#nkotb references | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

perpetuallurkernazanin · 4 months ago

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OP, I am delighted / regret to inform you that "'Good Vibrations' by Marky Mark" is not a legally-distinct parody reference to the Beach Boys classic. Marky Mark is Mark Wahlberg, in a short-lived stab at pop-rap between his NKotB and movie careers, and this song hit Billboard #1 in 1991.

(The whole messy context: https://www.stereogum.com/2170380/the-number-ones-marky-mark-the-funky-bunchs-good-vibrations-feat-loleatta-holloway/columns/the-number-ones/)

I'd like to propose a dark horse candidate for the most interesting line in The Book of Bill. And it's this near-unreadable, seemingly one-off joke from the "Skin" page:

[ID: tiny text reading: "Help! This is not Bill Cipher. My name is Grebley Hemberdreck of Zimtrex 5. I'm one of thousands of beings Bill has devoured over trillions of years whose souls are now trapped inside him. You have to free me! It's horrible in here. He just keeps playing the song "Good Vibrations" by Marky Mark on an endless loop. Please, please, this is not a joke! The Zimtrexians were once a proud and mighty people, but now our spirits long for release from this..." End ID.]

Okay, so Bill devours souls who then live out a horrible existence inside him. That's just some typical and expected Bill behavior, right? Nothing to be shocked by? Maybe not, but one thing jumps out at me... and of all things, it's the way that Bill keeps playing that Beach Boys parody on loop.

Because in The Book of Bill, there's a recurring motif of characters playing music for a very specific reason: to repel an unwanted presence inside their head. This is what Elias Inkwell, and later Ford, did with the "It's A Small World" parody — they tried to keep Bill out of their brains. Or, metaphorically... to drown out his voice.

[ID: a Journal 3 page with a cassette taped inside. It's titled: "The World Is Small Ever After for Always." Ford writes: "If it's war you want, it's war you'll get! If you want to torture me? I'll torture you back!" End ID.]

That doesn't necessarily mean that Bill finds the voices of devoured souls to be troubling, let alone downright haunting, does it? Well... not quite on its own. But there's a "color" code on the page about TV static that says a lot:

[ID: a code consisting of colorful squares, translated to letters that spell out: "he never sleeps he never dreams but somehow still he hears their screams." End ID] (screenshot courtesy of @fexiled)

The context of the page implies these "screams" come to Bill especially when he listens to TV static, and the broader context of the book implies that these are the screams of his destroyed home dimension, Euclydia. Therefore, not necessarily those of the souls he devoured, from Zimtrex 5 and possibly other dimensions.

Except... do those two things really have to be mutually exclusive?

The beings that Bill devoured were accumulated over "trillions" of years, plural, according to Grebley. In Weirdmageddon 1, Bill claims to have resided in the Nightmare Realm for precisely "one trillion" years. So the "devouring" habit probably extends back even further than his time in the Nightmare Realm...

Enter @acetyzias, pointing out a very conspicuous word — and one of the only uncensored words — from Bill's description of destroying his home dimension:

[ID: the word "mandibles". End ID.]

Oh, and how does Bill describe the "monster" that destroyed his home to Ford, when Ford asks about revenge?

[ID: Journal excerpt reading: "Sixer, it would eat you alive." End ID.]

For a long time, Bill's destruction of his home has been associated with fire, even when the story's told by Bill himself. But through the way the book characterizes Bill's guilt — and characterizes how the consequences of what he's done remain lurking deep inside him — I think The Book of Bill lays out the hints for another motif: devouring.

And, well, when it comes to how Bill destroys things... it wouldn't be without precedent.

[ID: screenshot of Bill in Weirdmageddon 3, taking a bite out of the Earth. End ID.]

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anduriil · 7 months ago

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today i bought a 2nd hand art history book. it's the kind they study at high school, maybe last year of it, and it's over 1k pages long (here it's next to an adorable edition of 'platero and i' from 1974)

when i got home and inspected it, i found a bunch of really well made cheat sheets as well as a few clues about the person who had owned it - a girl who had been a teen in the 90-91 school year, who was learning english and seemed rather enamored with american stuff!

the book wasn't too scribbled on, but i found she had written down NKOTB so i decided to play them while looking at the rest of it

she had a crush on maverick topgun! his name is scribbled at several points. i can't identify what the sentences mean though. are they lyrics? she scribbles a lot about coke and drugs, which made me think maybe it meant cocaine, but then later on it kind of seems coke was a person and that was their nickname - maybe she was playing around with this name because she also

scribbled some coca-cola! so maybe this coke was someone she had a crush on, it definitely reads that way to me. and then

more coke! but she refers to coke as 'she'. do we have a 90s queer girl with a crush on another girl, or did she not know the pronouns in english?

she seems to really have loved bad boy types!

i hope you enjoyed this little glimpse into this stranger's life! i was not expecting to find this in the book and i am so delighted by it!

#idk how to tag this #books #i GUESS

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bisexualcrises · 7 years ago

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You can tell the It (2017) crew wanted to capitalize (not saying this is a bad thing) on Finn during reshoots because Richie is never given any background on his past/home life (everyone else is) and basically every scene that has major character development for him is reshot- which was after Finn gained a lot more fame after Stranger Things alksdfj

#you can literally tell because of his hair length and his voice #some of his scenes in the first scene in the house???#reshot and dubbed #the scene in the sewer at the end when he has a fuckin monologue?#reshot #but parts of that ENTIRE scene aren't reshot #so they basically went 'oh fuck he's probably the most popular actor in this movie now looks like we have to give him more to do' alsdkfj #wish they'd given us Richie's BACKSTORY too instead of a second NKOTB reference or that uncomfy scene #where they're staring at Bev #like..... yall could have developed Mike Stan and Richie instead #Richie's backstory in the book is actually really interesting and explains A LOT about his behavior #like... his parents neglect him and tell him they wished they had a girl and not him #so he tries to get attention elsewhere so he runs his mouth nonstop #he's so smart and get's basically straight As but he acts like it's not a big deal and shit and tries to act cool #like..... what a missed opportunity #that could have REALLY shown more about his character in the missing poster scene #because then it would have shown that his biggest fear isn't really clowns but being FORGOTTEN #forgotten by his parents and his friends and the town #I mean they even made sure to talk about that in the alleyway when they were at the parade fair... thing #so it would have REALLY worked #lasdkfj but that's just me #I'm not saying this is a BAD thing but it IS a missed opportunity

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ingek73 · 1 year ago

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Jason’s brother Simon was his accountant, Gary’s too but he fired him.

Jason seemed happiest after the reunion when he referred to TT as a band of brothers but then Gary kept referring to himself as the captain and the vibe changed when Robbie rejoined.

It was such a letdown when he stopped talking in interviews or didnt even feature in behind the scenes clips. I left Progress live feeling really sad when he didnt sing his line in BFG.

…

Before TT I was into NKOTB, where my fave was Jonathan. Since he’s on social media I’ve been following and I think the NKOTB vibe is very different. Yes Donnie, Jordan and Joey sing way more than Jonathan and Danny, but everyone is fine with that, and everyone is so loving & supportive of each other.

Jonathan had a really bad bout of stage fright for a while & doesnt sing often sing but just look how happy everyone genuinely is for him when he sings his line in Step By Step(from 2:45)

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…

Back to TT I think it was very telling when Gary told Perrie Edwards from Little Mix that she was the best singer and something like every group should have a leader and Perrie did not want that.

Gary wants to be the leader, I think Jason was happiest when they resembled a family.

Also its ok to walk away from your old job and not stay in touch

Jason.

Suddenly I want to talk about Jason (it's a very long talk).

I realize I never talk about this here, but I often compare him to Queen's John Deacon. There are few similarities. The "silent" one, the underrated one, the one who prefer tea when the others would prefer wine, the one whose lyrics always about life, the dark horse, the one who is not confident with singing, the one who left the band and never be seen again.

The thing about John Deacon is that I never feel sort of bereaved, longing, or sad that he is no longer in Queen. I am a Queen fan since I could barely speak english thanks to my dad and the moment I learn that he left Queen so many years ago I was like that's ok. That's because even though Brian and Roger are the spine of Queen, the heart and soul will always be with Freddie and Freddie died 32 years ago. New fans had their hard time accepting it when they searched for Deacy but they quickly realized time has gone long and he has been living a peaceful private life. It's easy for us to let go of Deacy, because Queen regardless how good Adam Lambert is now, is over the moment Freddie died. There are no what ifs when talking about Deacy leaving Queen and public life. His statement is also clear and undeniable that he left because he thought there should be no more Queen after Freddie.

But the thing about Jason Orange is that he left at the height of Take That fandom. They just had Robbie back and they released Progress and it was very very success album and tour too. Three years later, people expect something but Robbie's not coming back and so did Jason. It feels anticlimactic for fans even though it may not be for him. There are no impromptu. Unlike the rest of the members, Jason doesn't have social media but he also didn't do or say anything leading up to that day in 2014. Take That was perfectly fine ship and suddenly one of their longest standing member at that time jumped the ship without lifeboat that could help him return. He swam to the nearest island and not planning to swim back to the ship ever again. Sure he made a statement through Take That's PR but it's just a thank yous. Something is not told and as fans we left to wonder why did he leave. What had gone wrong in the background??

Toxic fans would often like to think it's because of Robbie because Jason didn't like Rob in the 90s and, while often written off in newer documentaries or autobiographies, was the one who propagated to kick Robbie Williams out of Take That (as stated by the man himself in Look Back, Don't Stare). It's easy to make Robbie Williams a scapegoat, isn't it? However, Jason himself said back in Progress era that Robbie came back to Take That was the final piece of puzzle. Gary in his book A Better Me also said that Jason always wanted Robbie to return and felt like his job is done when he got to see all his boyband friends in the same room again.

However, it still doesn't answer the question to why did he leave? I have a habit of wondering over unimportant things and sometimes, especially now, my mind wonder about Jason and why exactly did he leave. I have some theories, it might not satisfy you but bare with me.

Here's a gif of Jason so you won't get too tired reading this post lol

First theory: tax evasion scandal. I'm not gonna pretend to be a foolish fan and not know that sometimes in 2014, Take That faced a huge backlash thanks to this scandal. Those annoying 40-50 something British guy who love to make this tax evader joke to state they never like Take That to look manly can never escape me every time I go around social media about Take That. Even though it rarely talked about among Thatters, I feel like if they are not known more now than they are a decade ago it's because this scandal still affecting them in the eyes of UK public, who are their major target market. I could also argue if only they make another big break this scandal will be gone from people's mind but sad to say they haven't done anything bigger than Progress even until now, not that I don't like III, Wonderland, and This Life, I do. But me and all of you (roughly 30 people around here) and I'd estimate less than 2 millions most royal Thatters out there who are interested are not enough. Back to the tax scandal, it is a fact that Gary, Mark, and Howard are part of the scandal but not Jason because his finance always managed by his twin brother, so I heard. I wonder whatever went behind the scene could might affect Jason's decision to leave.

Why? Because if it is true that he left because Progress is enough, he could have stated he would be leaving since after Progress or any time between 2012 to early 2014. Why did he have to wait and drag this for too long? Also, I wonder if this is why they are so sensitive about Jason leaving at first. Remember in Robbie's autobiography when they were really angry at Rob for accidentally blurted it that Jason would leave before official statement?

Second theory: anxiety, illness, physical problem or other health problems. I often wonder about this too. Progress era is the ultimate era especially for old school Thatters (lol sorry to the actual ultimate era). Who would have thought that "I'm rich beyond my wildest dream", the greatest britpop star living in private mansion in Beverly Hills with around 10 entourages including his gf, Robbie Williams, could ever reunited with Take That? I can only look this like history book and only recently realized how crazy it is. It happened. In his Netflix documentary, even his management didn't believe this that he'd rather earn so little yet did so much effort for Take That rather than earning another hundreds of millions of dollar doing another solo tour. But it happened, he needed it, the rest of Take That needed it, and we're glad it happened. And then, imagine Never Forget. One of the best Take That song ever, made in 1995 but released when Rob had left, so before 2010 this song had never been performed by Robbie Williams. The moment that all Thatters had been waiting for, to see all five members of Take That perform this song life, without others backing the others, as the original single intended. The only era where they can do this, and it only ever happened once (1). And then Jason...

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And then they never did it again. Throughout Progress live tour, Jason didn't sing a single note by solo. His part in Never Forget was covered by Gary. You could even argue that his mic was never on during any of Progress live performances and I would believe you. So much downgrade than The Circus Live where he did an entire section singing two songs with his guitar. What was going on??

Why? He stated few times he was never confident in singing. Even Nigel Martin Smith berating him in the 90s for being the one with the worse singing voice (arguable though because he actually has decent voice). I'm glad Take Two era gave him the confidence to try albeit shyly. However, maybe eventually his anxiety won sometimes between 2012 to 2014. Plus the fact that we know he can't do breakdance forever. He was in his 40s at that time. Even current Take That dance lesser and lesser than they were in previous era. Maybe Jason thought there should not be more dancing in Take That. Maybe he thought his body would no longer able to. Maybe he's not strong as he used to be. He's ill? Idk, only Jason knows.

Third theory: settling down in private. It could be just my headcanon but think about it. We always joke he might as well marry to the bench because he's always photographed alone in his own thoughts. Some people even randomly thinking is he gay? He has that swag though, but I don't think at least he himself think that he's gay(?).

Lol this iconic pic

But what we never talk about is that he did have girlfriends in the past. He has been photographed by paparazzi in the past with "mystery" women (yes women as in plural) which I will not share here. He had a public relationship with Catherine Tate after all.

I genuinely think Jason is the kind who would drop everything to keep his family safe from public. This is after all the same guy who despite the height of his career barely show his family to the public, except his mom probably, but then again all TT moms always have media presence since day 1. Being in kdrama fandom and see korean actors and actresses who literally just dropped their career for their family and their privacy, I can see Jason would do just like that. Why not? He has achieved and experienced everything there is to know about being a celebrity. He doesn't feel the need to. And I feel like his relationship with Catherine Tate, since she also a public figure, was so gobbled down by media that maybe he thought this isn't right to have people judging his partner. If one day Jason appear with a wife and a child, I won't be surprised at all. I would be exploding in happiness that this theory is correct though.

Also I'm happy to see Catherine Tate returns to Doctor Who with David Tennant. I just know then that she actually is known for being in Doctor Who. I had no idea who is she outside being in Happy Now music video 😂

My theory outside Jason leaving:

Take That (and their management) know where and how Jason is (to some extent). In the interviews often Gary, Mark, and Howard would be asked about Jason to which they would say they didn't contact him for ages. Or joke that they tried to email him but then maybe he only have flip phones and doesn't even have a computer to answer the email. Look, he can be a hermit but man living in first world country and doesn't have even a smartphone to answer email in 21st century is ridiculous. I believe they still talk or see each other once in a while, especially with Howard, who tweeted that he met Jason in 2018. Hell, I feel like even Rob has seen Jason at least once between 2014 to now. I don't know, just a hunch.

His privacy is protected by Take That management and also by most of public. Continuation from previous bullet point. Yes. Because do you remember when there was George Michael's art auction in Manchester and some celebrities who came there are photographed clearly. But not Jason. It's hard to find that picture again but I found it and that's just the only the bigfoot sightings of Jason Orange that I know of because it happened after I know Take That deep enough. Between 2014 to 2017, how many sightings that I didn't know? Where if other celeb would have crystal clear pictures taken but not him on the same occasion? I wonder. Also many people claimed that they met Jason in public space in around London or Manchester, but mostly Manchester. So he is not as hermit as they would like you to think. Maybe if you go around there and if you just lucky, you might come across a wild Jason Orange.

Goddammit this guy.

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At the end of this post, thank you for reading this until this part, guys. I really miss Jason like all of you. He is truly an enigma but no matter what would always have special place in every Thatters' heart. Awww...I cringe a little when I wrote that.

Regardless my theory, I can only wish he lives a good and happy life. If you have something to say, you can also add here in the reblog or reply, or dm me, let's chat.

Also I put all Jason sightings on my tumblr with this tag called The Bigfoot Sightings of Jason Orange (because he is as blurry as bigfoot sightings).

#Youtube

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chemicaljacketslut · 3 years ago

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ok so for a musical version of It. i’ve decided there should be a funny love triangle song where ben & bill are singing about beverly, and i wanted bill’s parts to be all dramatic & ben’s parts to be all nkotb-esque. but now im thinkin about it & it’s like. ben was the one who was all dramatic about beverly… bill rly wasn’t that dramatic (on that front) compared to ben…. should i switch it. would it be a funny reference subversion or would it read as confusing

#love that im talking about this as if it’s actually getting made… maybe one day #ghost’s it: the musical

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incorrect-losers · 2 years ago

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!Losers road-trip headcanons!

Mike and Richie switch off driving. Mike drives the majority of the time but when he gets tired Richie takes the wheel. Because of this most of the time that Richie is driving everyone is asleep. And Richie’s an asshole attention whore so this usually ends with him swerving and break checking on an empty freeway to wake them all up.

The one time Beverly was driving she got pulled over (because she was speeding and swerving while messing with Eddie), the officer thought she was drunk and asked her to walk in a straight line on the road divider. She did a perfectly straight cartwheel over it. She did end up getting a speeding ticket.

Before they leave Eddie makes everyone a list of what to pack and signs off on them after looking at their luggage. Stan hates this because he’s the one the organizes and packs up the van. Eddie tells people to pack way too much unnecessary shit.

Bill makes them stop every few hours if he sees a cool site to take pictures (they’re usually references for scenery in his books). “Mike, Mike! Pull over!! Take the exit! Please pleeeease. I need a picture with the ominous light!!”

*the picture

Ben gets really carsick so he usually gets shotgun so that he can look out the windshield. He often tries to play his music because “shotgun gets control of the radio guys c’mon”which is typically met with ‘you’re only there on a technicality Ben!’ or ‘nobody wants to listen to the nkotb man.’

Stan maps out the roots and this way he’s able to assure that they can hit all the stops he wants to go to. “Oh hey wow look, it’s the world’s largest rocking chair! Maybe we should take a little pit stop?” They all know what he’s doing but they always go along with it.

Without fail every time Mike sees a haystack or hay bale he’ll go “Hey!” and point everyone falls for it and he finds it hilarious.

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angeltrapz · 3 years ago

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chainshipping ask time 💙💙 i wld love to hear ur thoughts on favorite albums they’ve shared w each other? + maybe the significance behind the albums.. hmmmvnfn also just more abt Adam being autistic— n maybe how it’d go down when Adam came out to Lar as trans?

tysm,,, 💙💙

music taste/sharing:

mmm that's a rlly interesting question!! I'm honestly not sure abt whole albums, but like I kinda think abt songs. I tend to give Adam my music taste since I feel like it'd be preeetty similar? so like eve 6, placebo, pup, the front bottoms, grandson, lucky boys confusion, etc.! I also feel like Adam is just one of those ppl who Loves introducing ppl to his music, so Lawrence has heard quite a bit of it. if he's super fond of a certain song + recommends it to you, that's his way of being like "hey I love u listen to this" and Lawrence Does, every time. good ones r enemy by eve 6, just one he rly likes, n blind by placebo, one that does remind Adam of he and Lawrence + that's why he shared it. (one of his favourites is nancy boy though and watching Lawrence hear that one fr the first time... an experience. amazing)

Lawrence's music taste... omg. I love this man sm. I Adore the hc though that he ends up listening to a lot of pop just bc diana loves it, so catch him humming the words to one of those songs while he's washing the dishes, tapping his foot n everything while Adam is cracking up at the table (but he's got heart eyes so). HOWEVER bc of this I also feel like Lawrence absolutely loves like. 70s thru 90s music. so like. NKOTB, the beach boys, wham!, beastie boys (can u IMAGINE this man rocking out to no sleep till brooklyn. Adam in the passenger seat like "holy fucking shit." now u have), bon jovi, chicago, peter gabriel, phil collins/genesis, etc.!! (Adam rlly likes older rock n so does Lawrence so they're both just like !!! and it's smth fr them to share!!)

but like one of his BIG faves is elton john. specifically, goodbye yellow brick road, honky cat, rocket man, and mona lisas and mad hatters. THOSE r the ones he shares w Adam, bc they're his favourites!! (ngl every time honky cat comes on Adam is just like "omg u fucking dork" but his face is Always 🥺... sometimes he plays it when Lar's having a bad day bc it helps a little bit,,) but ones he shares w Adam specifically bc it reminds him of them? tiny dancer + your song. it's not even that it's particularly fitting, just tht Adam comes to mind when he hears them, and Adam... needs a moment bc. omg. that is so fucking cute I love you??? oh my god??? (some of Adam's faves are bennie and the jets + take me to the pilot!)

Adam affectionately refers to Lawrence's music taste sometimes as a blend of dad rock + boy bands. it's jokes bc he loves that kinda music too sometimes but Lawrence is always like Hey. It's Good Isn't It? ejkhfja little jokey arguments omg. overall they're very open to each other's music taste and regularly are like "hey I heard this n it reminds me of you" and it's just rlly sweet.

more abt Adam being autistic:

okay so Adam has like. a pretty intense oral fixation. sooo many times Lawrence has caught him chewing on the erasers of pencils, the drawstrings on his hoodies, sometimes his nails (which is actually one of his more harmful stims, since he picks them down so far and ends up with really painful fingertips; Lawrence keeps an eye on that one and like. lets him know when he’s doing it bc sometimes Adam genuinely doesn’t notice), stuff like that. and like he talks to Adam abt his stims + abt what kind of stim toys r out there, so he kind of gets this idea to get Adam a chew necklace. Adam hasn’t rly had one b4 but he knows of them, so Lawrence gets the idea to just. surprise him w one!

he gets one fr moderate chewers bc he figures that’s what Adam is, and he’s honestly. veeery particular abt the one he chooses. like he puts more thought into it than he probably needs to kjdfkdlksj he’s like that when he gets Adam planned gifts, he can’t help it,, but! I like to think he gets this one fr him (which, again, is one I have in teal!) in claret, which is a deep red; he likes this one bc Adam could chew on it w his back teeth if he wanted + he could just hold it in his mouth if he wanted while he works on things. Lawrence’s not... nervous abt it, he feels pretty confident that Adam will at least like it, but he’s never like... gotten smth like that, so he’s a little bit anxious to see if it’s okay.

so when it actually arrives he’s careful that He is th one who gets the mail so he can keep it a secret, and then after dinner he’s like “so I did a bit of research n I know you like chewing on things so! I got u smth!” and he’s still a little shy abt it but Adam is already looking at him like... 🥺 you what?? so Lawrence hands him the lil box n is like “I wasn’t sure what specifically to get but I hope this will be okay,” and like. when Adam takes it out he’s just like. Oh. Like An Actual Necklace. and the first thing he does is put it around his neck and just pops it in his mouth to test it and the Look on his face is sooooo happy. he’s just like “I love this??? I can just Hold It!!” and Lawrence is happy too bc that was smth he thought about!!!

neither of them cry or anything like that but they’re definitely both just like “I love you so so much” @ each other. n after that Adam usually always has it w him; he holds it in his mouth when he’s developing photos, chews on it instead of his nails + when he’s feeling nervous, sometimes chews it w the back of his teeth while they’re in public. Lawrence is just so happy he likes it and Adam rlly appreciates the thought + loves tht Lawrence put so much thought into it,,,

I also kinda honestly like the idea that they Both get spinner rings? bc Adam gets one and Lawrence is curious abt it so he’s like “yeah try it see if u like it!” n Lar realizes that they’re actually pretty cool n wldn’t mind having one. he gets a rly simple black one while Adam gets a rly pretty metallic blue one, and it actually helps a little bit to calm Lawrence’s paranoia sometimes when they’re out n about,, I hc that after Jigsaw he still has issues w that a little so. it helps n it’s nice!!

to elaborate on smth I mentioned briefly b4, Lawrence is suuuper helpful w pressure stims!!! he gives the most amazing bear hugs and he gets rlly good at interpreting when Adam needs one (when he’s nonverbal, he just sort of. nudges Lar w his shoulder. Lawrence figures out what this means pretty early). he doesn’t mind giving longer ones too, if that’s what Adam needs. he likes being able to do that for him, knowing that it makes him feel better/at least happier when he’s not upset n just wants that pressure. and of course Lar is pretty fond of being close like that; it’s something he didn’t rlly allow himself before, so as long as Adam is okay w it, he loves being able to indulge that want.

to branch off of this, something they regularly do is Lawrence will stretch out on the couch or the bed and Adam will lay on him. he’ll have his arms wrapped tight around Adam’s middle, so there’s still some of that pressure, bc it helps to make Adam feel calmer + also just bc he likes it. they do this a lot during storms or just quiet nights in where they’re not rlly focusing on what’s on TV. I know I mention this one a lot in my fics but I’m So So fond of it,, Adam just lets out this huge sigh and Lar can feel the tension in his body start to seep out and it’s sooo nice. again, another form of closeness Lawrence adores + loves knowing it helps Adam too!!

mmmm little thing, Lawrence might not suuuper understand Adam’s echolalia, but he doesn’t make fun of it/tell him to stop, and that’s like. smth that Adam is so completely unused to. he’s not at all used to ppl just accepting it, having been belittled/punished/made fun of fr it by both his parents + his peers/teachers n other adults, so like he’ll be repeating stuff from movies/shows/memes (bogos binted...) or outlining the steps of a certain task he’s completing and Lar will just. nod. he’ll check sometimes, just 2 ask if Adam is talking to him, but he’ll just smile n nod when Adam admits that he’s not n so Adam stops feeling like... nervous abt expressing that around Lar and it’s nice. it’s good. I feel like Adam’s very at peace w being autistic, but he’s always been a little anxious abt that particular facet just bc of how much backlash he’d faced for it b4, so like to have Lawrence just treat it as nothing out of the ordinary/accept it as it is... it means a looot to Adam. so so much.

Adam coming out to Lawrence:

okay so I feel like this is def smth Adam was pretty nervous abt,, it’s smth that former partners hadn’t reacted particularly well to, and Lawrence is very very important to him + the most stable relationship he’s probably ever had (after they work thru things in the beginning of course), so he’s kind of worried abt how it’ll go. not that he thinks Lar is like, a shitty person like that - honestly, Adam rlly only expects to get some awkwardly-worded questions - but he’s been wrong b4, and while he rlly rlly hopes he won’t be this time, he can’t help feeling that anxiety.

and he tries to plan it out, he rlly does, but I think what happens is this: he’s doing his t shot in the bathroom (I don’t think he Intentionally hides his vial or anything, but it is behind stuff in the cabinet), the door’s not closed or anything bc he’s not using it/taking a shower, n Lawrence is walking around looking fr him n sees that the bathroom door is slightly ajar + hears Adam sigh as he completes the injection (he finds breathing thru it helps). so he walks in while Adam’s doing it, needle still in, and Adam just. freezes. and is like oh dear god hi. I am not doing drugs.

and there’s a brief pause before Lar just blinks and is like “is that testosterone?” bc I def feel he’s at least encountered one or two trans patients, so he knows a Little bit, and Adam just. doesn’t talk fr a minute. opens n closes his mouth, blinks, and nods, bc what does he say? Lawrence follows that up w “you’re trans?” and Adam nods again, still so very nervous, and Lawrence just smiles n is like “you know that’s fine, right? it’s okay - wait, were you nervous??” and Adam just NODS AGAIN bc he’s experiencing So Many Fucking Emotions right now, and Lar just proceeds to help him care fr the injection site after, bc he might not have ever done this task w t in particular, but he does know basics obviously.

it’s not until after Lawrence gently rolls a bandaid on that Adam talks, and his voice is so so small, and he’s just like, “I swear I was gonna tell you, I was just scared, not ‘cause I think you’re a bad person but like I’ve had ppl react badly and I wanted to plan it, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to like keep it from you,” and he’s just babbling but then Lar just sort of leans down and hugs him and says, “I can’t say that I’m particularly knowledgeable about this sort of thing, but I love you, and you being trans doesn’t change that, okay? it’s fine. we’re fine.” and I don’t think Adam cries, but he gets very close bc of the relief and the love he feels. he definitely shakes a little bit, holds on a little too tight, but Lawrence doesn’t mind. he knows Adam needs this. so it’s okay.

Adam Definitely feels lighter after telling Lawrence, and he also stops hiding his t vial in the back of the cabinet. and he feels kind of goofy about how much better he feels, how he feels like there’s this huge weight off of his shoulders, but he decides it doesn’t matter bc Lawrence accepts him and only asks a couple awkward questions and he knows those questions don’t come from a place of malice, but from a genuine interest + wanting to gain understanding. + Lar does his own research too, a little bit, and it’s smth they talk abt sometimes. just... the fact tht Lawrence Wants to educate himself means a lot, bc he cld just... not? like his parents. but he wants to learn. wants to understand better. n that means everything to Adam.

(little side note I think is funny though: sometimes when Adam loses his packer he’s just like “Lar have u seen my dick??” and it’s. they both crack up over it oh my god. fucking dorks)

#saw #lawrence #adam #asks #long post #tysm!!!!!!!#I love getting asks frm u!!#I personally like th idea that lar is also autistic but this wasn't written w that in mind #ALSO I HOPE. adam coming out to lar wasn't. suuuper cliche or anything lmao #I take a lot frm my own trans experience but my experience is not universal so!!!#+ side note: I have a chainshipping playlist n I cldn't fit it in here but one of the songs on it is two coffins by against me!#do w that what u will #💙#again thank u th other night was shit n seeing this helped

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