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torn-and-frayed-dream · 5 years ago

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the drunk history of Fall Out Boy ft. Brendon Urie but it’s Shakespeare

It’s summer of 2001; joe meets patrick and he’s like “yo, i knoweth about music. ” and patrick’s like “yo, i knoweth moo about music. ” "that’s impossible! doth thee wanna start a band?” and patrick’s like, “…yeah… that’s merit. ” and then he’s like “yo, this is a booketh store, t's not a music store!”

and then they hath met at patrick’s house. And patrick’s wearing shorts and socks and a coxcomb. Patrick is playin’ drums f'r some fuckin’ reason! and pete’s thither f'r some reason! they start playin’ music together. And they're like “oh, let’s playeth some fuckin’ covers from some other bands!” t wast like, green day and fuckin’ misfits and fuckin’ ramones! pete hath said to joe, “yo, we gotta changeth this the horror up! yo, we’ve did play all these bands; let’s playeth the horror from falleth out knave. ” and so pete and patrick art like “yo, that’s dope. But we needeth a fuckin’ drummer!” because patrick’s playin’ drums and he’s a singer! patrick's like “yo! i did get a soul voice!” and they're like “wait, how doth thee has't a soul voice?” and he’s like “yo, gaze this: yeah!” and they’re like “oh mine own god! yond sounds like soul!” so they putteth t in the song and t wast like “where is thy knave tonight!”

and then they’re like: “yo, yond's fuckin’ perfect. This is falleth out knave. ” and they madeth records like, evening out with thy ex-girlfriend. Evening out with thy ex-girlfriend, everybody loves it. [pete corrects brendon] it's hath called evening out with thy girlfriend.

[brendon ignores pete] with thy ex-girlfriend! t's hath called evening out with thy ex-girlfriend! it's hath called eating out thy girlfriend, and t's real and t doesn't matter.

and pete did talk to patrick and joe and he wast like “yo, what the alas! yo, this is gonna beest fuckin’ dope!” so they madeth a record, and t wast hath called: taketh this to thy grave. they madeth t without a drummer! and they hadst like three, four drummers cometh in. the four drummers they hadst cometh in wast like: josh freese, neil peart, the broth'r from toto… the fourth one wast like the guy from papa roach 'r something. and they wast like, “yo, we needeth andy hurley. Andy hurley. Taketh this to thy grave. Fuckin' record t. ” and he didst t, and he hath killed t. he wast like, bigadigadigalalululapssshhhh! killing the skins! tapping the skins! tapping the rims! playing the the horror! killing these braches! wrapping t out!

[brendon to pete] (you're getting a fucking tattoo even but now! what the alas is going on?!)

“we shouldst receiveth signed, to fuel'd by ramen. 'cause these guys knoweth what the alas is going on. ” and they wast like “yo, if 't be true thee can maketh our scene any bigger than t is, which is not fuckin' hard, we shall sign thee guys. " pete wast like ”yo! we did get this record that’s fuckin’ dope, broth'r! t's hath called taketh this to thy grave. “ ho, t's gonna beest hath called from under the cork tree, t's gonna beest fuckin' huge. and then patrick’s like "i gotta keepeth t real, i gotta keepeth t artistic. These art three songs yond art gonna maketh the album and t's hath called (burp), this is hath called: 'thnks fr th mmrs,' '20 dollar nose bleed,' and 'sugar, we're goin' down. ' and they madeth this record yond wast fucking dope and t fucking hitteth on the charts. like: one, two, three! three, two one! three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten! ten to one! from under the cork tree did sell like, four million records! ten million records! fifteen million records! and brendon urie hadst nothing to doth with the entire record. And patrick wast like “that's valorous!” pete wast like “yo, alas thee! i can doth there's few or none will entertain it i wanteth!” joe wast like “yeah, t's merit sir, whatever… i don’t giveth a the horror. ” and then andy wast like “eh… merit!” and pete wast like "makeup is fuckin’ most wondrous f'r a guy. Because t maketh a guy behold quite quaint. Which a lot of times, a guy is not quite quaint. And i wanna changeth yond. I wanna maketh sure everybody thinkest yond guys art quite quaint. "

(-i'm valorous so far. -you wanna spit one moo time? -yeah, i doth . Did shut the alas!. )

pete wast like “oh mine own god, i’m so embarrass'd about this dick pic!” and then i did see the dick pic, and i wast like “eh, t's not lacking valor. T's not a lacking valor dick. Let’s beest real. ” we madeth rolling stone one issue ere falleth out knave. And falleth out knave madeth the issue right after us and they wast so pissed! they wast like “yo, alas thee guys!” they wast like “yo! panic hast the fucking covereth of rolling stone? yo, alas these dudes! we're gonna fucking wend miles above! we're gonna hitteth every fucking continent thither is known to sir!” but they didn’t! because they did miss a second of time. apparently, they wast like: “oh, the horror we did get every continent. ” and they didn’t actually hitteth t. broth'r, pete wast like "what the alas?” oh, thee didn’t fuckin’ maketh the continent. T's like, alas thee!

so from under the cork tree happeneth, we fuckin' has't three, four years of awesomeness! like people art cumming on themselves, 'cause t's so big! so falleth out knave wast like, so patrick’s like “yo, we're gonna name this record from under the cork tree and from infinity on high. ” pete wast like “yo, folie à deux means the theatric of two. ” falleth out knave wast like “yo, we gotta taketh a break” meaning, pete wast like “yo, we gotta taketh a breaketh bro” and patrick’s like, “i needeth time f'r mine own music! uhhh!” and joe's like “yo, i needeth time to findeth the fuckin’ art broth'r i gotta findeth some fuckin’ meau-metal. ” and andy’s like “i’m just gonna playeth with some fuckin' metal bands. ”

and they wast like, “alright, this breaks been like three years long. Two years long. three years long. three and a half? we gotta fuckin’ cometh back sir. We gotta cometh back stout!

(-you tooketh mine own beer hence, what the alas?! -no, thee did pour t all ov'r yourself! -yeah, thee did pour t on yourself, sir. )

we gotta maketh this the horror legit. T's gonna beest fuckin' dope. T's gonna wend fuckin' sky high. We're gonna maketh a fuckin' record yond sails the skies. we're gonna calleth this record: save rock and roll. so they madeth "alone together", "light 'em up", "alone together", "phoenix". and everyone’s like “what the alas? you’re working with this guy who is't fuckin' record'd avril lavigne and p!nk!”

(-what the alas is this on mine own shirt, didst i heave the gorge on mine own shirt? -no, thee did pour beer all ov'r yourself. -oh god. )

pete wast like: “yo, we're gonna end up on the tour with panic! at the disco and twenty pilots. ” (burp, spit) and that’s all. And that’s all yond matters. And yond is how the fucking story goeth.

#drunk history of fall out boy #shakespeare #mine

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killerqueenjoy · 6 years ago

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THE SHAKESPEAREAN DRUNK HISTORY OF FALL OUT BOY THAT NO ONE ASKED FOR

It’s summ'r of 2001; joe meets patrick and he’s liketh “yo, i knoweth about music. ”

and patrick’s liketh “yo, i knoweth m're about music. ”

"that’s impossible! doth thee wanna starteth a band?”

and patrick’s liketh, “…yeah… that’s merit. ”

and then he’s liketh “yo, this is a booketh st're, t's not a music st're!”

and then those gents hath met at patrick’s house. And patrick’s wearing sh'rts and socks and a coxcomb. Patrick is playin’ drums f'r some fuckin’ reasoneth! and pete’s th're f'r some reasoneth! those gents starteth playin’ music togeth'r. And those gents're liketh “oh, let’s playeth some fuckin’ cov'rs from some oth'r bands!” t wast liketh, green day and fuckin’ misfits and fuckin’ ramones!

pete hath said to joe, “yo, we gotta changeth this the horror up! yo, we’ve did play all these bands; let’s playeth the horror from falleth out knave. ”

and so pete and patrick art liketh “yo, that’s dope. But we needeth a fuckin’ drumm'r!” because patrick’s playin’ drums and he’s a singeth'r!

patrick's liketh “yo! i did get a soul voice!”

and those gents're liketh “wait, how doth thee has't a soul voice?”

and he’s liketh “yo, gaze this: yeah!”

and they’re liketh “oh mine own god! yond sounds liketh soul!” so those gents putteth t in the song and t wast liketh “where is thy knave tonight!”

and then they’re liketh: “yo, yond's fuckin’ p'rfect. This is falleth out knave. ” and those gents madeth rec'rds liketh, evening out with thy ex-girlfriend. Evening out with thy ex-girlfriend, ev'rybody loves t.

[pete c'rrects brendon]

t's hath called evening out with thy girlfriend.

[brendon ign'res pete]

with thy ex-girlfriend! t's hath called evening out with thy ex-girlfriend!

t's hath called eating out thy girlfriend, and t's real and t doesn't matt'r.

and pete did talk to patrick and joe and that gent wast liketh “yo, what the alas! yo, this is gonna beest fuckin’ dope!”

so those gents madeth a rec'rd, and t wast hath called: taketh this to thy grave.

those gents madeth t without a drumm'r! and those gents hadst liketh three, four drumm'rs cometh in.

the four drumm'rs those gents hadst cometh in w're liketh: josh freese, neil peart, the broth'r from toto… the fourth one wast liketh the guy from papa roach 'r something.

and those gents w're liketh, “yo, we needeth andy hurley. Andy hurley. Taketh this to thy grave. Fuckin' rec'rd t. ” and that gent didst t, and that gent hath killed t.

that gent wast liketh, bigadigadigalalululapssshhhh!

killing the skins! tapping the skins! tapping the rims! playing the the horror! killing these braches! wrapping t out!

[brendon to pete]

(you're getting a fucking tattoo even but now! what the alas is going on?!)

“we shouldst receiveth signed, to fuel'd by ramen. 'cause these guys knoweth what the alas is going on. ”

and those gents w're liketh “yo, if 't be true thee can maketh our scene any bigg'r than t is, which is not fuckin' hard, we shall signeth thee guys. "

pete wast liketh ”yo! we did get this rec'rd that’s fuckin’ dope, broth'r! t's hath called taketh this to thy grave. “

ho, t's gonna beest hath called from und'r the c'rk tree, t's gonna beest fuckin' huge.

and then patrick’s liketh "i gotta keepeth t real, i gotta keepeth t artistic. These art three songs yond art gonna maketh the album and t's hath called (burp), this is hath called: thnks fr th mmrs, 20 dollar nose bleedeth, and sugar we're goin down.

and those gents madeth this rec'rd yond wast fucking dope and t fucking hitteth on the charts.

liketh: one, two, three! three, two one! three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten! ten to one!

from und'r the c'rk tree did sell liketh, four million rec'rds!

ten million rec'rds!

fifteen million rec'rds!

and brendon urie hadst nothing to doth with the entire rec'rd. And patrick wast liketh “that's valorous!”

pete wast liketh “yo, alas thee! i can doth whatev'r i wanteth!”

joe wast liketh “yeah, t's merit sir, whatev'r… i don’t giveth a the horror. ” and then andy wast liketh “eh… merit!”

and pete wast liketh "makeup is fuckin’ most wondrous f'r a guy. Because t maketh a guy behold quite quaint. Which a lot of times, a guy is not quite quaint. And i wanna changeth yond. I wanna maketh sure ev'rybody thinkest yond guys art quite quaint. "

(-i'm valorous so far.

-you wanna spiteth one m're timeth?

-yeah, i doth

. Did shut the alas!. )

pete wast liketh “oh mine own god, i’m so embarrass'd about this dick pic!”

and then i did see the dick pic, and i wast liketh “eh, t's not lacking valor. T's not a lacking valor dick. Let’s beest real. ”

we madeth rolling stone one issue bef're falleth out knave. And falleth out knave madeth the issue right aft'r us and those gents w're so pissed!

those gents w're liketh “yo, alas thee guys!”

those gents w're liketh “yo! panic hast the fucking cov'r of rolling stone? yo, alas these dudes! we're gonna fucking wend miles above! we're gonna hitteth ev'ry fucking continent th're is known to sir!”

but those gents didn’t! because those gents did miss a second of timeth.

apparently, those gents w're liketh: “oh, the horror we did get ev'ry continent. ” and those gents didn’t actually hitteth t.

broth'r, pete wast liketh "what the alas?”

oh, thee didn’t fuckin’ maketh the continent. T's liketh, alas thee!

so from und'r the c'rk tree happeneth, we fuckin' has't three, four years of awesomeness!

liketh people art cumming on themselves, 'cause t's so big!

so falleth out knave wast liketh, so patrick’s liketh “yo, we're gonna nameth this rec'rd from und'r the c'rk tree and from infinity on high. ”

pete wast liketh “yo, folie à deux means the theatric of two. ”

falleth out knave wast liketh “yo, we gotta taketh a break” meaning, pete wast liketh “yo, we gotta taketh a breaketh bro”

and patrick’s liketh, “i needeth timeth f'r mine own music! uhhh!”

and joe's liketh “yo, i needeth timeth to findeth the fuckin’ art broth'r i gotta findeth some fuckin’ meau-metal. ”

and andy’s liketh “i’m just gonna playeth with some fuckin' metal bands. ”

and those gents w're liketh, “alright, this breaks been liketh three years longeth. Two years longeth.

three years longeth.

three and a half?

we gotta fuckin’ cometh backeth sir. We gotta cometh backeth stout!

(-you tooketh mine own beest'r hence, what the alas?!

-no, thee did pour t all ov'r yourself!

-yeah, thee did pour t on yourself, sir. )

we gotta maketh this the horror legit. T's gonna beest fuckin' dope. T's gonna wend fuckin' sky high. We're gonna maketh a fuckin' rec'rd yond sails the skies.

we're gonna calleth this rec'rd: saveth rocketh and rolleth.

so those gents madeth "alone togeth'r", "light 'em up", "alone togeth'r", "phoenix".

and ev'ryone’s liketh “what the alas? you’re w'rking with this guy who is't fuckin' rec'rd'd avril lavigne and p!nk!”

(-what the alas is this on mine own shirt, didst i heave the gorge on mine own shirt?

-no, thee did pour beest'r all ov'r yourself.

-oh god. )

pete wast liketh: “yo, we're gonna endeth up on the toureth with panic! at the disco and twenty pilots. ”

(burp, spiteth)

and that’s all. And that’s all yond matt'rs. And yond is how the fucking st'ry goeth

(I'm sorry)

#fall out boy #fob #falloutboy #patrickstump #petewentz #andyhurley #joetrohman #drunkhistoryoffalloutboy #brendonurie

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