#neil and jean will be partners forever and it made my heart sing knowing that neil feels the same way

[sadboyjacinter]

feeling fucking sick after reading the sunshine court and then rereading the banquet scene where jean lists off all of neil's false identities. like u know jean was staring at this man who was supposed to be his partner—his brother—with so much resentment. he looked at him and thought of what could have been. i know jean says the names casually but i like to think with every name his tone became a little more clipped. each identity a reminder of who neil was supposed to be, who he was supposed to be for jean. and it probably hurt even more that it was kevin who found him. kevin who gets everything. kevin who gets to leave. and now, kevin who gets to have HIS partner. jean was devastated in ways neil and kevin couldnt even comprehend.

[exyjunkies]

your writing is 11/10 and i would DIE if you could do jerejean with ‘your apartment is next to/above mine and i can hear you and your partner dancing and singing and the bed moving and you two laughing and talking in hushed tones and it won’t let me sleep so i bitch about it to you 24/7 and one day it stops and one day turns to one week and then months and i haven’t seen you smile in forever please let me in, i’ve been knocking for ten minutes’ au.

let’s try this one!!

au meme: jerejean + your apartment is next to/above mine

“Jeremy,” Jean whines, knocking multiple times on apartment number 23, waiting for some sort of answer.

The silence was incredibly frustrating, loud enough to make Jean grind his teeth. He wonders if he should just go back to his own apartment, which was just right next to Jeremy’s. He could always leave the pineapple upside-down cake he was holding right now just outside the door, and hope that it doesn’t invite their other neighbors to mooch off of it.

He doesn’t know why he cares so much, up until now. Jeremy is unavailable, for all intents and purposes. She wasn’t the perfect girlfriend, but Jeremy seemed to have such an amazing time with her. Maybe Jean just got used to calling him out for being too loud, even at the most ungodly hours. The worst one was them blasting Dancing Queen and singing to it. At 2 in the morning.

It’s been a few months since that last noise transgression. Ever since the silence started, Jean hasn’t stopped feeling weird about it.

(And no, Jean doesn’t ‘just want a reason to keep coming over to Jeremy’s’. No matter what Neil says. He’s not that type of guy.)

As annoyed at the noise as he was, Jean’s no stranger to being in love. He gets it. He thinks he was, at some point, in love with Renee - the one and only girl that has given him the time of day. Maybe part of what’s responsible for that was Jean’s (somewhat) commendable bravery in going all the way down to her organization’s office on 5th and asking her if she wanted to grab a bite for lunch.

Of course, working at a media company meant Jean was able to take as much time as he needed for his lunch break. It was only a matter of explaining to his superiors that he needed the time for a creativity breather.

Right after that, things were smooth-sailing… until they weren’t. It was a great four-and-a-half months, but for Jean, the relationship stopped giving him anything. It came to a point that he didn’t want to keep trying. And he was never one to lie about how he felt, not even after Renee admitted to him that she loved him. And so, over drinks and dinner that Thursday night, Jean broke it off, on the reason that his heart just wasn’t in the right place to keep the relationship going.

Which would’ve set off most girls, but Renee was several levels of understanding about it. Through her tears, she nodded, and held out her hand to ask, “Still want to be friends?”

Two months later, she’s dating one of her co-workers, and she tells Jean about it on a regular basis. Of course, Jean had to be the one that asked about it to get any info on the matter, but that’s only because Renee remains as angelic and wholesome as ever. That they remained friends was more of Jean’s persistence and less of Renee’s actual efforts to keep in touch. Still, they were better off as friends anyway.

She’s happier now, Jean thinks, a small smile on his face. However confusing that time of his life was, he’s still glad he was able to make her happy in his own way.

“Open up, Jeremy, you’re not fooling anyone,” Jean tries again, knocking on the door. His phone buzzes in the pocket of his joggers.

“Hello?”

“Jean?” Neil’s voice comes through the phone. Jean could hear the clinks of utensils against plates. “Andrew and I have some dinner left over. Wanna take it off our hands?”

In the background, Jean hears, “Moreau? Consider me out of here.”

“No thanks, Neil,” Jean replied, putting the phone in between his ear and shoulder. “Seems like your boyfriend remains resistant to any and all forms of human interaction apart from what he gets from you.”

There was a pause, and then Neil’s voice sounds farther away. “I put you on speaker. Andrew, be nice to the man.”

Jean hears a rush of water, presumably from their faucet. Andrew goes, “I can’t help it if one person in my life is already too much.”

“Don’t listen to him,” Neil cuts in, the tone of amusement very obvious to Jean. “It’s lasagna. Andrew made it. He used his knives. Without the violent undertones.”

“And how can you be sure it’s not–”

“Poisoned?” Andrew cuts in. The scrape of a chair. The setting of two mugs on the table. Then, “It’s because I’ve decided not to kill Neil tonight.”

“And it’s not as if you have any other plans, so. Please?” 

Jean huffs. “You know who I’m waiting on.”

“Jeremy? You’re still waiting on that guy?”

“He’s my neighbor, Neil, I can’t just not be concerned.”

“Yeah, sure, your ‘neighbor’. Please tell me you do not have an obnoxious food item to give to him right now.”

Jean, for lack of a better response, clears his throat. Maybe he really was that predictable.

“Well. That’s all I need to know. We’ll put the lasagna in the fridge instead of throwing it out if ever you decide to get it tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” Jean replies sheepishly. He looks down at his pineapple-upside down cake. “Thanks, Neil. You know I’m only a few blocks away if you need me.”

“Awesome. Talk to you later.”

“Bye,” Jean sighs and puts his phone back in his pocket.

So maybe he was overreacting. Not having heard from Jeremy in a long time doesn’t necessarily mean he was in danger or anything. And if he was in a not-so-good place, who was Jean to Jeremy to even care about that?

The voice came from behind him. “Is that cake for me? Man, being out-of-town really makes me miss out on a lot.”

Jean momentarily froze. Holy shit.

His mind is a fury of questions. Out-of-town? So he wasn’t in danger or anything? Did he think to at least leave a note? What was he even doing out-of-town? Does he still have a girlfriend? Or boyfriend, for that matter? He did tell me he was bi, right? 

“H-hey, Jeremy,” Jean tries, slowly turning around. “Yeah, something I picked up on my way home from work. Figured you and your girlfriend would like to try it.”

Jeremy’s face falls a bit. “Shit, I really do have so much to tell you. Okay, first thing’s first. We broke up. Sort of a long time ago. Bit of a whirlwind, really. But it didn’t bother me for a lot of reasons. Maybe some are reasons we can discuss inside, if you wanna come in–”

“What.” came Jean’s reply, and it took him a second too long to realize how unintelligible that was. Stupid. “I mean– shit, I’m sorry that happened. Breakups suck.”

Jeremy’s laugh was warm and whole. “Don’t they all. But I remember telling you about all my problems with Diane, and you were the better listener. So it was probably for the best that she left me.”

And the plot thickens. “I can’t say I relate. I was the one who broke off my last relationship. We’re friends now though.”

Jean could swear he saw something flash through Jeremy’s face, but it was gone before his mind could completely register it.

“That’s good to hear,” Jeremy smiles, and it makes Jean’s heart beat just a little bit faster. He puts his key in, and adds, “If you want to tell me more about that, and about how much I’ve missed out on in the past few months, you’re free to come in and have a few slices of that cake with me. The commute back home made me hungry.”

Jean could practically feel Neil nudging him forward. So much for not overthinking any of his actions tonight.

“Sure,” he replies, and, after deciding that he’ll put off telling Jeremy how long he’s been knocking on his door, gingerly follows Jeremy inside his apartment.