#next time a dr asks why I've got so much Mental Illness the temptation to reply 'you fucking cunts' is going to be so high
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I'm not sure the novelty of a doctor actually providing me with compassionate and competent treatment will ever wear off.
Like... I've known for years I am sick. Logically I am aware I've been ignored, abused, and violated. But there's still that abused and gaslit part of my brain fearfully murmuring, "But what if I am doing this for attention and I just don't know it? what if I am a Bad Patient?"
And it's so ingrained that even when a doctor tells me they ran biopsies that confirm my diagnosis irrefutably, I'm still like, "Wow, I sure am a good liar being able to fake biopsies like that." Like bitch, the fuck did I do? Manifest a fake result through the power of my brain?
What kind of Matilda-ass-nonsense do I think I'm capable of? And why am I not using it to make Elon Musk explode at will?
Anyway. I hope my therapist's great-grandkids enjoy the college education I'm about to bankroll. Fuck me.
#chronic health tag#medical abuse#medical gaslighting#next time a dr asks why I've got so much Mental Illness the temptation to reply 'you fucking cunts' is going to be so high#if you're going into medicine in any capacity#please hold onto your compassion#It counts for more than you'll ever know
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image text: #next time a dr asks why I've got so much Mental Illness the temptation to reply 'you fucking cunts' is going to be so high
I'm not sure the novelty of a doctor actually providing me with compassionate and competent treatment will ever wear off.
Like... I've known for years I am sick. Logically I am aware I've been ignored, abused, and violated. But there's still that abused and gaslit part of my brain fearfully murmuring, "But what if I am doing this for attention and I just don't know it? what if I am a Bad Patient?"
And it's so ingrained that even when a doctor tells me they ran biopsies that confirm my diagnosis irrefutably, I'm still like, "Wow, I sure am a good liar being able to fake biopsies like that." Like bitch, the fuck did I do? Manifest a fake result through the power of my brain?
What kind of Matilda-ass-nonsense do I think I'm capable of? And why am I not using it to make Elon Musk explode at will?
Anyway. I hope my therapist's great-grandkids enjoy the college education I'm about to bankroll. Fuck me.
2K notes
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