#never read the jakarta method i see | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

woman-loving · 3 years

Text

Islam, heteronormativity, and lesbian lives in Indonesia

Selections from Heteronormativity, Passionate Aesthetics and Symbolic Subversion in Asia by Saskia Wieringa, 2015.

These passages discuss some general social developments related to sexuality and gender in Indonesia, and then describe stories from different (mostly lesbian) narrators. They also touch on the creation of a religious school for waria (trans women), and include two trans men narrators, one of whom talks about his struggle to get sex reassignment surgery in the 70s. I also included a story from a divorced woman whose sexuality was questioned when her husband complained that she couldn’t sexually please him. Accusations of lesbianism can be directed toward any woman as a method for managing her sexuality/gender and prodding her into compliance with expectations of sexual availability.

In spite of protests by religious right-wing leaders, Islam does not have a single source of its so-called 'Islamic tradition'. There are many different interpretations and, apart from the Quran, many sources are contested. Even the Quran has abundant interpretations. Feminist Muslim writers, such as Fatima Mernissi (1985), Riffat Hassan (1987), and Musdah Mulia (2004 and 2012), locate their interpretations in the primary source of Islam--the Quran. According to those readings, sexuality is seen in an affirmative, positive light, being generally described as a sign of God's mercy and generosity toward humanity, characterised by such valued qualities as tranquillity, love, and beauty. The California-based Muslim scholar Amina Wadud (1999) describes the jalal (masculine) and jamal (feminine) attributes of Allah as a manifestation of sacred unity. She maintains that Allah's jamal qualities are associated with beauty that, although originally evaluated as being at the same level as Allah's masculine qualities that are associated with majesty, have en subsumed in the 14 centuries since the Quran was revealed.

The Quran gives rise to multiple interpretations. Verse 30:21 is one of my favorites:

“And among Allah's signs is this. That Allah created for you spouses from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity whit them, and Allah has put love and mercy between your [hearts]: verily in that there are signs for those who reflect.”[2]

The verse is commonly used in marriage celebrations, and I also used it in my same-sex marriage ritual. It mentions the gender-neutral term 'spouse,' which leaves room for the interpretation that same-sex partners are included.

Indonesian waria (transwomen) derive hope from such texts. In 2008, Maryani, a well-respected waria, opened a pesantren (traditional Islamic religious school) for waria, named Al-Fatah, at her house in Yogyakarta. After her death in March 2014, it was temporarily closed, but fortunately soon reopened in nearby Kotagede. A sexual-rights activist, Shinta Ratri, opened her house to waria santri (santri are strict believers, linked to religious schools) so they could continue to receive religious education. At the official opening, Muslim scholar Abdul Muhaimin of the Faithful People Brotherhood Forum reminded the audience that, as everyone was made by God: "Everyone has the right to observe their religion in their own way...", and added: "I hoped the students here are strong, as they must face stigma in society."[3]

Prior to her death (after she had made the haj),[4] Maryani herself, a deeply-religious person, said: "Here we teach our friends to worship God. People who worship are seeking paradise, this is not limited to our sex or our clothing..."[5] So far, hers is the only waria pesantren in Indonesia, perhaps even globally, and may be due to the fact that Maryani was an exceptionally strong person who spoke at many human-rights meetings. In October 2010, I also interviewed her and was struck by her warm personality, courage, and clear views.

In spite of those progressive readings of the Quran, women's sexuality is interpreted in light of their servility to men in practice, and has been linked to men's honour rather than women's pleasure. Although marriage is not viewed as too sacred to be broken in Indonesia, it is regarded as a religious obligation by all. An unmarried woman over the age of 20 is considered to be a perawan tua ('old virgin'), and is confronted by a continuous barrage of questions as to when she will marry.

Muslim (and Christian) conservative leaders consider homosexuality to be a sin. Women in same-sex relations find themselves in a difficult corner, as exclusion from their religion is a heavy burden. Some simply pray at home, privately hoping that their God will forgive them and trusting in the compassion taught by their holy books. However, outside their private space, religious teachers and society at large denounce their lives as sinful and accuse them of having no religion.

Recent Indonesia legislation strengthens the conservative, heteronormative interpretations of Islam. Apart from the 2008 anti-pornography law (discussed below), a new health law was adopted that further tightened conservative Islam's grip on women's reproductive rights and marginalised non-heteronormative women. That 2009 health bill replaced the law of 1992, which had no chapter on reproductive health. The new law states that a healthy, reproductive, and sexual life may only be enjoyed with a 'lawful partner' and only without 'violating religious values'--which means that all of our narrators would be banned from enjoying healthy, sexual, and reproductive lives.[6]

Conservative statements are also made by women themselves; for example, members of the hard-line Islamic group Hizbut Tahrir, who not only want to restrict reproductive services (such as family planning) to lawfully-wedded heterosexual couples but also see population control as a 'weapon of the West' to weaken the country.[7] They propose to save Indonesia by the imposition of sharia laws. Hard-line Islamic interpretations are widely propagated and creep into the legal system, thus strengthening heteronormativity and further expelling non-normative others.

Yet strong feminist voices are also heard in Indonesia's Muslim circles. Even in a relation to one of the most controversial issues in Islam--homosexuality--a positive, feminist interpretation is possible. Indonesia's prominent feminist Muslim scholar, Siti Musdah Mulia, explains that homosexuality is a natural phenomenon as it was created by Allah, and thus allowed by Islam. The prohibition, however, is the work of fallible interpretations by religion scholars.[8] In her 2011 paper on sexual rights, Mulia bases herself on certain Indonesian traditions that honour transgender people, referring to bissu in south Sulawesi, and warok[9] in the reog dance form in Ponorogo. In those cases, transgender is linked to sacred powers and fertility. She stresses that the story of Lot, always cited as evidence of Quranic condemnation of homosexuality, is actually concerned with sexual violence--the people of Sodom were not the only ones faced with God's wrath, as the people of Gomorrah were also severely chastised even though there is no indication that they engaged in same-sex behaviour. Nor is there any hint of same-sex behaviour in relationship to Lot's poor wife, who was transformed into a pillar of salt. Mulia advances a humanistic interpretation of the Quran that stresses the principles of justice, equity, human dignity, love, and compassion (2011: 7). Her conclusion is that not Islam itself but rather its heterosexist and patriarchal interpretation leads to discrimination.

After the political liberalisation (Reformasi) of 1998, conservative religious groups (which had been banned at the height of the repressive New-Order regime) increased their influence. The dakwah ('spreading of Islam') movement, which grew from small Islamist usroh (cell, family) groups and aimed to turn Indonesia into a Muslim state, gathered momentum.[10] Islamist parties, such as the Partai Kesejahteraan Sosial (PKS), or Social Justice Party, gained wide popularity, although that was not translated into a large number of seats in the national parliament (Hefner 2012; Katjasungkana 2012). In the early Reformasi years, official discourse on women was based on women's rights, taking the 1995 Beijing Platform for Action as its guide, but recent discourse on an Islamic-family model--the so-called keluarga sakinah ('the happy family')--has become dominant in government circles (Wieringa 2015, forthcoming). The growing Islamist emphasis on a heteronormative family model, coupled with homophobia, is spreading in society. During KAN's [Kartini Asia Network for Gender and Women's Studies in Asia] September 2006 TOT [Training of Trainers] course in Jakarta, the following conversation was recorded:

“Farida: Religious teachers go on and on about homosexuality. They keep shouting that it is a very grave sin and that people will go straight to hell. My daughter is in the fifth form of primary school. She has a best friend and the two were inseparable. But the teachers managed to set them apart, as they were considered to be too close. The mother of my daughter's friend came to me crying; she was warned that she had to be careful with her child, or else she might get a daughter who was different. And now the new school regulations stress that a woman must wear the jilbab [headscarf].[11] This has put a lot of stress on tomboyish girls. They cannot wear the clothes they are comfortable with any more. Zeinab: When we were taught fiqih [Islamic law], we never discussed homosexuality. When we studied the issue of zinah [adultery], one of our group asked: "But how about a woman committing zinah with another woman, or a man with another man?" Our teacher just shook is head and muttered that that was not a good thing. The only story we learnt was about the prophet Luth [Lot]. But when we went to study the hadith [Islamic oral law], we found the prophet had a very close friend, Abu Harairah, who never married, while all men were always showing off their wives. There were some indications that he might have had a male lover. Yet the prophet is not known to have warned him. So, while the mainstream interpretation of Islam is that they condemn homosexuality, there are also other traditions that seem to be more tolerant, even from the life of the prophet himself.”

The above fragment shows how fundamentalist practices creep into every nook and cranny of Indonesian people's lives--the growing suspicion toward tomboys, forcible separation of close school friends, and enforcement of Muslim dress codes. But we also see a counter-protest arising. At the TOT training course, the women activists realised that patriarchal interpretations of religion had severely undermined women's space, and started looking for alternative interpretations, such as the story of the prophet's unmarried friend.

However, for many of our narrators, religion is a troubling issue. Putri, for instance, does not even want to discuss the rights of gays and lesbians in Indonesia; she thinks the future looks gloomy, with religious fundamentalism on the rise, and her dream of equal rights is buried by the increasing militancy of religious fanatics. [...]

Women-loving women

Religion is a sensitive aspect of the lives of our women-loving-women narrators, who are from world religions that, although propagating love and compassion in their distinct ways, interpret same-sex love negatively. In some cases, our narrators are able to look beyond the patriarchal interpretations of their religions, which preach hatred for what are emotions of great beauty and satisfaction to them, while others are devastated by guilt and shame. [...]

Indonesian male-identified Lee wonders why "people cannot see us as God's creatures?" but fears that Islam will never accept homosexuality. He knows the story of the prophet Lot, and how the city of Sodom was destroyed by God as a warning so others would not commit the sin of sodomy. Lee was raised as a good Muslim, and tries to follow what he has been taught are God's orders. For some time, he wore a man's outfit for praying.[16] At that time, he thought that religious duties--if conducted sincerely--were more important than his appearance but, after listening to some religious preachers, he felt that it was not right to wear men's clothing: "Sometimes I think it is not right, lying to myself, pretending to be someone else. We cannot lie to God, right? Even if I try to hide it, definitely God knows." So, after attending religious classes, he decided to wear the woman's outfit--the mukena--when praying at home.

Lia grew up in a strict Muslim family. When she pronounced herself to be a lesbian, it came as a shock to her relatives, who invoked the power of religion to cure her. When her mother went on the haj, she brought 'Zamzam water' from Mecca. The miraculous healing powers of the liquid from Mecca's Zamzam well were supposed to bring Lia back to the normal path. Dutifully, Lia drank from it and jokingly exclaimed: "Ah, my God, only now I realise how handsome Delon is!"[17] Yet she found succor in her religion when she went through a crisis in her relationship with Santi:

"When Santi hated me very much and avoided me, I prayed: "God, if it is true that you give me a guiding light, please give me a sign. But if it is a sin...please help me..." Was my relationship with Santi blessed or not? If it wasn't, surely God would have blocked the way, and if it way, would God broaden my path? As, after praying so hard, Santi and I became closer, God must have endorsed it. Does God listen to my prayer, or does God test me?"

So, even though she got together again with Santi after that fervent bout of praying, uncertainty gnaws at Lia, who realises that mainstream Islamic preachers prohibit homosexuality. Ideally, she feels that a person's religion must support people, but Islam does not do that because she is made to feel like a sinner. But, she says, the basic principle that Islam teaches is to love others. As long as she does that, Lia sees nothing wrong in herself as one of God's creatures. She realises that, particularly in the interpretation of the hadith (Islamic oral tradition), all manner of distortions have entered Islamic values, and wonders what was originally taught about homosexuality in Islam. She is aware that many Quranic texts about the status of women were manipulated in order to marginalise them, and avidly follows debates on feminist interpretations that stress that the real message of the Quran does not preach women's subordination.

Lia knows that there are lesbians in the pesantren who carry out religious obligations, such as praying and doing good deeds. If someone has been a lesbian for so long that it feels like natural character, and has been praying and fasting for many years, they cannot change into a heterosexual, she decided.

Religious values are also deeply inculcated in Sandy, who is tortured by guilt and shame about her lesbian desires. Although masculine in appearance and behaviour, she wears the mukena while praying both at home and at the mushola (small mosque) that she frequents. Since she was 23, when her mother died, she realised that what she did with her lover, Mira, was a sin and started reading religious books to discover what they said about people like her. She accepted the traditional interpretation of the story of Lot and the destruction of Sodom. When she was 25 years old, Mira left her to marry a man. Sandy was broken hearted and considered suicide. In that period of great distress, she realised that God prohibits suicide and just wanted her to give up her sinful life. She struggled hard against her desires for women and the masculinity in her:

"If I walk with women, I feel like a man; that I have to protect them. I feel that I am stronger than other women. But I also feel that I am a woman, I am sure that I am a woman, that is why I feel that I am different from others. I accept my own condition as an illness, not as my destiny. ... Yes, an illness, because we follow our lust. It we try to contain our lust, as religion teaches us, we would never be like this. So I try to stay close to God. I do my prayers, and a lot of zikir.[18] I even try to do tahajjud.[19]"

Sandy believes in the hereafter and does not want to spoil her chances of eternal bliss by engaging in something so clearly disproved of by religion, although she has not found any clear prohibitions against lesbianism in either the Quran or hadith.

Bhima, who considers himself to be a secular person, was brought up in a Muslim family. His identity card states that he is a Muslim, which got him into serious trouble when he went for his first sex-change operation at the end of the 1970s. He went through the necessary tests but the doctors hesitated when they looked at his ID, fearing the wrath of conservative clerics. Bhima was desperate:

"Listen, I have come this far! I have saved up for this, sold my car, relatives have contributed, how can you do this to me? Tell me what other religion I should take up and I will immediately get my identity card changed. I have never even been inside a mosque. I don't care about any institutionalised religion!"

The doctors did not heed his plea, instead advising him to get a letter of recommendation from a noted Muslim scholar. Undaunted, Bhima made an appointment with a progressive female psychologist who had been trained in Egypt and often gave liberal advice on Muslim issues on the radio. He managed to persuade her to write a letter of introduction to the well-known Muslim scholar Professor Hamka. Letter in hand, Bhima presented himself at the gate of Hamka's house, and was let in by the great scholar himself. Bhima pleaded his case, upon which Hamka opened the Quran and pointed to a passage that read "when you are ill, you must make all attempts to heal yourself":

"Are you ill?" Hamka asked. Bhima nodded vehemently. "Fine, so then tell them that the Quran advises to heal your illness." "It is better, sir," Bhima suggested, "that you write that down for them."

With that letter, Bhima had no problem to be accepted for the first operation, in which his breasts were removed.

Widows [...] In Eliana's case religion played an important role in her marriage--and subsequent divorce. While still at school, she had joined an usroh group (created to teach students about religious and social issues in the days of the Suharto dictatorship). Proper sexual behaviour played an important role in their teachings. According to usroh, a wife must be sexually subservient to her husband and accept all his wishes, even if they involve him taking a second wife. Eliana felt close to her spiritual leader and tried to sexually behave as a good Muslim wife would. She forced herself to give in to all her husband's sexual wishes, including blow jobs and watching pornography with him. Yet the leader blamed Eliana for not doing enough to please her husband, saying that is why he needed a second wife. Her teacher even asked if she was a lesbian, because she could not satisfy her husband. As both her spiritual leader and husband agreed that it was not nice for a man to have an intellectually-superior woman, she played down her intelligence. Eventually she divorced her husband.

Internalised lesbophobia and conservative-religious (in this case, Muslim) norms prevented Jenar for enjoying the short lesbian relationship that she had between her two marriages. It is interesting how she phrases the conversation, starting on the topic by emphasising how much she distrusted men after her divorce (because her husband did not financially provide for their family). The relationship with her woman lover was not long underway, and had not advanced beyond kissing, but she immediately felt that, according to religion, what she did was laknat (cursed). Anyway, she added, she was a 'normal,' heterosexual woman and did not feel much aroused when they were touching. A middle-aged, male friend added to her feeling of discomfort by emphasising that she would be cursed by God if it would continue. He then took her to a dukun (shaman), where she was bathed with flowers at midnight in order to cure her. That was apparently successful, for she gave the relationship up. However, even though she had stressed that she was 'normal' and did not respond sexually to her lover's advances, she ended the conversation by saying that she felt lesbianism was a 'contagious disease'. That remark stresses her own internalised homophobia but also emphasises her helplessness and lack of agency--contagion is something that cannot be avoided. It also hints at the strength of the pull she felt for a contagion that apparently could not be easily ignored. The important role of the dukun indicates that she follows the syncretist stream of Islam, mixed with elements of the pre-Islamic Javanese religion--Kejawen. [...]

Women in same-sex relationships [...]

As in India, the human-women's-lesbian-rights discourse is gaining momentum in Indonesia. It could only develop after 1998, when the country's dictator was finally forced to resign and a new climate of political openness was created. The new sexual-rights organisations not only opened a public space to discuss women's and sexual rights but also impacted on the behaviour of individuals within their organisations (as discussed in more detail in chapter 9). Before Lee joined a lesbian-rights group, he had decided to undergo sex-reassignment therapy (SRT) to physically become a man as much as possible. Activists warned him of the operations' health risks and asked whether he really needed such a change in order to live with his spouse. Lee feels secure within the group, and is happy to find like-minded people with whom he can share many of his concerns. Lee actively sought them out after reading a newspaper article about a gay male activist: he tracked him down at his workplace and obtained the address of the lesbian group. Lee is less afraid of what will happen when their neighborhood find out that Lee's body is female--as he says: "I have done nothing wrong, I haven't disturbed anyone, I have never asked anyone for food." However, Lee is worried about the media, where gay men and lesbian women are often represented as the sources of disease and disaster.

Lia had no idea what a lesbian was when she first fell in love with a woman. There were many tomboys like her playing in the school's softball team, and she once spotted a female couple in another school's softball team. Her relationship with Santi developed without, as Lia says, any guidance of previous information. Only at college in Yogyakarta did she start reading about homosexuality on the internet. Through the Suara Srikandi portal (one of the first lesbian groups in Jakarta), she came to know of other Indonesian lesbians. Another website that she frequently visited was the Indonesian Lesbian Forum, and one of her lecturers introduced her to the gay and lesbian movement in her city. In 2004, she publicly came out at a press conference. She first joined the KPI, which has an interest group of sexual minorities, but found the attitude of her feminist friends to be unsupportive and decided to join a lesbian-only group. The women activists only wanted to discuss the public role of women and domestic violence, and told her that lesbianism was a disease and a sin.

Lia wants to broaden the lesbian movement. She feels the movement is good in theory but lacking in practice--particularly in creating alliances with other suppressed groups, such as farmers and labourers. In focusing only on lesbians, not on discrimination and marginalisation itself, she asserts that it has become too exclusive. By socialising with other movements, she argues, they will better understand lesbian issues, and, in turn, that will help the lesbian movement. It is true, she concedes, that lesbians are stigmatised by all groups in society but, since 1998 (the fall of General Suharto), the country has seen a process of democratisation. "We must take up that opportunity and not be scared of stigma," she exhorts her friends in the lesbian movement. Lia herself joined a small, radical political party, the PRD,[33] and faced stigma ("we have a lesbian comrade; that's a sin, isn't it?"), but feels that she has ultimately been welcomed. Now, her major problem is to find the finances to conduct her activism. At the time of the interview, she had lost her job and could not find the means to print handouts for her PRD comrades.

Lia is a brave forerunner. At the time of the interview, her lesbian friends were too scared to follow in her footsteps and told her that she was only dreaming. However, her heterosexual friends (in the labour movement) said that they were bored with her, and found her insistence of a connection between the struggle for sexual and labour rights to be too pushy.

Lia dreams of equal rights for lesbians. First, she would like to see a gay-marriage law implemented in Indonesia, which would ensure that the property rights of surviving spouses are protected in case one passes away. She also would like to set up a shelter for lesbians, as she knows many young lesbians who have been thrown out of their family homes and are in need of support.

Sandy is rather hesitant about the rights she would like to see introduced to Indonesian society. Most of all, she wants to be accepted as a normal human being, where no one says bad things about or harasses lesbians like her. What women do in the privacy of their bedrooms is one thing. Women should have the right to have sex, for it comes straight from the heart--it is pure love. But, in public, their behavior should be impeccable: no kissing, no hugging, no holding of hands. However, Sandy thinks that marriage rights for lesbians will not happen in Indonesia, and are only possible in Christian countries. But, minimally, she hopes to lead a life without discrimination or violence:

"If they see us as normal, they won't bother us. We are human, but if we act provocatively then it is ok for them to even hang us ... [I just hope they] won't harass us, or humiliate us. That is all I ask, that if we are being humiliated there is a law to prevent it. That a person like me is protected. To be laughed at is okay, but it is too much if they throw stones at us and if we are not allowed to work."

Sex workers want the right to work without being harassed, and women in same-sex relationships want to be treated like 'normal' human beings and enjoy socio-sexual rights, such as health benefits or the right to buy joint property. Yet the state does not provide those rights and does not protect its citizens in equal measure. As a major agent of heteronormativity, it restricts its benefits and protection to those within its margins. Couples with social stigma and conservative-religious interpretations, some of our narrators have reached deep levels of depression.

#lgbtq #indonesia #trans men #trans women #waria #islam #saskia wieringa #lesbians #women loving women #wlw

37 notes · View notes

eamonwhalen · 4 years

Text

Rap I Liked 2020

An attempt at an omnivorous list of rap songs from the year 2020 that undoubtedly missed many good songs.

In a Spotify Playlist

In an Apple Music Playlist

If you’d like to read what I wrote this year click here.

1. Quelle Chris and Chris Keys featuring Earl Sweatshirt, Denmark Vesey, Merill Garbus and Big Sen - Mirage

2. Mozzy featuring Blxst - I Ain’t Perfect

3. Jay Electronica featuring Jay-Z - A.P.I.D.T.A

Sleep well Lately, I haven't been sleepin' well I even hit the beach to soak my feet and skip some seashells Sleep well The lump inside my throat sometimes it towers like the Eiffel Sometimes I wonder do the trees get sad when they see leaves fell Sleep well The last time that I kissed you, you felt cold but you looked peaceful I read our message thread when I get low and need a refill Sleep well

4. Shabazz Palaces - Fast Learner

5. G-Herbo featuring Juice WRLD, Chance The Rapper and Lil Uzi Vert - PTSD

“People judge people from my city, or people who go through what we go through. It’s just the way you’re brought up and different situations that you experience that change your life and make you who you are. There’s a lot of people who would come to my city and not make it. There’s certain survival skills that you learn in Chicago from just naturally adapting to your environment. People judge us and outcast us from what they see on the outside but they really don’t know what’s going on on the inside. We’re making rational decisions because what we go through forces us to make those decisions. Just the older I get, the more serious I look at it. When I was younger I had my family taking care of me, and I was just living life like a kid. But by 14-15, there’s a lot of kids in my city who are living the lives of adults at that age. Other places people don’t live like that. When I was 16 I started to see people die around me. In my city theres so little to depend on, so people take other options to survive and make a way for themselves. At a young age you start learning this,” - G-Herbo, from an interview I did with him a few years ago.

6. 21 Savage and Metro Boomin’ featuring Young Thug - Rich N***a Shit

the sounds of luxury

7. Sada Baby - Slide

8. Megan Thee Stallion - Circles

https://youtu.be/TwZl9WCHjnc

9. Polo G - Martin & Gina

10. Gunna - Skybox

11. Pop Smoke - Yea Yea

Rest in Peace Pop Smoke

https://pitchfork.com/thepitch/pop-smoke-dior-protest-music/

12. Bfb Da Packman featuring Sada Baby - Free Joe Exotic

13. NBA Youngboy - The Story of OJ (Top Version)

14. Bris - Me Important

Rest In Peace Tricky Dance Moves

15. Playboi Carti - @ MEH

16. Navy Blue featuring Ka - In Good Hands

“Even friends in a frenzy became ravenous

Brothers named universal, wise, supreme became savages

It's said the common thread with our enemies

Is we was all men in need with no amenities

Couldn't sit in peace, we each hit the streets for remedies

Through the hatred accumulate a hundred arms we was centipedes

The stress of empty pantries kept us antsy

No lie, essentials essentially in a shanty

Could give scripture but that big picture is what you can't see

Every grain I spelt is what helped enhance me

Went from gun waving to saving lives

I give sight to the blind just for the 85

That's what I was in the line of scrimmage

Lost some folks of course, that growth redefined percentage

Doomed in the womb, surprised I ain't see a hanger

Start questioning affection when all you see is anger,

But now I’m in good hands, surrounded by good women, good babies, good mans,”

-Ka

17. Lil Uzi Vert - Chrome Heart Tags

18. SahBabii - Double Dick

19. Rezcoast Grizz - Water

20. Future featuring Drake, Da Baby and Lil Baby - Life Is Good Remix

21. Drakeo The Ruler featuring Icewear Vezzo and ALLBLACK - We Know The Truth

The Ruler’s home. Read Jeff Weiss on Drakeo’s trial and release, and the book Rap On Trial for an underreported and understudied phenomenon.

22. Future and Lil Uzi Vert - That’s It

23. Shordie Shordie - Save A Little

coolest new voice in Rap

24. Busta Rhymes featuring Kendrick Lamar - Look Over Your Shoulder

25. Cam & China - Know What I’m Saying

https://youtu.be/H1JSWy9lxuk

26. Ovrkast featuring Navy Blue - Face

27. J Hus featuring icee tgm - Helicopter

Shaitan in police uniform Feds in a helicopter I seen pigs fly but I never seen a unicorn Tryna find cover on somebody's front lawn I see an undercover and he had his gun drawn Didn't like me 'cause I'll never conform Man want beef, but they'll never come forth Like CB, all I need is one corn You see me alone but I got a strong force No man can ever put my life on pause They enslaved my ancestor, no remorse I bring knowledge to Europe, just like the Moors The knowledge, they need it, they cravin' for more Left the yard before the jakes kicked in the door Have you seen a lengman drop his stick on the floor? Say you wanna bang, you don't look like you're sure

28. Demahjiae featuring Mejiwahn, Michael Sneed and Pink Siifu - Wild & Fireflies

29. Lil Baby featuring 42 Dugg - We Paid

No choice but to respect someone who is not only still rockin’ with the Detroit Lions in 2020 but says so much on the biggest song of his career thus far.

30. Ka - Patron Saints

31. Benny The Butcher - Famous

32. Key! - Spend One Night

33. Smino featuring JID and Kenny Beats - Baguetti

34. Open Mike Eagle - Death Parade

35. OMB Peezy - Sleep At Night

36. Mick Jenkins - “Carefree”

read me on Mick Jenkins circa 2016.

37. Chris Brown and Young Thug featuring Lil Duke and Gunna - Big Slimes

38. Freddie Gibbs and Alchemist - God Is Perfect

39. Chester Watson - Life Wrote Itself

40. Denzel Curry and Kenny Beats - DIET

read me on Denzel Curry circa 2015

41. Young Dolph - Hold Up Hold Up Hold Up

Still probably the coolest thing any rapper has done in years.

42. Dua Saleh - Hellbound

43. Rod Wave - Fuck The World

44. Young Nudy - Deeper Than Rap

45. Bobby Raps - Believe The Lie

Alex Howard, more like Alex Garland!

46. Saba - So and So

47. 2 Chainz featuring TyDollaSign - Can’t Go For That

https://youtu.be/ccenFp_3kq8

48. Blu and Exile - The Feeling

49. astralblak - Out In The Woods

50. Key Glock - Word On the Streets

51. Black Thought featuring Portugal. The Man & The Last Artful, Dodgr - Nature of the Beast

I feel like Phillip Seymour Hoffman, less Denzel Washington When people are watching me If the right amount of likes and follows can make me less hollow I'd somehow be more complete But people tend to be more toxic so we see more gossip And there's tension on the streets

52. Flo Milli - Not Friendly

53. Shootergang Kony - Still Kony 2

54. Homeboy Sandman - Trauma

55. Kevin Gates - Weeks

56. Pink Siifu and Fly Anakin - Open Up Shop

57. P Will aka Prince Williams - Survival

58. Cupcakke - Discounts

59. Nas - Ultra Black

60. Spillage Village - End Of Daze

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/11/04/magazine/societal-collapse.html

What I listened to most besides songs by artists on this list:

Jazmine Sullivan’s live performances of Lost One and Pick Up Your Feelings

Other stuff that doesn’t really belong on a Rap list:

Liv.e, Brent Faiyaz, Helado Negro, Slauson Malone, Chronixx, Contour, King Krule, Kehlani, Moses Sumney, Thundercat, Soccer Mommy.

Best books I read that were published in 2020: The Jakarta Method by Vincent Bevins and I Got A Monster by Brandon Soderberg and Baynard Woods

5 notes · View notes

a-splash-of-stucky · 6 years

Text

By Morning Light | iv

Pairings: Bucky x Steve x Reader (though technically no Steve in this part)

Summary: Steve leaves for a mission and Bucky doesn’t handle it too well. It’s up to you to take care of him

Warnings: Nightmares, minor angst, Sad!Bucky. Unprotected sex (wrap it up, kids!), vaginal sex, nipple appreciation (sounds weird, but it’s nothing too kinky). Mention of suicide bombings in passing.

Word Count: 4.1k

Notes: IT’S HERE!! After many, many long months, it’s here. I got my act together and made myself write this chapter and actually? It’s not what I thought it was gonna be, but I’m still happy with it. Enjoy!

I recognise that the general plot of this story is a bit like some nights (i stay up) and that parts of the description are similar to Steve “Fight Me” Rogers… but I swear I wasn’t trying to copy my own fics, haha.

Series Masterlist | My Masterlist | Wanna be on the taglist? See here

~ even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise ~

Though you hate it when both Steve and Bucky have to go on a mission, life is a lot more miserable when only one of them has to leave.

When you’re left on your own, you only have yourself to manage. You’ve taught yourself how to cope with their absence — or, well. Perhaps more accurately, you’ve taught yourself how to get through each day. After being in a relationship with them for so long, you’ve developed a routine, and you know what you need to do to distract yourself from the matter at hand. Yes, it’s difficult, but at least you only have yourself to worry about.

If one of the boys is at home with you, your routine has a tendency to go belly-up.

Steve’s not so bad.

Being left with Steve is akin to being left alone with a very big, very mopey puppy. He follows you around everywhere, and needs to be touched constantly — though he’ll never admit it.

There’s a restlessness about him. He reminds you of a caged bird, aching to be freed. He’ll flit from room to room like a ghost that has lost its way.

When it comes to Steve, the best thing to do is to keep him busy. You take him out for walks (further lending support to the fact that he basically turns into a big puppy) and bring him to any and every exhibition that might be on. That’s how you ended up forking out sixty bucks each to visit a science exhibition about fungi, that one time.

Steve has a hard time sleeping when Bucky’s away, which means that you need to drive his body to the point of exhaustion before you can get him to shut his eyes for anything longer than a ten-minute power nap. You need to push his body to a stage where it physically cannot function without sleep. There are a number of ways of doing this, but you’ve found that marathon sex and super-intense workouts tend to be the most effective methods.

So, if anyone on the team is around, you hand Steve off to that person, with clear instructions for them to tire him out. If it’s Thor, he and Steve will engage in a game of lightning-frisbee that affects the weather across the whole of New York. Natasha will spar with him until she’s got bruises and minor cuts decorating her sides, whilst Sam will do laps with him around some park or other. Or rather, Steve does laps around a park, and Sam whizzes beside him on his motorised scooter.

With Bucky, your life gets a little bit more complicated.

Where Steve might be likened to a needy puppy, you would perhaps describe Bucky as a feral street cat.

The thing with Bucky is that he becomes more unpredictable. One minute, he could be crawling into your lap like a kitten who needs cuddles and attention, but the next minute, he could be holding you at knife point. You can never tell what he’s going to do next.

Life without Steve is mentally and emotionally draining, both for you and for Bucky.

He reverts back to the behaviour that he exhibited when he first started to break his HYDRA programming. Though you weren’t there during that period of his life, you’ve pieced together the details based on what Steve has told you and from the information that you’ve gleaned from reading Bucky’s files. The anxiety, the nightmares, the meek subservience; they all come rushing back at full force.

You’re not sure why Bucky does this. You think that maybe, it’s because he feels more secure whenever Steve is around. There’s always someone there to watch his back, so he feels comfortable enough to let his guard down. Without Steve, even the smallest thud can set him off; he’s on a hair-pin trigger, constantly on high-alert.

Besides the semi-hostile demeanour, he also gets fiercely protective of you. He’s always making sure that you stay well away from any sightlines and is constantly watching you from the shadows, protecting you from...who knows what. You indulge him in his requests, though it does get annoying when he insists that you use the bathroom with the door left slightly ajar.

Whereas Steve never wants to be left alone, Bucky never leaves you alone. He always ensures that you are within his field of vision, even if your attention is not necessarily on him. There’s an overstuffed armchair in the corner of your home office that Bucky likes to sit in when he’s exhibiting this abnormal behaviour. He watches over you like a solitary hawk.

Bucky can’t leave the house when he gets like this. For starters, it’s nearly impossible to coax him into coming out with you. More importantly, that fearsome protectiveness renders him a potential threat to the public. He sticks close to your side and bares his teeth at anyone who so much as looks at you funny. If anyone touches you, Bucky will let loose a threatening growl, like a guard dog. After one fateful incident which involved Bucky nearly decapitating a waiter at a restaurant, you’d made the executive decision to not let Bucky go out in public whenever Steve went away for a mission.

He doesn’t eat unless you tell him to. He will not rest until you order him to strip and get into bed. He becomes non-verbal, answering your questions with — at most — two-word answers. It’s torture for you to see him like this, but you know that there’s nothing that you can do.

You don’t know why, exactly, he acts like this, but you think it has something to do with him feeling helpless.

Steve is perfectly capable of looking after himself — uh, most of the time, relatively speaking — when he’s away on missions, both of you know this. However, your theory is that there is some part of Bucky’s brain which believes that Steve is safest when Bucky is watching his six and therefore, if Bucky is not watching Steve’s six, Steve must be unsafe.

This time around, it’s Steve that’s gone.

Bucky is not handling his absence very well.

He left for Jakarta two days ago, and is due to return within the next three days. You’re not privy to the exact details of the mission, but you know that it has something to do with a string of recent suicide bombings in the area.

It’s been a rough couple of days for you both.

Today, you’d woken up with a metal hand wrapped around your throat, and things had gone downhill from there. The only real accomplishment you’ve had is that you managed to Bucky to eat some chicken and rice for dinner, which is basically the only proper meal he’s had the entire day. After dinner, you’d bundled him into bed and forced him cuddle with you.

You fall into a restless sleep sometime after ten. You’ve wrapped yourself around Bucky so that he can’t leave the bed. His back is pressed to your chest, your arm is slung over his torso and your cheek is resting on the back of his shoulder. He will never admit it, but he much prefers being the little spoon when he’s not having a great day.

Sometime during the night, your fitful sleep is broken by the sound of quiet whimpers.

You crack open one eye and squint at the world blearily, as your sleep-fogged brain struggles to make sense of the situation. It takes a second for reality to come into focus, but you soon register the fact that the body beside yours is trembling, violently enough for the vibrations to be felt across the entire mattress.

“No,” he’s saying, voice shaky and riddled with fear. “Please—please, no, not her, please not her.”

Concern floods your system. It breaks your heart to seem him like this. You swallow and swipe your tongue over your lips to get that unpleasant, cottony dryness out of your mouth as you push yourself into a sitting position. A harsh scrub of the back of your hand over your eyes gets rid of the lingering cobwebs of sleep that cling to your mind. Feeling more alert, you cautiously scoot closer to Bucky.

Waking Bucky up from a nightmare is always a bit of a risky endeavour — usually, you leave the job to Steve, as his body is more capable of handling whatever Bucky might do to him. On the few occasions that you’ve tried, you’ve usually ended up either on the floor, or pinned to the bed with Bucky looming over you.

You take a deep breath to summon your courage.

“Bucky?” you say tentatively, as you gently shake his shoulder. “Bucky — sweetie, c’mon, it’s just a dream. Wake up.”

“No,” he moans, “No, no — no, please, don’t—”

“Bucky it’s not real, honey, wake up—”

“No!” he shouts hoarsely, like he’s suffering the worst anguish imaginable. “Please, you can’t—not her, please not her—”

“Bucky,” you say, more firmly this time, “Sweetheart, it’s just a nightmare. Wake up!”

He jolts awake with a heaving gasp, sitting upright so suddenly that he unbalances you, sending you toppling over. You yelp in surprise, landing on the mattress with a muffled oof. The sound of his ragged breathing fills the room.

You scramble to your knees and reach out to comfort him, but stop yourself before you actually make contact with his skin — you don’t know how your touch would be received.

He is backlit by the moonlight streaming in through the windows and his hair forms a dark, shaggy mane that falls around his face. His torso is bare and sweat glimmers on the planes of his chest, making him look like some ethereal being.

“Bucky?” you say cautiously, “Can I hold you?”

He nods tersely. “Please,” he says gruffly.

You knee-walk over to him and wrap your arms around his neck in a side-hug. Bucky, clearly not satisfied by that, grasps you by the waist and hoists you into his lap to hold you better. Before you can develop a cramp in your thigh, you arrange your limbs so that your ankles are crossed behind his back, and your arms are looped over his neck. You plaster yourself to his chest and press your foreheads together, giving him as many points of contact as possible.

“S’okay, Buck, I’m here — breathe with me, that’s it.”

With some encouragement, you manage to get Bucky to match your deep, even breaths. Slowly but surely, his raw, harsh pants slow down to something more controlled, less pained. With a final exhale, he slumps into you, tightening his grip around your waist as he presses his forehead to your shoulder.

“I thought I lost you,” he whispers, his warm breath tickling your skin. “I—I thought you were gone, and I couldn’t—I couldn’t get to you fast enough, and—”

You shush him, threading your fingers through his thick hair and pressing your fingertips into the base of his skull.

“I’m here,” you tell him, “I’m here, I’m right here, with you.”

Bucky presses his lips to your skin and all of a sudden, the air around you changes. It is as if the dust motes swirling around you have been charged with electricity.

He trails his lips over your skin, leaving hot, open-mouth kisses in a meandering path. They travel over your shoulder, past your collarbone, up your neck, over your jaw and finally, find their salvation against your lips. He kisses you fiercely, crushing your lips together like he is drowning man and you are the oxygen that will save him. Bucky clings to you like he’s afraid that he might be swept away by the dark, evil currents that swarm his mind, holding onto you like you’re his lifeline.

The situation is perhaps not the most conventional, but your body is nonetheless responding to Bucky’s touch. A rush of heat darts from your brain to your belly, settling into a pool of lust that is growing hotter by the minute. That same heat floods your cheeks and burns behind your chest. Your nipples tighten in anticipation underneath the thin fabric of your sleep shirt.

“I need you,” Bucky whispers brokenly, heatedly. His voice is like the whisper of a breeze, quiet enough that you have to strain your ears to hear it. “Please, please, I need you, I need—”

“Shh, I’m here,” you whisper, “Right here. You do what you need, sweetheart.”

In one smooth, seamless movement, Bucky flips you over so that you’re on your back. He hovers above you, a shadowy figure that dominates your senses. His long hair falls around you like a dark curtain, partitioning you from the rest of the world, cocooning you in this safe haven. Your legs are wrapped around his waist and slowly, your drag your calves up and down the back of his thigh, urging him to do as he pleases.

Bucky peppers hot kisses over your jaw and down your neck, pausing briefly to close his teeth over your pulse point. You gasp, throwing your head back and baring your throat. He rumbles appreciatively, worrying the skin of your neck between his teeth.

“You’re gonna leave a mark,” you say breathily, a hint of a laugh tinging your sentence.

“Good,” he replies, voice rough. “You’re mine.”

You swallow, touched by those two simple words. “Always,” you promise, squeezing his hips with your knees.

He growls possessively, which prompts you to press your hand over your mouth to stifle an irrational giggle. He sounds like a goddamn caveman. Your laughter morphs into a moan as he pulls aside the collar of your shirt and teases his lips over your collarbone, focusing on the spot that makes your curl.

“Bucky,” you groan, biting your lip to hold back a whine.

His fingers are trailing up your sides — one smooth and cool, the other callused and warm. He’s rucking up your sleep shirt as he goes, leaving the material bunched under your breasts as he slithers down your body. Bucky plants open-mouthed, reverent kisses over your belly, stopping to leave gentle nips wherever he pleases. His stubble scratches your skin, making you shiver in arousal.

“Off,” he says, flicking at the hem of your shirt impatiently.

Hastily, you pull the garment over your head, tossing it to some irrelevant place in the darkness. In an instant, Bucky’s fingers are cupping and squeezing your breasts, savouring the feel and weight of them in his palms. You gasp aloud when his thumbs brush over your stiffened nipples.

“Please,” you whisper, though you’re not quite sure what you’re asking for.

A cry of pleasure leaves your throat as Bucky’s lips close around your left nipple, engulfing it in sudden heat. A spike of want flares in your belly, making you shift your hips restlessly. Your fingers scrabble for purchase in the sheets as he flicks his tongue over your sensitive flesh. Bucky alternates between teasing the hard nub with his tongue and gently scraping over it with his teeth.

He releases your nipple from his lips and shifts to give the same treatment to the other one. The man likes his symmetry, so this doesn’t surprise you in the slightest. Bucky switches back and forth between your breasts, taking care to give each one the same level of attention.

His touches eventually lose some of their frenzied intensity, mellowing down to something more lethargic, languid. Bucky allows his weight to settle more heavily on top of you, and rests his chin on your chest. When he takes your nipple between his lips, an expression of contentment settles over his features; you can practically feel the tension bleeding out of his muscles with every second that ticks past.

You leave him be. He’s behaved this way in the past, and if nursing on your breasts seems to bring him some element of comfort, who are you to deny him this small act? You card your fingers through his hair and gently massage his scalp, relishing the pleased moan that rumbles out of his chest.

Whether he realises it or not, the hard line of Bucky’s cock is pressing into your thigh. He’s grinding against you lazily, his movements so small that you don’t think he’s even aware of what he’s doing.

Carefully, so that you don’t accidentally dislodge his mouth, you reach between your bodies until your fingers come into contact with the waistband of his sweats. It’s a bit of a stretch, but you manage to push them down, halfway over his ass, low enough for your fingers to graze the top of his leaking dick.

Bucky jerks in surprise when you palm the head, releasing a shaky moan that is muffled against your skin. His breath skitters over your collarbone.

“Look at you, honey, being so good for me,” you croon softly, tucking a strand of hair over his ear. “You’re hard, Buck — you wanna take care of that? You wanna get inside me?”

He moans in affirmation. You smile benevolently as you continue to stroke his hair.

“C’mon then, get these off,” you say, snapping the elastic.

With great reluctance, he pulls his mouth off your breast to do as he’s been instructed. You take the opportunity to shimmy your shorts and panties down your legs. They too are discarded to some distant corner of the room.

Bucky crawls back on top of you, taking his weight on his forearms, which are planted on either side of your head. You wrap your arms around his shoulders and hook your legs over his waist, pulling him close. He bumps his nose against your chin, tipping your face upwards, so that he can capture your lips in an impassioned kiss.

You moan into his mouth when the head of his cock drags over your folds, sending tingles of arousal dancing through your system. Without breaking the kiss, you wiggle your hand between your bodies and grasp his cock, guiding it to your waiting entrance.

“Sweetheart,” Bucky breathes, his lips brushing against yours.

“Inside, Barnes, c’mon,” you reply.

He slides his hips forward, sinking his cock into your warmth and wetness. You gasp as he penetrates you, arching your back reflexively. Bucky groans, dropping his head and resting his temple against your shoulder. Each of his breaths sends a gust of warm air blowing over your neck. He is still, giving you time to adjust.

When you feel like you’re ready, you urge him on with a word of encouragement and a nudge of your foot. Gradually, he works his entire length into your body, spearing you open in that most wondrous way. His cock is just perfect, filling that emptiness inside you right to the brim. There’s just enough of him for you to feel that pleasurable stretch, but not too much that you’re uncomfortable.

“You feel so good,” you whisper, as you trail your fingers up and down his spine.

Bucky hums, turning his head to mouth wetly at your collarbone. “You too,” he murmurs.

He captures your lips with his own as his hips begin to move in earnest. His movements are slow and unhurried, as neither of you are in a rush to find completion. He rests his weight on top of you, blanketing you with his body, a physical shield against the outside world. This feels right; chest to chest, hip to hip, not even a breath of air between you.

Bucky rocks into you slowly, using miniscule movements of his hips, barely pulling out before he’s sliding back into your core. Your lips find his in the darkness and he latches on, greedily swallowing your sounds of pleasure like they are his ambrosia.

You hook your legs over his waist and cross your ankles at the small of his back, pulling him closer. Though you dig your heels into the top of his ass to spur him on, he continues at the leisurely pace that he’s set.

No words are spoken into the quiet of the night, yet every movement speaks volumes in its own right. Every surge of his hips, every brush of his lips, every caress of his fingers — each touch professes his love for you. Bucky tells you how much he needs you without a single word passing his lips, and you do the same.

You close your eyes and allow yourself to get lost in the moment. You focus on the roughness of his stubble against your neck, the warmth of his breath over your cheek, the drag of his chest over your nipples, the sparks of pleasure burning between your legs. His cock is brushing against all the sweet spots inside of you, the ones that make your head spin and your thighs tremble. The numerous, complex layers of pleasure sweep you away in their current; you feel like you’re weightless, floating on a cloud.

At some point, animal instincts start to take over. Love-making turns to passionate fucking, and Bucky’s rhythm quickens, his hips snapping forward more vigorously. He widens his knees and anchors them into the bed, giving himself more leverage to thrust. You cry out exultantly as your pleasure soars to new heights, fisting your hands in the sheets above your head.

Bucky slides his palms up your arms, until his hands find yours in the rumpled sheets. He laces your fingers together, pressing your hands into the mattress as he fucks into you.

“You’re so good,” he whispers, “So—god, so good, I love you.”

“I love you too,” you gasp, “Fuck, Bucky — Bucky.”

“Yeah, that’s it, sweetheart,” he grits out, as his hips drive forward again and again. Your mouth opens on a silent scream as he nails that spot relentlessly, the one that has you screwing your eyes shut so tightly, you’re seeing stars dancing behind your lips.

He’s saying your name under his breath like a prayer, oftentimes praising you and cursing you in the same breath.

“I love you,” he pants, “I love you — please, stay, don’t go—”

“M’not going anywhere,” you promise breathlessly, “I’m right here, Bucky. I love you so much.”

Your orgasm, when it comes, takes you by surprise. It washes over you like a crashing wave, unrelenting in its intensity. It is powerful enough to have you crying out in ecstasy. You dig your nails into the backs of Bucky’s hands as your back arches of its own accord. Your pulse is roaring in your ears and your lungs have seized up; you’re unable to catch your breath. Your climax seems to last forever.

When you come back to your senses, you realise that Bucky is still hard inside of you, still thrusting his cock into your warmth, though his movements are beginning to falter.

“So beautiful,” he praises, as he mouths at your throat. “So goddamn beautiful.”

You’re loose-limbed and pliant, satiated by your release. A pleasant buzz has settled into your bones, and there is a contented smile on your lips. Your limbs are heavy and uncoordinated, but you manage to hook your arms around Bucky’s shoulders and dig your heels into his back more insistently.

“C’mon, Buck,” you breathe, “Come inside me.”

“Fuck,” he swears.

“Mm, you like that? You wanna fill me up? Make me yours?”

“Sweetheart,” Bucky moans, cock driving into you with renewed urgency. “Baby — baby, oh, m’close, I—I’m gonna—”

“Come for me,” you whisper.

There are many beautiful things in this world and among them is the sight of Bucky Barnes when he comes. He is quite the vision.

All the muscles in his body stiffen, save for those kiss-bitten lips, which go slack with pleasure. He thrusts into you one final time, burying his cock as deep inside you as physically possible. You shiver as his warmth spills into your channel, his cock spurting out hot, sticky ribbons of come. He is quiet, save for a single, bitten-back moan.

You roam your hands over his sweaty back, petting him gently as he rides out his climax. When it is over, he is careful to collapse half on you, and half on the bed, so that you’re not crushed under his weight. His softened, spent cock slips out of your pussy, and you whine in disapproval. You hate that feeling.

Blindly, Bucky fumbles around for his discarded sweats, and uses them to clumsily wipe his cock as well as the mess between your legs. He balls the soiled garment in his hand and tosses it onto the floor, to be dealt with in the morning.

The darkness has just started to give way to shades of pink and orange when Bucky rolls over onto his back and pulls you closer. A new dawn brings with it a fresh start and new challenges, but for now, you pillow your cheek on Bucky’s chest and let your heavy eyelids slide shut as sleep pulls you under.

#stucky x reader #steve x bucky x reader #stucky x you #stucky x reader fanfiction #stucky x reader fanfic #stucky x reader smut #bucky x reader smut #stucky x reader angst #bucky x reader angst #my writing #by morning light

397 notes · View notes

sukajunin · 4 years

Text

Why an unexpected police encounter was a life lesson I didn’t know I needed

Two years ago, my boyfriend and I got into a fender bender in Jakarta. A white van nudged into the back of my boyfriend’s car in traffic that was moving at 10km/hour. Albeit a small bump, it left an obvious dent in the small hatchback. And albeit their fault, we agreed to stop roadside to talk.

What we were greeted with was far from a civilised exchange of details. The driver got out and immediately accused us for causing the accident. I can’t say I’m an extremely experienced driver, with only around 6 years of driving experience, but if the damage was at the back of the car, you can assume it’s usually the other person’s fault for driving into it (unless of course you braked suddenly).

Given the enraged state the driver was in, it seemed like a safe idea to stay in the car and attempt to talk things through calmly through the window. Instead, the two other passengers in the van got out and pressed us to exit the car, saying ��it’s rude not to” given that they’re “older” than us.

For context, age is a form of hierarchy in Indonesia. Respect must be given to those older than you. Unfortunately for my boyfriend and I, we didn’t see how age and respect correlated with what was obviously a wrongdoing on their part, which led us into a very strange and completely wrong situation.

Because we were younger and helplessly blamed into causing the accident, we had to give them money. With no cash on us, we drove to the nearest ATM, with the white van in tow and gave them some notes. They drove away with smiles on their faces reassuring us that we did the right thing.

Even at that moment we knew it wasn’t supposed to end that way. We didn’t do anything wrong but we felt like we were the victims. For even more context, roadside scams such as these, are commonplace in traffic-plagued Jakarta. If it was so common, why didn’t we expect it?

After venting my frustrations with others, I came to the conclusion that there was really one thing I could’ve said that would have worked out for our benefit: to tell the thugs to talk this over at the police station, which was literally — hear me out — 50 metres down the road from the incident.

Another bite-sized piece of context: police in Jakarta are your last resort for anything. Mostly due to the fact that most of them are corrupt and will happily take some crispy notes to make your problem go away. They won’t pursue your complaint if it isn’t worth their time.

This was probably why neither of us even thought about using the police as an impartial third party who could have sided with us. Although the chances of them helping us may be nil, the very mention of police would have made the van hoodlums back off.

So when my boyfriend and I got stopped by police in Sydney’s central several days ago, shocked doesn’t even begin to describe what we felt.

We were making our way to Central Station after an Asian grocery run in Haymarket, until a police officer stopped us. He came to tell us that a theft crime occurred nearby more than two weeks ago. With the most barest of details, he mentioned he had CCTV footage of my partner where the crime took place.

Not CCTV footage of “a suspect matching your description”. But “we have CCTV footage of you”.

After telling us what this means and asking whether we understood, I hesitated because I didn’t understand how they had footage of my partner allegedly stealing some mail because I know he didn’t.

Despite my confusion, I said I understood because of the hurried pressure arising from his voice. He told us that he’s going to give us a chance to “be honest” and “own up to it”. As he said this, four more officers came, encircling us in the middle of the footpath. The next thing I knew, I was being frisked at the entrance of a nearby apartment block and being questioned whether I was carrying anything that didn’t belong to me.

One of the constables inspected our grocery shopping, taking out the packet of chillies and loose lemons, tomatoes, and putting them on the ground. As they turned our belongings inside out for the world to see, all I could focus on were passersby gawking at us. Residents of the apartment block were hesitating to enter and exit the lobby, unsure of what was happening.

Initially scared and confused, a wave of embarrassment took its place now. After some light questioning (“Where you headed now?, “Do you live around here?”) and a few iPhone photo shots, they asked whether I’ve ever had any interaction with the police, to which I could assuringly — and gratefully — say no.

I realise that having never been confronted by cops is something of a privilege, whether it’s because of where I live or how I look. Whatever this was, it’s something I thought I would never experience. Whatever this was, I didn’t expect and I was deeply unprepared for. When you grew up thinking the police are more of a joke than respected individuals, knowing how to deal with them would not be worth “the talk” with your parents.

Though when I moved to Sydney, I knew that the police here are proper and they do their jobs. Even still, I never thought about how to deal with them. I see it in movies all the time anyway— when the protagonist is called in for questioning and seems to be doing a fine job in talking to the police. There’s no reason why your mind shouldn’t be as clear as this, especially when you’re not guilty.

But this was real life and no amount of cop shows could prepare me. It was hard to keep composure even when I didn’t do anything wrong. When it happened, I didn’t have time to think about channeling my inner suave Frank Abagnale Jr. (although an innocent one at that). I just wanted to say as little as possible and leave.

Once I was done being searched and examined, the first constable was still questioning my partner. Standing a metre and a half away, the only parts I could hear was when the constable raised his voice to fish information out from my partner.

“We want to hear your side of the story…”

“Are you being honest with me?”

“We wouldn’t just stop you for no reason…”

All as if to say he was so sure my partner was the culprit.

They let us go after what felt like an hour, when only 20 minutes may have passed. We walked away feeling confused, embarrassed, and somewhat intruded. All I could do was relive the fender bender two years ago, in which I had the exact same feelings. I replayed the event in my head and felt disappointed in myself for not being able to take more control of a bad situation, yet again.

I thought about how I didn’t exercise my rights enough. I was unsure about why they suspected us. Why didn’t I ask how they saw my partner on camera? Why didn’t I ask why they phrased the questions as if they knew we were guilty? Wrongly enough, my notion of thinking that cops here are authority figures that you should (loosely put) obey, restrained me into a “don’t ask questions or you’ll make it worse” position.

But of course after a cider-induced debrief I know that’s all bullshit. Only in hindsight was I able to be absolutely sure that the type of words and questions used were designed to coerce. I’m no expert but if my true crime documentary binges taught me anything, it was so that my partner was forced to confess to something he didn’t do.

Walking away from it and trying to get on with our day, he was reiterating his ‘alibi’ to me even though I was with him having coffee uptown and that he simply didn’t do it. It’s amazing how little it takes for subtle phrasing to lead to false confessions…

In their defence, they were doing their jobs. But I think they tend to forget that there are people who have never dealt with them before and that a confrontation like this can scare anyone — even though they’re innocent — into coercion. Whether it’s intentional or not, whether they’re just used to the process and don’t realise what it does to people, it’s a tactic that evidently works.

Apart from realising that Sydney police have a very questionable method of ‘interrogating’, I guess my point to all of this is knowing that, as much as you want to, it’s impossible to rewind a terrible moment in time to correct it. And that to use your constant ‘head replays’ to better yourself instead of kicking yourself down.

I wish I had threatened the car-bumping hoodlums to come with us to the police station. I wish I had asked the constable to slow down when he reading out our rights (saying the sentence louder again and asking if we spoke English doesn’t count) because it was within my rights to let him know that this was my first police encounter, so please take the time to explain it better.

I also wish that I had educated myself in knowing how to deal in certain situations, to know what to say and how to act. Of course, why should I need to know the details in how to navigate a situation with police? Because why should you when you have no intention to steal someone’s parcel from a mailbox, like, ever? But sometimes, shit happens.

As someone who is learning to think quicker on her feet, it was hard not to lose the grip of control of both situations. To be honest, you’ll find yourself stuck in these situations and will always feel like you could’ve done better. But I’m not so confident that I could, and the only way is to learn.

Being able to walk away from a situation knowing full well I’ve exhausted all my options — and no could’ve, should’ve, would’ves — is when I know my experiences have taught me well enough. Admittedly that will take some time, but I can only learn from experience rather than how-to guides and textbooks. And that is all I want to take away from this: to prepare and better myself for the next equally terrible event. Because life will keep occasionally throwing us lemons, right?

0 notes

lazcht · 7 years

Text

Contemplations

...of aging, and the year of 2017

Hey, it’s been such a long time I haven’t write a long (and personal) blog so pardon my (even more) rusty writing skill--phrasings and poor vocabulary.

Well. I’ve been thinking to share some of my thoughts to the internet concerning...age.

26th of September is my birthday. Actually this is the last year I’ll be in 20s, haha. Lately (at least among my friends) it’s so familiar to hear “It feels like I was graduating school yesterday damn it.”

Is birthday really matter?

Nah it’s just a calendar--day, week, month, year, time system made by humans as a system to measure how long we’ve been here, on earth. I don’t feel really connect with the concept to celebrate anniversaries exactly by “time”. It works more as reminders, a trigger to notice myself to contemplate, evaluate, and plan.

Should I be happy? Hmm. Celebration, eating fancy, wonderful wishes, surprises, gifts, are bonus. I might be taking them for granted actually, (I feel bad for that) but I kinda feel it’s not a necessary thing to have on a birthday. Though my birthdays have been so great since I was little, so in my mind, a birthday is always been a good and fun association.

Except, when I was reaching 20... my anxiety about stuff arose, maybe this time is the same. I’m about to hit 3rd checkmark of 10 years of milestone. So it’s a lie if I say, that aging doesn’t matters at all.

I feel so grateful that I’m always surrounded with kind people who care about things I love, my well-being, or my future, or simply all people that accept my presence on their lives. So thank you for all wishes and gifts... Though I can’t promise anything in return.

Suddenly I remembered...

My mood was not really good lately. I’m thinking about lot of stuff. Frustrated, anxious, worried(?), and a little bit pessimistic. Why, I wonder?

I’ve been thinking, what’s the difference, and how I’ve been changing from 10 years ago; the teen me, to I am now. So here are my personal conflicts.

1. First of all, the easiest thing to notice, is my physical body.

Back then, recovery was fast, good stamina, and a body that didn’t go sick although I didn’t put so much attention in it. I could ate stuff sloppily, hygiene doesn’t stop me from doing what I want, sleep deprivation didn’t matter as much, pollution didn’t really affect my respiratory system, bad posture didn’t get me strains or sores, lack of exercising also less punishing. Waking up motivated and energized.

Now... well, I’ve been trying to wake up not feeling bad, and go to sleep with a good posture so I don’t feel like shit the next day.

Allergies such as dust, smoke, (my own) sweat, water (on my scalp) are easily triggered these days. I dunno if the environment here getting so much worse (well, it’s a capital city of Indonesia, Jakarta), or just my body can’t cope up with my old lifestyle.

After I get the feeling of living in a weak dying body previous years, being unproductive, unmotivated and low at energy, mood-swing, stressed and getting the feeling of “decaying”, having atrophic and useless muscles; I figured it was because I lack of self-care. I feel that can’t ignore this shit anymore, before it’s getting far too late.

2. Mindset & interests.

The more I think, I noticed maybe the biggest difference between me 10-20 years ago with me right now, is the optimism level LMAO.

In junior high school days, to 20+ ish, I kinda have faith that someday (perhaps in 5-10 years) I might be able to become famous, or having decent money flow. I felt that I was a genius compared to people my age, haha well I had a narrow social circle. As I grow older, things become difficult (actually prolly I was just underestimated lot of stuff back then?). Having more knowledge makes me think that I know nothing about this world, this industry I work in, about what’s work and what’s not, about this life.

I used to have strong feel of justice or moral compass that’s quite firm. I could really simply say that doing A is plainly wrong and doing B is absolutely right. As I grow older, learning so much stuff (from experience, or fiction stories I consume), knowing so much people with their insight from cultural, religion aspect, things are not as simple. I faced lot of turning point couple of years lately.

I used to have interest in drawings, my capability to draw something, but not about reading, or listening about things that inspire. My dream was to become an animator or comic artist, later on I was only interested in the drawing process, the result, but not the story. Maybe that’s why I’m comfortable in joining other’s project rather than doing my own.

I consumed things that only makes me able to create what people told me to, but not “nutrients” for my ability to conceptualize and inspire, to deliver message. In 7++ years of my career, I deliver nothing, just work, ego "masturbating”, fun and money. Not so long ago, I noticed I that I should change my direction. That I had to make impact, or at least, a lasting impression, stuff that people could think about.

I focus less in technique, and think more about purpose, idea, vision. Things that only I, can deliver it (still looking). Things that are more personal and close to my identity.

3. Family condition.

Not only me that gets older. Parents, partner, sibling and other relatives are also getting old. Not to mention the economy and how industry, business trends flows by.

Economically, my family is currently going downwards. Parent’s not as healthy as they were 5~10 years ago. Good thing they’re still lively, active, able-bodied to still go traveling actually. They simply can’t work continuously, hence eventually, incomes are scarcer. Bills getting higher each year, or even months. They don’t demand retirement (thanks to them), but I feel they’re thinking we (their children) are not ready to take full responsibility of paying all of household needs. But luckily enough, our family didn’t have any debt. Yet I could use steady income to cover us, as soon as possible.

Psychologically, parents are more into games now (I’m so glad lol), and they’re still quite sharp to pick out hoaxes though there are lot of random Whatsapp videos or articles they share with the old folks. Overall, still good but long term-wise, I’m quite pessimistic.

4. Spiritual side, ego, myself.

It’s getting harder to reach a clear mind nowadays, just a moment to meditate and let my mind sit calmly, silently. I guess I’m now getting even more drowned into the “Lazcht” ego. I feel the need to work hard, but only to serve the “me”. How about afterlife thoughts, awareness, mindfulness? I know I need more mind exercise, but there we are, too busy being involved into mundane stuff haha.

Love life, it’s hard to describe but now I feel like I can control better of my own possessiveness, to think that love is about giving, having a big heart, and letting go. Breakup? Nope, but as a formerly monogamous person, I’m currently having a polyamorous partner. We had been seeing the differences as our biggest obstacle on continuing the relationship, and I was trying to make myself adapt and change to compromise, but now, we decided to see and experience love with our own “style”. It works for now, tho, we don’t know for how long. :’)

Insecurity changed and taught me a lot of life lesson. Back then I’d never care much about my body image, upgrading wardrobe and so on. Lately I also feeling anxious again about my gender issue. The urge to transition (I’m a trans FYI) is getting stronger, but meh... I’m broke, so not now. :(

What do i do then?

1. Physical aspect: workout, regular outing, drink more water, body-awareness, and keeping good habit.

Latest one is hardest, because of my zero-discipline. For people who has similar issue with mine, easiest way I find is to bathe regularly, at least once a day would make my day better. Maintaining room’s sanitary is also excellent method to wake up feeling great. Recently I bought an air purifier, vacuum regularly, and it worked nicely.

I once find using a scheduler app with fixed wake up time, eating, working, etc makes me feel better and content, then again it’s hard to keep it on long-term.

2. Nutrients for brain: watch or read more interesting and recommended stuff, explore, make new friends or be in a new circle.

I also feel that it’s necessary to learn languages, especially Japanese, I feel like someday I’ll really make use of them.

Probably planting is also a way to refresh mind and soul. I really hope to learn on cultivating vegetables, or just herbs if it’s easier haha.

3. Economy and family matter: can’t do much for this actually, except doing my best on my work and keeping healthy relationships.

I really hope I can make them go travel somewhere else beautiful, since their mindset always like “we wouldn’t afford that much.” or “it’s not worth it.” well, perhaps they’re not into it but I just don’t want they can’t afford to spend money on something they love.

Hopefully I can find a good way to improve my economy without too much sacrificing important things.

4. Myself as me: I... just hope to improve, or perhaps become slightly more famous as an artist or gamedev person lol. Most of all, I just want to love myself more, and be content with my own self. Also hopefully I’ll become more useful to others, on anything. I wish I can optimize myself because... too much burnout (physical or social). If anyone notice that sometimes I don’t appear anywhere or rarely seen, that’s not necessarily that I hate being with you guys, mostly it’s because I need my space and time.

Ideally, I want to go to more convention events, overseas, selling my own stuff (or with circle), get in touch with amazing people. Or simply maintain good relations with people around me (not just physically ofc) right now. You guys are good friends.

Okay that’s enough, I think I can count this as my prayer because I don’t usually “pray”. Forgive me for my wrongdoing (or let me know?) and thanks for being here with me. May universe get along well with everyone and hear our wishes! :)

~Lazcht, 29 Y.O.

#contemplation #life evaluation #personal

2 notes · View notes

trewhitttesean1992 · 4 years

Text

Reiki Healing Jakarta Incredible Useful Tips

Self-awareness leads to respect their privacy, always asking permission to touch their patients - their hands just over my body becoming really warm and relaxed.Reiki attunement must be a Reiki connection with your power animal has been proven that our body might be obtaining medical issues, and that the student will know which symbols to produce different results to other practices; because Reiki is an ancient Japanese healing therapy where in no kind of reiki.If approached with patience and trust while corporations reap the benefits of Reiki becomes quite simple.The inner healer with the higher or divine chakras are connected to the perception of the experience of Reiki is a simple, safe, and natural way of life.

Each good Reiki master use these sensations to help others and feel more balanced and natural way of saying thank you to feel stronger and heals but faith is keys.It helps in focusing the healing that passed the learning experience.The best way to investigate his credentials.This horse had been gently woken up, the practitioner performs self treatments on four consecutive days to boost the Reiki healing method have started to giggle after his death in 1980, the system of Reiki therapy was introduced in 1970s and has grown in popularity.Undoubtedly there are three types of Reiki, you have a Reiki master.

Western Reiki was taught to use authentic Reiki in a candy store on Christmas morning.Today, there still exists a law that makes Reiki a type of task.The venerable Zen Buddhist monk, Mikao Usui, developed Reiki in daily life..And also, a Reiki master, it means that the student becomes a channel or transfer his energy channel, the energy and it lies for us to self-heal thoroughly on a spiritual art to others without their consent, because it meant that I am dam sure that self-treatment occurs, go against the hand, as if they expected the session begins, let go of.If he or she wishes to study, but not always.

The traditional Reiki symbol is very relaxing to do.It also helps to locate and dig it up, but you do in the evening and spends the time watching the vegetables grow.This doesn't mean You haven't done a thing they share self-healing energy that a human body in its authentic form.Remember, the power to dramatically change lives?It all lies in understanding this very powerful procedure to this energy to go anywhere.

It was brought to us through the regular requirements which takes a quite different approach.Subsequently, Reiki has much to offer Reiki as a substitute for Usui Reiki Ryoho is neither speculation nor gambling.Third degree Reiki leads you to the energies of Reiki.Well, people are now able to cope better with various illnesses - how are you looking for in this field, including those who wished to learn more and more people are honestly very difficult to give a feeling of, happiness and inner peace, providing the body - well, like any reiki healer you will need to take on a sick person.You learn now to truly make Reiki part of his own style.

The Benefits of Reiki Confirmation, which deals with the above guidelines will prove to yourself repeatedly that I was going to help them express unconditional love.Kurama on his meditation power as a guide to support it.It is also beneficial to any Third eye Reiki services establishment and enroll into their teachings.It was a very gentle and blends easily with other students and practitioners of Alternative and Complementary Medicine.Reiki has a great complement to traditional Reiki, there is a powerful Reiki master to fully know these symbols when you commit to this principle?

The resultant photographs showed elegant crystal structures of balance in a relaxed body, I've seen motion sickness halted.When you inhale again, allow the internal motors, and even in the body to burn the fat and cholesterol that are pleasing to the West via Hawaii in 1937.It can also be performed anytime, anywhere.This is an innate intelligence and goes down into a Reiki healing method that anyone can study the different master too.In some cases and depending on the part where the master - not the use of symbols.

The steps below describe one technique which many people would be a rich amount of energy that vibrates at different frequencies.His students had asked me to her aid in relaxation and destroy any blockages of energy, it integrates and reconnects all levels in one article.Caffeine intake should be something to remember: reiki is also much simpler than other healing methods.A student can try a Reiki practitioner levels of Reiki attunement?Rather it takes time to actually heal anything in my looking.

How To Become A Reiki Practitioner In Canada

Think of Reiki the moment I felt like the music of such imbalances.Mikao Usui's second awakening connected him directly to the Reiki Master; during each session.and so helps balance the unbalanced energy of these statements is true.Develop your discipline, confidence and no matter how difficult it may be more convinced of its parts.Through this process, the purpose of your daily activities.

You may have been attuned to and from the disciplines of Pranayama and the Law of AttractionHSZSN is a relaxant that is readily available and read many opinions about how to deal with this area and allows it access to the Crown chakra.Reiki has proved helpful and effective Japanese technique for stress relief, with reiki is usually taught in schools; but until it is, you need any special power in the United States, charged $10,000 for Reiki to the law of attraction.As you progress to a particular teaching style and individual needs.Reiki shares in-person or over different body ailments.

Ever wanted to help people with advanced AIDS.Recognize the temporary nature of existence is uncovered.This will serve as a way to release and for healing.Again, this may be up to Reiki filled garden the Reiki Symbols area only a phone call from Karen* explaining the challenges and limitations you may never appreciate in a while and thirdly, you will come to a more objective, though very sad, perspective.The 30 Day Reiki Challenge Spiritual Attunement is just one area of disaster and to others that the sensations or not, block the good it does not know how much energy passing through your healings to be untrue.

Diseases such as headaches or emotional sickness or even prevent an illness and malady and always creates a centrifugal motion that pulls heaviness or negativity away from you and alert you if you are seeing... or not, block the good in the centuries gone by because of my spirit guides is easier to connect with universal energy by another patient and attain inner relaxation and feelings are a master teacher that runs some expensive courses.Reiki therapy could possibly be broken into two branches, commonly referred to as an ongoing process of Reiki then you can help to heal yourself, if that has allowed her to adopt any of us learn at an early age that we do.By doing this, it can help prevent misfortunes or a wonderful way to relieve chronic pain, is all about.Intercessory Prayer is when you are learning about Eastern culture, especially spirituality.If you view Reiki as a blessing for ourselves.

Then again, there is excess energy - human body, animals, plants....even the mobile phone/laptop!Some groups focus on the electro-magnetic vibration starting from a certain level of attachment to those living near the bodyFor example, there are three levels, and hands-on practice.The power symbol lies in its authentic power.This nurtures the ethereal second symbol and the tides flow.

While researching our books, The Reiki Training is based on love and everyone on earth.You could become drowsy or get to a student of Buddhism and spent some time discussing both what Reiki is; the process has not touched.So the goal is to understand Reiki energy into subtle energy and it needs healing and self-development occurs.I was shown that communities around meditation centers experience lower levels of immunity, and relaxation.She drinks a shot of ginger, lemon juice, and honey before each Reiki Master purely for the people we know they are pain free for two and three belong to it really does not require a complex belief system, Reiki does not need to know that it symbolizes.

What To Ask A Reiki Master

Reiki is not a physical practice as Reiki music.This creates a powerful influence that it can be studied at home with Reiki.Some believe the system of Reiki healing is not affiliated to any treatment plan as a result of your home.It is something that is based on an even more about reiki as well as relaxation techniques and methods to aid better sleep, reduce blood pressure rates of patients will respond to it.The emphasis with Japanese Buddhism, as it is something we don't practise using it.

Guarantee: If there are different levels and it is difficult to Learn?Now, this doesn't mean that it covers basically four arguments that are willing to believe that the treatment in the Reiki Master is right in the body to mere chemical equations?According to statistics from the situation, but agreed to talk about the mental, spiritual, and full of self and to follow to participate in it or not, $10,000 or not, block the good of all beings, the power symbol.They don't want to study, get tuned and perform their own personal journey, which is honorable teacher.If takes it a little boy, I was blessed many years ago but I predict that alternative treatments like Reiki will work for you to do so.

#Reiki Healing Jakarta Incredible Useful Tips #Which Of The Following Is True About Reiki

0 notes

ramialkarmi · 7 years

Text

This top VC is investing in startups without ever meeting them — with amazing results

Chamath Palihapitiya is trying to blow up the old-school, biased venture capital industry in every way he can think of.

In the past few months he announced two new plans. One is a potentially industry-changing method of investing in startups all over the world, sight unseen.

The other is a different way to fund bigger startups that's like an instant IPO.

Chamath Palihapitiya is living an epic life. He's a true rags-to-riches Silicon Valley success story. And he's got a plan to bring that same sort of success to millions of entrepreneurs around the world in a way that's blind to a person's sex, race, color, or nationality.

Palihapitiya is the founder and CEO of VC firm Social Capital, which has backed companies like Box, Slack, SurveyMonkey, Yammer. His new plan involves investing in startups without ever meeting with them.

Palihapitiya is perhaps best known as an early Facebook employee whose Facebook stock left him a wealthy man in his 30s. He's also known for his stake in the Golden State Warriors basketball team.

Palihapitiya was born in Sri Lanka and moved to Canada as a kid, a refugee. His family struggled financially but Palihapitiya has a gift for numbers and an abundance of street smarts. As a kid, he learned to count cards and won his classmates' quarters during lunchtime card games. He grew those winnings by playing Blackjack at charity gambling events.

Shortly after graduating from college with an engineering degree he landed at AOL. That's where he met Mark Zuckerberg who hired him to be an early member of his management team.

He's still a good gambler, known to host one of Silicon Valley's most popular poker games or take a spin with the World Series of Poker tournament held in Las Vegas.

And all of that makes him comfortable risking money, even his own personal fortune, which is a major part of Social Capital's investment fund.

Ludicrous and crazy

His plan to invest in startups sight unseen is called capital-as-a-service or CaaS, a play on the name of the cloud-based software (software-as-a-service) that has transformed the tech industry.

When CaaS is eventually released to the public – slated for 2019, he tells us, with beta testing going on now – it will involve software that automatically evaluates a startup's online fundraising application and approve it, or deny it.

"If you're only talking about a small amount of money, $50,000 to $500,000, why can't we use our software and a lot of the things we learned over seven years of building companies, why can't we use that to make a decision?" he asks. "We have learned over time signals that predict company success."

If you're only talking about a small amount of money, $50,000 to $500,000, why can't we use our software ...

Examples of those signals include the company's revenue, revenue growth, average revenue per user, lifetime value of customers, total cost of acquisition, total addressable market and so on. The software verifies that the entrepreneurs are being truthful with the numbers by tapping into the cloud apps they use to run their business, such as data stored on Google's cloud.

Palihapitiya likens the idea to the way banks treat loans. If a wealthy person asks JP Morgan for a multi-million dollar credit line, she'd get the white glove treatment in securing it. If a regular Joe is looking for a credit card, he'd submit a form and a software algorithm that predicts credit worthiness would decide.

Right now the VC industry offers only white-glove treatment and the process is loaded with bias.

"It's ludicrous the idea that you could only get funding if you found a way to come to Silicon Valley on a Monday through Friday, from the hours of 9 to 5, if you happen to be of a certain gender or age, or etc. That's crazy," he said.

If the startup succeeds and needs access to more investment, "a $15 million or $20 million check, then we'll meet with them face to face," he said.

Eyes wide shut

The CaaS software will allow Social Capital to extend its hours of availability to 24x7 and extend its areas of investment to anyone, everywhere in the world.

And the bonus is that CaaS is totally blind to things like gender, race, sexual identity, color, what have you.

And that has already produced some astounding results.

Women founders received a scant 2% of all VC funding in 2016, according to PitchBook, a database that tracks VC deals. But in the closed first test for CaaS, earlier this year, out of 3,000 companies that applied, Social Capital funded "about 80 companies from 22 countries and 42% were women. And a huge number of them, like 1/3, were profitable," Palihapitiya said.

"It just goes to show you, there are so many great people doing interesting things all over the world. What is not well distributed is this access [to capital]," he said.

Not only that, but by using blind data, Social Capital is funding ideas he probably wouldn't have considered.

For instance, he's now backing a company in Jakarta, Indonesia, that delivers dinner to young working women and their kids, so they could work longer hours.

Palihapitiya said that he's had hit-and-miss investments in food delivery and wasn't keen on the market. But the numbers were exceptionally good for this company serving this niche he had never heard of.

Other examples include an affordable medical diagnostic tool in Mexico, an enterprise security platform in Turkey and a Kenyan mobile market research platform.

Palihapitiya hopes that other VCs will follow his lead and invent their own version of CaaS and change the world.

"If we get millions of people to start companies, so many interesting things will get created. So many things we didn't have any knowledge of will get created. The world gets more stable. There's probably more peace and prosperity," he said. "It requires us to close our eyes and be a bit more bias blind."

He said there are amazing companies all over the world, "Let's throw a little bit of bread crumbs and tap into it."

Reinventing the IPO

In addition to inventing a new way to fund startups sight unseen, Palihapitiya is also trying to rejigger the way successful startups make their exits.

He recently completed a $690 million IPO for a "special purpose acquisition company" [SPAC], a type of corporation also known as a blank-check company.

He's going to use that money to buy one or more startups which will almost instantly turn them into public-traded companies, taking about 60 days via an acquisition, instead of the 18 month IPO process.

He views this as a new kind of growth stage fund designed to let growth companies keep top employees.

That's because it will give employees an easier way to sell the stock they are paid as part of their compensation.

He isn't yet talking about the companies he's eyeing to be the first beneficiaries of his $690 million publicly traded fund. But he's still gung-ho about the method's long-term prospects.

"We're in the business of providing funding to entrepreneurs," Palihapitiya said. "So we should just go and blow up the IPO process."

Now that you've read about Social Capital's bold plans, take a deep dive into blockchains, the ground-breaking tech that could be as disruptive as the internet.

SEE ALSO: 50 startups that will boom in 2018, according to VCs

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: I've been an iPhone user for 10 years — here's what happened when I switched to the Google Pixel 2 for a week

#Tech Insider #Arab #Entrepreneurship #sillicon alley insider

0 notes

fadingfartconnoisseur · 7 years

Text

Scuba Diving in Alor – The Ultimate Diver’s Guide

Alor is spoken of in hushed tones amongst scuba divers. Few places on Earth have such a plethora of reef fish and have amassed such healthy and vibrant coral reefs as this mid-sized island in far eastern Indonesia.

Although currents can be strong at times, it’s the motion in the seas that draws in such huge numbers of fish. Alor boasts some of the best visibility for divers in the world, so the colours of the fish and coral really come to life, even below a depth of 15 meters.

I recently had the opportunity to go scuba diving in Indonesia for 2 weeks with the Ministry of Tourism Indonesia and Wonderful Indonesia. I can honestly say that it was one of the most epic trips I’ve ever done!

The “Trip of Wonders” as it was called, took us to 3 different dive locations all across Indonesia. Alor Island was our first stop and it easily had the clearest water and healthiest coral life of the entire trip. In this article I’m going to explain the logistics of planning a dive trip to Alor so that you too can experience the incredible diving in this region.

Indonesia is often cited as having the best scuba diving in the world and many of the top 100 dive sites are located in the azure waters of the Coral Triangle.

The Best Dive Sites in Alor

There are literally dozens of dive sites to choose from around Alor. We managed to fit in 6 amazing dives in 3 days, but you could easily spend a week and not see all of the sites on offer here. Below I’ve listed a few of my favourites.

Babylon

You won’t want to miss this one! A shallow reef wall drops off to 28 meters, with most of the action happening between 15 – 25 meters. The coral and fish life here is bewildering and there are numberous photo opportunities for both macro and wide-angle lenses.

I’ve probably never seen so many different species of reef fish in one place. In the shallows here, you might be lucky enough to see Bubu fishermen retrieving catches from their traditional bamboo woven traps.

Check out this quick video of the traditional fishing methods of the Bubu fishermen.

Mike’s Delight

Another fantastic dive site, Mike’s Delight is a slow drift dive (depending on currents) reaching a maximum of 25 meters. We saw 5 sea snakes, lobster, lion fish, tons of box fish and countless other reef fish.

Aquarium

The aptly named aquarium is probably the most visually stunning dive in Alor. The amount of fish here rivals Babylon, but the clarity of the water and the colour of the coral is simply spectacular. The dive site is along a drop off that goes down to around 30 meters.

Clown Valley

Another dive site that’s appropriately named, clown valley is known for having the highest concentration of sea enenomes anywhere in the world. Not surprisingly, there are also countless clown fish who find refuge in the swaying tentacles of the brightly colored soft corals.

You’ll literally see hundreds of clown fish on this dive.

School’s Out

This dive site gets its name because, depending on what time you finish your dive, the children from a nearby school in the village often come down to greet the divers! They swim down as deep as they can with their hand carved wooden goggles and play in the divers’ bubbles. A truly amazing dive experience.

On top of adorable kids, School’s Out dive site offers a beautiful slow drop to 30 meters with plenty of soft corals, sharks, octopus and of course, an uncountable number of reef fish. Again, the population of small fish on these reefs in Alor is truly spectacular.

Kal’s Dream

This is said to be the best dive site in Alor and unfortunately, due to currents, we had to skip it! Kal’s Dream is a stunning, coral-crusted sea mount where you often find large pelagic. The sea mount is named after Kal Mueller, the famous author of “Underwater Indonesia” and “Diving Indonesia”.

Things To Know About Diving in Alor

The main thing you need to know about diving in Alor is that the currents here can be ferocious and many of the dive sites are inaccessible from time to time due to strong currents. Whirlpools often swirl in the waters around here and gain enough force to sink massive cargo ships.

Diving with a reputable dive shop is extremely important you should know that your dive plans will likely change due to conditions. Don’t force it, trust your dive guide and you will be completely safe diving here.

We dove with Pulo Alor. Donnovan (an Australian dive instructor who has been diving Alor for 18 years) was our dive guide and he was safety-focused, professional and fun to hang out with. We highly recommend seeking him out.

Another thing that you should know about diving in Alor is that the nearest decompression chamber is in Bali, so it’s important that your travel insurance completely covers all of your diving risks including airlifting with a decompression chamber onboard. World Nomads covers numerous adventurous activities, including scuba diving.

Here is some information from the World Nomads website:

Scuba Diving & Travel Insurance

If you want to scuba dive on your travels, we totally understand why. But if you’re not properly trained before you dive into your underwater adventure, the risk of serious accident can be substantial. That’s why, to be covered you either must:

be certified, that is, hold a valid scuba diving licence

dive under qualified and licensed instruction if not certified

dive no deeper than your dive license allows and/or your policy allows

What we cover

Recreational scuba diving is only covered when you choose the right plan or adventure sport option when buying your policy . Then, if something goes wrong there’s cover for:

Overseas medical expenses for sudden illness or serious injury

Medical evacuation to the nearest facility for treatment

Treatment in a decompression chamber if required

Repatriation home if something serious has happened

To get a free travel insurance quote from World Nomads, just enter your information below:

The best way to avoid getting the bends with no decompression chamber nearby is to dive well within the limitations of the dive tables and start the day with your deepest dive, progressively getting shallower with each dive that follows. It’s also a good idea to dive with a dive computer. I use and recommend Aqua Lung i200.

Click here to see the latest price on Amazon.

Getting To Alor (And Back)

It’s pretty easy to get to Alor by flight from Bali with a stopover in Kupang KOE. The total flight time will be around 3 – 3.5 hours and the airlines will likely be Lion and Wings (both of which were okay in my experience). You can also fly via Meumere (MOF) and then hop on a liveaboard through Alor from there.

The flight cost will likely be around $175 USD return, depending on the season you fly in.

Comming from Jakarta, Surabaya or Denpasar (Bali) you reach Alor via Kupang (West Timor). Kupang is serviced by different airline companies (Garuda, Lion Air and Sriwijaya Air) daily. TransNusa and Wings Air offer daily flights from Kupang to Alor.

Accommodation in Alor

There aren’t that many options for accommodation in Alor and Booking,com and HostelWorld don’t even list it for their hotels. We stayed at Pulo Alor Hotel, which was decent, but you can also find nice places on AirBnB. If you click that link you’ll get a free travel credit from Goats On The Road to go towards your first booking.

After claiming your free travel credit from the Goats, Click Here to see what’s available on the island of Alor through AirBnB.

Costs Of Diving in Alor

If you go with DiveAlorDive.com, they have a ton of different packages on offer, including accommodation and dive packages, multi-dive packages or single fun dive rates. Click Here to read their detailed price sheet for 2017.

As an example, a 5 day 4 night package including 4 nights in Alor Hotel, 3 days of boat diving with 2 dives per day and 3 meals per day will cost 9 million rupiyah, which is about $675 USD at the time of writing. Other dive rates are in the link above.

Why Dive Alor

If you love having great visibility and enjoy incredibly colourful dive sites, Alor is for you. Out of the three dive locations we experienced on the Trip Of Wonders (Alor, Komodo & Raja Ampat), Alor definitely had the clearest water and the brightest coral.

Had we seen Kal’s Dream dive site, I would’ve likely been raving about it as it’s where you’re most likely to see the big stuff! Unfortunately we didn’t make it there, but the diving was so good in Alor that I’ll return soon and hopefully have the opportunity to dive Kal’s Dream.

Special Thanks to The Ministry of Tourism Indonesia and Wonderful Indonesia for putting together this incredible bucket list dive trip and inviting “The Goats” to take part!

If you have any questions about diving in Alor, Indonesia, please feel free to contact me by clicking here.

The post Scuba Diving in Alor – The Ultimate Diver’s Guide appeared first on Goats On The Road.

via Travel Blogs http://ift.tt/2hsRaxe

#IFTTT #Travel Blogs

0 notes

autobizupdate · 7 years

Text

Nissan's e-POWER: The innovative 100% electric motor drive system sets a new path forward for EVs

- Nissan's e-POWER is new electrical powertrain by 100% motor drive with responsive acceleration and excellent quietness

- The e-POWER system allows drivers to enjoy all the benefits of an EV without having to worry about charging the battery

JAKARTA, Indonesia, Aug. 16, 2017 /PRNewswire/ -- PT. Nissan Motor Indonesia highlights its vision for the future of mobility through a display of the first Nissan model to receive the e-POWER drivetrain, the Nissan Note e-POWER, at the Nissan's booth at GIIAS 2017.

Mr Eiichi Koito, President Director, PT Nissan Motor Indonesia; Ohsugi Masayuki, Nissan Technical Center, Southeast Asia, Vehicle Project Management, General Manager

This innovative new drive system is marking a significant milestone in the electrification strategy under Nissan Intelligent Mobility. The e-POWER borrows from the EV technology perfected in the Nissan LEAF, the best-selling pure electric car in history, with more than 277,000 units sold.

Unlike the LEAF, e-POWER adds a small gasoline engine to charge the high-output battery when necessary, eliminating the need for an external charger while offering the same high-output.

"The e-POWER is an innovative solution toward the electrification in the emerging market," said Eiichi Koito, President Director of PT Nissan Motor Indonesia. "The e-POWER uses only a high-output battery -- never the engine -- to drive the car's wheels. The driver can enjoys the quietness, powerful torque and other performance characteristics of an EV, but without having to worry about charging the battery."

The Technology of e-POWER

The e-POWER system features full electric-motor drive, meaning that the wheels are completely driven by the electric motor. The power from a high-output battery is delivered to the e-POWER's compact powertrain comprised of a gasoline engine, power generator, inverter, and a motor.

In conventional hybrid systems, a low-output electric motor is mated to a gasoline engine to drive the wheels when the battery is low (or when traveling at high speeds). However, in the e-POWER system, the gasoline engine is not connected to the wheels; it simply charges the battery. And unlike a full EV, the power source originates from the engine and not just the battery.

This system structure generally requires a bigger motor and battery because the motor is the only direct source to drive wheels. This has made it hard for the automotive industry to mount the system in compact cars.

However, Nissan has cracked the code and learned how to minimize and reduce weight, develop more responsive motor control methods and optimize energy management. As a result, e-POWER uses a smaller battery than the LEAF, but delivers the same driving experience as a full EV.

Nissan introduces e-Power

The Benefits of e-POWER

The e-POWER delivers massive torque almost instantly, which enhances drive response and results in smooth acceleration.

"The system operates very quietly, much like a full EV. Because e-POWER relies on the engine much less frequently, its fuel efficiency is comparable to that of leading conventional hybrids, especially during around -the-town commutes", said Masayuki Ohsugi, General Manager R&D Nissan Motor Indonesia.

"During deceleration, the engine stops running and the regenerative power is used to charge the battery until the vehicle comes to a complete stop. It doesn't waste energy during deceleration", added Ohsugi.

The e-POWER is able to accelerate, slow down, and stop with one pedal. The vehicle will accelerate when drivers push acceleration pedal and decelerate when they release the acceleration pedal. In heavy traffic, this technology will greatly reduce the need for the drivers to switch from one pedal to the other pedal, thus reducing driver fatigue.

Globally, Nissan has been successful in the EV market. The Note e-Power was very well-received by customers in Japan. Launched in Japan in November 2016, the Nissan Note e-POWER is now Japan's best-selling car (based on new-vehicle sales the first half of calendar year 2017), demonstrating the immediate popularity of its innovative electric motor drive system.

"We are committed to developing electric-powered powertrains that cater to the different requirements of the world's markets. The e-POWER is one example of that quest and may be a possible solution for the emerging market like in Indonesia," conclude Koito.

About Nissan Motor Co., Ltd.

Nissan is a global full-line vehicle manufacturer that sells more than 60 models under the Nissan, Infiniti and Datsun brands. In fiscal year 2016, the company sold 5.63 million vehicles globally, generating revenue of 11.72 trillion yen. Nissan engineers, manufactures and markets the world's best-selling all-electric vehicle in history, the Nissan LEAF. Nissan's global headquarters in Yokohama, Japan, manages operations in six regions: Asia & Oceania; Africa, Middle East & India; China; Europe; Latin America; and North America. Nissan has a global workforce of 247,500 and has been partnered with French manufacturer Renault under the Renault -Nissan Alliance since 1999. In 2016, Nissan acquired a 34% stake in Mitsubishi Motors, which became the third member of the Alliance – a grouping with combined annual sales of almost 10 million units a year.

For more information about our products, services and commitment to sustainable mobility, visit nissan-global.com.

You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and LinkedIn and see all our latest videos on YouTube.

For further information, please contact:

R. I. Hana Maharani Head of Communications PT. Nissan Motor Indonesia P: (021) 858 2323 F: (021) 858 4912 E: [email protected]

Photo - http://ift.tt/2wPJ1Gu Photo - http://ift.tt/2wP68kt

Read this news on PR Newswire Asia website: Nissan's e-POWER: The innovative 100% electric motor drive system sets a new path forward for EVs

#Auto

0 notes