#never saw a softball question he couldn't take way too seriously

[onihcinimkcin]

RIP

[comeliashawnae]

A fictional story Inspired by Logic's 18002738255 music video

So….. I was 18 when I came out… Not really came out, more like my mother walking in on me and my “friend.”

It was 2 weeks before high school graduation, and she was not the first friend I had sleep over.

The day before was so incredibly normal. It was a Saturday, and my friend and I hung out at the mall most of the day. She got some hoop earrings and shoes, I got a couple of shirts and a bracelet. I asked my parents if she could stay over, they said fine.

My parents had no idea I was gay. I wasn’t a girly girl, but I wasn’t a tomboy either. I definitely glammed up when I felt like it. But hair tied, sweats on, with no make up on was also a fav. I’m definitely what you call the in between, I played softball hardcore, but I also loved watching real housewives.

Being an only child I was the best of both worlds for my parents. I was the daughter who loved shoe shopping with mom, and the girl who can watch sports with dad cuz she knows the difference between a field goal and a grand slam. I had a great childhood because of that. I have very loving parents. Still didn’t stop that wow factor though.

After shopping my friend and I got to my house, ordered pizza, watched some movies. Normal things teenage girls do.

We had been some what “dating” but nothing official. She asked where she was sleeping, I told her my bed was fine. I had mastered keeping quiet when friends came over.

My friend and I had started making out once we got to my bedroom. This wasn’t our first kiss, but it was our first time taking it past that. With each other anyway. My room and my parents room were on opposites end of the hall, so a little music helped mask whatever sounds we couldn’t help get out. We went further than either of us expected too, and then fell asleep in each others arms. Was it love, or teenage lust?

Think I’ll go with the second one. Yeah that sounds right, just pure teenage lust. Hormones raging and we just got caught up in the moment. Thats the answer I have for that now, did not have that answer that morning when my mother opened that door.....

Morning came, it was probably 8, sometimes we go to church, but since I had a friend over I figured we weren’t. I was right, I just didn’t think my parents were gonna order breakfast for us. They had woken up early and my dad left to get the food and my mom had come to ask what we wanted.

I was half awake and on fence if I should've woke my friend up before my parents or just wait five more minutes since it was Sunday morning. Should’ve gotten up five minutes earlier. I thought they’d sleep in til 10 and my friend would have had time to get dressed and hide any evidence. But I just laid there in my own world, thinking I could hide forever. I guess that was a sign from the universe to stop hiding. I had no choice when I heard my mother’s voice. When I heard that door open I just knew it was over.

Its like time stood still for those few moments. My mom walked in and said “morning girls” and just paused….

My friend awoke from her deep sleep and just stared at my mom. The look on my mother’s face was…I can't even really describe it.

Stunned. Absolutely stunned.

It felt like she was standing there forever, when it was probably just a few seconds. No words were said, she just shut the door.

I looked at my friend, she looked back at me then turned to grab some clothes. Not really sure if they were hers or mines, just saw her throw on a shirt and pants grab her bags and rush out the door. My mother was still there when my friend opened it. They looked at each other for a second before she bolted to the front door. I was still sitting in my bed when mom looked back at me. I looked at the floor and saw a shirt and shorts. I grabbed them and, keeping myself completely covered as possible, put them on. I didn't look at her the entire time she stood there, I couldn't. I sat there on the edge of the bed and slowly started rocking back and forth with my hands wrapped around myself. I could feel her eyes burning into the top of my head. What was there to say?

Like I said, if my friend wasn't there we would have gone to church. We're not overly religious, and I wasn't doing anything to rebel against religion. We were very involved in the church, we did bake sales, Halloween parties, Christmas plays. We loved our church family. My parents weren't judgmental towards anyone. But still, I didn't know what their reaction would be, and I definitely didn't want them to find out this way.

After what felt like hours of her standing there, she walked back into my room. I was still staring at the floor, rocking back and forth.

"Can you look at me?" She finally said. I slowly raised my head and looked at her. I can't describe the look she gave me, I just know I started crying the second I saw her face. I looked away and just cried. Through the tears I saw her feet come closer to me. I felt her sit down next to me and place her arm around me.

"Sweetie, please stop crying" she said softly. I tried to stop but couldn't. She patted me and pulled me closer. Then I heard my father come in.

"What's wrong?" He asked, standing at my doorway. I finally stopped crying and looked at him. I opened my mouth, but words couldn't come out.

"Our daughter is gay." My mother said simply.

"Really?" He said with just a look. Not of disappointment, more surprise. Yeah he was really, really, surprised.

"Well....ok" he said.

"Yeah" said my mother still patting my shoulder, "Yeah."

"So.....are we going to eat breakfast now or?" He asked.

"Yeah I'm starving" Mom said. She pulled her arm from around me and grabbed my hand. "Come on honey,"

With tears still in my eyes I followed them to the kitchen. We sat at the table and started eating. I still had not said a word. Dad stared for a second, Mom stared, they stared at each other. I just tried eating, even though I had no appetite.

"So," my dad said hitting the table. Mom and I jumped. "Sorry, just a little surprised."

"You're telling me," mom said. I put my fork down and just stared at my plate.

"Look," dad said "We're your parents and we love you. You're the greatest gift your mother has ever given me. You're the greatest gift I've given her. You are our world."

I nodded. Still staring at my plate.

"When did this all start?" Mom asked.

Oh that question had me so scared. I almost cried again.

"Baby don't cry" she said softly. There was a pause. Do they really want to hear the truth or do they want to hear what they think they should hear. Before I could even give myself a real answer the words left my mouth

"At a party when I was 14," I said still looking at my plate. I took a deep breath and finally looked up.

"An older girl started flirting with me. But that wasn't what did it. When I was 11 and everybody was talking about the latest boy bands and I was still looking at the female singers closer than I needed too I knew something wasn't right with me. That party when I was 14 just confirmed it."

"There's nothing wrong with you." mom said. "Like your father said, we're your parents and we love you. No matter who you decide to love."

Still teary-eyed I had a big smile of relief on my face.

"This explains why you never brought a boy over." Said dad. "Which is too bad because I had that all planned in my head the second the doctor said it's a girl."

Mom and I let out some giggles.

"But seriously," he said "No more sleepovers, OK?"

"Yes sir" I said.

"Well, at least we know she'll never get pregnant when she goes to college." Said mom.

"Yeah, so many upsides." Laughed dad. He got up from his chair and hugged me.

"I love you, honey."

"I love you too, daddy."

Two weeks later I graduated high school, a couple of months after that I started college. New city, fresh start, I was finally able to be me.

I guess I'm what you call the lucky one. My parents didn't threaten to kick me out or disown me. They just loved me because I'm their daughter.

I can't believe that was 10 years ago. Here I am now at 28 years old, in a happy relationship. In a happy marriage.

My wife had asked for my parents blessing. My father, proudly, walked me down the aisle. We just adopted our first child, a handsome baby boy. My mother is so happy to be a grandmother and my father is happy to, finally, have a little boy in his life.

I know all stories don't have a happy ending, but I'm hoping mines help someone.

It's still better to come out versus keeping it in. I kept myself in the closet for so long. At 11 years old I knew I was different, but I also knew I needed to keep my mouth shut because I knew it was wrong. From a 11 to 14 I tried to play along, but I just didn't like boys. Then that faithful night a girl kissed me for the first time and that was it. So for four long years I kept every relationship, every girlfriend a secret from parents. Seven years I was never my true self. My teen years were harder because I had such a big secret.

But once they came out. Once I came out, life got better.

For everyone still hiding, it gets better.