#never thought i'd end up including so many other arcane characters in this

[thehomelybadger]

26 Questions about Run at the Cup.

Hi!

Since I just finished off my 33 chapter Arcane/CaitVi Hockey AU fanfiction, I asked folks for any questions that they might have about the universe (or just for me) around the fanfiction. So I thought that I'd pull them all together, answer them in one big post, and then direct folks here.

These questions are mostly pulled from twitter or discord, and are asked anonymously. If you're new to it/have never heard of it, you can check out the fanfiction here:

My asks are always open if you want to pepper me with more questions - I literally love talking about my process and creating stuff. But yeah, let's get the ball rolling!

These questions have spoilers up to the epilogue (chapter 33) of Run at the Cup.

One of your original goals for RATC was to include a sex scene in every chapter, and you later decided that didn't suit the story that it ended up being. How far, exactly, did you stray from that goal?

I think the first disc stuck to the format of smut-a-chapter pretty well, but as soon as I got to chapter 7 and 8 in my planning, I really had to take a step back from the idea of smut-a-chapter. Part of doing that was a friend of mine pointing out that another fic - breakneck - already was a smut-a-chapter offering, and the other part was around chapter 7 and 8 was when we really got a look at the Landsman abuse and I wanted to focus more on telling a story of healing instead of a sexual relationship. It felt the best narratively for Vi to take a step back and appreciate boundaries, and at that point we were 100% of the rails of the original vision. I also had my friend Felix - he drew the art for the fic - point out that the story was way more important than the smut when I complained that sometimes I just wasn’t feeling up to writing smut.

Caitlyn obviously makes a point to never sleep with another hockey player except for Landsman and Vi. Vi rather vocally does not have that rule. Are there any players we see in RatC that she has a history of that nature with?

Ahh, crucially, Caitlyn and Vi both adhere to the rule of no teammates. I actually think both have had flings  with hockey players, but probably not anyone that we spend much time hanging out with. I hint at Sarah Fortune and Vi having a past-tense fling that I never really expanded upon, and at one point I wanted to write some Caitlyn and Evelynn one night stand stuff that never really felt right after I abandoned the whole smut-a-chapter premise.

There are so many characters in ratc, and so many povs, how did you get into each of their heads and give them all their own voice that stayed consistent throughout the story?

So one of my other hobbies - other than hyperfixating on a fictional hockey team - is dungeons and dragons as a forever DM. My rule for creating NPCs is to give them a ‘pillar’ - essentially one solid character trait that I can lean back on when viewing things through their lens. Claggor, for instance, was always trying to teach and never raised his voice. Poppy was always going to be cheerful and loyal. Leona was always serious, except when dealing with Diana. Mylo was never serious, until there was a weak moment. All of those ‘pillars’ helped shepherd me in the right direction - the only characters I didn’t really have a pillar for were the hockey announcers, who’s entire personality can be summed up as ‘hockey announcers’.

When did you realize this was going to become Big™ , or was this all the plan from the beginning?

If I ever knew when anything was going to be big in terms of wordcount, I’d be much more successful at writing. The real time I knew was somewhere in Disc 2 when I had written like 3 10k+ word count chapters in a row. I remember thinking ‘oh, shit, I’m fucked’. What’s crazy about this is that I still feel like I left some story threads on the table - I could write 80k more of just Sumprats shenanigans, easily. In terms of Big as in popularity - dude I have no idea when I knew. I still don't really believe it.

Which was your favorite smut scene to write?

Oh man - hands down the hotel smut scene in the Summer Isles  - though that’s technically cheating, because the smut doesn’t actually happen. But I can see it like a shot in a movie - the slow tracking shot over the discarded clothes with some energetic, strumming guitar over top while we see the bed come into frame, the pan over and continued tracking towards the bathroom - all this evidence of wild sex. If the question is ‘which smut scene that’s actually smut’, I’m going with the phone sex scene - it was good to finally get these characters admitting how much they liked one another.

How did you pick and choose which LoL champions (not from Arcane) you brought into your world? As there are so many available and ones you picked seemed to work so well. Was it 'character is hot/cool and I just want to write them', 'I need a champion that would play hockey/act in x way' or any other way

A variety of reasons! Illaoi was included solely because my wife thinks she’s super hot, but for me it became characters I really liked, characters I could see the personality of, and characters I could ape the kit of in some way. Ahri being charming and evasive, Illaoi’s tentacle-like poke checking, Diana being good in close, and Leona being a hard hitting defender were all nods to the league kits, among others. Basically, when I was filling out the roster and was out of Arcane character slots, I started grabbing characters based on what role I envisioned for them on the team and backfilled from there. I’m glad I did their personalities justice!

I'd love to know, if it isn't a bother for you to explain it, the process behind you deciding each character's position on the ice and skillset. I'm basically in awe of how you took each character from the show/game and made them each a particular type of hockey player. But you might have talked about this already so no worries if it's too repetitive!

It all depended on what I wanted to write for the most part, and I approached it from two angles - what was most interesting for me to write dynamically, as in action wise, and what was most interesting for me to write emotionally, as in what they brought to the Sumprats as a whole. I leaned on a lot of sports knowledge that I’ve accrued over my 31 years around the sun, and figured out what archetypes would be most fun and narratively satisfying to convey. So, as an example - Claggor’s soft and assured ‘we’re gonna get you out’ from the show was a big big reason why I made him an enforcer - the quiet confidence and clear smarts. Poppy being undersized but a major bruiser in the game led to her entire personality and playstyle. Ahri being a winking and confident figure in LoL lore led to her being a flashy and charming person with a lot of scoring - etc etc etc. It came together fairly organically!

If you had to pick another sport as the medium to tell the story, which sport would it be? Ik you were intending on making it a hockey story with lesbians vs a lesbian story with hockey, but do you think the sport and play of hockey specifically were integral to how to told the story/the journey of the characters?

This is such a tough question to answer, because I’m not sure I could’ve told it with any other sport. Hockey is inherently chaotic, and the beautiful thing about it is that it comes down to players - you can have a grand strategy, but sometimes it’s just ‘our player is the best on the ice’ and that’s enough. I think there’s probably a pretty awesome Rugby story in here, maybe - or football/soccer - I can see their roles with Caitlyn as an attacking midfielder and Vi as a sweeper or something, but both of those are far more team focused. Also, hockey is lesser known of the major sports, and I felt like talking about how goofy it sometimes is to folks who might not know about it.

What did you learn during/after writing this that you didn't expect?

Such a good question. I learned that I love writing big casts of characters and I learned that I have a knack for conveying what I see on the page. I also learned that I can tell a story that goes every way possible in terms of POV and style, and that having a bunch of threads to tie up is an awesome problem to have. I also learned that I’m somewhat fragile as a creator, and that taking steps to protect myself from having my feelings hurt doesn’t make me selfish - just makes me human.

If you had to support a team yourself (not including the Sumprats), who would you support and why?

Can you imagine Bilgewater Schooners twitter? Can you imagine how batshit insane it must be? I’d be 100% on board with that franchise.

Why wasn’t there more Grapes content?

You all weren’t ready for it. The world still isn’t ready.

Is there something you wished you could've explored more but didn't get the chance?

So many things. So so many things. This is why RATC is crazy to me in hindsight because I felt like I left a lot of meat on the bone when the fic is like 300k long and is one of the longest CaitVi fics around. SarcastCity and I joked about a whole sequence where Mylo strikes out with a bunch of women, I didn't get into the Evelynn sub-sub-subplot, I barely scratched the surface on MOST of the K/Da stuff that I wanted to do, CaitVi adopted a dog at one point, there was an entire anti-police side of the fic that I just cut because it didn’t really fit into the vibe of the fic (you can still see foreshadowing of it in early chapters), there was originally going to be an entire other side to the water reparations where we’d see grainy footage of Silco and Cassandra arguing about it and that’s how a lot of it was revealed - before I decided to make Powder more of a central figure in the documentary. The entire fic changed in a bunch of little moments. Art is cool that way - it kinda leads ya where you need to go sometimes.

Who was someone that you enjoyed writing a lot that you didn't expect to?

When I put Graves into the fic, I never would’ve expected to fucking love writing him as much as I did. As soon as I wrote his first book snippet, I knew that I needed to stop immediately because if I wasn’t careful he’d take over the entire fucking fic. Second place was every scrap of podcast content - it’s so addictive to write this meta-narrative bullshit about your own world building. It’s just giving you a reason to talk about your own fic in universe and I had to stop myself from writing 13 more Taylor Swiffer sequences. Lastly, twitter was always a blast to get going. Shout out to everyone who loaned me their likeness for that!

You’re a pretty big basketball fan Badger, and knowledgeable at that, is there any reason you chose Hockey besides you also liking it? Like, did you feel the “action” would be better?

There are no sanctioned fistfights in basketball, which was a huge L. In all seriousness, I considered a basketball fic before going with hockey because, while I love basketball with my whole badgussy, hockey has so much more meat on the bone with regard to playstyle and expression. You have hitters, shooters, goalies being weird, you’ve got gum chewing angry people and hockey stadium chants. Hockey is a vibe that I really was excited to convey, and basketball - to me, anyways - has less of a physical aspect to it and it’s a little less entertaining to write about. Baskets happen all the time in ball, but in hockey, a goal is celebrated by everyone on the ice, everyone gets a fistbump, and the action stops while the crowd gets to rewatch it over and over. You don’t get any better than that for narrative drama.

You've talked some about the sumprats superstitions, but who is the most superstitious and what are some sumprats superstitions

Ashe is probably the most superstitious, but all sports players are superstitious to some degree or another - especially hockey people. I think every time Leona tapes her stick up, she has to unwind the first piece once - because that’s the way she did it when she scored her first goal. Claggor probably wears the same style of socks that he had when he was 18. Riven’s skates are a size too small, because she believes it makes her faster. Graves needs Caitlyn to tap his post before every game he’s in net otherwise he won’t play.

What was the hardest part for you, as a writer, to get through?

The entire fic came together relatively quickly, honestly. I wrote it in less than a year and most of the time in big 2-6 hour chunks of my day. I think the most challenging thing from a craft standpoint was the Landsman Scandal - because it had so many moving parts and I was using a character invented solely for that sequence in wewon1, and you needed to like her and buy into her right off the bat. I also needed to balance out how heavy the chapter was with moments that the reader could breathe around - I didn’t want to evoke a desperate, awful thing, but I wanted to inform. It took a few days of serious brainstorming before I got it the way I wanted it, and even then I was making edits in the posting window of Ao3. But in terms of actual hardness to write - the run up to the finals was really tough to get through because I felt like not much was happening narratively and I really needed to work at it to get it where I wanted it. The actual physical typing of the story wasn’t hard, but the games were annoying me a lot - they always felt too slow or sluggish or poorly conveyed. The thing I’m most proud of looking back is definitely the Powder chapter - I wish I had done more of that.

Why is Landsman so hot? Why did you have to make Landsman so hot? Should I speak with my therapist about this?

Oh yes. Immediately.

The story focused on Cait and Vi but as a whole was a story about team dynamics - little pieces like Hot Girl Shit, characters we would consider unremarkable as irl players like Poppy or Mylo, the gradual push of Graves to Ekko as main tendie - that grew into their own stories. Was this a case of supporting cast offering spontaneous great idea opportunities that you went along with, or was it always planned that X character would get X storyline?

I didn’t really set out with these storylines in mind, but one of the things I wanted from the get was this line to be true: “Usually, it’s the people who sit five, six seats from the starting lineup that give you the edge. Our job as leaders is to make sure that when those folks’ numbers get called, they’re ready.” - Vi, chapter 4. I wanted to basically reinforce that idea by having the players grow into something that was stalwart and could be relied upon, and just let the characters kinda swirl around with that idea. I didn’t realise that Ashe would wind up being so important but I kind of fell in love with her as I wrote her game - same goes for Riven’s speed and Darius’ faceoff potential. 

Which supporting character that isn’t Mylo ended up being your fave?

If it’s cheating to say Sevika, then I loved Poppy. Every scene Poppy is in I just had a blast writing, but gum-chewing, constantly glaring, scowling while insisting she’s smiling Sevika really leapt off of my keyboard. If I allow myself to take credit for any one thing, it’s casting Sevika as a coach.

if Vander hadn't died and had become the Sumprats coach instead of Sevika, would Vi still have been drafted by them and how would she have felt about it? 

Woof. It’s hard to see Mel hiring Vander, but say that she did and Vander coached Vi - adult Vi, 32 year old Vi with all she feels towards him - I can only really see it as Vi demanding out. She wouldn’t have the ego to get him fired, but I don’t think she’d be willing to play for him after everything. I also think the Sumprats are nowhere near as good with Vander as a coach - in my head Vander was good enough to drill Vi’s lessons into her head but had no idea how to keep a team intact, and that was Sevika’s specialty - the ‘us vs them’ mentality is all her.

I'd love to hear anything about your writing process. When you do it, how you think and feel about it, etc.

My writing process begins with having a very patient wife who puts up with me being glued to a screen for 6 hours at a time while talking to myself - usually in funny voices or imitating crowd yelling. I also do a lot of my dialogue in the shower where nobody can judge the faces I make - most of Caitlyn’s speech and the podcast dialogue came from me showering and yelling to myself, getting hyped up, and trying to remember lines. I basically do my functional adult tasks with the sequences I want to convey running on my head in a loop, until it’s time to sit down and crank it out. One part of my process that I don’t recommend is that when I sit down to write, I don’t get up until the chapter’s done. For me it’s a straight shot or it doesn’t get done at all - I need the entire flow to work on that one sitting. It has the side effect of my wife watering me and feeding me while I’m glued to banging words out onto a screen, and occasionally I’ll come up for air to refill my water battle and talk to her about her Animal Crossing island or something - anything - that isn’t hockey lesbians, before I go back to my cave.

obligatory question about which scene you were most looking forward to writing

So, chapter 32 was basically in my head the entire time I was writing the fic - everything between chapter 2 and 32 was me impatiently jiggling my leg waiting until I could write the Won’t Back Down song from the crowd. But the more surprising bit was how much I was looking forward to the karaoke scene - I wound up putting it off a few times in the fic until I was finally able to lock it down right after the Landsman Scandal, which felt like a great time to put it - just the idea that we all could use a break - as readers and characters in the story - and then we get one. Also, Pray is a fucking HILARIOUS song and I love that I got to use it.

if caitlyn and vi were to have a dog in this universe, what kind, what would they name it, and what would jinx choose to call it instead

This was actually a cut plot point at one time - the dog adoption sequence. They have a boxer named Bowser who has three legs, and Powder calls him Leonardo because it’s not his name but he squints sometimes like DiCaprio, and one time he ate an entire cheese pizza.

actually, kind of bouncing off my other question, are there any scenes that weren't originally planned that you really like?

Originally, there was no Melvika - it was a Melora subplot. But then I wrote that initial conversation between Mel and Sevika where they meet and Sevika passes her test and I thought to myself ‘oh.’ Every single Melvika moment was unplanned but I loved crafting it, showing this little love story in the margins of the page that was slowly and steadily unfolding.

Did you decide to change any major plot points after you'd started writing?

Two major ones: First and most impactful, there was going to be a riot in the original story that led to the team rallying behind the city - it was going to be this sequence of each of the Sumprats walking into the practice facility saying ‘have you heard, yet?’ that tied in what actually happened. But it felt tonally out of place and I was already really invested in exploring the abuse aspect of the fic, so I scrapped it - it’s a story worth telling at some point but the feel-good underdog sports fic wasn’t the place to explore that space. Another more impactful thing that certainly won’t be surprising to some: Vi’s injury was initially going to be a career ender. When SarcastCity and I started talking around the end of Disc 2, I actually told her that version of the story - that Vi’s knee is busted irrevocably and Caitlyn has to win without her, and the two have to find their way towards one another in a bittersweet finale without hockey to unite them. SC talked me around on that one - made the case that Vi and Caitlyn deserved to play hockey together for years and years, and after thinking about it for a while it really truly felt like I was being sad and dramatic for sad drama’s sake - angst for angst’s sake isn’t something I wanted to play into. So I changed it and it’s a lot, LOT better as a result.

How did you keep everything in order? Did you have an outline?

Calling it an outline is kind of insulting to other outlines, I think - I had an unhinged and fucked up google sheets document that listed the players, positions, and general vibe of their character arc, but I didn’t totally stick to it. I also had a chapter title list that I also changed a lot - I mostly knew my end point was ‘Caitlyn skates for 20 minutes and they come back to win in Game 5 with an injured Vi’ and worked my way to that point.

Thank you to all who submitted questions! If you have more, feel free to drop me a line.

-Badger

[tastytofusoup]

I'm generally a person who thinks, 'I don't really have OCs', because I mostly don't go into depth with background and personalities and whatever. But I do have a fair amount of custom characters that I really like, and I do treat them as characters. I make characters, not just avatars for myself, for the most part - especially in mmos.

So I've never done this before, but here's a selection of my favourites:

Essay-length full description section below the cut ↓

ROW 1:

Archmage Tethris

Daddy. Tethris is my WoW Void Elf Arcane Mage. He's also the guy who made me realise, 'yeah, I'd be a Mage in any given fantasy world, wouldn't I'. He's become not only my default main in WoW, and the closest to 'avatar for myself' that I get in the game, but also my default go-to in many other games. Here is Elden Ring Tethris, for example:

Tethris is a very rare example who actually does have lore. He was a professor of the Arcane in Silvermoon, who developed an obsession with the Void, and specifically finding a way to reach the Telogrus Rift. It got to the point where he was locking himself in his study, or traveling, not even seeing his wife and three children. Being fairly well-known and previously well-respected, this was noticed and he started to be thought of fairly negatively as an eccentric.

He did eventually discover the Rift, and a way to access it - which he did! But there was no way back. The other drawback being that in the process, he teleported not only himself, but his entire tower, and connected section of the academy. Luckily for other people, there was a large festival happening that day, so no-one else was taken with him.

Unfortunately for Tethris though, that meant he was trapped alone on some rocks in the Void, until he could find a way back. At least he had his study. He was there for 50 years. During that time, the whole events of Warcraft 3, and Vanilla to Legion WoW occured. He would've found a way back eventually, but it was actually the other elves, now known as the Void Elf faction, with Alleria Windrunner, who enabled him to return to Azeroth. He was there already.

The people who knew him in Silvermoon, including his familly had assumed he'd either killed himself when the tower 'exploded', or he'd simply abandoned them because the Void was all he cared about. He still hasn't reconnected with his children.

He has 2 daughters and a son. Eldessa the eldest is a Paladin, formerly a warrior with the Shattered Hand. Ithrien the son is the middle child. First an Eversong Ranger, then joined his sister in the Shattered Hand, then joined the Sunreavers during the events of Wrath, who he's been with since. He's the one who probably harbours the most resentment towards his father. The youngest is Vysira, and is also someone who is fairly shunned, or at least treated with distrust. She's the temperamental problem child. The main issue is that she was one of the Sunfury Arch Mages, who stayed loyal to Prince Kael'thas until the end. She only rejoined Silvermoon after his death, and those who did are treated as a distrusted lower class.

Tethris's 50 years of solitude, plus that amount of exposure to the Void have addled his mind somewhat, but his Archmage/Professor level of magical strengh, plus the arcane protections of his dwellings preserved his sanity and form for the most part. It did take him a few years though to reacclimatise to Azeroth, the vast changes to the world, and to remember his family. He now knows who his children are in the world, and has some leads on where to find them, but is hesitant. His wife however, sadly died when Arthas attacked Quel'Thalas.

Ella

Ella was my second, and favourite Fallout: New Vegas character. She's a 17 year-old girl, probably latin descent. Grew up as a rancher to the east of Nevada. Her parents were killed, and she learned to fend for herself, using what she knew from farming to become a traveling trader, then courier, only shortly before the events of New Vegas, because supplies for trade became an issue.

She's intelligent, savvy, headstrong, very stubborn, and very easily frustrated and angered. The start of the game fueled her with a lust for revenge, more than any sort of curiosity - that only came a bit later. She was also commonly frustrated with being treated with less respect than she deserved, because of her age.

When she reached Nipton, she found an undelivered set of (modded in) experimental Ranger armour in the first building. She tried it on, and it fit. It disguised her entirely, protected her heavily, and the helmet even included both night and thermal vision. This was the true turning point in her life. The armour gave her the confidence and technical advantages to immediately ambush the Legion forces in the town, and demolish them. She already knew she was a crack shot, but the ease that she took down those men who'd done that to a whole settlement, made her realise she could be a complete badass. So she became one.

The armour also largely fooled the NCR into thinking she was one of them, and she joined them for a while, before realising their own faults, and ultimately figuring out she had the power to take over Vegas herself, and the people would probaly be better off.

Rexi Nebrata

Rexi does not have lore. The essays are basically over. Rexi's just an omega cutie, and since I don't enjoy Final Fantasy XIV, I wish I could port her to other games. I'm so proud of her character customisation. I love her. Bae. White Mage btw.

ROW 2: (I guess this is the Green Alien Girl row. I didn't realise this was becoming a trend.)

Lizrima

Ah Lizrima. Doesn't she also look fucking great though. Boss-ass bitch. Lizrima was my first SWTOR character - my Sith Assassin. Very much a full Dark Side Sith, but is intelligent about it. I was open to picking the very rare light side choice if it made sense to her in a specific situation. Lana Beniko is her future wife, but I've never got further in SWTOR than part-way through Knights of the Fallen Empire. Her lightsaber is double-bladed, green with a black core - just like her. Oh yeah, and she's a former slave. Probably slaughtered her way to freedom one day, I forget if I thought more into it. Maybe that's why the Sith took notice. You can faintly see a scar under her eye, and there's a similar one on her chin, which is hidden by the uh, mask thing. Those are slave brands.

Nalya Va'a

Nalya is my Nautolan Jedi Guardian. Guardian is actually on my list of remaining Class stories to play through. She's only on Nar Shaddaa, so I haven't played her much at all. She's just a big cutie, and that's clearly enough for me.

Myntara Quil

I love her.

I love her so much. I did not know you could love an XCOM 2 character this much, but there she is. Also the nicest picture I've ever taken in XCOM 2.

I don't really need to say any more. Little green cutie who deals more damage than god, and has the movement distance of a high speed train. Tiny girl along for the ride becomes highest ranked XCOM member. Shotgun/Sword user with over 90 aim. 68 kills in 12 missions. Has Gaige from Borderlands 2's voice pack. Like, c'mon. I'm even really proud of her name, I think it's lovely, and really suits her. 💚

ROW 3: (the tiny WoW girl row)

Josie

Josie is a Goblin Assassination Rogue. Literally an assassin/bounty hunter, because I leveled her without quests. I mostly used the RareScanner addon to see where the Rare mobs are around the world, and traveled between them. Not only do they give a lot of XP, but a lot of them I didn't know about, and it took me to parts of the zones you wouldn't normally go to.

Named after a close friend, and is actually lore-friendly for a Goblin. I didn't expect a female Goblin Rogue to become my highest level Horde character, but she currently still is.

Tofie

Tofie's my gnome Priest. I actually used my level 100 boost on her that I got with Legion. She's who I used to run old dungeons and raids for a while for mounts - I unlocked my first rare mount on her, the Drake of the North Wind.

She's another orphan. I'm realising this is a trend. She was raised in Darnassus by the Night Elves and is the only Gnome Priestess of the Moon.

Bleeple

Isn't it fun that all 3 of these names are perfectly passable as Lore-friendly. Bleeple is....an orphan. She, however, was raised in Gadgetzan, mostly by Goblins. She is very much a Gobbo in Gnome form. She's a survival hunter, is bloodthirsty, and loves explosions a little too much. She was actually encouraged to go out into the world as a hunter to keep her away from the town, because she's too much of a liability. Too much of a liability...for Goblins. She's basically Gnome Gaige.

Her appearance is actually what peak performance looks like.

ROW 4:

Myrielle

Man I kind of miss Myrielle. It's a similar case to Ella, in that I can't access their saves. I have the saves, but they're completely reliant on a very specific set of numerous mods, and who knows what that mod selection was. So they're sadly stuck in my memories, and very few pictures.

Myrielle was the Skyrim character I played the most. She was a...

...stealth archer.

But she was cool alright. She also used Gandalf's sword, and an ebony sheld. She was actually primarily a thief, that's what she started as on a core level. So she's the one I played through the whole Thieves' Guild questline on, which was the most enjoyable part of the game. She became a Nightingale. I loved Karliah so much I installed the mod that lets you have Karliah as a companion after the questline's over, and had her with me for the rest of time. That reminds me, I need to add Karliah to my 'voices I could listen to all day' list *chef's kiss*.

Literally everything about Myrielle's base appearance is modded.

Neha Shepard

Neha's the Shep I made for the Legendary Edition. I Just Think She's Neat™. I named her after the Dice Maker from Disco Elysium, who's already on the 'voices I could listen to every day' list.

Maxon Fen

Maxon. Dat boy. I just think I've done a nice job with my SWTOR characters alright? Maxon's my Smuggler.

I'm glad I went back to SWTOR and gave it yet another chance, after vowing in video compilation form to never play it again (that's a good video though). The Smuggler story was legitimately a fun time. Jedi Consular was also decent, but less fun, no real complaints. They didn't drive me up the wall with nonsense and frustration, so that's really the bar for me when it comes to SWTOR. Unfortunately, it's the ones that I recorded that really annoyed me, and not the others.

Anyway Maxon's a lad I guess. A dude.

[heroinejinx]

‘You don’t know her.’ - Advices and Vices, part 5 of ? (CaitJinx Modern AU)

AO3 link

Caitlyn’s POV after her night with Jinx, and the months leading up to the party... 

She blames the gin, I blame the ADHD & Autism ravaging my life lol enjoy

TW: drinking, vague drug & trauma reference, Jayce being a prick

(6,019 words)

Jinx’s last words lingered in Caitlyn’s mind. She replayed the scene in that bed over and over and over.

I’m bad enough for you already.

Bad? In what sense? 

Did Jinx feel like a bad person because of her past?

Caitlyn didn’t know the full story, but from what Vi told her, Jinx led a far darker life beyond the foster home than either of them could’ve fathomed. Vi had Vander, a gruff man-giant with the squishy insides of a teddy bear. But Jinx? Jinx had Silco, Zaun’s most infamous Chembaron, a man with the face and killer instinct of a rabid shark. He plucked her out from obscurity and made her his daughter. His Jinx.

What kinds of things did he enlist her to do? Had she acted willingly, or did he coerce her? Caitlyn didn’t dare speculate.

Either way, Jinx must’ve harboured guilt for her part in his business. All those lives, young and old, lost. Ravaged by shimmer and the gang warfare involved in producing and selling it. Years later, some parts of Zaun still hadn’t recovered, and nor had Jinx.

That same protective impulse Caitlyn felt in the corridor of Jinx’s apartment building swelled in her gut. Made her queasy with concern. She hated Silco.

But Jinx knew Caitlyn didn’t hold her past against her, right? For all their spats and bad blood, Jinx had to know.

If not the past, what else could Jinx have meant to shield her from? Had she forgotten something, some vital piece of evidence?

Just go… Go home, Cait.

What made Jinx so determined to push her away? The potential fallout of Vi finding out? They’d covered that; they could both keep a secret. What other reason was there?

Entitled. Jinx said it with conviction, intended to harm. Demanding an apology was entitled of you.

It felt like a blade aimed straight at Caitlyn’s throat, forcing her to scrutinise herself.

Was she entitled? Probably, in some respects, given her background. But expecting an apology for being tossed aside was no act of entitlement. Caitlyn knew her worth. That didn’t make her entitled.

Then there were her own indecipherable words. Things said she didn’t mean.

I don’t care.

A blatant lie woven from her pain. She’d intended harm, too. Neither of them was innocent in this.

I’m done.

Done? With what? Had they started something?

Maybe…

Maybe Jinx just didn’t like her. Maybe the night they’d shared was just sex, fuelled by alcohol and familiar, flirtatious contempt. Once it ended, Jinx wanted nothing more to do with her. And why would she? They had nothing more to offer each other than their bodies.

 ***

Weeks without answers turned into months. Four months, one week and two days.

Between nonstop work and restless nights, she met with Jayce for a drink at one of their favourite bars in the heart of Piltover. Anything to distract her from the dull, disconcerting itch of missing Jinx.

Craving someone she had once barely tolerated was a new brand of torture. Add her bitter confusion about how things ended to the mix, and well, Caitlyn wasn’t having a fun time.

Jayce was chipper, as usual. Painfully so. But he did most of the talking and had agreed to foot the bill. Could’ve been worse.  

She quelled the constant ache in her chest with a stream of gin and tonics, as he droned on about the last couple of months of his life. He’d secured funding from the council for his tech company’s latest project. A venture into prosthetic limbs which Caitlyn understood very little of, despite Jayce’s thorough and frequent explanations.

Science had never been her thing; more of an English and History kind of person. Tangible lived experiences and the heart of the human condition spoke to her far more than statistics and hypotheses ever could. She had some basic forensic knowledge needed for her work, but that was it.

What would Jinx make of Jayce and Viktor’s work? Would she find it interesting? Ground-breaking? Would she and Viktor squabble over the best methods for maximum results? She’d certainly understand it all a heck of a lot better than Caitlyn.

Anyway, she’d strayed off topic. Blame the gin.

When Jayce found out about the funding, Viktor kissed him on the cheek right there in the lab in front of Skye and their other assistants. A rare, sweet moment of PDA amidst all the excitement. Jayce relished in that part of the story, skimmed over the funding just so he could tell her that his extremely private boyfriend had kissed him at work.

It was cute and it pissed her off. She loved Jayce and Viktor, but she didn’t want to hear a single word about how happy they were together. Not after… everything.

‘Come on, Jayce,’ she half-teased, half-reprimanded. ‘This is a new level of gloating, even for you.’

‘I’m not gloating,’ Jayce denied with a small grin. ‘Just sharing my news with my best friend.’

‘Oh, please.’

They went on like that for a while. Jayce sharing, then over-sharing as the alcohol hit, while Caitlyn nodded along with a drink in her hand, mocking him at regular intervals. It was nice. Quality friendship time.

The evening dwindled, they said their goodbyes and parted ways, and she was alone. Again.

Would she spend every night alone? Would she ever meet someone who made her as insufferable as Jayce and Viktor were together?

 ***

 Jinx’s bed. Blue hair cascading like a waterfall. Smoke trails etched into biteable skin. Hands and tongue dragging out shrill, melodic moans.

The loud vibrations of her phone receiving a text.

Oh, wait, that was real.

She groaned, desperate to return to the world behind her eyes.

Her phone screen’s harsh light made her squint. She dimmed the brightness all the way down and read the message. From Vi, of all people.

If the universe had any respect for Caitlyn at all, Vi had finally signed those divorce papers.

She read on:

 Hey, Cait. Sorry I’ve been a dick. If you’ve got a spare hour today, could we meet? Or if you’re at work, name a time and place and I’m there, okay? I’ve signed the papers and I’d like to meet in person to give them to you.

And again, I’m sorry.

 Caitlyn read the message a few more times. She couldn’t believe it. Those words had really been sent. From Vi. To Caitlyn.

It all read true to form, apart from the apology. And the name. Ten months since they separated, and a part of Caitlyn still expected Vi to call her Cupcake. How stupid was that?

She didn’t want to meet on such short notice, but she had no choice. Vi was like a wild horse; couldn’t risk spooking her.

 She replied:

 Thank you, Vi. I know it takes a lot for you to say sorry, so I appreciate it. I’m due at the station today, but we can do lunch if you’d like.

 Her response might have erred on the side of passive aggressive, but it was the kindest she could muster.

 ***

 Lunch was… an experience.

Vi showed up late, hungover, and with another woman. Her girlfriend. Seraphine, or Serrie, had hair the colour of Pepto-Bismol and the face of a doe with no survival instinct, traipsing carefree through a forest in the middle of hunting season. Most egregious of all, they were smitten with each other. They called each other babe and hun and cutie and couldn’t stop touching. Hands, shoulders, knees beneath the table; it was all up for grabs.

Caitlyn seethed, picking at the Caesar salad she’d ordered before they arrived, while they perused the menu. She had twenty minutes before she had to go back to work, and they were acting like they were on fucking holiday.

Any sane, rational person would’ve ditched, left them with the bill, and demanded to meet Vi alone some other time. Instead, she dug her heels in. Literally dug the heels of her boots into the restaurant’s carpet.

‘You used to get the burger,’ she snapped. ‘Just get the bloody burger, Vi.’

‘Burger?’ Seraphine winced. It was the first thing she’d said since Vi had introduced her. ‘As in beef?’

‘Oh, yeah,’ Vi glanced up from the menu with an amused grunt. ‘Serrie’s vegan.’

‘Vegan?’ Caitlyn didn’t mean to sound derisive, but the idea of Vi dating a vegan when she ate approximately six chickens a day was beyond a joke.

‘Since she was nine. Huh, babe?’ Vi channelled all her warmth and affection into a killer grin, only this time Caitlyn wasn’t the target.

Rightly or wrongly, it bothered her. The whole scenario bothered her. After years of Vi putting her first, she’d been demoted to third wheel. The divorce was her own doing, but it chafed.

Seraphine blushed at the attention. Nodded right on cue.

Must’ve felt strange for her, sat across the table from Vi’s soon-to-be ex-wife. Although, she didn’t have to be there, did she? She certainly wasn’t supposed to be.

‘Sorry, um…’ Caitlyn cleared her throat, preparing for the impact of her question. ‘Vi, I have to ask. Why isn’t it just the two of us today?’

Vi and Seraphine gave each other a look, fleeting but wholly revealing; the look of two people teetering on the cusp of something life-changing and impulsive. Their faces bloomed with the same joy and subdued, mind-numbing terror she’d worn the first time she shot a gun.

Naturally, she scanned their fingers for signs of an engagement ring. Both sets of hands were under the table, out of sight.

Interrogation, or flat-out denial? Which tactic would she employ?

‘Never mind; Seraphine’s more than welcome, of course,’ she said. The coward's route, but also the quickest way out of there. ‘Vi, did you bring the papers?’

‘Sure did.’ Vi withdrew a large white envelope from her backpack. ‘Signed and fricking sealed.’

She squeezed Seraphine’s forearm with unabashed glee, eliciting a shy giggle. Never did learn the art of discretion, that one. It felt like they wanted Caitlyn to ask. Just ask.

‘Next stop: delivery,’ Vi confirmed. Nervously bit her lip.

‘Perfect,’ Caitlyn smiled but wanted to scowl.

She refused to ask them. If those two idiots were engaged with the ink still wet on the divorce, more fool them and she wished them well, but it had nothing to do with her. Nothing.

Vi raised an expectant brow, pushing Caitlyn closer and closer to breaking point.

‘Anyway…’ She scooped up the precious envelope and let out the fakest sigh she’d ever heard. ‘So sorry, but I’ve got to get back to work.’ Stood and flung her handbag over her shoulder. So close. The exit was so fucking close. ‘Lovely meeting you, Seraphine.’

‘Caitlyn, wait!’ Two steps towards the door were all it took for Vi to crumble. Her urgent tone told Caitlyn all she needed to know. ‘There’s something we need to tell you.’

Against her will, she turned back, and Seraphine revealed the diamond engagement ring on her finger.

 ***

 ‘Fucking hell.’ Caitlyn sighed into her wine, fogging up the glass. Downed the last few drops. ‘I think I’m still a bit in shock.’

She’d headed to Jayce and Viktor’s apartment in upper-west Piltover the second she clocked off, which was… a while ago. A quick catch-up in the kitchen spiralled into hours of venting. She never did this, but between the whole divorce debacle, the night spent with Jinx, and Vi’s abrupt engagement, she needed a friend.

‘Refill?’ Viktor offered, fresh bottle of Rosé in hand as he pre-emptively picked up her empty glass.

‘Amazing,’ she said. ‘Thank you.’

He poured until she gestured for him to stop, handed the glass back to her with a smile, then leant back on his crutches.

‘Maybe make that your last,’ Jayce hinted.

He had his back to them both while he chopped up a selection of vegetables for the coming days’ meal prep, ears pricked. Primed and ready to interject with the least helpful comment possible.  

After almost two decades of friendship, she didn’t even have to look at him to see the smug expression on his face. He really thought he’d just told a joke.

‘This,’ she bit back, ‘from the man who can’t even remember last year’s Progress Day because he blacked out on Zaunian moonshine.’ Her next sip went down like a dream. Like victory.

‘She has a point.’ Viktor took her side over Jayce’s, like always.

‘If you say so,’ Jayce tutted. ‘I think she’s had enough, though.’

‘She?’ Caitlyn objected. ‘I’m right here.’

With a huff, Jayce turned to face her, hands on his hips like he was about to tell her off.

‘Sorry,’ he said, no ounce of remorse on display. ‘If I’m honest, I’m a little sick of tonight’s depression bingo, okay?’

‘Wow,’ she smarted. ‘Depression bingo? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?’

‘You’re struggling,’ Jayce said. ‘I get that. But sitting here complaining about it all won’t change anything, Cait. It’s just bumming us out.’

‘Jayce,’ Viktor chastised his boyfriend, employing a subtle yet damning head tilt. ‘Speak for yourself.’

‘I just…’ Jayce hung his head. ‘I like Vi, y’know? I’m happy for her. I think this engagement is good news.’

‘Now’s not the time to play devil’s advocate,’ Viktor warned. ‘Cait’s hurting. Let it be, for now.’

‘Thanks, Vik,’ she said, relieved that he had her back. ‘And Jayce, look, I am happy for her. Mostly. It just seems so quick. Can you imagine marrying someone you’ve known for such a short time? I don’t get it. What’s the rush? Why can’t they date for a while first? Properly get to know each other… Vi can be so reckless sometimes.’

‘Agreed,’ Jayce replied. ‘But if this is what she wants, we have to respect that. Vik?’

He gave a reluctant nod of agreement. ‘It’s not our business.’

‘Exactly.’ Jayce shot her a pointed glare. ‘Not our business.’

They were right, of course. It wasn’t their business. Still felt like Caitlyn’s, though. Like it was her responsibility to stop Vi from making a huge mistake. To protect. Out of love, or residual loyalty, or habit.

She wanted to call Vi up then and there and demand a thorough pros and cons list for the engagement. But she couldn’t. Dug her nails into her palms to suppress the urge. No matter how much it felt like a problem she needed to solve, it wasn’t her place. Caitlyn had no more business meddling in Vi’s life than Jayce or Viktor.

‘Fine,’ she conceded with a gulp. Stared down at the countertop to avoid their eyes.

‘But, uh, I don’t know, maybe…’ Viktor cheekily bobbed his head side to side and moved his hands to match, mimicking a pendulum weighing a decision.

‘What?’

‘I don’t think I want to say it,’ he teased.

‘Spit it out,’ Caitlyn demanded.

‘Yeah,’ Jayce agreed and swigged a mouthful of beer. ‘Can’t be worse than what I said.’

They both snickered at Jayce’s brief moment of self-awareness.

‘Okay,’ Viktor began. ‘Well, Cait, your love life isn’t our business either, so please, tell me to fuck off if you’d like.’

‘…but?’

‘But,’ he continued, ‘I was thinking that, uh, maybe now with the divorce signed off, Vi getting engaged, blah, blah, blah…’ There was that pendulum again, swinging off its axis. ‘Maybe, uh… maybe it’s time for you to dip your pretty toes in the pool again, huh?’

‘You think she’s ready?’ Jayce asked.

‘Think you could ask her that question?’ She snarked.

Sarcasm hid a multitude of sins. Primarily, the fact that she’d already entered the metaphorical pool for a swim. With Jinx.

She sipped more wine and hoped they wouldn’t notice how guilty she looked.

‘Oh, okay.’ Viktor narrowed his eyes, examining her. ‘So, you’ve dipped more than a toe.’

Shame cloyed at her throat. She drank more wine.

‘What?’ Jayce’s laughter echoed through the large kitchen. ‘And you didn’t tell us? Who is she?’

‘You don’t know her,’ she said.

Not a lie, per se. Jayce had met Jinx but only once or twice, always in passing, and she couldn’t think of a single instance with Viktor. Of course, there may have been times without her present, but that was unlikely. Vi inherited Jayce and Viktor’s friendship from Caitlyn. The three of them didn’t hang out unless she was involved. At least, not before the divorce. But after the divorce didn’t count because Jinx and Vi weren’t on speaking terms and—

God, she needed to stop overthinking. Her hook-up with her ex-wife’s sister remained secret. That was all that mattered.

‘I don’t know,’ Viktor teased. ‘You’re blushing.’ He flicked Jayce a grin. ‘Think we know her?’

‘You don’t,’ she insisted. ‘It’s just hot in here.’

‘Aircon’s on,’ Jayce said, deadpan.

‘Cait, y’know what,’ Viktor proffered. ‘Whoever it is, making you blush like that, I’m pleased for you.’

‘There’s honestly no one,’ she said, patience fraying at the seams. ‘Look, I… I had a one-night stand, okay?’

‘Wow!’ Jayce pounced. ‘Little Miss Commitment had a one-night stand!? Did you also get a lobotomy?’

‘Ignore the wind-up,’ Viktor said. ‘I’m… assuming you… enjoyed it? Just, uh, based on your expression.’

‘My expression?’ She fixed her eyes on Viktor, avoiding Jayce’s taunting grin in her periphery.

‘You blushed like you were… maybe reliving it a bit.’

‘Oh.’

She didn’t know what to say. Viktor was too astute and knew her too well. She couldn’t pretend with him.

‘You’re probably right,’ she admitted. ‘It was a great night.’

‘But…?’

‘But then it wasn’t.’

‘How so?’

She stared into her wine and shrugged. Her limbs drained of all energy, resting heavy where she stood. The urge to sleep crept upon her. She could’ve slumped onto the couch so easily. Or fled her friends altogether, fetched a cab home. Anything to stop talking about that fucking night.

‘You don’t have to tell us,’ Viktor comforted.

‘No, no, I’d like to know,’ Jayce said, baring his teeth like a mama bear about to defend her cubs. ‘Did this woman hurt you, Caitlyn? You know, Mel’s on the council and you’re an enforcer; nobody hurts you and gets away with it.’

‘For fuck sake, Jayce, no, nothing like that.’ Exhaustion cracked her voice. ‘Anyway, no matter what happens to me, please never include Mel fucking Medarda in your little revenge fantasy. I already have a mother who wishes that woman was her daughter; I don’t need her replacing me as your best friend, too.’

Jayce’s expression shifted back into mockery mode. Anger lurked behind his eyes, but he seemed convinced by her plea.

‘Aww, you think she hasn’t already?’ He joked. ‘How cute.’

‘Jayce.’ She tensed. ‘I swear, I will hurl this glass at your head.’

‘We have matching t-shirts and everything.’

‘Shut up.’

‘Okay, but seriously,’ he pressed. ‘Have you got a problem with Mel?’

‘I don’t know. I get a weird energy from her. And her politics are just—’

‘What?’ That rage of his flared up again, directed at her this time. ‘Idealistic? She’s advocating for peace, Cait.’

‘I know exactly what Mel’s advocating for,’ she said. ‘My problem is understanding why it matters to her. What’s her angle?’

‘Her angle? Is caring about the wellbeing of a city and its people not enough of an angle for you?’

‘Don’t get defensive, Jayce,’ she tutted, knowing full well it would rile him up further. ‘I’m just expressing my opinion.’

‘Your wrong opinion.’

‘Agree to disagree,’ she said, and turned to Viktor with a sigh. ‘More wine?’

‘In the fridge,’ Viktor said, frowning slightly. ‘You don’t like Mel, Cait?’ He looked sad, like a wounded puppy in one of those charity adverts. ‘Everyone likes Mel.’

‘Exactly.’ She sloped over to the fridge with a sneer. Fetched the wine and plonked it on the countertop. ‘Mel Medarda knows how to play people.’ She listened to the satisfying glug of the wine as it sloshed into the glass. ‘I guarantee she’s a complete cow beneath all those false smiles and promises of progress.’

‘Oh, you guarantee?’ Viktor gave a small, devious smile, like he was plotting something. ‘Because you know her so well?’

‘I’m allowed to not like the people you like,’ she said.

‘Sure,’ he said. ‘She likes you, though.’

‘…what?’

‘Yeah. She thinks you’re… What was it?’ Viktor cast his mind back. Tapped his glass to his chin, drumming the handle of his crutch with his spare hand. ‘Charming, and… Ah. Intriguing.’

‘She does? Why? We’ve barely said two words to each other.’

‘Might that be why?’

Viktor made a good point, but Caitlyn’s confusion deepened.

‘What’re you getting at here?’

‘Geez,’ Jayce shook his head in dismay. ‘For someone who graduated top of her class, you sure can be dense sometimes.’

‘What? What’re you both talking about?’

‘Mel likes you, Cait.’ He spoke in slow motion, enunciating each syllable. ‘And I don’t mean she wants to be friends.’

The mere suggestion nearly made her spit out her wine with a cackle. Mel wasn’t queer… was she? Caitlyn would’ve known. Would’ve sensed it somehow. Right!?

‘It’s true,’ Viktor stated. ‘She’s bisexual. Her and Shoola used to…’ He widened his eyes and raised his brow. ‘Oh, but that stays between us. She likes to be discreet.’

What? Mel Medarda had a sapphic affair with one of her fellow council members? Seriously?

‘Pah! As if!’

 ***

 The following week, by some fluke, Mel Medarda joined the three of them for dinner. Slimy politician or not, she looked phenomenal. Her dark skin glowed in the candlelight as she glided into the restaurant. A cream satin slip dress skimmed her curves, offset by a delicate gold necklace and jet-black, flattering faux locs, interwoven with gold beads and rings. Caitlyn may not have liked Mel much as a person, but she couldn’t deny her striking beauty.

Trying not to stare, she peeled her eyes away. Met with Jayce and Viktor’s smug grins. Oh. The scheming couple had set them up. Treacherous bastards.

What did they think would happen? A few rounds of tequila shots and, hey presto, mutual lady lust? If Caitlyn didn’t like a woman, no matter how attractive they were, nothing would change her mind.

What happened with Jinx was a one-off.

Well, okay, it was more than that. A lot more. More than Caitlyn could afford to keep dwelling on.

Oh, for fuck sake. If she ended up sleeping with Mel in some pathetic attempt at getting over Jinx, Jayce and Viktor were dead men. She had training and access to firearms. They shouldn’t have messed with her.

‘Caitlyn,’ Mel chuckled in surprise as she took her seat at the table, directly opposite. ‘I wasn’t expecting you to be here.’ She eyed up the two men, suspicion afoot. ‘Looks like you both have some explaining to do.’

As if on cue, Jayce and Viktor laughed nervously.

‘Uh, well,’ Jayce began, ‘we didn’t think you’d agree to come if you knew—’

‘If I knew this was a double date?’ Mel beat him to the punch. ‘Don’t worry. I’ve had worse.’

To her credit, she seemed more amused than irritated. Caitlyn, meanwhile, couldn’t speak for fear of making a scene.

Being on the council, Mel had more experience with deception and poise, especially under the tutelage of Cassandra Kiramman. That woman hadn’t expressed a real emotion in at least fifteen years. Not since Caitlyn first raided her father’s secret stash of whisky and drunkenly confessed to liking women.

‘We figured you might like to get to know each other better,’ Viktor said, and shot Caitlyn a discreet, infuriating wink. ‘You’ve been vague acquaintances for… oh, how long?’

‘About five years now, right, Mel?’ Jayce played along. ‘Since you joined Cait’s mom on the council.’

They’d rehearsed this, hadn’t they?

‘Careful, Talis,’ Mel said. ‘You’ll make me feel old.’

‘Please,’ he scoffed. ‘Medardas don’t age. Just look at your mother.’

‘Ah, Ambessa,’ Viktor cut in. ‘How is she?’

Mel and Viktor, close friends that they apparently were, began chatting amongst themselves. Meanwhile, Caitlyn sulked. Yes, she was being rude, and no, she didn’t care.

God, her mother would’ve killed her. Good. If she died, she’d have a better evening.

How would Jinx act around someone like Mel…?

What would she think about Caitlyn on a double date? Would she feel jealous, or apathetic, like when Caitlyn stormed out of her apartment?

‘Cait,’ Jayce, sat next to her, elbowed her arm to get her attention. ‘Aren’t you going to say hi?’

Oh, he thought he was so bloody clever, didn’t he?

‘Wanker,’ she spoke under her breath for only him to hear.

He shook off the insult with a snicker and stretched an arm around her chair, leant in close to her ear.

‘Be nice,’ he whispered. ‘She likes you, remember.’

‘Doesn’t mean I have to like her back. And even if I did, how would that make it okay for you and Viktor to set up this… this pity date?’ She picked up her fork. Imagined stabbing him in the eye with it. ‘How tactful,’ she lamented. ‘Yes, pluck me a date from thin air, lest I remain single for a while. My knight in shining bloody armour. Whatever would I do without you?’

She realised after the fact that most of her little tirade came out full volume. Shit. Hopefully, Mel hadn’t heard.

‘Voice down,’ Jayce hissed.

Mel and Viktor’s conversation carried on without a hitch. Maybe the noise of the busy restaurant swallowed her words?

Or maybe not. On closer inspection, Mel’s smile drooped a little at the corners, while manicured fingers worried at the gold hoops threaded through her ears.

Guilt scorched Caitlyn’s cheeks. The last thing she wanted was for Mel to feel embarrassed. Jayce and Viktor had a lot to answer for. Her head spun with the ethics of it all.

She and Mel deserved better. They didn’t need this level of interference in their lives, especially not from a couple of well-intentioned, clueless men.

‘This isn’t a pity date,’ Jayce contrived. ‘Where did that idea even come from?’

‘Hmm, let’s see,’ she fumed, but kept her voice low so Mel couldn’t hear any further. ‘I’m thirty, single, and finalising a divorce to a woman who’s already engaged to someone else, like marriage is a game of bloody tag. That’s got pity written all over it.’

‘Cait,’ he softened. Gripped her hand in support. ‘Okay. I’m sorry. We obviously didn’t mean for you to interpret it that way. Vik and I thought this would be a fun night for you. No pity involved. I promise.’

‘…you do realise that apologising for how I’ve interpreted your actions isn’t an actual apology, right?’

‘Cait.’ His gentleness faded. ‘Come on. We’re all here to enjoy ourselves and you’re sulking like a moody teen.’

‘Funny,’ she spat. ‘I’m having a whale of a time.’

‘Wow. Your only child syndrome is shining tonight.’

‘Ditto.’

‘All I’m asking is that you stop being a brat for two minutes and give this date a chance. Mel’s great. You might have a good time.’

‘Maybe if you weren’t here bothering me, I would.’

‘Really? You’re that pissed off with us?’

‘Not at Viktor. Just you.’

‘What? Why? It was his idea as much as mine.’

‘So? He’s not the one badgering me about it.’

With a tut of disdain, Jayce pushed away from her and settled back into his corner of the table. Left to stew alone, she downed half her glass of wine in one.

Their frostiness finally drew Mel and Viktor’s attention. They stopped talking and looked straight at her. Jayce stared her down, too. There it was: scene, made.

‘Well…’ She attempted a smile. Tried to keep her hands and voice steady. ‘This is lovely. Not awkward at all.’

Across the table, Mel held herself in a fixed pose of grace and compassion. Straight spine; relaxed shoulders; hands neatly folded. Her eyes shone, alert and attentive, and a slight smile dimpled her cheeks.

Even under stress, the woman showed no flaws. They had to be there somewhere, lurking in the contours of her face, itching to reveal themselves. Caitlyn wanted to see. Just one, tiny defect to prove Mel was human. She didn’t ask for much.

‘Jayce? Viktor?’ Mel met Caitlyn’s eyes, then theirs. ‘Is what Caitlyn said true?’ Her rich brown irises blackened as her tone grew colder. ‘Is this a pity date?’

‘Uhhhhh…’ Viktor squinted and frowned like he’d just tasted something foul. ‘When did she say that?’

‘Just answer,’ Mel implored. ‘Be honest.’

‘Heh. Well. That’s not, uh… hmm… not how I’d put it…’

‘How would you put it?’ Caitlyn fired Viktor the most chilling glare in her arsenal.

‘Oh, come on,’ Jayce leapt to his boyfriend’s defence. ‘Pity has nothing to do with it.’

‘Nothing,’ Viktor reaffirmed. ‘We, uh… we spied an opportunity, that’s all.’

‘Makes you sound like crooks,’ Mel noted.

Caitlyn sniggered; she’d thought the same thing.

‘Well,’ Viktor sighed. ‘If we’re crooks, we… we broke the law in the name of finding love. Worth it, no?’

‘Nice try,’ Caitlyn scoffed. ‘But no.’

‘If I may?’ Mel kept her tone as measured as her body language. Looked each of them in the eye as she continued. ‘This is all far too messy for me. I don’t do complications, not when it comes to dating. Not anymore.’

Jayce and Viktor donned identical, knowing smiles. Whatever happened with Shoola must’ve done a number on her.

‘I think I’ll go; simplify things.’ Mel glanced back at Caitlyn. ‘If you could please keep this—whatever this was—to yourself, I’d be grateful. I like to keep my personal life personal. Especially with the council.’

A familiar fear distorted Mel’s features. Half a second and it disappeared, but Caitlyn knew it. She knew it like she knew her own name. Something she’d been born and raised with. Something she couldn’t escape from. That gnawing need to conform to the standards set out for her by family, society, everyone she met. The scalding terror of being her authentic self.

Mel Medarda was a professional, powerful woman, and she couldn’t risk jeopardising that for anything. Not even to live comfortably in her own skin. As a Kiramman, Caitlyn understood that conflict better than most.

In that moment, her perspective shifted. Fascinating, how one new piece of information about a person could alter her entire opinion of them.

‘Caitlyn?’ Anxiety bled through the cracks of Mel’s façade. ‘I need to know you won’t tell your mother about this.’

‘Don’t worry,’ she smiled in solidarity. ‘I won’t.’

Another shift occurred. She looked at Mel and didn’t want her to leave.

‘Stay?’ She asked. ‘Never mind the date thing. Stay. Have a drink. As friends?’

Mel tilted her head with a snicker; tempted.

‘You won’t regret it, Mel,’ Jayce piped up. That classic Talis smugness returned tenfold. ‘As crazy as it might sound, you two have a lot more in common than you think.’

‘We’re both mad at you right now,’ Caitlyn said. ‘Guess we must be soulmates. Are those wedding bells I hear? Maybe we can have a joint ceremony with Vi and Seraphine?’

‘Hilarious,’ Jayce grunted and slammed a fist into the table.

The cutlery on his and Caitlyn’s side of the table rattled. Viktor tried to withhold his amusement, but his eyes watered and bulged, fit to pop a blood vessel. Mel, however, didn’t hold back. She let out a glorious, wild, unfiltered laugh. Caitlyn followed her lead.

‘Oh, great,’ Jayce huffed. ‘So, you’re getting along at our expense now.’

‘At least they’re getting along,’ Viktor reasoned with him, and reached out across the table for his hand. Their fingers laced together. ‘Your round,’ he mouthed.

With the aura of a little boy being sent to sit on the naughty step, Jayce slouched over to the bar to order their second round of drinks. Caitlyn snickered as she watched him. Maybe that evening didn’t have to be a disaster after all?

Aside from her bisexuality, the first true, likeable thing Caitlyn learnt about Mel Medarda was her respect for people who spoke their minds and asserted themselves. She admired Caitlyn’s honesty about wanting friendship, even when it cost her comfort.

The second thing? Mel made Caitlyn laugh. As the wine flowed, her poised demeanour melted away to reveal an acerbic wit similar to Caitlyn’s own. Her wry jokes about the council, with all its prehistoric protocol and antiquated ideals, had Caitlyn in tears and nearly wetting herself.

And the third? Mel heard her. She focused on Caitlyn’s words rather than rushing to assumptions. Held Caitlyn’s hand when she stumbled onto a tangent about the stress of the divorce and her recent mental state.

There was so much more to Mel Medarda than her position on the council. Challenging and toxic relationships with mothers and lovers had profoundly affected both of them. They listened to each other. Related to each other. Comforted each other.

To Caitlyn’s disbelief, a true friendship bloomed. Mel’s company put her at ease in unexpected ways. So much so, she almost told her about Jinx.

Mel might’ve had some wisdom on the subject. Some words of advice to ease Caitlyn out of her slump. Her depression, as Jayce so lovingly put it. Mel could’ve listened and interpreted, relieved Caitlyn of the uncertainty and shame surrounding that night. Could’ve further dissected the situation and analysed the potential factors that led to Jinx’s shutdown. Could’ve helped Caitlyn understand.

She needed to understand.

In the end, as much as she wanted to, she didn’t mention it. Kept Jinx and those endless questions safely tucked away. It was a private pain, too intimate to share with anyone else.  

Mel couldn’t have fixed it, anyway, but her company acted as a salve. A temporary relief.

After several hours of council gossip and skirting around the hole in Caitlyn’s heart, the four of them stepped out into the balmy summer night. Jayce and Viktor hailed a cab in a matter of seconds; a flagrant last-ditch attempt at kindling romance between the two women. As their taxi pulled away from the kerb, Caitlyn waved them off with a fake smile and flipped them her middle finger.

‘I’m this way,’ Mel said, leaning her head slightly left.

‘Oh, um…’ Caitlyn floundered.

What did Mel mean? Did she want Caitlyn to join her? What could she say to let her new friend down gently?

‘Caitlyn, I like you…’

Shit.

‘We’ve had a lovely evening,’ Mel continued with a fond, knowing smile.

Shit, shit, shit.

‘But let’s be honest…’

Oh, thank God.

‘We both know that this isn’t happening, don’t we?’

Thank fucking god.

‘Absolutely,’ Caitlyn agreed. ‘Yep. Yep, yep, yep. Not happening in the slightest.’ Guilt needled her ribs like a stitch after running too fast. ‘Sorry. I like you too, as a person, somehow, after getting to know you better. Just… not like that… But you won me over, Medarda. You’re surprisingly brilliant.’

‘Surprisingly brilliant?’ Mel narrowed her eyes in playful scrutiny. ‘Not sure why it’s such a surprise, but I’ll take it.’

‘You should.’ She raised her brows to sell the mock threat. ‘Now that we’re friends, that might be the last backwards compliment I ever give you.’

They shared one last giggle before making their separate ways home.

So, that was the real Mel Medarda? No wonder Jayce and Viktor liked her so much.

 ***

 The following week, Vi and Seraphine invited her to their upcoming engagement party. Rather than outright reject the idea, Caitlyn listened. Reflected on it.

She disapproved of the union, but Vi’s invite was an olive branch. The brides-to-be promised a free bar and her choice of a plus-one. Jayce and Viktor were invited, too. Rude to say no.

She texted Mel that same day, asking if she would tag along as a friend, and they set the date.

Everything slotted into place.

 ***

 Six months after their tryst, Jinx remained the only unknown variable in Caitlyn’s life.

[vividlywriting]

Dbh and DND you say....( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). Alright, let's try this on for size: the main cast of Detroit: Become Human plays DND? Who plays what class? I imagine Millenial on a Mission Hank DMs but I'd be open to any of them writing a campaign and forcing the others to play

So my partner and I are pretty into DnD, and as he partook in my play through of DBH and listens to all my fanning out I asked his opinion on this prompt.  So I will put his additions or contradictions in here as well.  This is gonna be a bit long

Let’s start this off right!

DnDBH

Hank Anderson, millennial.

Has played DnD at least once in his life.  

It probably wasn’t his forte at the time, likely something his roommate pulled him into, and the campaign was probably a bust as it was.  

Has most likely played video games like Divinity Original Sin 2 and Baldur’s Gate and liked them.  

He’s also played WoW and Guild Wars 2 at different times and for different reasons in his life

neither of which lasted super long, but he did enjoy them at the time

He honest to god hasn’t thought about DnD or anything even similar to it for a couple of decades until Connor found an old set of dice in the spare room (now Connor’s room) at Hank’s place

Now Hank is running a campaign and he has no gods damned idea how he got roped into this

He thinks it’s hilarious when he throws moral quandaries at his players, which all happen to be androids

He once had his players break into a government building to locate a prisoner for information, they were forced to choose between freeing the prisoner and escaping or leaving them behind.  

All of their information on the prisoner was shaky at best and they had no way of knowing if the character would turn on them later because they all failed their sense motive checks

He was dumbfounded when they managed to befriend the character, completely ruining the arc that had the character as the big bad

Hank is well over the “I roll to seduce” aspect of the game, and is thankful none of his players tried to do that more than once

The only time an NPC flirts with a player character is when Hank is trying to throw a player off/fuck with them and derives a lot of pleasure from seeing his players stumble and try to get out of it

Except for the time when it backfired on him

He finished two glasses of whiskey after that

Hank will not admit that he enjoys DMing, he often complains it’s a pain in his ass and he can’t wait until the whole thing is over

Hank agreed to test Markus’s homebrew oneshot…once

Hank Anderson, millennial, by Zeke

No bad guy at first but increasingly intricate moral quandaries

Before moral quandaries he forgets he can’t just throw puzzles at the players cause fuckin androids

General DMing

Almost everyone has DMed at one time or another based on their interest

Connor as a DM

Connor’s DMing style is very straight forward

He usually goes with premade campaigns, luckily there are a lot out there

He’s not the best at improv when his players go off the beaten path

But he’s very good at playing NPCs

Probably thanks to his programming as a detective, because he can play the NPCs’ emotions to a T

As a DM he is a little bit of a hardass though

Connor as a Player

Connor style of character play is much different than how he is in real life

He seems to enjoy the fact that he doesn’t have to “complete his mission” 

In fact he seems to enjoy causing as much chaos as he can, while still somehow doing what he needs to, and often by accident (or design, no one really knows)

He started with a classic rogue character build

Now he takes characters not often in the rogue class and building them in ways that end to his chaotic play style

Connor is the main reason Hank has had to set off random events or traps, e.g. rocks fall sort of situation, just for annoying him

Connor takes incredible care to keep his characters alive, somehow in spite of the trouble they get into

His character’s tend to have a much higher charisma stat that Connor portrays in real life, he takes it as a challenge for himself more so than his characters

Connor as a Player by Zeke

Likes to play Dex based characters

Likes the concept of spells and often leans towards characters that can do both sneaky stuff and magic

Tried playing evil alignment character once, went balls to the walls and then got banned from playing characters like that because even North was like “wtf”

Markus as a DM

Markus usually starts with a premade campaign

By the time the party gets through the first “dungeon” he’s tossed the script out off the window and is rolling dice and making it up as he goes along

His NPCs often sound a little the same

And when he digs into the homebrew style of DMing he likes to bring in scenarios that either play for or against his players personally

Markus as a Player

Markus avoids leadership character roles like the fucking plague

He actually leans towards the utility characters, buffing and healing the rest of the party

That does not stop the other players from looking to him to be the deciding factor in major decisions of the game

Sometimes he literally just rolls a dice to determine his character’s answer out of frustration

When anyone but Hank DMs he enjoys flirting with most NPCs to try and mess with the DM

He has flirted with enemies before

He has bedded enemies before

It is ridiculous how his lowkey background character playstyle manages to have that much charisma

He is usually the reason Connor doesn’t die in game, and he never lets him live it down

Markus as a Player by Zeke

Every once in a while Markus likes just playing a barbarian and raging

After the first campaign of him ending up as a leader character he just wants to play something simpler

Simon as a DM

Simon is a very thorough DM

He’s very keen on everyone enjoying themselves

But he’s also a very fair DM and if you roll a Nat 1 you’re gonna have to deal with the consequences

He actually really enjoys building homebrews, but he also has a handful of backup plans depending how the players move forward and how much time they have to play

His NPCs have a decent amount of variety, and they often come back into play later whether or not the players realize it at the time

Simon as a Player

Simon is probably the most diplomatic character player you’ve ever seen

His characters are usually quiet, and startlingly efficient

He plays arcane casters usually, and uses it about as equally against enemies as he does against the party to quell the in party bickering that tends to happen

He likes being useful, but more importantly he enjoys the fact that there are many times the party would have been screwed over if he hadn’t stepped up

It took about three sessions before the other players stopped underestimating him and his characters, they tend to be quite lethal 

Simon’s characters usually try to solve things without violence, or without deaths

Someone, either player or DM usually makes that impossible 

While Simon usually just sighs and says “ok then”, he often laughs at the resulting destruction

He has incredible luck with his dice rolls

Simon as a Player by Zeke

Tries making things with high charisma scores but usually ends up defaulting to Markus’s leadership who just tries to put back to simon

Really good in the cleric/healing character classes

North as a Player

Prefers playing, not DMing, the one time she tried to take over for someone to run a oneshot everyone died. 

It did not go well

Most of North’s characters fall somewhere between chaotic neutral to chaotic evil

The others have fallen in the Lawful side of the chart, lawful evil to be exact, and it is terrifying

Her characters change alignment the most as she plays based on how she feels towards other characters and NPCs

Despite that she has yet to fall into the Good column of the chart

Her characters are also either highly destructive or just plain really good at violence/fighting

She doesn’t have a preferred class type, she just likes doing as much damage as possible

North does like playing races that are often less liked in the campaign world

She also likes to retaliate to in game racism and has before collected a small gathering of NPCs she’s helped in someway because of this

As a character player she can be quite cold

She has yet to play a game where the DM included any sort of brothel, unless it is there for the sole purpose of being infiltrated and the workers being saved

Yes that was a game Markus ran

North as a Player by Zeke

Fighter, Ranger, Swashbuckler/Pirate Characters

Josh as a Player

He is just happy being a player

LOOT

This boy will find the loot and you may or may not know about it

He has killed the least number of people than anyone in his party

He prefers to not kill anyone if he can

Leave them out cold, or tied up, he’s even fine with dismemberment so long as they still have their life

When he does have to kill its in either one of two ways

Either he poisons them and they or most characters have no idea he did it

OR he makes it quick and clean

He plays the assassin class very very well, or he would if he actually did his job as an assassin

Josh as a Player by Zeke

Uses the loot for a good cause

Chaotic good or neutral good

Always good and opposite of north, by accident

Monk or brawler and always specifies he is doing non lethal damage

Stealthy monk - josh becomes one punch man

Kara as a Player

Kara is a healer

She’s learned the best builds to give you the best buffs all day long

Her characters are often pretty fragile though so the other players usually have to strategize around her to make sure she lives so she can make sure they deal the most and take the least damage

Her characters have all ended up rescuing someone or something at some point 

This has lead to her almost always having a companion animal or favors she can call in from NPCs later in the game 

It’s been pretty handy

Kara Player by Zeke

Witch, Druid, Shaman classes

Alice as a player NPC by Both of Us

Was allowed to join to play as an NPC, reprising similar roles, because the first one went over so well

She learned to make stuffed animals just to slam them on the board

They are always too big

It was a dragon

It only happened because she found Hank’s old copy of The Hobbit

When she plays as her NPC she jumped up on her chair and holds up a stuffed animal of a dragon and screamed “I am fire! I am death!” slammed the toy onto the board and yelled “ROLL FOR INITIATIVE!”

Hank’s response was to look at his confused players and say “Well, go on, do it.” because they didn’t think it was serious

Almost no one has it in them to actually kill her characters, even tho they only exist to be fought

So Hank has to come up with “an out” for the NPC baddie to get away

Because of this Alice gets really into high fantasy books and movies

Hank doesn’t mind babysitting her as much now

Luther as a Player by Both of Us

He only plays occasionally

Mostly oneshots not full campaigns

Plays the smallest characters he can

He knows what it’s like to be big, he wants to be smol

He made one min/maxed orc that was too broken to be used more than the one time

He’s a really soft spoken player, he doesn’t say much but he enjoys playing

The Jerry Gaming Collective

Is a thing

Find them on twitch