#neuvillette just showed the hell up out of nowhere
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Genshin Impact 4.2 spoilers!
No really, I'm not over the absolute silliness of Furina's situation.
Imagine being Furina. You're faking being an archon. You have not an ounce of hydro power in your body. You cannot enact miracles, fight monsters, or even exhibit a single bit of godly energy. A Blubberbeast can bowl you over.
And then, out of absolutely nowhere, the sovereign dragon of water shows up on your doorstep and is like "Okay, I received your letter. I am here. I heard there is a job for me?"
I M A G I N E the blue screen this girl experienced.
"Letter? Ah, yes, right! The letter I most definitely sent! And the job I most definitely asked you to do! Er... I just want to confirm you fully understand my sacred request--what, exactly, do you think you've been invited here for?"
Did she know he was a dragon from the moment he showed up, or do you think she only found that out later??
Focalors: Don't worry babygirl, I am sending you help! 😘
Does she even know that archons and sovereigns are sworn enemies???
Do you think he got in line with everyone else to see her when he first showed up???
Furina: That's. A. Dragon.
Even more, like imagine the temporary relief. You're a young woman with no experience at playing an immortal being or ruling a country. You have no special memories or powers that will help you here, just a talent for acting.
Then a grown ass man with nearly flawless control of hydro and clearly otherworldly presence shows up, and you're like "Damn, I can work with this!"
...Only for him to end up being the most awkward person you've ever met, who struggles to carry on a conversation that isn't about water or judgment. He understands less about humans that you do. He cannot act to save his own life, and he doesn't remotely want to. He hasn't even noticed that you're not actually an archon. One day, he shows up for work with like 50 baby vishaps in tow and throws the entire country into interspecies chaos. The tabloids can't decide if you created this weirdo to be your familiar or if he's just a really hot oceanid. Nothing you say or do now will help make the situation any clearer.
Somehow, this circus goes on for 400 years, and your country only gets mildly blown up and drowned.
Furina is STRONGER THAN GOD, is all I'm saying.
Fontaine's entire plot is so sad and yet soooo funny.
#genshin impact#genshin impact spoilers#shitpost#furina#neuvillette#it's just too fucking funny guys#furina didn't even send that letter!!#from her perspective#neuvillette just showed the hell up out of nowhere#how long was she sweating bullets#like please do not eat me Mr. Dragon#do you think he started with the whole#“I'm here to judge the archons!” deal#and she's there like “Wow I have so much bad news for you”
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dominance.
⋯⁂ summary. you've gotten your hands on him - now it's his turn to submit.
⋯⁂ a/n. short and sweet, barely edited, etc. brain is on some bullshit fr
⋯⁂ characters. zhongli. neuvillette. alhaitham. afab reader (neutral prns).
⋯⁂ cw. men getting pegged WOO YEAH!!!! each character will have their own individual tags prior to the writing. all lowercase.
zhongli.
cw. mating press. mild edging. masturbation.
"dearest, please... ah—" zhongli moans - rather pathetically, too. "let me... let me... hng—" he grunts, hips wiggling to meet your own with each thrust, but it's proving to be difficult as you suddenly push his tense thighs to his chest.
"sorry - what was that, cutie?" you mock lightly, a wicked grin on your face as you pound into his tight ass, "you gotta speak up." you coo as your pace slows down significantly and your spare hand flicks one of his hard, reddened nipples.
"agh," he groans, "s-stop tormenting me...!" his head throws back, exposing his neck for you to attack with nibbles and kisses. "mmh! beloved!" he whimpers when you do exactly that, one of his hands moving to gently grab the back of your head. "faster - harder, p-please...!"
he sounds so desperate. you can't help but finally grant his wish after hearing so much of his begging over the past hour.
"your wish is my command, pretty boy." you give him one hard thrust, causing him to hiss in a mix of pain and pleasure, "but, i do have a little request..."
"y-yes...?"
"touch yourself as i fuck you." you command, grabbing his hand on your head to wrap it around his own thick cock.
"mmh... so naughty..." he rasps. "a-alright, i will...do so - ah!" he breathily yells your name and his eyes roll back as you immediately pick up the pace and ferocity of your thrusts.
"what a good boy you are."
neuvillette.
cw. doggy style/from behind. you show him 0 mercy. he cries a lil bit (but it's outta pleasure i swear).
neuvillette pants - each breath hard and ragged. his hips are forced still by your command and your tightened grip on his narrow hips. his face digs into his folded arms, muffling some - but nowhere near all - of his whiny, desperate moans.
"enjoying this, neuvi?" you whisper into his red, flushed ear - double-checking, you understand that your pace may be overwhelming for him.
"j-just dandy!" he moans, eyes tearing up and rolled back as he tries to keep up with you.
"aw, gonna cry? so sweet..." you murmur, "what if i went faster?" you tease, knowing he's quickly already turned into a babbling mess of a man.
"mhm!" he hardly responds as his hands move to grab the pearly white sheets beneath him, nearly tearing them to shreds.
"hehe, you poor thing..." you snicker.
the moment you pick up the pace, he's already cumming all over those poor sheets...
alhaitham.
cw. riding. alhaitham a bit of a tsundere. spanking (like once lol.)
alhaitham refuses to give you the pleasure - the honor - of getting to hear him moan. and he also refuses to admit how good he feels right now. you've teased him far too much tonight, so now he's restricting a bit of your freedom as he rides the hell out of your strap.
and then you give his plush ass a nice whack with your hand. he groans loud and clear at last.
"good. give me more of that, you lazybutt." you insult light-heartedly, but you mean it with all the love in the world.
"ngh!" he groans again as he shifts position into a more comfortable one, riding you faster and harder than before. "n-not as lazy as you - especially right now—!" he retorts with a broken voice.
you slip a hand around his torso.
"what are you doing - ah!" he thrashes a little bit when your hand grasps his cock tightly before pumping it at an impossible pace.
"so sassy... do you need another lesson to learn?" you mock (lovingly).
"you are the one who needs a lesson—mmh!" he moans - high-pitched and whiny when you massage his balls with your other hand, causing him to cum right away...causing it to hit his chest and a bit of his face.
"oh? what was that?" you grin behind him.
he pants heavy and loud, unable to respond. for now, that is.
#🔞— smut#💕— zhongli#💕— neuvillette#💕— alhaitham#zhongli x reader#zhongli smut#neuvillette x reader#neuvillette smut#alhaitham x reader#alhaitham smut#genshin smut#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader
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How do you think Neuvillette will react to being rejected?
Prepare for some terrible weather for the next decade or so
So I think Neuvillette would be heartbroken. He thought he'd finally found someone who he can share romantic bliss with, the kind he sees in all the couples in Fontaine, but alas, those hopes are now dashed
Neuvillette, someone who internalizes like hell and is self-admittedly not good at showing his feelings, would not show much emotion when you reject him. He'd be like "okay" but it would probably start pouring out of nowhere. He probably made it a beautiful sunny day to confess to you too
I think he might ask you the reason for why you rejected him, and would be like "I can change" but if it's something that can't be changed like his job or who he is, he'd just sigh and nod in understanding, it's something he'd always expected in the back of his mind
Afterwards, our dear chief justice will become even more reclusive than before. He avoids all public gatherings in the fear of possibly running into you and opening up those wounds. If you go to the opera to watch a trial he won't preside over it. He probably buries himself with work to distract his mind from thinking about you all the time. Everything reminds him of you ("that flower? That's just like y/n" "that book? Y/n would have loved it...")
I don't think he'd try again, but let's just say you get into a relationship with some scumbag criminal. That would actually make him mad. He can accept it if your partner was a good upstanding citizen, but that person? Really? There's only one way to fix this: kidnapping and confining you to his house! He's definitely doing this for your good and not because he's jealous or anything! Not at all!
He'd probably apologize a billion times for scaring you, but not for the kidnapping. As for your partner, don't worry, they are "safely" underwater (interpret that how you will)
Bonus: after the rejection, he curls up in bed like a brokenhearted schoolgirl and is surrounded by the melusines (who knew about his feelings) who are trying to comfort him by bringing his favorite stuff like idk water or something
Speaking of melusines they probably follow you and report back to him about you. Whether or not he ordered them to do that is up for interpretation
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