#never thought i'd be praised for my smut-writing skills lol

[radioactive-cloud]

Just popping in to say I loved your most recent fic on ao3. I've been reading pretty much all Joker Out smut there is (what does that say about me lmaoo) and yours really sticks out. You have such a way of painting a picture with words!! It's like I'm watching the story happening and boy do I like what I see lol

omg!!! thank you so much, it's so nice of you to say 🤧❤️

i'm glad you liked it 🫶

[die-schwanenkoenigin]

AO3 Wrapped 2024

I was tagged by @lilolilyr to post my AO3 stats for 2024. Thank you!! <3

Please note that all titles/words highlighted in colors are clickable!

Works published: 19 total, 13 of which were for Hacks, and six of which were for The Devil Wears Prada.

Word count: 96,568. Shame I didn't reach 100k I guess (I was SO close, too), but oh well.

Kudos: 3,427 as of Jan 6, 2025

Hits: 67,797

Bookmarks: 445

Subsciptions: 401

Most popular by kudos: Partners, at 601. Oh, hey, it's reached 600 kudos since I last checked!!! The first fic of mine to go over that threshold :')

Most hits: the joys of spring, at a whopping 18,445! The hit count is so high that it's even closing in on my second most popular Camren fic (19,463 hits). Still, it'll be a long way to go to get to the top spot, where my most popular Camren fic currently sits at 27,821 hits. At the same time, it's been less than a year for this one, and seven for the others, soooo... who knows what'll happen!

Longest: Once again, the answer is the joys of spring! the joys of spring has exactly 30,000 words in 30 chapters. (My greatest accomplishment in 2024 tbh lol.)

Shortest: Well, technically speaking, it's Exclusive at 50 words. It's not a fic, though. It's a manip, and the article I wrote to go along with it is just... an afterthought. Which is why I'm going to go with That's not very in love with me of you at 500 words.

Most comments: the joys of spring once again, which got 145 comment threads.

Favorite comment: This one from @prozac-shaped-urn, hands down.

Wow!! I never thought I'd see the day where someone would give me a run for my money in the smut department, but you absolutely have!!! I'm highly impressed! The em dashes really add a heightened level of anticipation to the scene, and I like the hyperfocus on internal senses. The imagery of galaxies behind Ava's eyes speaks to the full-body domino effect of pleasure. It's very well executed. I'm over here taking deep breaths and consciously unclenching my jaw. Ya got me hot and bothered, ngl. Ava swallows. Blood rushes to her head, and she knows without a doubt that her face is red. She’s hot, burning hot, and she can’t pay attention long enough to hear the rest of what Deborah is saying. Not shaming, then. Accusing? Is Deborah accusing her of— Ava stares ahead and licks her lips. It’s all she can do to try not to be too obvious about the absolute state of her underwear. She’s so fucking—why is this not turning her off? Why is being scolded by Deborah doing it for her? “Come.” “Huh?” The way I also had the 'Huh?' reaction to reading 'Come' skldjfalkdjsf It spreads from her core to her stomach, to her thighs. And then to her heart, and to her arms, to her legs and head and her everything. / Ava swears something bursts behind her eyes. It might be a firework. It might be a meteor. It might be an entire fucking galaxy. / The galaxy behind her eyes explodes into a wall of white while her body pulses, her stomach contracting along with those pulses. This focus on internal senses is what I wish everyone would include in their smut. But writing erotica is a skill! It takes time to learn how to meld senses together to create an immersive reading experience, and I think you've done that well. Consider me a fan! <3

I didn't reply to it for days on end when I got it, I just wanted to read it over and over again. And I'm still not over it. Like. I'm deserving of this much praise????? Me???? Ahhsbjhdsvjcjdhb!!!!!

Fics that made me cry: The one fic that had any angst in it, Shattered Remains. Writing it felt really good. I loved it. But it did also make me very emotional.

Fics that made me smile: I don't really remember anything but the one fic that literally cracked me up every single time I attempted to read or edit it. Keepin' You Hangin' On The Telephone. My fiancée and I (jokingly, at first) tried coming up with absolutely ridiculous euphemisms for the vulva and vagina and after telling @wilfriede about it, they made me keep every single one of them. Without tagging the fic as crack, or warning people about it. And, honestly? It was kind of a blast. People liked it despite the horrendous euphemisms, and we three got a huge kick out of it and laughed about it for ages lol.

Gifts: Five! That's all the gifts I've ever received! :))) I got two Hacks fics from @lilolilyr, and three podfics from @wilfriede! Two of those were my own works, which made the gifts even more exciting! Like. Their Podfic of Bitte bitte mich is literally perfect. It's exactly how I imagined it and how I would have read it myself. (And you should totally listen to it.)

Collaborations: One! My first collaboration ever, in fact! Dare Me to Tell You the Truth was written by me, recorded by @wilfriede and me, and edited by @wilfriede for Pod Together 2024! As well as my first collab, this was also my first ever podfic. For either of those, I couldn't have asked for a better person to work with, honestly. @wilfriede -- thank you for your enthusiasm, your excitement, and your patience! You're awesome! (As are all of your podfics!)

Events: As mentioned above, Pod Together 2024. My first (and only) event :)

Word count read: I didn't read much, and I also don't keep track of my read fics. Probably somewhere between 150k and 250k, if that.

Bookmarks: I've added eight this year, making it a grand total of 27.

Once again, thank you very much to @lilolilyr for tagging me :)

I'm going to go ahead now and tag @prozac-shaped-urn, @wilfriede, @nic-writes-sometimes and @nachdenklich-tj. I can't think of anyone else who's a writer!!!!! If you see this and want to post your stats, though, go right ahead!! <3

[actuallysaiyan]

My Personal Love Story: Jiraiya

Request: "She/ her. I'm an ISTP, born on the Pisces-Aries cusp, my venus sign is Taurus. I'm also an obsessive overthinker and very uncomfortable in my own skin. For my love language I like giving gifts and providing acts of service but in return, I secretly enjoy receiving affection through physical touch, which may be weird since i'm really private and reserved and too shy to initiate anything. I love travelling experiencing other cultures an trying new food. I need to go somewhere new a few times a year, it's one of the joys of my life because it is in my travels that I get to let go for a bit and just enjoy the moment and maybe consider doing something stupid because you can get away with it in a place you may not return to for a while (not too crazy though im a responsible adult haha). For a date, I'd prefer it to be really casual and relaxed coz it can be really uncomfortable for me to be meeting new people. You know, anxiety. lol idk if it helps but I have a dark sense of humor. For the character I'd like it to be a younger Jiraiya (so we'd be closer in age) because having a sense of humor is very important to me. He's just seems friendly and easy going i feel like he'd make me feel at ease. It can have a bit of smut 😅"

Your Song: I Melt With You- Modern English Headcanons:

Jiraiya was so taken aback by you at first. You met when you were both still teenagers, and you thought he was a little too inappropriate and rude. He grew on you over time as he matured(mostly...hahah) and he became a man. The next time you saw him was after the war, and you were the one to be taken aback.

It was a slow romance, Jiraiya wanted to make sure you felt comfortable. He was still recovering from some of his own problems and he had his own hopes and dreams, but he never forgot about you.

One night, he invited you out for dinner. You were surprised at how nervous you were about going on a date with Jiraiya. The whole night, Jiraiya had you laughing and smiling. You were so amazed at how much he had changed. You were starting to develop a crush on him.

Then as you continued to see one another, Jiraiya just made it official with you. He didn’t want to be with anyone else and he was ready to end his bachelor life if it meant he got to spend the rest of his life with you.

You and Jiraiya travel together as he tries to complete his quest. You’re always so blown away at the beauty of all the different cultures in this beautiful world. Jiraiya always picks out one souvenir from each place you go to so that you can bring it home.

When you’re both in Konoha, you live in a small house together. You have some wonderful memories in that house and you and Jiraiya love to make the most of it. He often will spend time writing his books as you relax and edit some of his manuscripts. This is a hobby you both enjoy while you’re both home.

Your sex life has never been better. Jiraiya knows exactly what he’s doing to you and he is very skilled at pleasing you. He is a very attentive lover and he knows all the special spots on your body to caress or bite. He always praises you so much and he very much enjoys making you feel good.

Lots of cuddles. Jiraiya loves having you fall asleep on his chest while you’re both taking a nap. He wraps himself around you, holding you close. He’ll place soft kisses to your forehead as he thanks whatever higher power is out there that let him have you in the first place.

Jiraiya is so proud of you. Anything you do, you know you will have your own personal cheerleader. Jiraiya will do anything to make you so happy, so he is very supportive of all your hobbies. He loves seeing you succeed as he recognizes how talented and wonderful you are.

Jiraiya also loves publicly showing you off. He thinks he’s so lucky to have you as his partner, and you are the sexiest person in his eyes. In public, he’s going to parade you around a little, but just know that it comes from a place of true love. He’s crazy about you.

Your First Kiss/First Time:

He unlocks the door to his apartment and lets you in. You are a little surprised that it’s this clean. You were expecting it to be a bit more like a guy’s place, but Jiraiya is someone who does enjoy having a clean space to be able to live comfortably.

“Thanks for coming with me tonight. I’m really enjoying our time together.” He says as he shuts the door behind him.

“I’m enjoying our time together too, Jiraiya.” You reply as he walks over to you. He slowly guides you towards the wall and you have your back pressed up against it.

His fingers tilt your head forward, as he looks deeply into your eyes. You can see so much emotion from this one look, and you swear you see a look of love and admiration in his eyes. Jiraiya leans in and captures your lips in a very sweet but passionate kiss.

You moan softly as you realize what’s happening. You lean in to kiss him back, your tongue teasings his lips. Jiraiya’s hands run from your shoulders down to your hips. You pull away to breathe, but it doesn’t take long for Jiraiya to kiss you once more.

His hands cup your ass as you feel him pull you up. Your legs wrap around him instinctively, as you feel yourself grow aroused. Your tongues fight for dominance as Jiraiya begins squeezing your ass.

“Jiraiya,” You whine breathlessly. Jiraiya smirks as he studies your plump red lips. You can feel his erection grinding up against you.

“I need you,” His voice is gruff and low as he confesses how he feels. You swallow hard, your heart beating so fast in your chest right now.

“I need you too,” you tell him. He just groans as he realizes what you’ve just said. He pulls you from the wall and carries you to the bedroom. When your back hits the mattress, you squeal in surprise. Jiraiya eyes you up and down.

“I love seeing you on my bed like this, you look so damn amazing.” He’s so aroused right now, he can’t think straight.

“Why don���t you join me?” You ask him in a teasing tone. His eyes light up at this and within seconds he’s next to you on the bed.

His lips connect to your neck, sucking and nipping while his hands make busy work with your shirt. You groan his name as he sucks on your sweet spot, making your pussy clench around nothing.

“You smell so fucking good, baby. I can’t wait to taste you.” Jiraiya says as he tosses your shirt to the ground. When he sees your breasts in that sexy bra of yours, Jiraiya goes absolutely feral.

You were in for a good night.