#nnoigrimmaporro

[turnbackthependulum]

Szayel: I think I'm bi.

Nnoitra: Which one?

Szayel: What do you mean?

Nnoitra: Bilingual? Bisexual? Bipolar..?

Grimmjow: Ha, I know. A bitch.

[turnbackthependulum]

[In an AU where Halibel, Ulquiorra, Nnoitra, Grimmjow and Szayel were out for their leisure time in Karakura Town...] Ulquiorra: *sips on Iced Cappucino* Halibel, checking her watch: It's been fifteen minutes and I still see no signs of Grimmjow, Nnoitra and Szayel. *Outside the cafe window behind Halibel, a car without a driver inside is seen rolling down a driveway. A screaming Szayel could be seen strapped to the roof of the car, whereas Nnoitra and Grimmjow are running after it in a panic. Ulquiorra did not look in their direction at all.* Ulquiorra: That means they're getting into trouble.

[turnbackthependulum]

Starrk: Wanna hear a hard riddle? Szayel: Let's go. Starrk: A rooster laid an egg on a roof. Which way did it roll? Szayel: Down..? Starrk: N- Grimmjow: Who the f*ck cares which way it rolled?! It would make a perfect sunny-side-up! Nnoitra: No, idiot, it'd be scrambled eggs! Szayel: That's only if the egg breaks, guys- Starrk, raises his voice slightly: No, numbskulls. Roosters don't lay eggs. Nnoitra: Grimmjow: Szayel:

[turnbackthependulum]

Szayel: Grimm, which monster loves to dance at parties?

Grimmjow: ... I dunno, mummies?

Szayel: A decent guess, but it's the boogieman.

Grimmjow:

Nnoitra: Aight Grimm, how d'ya know if a skeleton is sick?

Grimmjow: ...

Grimmjow: I swear to god if-

Nnoitra: It's coffin.

Grimmjow, sighing: Wh- I can't even be mad at this time..

[turnbackthependulum]

Halibel: *sends something to the group chat at 3 AM*

Starrk: *replies 30 seconds later*

Szayel: WOW why are you still up at this hour, Starrk? Like isn't it EXTREMELY late for you to be awake..?

Nnoitra: Ya need yer required 8 hours of sleep, Starrk, 'cuz it's the body's "best safety mechanism" innit?

Grimmjow: Yea, you need that 8 hours of sleep to relax and ignore the existence of your sins and failures as they endlessly loom over you, otherwise you won't be "powerful on a whole other level", right?

[turnbackthependulum]

Nnoitra: Oi, Grimm. Why did the chicken cross the road?

Grimmjow: To get to the other side?

Nnoitra: You're supposed to say "I don't know. Why?"

Grimmjow: Tch, fine. I don't know. Why?

Nnoitra: To get to the idiot's house.

Grimmjow: ...

Szayel: Grimm, I got one! Knock knock!

Grimmjow: Hell no.

Szayel: C'mon, man, you're supposed to say "Who's there?"

Grimmjow: OKAY! Who tf is there?

Szayel: The chicken.

Nnoitra:

Grimmjow:

Szayel:

Grimmjow, grits teeth: Listen here, yall absolute piece of sh*#

[turnbackthependulum]

Halibel: You guys know those things will kill you, right?

Grimmjow, pouring another glass of whiskey: That is the point.

Nnoitra, smoking a cigarette: We're just tryna speed up the process.

Szayel: *aggressively nods while eating raw cookie dough*