#nerdgirlnarrates

[userparamore]

Ooh I also loved the bright orange and bangs for this performance:

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[hug-your-face]

@krytella I think the just-world fallacy to cope theory is very compassionate of you. And yes ones does see this sort of behavior among different clinicians in different circumstances. Judging patients with alcoholism, for example. But that seems pretty homogenous across the clinical professions.

But consider ED staff. They are around all kinds of illness death and pain and have to deal with patients dying on them on a regular basis despite their best efforts -- yet, when contrasted with non-ED surgeons, they aren't as nearly ridiculously sexist and exclusionary (although yes, the clinical professions as a whole still have a good distance to go toward true equality.)

So in my relatively uninformed opinion,** I'm gonna call the really tragic and shitty story of what has happened to @nerdgirlnarrates as an example of the all too-prevalent Original Flavor Old-Boy's-Network(tm) and Good Ol' Fashioned Sexism(tm): "Stuff for boys is great; keep the great stuff for boys. Stuff for girls is weak; give the weak stuff is for girls." ***

** Best friend has been ED manager and now clinician educator and Has Stories.

*** Not to in any way call internal medicine weak!

Even though it's been months since I switched from neurosurgery to internal medicine, I still have a hard time not being angry about the training culture and particularly the sexism of neurosurgery. It wasn't the whole reason I switched, but truthfully it was a significant part of my decision.

I quickly got worn out by constantly being questioned over my family plans. Within minutes of meeting me, attendings and residents felt comfortable lecturing me on the difficulties of having children as a neurosurgeon. One attending even suggested I should ask my co-residents' permission before getting pregnant so as not to inconvenience them. I do not have children and have never indicated if I plan to have any. Truthfully, I do want children, but I would absolutely have foregone that to be a neurosurgeon. I wanted to be a neurosurgeon more than anything. But I was never asked: it was simply assumed that I would want to be a mother first. Purely because I'm a woman, my ambitions were constantly undermined, assumed to be lesser than those of my male peers. Women must want families, therefore women must be less committed. It was inconceivable that I might put my career first. It was impossible to disprove this assumption: what could I have done to demonstrate my commitment more than what I had already done by leading the interest group, taking a research year, doing a sub-I? My interest in neurosurgery would never be viewed the same way my male peers' was, no matter what I did. I would never be viewed as a neurosurgeon in the same way my male peers would be, because I, first and foremost, would be a mother. It turns out women don't even need to have children to be a mother: it is what you essentially are. You can't be allowed to pursue things that might interfere with your potential motherhood.

Furthermore, you are not trusted to know your own ambitions or what might interfere with your motherhood. I am an adult woman who has gone to medical school: I am well aware of what is required in reproduction, pregnancy, and residency, as much as one can be without experiencing it firsthand. And yet, it was always assumed that I had somehow shown up to a neurosurgery sub-I totally ignorant of the demands of the career and of pregnancy. I needed to be enlightened: always by men, often by childless men. Apparently, it was implausible that I could evaluate the situation on my own and come to a decision. I also couldn't be trusted to know what I wanted: if I said I wanted to be a neurosurgeon more than a mother, I was immediately reassured I could still have a family (an interesting flip from the dire warnings issued not five minutes earlier in the conversation). People could not understand my point, which was that I didn't care. I couldn't mean that, because women are fundamentally mothers. I needed to be guided back to my true role.

Because everyone was so confident in their sexist assumptions that I was less committed, I was not offered the same training, guidance, or opportunities as the men. I didn't have projects thrown my way, I didn't get check-ins or advice on my application process, I didn't get opportunities in the OR that my male peers got, I didn't get taught. I once went two whole days on my sub-I without anyone saying a word to me. I would come to work, avoid the senior resident I was warned hated trainees, figure out which OR to go to on my own, scrub in, watch a surgery in complete silence without even the opportunity to cut a knot, then move to the next surgery. How could I possibly become a surgeon in that environment? And this is all to say nothing of the rape jokes, the advice that the best way for a woman to match is to be as hot as possible, listening to my attending advise the male med students on how to get laid, etc.

At a certain point, it became clear it would be incredibly difficult for me to become a neurosurgeon. I wouldn't get research or leadership opportunities, I wouldn't get teaching or feedback, I wouldn't get mentorship, and I wouldn't get respect. I would have to fight tooth and nail for every single piece of my training, and the prospect was just exhausting. Especially when I also really enjoyed internal medicine, where absolutely none of this was happening and I even had attendings telling me I would be good at it (something that didn't happen in neurosurgery until I quit).

I've been told I should get over this, but I don't know how to. I don't know how to stop being mad about how thoroughly sidelined I was for being female. I don't know how to stop being bitter that my intelligence, commitment, and work ethic meant so much less because I'm a woman. I know I made the right decision to switch to internal medicine, and it probably would have been the right decision even if there weren't all these issues with the culture of neurosurgery, but I'm still so angry about how it happened.

[wayfaringmd]

Yes! That’s exactly the point! Well said, @nerdgirlnarrates

[betweenironyandsilver]

1, 3, 39

thank you :)

1. guilty pleasure musical oh ho ho this honor definitely has to go to phantom...the attending i’m working with right now keeps putting his pandora station to a musicals one because he knows i love musicals and it’s a 1 hit KO to try to present a patient and suddenly hear the phantom overture in the background or something

3. favorite “iconic” musical theatre song on the street where you live will Never not make me go absolutely crazy 

39. favorite broadway trope hmm...i’d say when you have a bunch of different singers singing different lines and then they all suddenly come together and sing together...that shit Hits

send me musical asks 

[cancerbiophd]

Hey Julia, I recently joined a lab, and my PI has asked me to help edit a manuscript, starting by telling him what I think the figures should be. I have never written a manuscript. What do you consider when deciding what figures to make/include?

Hi lovely!

Congrats on joining a lab! And that seems like a pretty daunting task your PI has put you up to, especially since you don’t have that experience of writing a paper yet. However, I believe you can totally do this! If you have experience reading published manuscripts, you can transfer that skill of being a reader into being a writer. Ask yourself: as a reader, what do you look for in a paper’s figures?

Let’s start by picking out your favorite paper, and study just the figures. If you had only the title of the paper, the figures, and the figure legends, would you be able to come to the same conclusions as the authors? If it’s a well-written article with robust research design and data analyses, then the answer should be yes!

So that’s all that goes into deciding what figures to make/include for a paper: will they support your conclusions by themselves alone? 

To break it down further, each figure should answer a research question that stems from trying to prove or disprove the main hypothesis. So if you have an idea of your paper’s hypothesis, you can make a list or logical flowchart of questions to answer, and that flowchart can serve as a guideline for which figures to include. 

And then there are the nitty gritty details of what goes into making figures, like having a good sample size, the appropriate controls, statistical analyses, etc. But you can cross that bridge once you have an idea of what figures to include first. 

Here are some more tips on writing a research article for publication

Let me know if you have any other questions or would like some more clarification. Good luck with the paper! I hope it gets accepted and published as quick as possible :)

[medicine-and-molly]

thanks for the tag

3 ships: rosekiller, percabetg, and frodo/sam

first ever ship: uhh probably percabeth

last song: clean by taylor swift

last movie: fear street part one: 1994

currently reading: mrs dalloway by virginia woolf

currently watchinf: greys anatomy rewatch and gilmore girls rewatch

currently consuming: espresso and san pellegrino

currently craving: coffee. or a hug

npt: @nerdgirlnarrates @cowboy-like-moony @theladyinwhite13 @octoberconstellation @suki1vr @gracie1989gray @gracieslays and whoever else

9 people you would like to get to know better

tysm for the tag @alexmey-does-an-arts!

1. 3 ships; bowuigi, metadede, heavy/medic(I forget the name lol)

2. first ever ship; alphyne

3. last song; Ghost Cowboys by Louie Zong

4. last movie; Midsommar. That was…something

5. currently reading; Dante and Aristotle discover the secrets of the universe. Pretty fire

6. currently watching; JCS criminal psychology

7. currently consuming; nothing

8. currently craving; Iced Cream. About to go get it. I know there’s mind chip in my freezer (:

9 people to tag; @littlegreenwyvy, @garf-official, @d1nosaurpower, @tractor-inside-joke-fucker, @junkydoodlez, @seacrown, @neldu-nak, @darkcanid19, @stormyykat

[userparamore]

I do love all of Hayley’s iconic emo hair, especially this bright orange side bang look:

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[mashupofmylife]

nerdgirlnarrates replied to your post “At some point while I was wallowing in the MICU, I was sent an anon...”

I’ve never seen you make fun of psych patients, wtf?

charakacomplex replied to your post “At some point while I was wallowing in the MICU, I was sent an anon...”

???? I hate the website and I hate anons????? What the fuck did you ever do to warrant this nonsense??????

Its so weird. The best guess I could come up with was a comment that I made about being so disoriented by the MICU schedule that I didn’t know what day of the week it was, but that at least I was still more oriented than one of my patients.

Considering that patient thought it was 1963, I thought I was doing pretty well.

That patient also had a long-documented history of diagnosed dementia and was operating at their baseline level of orientation. 

Maybe my attitude towards dementia and memory loss is a little more callous than it should be or than others’ attitudes are. I watched my grandfather decline for close to 20 years. I know was progressive dementia is like. If you don’t find something to laugh or smile about, you end up crying. Oh well, lesson learned.

[honeststudying]

🎉 congrats on 500 followers! (My original content is mostly under the tag "study moodboard")

URL: don’t get it | meh | okay | good | amazing | ugh please give it to me

icon: don’t get it | meh | okay | good | amazing | love it

theme: default | meh | okay | good | amazing | love it

original content: meh | okay | good | amazing | love it | queueing half of them now

posts: meh | okay | good | amazing | love it | queueing half of them now

overall: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

following?: no, sorry! | am now! | yes and ily

additional comments: I really like the way you do your original content! It’s really cute, original, and creative! 

[universi-tea]

Crush story: last year, I had a crush on one of my TAs. Over the summer we got coffee for a bit but then had a small fight and stopped talking around September. Last week, I bumped into him, he apologized, and we got coffee the next day. We're getting coffee again tomorrow. I am literally over the moon - not just because someone I like is now a possibility again, but because our pre-existing relationship was important and impactful to me and now we have the chance to repair it. It amazes me.

This is so exciting!! I’m glad you were able to get over your differences and I hope things are working out!

[constellationstudies]

💙 lovely blog! (Original content is under the tags "study moodboard" and "a premed story")

hi, thank you so much! i hope you have a wonderful day, my dear x

url: don’t get it? | v adorable | i LOVE LOVE LOVE | who did yoU KILL

icon: not quite my style | cute! | me gusta mucho | really??? pretty??? i’m jealous

desktop theme: a lil confusing | mmm aesthetic | v lovely! i dig it | peRFECT code pls

original content: couldn’t find it :( | lovely! | quality content. is gucci | teach me how u do it 12/10

overall: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | seriously one of the best blogs i’ve seen

following: no, but you do you, sweetheart :) | i am now! | of couRSE

other comments/compliments: your blog is actually pretty unique, with your “reading/writing/research” tabs. i’m impressed! keep up the awesome blog!

blogrates!!!

[doctorofwhut]

Budapest, New York City

Budapest: What tattoo would you want? 

Something on my torso, for sure. I wouldn’t want others to be able to see just by looking at me. I don’t have a really strong desire for a tattoo but if I were to get one, it would probably be an anatomically correct drawing of a heart or an optical illusion. It would certainly have color. 

New York City: What gets you up in the morning? 

My literal alarm clock helps a lot but I’ve noticed a big part of it comes down to plans I’ve made the night before. If I go to sleep saying to myself, “Okay, I’m going to wake up early and get to the hospital early to do at least one H&P before we meet up for rounds” I spring out of bed easily compared to when my plans are less specific. Corny but true. 

[medicine-and-molly]

thank you for the tag!

last listened to: satanist by boygenius

currently watching: gilmore girls<3 in between mit lectures

currently reading: several rosekiller fics on ao3 but in terms of real books i just finished a handmaids tale by margaret atwood, next up is. crime and punishment because its finally time

current obsession: gracie abrams (but idk if that counts as current, its all time), julien baker, gilmore girls, jogging, and i seem to have fallen in love with coffee again. idk if it counts as an obsession bc its technically academically related but quantum physics. a lot of stuff keeps clicking and every time it does i realize how much more i dont understand, it’s a vicious cycle.

npt:

@cowboy-like-moony

@svnflower-moon

@placeinthisworld

@gracie1989gray

@breakingmyreverie

@probablychemical

@ifeellikemyselfrightnow

@imthatweirdratinthecorner

@wishfulthinkins

plus a bonus tenth one, last but not least

@nerdgirlnarrates

9 people you’d like to know better!

Thanks @joshua-roy for the tag!! 🫶

Last listened to: history of man by maisie peters

Currently watching: a lot of jays games and doing my annual summer gilmore girls rewatch

Currently reading: ace of spades by Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé

Current obsession: talking with my best friend (we just recently got sooo close and now we talk/text so much and i love it), gracie abrams duh, maisie peters, and pinterest

tagging: @2manytabsopen @hhughes @waysicouldhave @honorarycallowaysister @loveofmygracie @undevelopedcamera @kingofmylastkiss @medicine-and-molly @just-another-lovesong @locklylemybeloved (i know its ten butttt)

[djeheuty-bros]

Tag Game

Tagged by @jamiethekeener to spell out my username with books and movies (er oops one is a show) that have my vibe. This was a tough one! If I wasn’t an Egyptologist I would’ve been SOL with all those E’s!

Death on the Nile by Agatha Christie

Julian the Apostate by G.W. Bowerstock

Egypt after the Pharaohs by Alan K Bowman

Handmaiden

(The) Egyptian Book of the Dead (2008 edition published by Chronicle Books)

(The) Untamed

The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. Le Guin

Your Name Engraved Herein

(The) Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky

Religion in Roman Egypt by David Frankfurter

Orlando by Virginia Woolf

(The) Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern

I will tag @strangegirl32 @the-artifice-of-eternity @notwiselybuttoowell @softcroft @oystertongue @trans-cuchulainn @sunshinebf @the-kazoo-kid @casuallyhollering @nb-detective @nerdgirlnarrates @pensandpictograms  @saintartemis @liefst @ahxena

Only if you want to! Would love to get some book/movie recs from y’all!

[snowandstarlight]

Tagged by @nerdgirlnarrates to spell out my username with books or movies!

Sabriel by Garth Nix

Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro

Oathbringer by Brandon Sanderson

Wild Magic by Tamora Pierce

Anne of Green Gables by LM Montgomery

Ninefox Gambit by Yoon Ha Lee

Dealing with Dragons by Patricia Wrede

(The) Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid

The Truth About Forever by Sarah Dessen

A Place of Execution by Val McDermid

(The) Reluctant Heiress by Eva Ibbotson

Les Miserables by Victor Hugo

Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer

(A) Great and Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray

Howl’s Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones

The Likeness by Tana French

Tagging: anyone who thinks this sounds like fun!

[betweenironyandsilver]

Book ask: 3, 14

thank you <3

3. What books do you want to finish before the year is over? already answered :)

14. What books do you want to finish before the year is over? i’ve been saving the burning god by r.f. kuang for a post-exam treat! i’ve also got a few chapters left of into the drowning deep by mira grant, and a few other books coming my way for xmas

send me book asks