the tight methodical formations designed to keep them in line with one another, having to blend into the moving mass. He was thankful at least they let him keep his suit on. If he got the chance to punch the daylights out of someone, he could do so knowing any retaliation would do nothing to him anyway.

Bullets flew from his left, as a squad of union soldiers charged over the nearest ridge. He swore as he watched a shot catch the shoulder of the cadet next to him before returning fire. The recoil of his rifle caught him somewhat off guard. He wished he’d been using Shogun’s blades, or, at a stretch, the turrets on a strider or vehicle would suffice, given his background in tanks. He took aim at the dwindling number of union soldiers still advancing towards them, lining his sights over the helmet of the closest soldier…and watched them fall as a shot pierced through their visor with deadly accuracy before he could even pull the trigger.

“Kazu, radnój, you’ve got to be quicker with that.” He felt the heat rise in his body as Valentina’s voice crackled through his earpiece.

“Don’t call me that! And don’t tell me what to do!” He called back, whipping his head wildly about, trying to locate where the coward had crawled to this time. “At least I’m actually down here fighting like a man!”

“Whatever you say zólotse” Kazu almost growled an insult in response but was cut off by Cammie screeching through the comm lines

“DRONES INCOMING! THEY GOT THROUGH! TAKE COVER!”

He could see Huma gaining on a pack of union drones rapidly encroaching on their area of the field and scrambled to duck behind part of a boulder, glad for the difficult terrain. Covering his ears, he watched as they flew over him, gunfire exploding from their turrets, a couple exploding into debris as Yaz landed her heat vision. 

“Valentina I see you! You need to move!” Kazu heard Yaz’s call and followed her line of vision. He could just about make out a dark figure, her purple cloak tucked around her, on the nearest ledge, right in the line of fire for the remaining drones. Time seemed to slow as Yaz took aim and fired, clipping one through its side and sending it careening towards the ledge, towards Valentina. It slammed into the ground close, too close, to her figure and Kazu heard her strangled cry as she threw herself away. They weren’t in Gen:Lock, but he swore he could feel the debris tear through his body as he watched Valentina leap off the ledge, a fraction of a second too late, to avoid the twisted metal. 

Fuck staying in formation

He ran, sprinting through the bodies, the groaning metal of fallen drones and tanks towards where he’d seen her plummet like a stone to the ground. His suit lit up with red as it pushed him forward. His mind was quiet, too quiet. He couldn’t hear their voice chastising him over the comms, he couldn’t sense their presence watching their backs in the field. He couldn’t feel them. He knew he wasn’t in his holon but instinctively he tried to reach out mentally, hoping beyond reality that he’d somehow find them safe, he’d find them right there, ready to make a sultry comment about him, to correct his form, to scream, cry, punch him for being an asshole, anything. But then he saw her crumpled form, the purple of her suit barely visible in the growing pool of red. The flowing cloak that trailed behind her shredded, hardly recognizable. Even the violet streaks through her ponytail had been soaked with dark crimson. He went to grab her, to shake her awake and scream, but instead he tasted bile as the warm red seeped onto his suit. She was always there, overwhelmingly there, but now she was covered in red, and oh god he wished he could paint her purple again. 

[whatshouldjustbeours]

When you are gone, all it does is rain (Jane/Kurt)

A/N: HAPPY NEW YEAR, YOU GUYS! I hope your 2018 is filled with love and happiness and a lot of Jeller moments, that is, if we ever survive Jan 12. The pain that is coming... This is based on speculations for next episode (and an interview with Sully and Jaimie where they talk about him jumping out of a plane). I'm sure it won't play like this but that's why fanfics exist, right? 

Thank you all for 2017 and this amazing fandom I’m so happy to be a part of.

A big thank you to @206bonesaddicted​​ and @tigers-echo-wild for beta reading this and giving me your opinions! You girls are amazing!

FF.net link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12783064/1/When-you-are-gone-all-it-does-is-rain

When you are gone, all it does is rain

Kurt was pretty sure he would regret all this drinking tomorrow morning, but couldn’t make himself care. His day had been horrible. His life was horrible.

His wife had left him. The guilt for what went down in Berlin was weighing even more heavily on his shoulders after their talk and the devastation he witnessed in her eyes. There were moments he felt as if he couldn’t breathe.

Had he lost her forever?

As Jane avoided him throughout the day – she had even asked Reade to stay at the NYO today, not participating in the mission with them - things only got worse. The icing in the cake was when he ended up jumping out of a freaking plane to save the day and almost losing his life in the process.

It had been a close call. A very close call.

He was about to pour himself another dose of bourbon when the front door opened abruptly, bouncing off the wall and closing loudly behind her.

Jane.

To say she was mad was an understatement. Kurt braced himself for another fight, ready to take the blame he knew belonged to him alone.

She took five long, angry strides and stopped near him, way closer than he thought she’d ever come again.

“Are you out of your damn mind?!” – She yelled. He could see her hands into tight, white fists, could see her body trembling with her barely controlled anger.

“Jane,” – His intuition told him this was not about Avery at all.

“How could you jump out of that plane without caring about your own life?” – She lifted an accusing, shaking finger. – “One second, Kurt, one damn second and everything could have gone wrong. One second and I,” – Her voice broke and he watched helpless as her eyes filled with tears. – “One second and you’d be gone forever.”

His face softened and he could feel his heart bursting with relief. So she had heard about what had happened on the mission and even after everything he did to her and her daughter, there she was, her eyes – and her words - showing him how much she still loved him.

“Jane,” – He tried again, taking a step forward to touch her. She took one back, lifting her hand to stop him. She blinked and a few tears fell.

“No! I don’t want to hear your perfectly reasonable arguments for doing what you did.” – She took a deep breath, trying her best not to break. As if his last night’s revelation wasn’t enough, she had almost lost her husband in the very next day.

She was at Patterson’s lab when it all happened. She wasn’t even paying attention to what was going on around her, her mind so very far away from there, but Patterson’s urgent tone pulled her out of her thoughts. She caught the last words that her friend spoke to their team. “Weller, if you do this, you’ll die.”

Jane had scrambled from her place, grabbing the nearest comm but before she could put it on, Patterson was repeating only one word again and again. “No. No. No. No.”

The lab went dead silent for minutes that Jane was certain lasted a lifetime. With wide eyes, she finally put the comm on, listening silently as Reade and Zapata demanded that Weller answered them. He only did reply when they were all without any hope left. Patterson was even already with her hand on Jane’s arm, a mournful look in her eyes and comforting words coming out of her mouth. She would never forget the absolute relief that swept over her entire body at the sound of his deep voice.

“I’m okay, guys.”

Looking at him now, breathing and alive and with those blue eyes radiating all the love he felt for her, Jane knew she was a complete fool to believe she could live without him.

“Don’t you ever, ever pull something like that again. Do you hear me?” – She grabbed a fistful of his shirt, pulling him to her. His surprised look at her touch should make her feel sad for what it said about the state of their relationship, but the only things her mind could register were his smell and the warmth emanating from him.

He placed his hands on her waist and she let out a breath she was sure she was holding since the beginning of this nightmare.

“I’m sorry I scared you.” – He said softly, staring into her eyes. – “I promise you I wasn’t trying to play the hero or to die.” – There was a tiny smile on his lips that died when she remained serious.

“You better! Because,” – She sighed, her hands tightening on him. They were far from okay and they had a lot to figure out, but she knew her next words were one of the truest things she’d ever say to him. – “I can’t do this without you, Kurt.”

“Good.” – He hugged her, desperately needing to feel all of her against him. Her words sounded almost as forgiveness and he felt his eyes welling up with tears. He hadn’t lost her forever. – “Because I have no idea how to do this without you too, Jane.”

She nodded against his head. She knew how much he meant that; after all, he had spent eighteen months searching her nonstop.

“I have no idea how we go forward from here,” – She said after a few seconds, leaning away so she could look at him. – “But I do want to figure it out.” – He smiled, his tears streaming down his cheeks as she echoed his words back at him. This time, she had a small smile on her lips, too. – “Together.”

“Together.”

[whatshouldjustbeours]

Take Me Home

A/N: Hi! This is not a mirage! This is my second fic on a very short time. I guess all the promos and spoilers inspired me. Also... ONLY NINE DAYS UNTIL OUR SHOW IS BACK! FINALLY! I hope you guys like this one! A special thanks to my beta reader and Blindspot partner Thaís. I love you!

This is also on ff.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12693509/1/

Title from Jess Glynne's song Take Me Home.

Summary: Jane and Kurt first day back to work after getting together. Patterson has an open and honesty conversation with Weller about Jane's heart and Kurt makes a proposition to Jane that will change their lives. Jeller all the way.

Set some days after season 2 finale.

Every minute gets easier The more you talk to me You rationalize my darkest thoughts Yeah you, set them free

Came to you with a broken faith Gave me more than a hand to hold Caught before I hit the ground Tell me I'm safe, you've got me now

Would you take the wheel If I lose control? If I'm lying here Will you take me home?

Take Me Home

Jane felt equally nervous and excited as she rode the FBI elevator for the first time since telling Kurt where she wanted to be and that she loved him. In fact, after her confession in his hallway, they hadn’t spent one second apart.

They just had four much earned days off. Four heavenly days when their phones didn’t ring, nor the world was on the verge of ending. Four days to themselves, and their love, and their lovemaking. She sighed as remembered all those moments and how she wished they hadn’t ended so quickly.

Now they were back and she had no idea how their work dynamic would change now that they were together, or where she was supposed to go after work today – her safe house or back to his apartment? - or how she was supposed to spend eight hours restraining herself from touching him when that’s all she’d done the last few days.

“Jane? Are you okay?”

It was his voice that brought her back, his hand quickly grabbing hers, squeezing it and letting it go.

She looked up at him, instantly feeling better, her lips curving up into a small smile.

“I’m fine. I just…” – Wished we had more time that was just us.

“I know.”

He smiled at her, wanting nothing more than to press the button that would take them back to the parking lot so they could get out of there and go back to being just them.

“We’ll have more time later, I promise.” – He winked as she blushed.

“I’ll hold you to that.” – Jane said quietly as the doors opened and they stepped out of the elevator.

Even if everybody tried to be discreet, the pair felt all eyes on them. Jane was pretty sure her face was all red and with a quick sideways glance at Weller, their eyes locked for a second and she almost laughed when she saw him shaking his head. He knew it was his fault. It was him who declared himself to her with the comms still open.

She stopped at her desk and watched as he went on to his office. On his way there, he looked over his shoulder once at her, his eyes full of promises and they had a whole silent conversation. Then he turned back and reached his door.

She was almost sitting on her chair when Patterson’s voice reached her.

“Jane!” – The blonde analyst was suddenly in front of her, pulling her into a hug.

“Hi, Patterson.” – Jane hugged her back tight. She would always appreciate everything the other woman had done for her.

“I’m really glad we are all back.” – Patterson stepped back and sat on the edge of Jane’s desk. She looked over at Weller’s office, seeing him already behind his desk, some papers in front of him and then back at Jane. – “So… how were your days off?”

Jane followed Patterson’s previous line of sight and couldn’t contain the smile from appearing on her face. Kurt was already concentrating hard on some document, the whole world ceasing to exist as he focused on his job. She was lost in him until her friend cleared her throat.

“That good, huh?”

“Yeah. It was really good.”

Assuming a more serious expression, Patterson hopped off Jane’s desk and before departing, she put a hand on the other woman’s arm.

“You two deserve all the happiness you can find and I’m really, really glad you found it together.”

Jane’s eyes filled with tears and she nodded, not trusting her voice.

“I’ll see you later, Jane.”

The blonde had barely taken three steps away towards her lab when Jane’s voice stopped her.

“Hey, Patterson!” – Their eyes met and held. – “Thank you for…” – Jane shrugged, not really finding the exact words to convey what the other’s actions meant to her. – “For everything.”

“That’s what friends are for, Jane.”

Jane nodded, feeling once again blessed for finding these people and calling them not only friends, but family.

It’s been two hours since they’d gotten there and his neck was already killing him. It was so much reports to read and to write it was times like these he remembered why he never wanted a desk job in the first place.

Lifting his head and massaging his nape, his eyes were inevitable drawn to her. She was in her chair and Zapata was beside her, both of them looking at something in Jane’s computer screen. One second later, they were bursting into laughter and he couldn’t help but smile at the sight of Jane so happy.

There was no one who deserved to laugh more than she did.

He was so distracted he didn’t notice Patterson entering his office and stopping in front of his desk.

“I was almost afraid you wouldn’t listen to me.”

His eyes snapped to her, not expecting anyone to catch him drooling over Jane.

“What?”

“I told you that if you had something to say to her, you should say it. Part of me was terrified you’d let her go without her knowing how you felt.”

“I almost did.”

“You are an idiot, Weller.” – Patterson sighed and dropped on one of the chairs.

“I can still fire you, you know?” – Kurt grumbled but there was no heat in his voice. They both knew he would never do it.

“Jane is the best thing that ever happened to you.” – He was struck speechless by her honesty. – “And I can’t believe you almost let her go because you are too stubborn to say anything.”

“I was afraid she didn’t feel the same way.”

“Bullshit, Weller.” – His eyes widened and his mouth opened at her choice of words. – “Jane wears her heart on her eyes. She always has. You knew exactly how she felt. You just weren’t sure she’d choose to stay here despite of it.”

She didn’t need to list every reason Jane had to leave, including the ones he was responsible for.

His face fell as the things he did to Jane passed through his mind. He’d treated her horribly and he doubted he would ever forgive himself.

“I’m sorry.” – Patterson’s voice snapped him out of his dark thoughts. – “I didn’t mean to,”

“It’s fine. And you are right.” – He admitted, his eyes drifting to Jane and back to his friend. – “I was terrified she would pack her things and leave. I had absolutely no idea if anything I said would make a difference.”

“But it did.” – Patterson smiled, scooting her chair closer to his desk. – “She doesn’t hold anything over you. You know that, don’t you?”

“Yeah.” – He opened a little smile, eyes focusing once again on Jane. This time, as she pretended to watch Zapata return to her workstation, she stole a glance at his office. Their eyes connected for a brief second, a tiny smile flickering on her face.  – “She is just…” – He trailed off, not sure how to describe the woman who was everything to him without sounding too sappy.

As Patterson watched him watching Jane, she couldn’t be happier for him. They’d known each other for many years now and she had never seen him look at another woman – or any other person, for that matter - the way he looked at Jane. Nor she’d ever seen him look so happy. There was also a light in his eyes that’s never been there before.

“Jane is the strongest person I know but,” – She stopped, waiting for Weller to concentrate on her. Her pause had him raising his eyebrow and looking at her. – “She also has the softest of hearts. Don’t you dare breaking it, Weller because if you do, I swear to God I’m going to make your life a living Hell.”

He tried hard to look stern after her threat but he was pretty sure his face was showing his gratitude for the way she was looking out for Jane. God knew Patterson had been the only one in her corner when she returned to the FBI and he was glad she was there again now.

“I won’t.” – He’d die before he intentionally broke her heart again.

Of course there would be bumps along the way but they’d navigate it together.

They stared at each other in silence for a few seconds. When Patterson was satisfied her warning had been received, she got up, ready to go back to her lab.

“You only came here to threaten me?” – He joked, also getting up. It was almost lunch time and he couldn’t wait to have a moment alone with Jane.

Patterson stopped mid way to the door and she took some steps back in his direction.

“Yes. Jane’s been through hell in the short time I know her. And I can only imagine what she’d been through before, in her other life. The list of heartbreaking things she carries with her is horribly long and I really don’t want you to be another bullet point there. Make this right, Weller.” – One of her hands reached out and touched his arm, lightly squeezing it. – “I know you aren’t too good at communicating but you have this amazing woman that for some reason is crazy about you. She loves you and the only reason she decided to stay is because of you. So please, please, don’t hold back and just talk to her, say things to her. Speak from your heart. God knows I regret all the things I never said because I thought I had time.”

She didn’t need to tell him who she was talking about. He knew. And not telling David she loved him and that she wanted to spend their lives together would always be her biggest regret.

Having said everything she wanted, Patterson patted his arm and got out of his office, leaving a speechless Kurt Weller behind. Message delivered, she guessed.

Kurt ended up intercepted on his way to Jane’s desk. Hirst arrived just as he was going to ask Jane to have lunch with him and the Director requested a meeting in his office. It lasted four hours, going well into the afternoon and the whole time Patterson’s words were on his mind.

He was bad at communicating. One year with him and Allie got tired of his closed off attitude. He didn’t think he ever told her he loved her. But with Jane… everything was different since the beginning. She had found a way to tear down his walls from day one. And he would never forget the way he first told her he loved her, for literally everyone to hear.

All of this only told him it would be different this time. It had to be because losing Jane was not an option. Never would be.

He’d make sure of that.

Jane looked at the clock for the thousandth time. It was almost 7 p.m. and Kurt was still inside his office. They barely talked during the day since he was with Hirst and some other important people from the Bureau most of the time.

She was wondering if she should go talk to him and ask when he intended to leave or if she should leave alone and go straight to her safe house. Would he assume that if she waited for him it meant she wanted to go back to his apartment? Because even if she did, she definitely didn’t want to pressure him or make him do anything he wasn’t comfortable with.

She was still debating this inside her head when she caught a movement from the corner of her eye. Kurt was standing up and gathering his things. Was he leaving? Would he offer her a ride? Would they have dinner together? She really hoped so.

She remained on her chair, pretending to read something on her computer. “Hey.” – He stopped by her side and she lifted her head, a smile welcoming him. – “Are you ready to leave?”

“Yeah.” She shut off her computer and took her phone, ready to leave this place for the day and hopefully enjoy the rest of the night by his side.

She led the way to the elevator and they silently waited for it to arrive. Glancing quickly at him, she noticed he seemed nervous. Was he asking himself the same things she was? Did Hirst say something that was making him change his mind about them? She didn’t exactly help his career with her past as Remi.

“Jane?” She was so lost in her own mind she didn’t see that the elevator was on their floor. They both stepped inside and Kurt pressed the button to the parking lot.

“Are you hungry?” – He asked quietly, noticing her mood had shifted while they were waiting for the elevator. Had he already screwed this up?

“Yes.” – She was starving while she was waiting for him but now, she wasn’t as much.

Her answer didn’t sound so convincing to him but he didn’t care. Her days of skipping meals and not taking care of herself were done.

“What do you say we order some take out on the way to my apartment?”

She looked at him, brightening up at the prospect of actually spending the night with him. Maybe he was not regretting all of this after all. She smiled and nodded, giving him her answer.

They walked to the car side by side, his hand itching to take hers and lace their fingers together. Their eyes met and she threw him a lopsided shy smile, telling him she was thinking of the same thing.

She was making her way around the SUV to the passenger side when she felt his hand on her arm, turning her around and pushing her against the car. His hands were on her hair and his mouth was on hers before she could even fully process that Kurt I Don’t Show My Emotions Weller was kissing her senseless in the parking lot of the FBI.

She returned his kiss, her tongue invading his mouth to find and battle his. He took another step forward, his whole body pressing against hers and making her moan. It was the sound that made him stop and he took a hasty step back, letting go of her as fast as he had grabbed her.

She laughed, loving how the always composed Weller looked so disoriented.

“Are you okay?” – She asked, not moving, afraid her legs would give out after the way he had kissed her.

“God, Jane.” – He looked around, making sure no one had caught them. – “You drive me crazy.”

She only laughed harder.

“So this is my fault now?” – She asked in a teasing voice.

“Absolutely.” – He growled and started to go back to his side of the car. – “Get in before I do something like that again and someone sees us.”

She did, not wanting to waste any more time on that building. She wanted more of his kisses, more of his touch and couldn’t wait to get to his apartment. 

The feeling of arriving at Kurt’s apartment after a long day of work instead of her empty safe house was incredible. It hit her in that moment how her life would be different from now on.

She didn’t have to worry about Sandstorm lurking in the shadows, ready to attack and kill her. She didn’t have to leave work and go home alone anymore. She didn’t have to find an excuse to spend time with Kurt after work during the week. And on the weekends, she’d have him all to herself and they could do amazing things together, like maybe visit places she always wanted to go but didn’t have the time or the desire to do it alone.

She didn’t know if she deserved this life she was getting but she vowed to herself to make the most of it.

“Why are you smiling?” – He was in front of her in the middle of the living room where she had stopped without even noticing.

She took the step needed to be right into his personal space, her arms going around his neck. His hands automatically drifted to her hips, holding her close.

“Because I’m happy.” – She said simply, letting her eyes show him the truth of her words.

Kurt felt his heart bursting with joy. Her smile had always been a rare thing to see but since they’ve stopped Sandstorm and spent all of their time together days ago, he’d seen more and more of it.

“You deserve all the happiness in the world, Jane.” – He whispered to her, Patterson’s words immediately coming to mind.

Jane’s been through hell in the short time I know her. And I can only imagine what she’d been through before, in her other life. The list of heartbreaking things she carries with her is horribly long.

“We both do.” – She echoed his words from the plane back to him.

“I’m happy too, you know?” – She titled her head to the side, sensing he was going to say more. One of his hands came up and caressed her on the cheek. Speak from your heart. – “And that’s all because of you.”

“Yeah?” – She was looking at him with so much happiness in her eyes that he felt like his heart was going to explode.

Say things to her.

“I love you so much, Jane.” – The words came effortlessly as if his heart had been waiting his whole life for her and now it could finally speak freely.

“I love you too, Kurt. Very, very much.”

They leaned forward at the same time, meeting haflway in a tender and sweet kiss. Time slowed down as the two of them enjoyed the moment together without fear of getting caught or interrupted.

“I thought you were hungry.” – Kurt muttered against her mouth, feeling her hands unbuttoning his shirt.

“I am.” – She said suggestively, quickly working on his buttons.

In a sudden move, he took her in his arms, one arm behind her knees, another behind her back and carried her to his bedroom.

They had dinner only after a long time.

After brushing his teeth, he thought he was going to find her curled up in her side of the bed but as he came out of the bathroom, she was nowhere to be seen.

He went to the living room in search of her and finally found her on the balcony, her back to him. He silently slid the door open and stopped directly behind her, his arms encasing her and his hands resting on the protective rail in front of them.

“Hey. Is everything ok?”

“Everything is perfect, Kurt.” – She snuggled closer to him. – “I was just appreciating the view. You can’t ever get tired of it, can you? It’s beautiful.”

She’d loved his balcony ever since she stepped on it for the first time on their second day together.

“It is.” – One of his hands left the rail and ended up on her stomach. – “I usually come here to think. And when I do that, it’s mostly about you.”

She chuckled, imagining him in this place, thinking of her with the whole NYC in front of him.

“Did you ever think one day we’d be together in this place?”- She turned around, her arms coming up to circle his neck. – “Like this?”

“I dreamed about it. About having you here in my arms and kissing you right on this spot.”

“You did?”

“Thousands of times.”

She smiled shyly, averting her eyes from his intense stare. She shifted, once again facing their wonderful view.

“This is a nice change from the lack of view of my safe house.”- It was a simple statement and he knew she didn’t mean anything by it but it broke his heart that she would never see her safe house as a home and would always refer to it as what it was: just a safe house.

There was one thing he could do about that…

Make this right, Weller.

“Speaking of your safe house,” – He put his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him again. He had to see her when he uttered his next words. – “What do you say we return it to the FBI and you can come and live here? You’d have this view you love so much whenever you want.”

Her eyes widened as he spoke, her mouth opening but not a sound coming out.

“What?” – She ultimately asked. Surely she’d heard him wrong. Mr. Choosy couldn’t be proposing what she thought he was.

“Move in with me, Jane.”

He waited anxiously as she processed his request. What is it too soon? Too much? Was she not ready for this next step?

“Yes.” – She interrupted his train of thought, her voice sure and her eyes sparkling. – “I’d love to live with you, Kurt.” – Her voice broke in the end, tears welling up in her eyes. She couldn’t believe what was happening. She couldn’t even phantom the idea of finally having a place to call home.

A place with Kurt Weller, the love of her life.

He hugged her tight, also not quite believing what was going on. Now he’d get to wake up with her in his arms every day. He’d be able to cook for her all of their meals. And they’d come and go to work together.

Together.

“Thank you.” – She whispered, kissing him on his cheek.

He shook his head, his hands framing her face.

“Thank you, Jane.”

They made love for the second time that night on the floor of the balcony she loved so much and that had just changed their entire lives.

Later, as he held her in his arms in their bed, he couldn’t help but imagine Patterson’s reaction to this news. He was going to tell her it would be his mission to give Jane a list of wonderful and happy memories to make her forget all of her heart breaks.

Today had just been another bullet point on this new list.

And he couldn’t wait to keep adding more.

[whatshouldjustbeours]

I wanna be so lost, so lost that I’m found (Jane/Kurt)

A/N: Still recovering from the season premiere but here you go! This idea just popped in my head and I had to write it! Special thanks to these girls for beta reading it: @206bonesaddicted​​ and @tigers-echo-wild

FF.net link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12706475/1/

Summary:  Kurt has to visit one last place before leaving NYC so he can introduce Jane to someone special. Jeller all the way, as always!

I wanna be lost, so lost that I'm found

Jane was so lost inside her thoughts, trying to make a mental list of everything they still needed to pack for their move to Colorado in the following day, that she didn’t notice they were not going home until they were almost out of the city.

“Where are we going?” - She turned to him and paused. The first thing she noted was how white his knuckles were. He was gripping the steering wheel as if his life depended on it. His jaw was set and his expression serious. - “Kurt?”

 He cast a quick glance towards her, giving her a reassuring smile and before she could ask again where they were heading, he made a turn and her question was answered.

Jane couldn’t help the gasp she let out the moment the cemetery stretched out in front of the car. She suddenly understood everything: he was there to say goodbye to Taylor Shaw.

 “I felt like I needed to come here before we…”

She just nodded, her throat tight. They never really talked about Taylor all these months they were together. They’ve been so happy she never found the right moment to bring her up, even though she wanted to know everything he’d be willing to share about the little girl who defined the man she now called her husband.

 Kurt got out of the car and circled it, stopping in front of her door. When she didn’t make a move to exit the vehicle, he pulled the door open and offered her a hand.

 Jane looked from his hand to his face and back to his hand.

“Kurt, I’m not sure I should,”

“I need you to come with me.” - He interrupted her. He had anticipated she wouldn’t want to accompany him but this was something they had to do together and soon she’d understand why. - “Please, Jane.”

 There was nothing she could deny him when he looked at her the way he was now. She accepted his hand and hopped off the car, her face still showing him how unsure she was about going with him.

 He intertwined their fingers and pulled her close enough so he could gently kiss her forehead.

 “Trust me, ok?” - He whispered against it, feeling her once again just nod her head.

 They walked side by side in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. It took them less than five minutes to reach the gravestone that read Taylor Shaw.

 She tried to let go of his hand so he could get near where his friend was resting but he only tightened his hold on hers until they were as close to the stone as possible.

 “Hi, Taylor.” - He greeted quietly. Every time he came here, he always felt stupid talking to a rock but both Dr. Borden and Dr. Sun insisted he should do this. It would help, they said. Today, it felt like the right thing to do. - “I brought someone very special to meet you.”

 He heard Jane taking a deep breath and when he looked at her, he watched as her eyes started filling with tears.

 “Her name is Jane.” - He chuckled before continuing, imagining Taylor’s reaction to his next piece of information. Meeting his wife’s eyes, he completed. - “Jane Weller.”

Jane closed her eyes for a second, feeling overwhelmed by this moment. She was definitely not expecting to spend her last day on NY hearing Kurt talk to Taylor about her.

 “She is my wife.” - He carried on, a smile on his lips. He’d never get tired of calling her that. - “She is the best woman I could ever find to spend the rest of my life with. You’d love her.” - He was not sure about a lot of things in his life but of one thing he was certain: Taylor and Jane would definitely get along.

 “She is strong, kind, loyal and has the most beautiful heart.” - Before she could even protest, he tugged her to him, his arms going around her waist and holding her close against his body. - “You are.” - He whispered against her temple.

 “She is also stubborn as hell.” - That got a laugh out of her. - “She is everything to me.” - Their eyes met and he smiled down at her, feeling lucky for the thousandth time just by having her in his life. His hand cupped her face and used his thumb to dry her tears.  - “And I thought it was past the time you two meet. So... Taylor, this is Jane. Jane, this is Taylor.”

 He watched as Jane focused on the stone. He was starting to think that maybe she wouldn’t say anything when her small voice broke the silence.

 “Hi, Taylor.” - She realized in that moment that she had so many things to say to the girl she didn’t know from where to start. Maybe from the beginning was a good idea. But also a painful one. - “I should start by saying how sorry I am for what happened to you and even more so for impersonating you.”

 “Jane, that’s not why,”

“I know but I need to do this, Kurt.” - He shut up at the look of confidence on her face.

 He remembered the first day he came here and how many times he apologized for not being able to protect Taylor from his own father and how much better he felt at the end of it. Maybe this was something Jane also needed to go through.

 “I’m deeply sorry, Taylor. Nor you, nor Kurt deserved it but,” - Her husband was about to cut her off again but she threw him a look that stopped him. - “Even if I wish all that happened hadn’t caused so much pain, it also led me to this amazing man.” - She locked eyes with him and she was sure he was remembering the exact same moment as her.

 All of this, it led me to you. And you to me. That is something I would never want to undo.

 “Did he ever tell you he is one of the best FBI agents the Bureau has? Or how he has all these friends that love him so much? We all feel very blessed to know him and have him in our lives.” - She looked at him then.  - “You’d be so, so proud of him.”

 Her words surprised him and she observed as his eyes welled with tears.

 “As for me, he is the best man I could have found and sometimes I can’t believe he chose me to spend the rest of his life with. I assure you I’m doing everything in my power to deserve this choice.”

 She pressed a soft kiss to his shoulder before going on.

“I promise you I’ll always do everything I can to protect him and to make him happy. There is no one I know who deserves more.”

 He lightly shook his head and she knew what he was thinking: we both do.

 “There is one more thing you should know: he never gave up on you.” - His breath caught in his throat, his eyes fixed on her face, waiting for her next words. - “He will always love you and will always remember you. You are a part of him. And if you allow me to say, you are a part of me too. In a way, you brought us together and I’ll honor that until the day I die.”

 She wiped some of his tears away and then wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his chest as they both stared at the stone.

 “We are moving to Colorado tomorrow so we can stay close to Bethany.” - Kurt said quietly. - “But we promise you we’ll always visit whenever we are in town.”

 Jane felt her heart filling with joy at how he used the word ‘we’.

 They made their way back hand in hand. They were almost at the car when Kurt stopped her, a hand on her arm.

 “Thank you for everything you said about me, Jane.”

 “It’s all true, Kurt.”

 “All I said about you it’s true too, you know?” - He placed his hands on her waist, bringing her to him. Jane’s arms circled his neck. - “And I have the rest of our lives to make you believe it, Mrs. Weller.”

 She laughed at that, kissing him briefly on the lips.

 “I look forward to it, Mr. Weller.”