#nesta x helushka

[highladyofhewncity]

DELETED SCENE FROM ACOTAR BOOK 1: Nesta tries to reach Prythian

Nesta was going to go insane.

It was unbearable to watch her sister and father happily trot about their new house, acting like Feyre had gone off to see a distant aunt. So many times she thought she was misremembering, but whenever that happened, she would walk to the table, which hadn’t been replaced for sentimental purposes, and run her fingers along the claw marks on the table.

The scene would flash again in her mind. The beastly figure with golden fur and canines the length of her forearm. Green eyes far too intelligent and observant to be a mere forest creature. Dark brown claws that curled into a C and could absolutely rip out her throat. His enormous body covered the doorway and cast shadows across the house. Nesta had been shaking, but she’d shoved Elain behind her, gripping her skirt to remind herself she was there. If one of them were to escape, best it was her. Elain, the grower and creator, who saw the good in things. She could do great things with the right resources.

But the beast hasn’t come to kill them all. He’d merely come for one person- her. Feyre- the one who had slain his friend.

It should’ve been her. Guilt slid up Nesta’s throat, slick as oil. She should’ve lied and said it was her who’d killed the faerie. She was the eldest; it was her duty as the head of the house. Though Feyre was equipped with weapons of her own; her archery would surely come in handy.

Nesta couldn’t stand it- just sitting here waiting to see if she came back, playing tea with Elain and her father. She pressed her eyes shut, taking deep breaths. There was one thing she could do- if she was still around.

Nesta put on her warmest dress and put on the cloak Feyre had made from the faerie. She wrapped a blue scarf around her neck and put on leggings and boots underneath the dress. She braided her hair back and put on a pair of earmuffs, then headed outside.

The winter had been particularly torturous this year. Nesta wondered if it had anything to do with Prythian and whether that faerie being so close to the human lands was a coincidence at all.

Her feet crunched in the snow as she walked through blisteringly cold winds, squinting as her eyes continuously watered. She could feel her hands turning to ice, and crossed her arms so that they went beneath the fur coat. She could hardly see, forced to rely on instinct and memory to guide her way towards the mercenary’s house.

She finally reached a relatively well-kept inn made from wood. The door creaked as she pulled it open, walking inside. An elevated wooden countertop acted as the service desk, and a bored young boy whose eyes seemed seconds from closing stood behind it, head in his hands.

“Excuse me,” Nesta called. The boy jumped up, scrambling imaginary papers before his eyes landed on her. His eyes widened, his jaw dropped, and his ears turned pink as he stared at her.

“Holy shit, you are an angel,” the boy whispered. A snide remark simmered within Nesta, but she stamped it down as she recalled that the boy couldn’t be older than 16. “Thank you. I was wondering if there was a mercenary staying here?”

He nodded. “She’s in room 3.”

Nesta nodded in gratitude, walking towards the back where the rooms were situated. One, two, three..aha! Nesta rapped her knuckles on the door.

A few moments later, it was opened, and Nesta found herself face to face with the mercenary for the first time since that encounter in the town square.

Now that she was looking at her properly, Nesta was struck by how beautiful she was. Thick arched brows, caramel skin, hooked nose, full lips, and glossy black hair that flowed to her waist. She was in her pajamas and not the mercenary fit she had been in before, and she looked softer, younger. Nesta realized that she was probably only a couple of years older than her.

“Hello,” Nesta said. The mercenary’s brows flew up.

“I remember you,” she answered.

Nesta nodded, acknowledging their past meeting. “Then you must remember my sisters.”

“Yes.”

Nesta let her face crumple at last. It felt good to let her emotions show; god knew she had been bottling them up for so long. “Feyre has been taken into Prythian.”

The mercenary knit her brows. “Come in,” she whispered.

It was a relief to take off the scarf, coat, and boots. Soon, Nesta and the mercenary (who she’d learned was named Helushka) were sitting on the small sofa, sipping hot tea as they exchanged stories.

“I’m astonished your sister survived,” Helushka remarked after Nesta finished her story about how Feyre had been kidnapped. “If the faerie had gotten that close to her, it could’ve killed her before she even got the chance to release her bowstring.”

Nesta nodded. “Feyre said that the animal acted…odd. Didn’t even fight. Whoever that wolf was…it seemed like it wanted to die.”

Helushka tapped her chin with her forefinger. “Why? What faerie would cross to the human lands just to die at the hands of one of us?”

“I don’t know,” Nesta admitted. “But something is certainly up in Prythian- and it’s affecting our winter too.”

Helushka raised a brow. “You think our winter is so long because of Prythian’s magic?”

Nesta grunted in assent. “Don’t you agree that the whole thing seems rather odd?”

“I do,” Helushka mused. “But I’m not sure there’s anything we can do but wait it out.”

“You could help me,” Nesta suggested. “I need to get my sister out of there.”

Helushka’s eyes widened, and she nearly dropped her teacup. “Are you mad?” she exclaimed.

Nesta stared her down. “I am utterly serious. You’re a mercenary. You’re the survivor. Help me. Please. If you care about humans…” her voice trailed off.

Helushka shook her head. “Of course I care about humans, but this is suicide, Nesta. What are you, a Child of the Blessed? No human who went to Prythian has ever come back.”

Nesta stood up abruptly, slamming her tea on the coffee table. Some hot brown liquid splashed out as Nesta stormed towards her forgotten attire. “I’ll find a Child of the Blessed to accompany me, then,” she snapped. “I am going to Prythian, and no one is going to stop me.”

Helushka jumped up too, following Nesta. “I am trying to save your life, Nesta! Your sister is as good as gone- accept it!”

Nesta shook her head stubbornly. “No; she is alive. I can feel it. If he wanted to kill her, he would’ve done it right there. He needs her for something.”

“Stop this madness,” Helushka breathed. Nesta turned around to snap at her when she realized how close Helushka had gotten. Their chests brushed up against each other as Nesta stared into Helushka’s eyes. She noticed a fleck of green in her deep brown eyes. Nesta watched as Helushka’s eyes dropped to her lips. Nesta slowly stepped back.

“I can’t,” Nesta murmured. “Surely you understand; after all your brother was killed by the Fae.”

He’d been a mere boy when he’d been murdered in cold blood- albeit by Hybernian fae rather than Prythian fae, as she had lived far too distant from the wall to be targeted by these particular faeries. She had tried to protect him, and in doing so had received brutal punishment. After killing her brother right before her eyes, they pinned her down, raped her, and painted her body with his blood.

After that moment, she had resolved to never be at their mercy again. Nesta could understand that. She had never felt more powerless than in the moment that monster had invaded their humble cottage.

Helushka sighed, pinching her nose. “I’m going to regret this. But I’ll try- for your sister.”

Nesta bowed her head in acknowledgment. “You have my eternal gratitude.”

Preparing for the trip took weeks. Nesta was getting stir-crazy at home, but at least she had something to look forward to every day: planning with Helushka. It felt like she was doing something, for once. And that felt good.

Finally, they had enough food, clothes, first aid, and weaponry to begin the trip. Helushka met up with Nesta at the edge of the forest where Feyre used to hunt, offering a gloved hand.

“It’s best if we stick together,” she explained, as though holding hands were essential to that. Nesta grinned and didn’t reply; she liked that Helushka wanted to hold her hand.

Walking was more exhausting than she thought. Despite her extensive dance lessons, she did not have enough stamina to brave this forest. After about half a day, her limbs were so heavy that she collapsed.

Helushka caught her by the waist. “Easy, tiger,” she murmured teasingly, lifting her up as if she were no more than a bouquet. Nesta blushed as Helushka carried her over her shoulders. “How are you not tired?” Nesta demanded. Helushka merely chuckled. “Years of training, sweetheart,” she purred. Ugh. Insufferable woman. But Nesta let her carry her for an hour or two before they settled down for the evening.

Nesta’s stomach growled. “I’m hungry,” she complained.

Helushka rummaged in their sacks and pulled out a couple of sandwiches, handing one to Nesta. “There: dinner.”

Nesta chomped on her sandwich morosely. Despite only having had comfort for a couple of months, her body had already become accustomed to three full-course meals. It was so easy to get used to luxury. Now she was back in the cottage.

Not long after, Nesta began to yawn. “Go to sleep,” Helushka told her. “I’ll take first watch.”

Nesta tried to protest, but she yawned again. “Ok…wake me up for the second watch,” she mumbled. “Of course,” Helushka answered.

Spoiler: she did not wake her up. Nesta slept through the night and into the morning until Helushka gently shook her awake.

“Nes, there’s coyotes,” she hissed. “Get up.”

Nesta jumped awake at coyotes. “Coyotes?” she whispered. “What do we do?”

“We can’t outrun them,” Helushka said. “We’ll have to climb a tree. Hold on to your sack.”

Helushka found a good tree and began to scale it with ease. Nesta had far more difficulty. She wrapped her legs around the tree like she was trying to strangle it. She grunted and cursed as her fingers constantly slipped from the precarious handholds of the tree. She gripped one branch for too long, and when it snapped, Nesta gasped as she tried to move toward the tree trunk, scraping her knee.

Helushka came down a few branches, offering a hand. “Come on,” she whispered. Nesta strained to reach Helushka’s hand, feeling something pop in her arm as Helushka gripped her hand firmly and pulled her up effortlessly. God she was strong.

“Now what do we do?” Nesta whispered.

“We hope they don’t see us,” Helushka answered. Then she handed Nesta a knife. “I hope we don’t need this,” she breathed.

Nesta stayed as quiet and still as she could, praying that the coyotes would just walk on by. After a few minutes, Nesta saw one coyote in the clearing. She didn’t dare breathe. The coyote sniffed around their encampment for a few moments, before looking right up at them.

Fuck.

Helushka released an arrow from her bow, striking the coyote right in the eye. The coyote whimpered in pain, falling to the ground, just as another coyote began to climb up the tree.

Nesta jumped onto the back of the coyote, driving her knife right into his neck. She felt blood seep onto her hands before she pulled out the knife, reaching out for Helushka’s hand. More coyotes began to arrive. Helushka and Nesta crouched weapons in hand, ready to attack.

But the coyotes spotted their wounded companions, began moaning, then bounded away. Nesta thumped her head against the tree in relief.

Helushka released a couple more arrows, finishing off the two injured coyotes. Then they climbed down (more like fell down in Nesta’s case), and Helushka pulled out her bloody arrows, shoving them back in her quiver.

“These would make nice blankets,” Helushka remarked. She wrapped one around her shoulders, offering the other to Nesta. She was right: the coyote fur was incredibly warm.

They ran out of food sooner than anticipated.

It was Nesta’s fault. She couldn’t bear the terrible conditions and devoured twice the food allocated to her. Unphased, Helushka had shot down a deer and started a fire.

“I’m so sorry,” Nesta said for about the 70th time. Helushka waved her off. “Don’t be. You’ll need your strength, Nesta.”

She was still shaking from that coyote attack. She’d changed her clothes since then, but she could still see the coyote inches from her, about to pounce. But she forged on; she wasn’t about to be defeated by glorified dogs.

Helushka had barely got any sleep, having insisted on taking the watch duty every day. But that was about to change.

“You sleep. I’ll take watch,” Nesta announced. Helushka opened her mouth to protest, and Nesta covered her mouth with her hand. “Uh ah. You shall not protest.” She guided Helushka’s head over to her lap, stroking her hair after she settled down. “You’ve been working so hard.”

“Mmph,” she got out in a muffled tone before she was out in a light.

Nesta hated guard duty. It was the fucking worst, sitting there wide awake, waiting for something bad to happen. The crickets chirping gave the nighttime a certain eeriness that made Nesta’s heart pound. What if a wolf pounced on them? Or worse, a faerie?

She was beginning to doubt every decision she had ever made. She was an idiot to think she could make it to Prythian. She was only a few days in and she was already half-dead.

Nesta felt her eyes getting heavy. No, she could not sleep now. For fuck’s sake. A few minutes’ nap wouldn’t hurt, would it…?

Spoiler: it was not a few minutes’ nap.

Nesta woke up screaming as a snake bit her right on the forearm. Within moments, Helushka dug out Nesta’s knife and sliced the snake in half. Nesta began to cry.

“You’re lucky that snake wasn’t venomous,” Helushka grumbled. “Next time, I’m staying on guard duty.”

“Oh shut up,” Nesta muttered. “You needed the sleep.”

Helushka glared at her for a moment. Nesta glared right back. Then Helushka chortled and shook her head, smiling. “Let me wrap your bandage.”

The forest got quieter and quieter as they reached Prythian, as if even the animals knew to stay far away from the Fae. Nesta trudged along, absolutely done. There were blisters on her feet and hands, bite wounds on her arm, scratches on her knees, and she was quite certain she had dislocated her shoulder. Her stomach rumbled from hunger, her legs and arms utterly sore. Her cheeks were raw from the cold, her lips cracked and bleeding. Even Helushka was losing steam; she hadn’t offered to pick Nesta up today, and her steps were slow and heavy.

Nesta’s heart rate kicked up as she heard the roar of a bear. She instinctively reached for Helushka’s hand, shaking.

“If it comes near us, run towards it,” she whispered.

Nesta blinked. “What?”

“Bears will chase almost anything, but if you chase it, it will run. Because prey doesn’t run towards the predator. It suggests that you’re something worse.”

Nesta wasn’t sure they looked so impressive after days of struggling, but adrenaline made her body feel strong again. She raised her arms and bellowed as the enormous shaggy brown bear appeared before them. And against every instinct in her body, Nesta ran towards the bear, Helushka following suit.

And the bear began to run away. So Nesta continued yelling and chasing until the bear was out of sight.

Helushka and Nesta both dropped to the floor in exhaustion. They inched towards each other and curled up into a ball, drawing warmth from each other.

“I’m too tired to hunt,” Helushka mumbled. Nesta didn’t answer. She wasn’t sure she could.

Days went into nights, and there was no Prythian in sight. Helushka’s face had hollowed out from weight loss, and Nesta was sure she was no better. As they sat by the fire on the fifteenth day, eating leftover squirrel, Nesta finally gave in.

“There is no use,” she said hoarsely. They hadn’t spoken in days, trying to conserve energy. “We must go home.”

Helushka nodded in agreement. “I really am sorry, Nesta.”

Nesta didn’t answer that.

The journey back was tortuous. They were nearly killed by a moose, only surviving because the moose heard a bigger predator coming and ran away. Nesta and Helushka had followed him, not wanting to be the meal of whatever was big enough to hunt a moose.

Nesta began to fantasize about hot meals cooked by maids made with fresh spices from Elain’s garden. The utter relief she felt when they finally got home could not be overstated.

Nesta pulled Helushka into a hug. “Thank you for braving that journey with me…even if we failed,” she said.

“You tried your best, Nesta. Ultimately, that’s all you can do,” Helushka cajoled. Nesta nodded, trying to convince herself of that. When she finally pulled away, she found Helushka staring at her with something like awe.

“You’re an amazing person, you know that?” Helushka said. Nesta smiled and looked away, feeling bashful. Helusha grabbed her chin with one hand and gently turned her face towards her.

Helushka was staring at her lips, just as she had in the inn. Same-sex romance was frowned upon in the ton, yet Nesta found herself leaning closer.

“You’re amazing, for coming with me,” Nesta replied. Then she closed the distance between them.

The kiss was soft, brief, and hopeful. When Nesta pulled away, Helushka was beaming. “Now that I think about it, that hellish journey was worth it after all.”