#no bc why is she shining im literally under her spell

[fizzytoo]

i'm putting the submissions i have in-game and im enchanted by @beebeesiims's dalila 😖

[blxetsi]

so,, your requests are open, huh?😫😫 like, imagine this ; y/n discovers her family has died, causing them to be all sad and trying to find a way numb all the pain. finding an alcohol, y/n gets *totally* drunk in their own room and it's hange, who finds them on the bathroom floor in pain sobbing and crying, as they help y/n to hold their hair back, while they throw up and then get them to bed, where they end up cuddling hange for comfort or something like that- of course if you're not comfortbale writing this, it's totally alright and i understand! stay safe and have a nice day <33

no bc ive been thinking abt this ask since i got it 🤩 so sorry im getting back to u so late babby 😔💔

promise

hange zoe x gn!reader (or maybe female idk u decide)

warnings: death, grieving, drunk thoughts, WARNING UHHH when i wrote this i literally forgot abt the armoured/colossal titan reveal so lets just assume that never happened in this. teehee !

not proofread but when have i ever done that 🤨⁉️

when you first became a scout, you never expected your job to affect your family.

your family was normal, there wasn't ever any abnormality with it. you all lived normal lives with normal relationships and normal jobs. it was boring at times, but that feeling of boredom quickly became one of safety once you joined the survey corps.

the small memories you had with your family during holidays, and the mementos you've kept safe from letters, hidden away under your pillow will be the only things bringing you that feeling of safety again. but it still wont be the same.

you grew up in ragako village, with marie, your step mother and joseph your father, and your little brother marcus. your biological mother, winnie, died when you were three, and marie was the closest thing to a maternal figure that you had. she may not have been your "real" mom, but she was your mother nonetheless, and you loved her so dearly. you'd give anything to feel her warm hands rub your back when you're sad, or her soft lips to kiss your nose.

your brother was such a playful little thing. he always had a trick up his sleeve, a joke to play on anyone. all he ever wanted was to make people laugh, even if it meant having people laugh at him. he once told you late at night, after your father had told him he needed to take his learning seriously, that he wanted to be a clown when he grew up. you dont know why he wanted to go into such degrading work, especially when he was a very curious and hardworking kid, but you realized that putting on makeup and singing songs for kids was the only thing he could think of that would bring joy to others. you would miss the way he would make fun of the people who made you sad, just to see you giggle with tears running down your face, you would miss the funny faces he would throw at you when you two chopped wood, or the hugs of appreciation he would give you after helping him perfect his spelling on homework.

your dad, joseph, was a very serious man. he was so sad when your mother died, and even though you were so young you wondered if he would ever be happy again. you're glad he was, he loved marie, he would laugh and dance and hold her and kiss her the exact same way he did to winnie. joseph was a man who devoted himself to his family, who prided himself in his hardwork and someone who wanted the best for his kids. he was stern when it came to your education, because he had never taken it seriously when he was young. although things worked out for him in the long run, he had heard too many stories of other folks who didnt, who became dirt poor and homeless. he never wanted that to happen to his kids, he wanted them to be independent, to have drive, and he wanted them to safe with a roof over their heads. you'd miss it when he would take you to see your mothers' grave. rain or shine, whenever you wanted he would always walk with you to the graveyard. even if you said "im old enough to walk alone, im not a kid anymore !" he would insist that he had to take you. "even if you just miss her," he would say "if you need a shoulder to cry on, or a hug, i have to be there just incase." sometimes you regret leaving in the night to become a cadet. you would miss his vegetable stew, you would miss his deep raspy voice singing old folk songs hes heard. you would miss the way he would kiss the top of your head, and rub the stubble on his face on your cheeks to tease you.

you would miss everything about them, the good and the bad.

when titans mysteriously appeared, the survey corps was tasked with not only killing them, but warning nearby villages of the danger. you were tasked with defending wall rose alongside the garrison unit. you knew connie springer, as well as other soldiers from the 104th had been sent to warn the villages.

you remember meeting the cadets, and overhearing a conversation springer had with his friends, braus and kirschtein, about a letter his mom had sent him from his hometown.

"you're from ragako too ? small world !"

yeah it was a small world.

you didnt get back to base until late, but you knew once you got there you needed to find connie. you needed to know your family was okay.

you remember the stupid look he wore on his face, how he ducked his head down to dodge your gaze. the way his hands shook at his side.

"are they okay ? did you help evacuate them all safely ?"

connie shoved his hands in his pockets, shaking his head slightly. "i- i don't-"

that answer only made you more worried. you put your hands on the boy's shoulders as you yelled at him. "springer ! say something !" you pleaded. you wanted the people of ragako to be safe, you wanted your family to be safe, but you think you already knew the answer to your own question.

you were about to say something else, another yell for him to speak up, maybe a quip about you being his superior, but it all died down before it even came out, when you felt a warm hand on your own.

you knew who it belonged to before you even looked. hange.

the section commander looked at you with pity and regret in their eyes. "l/n, drop it for now."

thats what hurt the most. never once had hange ever used your last name when addressing you. it was always your first name, and in the privacy of their office (or bed) it was always a soft whisper of sweetheart.

you felt your eyes burn up as they became glossy, the burn in your throat and the way your cheeks heated up with the way you were trying not to sob.

"they're dead aren't they ?" you asked, and although the question was directed to connie, your eyes couldn't leave hange's.

connie's shoulders shook, and he shook his head no, unable to speak.

you felt like you were being betrayed in some weird way, but you didn't know by who. you ripped your hands off of the kids shoulders, the hand that hange held suddenly feeling cold and proceeded to walk away.

hange watched as you walked down the hallway, continuosly wiping your eyes to keep from crying. the soldier adjusted their glasses, making a mental note to check up on you later, before guiding the boy into erwin smith's office.

hours later, you were drunk in hange's bathroom after stealing a bottle of liquor from under clover's bed. it was cheep, but it got the job done, and if you're being honest clover had a drinking problem anyways, she could deal with no alcohol for a night. if anything you were doing her a favour.

you sighed, your body felt sluggish and your mind felt wrong. you were thinking all of the right and wrong things at the same time. inner turmoil consumed you while flashes of memories from childhood interrupted your thoughts.

how did they die ? thats what you wanna know. the short answer: titans, that much has to be obvious, but maybe they died inside, maybe debris fell on them caused by titans running into buildings, maybe they got trampled on by other people fleeing or horses. you wanted, no, needed to hear the gory details. you needed to know how your family suffered, since its already obvious that they did.

whats the point.

you thought you joined the survey corps to keep your family alive, to keep other families alive.

you wanted to protect others.

hell, you wanted to save the world.

you wished you were there. with them. maybe they didnt die immediately, maybe you couldve tended to their wounds, or at least held them before they left this world.

marcus. he always wanted to make people smile. was he smiling in the end ?

did your dad try and protect his wife and son until his dying breath ?

did your mom try and console herself and her family as destruction raged around them ?

were they in heaven now ?

what were you gonna do now.

maybe you shouldve never left for the survey corps. you shouldnt have left in the middle of the night, only leaving a note telling your family you were pursuing a pipe dream called freedom. you couldve stayed, gotten a job making pottery or become a school teacher. your life could have been mundane and normal and boring instead of filled with death horror and trauma.

why did you choose this path ? why did you choose this life ?

you were always so sure that this is where you belonged, but now, not so much.

i guess thats what happens when your family fucking dies. you start questioning your entire life.

hange wasnt stupid. they knew you were up to no good.

first it was when they stopped by the dorms, trying to find you, only to find a girl by the name of clover, gossiping with other cadets about stolen booze. the woman quickly snapped her mouth shut when she saw the section commander walking up to them. when the group was asked "wheres y/n" everyone's answer was the same. "i dont know."

they then moved to their office, hoping that maybe you were waiting there for them. knowing youd make a fuss out of the use of "l/n" during your last conversation, hange practiced an apology in their head before stopping at their door, that was cracked open.

how the hell did you get in ? oh yeah, the key that hange gave you for "urgent work." meaning late night booty calls.

the stolen alcohol, and the section commander's door being unlocked ? you wanted a private place to drink your sorrows.

it makes sense now.

they opened the door the rest of the way, peaking inside to see it left the way it was. an organized mess left by zoe hange themself. closing the door, they felt your key still stuck inside the handle, before pulling it out and keeping it safe in their pocket.

silence. hange made hurried steps throughout this room and the next, opening the door to their bedroom, only to see it left the way it was this morning, with old clothes strewn around and an unmade bed. finally, their gaze landed upon the bathroom door, and could see a faint light from under it.

the brunette slowly made their way until they stood in front of the closed door before knocking.

"you called me l/n." you said, your voice muffled by the wooden barrier.

hange let out a breath of air through their nose. "im sorry." a beat passed, no one said anything. "are you okay ?"

you sighed. you felt as though your body was moving on your own, like you were watching a movie on a screen. this body felt like jelly, like it wasnt yours. your head felt foggy and your throat was dry, your tummy hurt from all of the alcohol you had consumed. you reached up and tugged on the handle until the door opened, making way for you to see hange's face looking down on you.

they wordlessly came inside, slowly sliding down the wall until their butt made contact with the floor. the section commander said nothing as they watched you play with the almost empty bottle of liquor.

"how did they die ?" your question came soft, like a child was asking it.

after that meeting with erwin and connie, hange wasnt sure they should tell you, either because of protocol or because of your mental state.

a few moments passed, and you took a glance at hange just to find them staring at you.

"i cant tell you that." they whispered.

you nodded, looking back to the bottle that sat in between your legs. "will you tell me anyways ?" you asked, your voice shaking.

hange sighed and looked away, before readjusting their glasses. "you know i," they paused. "you know i cant tell you confidential information just because we're fucking."

you nodded. "are we just fucking ?" you asked.

the brunette sighed again. "you're drunk."

"don't change the subject."

"you know i don't have time for relationships right now-"

"but you feel something." you looked up at them, and even though your eyes were red and you had bags under them, even though your lips had formed into a pout, even with your furrowed eye brows and oily skin you still looked so gorgeous to them. "you do feel something right ?"

hange shook their head. "even if i do, im not going to jeopardize my rank and career to tell you something im not supposed to."

it was silent for a while, yet you thought you could still her their voice echoing against the walls of the tiny space.

"i've never once asked you or tried to manipulate you into doing anything for me because of your rank. all i'm asking is for you to tell me how my fucking family died. i'll never ask for anything from you again ever. i'll even stop talking to you altogether if that's what you want so please, please just tell me the truth."

you sat with your hands in your lap, playing with the zipper of your pants. the bottle sat in front of you on the tiled floor, taunting you in some way you didn't understand. you heard hange shuffle around until their thigh touched yours.

"they got turned into titans. we don't know how, but now we think that all of the titans we've encountered, were originally human."

what.

you felt your blood run cold. it was like the movie stopped, you were back to reality. in this body, in this life, with your sore head, and rough throat and weak body and your stomach aching-

speaking of aching, you really had to throw up.

quickly you passed the bottled to hange so you wouldn't spill, before crawling the short way to the toilet. you heard hange come up behind you before grabbing your hair and rubbing your back. you dry heaved and sobbed all at the same time, while hange shushed you.

"it's okay sweetheart, just let it out. shh, i know baby, take deep breaths for me okay ? that's it, there we go." they whispered. the deepness of their voice calmed you, and weirdly, you hoped this moment wouldn't end.

after a couple more minutes throwing up bile and alcohol into the toilet, you calmed down a bit to be able to be pulled off. you leaned against the bathtub as hange left the room, hearing them fumble around the bedroom and then office looking for something.

just as you were done wiping the tears from your eyes, hange came in holding a water bottle. "it's from a day ago, but its still almost full. you need to keep hydrated sweetheart."

the brunette handed you the bottle before crouching in front of you, hands on your knees as they watched you take gulp after gulp of the warm water as if it was the most wonderful thing in the world.

"there we go, my dear."

everything else felt like a blur as hange pulled you up before leading you to their bedroom. you felt them sit you down on the bed before undoing all of your straps and your belt, pulling you up to take off your boots and pants for you, as well as your jacket and shirt and socks. you were stripped down to your underwear as they led you to lay down, the world spinning when you hit your head on the pillow. they pulled up the covers on your almost naked form, before taking off their own clothes and retiring for the night.

laying in bed with hange, in a way that wasn't sexual, although it had been done before this time was different. maybe it was the effects of the liquor, or maybe it was the somewhat sweet confession hange gave you that night, that made your heart hammer in your chest. your legs shook slightly and you felt so light. "im in love with you zoe." you whispered.

after a couple beats of silence you assumed they were sleeping, which was maybe for the best since you werent thinking clearly.

"i love you too." the confession came out so soft you could've missed it, you would have if you weren't waiting for a response. you turned on your side to look at hange, who's glasses had been taken off and hair was down.

"but i don't know if i can-"

you immediately shushed them, shuffling forward until your body was pressed against theirs, bare chests touching and you could feel just how warm they were all over. "be with me."

their arms came to wrap around you, caging you in their hold. "i don't know if i can, i mean what if something happens out there. to either of us ?" they asked.

you pondered it in your head. how should you respond ? they had a right to be worried about this, people died everyday in this line of work. but you wanted them. you're so selfish you want all of them.

"thats an important question, but one that will remain unanswered until it actually happens. i want you. im in love with you. so be with me hange." you said, grabbing their face in your hands, pulling them closer until your nosed were touching.

the older officer sighed again. "what if i cant make enough time for you-"

"as long as we love each other we'll always have enough time." you whispered, your lips ghosting over theirs.

as if they had a thought of "fuck it" their lips crashed onto yours, it was a rough and messy kiss filled with spit and tongue and teeth. it was an overdue kiss, of desperation, love, fear, and everything in between. this kiss was a promise to you.

and it was a promise you would keep until you died.

uhh i literally wanted to add more but its almost 4:30 and i can hear the birds chirping outside 😔💔 goodnight my friends also REQUESTS OPEN 😋‼️‼️

[youngk93]

long list of accidental run ins WHO THE FUCK ELSE HAVE YOU MET lol im curious spill the beanssss

Under the cut + some stories about things that happened at that time

Seungri and TOP from BB both at a club, different nights, both were v intoxicated. Seungri asked if I wanted to come into VIP and even tho he’s my BB bias I was like no thank I’m a smol (I was 20 at the time, 21 Korean age but I was very new to everything bc I never went clubbing in the states or drank alcohol (allergic to everything but pure alcohols) so i was like i don’t wanna chance it but thank u) TOP acts like a 5yo when drunk 100% confirmed. it was cute my friend hated the living hell out of it but he liked her better bc she was gorgeous i ain’t even gonna deny she was so good lookin. i am a mere mushroom compared.

Tiger JK, Mirae, Bizzy (suuuper nice people! my friend’s friend was throwing a party and they were there. DJ Jazzyjeff was playin that night too it was a bomb)

Jay Park (was at the same party. V short. much attitude in that smol body. white girls were tryin to get up on him and he was like leave me alone LOL) 

I swear I met Hyukoh in Hongdae but nobody believes me but he sat next to me on a bench and he was v polite v quiet as usual and I did the polite bow and he did it back but then I was like dang he cute in person and his friend came so he left i was like bye u cutie sobsobsob

UH, Yoona from GG twice! I met her once during that time I met BTS and another time i saw her when I was dropping my little bro at ICN airport and there were a million people there and she walked passed us in line.

Day6 (x like10 ?) +Junhyeok my coffee neighbor ;n;///// back when i lived in the boonies of 망원도 tho 10/10 would live there again now that i think abt it offered to help with instruments (this was like in september/october of 15 they were still playing v small shows) and youngk was like no thank you we’re good (he says as they’re squishing into an elevator with everything but was still smiling brightly)

Zhang Yixing randomly he was filming smth and my friends and I just happened to be there 

BTS like I stated before

SHINee’s Taemin LMFAO that kid can run fast he was on the subway in everybody era clothes and as soon as the next stop came he just BOOKED it like I have never SEEN anybody scale stairs that fast.

Nemesis, not sure if any of u care but it’s a super awesome band

VIXX came to my school once and did a free performance and i did not know sob sob sob

But I met 10cm at my school like, they didn’t perform they came for the school festival to eat LMFAO i swear i have never seen more innocent people

Kim Woobin was at my old school, too (I’ve met a truck ton of models, fashion week is so chill, including XIN, GD’s bff. Dude’s not so scary in real life he’s real polite. He was standing next to me for some time and i looked over bc i was like u standin close son (i’m from NY so i’m always like u tryina mug me or smth son why u standin close) and i looked over and was all O_O it u, he’s actually taller than i thought he would be but not as scary as i thought he would be go figure.

but yes, there’s a model cafe tucked away in itaewon like it was so hard to find at first it’s v deceiving but it’s model owned and lots of models chill there cause it’s out of the way but it’s a public shop so i went and stayed for a little it was chill

SO CLOSE TO MEETING MY LOVE SOOHYUK (again? i swear i met him in a club but he was intoxicated AF it doesn’t count and he couldn’t remember my name so he called me New Yorker instead lol) BUT HE SHOWED UP AN HOUR AFTER I LEFT I HAD STAYED AT FASHION WEEK UNTIL 7PM EVERY SINGLE DAY AND ON THE LAST DAY HE WAS LIKE LOL I GUESS I’LL SHOW UP AWRETSRJYDTKUYFIASG SOOHYUUUUKKKKK

I met all of Nu’est and had the guts to ask JR for his signature only because i had my sketchbook out sob sob they were all so nice they gave me a coffee!! it was the worst coffee i’ve ever had but !! it was sweet!!  and a churro!! absolute sweethearts ;w; ;w; sobsobsob they were v pleasant and it was fun spelling out my name bc he wrote a heart over the i in my name i was like lol u cute stop stoP

Taehyung from Winner I met him in a club he was v quiet and probably wasn’t supposed to be there. 

Met Kim Bum at Lotte World once! he was in line ahead of me with his then-girlfriend. He was v handsome in person. 

KIM JISOO. I MET KIM JISOO. swoon swoon~ I was at fashion week and everyone was screaming and there he was i was like *A* gorgeous, gorgeous. he was kind of new to the scene so everyone was like who dis 

Cheetah, Hyuna (4Minute), Hyorin (GG) I met at fashion week!

Met Beenzino and Kanto in NY once that was nice. v polite, kanto is like a smol child u want to hold him

Oh i met block b after a concert once as well, and I met TaeIl in a club in gangnam somewhere my God he ‘s so cute in person and everyone calls him short but he ain’t that short. he was suckin on a lolli too i was like lol do you belong in a club. i had met him not too long before that along with MIB at a concert and he was like oh hello again and waved v cutely like he said in english ‘oh hello’ and waved i was like stop u cutie. park kyung remembers me a lot more than the other members tho and that’s how i became a kyung stan. 

met eric nam in church lolol

I’m sure there are more ppl that I cannot remember rn. A LOT of people, I literally have no interest in so it’s a ll v chill meeting them and they see that i’m chill so it’s like no stress. I’m very good at poker face and not bein invasive because i really just don’t want to be that person ???????? about them as a celebrity but them as a person i’d be totally down to getting to know so that’s like the attitude i bring.