#never let me choose i don't know how to choose anything

[nachrosas]

SLIDE TO LOVE | s.reid x reader

summary: you try to teach spencer how to roller-skate. pairing: spencer reid x reader content warnings: just spencer being a little drunk in this one! word count: 936 a/n: just a little fun day at park with spencer :)

It was a beautiful day. The park was especially alive there. Children's laughter echoed across the green fields, interspersed with the rhythmic sound of roller skates gliding across the asphalt. You were sitting beside Spencer on a bench shaded by a tree, watching the surrounding movement.

“Look at them!” you commented, pointing to a group of young people doing tricks on a small ramp. “I think they're competing to see who can get hurt first.”

Spencer adjusted his glasses, his curious gaze following their movements. “In fact, studies show that high-risk sports stimulate the release of adrenaline and dopamine, which can be considered a motivating factor. What's more, the likelihood of musculoskeletal injuries in sports like this is…”

You rolled your eyes, but couldn't contain your smile. “Right. Dr. Reid, what about you? Have you ever tried skating?”

He blinked, clearly taken aback by the question. “Me? No, never. It seems… too unstable for me.”

“It's fun!” you insisted a little, standing up and tugging on his hand. “Come on, Spencer. It's time to add that to your list of extraordinary skills.”

He hesitated, but your piercing gaze made him stand up slowly, adjusting the strap of his bag on his shoulder. “If I fall and hurt myself, it'll be your fault.”

“No problem! I'm a great instructor!” you assured him, guiding him to the small hut that rented out roller skates.

Spencer looked at the skates on his feet as if they were bombs about to explode. “Did you know that skating is responsible for approximately 100,000 injuries a year in the United States? About 33% of them involve the wrists, because when people fall, they choose their hands as a method of protection.”

You laughed, crossing your arms. “Okay, Dr. Statistics, but you're forgetting the most important fact: falling is part of the fun.” You took a step forward, grabbing his hands. “And besides, I'm here to make sure you don't become one of those 33%.”

He frowned, but you saw the corner of his lips twitch, almost forming a smile. “I can't be good at everything, you know?” he grumbled.

“Exactly! And that's why it's going to be so much fun to watch you stumble a little.” You winked at him and gently pulled him away from the grass, towards the asphalt.

As soon as the wheel of Spencer's roller skates touched the smooth surface, he staggered, his arms moving like uncontrolled propellers. You held on tightly to his hands, biting your lip to keep from laughing out loud. “Okay, okay, don't worry! Small steps, right? Let's try again.”

He nodded, his eyes fixed on his own feet, his expression determined. Every step was clumsy, and he stumbled a few times, but you never let go of his hands.

“You're thinking too much,” you commented, as you helped him regain his balance for the third time. “You have to relax, let the movement flow. It's like walking in sneakers! Only instead of sneakers, it's wheels.”

He looked up at you, his brown eyes shining with something other than frustration. “Relaxing? I'm not exactly good at it.”

You laughed, tilting your head. “Really? You don't even think so. All that genius and you can't take two steps without pulling me along?”

Spencer stopped, swaying slightly on his skates. “You know I'd do anything to see you smile like that, right?”

The world seemed to slow down. He said it as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, but the sincerity in his voice made your heart soar. A shy smile took over his face.

“Well, in that case,” you replied, squeezing their hands tighter. “You'd better keep practicing. Because I'm still not satisfied.”

He smiled back, genuine and full of renewed confidence, and took another step. Of course, he stumbled again, but this time your laughter echoed together, filling the park with a light and contagious joy.

With you still holding his hands, Spencer was able to glide with more confidence — or at least what felt like confidence. His movements were still clumsy as if he was learning to walk again, and that's when you realized that he was really trying. For you.

For a brief moment, he took three consecutive steps without stumbling, and you both celebrated as if he had just won a medal. But the euphoria was short-lived. With his next move, Spencer lost his balance, tripping and pulling you along.

You both fell to the ground awkwardly, but the impact was cushioned by the laughter that escaped your lips. You looked at him, who was now lying on his back, trying to catch his breath as he laughed more freely than you had ever seen before.

“I told you,” he said between laughs. “that it wouldn't end well.”

“Finish well?” you repeated, sitting down and holding out your hand to help him up. “Spencer, that was perfect!”

He accepted your help, taking a seat next to you, still with his skates on his feet. “If that's your definition of perfect, maybe I need to revise my standards.”

You gave him a gentle push on the shoulder, smiling. “You know, I think you're starting to get the spirit of the thing.”

He tilted his head, studying you with that look that seemed to unlock secrets. “Maybe it's because I have the best teacher in the world.”

You rolled your eyes, but your smile remained. “And you'll need more lessons! Next time, no falls, okay?”

“Next time…” he repeated, with a slight curve to his lips, as if the mere act of saying those words was a promise.

[owlwithanapple]

Eternal Engagement

Signs of transformation

After what happened yesterday, Damian left your room at dawn. It was already the next afternoon when you woke up. You had been sleeping for a long time. There was a chair next to the bed. The strange thing was that this chair should have been in front of the desk, but you didn't think much about it. Recalling you felt that strength was drained for a moment yesterday, but recovered today.

Hearing... No change, just a temporary phenomenon.

You changed clothes and prepared to go downstairs. Before that, you saw a black car parked at the door through the window. You knew who was coming with that exaggerated luxury car. You went downstairs and walked towards the living room. A familiar voice came, and you leaned out to see who it was. You saw your daddy, Damian and uncle Bruce. The three of them were sitting on the sofa and talking about you in a serious manner.

You hid at the stairs, not knowing what to do. The point is, you didn't do anything bad, so why hide? A hoarse voice interrupted your worries, "My future daughter-in-law, don't you come and show your face to your father-in-law?"

"Uncle Bruce, don't call me that... It's embarrassing." Bruce is like your second father, always teasing you.

Your daddy was sitting next to Damian, trying hard to hold back his laughter, your fiancé was as arrogant as usual. You ignored him and stood at the stairs. Bruce saw that your interaction was at a stage of no progress. He chuckled and stood up walked towards you, opening his arms with a bitter smile "Give Uncle Bruce a hug?"

You know Bruce is comforting you in a more caring way, you go forward to give him a hug, he pats your back and then lets go. He knows Damian's tone is always sarcastic and annoying, it's normal for you to dislike him. He puts arm around your shoulders and takes you to sit on the sofa. Damian, who was scrolling on his phone, stops his fingers and casts his emerald eyes on the two of you.

"I heard from Clark that you heard a cry for help from a far distance. Did you feel any changes in your body after waking up?" Bruce clasped hands on his knees carefully observed your body and condition.

You shook head to indicate no, and he nodded slightly. You said, "I haven't changed at all. I felt my body was hollowed out when I touched Kryptonite yesterday, but I recovered today."

"What a disappointment. I thought someone had a chance, but nothing happened." These words cut through your heart like a knife. Damian put away his phone, with a smug smile on his face like he was laughing at you.

"Damian, shut up." Bruce glared at Damian, and you felt a chill with Bruce’s voice.

"I didn't say anything wrong, father. It's all true. You didn't say it clearly-" Damian stated the truth without hiding it, and those words hurt you badly.

"I... I'll go to the kitchen to prepare drinks for you all." You got up and left in a panic.

"Is all you can do to avoid reality? How pitiful." Damian said.

You don't want to marry him, don't want to spend your life with him, he has never been gentle to you. His cold and ruthless emerald eyes and the piercing words in his mouth are like several knives that keep leaving scars deep in your heart. You can't change the facts, because he is right. Everyone cares about your feelings, so they choose to avoid these factors.

You went to the kitchen in frustration, opened the cupboard and took out the tea bag to prepare for brewing. While waiting for the hot water to boil, you were distracted and vaguely heard your daddy and Bruce scolding Damian, but he just didn't care about anyone's opinion. Self-centered people, you feel very jealous, why is he better than you.

After the tea was brewed, you carefully placed it in front of the three people. When you were about to take the teapot to pour the tea, Bruce patted the empty seat next to you and motioned you to sit down. Your daddy poured the tea into the cup and pushed it in front of you. You took it and taste it carefully, Bruce patted your shoulder as if to comfort you.

"Don't take Damian's words to heart. You know how he talks." He showed a bitter and worried look when he noticed your low mood.

"I know... I don't blame him. It's futile to argue." You were frustrated but tried to hold on to your emotions. You put down the teacup.

"Little princess, don't be like this-" Your daddy wanted to comfort you but was interrupted by Damian.

Those words hurt more and more, they kept playing in your mind over and over again. "It's not shameful to face the reality. If you want to blame someone, blame yourself for not being qualified to have super powers. You can only envy, jealousy and hate. It's a shame for the weak and it's useless."

You want to run away, run to a place where no one can find you. Run away? What happens after you run away? You can escape once, but can't escape forever. It just makes you more pathetic and cowardly, it won't change anything. You keep reminding yourself to be confident, but you are very depressed by Damian's words.

"Damian, everyone here is worried about her. You are her fiancé, why do you want to belittle her from an outsider's perspective? Instead of giving her enough encouragement and protection?" Your daddy trusts Damian as much as he trusts Bruce, and he knows very well that your mom doesn't agree with the engagement agreement. But he didn't expect that this time the words were too heavy, he could no longer suppress Damian's behavior towards you.

"Superman, I give her enough encouragement and protection, and what? I am her fiancé, but I also have my own ideas. Do you want her to expect something that she can't get in her lifetime?" Damian stared at Clark, without any room for compromise.

"I asked you to come to Metropolis yesterday to check on her situation, as her fiancé. Not as an outsider who would increase her negative emotions." Bruce tapped the coffee table, his tone as if ordering him to shut up.

You cleared throat and took a deep breath. "Daddy, Uncle Bruce, stop it. Let him say whatever he wants. I'm going to take a walk outside."

You left home with a frustrated mood. Your daddy came forward to stop you but you refused. You went to the farm and kicked the pebbles on the ground vent your anger, and kept cursing Damian. At such a long distance, Bruce and Damian couldn't hear what you were cursing except for your daddy's super hearing.

"Damian Wayne you bastard! Stinky Robin! Inconsiderate bastard!" After you cursed, your eyes blurred and felt unwell for a while. You began to rub your eyes, slowly became hot. You couldn't suppress it for long. You shot a red laser light towards the rice field, and it instantly caught fire and burned the rice.

"Oh my God... No no no... Daddy!" You ran towards the house.

Clark's super hearing was always focused on your heartbeat, until he heard your heartbeat was very panic and shouting from afar. He rushed to open the door at lightning speed. The rice in the distance was on fire, and your frightened figure was running towards him.

"Bruce! Watch her! I'll go take care of it!" Your daddy's first countermeasure was to put out the fire. He flew over quickly and rushed to the direction of the rice. A gust of wind blew over your head. He rose in the air and took a deep breath and exhaled in the direction of the fire. After a while, the fires finally disappeared.

You were tired of running and sat on the ground, panting. A pair of hands grabbed your shoulders from behind. It was Bruce, Damian who was standing by and observing. Superman, your daddy landed in front of you, the first thing he did was not to blame you, but to hug you. He released the hug and looked directly into your eyes. The traces of your laser eyes disappeared.

"Did you hurt yourself?" Your daddy gently touched your head.

You shook head to indicate no, and his worried expression made you feel very sad. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, daddy. My eyes were hot just now, that's it..."

"I don't blame you, I just want you to be safe." Your dad locked his eyes on Damian. In fact, he had some hope that Damian would take care of your feelings, just like he silently stayed by your bed while you were sleeping last night.

Bruce stepped forward to observe carefully and found the changes in your thermal vision. "I was amazed. She didn't wake up directly like Jon. She seemed to be changing herself slowly."

"But... it's intermittent, which is unreasonable. Why didn't her superpower burst out directly?" Your dad looked at Bruce in confusion.

"Let's go to the batcave. If we continue like this, I don't know if she will suddenly burst out with something. Damian, it's time to go back to Gotham." Bruce finished his words seriously and took out his phone as if to contact someone.

"Understood, Da-hm? Damian? What's wrong?" Your daddy noticed that Damian was distracted, as if he was thinking in a void.

"Is the method I use really effective...?" He muttered.

Damian cast his eyes on your face. This time he didn't say much but remained silent. You trembled, and suddenly an inexplicable feeling came over you. Usually he always has harsh words on his lips, but this time he is observing you very seriously. Why? Until he approached you and knelt on one knee.

You choked up, suddenly very nervous "Why are you staring at me like that?"

His eyes slowly moved down from your face, which was very different from the usual Damian. You were used to his harsh words, but suddenly he was silent, which made you feel uncomfortable. It was really hard to guess what he was thinking. Your father and Bruce looked at each other, not understanding what Damian meant by his intentions and actions.

Just when you wanted to open your mouth to ask more questions, he picked you up with his left hand. In a panic, you wrapped your arms around his neck. He picked up your shoes with his right hand started walking towards the house. He didn't say anything, nor did he look at you again. He was thinking about a lot of complicated details in his mind the whole time.

"Hey Damian Wayne! What are you doing?!" You panicked.

Clark and Bruce in the back didn't know whether to laugh or stop him, until Clark thought of the words and said, "To be honest, I'm worried about leaving my daughter to your son, Damian's mind is really hard to understand..."

"I understand. As a father, I have no idea either. But Dick once told me that Damian asked him how to treat a girl gently." Bruce put his phone away and walked in step with Clark.

"Huh? Him? You mean Damian?" Clark was so surprised that he almost shouted.

"Hahaha, surprise? I had the same reaction as you at that time and almost spilled my coffee." Bruce chuckled as he looked at the two of you.

"If he was half as considerate as Dick, maybe I would have less gray hair and feel at ease to hand over the life of the little princess to him." Clark breathed a sigh of relief and confessed before combing his hair back.

Bruce stopped his steps, Clark turned his head until he noticed that Bruce's eyes were still on the backs of you and Damian. "Maybe it's unfair to the two of them, but Damian gives me the feeling that he doesn't want Y/N to feel inferior for the rest of her life."

"But he shouldn’t use bad words, right? He's her fiancé after all." Clark was confused.

Bruce shook his head to show that he didn't understand. "I have no idea about my son. I hope they can get along. Maybe there will be some changes in the future."

At this moment, you don't know what to do. Only can wait quietly for him to stop. Damian Wayne doesn't say anything to humiliate you. You want to quarrel with him but don't have the chance. He doesn't express his thoughts. He values ​​his dignity very much, and then uses bad words to hurt others. This is why you hate him.

Damian will steal a few glances at you when you are not paying attention. His emerald eyes wander over you. He is making sure you are intact since you just lost control and used heat vision. He sighed silently, not because he was impatient with you, but because he was thinking a lot about your superpowers.

In the evening, Gotham City, Wayne manor—

Since your daddy and Jon have responsibilities cannot stay with you, you will be taken care of by the Wayne family for the time being. Although your mom is very dissatisfied, the main reason is Damian Wayne. But she still compromised for your superpowers. She added that if Damian makes you unhappy, don't be afraid of him, you are Superman's beloved daughter, you can fight him head-on. You are really inferior to your mom in stubbornness, no wonder your daddy is so obsessed with her.

You followed Bruce and Damian to Wayne manor to stay for a few days. You once did physical ability tests and reports with Jon in the batcave. At that time, you showed no signs of transformation. You were extremely inferior at that time. You still remember that you kept crying and making a fuss, even Uncle Bruce and daddy didn't know how to comfort you.

But there was someone who was very good at making you happy, a very kind butler of the Wayne family. When you got off the car, you saw him waiting at the gate, you felt relieved. It was him, Alfred Pennyworth. He came forward gave you a warm hug, he carried your luggage and walked into the house.

First, Alfred leads you to the bedroom Bruce has arranged for you, which is next to Damian's bedroom. Alfred suggests putting your clothes in the closet first, letting you take a good shower, asking you if there is anything you particularly want to eat, and then he goes to the kitchen to prepare dinner for today.

Damian didn't wait for Bruce to say anything went straight to the batcave. As soon as he stepped in, he was scanned and identified by the system, all the lights and currents turned on automatically. He started the batcomputer and clicked on Jon's physical analysis report. He sat down leaned back in the chair, reading all the details carefully, and then replayed the record of the first time you two experienced the meta analyzer here.

"Little D, aren't you going to accompany your fiancée?" A voice came from behind, it was Dick Grayson aka Nightwing. He stood aside wiped sweat, staring at the screen, which contained a video clip of you and Jon.

"Alfred is taking care of her, I have to be busy with important things." The keyboard made a rapid clicking sound, his fingers kept pressing on each key. He was analyzing all possible factors, and his eyes were all focused on the big screen.

"The important thing is about fiancée or her superpowers?" Dick curled his lips and smiled.

He stopped the movement of his fingers, clenched his fists said stubbornly, "Superpowers."

"You are so tsundere, why don't you just admit that you care about her? Bruce told me that you did it again said bad things to her. Let me guess, domineering play?" Dick turned the chair around and let Damian face his face.

"No, you think too much." Damian turned back to face the big screen.

Dick chuckled, walked over to Damian, grabbed his arm and pointed at his ring finger. "I wonder which stubborn guy loves his fiancée so much that rarely takes off the engagement ring except when he is on patrol."

"Fuck you! Don't say such nonsense-" Damian shook Dick's hand off and tried to argue but interrupted by Bruce clearing his throat.

"Hi, Bruce, welcome back. Where's the little princess of the Kent family?" Dick let go of Damian's hand while trying to hold back a laugh.

"She and Alfred are sorting clothes in the bedroom. Damian, should you be here or with her?" Bruce asked, his eyes fixed on the big screen.

"Alfred is with her. Besides, I have something to deal with now." The keyboard sounded again, his eyes were fixed on the big screen and he was busy.

"Oh my god, you also read the genetic test report? How much do you care about the structure of every cell in her body?" Dick was surprised, looking at the complex analysis system on the big screen.

"Jon's genetic sample was kept, and it has changed over the years. From a mortal's physique to a superpower body." He stopped his finger movement and pointed at Jon's report and said calmly.

"You want her to experience the meta analyzer again?" Bruce asked curiously.

"That's right. Take her genes and send them to the laboratory for analysis and testing. Maybe we can-" Before Damian could finish his words, Bruce tapped the keyboard.

"We can find out if she has changed since the first time." Bruce said.

Damian and Bruce looked at each other and nodded to indicate that it was correct.

Dick looked at the big screen, which was full of your information. Each one was classified in detail and stored in D.W's private folder. "Wait, why aren't your fiancée's things in the Kent Family folder?"

"Don't look at these fucking details!" Damian quickly closed and returned to the homepage of batcomputer.

"Hey, language. Don't let Alfred hear it." Bruce chuckled.

You put the clothes in the closet, Alfred went to the kitchen to prepare dinner. You sat in the living room watching the video playing on the big screen TV. You had nothing to do so went to the kitchen to help Alfred. He saw through your uneasy mood, so he asked you to clean the dishes and put them on the dining table in order.

"Miss Y/N, thank you for your help. I have to go to the batcave to inform them that dinner is ready." He bowed and prepared to leave.

"Ah, okay, Uncle Alfred." You nodded.

Suddenly, an idea came to him, he poked your shoulder smiled slightly "How about we go together? The Batcave has been upgraded a lot in recent years, do you want to visit?"

Your eyes widened and almost glowed "Really?! I want to visit!"

You followed Alfred's steps to the secret passage leading to the batcave. The moment you stepped into the elevator, the door closed immediately, and automatically descended to the batcave floor. You tapped the thick glass cover around the elevator, which was covered with super hard and resistant structural materials. While descending to the bottom floor, you saw Bruce and Damian in front of the batcomputer, and Dick kept waving at you.

Landing on that floor, the elevator door opened automatically. The environment was as quiet and cold as usual, could hear the sound of your footsteps echoing after walking a few steps. Dick rushed towards you, before you could say hello, he picked you up and spun around twice. As gentle and steady as usual, he said optimistically, "Hi~ Long time no see~ Kent's little princess~ Did you miss me~"

"Hello, Dick." You were surprised but happy.

"Ahem, Master Dick. Please put her down, you will scare Miss Y/N. And please take a shower first." Alfred told him with a smile.

"Okay, okay, I know." Dick looked at Alfred's serious expression and laughed. He didn't put you down, just lifted you up walked to the position of the batcomputer and the other two.

"TT, put her down." Damian stretched out hands, and Dick dodged him.

"What? Are you jealous? I won't let her go~" Dick mocked him, but in fact Dick's intention was to expose Damian's jealous side.

Bruce and Alfred held back their laughter dared not laugh out loud, because they watched Damian trying to take you back, Dick held you and dodged Damian's every move. But Dick made a mistake, Damian used his feet to make a fake move towards his knees. Subconsciously, Dick let go of you for a moment, and when the opportunity came, Damian quickly slid over and caught you in his arms with both hands.

At the critical moment, you fell into Damian's arms intact without any pain. Bruce was amazed at Damian's skills, felt proud and impressed because he cultivated him. Alfred applauded Damian because he performed a good performance of a hero saving a beautiful woman. Dick smirked and whistled teasingly to praise Damian's behavior.

"Good job at protecting your future wife. I have to learn this trick. I wonder if Kori will like it." Dick poked Damian's cheek smiled as he left the batcave to take a shower.

"Well done, Damian." Bruce followed Alfred out of the batcave.

Meanwhile, you were in a very awkward situation. The two of you were suddenly alone. You were being cold to him, and he was hurting you with bad words. You stole a glance at him and immediately avoided him. He still wore the engagement ring. Strange, doesn't he hate wearing the engagement ring?

You cleared throat and tried to talk. "Uncle Alfred is ready for dinner."

He glared at you like a sharp knife ready to stab you. "I know."

He let go, and you walked towards the elevator after standing firm. He looked at your back, took a step forward and said, "I hate your inferiority complex because don't have superpowers. Don't think that you should have superpowers just because you are Superman's daughter."

You stopped and didn't even look back. You two obviously don't understand each other, he is like a mirror reflecting the depths of your soul. Why do you expect him to be gentle and considerate? It's a fact that he hates you, and stronger than you because of experience and strength.

Suddenly, a hand hugged your waist, the hand holding your waist was not strong enough to hurt you. You leaned your back against his chest, he lowered his head and his magnetic voice came into your ears, "If you feel inferior again, I will remind you again and again, even if it's bad words, don't indulge in that field. Because... my fiancée used to be a very confident and cheerful girl, even if she didn't have superpowers."

It was the first time heard him say such words at such a close distance. His words were cold and harsh, but with a hint of tenderness. You were shocked and enlightened. Before you could tell him what you thought, his hand loosened from your waist and he walked away from you. He walked towards the elevator door and pressed the button. The door opened automatically. He stepped in and leaned to the side, as if waiting for you.

"Why are you standing there? I'm hungry." For the first time, he was waiting for you.

You gently stroked your cheek with index finger to avoid his gaze, and couldn't help but blurt out the puzzled question "Is your brain broken?"

He rolled his eyes and walked out of the elevator, grabbing your arm and pulling you into the elevator together. "You are the one who is slow, and you are just inferior and jealous."

The two of you stepped into the elevator, the double doors closed then rose automatically. You stood in the corner silently looked at his back with his back to you. You couldn't understand him, whether he was angry or encouraging you, he didn't let go of his hand. He was wearing the engagement ring all the time, you couldn't tell. Daddy always said that he was very similar to Bruce, a little difficult to deal with but a good person. From your perspective, he is more difficult than Bruce!

"Are you angry with me? Do you hate me?" you muttered.

He pinched your hand hard and didn't hurt you. "Don't ask meaningless questions."

"Oh alright..." You were silent while waiting for the elevator to rise.

It reached the manor floor and the door opened. Instead of walking out, he let go of your hand and turned his head to look at you, gently pressing your forehead with two fingers. "I have never had those boring and negative thoughts about you, don't let your mind wander."

For a moment, don't know if it was your illusion, but the corners of his mouth rose, you were stunned in place without waking up from the surprise. Until he noticed didn't hear your footsteps, he turned around, and he waited for you for the second time. He walked towards you step by step, grabbed your arm and pulled you out from the elevator to his side.

"Superman's daughter, the future Mrs. Wayne, be confident." This sentence seemed to be encouraging or mocking you, you couldn't tell what he was thinking.

He put his arm around your shoulders and guided you to move forward. He let go and put his hands in pockets walked in the corridor with you at the same pace. You stole a glance at him, his expression didn't change at all, he looked as proud as usual. He looks like Bruce in temperament, maybe like his mother in personality. So curious about who his mother is.

When you get to the dining room, Bruce and Dick are already waiting, dinner is neatly placed on the table. Bruce puts down his phone taps the empty seat next to him to signal you to sit down. Alfred pulls out a chair asks you to sit down, while Damian pulls out a chair sits next to you. Dick leans forward with his arms on the table, his eyes wandering over your faces.

"Did something happen to you two?" Dick looks at Damian.

"Eh? Nothing, why do you ask?" You take a sip of water.

"Nothing is a good thing. Whatever comes out of his mouth is bad." When Dick's mouth curls up to tease Damian, Damian glares at him like a wolf.

"Bad... maybe there was a moment when I thought he was good..." You blurt out carelessly.

Bruce raised eyebrows blinked several times. He looked at you in surprise and then shifted his gaze to Damian's face. You were drinking water at the moment, not noticing that Damian, who was sitting next to you, had become stiff because of your words. Dick kicked Damian under the table to wake him up, he cleared his throat to calm down.

"Really? Then I hope Damian will always treat you well." Bruce smiled slightly, and Alfred came forward to fill his cup with water.

"Little D, did you hear that? Be good~ and don't be stingy about sharing your love~" Dick whistled and teased him with a smirk.

"Shut up and eat." Damian ignored everyone and started to eat dinner.

Bruce, who was present, breathed a sigh of relief with a smile on his face. Dick kept playing with Damian with his feet under the table. Alfred felt very embarrassed when he saw their ungentlemanly behavior, but he still smiled. There was no bad words or swearing, the atmosphere was somewhat cordial but you were still as nervous as ever.

You chat with them about some things while eating dinner to enhance feelings and interpersonal relationships. Although Damian is a man of few words, it is rare for him to say a few words without hurting others. Bruce thinks this is exactly what you and Damian need. After all, you two don't understand each other. It's always unpleasant to meet each other every once in a while. One of the biggest culprits is definitely Damian Wayne.

Just when Bruce and Dick were talking to you very enthusiastically, Damian noticed that there were a few small tomatoes left on your plate. If you are picky about food at Kent's house, Daddy will choose to help you eat it. If you are picky about food at Wayne's house, it is a big taboo for Alfred. Alfred noticed the remaining tomatoes and wanted to ask about it, but Damian quickly put them into his mouth and chewed them when you were not paying attention.

"Master Damian...you...ah...hehe..." Alfred held back his laughter.

"Shut up, Pennyworth." Damian wiped his mouth with a tissue.

Late at night -

It was a quiet night, the vast room seemed very quiet. You missed your family, the noisy Jon, the loud voices of Mommy and Daddy. You searched the contact list on your phone, pressed the dial button and waited for your family to connect the video call. It was connected in less than five seconds, and Mommy's nagging came at the beginning.

"Little princess! Are you comfortable and happy over there? Have you been bullied by Damian? Did Bruce give you good food?" Lois asked incessantly.

"Honey, calm down..." Clark was seen comforting Lois through the screen.

Jon inserted into the camera and waved happily, "Hi~ Haven't you gone to bed yet?"

Talking about happy topics, time flew by and it was already late at night. They were sleepy and hung up the call first. You put the phone beside the pillow and lay down. You turned over on the comfortable and luxurious big bed without any sleepiness. You were used to sleeping in a single bed at Kent's house, but now couldn't sleep. Looking up at the unfamiliar ceiling, it is indeed Wayne Manor, a luxurious, elegant and noble living environment.

Knock—knock—

You heard a crisp knock on the door, you threw off the quilt, got out of bed and walked to the door. You turned the doorknob and looked out through the crack of the door. It was Damian wearing his Robin equipment. He walked in without your consent, took out a communicator from the utility belt and placed it next to your pillow.

"Pennyworth will stay in the batcave. Father and I will go on patrol. If there is an emergency, use this to notify me." He tapped the communicator.

"Got it, be careful out there ..." you murmured.

"I will." He held the doorknob to leave.

"Goodbye..." You nodded slightly, feeling a little lonely and embarrassed.

He closed the door without saying goodbye. As expected, you didn't understand his thoughts. You picked up the communicator. There was a communication method with the letter R, the abbreviation of Robin. Time passed quietly for an hour, you were not sleepy at all. It was too quiet and didn't dare to sleep, fear that ghosts would appear on the ceiling.

Buzz-buzz-buzz-

You were startled by the communicator, you took it in hand in a panic to take a look. It showed the letter R, it was Damian. You held the communicator tightly began to worry, did he forget to take something? Impossible, that Robin would never make such a low-level mistake. The most forgetful one is Jon. Every time Jon forgets to bring something, it is Damian who prepares and reminds him.

It keeps ringing and you press the answer button "Hello? Dami-no, Robin."

"Still awake." His voice came from the inside.

"Yes, I can't sleep." You were very embarrassed and grabbed the quilt.

"Right...Wait for me, don't hang up." You didn't want to disturb his patrol, but he told you not to hang up. You listened carefully heard the groaning of someone being beaten and the sound of gunfire. As usual, he was busy fighting criminals and saving Gotham City.

It was quiet, no more groans or gunshots, only the sound of the grapple gun and the wind. Two footsteps were heard, he landed somewhere. He drew his sword, as if he was cleaning his weapon, and everything was so quiet.

"Just say whatever you want to say, I'll stay with you until you fall asleep." He said.

You were so scared that almost turned off the communicator. You didn't hear it wrong, it wasn't an illusion. He just said it very clearly, every word to let you know. You choked up and were very nervous. Could it be a trap? After thinking about it, you couldn't understand him. He was really hard to understand. He was harder than Bruce, confirmed!

You took a deep breath, brewed the words, then started to talk to him about some interesting stories you had experienced. There was a moment when he listened quietly, and at some moments, you could hear him fighting with criminals or eating. He also responded to you, without bad words, a few sarcastic words, but not directed at you, but at what you had experienced.

"Then, Jon and I..." You slowly fell asleep.

A wave of sleepiness hit you, you began to yawn. Talking for too long seemed to hypnotize yourself. You fell asleep on the bed, and the sound of snoring came into the communicator, but he didn't hang up the communicator. He was sure that you were really asleep, but he was still listening to your snoring. He chose to accompany you silently in this way.

Batman noticed that communicator was not hung up, he pointed at it and asked, "Robin, your communicator-"

"It's okay. Continue patrolling." He answered stubbornly.

"Robin, you can go back first in special circumstances." Batman found your name on the communicator, he held back a smile.

He was sure that you were asleep, he would only stay by your side and leave before you woke up. He rolled his eyes to avoid Batman, "No, let's continue."

Batman breathed a sigh of relief and chuckled, because he discovered Damian's considerate side, "Okay, continue."

In the morning, the sun shines through the curtains. You wake up and yawn and rub your eyes. The first thing you notice is the chair next to the bed. You raise eyebrows and feel strange. Why is the chair next to your bed? The second thing you notice is the communicator has been disconnected. You check the last call time is four o'clock in the morning.

You are surprised. You fell asleep at about one o'clock yesterday, but the call was disconnected at four o'clock. Could it be that Damian didn't hang up? He has been listening to the sound of your sleep? You feel so ashamed. You are an idiot! Wish your snoring is not unpleasant, otherwise he definitely use this to mock you.

"Miss Y/N, are you awake? I have prepared breakfast." Alfred's gentle call came from outside the door. You’re looking forward Alfred’s breakfast.

"Okay! I'll be down right away!" You get out of bed, wash up in the bathroom, change into your daily clothes, go downstairs after you are ready.

Alfred is pouring coffee, there is no one near the dining table. You just found out that Bruce and Damian, two busy guys, had gone to Wayne Enterprises for a meeting this morning, Dick went to Titans Tower to train with his teammates, Alfred needed to go out to buy some groceries.

You nodded silently to show your understanding, after Alfred left, suddenly the phone at home rang. You were the only one left in the manor, you had no choice but to answer it.

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Tag : @chibiduck

[millylotus]

Batfam Favorite Colors

I've been thinking about this mostly cause I don't think Duke like, really likes yellow ya know. And then I realized how many people in the batfam like the color red/have it in like their top two.

Duke! - My guy! My boy! I think his favorite colors are Red & Orange, & like black as an accent color. He doesn't were white often because that's like not easy to clean, and he never really got into the habit even when he started living with the Waynes. The most is like a graphic-tee or basic tee, or undershirt, something that he needs for specific fits ya know. When he was a kid Donnie was his favorite turtle, but Raph is a very close second mainly cause he was the red one. He liked yellow well enough. But when Bruce gave him the Signal suit his feelings on the color changed over time. Signal never really felt like his own thing. He didn't even get to choose the name, and the yellow, and the light and his complicated relationship with both Bruce & Gnomon made him sort of uncomfortable with yellow. He doesn't wear it much out of the suit and he tends to even stray from gold jewelry, sticking to silver and black. He wouldn't say he hates it, both a bit scared & unsure on what that might mean. But nothing in his room is yellow except gifts from those who really don't know him well.

-----

Jason! Jason likes Red, he's always liked red, but when he was younger he like Yellow a bit more. It was the color of the cape [basically a cloak lets be honest] he wore as Robin. And Robin gave him magic. The cape was protection and light all at once. It made him feel special. When he died and came back yellow lost it's luster, it was innocence, it was naivety it was dead magic. And he just wasn't gonna go back to it once he became Red Hood. That perfect little Robin needed his color to be kept sacred. So Jason doesn't wear yellow anymore. Like at all, he avoids it and even gold in most cases. He likes red, cause it's red and it's pretty and once before it might have meant a beating heart, now it meant fresh blood & he doesn't think he deserves any other connotation.

-----

Timbit! - How I lo(v)(th)e you :)))) Tim's favorite colors are Red, Brown & Gold. He says he likes red more, and he does love red really, but at his heart of hearts it Brown, Gold & Blue. But he felt a need as a child to conform to what the batfamily wanted. He vaguely understood how siblings where with each other & knew he could only have one color to call his own. So he chose red, cause Dick likes Blue, & Jason liked Yellow, & Babs likes Purple. Cause what other color was there. He grew to love Blue because of Dick, that's his brother and that specific shade of electric/sky blue felt like home. But he really likes browns, like genuinely shades of brown are his favorite and his entire house-boat has such nice shades of brown wood. He shrinks away from using white in anything but a clinical setting, and fills all that space with a nice beige or pale gold. Gold & Brown just go so well together how could he not love them both. He loves brown eyes and for a long time unknowingly went for people with brown eyes alot [not me pushing my brown-eyed steph propaganda].

-----

Dami-baby! Damian's favorite colors are Green, Brown, Black, & Gold. I know most don't like the Al Ghuls, and yeah they're fucked up but so is the Bat-Family, and honestly I think Damian cares about both sides of his family. Sometimes when he's laying in bed, not even trying to sleep he looks at his rooms and yearns lightly for the perfect brown stone walls of his childhood bedroom. Of the beams, columns & spandrels of dark brown, engraved with images of his favorite animals. Of the curtains and fabrics dyed emerald green, with golden cross-stitching. It feels like home. And as times goes on he makes peace with his homesickness, doing so by bringing that green into his things at the manor. Up against the dark brown walls that he'd go and put bright paintings over. He likes black though, never really thought he would and more so forced himself to when he was younger and still trying to be his father. But at some point he grew to genuinely love the color of shadow black. It began to mean home & protection, along the previous danger & deception [though in a better light]. He'd wear it more with a casual air and not so much overthinking about it. They really just are his favorite colors

-----

Casssssandra! Cass likes Black, White & Rose Gold. Basic as it may seem to you I think she likes them quite alot. She unironically has a very luxury taste for things. She like fine jewelry and master made clothes. Everything in her life is expensive, she lives in the lap of luxury. And that's not in some dumb way where she doesn't know how much things cost. She does & she's very aware, she's just always had this. David Cain might not have taught her how to do much more than fight but every weapon needs far above optimal care. She likes the uniformity of black, the pretty simplicity of it, how it hides shape and movement, a secret all of it's own. She likes white because it accentuates shape, white gets shadows, shadows that show off the light of white. She likes the way they make her feel, all mysterious but also open and accepting. Rose Gold is just the prettiest to her, it's so rich & soft, & bright & mute, it's her favorite metal and any jewelry she has will be made of it.

-----

Babsy - Bad seed watchu gonna do, got a bully on our tail gotta run we gotta bail! I think her favorite colors are Purple & Green. She grew up loving purple, it was in all of her clothes and accessories. She had strips of her hair dyed purple as a kid & then got those adjustable scene kid extensions in purple. Her Batgirl fit is all purple because she had more purple than black and she wasn't gonna change that. To this day purple is her favorite color, but she'll have seconds here and there. Green is a close second fave, it grew on her as she got older. When she was trying to set her self up as Oracle, it was green that people often associated with Oracles & Tech at the time. So she ran with it for consistency and it eventually became a favorite. It melded in with purple and about a little less than half of her once purple things are now green.

-----

STE-PHA-NIE-AH! Steph likes Purple, and she's sweet on Black. She's always been a pretty feminine person, a finding herself as a femme latter in life. And Purple was her girly Pink. It just spoke to her it made her feel happy. She wears as much Purple as she can get her hands, and every major item in her wardrobe in Purple. Of course in a coordinated way so it doesn't look ridiculous but still. Black was just a nice accent color for her, before it grew to mean safety & deception, and in a way it compliments her bombastic & free Purple she so loves.

-----

Hickory-Dick-ory! Dick's favorite colors as a child are Red, Green, & Yellow. Because that's him, that Robin, that's the Graysons. His family legacy carried on in one other iconic performance outfits. For a long time he would never dream of not being in those colors of being Robin. But of course everyone changes, and Dick's favorite colors change. He loves being Robin but he's grown older, in a sense he's molting those colorful feathers. He wants to be a grown man [even though he's still a teenager, somewhere between 16-19], but to the whole world Robin is a child & will always be a child, Batman's sunshine, Batman's hope. Robin is nothing without Batman in that era and Dick knows that. And he still loves Robin he truly deeply does, but he can't be Robin without being seen as a child & he can't fucking stand that he can't have that. So he makes a bit of a pivot. He gets a deepcut V-Neck and skin tight Drag-King fit that honestly absolutely fucks. And he choses a name both so edgy & so cool, and he picks a different costume to base this new him on. And he falls absolutely in love with Blue. And he never falls out of it, he still like Red, Green, & Yellow. But Blue has somehow taken his heart away & is never gonna give it back. Needless to say his wardrobe has done a complete 180 in comparison to when he was 12.

-----

Bruce. o_o His fave is Black, I know a shocker truly, who could have guessed! But he also has a complicated relationship with literally ever other color. Black is simple, it's straight forward, gets the job done. He finds comfort in it's shadow & cover & protection. Of the caves & bats he once found terrifying now bringing him so much peace. But it isn't a solely void color, it's built up of the vibrancy & intensity of every color ever. And with different blacks there are more colors that show through. He likes a nice blue-black, he's been told it goes well with his eyes, but it's also the color of Martha's favorite velvet dress. He gravitates towards red-black because many of his children enjoy that color. In fact if you look close enough & graph it you'll notice Bruce wears specif hues of black depending on which child is most around him.

-----

Random Disclaimer~ - I'm gonna speed blitz the rest of these bat-bitches Kate K! - Red & Black, but in the way that she uses Red to try & recapture her fear of it and use to scare others. Watching he mom blead out red, and her hair in that blood fucked her up. But now she looks like the bloody demon that haunted her. Martha W - She likes creams & pearly colors, and has a special spot for dark blues and such. And enjoys a nice velvet sheen to any and all colors Talia AlG - Her faves are Pink, White, Green, & Gold. Absolutely adores those colors, you will find them everywhere in her wardrobe, but they aren't all she has of course she's a fashionista. Femininity is her, truly.

[mvmnbnv]

Hi! I love your blog!❤️ I Want to know what do u think on this:

I think it's crazy how you have to over explain to caitvi fans that Caitvi relationship is problematic. It's weird bc we have on-screen moments, explicit proves of the things we don't like on the ship and the caitvi fans keep talking about "media literacy", "nuance"... They should be the ones over explaing why it is a good relationship, not us.

And to be fair, I know there are some who over explaing it, but if u observe their explanation is always based on a distorted interpretation of scenes. For me their explanation it's like a Frankstein of ideas together, it requires much more work for making sense.

In conclusion, to see the Caitvi problematics u just need to watch the show!! But to don't see it u have to apparently have "media literacy" 😂

Fr like it's annoying at this point bc I know they're just repeating each other and have no good thoughts. And exactly that! If you take apart anything that they say it means nothing...

"Cait did this/that for vi" "Cait gave up her vengeance for vi" she didn't do shit for vi...she did that shit bc she was tired. And let's say she did do any of that for vi...she STILL treats her like garbage. Everything she does do for her is still done while she's condescending to vi and smacking tf out of her. And sorry if I'm not privy to the words of a writer who can't keep her story together for shit and who's writing is so ass it has to be cleared up in DMs. Cait never utters a single word in regard to vi and her motivations, it's all about her. She gave up bc she hated herself, according to her own words. Not because she loved vi. She "accepts" vi will choose her sister. She still treats her like shit. She still with her OWN WORDS minimizes the shit she's done to vi. And the big thing they REFUSE to acknowledge is vis psychology in all of this. It's almost like caitlyn is aware she doesn't owe vi anything genuine or need to put any work in other than "letting" her (which...ew considering she's now sitting on the knowledge of jinx being alive) see jinx and doing acts of basic human decency. The bare minimum. She knows she doesn't need to do anything for vi that gives her emotional stability bc vi is so desperate it doesn't even matter. She's got vi wrapped around her finger to the point where she won't call Cait out for hurting her and to the point of being willing to fight for a city that had her people under martial law for 6 months tops. But people don't care about how vis behavior makes this ship even worse, because like I've said before, if she was in a better place mentally she wouldn't even be in this relationship

Like yea we watched the same shit it doesn't mean anything.

[tragcdysewn]

of course it's still entirely his fault, despite the fact that he's doing it for her, for them. there's no course where they're happy together anymore where she knows what he is. she'll never accept it, that much is clear, and he swore to her that he'd stay by her side until the end. neither of them had assumed the end in question would be violet's at that time, and he did mourn that this was what was necessary, but he'd keep that promise to her. 'you always have a choice. and you're choosing not to see my side.' the fact that she still lets him in, still broadcasts directly into his mind rather than locking him out, she still cares for him, in spite of everything. they both are convinced they're doing this out of love for the other, but his death would only separate them, while her's would allow them to live happily together. if only she could see that. and she would, she would in time, there's plenty of time for him to win her over while she lives with fake memories. "i don't think you'd want that, but i don't think you want to kill me either, violence. either way, you're doing something that you don't want to do. but this way, we'll be together. and i know you do want that." why he's even debating this with her when his mind is made up can only be attributed to that small part of him that's still himself, still wants to be human and live the life that both of them wanted before this all started. a part that only grows stronger as she's wrapped in his arms, a situation he's been in so often but with such vastly different outcomes than the one he's currently planning. "i'm not throwing anything away, and i'm certainly not doing it for power." xaden replies, though the tone is far less confident than it was a few moments before, the blade not moving any closer to her skin despite how determined he had been to end her quickly mere seconds ago. the moment of hesitation costs him, and her foot connects with his knee, sending him dropping to the ground, his blade falling a few inches away. he could take it back up, smother her with the shadows he feels lingering in the corners of his focus before she's even aware of what he's doing, and instead... he lingers. "finish it, violence." his voice now... it's far closer to the man who'd asked her to let him die over a year ago. "you're the only one who can. do it." 'i love you.'

it stopped being about a choice and became a necessity the moment she realized just how far fucking gone he was, how corrupted this power had made him. the moment he confirmed that he was the reason her sister was dead, that mira had been drained by him-- he was still xaden, his voice, his words, everything was still screaming at her that he was still in there, and yet, could she really believe that he was going to be stop there? that he wouldn't continue to fall down this path of corruption until he was no better than the venin that killed liam? 'i don't have a choice anymore.' she knew she should shut her shields down around her mind, and yet, she still couldn't block him out, knowing that placing that last brick right now would seal her decision, his fate.. she would just have to actually win. the praise is the last thing she allows through the connection, knowing it would only distract her, it would only make this all hurt that much fucking more to hear him still be... still be him. she places the last of her shields in place, her mind fully her own, knowing she needed to keep her mind planted in the archives. as she twists away, she watches as she loses one of her daggers to the ground below them. that's one dagger down, she knows she won't have any time to retrieve it.. she would just have to make them all count. zihnal needed to be on her damn side right now to actually win against the very person who trained her. would lightning be the only thing that actually worked, though? was he still human enough that a dagger would kill him? how had things gotten this fucked that she had to even think it, let alone begin planning it! "this is not because you fucking love me! do you actually think i would want to live a life not remembering who i really am? who any of us are? that i would choose to forget my friends? my dragons?" you? the last part was unspoken, not wanting to give in to that ache in her heart. the xaden she was fighting to save very well might have been gone. she dodges his move too slow, too distracted by this fucking conversation. she can fight in pain. she's lived with enough of it to ignore the sting. she needed to focus, to fall back on the moves rhi had trained her in instead of relying on only xaden's training.. he would be expecting all of those first. but before she can move, he's around her, arms warm and so close to feeling like home. but it's wrong, the image twisted as she feels the knife hovering over her throat. hell, any of other fucking sparring match she would have leaned forward to kiss him, wishing he was looking at her with anything but those burning red eyes.. i will not die today. she had to repeat it to herself as she jumped through all the ideas in her head about getting out of this. "i won't forgive you if you bring that knife against my throat. we have fought for this for so fucking long, xaden. don't throw it away for power." she had enough room between them, foot reaching up to kick out at his knee, she just had to get him off balance enough, to get any space between them before she dropped. distance... all she needed was distance.

[homosexualcitron]

one day i'll have to use something else as pfp but for now... trans haro....

[ghostoffuturespast]

Honestly, getting real tired carrying and supporting other folks around here when most of them aren't returning the favor...

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible

[lieut-dundy-le-vesconte]

>dundy crosses himself in return, then squeezes his hands back, looking him in the eyes

n-normally... well normally the preacher and the confessor don't see each other >he offers a smile, a small laugh but this isn't... normally >he shifts forward so that they're close, so that their knees are touching, and then he shuts his eyes, bows his head. it'll be the same if he just doesn't look at him. he tries to put himself in that space. it's been... it's been a damned long time, and he's nervous, and scared, as he always is before confession, scared to lay himself bare in the eyes of God, scared to confess all that he's done, scared to forget something or leave something out... scared that God will hear him, this time, for the liar and cheater he is

>he has lied. at confession. so many times. and so many times they have told dundy God can hear your thoughts, God can see you, but dundy's always seen God as more a captain of a ship than some all-knowing being, a man who guides all the people of the earth towards some common goal he hasn't yet figured out, who offers support when needed, when reached out to. He can hear my prayers, dundy knows this, but he knows also there is no possible way God can hear his thoughts, that loudly and clearly.

>so many times, he's confessed what he's wanted to confess. he's never trusted priests, even though he knows he should. he's heard too many things about people in his town being ratted on because of rumors spread from the confessional... and dundy's never trusted the booth to be a totally private space. he's grown up on ships. there's no thing as true privacy. they've told him, you won't be absolved if you hide things in confession, if you don't lay your soul bare, but dundy's never been one for that. he's never trusted... he's never trusted God enough to be honest with him. he's tried. oh he's tried, but time and time again, just as He has now, God has proven himself untrustworthy, always letting dundy down.

>but now? holding john's hands in his? a protestant, a scottsman, and he french, irish, and catholic, and he is to confess to this protestant who is committing sacrilege in his name... here, where God can hear them the loudest... now, dundy is totally and completely honest. he doesn't pick and choose. he lays it out, exactly as it is, or as well as he can. it's been a long two years. as he speaks, it's with a measured cadence, a quiet voice, steadily, easily, and the sins he lists are listed as they come to him, all the bad he can remember, all that he's sinned over all of his life. once he starts, he doesn't stop, hoping he won't leave anything out.

i'm sorry father... john... i'm sorry john for i have sinned... i have not been doing my job as well as i try to. i have behaved unbecomingly of an officer. i have been drunk, too drunk, sick with it, and i have been drunk on duty. i still practice Papism when is should be Protestant.i have not taken God's words lightly. i have used his name in vain, derogating his honor. i have stolen from other men and other ships, and i have stolen money and goods from prizes. i have been negligent at my stations. i have caused quarrel and disturbance among fellow sailors, and i have provoked hatred amongst my neighbors. i have been disobedient in duty and in battle. i have struck a superior officer. i have questioned command. i have harbored hatred in my heart, i have killed.. i have killed a-at least fifty... i... i don't know how many people i've killed, but i have killed so many, and many i have enjoyed killing. i have hated my fellow sailors as well as my neighbors, i have acted on this hate, i have sought revenge, and i have acted on this revenge, and in doing so i have harmed those i love or who loved me. i have slept with others who are not my own, i have gotten myself off, i have practiced sodomy and slept with other men at least eleven times... i have manipulated, cheated, and lied to others, more than i can count, for my own gains and purposes. i have withheld sins from confession. i have made up sins in confession. i have not loved God with my full heart. i have hated God, i have doubted God, i have lost my belief in God. i have been hopeless. i have never trusted him. i don't trust anyone. i am lost and i am scared and i am unworthy, and i believe my sins are too great and God too weak for absolution to ever be achieved. i have tried to absolve myself of my sins myself. i have seen pain as a sign of love. i have not been a good man. i have tried too hard and not realized when i'm unwanted. i have been awful to everyone. i haven't loved anyone enough. i have loved them too much. i am hopeless, utterly hopeless, and i have wanted death too much for death to ever want me...

>he stops, worrying he's said too much. he's never been this honest, this open with anyone, and suddenly he's so self-conscious about it, about everything he's just said, it's too open, too real, too much, too honest— and at the same time, he knows there is so much more he could say. he keeps his eyes shut. forces himself not to look at john, though he wants to, though he wants to beg for forgiveness in his eyes, to see him speak it. he knows he can't. he knows if this is confession as it was meant to be, then he cannot look at john. john speaks for God now. through him, God hears dundy. through him—

>dundy opens his eyes. he meets john's gaze steadily, not fighting the tears

i'm sorry, he says, i'm sorry i'm terrible... at everything that i do

>he hovers in the hallway. francis suggested he talk to dr. goodsir, but it wasn't really an order, and dundy thinks he's fine besides. the pain doesn't hurt any more than it's been hurting (which is a lot, which he figures is normal; it should be hurting), so he's probably fine, who the fuck knows, who cares, but he knows for sure he's fine. it's not that bad. he starts forward, towards the hatch, then stops at @ltgeorgehodgson's door, hovers, considers, doesn't knock. george doesn't want him. why is he even considering trying??? just go home, henry. just go back out into the cold and dark where you fucking belong because nobody wants you. just go.

>he steps away from the door and starts forward again

[enslaughts]

@doomdays. . . akilah.

' do whatever you have to do. '

most days, javi sleeps. they all do, but they don't all have a room to themselves, and even travis has taken to sleeping by the fire with the rest of them. they're too tired to do much else, too weak. too hungry. everything reeks of it ; starvation and fear, like saliva. sleeping, waking nightmares, one - sided conversations in the corners of the cabin, glazed over gazes stared at nothing. someone's going to die soon. shauna almost killed one of them with her own hands, bare and white to red - knuckled, wild, may yet still. javi doesn't want to eat lottie. he doesn't want to be like them, but someone's going to die soon, he knows this. dreams of it, over and over in the fine lines of the wood grain, memorized.

lately, though, he dreams of worse things. sunlight and stovetops. travis' eyes but older, taller, heavy. travis, younger, shorter, lighter. small smiles over a table and hot food in his mouth. when he wakes, the ring on his thumb feels too loose, too cold, like a piece of him's broken off. left hanging by a thread. when he wakes, there's water in his eyes and his mouth and what feels like his lungs, sputtered and wheezing out into the white, where it's too cold to feel. it should be, anyway. today, he's a prey animal, folded at the tree - line, the waist, sheer hunger, tucked away and hidden. he wants to leave. he wants to run again so bad he can taste it, frost turned to thaw in his mouth, sweet respite from the snow. he doesn't warm his hands in it, though— no, he presses them into the frozen ground until he can't feel them anymore.

only then does he notice akilah. flinches with his eyes and nothing else, hers almost black in the pre - dawn blue, but they're wide, imploring, and javi is too out in the open, too seen. for a moment, he's tucked in a darker, greener place, moonlight and fire, and it's shauna's black, black gaze boring into his. akilah opens her mouth and all javi hears is run. but he can't— i can't, he wants to say. needs to ; to her, to travis, they weren't like the others. alikah was just as hungry as the rest of them, but she was also good, and kind, not just to him, and he thinks he could trust her, but his lips are sealed and shaking, and he can only shake some more, his head, side to side, no. no. he won't leave travis. not again.

[hellohoihey]

hi. I hate this actually.

[loverboybrightsideghost]

they should invent a way to ask if you have felt suicidal or have had suicidal thoughts at the doctor when they ask where you'll answer truthfully. i am fine and i always fight the suicidal thoughts but i went to the urgent care the other day and they asked and i said no no nothing like that. but i lied! of course i have! i've been vaguely fantasizing about getting hit by a car the past few days!!! i truly hate suicide for Reasons, it makes me incredibly sad and distressed, and for myself sometimes i don't even realize it's started creeping into my head again (i'm fine i genuinely promise) but like. as much as i hate it, it's there in some of my friends and me and i have to wonder about the fact that "yeah, but doesn't everyone at least a little bit?" isn't the right answer.

[no-one-hears-me]

the constant conflict between leaving quietly and peacefully vs demanding answers and making him hurt like he hurt me

[snoopyracing]

champagne coast // ln4

pairing: lando norris X reader

word count: 19k

warnings: cursing and alcohol use

includes: friends to lovers, summer!lando, clueless reader and lando, pining, fluff, and a little angst

summary: when lando and you spend summer break together you don't expect italy to eventually hold such a special place in your heart... or lando and you go on vacation and everyone keeps thinking you're a couple.

playlist for the fic: spotify | apple music

masterlist

─── ༺❀༻ ───

It was the Monday before the Belgium Grand Prix when Lando asked – what are you doing for summer break?

The sun had started to set over the coast, its golden reflection rippling across the water and onto the balcony of Lando’s Monaco apartment. The same balcony that the two of you currently resided on, choosing to share the wicker couch instead of one of you sitting in one of the empty chairs.

You were sat sideways on the couch with your legs crossed, your view consisting more of Lando than the picturesque sunset over the sea. A cheap bottle of pink moscato, which was your favorite, was sitting on the table where Lando had his feet propped up.

He’d always complain about how sweet it was, but then drink more of it than you. In all reality, he’d actually grown to love it because of you, but he’d never tell you that. He’d only been able to find it at one place in Monaco, so when he knew you were coming to visit he always made sure to have a couple bottles on hand and maybe a bottle for himself when he was missing you.

Your eyes met his as you processed his question. This right now was your summer vacation. He surely knew that, right? “Summer break? I don’t have a summer break like you do, Lando.” It was true, you had barely managed to get this week off from work to be able to go to Belgium, let alone have a month off. “I figured me being here for a couple days then going to Belgium would be my vacation.”

A disapproving sigh escapes past his lips as he speaks. “That is not a vacation.”

“Well it sure as hell beats being stuck at an office in London.”

He downed the remainder of the wine in his glass and fully turned his body towards you. His arm resting across the back of the couch, his fingers nearly touching you. “I think you should come with me on vacation.”

You stifle a groan by taking a drink of your wine. “Lando, you know I don’t do Ibiza. It's not my kind of place, especially this time of year.” It was a beautiful place no doubt, but the big party scene was not your favorite. And the couple times you had gone with Lando and your shared friend group it was so chaotic and you had a hangover that lasted for what seemed like a week. So no– Ibiza and you weren’t the best of friends.

“Who said anything about Ibiza?” He’s got a smirk toying at the corners of his lips, you can tell by the way his upper lip twitches slightly. Not that you stare at his lips that much to be able to notice that kind of thing.

“Lando Norris not going to Ibiza during his summer break? Should I alert the press? Did you hit your head? Are you running a fever?” You lean forward to check his temperature, but he playfully swatted away your hand with a giggle before you could get close enough. “Have you broken the news to Fewt-”

That smirk had fully developed across his face as he cut you off. “Who said anything about Max?”

Now you really thought that he’d bumped his head or was slightly tipsy already. You cocked an eyebrow at him in question. “Where are you going then? Especially without Max?”

Lando leaned back, the wicker creaking beneath him, but his eyes were still trained on you. Golden hour had made them even more blue, resembling the crystal blue water that was just a short walk away. “I’m going wherever you want to go.”

“Lando.”

“Y/N.” He’s the one to cock an eyebrow now.

“I can’t go with you.”

His smirk had turned into a pout and he knew how to work those big blue eyes, especially on you. “Why not? Wherever you want to go– we will go. Not many people get that opportunity Y/N.”

You go to take another drink and realize your glass is empty, but before you can reach for the bottle Lando’s already got it in his hands, reaching over slightly to pour you another glass. “Who all is going then if Max isn’t going?”

He sets the bottle back down on the table, hesitating for a moment before speaking. You two are close, probably the closest friend he has compared to Max, but he worries that you won’t be up for what he’s about to suggest. “It would just be me and you.”

You feel your cheeks get hot at his proposal, but you shake it off, blaming it on the wine.

As much as the idea of Lando and you going on a trip together sounds amazing, you just don’t think you can make it work. You live a normal life and being able to just go on lavish trips at the drop of a hat is not something you get to experience, no matter how much Lando wants you to or you would like to.

“I would love to Lan, but I don't think I could get the time off again.” Your finger nervously circles the rim of the wine glass as you contemplate even bringing your other reason up. Mainly because you know what his answer will be, but against your better judgment you take another swig of the wine as liquid courage before telling him the embarrassing truth. “I also just can’t afford it.”

And without skipping a beat he blurts out. “I’ll pay.” You’re immediately shaking your head no, but before you can verbally deny his offer he’s speaking again “Seriously Y/N. I will pay. It’s not a big deal.”

Except him paying your way for this trip is a big deal. Just how it’s a big deal everytime you come and visit him in Monaco and he insists that you don’t spend a dime while you’re here. It’s bad enough that you stay at his place, let alone have him pay for your dinner every night. Or how he is always offering to fly you out to races on your free weekends. Or insisting that the random gifts he gives you don’t cost that much, like you can’t read the designer labels on the boxes or labels.

It makes you feel bad that you can’t offer the same back to him. The constant worry that he might think you are using him for his money makes your stomach hurt because it’s the last thing you’d ever do. He’s one of the most giving and kindest people you know and to be able to call him your best friend is something you treasure. And you truly hope he knows how much you appreciate everything he does for you, but how could he not when you tell him every chance you get.

“Lando, really I cannot let you pay for me to go on vacation. It’s one thing to let me crash at your apartment and for you to get me passes to races, which I appreciate more than you will ever know. But I draw the line at a whole vacation. I don’t want to seem like a freeloader who is using you, that’s honestly the la-”

“Oh my god will you just let me spoil you!” Lando had enough of your endless rambling. Your need to always try and decline his gifts or offerings until he convinces you that you are worthy of them drives him crazy. To Lando there isn’t a person on Earth who deserves everything and more than you. And the fact that he can afford to give you anything you’d ever want tickles him pink. Hell if it was possible, he’d buy you the whole damn universe, even if you hadn’t asked for it.

“I hate that you think– that I would think you’re using me. Never in a million years would I think that. You mean a lot to me Y/N, truly. You’re one the most important people in my life and you deserve everything and more that I give you. If I thought you were using me, I would not be asking you to go on vacation with me, believe me. I love having you around and with us not seeing each other like we used to, I figured a trip with just the two of us would be nice.”

He pauses for a moment as he scoots a little closer to you on the couch, your legs touching as the glow from the sun envelopes around you two. “Now please don’t try and worm your way out of this trip. I’ve missed you so much and if you don’t end up going I think you’re just gonna have to move in with me.”

You roll your eyes at his dramatics, but try not to let his heartfelt words get to your head. “How would I even get the time off work again? Tell them ‘Oh my famous F1 driver best friend wants to take me on a trip. Can I please have some more time off?’ I don’t think that would work.”

“Well I think it would work. Especially if you add in that I’m super hot.”

The giggles that come from you lets you know that you’ve drank your fair share of wine for the evening. “Oh I don’t think they would ever tell me no If I added that in.”

“If they do say no then just quit and I’ll get you a job somehow with McLaren or Quadrant or something. I just really want to go on this trip with you.”

You aren’t sure if it's the wine in your system or the fact that you want nothing more right now than to spend a week with Lando in some beautiful country, without a care in the world. But you ignore every responsible and logical part of you and tell him what he wants to hear.

“Alright. So where are we going then?”

His eyes light up and the smile that spreads across his face is comparable to that first win smile. “That’s all up to you baby.”

Both of your hearts skip a beat at the term of endearment that came from him. His because he can’t believe he let it slip and yours because you can’t believe he called you that so easily. But you both ignore it and you focus on the one place you’d had on your mind since he mentioned taking a trip.

“Italy?” You suggest with a hopeful smile on your face.

He fills up his glass with the last of the fruit juice like wine and holds it up towards you, your glasses clinking together in a toast. “Italy it is then.”

─── ༺❀༻ ───

Six days later an email notification pops up on your phone as you’re sitting in McLaren’s hospitality, talking with Lando’s Mom. You glance at who it’s from, not wanting to be rude and get on your phone mid conversation, but when you see your boss’s contact you can’t help but open it. “I’m sorry, it’s from work.” Cisca waved you off, the conversation had only consisted of why they couldn’t stock better snacks in hospitality, and she knew if work was emailing you on a Sunday it had to be important.

You had emailed them Monday night requesting the time off and when they hadn’t responded by Friday you figured they were denying it. Or firing you for requesting more time off while currently being on a vacation. So to be getting this email on a Sunday had you worried, but as your eyes scanned the email you couldn’t hold back the excitement. By some higher power unbestowed to you, they had granted you the time off.

“Never seen someone so excited over an email from work.” Cisca teased.

“Yeah. Honestly thought I was getting fired, but they approved my time off for the Italy trip Lando and I are taking.” You leaned back in the chair, relief finally washing over you.

“Just the two of you?” Cisca had her suspicions about her son’s feelings towards you and your feelings towards him. She’d secretly hoped the two of you would end up together the first time she met you years ago. She honestly thought you were his girlfriend that day and was surprised when he introduced you as his friend. Then she thought maybe he was hiding your relationship because she had never known her son to bring around a female friend like he had you.

You had attended family dinners, a couple holidays, races, and so many other things that just didn’t seem normal to bring a friend to. They had become so accustomed to you being around that when he finally said that he was bringing home his girlfriend for everyone to meet and you didn’t walk through the door— everyone was a little shell shocked. The relationship didn’t last long and she had her theories as to why. To Cisca there was just no way the two of you didn’t have feelings for eachother, she could see it plain as day, and it drove her crazy that the two of you didn’t see it.

“Yeah. At first I thought he was asking me to go to Ibiza again with everyone and you know me, it’s not my thing. But then he said we could go anywhere I wanted and that it was just me and him, so I chose Italy.” You gathered your things, eager to tell Lando the good news before race time. “You raised a good man, Cisca. I couldn’t ask for a better person in my life than him.”

There’s a smile on her face as she watches you talk about Lando, how your smile never falters and how that twinkle in your eye seems to get brighter the more you talk about him. “Thank you honey. You had better go tell him, hadn’t you?”

“I’ll be back!”

Thankfully Lando’s not that hard to find, he’s in the garage looking over some data on the monitors with Will when you spot him. You stand back out of the way, waiting until he’s done, but as soon as he turns to walk away you’re racing towards him. Your arms flinging around him from behind and you can feel him tense under you, but when he hears your laughter his muscles relax.

“What’s got you in such a good mood?” Lando asks as he turns around to face you, his hands lingering on your hips.

“Hmmm. It may have something to do with work approving my time off.”

That same smile from the other night finds its way onto his face and he’s pulling you into his arms, the two of you swaying back and forth as he nuzzles his head into your neck. “I knew they would approve it, it was meant to be.” His voice tickles your neck as he speaks causing a giggle to escape past your lips.

“Can’t believe we get to spend a week together in Italy.” You state as he releases you from his grip.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

You furrow your eyebrows at him, still not sure that he wouldn’t rather be going to Ibiza with his friends.”You’re sure you’re not gonna miss Ibiza?”

His fingers toy with the hem of your shirt as he speaks– his blue eyes boring into yours. “I’d miss you more if I went.” And there isn’t a single ounce of doubt in his words. If he ended up going to Ibiza without you, he’d be at a club wondering what you were doing. Eventually downing one too many shots to try and numb that annoying ache in his chest that forms when you aren’t around. The one that even with you around this week, he had felt occasionally at the idea of you not being able to go to Italy.

The idea of him spending his summer break back in England had crossed his mind a couple times, especially if that meant he got to spend time with you. Luckily though fate was on his side today and he wouldn’t have to deal with that ache for the foreseeable future.

You can feel the slight blush on your cheeks as you process what Lando had said to you and you pray he doesn’t notice it. Just him simply saying he’d miss you if he went to Ibiza should not have you blushing, but here recently it seemed like that was all he could do was make you blush.

A familiar Australian accent hits your ears and around the corner comes Oscar, his hand clamping down on Lando’s shoulder as he comes up behind him. “Y/N. Haven’t seen you in awhile.” His bunny teeth showing as he flashes you a smile.

Your mouth barely opens to speak before Lando’s speaking for you. “I know. She’s been too busy working back in London to come see her favorite person.”

“I’m really such a horrible friend. I’m so sorry Oscar, I really should make more time to see you. In fact, how’s Australia this time of year? I think I might come visit you.” The playful smirk on your face and Oscar’s laugh does nothing to tell Lando that you’re just joking and like a little kid he’s got his arms crossed across his chest with a slight pout on his face.

“Um. I think I’m your favorite person Y/N. Plus you can’t even go to Australia because we are going to Italy.”

Oscar and you can’t help but laugh at Lando’s dramatics, but Oscar wants to tease Lando even further. He knows how his older teammate feels about you, even if Lando won’t give the idea any time of day when Oscar brings it up. Lando had confided in Oscar about his idea to take you on a trip, but Oscar didn’t think he’d actually go through with it. “Italy? Who’s all going? Maybe Lily and I could tag along?”

Lando’s eyes widen at Oscar’s suggestion, mainly because he knows you’d jump at any opportunity to spend time with Lily and this trip was meant to be just for the two of you. “It’s just gonna be me and Y/N…” He trials off, trying to figure out how to nicely tell Oscar that he can’t come.

“There's a month between Singapore and Austin. We should all plan something for then.” You chime in. As much as you would love to spend time with Oscar and Lily, you really want to have this trip just be Lando and you.

Lando’s surprised at you turning down Oscar’s suggestion, but smiles and nods towards Oscar, agreeing with your idea. “Yeah that sounds like a good idea.” Oscar states, a small smirk on his face as he eyes the two of you, fully knowing that you’ll come back from Italy together. And if you don’t Oscar thinks he may have to knock some sense into his teammate.

The driver’s parade was set to start soon, so you tell Oscar you’ll see him around and give Lando a hug, knowing you won’t see him again until after the race. “I’ll see you later, yeah? Be safe and good luck.”

Lando’s grip on you lingers, not wanting to fully let you go just yet, but when they get the final warning that it’s time to go he reluctantly frees you. A small frown on his face as he heads towards the track and you go back to hospitality.

The two McLaren drivers stood side by side on the flatbed of the moving truck, smiles on their faces as they waved at the fans in the grandstands. “Never seen two friends like you and Y/N go on a trip together– alone.” Oscar’s voice is low, there’s an interview going on to his left, but he’s loud enough that Lando can hear him.

Lando keeps looking straight forward as he speaks. “Don’t know what you mean by that.”

“I think you fully know what I mean.”

Max, who was on the other side of Lando, had been eavesdropping the whole time, and couldn’t help but put his two cents in. “If you’re talking about what I think you’re talking about. I just want to say, do us all a favor and finally tell her how you feel.”

Lando shook his head at the two drivers. You two were just very close best friends, there wasn’t anything he needed to admit to you. It was just a trip that two best friends were going on and there was nothing more to it– right?

─── ༺❀༻ ───

A week and a half later your plane touches down in Naples and even though the flight from London is only around three hours you want nothing more than to just get to the hotel and relax.

The Uber ride from the airport to the hotel thankfully doesn’t take long and you have no issue with sitting down in the lobby of the hotel with all the luggage while Lando checks you two in. You do notice that it’s taking quite a long time for Lando to check in and as you glance up from your phone towards the reception desk you see him talking with the worker and showing her something on his phone. Then with a sigh and a shake of his head he turns on his heel back towards you.

“Everything alright?” You ask.

He slips his phone back into his pocket and grabs his suitcase. “I booked us a two bedroom suite and they told me that all they have available is a one bedroom. Even though I showed them the booking on my phone, someone is already in it. So, I’ll just take the couch and you can have the bed.”

This place was fancy, and Lando had undoubtedly paid a pretty penny for the two nights that you were staying here. You would have thought they would have comped the room or something for their mistake. But by the displeased look on his face it didn’t seem they offered him anything but a sorry for the inconvenience.

Even with the hotel screwing up the room, the one you end up with is amazing and as you enter the room your jaw drops slightly at it. You set your bags down and explore the room further, taking in all the beautiful artwork on the walls and the natural light streaming in through the floor to ceiling windows. You enter a door to your left and it’s the bedroom, which is even better than the main room, mainly because of the huge balcony that overlooks the sea.

There’s a gentle breeze in the air as you lean against the railing, taking in the view and the hustle and bustle from the surrounding area.

“Beautiful isn’t it?” Lando’s voice makes you jump, you were so lost in your own little world you didn’t even hear him come out onto the balcony. You nod your head in agreement as he slots himself beside you, mimicking your actions of leaning on the railing. “And it’s not even the best part of our trip.”

“You know you didn’t have to get such a nice room, we are only in Naples for two days.” As much as you try not to feel guilty about him paying for all of this, you do.

“And what did I say a couple weeks ago?”

A groan emits from you as you remember his words to you in Monaco. “You said to let you spoil me.”

“Exactly. I just want you to enjoy yourself and stop worrying about how much everything costs. We are here to relax and have fun, which means figuring out what we want to do tonight.”

You ponder your endless options and all you really want to do is sit on this balcony and enjoy the view, but your stomach growling tells you maybe dinner would be a good idea first. “We are in Italy– how about getting some pizza and then just come back here and relax?” Lando agrees and while you’re freshening up he looks up good pizza places within walking distance.

You two are just about ready to leave when there's a knock on the door, followed by room service!

A confused look is shared between you two, but when Lando looks through the peephole there stands a worker with a room service cart. He opens the door and is greeted with a smile from the employee.

“From the hotel as an apology about the room.” The employee hands Lando an ice bucket with a bottle of champagne nestled in it. “Have a nice rest of your stay.”

Lando looks back at you with an amused look on his face as the guy quickly leaves, the wheels of the cart squeaking as he hurries down the hall. “Well, we have something to drink on the balcony later.” Lando states as he sets the bucket down on the coffee table.

“Champagne and pizza? No thanks.” You see there’s a card attached to the bottle and as you open the envelope and read the words written, your cheeks turn scarlet.

“What does it say?” Lando questions, moving to stand behind you so he can read it too. His eyes scan the letter and he soon finds himself in the same state as you. He clears his throat as he steps back, suddenly feeling too close to you at the moment.

to the happy couple,

we are so deeply sorry about the mix up with rooms and we hope you can accept our apologies. we’ve sent a bottle of the finest champagne that you can get in naples and have comped any room service you may order during your stay. as always if you need anything please don’t hesitate to call the front desk and once again we sincerely apologize for our mistake. we hope you enjoy your stay here and the city of naples.

The letter isn’t spoken about, actually what you two were addressed as isn’t spoken about, but you both agree that their actions were nice. The walk to the pizza place is quiet, the both of you occasionally pointing out things that you think are interesting or pretty, but both of your minds are preoccupied with being mistaken for a couple. Anyone else would have laughed it off, but clearly not the two of you.

By the time you’re back at the hotel and sat on the balcony with the pizza and champagne your conversation had returned to normal. You teasing Lando about not even drinking the glass he had poured for himself and him complaining about you insisting that you get a pizza that has peppers on it.

“You know what would make this evening even better?” The pizza is long gone and the two of you are sat admiring the painting in the sky left behind from the sun.

“Some pink moscato?” There’s a grin on his face as he says it. If there’s one thing he knows you love, it’s a glass of pink moscato on a balcony with a view.

You try to hide the smile on your face as you glance over at him, but he’s caught you. “You know me too well Norris.”

“Should’ve told that employee that we wanted a ten dollar bottle of wine instead of that champagne.” Lando jokes.

“Thought you didn’t like it? That it was too sweet?”

He shuffles slightly in his seat, fully knowing that you’d caught on to his facade. “I may have grown to love it.” He admits quietly.

You’d known for a while, but hearing him say it was much more satisfying. “Yeah. Kinda figured it out last year when you started drinking more of it than me.”

Nighttime draws near and once you start yawning, so does Lando, and after the fourth round of yawning Lando states that it’s time for bed. The subject the two of you hadn’t discussed any further than what was said in the lobby earlier. The guilt started to eat at you as you brushed your teeth, he’d invited you and is paying for everything and he doesn’t even get to sleep in a bed? What kind of friend were you?

Lando was making the couch up as you walked out of the bathroom and for this being a luxury hotel that couch looked stiff and seemed to be more for show than actual comfort. He already had a bad back and it looked like sleeping on that couch was going to have him trying to find a chiropractor tomorrow instead of sightseeing. “Lan. You take the bed and I’ll sleep on the couch.”

He doesn’t even look back at you, still occupied with trying to make the couch somewhat comfortable. “No. I’ll be fine. You take the bed.”

“Lando.”

“Y/N.”

“Lando, look at me.” You knew he wasn’t going to budge with the whole couch thing, so you thought of the next best thing. The two of you sharing the bed. It was plenty big and truly it shouldn’t be that big of a deal if you two shared it. You were grown adults and bestfriends, no one should have to sleep on the couch.

His focus tears away from the couch and over to you, who’s already in bed and under the covers. “Look at how big this bed is.” Your body extends over to the other side trying to show him just how big the bed is. “Just sleep in the bed with me, there is plenty of room.”

Your offer takes him by surprise and he stills for a moment, he’d love nothing more than to climb into that bed right now, but a part of his brain is telling him not to. And he’s about ready to tell you no once again until he makes eye contact with you. Those damn eyes of yours could be used in interrogation rooms across the world, one look into them and he’s crumbling like a poorly built sandcastle. The gentle pat on the empty side of the bed is what flattens the sandcastle and he’s mumbling out an okay before sliding under the sheets next to you.

The two of you don’t know what to do for a moment, both still and flat on your backs under the sheets, like if you moved an inch the gremlin under the bed was going to get you. But eventually Lando turns on his side, mumbling out a goodnight as he pulls the comforter closer to him. You take his actions as a sign for you to roll over too and you figured that falling asleep wouldn’t be an issue after all the yawning earlier, but you were wrong. You tried counting sheep, tried laying on your back, tried anything you could think of to fall asleep and nothing worked. It wasn’t like there was a major time difference between here and London, it was literally only an hour, so unfortunately jet lag could not be to blame.

Lando hadn’t moved the whole time and you figured he fell asleep as soon as he turned over, but you were bored and going a little crazy because even though you were tired, you couldn’t fall asleep. “Lando.” You whispered, but got no response. “Lando. Are you awake?” You whisper a little louder this time, but still no response. So with a defeated sigh you roll back over and shut your eyes, praying that this time you can go to sleep. But within a matter of seconds you feel the bed shift and Lando’s voice echoing through the room.

“I’m awake.”

You roll back over— the two of you now facing each other. “Why didn’t you answer me a minute ago?”

“I was trying to go to sleep myself.”

“Oh sorry. I’ll go out to the other room and watch some TV or something.” You barely move an inch before Lando’s got his fingers wrapped around your forearm, gently pulling you back towards him.

“No, don't leave.”

You can feel your heartbeat quickening as you realize just how close the two of you are. The glow from the moon cascades through the balcony doors allowing you to make out the moles on his face and those pretty long eyelashes of his that make his already breathtaking eyes seem even more beautiful. Sometimes you think he has stars in his eyes from the way that they sparkle. And as the two of you lay here right now, you realize the only reason that the moonlight is flooding into the room is because she’s looking for her lost stars that have found a home in Lando’s eyes.

“You got any ideas on how to fall asleep? I’ve tried just about everything in the book.” For some reason you're whispering and you wonder if it’s from how close you are to Lando’s face or how suddenly nervous you are to be this close to Lando.

He’s silent for a moment, the logical and sane part of him screaming at him to not even suggest what he’s been thinking about ever since climbing under these sheets. The mere idea of it being the thing that had prevented him from being fast asleep by now. But he’s got you at literal fingertips length and he thinks there may not be another opportunity like this again. So– he acts with his heart and not his brain.

“Come here.” He’s moved onto his back with his arm outstretched towards you.

“Huh?” You know exactly what he’s insinuating, but you can’t actually believe that he is.

“You wanted an idea on how to fall asleep and this is my idea. I’ll get you to fall asleep in no time.

“You think us cuddling is gonna get me to fall asleep?” You definitely hadn’t wondered what it would be like to be wrapped up in Lando’s arms before. How it would feel to have his fingertips trance mindless patterns across your skin or have your head on his chest. He was your best friend, which meant those thoughts had never crossed your mind– right?

He shrugs, trying to hide the nervousness in his demeanor, the mere thought of you denying him right now was enough to have him on the next flight back to Monaco in the morning. He should have never put himself in this situation, but god as soon as he climbed into this bed all he wanted to do was have you wrapped up in his arms.

It had consumed his brain, and then consumed it even more because why was he having this desire to have such a tender moment with his best friend? Though his brain stops spiraling when he feels the bed shift and you’re suddenly tucking yourself into his side, arm slung over his torso, and your head laying on his chest. The same chest that his heart is about ready to beat out of and he prays you can’t hear how hard it’s working.

But as you both get settled and Lando’s heartbeat finally mellows out he realizes just how right this feels, like the two of you were matching puzzle pieces. Any other girl he had cuddled with before now seemed to feel wrong because as far as he was concerned, nothing felt better than this. It felt natural and easy and he found himself drawing absent minded patterns on your side where your shirt had bunched up.

He’d spend the rest of his life here in this moment with you if he could. And when he hears your slight snores something short circuits in his brain and he’s pressing a kiss to the top of your head mumbling out goodnight before he’s out like a light too. The moonlight blanketing over the two of you, who right now look more like lovers than best friends.

─── ༺❀༻ ───

The next morning you’re already up and ready for the day by the time Lando wakes up and he tries to hide the disappointment of not waking up next to you, already missing the feeling of having you so close. A feeling though nice, he knew it was one that he probably shouldn’t be feeling. He asks you if you slept well while he’s getting ready and you tell him yes, not going into very much detail, for your own sake and his.

The day is full of sightseeing and lots of walking, which is something that Lando likes to complain about. You visit Pompeii and a handful of other places for you and Lando to nerd out about and truly be tourists. You eat amazing food that Lando says his trainer will hate him for, but he justifies it with the excuse of being on vacation. Hundreds of pictures were taken, your phones already begging for more storage and it was only the first day of the trip. Lando even went as far as bringing an actual camera, stating that lando.jpg would be revived soon.

But in between the sightseeing, eating, and everything else– both of your brains immediately go back to the sleeping arrangements from last night. You both can’t stop thinking about it, but no one brings it up, almost like it’s something you should be ashamed of. No one wants to admit how right it felt to be in eachothers arms last night or how both of you probably had the best sleep of your lives.

You didn’t want to admit that when you woke up this morning to Lando spooning you, your stomach was doing flips over the realization that you had moved in the middle of the night and he had found his way back to you. So many thoughts and emotions running through your brains, yet you both think it’s better to just act like it's not a big deal.

Night falls once again and Lando crawls into bed next to you. You’re both absolutely spent after the eventful day you’ve had and Lando worries that you won’t need him to fall asleep, but his worries soon dissipate because you’re tucking yourself into his side as soon as he’s gotten himself comfortable. You’re like a moth to a flame– the consequences of these actions never even enter your mind as slowly feel yourself drifting off to sleep.

And when morning comes you don’t run away when you feel Lando’s arms around you, even with the butterflies making an appearance again. You enjoy your moment alone, the sun shining in through the windows, the sound of the city already alive, and the way Lando looks as he sleeps. It's truly a beautiful morning.

He wakes up not too long after you and there’s a funny feeling in his chest when he realizes that he’s gotten to wake up with you still in his arms. That you were the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes. It all just feels so natural and right, that once again no words are spoken about this very non-platonic thing that is happening between you two.

─── ༺❀༻ ───

“We’ve got a little bit a drive ahead of us today.” Lando states as he comes out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel. Water droplets are scattered across his tan skin, his damp curls falling slightly onto his forehead. You’re trying not to stare, but good lord how could anyone not.

“It’s only like an hour.” You're still sitting in bed, propped up against the headboard as you now watch him rummage through his suitcase.

He holds up a shirt and shorts, silently asking for your opinion. You give him a nod of approval and he heads back to the bathroom to get dressed, but he leaves the door slightly cracked so he can still talk to you. “Yeah it was an hour. I’ve canceled the driver and made some new plans for today.”

“New plans?” You raise your voice slightly so he can hear you.

“It’s a surprise.” He peeks his head around the slightly open door— a mischievous smile painted across his face, before disappearing behind it once more. “So you had better start getting ready.” He commands as the door fully opens, revealing a fully dressed Lando.

A few short moments later a domestic scene plays out in the bathroom mirror. The double sinks both occupied, various hair products, makeup, and other random items are scattered across the counter. You’re watching Lando through the mirror as he tries to wrangle the mop of curls on his head, but everytime you look away he’s watching you brush your teeth or do your skincare. And the occasional times your eyes do meet in the mirror you’re both like little kids, eyes immediately darting away with smiles on your faces and little giggles echoing through the bathroom.

“You gonna tell me what the surprise is?” Patience had never been your strong suit and thus knowing about surprises was like a form of torture to you.

“If I told you it wouldn’t be a surprise now would it?” He’s still screwing with his hair, but he’s looking at you through the mirror.

“Oh come on, just tell me. Pretty pretty please?” You’ve come up behind him, your chin resting on his shoulder as you flash your best puppy dog eyes at him through the mirror. And for a split second Lando almost cracks– those puppy dog eyes working on him better than you would have ever thought.

“The faster we pack everything up, the faster you get the surprise.” He’s shocked his words come out smoothly, his brain still foggy from your pretty eyes and close contact.

Ten minutes later you’re walking out of the elevator and into the hotel lobby, where Lando tells you to wait while he goes outside for a moment. You assume the surprise is outside and so you try to peek and see what’s out there, but he’s coming back in before you can get a good look.

“Alright let’s go.”

You don’t see anything that you would consider surprise worthy as you walk out the doors, but then Lando leads you towards the cars parked outside the hotel and stops in front of a vintage yellow Ferrari. Your eyes dart back and forth between Lando and the car, unsure if he was just stopping to admire it or if you were going to be riding in it. He answers your unasked question by opening the passenger side door, motioning for you to get in.

“Is this the surprise? Where did you even get this car from?” Your eyes widening over the car itself and the fact that he’d gone through the trouble of even finding the car.

“It’s part of the surprise-” He’s got a smirk on his face as he speaks “and I have my connections.” He motions once again for you to get into the car and this time you don’t oblige. The leather seat soft under your legs as you sit down, the car was surely close to 60 years old, yet still looked brand new.

Lando puts the luggage in the trunk while you're examining all of the car’s little quirks and details while you wait.

“Ok, you ready?” Lando asks as he gets in the driver's seat.

“Gonna tell me the other part of the surprise?”

He sighs, he wanted you to figure it out on your own, but you were so persistent sometimes. “You know how you’ve always talked about wanting to drive along the coast of Italy?” You nod, a smile already forming on your face as you realize what he’s planned for you. “Well, instead of just taking the straight shot over, we’re gonna take the long way all along the Amalfi coast. And I figured it was only fitting that we do it in a Ferrari, considering we are in Italy after all.”

You can’t wipe the smile off your face as you stare at Lando from the passenger seat. Sometimes you wondered if he was even listening to you when you spoke, but then he pulls stuff like this and you know that he’s always listening– remembering things that you care about or like. “God, I don’t deserve you.”

Thankfully the car is still parked because you’re pulling Lando into a bone crushing hug, your cheek smushed up against the side of his head, a giggle emitting from him as he tries to hug you back.

“When you told me your work approved the time off, I knew for sure that this was one thing that I wanted to make happen. That same night I was online trying to find a car to rent for the day, but then I saw this one for sale…” His words trail off and your jaw drops at the realization, but in all reality you know it’s a very Lando thing to do.

“And now we’re sitting in your newest baby?”

He’s got a sheepish look on his face as he speaks. “As soon as I saw it I knew it was the perfect car for this. Plus it’s the ultimate vacation souvenir!”

“You’re crazy.” He actually couldn’t be more perfect.

“Yeah, but you love me.” He teases as he starts the engine.

“Unfortunately.”

─── ༺❀༻ ───

The long winding road along the coast provided scenery that was beyond your wildest dreams. It was serene and picturesque– like something straight out of a movie. The bright blue water on one side of the road and the white stone mountains on the other. The various tunnels that somehow had even more breathtaking views on the other side of them. The handful of towns that you had to drive through, each of them more charming than the last, you only wished you had enough time to stay a week in all of them.

As simple as this was, you would have been more than content with this trip if you went home tomorrow, not that you wanted to, it was just that sometimes the simple things in life meant more than anything lavish to you. You weren’t hard to please, all you needed was Lando singing along to some song on the radio, beautiful scenery, and the wind blowing in your hair for you to be the happiest girl in the world right now.

The whole trip your attention was divided between the coastal beauty and the beauty in the driver's seat. You couldn’t help but glance over ever so often at Lando, especially when you’d hear him start to sing along to a song. He just looked so ethereal sitting next to you, one hand on the steering wheel– the other resting between you two.

There was a moment where you felt the sudden urge to reach out and intertwine your fingers with his, a moment of insanity you’d thought. It surely had nothing to do with how sunkissed he looked from only being in the sun one day, or how the wind had made his curls the perfect amount of messy, or how you’d catch him looking over at you with a smile on his face.

If only you knew that Lando had been fighting the urge to reach out and grab your hand too. He’d never seen you so ecstatic over something as simple as going for a drive, but he’d drive this car till he ran out of road or gas, whichever came first, just to see that smile of yours. The way your eyes sparkled in the sunlight and how you giggled at his singing was just an added bonus, but all of them made his chest feel funny. He’d been around the world more times than he could count, seen so many breathtaking places, but right now none of those places compared to the beauty that was sitting next to him in this car.

You’re in your own little world so much that you don’t even realize you’ve made it to your destination until Lando’s putting the car in park in front of a very luxurious looking villa. “We’ve arrived.” Lando states in a sing-song voice.

“Is this when you tell me Max and everyone else are actually coming too?” You question, flabbergasted over the size of the house. And you can tell what he’s thinking just by his facial expression. “Lando this place is huge just for the two of us.”

He rolls his eyes before getting out of the car to get luggage. “It’s actually a lot smaller than you think.”

When you step foot into the two story villa it immediately has that Mediterranean coast charm with intricate tile floors, artwork that adorns the walls, and windows with the most gorgeous views– needles to say you’re in love.

Then you take in just how big the place is with it’s one too many bedrooms and bathrooms and various other rooms that you probably won’t even use. Lando’s words echo in your head as you explore the house some more, and there’s nothing small about this place at all. “You’re such a liar Lan.” Your words are playful as you walk through one of the many french doors in the house that leads out to the back.

“Lie? I would nev-”

“Oh my god!” He’s cut off by you realizing that the backyard of this villa is nothing shy of paradise. A massive pergola covered part of the back of the house with vibrant bougainvillea lining the top and hanging down the sides. Various other flowers and plants are scattered strategically around the area. Under the pergola there's an outdoor kitchen and a large glass dining table, clearly meant to host a group of people, not two. Further out there’s a pool with sunbeds lined down one side of it– a poolside bar on the other.

All of these things are great, but the real show stopper is the view that this place has. From the front of the house you can’t really tell just how close you are to the water, but from out back it’s a completely different view. There’s a separate sitting area slightly further out from the pool. It’s got a little pergola of its own with couches and chairs and one of those fancy rock fire pits and that is where you get the best view.

It’s like something out of a nature documentary– it’s so perfect that it almost seems fake. The sea is so close that you can hear the waves crashing against the rocks and it’s just endless bright blue water for days. You thought the view in Naples was pretty, but this was breathtaking.

“Knew you’d love this place.” Lando states as he comes up beside you, acting like he hadn’t been lingering behind you the whole time, admiring the view (you) from afar.

It was true though, Lando knew as soon as he saw this place online that it was the one. It didn’t matter that he paid an astronomical amount for it or that the house was way too big for just the two of you. All it took was for him to see the view to know you’d be the happiest girl in the world here.

He could picture you two sitting out here in the evening, watching the sun set over the coast, undoubtedly with a bottle of pink moscato. You’d end up drinking one too many glasses and your cheeks would get red and you’d get the giggles.

As Lando stood here– eyes never leaving the beautiful scene in front of him. He can’t help but feel that funny feeling in his chest over how radiant and happy you look. And he thinks that if this house was for sale he’d buy it in a heartbeat, if that meant he got to see you like this all the time.

A smile finds its way onto your face as you glance over at the guy you call your best friend. “You weren’t lying when you said you were gonna spoil me, huh?” You gently nudge him with your elbow, your smile growing even bigger at his response.

“Only the best for my favorite person.” His smile is equally as big as you lean your head on his shoulder and in that moment he thinks that maybe the reserve driver could just finish out the season and he could just stay here with you.

That night as you both head to your rooms there’s an obvious tension in the air. You’re both slowly making your ascent up the stairs and lingering in the hall, trying to milk every last second until you inevitably have to go into your separate rooms.

After so long though, you’re the first to cave as your hand reaches for the doorknob. Your door creaks open and you’re mumbling out goodnight lan, i’ll see you in the morning before entering the room. Although you don’t close the door behind you and Lando takes that as an invitation to linger in your doorway. He doesn’t need to speak for you to know he’s there, you can feel his presence, and subconsciously you’ve left that door open for him.

“Goodnight Y/N.” You’ve got your back turned to him as you're digging through your suitcase for pajamas, but you can hear the slight grin he has on his face as he speaks.

The sight of Lando as you turn around has butterflies erupting in your stomach and it makes you feel weird to be feeling those things about your best friend. He’s leaned up against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest and that grin that you’d sensed him having was still on his face as he looked at you. Your eyes scanned over him, focusing on little details like his hair still being wind tousled and how the tops of his cheeks were slightly burnt from the car ride today.

And for someone who claimed to not need a ton of sleep– he looked so sleepy as the two of you locked eyes. Those big blue eyes slowly blinking and drooping ever so slightly as his head now too rested against the door frame. He still donned the hoodie that you teased him about putting on earlier after his claims of it being chilly once the sun set, only adding to the sleepy look he had going on right now.

Someone had never looked so cozy and you wanted nothing more than to be wrapped up in his arms, but that wasn’t going to happen tonight. You will tell him goodnight again and he’ll close the door behind him before shuffling over to his room. Your mind will be preoccupied with him as you get ready for bed, the image of him in your doorway forever burned into your mind as you brush your teeth. As you crawl into bed you won’t think about how cold the sheets feel or how you want to be cuddled up to your best friend. You won’t think about how it’s been two hours that you’ve laid here and sleep has yet to greet you. And you certainly won’t think about how you’d be fast asleep right now if Lando was beside you.

But unfortunately you do think about all those things and you’ve exhausted every resource to try and distract you from it. It was different at the hotel when there was only one bed, but now with multiple bedrooms to choose from there was no reason for the two of you to sleep in the same bed. Lines were already blurring between you two without either of you knowing it and if you chose to go seek solace with Lando then those lines would blur even more.

But you didn’t know that your actions would eventually have consequences and seconds later you’re throwing the covers off of you with only one destination in mind– Lando’s room. The journey though, is short lived because as soon as you open your door you’re met with a wide eyed Lando, his fist frozen in the air like he was getting ready to knock on your door.

The frozen fist moves to rubbing the back of his neck as he speaks to you. “Sorry, was coming to see if you were still awake.”

“I was coming to see if you were up too.” He’s still got that hoodie on from earlier, but you noticed he’d changed out his shorts for boxers. His hair was even more messy and you’d wondered if he had even fallen asleep yet. “Couldn’t sleep either?”

Lando shrugs. “Not really– kept tossing and turning.” He acts like the reason he can’t go to sleep isn’t right in front of him as he rests his head on the familiar door frame.

“Yeah I can tell by your hair.” You tease. He just gives you a half assed smile and when he doesn’t tease you back that’s when you realize just how tired he is. “You want to watch some TV or something? ”

He shakes his head no. The only thing he wants to do is go to sleep, but how can he when you’re not next to him? It was embarrassing to admit that only after two nights of sharing the same bed that he couldn’t sleep on his own, but here he was. His big bed felt too empty and he realized that even if he slept in a twin sized bed it would still feel empty without you next to him.

Not to mention he’d found comfort in you being his personal heater at night. It was no secret that Lando ran cold, often seen sporting a jacket during race weekends while his teammate was in shorts. So with his personal heater gone, he’d resorted to wearing a hoodie to bed, which didn’t come close to holding a candle to you.

When he finally worked up the courage to get up and go to your room he was pleasantly surprised to find you up too and facing the same problem as him. A little sliver of him hoping that it was the exact same problem and that you couldn’t sleep without him.

For a split second you caught his eyes looking past you and towards your bed. He couldn’t have made it any more obvious, but if was actually hinting at what you thought he was hinting at, then you weren’t going to pass up on the opportunity. It wasn’t a coincidence that he had come to your door and that you both had trouble sleeping in separate beds. So, you act on impulse and tell him come on just sleep in here tonight and like a little kid who’s gotten scared of the thunder at night he’s crawling into your bed in an instant.

It’s like you two are magnets– immediately finding your way to each other under the sheets and it doesn’t take long for the both of you to finally fall asleep. And some time in the middle of the night Lando had shed his hoodie, no longer needing it with you pressed against him. When you two wake in the morning with the sun streaming through the windows and sleepy smiles plastered on your faces, there’s an unspoken agreement that even with the plethora of beds in this house, you two would be sleeping in the same one every night.

─── ༺❀༻ ───

Lando and you were best friends, nothing more. Nevermind the sharing a bed every night or the longing glances or the sometimes suggestive thoughts you had about him. So maybe your friendship wasn’t practical or normal, but there was nothing romantic going on between you two. It was something you had drilled into your head for some time now. You’d try to ignore the way your heart would speed up when you’d catch him looking at you or the way he always has to have physical contact with you. And any other crazy thoughts that you’d speculated about had always been pushed aside rather quickly. He was your best friend after all and once again nothing more.

Though over the course of the week you’d found yourself having a hard time in pushing aside those non platonic thoughts about Lando. There were instances you two had found yourselves in that you just couldn’t ignore.

─── ༺❀༻ ───

“What’s the plan for today?” You ask as the two of you are sitting outside the cutest little restaurant, enjoying brunch.

Lando finishes the last little bit of his eggs before answering you. “Well nothing that involves you getting behind a motor vehicle with the way you’ve been downing those bellinis.” You roll your eyes at his dramatics. Yes, you’d had your fair share of bellinis, but they were so damn good and there really wasn’t that much alcohol in them for it to be an issue. “How about we just see where the day takes us?”

“Well I already had the idea of renting jet skis in my head, but I guess we’ll do what you suggested.” You joke.

Now Lando’s the one to roll his eyes at you as he flags down the waiter for the check. He doesn’t even look at it when it’s brought over, he just hands his card over like it’s nothing. It’s something that you still aren’t used to him doing even after knowing him for so long and you’re sure he’s gotten ripped off more times than he could imagine.

He quickly signs for it once the waiter comes back and with his card back in his wallet you’re free to go. Except when you stand up all those bellinis hit you and you’re a little unsteady on your feet, something that Lando clocks immediately. You aren’t drunk, just buzzed, but Lando isn’t going to let you live this down. “You wanted to rent jet skis huh?” He teases as he wraps an arm around your waist to steady you.

“Think we still could to be honest.” You’re confident in your ability to walk on your own, but Lando insists on keeping his hold on you.

“Well I don’t want to waste a day at the hospital, so let’s just look around at the shops.”

You’d passed them on your way to brunch and Lando had promised you’d come back to them. They were cute little stores, each one specializing in certain things. You took your time in each one, feeling the silky material of some of the dresses, admiring the leather detailing on the handbags, and gawking at the dazzling jewelry in the displays. Everything was quite luxurious and your eyes couldn’t help but linger on a certain bag and bracelet, but the price tags were all you had to see to know they weren’t coming home with you.

Lando had been watching you the whole time, fully prepared to be your bag boy and was ready to pull out his wallet whenever he’d see you pick something up. But much to his disappointment, all you did was look and after going through all the stores you left empty handed. “You didn’t see anything you wanted?” Lando asks as you continue down the street.

You simply shrug your shoulders at him. “Nothing that I couldn’t live without.” He doesn’t press the matter anymore, fully knowing that he’d be coming back sometime this week to get you that bag and bracelet that you kept circling back to.

The streets are charming and bright. It’s a place that you can’t help but feel alive in, especially as the summer sun beats down on you, but the light breeze coming in off the sea makes it bearable. Your buzz was long gone, but Lando still insisted that you link your arm with his as you stroll down the streets– just in case. You don’t oblige to his request, enjoying the feeling of holding onto his solid bicep as the sound of him slightly humming the song that was playing at brunch fills your ears.

A sense of peacefulness washes over you and it’s at this moment that you don’t feel like you’re on the arm of the famous Formula 1 driver Lando Norris. He doesn’t have a million cameras on him or people flocking to him for an autograph. It’s just you and your best friend Lando– the boy who was gagging when you teased the idea of ordering fish at dinner last night or who you laid in bed with this morning, watching dumb Tiktoks until you were both in tears laughing. It was nice for once, to just have Lando.

You’re just about ready to circle back to the villa when you hear a woman shouting in Italian from down the street. You’re not anywhere near fluent, but you recognize some basic words and what you’ve heard has you pulling Lando towards the voice.

Fior! Bei Fiori!

At the end of the street there stood the lady, who had a cart of the most vibrant fresh flowers. When she spotted the two of you approaching, a smile painted itself across her face. “I think your pretty girl deserves some flowers, don’t you?”

The corners of your mouth turn upwards and a smile is painted across your face. You can feel your cheeks getting warm at her statement, at the implication that you were Lando’s, but it’s his response that makes them comparable to the roses found on the cart.

Lando feels his chest get tight over the lady assuming the two of you were together. It’s nothing new, for people to assume that he’s with a girl just because he’s seen with one. Though for some reason when someone says it about you, it gets a reaction out of him. He’s grinning as he looks at you and then back to the sweet old lady. “You’re right, my pretty girl does deserve some flowers.”

The butterflies that erupted in your stomach at his words were embarrassing and not the appropriate reaction to be having over your best friend, but his comment wasn’t very platonic either. You’re blushing and grinning, probably very easily comparable to a school girl at the moment. He’s got a smug look on his face as he hands you of course the biggest bouquet the lady had. It’s truly a beautiful bouquet and it smells divine, it had anything you could have gotten at the shops beaten by a mile.

As you head back towards the villa you can’t wipe the smile off your face and you can’t stop thinking about my pretty girl. The words shamelessly repeating over and over again in your head. “So you think I’m pretty huh?” You tease.

Now Lando’s the one to blush and he hopes you just think it’s just from the heat and sun as you look at him. “Of course I do. I’d have to be blind to not think so.” He’s sincere with his words, he truly thinks you’re one of the most breathtaking women he’s ever met– intellectually and physically.

You lean your head on his arm, the same one you’ve still wrapped yourself around. “You sure know how to swoon 'em.”

“You’re my best friend. I wouldn’t lie to you.”

And for the first time, for both of you, it feels weird and almost stings to hear the word best friend said out loud. Because deep down you know you’re way more than that.

─── ༺❀༻ ───

Although you weren’t that much of a party girl you didn’t mind going out every once in a while. So when Lando suggested going out to one of the bars tonight it didn’t seem like a bad idea. You’d done your fair share of relaxing and to you that meant a night out deserved to be had.

With a final spritz of your perfume you’re ready to go and as you looked in the mirror one last time you couldn’t help but think damn, I look good. You found Lando waiting for you in the foyer, his head lifting up from his phone at the sound of your heels clicking down the stairs. “Might want to close your mouth before you attract flies Lan.” He hadn’t even realized he was in that much of a trance until you said something, he could feel his cheeks getting warm at getting caught.

You hook your arm with his as he leads you out the front door. “Sorry, you just look unreal tonight.”

“Well you don’t look too bad yourself.” He’d chosen his tried and true white button up, leaving the first few buttons undone, which revealed even more of his gorgeous tanned skin. How someone could make something as simple as a white button up shirt look so good was beyond you, but it was clearly something he was skilled at.

The bar you end up at is relatively small and you realize it must be the most popular one with how packed it is. It’s on the coast and there’s a gorgeous outdoor area that you are immediately drawn to, mainly because there’s slightly less people out here. It’s still a good time though and the people are somehow even more rowdy out here and you wonder if it’s the fresh air.

You’ve danced, drank, laughed, talked, everything you could think of on a night out. It's been nice, especially doing it all with Lando, who somehow through the course of the night has undone more buttons on his shirt and you think he might as well just undo them all. It’s clearly getting late from how the crowd is slowly starting to thin out, but you two are still having a ball, and you figure you’ll stay till they kick you out.

Lando’s gone inside to get you both another drink, which he easily could have gotten from the bartender out here, but he claimed that the guy didn’t know what he was doing. While you wait you venture off to a far corner of the patio that’s somewhat empty. There’s a couple people sitting in chairs sharing a cigarette, but other than that you’re alone. Even in the dark the view is amazing and as you lean on the railing a nice breeze comes in off the water. It’s relaxing and nice, especially when you’re that sticky kind of sweaty and a little more drunk than you realize.

“Absolutely beautiful.” You jump at the unfamiliar, yet familiar voice. It had been a minute since you’d heard another British accent besides Lando’s. When you turn around to put a face to the voice you aren’t expecting to see such a gorgeous man standing there. He’s really the whole package– stunning blue eyes, pretty smile, fluffy light brown hair, nice facial hair.

“Uh- yeah it is.” You assumed he was talking about the view.

“Can I join you?”

He’s cute and you wouldn’t mind some company, so you tell him yes.

“Where’d your boyfriend run off to?” He asks as he nurses his Corona.

“He’s not my boyfriend, but I’m not wrong in assuming you know who he is, right?” This guy is in his twenties and British, if he didn’t know who Lando was then he had to be living under a rock.

He takes a swig of his beer before responding. “I know who he is.”

You scoff, there was a big possibility that he was using you to get to meet Lando, it was something you’d dealt with many times before. Guys showing interest in you only in hopes of becoming Lando’s friend or even worse girls who would befriend you only to try and get with Lando. You weren’t some step on the ladder that led to Lando, you were your own person with feelings and a life, who deserved to have people like you for you, not who you knew.

Maybe it’s the alcohol or maybe it’s the fact that you’re done being led on by people, but either way you confront the guy about it. “Are you using me to get to him?”

You hear him laugh a little and it lights a fire in you, but his words extinguish it before it gets out of control. “I was brave enough to come over here and willingly flirt with you before I even knew if he was your boyfriend or not. If I was trying to use you to get to him, I don’t think that would be a good plan. Which now that I know you’re not his girlfriend, kinda makes me think he’s an idiot. How could he have a girl like you in his life and not be madly in love with you?”

Your brain is fuzzy as you’re trying to process what he’s said. “Sorry wait- you were flirting with me?”

He’s got a cheeky grin on his face and he lets out a chuckle at your cluelessness. “When I said ‘absolutely beautiful’ I wasn’t talking about the view.”

“Oh.” You’d thought it was kind of weird for him to just randomly say that about the view, but for it to be aimed towards you was the last thing you had thought of. “Well, flirt all you want then.”

Not only did this place have one bartender that was incompetent, it seemed like all of them were. Lando had waited for what seemed like ages for a beer and a vodka cranberry. It wasn’t even that busy at the bar for it to be taking so long and at one point he contemplated just going behind the bar and doing it himself. By the time he finally got them he was surprised you hadn’t come looking for him, but when he made his way out onto the patio he saw exactly why you hadn’t.

Over in the corner Lando sees you doubled over laughing with some guy as he watches from afar. His grip on the glasses gets tighter as he sees you place your hand on the guy's arm. The tightness in his chest increases the longer he stands here and watches. It bothers him more than he cares to admit– to see you with some random guy. To hear that laugh of yours and him not being the source of it is driving him crazy. But what really sends him over the edge is when the guy tucks a stray strand of hair behind your ear and without a second thought he’s storming over there.

Lando tries to play it cool as he approaches and he’s glad he’s got these drinks to use as an excuse. Your mid conversation when Lando interrupts, but he doesn’t care one bit. “Here’s your drink.” He says as he pushes the slightly watered down glass towards you.

“Oh thanks Lan.” You flash him a smile, but his face is emotionless and the fun light hearted atmosphere has suddenly turned awkward. For some reason you feel like you’ve been caught doing something you shouldn’t have. “Um, Lando this is-” You remember at that moment that you hadn’t even asked the guy his name, which to you makes this even more awkward.

“Harry.”

“Right. Lando, this is Harry.” You motion between the two men. “Harry, this is Lando.”

Harry extends a hand out to Lando and they very awkwardly shake hands. “Nice to meet you mate.”

Lando only nods his head at him before turning his focus back to you. “I think we should get going, they are gonna close soon.”

You think he’s joking, considering he’d waited all that time to get these drinks, and now he suddenly wants to leave. “I just got my drink, can we at least stay until I finish it?” It also feels rude to just abruptly leave in the middle of the conversation that you were enjoying with Harry. But Lando doesn’t know how to hide his emotions very well and by the look on his face you know he’s being serious.

“Well you can stay, but I’m leaving.” He knows he shouldn’t leave you alone with some guy you just met, but god he doesn’t think he can stand here and watch you flirt with him anymore than he already has. So, without hearing your response he starts making his way towards the exit.

A regretful look washes across your face as you look at Harry. “That was so rude of him, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what’s up with him, he never acts like that.” You take a big swig of your drink, fully knowing dealing with Lando is gonna be a pain. “It was really nice talking to you, but I better go hunt him down.”

He shrugs, clearly not as upset over this whole situation as Lando or you are. “No biggie, I’m sure we’ll see each other around. It’s a small place.” You bid him goodbye, but you don’t get very far before he’s hollering. “Can I at least get your Instagram?” Which has you coming back and quickly exchanging usernames before you're off again to find Lando.

You run into him in the bar and it looks like he was coming back out towards the patio. A look of relief washes over him when he sees you and he’s leading you away from the loud music and out the front exit before either of you can say anything. Only once the bass of the music is a faint sound in the distance does Lando speak up. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left you alone with that guy. I was coming back in when you found me.”

“I appreciate you looking out for me, but you were kinda rude to him for no reason.”

Guess you were diving in head first with this.

Lando stops walking and turns to face you, a confused look on his face. “I wasn’t being rude.”

“Yes you were. We were having a conversation and you just butted in and demanded we leave. Not to mention you wouldn’t even speak to him. He was nice, you would have liked him if you gave him the time of day.”

“You barely know the guy, you talked to him for what ten-fifteen minutes? I just didn’t have a good feeling about him.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at his dumb excuse. He shook the guy's hand and didn’t get a good feeling about him? Bullshit. “Well if you didn’t have a good feeling about him then why’d you leave me with him?” He’d started to walk again, but stopped dead in his tracks at your words, spinning on his heel to face you once again.

“I already told you I regretted leaving you. I just had to get out of there for a second.”

“Why?” You were being adamant, your arms crossed across your chest as you waited for his answer.

He knew exactly why, but he couldn’t tell you that, he hadn’t even fully accepted it himself. “I don’t know Y/N.”

You’re getting frustrated with him and these damn heels that you chose to wear are not making your mood any better. “There’s a reason for everything, Lando. How would you like it if I acted like you did tonight with a girl you were talking to? You’d be livid.”

He completely ignores your accusation and turns the conversation in another direction. It had been itching at him to know if you were just being nice or if you were actually interested in the guy, so he plucked up the courage to ask. “So you were flirting with him?”

The look on your face is one of pure confusion, but your tone is nothing but shitty. “I’m not sure how you jumped to that conclusion from what I said or why it’s really any of your concern, but yeah it was just some harmless flirting. I’m sorry for having a little fun!” You were thankful that it was late enough for the street to be relatively empty, the last thing that needed to happen was pictures or a video getting out of you two arguing. You were sure there were already rumors about you two being on vacation together, you could only imagine how this would be misconstrued.

Hearing that his best friend was potentially interested in someone else had his head spinning and he could no longer blame his reactions on the alcohol. He couldn’t lie to himself anymore, ignore the way his heart raced when he looked at you. Or how he loved hearing that old lady call you his girl the other day.

It had been building up– festering almost this whole week and maybe subconsciously he wanted to go on this trip with you to see if there was some truth to what everyone had teased him about. He just didn’t think it would actually be true. Or that at two in the morning on a dimly lit street in Italy, during an argument, he would finally accept that he was in love with you.

But even with him realizing he’s in love with you, that doesn’t stop him from being an absolute idiot. “He was probably just using you to get to me.” Lando immediately regrets what he said as soon as it comes out of his mouth. He knows that's a sore subject for you and the look of hurt on your face makes his stomach churn.

“Now you’re just being mean.” You’re sure it’s a mixture of things that are contributing to the salty tears welling up in your eyes at the moment, but it’s Lando’s comment that actually makes them fall. You’re storming off before he can say anything, wishing you would have just stayed at the bar with Harry.

Lando knows he’s an idiot, but he also knows he’s the one who lit the match, which means he’s gotta be the one to put it out. “Y/N come on. I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have said that.” He catches up with you rather quickly, your heels slowing you down.

“Just leave me be Lando.”

“Y/N. Stop walking for just a minute.” He’s grabbing at your arm, trying to halt your movement.

You stop and face him and for what it’s worth he does look sorry, but that doesn’t change how you feel. “What? You want to poke fun at me some more?”

“No I-”

“You know I was just having a little harmless fun with that guy, like you said I talked to him for what? Fifteen minutes? Nothing was going to come out of it. But is it really that far-fetched of an idea for a guy to actually be interested in me just for me? Am I that undesirable and unlovable for it to seem like a reality? Or was he like everyone else who’s used me and threw me away as soon as they got their five minutes of the almighty Lando Norris experience?”

The tears that slide down your cheeks are a mixture of anger and embarrassment and maybe you were being a little dramatic. Perhaps the multiple drinks you’d consumed weren’t helping either, but when the person you care about the most says something like that, something you’d confided in him about, it hurts.

Lando feels his heart break to hear you talk about yourself like that. All he wants to do is to scream out that you’re not undesirable or unlovable. He’s wanted you and loved you for some time now, the moment it started he’s not sure, but he knows it didn’t happen overnight. It’s always been there– he was just too blind to see it.

He’s not entirely sure on how to make this right, he knows he was an ass, but he also knows he can’t take back what’s been said. The worst part is that he knows exactly how you feel and somehow he still thought that was a good thing to throw in your face– all because he was jealous. He could deal with people trying to use him, he’d developed a sixth sense for them and never let it get too far, but you were too kind. Your big heart and trusting of others had gotten you burned one too many times and it hurt Lando even more to know that all that had happened because of him.

“I should have never said that to you. I know first hand how it feels to have people use me and the only reason you’ve had to deal with that is because of me. I’m so fucking sorry.”

Your sniffles fill the night air as you try to calm yourself down. While people used you to get to Lando, at least they didn’t want to be your friend to leech off your fame. Use you for your money and generosity, expecting paddock passes and some lavish lifestyle. People saw Lando as an object rather than a person more times than not. While your feelings were valid and Lando was still an ass for saying that, you realized to be in his shoes was worse. So, you wipe away your tears and accept his apology indirectly. “Think we’ve only got each other at this point.”

His voice is soft as he approaches you, his hand reaching up to brush a stray piece of hair out of your face. “Don’t think I need anyone else but you.”

The tender moment has you turning to putty in his hands– the argument pushed to the back of your mind. His hand moves to cup your face and his tumb brushes gently across your cheek. You feel like time has frozen in this moment and for a split second you swear he looks at your lips, like he’s going to kiss you. The fact that this is your best friend is no concern to you at the moment. Then the moment between you two is ruined just as fast as it began, the sound of a very loud and drunk group of people leaving the bar up the street brings you both back to reality.

You back away from each other slowly, like you weren’t sure exactly what had just almost happened. You’d already resorted to blaming it on both of your emotions still running wild and the alcohol still coursing through your veins. The group of people are getting closer, their obnoxious singing getting louder as each second passes. They might not even know who Lando is, but you aren’t in the mood to wait around and find out, the last thing you want to deal with right now is drunk fans. “We’ve had too much to drink, my head and feet hurt. Let’s go home.” You grumble as you begin the trek home once again, your feet aching more and more with each step.

Lando stops for a moment and kicks off his shoes, he couldn’t let you walk in pain the whole way home. Especially after the pain he had caused moments ago. “Here put these on, your feet are killing you.” He hands you the white sneakers before squatting down in front of you to help you get your heels off.

Your feet already thank you as you slip on the oversized shoes that clomp on the stone street. And like a magnet you find yourself wrapping your arm around his as you walk down the street. You’re sure you two are a sight–you in shoes that are way too big and Lando only in socks as he holds your heels for you.

“You know you’re still an ass.” You tell him as you lean your head on his shoulder.

“I know.”

“You know you aren’t unloveable.” He hopes you know he’s being sincere, your words still replaying in his mind as you walk.

“I know.”

By the time you make it back to the villa you’re both exhausted. The alcohol, the argument, that moment between you two, the walk home– you were sure tomorrow morning would be a rough one. There aren’t many words spoken as you get ready for bed and as you slide under the covers next to Lando you can’t shake something from your mind from tonight, and it wasn’t the argument.

It was the fact that during the whole time you were chatting with Harry, you couldn’t help but compare him to Lando. There wasn’t the same sparkle in his eye like Lando, his smile wasn’t the same, his laugh. It seemed like everything that you noticed about this guy came second best to Lando. Sure you were having fun and he was nice, but not once had the thought of Lando slipped your mind. And even right now, with Lando next to you, you’re still somehow thinking about him.

It didn’t take long for Lando to fall asleep and you were on the verge of it when your phone went off on the nightstand. Usually, you would just ignore it, but something in you told you to see what it was.

harryinsta is now following you

You then see that he had sent you a DM and you’re expecting it to be about meeting up some time, which you were going to politely decline, but it’s quite the opposite.

harryintsa: i must have been mistaken earlier. lando's not an idiot.

yourinsta: huh?

harryinsta: he’s in love with you lol

Your heart nearly beats out of your chest as you read the message over and over again. Lando wasn’t in love with you, was he? Sure you’d heard it from just about everyone in your life that you two were in love with each other, but you always thought it was silly. You guys were just best friends is what you would always say, but to hear it come from a literal stranger was different.

You couldn’t lie that you hadn’t recently had your moments of perhaps thinking that he did, though you’d always talk yourself out of the idea. Although, if he was in love with you that may explain his behavior tonight. Or maybe it was just the alcohol like you’d originally thought. Then the tender moment you two shared entered your mind and suddenly the gears in your head are working overtime.

You locked your phone and sat it back down on the nightstand. Just from a simple DM you’d gone from being dead tired to now being wide awake– staring at the ceiling. You’re not sure how much time had passed as you laid there over analyzing every interaction with Lando. You were struggling enough trying to figure out the things you had recently felt about Lando, let alone the possibility that he was in love with you. All you knew for sure was that things weren’t the same between you two, you’d felt a shift when you were with him in Monaco before the Belgium GP. It had only amplified during this trip and you had a feeling that by the end of it things would be different.

─── ༺❀༻ ───

Two days later you’re sunbathing on a comfy lounger on the beach, while Lando’s out in the water doing god knows what. You’d given up on watching him a while ago, deciding instead to be productive and try to catch up to Lando’s tan level. Which, after laying here for some time now, it seemed impossible. That boy could be in the sun for a day and have a glowing tan– you not so much.

Moments later you think a cloud has passed in front of the sun, but when you feel cool water droplets on your hot skin you peek open one eye to find a wet and grinning Lando standing over you. “Hi.”

“Hi.” You greet him back as you sit up, your smile matching his. “Did you have fun out there?”

“I had a lot of fun and the water felt amazing. You should have got in.”

“I will later.” You notice he’s got one of his hands behind his back like he’s hiding something. “Lan, what have you got?” He tries to play dumb for a moment, trying to wind you up, but he eventually caves and pulls a plastic pail from behind his back. “Please don’t tell me you stole that from a kid.” Your half joking and half being serious, because where the hell did he get that from?

“I did not steal it from a kid– I borrowed it.” The smile on his face never falls as he continues to speak. “They had a bunch of them. I don't think they’ll miss it. Plus I needed something to put your present in.”

You cock an eyebrow at him, curiosity written all over your face. “My present?”

He’s smiling so hard as he sits down at the end of the lounger that you think this must be the best present in the world. Seconds later the pail is turned upside down and out falls the prettiest seashells. Your heart swells when you realize all that time he had spent out in the water he was looking for shells– for you. There’s a light pink one that catches your eye and Lando notices when you reach for it.

“Knew you’d like that one.”

Of course he knew that, sometimes you think he knows you better than you know yourself. “Can’t believe you spent all that time finding them.”

He shrugs like it’s an everyday thing. “I knew it would make you happy, which meant I enjoyed doing it. Really only took me so long because I wanted them all to be perfect for you.”

The sun beating down on you feels cold with how hard you’re blushing. “You’re my favorite person, you know that?”

Lando starts to get shy when you get sappy, like he hadn’t just said the sweetest thing a second ago. He’s smiling, but focuses on carefully putting the shells back into the pail. “You’re my favorite person too.”

A while later you decide to open up the umbrella between the two loungers. You had chosen to give up on the tanning lifestyle and instead dive into a new book. While Lando was fast asleep on the lounger next to you, apparently all that hunting for shells had worn him out.

You’d noticed out of the corner of your eye awhile ago that a little boy kept glancing over in your direction, specifically at Lando. You knew he had to have been a fan or he was the kid Lando stole the pail from. The nervous glances back and forth tell you that thankfully he’s a fan and you think it’s the cutest thing. You’re in the middle of considering waking Lando up so the boy could come over when you hear a groan that is undoubtedly Lando awaking from his slumber.

“What are you looking at?” He asks as he rubs his eyes.

You nod your head in the direction of the boy who’s just seen that Lando is awake and is practically bouncing with glee. “Think you may have a fan.”

A big grin spreads across Lando’s face as he sees the little boy. Lando loved meeting all his fans, but meeting the kids was his favorite. He thinks a big part of the reason he always makes sure to find time for the younger fans was because he was that kid once. Before he was ever F1 driver Lando Norris, he was just a kid who finally got the chance to meet their idol and he knows that picture or an autograph means the world to them

Lando motions for the boy to come over and he’s instantly tugging on his Mom’s shirt to get her to come with him. She gives you guys a questioning look and when Lando motions again they both come over.

The little boy’s Italian accent is the cutest thing ever as he greets you two and you can tell just how much it means to him to be talking to Lando.

“What’s your name?” Lando asks as he signs a beach towel of all things.

“Luca and I’m seven!”

“Seven is a great age. You know I started karting when I was seven!”

Luca’s eyes get as wide as saucers as he glances back at his Mom, who is already shutting down any talk of Luca karting. “I told you possibly next year. You’re still my little baby. I don't want you getting hurt!”

Lando gives the Mom an apologetic look. “How about a picture?” Which easily takes Luca’s attention away from karting, as he’s already at Lando’s side with a big smile on his face before his Mom has her phone out.

They take a couple pictures and high fives are exchanged throughout their interaction. The whole thing is very sweet and you can’t help but look on in adoration, fully knowing that Lando would make a great Father one day.

You see that Luca keeps looking over at you and then back to Lando, but you don’t pay that much mind to it. You figured he was just nervous or something, but what comes out of his mouth next takes you by surprise.

“Your girlfriend is very pretty.”

You feel your heart skip a beat and you glance over at Lando to see what his reaction is. You prepare yourself for the worst, but in true Lando fashion he’s all smiles. In fact he’s sporting that full face smile of his and it makes you feel funny.

“Thank you buddy, I think so too.” He looks over at you with nothing but love in his eyes and you’re immediately looking away like some shy school girl.

Thankfully, the Mom comes to your aid and quickly changes the subject. “Ok Luca, you’ve bothered them enough. We should get back to our spot. Thank them for their time.”

His cute little voice mutters out grazie as he gives you a small wave goodbye.

“It was very nice to meet you, Luca.” Lando bids him farewell and you both wave back at the little boy.

As soon as they’re gone you’re immediately shoving your face back into your book, you don’t even want to talk about what had just happened. It was nothing really to be so worked up over, it was just a little kid who saw two people together and assumed they were together. It happens all the time. But it is a big deal when you find yourself liking being referred to as Lando’s girlfriend. It doesn’t help when neither of you deny it and correct the person. Lando likes to play into it and you love it too much to say anything.

Ever since getting that DM the other night your mind had been in a whirlwind over how Lando felt about you and how you felt about him. Hell you can’t even look at him right now, you’re so in your head that you’ve been staring at the same page for the last five minutes. You just wished the book you were reading could tell you how to come to terms with the fact that you’re in love with your best friend.

It was something you’d realized the other night while you were awake overthinking everything. Those feelings had always been there, but you had just pushed them aside, ignoring every little butterfly or rapid heartbeat. When they actually turned into romantic feelings you have no clue because as far as you knew, you and Lando had always been like this.

You two just dove in head first into the co-dependent friendship that was more like a relationship lifestyle. All those times you’d gone to his parents house for family dinners and holidays, both of you attached at the hip. How he wanted to ask you to move to Monaco with him and then almost didn’t even move because he said he’d miss you too much. The group vacations that always ended up with you two going off and doing your own thing. The texts from him every Wednesday before a race asking if he needed to get you a paddock pass and a flight. This trip in particular– sleeping in the same bed when you don’t have to, the cuddling, the getting mistaken for a couple three times so far, the fact that it was just you two alone on the trip.

It was all there the whole time and you wondered how you could have been so blind to not realize it sooner. You were in love with him. You loved his pretty eyes and curls and the way his real laugh only seemed to come out around you. You loved his big heart and his caring nature and sometimes you thought he was too nice to be a Formula 1 driver.

You loved everything about him and truth be told it made your stomach hurt from how much you loved him. You wanted to actually be his and be able to kiss those pink lips that you sometimes found yourself staring at. When people said you were his girlfriend you wanted it to actually be true and not have it be Lando just playing along. You were so down bad that you prayed that Harry was right and that Lando was actually in love with you too.

While you were freaking out, so was Lando. When you immediately went back to reading your book and not speaking a word, he figured he had weirded you out by basically implying that you were his girlfriend. He just figured it was easier to go along with what the kid thought than explain that you weren’t his girlfriend, but god does he wish you were. He didn’t know what to say to try and test the waters because he knew whatever he would say would come out awkward and he didn’t want to make things worse. So, once again it’s not talked about and you two pretend that it didn’t happen when you finally speak again.

─── ༺❀༻ ───

It’s the last day of the trip and you’re dreading going back to reality and away from this little slice of heaven. The only thing you have to look forward to is the supposed fancy dinner that Lando had planned for tonight, which was what you were currently getting ready for. Music plays through your phone and you softly sing along as you do your makeup. When you look up after digging in your makeup bag you spot Lando in the mirror, leaning against the door frame behind you. Your eyes lower and you see that he’s holding two gift bags.

"Those better be for your Mom.” You state as you put the finishing touches on your makeup.

“I think we both know they aren’t.” He sees you roll your eyes in the mirror and it only makes him want to spoil you more. “It’s our last day, I think you deserve a parting gift.”

You turn to face him as he makes his way over to you. “I haven’t gotten you a single thing this whole time. It makes me feel bad.”

Lando only shakes his head at you. “You being here with me is the best gift you could have ever gotten me. I truly don’t need anything else.” He hands you the bags. “Now open them please.”

A small smile finds its way onto your face as you take the bags from him. You decide to open the bigger bag first and once you pull out the tissue paper you know exactly what it is. It’s still in its dust bag, but you see the branding and your jaw is dropping before you even see the actual thing. “You did not get me this bag Lando!” You exclaim as you remove the dust bag and see that it’s the same bag you were eyeing at the store the other day.

He shrugs like it’s no big deal. “Saw you eyeing it and knew I had to get it for you and before you say anything else open the other present.”

You set the handbag down and grab the smaller gift trying to figure out what else he could have possibly gotten you. When you open it and see the bracelet you were also looking at the other day you’re at a loss for words. “Lando Norris!” You could slap him, hug him, kiss him, and yell at him all at once. He’d dropped probably close to six grand on these two gifts and your head is spinning at the thought of it.

“Don’t even say anything about the price. I know you’re thinking it, but I wouldn’t have bought you them if I couldn’t afford it. I wanted you to have them, you deserve nice things.” You deserved a lot more than a handbag and a bracelet, but what he thought you deserved money couldn’t buy.

You know there's no use in fighting him on it, but you still feel bad that he just spends all this money on you. He takes the bracelet from the box and fastens it around your wrist, the diamonds glittering in the light as you move it around. It’s truly stunning and the handbag will go great with your outfit tonight. As soon as you two make eye contact again you’re pulling him into a bone crushing hug and you two stay like that for probably longer than necessary. “Thank you a million times Lan. I love them both so much.”

It’s time to leave for dinner shortly after that and when you arrive at the restaurant the host guides you back to a secluded corner. It’s a very romantic ambiance and you can’t help but feel like you’re on a date, which wouldn’t be a horrible thing. Moments later a waiter comes over with a bottle of champagne and two glasses. “It’s on the house– for the special couple.”

There it is again and it seems like with each time it happens it makes your heart race even more. Lando shifts in his seat and you focus on the rising bubbles in the glasses as the waiter pours the champagne. Lando tells him thank you and your attention moves to the menu.

“What are you thinking about getting?” You ask, ignoring the obvious.

“Probably the steak.” He grabs the flute of champagne and takes a drink. “What was that? The fourth time now?”

You know exactly what he’s talking about, but you’re surprised he’s decided to talk about it. “Yeah it was.” You set the menu down and grab the other flute. “Think I’ll get the steak too.”

Dinner actually turns out to be an amazing time. The food is decadent and Lando and you have good conversations that don’t revolve around you two being mistaken for a couple or being in love with each other. When the waiter brings the bill you’re quite sad because that just means this trip is that much closer to being over.

You take your time heading back to the villa, trying to savor every last moment you’ve got here. The sun was low in the sky by the time you get back and you tell Lando just how you want to spend your final evening in Italy. You hurry and change into comfier clothes and take off all your makeup before heading to the spot with the best view out back. Lando makes his way out there not too long after you, but he’s got one more surprise for you.

“Don’t think the evening or this trip would be complete without this now would it?” He pulls a bottle of pink moscato from behind his back along with two wine glasses.

He knew you too well, but it was something you loved dearly about him. “You’re a man after my heart Norris.”

He hands you a glass as he sits down next to you, the sun just beginning to set on the horizon. “I try.”

There’s a comfortable silence between you two for a while and the only sound to be heard is from the waves below. It feels like paradise sitting here with this amazing view and the guy you love next to you. It’s probably boring to the majority of people, but this was everything you could ask for and more and the perfect way to end this amazing trip. You lean in closer to Lando, your head resting on his shoulder as he wraps his arm around you. A content sigh escapes past your lips as his thumb starts to draw mindless circles on your arm.

“Thank you again for everything. This trip was amazing and I’m glad we got to go together– just you and me.”

“I’m glad too. It was probably the best summer break trip I’ve had. Don’t think Ibiza will be seeing me for a while.”

You’re not even looking at him, but you can sense the smile on his face and you can’t help but laugh at his lie. “Yeah, and I don’t like pink moscato.”

“Alright so Ibiza will inevitably see me, but not as much as Italy.” He pauses for a moment, glancing down at you still resting on his shoulder, his heart swelling just by looking at you. “I think this may be our place now, just for the two of us.” His voice is soft when he says it, like he’s not sure if he wanted to say it outloud.

You lift your head up and are met with his piercing blue eyes staring back at you. He looked radiant as golden hour cascades over him and it’s like you’re in a trance as you look at him. You take in every last bit of him, all the little details about him that you’ve memorized over the years. The slight stubble on his face from not shaving for a couple days, the little moles, his long and somehow always curled eyelashes, those pink lips of his. He’s everything you could have ever dreamed of and more. You’ve had him at fingertip length for so long now and all you want to do is reach out for him, take what you want and never let go.

Lando feels his breath catch in his throat as you two make eye contact. You’d never looked more beautiful than in this moment and he doesn’t know how much longer he can take without you actually being his. You were the love of his life, his best friend, and everything he’s ever wanted. It may have taken him a long time to realize it, but he’s never felt like this about anyone before. You know each other like the back of your hands and it only makes sense that you’d be the one for him.

And it’s in this moment that it clicks for you two that it’s now or never. You’re never going to have a perfect moment like this again. It feels right, like the universe wants this moment to happen and if you let it go to waste you may never get the chance again. Lando takes his free hand and gently cups your face, his thumb ever so softly rubbing across your cheek. You’re practically putty in his hands and you feel like your heart is gonna beat out of your chest. You want to scream out to him that you love him, that you want to be his, but you can barely get your brain to communicate with your mouth.

“Lan-”

That’s all you can get out before Lando’s leaning in and his lips are on yours. He tastes like the sugary sweet wine and his lips are soft as they move in sync with yours. Kissing him is even better than you’d imagined and as your hand reaches up to his neck you deepen the kiss. It feels like you two had kissed a thousand times before and as he pulls away you’re already left wanting more.

Your foreheads rest against each other, both of you breathless and a little light headed from that singular kiss. When you both actually internalize what’s just happened you’re both grinning, that then turns into laughing and it’s like music to both of your ears to hear each other laugh.

“I think that was a long time coming.” You state as you finally lean back onto the couch.

Lando reaches out for your hand, intertwining his with yours. “When did you realize?”

“That night when we got into that argument, which looking back now, you were totally jealous.”

“I was not jealous!” He tries to be serious, but the knowing look on your face has him cracking. “Ok I was jealous.”

“When did you realize?” You question.

“That same night. I couldn’t understand why you flirting with that guy bothered me so much. Well I guess now we know.”

“Yeah cause you’re in loooveee with me.” You’re laughing as you speak, but he shuts you up with another kiss and leaves you pouting when he pulls away.

“Only kissed you twice and you’re already pouting when I pull away? I think you’re in loooveee with me.”

You lean back in, capturing his lips in yet another kiss and you’re like teenagers who’ve gotten into their first relationship.

Lando sighs when you stop kissing him, he can’t believe he could have had this sooner if he would have just opened his eyes. “You think you could get another week off from work?”

You’d do anything to get another week in a paradise with him, but you know it’s not possible. “Hmm, why don’t you just spend a week in London with me?”

“Well you haven’t even told them that you now have a famous F1 driver boyfriend. Who if they didn’t know already is very needy and needs to see his girlfriend.” He teases.

“Well you forgot to add that you’re my hot and famous F1 driver boyfriend.” You counter back.

You’re both grinning like fools at each other and as you curl up into his side and take in the last sunset you’ll see in the place that now holds such a special place in both of your hearts, you’re glad you let him convince you to come on this trip.

As the sun finally sets over the water you actually say those three little words.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

[teaboot]

I've never had a cat before and I'm hoping to get one soon. Do you have any advice?

Treat a new cat as you would a new roommate. Give them space and time to settle, establish a pattern and a rhythm, and in time they may choose to become friends and spend time with you. Dont force a friendship.

Use simple words and repetition to establish communication. Words like breakfast, treat, snack, lunch, supper, dinner, food, and eat all basically mean, "I am feeding you; expect to be fed", but it's a lot for a little guy to remember. I just say "Dinner" when I mean "cat food is coming", and so my boy knows exactly what I mean when I say it. As a plus, using only one word for snack time means he has no idea what the other words mean, so I can talk about food in front of him without ruling him up.

Pay attention to body language. Cats all have different personalities, and you'll learn their likes, dislikes, and messages over time this way. Son boy here loves anything with plumbing but dislikes getting wet- his favourite blanket to chew and snuggle goes on his favourite chair, and he gives me a specific gesture when he wants me to kneel down so he can jump onto my shoulder.

Read into problematic behaviour. Cats pee in weird places when they're hurting, in distress, or have insufficient of unclean litter box space. Biting, attacking feet , and knocking things off tables often means they're understimulated and need you to play with them, or at least need some kind of enrichment or puzzle to tackle. Tail flicking can be frustration or irritation. Purring is usually good, but may also be self-soothing behaviour to alleviate pain, encourage healing, and relieve anxiety, like over-grooming.

Like children, "bad" behaviour isn't malicious- it usually means there's something you aren't seeing.

Learn how your cat expresses love. Loads of people think cats are uncaring, cruel, and indifferent, but the truth is, they're just not dogs. Spending time near you, showing an interest in tools you're using or projects you're working on, sitting the way you sit, laying on their back, rubbing on your legs, wiping their face on your shoes when you get home- these are signs that your cat is enamored with you. You're their family, they feel safe and protected around you, they're curious about things you enjoy and want everyone to know you're family.

Set reasonable expectations. Again, cats are not dogs.We bred dogs to desire our approval- cats walked into our lives themselves. They have no human-programmed need to fulfill a duty or perform a task to your standards.

Training cats to do tricks isn't as hard as people say, but the willingness or interest in doing the trick is more heavily reliant on personality and mood. Some cats will refuse all but the most basic requests- I'm lucky in that Ollie understands and is willing to do several, provided I don't abuse his trust and he's not crowded or overwhelmed or just bored of doing it over and over in a short period.

Ollie, for example, knows Up to stand on his back legs and hold my hand, Down to get to a surface I indicate, Out to emerge from a closed space, Come to find me where I am, Help? when I'm offering to let him use me as an elevator, Dinner when I understand he's hungry and am getting food, and when I put on his collar he knows to climb into his carrier 'cause we're going somewhere. And he'll do any of these about 90% of the time, either ignoring me or phoning it in when there's something interesting somewhere else, or if he's feeling anxious.

Lead by example. If you dread taking them to the vet, they'll see the anxiety in your body language and behaviour and likely learn to hate it, too. Again using my guy an example, I starred taking him on walks long before his first vet appointment, just to get used to his carrier and leash. Then his first checkup was relaxed and informal, with plenty of treats, and I let him explore the examination room with permission from the tech. Now he loves going, so I'm not stressed about taking him, so I don't stress him out in turn, and the vest doesn't have to deal with a stressed out cat slowing things down and fighting with them.

Make sure your sources are good ones, and also good ones for you. I will recommend Jackson Galaxy's YouTube channel for cat advice because a lot of what he does matches up with what I've learned and know to be true. I don't personally recommend Ceasar Milan because I personally find his methods distressing to recreate regardless of efficacy, so even if that advice was useful, *I'd* be miserable, and it'd just be trading one issue for another.

Have a person who can help. You never know when you might end up out of town overnight unexpectedly, or when your place may need serviced or fumigated, or if you may be called out of town. Before getting a cat, research reliable pet sitters, house sitters, pet daycares, whatever, just in case.

Consider pet insurance. No long spiel here, just think about it. Especially if you don't know your cats ancestry or potenyial health risks. An on top of that, fucking vaccinate them.

Dont let them free roam. At all.

I grew up on a farm with free-roaming barn cats. Do you know how many times child-me cried over having to bury them? Illness, disease, pregnancy, vehicles, other territorial cats, ticks, fleas, litter, poisoned prey, malicious humans, local wildlife, predatory birds, scrap metal, extreme heat, freezing temperatures, tainted water sources, poisonous or venomous critters, getting stuck in small or high places, tapeworms, loose nails, old equipment, falling branches...

I've seen some truly body-horror slasher-movie shit- just truly nauseating visual fuckery- and I'm telling you not to let your cat free-roam.

Leash training isn't hard. Supervised walks aren't hard. Even keeping your cat physically fit and entertained indoors isn't an impossible feat. Don't let your fucking cat fucking free-roam. Fuck

Also read up on foods and plants cats can't do, like every houseplant in existence is toxic it's insane

Anyhow yeah that's like. A couple things I guess

Here, have an Ollie Pic

[medicinemane]

I do wonder what people would do if they felt all the pain they'd caused in the world

Not even the big stuff, we're not even talking stuff like politicians being forced to feel just how much damage they've done, we're talking about the small scale stuff

All the off hand comments that were thoughtless and hurt someone, all the harm done without even realizing how much harm you're doing

I think if I could I'd like to know, I'd like to see the places I've hurt others around me

But I don't know... I listen to some people and it's just like... I don't think you even begin to imagine the damage you're doing around you. I don't think you even remotely begin to think about not even strangers, but the harm you'll do to people you claim to care about

What are you gonna do though? People are allowed to say and act however they want at the end of the day and even if I tried to explain I don't think they could hear me