#nico catinasink is yearning

[catinasink]

have you eaten yet? (I care about you) do you think you can drink some water? (I care about you) how has your day been? (I care about you) how did you sleep last night? (I care about you) are you hungry? (I care about you) do you want a bowl of rice? (I care about you)

[catinasink]

im deeply in love with you and i want to make out with you sloppy style /no romo /no plato

[catinasink]

"my lips are so chapped i need someone to kiss me i mean someone to kiss me i mean someone to kiss me i mean someone to hold me and tell me its gonna be okay i mean kiss me i mean hug me i mean kiss me i mean cuddle with me i mean kiss me i mean kiss me i mean apply chapstick to my lips by kissing me i mean" - me, a minute ago

[catinasink]

i want to hold them all in my arms and never let them go

[catinasink]

chat i think it would be lovely if someone lovingly gave me a choppy transgender haircut

[catinasink]

im gonna have some aspec thoughts bitches

okay so lets start with arospec

romance. what the fuck is that. i dont get it. what exactly qualifies as romantic. i wouldnt mind a qpr, i think, and i woudlnt mind doing romantic things i guess? thats like, kissing and cuddling and saying ily, right? i dont think id mind that. thats like. bellusromantic or smn right? and i kinda want that. i guess. sometimes. so i go for cupiromantic label usually.

but sometimes im completely repulsed by the idea of romance. i dont want to be flirted with, i dont want to imagine what that is, i dont want to be loved that way. but sometimes i want to. sometimes i like the idea of that. so i call myself aroflux for that

ok acespec now

sexual attraction. i dont have that. i never look at someone and think "oh i want to fuck them" but i do think people are hot or pretty in like. an aesthetic way i guess ? anyway yeah. i enjoy making sex jokes and shit but im definitely somewhere on the acespec. prolly aegosexual.

also again, i can get really repulsed by the idea of sex as well - i dont want to hear jokes, i dont want to think about it, i dont want to acknowledge it exists, but sometimes i just want to make so many jokes and innuendos about it and i feel comfortable doing it. so. i call myself aceflux for that.

ok aplspec now

platonic attraction. again. what the fuck is that. i dont get it. i dont ever look at someone and think "oh i want to be their friend". yet im good at making friends? somewhat? like i dont actively want to befriend someone but i will talk to you if you talk to me and we have similiar interests and im interested in talking to you. that might cause me to befriend you (has happened before) but unless theres something we have in common or theres something to actually talk to you about, then im prolly not going to interact with you. it tends to take me a while to consider someone my friend so i call myself demiplatonic ig? i dont really feel platonic attraction though.

im pretty sure im sometimes plato repulsed. so. i just call myself aplspec though; sometimes demiplatonic, might start calling myself aplflux though just to get all three fluxes because i think it might work for me anyway because. you know. everything about me tends to fluctuate.

queueing this post to post in like a week because i dont want to actually think about this rn

written 4/16/24

[catinasink]

chat i. i think a qpr might fix me.

[catinasink]

how was your sleep? (i care about you) do you want to take a nap? (i care about you) have you eaten yet? (i care about you) are you hungry? (i care about you) are you tired? (i care about you) are you feeling well today? (i care about you) do you want a bowl of food? (i care about you) do you want to go back to sleep? (i care about you)

[catinasink]

chat i think a qpr would fix me

[catinasink]

chat i need to be stabbed rn

[catinasink]

something about queerplatonic + alterous attraction

i feel one or the other or both for people sometimes, almost like a "replacement" for platonic attraction? i think i feel both for my partners

for pissboy, queerplatonic attraction. i think

for a couple other people, queerplatonic attraction (namely ####, #####, #####, + #####)

idk something i noticed

hm

[catinasink]

oh god i am . yearning rn.

[catinasink]

chat would a qpr fix me

[catinasink]

cgat I actually want them so bad it's not even funny

[catinasink]

ok im feeling kinda sappy rn so im just gonna.

ughhh ollie. i could talk about them for hours tbh. i love her so much and he's always there for me and its just. god i love faer so much and <333 i just want to hug them and tell him its going to be okay, you know? like. god i love her. i just want to take away all of its pain and i just love xem so much and luns just always i <3333 i want to fucking murder his mother but im not gonna go into that- i just. aaaaaaa i love zer so much and <333 i just want to hug him and i want to kiss her and i want to cuddle them and i cant wait for when i can move in with it and i love luns voice and i want to i just <3333333 and buns so pretty btw i just <333 gay panic whenever i see him or whenever she talks to me tbh

aaaa crispy. i love it so much and i could ramble about it for long too. its voice is honestly so pretty?? and its so fucking <33 i love talking to it and i want to get rid of all its pain too and i just wanna hug it and give it a kiss on the forehead and shit and i want to cuddle it and i want to talk to them both for hours and i want to hug them both and i just i love it i love god i fucking love them both so much and its so silly and i love talking to it so much and i keep saying that but its true and i fucking aaaaaaa i love it <3333 i love talking to it i love interacting with it and its so pretty though and its voice is so pretty and its so funny and <3333333 god i love it so much

and umm miles. yeah hes just. ik we dont talk as much as i do with my other partners but i love talking to xem, yk? theyre so silly tbh and i think he and i should interact more :3 xes so funny and idk . yeah. him.

and god theres a couple more people i could rant about but this post is getting long and im so sorry this is probably kinda annoying so if you read this aaaaaa thank you-

[catinasink]

why do you take some time to respond sometimes am i bothering you am i annoying? do you want me to stop? do you want me to shut up? i will. ill do anything for you please just tell me. id walk off a cliff if you said the word id commit a murder i would do anything please. just tell me. am i irritating? should i shut up? should i talk less? please tell me you mean so much to me. i care about you please. i would let you stab me i would let you punch me i would let you kill me. please.