#nevertheless she persisted was actually about me in my quest to eat like a normal fucking person

[manifestlife]

so i haven’t had a dietitian for several months and it’s starting to really take a toll on my recovery. i had a wonderful one with my university until i withdrew but i can’t see her until i’m re-enrolled and the ones i’ve met with in the interim either i didn’t like at all or they refused to see me until i’d gone to residential, which i want to remain a last resort. so for right now it’s just me treading water with my therapist and psychiatrist, who are both so smart but neither can sit down with me and come up with a thorough meal plan. 

i’m really trying to work on increasing portion sizes and adding in things like sides and dessert and snacks, because i think those will stop me from grazing and then panicking or from getting so hungry that i wake up in the middle of the night. but it’s also like!! i feel like i’m eating too much and i also just don’t remember what the hell normal people eat for sides!! or dessert!! or snacks!! 

i’ve taken a few courses on nutrition and have done my own research, so i’m generally not doing horribly and know how to make sure the bulk of what i’m eating is nutritious, but i just legitimately do not remember what normal people eat. i also am trying to eat at set times and meal prep a bit because a lot of my lapses have happened because i forgot to eat a meal and then skipped the next, and so on and so forth. so i’m making a meal plan tonight and going grocery shopping in the morning and actually committing for once!!