#neither of them feeling completely human nor completely eldritch monster anymore.

[godsfavoritescientist]

Ever since a god/monster possessed him, Ford knows what it feels like to be a vast, dark, endless, all-knowing eldritch being crammed into a tiny human flesh vessel. He knows what it feels like so intimately that he sometimes forgets he is human, and is overcome with the sensation that he doesn’t fit in his own skin, that he needs to let out his many limbs and eyes and mouths and consciousnesses Out so he can Breathe and stop feeling like his eyes are bleeding again from how ill-fitting a simple human skin is and from how fragile and Strange it is to inhabit a human body. He can never do anything about the urge to peel off his own skin and let out a non-existent eldritch monster so it can Move and Breathe and just Think, but god does he feel it, the desperate desperate need for the monster inside of him to shed its human form so he can stop trying and failing and trying and failing and trying and failing and trying and failing to be human.