#nic your post reminded me i wanted to make this one

[partiallypoison]

if you met a member of mcr the day of/before your concert and could request one song, what would it be? for me i’d request early sunsets over monroeville, even knowing that they probably wouldn’t play it.

[stacygetsit]

****One of the common sentences that the doubters have used is that Luke and Nicola are not together because we see no signs of it on the Internet. I have read that one line sooo many times. I think people forget who Nic and Luke are. The reason we feel we know them like they are family is because on the tour they shared themselves with us we got to know them. But let's dive into some ideas I have. We wouldn't have known that Luke and Nic have even hung out outside of work and the only way we know is because it slipped during an interview. Ask yourself when is the last time you seen them hang out? Maybe when Luke had the play. We know Nic went to it but that was to promote his play. Nicola has never put it on the internet before the times they have hung out. We also know Nic wants to keep her private life separate and private. So could she be hanging out with Luke and NOT post? yes of course. If you pay attention to her last two set of photos there were pictures of people we didn't have any clue she was even around. Nicola clearly doesn't show us every single person she hung out with in 2024. So why do we think her relationship with Luke isn't taken in a serious matter. In the past five years we have had no indication that's she hung out with Luke (outside of work like events) and the only way we knew was by word of mouth can't we say it's fair to say she still doing it now? Yes we can assume that it's happening. She has stated that her relationship with Luke is unlike any relationship in her current life do you realize that included HER FRIEND JD. So again in order to understand what Nic is like with her man we have to look at how Nic was with her past relationships. The issue is we don't even know whom she has dated. Again I remind all of us we didn't know she lived with a man till again she said it. So clearly you can make an argument that unless Nic wants us to know we will be kept in the dark. This again is her past behavior this is realistically the only thing we have to understand what she would be like now. So my question to the doubters is why do you think she will react in any different type of way then she has in the past? So the doubters would say well that's because now it would be harder now to hide now that she is a celebrity. Well I have something to say about this. Yes her fame has risen but she not in the realm of Jennifer Aniston. Go ahead and ask your coworkers if they know who she is. Unless they have watch Bridgerton then honestly they might not. That's not me taking away anything she accomplished but it is a fact. Not everyone know who she is. Of course her fandom has grown BUT is it to a point that she being photographed everywhere she goes no. I want to remind you all that the photographer that took her photo in the Pub said on DM podcast he didn't even know who she was. And as much as I hate saying this it was "fans" that pointed DM toward Nic. I remember some of them sharing a screenshot of conversations they have had with DM. But that's a paparazzi that didn't even know who Nic was. That's how she able to fly under the radar. Which leads me into my next point and that is if DM thinks she dating JD then would she be looking for sightings of Nic and Luke NOPE. The paps are so concentrated on JD and Nic that it's not even in the realm of possibilities to look for Luke and Nic. I must applaud Nic and Luke for this. Good job. Yes did they take some heat. Yes especially Luke. But I can see why they took that hate on for each other. Now it makes sense to me why they weren't claiming these other people. One it wasn't true two plausible deniability. They never once stated they were dating these other people that was fans that assumed. Also I must add guys there are also places celebrities can go to get privacy or y'all it's called they are just choosing to say indoors more. And I honestly think Luke is phenomenal with sneaky around unseen. It's not unrealistic to assume he's not perfected it now for Nic.

[dogwittaablog]

NOLPATS BURNER ACCOUNT

SO HERE IS THE TEA AND BREAKDOWN ON NOLANS ALLEGED TWITTER BURNER (I also want to apologise for the initial hostile reply to the anon that sent it in I was just taken back cause there weren't upfront receipts).

If you’re wondering how this alleged account was figured out, an anon said someone tweeted about it and decided to look into it... and then now we are here...

SO HERE WE GO!

His FIRST account that went under @ gollpatter the account got suspended (He tweets about it on his second account, but you’re still able to see everything).

So now the account he is using the new one is @ shottergallas.

(So just remember there are two accounts. I know some can get confused lol).

WARNING: I know people are going to be running up the accounts anyways but will say just a heads up you will be finding shit that you don’t like mentioning SA and misogynistic comments, some of the comments are towards the incident of WJC 2018. (If I’m right it’s brought up on @ gollpatter)

Now we may all be here like okay… how do we know or assume it's actually him??? Here is my personal observation

If you look at the following on the first account @ GOLLPATTER. You can see that there are about 4+ people on there that he follows that are obviously his friends and has Steinbach Manitoba in the bio. Some of the content and influencers he follows or interacts with on there also align with his recent or past followings/likes/engagements on Instagram from celebs, influencers, sport hosts and even onlyfangirls (I’ll even get specific if I have to) . His interests are evidently displayed throughout his account... things like MMA, golf, hockey, Joe Rogan, Theo Von and other typical guy shit, but as I said if you followed up on him or paid attention to his Instagram activity it adds up. 

(Screenshot of his followings the only thing is they don't follow back)

An Anon that initially sent me the sub on why she thought or had her own conclusions to why she thought it was him which I’ll be copying and pasting the sub down below and adding the links to the info she provided! To make everyone’s lives easier.

here’s the account introducing himself as goll patt: (X)

here’s the account calling jets/ava pond hockey last night: (X)

here’s that account excited about nolan’s friends ‘coggie’ return to the ‘national’ 6 days ago: (X)

and the related headline where Dylan Coghlan, Nolan’s former teammate returned to the NHL from the AHL:  (X)

here’s that account being called pat by its friends in the reply of previous tweet: (X)

account being call pats/patty by friends:  (X)

same account agreeing with hate on the vegas golden knights as a franchise, praising nic hauge and his wife:  (X)

The hockey talk on the account that pop up usually I noticed has pertained to Vegas and the Flyers (some slight shady tweets mostly but nothing over the top) Maybe just some coincidence but I mean hey… we all know what teams he’s played for. Plus there are some Travis Konency mentions on there as well…

So “his” account interacts with the same 2-4 twitter accounts and these accounts tend to tag him in post about Nolpats which I found a bit ironic…

So the last to this which I thought was another eyebrow raiser, was another burner account that has some mutuals but isn't entirely active. Also tagged his account in a post regarding a Tik Tok. The context of the Tiktok was how most likely pro athletes do see the things you post online about them.

So would like to end this off with reminding you that this ALLEGED and there’s no real confirmation it’s him. You’re able to form your own opinion and perspective if you decide to look through and analyse the accounts yourself. I could go on more on some other details, but decided to just touch up on the things that stood out to me. I also was limited to adding content like photos and videos.

[the5thcellar]

Hi, I recently stumbled upon your blog and I am so glad I did! While I’m very sorry for all the troll hate you’ve received, I like the sassy way you’re handling them. I’m trying to find the humor in why so many people are pressed and feel like they need to defend something that you haven’t even denied is real. And just because you have a different opinion, they cannot handle it. Reading your responses, and reading the responses of other people with whom I share similar sentiments, has made me laugh and feel better over the last week. I’ve been desperately trying to find other posts/people that have similar vibes because this whole… situation-ship has been a bit much. I also appreciate your reminder that “no matter how good a man seems, trying to justify anything they do is still a sure path to disappointment!” 

I was wondering if you had any thoughts about Luke’s social media lately? I’ve read some points about how messy his social media presence has been handled (or mishandled) over the past year+ and how it did not help with the way everything played out. Also, I feel like he’s either turned on notifs for Nic because he’s been very diligent about liking all her posts, or maybe, he’s finally gotten a team to handle it. I just feel like everyone is in crisis comms mode, trying to wrangle back control. Just genuinely curious because it’s what I’ve been pondering over for the last day or two. Thank you in advance for your time if you answer my ask!

I'm so sorry this took me awhile - I started replying it in the morning on the way to work but decided I needed to gather my thoughts more.

To the first part: I completely empathise with how the entire situation has just been so "much" - it really has. It seems so silly, but somehow, whether or not two people I DON'T KNOW are in love or not in love, are best friends or are not best friends - can affect so much of my mental and emotional wellbeing.

I know I'm being parasocial (it seems to be the internet buzzword of the moment). But let's be clear: almost EVERYONE online - everyone who has written in to my ask box, who has commented, who has liked - everyone on twitter and tiktok who has talked about this - they're all just as parasocial. Because we're all assuming and casting aspersions on people we do not personally know. No one online who engages in discourse has the moral or ethical high ground. We are ALL in the gutter together (that said - I believe the gutter has many levels 😂).

IN ANY CASE - I just want to assure you that what you're feeling is not some atypical affliction. It is normal to feel awful that something you believed in and something you felt happy about is untrue. It is normal to look for other people who feel the same because misery is always better with company. It is normal to feel disappointed even as you remind yourself that men have been useless since the dawn of time.

The best counter to all these sad, awful feelings is to remember that life is a cycle. That life is complex. And although I'm saying this for the millionth time - that life has many, many grey areas.

As a kid I thought Zanessa was everything. Then they broke up, and she got together with Austin whom I hated. For years I seethed at the very mention of them. And after almost a decade... they also broke up. And not even 2 years after that, she's married and with child.

For a long time I also thought Brangelina was everything - you can't imagine my devastation when they divorced and I found out Brad is a complete dirtbag. But at the same time that I felt this horrible upset - I'm sure TONS of other people were feeling vindicated because they were fans of Jen A.

There are just SO MANY other stories like that. I mean come on - JLo and Ben Affleck. On again, off again, finally made it to the altar ... and now they're headed for divorce.

Chris and Mariska - both married to other people for 27 bloody years (or maybe longer) - and still making it very clear they are each others soulmates - and NOT platonic ones btw.

Tony and Kerry - WHAT EVEN ARE THEY? Perhaps the only pair on the internet that has people rooting for cheating and affairs 😂

Lessons: don't let a long term boyfriend stop you from finding a husband. Don't let a husband stop you from finding your soulmate. Don't let your soulmate stop you from engaging in a late, great love affair.

All crazy, contradicting statements distilled from all the above real life stories.

It makes one thing very clear to me: I can believe what I want to believe about Luke and Nicola. Because no one fucking knows what is in the future. They could get together next month. Next year. When they're in their 70s. No one can tell me SHIT about what I believe - not when life is clearly full of incredible twists and turns.

So fuck it. Fuck the haters and the antis and the naysayers. I can ship them till the day I die and no one can tell me any different. Because how could they? They literally canNOT !

To the second part: this is an easy answer and there's no need to think too much into it. Luke's social media has simply undergone an extensive renovation by his agents and team in anticipation of him becoming a big star (whether or not that will actually happen remains to be seen). All highly personal, "non-aesthetic" posts of his have been archived - his posts are all related to work and his coworkers. He has many posts with Nicola because he / his team knows those get the most engagement - and the more engagement he gets, the better the IG algorithm works in his favour to push his OTHER, non-Nicola or Bridgerton related posts to people's feeds. I don't think anyone is in crisis comms mode tbh. Maybe Nicola panicked a bit after she posted that tiktok that everyone took wildly out of context. But beyond that I don't think the wider audience gives af who he's dating - it seems like his personal life is very big news only because we keep searching about it and talking about it and so it feels like EVERYONE is. But if you step outside the online bridgerton fandom bubble ..... no one cares. There is a HEFTY portion of netflix viewers who watch bridgerton without EVER going online to read about the actors.

Long story short I think Nicola and Luke will become even MORE conscious about what they post - but I don't believe there was a crisis in the true sense of the word. And although Luke's team clearly handles his socials he obviously has access to it as well. Btw - all celebs have someone who handles their socials I'm sure Nic does too, just that she's also on her own account a lot. I don't know if Luke has his notifs on for Nicola's posts but even if he does I don't believe his consistent likes mean anything much. I mean...he also diligently likes all of Antonia's posts 😂

Social media isn't much of an indicator of honesty to me ... as someone whose work heavily involves it, everything is curated to a disgusting degree.

What I put more stock in is what we can see - and what we can see of them when they DON'T think about being seen - which is to say, all the unconscious, natural moments between Nicola and Luke - the vibe around them both, and the easy way they breathe and exist together.

That's what makes me such a big believer in their bond.

[millennialsarecoolkidz]

Sometimes I would like more clarity from our main characters, not because I'm a nosy bitch (I am but it's not what I'm talking about here) but because the fandom lacks a code of ethics and online behavior.

Nic talks sometimes and we can see it's working, it's not magic but let's remember the "normalize not filming strangers..." and how the fandom helped to clean her tags.

Some things shouldn't even have to be told so I won't extend myself on this too long. Just a quick reminder: don't go under their's or their loved ones sm post to make comments about their private life, their bodies, their sexuality,... Don't troll or harass anyone, and if you're a big account with a lot of visibility, be clear about the fact that what you share will never be an excuse to go trolling or harassing real people. Yes everybody can have an opinion but freedom of speech knows limits.

Now I'll address some messages that I think they have sent to the fandom:

-Focus on their craft, their achievement, her charities and not their personal life. Yes I'm the biggest of the hypocrites saying that as I'm engaging in the shipping side of their fandom. But in my defense, on my other accounts, I only like and share these aspects of their public activities. And I think that this is what matters, give engagement to their achievement and not to gossip pages, don't worry if something pops there, you'll know it on Twitter, TikTok, reddit or Tumblr. Because engagement is money and money is given to paparazzi or used to keep those pages and mags that pressurize them. Don't call me naïve, oc it's a system and they are tools that celebrities can use too. But too much engagement in their private life leads to a level of scrutiny that is really toxic. So let's keep it quiet so they're not privileged targets anymore.

-Stop speculating publicly about someone's sexuality, Nic has liked a few posts about it. Again, I'm the first one making jokes about Nic's gay bestie in private but I'm not doing it publicly. Jake makes it clear that he's not straight, that's the only thing he wants to be known publicly (plus, for the dummies here: sexuality is a spectrum and can be fluid). And sure, gay isn't an insult but it's not a valid argument. You can't erase history or be blind to actual discrimination that this community is facing. And talking about sexuality isn't like talking about your favorite vegetables, I would be really pissed if I was in Jake's shoes. Again let's be empathetic, joking and gossiping privately about someone who wants to be a public figure is fair game, acting as the mental health of another human being doesn't matter will never be ok.

-Stop speculating publicly about pregnancy. It's a sensitive topic for millions of reasons. I really hope that Nic isn't aware of this narrative but I doubt it. Even if you think that she's hiding it with clothes, corsets, non alcoholic beers and cocktails, respect it.

-They're more than ok with the Lukola shipping, they even fuel it. Nic brings Luke a lot on her sm and interviews. Yes she uses the word friendship but it's buried under a discourse about their unique relationship/love or with pictures couple coded. Luke is less present online but the Lukola content (not even really polin if you think about it) is, proportionally to his online activity, loud. You can see it as you want: as a professional obligation or at least because they are pushed to do it by shondaland, because they find it cute and as a compliment to their acting skills, because they are secretly together, because it gives positive engagement on their sm, because they are obsessed with each other and hope that one day lukolas will be right (wink wink), because they enjoy to showcase their unique friendship,... Or it's a combination of more than one of these reasons. The fact is that they are ok with this shipping and only this one. BUT it's not an excuse to be unhinged or disrespectful, let's keep it to celebrate their cuteness and unique bond.

Now I'm going to address more speculative topics but that's how I read their "message" about Jake and Antonia. I regularly joke about how Nic is copying the way Luke has "launched" Antonia but in reality I think those two situations are handled very differently.

-Antonia is Luke's girlfriend. Around the world tour he let us know that she was his girlfriend. It wasn't really loud, but clear enough to that the invested fandom, especially the shippers, can know that he was in a relationship. And since that, he keeps reminding us of her "status" in his life. He shares nothing else, he just likes every post on her grid and coordinates posts (or at least agrees with her posting just before or after that we know his location) to let us know that they haven't broken up. Again you can think that this relationship isn't real, that it's a cover for his relationship with Nic; that they are not endgame and it's an insecure relationship; that he uses her to annoy Nic when she shows Jake; or that they are hot and heavy and a modern version of Cinderella. The fact is that Luke has said that he is not a "big romantic gesture" guy but he wants us to acknowledge Antonia as his girlfriend, and the ones making her the villain, who is lying to us when she shows they are together, need to explain me why Luke would tolerate that and keep liking her posts. Again I'm really aware of some of her posts that were a little cringe, but girl, I would have endured half the hate she got, at her age, I would have been the worst troll you would have ever seen.

-Nic doesn't want, for now, to label her relationship with Jake. Her behavior even hints at denying a romantic one (I've already said it in another post, the jakolas should keep it really quiet imo) but she's really loud about the fact that she cares A LOT about him and that he is the best. She doesn't hide their closeness even if she gets a lot of criticism for that. Again you can think that he's just a friend, that he's a rebound, that she uses him to make Luke jealous or that they are so in love, the fact is she's clear that she loves him.

So two strategies, one labelling the relationship without sharing anything more, the other showing the deep bond without labelling it, but it should lead to the same behavior from the fandom: leave the significant others alone, they care about them and they are accepted by their entourage (and that even if you don't believe that the public narrative corresponds to reality).

I think all of this is basic decency but as it seems as there is a championship about who is the better fan, we could start to follow those rules. Because... Yeah... If you can't be kind, at least be vague. IYKYK

[vianwrites]

Okay, so for some weird reason, Tumblr isn't letting my replies stick. So, I'm so sorry to the people who replied to my post about Fanfic commenting. I'm not sure why the replies are not sticking, but I've already sent a support ticket about this issue. Just know that I've read them and I'll just post my replies here for the meantime... @nic-stars It really is heartbreaking. I remember getting replies that even theorizes what would happen next in my stories. Those were really interesting and fun. There were even really great constructive criticism ones that helped me grow as a writer and ones where you can feel connected with the reader and really being part of an incredible fandom. @aconstructofamind I feel fortunate that I haven't gotten a mean comment since returning. I'm all for criticisms as long as they are helpful, constructive, and worded in a way that doesn't demean or belittle anyone. It's really disheartening if meanness is now the norm, even when it comes to comments in fanfiction (or any fanwork). Also, I LOVE your handle. :D @pippinoftheshire Your handle made me smile, haha, thank you for that. Anyways, this should really be something brought back, and not because like we're starved for it (but, yeah, we are. a bit. haha), but also because it's a way for us to connect with our readers, too. Like, tell us how you feel (but in a way that doesn't demean or belittle what we made and poured our hearts out, please); tell us if we wrote something wrong and how can we make it better; tell us why you hated what this character did in the story or why you agree with their actions. Connect with us. We are part of the same community. @typicxlcato Don't be scared to be the first! Comments are always appreciated by authors. Even just a single phrase or just giving a quote that you loved from the story and telling the author you loved that? That can make anyone's day. :) @amliza By all means, haha. I'm currently on a commenting spree as well on all the fanfic's I'm currently reading. :D @she-elf4 The thing about an author/writer answering their own posited question of whether what they/we wrote or not is good is that we (often) are biased about it. That's why we need comments to tell us in what area we needed improving or if we did well. It's the same reason why book reviews exist. It's not just to tell others of why a book is good or bad, but to give an author a sense of what they need to improve on. I've never heard of commenting rules before, so that's a bit shocking for me. The only rule I adhere to when writing comments/reviews it to be kind and if I want to criticize an author for something, to do so in a constructive, respecting manner because I have to remind myself (and know from my own experience) that whoever wrote what I was reading poured enough of their time and talent (and maybe even a bit of their heart and soul) into that work. Honestly, though, I am curious about what these rules you speak of are.

@13flags Who ever said I (or anyone who agreed with this post) am/are only writing for reviews? I don't know where you got that from? Haha. The post I made pointed out that the reason I would love to get a review is for feedback, to grow as an author. If you write with only your own lens to view your own writing with no one to critique or comment on it, how will you know you are doing well? The reviews/comments I had the honor of getting from my own fics were kind enough to provide constructive criticisms, which is always good for an author. Also, it's nice to get validation for your writing, even if your objective is to share your stories to the world. Comments/Reviews are like symbolic to some (maybe most?) writers that they had been heard and can even be bridges for found friendships (as is the case with me. I made good friends from them). So, it's really nice.

[where-theres-smoak-2]

What did you think about the scene where Aleks used the tether to visit Alina while she was sleeping? I got very Gothic Romance vibes. Obviously, it wasn't ideal for Aleks to be in her bedroom without her knowledge or consent, but at the same time he didn't take any liberties. He caressed the shape of her body without directly touching her. It was almost like you saw both the Dark & Light sides of Aleks at work. He was far bolder than S1, but he still managed to not cross any major lines by keeping his hands to himself.

Gothic Romance vibes for sure. It actually kind of reminded me of twilight and that scene where bella finds out that edward has been coming to her room while she slept for the last couple of months and he says 'I like to watch you sleep'. You're kind of left trying to figure out if that is romantic or creepy. I think the reason it seems a bit creepy is because its that idea of someone being in your room, whilst you are in the vulnerable state of sleep, without you being aware of it, in the same way someone who may wish you harm may break in, like an intruder, stalker or killer. As you said its that kind of grey area where he is in her room without her knowledge and consent and at a time where she is vulnerable, which obviously isn't great, but I also don't think he has gone there with any intentions to harm. As you pointed out he caresses the shape of her body, showing that he longs and aches for that touch but he doesn't actually touch her, he won't cross that line.

I think the context of the scene is important as well, I mentioned this in another post, but Aleks visits Alina in her sleep twice and both times it is right after he has gotten bad news and is clearly spiralling, he goes to see Alina as a way of calming down, of grounding himself. But lets talk about this particular scene where he caresses the shape of her body, the first time he goes to see her. Right before this he had just learnt that david had stolen the morozova journal as well as any hope he has of understanding his condition, ie the nichevo'ya and how they are poisoning him and how he can't fully control them, as we learn in the finale. So when faced with this reality where he is dying and the one source of information that may help him is gone his instinct is to go to Alina, she is a source of comfort to him and what he says during that scene is important to, that one day she'll realise the truth and that when she does she'll come back to him where he'll be waiting with open arms. He is clinging to this dream and using it as a way of keeping himself going. But I also don't think it is all about the fact that the merzost is killing him, its about the fact that he can't control the nichevo'ya and I think he is scared that they'll harm Alina, so visiting her also allows him to reassure himself that she is safe.

A little detail I noticed in the scene when he visits her while she sleeps the second time, this is after he has discovered Baghra and Genya escaped, is that he reaches out to her and begins to move closer to her with his hand outstretched but then the merzost veins appear on his throat and then on his hand and he quickly pulls out of the tether and the veins fade. He then has a conversation with Fruzsi his tidemaker and he is instructing her to keep searching for Alina despite it not being the most strategic move. But he also talks about how she is with Nikolai, this is something he seems distressed about and at first I didn't think much of it, but then I remembered the scene in 2x04 where Aleks lures Alina away from the fighting because he wants to keep her safe. He says that the nichevo'ya are targeting the Lantsovs and that they can be unpredictable. Which makes Aleks now being stressed that Alina is with Nikolai make alot of sense, he is worried the nichevo'ya will attack Nikolai and that Alina will get hurt in the process as they may see her as a threat as well, it is at the mention of Nikolai and the sun summoner that the nichevo'ya begin to appear in the scene where he is talking to his tidemaker, after all, almost like their names triggered them. I think Aleks wants Alina found so that he can keep her somewhere safe and know that the nichevo'ya haven't harmed her.

As for why he may be visiting her in her asleep as opposed to when she is awake like he has when using the tether at other times, I think it comes back to that comfort thing. He's feeling unhinged and angry and betrayed and like his grip on the nichevo'ya is slipping and so he wants, needs, to see Alina so he can feel a moment of peace, by going to her when she is asleep he can see her without also having to be met by her anger, without the betrayal and hurt he'll see in her eyes if he were to visit her while she is awake. These visits are because Alina is Aleks' peace, which I do think is romantic.

[bump1nthen1ght]

Thicker than Water (Demon x Reader) Chapter 1

Pairing: Female Reader x Gender Fluid! Demon

Genre: High Fantasy

Warnings: Arm Injuries, Several mentions of blood

Word Count: 1870 Words

Summary: A summoning gone awry ends up in your favor

Chapter 2

A/N: Alright, I know I literally just posted a demon story but this post showed up on my dash and my god if I have never been more inspired to write a fic. I legit wrote this in 2 hours in a frenzy. Also I plan this story to be multi-chap, but still rather short, so maybe 3 parts in total

Before that night, you had never known what nearly-passing out felt like.

Your mother had done it, once or twice, usually after a particularly stressful day at the shop. If you didn’t check on her between your studies she may forget to eat entirely, your father as well. But you had been lucky; Someone had always been there to catch her, to cradle her head and spoon-feed her strength back.

On the forest floor, surrounded by the smell of your own blood, you have no such luxury.

The black spots flickering in your vision blend into the desne canopy above you and your tears only muddle your sight. The iron and copper of the summoning circle drawn around you drown out the scent of fresh pine and grass, while your ears can only focus on your own heartbeat and the bickering of the four boys.

Oh, that’s right, they’re still here.

It seems you had lost more fluid than you realized, probably because of your incessant crying. You had tried to stop the flow, but your brain was losing coherent function with every second. The boys conversation sounds far away and hollow, bouncing off your eardrums and confusing your sense of direction

“You idiot, I told you not to go for the arm!”

“We needed a lot of blood!”

“But she needs to read the ritual dumbass! She can’t if she dies!”

Ah yes, the ritual, it all is flooding back to you now.

Having received a private education from your father at your family’s apothecary, you were already prone to isolation as a child. It didn’t help having no siblings, nor a lacking natural talent for friend-making. Although you had lived in the city all your life, the young people your age knew very little about you, and you them.

You knew they had rumors about you, The daughter the apothecary hides away; That your gaze can turn people to stone, that you can curse and poison people with a couple words and the right ingredients.

The truth was you weren’t so glamorous. You knew your way around a medicine cabinet, sure, but nothing about poisons or magic spells. You didn’t have any special abilities to compensate or explain your reluctance for socialization. Just some overprotective parents and a shy disposition.

So when the handsome postmasters-son began to pay you special visits, you let your guard down. You let him walk you to and from the market, memorizing your weekend route. You let him in for a bit of tea late at night, especially when it seemed so cold, and told him where the spare key was kept. And yes, you even told him about your favorite secluded spot in the forest, where the sounds of civilization were far away, where you could be alone.

And here, in these last moments of your life, you can’t help but feel so naive.

“Hey, hey!”

A boot taps your cheek, shaking you out of your revelry. Your glassy eyes look over to your right.

It’s one of the local merchant’s boys, you think his name is Nicholas? It doesn’t really matter. All you knew about him was that he was a bit rough around the edges; always nicking things from pockets, looking up ladies skirts, and skipping his lessons. That’s what your dad complained about anyway.

A page is shoveled in front of you, dangling over your face. Your eyes take a while, but focus on the words. Nicholas’ boot heel digs into your neck.

“Read it out loud, or we’ll kill you.”

Clearly I’m going to die anyway dumbass, why should I help you?

You might’ve retorted, if you were in such a physical condition to do so. But instead, you do as you're told, and start speaking.

To your left, the postmaster’s son, Richard, sucks in a breath with anticipation. Any false composure he had while luring you here is gone, his feet tapping with excitement as he holds your left arm and lef bound spread eagle.

Holding your right leg is Markus, another merchant boy. He picks at his teeth.

“What are you guys going to wish for?” He whispers. It goes in your ear and out the other, too focused on forming coherent sentences.

“A full-harem of babes, obviously.” Simpers Hunter, the son of a landlord. He isn’t ugly, only a bit plain, and has enough money to boot. Compared to the other bachelors in town however, he has had little luck in procuring a courtship.

“A million coins could get you that and more, idiot. That’s what I’m wishing for.” Whispers Richard.

“What are you going to wish for Nic?” Asks Markus

“Oh my gods, will you guys shut the fuck up?”

Nic snarls, unconsciously digging his heel back into your throat. You choke and stutter, but keep going. The runes around you, written in your own blood, begin to glow.

All of the boy’s eyes widen and they step back from you. Your limbs sink like dead weight as the words begin to flow out your mouth with no thought. The paper with the chant drops to the ground, out of your sight, but it's like your brain has been reprogrammed; You know the rest, know it in your bones.

The grass begins to simmer and burn under the summoning circle, smoke swirling into formation above you. When the final word whispers out of you, you feel your body go lax. You don’t even remember tensing up

I guess this is it. Sorry Mom, Sorry Dad.

You clench your eyes, just hoping the demon will be quick. That it will at least leave a recognizable corpse.

“Holy shit.” You hear muttered, unsure by whom.

Your eyes are closed, body teetering on the brink of unconsciousness, but your senses are still intact. A hot wave of breath washes over your face and the ground below you trembles with heavy footsteps. The boys are quiet but you can hear their hearts pounding. They thrum with life, while yours slowly fades.

“Why have you summoned me, mortal?”

Even half-dead, your muscles tense in fear. The demon's voice is deep and resonates like a crowd talking all at once. It reeks of inhuman power and cracks like thunder.

A brief silence passes, before Nicholas finds his courage.

“We have come to ask for a wish.”

Later, when recounting the story, you will mention that the demon looked over to Nicolas, unamused, despite never seeing it yourself. The demon huffs, the heat of it blowing over you once more.

“I don’t believe I asked you.” The demon mutters. The cacophony of voices blend together into one, bland and emotionless. Even in your state however, you are able to decipher a couple of louder tones which overpower the others. They seem...angry.

“But...you…”

“I asked….”

Your eyes snap open as a wet droplet lands on your cheek. Lingering above you, drool seeping from their unnaturally sharp teeth, is the creature. It’s face resembles that of a goat, but sharp fangs stick out from their lower lips. Their eyes are golden and shine in the night, piercing right into yours. Despite the part of your body screaming out in terror, another part feels oddly….comforted. It’s why you don't startle when they brush a hand against your cheek, their thumb wiping away your tears. Their palm is warm, not like a blistering flame, but like a thick quilt. Like hot chocolate on a rainy day.

“......What do you need of me, little one?”

Their hand, padded and calloused, slides down your arm, closing up the large gash on your inner bicep. In another movement, they do the same to the other. Power and vitality seems to sink back into your body, drip by drip.

Words escape you, but not Nicolas.

“Excuse me, demon, but we're the ones who summoned you.” The sarcastic tone of his does little to hide the quivers of his fear, especially when the demon's neck turns toward him at an unnatural speed. Still, he persists. “Not her. And we want-”

“Do you take me for a blind fool?” The voice bellows, sending all the boys to their knees. Markus clutches his ears while Hunter whimpers on the ground. Nicolas falls back to the ground, eyes widen.  The demon stands to their full height, several feet above all of you. “Do you think I was born without smell, without sense?” The step away from your body, swiping at the ground with their fingers, taking a small bit of your blood with it.

The demon sticks their thumb and forefinger in front of Nicolas’s face, causing him to yelp and fall onto his back. “Is this your blood which forged the connection? Was it your words that spoke me into existence? Was it your body which came to the brink, wrenched open the door and pulled us both through?”

Nicolas, trembling like a leaf, shakes his head no. The demon’s eyes jerk up to the others. “And was it any of these young men?”  

Richard furiously shakes his head, while Hunter stays collapsed on the ground. Markus pushes himself away, hands still clamped around his ears. The demon sneers, before turning and walking back to you.

The demon kneels before propping your upper body up with a gentle touch. A comforting claw rubs your lower back while another paw rubs the tension out of your shoulders.

“Now, mistress, what may you ask of me?”

Your muscles may no longer tire from blood loss, but your mind truly feels like it’s on the brink of breaking. The demon, with fearsome fangs and a soft look, looks to you for an answer.

“I-I…” You mutter as the demon continues to massage your back. They hum.

“Take your time, it is alright. Rituals are difficult, I can only imagine the toll your body feels.” The mass of voices have synchronized, fading from a hundred to a single, harmonious tune. It is cavernously deep, but pleasant. It reminds you of the portly older man who used to read stories aloud every holiday.

You feel your body unconsciously turn towards your captors. Nicholas stays stuck to the ground, the whites of his eyes almost glowing in the darkness. The others have slowly moved to their knees, all terrified with shaky limbs, and look like they might make a run for it. Markus is slowly inching towards Nicholas’ shoulders, trying to lift him up to his senses.

For the first time in your life, a deep, boiling hatred burns your skin.

Cowards. You sneer, with all the malice stored in your reserves.

“I want-I want…” You stumble as the anger bubbles out of your belly. “I want them to hurt. To feel humiliated.” Nails bite into the palm of your hand, letting out blood as you clench knuckles. “I want everyone to know what they’ve done, who they are, every fault they’ve ever been guilty of. I want them alive, but I want them to burn.”

The demon smiles, pulling you in for a hug. You collapse into their embrace, keeping your eyes locked onto the boys, those rats. The demon hums a contented tune as they rub your back.

“As you wish, my master.”

[justanotheronechicagofan]

9. Halstead Hug

series summary - Will the Halstead brothers be able to reconnect with their sister after 5 years? chapter summary - the Halstead siblings have a reunion Will Halstead, Jay Halstead, Madeline Grace Halstead (OC), Connor Rhodes [mentioned] 

series masterlist  | main masterlist

Will was currently sitting in an old school diner booth, viewing the people pass on the street. Seeing Hailey’s text that she was worried about Jay, he had wasted no time in setting up a Halstead brothers lunch. He was glad that Jay had a partner that had his back the way Hailey did. Will knew that Jay had always struck lucky in partners - apart from that asshole when he was in patrol - but he could tell that Jay truly trusted Hailey. Hell, she probably knew some things that no one else knew. Will would be lying if he said that he didn’t notice the way they looked at each other too… Will watched the large truck pull up and a few seconds later, the detective walked in - the head to toe black complimenting the red and white diner.

“Hey Man” he greeted as he stood up, hugging Jay. “Hey.” Jay said sitting down, “Why the lunch?” “Got the night shift tonight, why not?” he replied, trying to sound casual. “Uh huh.” Jay said unconvinced, starting to peruse the menu. “Soo- You okay?” Will dragged out. “Yeah. I’m good. I’m thinking the monte cristo with fries” he flashed a smile but Will knew better. “Jay -” “Mads texted this morning. Asked if we wanted to meet up this weekend’. I’m free both days. You?” “Wha- Hold on. She knows I’m back? How’d she take it?” “Not the question. So, you free or not?” “Yeah. I’m free Saturday.” he answered promptly, wanting to know Madeline’s reaction. “Cool. Saturday it is then” Jay said, shooting a text. “So? What did she say?” the doctor asked again, worried about the outcome. “She didn’t say anything, didn’t get to tell her” he said, his lips curving at the screen. “Wha- Jay, you sure this is a good idea? Maybe you should see her first” Will rambled. “No, we’re gonna go see her Saturday Will” Jay stated matter of factly. “Jay. Think about this, do we wanna throw surpri-” “Will. It’s been 5 years. I think she’d want to see us together. If you don’t wanna come then fine.” Jay said curtly but Will was unphased. He knew how much pressure Jay was putting on himself for this to go right.  “No no, of course I’m coming little brother. So you’re thinking the monte cristo huh?”

- That Saturday -

“You sure this is the place?” Will said getting out of the truck, 15 minutes early as usual as it was going anywhere with Jay.  They found themselves on a tucked away street in Lincoln Park, in front of what looked to be a house - a two story with tiled roofs and a charming small arched wooden door. “Only one way to find out,” Jay said, leading the way.

They were greeted with the aroma of coffee and the warmth that enveloped the atmosphere - different shades of wood and plants hugged the walls as glass pendants like jewels, lit the space. There was a sense of calm even as the chatter filled the popular coffee shop. The brothers parted to try and find a spot but came back almost instantly.

“You find any?” Jay nodded towards Will. “Nope, you?” Will asked, popping the p. “Mmm” Jay shook his head. “Check upstairs?” he said, already walking towards the staircase - decorated with various frames and artworks - but stopped at the hand painted ‘reserved’ sign hung on the post. “Huh. Guess we’ll just wait ti-” “You must be Jay” the two brothers jumped at the sudden voice.

Will held back a chuckle as they turned around and the detective faced the older woman whom he guessed to be in her late 70’s. Jay in his signature all black and the woman in full technicolor - A monochrome striped jacket over a stark white shirt and green patterned trousers, adorned with a chunky resin necklace and a multitude of multicoloured bracelets. She was of a petite stature with short brown hair, smile lines showing on her golden olive skin. “Uhh yes?” Jay said confused, not knowing how she knew his name. “Oh, I got ahead of myself” she laughed, the pink lipstick complimenting the twinkle in her eyes. “I’m Rosa, I own this little place. You gentlemen wanting to head upstairs?” “Sorry. We’re supposed to meet up with our sister and were hoping for seats up there but” Jay said, indicating towards the sign. “Well, a good thing that it’s reserved for you. Follow me” she winked and the brothers raised their eyebrows before doing so.

They took in the room when they reached the landing. A couple of petite tables with mismatched chairs were dotted around while two leather armchairs in front of the fireplace centered the space. Flames danced within the intricate mahogany mantel, flanked by shelves overflowing with books. Their eyes travelled to the far end of the room - a mixture of emerald and gold illuminated with natural light.

“That’s her favourite spot right there. She was just so excited, I insisted on reserving it. Such a sweet girl.” Rosa smiled moving further, inviting them to follow. “I thought she only mentioned meeting you. Although my memory is getting a bit awry these days” she laughed looking up at Jay. “You thought right, we’re surprising her” Jay winked, charming Rosa. Will chuckled before following with his introduction “I’m Will. Madeline’s other brother. It’s nice to meet you”  “Ahhh, the New York doctor. Visiting?” she asked, gesturing to them for their coats. “Uh- No, here to stay.” he said, kicking himself as he was reminded yet again of the missed time between him and his baby sister. “A full reunion - how lovely! She’ll be ecstatic, she always missed you two.” her smile broadened before continuing, “Madeline said that you’d order a regular and what can I get you?” looking to Jay then Will while hanging their coats. “A cappuccino please” the older brother smiled. “Alright. Well, I’ll leave you two to it. Family’s a special thing, there’s never a wrong time to reconnect. I hope that surprise goes well!” she encouraged before walking away. 

They sat on the emerald velvet banquette along the window, framed from the room by gold silk curtains. As they waited, only the faint cracklings of the fire were heard, the layers of fabric absorbing the carrying chatter. The brothers couldn’t help but notice a familiarity, a sense of home in this treasure of a place they had just come to discover.

“And here I was thinking I would be early” a light laughter pulled the brothers out of their thoughts.  Will saw how Jay’s features lit up in an instant. “Maddie! There she is” he beamed, getting out of the seat as Madeline walked towards the booth. Jay hesitated for a second but enveloped his sister in a bear hug as soon as she crashed into him. “I really really missed you” she mumbled into his chest “I really really missed you too,” Jay said softly, kissing the top of her head. They stayed like this for a while, not wanting to let go - tears sprung in both their eyes, Madeline feeling fully protected for the first time in years. “So you got here okay?” she asked when Jay loosened his arms. “Uh yeah. We did.” he said, the corner of his lips curling. “We?” Madeline said confused, Will still hidden by the curtain. Will took this opportunity to make his way to them, taking in his sister for the first time in half a decade. “Hi Maddie” he breathed out, his eyes creasing. A sharp inhale filled the room as Madeline’s eyes widened. She stood there, frozen, only her eyelashes fluttering as she blinked in disbelief. “Will?” she choked out as if she was imagining him. “Yeah Maddie. It’s me” he shared a rueful smile.  “Uh- Wha- You’re-” she struggled to speak against her quickening breaths, overcome with emotion. Her heartbeat filled her body like thunder, so loud she couldn’t even think.   Guilt consumed Jay as he watched the light strip away behind his older brother's eyes. I shouldn’t have made him come, he cursed himself What was I thinking?? “I- I’m sorry Maddie. I shouldn’t have- I-I’ll go” Will struggled to choke back the tears. He kicked himself for even feeling … he couldn’t even put a word to it. I mean what was he expecting? For her to just jump into his arms like when she was 5? After what happened the last time? The doctor rushed to put his coat on but stopped at the gush of air from the arms crashing around his waist. “Y- You’re here” she cried into him, “Y-You came back.” The two brothers stared at each other in confusion, Will’s arms limp at his sides. Jay, what’s happening?! I dunno man, do something!! “Maddie?” Will spoke gently, trying to loosen away from her grip so that he could see her face, but she clung on tighter. “D-Don’t let go. Not yet” her voice muffled against his shirt. His heart clenched as he wrapped his arms tightly around her. After a while, her grip loosened and she blinked up at him. “You okay?” he asked softly. “Yeah” she smiled wiping her eyes with her sleeve. “Sorry about your shirt” “All good. You sure you’re okay? I can go.” Will searched her face, looking for confirmation. She scrunched her nose in confusion, hanging up her periwinkle wool coat “You jus-” “Alrigghttt. I got a regular, a cappuccino, your usual and … I just interrupted something didn’t I?” The brothers turned around to find a 20 something barista paused at the landing - he had white skin, brown side parted hair and blue plaids. College student? Probably goes to DePaul Jay thought.  “All good.” Madeline laughed before raising her eyebrows and smirking “Wait is that?” “Mmhh Rosa's tres leches. You know what she always says - celebration calls for cake” the barista said, placing Madeline’s order where Will had sat. “You guys, Rosa’s tres leches is heavenly” she beamed before helping Nic when she noticed him pausing where to place the others. “Nic, these are my brothers Jay and Will. Jay and Will meet Nic, the barista extraordinaire”  They all exchanged smiles and small talk as the siblings made their way to the banquette - Madeline where Nic had placed her latte and Jay by the windows while Will pulled up a chair and sat opposite him.  The brothers didn’t fail to catch how this ‘Nic’ touched their little sister's arm or how he winked at her before he left. 

Gotta give it to this guy for not crumbling under Jay’s stare. That thing is deadly Will amused. “Soo that’s Nic huh?” He teased. “He’s friendly,” Jay added. “Mmhh and a coffee maker genius” Madeline smiled at her napkin which displayed a doodle of a robot holding a steaming mug. The brothers raised their eyebrows when she looked up from adding flowers around it. “What? It’s just a thing we do”  “Uh huh sure. My barista draws me things all the time” Will teased again.  “And winks at me too” Jay muttered. “Stooop. You guys are just salty cause you don’t have a coffee place” she pouted rolling her eyes.  Will chuckled, finding her expression just as adorable as when she was 6.“So you come here a lot huh?” he asked.  “Yeah it’s like my special hiding place. Reminds me of home …” They caught the faraway look in her eyes before she shook them off. 

Jay watched as she fiddled with a charm on her bracelet, debating in her head. “What is it Mads?” he asked softly.  “Um- When do you have to go back?” she shared a rueful smile looking at Will.  “Never. I moved back here 3 years ago”  “Wait, you’re here? And staying?” she shook her head, doing a double take.  “Uh yeah that’s the plan” Will gulped, waiting to scope her reaction.  “This is- Wha- I mean- I didn’t think you’d-”  “Maddie you okay?” Will tried to catch her face.  They watched as she breathed out deeply “Yeah” - when she looked up, her features were filled with light “You came home” “Yeah, I did” Will chuckled, releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding.  “So? What do you do? D’you have a practice? You’re still a surgeon right?” she asked with the same curiosity as she had done with Jay.  “Mads, you’ll be happy to know that our brother here got bored of the breast implants. Isn’t that right?” Jay amused.  “Shut the fu-” Will breathed out before clearing his throat.  “Ooo Will! Language” Jay tutted “Come on man pay up”  “You guys, I’m old enough,” Madeline laughed.  “Nope, never,” he grinned, handing a dollar bill to Madeline. “And yeah, I’m now an ER doc at Chicago Med” “Chicago Med like Gaffneys?” she tilted her head.  “Yeah…?”  “That’s- Okay, this is gonna sound random but do you know Dr Rhodes? He’s a surgeon too”  The two brothers choked on their coffees at the mention. “Y-Yeah. Will works with him” Jay coughed out, Will yet to recover.  “What do you think of him?” the brothers noticed the slight nervousness through her nonchalant tone.  “Connor? He’s a good guy. One of the best surgeons in the city” Will said.  “Woahh. High praise for someone that you called - what was it? a little arrogant?” Jay raised his brow.  “What? Will, Connors not like that” she said, jokingly pushing his arm.  “Yeah Yeah I know that now.” Will rolled his eyes before going back to investigate, needing to put his mind at ease. “Hang on, how do you know him?” Was she Connor’s patient? What happened? Why is Maddie needing a cardiothoracic surgeon of all things? When? How had he not noticed? Why the hell didn’t Connor tell him?  “Well not really. You guys probably know him more - we met at this charity thing. He’s really nice, we had dinner last week” Madeline chattered not noticing their change in expression.  “H- Mads, What?” Jay tensed. They only really knew each other through the ED and the occasional drink at Molly’s but unlike Will, Jay had liked Connor from the beginning. But him having dinner with his sister? She’s only 19! The red started to build up in his body and he looked to Will, Are you hearing this? Jay, man. Calm down, just see where this goes. Jay rolled his eyes at the response but quickly tuned back into Madeline’s light chatter. 

“... place we went to, I can’t remember the name but they have like the best tacos. And you know what we did? Ordered every single one off the menu cause they all looked soo good. All 12! Worth it though and I don’t know how but they tasted even better the next day.” she laughed showing them her phone.  The screen showing a laughing Connor in a little restaurant, their table filled with tacos. Neither of them had ever seen him look more joyous. Jay shot a look to Will See man what did I tell you? So? Jay c'mon man, he just took her out for tacos. Jay wasn’t even surprised at Will's response. Docs, always seeing the benefit of the doubt. Needing proof Jay asked, “You just go out for dinner?”  “Yeah. Or for coffee… or brunch. Honestly I think he’s just worried that I’m not eating enough or something” she joked. “Not that I’m complaining though. He knows really cool places. Oh and you know what he’s surprisingly good at?” “What?” Will chuckled although Jay caught the nervousness building behind his eyes.  “Shopping!” she chuckled.  “H-He took you shopping?” Jay reiterated, more to prove a point to Will.  “Mmhh. I was stressed out cause I needed a dress for this gala but I don’t really like shopping so” she shrugged, flicking through her phone. “I already picked it out but do you guys want to see?” The brothers agreed in unison and their eyes creased as they flicked through, their sister looking graceful in numerous gowns. They paused as they got to a video, wanting to get permission.   “Oh yeah. I deleted the other ones after I showed Charlie but that’s the one I’m gonna wear.”

“What number’s this one?” they instantly recognised Connor’s voice. The camera was pointed towards a doorway where blush metallic wallpaper peeked out towards the champagne coloured space.  “Umm I think number 8?” Madeline’s voice carried from the connecting room.  The space seemed quiet, light music playing in the background. A private fitting room? So this is what shopping with The Connor Rhodes is like …   “Here we go …” she announced in an intricate lilac knee length gown, embroidered with dainty flower motifs, the shimmering beads complimenting her eyes. “What do you think?” she bit her lip.  “Honey, you look beautiful,” a smile was evident in his voice.  “Connor, you say that about every dress” she huffed, still in the doorway.  “Well because it's true” He chuckled. “But more importantly, how does it feel?” “Ummm flowy…” she said as she glided around before going to sit on a french style chair. “Passes the sit test” she shrugged.  “Okayy but how do you feel?” he coaxed. “I like it. I think- I think it feels the best out of all the other ones” She smiled timidly.  “Yeah? That’s good, do you want to try on more?”  “Mmm, No” she shook her head. The brothers noticed a look they didn’t recognize.  “You sure? We can come back a different day”  They observed as Madeline sat there, her mind forcing her somewhere else - an all too familiar look to Will.  “Maddie? Honey what’s wrong?”  She blinked slightly and flashed a smile “Nothing. I’m fine” They saw her contemplating to share before continuing “It’s just uh- I feel good in this- but that’s good right? And you know what Ashley told me? This gown, it's called ‘The Moonlit Meadow’ isn’t that perfect?”  They couldn’t quite place the look that flashed briefly as it got masked over by her smile.  “Uhh- yeah.” Will recognised Connor holding back as he switched to a lighter tone, “Very on theme. So this the one?” “Yep. It’s the one. Oh! Just a sec, Ashley already found me the perfect shoes and clutch too” she said, disappearing back into the pink room. She came back out a few seconds later with a matching clutch and strappy silver heels. “Real pretty. What’d you say? We do a show?” Connor encouraged.  “Only because there’s no one here and I want Charlie to see the look” she laughed before starting to glide across the room, her cheeks flushing.  “Yeahhh! Nice!” As she jokingly twirled, they noticed that the wall at the far end of the room looked out of place - Jay identified that it was covered in tissue paper, hints of a mirror peaking through. 

If the girl in the video was anyone other than his sister then Jay might have said that Connor was a sweet guy. But this was Madeline. He took some breaths trying to control the bubbling anger - The way things went down with Robin was harsh and we all heard Connor’s reputation but man his baby sister?! The hell is he doing hiding it from Will? The nerve of this guy. I mean they work with each other. Calling her honey my ass. And who’s this Charlie prick? 

Man this is not good. Will thought, wincing at Jays quiet but glaring eyes. Jays ready to bulldoze in “Maddie-” Will started calmly but was taken over by Jay  “Mads, this isn’t right” he said through a clenched jaw.  “What isn’t?” Madeline had a genuine look of confusion. “Wh-Why are you mad? We just went shopping”  The rage he had that was about to be spilled over was reigned back as soon as he saw her puppy eyes. “Mads- You’re 19 and he’s a little older than Will. And he’s calling you Hon-”  Light filled the room as Madeline bursted into laughter “Oh my- you don’t think-” she wheezed. At the realization, Will relaxed and joined.  “Wha- Will, this isn’t funny.” Jay shook his head.  “It is though. Y-you don’t honestly think- t-that C-Connor and I are- ” she wheezed through her laughing fit, now crashing on the banquette.  “So you two aren’t together? There’s nothing going on?” Jay asked, needing the confirmation. “No!” she laughed “Obviously! Connor’s not like that! And if I was, I would have never shown you the video”  Will saw Jay visibly relax and chuckle, “Mads, don’t do that to me again. Because I was gonna go over there and-” “Nope. No thanks. Don’t need to hear” she joked, “And full disclosure so you can fully chill, we started this because he’s been helping me with some maths stuff for class. He’s a really good teacher”  “Sorry what? You have to take maths at college?” Jay feigned disgust.  “Aww look at that. Our little going to college” Will beamed, “So? C’mon what’s your major? Where’d you go?”  “PoliSci and French minor. Love it so far” she beamed. “And It’s their online course but Northwestern.” she smiled timidly. 

“Wha- Maddie! Come’ere!” the two brothers beamed, hugging Madeline as they sandwiched her in between. “This is amazing Mads. You know that right?” Jay said, ruffling her hair. “Yeah Maddie, super proud” Will grinned. “And Jay told me you’re training to be a ballerina?”  “Mmhh. At Joffrey’s. I’m in their studio company program” “That sounds great but hang on cause I wanna know what that means” Jay said, already scrolling through his phone.  “Oh, it’s just another name for their trainees” she brushed off but they instantly recognised that there was more. “Mads, it says that it’s a scholarship program” Jay coaxed.  “Yeah, but it’s really not a big deal” she blushed.  “Sorry, what’s that?” Jay smirked, enveloping her.  “No big deal? Maddie, are you kidding? It’s the biggest deal” Will joined in.  “Stoppp, you're squishing me!” Madeline squirmed.  “No way you’re getting out of this Halstead hug” Will grinned, tightening his arms. 

As they laughed, the same warmth filled their minds.  I’m home

                                            💙✨🦋✨💙

Next Chapter 

A/N - Thank you for reading! I just realised that I hadn’t uploaded this chapter the same time as I did on ao3 and ff.net back in September so I am so sorry for the delay. The characters belong to Dick Wolf and are from the One Chicago universe he created.

[thegeekerynj]

All Death Metal Review (And nothing from Sweden!)

Death Metal: Trinity Crisis One Shot 

Writer: Scott Snyder   Artist: Francis Manapul

‘And who are YOU supposed to be? I’ve faced enough Dark Knights that no Batman scares me anymore!

Ha! Then it’s a good thing I’m not a Batman! I’m his MOTHER!’

———————————————————————————————————

Sweet Christmas! That took me by surprise!

Harley kissing Jonah Hex, that was really sweet, and gods awful creepy, and kinda gross,  after the exchange, and some thought…

This is it, Gentle Readers… the Beginning of the End of the Beginning of… Oh, crap, now I’m lost… This is where the story starts rockin’!

The Gang’s all together, and the Black Lantern Bat has determined what they need to do.

The plan? Split up, naturally. That AL-ways works…

When we left them in DM #3, the Lanterns are protecting the Home Base, and taking out the Crisis Energy Antennae on the Earths left in the known Universes, The Flashes are off and running through the Speed Force, trying to find Metron, and stay ahead of the Bathattan who Laughs, while the Trinity (Superman / Antilife, Black Lantern Batman and  Warden Wonder Woman) along with Swamp Thing, Harley, Hex and Jarro, head for Castle Bat, to gain access to the Crisis Earths, where the Crisis Energy is being harvested for Perpetua.

**WHEW!**

Getting into the Castle involves getting past an army of Dark Knights… and we have a bunch of real winners here! 

Bat Monday - Salomon Grundy in Bat ears, I could have busted a gut laughing, until I thought about what kind of weapon a zombie with Batman’s training could be, and shivered…

Kull, the daughter of Batman and Wonder Woman, corrupted by the Dark Universe…

Ark, the living embodiment of Arkham, with all of the knowledge and abilities of ALL her worst inmates…

Chiroptor, the amalgam of Batman and Chemo (Great Elder Gods!!)… 

And the Pearl, Martha Wayne, in the equivalent of HellBat Armor, complete with her iconic pearl necklace.

This is a real mindscrew for Batman, and the panels depict it, most intently.

One nice thing about Scott Snyder… he is consistent about tying up loose ends. Once we are in Castle Bat, we find out what happened to Barbatos, the Big Bad from Dark Nights: Metal. Not that we were actually wondering, since we got Perpetual, and the Batman Who Laughs, but, like I said, it ties up the package nicely.

Then, we are introduced to the character I have been most happily waiting for… the Robin King, and his Utility Belt of Death!

Gentle Readers, this is the story we have been waiting for, the chapter which tells us what the Heroes Plan of Action is, and where the story has been going, for over 40 years. You see, the opening page of this book tells us where this story began… with Marv Wolfman and George Perez, and Crisis on Infinite Earths!

Not to spoil too much, but Crisis, Infinite Crisis, and Final Crisis, ]well… they have all played a part in getting us to this story. It seems, the “Crisis Energy’ has fed Perpetua while she was trapped within the Source Wall, and, now, she wants it all, so she can recreate the Universes in her image.

Great job, if you can get it…

I can’t say enough good things about this story and artwork, as Snyder and Manapul have put together a really tight, hard hitting bottle / lead story, bringing us to the next step in the saga… 

Jeebus on a popsicle stick, I hope no one lets me down… that will hurt!

Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶🌶.5

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Death Metal: Multiverse’s End #1

Writer: James Tynion IV   Artist: Juan Gedeon

‘Mr. Rabbit?

Yes, Young Lady?

Thank you for saving me.

What a kind thing to say! It was so scary out there, and you stayed so brave. I don’t think I could have done it without your courage.

You’re really, really soft.

I use a special carrot shampoo.

———————————————————————————————————

Once upon a time, about a million, bazillion years ago in cranky fat man years, somewhere around 1982, Roy Thomas and Scott Shaw! brought Earth-C into the DC Multiverse, the earth of anthropomorphic animals… yes, they brought Super-Hero Cartoon Animals to the Super Hero Universe.

Our introduction to this Earth was Rodney Rabbit, a comics writing and drawing hare, who created the Just’a Lotta Animals comic by day, and was Captain Carrot, a Superman-esque rabbit, who got his powers from super charged carrots, when danger struck.

But, I digress… because I got really excited!

So, we have teams on the 6 Earths, each Earth holding a tuning fork, focusing the psychic pain energy of the population to Perpetual, powering her attempts to recreate the Multiverse in her image. The Earths in play, Earth - 3 (Crime Syndicate), Earth - X (Nazi Earth), Earth - 29 (Bizarroworld), Earth - 43 (Blood League World) and Earth - 50 (Justice Lords Earth) are all worlds of pain and suffering.

Their energy is the right flavor for destroying, and creating.

The heroes, organized and led by the Green Lanterns of Sector 2814 (Hal Jordan, Guy Gardner, John Stewart, Kyle Rayner, Jessica Cruz, Simon Baz), are working to take down the Antennae before the energy can be fed to Perpetual to power her Cosmic Undoing. 

So, teamed with the Lanterns, we have Hawkgirl, Kid Flash (Earth-22), President Superman (Earth-23), Wonder Woman (Earth-6) and Captain Carrot, all hellbent on stopping the respective Antennae.

The problem… Each Earth’s inhabitants have been laced into the antennae, to directly feed the psychic energy to it..since the energy is effectively terror, well, what better way to induce some? Of course, this isn’t the only problem to be contended with…

Leave it to James Tynion IV to come up with a way to make a villain creepier than the Batman Who Laughs… How, you ask? Well, take the true polar opposite of Batman, and make him realize HE IS what Giggles says he is, and you have an interesting new ballgame.

You see, while the Batman who Laughs is the Ultimate CORRUPTED Batman, Owlman is the Anthesis of Batman, the purest EVIL to the Batman’s GOOD. And he plans to make sure that he continues to be the True Opposite…

Gedeon’s artwork is rough, but considering the story being told, and the pain portrayed by the characters, it fits, perfectly. Some times, I see Joe Staton and Nic Cuti in these pages, a little cartoony, but that’s not a complaint… The story concentrates a bunch on Guy Gardner and Cap, so, it seems to fit (and the art is reminiscent of the ‘A Guy and his G’Nort’ storyline from 1991). 

All in all, a very good story, and a fantastic use of a truly underused treasure.

Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶🌶

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Speed Metal #1

Writer: Joshua Williamson   Pencils: Eddy Barrow   Inks: Eber Ferreira

‘Hey, Flash Family, Is it true a Flash has to die in every Crisis?!’

———————————————————————————————————

And the levels of snark from the Darkest Knight have reached Epic Levels!

The first three pages of this issue give us a rehash of everything  having to do with Wally West, since the beginning of the Rebirth Era, from Barry pulling Wally out of the Speed Force, to Barry and Batman finding the Comedian’s Smiley Face button embedded in the Batcave wall, to the events of Heroes in Crisis and Flash Forward.

The action picks up as Barry, Wally, Wallace and Jay leave the Batman’s Vault, in search of Metron’s Chair, with the Darkest Knight hot on their trails. 

In the Speed Force.

With the Darkest Knight’s presence corrupting the Speed Force, Barry and Wally bickering the entire time, I’m reminded of why I hated the post Crisis Flash… Wally wasn’t mature enough to wear the mantle of Barry’s fame.

Sure, he had the speed, he was even faster than Barry, but he was still the same jealous little kid inside, the one who needed to be patted on the head, the one who couldn’t get on with the Titans, even though he was probably the most powerful of them. 

He was just an immature kid, and here, Williamson dragged that all into the foreground once again.

All so Wally West, the King of the Redemption Arc, could have another Redemption Arc…

Sorry, that did me in. 

The rest of the story is pretty good… the art is wonderful, the Jay / Barry / Wallace interplay is really kinda neat, and all the Black Flashes… well, I’m a sucker for Death icons, so a mass of Death Speedsters, well that’s fun with a CAPITAL F!

But, did we need another Wally gets to whine story?

Sorry, this wasn’t the finest arc of the Death Metal Saga.

Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶

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Death Metal #4 ‘Shot In The Dark’

Writer: Scott ‘Scream King’ Snyder   Artist: Greg ‘The Muscle’ Capullo  Inks: Jonathan ‘Bloodied’ Glapion

“So, ever wonder why you never see A Harley Who Laughs’?’

———————————————————————————————————

And, that Gentle Readers, is the crux of one of those puzzles about this series… Why don’t we ever see more twisted versions of the Villains who infest Earth Prime?

The Robin King (this is the character who rates SECOND on my memorable Characters list, especially with his own One-Shot—— Who’s First?? Time, Gentle Ones in time…) puts the explanation out there, and it is very simple.

And worth the read… But, I digress.

So, Issue 4 picks up with Sergeant Rock describing what has been happening on Earth - Prime, and we finally get to see who has been carrying him around… AMBUSH BUG! Yes, the character that made the Fourth Wall more transparent than an open Anderson window has been carrying Rock around as his own personal narrator…

Which, if you know the Bug, is a joke unto itself.

So, here we go, the ride is picking up steam, and we are now following 6, count’em SIX, separate story lines. A guy could get whiplash, or Bullwhip or some other third rate character… But, I digress.

We have the Trinity storyline, the SpeedMetal storyline, Multiverse’s End, and the Lantern Storyline from the last issue, the Justice League / Legion of Doom story… am I forgetting anything? 

Oh, and of course, the Robin King.

Where to start with this… I guess the simplest place to start is the artwork.

Greg Capullo’s pencils are absolutely wonderful. For anybody who it's to watch the process of drawing I want to watch so he's got a really wonderful touch I recommend Greg Capullo’s Instagram site. As he's drawing pages for these books, he posts the pencils as he finishes pieces of the process . Normally, he has six or seven photo panels showing exactly what he's been doing.  In man cases, this involves crowd scenes, with extensive detail. His work is beautiful, it’s easy to see why he is such a sought after talent.

Jonathan Glapion’s inks on Capullo’s pencils are comparable to Austin on Byrne, and Janson over Miller, Janson over Colan… Enhancing, and not hiding the intricate detail rendered in the pencils, adding that last flash of lightning to bring it all together. The balance struck between them is almost organic, a constant growth between the two, bringing them to levels bordering on the true Classic Art teams of the last 50 years.

I do not make these comparisons lightly

Now, to the story. Scott Snyder is powering a roller coaster with a rocket sled. The coordination between the different aspects of these stories is both intricate and daring. With all the different aspects of this story spinning like plates on sticks, Snyder juggles the plot lines, and what is left to him by the myriad of writers as Emmet Kelly did in the heyday of Ringling Brothers.

His deft touch, and subtle influences are balanced by lace covered sledgehammer blows, leaving the reader reeling, and wanting so very much more.

Scott Snyder, much like Tom Taylor, has pulled out all the stops, cut the brake lines, kicked out the jams, insert favorite euphemism for creating a high speed, non-stop mad ride to Hell!

And, much to my wallet’s chagrin, I am very happy about it.

Now, as it crosses to other books, and other writers pick up the reins, I am sure Snyder will still be the whip hand driving the story, not allowing some of these writers to go too far astray (unless it’s Tom King… then, well Woo Hoooo!)

I can’t say enough good things about this story, or the team creating it. I’m beginning t feel a little biased, but, what the heck.

Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶🌶.5

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Death Metal: Robin King #1 ‘The Robin Who Would Be King’

Writer: Peter J. Tomasi   Artist: Riley Rossmo

‘Aw! Come on, this is the fun part!

Get up and let’s FIGHT!’

———————————————————————————————————

Games, within games, within games…

So, the Batman who Laughs wasn’t infallible.

And the Robin King is going to be the bigger threat to the Darkest Knight than any combination of the Trinity, Flashes or their cohorts.

At least, that’s my takeaway from this issue.

We continue the story of the Robin King, as started in the Tales of the Dark Universe one shot.  Bruce has grown up, and grown into his sociopathy, and genius. He has used the family fortune to get all the training necessary, and to accumulate all the tools, to begin his reign as the true Evil Overlord of Gotham.

Utilizing his accumulated weapons, he has taken out Commissioner Gordon, Firestorm, Animal Man, Adam Strange Blue Beetle (Ted Kord), and the Red Tornado, all in truly spectacular and extraordinarily grisly fashion.

While the Black Hole Implosion for Firestorm was a particularly well thought out death, I think, so far, the ‘Mortal Coil’ Death, for the Red Tornado was the most imaginative… making his powers totally uncontrollable, while moving him closer to his ultimate dream, to be a real person, before his form totally destroys itself from the stresses of his own speed.

Marvelous! Fantastic! Gross!

Enter the Batman who Laughs, with the proposition to make the Robin King special, one of his own…

But, he’s a Robin, so, off to the Groblin Pit he goes!

Hence, his mistake, and possibly another chink in the boiler plate of his plans… since Bruce Wayne is NO Robin!

Peter Tomasi’s scripting for this issue is simply remarkable. The creep factor he brings to this iteration of Bruce Wayne is almost eviscerating. Reading this was painful to my eyes and psyche, feeling the levels of insanity drip off the page, and scratch across my mind like a little bird’s unnaturally sharp talons.

He really hit all the horror factors.

Then, there was the artwork for this story. Riley Rossmo’s artwork set the mood for this story. His shattered pencil / inks style, which can be distracting, was integral to telling this story. It allowed the Reader to view this story as if it were playing out in Bruce’s mind, its all the fracturing being how he is viewing the world.

For me, this story has been the highlight of the series… thus far. I am anticipating this, which is near the midpoint of things, is setting up the Wednesday Night Episode…so, - 

Tune In, Gentle Readers! 

Same Bat-Time

Same Bat Channel!

The Best Is Yet To Come!

Did I neglect there is a B-story, with Signal, Spoiler, Orphan and Red Robin taking on Quietus, the amalgam of Batman Ras’ al Ghul and Duke Thimas, from another Dark Universe, written by Tony Patrick and drawn by Daniel Sampere?

This story brings in a plot line for ‘What’s happening for the Other Bat-Family Elements’, as they try to find their way through Castle Bat’s myriad streets… 

I am guessing we will start to see more of these stories.

I am completely fine with this, rather than having to recap things later…

Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶🌶.5

[uncloseted]

i related to effy an unhealthy amount when i was only 13 when i first watched it, but at the time i wasnt doing drugs, homewrecking, doing anything that young lol. however i was extremely mentally ill but undiagnosed, and so confused but i found solace in effys character because of how similar i felt to her. flashforward to being 20 now and im a nic addict/borderline drug and alcohol addict that forgets to take my prescribed antidepressants and antipsychotics. i cant tell you how many events of effys life have mirrored mine now 7 years later, both the pretty but mostly the ugly. it all feels like a joke to me, and the thing is of course it wasnt effy the fictional character that did this to me, it was the fact that i was genetically and epically set up to do this to me for as long as i existed and i saw myself in her too young. everyone ive ever met and started to befriend has fallen in love with me, has found me beautiful, and then seen my flaws and hated me even if they didnt tell me to my face. ive been a horrible friend and partner and im flighty and unreliable and destructive. i never saw effy, or a person like effy, find a happy ending and im afraid even when im at my manic highs i will never find a lasting happiness and will always accidentally self sabotage until i die. what im trying to ask is, how can i save me? i know its dumb to ask a random tumblr user but ive been following this blog since i was 13-14 and since you know effy through and through, you might know a little about me. its a long shot. (i’d also like to say this isnt a cry for help and im safe/not actively suicidal so i dont want you to feel like theres any pressure like that, but i did use this ask box as a free therapy session.)

I'm a bit biased, but I don't think there's anything wrong with asking a random Tumblr user at all. I'm happy to be a free therapy session when you need one, and I'm really touched that you've trusted me with your thoughts and feelings for so long. Hopefully I've been some help over the years 😆

Coping with mental illness can be really, really hard, but the good news is that with the right tools and support system, you can absolutely recover. It sounds like you already have a psychiatrist in your life, which is a great start. If you've having trouble remembering to take your medication, it might help to set calendar reminders on your phone, set up text prompts to remind you to take your pills, to link taking your pills with something else you do every day (like brushing your teeth or eating breakfast), or to reward yourself for taking your medication (for example, putting a piece of candy in your pill box that you can eat after taking your pill).

If you don't have one already, a therapist might also be a good idea. It can take a while to find the right therapist for you, so schedule a few appointments and see which therapist you "click" with. A therapist can help you work through any reluctance you might have towards taking you medications, as well as helping you come up with day to day strategies that help you achieve your goals and helping you work through the beliefs that you hold about yourself and the world that may be holding you back.

Moving on to talking about addiction for a bit. I strongly believe that addiction doesn't come from some type of inherent lack of willpower or moral failing, or even really the drug itself. It's the need to escape reality. And that's actually supported by scientific literature; most famously, the Rat Park experiment by Bruce K Alexander. Practically, we've seen that same thing in the aftermath of Portugal's decision to decriminalize all drugs. They took the money they were using to keep drug users in prison, and instead invested that money into reconnecting people who struggle with addiction to society. Their goal was to make sure that every person who struggles with addiction has a reason to get up in the morning and has a support system within the wider society. And it actually worked- injection drug use is down 50%, overdoses and HIV infections have massively decreased, and rates of addiction decreased as well. It's much easier to quit when you have something motivating you to keep going.

Why am I telling you all of this? I guess what I'm trying to get at is in order to recover from addiction, I think first people need to understand what the reality is that they're trying to escape. What can be done about those issues? Who's in your corner trying to support you, even if they're not doing the best job at it? Where else can you get the social support you might need? What are you passionate about? What would make it feel worth it to get up in the morning? I think instead of focusing on the drugs, or the alcohol, or the cigarettes, maybe we should focus on solving the root problems that make those attractive options. That's one of the reasons a therapist is a really good idea; they can help you figure out what those root problems are, and provide resources and tools to help you fix those problems.

In terms of practical, do it yourself advice for dealing with addiction, there are a couple things you might try. I did a whole post on evidence-based ways to set goals and follow through on them here, so I won't rehash it in this post, but basically:

Try to set goals that are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time bound. For you, this might be something like "My goal is to have only one drink a day (measurable and achievable) for week (time bound) so that I can be more reliable for my friends (relevant)".

Instead of trying to quit something, replace it with something else. For example, "when I feel like smoking, I'm going to do ten minutes of learning Korean instead". Learning something new is easier and more exciting, and so new habits are easier to maintain that breaking old ones. Find a new hobby that you've always wanted to do or that's exciting to you, and try to focus your energies on that to distract yourself.

Identify any obstacles (such as environmental triggers) that you might run into, and develop contingency plans for working around them. This might be something like, "when I drink coffee in the morning, I want to smoke, so I'm going to switch to tea instead." If you can, get rid of all environmental triggers that might remind you of your addiction or trigger a craving.

Get someone else involved. Tell a friend about your goal and have them check up on you. Your fear of disappointing them will help you stay on track.

Put money on the line. Give money to a friend with the understanding that you'll get it back at a set date if you've achieved the goal you set. Tell your friend that if you fail, they should donate the money to a group or cause you really hate.

Write down the reasons you want to quit, and put them somewhere you know you'll see them. Whenever you want to engage in an addiction behavior, read through that list first.

For bonus points, add to that list your contingency plan for when you want to engage in an addiction behavior. These may include ways to redirect your attention or distract yourself until the craving passes.

76% of people who wrote down their goals, actions and provided weekly progress to a friend successfully achieved their goals.

You might also try an addiction recovery app, such as these, or doing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy worksheets on your own if you can't access a therapist right now.

There are also some things you can try in order to improve your mood. As much as I hate that this is true, consistent exercise has a huge impact on mood. If you can, try taking a 20 minute walk outside, 3 times a week. Other (boring) things, like making sure you're getting 7-9 hours of sleep a night and eating regularly, can also make a big difference in mood. Some of you might know that I'm a little bit obsessed with the free Coursera class "The Science of Well-Being". It has a lot of great evidence-based tips and tricks for how to build happiness, and I highly recommend it if you're trying to live a happier life. These include things like journaling, meditating, noting things that you're grateful for, helping other people, and having regular social interactions.

Finally, a few philosophical thoughts. One of the Four Noble Truths in Buddhism is dukkha. Basically, this is the idea that suffering is an innate characteristic of existence in our world. When I was younger, I never liked this concept, but I think now I kind of get it. It's impossible to be happy 100% of the time, and that shouldn't be our goal. Suffering is the comparison by which our lives gain meaning. But we can do our best to minimize our suffering and the suffering of others, and ride the wave of suffering when it does come. And each time we ride that wave, we can learn techniques to manage it a little bit better, and to make it easier the next time. We will sometimes sabotage ourselves out of fear, but we can learn how to do it less frequently and for the consequences to be less dire. We can learn how to forgive ourselves for our flaws and what we've done in the past, and learn from those mistakes so we don't do them again in the future. It's also okay to backslide, to struggle even after you've made progress. You're never back where you started, because you've always learned more and experienced more.

I know I've thrown kind of a lot at you in this post, and I don't expect you to try all of it or for all of it to work, but hopefully something in there is helpful to you. You can get through this. You can save yourself, but please, also remember to let others help save you. You don't need to do this on your own. And just like I have been since you were 13, I'm always here to give a free therapy session and to lend my support ❤️❤️❤️

[gimbapchefs]

♣️ HELLOOOO do you want to go on a gimbap picnic date with me??? 🥰

UM IS THAT EVEN A QUESTION?? of course i'll go on a gimbap picnic date with you pick a date and i'll be there ;)

You’re my: fOODIE SOULMATEEEEE🍜🧁

How I met you: i can't remember how i found your blog exactly, probably just popped up in my feed and i love your edits and decided to follow. you left me an ask reminding me to be hydrated and left a sly little conversation starter so i went straight to your dms and look where we are now 🥰

Why I follow you: oKaY your bio saying low quality content is a straight up lie you have HIGH QUALITY CONTENT HONEY like your graphics are always so creative and you pay so much attention to detail like i'll notice just an extra crinkle to make a graphic look a little more like paper or an extra wisp to make it look a bit more mystical. and your gifs?? hIGH QUALITY DUDE i just went to your blog and scrolled like twice down the page and was smacked with tae's forehead that's so clean in quality and colored flawlessly. aND if you ever want icons - bAAM nic's got a set for you and if you don't like one of the colors oH don't you worry nic's got 5 other colors and ombres for you to choose from

Your blog is: sTUNNING and a go to if i ever want (again) H I G H quality content. also your desktop theme has a really nice yellow tone i like it it's warm but soft but also reminds me of peaches ?? i don't think i ever not think about food

Your URL is: cute cute i think you posted about it once how it was a reference partially to tae being a maknae but also jk who is the maknae and your soft taekook heart 🥺

Your icon is: icon-ic both in the v picture you chose that is s t u n n i n g but also how you put the V in the background

A random fact I know about you: that you have an emergency stash of cupcakes for when you get hungry at work and that you've always wanted to try a twinkie

General opinion: uh i love you if that wasn't clear and love to gush about food and bts with you (i think we're about to go full hard stan in our dms and i'm so ready for it👊) if one day we end up in the same place since we're all the way across the world from each other 😭 we will go on a lovely picnic date with gimbap, mild ramen, salmon kimchi fried rice, not too sweet cupcakes, and fruit milk to top it off 🥳

A random thought I have: 1/2 cup flour is a really cute name but i think 1/2 tsp of vanilla extract fits well too

mutuals send me a ♧!

[nelllraiser]

the kids are alright | adam, ariana, athena, blanche, connor, nell, orion, & winston

TIMING: a few days before the full moon. LOCATION: connor’s beach house. PARTIES: @walker-journal, @letsbenditlikebennett, @athenaquinn, @harlowhaunted, @connorspiracy, @nelllraiser, @3starsquinn, @danetobelieve SUMMARY: just a truly wholesome and youthful time.

Connor didn’t know what everyone liked, so he tried to get a little of everything; chips, dip, beers, spirits (no pun intended), and a few takeout menus scattered around in case they wanted to order. The house wasn’t huge by any means, but one thing he prided himself on was having a bloody good entertainment system, complete with several consoles and a massive telly. They’d have some fun. Watch some shit movies, play some Mario Party, forget that the world outside was shit, at least for a few hours. As the first knock at the door came, he headed over to answer it. “Hey, welcome. Come on in. Make yourself at home. Telly and consoles are obviously in here, but we have this bit of beach as well if we decide we want to take it outside.”

While Ariana wasn’t sure of who all would be in attendance tonight, she knew she hadn’t wanted to leave Athena back at the apartment. Especially with everything that had happened recently, she knew they could both use a fun evening. When she knocked on the door, she smiled brightly as Connor greeted them and introduced him to Athena. “I think I’ll skip testing my luck with the beach, I’m more interested in seeing how I can build a new entertainment system for ya anyway,” she turned to Athena and said, “This is my friend Athena. Athena, this is Connor. You may have seen some of his YouTube videos.” She held up a bag and added, “We brought some extra snacks, too.” 

She wasn’t entirely sure that she was up for a party, but she also knew that she didn’t want to be all by herself with her thoughts. So when Ariana had offered to bring her along to the party, Athena had quickly agreed. “Hi.” She waved to Connor from where she was standing behind Ariana. “I don’t watch a lot of YouTube outside of some videos about baking, or science, or one of my sorority sisters has a vlog channel, so I’m subscribed to that… but still! Nice to meet you.” She grinned, and it still didn’t feel entirely comfortable, but she knew that she had to get back to the usual routine to some degree sooner or later. She nodded over at the bag Ariana was holding up, using that time to look around the house. Her fingers, bare except for one with a golden ring that Amanda had gotten her for her birthday, found her cross necklace and she twisted it around, a bit out of a nervous habit. “Thanks for letting me come, it looks like you have a really nice place.”

“Always love a good snack,” Connor teased. “That’s why Adam’s coming.” Pity that boy was so painfully heterosexual. “Hi, love,” he greeted as Ariana introduced Athena. “Nice to meet you. Nobody else is here yet, but come on in, have a drink, let Ariana check out my furniture…” He gave a little chuckle, helping himself to a beer. 

Nell and Blanche had arrived in tandem, sporting their matching ‘burn your bra’ crop tops in a yin and yang color scheme with Nell in black, and one of her best friends in white. As she walked through the open front door, an amused grin cracked her lips as she saw Blanche and her hadn’t been the only ones to have a similar idea. “Well I’m glad we all got the memo,” she said with a nod towards Athena and Ariana’s complimentary jerseys, knowing full well there had been no such thing. Then she was raising a hand to wave a group greeting towards everyone, and presenting the plate she’d brought. “I brought these- they’re brownies obviously, but the kind that might make you astral project a couple planes over.” Probably stuffed with enough homegrown pot to get an elephant high, they were a staple when it came to party favors.

Orion had been to Connor’s on quite a few occasions now. Since the two had first met up at the old haunted house that Rio had grown up learning about, the two had hung fairly often while Rio helped film and edit videos every now and again. He was still clearly a beginner, but either Connor was desperate for the help or just enjoyed Rio’s company. He came hand in hand with Winston, overly excited for the night. Ever since his birthday, people seemed to walk on pins and needles around him and he didn’t know how to convince him that he was completely fine without potentially coming across as a sociopath. “Connor’s place is nice! He has a really cool set up for editing videos. Maybe you two can geek out about computer stuff together?” Rio grinned as the two made towards the front door.

Connor took a look at everyone’s outfits. “Well, if you brought bras to burn, I already mentioned we’ve got the beach for a little campfire,” he teased. “And Nell, maybe we let people settle in for a bit before getting high on brownies, yeah?” He gave her a playful grin. “But I like the way you think.” There was another ring from the doorbell, and he momentarily excused himself to go answer. It was Rio and his roommate. Holding hands. Cool. “Hey, you made it,” he greeted, smiling over at Rio. “Did you know we were supposed to coordinate? Everyone else has come dressed in pairs,” he teased, then looked to Winston. “Hi. Nice to meet ya. I’m Connor. Come on in.” He led them inside to the rest of the group. Now that almost everyone had arrived, he made sure everyone had a drink and knew where the snacks were, and where the bathroom was. “Just waiting for Adam then. For movies we’ve got pretty much anything that’s on Netflix, Prime, Hulu, or anything I can illegally download.” 

Glancing around the room, Winston shot Nell and Blanche a knowing smile before keeping their hands tightly interlaced with Orion’s. Things seemed to have relatively blown over with Athena, the fact that she was here with Ariana was a separate matter. “Thanks for the invite, if I’d known we were supposed to coordinate I’d have joined in but I guess we’re always the last to hear about these fun facts…” Winston gave a gentle smile before continuing into the house. They were about to mention that they were pretty sure they could connect Connor’s place up to the database in their home, but they weren’t sure that they wanted to potentially share any info that was not entirely secure. “Adam’s coming too? This really is going to be a party.” Winston just hoped he wasn’t armed with assault rifles and grenades this time.

 “Hey guys,” Blanche gave a wave. She hadn't expected Athena to be here, but then again, she also hadn't expected Rio either, especially after… everything. But she wasn't one to judge when people needed to blow off steam. “I would highly recommend the brownies. Once, you know, we’ve all settled in.” She nudged Nell playfully. “I have a 12 pack of beer too if anyone wants a drink.” She set it down on an end table, before curiously eyeing the TV. “Alright then, why don't we focus on picking a movie while we wait for Adam -” would he roll in with kegs like he did at Nic’s party? She fought back a snide internal comment, reminding herself that she promised to rewind for the evening, and honestly… she was so tired of being angry. Not just at Adam, but with everyone. “What genre are we feeling? Horror?” she asked, hopefully.

It seemed like she and Athena hadn’t been the only ones who showed up matching. Ariana waved to Blanche and Nell appreciating their crop tops. She stood up to grab some drinks for her and Athena though she was pretty sure she’d be skipping out on the brownies. She’d never tried them before and wasn’t sure a big group of people was the place to start. “I’ll take you up on one of those beers. Did you want one, Athena?” At the mention of horror movies, Ariana shrugged. “Sounds a little close to real life, but I’m down.” 

She figured that her brother was going to be here. Athena gave a small, half-wave to Rio, though she didn’t look over at him for too long. They hadn’t been together since everything and she still wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do. The idea of the brownies wasn’t especially appealing, even if part of her wondered if Nell’s addition to it was a bit more magical than most. “Uh, sure.” She said, looking at Ariana. “If there’s cider I’d prefer that but beer can do.” She waved at Nell and Blanche. “Nice matching.” It didn’t hurt to at least appear pleasant, and she could only do so much to calm down her nerves - getting into an argument wasn’t going to help with any of that. “What horror films? I can’t say I’m super expert on that genre.” Ironically enough.

There was the sound of a large truck pulling up and a loud bawdy conversation on the street about someone being manscaped with a weedwacker, only for said someone to shout back an incoherent taunt about some physically impossible things Adam’s mother engaged in last night. More voices joined in the from the truck until it was unclear where mothers, weedwhackers, body hair, contortionist sex positions, chocolate fudge, and lighter fluid all fit into this. However all involved seemed to part even more cheerful than before and the car departed. 

Sporting a letterman jacket and a red baseball cap with faint stains of a deeper scarlet,  Adam burst in smelling faintly of lock-room soap and the lingering grass scent of the football field. 

Still flush with post-practice endorphins, Adam vaulted over the back of the nearest free couch as if it were a track hurdle and crashed down into the open seat. 

“Sup my bodacious bastards?”

"Horror is good by me. Blair Witch or something? Could always go with Scream. Classic slasher." Connor grabbed a cider for himself. He had bought enough so that nobody needed to bring their own, but it was a nice gesture. It wasn't long before Adam turned up. You really couldn't miss him. "Life of the party, I see," Connor greeted. "The loud-mouthed jock of my dreams,” he teased, his grin flashing all the way up to his eyes. “Want a beer mate? We were just deciding on a movie." 

Nell abandoned her pot filled brownies on the coffee table, grabbing a few drinks after waving a welcome to Winston and Orion, and first offering one to Blanche with a “For you” before taking another. Then she plopped herself down on the same couch before also handing one to Adam should he want it. “And here you go, ‘bodacious’;” she said with a slight snort. Nell couldn’t pretend that she wasn’t a bit worried to have the two of them in the same place after Winn’s death, but maybe alcohol was another key factor in glossing all of that over for the moment being. She popped open the top of her own bottle with a household spell, realizing she’d forgotten a bottle opener before taking a swig of it. “I’m right here,” she joked at the mention of Blair Witch, even if she knew it was less about witches and more about general spookiness.

Swallowing a mouthful of beer, Winston watched Adam enter the room. This was not your classic set up, hunters, werewolves, exorcists, spellcasters and god knew what else. But they were their friends and Winston was doing their best to be more normal in their endeavours and their life. “Not everything is about you Nell sweetie,” Winston reached down and plucked a brownie from the plate, tentatively nibbling on it and smiling. Thank God they weren’t driving tonight. “I’ve heard that Midsommar is meant to be really good, Heritage too. Not sure if any of those appeal to you. They’re meant to be more nordic or something? I don’t know. I read something about them a while back.”

The place was full of familiar faces, and maybe for the first time Orion found himself at what could basically be considered a party surrounded completely by people that he considered friends. Or at least, friends plus one very odd addition in the first of his twin sister. She stuck close with Ariana. The pair still baffled Rio, seeing them together and matching was even more jarring. Coupled with Blanche and Nell wearing the same thing maybe Rio and the others really had missed some sort of memo. Athena’s small wave was maybe a step, but not much of one. Rio returned the wave, both of them turning their backs to each other as Rio made his way to the kitchen, pondering whether or not he was going to drink. He decided to go for it after a long moment’s hesitation and picked a cider, “It’s someone’s job to make sure I don’t get drunk. I have an embarrassingly small tolerance.” He said aloud to no one in particular, only sort of joking and then found his way to the couch where Adam had just leapt over, “A cult movie may be hitting a bit close to home, don’t you think?” Rio laughed, but shrugged the concern away, “It looks pretty though. I’m down for anything.”

Connor was pretty indifferent to any drama that might have existed between anyone in the group, so he didn’t pay any mind to Blanche’s reaction to Adam. "Yes, Nell, you're our White Crest witch, very different," Connor teased. Since everyone was here, it wouldn't do any harm to grab a brownie. He'd just have to pace himself. "Oh shit, if we're talking 'high brow' horror," he made little air quotes around the words, "Hereditary and Midsommar would be sick. Get Out, too. I just figured we'd probably want something we can get pissed and stoned to and not pay that much attention," he snickered. "Oh, there's also Happy Death Day and The Babysitter if we want newer Netflix shit." He shrugged, sipping his drink. “I’m not fussed though. Whatever anyone else wants to watch.” 

It was good to see Adam in seemingly better spirits than the last time she saw him. Ariana still felt a twinge of guilt that her trust in others had nearly led to his death, but he was here now and they were all going to have a good time. “Hey, Adam,” she greeted with a wave as he swung over the couch. She looked back to Athena with a small smile and said, “Cider it is.” She made her way to the kitchen and chimed in, “I’m not sure Winston, I’m pretty sure Nell took a DNA test and she’s 100% that witch.” She grabbed a beer for herself and a cider for Athena. It dawned on her that she hadn’t seen any of the movies mentioned but she laughed a bit over the cult part. “I’ve seen like none of those, so I’m good with whatever.” She slid back into her seat by Athena and handed her a cider. “Here you go,” she said brightly. She knew Athena was still down over everything that happened and she wanted this to be a nice night for both of them. Hell, she was pretty sure everyone in this room needed a break from White Crest being White Crest and she wanted that for all of them. 

She gave a small wave to Adam as he arrived. At least he seemed to be in relatively good spirits, which was something. “How’s it going Adam?” She raised an eyebrow. “This feels a little different than our usual sort of party, doesn’t it?” Athena nodded at Ariana’s comment, watching as she went over to grab the drinks. “One of my sisters is a sociology and film double major and wrote a paper about Get Out - she had us all watch it so I actually have seen that, but I can’t say I’m too familiar with the others.” She did know that if anything was too full of jump scares she might react poorly, but that was what fiddling with the hem of her shirt was for, wasn’t it? She accepted the cider from Ariana and took a sip. “Whatever everyone else wants to go with.” She couldn’t help but sigh when she noticed that her brother had the same drink as her, though only a small smile covered her lips.

Connor had a big grin on his face as they drank and chatted. It had been a while since he'd had a proper group of friends like this. He had friends, of course, but high school and college he'd still been coming into his own as a medium and starting up his YouTube channel. People thought he was kind of weird. In White Crest, he wasn't weird at all. He was probably one of the most normal. "Okay, we're gonna have to take votes on the movie," he snickered, smoking his vape. "Probably something on the less serious side of things, yeah? We've got enough shit going on. Happy Death Day or The Babysitter are both on Netflix." He got a feeling there was a little more going on with the ‘serious’ side of things than he knew about, but he didn’t want to stick his nose into other people’s business. This night was about relaxing, not rehashing the bad shit.

Adam had once been taught that he’d been born to stand apart from humanity, amongst but not a part of it. The preservation of mankind’s destiny required forsaking anything that’d inhibit neutrality or cause a Hunter to become entangled in disputes between human beings. Thus Adam had grown up play-acting, his life during the day just a pleasant cover identity for who he really was. 

Now it was all he was. 

This reversal tugged at Adam as he watched his friends banter and meander on the way to actually choosing a movie. All his life Adam had been told to focus, remain vigilant against the inevitable return of the old gods. Was that why he lost his powers? Focusing too much on enjoying humanity’s company instead of protecting it? 

These and other thoughts whirled behind Adam’s grin as he accepted the beer. “Glad my beach body lives rent free in your head Con,” Adam replied with a wink to Connor at the mention of being the jock of his dreams. 

“Dunno about Happy Death Day, I’ve had about enough dead chick drama for a while.”

Adam ‘thought’ for a moment, which is to say he took a few glugs of beer like a man dying of thirst in the desert and went with the first idea that popped up in his brain when the alcohol hit his system. 

“Let’s do truth or dare while we decide? Bet that should be a trip with well...us”

Blanche had a hold on the remote, somewhat zoning out while people debated the choice in movie. She was doing that more, lately, but she had always been easily distracted. That was more because ghosts though. Only at the mention of Truth or Dare did Blanche snap out of it. Leaning against the armrest, she took a sip of her beer, glancing over at Adam. Considering it a moment, she put the remote down. “I'm down for a game of Truth or Dare,” she said, glancing around. Was this what all parties were like? She looked over at Nell, almost a little unsure for a second. “Sounds like fun?”

In all honesty, Nell much preferred the concept of Truth or Dare in comparison to a movie. At this rate with all the strangeness that made its home in White Crest, horror flicks were nearly laughable at times. Besides- Truth or Dare was probably something that demanded more attention, which was a welcome distraction from current stressors. And that was the whole point of this get together, wasn’t it? Giving Blanche a reassuring nod, Nell sat straighter on the couch as if readying herself for the game. “Let’s do it.” She took another draw of her drink before looking around the circle with a new and challenging glint in her eyes. “Who wants to go first?”

“Truth or Dare? That’s on Netflix as well,” Connor said, flicking through the horror suggestions until he found it. Only a few clicks in did he realise that wasn’t what Adam had been referring to. “Oh, did you mean the actual game?” He laughed, just switching to a music playlist in the background and folding his feet under him while he made himself comfy on the sofa. “Wait a minute, I’m down and everything, but someone’s gonna have to explain what rules we’re playing by. Everyone does ‘em different.” 

Truth or dare sounded like the worst idea possible. Orion did not consider himself to be a very daring person by nature. But at the rate life had been going the last month, he wasn’t exactly keen on the idea of answering any truths either. Not that he was far bound to answer truthfully anyways... unless that was a thing in White Crest. Regardless, the result terrified him. But the Rio here tonight wanted to be the okay version of Rio. The one not bogged down by the death of his parents. So he took a long drink from the cider and wiped at his mouth, making the gesture overly dramatic to try to hide the soured look he gave from the taste of alcohol. “Me. I’ll go first. Dare me.” This was absolutely a bad idea, but Rio had gotten pretty good at those. “Oh. Rules?” Rio heard what Connor questioned, but had never played the game before. “Cool. Well explain the rules and then dare me.”

This was just about the last game that Athena wanted to play. Even if she chose truth, which she wasn’t planning to, she could still omit certain aspects of it. It came along with her training and she didn’t trust most people here enough to reveal any deep secrets. So dares it would be - and it seemed like her brother was following the same path. “I mean, different versions are different but you get asked truth or dare - if it’s truth, someone can ask you any question about anything,” she raised an eyebrow at him, “and if it’s dare then you have to do whatever they ask. There’s sometimes consequences for not completing either.” She took a sip of her drink. “But dare? Since you’re new at this, we can start easy. I dare you to drink the rest of your cider in under a minute.” She crossed her legs. “Whoever’s up next, I also choose dare.”

Orion was surprised that Athena had been the first one to dare him. She had even been pretty lenient, daring him to just finish his drink. Easier said than done to a complete lightweight who had no experience drinking, but as far as the things he could have been dared to do this felt like he was getting off easily. “Done.” He had seen the movies before, so Rio kneeled down on one knee and tipped the bottle against his mouth, chugging as fast as he could. The drink instantly turned bitter against his tongue and he thought it would never end. But if he could survive his birthday he could finish a cider. He finally finished the thing off with an explosive coughing followed by him falling back on his butt. “I’m totally not going to puke.” He wasn’t sure if he was telling everyone that or trying to convince himself not to.

Adam stood up from the couch and strode to the far side of the room, gingerly stepping over and around people so as to not crunch knees or beers. He took an empty solo cup and placed it on a piece of furniture. The footballer knelt next to the door and produced a small grip-exercise ball. He offered the little squishy ball to Athena with a grin.. 

“I dare you to close your eyes and try to throw this call in the cup. Take a shot each time you miss.” 

Adam performed another one-handed vault over the back of the into his seat, but the alcohol and post-practice endorphins in his system caused the Hunter to land far more ignominiously in a heap of sinewy limbs and cushions.

“Truth”

“Easy-peasy.” Athena smirked, before standing up. She handed her cider to Ariana and grabbed the ball from Adam. “I’ve got this no problem.” She took the ball and closed her eyes, concentrating on the location of the solo cup before rolling her shoulders and giving a small toss, eyes flickering open as she heard it hit the inside. She turned around, walking by Adam before bending over to whisper in his ear. “I do have excellent reflexes, just to remind you.” She found her space back by Ariana again. “Feeling rather successful right now, I think.”

”Wow, nice!” Connor enthused as Athena hit the shot. “I’ve got a truth,” he blurted out, feeling the effects of his drink and Nell’s magic brownies, a pleasant tingling sensation overtaking his body. “Have you never done anything even the slightest bit gay? Because honestly, only the most heterosexual guy ever could have not understood those sword crossing comments,” he laughed at the memory. Ah, simpler times, when he didn’t know that half these people were murderers and there weren’t freshly resurrected evil spirits out to get them. Then again, Connor was starting to get the impression that stuff was common in White Crest. Best not get too comfortable. “And you can truth or dare me all you want. I’m not bothered, mate.” 

Ariana watched somewhat in awe as Athena performed her dare. It was definitely impressive to watch and she couldn’t help the small grin on her face as Athena came back over to take her seat by her. “That was awesome,” she said as she gave Athena a small pat on the back. There was another dare to be dished out so she quickly chimed in, “Connor, I dare you to do a dance challenge as your next YouTube video. I’m thinking the In My Feelings Challenge.” She realized that meant it was her turn, so she added, “I pick dare for myself.” 

“A Dance Challenge?” Connor snorted, waving his hand, affectionately dismissive. “That’s not my style, babe. Oh, I could definitely do it on TikTok though. You didn’t say which platform it had to be on.” He whipped out his phone, looking up a couple. “I can probably film it right now, since I’m tipsy, but you’ll have to hold my phone.” He looked up a few examples then got up, only a little wobbly on his feet. “I have no fucking idea how to do this shit,” he laughed, looking over to Ariana and handing her his phone. He’d watched a few versions of the thing he was trying to recreate. “Ready?”  

Adam hadn’t been raised with particularly strong feelings on different sexualities other than that they existed. Really, Dad had been far more concerned that his sons knew the proper masculine values of honor, wilderness survival, coordinated squad tactics, and the domestic arts of building explosives from homemade materials rather than getting hung up on what dangly bits were going where. 

“Uh,” Adam thought about Conner’s question. “Was never really wired that way, but after I pledged I was curious bout what I was missing,” the footballer acknowledged with a shameless ease. “Talked to some frat brothers who were all about that life, and they uh…showed me around…in the showers.” 

“Was kinna funnish-awkward,” he admitted with a shrug, “but not really my speed…. not sure that lgeit counts as gay though. It was just educational, y’know?”

Nell saw her opportunity as it became Ariana’s turn for a dare, and leaned forward on the couch to set down her now empty bottle on the table, feeling a nice, warm buzz as the alcohol began to do its work. She hummed for a moment, as if taking her time to come up with a suitable enough dare for the girl. Ariana knew how to go big or go home— which admittedly was something the two of them had in common. “I dare you to....” Then the idea came to her. What was the most horrendous thing that White Crest had to offer? “Match with a mime on Tinder. Match with the mime- and have at least five back and forths of texts.” Then Nell sat back, satisfied with her work to say, “And I’ll take a dare.”

“Educational and gay,” Connor nodded. “Sorry I missed it.” He made sure Ariana was ready to record and then going into the routine. He pretty much nailed it. Although he was a little drunk, it was evident that the experience and intent behind the moves was there. “Did I forget to mention I did ballet and theatre for years?” He winked into the camera before grabbing it for Ari so he could edit and laugh. “Aw, that was sick. Sorry, what was that?” His expression changed when he heard what Nell’s dare was. “There are mimes on tinder?” 

Ariana whooped and cheered into the camera as Connor finished showing off his moves. She tilted her head surprised by his revelation. “That explains the moves,” she said with a laugh, “Gotta respect a guy who knows ballet, right?” As Nell took the chance to dare her, she looked to her with a raised brow that was practically challenging her to do her worst. She burst out laughing at the thought of mimes on Tinder. “Oh god,” she said through laughs, “Blanche get over here and help me mime-ify my Tinder.” It was only a few back and forth messages. Hopefully, the profile update wouldn’t ruin future matches, but she found she was losing interest in it anyhow, especially with her current roommate. “I’m thinking more dramatic and artsy to go with the mime vibe?” 

“Nell!” Blanche said, “That's cruel!” But she was laughing. She pushed herself to her feet, though, and carefully made her way to grab Ariana’s phone. “Artsy, got it.” A Connoisseur of Mime. Don't talk to me if you don't mime. And if you do mime… you know what to do ;-----). Blanche read over what she wrote, before she grinned, hanging the phone back to Ariana. “Happy swiping!” Which meant… Blanche turned to Nell, a mischievous smile on her face. “In order to get revenge for poor Ariana… I dare you to call the Stripe Club to inquire about employment opportunities and if you get an interview, you gotta go.” Blanche said proudly. 

She paused, considering her own options. “Truth. For me, I mean.”

“There are definitely mimes on Tinder,” Nell confirmed with a grin, having seen some of them for herself during perusals of the app. “Maybe Ari will find her true love with a mime, who knows?” It was disturbing to say the least, though sometimes she’d match with a mime just to troll them for a while. After all— every mime was guilty by association. She should have expected the mimery to be turned back on her, but still pulled a revolted face at the thought of going anywhere near a mime establishment. “If I die- it’s your fault,” she pointed an accusing finger towards Blanche all while googling the number for the Stripe Club. She wasn’t sure who exactly it was that asked Blanche her truth while Nell began her job search at a mime strip club and Ariana commenced her swiping. Someone was leaning over to watch the dance video Connor had made, and another person was getting up to grab another drink from the fridge. The air was warm and bright as the night stretched onwards, and it seemed that against all odds the youth of White Crest had finally managed to find a single evening where they were allowed to exist only as themselves, and not the people the world forced them to be. 

[devourer--of--books]

I’m mad about Hunter being written off and here’s why you should be too

You: wasted potential.

Me, an intellectual: ah, Hunter and Nicola’s friendship

I have strong opinions about Hunter.

Yeah, you heard me right.

Look, I have strong opinions about many, many, things. Today, we are taking a dive on Hunter and Nicola. First I’d like to blame this post on Kate, as I decided to make it after I tried to articulate why Hunter being written off TCY makes me so angry in a huge comment under her latest OTK post but it ended up being too big and messy so I deleted it. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone elaborate on it, so if you were also mad about this, bro, not to be intense, but like, are we soulmates or...??

Before anything else, as I usually do with my text posts (which I haven’t done in a while, opsies), I shall provide you with arguably unnecessary context. Sit down, grab yourself some snacks, make yourself at home, I’m about to rant you into oblivion.

Since I know many accounts weren’t around back then, I’ll also give you the socio-political vibes of the time period, as any self-respecting half-baked essay written last minute should.

POV, you’re 14/15 year-old me. You flat iron your hair, you don’t use sunscreen, you think you’re straight and your school makes you wear those horrid low rise uniform pants, but at least you can somewhat do your make-up decently now that you grew out of your emo phase.

The year was 2016. The Ever Never Handbook has just come out. You re-watch the handbook trailer on youtube for the fifteenth time. Everyone is losing their minds over OcTObeR 14tH and “a student named Agatha ~ now Agatha of Camelot~”, as well as the portraits and the teasing for a new SGE book. Quests For Glory is announced just a few days later. 2016 tagatha ship week happens a few months down the line. 

This is the SGE Tumblr Fandom Peak.

Now, let’s start right there, two-ish weeks after the release of the Handbook, right as the QFG announcement comes out.

We all knew Soman wasn’t done with SGE after TLEA. He definitely had been teasing something in his weekly blogs (lol, remember when I used to check the blog, what a time to be alive) and once we got the ENH, we got quite lot of info to theorize. Here’s some that I can think off the top of my head: 

- The coven was going on a mission to find a new School Master.

- Tedros and Agatha were struggling financially in Camelot but were going to get married soon (even if Sophie doubted Tedros would have asked Agatha yet, as of the time of the Ever Never RoundTable, but we’re taking that with a grain of salt, because she was written to sound jealous here, and I won’t acknowledge that kinda of bs, she is happy for her friends okay, we’ve been though this-)

- Sophie had completely remodeled the School For Evil and was getting on Dovey and the rest of the faculty’s nerves (except for newly hired history teacher, Hort).

- The rest of the supporting cast had just graduated third year and was to be off in quests soon.

- The School was now accepting applications, and two of those applicants are Nicola and Bogden.

Now, I’m not even gonna bring up how it was mentioned in a video in EverNeverTv that Bogden would be an important character in TCY, and yet, I can’t think of anything relevant about him other than the fact that he knew tarot apparently, or how his application had more personality than him in the entire series, or how he was basically there so we could look at him and Willam and be like “oh, representation”, or how he’d be a good insight on how Galvadon perceives Sophie and Agatha post-TLEA, or- I’m just not gonna.

Oh, no. Instead, we are here to discuss Nicola’s application.

If your memory is foggy, let me remind you:

Nicola’s application is submitted, according to the Handbook, by her friend, Hunter. For convenience sake, we’ll assume Hunter is a guy (I’ll tell you why Hunter being a guy works better for me in a bit), but his gender is not mentioned anywhere in the ENH. I don’t think he has been gendered in any version (correct me if I’m wrong) or if there are any pronouns for him during TCY, but I’m fairly confident he isn’t mentioned at all.

Hunter tells us he is applying on Nic’s behalf, as she’d never apply for herself. He mentions that she is more or less the Galvadon equivalent of an activist for women’s rights, founding a rugby unisex team and campaigning for pants instead of skirts for the local school uniform, as well as having a feminist sounding book as her favorite book. It’s heavily implied that she is a jock, as he lists that, if marooned on a desert island, Nicola would want to have a soccer ball, a hockey stick and a set of dumbbells (“and none of this 5-lb nonsense”) with her.

Upon asked why Nicola should go to the school, his answer is: “because there’s a greater place for her in the world, where she can learn a girl’s true worth, and I don’t think it’s here.”

Then you have a note from (*rolls eyes* *suppresses a gag* *tears hair out*) the very late, long, long gone, absolutely dead, August Sader, telling the Deans to accept her application, despite having no reason to do so, as Nicola was to “play a crucial role in it’s [the school’s] survival.” Dovey and Sophie agree to flip a coin to decide which school will take her, which Sophie must have lost, as Nicola is accepted into the School For Evil.

By now, I think we all agree that Nicola was done dirty. If you check my QFG re-read you’ll notice that I complained about her there. As I had to go though her introduction chapter again to make this post, let me tell you why: Nicola wasn’t written to be likeable.

She simply wasn’t. That’s the one conclusion I can draw. Whether that’s intentional or not, I can’t tell, but the backlash she received was fairly useful, as it meant Soman could write her off the main story without much backlash from his target audience (aka, not us, pesky pretentious older readers).

The Nicola I was introduced to, not only in the Handbook but on her trailer for QFG was not the girl on QFG. 

Nic is there to be the smart  girl™, and while I do appreciate having a character who is a bit cocky about their brains, it just doesn’t work well there. Because her bond to other characters and the way she earns their respect feels so weak, she just comes across as pretentious. Characters like Hester and Agatha, who are supposed to be smart, feel dumbed down to show us how clever Nicola is. Agatha is supposed to be the resourceful thinker and Hester wanted to be class captain, you bet she studied like crazy, she probs knows every fairytale in existence. 

Then you add that to the (*rolls eyes* *suppresses a gag* *tears hair out*) Nicola and Hort fiasco and Nic feels like a weirdly written OC insert.

Handbook!Nicola sounded like a smart jock kind of character (read, more Gryffindor than Ravenclaw). Handbook!Nic was a Reader who read the tales as a hobby, but her favorite book is not a tale, it’s a non-fiction book (as far as I can tell). She might not be the fairytale expert, but she sounds like a practical thinker, as sport requires strategy, which is not Hester’s strong suit, given she is rather impulsive, or Agatha’s, given she is often unwilling to make hard decisions due to her Good nature and her own insecurities. C’mon, Handbook!Nic would have taken one look at Hort and sent him running to hills, because she would be able to smell his bs three miles away. She’s no one’s replacement, least of all Sophie’s (whom she probably would not have gotten along with (at least they got this part right) given Sophie’s “my prince will sweep me away from an ordinary life” phylosophy). To be honest she doesn’t sound like she’d be interested in dating at all.

But this post is about Hunter right? Let me remind you, Hunter is not mentioned in Nicola’s introduction, when she talks about her life in Galvadon. Canon!Nicola tells us that she has two brothers who want to inherit her father’s pub in order to sell the place, but Nicola is close with her father and likes working there to some extent, even if she has bigger ambitions. She believes her brothers sent her application as a way to get rid of her.

Back when I still had some faith that Soman had an arc for Nicola that included resolution, I had my theories as to why she wouldn’t mention Hunter: maybe he was to appear in later books and they’d have a huge backstory explaining their friendship, as well as a dramatic confession that Hunter sent her application because he felt Nicola deserved to live an adventure, and Nicola would either realize that she was meant for something more or that she wanted to live a quiet life, honestly either would be nice. I would have taken anything. Truly, if Nicola’s k-pop boyfriend in the OTK epilogue had been replaced with Hunter, I might be able to hate it less.

Especially if they came to the (*rolls eyes* *suppresses a gag* *tears hair out*) school wedding as friends. Because you know what?

We are starved for male-female friendships in the SGE universe.

Tedros’s only female friends (all his friends in general) are Agatha’s friends (who all tried to get rid of him at some point, save for maybe Dot) and his actual friends are all dead (Bettina/Chaddick). Hort could be counted as Agatha’s friend, if only he didn’t bash her every five seconds like a moron (he literally pitched the idea that Agatha should be executed by Tedros in OTK, just because he was envious or her relationship with Sophie (not jealous, envious, because Sophie wasn’t his to begin with)) over his delusional sense entitlement of Sophie’s affections (which I hate, but as this is not a Hort-bashing post, I won’t get too much into), but the coven, Beatrix, Renna and co. would not touch him with a stick. Merlin’s friendship with Lady Of The Lake is gone, and Dovey is dead. Rhian and Kei both had that frenemies thing with Sophie in ACOT/beggining of OTK, but I think it was supposed to be romantic? It wasn’t ew (I hate Rhian but he’s also wasted potential, and so was Kei, whom I liked, rest in peace). Japeth hates women for??? Whatever. Willam and Bodgen are such background characters I could not care less about them. The new students weren’t memorable enough for me to remember their names. I think this about covers the main male cast.

There’s a lack of male friendships too, but we kinda have (*rolls eyes* *suppresses a gag* *tears hair out*) Tort and whatever was that rushed Tedros/Chaddick friendship.  Rhian and Kei were gay friends (yeah, right, sure, very platonic). Tedros and Rhian could have been friends if Rhian redeemed himself, but otherwise no. Tedros and Filip… gay. Japeth literally killed Rhian, so also not very good friendship between brothers. Hort has no friends, because Ravan would so not be here for his bs. Willam and Bogden are a couple and (*rolls eyes* *suppresses a gag* *tears hair out*) so were Aric and Japeth, I guess.

Still don’t believe Hunter was wasted potential? Okay, let me tell you what my ideal Nicola arc would be, mixing Handbook!Nicola with some canon!Nicola and including Hunter.

- Nicola is the one inheriting the pub (once she gets married), despite Galvadon’s pre-TLEA sexism and conservative views, because she is her father’s only child and her brothers are actually her older half-siblings from her mother’s previous marriage.

- Her mom died at some point early in her childhood. Not a childbirth tho, because Callis, local witch gynecologist (have you checked my post on this yet? no? you should) was there for her, even if it was a high risk pregnancy because the mom was already older.

- Because of that, Nicola’s father actually sells bread to Callis for cheaper prizes, but don’t tell the elders, shhh

- Anyway, because her mom was gone so early, Nicola was raised by her dad, brothers and by the employees (mostly men, as I don’t think it was all that common for women to work jobs in Galvadon) of her father’s pub. Due to being a girl, most guys weren’t willing to befriend her (sexism, am I right), but because she was a tomboy she had difficulty bonding with the other girls at school, even when they weren’t outright hostile (cof cof Sophie). 

- Example: she and Belle had a tentative bond over their love of cooking, but often ran out of things to talk about and the conversation fell flat.

- Which is how she ends up befriending Hunter. 

- Hunter is the only boy in a family of many girls and his father works all day. He has a good heart and is rather emotional, but he always feels like he has something to prove, which leads him to being rather impulsive. Both Nicola and Hunter love sports and are very competitive people. Once Nicola gains his respect, he feels very protective of her and often feels the need to stand up for her, even if she doesn’t need it.

- Nicola knows Hunter feels overlooked in his family, so she is always inviting him over and taking care of him, keeping him out of trouble. Her father begins to see him as his own son, and soon he spends more time at Nicola’s house than at his own.

- Everyone thinks they’ll get married some day. His sisters tease him mercilessly about it, and so does Nic’s father, but frankly, Nic and Hunter see each other as family.

- You can bet Hunter is the one teaching Nic about periods after asking his sisters, so she wouldn’t have to suffer with Galvadon’s horrid Sex Ed. (go check the Callis headcanon’s okay, give me clout, that it my favorite post I’ve ever made)

- They tried to kiss once. Nicola vomited and Hunter gaged.

- Hunter is Nicola’s number one supporter and fan, 100% had those gender-equality pins she made for her campaigns all over his bags and jackets.

- Since most wedding matches are arranged by the elders before girls even graduate, it was settled that Nic and Hunter would get married to each other and then inherit the pub. It would of course, be a secretly platonic match and they would suspiciously have no children (Nicola even had a plan to visit Callis to get a potion for infertility, just in case the elders wanted to check on her... okay, I’ll stop).

- Hunter doesn’t tell her, but Nicola knows he wants to marry for love and have a family of his own. She tries to talk him out of marrying her, but he insists that he would be doing it out of love for her, even if not romantic, because Nic didn’t deserve to be matched up with some stranger she barely knows who would no doubt be less tolerant of her more radical views.

- She tells him it’d be fine for him to have a affairs then, but he insists he would never do that to her, because people would talk about Nic if that was the case and her reputation would be ruined.

- The night of Sophie and Agatha kidnapping Nicola tells him she would rather be taken to the School than to stay there and make him live an unhappy life.

- Hunter is horrified (remember, everyone thought going to the school was a fate worse than death) and makes her promise to never treat her life so fickly.

- Sophie and Agatha get taken, come back, but during Tedros’ reign of terror in Galvadon, right before they return to the Woods, Nicola’s father grows very very sick.

- Nic thinks he’s going to die, and she frets, not only because they’re close but also because she can’t inherit the place if she doesn’t marry Hunter. But, well, she sort of always knew, but now that feels very real, she thought she had some more time before that.

- They set a date for the wedding, but thankfully, Tedros and Agatha’s escape ends up causing the ceremony to be delayed.

- By the time the new date is set, there’s no more elders and Stefan is now mayor.

- But just because he is the mayor doesn’t mean the law and the sexism is gone overnight.

- Nic’s father is getting somewhat better, but she is still very worried about him, because of his old age.

- Once SGE starts having applications and has been proved to be, well, somewhat safe, Hunter suggests that Nicola applies, but after the scare that she might lose her father sooner rather than later, she tells him she can’t bring herself to leave him.

- Hunter doesn’t want her to throw her life away, specially now knowing that in the Endless Woods there were people like her and that progress would get there before it ever got to Galvadon 

- (He also wants to not marry someone he views as a sister, pls).

- So he files her application in secret.

- Nicola gets accepted, upon Sader’s request and Sophie’s bad luck, into the School For Evil. She and Sophie still don’t get along, the Evil castle rejects her and she gets pushed to Good, becoming an Ever, but she’s only staying until Christmas, because she is worried sick about her father.

- She thinks the application was a plot from her brothers because she doesnt think Hunter would ever betray her trust like that, after she specifically told him she wouldn't go.

- There’s no Hicola, instead, she and Hort become friends and she talks him out of his delusions with Sophie, because as much as Nicola dislikes her, Sophie was a girl too, and deserved to have her feelings respected. 

- She also punches Hort into giving up his envy of Tedros and Agatha while at it, because she is just that efficient.

- Everything else up to OTK can be pretty much the same because I can’t remember what happens, other than everytime Nicola is smart girl™, it’s not “because she reads”, but because she is practical. 

- Example: on the boat scene where she very pretentiously sasses Agatha for not saying hello to her (canon!Nicola, girl, she just suffered six months of loneliness at Camelot because Tedros shut her out and is now on a quest to save her happy ending, probs didn’t get much sleep, maybe cut her some slack) and then tells her how to sail a boat (despite the fact that there are no boats in Galvadon and I’m sure you can’t just read Peter Pan and learn to sail a boat, unless I did it wrong or something, maybe the storian version comes with a crash course). Here, instead, Nicola presses Hort (who is a pirate’s son) to remember literally anything to help them (therefore making him not completely useless on this quest), and he does and they tell Agatha and she’s like sure and does it.

- Now, in OTK, I literally can’t remember where Nicola was for most of it and I read that book not too long ago, so I’m worried. 

- Okay, so, have the Knights Of Eleven actually serve some purpose, include a scene where Tedros and Nicola stress-play rugby and get her some internal conflict.

- Nic now loves this world. She just spent the last few weeks fighting to protect it. She is now a Knight, and she loves the adventures and the new friends she made. Can she really go back to Gavaldon to take care of a pub? Well, she needs to, doesn’t she? That’s what a good daughter would do.

- After Japeth’s execution, Nic goes straight home.

- Her father’s condition is stable, as he is being treated by Hunter and his new wife.

- Oh boy, Hunter has some explaining to do.

- Nicola is furious that he broke her trust, but at the same time, she’s happy he’s happy and well, Hunter what do you have to say for yourself?

- “Damn, Nic, nice armour- ouch, my arm!”

- Apparently, since Nicola was taken, Stefan approved a law for people to be able to leave their inheritance to whomever they wanted. And since Nic was gonna be at the Woods, her father was more than happy to leave it to Hunter. Of course, unless Nicola wanted to stay at Gavaldon. 

- Does she? She’s not sure.

- Hunter and Nicola attend the tagatha wedding at Camelot (what, like I wasn’t gonna fix this part?), Hunter is Nic’s plus one.

- There, Hester, Anadil and Dot show her Sader’s note, and ask her, not to become School Master, but to become Dean Of Good, because she would be perfect for the new brand of Good to match Sophie’s Evil. You know, since she is all for gender-equality, good manners, practicality and was particularly good at dealing with Sophie’s bs.

- Since Tedros has the Storian Ring, the pen doesn’t need actual protection, well, not more than it can get from Nic and Sophie.

- Sophie herself insists that Nicola accept the position, not because she doesn’t want to be alone at the school now that Hort and Dovey are dead, no, of course not, since when did Sophie ever need anyone, she was just asking cause… cause Nicola looked lonely. The pretty boy who came with her was not her boyfriend, was he? Sophie was prettier than him anyway. Who needs a boy when they can have her?

- Whether they become a couple or not, I’ll let you decide.

- Bonus: years later, Hunter’s eldest daughter is accepted at the School for Good. Nicola is her godmother, and her favoritism shows.

There, if nothing else, the reason you should be mad about Hunter and the Handbook in general is because this didn’t happen.

[theskyeandsea]

Do You Wanna Be My Roommate? || Rio & Skye

Timing: December 10th

Location: Nic & Skylar’s Home

Tagging: @3starsquinn & @theskyeandsea

Description: In the wake of Winson’s departure from town, Skylar and Rio reclaim weeb night!

Warnings: Drug use mentions, chronic illness symptoms mentions, addiction 

Tugging at the sleeves of her shirt, Skylar looked around the house-- it looked normal, right? The last time someone had been here, she’d been caught off guard and hadn’t had time to try and make the place look presentable. But, she had invited Rio here, wanted to be here to support him. Because that was what a good friend did, and they, they were still friends. She wanted to be there for him because break ups were hard. She might not know much about them, but she remembered how much it had hurt when Shiloh had left town, in much the same way to Winston. Just a quick word and then Skylar was left with the other woman’s absence.

Swallowing, Skylar hooked her hearing aids in and turned them on. Dundee was sitting on the edge of the couch, watching her from his nest of blankets. He used to like spending time in her room, but lately he spent most of his time out in the living room. Maybe he was waiting for Nic to come home? Before she could fall too far down that rabbit hole, the doorbell rang and she hurried to the door. “Rio! Hey--” Her eyes flicked over his appearance and she blinked. “Are… What happened to you?”

Orion and Skylar had made plans, he didn’t want to cancel those just because he had almost been murdered and spent a few days in the hospital. He hadn’t seen her in awhile, his own life being too caught up in the trauma and the drama. As if the Lydia situation hadn’t been horrifying enough, Winston’s departure and the werewolf attack had to add a little extra disaster to Rio’s life. Just in time for the holidays. But despite the solemn mood Rio had been stuck in, he had no plans in continuing that tonight. He was hoping to enjoy his time with Skylar tonight, where the both of them could take their minds off of everything keeping them down.

When Skylar answered the door he could see that she had her hearing aids in, but he signed anyways as he greeted her. It was mostly out of habit, but he enjoyed the practice regardless. “Oh. These” Rio grinned nervously, he supposed he couldn’t ignore the fact that it happened, no matter how much he wished he could pretend he had never seen any of those dead bodies. Or heard their screams. “There was an… incident a few nights ago. A werewolf attacked a cafe that I was at.” Though his hoodie and jeans worked to block the main injuries that he had suffered, bruises and cuts all over his face and hands were still far too visible. Realizing that he was a hunter who just told Skylar about a werewolf attack, Rio thought that he should specify, “I didn’t kill it. Just uh- so we’re clear. I just tried to stop it from hurting others.” He did stab it. But he remembered how scared Skylar had been about hunters. He didn’t want to freak her out, “It’s alive. And hopefully back to human and not hurting anyone.”

Stepping out of the way to let him in, Skylar did her best not to stare at the cuts as he explained. An attack? A werewolf? What had happened to them? Not that Skylar knew many werewolves-- just Ulfric, the man from the coffee shop with all the tattoos, and Ariana, who she’d only known as a student until recently-- but they’d both seemed… in control. The thoughts slid through her mind like water, though, slipping from her mind as she led the way to the living room. Dundee was still curled up in the pile of blankets, little tail wagging as he caught sight of Rio and stared at the young man with his beedy, unblinking eyes. “It? You mean… them, right?” Skylar said, the words coming out before she could stop herself. But, werewolves, they were people. Maybe not human people, just like she wasn’t human people. But they were people, right? “I-- sorry though. That something like that happened to you. I’m glad you didn’t need to hurt anyone badly, though.” She nodded. 

Sliding through the front door, Orion was surprised by how long ago it seemed that he had last been here to hang out with Skylar. Despite that, it came with a surprising familiarity to follow her down the hall and into the living room. As per usual, Dundee stared at Rio as if staring directly into his soul. The dog was cute and incredibly uncomforting at the same time. “Hey buddy!” Rio went over to the pet little guy regardless. At Skylar’s words, Rio froze. His hand hovered to his bottom lip, barely pressing against it almost in shock of what had just come out of his mouth. “I-uh” It. When had Rio ever talked like that? He had spent his entire life trying and failing to convince his family that there was humanity to supernatural creatures. Especially werewolves, who weren’t destined to be murderous monsters their entire lives. How had that same person become the one that casually referred to a living person as it? “Sorry. Yeah. Them.” He pulled his hand away, shoving both of them into his pockets and refusing to make eye contact with Skylar for a moment. The word kept repeating itself in his head over and over again. “It’s okay. The werewolf, I don’t know who they were. But they didn’t have control. I don’t know if they woke up remembering everything or completely ignorant. That’s scary stuff.” A chill shot down Rio’s spine and he readjusted his stance a bit too quickly, catching his breath at the sudden pains. He slowly stretched out before forcing a smile back onto his face. “Sorry, I want this to be a fun night. All this’ll be gone in a few days anyways. Let’s just try to have fun.”

Skylar barely noticed the way that Rio went stock still-- it was the way his hand moved that caught her attention. He hadn’t even realized he’d said it, had he? Tilting her head slightly, she did her best to peer at him. But, the trace amounts of Bliss kept her floating, just floating on by, and it was always a little hard to grab the finer details. But, she could tell that he was upset. And she didn’t want him to be upset, she really didn’t. Rio was a good guy, a good person. “I hope they’re okay. And the other people who were hurt too-- and you too! Obviously. But. I hope they’re okay.” She said, knowing all too well how much it hurt to have gaps in your memory, to have entire parts of yourself locked away. Noticing the way his chest caught, Skylar blinked. “You’re not still hurt are you? You didn’t need to-- we could have cancelled if you’re still hurt. Sit down, sit down.” She said, urging him to take a seat. She could still take care of people, she could still do this. She could be the Skylar everyone wanted her to be. 

Orion nodded his head, maybe a bit too enthusiastically. He didn’t need Skylar too worried about his wounds. She had already helped him before when that evil watermelon thing had bitten him. Just like that time, these would heal. “I’m okay. I’m still sore, but it’s not too bad. I’ll heal quickly anyways.” He still hated his hunter abilities. Not because they weren’t useful, he had been attacked way too many times for him to try to claim that. It just didn’t seem fair that he got this advantage while others around him were put at risk. “Seriously, I wanted to come over here. I’m happy to be here, sore or not.” Rio grinned, slowly easing himself back and onto the couch. “If I had cancelled I would have just ended up lying in my bed at the house all night anyways. I definitely didn’t want to do that. So you’re doing me a favor.”

“If you say so.” Skylar said as Rio took a seat on the couch. Walking to the fridge, she pulled out a bottle of water and a can of Mountain Dew. She’d remembered that he liked them when she had been wandering down the aisles at the store, running her fingers against the shelves. “Want a drink? There might be some beer left over from when Nic was here, if you’d like. I don’t really keep beer here.” She said as she scanned the shelves. “I’ve never really been able to do the whole… post-break up ice cream and cookie dough thing that you see in movies, but I have both if you’d like.” She offered. “But, ah-- sorry. That might be too soon to say.” At Rio’s words, Skylar nodded, a smile spreading on her face. She was helping him. “Of course. I’m glad I can do something to make you feel better. And hey, Yuri on Ice is a great show, it always cheers me up.”

Skylar disappeared in the kitchen for a moment and came back with a mountain dew. Orion sat forward enthusiastically to reach for it, trying to be careful not to stretch too many injured muscles. It was only partially effective. “Oh you’re the best thank you so much.” He had been so tired recently, he needed some caffeine. The mention of Nic was a sudden reminder that he had been her only roommate. He knew about him no longer being in town but he hadn’t exactly connected the dots. “Oh right. You don’t have any other roommates do you? You have this whole place to yourself?” It was a big house, something that could either be a lot of fun or really lonely depending on the person. “It’s been weird at my house too. Ricky’s always so busy at the workshop that it was usually just Winston and I. Now that he’s not there it’s just a whole house to myself with all the things Winston and I used to do.” Rio shrugged. Admittedly, it had bothered him how much time he spent noticing small things that Winston left behind. But there wasn’t much he could do about it for now. “I have no experience with post break up junk food, but am assuming that it tastes similar to regular junk ice cream and cookie dough. Both of which I’m a huge fan of.” But more than sugary distractions, Rio was mostly excited for another reboot of their anime night. Hopefully this time it would be without the snooping or weird tension that was present the previous times. “I cannot wait, I am so pumped for this it’s been on my list forever.”

“Of course.” Skylar beamed as she handed him the soda before settling down on the couch with some space between them. Dundee glanced over at her, as though waiting for her to do something, but when she flipped on the tv, he plopped his head back down on the nest of blankets. “Nope, it’s just me.” This place had been Erin’s home for a bit too, but the memory of their last encounter came back to her mind-- No. Smiling wider, she pushed the thought away. Now wasn’t the time to think about that. Erin wasn’t coming back here. “Mhm, that’s… That sounds hard.” Skylar had never lived with Shiloh, hadn’t even really reached the stage where she spent much time at the other woman’s home. But, she felt for Rio. Being in a place where there was just the constant presence of someone who he’d cared about, who was so very much not here? She dealt with that some since Nic had left, the little knick knacks and knives tucked around the house hammering home the fact that he was gone. “Sounds good. Let me just get Netflix up.” She said, scrolling through the lists with a slightly clumsy hand. She skipped around until the familiar ice-skating anime popped up. “I’m so excited for you to watch this, I think you’ll really enjoy it.”

Orion stretched across the couch as much as he could to scratch on Dundee’s head before returning to his original position. Skylar was navigating the tv to find the show and Rio studied her as she did so. Outwardly, she seemed fine with living alone. Nothing in her initial statement indicated that she hated the idea of living alone. The place did seem pretty sweet, especially considering it had the pool for private sessions when she needed to change. On paper, he probably seemed perfect. But speaking from his own experiences, Rio knew that a place like this would be incredibly lonely. He wondered what Skylar thought of it. Right now, he wasn’t sure if it would be rude to ask. “I’m so excited” Rio clapped his hands together and leaned back on the couch to settle in when Skylar pressed play.

The rest of the night passed without anything weird or out of the ordinary happening-- a rarity that Skylar honestly hadn’t expected. It was nice, to watch anime and pretend like there was nothing wrong. They could pretend like this town wasn’t awful, like this place wasn’t terrible. As Yuri took a victory lap around the ice rink, Skylar let out a sigh, stretching. The motion sent a slight twinge of pain down her back, but she ignored it. She could handle a little pain, just for now. She had wanted to be present for this, to spend time with Rio. And, once he was gone, she would be able to slip back down into the haze of Bliss. “Such a good show. Did you like it?” She asked as Dundee padded across the couch and leaned against her, his head resting against her leg. “I’m glad you were able to come over for this, I missed having anime nights.” Skylar said, a little surprised that it was true. 

They had truly binged out with this one. In what was probably their first fully successful attempt at an anime night the two both watched the show in relative quiet. Every now and again one would speak up or they would both laugh at something. But other than that, the two had seemed perfectly content with simply being in each other’s company. The show was exactly the sort of feel good emotion that Orion so desperately needed. Watching their relationship slowly grow into what it became by the end of the show was enough to bring a tear to Rio’s eyes. By the time the last episode finished, there was a stream of tears running down his face. “No. It was awful.” Rio lied, a single laugh bursting through his tears. Even then, Rio crossed his arms and grumbled grumpily, “The show had no right ending like that. I hated it.” A small smile split across his face though, and he eventually conceded, “Nah. I’m kidding. That was amazing and I’m so glad we started it back up. I miss them too.” Even for the drama they had once been. “We should definitely get back into the habit of doing them.”

Looking over at Rio, Skylar blinked in surprise-- she hadn’t realized he’d cried. She must have missed that, must… not have noticed. She swallowed, pushing the thought side and smiled back at him. “Good! I’m glad that you did, it’s such a great show. The characters are all so good and you really kinda root for all of them by the end of it.” She said with a nod. Running a hand through her choppy hair, Skylar looked over at the television, the screen darkened. She could see the two of them reflected, sitting back on the couch. Two lonely people, just a little less alone for the time being. Biting the inside of her cheek, Skylar thought to the spare key that was tucked away in her room. She trusted Rio. It had taken time, but she knew that he was sorry for what he’d done, he’d promised to never pry into her things after their disastrous first anime night. And… it was lonely. “Hey, Rio.” She said tentatively, not really sure how to broach the subject, “I know that things at… Ricky’s must be weird. Things here are weird too, with all of Nic’s stuff being here, but him being gone. And, like I said, I can’t really imagine what it’s like to have to deal with, everything else on top of it.” She said, skirting around the words “break up” as best as she could manage. “But, if you wanted, you could stay here?” Skylar asked, looking hopefully over at him. Maybe having someone around would help. Someone who understood, at least a little, what it was like to not fit into the role that the world wanted her to be.

The question had taken Orion by surprise. He paused for a long moment as he tried to understand exactly what Skylar had meant by ‘stay here’. At first he had just meant for the night, which Rio was ready to thank her for the offer but also assure that he didn’t live too far away. It wasn’t like he had been drinking or anything. But she had mentioned Nic’s things, just as Rio had talked about Winston’s items that were left behind. But he had never said any of those things in an attempt to guilt Skylar into asking him to move in. Even with the awkwardness, Rio hadn’t considered moving out of the house. “Are you… serious?” Rio finally asked, his voice soft and curious. “I don’t want to like… put you in a weird place. Where you feel like you have to offer.”

Was she serious? Skylar wasn’t entirely sure, but, the idea of not being totally alone, of having someone around-- at least part of the day-- was tempting. And she liked Rio. She trusted Rio. He was good and he knew about that side of her, which meant she wouldn’t need to hide it from him. Not that she’d ever needed to with Nic, but, having one less secret from her roommate would be nice. And just, having a roommate, maybe that would make things better. Maybe it would lessen the ache inside her. Nodding, Skylar gestured to the space around them. “I know I don’t need to offer. But, I never really wanted to live on my own. And, I trust you.” She said with a small smile. “In a town like this, that’s… hard to find. You don’t need to say yes, and you can definitely think about it. But, the offer’s here.” 

The offer was tempting. The more Orion thought about it, the more he realized how lonely his house felt now. With Ricky constantly working and Winston gone it felt like he lived in an abandoned home. Too big for him. He missed Winston, but he had no chance of taking his mind off of them when he walked past their bedroom door every day and was constantly reminded of all the memories they had there. But Rio wasn’t truly convinced until Skylar told him that she trusted him. It had been a rocky road up to this point. Rio had lied and invaded her privacy. He hadn’t deserved her friendship at all, let alone her trust. But somehow, here they were. “Yes.” Rio nodded quickly. “I mean, I don’t need to think about it. If you’re one hundred percent sure then the answer is yes” Rio laughed in relief, a pressure that had been in his chest all week finally beginning to lift. He hadn’t even realized that it had been there in the first place. “I- Thank you so much. I seriously can’t describe what that means to me.”

The way that Rio laughed, the genuine sound of relief-- before tonight, when was the last time Skylar had heard that sound? Since before Nic had left? The memory came back to her, fuzzy around the edges in the way that most of her memories were now. It was one of the nights when they’d both shared a meal, idly talking about their day and then, out of nowhere, Dundee had hopped up onto the table and stolen a steak right off her plate. The two had sat in startled silence for a minute as the little dog scarfed down the piece of meat, T-bone and all, before bursting into laughter. And tonight, she and Rio had been able to laugh and talk and make this house feel a little less lonesome. It felt a little more like the home that she had hoped for. But, Skylar shifted on the couch, the sharp rush of pain pushing just a little bit harder. “One ground rule, though?” She said, a small smile on her face as she stuck out her hand, “No more poking around in my room.” 

[bluesimba]

No-go

Fandom: Gangsta 

Pairing: Nicolas Brown/Reader

Warning: suggestiveness, all the things that come with gangsta

Notes: hello I love gangsta and would take a bullet for one nicolas brown. for the thot sabby b/c I always scream with her

It rains. Not a soft pitter-patter that makes grass bend or that hits the inside of an empty metal pail—but a downpour that drowns out Nic’s snoring. The space between you two, sometimes fiery, sometimes freezing, always empty, could fit another person. You sneak your arm out from under the covers and trail your hand along the floor, scooping your tank top up. The bed doesn’t squeak when you untangle yourself from the covers and throw your legs over the side. Benriya money pays, after all. With as many odd, questionable jobs they take, they’d better be able to afford a good bed. Or two when Nic isn’t watching his strength.

Your wrinkled tank top doesn’t unwrinkle no matter how many times you tug it down. Whatever, you’re not dressing to impress right now, anyway, so who cares if it’s wrinkly. Now, if you showed up to Bastard like this, that’d be another story, but your meeting isn’t until later. You pick your underwear up off the floor, tags clinking when you put one leg through. Puddled close by, you grab your sweatpants, too.

Nic stirs. His hand brushes the katana next to his side of the bed even in his sleep. His side? His side? You look back at “your side” and see a fresh indent from your body, but you’d be lying if you said that indent is rarely there. It could be your side. It was before. Don’t you want it back? You could do cute domestic things, then. Like stick around for breakfast or feel emotionally at arm’s length.

Opening the door, you peek out—great, Worick must be sleeping still—and close it behind you. When it closes, it blocks of everything Nic. You could cuddle up to him. You could kiss him on the cheek. You could run your thumb over his knuckles. But you’d be ignoring the writing on the walls; the writing on his door and above his bed. A single scrawled name. Veronica: an untouched relic in the Benriya place of operations, a wave of silence plundering Worick’s voice, a rigidness in Nic’s back. Veronica, the name that sleeps between you and Nic.

Why are you back? Why come back to the person whose body you know but not his history? Why risk it?

The Celebrer on the counter is as good a distraction as any. The stove clock reads 7:03 a.m. in dull green, and you head over and pick up the pill bottle. You dip your head back and swallow a few. If you’re not careful, Ergastulum will break you again.

Vibrating, your phone lights up on the counter with one name popping up, Loretta.

***

Your apartment floor chills your feet. No dust on the old calendar hanging up, none of the doors creak (not even your pesky front door), and the vase the Christianos gifted you during your third anniversary together is clear, polished. Red carnations stand in the vase, petals tipping over the edges. Maybe you would’ve noticed them if you were here for more than an hour or two yesterday. The Christianos know their way around reds. Cute. Loretta must’ve set this up when she got the call from you. Showing their gratitude toward a top Celebrer supplier must be another specialty.

You grab the tiny suitcase you haven’t unpacked and wheel it across the floor to your bedroom. Innocuous things, the counter, the sofa, your bedroom door in front of you, remind you of him, and they overstimulate you with memories and make you taste a sweetness in your mouth that Ergastulum wants to crush. It makes the next wave, bitter and long, worse.

The why question pokes at you again.

Why come back?

Ergastulum would (and will) rot away with or without you. Why come back to the city you clawed your way out of? The anti-Twilights fester in every city, whether the police of said city care to admit it or not, so why, why come back to a place where hate and inhumanity breed together in every crack of every building?

The answer to that comes packaged with a katana. The answer to that comes packaged with a conversation you need to have. Part of you wants to pass off coming back as returning several favors to the Christianos.

Heaving the suitcase on top of your bed, you start unzipping it when two heavy rasps knock against your front door. Your eyebrows furrow. The Christianos, as well-mannered compared to the other families, wouldn’t spend more time on you than a few meetings or occasional checkup (or in this case, someone to swing by your apartment every now and then). They’re a business.   So, who, then?

Almost tiptoeing, you avoid anything too loud. Your initials are engraved on the knife in your hand. If someone’s here to kidnap your ass, they’re getting the shit kicked out of them, no compromises.

You open the door. His hair may be longer than before, but the black eyepatch and smirk he sends to you ring a symphony of bells in your head.

“Worick?” Your grip on the knife loosens.

He eyes the knife and puts his hands up. A teasing grin paints itself between his cheeks. He hums. “How scary, and here I was sure you’d have mellowed out a little by now.”

“Force of habit. Remember the tiny little thing? How I was kidnapped before? Besides, it’s not like I’ve been gone ten years.” You put the knife up and cross your arms.

“Ah.” He pauses and looks awkward for once. “That.”

“Why are you here, Worick?”

“So impatient. And here I was going to generously invite you out for drinks tonight.”

“You’re paying?”

“You’re already thinking about exploiting me and haven’t let me in yet.” He sighs. “How cruel.”

Opening the door, you step aside for him, and he comes in with the grin reattached to his face, as though the grin bandages his vulnerability.

Worick came to you under this guise. He’s skirting around, not getting to any major topics, and not to mention he came alone. You have something he wants, the look on his face and still silence tells you enough for a fair assumption.

“It’s Nic,” you say.

He pulls out a cigarette. “You wouldn’t happen to have a light on you, would you?”

You smother down wanting to pull the truth, a letter at a time if you have to, from his mouth like teeth. Instead, you pull a light out from your pocket. “You know the rules.”

“Balcony, I remember.”

The balcony doors creak when you open them, and biting wind makes itself at home on the balcony. Worick puts his elbow on the railing. You light his cigarette.

“It hasn’t been the same without you,” he says. He looks at the tops of buildings, at lights, at people walking, but never at you.  

You miss the nights out, the stupid games all three of you’d play early into the morning and falling asleep there. Sometimes, Nic would pat your head, or if you were alone together in glowing twilight hours, he ran his fingers through your hair. His touch, deep and soothing, became addictive, but his silence took your sprinting heart and held it with icy fingers; not silence from a lack of speaking, but silence as in this is off limits. You would wake up to his face and never know his history. The no-go zone.

“Well.” You prop your elbow up on the railing and cradle your chin with your hand. “Distance makes the heart grow fonder.”

He barks out a laugh. “Or the pants tighter.”

The silence and off limits parts are bad enough, but the man—he’s—fuck. He makes a headache easy. Ergastulum divided you in less than two days, split three ways down the middle. Your arm for the Christianos, your heart for Nic, and your throat for yourself, because the all the words out of your mouth string around your neck like fishing wire. Have you changed in the three years you’ve been gone? Ergastulum brought you right back to the same place.

You give him the look. He stops dead in his tracks, and he gives you whiplash while he’s at it, changing between playful and serious Worick in seconds. Did he come here for that? To dance around the heavy topics and let you do all the realizing? Can’t betray Nic’s secrets, can he?

“So,” he says, “about the drinks.”

Old wounds itch. You came here for a conversation with Nic, but the fear dialed up, electrocuting your nervous system, makes you second guess yourself. Why are you afraid?

Because if you tread on those no-go zones, losing him would be quick. A glass cut on your skin. Impersonal. Clinical. Distant.

“I’ll think about it.”

He smiles. This one makes him look younger. “Gotcha. Anything else you need? Maybe a tour of the city?”

“Get out of my house, Worick.”

“Aye, aye, cap’n.”

***

A diva sings in Bastard’s lounge, her voice gliding on the staccato piano and plucky bass. The lush purple carpet matches Galahad’s undershirt.

“Yo!” he says. His lip ring bends with his grin, and he hold a hand up to wave you over.  “Looking good.”

“You’re lucky Loretta isn’t here to kick you for that.”

Gal leads you through the lounge to the back. You pass by windows with a view of the street and nearby buildings, but when you catch two figures from another building staring at you both, you catch Gal looking, too.

“Cops haven’t stopped watching this place, have they, Gal?”

He scratches his head and sighs. “They’re watching more now. They have people posted there all the time.”

The nice windows and purple carpet are replaced by brick and visible concrete when he leads you to the back rooms. Your feet hitting the concrete, familiar and easy to adjust to, takes most of the stress from your shoulders. You shrug and stuff your hands in your pockets.

“Let them watch. They haven’t found anything before, and they won’t find anything later. You’re all good at your jobs, Gal.”

He raises an eyebrow, then a second later another grin carves itself on his face. “High praise, but if you want to make a difference, you could take our online survey for 10% off—”

“What, write a review of a brothel and bar?”

“The best brothel and bar in Ergastulum. Looks like someone hasn’t been keeping up. It isn’t like you to fall behind.”

You get to Loretta’s office door, steel all the way through. Gal curls his fingers around the doorknob.

“Fine,” you say. “I’ll write the review when I get back home.”

He pulls it open. “We thank you for your time.”

Loretta sits behind her desk in a black chair too big for her. She stands up when you walk in and reaches her hand out for a shake.

You shake her hand and sit down opposed from her. Gal stands by the door, arms crossed over his chest. No Marco in sight. Maybe he’s out with Connie today?

“Let’s save the pleasantries for later. Tell me about your Celebrer supply.” She folds her hands together. The spunky pep in her voice is replaced by bluntness.

Gal shuts the door. That’s fine, business as usual, but though her office is large, the confinement squeezes at your nervousness, at your paranoia. You breath. Trust them. The Christianos wouldn’t fuck you over. If you can handle a simple deal, you can handle a conversation with Nic. Maybe buy him something nice with the money from this.

“Sure thing. I’m bringing the supply through the border and funneling it into my old storage container. Same exact one. No numbers, no cops watching it.”

“We’re running low on our current supply, and more Twilights have been nervous about the anti-Twilights being active again. Our Celebrer gives them stability they don’t have otherwise.”

Us. Us, you want to say. “Them” sounds far when you’re right here, a Twilight. The word “us” burns your tongue. When you think about it, it’s ridiculous you have to take Celebrer to live, to keep your bodies functioning only to be scorned by Normals or (you breathe and it fills your lungs) to be hunted by Hunters, if you were that unlucky. They haven’t been seen in years, but the possibility exists. And because of what, the stupid tags around your neck? You already have a short lifespan and they’re bent on cutting it in half.

A short lifespan.

Twilights live until their 30s.

Nic is 34.

The sharp intake of breath cuts your cheeks up. And the crushing weight on your lungs and shoulders is back. Loretta, if she notices, doesn’t say anything. She watches your reaction. You bite the inside of your cheek. With your luck and his lifestyle, that dumbass will get himself killed before he’s 39. You don’t have much time left to spend with him. Maybe a couple years if you’re semi lucky. Hurry. Fix it.

“My supply is in.” You look at the clock to double check.

She puts half of the cash from your deal on her desk, and the faces on the bills are as “old guy” as possible. It’s a thick stack, bound by a rubber band.

Digging your hand in your pocket, you feel around for the key. You put it on her desk, silver and unsuspecting. The last key for the last lock on your container was a dull gold. This silver one looks better.

“We’ll give you the rest of the money after we confirm your supply.”

“Pleasure doing business with you, Ms. Cristiano Amodio.”

***

You knock on the Benriya door. Once, twice, three times. Cool evening wind settles in.

The door opens, but behind it, a woman in a white dress stands, eyes somewhat wide. She opens her mouth, and her lips curl around the word hello.

But you don’t hear it. A woman. An unfamiliar woman. An unfamiliar woman in a white dress with her strap falling down. Did Nic move on? Are they together? Are you too late to have the conversation you need to have with him? Was everything—the sharp breaths of fear, the re-realization of your short lifespans—for nothing? Should you leave now? She’ll just think some weirdo knocked on their door and left. Doesn’t have to turn into anything big. You can leave them alone and let them be happy. Whatever it is couples do—

Nic passes by in the background. He looks at you. He doesn’t say anything, but he tells you to come in with a tilt of his chin up.

You snap back to reality.

“Thanks,” you say to her. “I’m here to see him.”

She moves aside with a quiet, wondering oh falling from her lips.

Now that you’re paying attention (and not hazy like before), they’ve touched up the place a little, so it’s less of a bachelor's pad and more of a business. You walk straight to Nic while he gets a few beers from the fridge, glass bottles with classic caps.  

He turns to you. The necks of the beer bottles are wedged between his fingers.

“Hey, we need to talk, Nic.”

He nods and tilts his head toward his room. Then, he leaves the beer on the counter. 

When you walk together, you’re both close and far apart. Your arms touch every once in a while, but his arm around your waist like he used to, secure and soothing, draws you in, further, further until the emotions swelling your heart tide over. And you’re left alone with him in his room. His silent room in which your insides (uncertainty, fear, nervousness, hope) lock together and frenzy, but everything outside of you, everything here, hushes with silence.

“I—” you say.

You don’t like the tremble in your voice. The shakiness. The fragileness. So you regroup and figure out how to attack this the right way.

“I’m sorry for leaving like that. Suddenly.”

He snorts, unamused, and signs, Doesn’t matter. Why’d you leave?

If he’s willing to have this conversation, you need to meet him halfway. You steady your hands, dust off the sign language you remember, and sign, I was scared.

He furrows his eyebrows. He points at you. You were safe.

Not like that—your hands still—but I was scared of the distance between us. I felt like there were some parts of you I’d never get to know. Big parts.

He looks like he’s mulling your concerns over. Deliberate, weighted, he signs slower before stopping. Instead of telling you, he shows you. He steps forward, closer to you, that way a centimeter or two keep you apart.

Close. Close. Close. He’s close.

“And I get it,” you say, “I don’t have to know every single thing about you, but being more open would be better for us. I mean. If you want to.”

He tugs you in a hug, harsh, but you welcome it.

“Shut up,” he says.

You tell him you love him when you kiss him.

“I missed you, Nicolas. A lot.”

He squeezes your ass.

You laugh. “Yeah, I missed that too, you dick.”