#nevermind that chinese doesn't use articles

[vermillioncrown]

🧠 Lang-zhangmen? Or Shuangfeng?

🧠 Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them.

i'll do both

=

lang-zhangmen likes to fish in their spare time. now, the sect knows this, but no one has ever seen this nor admitted to seeing this. they talk about fishing to their personal disciples, sometimes the dinners have fresh catches of the day, and the time that yan xichao was 'fishing' was from word-of-mouth of various fishing techniques as apparently mentioned by lang-zhangmen over the years. however, no one catches them fishing because they use their typically done-up looks as a distraction so when they dress down, they just look like a random elder of the sect (they have a second 'identity' but only their peers know enough to confirm).

=

shuangfeng kids, as you can imagine, are fucking relentless when it comes to roasting their own. like most canto kids being left to their own devices (more or less), they have an extensive list of nicknames for each other and notable people that the sect encounters.

an example that has happened within the last few months of the qishan wen discussion conference is of an older disciple with surname lan, or laan in cantonese (not 'blue' like the gusu lan, but 'orchid' lan).

kid is a known party boy, and i think i've already hinted that shuangfeng doesn't care as long as you don't proverbially shit where you eat. but he finally goes on a bender so bad that he is the spiritual originator of The Hangover, xianxia version, which has him vehemently swear in the middle of heaven's court peak to "QUIT EVERYTHING. I ABSTAIN FROM EVERYTHING". and he does, and practically forces himself to be like a monk. vegetarian and shit.

now, the cantonese word for 'to abstain/to quit' is gaai.

after legendary laan's adventure and officially quitting while he was ahead, everyone now calls him 'gaai laan', which is at least two-fold pun and can be reached for three.

戒蘭 'gaai laan' for his renouncing of all partying, 芥蘭 'gaai laan' as a homophone for chinese broccoli and mocking him for becoming like a real monk, and a subcategory of taunt for him fucking around before bc a unit vegetable [一]條菜 [nei] tiu coi is a derogatory way of referencing someone's girl. their hoe, essentially

and with all canto nicknames i know of, they eventually act like actual titles for that person rather than a way to poke fun at them. we'll never learn disciple laan's full name, sadly

[ghostoffuturespast]

OC Interview: Valerie Hye-jin Li (aka Grandpa V)

Tagged by: @jackiemychoom @therealnightcity & @tarmac-rat! Thanks so much for thinking of me! 🧡

NGL these are some unusual (and not the most serious) interview questions. So, I was trying to think of a scenario in which V would actually answer these questions. (Because mind you, she normally wouldn't and especially not for a total stranger.) Luckily, I know just the reporter… I may have gone a little overboard with this, but I think I just needed something light and fluffy in between all the angst and carnage that I’m currently writing.

The TLDR version is all the way at the bottom under the cut, so if you’d prefer not to read all of this and just want the quick and dirty on the questions. There you are.

This one's kind of old, so I think a lot of folks have been tagged already, but tagging (and as per usual, no pressure): @shimmer-like-agirl @baublekute @vox-monstera @nncc77 @merge-conflict @fly-amanitaa @dani-the-goblin @sp4cedr4g0n

(And no it doesn't have to be a Cyberpunk OC, but if you tag me I'll pop over and read your interview!)

Auntie V by Monique Kutcher

[The scene opens at Red Peaks Trailer Park. Moving closer we get an exterior view of the Kutcher residence before transitioning to the common area inside. Late morning light filters in from the windows. A tired, very bedraggled looking V is sitting in the corner of the booth. She has bedhead, is wearing an oversized t-shirt, lounge shorts, and is nursing her coffee. She takes a sip. Turning toward the hallway we see Monique appear. There is a sparkly unicorn on her pink shirt. She has a fistful of crayons in one hand and a screamsheet along with several blank pieces of paper in the other.]

Monique: (staring awkwardly) Auntie V, are you busy?

V: (fidgeting in her seat. uncomfortable) Um… Not really. Why?

Monique: Can I ask you some questions?

V: (hesitant) What kind of questions?

[Monique moves to sit next to V. Setting down her crayons and paper on the table, Monique shows V the screamsheet she was carrying. It’s an interview article on US Cracks and Kerry Eurodyne from some teen magazine.]

Monique: These. I’m practicing being a media reporter.

V: (blinking in surprise) Uh... Sure? I guess.

Monique: Yay! Okay, first question. What’s your name? Oh, I already know this one.

[Picking up a purple crayon, Monique writes the letter V on one of the blank pieces of paper. It takes up most of the page. After jotting that down she squints at the magazine. Concentrating.]

Monique: How tall are you?

V: 5’ 3”.

[Switching to a green crayon, Monique writes the number 53 on the page. She squints some more at the magazine.]

Monique: (trying to sound out the word she’s reading) Ge– What does that word say?

V: Gender? Female. I’d say I’m a girl.

Monique: But you don’t like the color pink?

V: Not really. Not all girls like pink.

Monique: (nodding sagely) But you do like purple. That’s my favorite color.

V: Yeah. I do like purple.

[Monique writes the word girl in yellow crayon before trying to read the next question off the magazine.]

Monique: Um… What’s that word?

V: Orientation. I’m bisexual.

Monique: What does that mean?

V: I like girls and boys.

Monique: I do to. Though sometimes Dorian and Alex are mean to me when we’re playing.

V: That’s not… Nevermind. (muttering) I'll leave that one to your Mom and Uncle. 

[V picks up the purple and pink crayon and draws a little bisexual pride flag on the corner of Monique’s notes. The colors aren’t quite right.]

V: …What’s your next question? Nationality/Ethnicity? Born and raised in Night City, but I’m half Korean, quarter Chinese, and a quarter Danish.

Monique: (confused) Danish? Like the cake?

V: No, like Denmark. The country… Cake? You mean the pastry with the filling in it?

Monique: Yeah! Mom always has one when she brings us donuts. The cherry ones are her favorite. Where’s Denmark?

V: Pretty far away.

Monique: Mm, okay. 

[V watches as Monique attempts to draw a pastry on her notes. Cherry filling, of course.]

Monique: Next question… Star sign!

V: Uh… Libra. I think?

Monique: What’s that mean?

V: (shrugging) No idea.

Monique: (shrugs back) Okay.

[Zooming in on we see Monique draw a star and write the word ‘Lebra’. The ‘L’ is written backwards.)

Monique: Favorite fruit?

V: Pomegranate. 

Monique: I don’t think I’ve ever eaten one of those.

V: Kind of a weird fruit. I’ve only eaten it twice. I like that they’re crunchy, the fruit’s around all the little seeds. They’re a pain in the ass to eat though.

[Monique looks at V.]

V: How about I draw it, since you’ve never eaten one and then you can ask me the next question.

[Monique nods. V picks up the red crayon and starts doodling. It’s a piss poor rendition.]

Monique: Favorite season?

V: In NC, winter. It’s not as hot as it usually is.

[Monique draws a snowflake. She's probably never seen snow. But neither has V.]

Monique: Favorite flower?!

V: Mmm… Cactus flowers.

Monique: The big ones or the little ones?

V: Uh, the small ones. With all the round… leaves? Is that what they are?

Monique: Prickly pears!? I like those ones too! The pink ones are my favorite. There’s some over by Auntie Lora’s trailer. Dorian’s always looking for bugs in them. Bleh!

[Monique draws something resembling a cactus covered in pink and yellow flowers. V is still working on her poorly drawn pomegranate.]

Monique: Favorite smell?

V: Real leather and ginger.

[V puts her crayon down. Done with her pomegranate blob.]

Monique: What do those smell like?

V: Ginger’s like a spice? A root. Has a fresh smell, kinda sharp. Leather smells like… (picking up her coffee and taking a sip to hide the blush on her face) Smells like your Uncle…

Monique: Uncle River does smell nice. But sometimes he gets stinky when he’s been outside working too long. Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate?!

V: Coffee, then tea. Don’t really like hot chocolate. Especially the synth-stuff. Has a weird aftertaste.

Monique: I love hot chocolate! Mom let me try some of her coffee once. I didn’t like it.

V: Maybe when you’re older.

Monique: Nah. 

[Monique kicking her feet and reading the next question.]

Monique: Hmm, how much do you sleep?

V: 5 to 6 hours. Usually. On a good day.

[V takes a sip of her coffee.]

Monique: Mom says Dorian and I need 10 hours of sleep every night. She makes us go to bed early. She tells Randy to go to bed too, but he usually doesn't listen. (still kicking her feet) I wish I got to stay up late. You and Uncle River get to stay up late. I heard you both last night when I went to the bathroom.

[V spits her coffee back into her mug, face turning bright red.]

Monique: You okay? Why’d you spit out your coffee?

V: (flustered) No reason.

Monique: (puts her arms up in the air and shakes them around) Was it because you and Uncle River were wiggling last night? Mom says because your his girlfriend you both need alone time. She told me and Dorian not to knock when you’re visiting and the door to Uncle River’s room is closed. Mom also said he should think about getting his own trailer. (thoughtful) I don’t think I’d like that though, because then I’d have to walk out of the trailer for Uncle River to make me breakfast in the morning. Mom always burns the toast. 

[V now looks like a tomato and avoids making eye contact with Monique, instead giving her coffee mug a pinched expression. Unfazed, Monique moves on to the next question.]

Monique: Which is your favorite, cats or dogs?

V: (clearing her throat) Cats. Have a cat named Nibbles.

Monique: Oh, can I meet your cat?!

V: Sure.

Monique: What color is your cat?

V: (still looking uncomfortably hot, albeit less red in the face, also looking very sadly at the backwash in her coffee) Hmm, pink. Ish. He doesn’t have any fur.

[Monique draws a pink cat and reads the next question off the screamsheet.]

Monique: Where would you like to go on a trip?

V: (looks out the window for a long moment) Some place without buildings. Less people.

Monique: The Badlands?

V: I was thinking further away.

Monique: Denmark?

V: Mm, maybe. I think they might even have trees there.

[Monique draws a tree on her notes before trying to read the next question.]

Monique: Favorite – Um…

V: Fictional character. Don’t have one.

Monique: Number of blankies you sleep with?

V: 2-3. I get cold when I sleep.

Monique: And the last one! A fun fact?

V: (thinking) Used to play the clarinet.

Thanks for reading that if you did lol! TLDR version and/or if you need the questions!

OC Interview Questions

Nickname: V’s fine.

Height: 5’ 3”

Gender: Female.

Orientation: Bi.

Nationality/Ethnicity: Half Korean, quarter Chinese, and a quarter Danish. Born and raised in Night City.

Star Sign:  Libra.

Fave Fruit: Pomegranate.

Fave Season: Winter.

Fave Flower: Prickly pear cactus.

Fave Scent: Real genuine leather and ginger.

Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate: Coffee or tea. 

Average Hours of Sleep: 5 to 6, usually. 12 to 14 if other people are having a worse day than I am.

Dog or Cat Person: Cats. Though my cat acts like a dog half the time.  

Dream Trip: Don’t know. Some place without buildings or people.

Fave fictional character: Don’t have one.

Number of Blankets They Sleep With: 2 or 3, I get cold when I sleep.

A Fun Fact: Used to play the clarinet.