#nina kosaka x y/n

[literaturedog]

🍻🎰

Is it time?

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Genre : angst :(

Tw : none

Pairing : Nina x Streamer! reader ( platonic )

Characters : nina and you

Story : You're graduating..?

A/n : NINA IS GRADUATING 😕😕

Scrolling through Twitter, your heart sank as you stumbled upon a barrage of sorrowful tweets about Nijisanji.

The melancholic sentiments filled the virtual space, permeating the air with a tangible heaviness. With a tinge of sarcasm, you muttered, "What is happening now?"

Compelled by curiosity, you navigated to Nijisanji EN's Twitter account, hoping to find some answers amidst the flurry of tweets.

As you delved deeper into the timeline, an ethereal stillness settled over you, overshadowed by an impending revelation.

Your eyes are fixated on a tweet that stood out from the rest—a message emanating from the official Nijisanji EN account.

"Thank you for your continued support to Nijisanji and Nijisanji EN," it began.

Your heart skipped a beat, sensing the gravity of the impending revelation. A shiver coursed through your body, foretelling the impending storm.

Was this yet another graduation? You couldn't bear the thought, praying fervently that it wouldn't be as grave as bidding farewell to a beloved member.

With trembling hands, you clicked on the tweet, your heart pounding with trepidation. As your eyes scanned the words, a name etched itself into your consciousness—Nina Kosaka.

Time came to a standstill. Those two simple words, Nina's name, bore down upon you like an avalanche. Your voice faltered as you whispered to yourself, "What...?"

A rush of emotions flooded your mind, and your instinct compelled you to reach out to Nina directly. In a flurry of clicks, you hurriedly searched for her on Discord and found her profile.

As your fingers tapped out a message, your heart throbbed with uncertainty. "Nina? :( "

While awaiting her response, your mind was consumed by a mixture of anxiety and despair. It was then that another notification jolted you from your thoughts.

It wasn't a message from Nina, but a new tweet, further unraveling the truth. You clicked on it, your eyes scanning the words with trepidation. It was Nina's own words, her letter detailing the matter at hand.

As you read her heartfelt letter, tears welled up, cascading down your cheeks in a torrent of raw emotions. The realization of her imminent departure felt unbearable.

Shaking, you returned to the Discord app, hoping for solace in Nina's words. A message was sent to you.

"Yes, honey?" she replied. "Oh, you probably saw the tweet. Yes, I am graduating soon."

Your heart shattered into a thousand pieces, the pain echoing through your very being. In a trembling voice, you managed to type, "What will I do without our beloved fox mom :( "

The desperation and longing bled through your words, a cry for solace in a time of despair.

But as you hit send, a glimmer of hope shimmered amidst the despair. Nina's response echoed through the digital realm, her voice filled with empathy and strength.

"It's okay, my dear. Though I may be leaving, our memories will forever be cherished. I'll still be here, supporting you, even if from the shadows," she reassured you, her words carrying a bittersweet solace.

A surge of emotions washed over you—gratitude, sadness, and a profound sense of loss. The tears continued to flow, each drop carrying the weight of shared experiences and unspoken words.

"Let's treasure the time we have left, yeah?" she added, her voice resonating with wisdom and love.

With a trembling hand, you typed your reply, your voice a blend of vulnerability and determination. "You've helped me through so much, and I can’t thank you enough for that. It's hard to say goodbye, but I will forever cherish our time together and hold it close to my heart."

And so, as the clock of fate ticked onward, you resolved to embrace the remaining moments, immersing yourself in the beauty of the present.

Nina's impending departure became a reminder of the fleeting nature of life, urging you to treasure the connections you hold dear, even in the face of inevitable goodbyes.

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<- MASTERLIST

-> savor your time with your oshis, especially after the leaks of another person graduating soon

[kyannae]

petals，↷ mysta rias.

summary: mysta can't decide if you like him back. as he sits in the park waiting for your arrival, he decides to play a little game. (gn reader)

category: fluff!!

warnings: gn!reader. mysta overthinking a little, love confession....? mika and nina at the bonus 🤭

a/n: hello there, this is my first nijisanji fic- I'm really sorry if any of the characters seem ooc here, I'm still trying to get a hand on writing them. nonetheless, thank you for reading!

petals fall to the ground as someone picks apart a flower and says, "they love me, they love me not." the pile of petals on the ground grew steadily with each phrase flying out from his mouth, and soon the detective ran out of stray flowers to pick apart. he huffs, deciding to close his eyes while he overthinks about the situation, a bouquet of flowers behind him, hidden from view.

'what if they don't even like me? maybe it was a mistake to call them to meet up here. should i just cancel it?' mysta thought, blowing a few stray strands of hair out of his face. however, before he could cancel, you had appeared.

"heyy mysta!" you greeted the boy, before your attention turned to the pile of petals on the ground. "jeez, do you hate those flowers or something?" you joked, sitting down infront of him and gathering the petals in your hand before throwing them up in the air for fun. a couple of them landed in your hair, while a few landed on mysta's hat. you let out a laugh, and mysta swore that he had never met anyone as precious as you.

"so, why did you ask to meet up today?" cutting to the chase, you asked the question. the question which was the real deal. mysta blushed, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. you patiently waited for an answer, seeing the male freak out a little.

'oh no, what do i say? hey, will you be my lover? ew, cringe.' mysta grimaced at the thought, before randomly blurting something out-

"marry me."

silence ensued, you blinked in confusion while mysta felt like he was going to explode. "i-" you were about to speak up, before mysta beat you to it.

" oh shit- i meant- i meant-" he stuttered, hands gripping the grass tightly, close to pulling it out. "will you...be my lover?"

he used it. he used the calm voice. now, it was your turn to be flustered. your hand flew to your mouth, trying to stop the grin starting to form. mysta pulled out the bouquet of flowers he was hiding, like a magician. the detective looked away, blushing- waiting for your response.

"you- you serious, mysta? yes! of course! you have NO IDEA how long i waited for this." you lunged towards him, enveloping in a hug. mysta felt the wind getting knocked out of his lungs at the force, putting the flowers aside to avoid them being crushed.

“yeah?” he chuckled, smiling like a dork. touching your foreheads together, you replied.

“yeah.”

looks like he was worried for nothing, after all.

extra: “YOO my bro’s actually able to get a lover!” mika exclaimed from behind the bushes. nina hurriedly pressed her hand over the girl’s mouth. “hush, mika. mom needs the tea.” the woman giggled menacingly, seeing y/n and mysta interact.

© kyannae

[thecontumacious]

halloooo sandrine~! it's me cookie anon ✨

oh wait, is it alright if i call you by your name? :0

anyway,, i kinda have an idea (a bit sad at the start but it has a happy resolution).

• you can totally skip this if you don't feel like doing it •

i was thinking if it'd be alright to request for shu this time because i learned that he was supposed to be part of the offline collab but wasn't able to due to conflicting schedules... ; - ;

so like, what if since he wasn't able to meet up with nijimilo...y/n surprises him with an offline collab of their own instead so he won't feel sad/lonely/left out ; w ;

no sad shubert, only happi shubert bc shu deserves all the happiness in the world ♡

(aka: cookie anon shu brainrot hours lmao)

thank you as always o7

- cookie anon 🍪✨

(Not) Alone

pairing: Shu Yamino x Streamer!GN!reader a/n: yes u may call me sandrine hehe ALSO FIRST TIME I READ THIS I JUST KNEW THIS AWE MAN POOR SHU :( i hope he can finally have some time to go to an offcollab with everyone as luxiem! while we wait for that, here's something to fill in that gap ;)

warning ahead: this is 4.3k words just so you know that this is not a quick read ^^

reminder that all my work and others in the fandom are purely fiction and intended to entertain, not to be projected irl. 

Shu Yamino [NIJISANJI EN]: sorry guys i can't come this time, schedules and all that :/ Nina Kosaka [NIJISANJI EN]: aweee that sucks a lot Mysta Rias [NIJISANJI EN]: NOOO BROTHER Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: luca can't come and shu too? Ike Eveland [NIJISANJI EN]: ahhh that's such a shame Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: i'm sorry to hear that you guys:(

and you knew from how shu had been talking to you privately how excited he was to see if he could fit himself between his schedules to meet up with everyone as nina had planned

you of course couldn't come just yet, but with shu being part of luxiem, it was really crucial that he came

the moment he came for his daily discord call with you that day, you can tell from his deflated voice that he was so disappointed

you sigh, leaning a bit closer to the mic, "it's okay, shu. next time, alright? there will definitely be a time where you can finally go. all as one team as luxiem!"

he chuckles, but the joy supposedly associated with the gesture was very faint. seemed like the sorcerer wasn't in his right spirits.

"i hope so. i was really looking forward to it too," shu mumbles

"hey come on, don't be so down. if you're so down, everyone else will be too. look at the bright side, shu! the longer they wait, the more exciting it'll become when you actually do come, right?" you attempt, however once more, that comes fruitless

shu sighs in response. "i guess so, and thank you, y/n, for trying to cheer me up. but i think i just... i need some time. that okay with you?"

hearing his breaking heart made your own shatter to pieces. shu was such a kind and talented person, there's nothing in this world he didn't deserve

at least that's what your biased heart would say

you nod, "mhm, totally fine. you go get some rest and try to take your mind off of it, alright?"

shu bids you goodbye for the day and you're left to your own devices, forced to get back to work and get some stream related things done

continuation utc!

it's pretty obvious how you and shu met

being under the same v-tuber brand, it was easy to meet up with yamino and because of your job, you guys met up often and there was no shortage of you collabing together on each other's channels

the fandom adores you two so much and luxiem loved your company, so it was as if written by fate that you two would connect

initially, you thought shu yamino was pretty cool. and he is!

but then it wasn't just a first impression thing. it was for all the impressions after.

he was humorous, intelligent and witty, absolutely kind and there are times where you just feel like putting your hands on the screen to pinch his cheeks from how cute he is

especially the times where he gets flustered or teased by the chat

did i mention you're the only one who lets you call him nerd without getting mad?

chat usually (jokingly) attacks you for getting that kind of privilege, but it becomes fuel to their fire of adoring you two

"it's just a crush. he's a coworker," you told yourself, catching yourself daydreaming about shu the nth time that week.

but again, like how the stars had scribbled it for you on the pages of your fate, they don't plan on letting you just to have a crush on the sorcerer

as times passes by, more frequent calls, more collabs, you can't help but just ache when shu excuses himself for the day, wishing you goodbye

though most times you dismiss him after that, you'd be lying if you said you wish you could stop him from disconnecting

when days were bad, you find yourself calling out to shu and it doesn't help that he immediately comes to your side without fail

shu became a safe space for you, one you didn't dare let go

a working wifi connection and a device was literally the only way to keep you interacting with shu

would anything change if you were physically there with shu...?

you hoped it would

what would it be like to hold his hand? did he have soft hands or more calloused? probably the former...

you slap yourself on the head, "stop it, y/n. he's your friend and co worker. how could you think like this?"

lady fate says otherwise as she keeps bringing you and shu together.

and today, she's just done it as nina went to private message you.

Nina Kosaka [NIJISANJI EN]: hey y/n! Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: hey ninaa what's up? Nina Kosaka [NIJISANJI EN]: i couldn't help but think Nina Kosaka [NIJISANJI EN]: what if you and shu did an offcollab together? like just you two?

you wished you could kiss nina for that brilliant idea

Nina Kosaka [NIJISANJI EN]: i thought it was pretty unfair that shu couldn't come and since you and shu are pretty close, i thought i'd pitch that idea in with you if you aren't too bothered by it Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: NINA LEMME KISS YOU THAT'S SUCH A GOOD IDEA! Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: i have a bit of work left to do but once that's done, i can probably schedule a bit of time with shu!! Nina Kosaka [NIJISANJI EN]: oh that's great!! i'm so glad to hear that >w<

you smile upon the thought of meeting up with shu yamino in real life. a dream wasn't it? you imagine all the things you could do with him

probably a lot of streaming together obviously, trying new things, showing each other what they have in your local regions

but then you had a thought

shu was incredibly sad after he said goodbye to you today

what if

you met up with him as a surprise?

you go back onto discord, texting nina

Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: ninaur Nina Kosaka [NIJISANJI EN]: what's up honey Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: do u think management has shu's address? Nina Kosaka [NIJISANJI EN]: i think so yeah, why? why not just ask him? Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: i plan to make it a surprise actually Nina Kosaka [NIJISANJI EN]: OMG OMG OMG THATS SUCH A GOOD IDEA Y/NNNNN GO FOR IT MANAGEMENT HAS IT I THINK GOGOGO ASK

with nina's support, you immediately go contact management and indeed they did have his address. after hearing your request and reason behind it, they are more than happy to give it you and even wished you good luck

after that, you decided to pretty much speedrun your work while planning up your trip to see shu

book tickets, plan stream schedules, accommodation...

it sounds stressful, but to you, all that is shrouded under the idea of meeting up with shu

thinking that it was good idea to consult to his friends within luxiem first, you went to vox for advice

"hello?" he calls out from the other line

you smile, "hey, vox! sorry, do you have time? i have something to talk about with you."

"oh yeah, i'm free. what's up?"

you tell him of your plans and nina's initial involvement, laying out what your basic idea of what you'd been doing

"holy shit, that's such a good idea. and i could definitely tell shu was genuinely super upset he couldn't come with us this time," he agrees. "i'm sure he'd be really happy to see you, y/n. and are you sure you're here to just cheer him up?"

you could hear the mischief in his voice then and you turn a thousand shades red at what he's insinuating

to be exact, vox actually knew that you were emotionally attached to shu. from the way you behave around him, the way you talk to him, the way you treat him

the demon can definitely see that you have some sort of admiration towards the sorcerer

"oh hush, vox. i just want him to cheer up. when i talked to him today on call, he was so so sad. i couldn't bare to see him like that."

and that was true, this applied to vox as well

"you know, i've never seen anyone care so much about shu. of course, we all care about him, but yours is different, y/n. you know that right?" vox points out

you stay quiet, absorbing his words

perhaps he was correct and maybe it was time to admit so

"maybe. i just... want shu to be happy. i sound selfish but if i could do something about it, i would."

vox chuckles softly, "of course you would. and thank you, for continuing to care and worry about him for us in luxiem. also, y/n, would you consider maybe... confessing to him about this?"

huh??

"vox, no! i could never. he probably doesn't feel the same. he doesn't right?"

now you were just denying your heart's own wishes. of course you hoped shu would feel the same, but something else told you that he probably didn't.

and that maybe it was safer to stay quiet about things

you couldn't take such a risk with shu, one of your closest friends

vox hums, "not exactly my place to tell, love, but i have an inkling that it might be mutual."

"stop joking around, you sadist."

he laughs, "i'm a sadist yes, but no, i'm not joking. i seriously think he might have the same feelings. from the times i watched you and shu stream together, there's something so different about him. like, he... laughs more? he looks so much more like himself when he's around you. and i'm 400 years old so i have valid experience with this."

you roll your eyes, "why thank you, milord. anyway, it's still safer for me to say nothing about it."

vox sighs, "alright fine. but consider to do it one day, okay? you guys have been super close for a long time. i thought this one time you get to see him in person would be a good time to do it."

you see his point, you really do. and you would consider confessing to shu about how you feel if only it weren't because of your damned self esteem

days go by and shu has already started to get back up on his feet. the mention of not going to the offcollab tasted bitter on his tongue but he learned how to cope with it

you on the other hand couldn't wait to board that plane and drive up to his house, surprising him for an offcollab together like what he would've had with the luxiem boys and nina

"you know what, y/n? you seem to be in a very excited mood lately. has something happened that i didn't know of, huh?" shu asks you one day, feigning offense like you have been purposely neglecting to tell him something important

you merely giggle, the surprise hidden beneath your tongue, "you're overthinking things, shu. nothing much has happened. i've just been feeling super happy lately is all."

his momentary silence speaks to you in a way you catch that he's not sure to accept your answer

"okay, i'm glad for that..."

you laugh away at his comment, changing the subject quickly to avoid exposing yourself

and that's it!

today's the day you finally get to see shu!

with the rest of the luxiem boys informed of the wonderful surprise (and vox's never ending teases and encouragement), they send you all their support and you're off to see the sorcerer

you'd caught wind beforehand that today shu would be streaming by the time you got to his house, so you planned to show up at the end of his stream

the entire journey there, your stomach was doing flips and you simply couldn't take off the grin on your face

after reaching land, you catch a cab real quick and make yourself over to shu's address. you check your phone and shu is indeed still streaming, nearing the end of his two hour mark.

it felt as though every step you took was lighter, your heart also beat a lot faster the closer you got

phone in hand, you text shu

Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: yo shu, u still streaming? Shu Yamino [NIJISANJI EN]: yeah just about to end Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: good! Shu Yamino [NIJISANJI EN]: um okay???? why????

but you purposely don't answer him, leaving him confused and even on stream the last you checked it. it left you giggling and when you reach the destination the driver informed you of, you get off quickly

you then ring the doorbell

from the inside of the house, you don't really hear anyone. but after a few minutes, you hear some shuffling and rushed steps towards the door

just like the fast pace of their footsteps, your heart too thumps just as rapidly

there are a few clicks sounding from the door then it swings open

you see pale skin, dark hair adorned with its trademark yellow highlight at the top of his head

and then his purple eyes

you thought they were pretty online, never thought they were mesmerizing in real life though

"y-y/n?????" is the first thing shu says, seeing who it is at the door who dare disturb him during his work. his pointy mouth drops open and for a full minute he doesn't believe what his eyes are perceiving

you wave with the biggest grin on your face, "are you gonna say something, shu?"

he shakes his head out of his trance and without much to say, he lunges forward and squeezes you with all his might

you laugh out loud and hug him back, you were about to let him go when you realize that shu isn't letting go just yet

he keeps holding you and there was not a single opening where he was going to ease the pressure of his embrace

but you weren't complaining either

it was a full few minutes before you feel shu shift, "sorry, i was just... super happy you're here. you of all people."

wh-what did he mean by that?

you giggle nervously, patting his back, "i'm glad. i thought you were so upset you couldn't join the boys for the offcollab so, here i am. actually no, nina came up with idea. i couldn't leave you to be alone, could i?"

shu pulls away and gives you a smile you've never seen on him. or was it because you had never seen him smile in real life...?

whatever it was, the look in his eyes was just so gentle. like you were touching the soft fur of an animal. it brings you warmth. and safety.

"all that matters is that you're here now. thank you for making the time to come," his hold on you lingers, like he was reluctantly letting you go (or you wished it to be). shu gestures towards the inside of his house, "come in! i'll get you a drink. your trip was probably exhausting. you can sit on the sofa."

you nod and make yourself comfortable while shu sees to your beverage done

wow

shu yamino in the flesh

his warm hug from earlier left a pleasant burn on you. you wanted to feel it all over again

later, shu comes in with two glasses of iced water. he places one near you and the other near where he sits.

"man, it's so, so good to see you! you're shorter in real life," he grins

you slap his arm, "oh shut up. i'm not that different."

"hmm, nah."

"shu yamino! is this how you welcome a coworker who's gone overseas for you?"

he shakes his head while laughing, "that was your choice, y/n!"

the teasing aside, you were genuinely having a lovely time with shu around, the unnecessary butterflies flapping about in your stomach. but you didn't mind it this time.

you just had to make sure you'd never feel like this around shu, for his sake. even despite vox's encouragement.

...maybe

"look, i haven't set up next week's schedule yet but i kinda wanna plan our offcollabs together now. you okay with that?" the sorcerer grins, looking at you expectantly. you giggle as you nod. he smiles, "cool! so, where are you staying? a hotel?"

"yeah, it's not too far from here. actually, i should probably go check in--"

as you stood to grab your phone, shu suddenly grabs your wrist. your heart stops for the faintest second

almost as if not realizing what he had just done, he slowly lets go of your hand and looks away.

"sh-shu?" you call out

he clears his throat and offers you a courteous beam, "so-sorry! it's just that um... i thought you could just stay here in the guest room. hotels can be pricey, you know?"

he-

you internally inhale, looking away as your ears turn red.

why did he have to be so kind?

"we-well, i can just cancel my booking then, if you don't mind me staying here."

shu shakes his head rapidly. "no, of course not! i offered after all."

way, way too kind. no, wait he's just being polite... right?

after settling in, your stuff already organized and with shu loyally by your side to make sure you have everything ready. he asked if you needed more towels, any extra chargers, toothbrushes and the like...

your heart simply couldn't take it when he continued to fuss if you had everything you needed

"shu, i'm good. i promise. i properly packed my things," you touch shu's shoulder, giving him a reassuring smile in hopes he could finally calm down

he laughs, rubbing a spot at the back of his head, embarrassed. "sorry, it's just that it's been a while since i had someone over to stay. and it's you no less."

every time he said that like you were some special vip coming to his house made you feel like one, as much as your little crush on him said.

the first night at shu's house was mostly just staying in. with shu even cooking dinner for you

you never figured he was a decent cook, mentioning once that his go-to meal was instant noodles

that night, he also invited you to play together for the first time

sure, you two played a lot online but it's always different when you play games together in real life. as shu's eyes focus on the screen with much intensity, you couldn't help but giggle to yourself, catching his attention immediately

he raises an eyebrow at you, "hm? what's up with you?"

you pause, closing your mouth with your hands. it doesn't help that your face is bright red

well, shu just caught you giggling to yourself looking at him. why wouldn't you?

"no-nothing! just thought of something funny is all," you lie through your teeth. but knowing shu, he probably saw right through you

he stares at you head on and you start to feel antsy

"shu...?"

now it's his turn to change red?

stop beating so fast, heart.

for a full minute, you and shu swapped no words with each other, broken only by an incoming discord message from your phone

you look down and see it's from vox

Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: hey love how's it going with shu? met up with him okay?

you gulp, stealing a glance at the still red shu before deciding to message vox back

Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: yeah! he let me crash at his guest room instead of a hotel Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: oh he did, did he? i see:) Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: shut up vox he's in the same room as me rn Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: OH HE IS, IS HE? Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: y/n my dear do u kno how proud i am of you for progressing so far? Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: VOX U BETTER SHUT UP BEFORE I BLOCK U Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: hey now no need to play dirty with your long time buddy vox eh? anyway Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: have you finally considered actually confessing to him soon?

you blink and bite your lip.

the idea was scary, intimidating. all for the right reasons.

shu was your closest friend and one you wouldn't want to lose all because of your silly little crush on him.

okay not little but still

then again, if he was a good friend, he'd just gently reject you and still be friends anyway right? there was no way shu would slowly distance himself from you because of all that

"y/n?" the said man calls out to you, finally breaking the terribly uncomfortable silence. you hum, looking up at him. "you sort of just... zoned out there. you good?"

remembering again that you were still there with shu, you shake your head and slowly stood

"i'm alright, i promise," you reassure him, holding your phone to your stomach. "i'll be back in a minute okay? i gotta respond to this real quick."

without rly waiting for his response, you rush out of the room and into the far end of the hallway

Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: sorry i needed to get out of the room for a sec Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: and here i thought u actually confessed Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: vox istg Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: u kno what nvm serious talk Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: what would happen if he rejects me? Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: hmmm idk for sure but y/n i feel like he's gonna accept you. he probably has a crush on you too you know Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: like i said a few weeks back, i see the signs on him Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: just answer the question will you? i just wanna be sure Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: alright finee Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: in my opinion shu wouldn't be the type to suddenly not be friends with you anymore Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: he's a pretty chill guy and would never want to hurt anyone, especially you Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: you rly think so? Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: yep that's what i think

so, maybe... maybe it was actually okay to confess to him soon?

in the end, you were only afraid that you'd lose shu as a friend if things went awry

knowing that he'd still be there for you like before even after the confession made it seem less daunting

if only by a bit

you sigh, your head starting to feel heavy

Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: alright fine i'll think about it Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: for real?? Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: yeah just not today Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: okay if u say so love, take it easy Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: i believe in you and shu Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: thanks vox that means a lot

and you really did think about it for the next few days

when you went to bed the first night, your hands were sweaty at the thought of confessing to shu about how you feel

in the morning, your head pounded because of the lack of sleep but it soon washed away when you saw shu with a slight bedhead and only in his pajamas

it made you smile and your teeth rotten at the sweet sight

but this reminds you of what vox told you last night, thus now your head is filled with nothing but that

the first few streams went successful too! the yaminions and your own fandom were thrilled to see you having an offcollab as the other luxiem members had their own

to the chat, it seemed not too different from how you and shu would collab online

but to you?

you wished it could be like this for as long as the world let you

his smile, his jokes, his voice, the way sometimes his hand would brush against yours, the way he taught you patiently about a game you could not get the hang of

geez

it all toppled over inside you, your feelings

until you simply couldn't handle it anymore

shu noticed this unfortunately, touching your shoulder to catch your attention as you two sit casually to rest after a stream

you turn to him. "yeah?"

"you seem to be distracted lately. are you actually okay?" his brows furrow with concern and the beating of your heart quickens more than usual

it felt like vox's words were tugging at you, urging you to tell shu how much you wish you could be more than friends, how you wish you could protect his smile and be the selfish reason you make him so happy

if shu wasn't here, it would honestly make you cry at the reality those were not real

you take a long deep breath in and take shu's hand off your shoulder, your fingers enjoying the momentary smooth skin of shu (a quality of his you had discovered yesterday) before placing it down on his lap.

you smile and began, "shu, i have to tell you something."

sensing this was no joke, shu put away his phone and properly faced you.

he returns your smile, nodding at you expectantly

"okay," you whisper to yourself. then you look him in the eye, "shu yamino. i... i've been crushing on you for a long time."

then the smile on the sorcerer falters

confidence -1

but you decide to pull through. "si-since a few months after we met. i thought it was just admiration. i tried to control it because you were a coworker. but i just couldn't. i kept falling and it wasn't until a couple weeks before i left to come here that vox encouraged me to confess."

shu still wasn't saying anything.

confidence -5

"on the first night staying here, vox actually texted me about it. that's when i thought, 'fine, i'll do it.' so... yeah, here i am," you squeeze your eyes shut for a bit, then open them back while hoping that shu was finally going to say something

but still, much to your heart's dismay, his lips are sealed shut

honestly, you didn't know what else to say either

sh-should you just give him time to find an answer?

you gulp, reaching out to shu, "hey--"

"sorry."

you pause

"i-i don't think i feel the same."

part 2 here!

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