#never say never... the magic that you work on this man's pov fr

[flowercrowngods]

in my head the fic (and on paper) is the national and leonard cohen themed and vibed but goddamn all i need to do is put on the fray and there she is. harvey's pov.

[terraclae]

Morning light

Lore pings: @yuushanoah-fr @cityofinoue

It's been a rough night for the crew of Paramo city. A few POV shifts happen in this one, it rounds out back to Arodan though. 

Carmen tended not to give much thought to Dreams she had. If she did she was never going to get up in the morning and she didn’t have time for that. She stayed in bed for five minutes more and that would be it. Through the small windows early pale morning light fell, dust dancing in the light. Carmen’s room on the ship was cluttered with all manner of objects she had taken from the ship’s hold. Books, clothing, furniture, trinkets, things she liked and things she knew Epoch would have liked.

‘Okay.’ She said through a strained breath. Slowly she got up and crept out of bed. She wore easier clothing now and if she didn’t think too much of things she was up and going within another five minutes. She met her face in the mirror, paused, and stopped to fluff her hair. ‘Let’s do this.’

*

Balam hadn’t slept a lot that night. He knew he had drifted off a few times but truly sleeping wouldn’t happen. Slow and heavy, he rose and listened to the ship’s creaking around him. In the hall he could hear someone pass and he wondered who it was. Balam rubbed his face and groaned quietly. He had yet to figure out what was next, beyond the problems that had already manifested on the boat. Where would they go now that they didn’t have home to come back to?

‘Balam?’

Carmen stuck her head through the door. When he last her stare she smiled. ‘Sorry, I’m late, am I not?’

‘Nah. I think we all need some extra sleep.’ She remained by the door. ‘Are you alright?’

‘Yeah. Little tired.’ He shook his head and his eye fell on his hands. He’d have to apologize to Sachairi later, or at least the person that he truly was. ‘I’ll come up when I’m ready.’

Carmen paused, her eyes drifting elsewhere. Without looking up she stepped in and closed the door behind her. ‘Hey. I’ll wait.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘It’s not as if I have anything better to do.’ She sat down at the end of Balam’s bed where his feet weren’t. He was just a little too big for the frame. ‘Maybe I will take over sailing the ship for a while. Caer fell asleep against the wheel this morning and there’s only so much the coffee supply can do.’

‘Do you know how to steer a ship?’ Balam slid out of bed around Carmen and paced to an overloaded closet in the corner. It was bolted to the floor like most furniture. ‘I can do that too.’

‘The sea’s been easy. Maybe it’ll get worse once we reach the coast but for now it’s calm.’ She kept her gaze on a plant in the corner which looked dried out. ‘Epoch taught me once, so I might be able to take over for a bit.’ She knew Epoch’s name made Balam worry over all sorts of things again but if they danced around to that would remain. Her eyes narrowed. ‘Balam?’

‘Yes?’

‘Help me out with something.’ She hopped up and towards the plant where she knelt down. Balam finished pulling a shirt over his head and came to bend down besides her. ‘Hold out your hand and make a block of ice.’

‘I… I see.’ Balam did as asked. In his hand ice started to form and shape. He focused and his eyes glowed a fierce blue as he extended his magic until he held a block of ice the size of his palm. ‘So what now?’

Carmen pulled his frigid hand closer by one of his fingers. She moved it to be above the pot and placed her hand on the block of ice. Her own magic flared and melted the block slowly. Water dripped into the pot and hydrated cracked soil. ‘That will be a welcome change. Maybe it’s too dry to be saved but we tried.’

‘Is this a metaphor of sorts you’re trying to show me?’

Carmen grinned. 'The point I am trying to make is that we work better as a group. Look at us.' She tilted Balam's hand down. 'We were at each other's throats over something as minor as Sachairi not being trustworthy. We should not fight each other despite our weariness.'

'I know that.' Balam quietly responded and he didn't dare to look at her, instead fixing his focus on the plant. 'I don't want us to fall apart as a group.'

'I know… I know we lost Paramo. And it will be a long time before we all will learn to deal with the effects of that.' Carmen added. She briefly squeezed Balam's hand to draw his attention back to her. 'But at least we still have each other. We can do this together.'

'I want to get it back. Not today, but once we figure out the way to do so.' He said this with a mild, simmering resolve. All the ice melted in his hands and he waved it over the pot so the remainder of the water dripped off his hand. 'But you are right. I will not do that alone.'

'We'll get back our home my liege.' Carmen said quietly. 'For Epoch, and for the city of Paramo.'

'... For Epoch.' Balam hummed in agreement.

*

'You know, you do have big enough hands to play drums perhaps.'

'I'd smash right through them Raz.' Sachairi said with a long, drawn out sigh. He drew Raz closer to him who murmured something nondescript. 'I don't think I'm made for making music.'

'People aren't made for specific purposes, Sachi.' Raz said and giggled. He looked out over the field wistfully and Sachairi loved that kind of look. The landscape before them was beautiful yes, snow coated and pristine. The sky was a vibrant blue and the sun illuminated countless snow hardy flowers that popped up from out of the snow. None of that compared to Raz. 'We're just people. I play the harp because I want to.'

'Well, you're good at it.' Sachairi hummed. He rested his chin on Raz's head and the skydancer responded by creeping deeper into the larger man's coat. 'That's your thing. My thing is brute force.'

'Okay, listen.' Raz held up a finger and tilted his head back. 'What if you made me a harp? Maybe subtle isn't your forte, but rough is. You can try carving something.'

'I don't think I can do that.'

'I think you can.'

'Yeah, but you can think I can do anything if I just set my mind to it.' Sachairi said, unhelpfully grinning. Raz turned and proceeded to knock him over. 'Look, Raz, I-'

'Look, Sachi-' Raz grabbed Sachairi's face and shook him a little, a narrowed stare meeting Sachairi's wide, confused gaze. 'There, you always say that. What I want to say, is that I understand what bothers you, but that upkeeping the attitude you have now isn't going to make you happier.' He smiled warily and pressed his forehead to Sachairi's. 'Try being more positive. Try it for me if you don't want to do it for you.'

'I know, I know.' He held up his hands and Raz gently took them. 'It's just… Difficult. This is new for me.' He glanced up and wordlessly questioned further before finding that wouldn't help. 'You know, having a home.'

'It's new for me too.' Raz whispered. He lay down and settled back into part of Sachairi's coat. 'It's new to be safe, it's new to be free.' He nuzzled Sachairi's neck lovingly. 'That is why we have to be the best versions of ourselves or try to be.' He grinned against the skin of Sachairi's neck. 'Whether you want it or not.'

'Ooh, stubborn, are we?' Sachairi grunted in response, his lips still curled into a firm smile. He heard Raz giggle and it was music to his ears and sugar to all of his other senses.

He was definitely dreaming.

As soon as he became aware of it and turned his head he could see him in the distance. Dmitri stood in the haze of snow and Sachairi remembered his time already was up. 'Raz, I… I have to tell you something.'

'What is it?' Raz raised his head and looked curious as to what had so suddenly soured Sachairi's mood. He couldn't tell him. He woke up, and realized there were too many things he wouldn't be able to tell Raz once he found him.

'Sachi.'

He blinked the sleep from his eyes and stretched the incoming soreness out of his back. Two, no three figures stood by the door to his cell. The open door, that was. His sight cleared and he first saw Balam, then Carmen, then Kassa. Kassa held the key. 'What-'

'No Sachi, I'm not going to push you around. Got my gloves on, you see.' Kassa said. They looked far more vulnerable without their glasses, but what Sachairi was more interested in were the black gloves they wore with wristbands clipped to them. 'Point is, I won't hurt you. I know it will be hard seeing me as a friend or even an ally after that, but at least see me as a fairly well behaved stranger.'

'You are right, I do not see you as a friend.' Sachi grunted. For once he successfully wrestled his anger into submission and held out his restraints. 'You're letting me out?'

'Under the condition you don't try to hurt anyone on this ship.' Balam sternly responded, stopping Kassa from stepping forward. 'Kassa agreed to precautions, for you I will not hesitate to use force.'

'Sheesh, sir, really?' Sachairi backed away cautiously. 'I promise I won't. I haven't even had the time to figure out myself, so I'd rather not waste my time figuring out right now what I think of others.'

'Very well. But I'm warning you nonetheless.' Balam let go of Kassa and they were quick to unlock Sachairi's restraints. Balam turned away and started to walk off. '... Welcome back, Sachairi.'

Sachairi didn't respond beyond the same sort of grunt he always used, but he was glad to be back.

*

Arodan woke up with a headache that felt like an axe to the head. Not a well swung one at that too. His vision still flitted in and out and he worried he was going to be fully blind due to the mistake he made. It wouldn't be a first. When his vision did finally return, he didn't recognise the room he was in as his own. It was far less messy and things were stored in crates labeled their particular category. The bed he was in felt decidedly more worn than his own. Everything clicked into place once his gaze drifted to the floor and he saw Atlas lying there, on a bedroll, burrowed in a thick blanket. 'Oh, Atlas.'

He sat upright and his head swam once more. He was not about to throw up on Atlas' sheet, that kind of person was not who he was going to be today. He stifled his nausea and slid out from under the covers, instead taking to sitting on the floor besides Atlas. He didn't know what to say to him and wanted to ask him why he brought him to his room. Words left him however and he felt more at ease than he had ever felt just sitting there. Despite the headache, despite the nausea, and despite the soreness, he felt calm.

'I can hear you, Dan.'

Then he wasn't. Arodan shook out of his calm state of mind and immediately crept back to the bed. 'I um...'

'Did you have a nightmare? You sound out of breath.' Atlas sleepily asked, hauling himself up. He sat there with his eyes closed and his teeth grinding together lightly. 'Watchu doing up already?'

'Atlas, I'm pretty certain it's noon already.'

'Ah, fuck.' Atlas groaned, and pressed his head into his hands. 'Fudge, I mean, or… Ugh, whatever.'

'Are you… Are you alright, Atlas?' Arodan carefully crept closer again and leant around Atlas in an attempt to see if he was hurt. 'Did you sleep at all?'

'Yeah. I you know, wanted to keep watch but I fell asleep without me noticing.' Atlas dragged his hands down his face and rounded them around to smooth his hair back. 'Keeping watch in the night was never my strong suit.'

'I see.' Arodan bit his lip pensively and looked away. 'Atlas?' The other man looked at him with one half closed eye, the other hidden by his hand. 'I'm sorry if I kept you up because you were worried.'

'Yeah, I shouldn't have done that, that wasn't worth it.' Atlas grunted. He looked uneasy and exhausted, which wasn't a good expression on him. 'But I'm not angry with you anymore.' He looked over Arodan worried, ready to fuss over him. 'Just please… Never do that again. I don't like seeing the people I love in pain, Dan.'

'I will, I just… Forget to think of that sometimes.' Arodan scratched the back of his head, not knowing what else to do with his hands. 'I knew I was going to be difficult but I'm sorry I'm acting this way this early on.'

Atlas needed a moment to figure out what Arodan meant and then nodded along once he did. 'Look, it isn't that I mind you being difficult. I mind that trait being constant.' He reached out and dragged Arodan into a very awkwardly angled hug. 'I love you, but we need to be better, okay? I don't want to be someone you will think of badly once all is said and done.'

'I promise.' Arodan murmured this into Atlas' shoulder. 'I love you too, and I want to be around you. So I will try.'

'Can you keep that promise?'

'I don't usually make promises lightly.' Arodan retorted. 'Make of that what you will.' He drew back and took Atlas' hands. 'I want to learn more magic by your side, I'd like to see the world, I want to make something of myself. That is why I'm promising this to you.'

'Okay. Once more then.' Atlas whispered. His hands left Arodan's and cupped his jaw to draw him in for a kiss that lingered. He drew back and remained nose to nose. He smiled, basking in the moment, and then his brow furrowed which made his expression look a lot more mischievous.  'You really need to shave, this is getting out of control.'

'That makes me want to do it less.' Arodan bluntly responded without too much thought. Atlas responded by pulling a knife out from under the drawer by his bed. He looked deadpan and held it up and Arodan got the message. 'Oh my gods, we're not doing that with a knife!'

'What, that's how I used to do it.' Atlas said and shrugged. 'It never really hurt me too bad.'

Arodan understood more clearly now why Carmen had helped him to shave concerning Atlas apparently didn't possess foresight. Gently he took the knife from Atlas' hand. 'Fine, I'll use this. Do you have a mirror?' Somehow Arodan had started to love him more that morning and made sure to be as careful as possible in removing the beard he had grown. He left his hair as it was besides tying it into a braid. He liked having long hair as opposed to the short hair he once had in the past.

When both men had finished getting ready to head upstairs they did quietly so. Atlas tailed Arodan closely and whenever he met his eye he would smile knowingly. Arodan didn't have anything else to tell Atlas, so he didn't mind. He opened the hatch and stepped out into the morning sun that illuminated Atlas as soon as he got to bask in it too. It was a beautiful sight still. Atlas went ahead of him and disappeared in the direction of the bow of the ship.

'Hey librarian.'

Arodan turned and saw Caer behind him at the wheel. A half full container of coffee sat besides her and she looked as if she was about to fall asleep. 'Caer? Are you alright?'

'Peachy. Like lack of sleep will get to me.' She picked up the coffee and took a pensive sip. 'Carmen is gonna take over the wheel for me though, so I can pass out for a bit. Isn't she sweet?'

'Yeah… You look um-'

'I know.' She smiled, a little distant in her emotions. 'But you don't look too well either Dan. Take care of yourself, will you?'

'Of-Of course.' He stepped towards her and she took to putting away the coffee entirely. 'But please go sleep, you look like you're on death's door.'

'When you're at the point I'm at you'll never feel more alive.' Caer said, an attempt to joke around. 'Don't worry about me. I'm going to sleep, we're near land anyway.' She pointed towards the horizon and as she said, a coast could be seen, lined with rocky cliffs and swaths of pale grey clouds drifting over it. Arodan swore he could see more ashen lands to the west of it, where the skies grew darker. 'We're going to see an old ally of Waldemar's.' She got up and stretched. 'Hopefully he'll be courteous to Balam.'

'Who exactly is this person? Can we trust them?' Arodan narrowed his eyes in an odd misplaced attempt to see more. 'How do we know they're going to help us?'

'Well, we never know for sure. But it is president Odin of the Stratus Corporation.' She spat her words, looking appropriately disdainful. 'Some aid would be nice.' She shook her head. 'By the way, the others are on the bow. I'm sure your boyfriend already ran over there.'

'Right. I'll go over there then.' Arodan slowly backed away from Caer and decided he probably shouldn't ask her about her further thoughts on Stratus Corp. He made his way over to the bow slowly and saw five people. He wondered who the other's were before he saw them and instinctively backed away again. Kassa stood by Balam's side, looking over the taffrail. They seemed to be quietly discussing something and Kassa didn't notice Arodan. Sachairi stood more separate from the group and leant against a mast. He sidled over to Sachairi first. 'Hey.'

'Hey.' Sachairi glanced at Arodan. 'Seems like they let me out.' He took in a deep breath of ocean air and seemed to be enjoying himself. 'I'm sorry about last night. I didn't mean to uh...'

'Choke me? That isn't new.' Arodan rubbed his throat and felt a sting of pain in his head again. 'Can't say I forgive you yet but I'm not mad.'

'That's weird.'

'Yeah, it is.' Arodan nodded and gently reached out to pat Sachairi's shoulder before stopping himself. 'How are you handling it by the way?'

'It's weird. It makes sense, but it won't stick.' Sachairi said, closing his eyes. 'Like it can't be real.'

'Take your time thinking on it okay?' Arodan responded, moving over to where Balam and Kassa were. 'I know it can be a lot.'

'Well… I don't have anything better to do.' Sachairi said. He turned away from Arodan to focus on the ocean. 'So I might try to make something out of this.'

Arodan nodded and left him by the mast. Without another word he settled at Balam's other side. Kassa shared a sidelong glance with him and he could sense the magic from the wristbands they wore. He was safe then, and at this point he was okay with it all. As they stood now, he felt a comfortable familiarity. He hadn't seen Carmen join, but the next moment she was among them, having crept in between Balam and Arodan. Atlas joined Arodan's free side snugly. This time, their shared moment was far more uncertain.