#neither is wrong per se they just have different experiences that shape how they would approach the same threat

[riyo-soka]

Of course Crosshair agreed to help with Omega’s plan to find Tantiss by surrendering herself: He’s seen her escape the empire when the odds are stacked so heavily against her before. Of course Hunter couldn’t be there when her plan failed: he’d never be willing to let Omega put herself in danger when he’s lost her that way once already.

[outlaw-unicorn]

How does Arthur Morgan's Dead Eye work?

Overanalyzing game mechanics and other fun activities

feat. just enough science to sound like I know what I’m talking about.

So what do we know about Arthur's Dead Eye?

time slows down

objects of interest sparkle

wind direction visible

enemies weak spots appear red

can be activated at will

cannot be used endlessly without recharging

Something like this is clearly just a game mechanic but maybe, just maybe, we can have some real world equivalents. Let's look at our first clue – Time slowing down

Now obviously, unless Arthur is a god messing about, time does not actually slow down. It just seems to. There are studies (x) analyzing exactly this phenomenon, most interestingly the experiences include:

The feeling of external time expanding and slowing down to a great extent.

Dominant mental quickness as demonstrated by the increased speed of thoughts.

There is often an altered sense of the duration of the event lasting longer than it actually does.

If possible, in the event in question, people often act fast and purposefully.

In the latter case, their attention is also altered and narrowly focused on the issues relevant for survival.

Unusually sharp vision or hearing.

And hoo boy, if that doesn't sound familiar.

A little harder to explain – though not impossible – is the visual representation of spots of interest.

Because why would you see red where there isn't any? The answer is – everyone does, you're doing it right now. (Well maybe not red per se but colors). Fun fact you cannot see colors at the edge of your field of vision because all the cones (the cells in your eye responsible for color vision) are located in the center of your retina. So what you're actually seeing is more like

Well that can't be right, I hear you say, I surely would have noticed.  Except nope, because your brain is a sneaky bastard that loves to color in the the things you see. If you know a thing's color (maybe because you have seen it coming into the room) your brain will fill in the missing information for the whole picture. This can easily be proven in an experiment. You need at least two objects of the same shape with different colors and ideally another person. You need to fixate a point in front of you and then have the other person slowly move one of the objects into your field of vision from behind. Try guessing its color as soon as it appears in your field of vision – you will probably be wrong (unless you only have two objects bc fifty-fifty). Note: This doesn't work if you know which one you're going to see bc sneaky bastard brain.

Which proves – your brain already adds things your senses cannot perceive and paints it as This is what you're seeing, completely unmodified whatsoever, yessir. So it might as well add red for the area you KNOW to be a weak spot because we value usefulness over accuracy when it comes to perception. Great example:

The gray bar in the middle is only one shade of gray, yet it seems to be lighter on one side and darker on the other. There's something called lateral inhibition which your eye uses to enhance the contrasts to make those stand out more. And let's be honest – it's more important you see the tiger about to bite your head of than that you are able to tell the exact color of its stripes.

Evolutionary a dead eye would definitely be a huge advantage, being able to react in a split second and having an easier time finding whatever you're searching for. Does that mean everyone in the Red Dead world can do it? Probably not. Because there is one catch – heightened senses come at a cost. Do you know why tigers are so perfectly hidden with their bright orange stripes? Because their prey can't see red, they only have color-receptive cones for blue and green (unlike humans who have green, blue and red). The extra color-cone is so frigging expensive and also useless in low-light situations that they rather invested their energy into other senses. fyi the mantis shrimp  has sixteen (16) color-receptive cones. (x)

Now Arthur doesn't have extra cones but we do have proof of the cost of using dead eye.

Empty your Dead Eye core and our  boy is tired. His health is fine, so is his stamina but yet he looks somewhere between falling asleep where he stands and killer headache of doom. And you know what? If my brain did the equivalent of bench-pressing a semi I'd be tired, too. Which explains why the game constantly declares Arthur underweight despite just eating three deer and a rabbit. A normal person's brain uses 20 % of their energy – who knows how much energy a brain regularly going into dead eye overdrive needs. Boy was always skinny growing up because there wasn't enough food in the world to keep him fed with that kind of energy-drain.

This also fits nicely with a fan-theory I read somewhere about Arthur having a sweet tooth. Because besides being a sneaky bastard your brain is also a picky eater. The brain gets its energy from sugar alone – glucose to be exact – and it doesn't want anything else. Okay, if you were starving it can also use ketone bodies but that's it. So the next time you do some intense studying and afterwards really want some chocolate – that's your brain complaining about being low on sugar. (I mean technically you usually have enough sugar stored in your liver but who wants that when you can have chocolate).

So in conclusion rdr might be a lot more realistic than we ever thought.

FYI I also looked into other explanations, namely synesthesia and maybe something similar to light / dark adaptation. But neither really fits. It's probably not synesthesia (the perceptual phenomenon in which stimulation of one sensory or cognitive pathway leads to involuntary experiences in a second sensory or cognitive pathway. For example letters or numbers are perceived as inherently colored.) (x) because unfortunately according to my degree in Wikipedia science synesthesia is involuntary and automatic and as far as I can tell can't be turned off. Which means it would happen all the time not just when you press a button. Also, while it can occur between pretty much any senses it would raise the question why enemies weak spots are consistently colored red even though the wolves trying to eat you for dinner look nothing like O'Driscoll #23.

And light or dark adaption (something your eye does to get used to light conditions) simply takes too long. (9 – 10 minutes for light, up to hours for dark adaptation). So nothing like the instantaneous changes we have.

[goldtips]

guess who is here to shit on babylon again. haha . yes that’s right its me. surprise. there is so much wrong with this anime, holy mother of god. but i specifically wanna talk about the spontaneous philosophical discussion abt morality that takes place in penultimate ep & the problems i had with it:

first of all, this is a political summit. why are we discussing philosophy in the first place.

idk dir. chose to animate the leaders overreacting . assisted suicide laws have existed for a long time and debating them wouldn’t be entirely out of the contrary. also international laws / rulings aren’t 100% binding, national courts are going to have to go through a long process of actualising their plans etc etc so they have no reason to be hasty abt this at all, they still have to face a fuckton of national barriers. 

esp lowe who is just on the side making outlandish claims like: england is going to break off ties with all these superpowers and go to war with them if they legalise suicide!! i mean, what the heck lady. you have 0 jurisdiction to be making claims like that - and its not like their national laws would affect the uk at all anyway??  (  on the plus side this is rly relevant to the current political climate ahem brexit so. i guess this is a slide in my books )

okay, so its an anime, right and it has to hype things up. sure. but explain why these leaders are now standing at diff heights against a galaxy background. fucking riveting. it really goes to shows how they wasted all their animation budget on the axe chopping scene.

okay now fr, i’m going to dive into the philo discussions they provide and explain why they don’t actually help the suicide debate uwu:

legal morality

wood makes a point about the subjective content of morality in different legal systems and expresses a desire to found a unified measure of morality for the entire world. idk why they all agreed to doing this honestly. each country has it’s own legal system, affected/shaped by its unique history and political nuances, a discussion of what the “best” moral content of law is super fucking redundant.

for some reason they all quickly agree that laws are value positive when in fact, most of our current legal systems are value neutral in practice, meaning that they don’t seek impose a particular ideal or way of life on people, but serve as a minimum form of social contract to maintain order and prevent chaos within society. for instance, the concept of informed consent in medical law: e.g. in the uk medical practitioners are advised against practising paternalism and have to give their patient all the details of an operation before they decide whether to consent. no decision is being made for them, per se, but gps are obliged to provide them with all the necessary info so that they can make a good choice. in an era where information can be found everywhere, it’s unlikely that moral norms are actually sourced from the law at all - rather, in social norms, the economy, politics, religion, international laws, etc.

it is entirely impossible to do what they’re achieving - to impose a singular ideal of morality on people. it’s something that is perpetuated through cultural identity and the transactions of society. it’s not possible. you can’t make people change their ideas about life and death overnight and it can’t be done through coercion.

also this point is so fucking stupid that i didn’t want to make it, but there is literally 0 consideration of god/religion at play in politics or the law. that would mean that our laws are governed by some ellusive prophetical standard when in fact the law is based on formal rationality, where consistent reasoning is applied to circumstances to decide on a particular judgement. lowe’s point about being virtuous via the law due to a fear or worship of god is entirely wrong. it ties into the overarching biblical theme of the anime, sure, but its so out of the blue and nonsensical that it serves to ruin the immersion (if the myspace-esque galaxy background didn’t already).

trolley problem vs the organ transplant

to compare the two thought experiments as if they’re morally equivalent is so fucked. the trolley problem is constrained by time. there are only two options which make it easy to make the right choice. there are lesser variables, and it makes sense for a decision to be made (saving one life over the five is purely utilitarian).

however, the organ transplant problem is much more complex. first of all, there are an infinite amount possibilities purely because of a lack of time constraint. it isn’t just an binary choice where you pull the lever or don’t. let me bring in some other variables: does how the person is killed matter? even if they’re dragged kicking and screaming to the operating table? even if they are a well-respected and intelligent person that can still contribute to society? what if the people requiring transplants actually receive them from someone else through a deceased donation process? these people still have a chance to be saved without incurring the loss of the donor’s life.

applying kantian theory: if we were to go about murdering healthy people to harvest their organs for the sick, it would entirely defeat the purpose of healthcare in itself. the future implications of this thought experiment are more far-reaching and complex than the split-second decision of whether to save one person’s life or five.

most importantly though, neither of these two main arguments raised during their discussion even served to explain their reasoning for supporting the suicide laws. they literally spent a whole episode talking abt some bullshit but they didn’t resolve the suicide debate at all. the gamer president’s final conclusion that “the meaning of life is the root of good and evil” makes absolute no sense.

[mrsspidermanmaryjanewatsonparker]

Amazing Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows #13-15 Thoughts

Previous thoughts here.

Yes I know I couldn’t be later to this party but I started this series so I’m going to finish giving my thoughts on it.

I tried very hard to finish Houser’s run on RYV in time to read Spider-Girls but it just didn’t happen, I only made it up until just before the penultimate arc and I didn’t write up a proper post of my thoughts back then. So I re-read her first arc today with ambitions of re-reading the next 2 stories before finally experiencing the final arc and then Spider-Girls as part of reading over most of Spider-Geddon. What you will read below are a mixture of some initial thoughts I jotted down during my first read through and my thoughts upon revisiting the story, mostly the latter.

Oh SPOILERS I guess

So let me immediately get some obvious business about Renew Your Vows’ direction from here on in. The book, sans its covers, desperately misses Stegman. It also misses Conway but that is not a condemnation of Houser at all.

Houser in this arc does a good job with the situation presented by the new direction. Whether that new direction was her idea or editorials is unknown, though likely the latter.

And really that is the absolute worst thing about this story, the new direction itself.

It isn’t so much that it is bad unto itself but it is reductive that after 12 issues building a certain status quo, the one also built by the RYV Secret Wars mini-series and was promoted by Marvel prior and during the book’s initial release that we are abruptly changing course in a big way.

The book is still unique, at least the Spider-Books on the stands (even now). But it is less unique for various reasons.

Firstly we simply have way more teen heroes than pre-teen ones. Secondly a book that pays much attention to Spider-Man’s super powered teen daughter is going to either tread upon familiar ground that Spider-Girl stood on or else it will evoke Spider-Girl in the memories of the readers. Annie unto herself innately did this anyway, but that was offset when she was much younger than Mayday.

It also throws away the world building and set up Conway enacted in his initial arc, not to mention it just fast forwards a lot of Annie’s potential character development.

Does this render Annie uninteresting or the premise less likable? No because Houser has a strong handle on both the characters and more specifically what RYV as a book is.

Perhaps this is nowhere more apparent in how she structures her opening arc. Each issue shifts the POV to one of the Parker family, starting with Peter, then handing off to MJ and concluding with Annie, exactly like Conway’s first three issues did. This is a pretty clever way of conveying to readers Houser ‘gets’ the book and reassure readers who might not be thrilled about the time skip that these are the same characters just at different points in their lives, and not even that different, sans Annie.

This is rather realistic because Peter and MJ being the adults are comparatively less likely to change all that much even within 8 years whereas Annie inevitably will drastically change going from a pre-teen to an out-and-out teenager. Fittingly Houser compensates for this by showcasing Annie’s new state of being throughout the issues that are about Peter and MJ.

On the one hand this does somewhat undermine the idea that this book is about the family collectively as opposed being about Annie or placing Annie as the ‘first among equals’ in the team dynamic of the book.

On the other hand since the book is about the Parker family it adds up that so much of Peter and MJ’s characterization will stem from their relation to Annie; your child is after all the most important thing in your life.

So we get Annie’s somewhat more salty and disconnected relationship with a Peter who is very much starting to feel his age. Which is GOOD, the obnoxious proliferation of teen Spider-Man renders almost any older portrayal interesting by default. With MJ though, Annie seems to have a much more conciliatory relationship, its more that she exhausts her mother and seems more comfortable going to her about stuff. Also as a nice way of distinguishing her from Mayday, Annie seems to share her mother’s passion for fashion which Mayday actively didn’t.

Speaking of fashion lets talk about Annie’s new costume. I’ll level you all..it looks better than her prior costume, but also less unique but neither is...all that great. I guess when you have Mayday Parker and Spider-Gwen and all the Spider-Women running around, coming up with something thing that fits the general Spider-Man motif, looks unique and also is really dynamic can be difficult. I can see where the designer was going though. Peter, MJ and Annie share the same outlines for where the chest areas of their suits turn into another colour. Peter’s is red and blue, MJ’s red and white and Annie’s is blue to black. So the ‘shape’ of the suit lends to the ‘unified family’ idea. The colours also make her stand out but maybe too much. If her parents had red chests and then she has blue it’s kinda weird. If the idea was she was trying to strike out on her own sure but I don’t get that impression at all. It is kinda cool she has MJ’s mask design but I preferred her old mask which was a compromise between her parents’ masks.

As for the main plot, I think Houser could’ve milked it much more than she did, we could’ve done with much more of the slice of life stuff and the Lizard was underutilized. There is a strong element of family defining the Lizard’s character because of his wife and child. In a book about family I presumed that was where we were going when he showed up. But...no he was just used as a monster amidst monsters.

I’m not saying Houser got the Lizard wrong just that there was an obvious and more compelling angle to exploited in the story.

The two big reveals surrounding the plot, that there is a zoo full of near-human people, and that it’s being run by Mister Sinister was also...underwhelming.

Spider-Man has the best supporting cast and rogue’s gallery within Marvel comics. Not only does this mean we don’t really need to see non-Spider-Man characters (like the X-Men) pop up, it’s frankly less interesting when we do because they have little-no history with Spider-Man or his family.

It was also just kind of a reveal that didn’t land for me, I could not care at all.

Mister Sinister was a little different because, I like Sinister as a bad guy I really do...but not in Spider-Man. I get including and referencing the X-Men in this arc because for some reason they were practically supporting cast members in Conway’s run, so paying that off makes sense. But why double down upon it with a major X-villain? Like the Jackal, even Doc Ock, either of them would be more fitting villains in this type of story or where the series implies it will be leading onto later.

It didn’t help that when we met Sinister initially in disguise there was just very little gravitas to him because he obviously looked like a no-name 18th century circus reject.

The ending let this arc down is what I guess I’m getting at. Issue #13 and #14 had pretty nice hooks for the next issues.

What was a letdown throughout though was the action sequences. They were pretty pedestrian along with the art overall. Like it wasn’t BAD per se (except Peter’s eyebrows...wtf?), it just was a major step down from Stegman and even Stockman, the latter of whom I think the artwork was chosen to be more like. It had this softer undefined element to it, and not in a Romita Senior way.

Returning to the character though, I do commend Houser for having a good grip on everyone and efficiently finding a way to distinguish them from one another across the three issues.

Peter dealing with being older and now decidedly less cool and engaging to his teen daughter is delightful..even if at points it feels like the narrative is kind of undermining him, especially in the Wolverine scene at the start of the story...still Dad Joke Spider-Man is awesome. Even more awesome is how together he over all is. This isn’t an angst ridden Peter Parker or one who is introspectively questioning himself. Throughout the story he gives off this air of relaxed experience, like he knows what he’s doing and can tell the situation allows for a few jokes and a bit of fun. Refrshingly he doesn’t angst about not pursuing the bad guy at all.

Moving on, Houser probably dissing MJ’s place in the Iron books at the time with her reprimanding and smack down of Tony was awesome (although I don’t get why she was so miffed at him). Her playing Spider-Mom, and more poignantly dejectedly owning it, was hilarious. Her sense of exhaustion is relatable whether you’ve been a parent or just been around them. It very much taps into Conway’s characterization of MJ as a juggler

Houser’s Annie also shines. She is believably an older version of the kid Annie we once knew but also stands firmly as her own person. She’s somewhat embarrassed by her Dad and wants greater independence. She loves being a superhero, but is (also in contrast to Mayday) a more of a punch first think later kind of gal with a dash of overconfidence.

She is untrustworthy of the Lizard and more gung ho, whilst MJ and especially Peter (to my delight) are both more reigned in and trusting.

This is nicely explored in the family’s single page descent underground where Houser gives Peter a really great speech about what it means for Annie to accept the great responsibility of the mask, that it might mean trusting those who are not trustworthy for the sake of others. This serves to nicely develop Annie as its her Dad treating her as more of an adult for the first time. the fact that it’s her Dad, the iconic hero Spider-Man conveying this wisedom onto her is very fitting and helps further legitimize Annie as a Spider-Hero to the readers of RYV and legitimize the new teen version to those jumping aboard at this point.

Not to be outdone, MJ an issue earlier got a wonderful piece of dialogue about how in spite of how their lives might be messed up by being heroes she and her family will still endeavour to make plans and live normal lives. Which is both a wonderfully inspiring heroic statement but also so very true to who she and Peter are as people.

Some other small points:

I saw Carrion amidst Sinister’s menagerie

The underground nature of the story’s conclusion nicely evokes the first arc by Conway

Overall Houser sells/sold you on the new dynamic with this arc as much as I preferred the older one and wish they hadn’t changed.

B+

[maptoourescape]

Hi 😉 I was wondering what was your take on Heidi being on tour with the guys and everything that happened since she joined them aka fans reporting she has this cold face when watching the show and the lack of interaction between her +her parents and the twins’ mother? I really loved your piece on the summercamp last year I thought you nailed it, thank you in advance and have a nice day/evening/afternoon 😊

Hey there!Oh man anon, where to begin? You’re in for a treat, because I think I’llunleash much more than what you’ve bargained for, for the simple fact that Ihaven’t really ranted out everything that I wanted on other social mediaplatforms lol. I guess I should start off by saying that my opinion on thismatter is still unaltered. If anything, the points I have made within my SummerCamp essay seem to only get more and more probable with each passing day.Whatever little hope I might have been harboring that maybe (by some miracle)I’m wrong – that she is actually nota rotten individual – just keeps disappearing with every horrendous attitudeshe decides to present next. And boy oh boy is she set out to be horrendous.Big yikes.Let’s get one thing out of the way first, (because some people still can’t grasp this concept, and Iwant to clarify it before I dwell any further): the reason why I’m bothered byKlum is not because of any pettyjealousy people claim I must be feeling towards her. I feel like it’s sounbelievably superficial and sexist to claim that – what is saidbetween the lines – I “must dislike this specific vagina, simply because I wantits rightful penis”. Literally what the fuck? I quite honestly wouldn’t touchTom with a ten foot pole (no offense to him, but I really would not). Evenentering their personal bubble for pictures makes me feel uncomfortable,because I don’t want to be perceived as one of those predators who give thewhole fandom a bad name after they dry hump them as soon as they’re in their radius,so there’s that. What I feel towards this band is just so pure, and so muchabove any petty groupie fantasy others try to project onto me, that theargument of “me being jealous” makes literal bile rise up my throat. It’s revoltingto me. Not only me, but to many other people as well – people who also don’tfit the mold of what those “higher-moral-ground-wannabees” claim they are.The reason why a shit ton of people dislike Klum is very simple: we all see thesame red flags rising when we observe her attitude. It most definitely hasnothing to do with anyone’s attraction towards Tom himself. I just cannotcomprehend this stupid narrative. Most of the fandom doesn’t consist of twelveyear old girls anymore, so give me a break (albeit I personally never thirsted after any of them at all, ever, so whatever).Some people who see that Heidi’s problematic are gay, by the way. Some peoplewho see it are happily married. Some even have children for crying out loud.Are they all jealous too, according to that narrow point of view?Noticing someone’s reappearing toxicity – especially when it is masses of very different people all noticingthe very same destructive behavioralpatterns – is simply concerning. Yeah, I know the popular counter argument is “why should you care then, youhave no ties to him?” Well of course that’s true. No, I’m not the band’simmediate family. I’m not their friend and neither do I work for them. But themen of this band have had a huge impact on my life, and their art has helped methrough so much shit over the years of my adolescence and beyond. If notanything else, it feels fair to thenat least be honest about when I think they might be getting into some deep shitthemselves. An act of reciprocated gratefulness and respect, if you will. Thekind of “you helped me, and now, even though I can’t exactly help you per sebecause we are strangers, the least I can do is to be sincere in my thoughts ofgenuine concern”. I mean, look, I said it once, and I’ll say it again: at the end of the day, marryingsomeone like Heidi is Tom’s choice to make – or well, in my opinion and forlack of a better wording, his own mistakein the making. I’m pretty much the last person in the world who can changethat, and don’t worry, I’m aware of that. And sure, at the end of the day, it’snot me who’ll have to live with her. It’s not me who’s gonna suffer the immediate consequences of it.But although it’s not going to be me ending up being potentially hurt, Tom’sproblems will, by default, extend to damage anyone who ever cared for him aswell. And we, as a whole (well, most of us), do care for this fucking band. Goddamn we do. Just like we cared whenBill had to get his surgery; just like we cared whenever any of them had a caraccident; just like we cared when Gustav got into that bar fight all those yearsago; just like we cared when we saw them being stalked and burning out in frontof our very eyes – just in the same way, we care now, because we see someonewho appears to be absolutely venomous protrude not only their personal lives, but the band as a concept as well.The very same band that was always a sort of escapism resort that EVERYONE (theband AND the fans) could always come to when everything “in the real world” wasgoing astray – now being quite literally invaded by outside forces withoutfacing any proper resistance.Honestly, at this point, I should probably stop being so surprised by whateverHeidi Klum does next. But I’m apparently too naïve, or maybe just simply toogood natured to actually expect half of the disgusting things she does. I couldhonestly keep my mouth way more shut if it was just a “behind the scenes Tomthing”. As said – it’s his mistake to make, and even though I’d still roll myeyes way into the back of my head at the lack of brain functioning he’sexemplifying on a daily basis, I’d still be able to not be this vocal about it if it were just a “Tom thing”. The problem isthough – this isn’t just a Tom thing any longer (if it ever was at all). Thefact that I’m furious and ranting about it left and right openly is because Tokio Hotel lets Tom’s girlfriend involveherself into the band’s affairs. That’s the reason I even wrote the entireSummer Camp Essay, and I see now that it was a sort of foreshadowing of graverthings to come.Can you believe it, I’m finally getting to your point lol. Now let us address thesestupidities one by one.Tokio Hotel may have started as a hobby, something that all four of them lovedto do above everything else and “just happened to turn into their job”. But atthe end of the day, a dream job is still a job. I’m pretty damn sure it isfrowned upon in any other setting or situation to just drag your “significantother” to your workplace, and let them effectivelyinterfere with your job policies. Seeing how the nature of their job is, I’mhonestly fine when it comes to family/girlfriends/friends or such visitingtheir concerts. If I would be in their shoes, I most definitely would have donethe same. Pretty sure most anyone would – who doesn’t want to share their art not only with strangers, but withpeople who are closest to them in life as well! I know I would! What I would never, though, is stoop as low as tobreak my professionalism and have my family/girlfriends/friends or such 1. SIGN MY DAMN POSTERS.Not only did she do that, she also clearly provocatively and without anyreasoning whatsoever signed the poster with hissurname and not even her own, even though she clearly keeps on signing hernormal everyday autographs with her “established” name. Anyone who has thebrain capacity to count to ten can understand that such is done for thepurposes of drama, and portrays nothing less but a toxic possessiveness of ateenage girl who needs to “mark her territory”. And such is coming from a supposedlyestablished 46 year old woman. The behavior exhibited just leaves mespeechless. And I am all the more concerned when I see people defending such occurrenceswith the adjectives of “cute,” stating furthermore that it’s “not a big deal”.How about you tell that this “isn’t a big deal” to a potential someone who wasonly on a VIP once, when this is the sort of memory they’d be left with at theend of the day?Of course some of us – a lot of us – come to the gigs more than once, andactually have a shit ton of VIP packages. But not everyone is that lucky, andnot everyone is willing or able to spend that much money on the band. It isdistressing for me to think that someone might have gotten this one opportunityto meet them, but then at the end of the day took home a poster that was signedby, quite honestly, a random person who has nothingto do with the band or their own personalexperience with the four men. It is beyond my understanding how the members canclaim to be oh-so-professional, but then let something like this slidecompletely.Half of me honesty hopes that she’s done it in secret. At least in that versionof the events, the band would have a “redeeming way out”, seeing how it wouldhave been done behind their backs. Somehow though, I kind of doubt that is thecase. And that’s what honestly gets me pressed the most. The sheer thought thatthey’d be willing to – in any way, shape or form – give a complete outsider any sort of autonomy when it comes to“band things”. And it would be even worse if they’d find such to be “funny” atthe end of the day, if we ever addressed the matter with them.See, realizing that Heidi Klum is toxic is one thing, because (newsflash) Idon’t care about Heidi Klum. It is,though, entirely something else when the guys let her maneuver her way insidethe band. Even if manipulated into it, they still most likely seem to give herthe freedom of doing almost whatever the fuck she wants, and to think of them – the people I actually do care about – to be this misguided, and this unprotective when it comes to all matters Tokio Hotel… see that’s what actually gets me going.At this point, it really feels as though Klum’s just testing her limits to seehow far she can go before someone within the band circle starts to question hermotives, and tell her that she maybe shouldn’t get too involved with their business(not that it matters, because people like her have a prepared victim card theycan play at any time, so she’d get out of it as soon as she notices she’sreached said limit by claiming to be but a poor soul who meant no harm).Apparently, she can push fairly far though, seeing how2. HER KIDS WERE BROUGHT ON STAGE.This one seemed to have stirred up even some heated Pro!Heidi people out there,and albeit I’m sad it took this long for people to realize there’s muchfishiness attached to the smell she emits, it was still good to see it was awake-up call at least for some. Now whoever’s defending this is, in my book, honestly just gross. It would be one thing ifthe kids would express the wish to go on stage themselves, but judging by theirreactions – so from just standing there awkwardly not knowing what to do, tostraight up hiding from the crowd – didthey really? But you know what, scratch that, for the sake of theargument, let’s pretend no adult person is as disturbed as to suggest such athing themselves (cough)… Even if this wasa longing of the kids’ own free will… who in their right fucking mind wouldever allow that? Who thought itwould be a brilliant idea to throw on stage some (give or take) ten year olds,only to be screamed at by a mass of people in a language they do not understand, being surrounded bypeople they do not know. Not tomention no-one could have predicted thepublic’s reaction??? Of course the general consensus is that it would becompletely disgusting to boo at actualkids, because at the end of the day, none of what the adults surroundingthem do is their fault at all… but it stillcould have happened. And given how everyone most likely knows that Klumisn’t really popular in our community, shouldn’t they have thought about the repercussionsof their actions before putting sucha plan in gear? This lack of brain function is completely beyond me.Whether it was the kids themselves asking for it and no one rejected them;Tom’s idea for wanting to please Heidi; Heidi’s own messed up concept; orsomething else entirely… my question is still all the same: how about someone thinks of the children’s wellbeing,instead of parading them around like circus animals? Yeah, people mostly complained about this because the VIP’s were coldly toldoff as secondary as soon as the kids got involved. But I just wanted to saythis honestly goes well beyond the argument of “people paying a 1000€ to beable to have the best day of their lives, only to be told they have literallyno priority above the kids who were there out of what seemed to be pressurefrom Heidi Klum to get the spotlight she so desperately thinks she keeps lacking”.It’s not just about money. It’s about so much more than just money. To prove a point and for the sake of this essay though, I’ll still bring thisother argument up too:Look, I am of a firm belief that buying a VIP buys you – first and foremost – anexperience, and only then (assecondary) the contents of whatever the package one chooses to do includes. Andexperiences as such can obviously vary. Sometimes you’ll see the band be in agood mood, but sometimes you’ll get the vibe that they seem kind of down and uninterested.Honestly, all of those are fine by me personally. Even if I meet the band onone of their “down” days, I’d still find it beyond interesting, because Irealized at the very beginning already that I’m investing in something that iswell beyond just “a purchase,” and has many differentials in its equation – asmany as there are human emotions. You can’t exactly purchase good mood, and so youcan’t ever expect everything to be perfect and smooth, because you’re buyingyourself quality time with real life, actual, flesh and blood people, who canexperience all and every single emotion you toocan experience yourself: from despair to complete euphoria and everything inbetween. I think most people actually realize this and don’t mind it too much if theguys are moody – mostly because they rarely show it anyway, keeping up theirprofessional mask and making sure everyone is enjoying their experience to thefullest. That’s honestly such a tough part of their job, and we probably don’ttell them enough how much we appreciate that they do their best all the time to“meet everyone’s expectations,” even when they could honestly just say “fuckit”. Only… they kind of said their deepestand ugliest “fuck it” when they allapparently in unity agreed, that they have no problem if some individualsinterfere with their fans’ experience. Individuals to whom the concept of beingthere literally meant little to nothing. Because it’s not like thoseindividuals were on stage with their four favorite people in the whole world.Because those individuals haven’t been saved by their music again and again for15 years straight. Because to those individuals – even if they ended up havingfun (which they actually did not, so that’s even WORSE) – standing there wouldonly mean two minutes of semi-fun and euphoria, while to some of the fans,those two minutes would mean the wholeentire world, an experience they would never forget and always cherish deeply.So no matter how you take it, this is about way more than just one grand. It’sabout what the band was conveying to its fandom when they allowed this tohappen. It’s about how it felt as though they themselves don’t grasp theconcept of how much this means to some people. Of being ignorant on how much ofan impact they truly had on us in the years of our lives that we devoted tothem. About marking a clear void between the two fractures of “us” and “them,”putting themselves on a higher pedestal. Not to mention the fractures seem tobe opening up in between themselves as well, with other3. PEOPLE THAT ARE CLOSE TO THE BAND NOT BEING THAT ACCEPTING OF KLUM EITHERThe following includes both my personal experience, as well as experiences offriends that have been to concerts with and without me though the entire tour.While I have not seen Klum in Munich, (because I did not want to see her in Munich, and didn’t bother to turn my head evenremotely, because I just wanted to enjoy my time), my friends have all told mewhat I would suspect would be the case anyway, so you’re completely right onthe cold bitch-facing throughout the concert. Klum only ever cracks a propersmile when someone pokes her to ask for a selfie, finally satisfied that she’dgotten her share of the attention she so much craves and desires. Not even forjust the gig I’ve been to, but for the rest of them that are happening rightnow – people have all been telling me pretty much the same thing, again andagain, and there’s even been videos of her during the concerts to support theseclaims. Claims of “film, bitch-face, rinse and repeat”. Occasional jump andclap to not seem too out of place, maybe, but ones that aren’t even remotelyovertaken with any sense of pride or overflowing joy.One would expect of Mrs.ObsessedWithTheSurnameKaulitz to at least sing alongwith the songs, but she can barely manage Melancholic Paradise lyrics out ofher throat. Not to be prickly now – I’m not saying that that knowing TokioHotel songs by heart would or should be an indicator of the “true love” sheclaims to be experiencing towards Tom, but seeing the contrast between her andGustav’s wife or Georg’s girlfriend in this regard is just baffling. Not evenfor the fact that the two of them don’tseem to possess an apparently unstoppable itch when it comes to oversharingtheir enthusiasm on social media, but for the pure fact that they just plainobviously don’t have to create a social media hoax in order to portray theirgenuine happiness. Such namely always clearly shines on their proud faces,while Klum is the living example of what those girls who get front row looklike, who spend literally 2 hours of their ENTIRE concert just filming Tom fromup close, because apparently having 200gb of HD thirst footage of your iphonejust means so much more to some individuals than just enjoying and feeling the actual music seep through theirveins. But I digress.I didn’t really think too much about what either side of the parenthood isdoing – like you, I have heard mixed reports on that regard, because I know forsure the both mothers got along pretty well when they visited the concert inCologne, while on other occasions, fans have reported it might’ve not been likethat at all. All in all, I’m not bothering with them a lot, because no matterwhat their perceptions of their kids’ relationship is, it doesn’t seem to methey’ll have any sort of proper influence over it. The only thing I think I canpretty confidently claim is that both of the Gs partners aren’t all too fond ofher. You always see them separate from her on the gigs they do happen to attendtogether, and I haven’t seen them interact even once on Camp where there wereplenty of opportunities for them to do so.Besides that, everyone else is honestly still a damn mystery to me. All the wayfrom Bill and Andreas, to the Gs themselves – I still have no idea if they’rereally just that dumb to not noticethe very clear toxic patterns she is exhibiting, or if they just choose toignore the matter and let it slide again and again because Tom is, as of now,pretty much untouchable when it comes to the topic of her. Anon, I’m honestly dumbfounded, when it comes to this, Ireally am. Because even though I have pretty solid theories as to how Tom endedup being in this situation he’s in, I have still yet to find explanations forothers to not point out how disturbing it all is in retrospective.My options? They’re either:a) all just as manipulated as he is,b) all really lacking in the department of any sort of emotional intelligenceorc) their hands are actually tied, as they let him ride off his inexplicable exhilaration.But let’s be honest, what are the chances that everyone is faling for her tricks? What are the chances that everyone is emotionally backwards? My bet is that at least someone is seeing what’s going on here, but they just can’t do shit because Tom is so set to be stuck in his idealism.While we’re at this “undying euphoria” of his, can you just let me quicklybarge in with a major pet peeve I’m experiencing with Tom recently? Namely thefact of how he keeps glorifying Heidi as his “one and only true love,” and “somethingthat’s never happened to me before” and all the talk about how “the happiestday of his life is yet to come”. Ex-fucking-cuse me? I love Tom’s not-all-that-quirky-little-twelve-year-old-humorpersonality he pulls sometimes, but exclaiming all that just makes him seem beyond childish. In a way that is, to mepersonally, just very unpleasant. Irealize that he might have been fucked over and hurt more than we can possibly imagine,but to claim so impulsively and nonchalantly that “this is the first time he’sever been in love,” while being in a longass relationship before and even marryingbefore is just beyond disturbing. You can never take lessons from yourpast if you don’t learn to accept it, and this gives me all the more proof thatTom never really did processwhatever has happened between him and his ex-wife (which honestly doesn’t comeas a surprise). I’m stuck between being disappointed, because I though he hadit in him to work through his demons, sad for him that he doesn’t seem to havethe ability to do any sort of soul-searching, and just plain angry that he hasthe audacity to just ignore such a huge chunk of his life as if it didn’thappen whatsoever. Now that I’ve got that off my chest, I guess I might touch up on the fact thatshe4. SEEMS TO BE RANDOMLY INTRUDING VARIOUS Q&ASWhich people surprisingly also seem to be “okay with,” simply because the Gs’partners are both also sometimes present. Well guess what, even when the othertwo are listening in to a Q&A, it really isn’t the most professional. But atleast they have the decency to notshowcase a moment that was meant to be private to 6 million people. Weunderstand, the mighty Klum is above the petty rules of the peasants, no need to keep on ruining the only possibleprivate moments fans ever get to have with the band. “But what’s beenruined? You still get your Q&A, you still get your picture, what are youcomplaining about?” I hear people ask. I mean, first of all – the picture to meis just a little extra cherry on top which I can totally live without anyway(especially if it’s a solo one, seeing how they are really pressed about group picturesthis time around, and that’s the only one actually worth having in my book). Theactual reason for which I’m buying these VIPs are the Q&As. I love to talkto the guys, and I love it when they are raw, and completely unfiltered, anduncensored, and sincere with their fans, and when their appreciation for usactually sitting there and giving them good conversations comes through. Throw in a Heidi, and what do you get? Do peoplereally think their answers wouldn’t sway from what they could have been withouther presence? Do people really think Tom would be as genuine in his answers ifshe’d be lurking from the shadows? Do people really think she wouldn’t start pullingtheir attention from fans towards her eventually if she so wished? I’ve seen ithappen once on Camp, so I’ve no doubt she’d do it again if she simply felt likeit. And that’s just purely a no-go. Let them work. It’s half an hour of a day.Let the fans have their moment with their favorite artist. Stop intrusively insertingyourself in every situation that is humanly possible of inserting yourselfinto. This fandom doesn’t care about you. Get over yourself.I bet I’ll be able to give you way more emotionally charged info in that regardafter Saturday, where she’s almost bound to make a scene, seeing how it’s herbirthday.Ah, Saturday. A thought that should genuinely excite me. A Tokio Hotel concert,a meet and greet even! Tomorrow! Precious moments with the band that I’ve beenfollowing for more than half of my lifenow. Meeting people that have inspired me to become what I am, taught methat being me is enough.And so tell me, why do I feel anxiousnesswhere there should be happiness? Whyis my first thought “oh no,” instead of “fuck yes”? Why do I just keep thinkinghow “I don’t want this to be made into a random circus about a random assperson,” and how I desperately “crave to simply enjoy my show, with my music,and my band, nothing else”. What is the reason behind me being concerned about going to a TH concertinstead of being out of this worldexcited to the point of denial as I’ve always been?Well, your answer has a name and a surname. And she’s pushing this fandomfurther away from the band, one person at a time.I won’t even go into the stealing a M&G photo and editing out the fan part.I’m exhausted. If by now people haven’t caught up on her sheer deranged stateof mind, then it’s beyond me. All I can ask of you now, anon, is to cross yourfingers for me, and hope that I end up this tour on that same high note that Iwanted it to end, even if I picked the utmost worst date to do so. And crossthem then some further, in case it all goes south and they bring her out onstage and want to make me sing happy birthday to her, making everyone feelactually obliged and required to give two flying fucks about her. Because then,I’ll need all the willpower in the world to not get drunk and just tell themoff, speaking honestly about how what they’re doing is plain unprofessional,and that I want my 4 member band back, because I never fucking signed up for a5th one.Sorry if this is too much of a mess or didn’t exactly go into any psychological-research if that’s what you were expecting. If you have further sub-questions (want me to further elaborate on the manipulative behavior maybe), or want me to have a go at specifically just the parent issue, do let me know, and I’ll be sure to give it some more thought and answer further. But right now, it just really felt good to vent, so thanks for giving me that opportunity nonnie! And thank you for appreciating my posts!

[getoffthesoapbox]

[VK/VKM] Meaningful Deaths Spring From Meaningful Lives

I’ve been pondering for a while now about the “pureblood dilemma” of the despair spiral. Purebloods all seem to fixate on death and the idea of death and finding a meaningful death, to the point where they become dangerously destructive toward the wider community around them. I had the opportunity to tackle this topic a bit via an anon ask I received some time ago, but I have more to say on the topic and I want to approach it differently in an official post.

This post isn’t a speculation per se; rather, it’s probably more accurate to call it a collection of my own chaotic thoughts on the matter. 

What is a Meaningful Life?

Most people believe meaning is found in happiness, and this appears to be what the purebloods believe as well. The problem with this is that that’s not where meaning is to be found for anyone--most “meaningful” experiences aren’t necessarily happy ones. (An example would be a trying project at work that ends successfully--the experience is meaningful because it helped one grow and expand as a person, but the actual experience was harrowing and tense and full of pressure.) 

Chasing happiness is ultimately a pipe dream because happiness is something that happens to you, it’s not something you can create. This is evident even in the purebloods who attain some form of happiness--Haruka and Juri get tired, Kaname admits that sometimes true loves aren’t enough to keep purebloods alive. And if you make happiness your life, what do you do when you’re not happy? Because a time will inevitably come when you are unhappy--even if you never get sick, a friend will, or you’ll lose something dear to you, or a tragedy will befall you. Suffering is an inextricable part of living. Pursuing happiness and pretending suffering away doesn’t alleviate any of the existential burden of suffering. 

So how do you live a meaningful life if pursuing happiness isn’t the answer? One way is to simply live your life by trying to avoid or minimize suffering at all costs. We see this very clearly with Isaya’s way of life--he minimizes his desires and tries to stay uncommitted to anything in order to erase any attachment to things or people that might cause him to enter the despair spiral. The problem with this way of life, as we can see from Isaya’s example, is that it is ultimately (as Kaname himself would say) “colorless.” There is no passion in Isaya’s life, no joy, no light. There’s not much suffering either, other than the suffering of living through long, neverending days. He has neither light, nor darkness. 

But most people can’t live such a zenlike existence, and even Isaya is searching for a way to die. This is an indication that neither pursuing happiness at all cost nor working to minimize suffering only is enough to give a life meaning. 

Another option we have for gaining meaning is one that actually does leave room for both minimizing suffering and “discovering” (or receiving) happiness along the way: purpose.

Purpose, at its core, is what purebloods should be seeking. But most of them get stuck at “pursuit of happiness” or “minimization of suffering.” Only one pureblood as far as I can tell ever found “purpose.” So, let’s figure out what purpose even is. Purpose is actually really simple and it’s very personal, unique, and individual to each person. The simplest way to boil it down is this: to have a purpose is to aim for the highest good you can conceive of and work tirelessly to achieve that good in spite of the obstacles and suffering you will face. Another way to look at this is the idea of “wishing on a star”--aiming for the highest point you can see in the sky and living your life to reach that point. 

Now, that may sound very similar to “pursuing happiness” but it’s actually not. Working toward “the good” isn’t necessarily something that will make you happy because it’s not easy. The way you craft a purpose actually requires being willing to bear your suffering and the suffering of others and do what you can to alleviate the suffering within your reach. Purpose begins with the simple acknowledgement of life being suffering, and that no matter which way you turn, you will suffer, so you must pick the path of suffering you think most worthwhile. And how is the worth of the path determined? By the “height” of the ultimate goal you select--and it doesn’t matter what that goal is, as long as it’s something that does the following for you: it makes you feel that all your suffering (that you’re inevitably going to go through) will be worthwhile.

In other words, “purpose” has nothing to do with happiness. Happiness happens incidentally when one is pursuing purpose. The truth of life is that even if you do nothing (as Isaya does), you will suffer. Suffering is the only true fact of life--everything is either some form of suffering, or death. (Even happiness itself or love come with suffering--the converse, the fear of loss, always accompanies happiness.) It’s incumbent upon each person to look at the paths of suffering available to them and select the option that will ultimately do the most good, not just for themselves, but for others as well. In more mythological terms, the point of purpose is the selection of the cross (weight) one will bear in the world (suffer) and WILLINGLY lifting it up and bearing it without complaint. 

The longer your lifespan, the bigger your purpose needs to be to accommodate the suffering you’ll encounter (because to live is to suffer). So purebloods have it really hard, because they have to account for eternal suffering. Admittedly, that’s a pretty tough thing to wrap one’s head around, but they do have a few tools available to help them achieve a meaningful life via a purpose. The problem is, only one of them ever figured it out, and she figured it out mostly by accident. 

The tools are as follows (in no particular order):

Think of what would be good for you now, 10 years from now, 100 years from now, etc.

Think of what would be good for you and good for your family now, 10 years from now, 100 years from now, etc.

Think of what would be good for you, your family, and your community now, 10 years from now, 100 years from now, etc.

Think of what would be good for you, your family, your community, and the world now, 10 years from now, 100 years from now, etc.

There are actually only a finite number of answers one can come up with using this method, because it does a few interesting things. First, it separates “you” into you, future you, eternal you. Therefore you’re not planning for just “you,” you’re planning for all the “yous” that will ever exist in the future as if they are different and distinct people. But you don’t stop there--once you’ve figured things out for yourself, you look outside yourself to your family, community, and world now, in the future, and into eternity. (Obviously humans would just do now and in the future, but purebloods need the eternity factor.) Then you orient your life around fulfilling the best possible way of living that accounts for every single one of these variables (obviously making adjustments as necessary and as you grow). If purebloods spent more time thinking about this than whining about how unfortunate they are, they’d probably be in better shape.

TL;DR - Purebloods focus on the wrong thing--happiness or minimizing suffering--in their lives. They should be focusing on finding “purpose” to their eternal suffering and steering their lives by the course of that purpose. Purpose should include more than just the pureblood’s own selfish interests--it should include the benefits to their future selves, their families, their friends, their communities, and their world. Only when they find a purpose that accounts for all these facets of their lives and strive willingly to bear the burden of their own suffering without complaint and try their best to alleviate suffering of their own and others’ will they find the meaningful lives they truly seek. 

When one has a meaningful life, one does not need a meaningful death nor does one fear death. And when the end does come (whether by the cure, or by sacrifice, or by the sword for purebloods), the meaningful life will produce a meaningful death as a natural byproduct. 

Why Purebloods Fail at Living Meaningful Lives

If humanity’s natural state is suffering, with only death to rescue us, how much worse is it for purebloods who can’t even escape the hell of living and have no death to comfort them when they are tired? Pureblood existence is by nature as hellish an existence as one could get--when they’re dissatisfied and nihilistic, they become bloodthirsty monsters like Rido or they can’t even bear the weight of living and take long naps and lose their hope in life like Ouri or Isaya. 

Naturally, the purebloods’ obsession turns not to life, but to death, because it is the one thing nature has denied them. The grim reaper wants no pureblood at his side. They’ll have to go through hoops to reach him. Over time since their inception, purebloods must have doe all sorts of things to try to kill themselves--surely they fought wars over it and tried to commit suicide in all manner of ways. Eventually they found at least one option that seemed to work--turning other purebloods into humans via the sacrifice of their lives. And while this is certainly a meaningful death in some sense (giving a loved one the opportunity to live in the light), it’s not a one-size-fits-all solution for the remainder of the purebloods. 

Because purebloods are so fixated on eternity and death, they become naval-gazers who can only see their own suffering and fail to see the damage they cause those around them via their destructive temper tantrums. A great example is Kaname in Yuuki’s memory from Night 51--Yuuki is a tiny child sitting with Kaname, and he’s unloading his eternal suffering onto her shoulders and naval-gazing about how sad eternity is. He’s not thinking or caring about the burden he’s placing on her, nor is he taking responsibility for his life--he’s only concerned about his own suffering. This is how purebloods pass on suffering to everyone they know--they don’t know how to serve.

Kaname’s a great example here too. During his ancestor days, he would “help” the villagers--but rather than his help being from his heart and out of a desire to serve the greater good he was looking to create for himself, what he was actually seeking was something as petty as “acceptance.” He was placing the burden of his suffering on the villagers, while at the same time stealing from them behind the scenes. When they (rightfully) became angry at his duplicity, he closed himself off from service (which he’d never truly done to begin with) and began the path of wallowing in his pain and licking his wounds that he continues throughout the remainder of his 10K+ lifespan. Not even the Hooded Woman’s clear example helps him see how he should be living his life. 

Complicating the purebloods’ self-centered tendencies is another problem--their charisma. Charismamones mean nobody but other purebloods can be “trusted” because all other beings are “prey” to purebloods and thus are affected by their charismamones. Purebloods cannot have friends among other variants of vampire or human because they can’t know for sure if the bonds are manipulated by their charismamones or not. (This is compounded by master/servant bonding.) However, the reason this is a problem is not actually due to the charismamones--it’s due to the purebloods placing a higher value on themselves than on the ones who are affected by their charismamones. This, again, is something the Hooded Woman is the only one of the purebloods not to do--she never once holds any resentment toward humans or lower vampires for falling for charismamones, nor does she seem to hold any disdain for such bonds. Thus, she doesn’t suffer over it like Kaname, Sara, and the other younger purebloods seem to.

So purebloods have a double punch here on the suffering front--they’re already inclined to be myopically obsessed with themselves and their own immortality and they can’t trust the bonds they form with anyone but other purebloods. On top of this, they become insanely attached to their romantic partners at the expense of all else, which can be a problem (see Shizuka) if that partner is not also a pureblood. These factors all lead to faster despair descents and deep nosedives into nihilism, on top of placing the “burden for happiness” on the shoulders of one person (see what Kaname does to Yuuki--he expects her to fill his world with color for all eternity, a heavy burden to place on anyone).

Fundamentally, purebloods have a misunderstanding of existence and how they should interact with the world because they have so many complexes--they believe themselves superior and inferior simultaneously, they’re obsessed with death and themselves but are also afraid of life and losing their lives, they’re afraid of manufactured bonds but are unable to let go of control, and even when they do form bonds, they’re often with lower level vampires  or humans who have finite lifespans and die. 

It’s really strange that a philosopher never rose out of the purebloods, though maybe this is because Hino isn’t any good at philosophy. But as far as I can tell, a philosopher might have been of use to the purebloods--someone to help them reorient themselves toward living. Rather than being obsessed with death, they should have become obsessed with life--or, rather, how to live a good life for all eternity in a world full of suffering. 

The Pureblood Who Got The Balance Right

The Hooded Woman is definitely the most remarkable of the purebloods. None of the others, not even Yuuki, ever surpass her. She was the first and the last, a symbol of greatness that was lost in time. I often wonder if Kaname was right--he should have been the forge, because the purebloods needed this woman far more than they needed him. Had she lived, perhaps the chaos the purebloods carried with them would have been mitigated. 

Still, this is a woman who had her priorities straight. She lived with purpose and did not sit around merely trying to find personal happiness or minimize her own suffering. She chose her goals and aimed for them no matter the cost. In life, she was fearless but also compassionate and had a huge heart--not only did she love humans, but she also loved vampires! Her “high aim” was to find a way for both of them to exist in the world without bloodshed or animosity. Of course, her first solution was to merely gather all the purebloods and sequester them on an island. But this proved difficult because there were obviously purebloods who just wanted to abuse their predator abilities, and she couldn’t convince everyone to join her. The plan had to be abandoned. 

But did this woman fall into despair and boo hoo over her fate? No, she merely changed directions and began fighting the purebloods abusing their power. She still continued to face suffering head on and shoulder the burden because she knew she was strong enough to bear it. I love the way she calls her parents fragile, and humans fragile. It shows how much she’s thought about the difference between herself and humans, and also how she values her own strength and ability to carry those fragile beings on her shoulders. 

And when the time came to face her death (or let Kaname die), she chose to face death courageously in order to protect everyone and still allow Kaname a chance to find his own purpose in life--a purpose that couldn’t be found in death. She offers her life to the hunters and becomes a weapon for 10,000 years. A tireless, unflagging weapon burning eternally on her own. The only pureblood in history to do so. Even Kaname only burns for 1000 years, and he gets to live again. Only the Hooded Woman saw it through to the end. 

Even so, she never once complains. She never once despairs. She carries on with a bold, brazen attitude and an unflagging, unwavering smile. I mean, heck, just look at that smile on her up there in the header image for this post--of all the major “deaths” in this series, only this woman truly lived and died in peace. I doubt she ever regretted a day in her life, unlike everyone else in this series. ;)

Had the purebloods followed her example, instead of burying her in time and forgetting her, how much happier would they all have been? How much better would their world and society have been, if they’d cheerfully carried the world on their shoulders as she did? 

Meaningful Deaths Spring From Meaningful Lives

When the Hooded Woman died, she was smiling. When Kaname cast his heart into the forge, he was suffering and in pain. Zero and Yuuki both smile when they die, but clearly they both still have regrets as they go--Zero, because he has to leave Yuuki alone, and Yuuki because she’s lost Zero and failed Kaname. 

We haven’t yet seen Kaname’s true death, but I hope he finally achieves what the Hooded Woman wanted for him--a meaningful life which leads to a meaningful death. But he’ll only find that if he can ever find a legitimate purpose for his life, and maybe as a human he can finally discover a purpose worth living 80 or so odd years for. 

But even Zero and Yuuki don’t achieve what the Hooded Woman achieved. Neither of them managed to find happiness for eternity. Still, they obviously get much closer to it than Kaname did before Yuuki turned him. We don’t know the road they take yet, or how difficult the suffering is, or how they choose to bear it. All we can say for certain is that Zero and Yuuki had meaningful enough lives that they could smile at the end of them, though clearly they still had some regrets as their smiles aren’t nearly Hooded Woman quality.

Now it’s Kaname’s turn to find purpose and, through purpose, meaning. Whether Hino’s going to show that or not, I don’t know. All I can say is, it’s clear to me these characters need to stop focusing on only themselves and their significant others and start looking at a wider picture in order to find the happiness they seek--which is really just purpose to make life worth living, with happiness as an incidental perk. Only when they find this can they face death without fear--something Yuuki’s clearly still struggling with even now in VKM. 

Time will tell, I suppose. 

[entergamingxp]

The Last of Us Part 2 review

The most common joke about the difficulty video games have reconciling their storytelling impulses with the violent action so many of them depend on revolves around the character Nathan Drake. Star of the Uncharted series, Drake is famed for his easygoing, flippant charm – yet over the course of a single game he will typically kill hundreds of people. They call him the smiling psychopath.

The Last of Us Part 2 review

Developer: Naughty Dog

Publisher: Sony

Platform: Reviewed on PS4 and PS4 Pro

Availability: Exclusive to PS4, released on 19th June.

The joke must have stung the Californian Sony studio Naughty Dog, Uncharted’s maker. In 2013 they started to grapple with its implications in The Last of Us, a moody post-apocalyptic thriller that upped the graphic brutality while seeking to frame it in the context of a desperate, cruel world, and also contrast it with the delicate bond developing between the protagonist, gruff smuggler Joel, and his cargo, a teen called Ellie.

Now The Last of Us has a sequel, and in that sequel the wrestling match between the game’s violent action and its thematic intentions has developed into a full-on, bareknuckle brawl. It is, perhaps for the first time in the history of big-budget action games, a fair match. It gets messy and problematic, and neither side comes out unscathed. But, by taking some big gambles, the developers land decisive blows that will send you reeling.

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This isn’t even all that The Last of Us Part 2 is attempting. This is a game about women – not about the female experience per se, but a game in which almost all the notable characters are women and in which they are not only shown exhibiting great capability and physical prowess, but also contending with dark impulses typically ascribed to men: trauma, obsession, rage and revenge. It is also a game featuring LGBTQ+ relationships and characters in a prominent but matter-of-fact way – it’s not a big deal, they are just there.

And it is doing all this, remember, while remaining very much a crowd-pleasing action spectacular in the Naughty Dog mould, with thrills and spills and scares, beauty and ruin and high adventure. It is a lot. Too much, really, and it is no surprise that this game gets away from its creators at times. (Yes, even the famously controlling Naughty Dog.) Not all of it works. Sometimes the tone veers into a depressing, distasteful nihilism. The characters’ motivations don’t always stack up. The cast is overstuffed and the subplots are often over- or undercooked. Some of its points are made with an almost laughable bluntness as it hurries on to its next big idea. At other times, it operates with rare subtlety and understatement. You will be halfway through the game before you understand what it’s actually doing and more than that before you really begin to feel its dread pull. Towards the very end, it is devastating.

The cast is great, but Ashley Johnson’s rawness, vulnerability and rage as Ellie is the standout performance.

It’s a very hard game to discuss without spoilers. I won’t share any specifics, but if you want to go in completely cold, it might be wise to stop reading.

The action is set four years after the events of The Last of Us, with intermittent flashbacks that fill us in on how the characters got from there to here. Joel and Ellie have settled in the self-sufficient community of Jackson, Wyoming. The awkwardness between them after Joel’s fateful actions at the end of the previous game seems to have widened into a rift. Ellie, less precocious and more defensive and spiky as a young adult, is on the verge of a relationship with a woman called Dina. In the aftermath of a snowstorm, something happens that sees Ellie and Dina set off for Seattle with revenge on their minds.

Seattle, where we spend the majority of the game’s runtime, is in bad shape. It’s in total ruins, partly flooded, and initially seems deserted but for pockets of infected, the grotesque fungal zombies that have brought society down. In fact, there’s a turf war raging here between two factions of survivors. The Washington Liberation Front, or Wolves, are a paramilitary organisation – a more warlike version of the first game’s Fireflies – that assumed control of the city from the government after a brutal uprising. They have a darkly charismatic leader called Isaac (a cameo by the magnetic actor Jeffrey Wright), and once we learn more about them, they paint a strikingly different picture of post-outbreak survivalism than the frontiersman stylings of the Jacksonites. The Seraphites, or Scars, are less well drawn, a cut-and-paste post-apocalytpic spooky cult that is never given a plausible reason for existing.

Once again, the score is by Gustavo Santaolalla and is excellent, pairing banjo ruminations with threatening electronic minimalism. There’s also a surprisingly touching musical cameo from a certain 80s pop hit.

On the warpath, Ellie inserts herself into this struggle and starts causing all sorts of havoc – but only after a lovely lull. When she and Dina first arrive in Seattle, the game’s remorseless linear momentum is briefly broken for a pocket of open-world exploration of the ruined downtown district (an evolution of a similar episode in Uncharted: The Lost Legacy). It’s a wonderfully atmospheric scene-setter. After this, we’re back on Naughty Dog’s beaten path for the rest of the game, although the environments are roomy and complex enough to allow for satisfying close exploration as you scavenge for supplies, as well as affording a great deal of flexibility when it comes to combat encounters.

It’s during combat that you’re most aware that you’re playing a sequel from one of the world’s most fastidious developers (albeit one that has seldom been known for the refinement of its gameplay mechanics). The careful iteration and professionalism of the design team are very evident. It retains The Last of Us’ lean, muscular set-up, in which scarcity of ammo and supplies constantly forces you to experiment. Some of the rougher edges have been knocked off, but not so many as to eradicate its essentially scrappy nature – panicky, desperate scrapes and unintended messy bloodbaths are very much part of the vibe.

So is stealth, which thanks to some mechanical lifts from Uncharted 4 and the addition of a prone stance is much more viable and satisfying to play; this is now a pretty well-sorted stealth game in its own right. Like any game in which death comes quickly, it can still frustrate, but a very clever smart autosave system keeps good pace with your progress and means you’ll seldom need to restart a whole encounter. (The whole game experience is unbelievably slick and seamless, even by Naughty Dog’s standards.) My chief complaint is that you spend more time battling humans than infected, and they’re actually the less interesting – as well as less scary – combatants to face.

Who knows why Naughty Dog really chose to break off development of Factions multiplayer, but we can be grateful in a way – entering a jolly deathmatch fray with these characters after playing the campaign would feel very off.

The violence is extremely graphic, uncomfortably so. It’s full of ugly flourishes, like the splattering sound of shotgun pellets ripping apart flesh, or the vicious flick that Ellie uses to slice open a neck as she performs a stealth kill. It can be sickening. Intentionally so? Surely. But I still can’t help but detect a sour, grubby note of gratification to it, particularly in the repetitive context of the combat. Sometimes it breaks your connection to Ellie in a way that doesn’t serve the game. Sometimes, in cutscenes, it’s just taken too far, more than is needed to leave an impact or make a point.

This is one reason why I initially suspected The Last of Us Part 2 of being too caught up in its own grim attitude, of just being highly polished misery porn. Another is that, with its attention divided between so many ambitious gambits, with an expanding cast of characters and with most of the action taking place over a matter of days, it doesn’t have the first game’s gentle but constant emotional core – that delicious slow thawing between Ellie and Joel, melting into love as you journey with them over the course of a year. (Ellie and Dina’s romance might have been that, but it doesn’t get the necessary screen time – admittedly for good reasons.) Without that warmth, that heart, it seems a bitter world to spend time in.

The guitar is fully playable using a thumbstick to choose chords and swipe of the trackpad to strum. It’s a sweet addition, although springing a sentimental country ballad on us in the first 10 minutes is perhaps a bit much.

I’m happy to report that my first impressions were wrong. Unfortunately, I can’t and shouldn’t fully explain why. I’ll limit myself to this: Druckmann and his team have a grand plan that rests on a radical structure for the game which isn’t initially apparent. Once you finally understand it, it’s still a slow burn, as the writers’ delicate character-building – the dialogue is wonderfully understated and naturalistic – needs time to do its work. So it isn’t until the game’s final stretches that it gathers its true power, as you approach a point that is all the more horrifying for its total inevitability.

It’s a huge roll of the dice from the developers, but it works, and the pay-off is almost indescribable. It would be too much to claim that you will never feel the same about video game violence again, but the shock is profound and discomfiting. It’s gut-wrenching stuff. There’s more to come as the game approaches an ending that is just as affecting and emotionally complex as its predecessor’s, if not, perhaps, as ambiguous.

The thing that really struck me – and pleasantly surprised me, coming as it does from a developer so transparently in love with the language of cinema – is that The Last of Us Part 2’s power is wholly unique to it being a video game. There is a special kind of empathy that develops between a player and a game protagonist that no other medium can reproduce. It’s this bond that Druckmann and his team have exploited to such devastating effect. It is a sad and timely reminder of the simultaneous importance and impossibility of living someone else’s experience. Play it, and listen.

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2020/06/the-last-of-us-part-2-review/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=the-last-of-us-part-2-review

[blog-optimisticcoffeestuden-blog]

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i was in a car accident, a truck driver bump my car. i bought this car with an open deed of sale. now how will i handle this? the insurance of the car is named after the first owner. will i still have to contact her (the first owner)? will i still have to call the insurance company to let them know? again, this wasn't my fault, the truck bump my car.""

How high are my Insurance rates going to get up too?

I am 17 turning 18 and i am looking at getting a 2000 Pontiac trans am with 28,000 miles. how much do you think my monthly payments will be on that car at my age for full coverage? and i have been in a n accident in the winter i slid into a tree so how much do you think that will be? I have state farm. Thanks for any help you may have.""

Cheapest car insurers for 17 year olds?

Which websites offer cheap/reasonable insurance offers for new drivers? Im 17 so I wanna find the best deal!

How much is car insurance for a jeep wrangler?

i am 18 and have a clean driving record

Car insurance for a new driver aged 21?

hi, im really close to taking my driving test, and i will be 19 when i hopefully pass. but i know that i would be unable to afford car insurance just yet! however, i would be hoping to maybe get a car when i am round about 21 or 22, as i will hopefully be in a more of a position to buy and run a car! however i was wondering if you could give me a rough ESTIMATE on how much the insurance would cost! i would be looking at getting a car such as a Nissan Micra, and would more than likely get a 1.0 litre! if you could give me an ESTIMATE on how much it could cost, so i can get a general idea! i know its hard to give an exact price, but lets just say the car is all safe and has been MOT'd and is being parked in a garage! hope you can all help, oh and its for a MALE!""

CRAZY Insurance Premium! Any way out?

From Toronto, Ontario, I am a 19 y/o male and want my own vehicle. Without paying a crazy insurance rate of $6000+ per year, how can a 3rd vehicle be purchased and licensed under my parent's name (I live with them) having them as the primary driver? The problem is, from what I know, if I am licensed and living at the same address, I will automatically be primary driver of the 3rd vehicle as now there are 3 drivers and 3 vehicles. So what if my parents had 6 cars? There must be some way out..""

Car insurance.......?

I'm 25 years old and a first time driver and I am currently looking at car insurance and have some questions: SKODA FABIA 1 (60) 1198cc What does the (60) mean, is that the top engine speed? Also I was on Gocompare's car insurance website and I was wondering if the 'Proposer Excess' was added into the Annual Premium price or if it is to be added on top of it. I know these might sound like silly questions but I am new to this and any help would be appreciated. If you need more information just ask.""

""If the officer did not check my insurance, will the ticket show up on my insurance bill?""

Basically what the question says. I was speeding in Virginia and when the officer pulled me over he only check my license and registration. I paid the ticket almost a month before it was due and have yet to hear if my insurance rates went up. My father pays for my insurance so, maybe he just hasn't said anything but I just wanted to ask the community if since the officer didn't check for my insurance, does that mean my rates won't increase? Preferably, I'd like a cop to answer this, but peer comments are still appreciated. Thanks!!""

infinity insurance houston

infinity insurance houston

Which auto insurance is cheapest in new orleans?

Which auto insurance is cheapest in new orleans?

Do I need car insurance in Florida?

I passed my 4 our class on drugs and alcohol. I'm waiting for my certificate to come in the mail so I can go to the DMV and get my learners permit. Do I need insurance even though I'm not going to be driving my own car? I'll be driving my friends car. Sources? What's the cheapest insurance for a 16 year old male? Name of insurance and cost? Why would I need it if I don't even have a car and I'm driving my friends car?

Cost of ticket for driving without insurance?

im 16 and i need to get to work tomorow...my stepmom has to work so the only way to get to work is taking my dad's 2007 toyota tundra. if i get pulled over about how much will the ticket cost? i have my liscense just not insurance. i also live in texas

How Does Full Coverage Auto Insurance Work?

How Does Full Coverage Auto Insurance Work?

Truck registration in different state health insurance?

I lived in california and drove a car my dad had under his name on the title. He died and i moved to montana with that same car. I have been on my step moms health insurance plan for some time. I am legally able to be on her plan as long as i list myself as being in the same household until age 26. I was wondering if i register that truck in my name if uncle sam can find out i moved and thus making my health insurance unusable. Should i just drop my step moms insurance and struggle to get my own? What are my options?

How much do you pay per month for your car insurance and gas?

How much do you pay per month for your car insurance and gas?

Car insurance... Who are you insure with/best quotes. Will choose quick best answer.?

Who is the cheapest insurance company o go with for a 20 year old male whom has been driving for 3 years. Getting insure on a mazda 6. Thank you

Are there anyways of lowering my car insurance? 19 Yr Old Male.?

Im a 19 year old male and I have my own suzuki swift sport which I have worked hard for for the last few years. The only thing is my insurance is around 3000 a year (brand new car)........ I dont mind going on my mothers insurance for example, im not worried about not being able to build my own no claims bonus............................. I have done a small amount of research into going onto my mothers policy and it wasn't that much cheaper........................are there and other ways of legal going about this? Thanks for your time, Matt.""

Does anyone know any affordable health insurance for a college student?

Does anyone know any affordable health insurance for a college student?

Does Amica raise your insurance rates after first speeding ticket?

I live and am licensed in MA but got a speeding ticket in NH. I believe NH and MA share information so it will be treated as if it happened in Massachusetts. I am on a family plan with Amica car insurance, does anyone know if they will raise my rates? It is my first traffic violation of any kind. Will I lose any discounts like safe driving discount? I heard Massachusetts has a law where the first speeding ticket does not add insurance points? Is this true? If it is true, can Amica still raise your rates if they want to? Thanks""

Car Insurance Quote..Without a license yet..?

I have just been bought a car for when i pass my driving test, so i do not have a full UK provisional license yet. I have been looking online for insurance quotes, they are expensive which i expected, but i was told that when i have entered my details the system will register that i do not hold a full license with he DVLA (even though i put in that i do, just for the sake of a quote) And this is why the quotes are higher..if i was to do the same when my license was valid it would be much lower. Can anybody add proof to this? Thanks""

""A starter motorbike for a 17 year old, needs to be cheap second hand and be able to ride on the motorway.?""

Hi, i need a bike which is cheap to run, cheap to insure and first and foremost cheap to buy. I don't mind old second hand bikes unless advised against them because I believe you could learn a great deal repairing an old bike than having a new bike that nothing goes wrong with. It needs to grow with my abilities, i.e in a couple of years when i go to university I may want to motorway travel, therefore a 50 cc moped is just not going to do. Don't know whether this is correct, but I once read bikes are safer than mopeds/scooters because they have the acceleratory power to pull away from danger if necessary. Needs to be cheap to insure, I looked at a 300cc MZ Saxon and fully comp insurance was around 317. This is manageable, 2000 for a car is not. Please suggest to me some bike which fit these criteria, thanks!""

How much car insurance a month for a 16 year old?

I live in the state of Louisiana. My family has Progressive. I plan on driving soon.

Where can I get insurance in New York City?

Hi everyone and thanks for reading, I know it's probably a stupid couple questions but I'm trying to figure this out, perhaps i'm not looking in the right places. Anyway I need to know a couple things: 1) Where can I get health insurance in NEW YORK CITY for my employees? 2) Where can I get insurance again in NYC for my company? Thanks everyone!""

Would you buy rapture insurance?

If you believe in the rapture, would you purchase insurance to be paid out to your family members you have 'left behind'. I mean if you're the bread winner, and just 'vanish'. Who is going to pay the rent, who is going to buy the food. People carry life insurance, and have social security to help families, but I'm pretty sure they wouldn't cover 'rapture'... --not superstitious""

Cheap Cars to Insure for 17 year olds?

Hi, I am 17 was was wondering if anyone knows of any cheap cars to insure that they could recommend. Cheers Kieran.. (P.s., if that's OK maybe you could roughly say how much your insurance was or approx how much it would be?)""

Best insurance company for a 16 year old driving a v6 or v8 camaro?

my thought is that while a v6 camaro might be reasonable to insure a 16 year old driver with, the v8 wouldbe some unuearthly figure in the 8 digits. i know its based on SO many things, but im just asking if anyone has a HUNCH about what insurance company is the best/cheapest for a teen driving a camaro? assume its a v8, ad it cant get any worse if it ended up being a v6, if you know what i mean. btw dont say american faimily. they wont even insure a person with less than 5 years driving experience driving a v8 camaro AT ALL, let alone at a huge rate. finally, do you think there is any way on earth for insurance for a 16year old driving a (2000 lets just say for example) camaro v8? including all the little bonuses like good grades, clean record, etc. all of which i have. thanks so much for your answers! they REALLY help!""

A IF Car insurance question?

For example. Got a insurance paper from Jan 1st 2010 to Jan 1st 2011 But i stoped the insurance at June 2010 for example, after that i get pulled at July so police checked the papers and see its still with insurance and let me go? How you think about it? Means you dont have to pay insurance and wont get res until you got into a accident and the other side wants to tell the insurance company?""

Does anyone know of cheap health insurance in north carolina?

am a father of two and my wife has her and the kids covered under her policy at work. I have not had insurance in over 12 years! I need low cost health insurance and I have heard of plans under $100. I obviously never get sick, and dont mind a high deductible. I really need a low premium and a semi low RX cost and co-pay/ doctor visit (just in case). Any help or suggestions? Thanks!!!""

Can you register and buy a (cheap) car with no license or insurance?

I want to know if i can register a very cheap car thats around 2,000 tops at a used car lot and buy it with no problems.What problems will i face isnt it easyier to get a cheap car like this then at a actual new dealer i have no license or insurance do i pick a dealer with in house financing the only thing they will most likely ask for is it to get registered can i do that im paying half down.?im 21 im getting my license in 2 weeks (and no i cant wait)""

Why do people in the US waste money on car insurance?

There are 5 states such as California where 25% of the public has NO car insurance...while the rest of the country has an average of 7% uninsured. Obviously no one is enforcing insurance so...why bother getting insurance at all. Isn't it cheaper to have none..and more un-American to have it? After all, Americans generally think they should not have to pay for anything, so why pay for anything at all?""

Estimate on how much my car insurance will be?

I'm financing a new (or relatively new) car pretty soon, it's probably going to be a Nissan Altima which is a very safe car and is probably going to be either brand new or no more than 1 - 3 years old. I'm just worried about how much I'm going to be paying for full coverage insurance because I haven't had a car in a couple years thus I haven't had car insurance in a while and when I did, it was only no-fault insurance. Also, I'm young (22) so that will make my insurance high. However, I have a spotless driving record so that should help. I also live in a safe county if that matters. Anyone have a ball-park figure on how much I can expect to be paying, monthly? Thanks.""

If an unisured driver is at fault in an accident where the other party had full coverage insurance. ?

Does the fully covered drivers insurance sue the non-insured driver?

Question about affordable/good health insurance?

Question about affordable/good health insurance?

Is there any life insurance you can get for stroke victims?

My sister had a massive stroke and she needs life insurance because she may die.

infinity insurance houston

infinity insurance houston

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