#no I won’t actively ruin anyone’s life

[bunniesandbeheadings]

For over a decade now I’ve endured a very similar joke from people who, I know, both never have spoken to one another (so it’s not a conscious conspiracy) and also, I know objectively, don’t really mean me harm (because they can’t know my past history with this)

But ever since elementary school (for context: I’m a grown ass woman now with a husband and a mortgage and if I drop my favorite bag of chips on the ground I shouldn’t cry about it) every single one of my friends and also, a great majority of my family like to make a similar crack

“Did you know you’re my second best friend?”

“I love you bunnies! But I love (x) person more!”

And again, I know no individual person means me ill with this

But I’m just so. Genuinely tired of hearing this. I’m really tired of hearing my whole life “ha ha! You’re second best!”

Like it’s to the point that where a girlfriend of mine said it to me that every part of my brain fires off and told me, “ha. She thinks she’s telling you that you’re her second best friend! But here’s a funny thing you could do: just be her number one worst enemy.

Backstab the bitch

Ruin her fucking life the moment you get the chance

She thinks you’re her second best friend! Wait. You’ll find the time to show her that you’re really the worst enemy she’s ever made! Betrayal is fun!”

Cuz that’s what I want to do!

I don’t know why everyone I’ve ever met thinks it’s funny to tell me I’m their second favorite. Say nothing at all! I don’t need a ranking system! I don’t ask to be ranked people just tell me, out of nowhere, “you’re my second favorite person”

Ha ha ha

Well I’m about to be your least favorite person because I am going to actively ruin your life now! Thanks!

((See tags. No im not an actual threat. I don’t have the time for that. But what the fuck. Stop saying this to me. Stop it. I have low self esteem and I will kill us both.))

[seravphs]

ੈ♡˳·˖✶ — TEEN DAD! GOJO SATORU x FEM READER

The Zenins want Megumi. Gojo isn’t having it.

wc — 1.7k

tags — one suggestive line after “those girls are better off without you” if you want to avoid it, set after 棠, part of teen dad gojoverse, in which you and Gojo raise Megumi together

Gojo’s been in the doghouse since last night. Not literally, obviously - though he might have preferred it if you were there with him, at least. He’d take anything over being kicked out of your shared bedroom and being forced to sleep on the couch. 

If you had it your way, you’d prolong his punishment, but you can’t. Not when, as he told you last night, the Zenins are coming today to wrest Megumi from your custody. 

Fat chance. 

You’d die before you let that happen. 

Gojo’s not too keen on either of those outcomes. For the first time in his life, he’s taking the pacifist’s route and talking it out, though you’re sure his version of talking involves more insults than most people’s. 

He thought about simply having it out with the elders, but it’s not worth it. Not when he has a plan for the future of Jujutsu Society. Not when he has you, Megumi, and Tsumiki. He’s playing the long game. He can’t afford to screw it up now. 

Being a family man really has ruined him. 

Zenin Keiko is a tall woman with a severe black bob and the characteristic Zenin look of perpetual contempt. She’s Naoya’s cousin, alright. 

“Twice-removed,” Gojo whispers to you. “Or illegitimate. Something like that, I can’t remember.” 

“Shut up,” you whisper back out of the corner of your mouth. “She’s going to hear you.” 

Welcoming a Zenin into your home feels like blasphemy, though you suppose Gojo is the closest thing Jujutsu society has to a god. 

Gojo’s unimpressed by her, mostly because he feels like the Zenins are mocking him. It’s not like anyone can take him on, but to send someone who has no battle capabilities feels like an insult.  

Keiko is an auxiliary manager with no cursed technique to speak of besides a weak barrier. It’s a wonder she has the nerve to speak to Gojo. The Zenins truly did not care about her if they sent her as the proxy to undermine your roles as the Fushiguro children’s guardians. In fact, you suspect that’s the precise reason she was chosen - because she’s expendable. 

Keiko, to her credit, shows no sign of fear. 

“I’d like to meet the children, Mr. Gojo. It’ll give me a good grasp of what the situation is.” 

“Hell no,” Gojo outright laughs in her face. “I’m not letting a Zenin near my brats. Your-“

“Gojo.” You squeeze his knee. Cooperate. 

“I’ll go get them,” he says begrudgingly.

The two of you sandwich the children between you on the couch. Tsumiki sits on Gojo’s left. Megumi sits on your right. That way, the two that are most likely to fight are separated. It’s a strategized united front. 

“Megumi, do you like your guardians? Do you like staying here?” 

Megumi looks at you. You smile at him encouragingly - and there Keiko goes, scribbling away in her notebook. She’s probably saying something about how Megumi is so scared of you he won’t answer the question unless you give him permission. 

“Are you sure? Forgive me, but Gojo seems a little…immature for a parent.” 

A direct attack right out of the gates. Gojo objects to this very accurate assessment of his character. 

“He’s fine, I guess,” Megumi says. There’s more scribbling. You’re starting to hate the sound of pen on paper. “I like-“ 

He looks at you. There’s a tiny blush on his cheeks, just the faintest hint of red. More quietly, he says, “It’s fine, cause she takes care of us.” 

Gojo stares at him, slack-jawed. “Are you kidding me? You are one ungrateful brat. Who found you? Who took you in?” 

Tsumiki chimes in, “We like Gojo a lot too! He’s fun.” 

Keiko ignores her completely, focusing on Megumi instead. Your distaste for her grows. 

“Would you say that Gojo has an active role in taking care of you?” 

“Why aren’t you asking Tsumiki anything?” Megumi interrupts. “Her opinion’s important too.” 

Keiko gives him a strained smile. Gojo reaches behind Tsumiki on the couch to ruffle Megumi’s hair. He only tolerates this for five seconds before he shakes his head to get him off. 

“He loves me,” Gojo says. 

“I have Stockholm syndrome,” Megumi says. ‘Help,’ he mouthes. 

“He’s joking,” Tsumiki says nervously.

You’ve given up on making them behave. It’s just not happening. 

Keiko seems to have given up too. Rather than continue prodding Megumi, she turns to Gojo. 

“How often are you home?”

“Basically every day,” Gojo lies. He does try his best, but it’s more like every other day. Such is the fate of the strongest sorcerer. 

“Don’t want my baby all alone, poor little thing.” 

He catches your look and cackles. “No, the other one. My other baby,” and the kiss he presses to your knuckles is so tender it melts your heart. 

Keiko makes an uncomfortable expression. “Please try to stay focused, Mr. Gojo.” 

Megumi gags loudly. Tsumiki pinches his arm to get him to shut up and he yelps. Keiko narrows her eyes and makes another note. 

“I understand how Gojo might take responsibility for the children,” Keiko says, directing her attention to you, “but how did you come into the picture. Are you a girlfriend-“

“Wife,” Gojo interjects. 

Keiko’s entire body does an approximation of what it would look if a human had a screenshot function. 

“Aren’t you children?”

You don’t like Keiko at all, but you respect the balls it takes to talk to Gojo like that. All the Zenins seem to have that death wish of wanting to mouth off to the strongest. Maybe it’s a genetic thing. 

Gojo shrugs. “If I’m old enough for the missions you send me on, I’m old enough to take care of kids, right? How hard can it be?”

You pinch his thigh. “Gojo.” 

“What? It is easy. You just give them a bunch of lollipops and call it a day.” 

Keiko’s writing is now background noise to you. “Are you still doing that? I told you-“

“It’s fine! All kids need sugar to grow. I had a sweet tooth when I was their age.”

“And that’s probably the reason why you still have one now! Except it’s rotting your teeth-“

“It’s not-“

“It is!”

“Don’t be so uptight!”

“How does it look if I’m always saying no to him and you’re always saying yes? It isn’t fair, Satoru. Parenting has to be a team effort.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“I’m talking about you playing good cop, bad cop with him!” 

“Have you gone insane? We went over this! He likes you more than me! There is no good cop, bad cop when he just takes your side every single time.” 

“Excuse me,” Keiko says. She’s somehow managed to look a complex combination of perplexed, annoyed, and satisfied. “Please take care of your lovers’ tiffs outside of this interview. I will say that this doesn’t seem like an environment particularly conducive to raising children, however.” 

“What do you know?” Gojo says rudely. “The only reason you’re even doing this interview is because I’m letting you.” 

Normally, you would tell him off, but in front of the Zenins? You’re a united front. You place a hand on his forearm and look down your nose at the woman in front of you as best as you can when she’s taller than most people you meet. 

“I think you’ve overstayed your welcome,” you say. 

“You agreed to an interview,” she says. 

“An interview, not an inquisition.”

“You can’t refuse a request from the elders without consequences,” she says, as patiently as she would speak to a child. It’s condescending. 

“Are you threatening my wife?” 

When you look to your side, Gojo’s face is shadowed. His eyes are storm dark and frightening. Keiko can’t hide her visceral reaction. 

She forgets her coat on her way out, she’s in such a hurry to leave. Gojo takes it and disappears. 

While he’s away, you let Megumi and Tsumiki return to their rooms. They’re muttering amongst themselves, but you don’t pry. Children need their space, too. You’ll talk to them about it later. 

He’s back within a minute. 

“What did you do with it?” You’re bracing yourself for the answer. 

“I just sent a message,” he says, as cheerily as if nothing had happened. “Think we passed that?” 

“Gojo, I think that’s the first test you’ve ever failed. Did you see the way she was writing during the last twenty minutes? And Megumi and Tsumiki! Every time they said something, she made a face!” 

Gojo shrugs, still so certain of his place in the hierarchy. One day, the elders will get tired of him throwing his weight around like Jujutsu’s one and only tyrant, but not someday soon if they want to keep their heads. 

“It’s fine,” he says. “I’m not going to make Megumi and Tsumiki act like repressed little puppet children just so that they can find some way to snipe them out from under us anyways. Who knows, maybe we’ll teach the Zenins a thing or two about healthy child raising. I hear they have two girls now. One of them has no cursed energy. Should we kidnap some more children?” 

“Like you know anything about healthy parenting,” you snark. “Those girls are better off without you.” 

“Does being mean to me get you off or something?” 

“Do you want to find out?” 

“I would love to,” he purrs, sliding a hand under your shirt just so slightly so his nails prick at your lower stomach. You grab his wrist. 

“Sorry,” you say, your stomach churning at the joke gone wrong. “I can’t.”

He stops immediately. “What’s wrong?” 

“I just- They want Megumi badly enough to go to the higher ups. I know what they do to their children. I can’t let him go there, Satoru. I can’t.” 

“I won’t let that happen.”

“I can’t stop thinking about those girls.”

“Come here,” he says. 

You lean closer to him. He lifts his arm so easily, without thinking. When you slide under it, you fit into him perfectly. 

Now that you’re safely tucked under his arm, you feel sheltered from anything that could happen.  “I don’t want to give the kids to the Zenins. They’re monsters. And they would make monsters out of them.” 

“That’s only if they take them away,” Gojo says, his smile fanged and vicious. 

“And if they do?”

“I hope they try.”

You trust him. 

You know he’ll keep his word. If Gojo says Megumi and Tsumiki won’t be going to the Zenins as long as he’s alive, then they won’t be going at all. 

[littleoddwriter]

Special Little Lamb | Cooper Abbott x GenderNeutral!Reader | Dark Fic

Hey there! This fic is inspired by this textpost and @hibiskooks' tags, which led to further thoughts on my part and then the urge to turn them into a whole short story (hence why I linked my own reblog on my horror sideblog because it shows both our tags and the thought process). Understandably, it's a dark fic, albeit romantic this time, unlike my previous Cooper fic, hjdkhsjk! I hope you'll enjoy it! summary; You were once a captive of the Butcher, but as it so happened, you formed a deep connection with him and are now helping him with his victims. One of them tries to get through to you to help them out of the basement, but hadn't realised your status as the Butcher's favourite. You have a tattoo to prove it, though, and so does he. notes/warnings; Gender Neutral!Reader; Dark Fic; Reader used to be a Victim (still is, if you will); Reader most definitely has Stockholm Syndrome and is Morally Grey/Dark; Implied/Mentioned Murders; Active Captivity of a Female Victim; Abuser/Victim Relationship (if we're being realistic); Ableist Language (once); Partner Tattoos; Hints at Sexual Acitivity, but nothing Explicit whatsoever; Kissing.

With practised ease, you opened the several locks, and then the door they were a part of, down to the basement in the usually vacant house in a small neighbourhood on the outskirts of Philadelphia. The door opened with a loud squeak. You made a mental note to remind Cooper to oil the hinges, again. 

As if on cue, you could hear chains being dragged across the concrete floor and frantic rattling of metal against metal. 

Carefully, you went downstairs to the basement, where a woman in her thirties was held captive. She sat on the ground in the middle of the room, and the chains of her cuffs were attached to the far wall. 

“I’m a little late today, I know. Sorry,” you told her gently, shooting her an apologetic smile. 

For a long moment, she just looked at you, while you were walking over to her and then crouching across from her. And just like you did the previous times you visited her, you retrieved a protein bar and a small bottle of water from a bag, handing each item to her. 

The woman, Anna, ripped them out of your hands, scooting further away from you when she did, like a small, wild and scared animal. It was almost amusing to you. There was no reason for her to be scared of you, after all.

In silence, you watched her devour the protein bar and down the water in one go. You really had been late that day. 

Once she was done, you stood back up, picked up the trash and put it back into your bag. Cooper didn’t like to leave it there in the basement, and so you didn’t either. 

You were about to start your way upstairs again when the woman called out to you, “Wait!”

Turning around to face her, you made a small noise, indicating that you were listening.

“You don’t have to do any of this… please… just let me go. You could just unlock the cuffs and leave the door open. He doesn’t have to know! Please!” she pleaded with you, tears in her eyes and desperation clear in her voice, “I won’t tell anyone, okay? I promise. I won’t tell anyone that you’re involved.” 

This was the fifth time she begged you to let her go. She was more persistent than most of the others ever had been. Or maybe she’d just been there long enough to come up to five separate occasions of pleading for her life to be spared. 

Sighing softly, you shook your head, “No. I can’t do that, I’m sorry.” You crouched down across from Anna once more, making eye contact with her. Then, you pointed to the far edge of the ceiling above and behind you, looking back at her. “He has a camera here. He’d know if I helped you. And even if he wouldn’t… I’m not ruining this for him.”

Sometimes, Cooper liked to take his time with them. This having been one of them. Although, you knew that a lot of it had to do with his work. He had to do extra shifts and stay on call these past two weeks because they were short staffed at the firehouse, due to injuries that affected half of the regular team and rendered them unable to work for a while. 

It was only a matter of time until Cooper had the chance to commit several hours to this woman in front of you. But for the time being, you had to keep paying her visits to bring her snacks and drinks, and let her use the toilet in the back of the basement, just so she’d stay alive long enough. 

To keep them for more than a week was risky, though.

“Why are you doing this?” Anna asked you after a beat, changing tactics apparently, because this question was new. “I recognise you. I saw you on the news a few years ago. You went missing, too.”

Frowning, you let out a deep exhale, “I know what you’re trying to do. It’s not gonna work, so stop it.”

“What did he do to you? Is he forcing you?” she pressed anyway, unsurprisingly ignoring what you said.

Groaning softly in annoyance, you got up, stretching your back. You looked down at her, seeing nothing but a desperate woman, who was grasping at straws to ensure safety. Unfortunately for Anna, her pleas would only be ignored, since you had no interest in helping her.

“He’s not forcing me. I chose to stay and help,” you told her, then. 

For you, this was the end of this conversation, but Anna clearly wasn’t ready to let it stay that way, reaching out to you and gripping your wrists tightly, her chains clanking loudly. At the suddenness of all this, you flinched, trying to shake her off of you. 

“Let go of me!” you hissed at her.

“No! Listen to me,” she urged you, her grasp unexpectedly strong, “I don’t believe you. He must have convinced you that this is what you wanted, told you things, threatened you. Why would you ever willingly stay with a monster like him?”

“He’s not a monster!” you interrupted her, raising your voice at her.

Anna wasn’t deterred by it, though, “He kills people! Keeps them in this crappy basement until he’s done with them. He’s a monster. People don’t do that. And you know that he’ll get to you at some point, too.

“Do you really think that he’ll spare you forever? You might be useful to him now, but there’ll be a point where you make a mistake or he just gets bored of you. And I mean, why wouldn’t he? You’re nothing to him! He’ll find somebody else, somebody less damaged than you. And when he does, he’ll discard you, like you never meant anything. Because you don’t. Not to him.

“But if you help me out of here, we can go together. And we’ll get help, okay? He won’t hurt you anymore. You’ll be free, we both will,” she finished her little speech, breathing heavily, frantically, once she was done, and looking up at you with wild eyes, just hoping to get through to you.

There was no denying that she’d hit a nerve in you, but not in the way she had hoped.

Your brow twitched as you tried to keep your immediate rage at bay. 

Instead, you composed yourself with a couple of deep breaths, feeling Anna let go of your arms when she seemed to think that she was starting to achieve her goal with you. 

With a flourish, you pulled the long sleeve of your jacket up, exposing your inner left wrist to Anna’s questioning eyes, which widened almost instantly when she saw the tattoo on your skin. It was a black thin lined tattoo of a meat cleaver in front of a background that appeared almost ethereal, despite how minimalistic it was. But she quickly connected the dots. Cooper had a tattoo just like it, only that instead of a meat cleaver, it was a lamb at the centre. 

“I’m his favourite, you know? We got these tattoos about a year ago. He told me that he wanted something to represent me on his skin, as well, when I begged him to let me get a tattoo that would remind me of him. I didn’t ask him to get one, or make any sort of suggestion to wanting that. But he did it anyway. Because he wanted that reminder of me,” you explained the tattoos to Anna, who just looked at you in disbelief. 

With a pleased smile on your lips, you slid the sleeve back down to cover your arm again. 

“‘The Butcher’s little Lamb’ is what he told me when we got home after the tattoo appointment,” you told her softly with a wistful smile as you reminisced, “He let me go. But I stayed. I begged him to let me be useful to him. And he did, because I’m special to him.”

“You’re crazy,” Anna spat out in disgust at what she was hearing.

“And you’re nothing. To him, or me. Or anyone,” you retorted easily, “You see, in a few weeks, you’ll be nothing but a faint memory. And in a few months, you’ll be nothing but another number. And for me, you’ll be nothing but that beautiful bracelet you wore when he abducted you.”

This time, Anna had nothing more to say, it seemed, as she slumped back in defeat. You took the chance to finally pick your bag up again and go back upstairs, locking the door behind you to the sound of faint cries.

When you arrived at yours and Cooper’s house, you already saw his car in the driveway, making you feel excited to see him again. It was tough for you to be apart from him while he was working. 

Inside, you came to a sudden halt, though, seeing Cooper lean against the doorway to the foyer of your house, idly playing with his phone in his hands. You didn’t expect him to wait there for you, but instantly relaxed when you saw that he was smiling at you. It was one of his gentle smiles that always melted your heart, just like it did now.

“Hey, little Lamb,” he greeted you softly.

Feeling your heart flutter, your face brightened as you beamed at Cooper, walking over to him, as he pocketed his phone and loosely wrapped his arms around your waist, looking at you with a pleased expression.

“I heard what you were telling poor Anna there,” he whispered, “I thought I’d check on you two when I got home earlier, seeing as you weren’t here when you should have been.”

Averting your gaze in shame, you apologised, “I know, I’m sorry. I was cleaning the house and lost track of time, so I left later than usual. It won’t happen again.”

Cooper clicked his tongue quietly, using his left hand to gently take hold of your jaw and move your head to make you look back up at him. “Hey, it’s all right. I was just worried that something might’ve happened,” he told you soothingly.

There was nothing in the world that could compare to the feeling you got when Cooper showed that you were important to him. 

“You did a good job, you know?” Cooper continued, then, still speaking in a soft, gravelly tone, “She was out of line with all those cruel things she said to you. And trust me, I’ll make her pay for it very soon. I promise. I’m proud of you for handling it the way you did.”

Those words had such an instantaneous effect on you, causing you to feel hot all over, warm and fuzzy inside your chest as your heart seemed to swell with pride. 

“Thank you,” you giggled happily, unable to contain your giddiness. 

Praise such as this wasn’t something you were used to, and Cooper wouldn’t have said it if he hadn’t meant every word. You felt like you were on top of the world.

Cooper’s fingers were still gently wrapped around your jaw, now moving upward, his fingertips grazed your lips and cheeks before his palm settled and cupped your face. His dark eyes met yours. His gaze was soft, yet piercing nonetheless, and it took your breath away, just like it always did. There was no escape from his all-consuming presence. It was dominating your every sense.

Leaning his head further down, Cooper’s lips hovered above yours. “I think you’ve earned yourself a reward,” he whispered, brushing his lips against yours as he spoke.

You couldn’t do anything but make an excited sound in the back of your throat, while your hands were tightly gripping his shirt, where you held onto him on his chest, right below his shoulders. 

Amused, Cooper breathed out a small chuckle before pressing his mouth against yours in a lovingly heated kiss that conveyed just what kind of reward he had in mind for you. You instantly melted into the kiss, reciprocating it as best as you could while your entire body and mind felt like they were on fire. Even after a couple of years of this, it never ceased to amaze and overwhelm you. 

And when you later lay in bed, bodies intertwined and in their most natural states, your finger was lazily and gently tracing the lines of the tattoo on Cooper’s right wrist. The tattoo that was a reminder, a representation of you, for him. You couldn’t suppress the smile when the happiness you associated with that rushed over you.  

“My special little Lamb,” Cooper whispered, watching your dreamy face as you kept tracing along the tattoo, and pressed another kiss to your temple and then your cheek and your lips again. This time, it was a gentle show of affection, which you happily accepted, soaking up every moment of it.

Soon, Anna would realise just how wrong she had been about you and Cooper.

[jbaileyfansite]

The finale of Fellow Travelersis now streaming, ahead of its Sunday night airing on Showtime—a conclusion to one of the year’s best series that is gorgeous, devastating, and cathartic in equal measure.

The story of a tortured-yet-beautiful romance between two men over decades, the show waltzed through those emotions throughout the entire season, as Matt Bomer’s Hawk and Jonathan Bailey’s Tim weather the historical circumstances that prevented their deserved happily ever after. Bomer’s nuanced performance as an infatuated, conflicted man is the best work of his career, and, in the emotion-packed finale, Bailey is a revelation. Across multiple timelines, he showcases how intertwined grit, defiance, and joy in spite of darkness are for gay men determined to make their lives mean something in a world that actively works to strip them of dignity.

The series spans Hawk and Tim’s meet-cute during the Lavender Scare and McCarthyism-led panic of the 1950s through the AIDS crisis of the 1980s. The final scene, set at the unveiling of the AIDS Memorial Quilt at the National Mall in D.C. that might as well have been an anvil plummeting straight onto my heart, it shattered me so much.

There are two images in the final episode that have seared into my brain since I first watched, tableaus charting the arc of a doomed, yet life-changing relationship. First is Hawk and Tim slow dancing naked in the privacy of a secret apartment and, later, Tim’s head nestled on Hawk’s chest as they take a post-coital nap—moments of bliss stolen in a society that won’t allow them that pleasure. Then there’s a mirror of that position decades later, when Hawk climbs into Tim’s hospital bed to cradle him, as Tim struggles through a rough night during his last days battling AIDS.

The power of those moments is amplified by Bailey’s performance. In the earlier timeline, his wide, giddy eyes betray a man fully aware of his good fortune to be so madly in love, cognizant of how precarious and fleeting the feeling could be and determined to live in the splendor of it. Later, as he faces death, his resignation to fate is not one of defeat, but a catalyst for clarity.

So much of his life was impacted—some might say ruined—by his inability to move on from his connection to Hawk. But in a sensational monologue delivered after Hawk questions how much pain he’s caused Tim, Tim corrects the narrative: “I spent most of my life waiting for God to love me. And then I realized the only thing that matters is that I loved God. It’s the same with you. I’ve never loved anyone but you. You were my great, consuming love. Most people don’t get one of those. I do. I have no regrets.”

Bailey’s performance of this monologue stunned me. It is spoken with such certainty, an outpouring of a lifetime of emotion funneled into a searing, pointed declaration. He’s speaking to not only a complicated romance with his lover, but also on behalf of generations of gay men whose great loves were colored and, it often seemed, marred by the misfortune of the times in which they were kindled. That’s the revelation that Tim, through Bailey’s delivery, speaks to: There’s no misfortune when it comes to love; we may now be aware of the hideousness with which society treated (and still treats) the gay community, but how dare we assume that the love found was any kind of misfortune.

I’ll be thinking about this episode, that monologue, and Bailey’s performance for a long time. Do yourself a favor and watch it.

Source

[minniepetals]

cry me a river | the cruel and the fool

— summary: nothing hurts more than trying your absolute best and still not being good enough

— pairing: bts x reader

— genre: angst, mafia!au

— word count: 8.8k

— warnings: a brief moment y/n almost has her ptsd triggered — brief mention of leehyun, toxic thoughts/acts [[ to anyone who might be afraid/cautious of reading this chapter, to be honest i don't think this chapter is too bad as compared to a few previous chapters, namjoon doesn't actively trigger y/n's ptsd of leehyun, but if you don't wish to read this chapter (or any other chapters for reasons), you can always send me an ask and i will gladly explain what's going on in hopes of not wanting to miss anything ]]

— PART 15 / previous post / masterpost

“Y/N?”

You look up with a startle, taking in a sharp intake that forces you to flinch, and when you turn around at the familiar calling of your name, you have to take a moment to compose yourself so that you don’t instinctively take a step back at the man before you.

Mingyu stands steady on his feet and you almost crumble at the fact that he called you Y/N and not boss because boss means you’re okay, you’re fine, you can take everything that’s coming at you, you can control it, control everything. But Y/N means you can’t. You’re not fine, you’re falling into disorder and you’re ruining yourself.

Y/N means you’re losing control. 

As if he understands just how much the effect of his word has caused you, Mingyu steps up from where he stood, keeping a good distance between the two of you and you hate the fact that today he hesitates to come to you.

There are days when you feel guilty for scaring them, for forcing them to abide by all that you are, to accommodate your needs, and forcing their way of thinking to quickly act just because you’re weak and you can’t do anything by yourself. There are days when you hate yourself more than you do on normal days, when you can see it in your Reapers’ expressions just how concerned they are.

They never look at you as if you are a monster, as if you’re some insignificant robot built up by your father in the same way everyone looks at you. They don’t look at you as if you’re just a puppet who holds no feelings, as if anyone and everyone can do anything and everything to you and you won’t hurt.

They know you hurt.

They know you hurt more than anyone.

Even in this room in a building filled with people who only want what’s best for you, you feel yourself trembling as you hold everything in, unable to scream, to cry for help, because all your life you’ve been shown that calling out gives you nothing in return. Even as you know your Reapers would never do such a thing to you, even as you know more than anyone that they’d come to you in a split second were you to utter the simple whisper of “help,” you don’t dare to.

You’re scared.

Scared.

So you tremble as you hold in the cry, falling completely silent, and it breaks you to do so.

“Y/N.” Mingyu calls again with a little more warmth, with a bit more comfort, and filled with a little less anxiety and fear. He calls you softly, a gentle expression plastered on his face when you look up with another startle, the serene on his features shocking you a bit.

He calls your name with care and if you knew how to cry, perhaps you’d be bawling your eyes out like a newborn baby, letting your tears out uncontrollably without a care in the world because you know there will be people who will do all that they can to ease your heart once again.

He calls you with such a tender gentleness it reminds you of the way Mister Butler used to call for you, the way Hoseok called for you.

Mingyu, Mister Butler, and Hoseok, all three different souls built in the same egg; the shell, the egg white, and the yolk.

Mister Butler was your protection, the very one who kept your innocence safe, the very one who held onto your hopes and dreams, keeping them safe in the warmth of his arms. When he left, you lost all of that; your innocence, hopes, and dreams. Years later Hoseok took his place, providing you with love. He gave you the happiness you sought for when you were with Mister Butler, a promise the two of you made with the linking of your pinkies. Mister Butler was the first to break his promise and you broke it soon after, leaving Hoseok who kept your love in the warmth of his arms, losing your love and happiness.

Then came Mingyu walking into the picture. You aren’t sure how it happened, when you began seeking out for the warmth of his arms, but perhaps it was always there, like how it was just meant to be in the same way it was natural to rely on Mister Butler and Hoseok’s warmth.

When he sees you shaking uncontrollably but keeping your silence and peace, Mingyu simply opens his arms as if saying; “It’s okay. You can come to me when you’re scared. I know you’re scared.”

And it reminds you of the way you used to go to Hoseok. He was always the first person you sought out whenever something frightful had shaken your core and you couldn’t handle things by yourself. It was always Hoseok.

When you let yourself go to Mingyu, when he engulfs you in his arms and when you lean into his chest, ears pressed against the resounding beat of his heart, you allow your mind to rest as you let your eyes flutter closed, legs giving in as he holds you on the floor in the middle of the living room.

This is your foundation. Your calm, your control.

This is your Mingyu.

When it finally comes to the day he leaves your life, you wonder how that will be. Will he leave you in the same way Mister Butler left you? Or will you leave him in the same way you left Hoseok? Both of them were out of your control, and both of them you were forced to cut ties with. You wonder if one day Mingyu will grow tired of you or if one day his loyalty will take him too far and he’ll die for you.

You don’t want him to leave. Not now, not ever.

If he leaves, who will you have? He’s your last one, the very person who’s holding onto your breaking pieces so you don’t completely crumble. Mister Butler was your protection, Hoseok was your love, and Mingyu is your foundation.

You don’t want to lose another one, another solace. You don’t want to lose your last one. Because you know after Mingyu, there will be no one left to take care of you in the way the three of them had. If you lose him you think it’ll probably be the last of your control. If you lose your Reapers, you know you won’t ever be able to pick yourself up again.

They can’t save you in the same way you’ve saved them but still, you’ve come to rely on them in more than one way. They’re the only ones keeping you afloat in this deep, deep sea. The only ones keeping your broken pieces together.

“Something’s wrong,” you whisper into the silence after a long, long time. “...I can feel it. There’s another storm coming, Mingyu.” You’re limp against his chest, body unable to keep its strength up just like all those other times when you lay against him. Perhaps you’re hurting him with your weight, perhaps his body’s cramping up in some ways but Mingyu doesn’t dare move. “I don’t want it to come.”

He knows you’re scared, he can feel it.

“What would you like us to do?” He asks, softly, in order to keep you sane, to have control over your situation in just the slightest bit when it feels like everything is falling apart. He lets you regain control for a moment, just like the building foundation that he is.

“...Stay,” you say. “Just…stay.”

And so he remains there for another hour longer to help you breathe a little easier, to help ease your heart, to calm the storm that had risen against your chest. It is only when Yeonjun comes in do you finally separate.

“I have your tea ready, boss,” he says when he walks in.

You’re weak and unable to walk on your own, body barely even able to step away from Mingyu so the two of them help you get off him. Yeonjun takes over the base, becoming the stepping stool that you need. He takes you in his arms while you make no protest, head turned to lay against him like a rag doll who holds no strength left in her body.

And when the young genius takes you out the door on his own, Dasom emerges to have a look into the living room, her face blank as she takes in the figure who remains seated on the floor, eyes looking lost in thoughts.

“Is your heartbeat that calming?” She asks into the silence, breaking Mingyu out of his daze as he looks up with a calm expression. “Boss always calms down the second she hears your heartbeat. Makes me wonder if you ever have moments when you aren’t calm and your anxiety takes precedence.”

He chuckles lightly, a rueful smile curling along his lips. “If I ever let the situations get the best of me, I’d lose my role as her foundation, and then what would happen? Have her suffer even more without being allowed a moment of calm?” He looks at her with furrowed brows, hand balling into a fist. “If I ever allow myself to become weak, I’d hurt her and that’s the one thing we cannot ever allow to happen. Y/N needs her moment of peace. Even if that moment lasts for just one second, if I can’t be her calm among the storm…she’d break.”

“But then what about you?” Dasom asks, her features marked with concern for someone else other than you, and Mingyu realizes it’s probably the first time she’s ever allowing her worries to show so openly.

“It doesn’t matter.” He picks himself off from the floor, averting his gaze as if avoiding his emotions. “As long as I’m alive, I live as her foundation. If I can’t do my job well, there’s no point in any of this.” As he walks by to leave, Mingyu takes a moment to pause beside her, putting a hand on the blade of her shoulder. “Even if we can’t save her, we can still give her room to breathe. If I ever rip that calm away from her…I’d never be able to live with myself.”

He walks away before Dasom can say anything else.

.

.

.

A blue vintage corset with a pretty white skirt that flows all the way to your ankles, accompanied by a matching blazer draped over your shoulders while your hair stays up by a white claw clip, you walk down the hall of the art museum all on your own, paying close attention to every painting presented on the wall at each of your sides.

You keep your eyes keen and open with arms crossed against your chest while your heels click from underneath you. All the guests in the building are common innocents who’re here simply for their own pleasures. You’re here for a different reason.

“..Miss?” 

Your heels stop clicking at the call of the hesitant voice behind you, already falling on your guard, and when you slowly turn around at the person, you find a young man you aren’t too familiar with.

“I apologize, you looked vaguely famil…” Your eyes narrow his way as he trails off as if trying to put an image to his memories, just before something in him clicks when his eyes widen. “Are you..the Reaper?” You keep your expression unreadable, remaining blank, and when it looks like you won’t answer his question, he goes to speak some more. “The scythe earrings,” he says, pointing at the silver dangles on each of your ears, “you..killed my uncle.”

Huh.

“So what? Looking for a chance to kill me now, are you?”

“No!” He quickly says and you fix your gaze towards the side at his sudden outburst, knowing the bystanders have just heard and have been alerted. Upon that, the man clears his throat awkwardly before continuing in a lower tone. “I just meant…I know my uncle was a bad man.”

“...Do you?” As you say that, a familiar figure catches the corner of your eyes and when you go on to focus your attention a bit more on them from behind the stranger’s shoulder, you feel your expression falling when you realize it’s Namjoon and Jimin.

If Namjoon and Jimin are here, the others shouldn’t be too far away. And that only means trouble.

You’re on your feet again, taking a turn opposite of where they are as you continue on your walk.

“It’s best to not associate yourself with me. If you offend me whether on accident or on purpose, I will rid of you without hesitation.”

“W-wait! I just..-” He runs to catch up to your pace, frantic looking. 

You stare at him up and down before sighing. “You’re wasting my time. Seeing as the insignificant man I killed is your uncle, I implore you to heed my advice and not show your face to me ever again. I do hate to be reminded of the memories of the past. They don’t serve well for the future.”

“I apologize, it’s just…I’m glad to have seen you in person, Miss Y/N. The rumors do you no justice, you’re more beautiful than they imply.” You don’t like the smile he shows you. “If you could be so kind, I would love to invite you to—”

“I told you, sir, I do not like to be reminded of the past.” You turn your face from him, walking sped up this time but he remains stubborn.

“I understand.” He doesn’t if he keeps following you insistently. “Being in the same room with you alone is a blessing, I’ll be sure to watch you from afar if fate ever allows us the moment again.” What a creep. “Ah, but what’re you doing here at an art museum? Are you here for your next target? Who is it?”

“It’ll be you if you don’t stop bothering me.”

He laughs as if you just said a joke. “My extended family would certainly have a heart attack if that were to happen, being as you’ve already gone and rid of my uncle. But truth be told, I’d be lucky to have the new Reaper kill me by her own hands.”

“Would you?”

“Of course! To have your beautiful hands—”

You stop in track all of a sudden, putting a hand up to have him freeze in place when he tries to reach out for you. “Sir.” Your voice drops deep, a frosty chill walking in as you stare him down from the side eyes. “If you really don’t wish to lose your life over some petty incident, I advise you to leave me now before you really make me angry. I’d hate making a scene in front of innocents but if you lay even the slightest touch on me, I’d do the same I did to your uncle and perhaps even worst.”

“...” He falls silent at your words and just as you think he’s finally done and realize the truth behind your threat, he speaks again as you’re about to walk away. “Who knew such a lady with refined beauty could get angry so easily.” He scoffs lightly, mocking you as his mask falls away. “You may be beautiful but your heart needs to be worked on. I bet my uncle didn’t even do much to have him face your wrath.”

“What your uncle did to me is none of your concern.”

“You must have killed your father for the same purpose, huh? I heard he cared for you quite deeply yet you returned his kindness by killing him. What a spoiled little brat.”

They don’t know your story and they never will, but that doesn’t phase you one bit because everyone is just like him; dumb and stupid, always believing the other side of the story without truly looking into things. Not that you care, they can think however they’d like, it doesn’t concern you.

You’re still going to kill the ones that did you wrong.

You ignore the man’s comment to keep walking, not wanting to stop this time no matter what but when you feel his presence once more with the way he comes at you at an alarming pace, you grab the white silk that was wrapped around your waist and played as a belt for your skirt, untangling the decorated bow and in a swift manner, you wrap the silk a few times around the man’s wrists, forcing it behind him in a rushed and assertive act that has him quick to scream at the pain.

You can feel a light tremble in your hands, the PTSD from Leehyun still here, so you make sure you aren’t touching him in the slightest, and when his scream alarms the people around you, you keep your cool as you stare down at the man, strengthening the tight grip of the silk with no mercy.

“You’re all the same. This is why I hate men.”

“Y/N?”

You sigh inwardly to yourself upon attracting the attention of Namjoon and Jimin and clench your jaw at the onlookers showing concern and worry. 

“Are you alright ma’am?”

“Was he bothering you?”

“Should we call security?”

You look up at the civilians who watches on with brows knitted on their features, your keen eyes taking in each of their expression. Calling in security now will only anger this man further and you can’t have their faces falling recognizable to him in case he holds any grudges. You know not to involve people and ruin their lives when they haven’t done anything wrong to you but the sight of the man who dared to try to lay a finger on you even after you’ve warned him otherwise makes you tremble with uncontrolled anger.

You told him you hate to be reminded of the past but he ignored your words and now you’re left here remembering Hwang Leehyun and his despicable touches that suddenly surfaces as if all they’ve been doing nothing but hiding under your skin, waiting to be revealed each time your memories resurfaces.

You hate it, you hate it, you hate it.

You want to kill this man.

“I’ll deal with him.” Namjoon’s commanding voice brings you back to the present for a second, just a split second. But still that second saves you for a moment because that second allows you to fall distracted, eyes flicking over to him sharply, and you watch when Yoongi and Jungkook, who you didn’t realize had also come over, take the man off you.

It saves you from having to be cautious in letting him touch you, allows you to breathe, to stand back up straight, to hide your hands behind your back.

That’s right. You’re calm, you’re calm. Nothing fazes you, you’re fine, everything’s fine. He didn’t touch you, he didn’t even graze you in the slightest. You’re fine and no one has to get hurt.

No one has to die. Not today.

You turn towards the crowd, feigning a small smile as you lower your head slightly at them. “Thank you for your concern, please return to your business. I apologize for the public disturbance.”

And without waiting for them to make their moves, you turn, following Namjoon away from the scene.

It’s silent for the longest time until you’re brought to the back of the building where it’s secluded and the sun is already setting. Yoongi and Jungkook keeps the man held against his will with Jimin following along, and Namjoon looks at you for a moment before he addresses you.

You should have known he’d visit this art museum. Namjoon enjoys looking at art during his pastimes, especially during times when things are rougher and he needs his moments of peace.

“How would you like to deal with him?” He asks, noting at the way you keep your hands held behind your back while keeping your distance. It seems you’re still cautious of being touched.

You look away from the man who had offended you, brows knitted as you stare at the horizon where the sun is slowly setting. “It’s fine,” you say, “looking at him a moment longer will only cause my blood to boil.”

You’re still dealing with the aftermath of your last endeavors, they can tell, that’s why Namjoon remained silent about the profound revelation he found. Although he may be angry with questions waiting to be demanded out of you, he kept his emotions at bay after seeing it physically in front of him just how hard the last event had hit you.

Still, he can feel his patience quickly slipping away now that he’s bathed in your presence. You still seem weak, not your usual aloof self who was always so great at hiding your true self slip past anyone, and although others may not realize it, he’s able to see through you in some of the slightest ways, letting him know that you’ve indeed taken a great hit from Leehyun.

His body may have burned away but the memories will always remain.

Namjoon understands how that feels.

“Leave him be then,” he tells the two before looking at you again, “I’m sure you’ll deal with him if you’d like in the future. I won’t interfere.”

You give him a nod and the three of them leaves with the man in toll, leaving you alone with Namjoon.

Silence fills once more, leaving you with the same uncomfortable feeling you’ve felt for the past few days. A storm is brewing and slowly but surely, you can feel the match beginning to ignite. Perhaps he has something to say to you, perhaps he realized something, or perhaps it’s something else, but either way you see that Namjoon isn’t speaking up even though it looks like he’s hiding something from you.

You turn on your heels, not wanting to stall this moment any longer. If he wishes to say something, whether that’s about what happened at the Hwang’s manor or something else, he can say it at another time. Right now you just want to return home and take your anger out in the training field.

“Jungwon.” You pause in your steps upon the name that slips from Namjoon’s mouth, his first word taking you by unexpected surprise. “He’s dead…isn’t he?”

There’s a hint of wrath in his voice, a hint of fear, a hint of unease and terror, accompanied by anxious thoughts that run through his mind and as you stand there still under the lights that have flickered on upon the sun now dimming the city, you don’t give him an answer.

But that in itself is an answer and you hear him scoff.

It’s filled with disbelief and disappointment.

“To think you’d lie to me and use someone I love against me.”

You turn around at those words, making sure to keep a level head. Despite the fact that he found out the truth about your schemes, you always told yourself to be prepared for moments like this. Namjoon would have found out one way or another. After all, he wanted the truth on where his brother was, and eventually, you would have either had to relay to him the news of his death or he’d find out on his own.

You just never expected he’d find out this soon. You thought you had more time.

“I didn’t lie to you, Namjoon, I just withheld the truth.”

Namjoon laughs at those words, the amusement dead and filled with nothing but pure ire. “And what? You think that’s any better? You know just how much my brother means to me.” You see the other three returning from where you stand, see the way the rest of them have come along as well and it almost feels as if you’re cornered. You can’t run, you have to face Namjoon’s wrath and their disappointment but you expected this. You expected to be hated by them and you prepared yourself not to care, to let them go when the time came. They left you, you’re free to leave them in the dust as well. “You were my wife and I trusted you with my vulnerability. I shared a part of myself I’d never share with anyone else and this is how you’re going to act in turn? By using information on my brother against me?”

You know what you’re about to say is toxic, that you shouldn’t turn this against him but after what happened with Leehyun, you can only feel your patience and mask slipping away as the day passes so you don’t care to hold your tongue this time.

“I could say the same thing about you, Namjoon. I trusted you with my heart and guess what happened in the end? You took it right out, ripped it to shreds, and threw it onto the ground without a care in the world.” The new scars on your body, the gash on your leg, they all still hurt in many ways and you hate the fact that they saw you in that vulnerable state.

“This is my brother we’re talking about.”

“And what? My feelings never meant anything to you?” You ask, challenging him. “You have to admit what you did to me was wrong and even after all these years, you’re acting as if nothing happened. I hate it most when people feign ignorance and pretend all is well without wanting to face the horrid part of things.” You take a sharp look at the others, making sure they know as well. “From the very beginning, I was on the losing end. I was made a pawn in the game you took part in, all just for the sake of power, and then you proceeded to toss me aside once you no longer needed me. Isn’t it only fair I do the same thing to you?”

“That doesn’t make it right for you to have used my brother against me,” he retorts with the same fire burning in your eyes. “You acted as if the butler who served you was someone you cared deeply for but in the end, everyone’s just a pawn for you to use at your disposal, huh?”

“Then you and I are similar in that aspect. You are not innocent, Kim Namjoon. Did you really think after all these years I’d remain that same soft-hearted girl I was then?” You chuckle bitterly at the thought. “She would never forgive the person that I am now but she’s gone, Namjoon, she’s dead, so she cannot stop me from using you in the way I wish to. If I want to use your brother against you, I’ll use your brother against you. The butler I grew up with was a butler who served me well, but he was foolish thinking he could have gotten out of that manor safe and secure without troubles along the way. Your father was the one who led him to the Reaper’s manor but when his mission grew completed, he hesitated upon leaving. Do you wanna know why?” You stare him dead in the eyes without blinking in the slightest way.

“It was because of me,” you say, unfaltering. “He stayed because of me. And guess what happened in the end? I killed him.”

“This is all your fault,” your father whispers into your ear. “He’s dead because of you.”

The trembling and terrified little girl then no longer shakes when she looks into the eyes of Kim Namjoon, the little brother of the very first man who ever loved you and the very first man whom you loved gently in turn.

Mister Butler was a man who always smiled your way no matter how rough the circumstances were. He was always there for you, the only one who held his arms out when you stood on the side, holding your tears in upon the rejection from your mother and father, the only one who allowed you to cry without scolding you, without scoffing or walking away. He was the only man who cared for you in the Reaper’s manor, providing you the fatherly protection you always needed from the very beginning.

He was your father, your brother, your friend, and the companion you sought the existence of. He was your soulmate, the very first one.

And when he left, your world fell apart. 

Nothing was right from the very beginning but he made it seem as if that in itself was okay because he was there and whenever he was there, everything turned out to be okay at the end of the day. You could go to your mother, get rejected and ridiculed, but turn to your butler and he’d sing you praises after praises. You could look up at your father with those wide and innocent eyes, the eyes of a child seeking the slightest attention they could receive from a busy and distant father, and even after he ignored you for the hundredth time, you could turn to your butler and he’d give you the attention you crave a hundred times more.

“I hope Mister finds your happiness someday.”

“And I hope the miss finds her happiness as well.”

You both broke your promise; his was forcibly ripped away from him and you no longer seek to find the pleasures in life.

You see the way Namjoon’s brows furrow slightly more, his chin protruding in the way it does when he’s angry, but you can tell there’s some suspicion leveled your way upon your words so you decide to drive him more mad.

He can hate you all he wants. You want him to hate you. He has to hate you and see you as nothing but a cruel and selfish monster.

You’re a monster.

“The day of the incident, I watched him with my very own eyes as life slipped away from him. His eyes were lifeless, dead, a corpse. In the same way I killed my mother and father, I killed your brother as well. The man who cared so much for me died at my very own hands. His death was all..my...fault.”

You drag out the words, speaking the last remaining three words carefully and slowly as if to try and purposely antagonize him.

It works.

Because you see the way Namjoon’s eyes brighten with red, how it shakes, how his lips tremble slightly, how it takes him a moment before he tries to get the words out of his throat. “...What?”

Hoseok watches you with brows slightly knitted in between, his mouth open but unable to utter anything out and you hate the way he looks disappointed, as if everything that he’s ever known about you is slowly slipping away and the mirror has slowly but surely shattered.

It’s okay though, you want this. You want him to hate you, to finally show anger and disappointment and think all ill thoughts of you with no rainbows or sunshine left in between. If Hoseok thinks nothing but love and still cares for the person he let slip from his grasp, it will only hurt the two of you in the end. 

Because you are incapable of loving, you have to make him hate you.

And if that means making him hate you through your hatred for Namjoon, then you’ll use that to your advantage. No one knows of Mister Butler anyways, and the ones who did have all died and left to burn to tell your tales. No one knows how much you loved that man, how you cried so hard the day your father killed him mercilessly. Though you may not remember clearly of the incident itself, you will never forget how much it hurt losing him and in turn, being blamed and made the villain of his story when all you ever wanted was nothing but his happiness.

Father turned everything onto you. Everything was your fault. You killed your beloved butler who showed nothing but love and care towards you. You were the fool who killed your father, your brother, your friend, your companion, and your soulmate.

You killed him.

You killed him.

Namjoon lunges after you in a blind fits of anger and as you keep your emotions well hidden in the depth of your heart, you hate the way this reminds you of those days all those years ago when Namjoon grew to hate you and the rest of your lovers did nothing but watch in turn.

Here you are reliving those same memories.

But rather than letting him take you down the way you did those years ago, this time you fight back. This time you lunge right back at him, not caring for anything else in this world even as something in the back of your mind tells you that you can’t win.

You can never win against Namjoon because at the end of the day, he will always be stronger than you. No matter how much strength you’ve gained through your years of torture, no matter how hard you’ve trained, how great your masters were, your strength can never exceed that of his.

“How dare you?!”

If Namjoon wasn’t blinded by rage, he’d use his brain just like any other day and realize how could a small little girl just nine years old possibly kill a man who held the strength and power of a mafia heir behind him? If he wasn’t so blinded by emotions, he’d remember the girl you used to be; afraid of guns and violence and always hidden behind the safety and comfort of her loved ones. How could a little girl like that, whether loved by her people or not, possibly rid of another man?

How could she? When all she wanted was nothing but happiness for the people that gave her nothing but kindness?

“Namjoon stop.” Hoseok. Poor Hoseok who still has the brains to try and rationalize things tries to meditate between two opposing opponents.

“Stop?” Namjoon scoffs. “She killed my brother!”

That’s right, blame me. Hate me. Hate me even more.

“You know what’s funny?” You pick yourself up from the ground, disregarding the fact that your white skirt now has stains on it as you reach for the knife hidden under it. “That I still haven’t gotten an explanation as to what happened all those years ago. Do you really think I’ll keep being patient without ever demanding an answer out of you?”

“Why the hell did you kill my brother? What did Jungwon ever do to you?” He doesn’t look for an answer before forcing you to dodge to the side with his blade grazing the skin of your arm. No matter how quick you are, you’re still slower than Namjoon. “That’s right, Jungwon didn’t do anything, did he? He’s not the type to hurt a little girl.” The more he pushes forward, the less space you have as you dodge back with your feet leaping behind at each step he forces you to take. “Did you have your people go after him? Force him to submit to you? Did you go to your father and make up stories in order to get rid of my brother?”

You manage to land a punch on his face upon those words, feeling your own anger building up. “I told you my truth. Why don’t you tell me yours, Namjoon? Surely I deserve it, right? After putting up with being your pawn, after letting you use me on that mission where you forced me to submit to a disgusting creep. Did you ever actually love me, Namjoon? Or was that all just a game you and the rest of your boys decided to play in in order to see how long things would last?”

“Y/N—”

“I didn’t deserve that.” Your eyes burn with red, baring your teeth as you glare at the rest of them. “We live in a world where emotions and weaknesses are not welcomed yet I trusted you with my heart. I gave you my soul. I listened to your problems, allowed you to lean on me, held you, loved you, did all that I could because I trusted in your love, and in turn, I got treated like nothing but a pawn in that little game you decided to play.” 

You push Namjoon against his chest upon his silence. “I put up with so much. Allowed you to degrade me, belittled me, let you say all those cruel things to me while being that silent good little girl you always cared for. That night I ripped my ring out, I even begged on my knees for you.”

“..What?” Hoseok whispers softly, words you’re unable to be heard because you’re focused on everyone else but him. He stands there in utter silence, listening to you and taking each and everything to heart.

You got on your knees and begged for them?

They…forced you to that point?

Them?

Hoseok turns to look at the rest of them with disbelief, as if trying to find someone in order to tell him that you’re wrong, that they didn’t force you to that point, and that you’re just spewing out nonsense because you’re angry.

“And you.” But before he can get an answer out of any of them, you’re speaking up too quickly as you point your finger at the rest of the boys. “Do you have any idea how much I second-guessed my position in our relationship? How much I envied the passing times you’ve already spent with one another? How many nights I went to sleep thinking perhaps you could have done better, perhaps I shouldn’t have intervened and got into the arranged marriage? Do you have any idea how many insecurities I built, convincing myself that you could never love me as much as you loved each other? That when it ever came to a point where one or two of you is fighting against me, I’d be on the losing end and no one would take my side because you loved each other more than you loved me?”

You laugh bitterly thinking about those days, feeling foolish for not giving in to those thoughts. “You had the audacity to make me think otherwise when in the end, my greatest nightmare came true.”

Namjoon forces himself in between you and them, pushing you back slightly on the shoulder. “Don’t make this about you.”

“What? Don’t make this about me?” You scoff at him with disbelief. “I gave you my truth, Namjoon, don’t you think it’s high time you gave me yours? Unless you plan on keeping me in the dark forever? If you really loved me then, if those three years were real and not a lie you built for me to live in then give me the truth that I deserved all those years ago. You wanted me gone no matter what, right? And I gave you that benefit, I walked away from our marriage because you no longer wanted me there anymore so whatever the hell is the reason behind those cold shoulders of yours, give it to me damn it! I deserve it more than anyone!”

“I stopped loving you!” He shouts against your anger and it catches you off guard for a moment.

You look at him for a second and when a heartbeat passes, you let out a disbelief scoff. “Now was that so hard to say? You sick bastard..!”

You push forth with your knife hung in the air but before you can strike, Seokjin’s right in front of you, forcing your hand away and as you take a moment to watch him with bafflement, you realize the rest of them are all standing by Namjoon’s side, refusing to let you harm him in any way.

Hoseok looks distraught as he remains where he first stood, his head falling to the side, avoiding your gaze, and once again it seems that no matter how hard you tried, you could have never competed against their love for one another. Because even if Hoseok were on your side then, they would have never pushed him away or allowed him to leave in order to stay by your side. They loved him too much to let him go to you.

How selfish.

How…cruel.

“I see.” The strength in your voice weakens as you face the hard truth and although it looks like they want to say something, you don’t let them. “In the end, you really did love each other more than you did me. And I’m not upset at that, why I be? Feelings are something we cannot force no matter how much we try but you should have told me the truth instead of letting me be the fool into believing I could have been enough. I was never enough for you, was I? Or perhaps you were already enough for each other you didn’t need another one to intervene. Perhaps in the beginning you really did love me, or you thought you did. I want to believe in that love because you showed me sides to you you’d never show to anyone else. I want to believe that you were kind and not some cruel, heartless monsters who never cared for me and only used me as your pawns.

“And I’m not hurt because of the past. I’m over it. I’m hurt at the fact that you turned the little girl I was into a lovesick fool and made her believe nothing that she did would ever satisfy you. But she did nothing wrong…did she?” You look at them with your cold expression falling away, the anger still there but lessened as you’re more disappointed and hurt than anything. “I did nothing wrong. I was always enough, but you made me feel otherwise.”

You turn from them, not wanting to look at them any further. And as you walk away, this time even Hoseok doesn’t chase after you.

Perhaps he understands your pain, knows just how much the boys have messed up. And whether he wants to choose you or not is not a choice for him to make because at the end of the day, it will always be the boys.

You will always be Hoseok’s second choice.

.

.

.

“...Som.”

“Boss?” Dasom’s at your side in an instant. You aren’t sure how and where she appeared from but the second you walk in through the doors and uttered her name, she’s right there at your disposal, her eyes widened, a quick display of surprise plastered on her usual expressionless face. “What happened there?” She points at the light graze on your arm, her anger clear. “We aren’t supposed to go for another one until later so who dared to hurt you? Who do I have to—”

You put your hand up, cutting her off immediately just as Yuna appears alongside her. They remain silent in your presence, taking in the way you look. Your once pure white skirt spoils with dirt, blazer hung over your arm for someone to take, eyes falling blankly to the floor with a look of exhaustion clear on your face. There’s a slight furrow in your brows, lips sealed tight, eyes twitching a little.

You’re trembling in the slightest way. It won’t ever be prominent to the normal eyes but your Reapers will never miss anything about you.

Dasom’s quick to rush away on her feet without a word, probably to call Mingyu, while you look around for something, feeling restless, before sitting flat on the floor.

“I hate heels,” you utter, allowing your legs to straighten right before you, and without needing to demand anything out of them, your Reapers know immediately what to do.

Yuna crouches down to take your shoes off while someone else takes your hair clip off to free your hair.

“Boss?” And when Mingyu’s voice is heard, you stare up with an effort, suddenly marked with a memory of the past.

Everyone has left the room upon your silence. Everyone but your right-hand man.

You sit still on the floor of your bedroom, the only place that’s secure in this hellhole. You hate what lies outside the door, hate the halls, the eyes of your father’s men, your father himself, and everything else that exists.

Mingyu tends to the wounds you reveal after ripping your sleeves off, trusting in only him to see them after having gone through a series of feigning your strength before your father. He sent you on another dangerous mission, hoping to kill you.

“Boss?” Mingyu speaks up into the silence, prompting you gently as if he knows there are some things you want to let out.

So you speak. “Mingyu.”

“What is it?” He remains patient upon your hesitation, so you turn to look at him, eyes distant but holding onto your last bit of sanity that still exists.

“I’m tired,” you say, and that’s all he needs to hear to understand.

“Mingyu.”

He crouches down to your level and stares at the cut on your arm before taking a look at your slightly reddened feet from the heels. The silence lingers in the air and so he looks up at the rest, a signal they’re quick to pick up on and without a word, the Reapers that have gathered around all scatter away.

Once they’re all gone and out of sight without alerting any of your senses, you finally utter out more words.

“I’m tired,” you say, and Mingyu understands.

You’re tired, tired of everything. Tired of the world, of people, of everyone that has hurt you, of being weak and unable to face the truth without trembling, of pretending, of keeping strong, of lying, of being lied to, of your enemies, of your friends, of everyone and everything.

You’re tired.

You want to rest, to stop, to reset, to freeze time, to relive everything and make better decisions just so you don’t have to live through all of this ever again.

From what Mingyu can tell, there’s only one group of people that can make you look this way. There aren’t a lot of people who can go up against you after all, not to mention you had no plans to face anyone annoying today, so the only conclusion he can come up with is that you accidentally met up with Bangtan and something happened.

“He found out Mister Butler died,” you say, already knowing that Mingyu can always speculate what’s going on with you. Mister Butler will always be Mister Butler to you. Not Kim Jungwon, not Namjoon’s brother, not a man belonging to another gang, just Mister Butler. Your butler.

Your kind and gentle butler whom you killed.

“Ah,” is all Mingyu says as he makes himself comfortable on the floor.

You take your knees up to your chest and lay your cheek against them. “I told him I killed him myself.”

He purses his lips. “Why would you lie to him like that?”

“I wanted him to hate me.” You pause. “To blame me.” It’s a simple answer and Mingyu can already tell what’s going on inside your head.

You hate showing any bit of weakness in front of others, especially in front of strangers and in front of people that have wronged you. You hate it when someone shakes your core, when you can’t stand upright, when your falsehood falls and your brave act begins to break, and he knows you must have hated it most that you had to show such a vulnerable side of yourself towards the very ones who drove you back into such a harsh environment, forcing you to survive all on your own.

They unknowingly fed you to the wolves, just to watch in horror as they finally witnessed the consequences of their actions. What makes it worst is that they don’t even know that that was all their doing. You would have been safe staying with Bangtan if they hadn’t forced you to leave.

Lying to Namjoon about killing his brother was your way of distancing yourself from him, because even you could tell something would have changed in your relationship were he to begin acting differently around you after London’s mission.

You hate being weak and you hate it most of the people’s reactions to it.

Some people use that against you while others sympathize and act with more care around you. You and Mingyu both know Namjoon isn’t the type to use your weakness against you so you decided to keep playing the villain and drive him away.

“Do you ever plan on telling him the truth someday?”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because he deserves it,” Mingyu says, “that’s his brother after all. No matter what happened between the two of you, you know he deserves the truth and not the lie you told him of killing his own brother yourself.”

You know.

You know more than anyone Namjoon deserves to hear the truth about what happened all those years ago. You remember the first night he opened up to you about his brother, how broken he looked to believe he failed Jungwon when in reality he had nothing to do with his death. It was all the corrupted fathers that involved themselves in the game of thrones, willing to discard all and anyone away whether they were family or not.

Namjoon’s father was just like yours and you know that if Namjoon were to ever find out the truth about your father, he’d hate himself the most.

They all would.

But you don’t care to give them the truth because they don’t deserve it, none of them do. None except Hoseok but you know that if Hoseok were to ever know everything, he’d beat himself up the most and you don’t deserve to put him through any of that.

Your secrets will remain yours both from Bangtan and the Reapers.

Still, if there’s anything Namjoon deserves, it’s the truth about his brother, just as Mingyu said. It wasn’t fair of you to use his brother against him after all. You were cruel for that but you had to do what you had to do. It was the only way to get through to Namjoon, make him a pawn in this stupid revenge game of yours. He doesn’t deserve the lies you gave him, the truth you withheld from him, but revealing the truth about Mister Butler’s death will also bring your own truth forward and you don’t think you can take that.

“If I tell him the truth about Mister Butler…that means telling my truth.” Mingyu watches you carefully as you speak and because you know even he and Yuna doesn’t know much about your past, your brows knit in distress as you look away from that piercing gaze, holding onto your knees even tighter. “Father killed him,” you utter bitterly as you bite against your lower lip, the effects of the incident still a place you’d rather not return to. “He was the first love I lost.”

You’ve told them about the first man who ever showed you kindness, that because he loved you, he died. You told them about Bangtan, that they failed you and betrayed your trust. The two of them, Mister Butler and Bangtan, are the very reasons why the Reapers are not permitted to love you.

To you, being loved is something out of the book. You’re scared of being loved because in the end, they either die or betray you. That is why you cannot see how deeply the Reaper’s loyalty lies.

Because you refuse to.

Because you’re afraid of it.

Afraid of loving and afraid of being loved.

“If I tell him about Mister Butler..how he died and how he lived…he’ll connect the dots. He’s already doing it right now, I’m sure of it. How can you still blindly think a father actually treated his daughter finely knowing she’s been through some stuff? Namjoon’s not stupid, none of them are. It was easy to live in the lie back then but now that I’m deliberately going after people, how can anyone not begin to question things?”

So you’ve pushed them away not only because you didn’t want them to treat you any differently but also because you’re pushing them away from the truth they may be hoping to find out.

“Not that it matters much anymore anyways.” You press your forehead upon your knees, hiding your face completely. “I told him I killed his brother and he told me he stopped loving me. In the end, the old me who was once the center of their attention fell away and was never enough for them. What a pitiful little girl,” you scoff lightly, bitter at the fact you’ve just uttered. “Nothing hurts more than trying your absolute best and still not being good enough. She was so..dumb. But maybe she knew the truth all along. Maybe she just didn’t want to believe in it, deluding herself into lies after lies, trying to keep up the fantasy, living in a house of cards that had been inevitable to fall from the very beginning. 

“She was a fool. An utter, pitiful fool.”

[juicycoutureheaux]

Fixer Upper

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Hey y'all. Here's Chapter 2 of my Sheriff!Leon Kennedy AU. Just a couple of notes, this chapter does have some TW. Domestic violence and Alcohol are mentioned in this chapter. If those are active triggers for you and still want to read, PM me and I'll be glad to summarize for you. Seriously! Also I gave Patrick a last name because he literally DOES NOT HAVE ONE. LOL Anyway this is kind of slowburn-y and this may be more than three chapter but not too many. I might extend to four. Anyways this fic was inspired by @angelscoda and I strongly recommend that if you haven't discovered her page, check her works out! Also, I churned out this Chapter and it hasn't been edited very well, but I did not wanna keep yall waiting. Also if you or anyone you know is affected by domestic violence call 800-799-7233 or text 'START' to 88788. You are not alone, your family and friends love you no matter what situation you may be in or what your abuser says. Love is patient and Love is kind.

You went to bed with a strange feeling. Instead of thinking of your sweetheart, Patrick, you were enamored with the thought of your new boss, Sheriff Kennedy. 

He was so kind and unpretentious, it seemed so easy to be around him. You wondered if he read books or looked at the stars and wondered what was behind them like you did. 

Y/N shook herself out of her thoughts and drifted off to sleep. 

She dreamt of finding new life on other planets, her parents taking her seriously, and most importantly, she dreamt of Leon. 

You woke with a start, to the sky at the precipice of sunrise. The oranges and purples danced together as the moon made its grand exit into the horizon.

You swiveled around to the side of your twin bed and let the bottoms of your feet touch the smooth hardwood floor. 

You turned off the old fan on your bedside table. The fan had seen better days, however, y/n had taught herself how to make repairs to keep it in working condition. 

Her tinkering had been born out of necessity; however, over time she grew to love being able to make old things efficient again. She wondered if Patrick ever had to repair a fan or anything really. 

She imagined he had enough money to get a new anything, anytime it broke.

You started the morning by combing your hair and brushing your teeth. You splashed cold water on your face to make it seem less irritated. You didn’t want to admit it, but you wanted to look good for Leon, even if he didn’t notice.

You picked out your favorite dress and ironed out all the wrinkles. You looked at yourself in the mirror admiring your reflection. You felt confident enough to head down the stairs to the kitchen table. 

Mary-Anne and Mama were busy fixing breakfast. Mama was fussing over Mary-Anne telling her to sit down and whatnot.

“Mama L/N, I promise I’m fine and your grandchild is just fine!” 

“All that moving, he’s gonna come early!” You heard your mama say.

“You and the rest of the family are so sure Hank & Mary-Anne’s baby is going to be a boy.” You said announcing your presence. 

“Good! Someone else is here, Mary-Anne! Please sit!” Mama said, exasperated.

Mary-Anne, not wanting to put up a fight any longer, sat down.

“Y/N, why don’t you look pretty today? I remember when I could wear dresses like that!” Mary-Anne said, rubbing her belly.

“You mean like six months ago?” You said sarcastically. 

Mary-Anne smiled and your mother rolled her eyes. 

You grabbed an apron not wanting to ruin your dress, and began kneading the dough for the biscuits. 

“I’m afraid I won’t be able to stay too long, mama. I gotta make sure I'm on time to meet my new boss!” You said a little too enthusiastically because your mother whipped her head around to look at you. 

“You know, if you marry Patrick, you won’t have to work anymore, you’ll be busy planning parties and get-togethers for all the married ladies.”

“Mama…” you groaned. 

“I’m just saying Y/N, you would love it, imagine, my daughter, the belle of the social season in Collier!” Her mother sighed. “So don’t ruin it by chasing after some cop!”

“Mama!” You said insulted.

Mary Anne decided to get in between the duo. 

“I think Y/N just wanted to make sure he felt welcome; after all, it is her job.”  She made sure to emphasize the last word. 

Mama’s body relaxed and so did yours. 

With that, you kissed your mama goodbye on the cheek and mouthed a “thank you!” to Mary-Anne. 

You walked out the door shocked, to see your new boss waiting outside leaning up against the side of the patrol car. 

“Hey! Y/N!” He said, smiling with all of his teeth.

You thought your legs were going to turn to jello, he was so handsome.

“W-what are you doing here?” 

“I thought I’d save you the trouble of driving that old truck and risk not having a secretary for the day.” He opened the passenger door. “Wouldn’t want to make me late for my first day would you?”

You smiled a genuine smile. 

You hopped in the car and you made your way down the road. 

The radio was playing Elvis's “Blue Suede Shoes.”

“You like this kind of Music Deputy Kennedy?” You asked genuinely curious. He didn’t strike you as the Elvis type.

“You can call me Leon when it’s just us,” he said, eyes not straying from the road. 

He made you blush, and you sank down in the seat unconsciously.

“But to answer your question,” he looked at you with those sharp baby blues. “I love the King.”

You laughed together like it was the funniest joke ever. 

You were a little disappointed when you arrived at the station. You could have spent the whole day in the car with Leon.

You two entered the building and you went quickly to the break room to start the coffee for the day. 

Leon entered his new office and opened the blinds. Two years ago he would have never imagined a career in law enforcement, let alone a town like Collier’s Sheriff.

Leon was brought out of his thoughts when you walked into the room carrying a fresh cup of coffee.

“Should I get used to this or are you just being nice because its my first day?” 

You looked at him confused.

“I’m not used to someone else doing things like this for me.”

“Well get used to it,” you said happily. “The old boss made me bring him his coffee like clockwork and I had to make it juuuussst riiiiigggghhhttt.” You emphasized.

Leon just nodded.

“So Deputy Kennedy, how do you like your coffee?”

“I can make it myself Y/N, don’t worry about it.”

“I insist! You’re going to be pretty busy, pretty soon.” You said looking into the mug. “I don’t want you to worry about the easiest part of your day.”

Leon smiled and patted you on the shoulder. “I take it black, with just a little bit of sugar, Y/N. Thank you.”

You smiled and felt your cheeks get a bit rosy. You fixed his coffee and set it on his desk.

“Well if you need me, I’ll be outside the door. Just ring me if you need me.” 

He grabbed your hand gently. “Do you mind staying in here just a little bit longer, I’m not ready to start working quite yet.” He smiled a toothy, but nervous smile. 

You held on to his hand and squeezed it in a friendly, assuring manner.

“Of course, Leon.”

He smiled in response.

You looked around the office. It was empty, there were no pictures of his family or any personal effects to the room, save for a framed police academy diploma. 

“They didn’t give you time to set up here?”

“What do you mean Y/N?” 

“The last guy here had tons of pictures and hunting trophies and…” you realized your mistake a little too late. Maybe, Deputy Kennedy didn’t have those things and you had just reminded him of the fact.

Leon smiled a sad smile, “Well maybe while I’m here, I’ll be able to fill this room with all those things.”

“Leon, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to…” 

“It’s okay, you’re honest. I like that about you.”

You smiled and heat spread across your cheeks.

“I don’t have any living family members, I grew up in a group home.”

You felt so embarrassed. How could you just interrogate him like that?

The blowing of the A/C unit emphasized the silence. It felt like your body was on autopilot when you went up to him to pat him on the shoulder. 

“I’m so sorry, Leon, I hope you can find your chosen family here.” 

“That's really nice of you, Y/N. I hope I do too.”

You quickly took your arm off of his bicep, realizing you were touching your boss in a more than intimate way. You didn’t want to be known as “that” type of girl.

You quickly mumbled “Gotta get back to work,” or something along those lines, and scuttled away.

Leon just kicked his boots and sat down behind his desk. He couldn’t quite figure it out, was she flirting with him or was she genuinely kind? He hated to admit it, but he was used to women throwing themselves at him. They’d be good for a night or two, but they never seemed to care to learn more about him than what he could do for them.

Y/N was sweet, but she was young. She probably had never had a real relationship before, her kindness was just surface-deep; it was nothing more.

He decided to go ahead and look over the schedule for the week that Y/N had already prepared for him. 

He could get used to this.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

You were heading to Leigh’s diner to grab lunch for the office. It was actually one of your favorite tasks. You were able to get out of the office and walk around town for a bit. It also helped that you walked past “Gannem’s Appliances” where they always had the news on in the window. 

You would take a moment to look at the goings on in the world, to see what was happening outside of your small fishbowl of a town. 

The announcer was reading hastily from a fresh news bulletin. 

“After 40 years of groundbreaking research, NACA has officially decided to change its name to NASA. The official decision was made late last week, after changing their focus from just flight to space travel of humans and robots.”

You could have fallen right where you stood. Robots? Spaceflight? You were in heaven, you had only daydreamed about working in a high-tech lab with robots; now it was really happening.

You quickly looked at your wristwatch and scuttled to the diner to pick up the order before the men at the office got too hungry and wondered where she was at.

You walked into the bustling diner, thank goodness her order wasn’t quite ready yet. You decided to stay out of the way of the other patrons and sat at an odd chair near the window. You felt almost invisible, but, you were used to it and didn’t mind.

You were stuck in your thoughts until the sound of women gossiping brought you out of your stupor.

“Did you see the new Sheriff? He’s a cutie!” one girl with perfectly coiffed blonde hair asked. 

“Do you think he has a secretary? They almost always marry the secretary!” Another girl with auburn hair giggled.

Y/N recognized the girls. They were girls from her graduating class, they had gone to the same school since kindergarten and they either didn’t seem to recognize her or were ignoring her. You couldn’t decide what was worse.

“Oh he has a secretary all right, it's Y/N. Do you remember her from school?”

The girl with auburn hair just raised her eyebrows in slight confusion.

“Great.” you thought. “They don’t remember.” That stung.

“Well, she wasn’t much of anyone, she’s lucky her daddy “the farmer” got her the job,” she emphasized the farmer part as she lit her cigarette. 

“Ohhh, I remember said the auburn-haired girl. “Isn’t OUR Patrick supposed to be courting her? I heard his mother set him up, guess they’re trying to fix his image. I hear he made a fool out of himself at the University of Georgia last year. His daddy had to call in a LOT of favors from his buddies from the law school.”

“That’s just Patrick, he’ll grow out of it. I feel bad for him, one bad mistake and he has to get married off to the first prude that would take him. I bet Y/N’s mother is just beside herself, all the new social connections and money.”

“My mama told me her mama was a social climber. Always trying to get invited to social events;  well she’ll never belong just like her daughter.”

The girls broke into laughter.

Your face was red from anger and embarrassment.

Of course, your order was ready and the waitress called out your name which made the girls' heads snap and turn around to look at you. You did your best not to make eye contact, as you grabbed the food, but tears were already falling from your eyes.

As you left you could hear them burst out in more malicious laughter. 

You were humiliated, and you just wanted to get back to work.

You were two doors down from the office when you heard a car next to the sidewalk slow to a roll.  You instinctively glanced over and there was Patrick in his fancy car. He was definitely the last person you wanted to see right now. 

“Hey, baby. I missed you.” He slurred as he stumbled out of the car.

You took a minute to look at his car, there were beer bottles littering the back seat. 

“Let’s go for a ride, I’m bored and I want some alone time with my girl.” He grabbed her roughly. 

“Have you been drinking? Why did you drive here? You know it's dangerous! You whispered harshly at him. People were beginning to stare.

“Baby, I just wanted to see you, I’m lonely. You should keep me happy you know, if you’re gonna be my wife,” he was looking at you like a piece of meat. 

You felt sick to your stomach.

“I have to get this back to the office, then I’ll come with you.” You were trying to stall, you didn’t want to make him angry, but you surely didn’t want to get in the car with him.

It didn’t matter. He didn’t like your answer. Patrick was shockingly strong and when he yanked you into him, you both fell over and you yelped. 

People were now watching and whispering. 

You wanted to disappear into dust and wondered if you should have just got in the car, maybe nothing would have happened, and the two of you wouldn’t be out on the sidewalk in the middle of town embarrassing yourselves. 

Patrick yanked you up and raised his hand to hit you, you braced for impact when someone broke you two up.

It was Leon and his face was calm, but she could feel the anger radiating from him.

“Y/N! Do you know this man?” He said calmly but firmly. 

Before you could answer, Patrick yelled at Leon. “I had it handled man, she’s my fiance. We don’t need your services anymore.” He made a move to grab your arm again. Leon moved in between you two.

“Sir, not only are you in violation of a city ordinance of being intoxicated in public, but you are also assaulting your fiance in public, which is a felony charge.” 

Patrick just scoffed. “And what? You’re gonna arrest me? Do you even know who I am?”

Leon stepped closer to Patrick, they were about the same height, but something about Leon’s body language made him seem taller. 

“Yes, Sir you’re under arrest for the assault of my secretary Miss Y/L/N. You have the right to remain silent…” he began cuffing Patrick in broad daylight. 

“Wait a minute! Y/N just tell him we were just fooling around baby.” Patrick pleaded with you.

“Deputy Kennedy please, we’ll handle this in private. Patrick just made a bad mistake that's all.”

You pleaded to Leon, you hoped he would take your side.

“Handle in private? Are we supposed to wait until he kills you Y/N?” He said loudly.

You couldn’t move. This was really happening and everyone was going to blame you for Patrick going to jail. 

Leon picked Patrick up and brought him into the station and locked him up in their little holding cell.

Everyone in the office was dead silent when they saw who Deputy Kennedy was bringing in on the first day. You followed in quickly behind them and everyone glared at you. You ignored the glares and got on the phone to call Senator Armstrong, Patrick’s father. 

Deputy Kennedy refused to let you see your Fiance, stating that she was the victim and a witness to his crime. 

You just sat in your small little cubicle and cried. You cried over how embarrassed you were and how those girls were right, Patrick didn’t really love you. How could he? Who would do that to someone they loved?

The sounds of a man shouting broke the silence of the police department.

“How could you lock this man up? It was a simple lovers' quarrel, they’re both kids!” You heard Senator Armstrong’s baritone voice fill the small station. 

“You either ignore your son’s behavior or are too ignorant to see it.” Leon quipped back.

“Excuse me?” Armstrong sneered. “You better watch it boy or I’ll…”

“Or what Armstrong? I’ll go missing? Don’t go incriminating yourself in the police department now.” Leon said smugly. 

You walked out of your cubicle to see the scene unfolding in front of you. You thought Senator Armstrong was going to have an aneurysm with how red his face was. 

He quickly looked over at you and saw your tear-stained face. “My poor future daughter! Look what you’ve done! You’ve upset her by jailing her fiance right in front of her!”

He wrapped a heavy arm around your shoulders. “ I paid the bail and I'm taking my family home.”

Leon just gestured for the door and said nothing. Senator Armstrong ushered you out, but not before you took one final look back at Leon with fresh tears in your eyes.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

You were sitting in the Armstrongs’ tinted limousine Patrick’s head on your lap. You couldn’t help but stroke his soft hair. He buried his face in the fabric of your dress and groaned.

“I can’t believe that asshole through me into the cell with all those actual criminals. It was miserable, sobering up in that shithole.”

You rolled your eyes instinctively, Leon’s words ringing in your ears still. “What if he did lose his temper and couldn’t stop hitting me?” You shrugged it off. It was just one bad moment, he’ll change.

Your future father in Law just glared daggers into his son. 

When you arrived at your home, you still patted Patrick’s head gently. “I’ll see you later honey.” 

He quickly leaned up and kissed you on the mouth for the first time. It was sloppy and full of want. It wasn’t sweet at all and you felt sick.

You quickly got out of the car and ran into the house. 

When you arrived in the foyer, Hank was waiting for you.

“Is that bastard out there?” He asked angrily.

You looked down at your feet, you thought you’d at least be able to sleep and take a bath before being interrogated about the incident earlier. 

You heard your mom shout from the kitchen. “Is my baby home? Hank you leave your sister alone! She needs to rest.” Your mother hurried in to welcome you.

“Oh sweetie, there’s no need to cry.” She wiped your tears with a cloth she had in her apron. “Daddy and I get into arguments all the time.” 

Hank got even angrier. “You know damn well that was no argument they had, Thomas Wells said that son of a bitch shook her like a ragdoll before Deputy Kennedy got to them.”

Your Mama just rolled her eyes. “Thomas Wells is a known exaggerator, people love talking about people who they’re jealous of. Speaking of Y/N, you’re not going back to that job. It doesn’t look respectable to have the future Mrs. Armstrong working at that office.”

Your mother grabbed your arm gently and took you into the dining room and fixed your dinner. She hadn’t done this since you were a child, she was definitely trying to get on your good side. 

You felt that familiar pit of disappointment and anguish in your stomach. You had realized Mama really did want to be a part of the social class as the Armstrongs. She wanted it so bad she was willing to cover up what Patrick was willing to do to you.

You nibbled on supper and went upstairs to cry, you were exhausted.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

You couldn’t sleep that night. All you could do was replay the day’s events over and over in your mind. 

You also felt extremely violated by Patrick’s lack of respect for you.

When daybreak came, you took a light catnap for an hour or two. You were awoken by your mother shaking you awake. 

“Y/N, sweetie, time to wake up.”

You squinted at her through your dark eyelashes, confused.

“Don’t give that look, Y/N, Suzanne Armstrong called and wanted to take you shopping.”

You lurched up from your bed. “Miss Suzanne...why?” 

“She wants to make sure you look polished for the engagement party of course. The local and state newspapers will be covering it of course.” Your mother said excitedly. “Hopefully she’ll remember your mama too, I could get one of those tweed suits just like the first lady! Wouldn’t that be fun?”

You smiled a sad smile. You wanted to see your mama happy, but was she willing to do the same for you?

You got up and began your morning ritual, you made sure your dress was crisply ironed and you even added a ribbon in your hair to make yourself look a little more stylish.

You waited patiently in the sitting room before seeing the car roll up. Your mother ushered you out the door and into the awaiting town car, driven by a chauffeur of course. He opened the door for you. Inside awaiting looking prim as ever, was Miss Suzanne in a pastel-colored suit. 

“Well look at this little doll,”  she said and kissed your cheeks. “I just can not wait for you to marry my son. You two are just going to give me and your mama the cutest little grandbabies.”

You smiled uncomfortably. 

The town car started to pull away into town and Miss Suzanne wasted no time discussing future plans with you.

“So, I’ve already contacted all the news outlets. The Atlanta Sentinel is sending reporters to this party and even LIFE Magazine!” She squealed excitedly. 

“They love the Cinderella feel of this story, my dear. Everyone loves a great love story.” She composed herself again. “and it is my job as fairy godmother, to make sure you ARE the belle of the ball. There are going to be a lot of eyes and I want to make sure you look perfect.”

She looked you up and down. “We’ll have to do away with this wardrobe,” she motioned with her pointer finger to your homemade dress.

The car was heading out of town, you made a comment about going to the local department store in town. 

Miss Suzanne let out a full-bodied laugh. “My dear, we’re going to Atlanta to shop. You can’t be photographed in some outfit from Belford’s.” 

You just fell silent and looked out the window as Miss Suzanne rambled on about how excited she was, planning a wedding, and how much great press it would be for her husband and Patrick. 

When they finally arrived at the fancy boutique in midtown Atlanta, they were greeted by staff in crisp uniforms waiting outside for their arrival. 

The head designer, or who you assumed was the head designer came blowing through the doors and came to greet your future mother-in-law. 

“My dear, thank you for coming, let me grab your coat.” He grabbed Suzanne’s expensive tweed jacket and hat. He handed it to a dour-looking assistant.

He then acknowledged you. 

“My, my who is this diamond in the rough?”

Suzanne answered for you. “A diamond in the rough indeed. This is my future daughter in Law, Y/N.” 

You didn’t know whether to curtsy or not. You gently bent your knees and answered with a quiet “hello.”

“My goodness, she is just precious! We certainly have our work cut out for us.” The man snickered.

Being brought up in the south, you knew being called precious wasn’t a compliment. 

You sighed as you followed the man and Suzanne into the boutique knowing it was going to be a long day. 

[princess-of-the-corner]

QuirkSwap Soulmate AU

2 major thoughts, device being weird, so submission to be safe (all ideas may be altered to fit, or discarded):

1) My idea with Himiko, was like. In this, she is a year older. She should already have swapped with Hagakure and Sato. However, her parents have had her on Bond Blockers basically since her Quirk CAME IN. In addition to forcing her to suppress her Quirk, essentially starving her, they also are terrified she’ll meet her Soulmate, Quirk Swapping them, and letting everyone know about their “demon child”, so they put her on Bond Blockers. Himiko doesn’t know that’s what they are, of course. She actually thinks it’s “medicine” to help control her “deviant tendencies”. Or, alternately, to help with whatever “condition” she has (ie, BEING STARVED). Himiko basically takes the Bond Blockers until she flees her home, at which point she stops because a) she doesnt have easy access, but also b) she doesn’t actually know what the medication is CALLED, so even if she had access, she wouldn’t know what to look for. Also, as far Himiko is concerned? She doesn’t have a Soulmate. At all. Her 16th birthday came and went (her parents upped her dose that day, just in case) and no swap happened, so …

Now, I headcanon that part of the reason Bond Blockers are seen as so … is insidious the word? It’s probably not, but anyway. Part of the reason it’s seen as a “dangerous” drug, is that if you take it “recklessly”, it can seriously fuck you up. It is possible to “OD” on Bond Blockers - you won’t necessarily die, but it can really screw with your head, like the world’s worst drug trip, even make you physically ill. If you take the meds while you have an active Soulbond, it feels like submerging a part of you in a flash-freeze, it is actively PAINFUL. Which, is probably ironic, cause I see the function of Bond Blockers as “numbing agents”. They are meant to “numb” the bond, so you can’t feel it, hence their use for people with broken or severed bonds. But you have to be careful, cause the wrong dose, or the wrong kind can REALLY hurt somebody.

And one of the big things is you DO NOT give Bond Blockers to someone UNLESS THEY HAVE AN ESTABLISHED BOND TO BLOCK. If The bond is already in place, said bond is usually stronger than the meds. The moment you stop taking them, it snaps right back into place. But if the bond hasn’t quite “formed” yet? The Bond Blockers “numb” the part of you that SHOULD form the bond, making it anywhere from hard to impossible to actually FORM said bond in the first place. You are essentially crippling someone if you do this. I’d see it as a LAW that you cannot give out Bond Blockers to anyone under the age of 16, under threat of outrageous fines, and maybe almost 10-20 years in prison. The only exceptions are medical emergencies, and you’d better hope to hell you can prove your patient has an established Soul Bond that would have caused problems if you hadn’t given them the blockers. If you can’t, whatever happened had better have been life-threatening, and even then, it might not save you from legal, social, and financial ruin.

There’s probably a study, or famous in-universe story, about a kid who got put on Bond Blockers, and even after he went off them, his Soul Bond never kicked in. Like, he was thirty with no bonds. It had a serious psychological effect on him, (similar to how Himiko being starved makes her a little … uh, murdery?) and maybe even gave him long-term health problems. It affected the Soulmate too - his Soulmate was younger, that guy thought he didn’t HAVE a Soulmate, until these two met in person, but even the First Meeting didn’t actually awaken the Bond. The two had to physically TOUCH each other (they shook hands) for the Bond to snap into place. So, even after Himiko stops taking the Blockers, she doesn’t swap with Haga, or Sato (who can probably vaguely feel SOMETHING from Himiko, but like. Nothing actually HELPFUL). Then, during the training camp, Himiko fights Haga or Sato at some point, and physical contact kicks their bond into gear - maybe even drags the other person in too, like, chain reaction, if she doesn’t encounter them both.

I’d imagine, in addition to about 48 hours of NOT feeling like she’s been starved and left on a deserted island, the Bond also is a massive (no better phrase currently) mental boost. Like. Have you ever taken a medication that gives you something you are currently lacking, and man, you feel awesome!? Himiko is having that. For the first time in her life, she isn’t starving, and whatever part of her brain is wired for the Soulmate stuff is getting the right “nutrients” or whatever. Or Like. Chronic pain, suddenly not having it? She’s having that kind of high.

(other thought, if we go with this, and Kurogiri and Tomura are on Bond Blockers. Kurogiri already had bonds, and he’s been through A LOT, so while said Bonds need a bit to recover, they do slowly snap back into place on their own. Tomura stops taking them … and nothing happens, cause I imagine AfO was making him take these as a kiddo, so he’s having the same problem Himiko did, only Tomura has a lot of, like, justified feelings about physical touch. My thoughts are either he bumps into Spinner, and suddenly has scales and a tail, or Momo or Hana, or someone else grabs hold of him to pull him to safety, immediate swap.)

2) I like to imagine Dabi and the rest “jumping ship” isn’t exactly a smooth process. Like, “we desperately need a hospital, or us leaving was pointless cause we’ll all be dead” kind of not-smooth. So I just have the image of Dabi rolling up his house with his very beaten, bloody friends behind him, like. “Heeeeey Fuyumi, you remember when we were like, 8, and we promised we’d help each other if we had to evade the law?” And now the entire Ex-League of Villains is just hiding out at the Todoroki house. Enji and Rei would probably have more problems with this, except, ya know, turns out their son isn’t dead, and part of the reason he isn’t dead is bleeding out on their couch, so. Guess the family just got bigger.

Thoughts on the LoV’s Soulmates:

- Still a big fan of Magne/Jin, so I’m pulling for these two. They meet at the LoV, like officially meet their Soulmate, think this might be a good sign (which … debatable??). Also, I know Magne’s in-universe name is still her birth name, cause she hasn’t really been able to start her physical transition (which, again, anytime I think of her leaving the AfO Employ, that’s the first thing I see her doing), but I was thinking - do you think she just straight up changes her name to Magne? Or is that kept as an alias, and she goes with … idk, Kimika? Jun? Megumi?

-other Jin thought, that info-broker guy? Giran, I think? I’d see him and Jin as possible platonic Soulmates. Like, in canon, Giran (who seems to be aloof and strictly business with everyone) treats Jin like a friend, regularly checking up on him, going out of his way to help the guy out. He even apparently shelled out the cash and resources for Jin’s costume, and outright REFUSED any kind of repayment, which seems wildly out of character for him. And later, when he gets nabbed, Jin’s the first one pushing for them to save Giran - not because he has loads of info on them, which Tomura’s concerned about, but because “[he’s] my best friend!”. And there isn’t even his usual double line right after, saying the opposite. I don’t know how he’d survive the eventual League of Villains possibly becoming the League of Vigilantes or whatever, but I can definitely see a bond there.

-Kurogiri/Oboro, of course, has Aizawa and Mic, I see his bonds kind of … no better phrasing, fading in and out like a bad radio frequency, at least until he either regains more of his memories, or meets the two in person.

-Also a big fan of Spinner/Tomura. Mimi and I dubbed them the GamerGecko ship, and I adore these two awkward losers. If yes, then Spinner is probably feeling BIZARRE around Tomura at first, cause. Tomura’s still taking the blockers, but also, they are like. Right next to each other on the regular, their bond is TRYING, DAMMIT, WILL YOU TWO JUST BUMP SHOULDERS OR SOMETHING-!

-Mr. Compress … hear me out, but I kind of like the idea that Compress just … doesn’t have a Soulmate? Like, either he did, but they died before he ever met them, or (the one I’m thinking of) he simply never had that kind of bond AT ALL, but like. He’s fine, ya know? Ok, I realize he’s a criminal, but I mean. He isn’t super torn up about it. He doesn’t feel “incomplete” or “like half a person” or any of the other ways people describe not having a Soulmate. And it isn’t even “if he DID have one, he’d realize what he’s missing”, it’s more “if you managed to give Compress a Soulmate, he’d be ‘what the hell is this??’ about it”. Like, he’d adjust, but it would be HELLA WEIRD for him, and he would be real uncomfortable until he got used to it, which would take a WHILE. And I’m not even billing him as AroAce, I kind of see Compress as, like, the token cis, straight guy of the group? Like, Soulmate or no, he has romantic relationships. I can even see him settling down and getting married, having kids. He just doesn’t particularly need (or want) a Soulmate for any of this. As Mimi put it, if you swapped the Soulmate AU with CC, only Compress would be exactly the same. Any of this make sense?

(thoughts, feeling, opinions?)

-

OKAY SO

1.) My thoughts on Himiko:

I think I vote for the idea of her being on them but not knowing that’s what they are. Just her parents put them in her daily vitamins and such. And then she’s off them when she runs away. I do want to keep her age being dropped like in CC because it doesn’t change much except when the Soulbond kicks in. Because it’s either first meeting or when the youngest turns 16. So their first meeting would be during the Forest Training Camp Arc, which is after Hagakure and Sato turn 16. So she would’ve gone in knowing at least one of her Soulmates is invisible rather than dealing with it mid-fight.

Anyway!

Re: Saito! With Himiko not knowing she’s on the blockers, she gets a crush on Saito and because he’s either Quirkless or doesn’t have a flashy Quirk she /thinks/ that the instant obsessive crush she gets means that he’s her Soulmate because she’s a bit of a romantic like that. She does find out he’s not, but she still likes him and he likes her but yadda yadda blood frenzy and she nearly kills him and then runs away.

Himiko stops taking the meds after she runs away, but it’s not until the LoV and the discussion with Shigaraki and the same ‘idk what you’re talking about these are totally just normal vitamins’ conversation happens and she realizes what her parents were doing to her and laments the fact that she may have missed her Soulmate.

1.5.) As for the blockers! I wouldn’t say they’re seen as ‘insidious’, but because of both cultural stuff surrounding Soulmates and the fact that there’s evidence that unless the Soulmate is actively causing distress it is healthier to be with the Soulmate in some capacity. The meds themselves are less ‘insidious’ as much as there’s an instant ‘oh you’ve been through some shit’ if you see someone taking them. 

Officially, the blockers are untested on people who have yet to trigger the bond. Because of the age trigger, they really can’t get mass-experiment in people 15 and under. There’s definitely been some people who never triggered the Bond on them, but those are usually adults who /should/ have triggered the Bond.Though also yes like any medication it can be abused and overdosed on. Which is why it’s only prescribed by licensed professionals!

Now, because of the previously mentioned lack of study on it, there’s no real protocol. But they have noticed that the only time the blockers stop working is on the initial First Swap when the Bond kicks in. They still can’t feel the Bond, but it’s now active and forces the Swap. So in the case of the Shigaraki-Momo Bond, they did swap that first 24 hours! Only Momo noticed because Decay is easy to accidentally activate. But she couldn’t pull on the Bond because the blocking meds effect both parties in that regard.

But again there’s little study on it because people are only supposed to be on the meds after the Bond is active. It’s really only cases where like ‘A and B already bonded, A went on the meds, then sometime later awakens a Bond with C’, which is always rare.

So on the three being on the meds and then recovering….. I think their dosages are probably normal despite them being gotten illegally. Kurogiri and Shigaraki’s meds are through Dr. Garaki who might be committing so much medical malpractice but his other identities are licensed to prescribe them so he knows the dosages that would be okay. Himiko’s parents are getting them in a similar way: bribing doctors who know what they’re doing rather than buying them from back alleys and guessing at dosage.

Kurogiri is pretty fine. Once the meds are out of his system, the bond is back in full swing. Pretty much no issues.

Himiko has some issues but not a lot. She’s been off the meds long enough to get them out of her system by the time she runs into her Soulmates. Her end of the bond is a bit quieter and lethargic, but that’s one of the reasons the group shoves her at her Soulmates. Close proximity helps healing.

Shigaraki has like. A Lot. Because he’s still numbed out when the Bond first activates and doesn’t notice it. Then a few months later he gets off the meds and deals with the withdrawl symptoms and such. But the Bond is very quiet on his end. It’s hard for him to grasp because it’s so foreign to him and even quieter than Himiko’s is. And he can’t fix it by proximity. Especially as he has no idea who his Soulmate is or what their Quirk does or how to find them.

2.) Oh yeah there’s some difficulty in jumping ship! In part because they’re a little on the run and also they’re trying to get away from AfO’s influence because he’s not gonna like that and he’s ESPECIALLY not gonna like Shigaraki getting away. Like fuck everyone else that’s the one he’s hunting down to drag back.

re: lodgings…. I have this headcanon that I actually used for CC where Enji has a handful of safehouses planned out and used for Hero Work things. Toya knows where most of them are and how to tell if they’re in use so he just shoves the LoV members in one of those for a bit.

As for coming home that’s a wild ride because like. How many people know Toya’s alive. Because

Hawks finds out when the Soulbond re-activates after Toya wakes up from the coma and they end up swapping for a bit. Hawks told Endeavor because…. honestly he was kinda freaking out and doesn’t have many people he can go to for that sort of thing.

Enji…. didn’t really. Didn’t tell the rest of the family. Because he knows that clearly something is going on ofc. But he doesn’t know what and clearly Toya is still in danger and… if he tells them that Toya is alive only for them to lose him again……

So like. I still have Shoto get kidnapped with Katsuki in CC because AfO thinks yoinking Toya turned out great! (Himiko is already there so no need to yoink her but I might yoink Shinso? Both in general but also for this). And Dabi thinks that Shoto knows because he reuinited with Hawks who admitted that Enji knows but Shoto is like ‘hey what the FUCK????’ when Dabi shows up to let them escape (another reason he’s jumping ship from the League).

So ofc Shoto called Enji out on that when he got home and now Rei, Fuyumi and Natsuo know too but they’ve had like a day before Dabi shows up with Himiko under his arm and is like ‘hey you might notice a safehouse active that’s totally fine ignore that’.

3.) LoV Soulmates!!

Okay yes Magne/Jin! They’re having fun because they’ve had the Soulbond active for years but never ran across their Soulmate until now and are very much riding a honeymoon phase about it.

Kurogiri is having his weirdness in like. Because of the blockers he assumed his Soulmate must be dead as he didn’t feel them. Once he stops the blockers the bond clicks back but it’s. It’s like a lot of things with his other Amnesia qualities. There’s plenty of muscle memory but not a lot of active memory so some things he does on reflex and it feels so familiar but also he has no idea what he’s doing.

I am 100% here for the GamerGecko but I’m also here for 1.) Soulbonds that are platonic and 2.) romances that aren’t Soulmates. So we have the Tomura-Momo Soulbond and idk who Spinner’s is yet but it’s also something platonic but then the gamergecko ship still sails.

Honestly while I can NOT see Mr. Compress as straight, I do agree that I can’t see a Soulmate with him so yeah I’m rolling with him not having one due to them dying before the Bond triggered. But also yeah while there’s people who feel absolutely devestated by the loss or feel like they’re missing out, there’s also plenty of people who cope really well and feel fine! He’s never even considered the blocking meds he just kinda rolls with whatever. Maybe when he was youger he felt more out of place about it, but mostly he’s just fine.

[butyou-callmewhenyourebored]

This Must Be My Dream - Ross MacDonald Part 3

Summary: In which you're missing your boyfriend and it takes absolutely zero convincing from the girls to fly across the world to see your man.

Warnings: Swearing, vulgar language somewhere in the middle as there is the tiniest bit of smut.

Author's Note: This is the last instalment of this little universe of characters. A blurb might be heading your way if I get around to it! Hope you enjoy this final part!

Part One Part Two

3.3K Words

Since you joined them on their UK tour, specifically their Manchester gig where it was very obvious to anyone who laid eyes on the pair of you, that you were completely infatuated with one another. You were 100% head over heels for the 6’4” bassist and he you. Literally from that day on, you couldn’t keep your hands off him. You wanted him all the time not that he minded because he wanted you just as bad.

You’ve never had as much sex in your entire life. It was true when you said that when you finally explored every part of your relationship, that he’d ruin every other man for you. You didn’t want anybody else, you were insatiable when it came to him. I think it was fair to say that you loved the bones off of him.

But you also just loved coming home from work and cooking dinner with him, unwinding and talking about your day. Your life had completely changed and done a full 180 and you couldn’t have been happier for how quick your life turned around. Ross loved slowly invading your space; his favourite jumper over the back of the sofa, a pair of slippers finding their way next to the front door and a bag of his favourite coffee on your kitchen counter. You also loved just sitting with him whilst he practised bass and creating funky little riffs whilst you nursed a glass of wine and just listened to him play. You’d never seen anything hotter than watching him do what he loves; whether that be on stage or in his living room. You were completely obsessed with him.

You also became fast friends with Charli and Carly, the group chat you spoke about when you met them properly was very active as you gossiped about your relationships and the band in general or life problems you were all currently facing. There wasn’t a day that went by where you weren’t talking to those girls. Girls you were very happy were now apart of your life, even though it was only a short time ago, you can’t remember what life was like without those two angels in your life.

Usually Charli was all up for a little juicy goss between you girlfriends but today it was less sex talk and more moaning about how much you missed Ross and how you felt at a loss without knowing he was going to be home for dinner because he was in New York for  SNL with the boys.

Charli

Girl I love you but you need to get laid!!!

You

Ohhh I have absolutely no problem with getting laid babe! 🤷🏽‍♀️

Its the fact the man I’d lay down my life for is on the opposite side of the world.

Carly

Let her be! Haha They’re in the honeymoon stage! 

You guys are so sweet, I happen to know he feels the same about you!

Don’t tell Adam I told you!!!

You

He told Adam that? 🥺

Charli

Girl how do you not know this? He’s so pussy whipped it’s ridiculous! 😂

Carly

He did! Ads is ridiculously happy that Ross has found his person!

You

I’m literally repeating ‘Don’t cry! Don’t cry!’ to myself over and over because I don’t want to cry whilst I’m with Denise and have her ask why I’m crying!

Carly

If you’re missing him that much, why don’t you go and surprise him?!

Charli

That’s an insane idea! I’ll come with you! I’ve got to head over there for an Oscars thing anyway, a couple more days in the US won’t hurt anyone!

Carly

I’ll text Ads, he’ll help with the surprise! X

Charli 

I’d ask G but he’ll probably forget what’s happening!

You

You guys! I love you both so much! 💕

Bitch get your suitcase packed we’re going to NY!!!

As soon as you got off the phone to the girls, you booked your flights and then FaceTimed with Charli as you packed your cases together. Struggling with what to pack, what was weather even like in New York in March anyway? Her only input was to just not pack anything considering “You’re probably not going to be wearing a lot once he sees you anyway!”  Which to be fair to her, it was a very valid point. Charli knew you both all too well.

After settling on a mixture of cute outfits; casual and a few fancier ones, she picked out her favourite lingerie sets that you owned and told you “If you didn’t get dicked down the moment he sees you. I’ll fuck you myself!” Which had you cackling loudly because you absolutely knew that wouldn’t be the case but you appreciated the confidence boost from her nonetheless anyway!

“Don’t let G hear you say that! He’ll start getting ideas!”  You smirked; as Charli giggled before finally hanging up the phone so you could get the rest of your shit together.

When you got into bed that night, you wiggled about in excitement knowing that in less than 24 hours you’ll be able to see your man in flesh made it almost impossible to sleep. Feeling a little frisky you pulled off Ross’ shirt that you had stolen and opened up your camera app and hit record.

Sending it off to your man, as a little incentive as what he was missing and how much you were missing him. You shot him a quick warning text.

Just off to bed, missing you like crazy!

Do NOT under any circumstances open this in front of your band mates!!!

I’ll kill you and trust me I’ll know!

I love you xxx

His response made you squeal in excitement! You couldn’t wait to get your hands on him!

Fuck baby! You’re already killing me!

Sweet dreams! Only a couple more days until I’m home!

I love you too xxx

When you touched down in the New York, you forgot the intricacies of travelling with a well known international pop star and the fact paps were already waiting at the airport to pounce on whatever poor unsuspecting celebrity had touched down in the Big Apple. Taking your suitcases you wheeled them on out of the airport alone and into the awaiting car as you waited for Charli because if the paparazzi ruined your surprise you were going to riot because you really wanted to pull this off.

Switching your phone off do not disturb whilst you were in the car, it buzzed with a text from Adam. 

Hope your flight was okay.

Had the hotel pop your name onto Ross’ room!

Also sent your man on a coffee run so I’ll meet you in the lobby! x

You couldn’t help but beam when you spotted your friend waiting for you in the lobby of the hotel. Rushing to pull him into a tight a hug, you were very grateful for a selfless friend like Adam Hann. “Thank you for doing this. It means so much to me.” You told him, once you got your keycard from the front desk, the three of you finally making your way to the floor the band were staying on.

“Yeah seriously! Thanks so much! She’s been so annoying at home!”

“You’re just as bad! Fuck off!” You shot Charli a glare although it didn’t last long because it sent you both into a fit of giggles.

“George is in his room.”  Adam told her; as he stepped out of the elevator onto their floor, the brunette waved over her shoulder before skipping towards her room. “Ross should be back soon. It wasn’t hard to get him out the hotel! You know what he’s like with his caffeine addiction!” He smiled softly at you with a chuckle.

Hugging him once more, you pushed open the door to Ross’ room, abandoning your suitcase by the bed. His open next to the desk that was housing a kettle and an arrangement of crap you knew he had fished out of his pockets before leaving the hotel earlier. Immediately rushing to the bathroom to freshen up before your reunion with your favourite member of The 1975. When you finally settled on the bed, you already felt at home as his scent had already started lingering on the sheets, making your head spin and you started to feel giddy at the prospect of seeing his face in the next few minutes.

You weren’t on your own for very long; about ten minutes after you got into something a little more comfortable (wink wink) you heard Ross’ deep dulcet northern tone on the other side of the door. “Yeah see you in a bit mate. I’m going to go ring the missus!” You sat up, you leant up on your arms when you heard the click of the door, Matty’s voice briefly ringing through the open space.

“Yeah, spare me the details. Tell the bitch to text me back though!”

The flutter of your heart as you heard your boyfriend’s giggle and then him scold him for calling you bitch overrides your life long friend’s need to constantly call you names, as you rolled your eyes. Your heart beat beginning to race as you heard the door finally shut and Ross’ footsteps get louder as he finally got closer to you. You bit your lip nervously, waiting for him to spot you laid out on the bed.

You probably would have laughed at the confused expression etched across his handsome features as he heard your phone ring within the room and him running into find out the source of the noise, if your heart wasn’t thumping against your chest the moment you clapped eyes on him.

Ross blinked repeatedly as he took in your appearance. The fact you were here in New York in his hotel room and not at home in Manchester. The skin of your lip caught between your teeth as you attempted to keep your naughty thoughts at bay but he just looked too good. Already putting his coffee down, Ross was striding across the hotel room and launching himself across the bed before you could even utter the words “Hi baby!” His large hands holding onto your jaw tightly and kissing the air straight out of your lungs.

“Fuck. Missed you so much.” He managed to mumble in between kissing you senseless.

“Missed you more.”  You moaned; arching into his touch, grabbing at his belt to get him as close as humanly possible.

There was definitely no need to take Charli up on her offer because the little clothing you had on was quickly being ripped off as you reconnected after nearly a week apart. The pornographic moan you let out into the pillows as his large hands squeezed at your arse cheeks, pulling at the flesh as he tried to get deeper was enough to make Ross’ grip on you even tighter and really drive home. Squeezing around him, your whole body lit up in tingles as he made you cum again.

Orgasms were always great but you’d never get over the way Ross made you cum like it was the last thing he’d do every single time. You shuddered at the emptiness as he pulled out, anybody else would be knackered after cumming three times but not you. He made you feel insatiable. You always wanted more. Pushing him on to his back; you climbed back on top, straddling his waist and wasting no time before sliding him back inside you where he belonged.

He always felt bigger, more snug if that was even possible when you were on top but the delirious feeling of dragging your pussy up and down his incredible cock, as you made him like this made your head spin as you rode him faster. Running your hands up his chest and through his chest hair that you loved so much, your hands found home either side of his head so you could lean down to kiss him. 

“Love you so much baby.” You murmured into his mouth. “Could do this forever.”

“Always good to me aren’t you love?” Your boyfriend groaned into your mouth at a particular slow drag.

Pulling you to his chest, arms securely wrapped around your waist to hug you in place, Ross planted his feet into the mattress before pistoning into you so fast all you could do was babble absolutely nonsense into the crook of his neck.

“Come on baby, know you can do it.” He whispered into your ear softly.

“I want it. Want you. Need it baby. Give it to me. I’ve been good.” You managed to get out in between moans and chants of his name, like it was only word you knew.

“You’ve already had me though. Had your mouth round my cock within thirty seconds of seeing me. Always make me cum like that don’t you angel and now you want more?” Ross taunted you, the little shit.

“Always want you. Love you so much.” You pressed your mouth to his in a deep kiss.

“You’ll always have me, I love you so fucking much.”

You didn’t think it was possible for him to go any faster but his words of affirmation and way his big cock was fucking into you, had you cumming hard with a loud moan and triggering Ross’ own orgasm, filling you up so much it made you feel delirious. Rolling off him, you snuggled quickly into his side, pressing a soft kiss to his shoulder, as you listened to his heartbeat beat erratically against your cheek.

It was moments like this that you loved almost as much as the sex, the man was incredible but you also just loved to love upon each other and talk absolute rubbish with one another. You couldn’t believe you had gotten so lucky. Ross thinking the same thing as he tucked a fly away piece of hair behind your ear, made you freeze as you just took in the sight of him, a sweet kiss to your forehead followed before he continued telling his story about the restaurant the boys went to the night before, that he’d love to take you to before you both had to leave each other again.

The two of you were in the midst of telling him about the flight over with Charli when Ross’ phone rang from somewhere in the room. Leaning over to rummage through his trouser pocket, you noticed Matty’s name flashing across the screen as he tried to FaceTime him. Ross accepting the call, settled back against the headboard knowing there was always the prospect Matty’s conversation could be long. No hellos were said however when Matty’s face appeared and your heart swelled when you heard the reasonings behind the unsuspected call.

“I’m not saying the walls are thin. But the walls are fucking thin! And if my best pal hasn’t magically teleported to New York and you’ve fucking hurt her. I’ll fucking hurt you MacDonald! Do you hear me? I don’t care, I’ll find a new bassist! Now who the fuck is in your room?” Matty’s voice getting louder and more erratic as he ranted.

“Matty. Calm down, it’s me.” 

You spoke softly as you took the phone off your boyfriend. The pang in your chest when you saw the glossiness in his eyes at the thought of you being fucked over by his mate had your own welling up as you offered him a soft smile.

“Hi bitch!” Matty whispered; a sigh of relief living his mouth.

“Hey dickhead!” You whispered back a chuckle.

“You’re in New York? What the fuck!”

“I am!” You laughed. “Charli and I both kind of missed Ross and G so we thought we’d surprise them. Got in earlier today.”  You explained to your best mate. “You surprised?!”

“Yeah! Fucking relieved too because I genuinely thought I’d have to kill him! I know you guys are cute but fuck me you two are gross. Like actual rabbits. I’m so happy you’re here, Ross can stop moping about now!” You laughed loudly as your boyfriend reprimanded his mate for calling him out, grumbling out that he didn’t mope which only made you laugh louder. Pressing another kiss to his shoulder, you settled your head against it as you continued conversing with your mutual best mate. 

Mumbling something about a piss; your boyfriend jumped out of bed quickly, leaving you with Matty. As soon as the click of the bathroom door echoed back into the room your facial expression turned serious very quickly, scaring Matty and causing him to frown in confusion as to why you looked terrified all of a sudden.

“Be honest with me now.” You started off in a whisper. “Because I don’t think my soul would be able to take it if what I’m about to ask is true or if I ever find out you’re lying.” Matty truly in his confused era at the sudden change of conversation, his heart broke when he saw your lip quiver. “Why did you say that before? Has he ever given you the impression that he’s cheating on me?”

You choked on your own words as you managed to get out, the mere thought of not being enough for Ross was enough to have you about to sob on the phone to Matty.

“Ohhh fuck no! I didn’t know you were here. I heard the noise. I panicked. He’d never. I promise you. That man is annoyingly in love with you!”  Matty grinned at you as he word vomited out his reassurance. “I’ve tried to tell him that you’re not that great but he won’t have any of it.” Your curly haired mate shrugged nonchalantly, successfully pulling a laugh out of you. “I promise he would never do that to you. He’d marry you in a heartbeat if he could.”

At the prospect of Ross talking to Matty about wanting to marry you was enough to make the sob that was bubbling in your chest before resurface but this time out of happiness. Confirming that you weren’t sad, but it were in fact happy tears because you just loved the handsome brunette so much. He was in the middle of chastising you about the noise level when Ross rejoined you both, slipping in beside you and automatically wrapping his arms around you. “Yeah, can we keep the moaning to a minimum whilst we’re here please because some of us do value our sleep.”

“I can’t promise anything!” You smirked; cackling as he screwed up his face in distaste at your boyfriend’s answer..

It took a lot for your to get embarrassed especially around your dickhead of a best friend but suddenly knowing that he’d heard the two of you, heard Ross making you cum multiple times had the heat rushing to your cheeks before muttering something along the lines of “We’ll try our best” before hanging up the phone, it your turn to groan into your boyfriend’s skin.

The two of you spent the next couple of hours in bed; no clothes, tv on, room service ordered and just content on being in each other’s presence. Lazily running your hands up and down his chest, you pressed equally lazy kisses to his skin, peppering them up his neck and jaw until you captured his lips against your own. Fluttering your eyes open,  you took in his handsome features, reaching up to hold his face in your hands.

“I could do this forever.”  You sighed contently against him.

“You want that?”

“Hmmmm” You hummed in agreement, your eyes fluttering closed as you pressed up against him in order to get closer than you already were.

“Marry me.”

Your eyes shot open at the question. Searching his face for some sort of joking air about the loaded question. You managed to spit out a soft “What?” Shock completely taking over you as you stared at your boyfriend.

“I’m serious. You want to be mine. I want to be yours. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”  He asked again. 

You blinked up at him. “Yes.” 

“Yes?” 

The cock of Ross’ eyebrow; almost challenging your answer, unsure if he heard you right. Nodding frantically, you squealed in delight when he pulled you on top of him in celebration and kissing you so deeply it made you dizzy. You couldn’t help but cry tears of pure happiness as you let him kiss you all over. You were going to marry the love of your life. This crazy handsome, talented, attentive and kind man was going to be your husband and you couldn’t wait!”

[kyojurismo]

emergency request!! me and my ex have a lot of bad history, and she recently tried to enter my life again. I shoved her away again for my safety and sanity but I still feel awful. could I get shinobu, tengen and kyojuro (separate, please) comforting their new romantic partner about a slightly toxic ex? thank you so so so much <3 have a lovely day!!

# kyojuro rengoku, shinobu kocho & tengen uzui

tags : gn!reader, comfort, mention of past relationships and toxic exes, not proofread.

a/n : i’m having a hard time concentrating on writing so i’m sorry this is taking so long and for it to be this short ): oh and don’t ever feel bad for putting yourself first, sending you a big hug anon <3

KYOJURO RENGOKU

first of all, kyojuro would do his best to make you realise that there’s nothing wrong in pushing such people out of your life

“we don’t need toxic people in our lives, there’s no need for you to feel guilty about it.”

he also wants you to distract yourself

so you don��t think about it too much

if your ex keep messing with you he would have a friendly chat with them. something convincing enough so they finally leave you alone

SHINOBU KOCHO

gaslight

joking . . . unless?

ok no, she does her best to make you forget about them once she’s done reminding you that you’re doing what’s best for you

but if said ex keeps showing up and ruining your day, shinobu is ready to take care of them

not so friendly when conversing with them, she has to clear the situation after all

TENGEN UZUI

baby boy organises a whole week of activities to make you forget about your toxic ex

movies, cooking together, painting each other nails, trying different hairstyles, etc.

i picture him as one of the guys in love with gossip so expect him to gossip about anyone so you won’t think about them

“forget about them, darling. and don’t try to feel guilty about shoving them away. self care, always.”

lowkey threaten them if they keep showing up, tengen takes these things seriously

reblogs & comments are super appreciated! thank you for taking your time reading it, i hope you enjoyed it. have a good day / night <3

[thatmooncake]

Greetings

I am on a quest to discover who has the deadliest Moon. So I have some quick questions to ask to determine just how bad he is

Has Moon ever hurt or killed anyone before the virus?

How many people has he hurt or killed after the virus?

Staff

Guests

Children

Does he have any control when he kills? Is he aware of his actions?

Thank you for your time

A worthy quest if ever there was one

If you’re talking about my Moon in particular, he deals in dreamscapes - lures you into a beautiful dream, hooks you in deep as you chase after your greatest desires, conjures moments from your subconscious you might have never seen before but deep down you realise you always wanted …(for those less passionate about particular things in their own lives, the lure of escapism also does the trick nicely) …and before you know it, there you stay. Still alive, but just barely, your life force draining slowly as you unknowingly become a part of the dreamscape he’ll then use to lure others.

He’s aware and in control of what he’s doing, but it’s complicated in that he essentially thinks he’s giving you sweet dreams, just …permanent. I mean, from his perspective, he’s letting you live the life of your dreams, and he does let you leave - it’s just that the lure of the dreamscape tends to perpetually pull people back into its orbit. And it’s not like he himself doesn’t prefer the lure of a good story over the reality of his own obsolescence as a daycare attendant. Nope, he just lives vicariously through those who dream, and he watches as the dreams flicker and burn out, eventually becoming one with the scenery.

Canon Moon? Hm, I think he has a kill count, if not at least having caused severe injuries to people before. Children or adults - whoever was unfortunate enough to fall in his path first after the virus struck. Don’t think he’s fully in control, I think it’s more like an instinct gone wrong kind of deal where his impulses and directives are screaming at him to put the naughty children to bed so they can rest (like he’s supposed to do) but due to the virus he’s mistakenly labeling everyone and everything as “naughty children” virtually non-discriminately and he won’t rest until he’s fulfilled that need to put them to bed. Whether that means something permanent or not.

Moon’s worldview I think is a little skewed and limited by design. He sees blips of daily events when he’s finally active, and he’s been made redundant in his role, and so he longs to fulfil some sort of purpose. I think the virus causes him no end of stress and pain, isolating him from everybody and everything even more than he ever has been before. The Glamrocks at least hunt together. Moon does no such thing. He’s left to his own devices, and even Sun seems to think the best solution would just be for him to NEVER come out for the longest time (he changes his perspective in Ruin but his attempts to keep Moon away before that can’t have helped their relationship any, I think they both spent the longest time not seeing eye to eye and just badly wanting it to be their turn, to the detriment of their collective wellbeing). Poor guy just wants it to be his turn and really really thinks you should be in bed. Maybe you’d get a shot at talking things through with him if he got stuck in the play tunnels like he tends to do in my game. Just try to avoid the grabby Moon claws. I hear they’re laced with sleepy dust.

(Also got an AU where Moon’s confused pseudo-resentment at being no longer wanted and having had people actually want to delete him and leave only Sun runs kind of deeper than that and he’s trying to keep them both safe from perceived threats while simultaneously feeling like Sun’s shadow and almost living his life vicariously through him until he can’t anymore but that’s quite literally another story for another time)

[swords-of-a-soilder]

Bless you for compiling what’s going on with that ex-bird app. It’s been genuinely insightful for me to understand the thoughts of the kinds of people behind those accounts.

That person trying to cancel creators for associating with Forever (and probably advocating for his lore to be excised from the server) saying “but I can’t possibly give up guapoduo, it’s My Hyperfixation” is very telling. Hypocrisy specifically in the context of “separating the art from the artist” isn’t something I’ve seen before, shockingly, so I guess I get to add that to my Social Media Discourse Bingo. (I had an online friend in 2016 who I was terrified to talk about my interests with because I didn’t know what angry punk teenagers on tumblr had deemed “evil and disgusting”, and even SHE stopped listening to some of her favorite metal bands when she learned they were homophobic, and had absolute turmoil when she learned that David Bowie might have allegedly slept with an underage groupie in the 70s. Her constant, unpredictable rage at seemingly random pieces of media was awful for my mental health, but at least she wasn’t a genuine hypocrite.)

Also that tone of “I’ve had good memories here… but I just can’t handle it anymore.” It sounds like someone whose meaningful but soul-crushing work has finally broken them, almost sounding like someone I knew at the frontline worker job I had mid-pandemic who missed her own birthday three years in a row, got repetitive stress injuries, and then got passed over for a promotion that was given to someone who did a fraction of the work. But the “God willing, I’ll never come back” was followed by “I’m 13” …damn, I got whiplash so hard that I astral projected into a universe where things made sense for a second. Because of course kids don’t have a complex view of other countries’ political systems or cultural pressures. Or the nuances of personal change and redemption. Or that sometimes people are just not online for a few days. And of course a 13-year-old doesn’t understand how dumb and petty they look by trying to ruin other peoples’ careers in the name of Activism (tm) while having a fandom portmanteau username.

“I didn’t want it to come to this but… I’m going to delete twitter!” I hope so, but more for their own sake, honestly. I actually have less anger towards most of them now. Many are kids with a false sense of grandiosity that makes them believe they are the ultimate moral authority, but have very little understanding of how messy people or societies can be. I just hope they can learn one day, and look back on who they are now and cringe. (And then many years after that, have the grace to forgive themselves.)

Oof, sorry for the wall of text.

I’m still not over the whole situation with Forever. I miss his energy, and his accent, and his silly bits with Richas that always dragged on too long, and N.I.N.H.O. (and everything it represented), and how different he and Cellbit are but how they understood each other WAY too well, and how he tried to make people who didn’t log onto the server as often still feel welcome and wanted, and how happy he got when anyone non-Brazilian even tried to speak a little bit of Portuguese. (I was learning, but I’ve barely touched it since.) I won’t lie, it’s affected me far more than I thought it would.

I miss Forever. Thank you for your blog being a little space where that’s okay.

I'm honestly a little worried for the kid (s), not in a "oh I just want the best for" fake bs way just a little concerned tbh. I still don't like them but I don't hate them either, they're a kid.

But at the same time I'm worried for their well being, they have like 5,000 follower on their main Twitter and 28 on curious cat (which is apprantly high for that app )

That's 5000 people (teens or not) waiting for you to tell them how to feel that can't be good for their mental state, not for a 13 yr old kid.

Most of their life was spent learning about the world and their still learning, these are the ages where you're worried about the sun blowing up.

You haven't seen how awful the world can be yet, You haven't seen how much worst it could get you haven't learned calculus yet!

To you the world is only these 13 years and you think if you don't act now everything will be over.

I get it, I had that fear too, most people grown into it and realize just how shitty it can get an settle in choosing their own battles and not letting It consume them, because no one had time for that anymore.

You want to experience the most out of live while you can and the older you get the easier it is to balance.

To me it looks like one of those situation where you'll look back and think "I wish I enojyed my childhood."

Because 5000 people waiting for you to tell them who to bash, 28 people prasing your while admitting they use to hate you.

It can't be good. And if they were to read this they'd probably say "oh you don't actually care you just want to shit on me."

And like, yeah I don't care, but am I saying all this because I want to shit on them? no I'm just pointing out concerns.

Apart from that I fully agree with anon.

[stormiclown]

Ladies & Gentlemen : Head-cannons

[Someone suggested I should this so here we are]

-Stephan was definitely chased around by people who only wanted to be his friend to get a leg up in higher class society, so he always avoided them and made himself seem unpleasant. He’s likely never had any real friends before Francois DuPont.

-His type is artistic people with multiple talents. He won’t entertain anyone who is all talk and no effort as shown when he rebuffed Lila and shut down Adrien.

-For their first date, Stephan would most likely take Marinette to an amusement park, fashion museum, or a fancy night dinner.

-If Stephan were to ruin Adrien’s life, he would do it socially as his father would frown at trying to ruin Gabriel’s company. But he has no qualms about trying to outshine the company.

-Stephan’s father was the one who taught him everything about social manipulation and intimidation tactics. He had to get his attitude from somewhere.

-Stephan loves Marinette’s designs, but loves modeling them for her even more.

-Marinette is his first girlfriend and the first person he’d ever been curious about. Whenever they spend time together, they usually go to parks and hang out at her internships.

-Before going to Francois DuPont, Stephan only used manipulation for himself and only his vindictive side if he was provoked or disrespected first. Now with Marinette and his friends, he’d use his social charm to protect them from others.

-He’s an Aquarius, that’s for sure.

-For model work, he is actually very active to the clothing designing process more than the modeling part, though does enjoy it.

-Any person who tries to harm Marinette can say good bye to their social life. Messing with Stephan is basically like committing social suicide.

-Marinette is unaware of the threats toward Adrien and finds Stephan to be amazing.

-She secretly resents Adrien for never standing up for her whenever Lila started on her BS.

-Despite his morally grey methods, all of her friends support their relationship because deep down, Stephan is a good person.

-I can imagine him being the new Cat hero if Adrien were removed from the team.

-In his conquest to destroy anyone who is a threat to his plans or happiness, he has shown resourcefulness and wits, as shown when he patiently (found) compiled a bunch of clips of Chat Noir’s less than noble moments and used his platform to promote the evidence in order to shake Paris’ faith in the hero. Yeah, his reach is wide spread. I wouldn’t get on his bad side.

-He’d have no problem getting Lila blacklisted from the fashion and photography industries if she tries anything funny.

-Lila may be a charming liar, but Stephan is a charismatic genius, capable of wrapping an entire school around his fingers, charm an entire city as the new hero, and bring about social demise to anyone who tries to cross him.

-He is a very attentive and caring boyfriend who is always willing to listen and can pick up on any questions that show if Marinette is upset.

That’s all I have for now. I might add more later.

[edosianorchids901]

A Day in the Life

@flashfictionfridayofficial prompt - "reporting the scoop"

“Angel!” Crowley kicked the shop door open and stormed in, heart pounding. This was ridiculous. A disaster. “Aziraphale, are you here?”

“Crowley?” Aziraphale rushed out of the back room, carrying an armful of scrolls. He looked over Crowley as if expecting signs of injury. “Good Heavens, what’s the matter?”

Breathless, Crowley leaned against the counter and tried to focus. “Need your help.”

“Yes, of course! Anything, my dear.” Once again, Aziraphale looked him over. “Um. With what?”

Crowley slammed the newspaper down. “I need a scoop.”

Aziraphale blinked at him, then slowly said, “Well, there is an ice cream shop just around the corner…”

“No, I’m not talking about scoops of ice cream,” Crowley snapped, thumping the newspaper. “M’ talking about this.”

Expression crinkled with confusion, Aziraphale looked down at the Infernal Times. His eyes widened with a terrifying sort of excitement. “Oh, a scoop! About what?”

“Life on Earth, mostly. Hell wants me to do up something like…” Crowley made a face and shrugged, trying to remember. “The ways that I tempt humans and ruin the world. Or how I thwart angels.”

“By inviting them to lunch,” Aziraphale said primly.

“Angel!”

“I do suppose that wouldn’t be very helpful in this instance.”

“Not exactly.” Snarling with annoyance, Crowley flopped down on the bookshop sofa and tossed the newspaper to the coffee table. “I’ve got no damn clue what to write about. I mean, got loads of stuff I could report on about Earth, but most of what I wanna say would get me locked up in a torture chamber for the next few millennia.”

Aziraphale shuddered and sat beside him. “Well, we can’t have that. But how can I help?”

“I’m pretty fantastic at bullshitting, if I do say so myself, but…” This was probably gonna sound insulting, but Crowley was getting desperate. “You’re the master of it.”

Aziraphale’s cheeks flushed, and he flicked a hand. “Don’t be absurd. Angels don’t… do that.”

“Okay, sure, but I’ve never met anyone else who is as good at creative interpretations of orders and actions.” Crowley pouted at him and gave a tempting sway. “Please?”

For a moment, Aziraphale just stared at him, lips pursed. Then he sighed. “All right, my dear. What precisely do you need?”

“Nnnnh, I dunno. Something that won’t get me tossed in a torture chamber.” Anxiety crushed Crowley’s chest, and he gulped. If he fucked this up…

“It’s quite all right, my dear. I’ll help.” Aziraphale’s fingers curled around his and very gently squeezed his hand. “We shall come up with something beyond reproach.”

Crowley stared at their joined hands for a moment, then nodded. “Okay. So. Technically, m’ supposed to do like, ‘a day in the life’ sort of feature about myself. But my life is… driving around in my car, listening to loads of music, watching telly, drinking scotch, hanging out with an angel…”

None of which were exactly convincing as demonic activities. He was so fucked.

But Aziraphale’s expression brightened, and he nodded. “Well, that certainly gives us a great deal to work with.”

---

Article in the Infernal Times:

Evil never sleeps, and every day starts early for the Demon Crowley. After six thousand years as Hell’s top agent of mayhem, he’s an expert at time management. With this many human souls to harvest, efficiency is key.

Rousing human drama sets the mood for a successful day. Over the centuries, Crowley has sank his claws deep into the fields of human entertainment. Every day, he studies the latest twists and turns of human television and films, ready to pounce at the first sign of an opportunity.

One call to a studio to nudge a plot towards darkness, and he’s off to the next job. The chaos of human traffic has always been one of Crowley’s specialties—just look at the M-25, a project that earned him a commendation—and he does his part to make the roads even worse. By exceeding the speed limit and cutting off other drivers, he plants seeds of wrath and envy, causing a ripple effect that tarnishes thousands of souls at once.

As he drives through London, human entertainment makes a reappearance. Crowley blasts music in his car, another clever source of annoyance for those unfortunate souls nearby. He also specializes at lurking in pubs, where he can encourage drunkenness and sloth. Every little bit of evil advances the goal of bringing about Armageddon.

During his long days and nights of tempting and corrupting people, Crowley also keeps an eye on his adversary, the Principality Aziraphale. Through clever distractions and close observation, he sabotages Heaven’s plans.

“It’s a tough job,” Crowley says, pouring another glass of alcohol. “But somebody’s gotta do it.”

---

One week later

Crowley kicked the shop door open, latest edition of the *Infernal Times* in hand. “Angel!”

“Crowley!” Aziraphale shoved out of his chair, eyes wide, and rushed over. “How did it go? Is everything okay?”

“Yup. And look at that.” Grinning, Crowley shoved the paper into Aziraphale’s hands and tapped it enthusiastically. “Front page column and everything. Thanks.”

“Oh, how exciting! And you’re quite welcome.” Aziraphale gave him a shy look. “Although I wouldn’t object to a more concrete form of thanks.”

Rolling his eyes, Crowley jerked his thumb towards the door. “Come on, then. I’d better provide some clever distractions and close observation in the form of lunch. And drinks, of course.”

“Of course,” Aziraphale said slyly, taking his arm. “You old fiend, sabotaging my plans again.”

[stevetonyweekly]

SteveTony Weekly - June 18th

I read so much this week!!! And so much was delightful I’m super excited about this list! I did re-read Bulletpoints this week which is 100% reflected in my fic reading as well. Enjoy that.  

Check out this week’s reads and be sure to leave your author a comment/kudos! 

~*~ 

Time, Space, Flesh by veryvincible 

“I’ve got a hotel room,” Tony said.

“And if we’re seen?”

Tony’s response came quick, too confident. He’d given the same spiel many times before. “Oh, you know. Good friends. Had a bit to drink. Maybe we’re French— you know how it is. Besides, we’ve been here for how long, now? If anyone was going to notice you, you’d think they’d have done it by now.”

The Day Before Tomorrow by lastdream

Less than twenty-four hours before the Iron Man's last fight, Steve Rogers gets an evening to himself.

Icebreaker by Sineala

Months after Tony is murdered on a strange, starless world, a world almost no one remembers, Steve plummets from a drone plane into the cold waters of the North Atlantic. He's fully expecting not to survive -- but instead he wakes up on another new world, where he meets a very familiar stranger. And it turns out the two of them have a lot in common.

Not Your Reality (The Time-Out Remix) by Veldeia

An unlikely visitor crash-lands at Natasha Stark and Steve Rogers' doorstep on the eve of their wedding. Just who is this alternate universe Iron Man?

Marriage and Mate Chases by NotEvenCloseToStraight

A Regency-ish AU:

Strict, stern Alpha Captain Steve Rogers is firmly in control of himself, his army, and his life and intends to marry an Omega who shares the same ideals while wild, flighty Omega!Tony loves to flaunt Howard's rules, society's expectations and has no intention of settling down.

An arranged marriage forces Alpha and Omega together, but Steve's constant disapproval and Tony's refusal to compromise leads to anger and arguments, missed heats, harsh ruts and a lack of bonding bites. Vicious rumours fly about the Omega's fidelity and the Alpha's ability to control his mate and when Steve runs away to war to distance himself from his unpredictable husband, Tony turns to new friends and illicit activities to hide his hurting heart.

Steve returns from war a changed man ready to be a good husband, dedicating every minute of every day to winning Tony's heart back, but Tony is tired of being ignored, busy with his own projects and unwilling to give the Alpha another chance.

With outside forces plotting to ruin what little happiness they have, are Steve and Tony doomed to be unbonded husbands, married but never truly mates?

Some Dragons Are Famous Dragons by Eudoxia 

Bucky's not surprised when Steve beings home stray cats, dogs, and even a raccoon once, but a dragon?

Really, Steve? A dragon?

A dragon that likes to steal tools and watch the news about missing persons, too.

Anthony and Natasha by TheCityLightShow

On Steve's sixteenth birthday, as was the norm, he woke up with a name on his wrist, etched beautifully into his skin. In blocky, scruffy handwriting now sat “Natasha Stark” on his left wrist.

It was elegant handwriting, but not in a way that anyone other than Steve would share the notion.

Now, he's out of the ice, and he lifts his wrist to his face as his vision swims for a second. Oh thank god, he thinks at the sight of the black blur that mars his wrist, and then his thought processes stutter and screech to halt because it's changed.

The handwriting is still the blocky scruffy script that he loves, that holds comfort for him in the cross of the t and the arc of the r, but it's not Natasha. It doesn't say Natasha Stark any more.

No, the name on his wrist is Anthony Stark.

This time – this new time, Director Fury explains to him, this time sixty seven years in the future – this time he will find him. Whether they're ninety like he should be, or closer to his actual age, Steve won't make the same mistake twice.

 He doesn't tell SHIELD that the name in their file is now wrong.

Emergency Protocol by navaan 

In New Avengers V1 era, Tony and Steve discuss the Avengers Protocol for Bang or Die situations. It's awkward. It gets hot - and then it gets out of hand but maybe they're getting to the heart of something that they should have discussed a long time ago.

You could have my heart, and I would break it for you by Missy_dee811

The mission they’d been on had been an abject failure. Even if the rest of the Avengers had been able to stay on task, it wouldn’t matter. Two of their own were missing: Iron Man and Captain America.

Sacrifice the Gift by hollyandvice (hiasobi_writes) 

When a biological agent nearly takes the life of Captain America, Iron Man risks everything to keep his friend alive. Now Tony Stark needs to deal with the fallout.

Sleepwalking by NotEvenCloseToStraight

Every year on Tony Stark's birthday, his soulmate Steven Grant Rogers crosses time and distance to spend the day with him...until the day the Valkyrie goes into the water in 1943.

Fifty years in the future, Tony starts a desperate search to find Steve beneath the ice, racing against time and fate to bring his soulmate into the newest century so they can finally be together.

like daylight by ohjustpeachy

Because through all of it, the slammed fists and the miscommunications, the people he invited into his bed and kicked out in the morning, he never thought that it would be Steve Rogers in the end.

Or, Tony thinks back on past relationships and why they never worked out.

Nothing Else but Miracles (An Ancient Secrets and New-born Dreams Remix) by Muccamukk

In the rough and tumble of the Lower East Side, the only constants in Steve's life are the solid black letters of the name on his wrist. Because even with the law and society against them, his world falling apart piece by piece, and his search for his soulmate taking him to stranger and wilder places, Steve has faith that finding Tony Stark is only a matter of time.

my one and only by meidui (orphan_account)

Tony has been self-conscious about his laugh lines lately, but Steve always takes his hands and kisses his face, telling him he loves them. It’s the truth. Tony looks so beautiful with them, and they remind Steve of what a privilege it is to grow old with him.

A bullet to mend our hearts by tonymystark

Tony is stuck in a time loop; he keeps getting thrown back to their fight in the quinjet before the whole invasion. He finally figures out how to end the loop.

Safe Haven by gottalovev, zappedbysnow

It's been three months since the Battle of New York. Four since Steve woke up in the future. Everything is still too fast, too bright, too glib. And then, as if it wasn't enough, Steve is dragged through a portal into an alternate universe. Other Him is happy, though, and that feels like hope.

No Good Deed by raeldaza for merelydovely 

Steve’s not happy in the future. Tony gets it in his head that he’ll be a good friend and create a time machine to send Steve back to the 40s.

But as time ticks on, and Steve and Tony grow closer, do either of them actually want Steve to use it?

I (created from fantasies) exist solely for you by Mizzy

Six years ago, without the Avengers Initiative there to save the day, scientist Dr. Eric Selvig sacrificed himself to save the world, the almighty demi-god Thor was lost to a terrible storm, and vigilante Iron Man – spotted with a nuclear weapon trying to take advantage of the situation – was forever labelled an enemy of SHIELD.

This is a comic book office AU, where Steve is defrosted a year too late, Thor has forgotten who he is, and no one knows Tony is Iron Man.

Also includes: office pranks, inappropriate post-it notes, and superheroes who like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Bright Things and Fair by sheron 

The course of true love never did run smooth — and neither did time-travel to retrieve the Tesseract. When circumstances outside their control force Steve and Tony to spend more time together in the 1970, they do what two people with their history do under the circumstances: work together and try to get through it without unnecessary feelings getting in the way. Falling for each other is definitely a bad idea, isn't it?

[imagionationstation]

“It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.” —Oscar Wilde

Consider: ROTTMNT Leo is annoying but not tedious, and that’s why he won’t leave you alone

You just had to get me thinking about this blue nutjob, didn’t you?

Alrighty, then.

Unpopular opinion it is!

The definition of tedious that I’m finding is “too long, slow, or dull; monotonous or tiresome” and that really isn’t him.

Nothing about this kid boring or dull. He’s definitely the life of the party wherever he goes, and he absolutely deserves props for finding the punchline in a bad sitch or the solution to a major concern.

I never said he was bad. He’s a good kid. But his egotistical, impulsive nature and his endless manipulation of his siblings and not to mention his outright refusal to admit fault is downright infuriating.

Definitely not charming, I assure you.

It’s so hard to have sympathy for this kid sometimes. His bros say NO and he goes TOO LATE so often that it drives me nuts.

One day, he’s wisely making comments about staying home during a Mutant Panic, and the next, he’s blatantly hiding a bag of Poisoned Food from Raph so he can EAT THEM as he is ACTIVELY ON FIRE and in PAIN and DYING and HE KNOWS IT-

But anywaayyy~

Leo is definitely annoying. I could show you multiple clips of his brothers over dealing with him or feeling the effects of his bad choices that would prove that even they would agree with me.

But, it’s obvious to them, me, and anyone who truly watches the series, that despite all his faults, he’s a good kid. One who hasn’t been given the attention that he needs and seeks it out in unhealthy ways. Even before the movie, it was obvious how much he loves his family and how imperative he is to their little social circle.

It’s those hidden, buried, frustratingly-hard-to-dig-up good qualities that draw me to this smug idiot. He’s loyal to a fault and has no hesitations for fighting for his family- even risking his life, if need be.

The movie taught him a necessary lesson. “It’s not about me.”

Because it ISN’T. His ego tends to hurt more than it helps. No, I do not support the headcanon that Leo wanted to give up the leader role in the movie. Never once does he allude to that at any point.

Like many of the RISE characters, he’s put in a limelight that he doesn’t deserve.

The movie Leo never once made me think, “Huh, that’s weird.”

So, if there is a third season, I hope it doesn’t turn that message into a dramatic hurt that needs healing. Fanfic it all you want! Don’t let me ruin your fun! I’m not saying that your headcanons are wrong!

I simply would prefer it to not be canon.

But, that’s just my opinion. Not fact. Opinion.

A repeat for those in the back!

He’s loyal. He’s loving. He’s a bright side in a dark time.

He’s a good person.

BUT MY GOSH, IF HE WOULD JUST SHUT UP FOR FIVE MINUTES-

NO ONE IS LAUGHING. RESPECT YOUR BROTHERS.

SERIOUSLY. NO ONE CARES, LEO.

NO ONE

[hecksupremechips]

giving u a lil friend smooch and permission to talk about whatever crosses your mind MWAH

Whale ain’t that sweet 🥺

Time to talk very long in an incoherent way cuz im out of meds and sleep deprived and having issues rn so its. Not gonna be. Words gonna go silly

I’m never not thinking about shinji this is known this is truth I think shinji and ryuki have this shared problem of being my favorite characters ever but the game theyre in sucks and is Bad so bad lol but shhhh I don’t wanna talk about that part rn I’ll get really bitchy. I’m very insecure that when I write the shinji and akihiko relationship during the 2 years separation that I’m making aki look like a fucking asshole on accident liek I’m worried my biases are skewing things cuz like okay. Main conflict is aki wants shinji to come back to sees and feels like he’s blaming himself too much for the incident with kens mom to the point of not doing ANYTHING like just wallowing in self pity. And shinji doesn’t wanna come back cuz guilt + trauma has ruined everything about sees and he doesn’t have a clue how to control his persona so he doesn’t wanna risk another casualty and he’s sick of being asked to come back to that shit and starts destroying himself yayyy. And its a very real conflict like it hurts cuz neither of them are WRONG but they’re horrible at communicating and they have so much bullshit to carry that they should t have to carry on their own but they don’t have anyone to rely on, especially not shinji. But sometimes I think like in both the canon and in fics akis perspective is shown waaay more and he’s made out to be like. Correct? Like I’m supposed to think shinji is being unreasonable or something or that he’s an asshole and it’s like. No??? I think he’s actually very reasonable like he really shouldn’t have to come back to sees it’s not the end of the world like yes, he shouldn’t be isolating himself it’s not good for him but that’s not like. A moral failing he’s literally just traumatized and suicidal and like. Of course he’s isolating! Of course he’s being secretive and hurting himself and feels at fault like he isn’t a regular persona user his persona is literally actively dangerous which would obviously translate to him as “im dangerous” and hes also literally been told all his life he’s a failure he’s literally the loner with “behavior issues” and no family no money treated as a burden by all the adults and being in sees was his one chance to be a part of something where he finally wasn’t a failure and then. He failed at that too. And he loves his friends but like, their lives aren’t the same. Mitsuru has always been rich and beautiful and smart and akihiko came from the same place but he got adopted by a nice rich family and is a star athlete and smart and well behaved and then theres shinji the drop out freak and I think that’s also what leads him to connect with strega and get the suppressants is just like. The feeling of being misunderstood by the people who SHOULD understand but they just like. Literally cannot because of their different roles in society. It’s painful! It isn’t something he wants to address but it’s undeniably there! And it’s painful for aki just like. The realization that he alone cannot move shinji he alone cannot make him happy again and theres parts of him he’ll literally never understand it’s horrible cuz they’ve always understood each other and been able to pick each other up but the world is getting too complicated and they’re both so damaged and can’t do it alone anymore and punching shadows just. Won’t fix it. They need so much love and support and therapy and cookies many cookies and shinji lives in my pocket

Okay now that I’ve gotten the bulk of that ramble out of the way let’s get cute okay. I really wanna write halloween fics rn even though it’s July like it’s actually a need and of course it’s about my favorite tsundere family trio so basically basically basically October is a horrible month for them but they and the rest of sees decide to get really into Halloween just to have something good to look forward to and I like to imagine shinji in an attempt to find a will to live gets like REALLY into sewing like hes always been able to sew just like basic stuff like he always mended clothes and made miki a stuffed animal out of old socks (it was really ugly she loved it) and he could stitch up wounds but he never really got too skilled at it. And then one day he notices koromarus costume is a little wonky and this spirals into I MUST MAKE A NEW COSTUME FOR KORO and before he knows what’s happening koro is dressed like a clown fish and a month has passed and he hasn’t tried to hurt himself once so FUCK this is now something he’s become deeply invested in. So he decides he’s gonna make Halloween costumes for Ken and (sigh) himself cuz yeah. There’s obviously gonna be a halloween party costumes are required. Ken I think would like trick or treating but also he’s like IM NOT A BABY I DONT DO THAT and I think aki and shinji would respect that but also they kinda really wanna take him trick or treating cuz a) it’s fun and they need fun memories and Ken needs to have childhood fun before he’s too old b) they didn’t really get to have much halloween fun as kids and c) candy free candy. Still undecided if they’ll go or not BUT they will at least have the party to go to and they’re all like oh noooooo (secretly very excited). So back to sewing shinji tries to engage with kens interests and with great great effort he promises Ken that they’ll dress up as his favorite characters and Ken sooo wants to act cool but he’s over the moon and the idea of shinji dressing up with him is just. Sobs I’m actually gonna cry JUST THINKING ABOUT IT STOP. So shinji gets some shitty ass discount fabrics and is gonna hand sew them but he’s starting kinda late and his hands are a lot weaker now so he’s forced to use 🙊 the sewing machine. And he is very bad. With the sewing machine but he cannot destroy it with his ax because it was a gift and he doesn’t have time to struggle with this and he wants to call fuuka for assistance but he’s a little shit who hates asking for help and also it’d ruin the surprise if she knew his costume plans obviously. So basically enter aki who walks in on this and he’s like hey did you know you can read the instruction manual for help and shinji is like FUCK YOU OF COURSE I KNOW THIS and aki is like then hwhyyy are you nOT DOING IT and so they have to take a night to figure it out (date night goals) and it’s literally so difficult cuz the instructions are total gibberish to shinji but at least he knows how sewing works while aki is the opposite he can read the manual but doesn’t know shit about threads or fabric so they have to work together it’s atrocious it’s like diffusing a bomb and then other conflicts come up aki is like. Am I getting a costume too and shinji is like lol no and aki is like but I wanna be part of this joint costume thing it sounds cute and shinji is like ….did….did you think you weren’t gonna be part of this???? And aki is like YOU NEVER DISCUSSED IT WITH ME???? So poor aki just thought he was excluded from the big costume moment cuz shinji forgot to explicitly tell him that it was a thing they’d both do cuz he just thought it was obvious and this changes EVERYTHING SHINJI so they discuss their costumes and shinji is like okay cool but I’m still not making your costume for you that’s something you gotta figure out for yourself lol and then they get the machine working and shinji makes a third costume and it’s sweet but also he does get scolded for overworking himself but it’s fiiiiine it’s literally fiiiine and Ken is happy even though the costumes are really wonky cuz he thinks he looks JUST LIKE his

Blorbo and also he honestly didn’t think shinji and aki would actually go through with dressing up with him cuz he’s just so used to empty promises and not getting good things BUT THEY FOLLOWED THROUGH and they look really dorky and stupid but they match with him and they did it for him and they look like a family and oh god im crying again hold on. And they get a lot of candy obviously and side note akihiko would be that bitch who gives raisins to everyone because it’s the only candy he likes and he genuinely thinks kids would want it because ITS LITERALLY NATURES CANDY and their apartment gets egged