#neganxoc slowburn

[trashcanband4]

Therapy Sessions Ch. 2

Chapter 1

Pairing: NeganxOc. Setting: The Sanctuary. Warnings: None other than Negan being OOC. Summary: Negan begins attempting to get to know the OC (Kelly.).

The next day she woke up to an empty bed and a note left on the dining table. As she picked it up she read aloud, “You are to stay here until I return. Make yourself at home but touch my stash of food and you will be sorry.” She scoffed and tossed the note back on the table.

“Right, so what am I supposed to do here all day?” As she looked around the room she spotted a few books, a small stereo and some CD’s on a shelf sitting to the right of the door, but none of them peaked her interest. Finally she popped a cd into the stereo and started working out.

She had just finished doing cool down stretches when Negan walked in. Lucille propped up on his shoulder. “Good morning.” Negan told her seeing that she wasn’t still in bed like he expected she’d be given the events of the previous night and how late they went to sleep. If he had the chance to sleep in he’d definitely take it, but he had a community to run.

“Mornin’.” She answered as she sat down on the foot of the bed, leaving the dining chairs at the table for Negan. He walked into the room and leaned the sparkling clean Lucille against the bookshelf by the door then sat down in the dining chair crossing his legs at the knees.

“So what’s in store for me today?” she asked bringing her socked feet up onto the bed to sit cross-legged.

“You and I have the rest of the day together and I intend on spending every second of it picking at your dead little soul.” He replied as he sat down in the armchair.

“Why?” she asked, emotionlessly, as usual.

“Because what’s dead doesn’t stay dead these days.” He replied with a cocky smile.

“You think you can bring me back to life?” she asked, her voice turning hard as she crossed her arms over her chest. She wanted to tell him that the walls she had built up, walls constructed from the fallen bodies of her loved ones, were impossible to tear down. However she kept her mouth shut, because telling him that would be letting him in and that wasn’t going to happen.

“I’m going to try.” He answered finding it ironic that while he was going to attempt to fix her, Daryl was being held in a tiny room in which Negan intended on breaking the man.

“Good luck with that.” She shrugged and dropped her arms from across her chest.

“Tell me about who you were before the world got flushed down the shitter.” He told her as he uncrossed his legs and leaned forward placing his elbows on his knees.

“And if I don’t want to?” she asked flatly.

“Then I’ll ask you to tell me what you did for a living.” He countered.

“And if I say that I don’t want to answer that question either?” she asked already getting tired of him and his pointless questions.

“Then I’ll tell you that I am being very generous keeping you in here with me. I could easily put you in the room next to Daryl’s where you can listen to him screaming and crying as fucking Easy Street play’s on loop and you will be fed the same shitty as fuck dog food sandwiches as him.” He told her as his face turned cold and his eyes glaring.

She sighed and crossed her arms over her chest again. “Fine, before the dead came back to eat the living, I was a wife and mother. I was chasing two kids around a three bedroom house, changing diapers and getting baby food thrown in my face. My husband worked two jobs to make ends meet. Things were hard, but I wouldn’t and couldn’t have asked for a better family.”

“Do you have children back at Alexandria?” he asked and she simply shook her head no. “What happened to them?”

“Near the beginning my youngest was taken from me by a virus that spread through our community like wildfire. We didn’t have the resources to handle it. The poor baby didn’t stand a chance. He’d always had a weak immune system. He was three.” She answered not looking at Negan, but at her hands in her lap as she picked at her cuticles. “My oldest, was taken from me by some ass holes that called themselves the wolves. I was helping stock the pantry and my husband was out on a supply run when they attacked. She was home alone. The wolves slit her throat.” She glanced up at Negan then back down to her hands. “She was nine.”

“So is that when you started shutting down?” he asked quietly.

“No, I felt every single bit of that shit.” She answered honestly.

“You mentioned a husband. He dead now?” Negan pressed.

“After we lost our son things between us became…strained. We only stayed together because of our daughter. So when we lost her-” she cut herself off not wanting to elaborate too much. “Let’s just say things got really, really ugly. He eventually left the community. I don’t know where he went and I don’t care to.” The whole time she answered his questions her voice stayed the same, flat, uncaring tone as usual.

“Damn… that all sucks.” he sighed and rubbed at his chin.

“The world sucks now.” She shrugged one shoulder.

“You’re not wrong about that.” He replied as he leaned back in the chair again and brought his booted foot up to rest on his knee.“Let’s lighten things up a bit.” He said and Kelly stopped picking at her cuticles. “Coffee or tea?”

“French Vanilla chai tea.” She answered quickly.

“I’m a black coffee guy myself. What TV shows were you into before?” he told her information about himself even though she didn’t ask.

“The Big Bang Theory, South Park and as embarrassing as it is to admit, The Bold and The Beautiful.” She answered.

“The Bold and The Beautiful was that shitty soap opera right?” he asked and she nodded. “I wasn’t much into tv myself. Did you have a celebrity crush?” He picked up a baseball that was on the floor next to the dining chair and started tossing it in the air and catching it.

“It was always a tie between Channing Tatum and Jensen Ackels.” She answered and for the first time Negan heard what he thought was a smile in her voice.

“Seriously, Jensen Ackles?” he asked as he stopped tossing the ball and cocked a brow at her.

“Hey, dude was hot as hell.” She argued with a small smile that was no where near reaching her eyes, but it was a start. “Just saying.”

“You know Lucille used to tell me that Jensen reminded her of me what I was younger.” He commented quirking Kelly’s interest for the first time.

“You’re bat talks to you?” she asked and he knew she meant it sarcastically but the tone wasn’t there.

“Lucille was my wife. My real wife… before all of this.” He explained and Kelly just made an “Ah” face. “Dog or Cat?” he asked going back to this or that questions.

“Dog, you?” she asked figuring that if he was going to get to know her and keep her in his room for the foreseeable future, she should start getting to know him too.

“Dog. Cats are too fuckin’ moody.” He replied. “Toast or eggs?”

“Eggs.” She answered then motioned for him to answer. He smirked a little, thinking it a good thing that she wanted him to answer his questions too.

“Toast.” Negan answered than asked, “Cardio or Weights?”

“Cardio. Stamina matters these days.” She answered.

“Weights.” He smirked again.

“Cake or pie?”

“Neither. I don’t do sweets.” She answered.

“What’s the matter with you? Sweets are what make life worth living.” He asked dramatically with a shake of his head.

“I’ve never had a sweet tooth. Even as I kid I didn’t eat a lot of candy.” She said with a shrug.

“So what did you do on your birthday, stick candles in a pot roast?” he asked and she cracked the smallest of smiles.

“I had a cake, I just didn’t eat it.” she answered as she dropped her feet to hang off of the side of the bed, not quite touching the floor. “What about you, cake or pie?”

“Classic apple pie with the sugared lattice on top.” He answered. “So you don’t eat sweets at all, none, ever?” he asked stuck on the sweets thing.

She sighed and tilted her head back, people always had this reaction when she told them that she never ate chewy or hard candies or cake or cookies. “I will eat mint chocolate chip ice cream every other blue moon, but that’s it.”

“Mint chocolate chip? Out of all the awesome ice cream flavors you chose the most disgusting one.”

Kelly just rolled her eyes at him. “Okay so out of all the awesome ice cream flavors what’s your favorite Mr. Judgmental?” she asked sarcastically.

“Butter pecan all the way baby.” He answered with a shit eating grin that showed off his dimples and perfect teeth.

“Now that’s disgusting.” She said with a point at him. “Bath or shower?” she flipped things around and asked him a question. He didn’t seem to notice, too caught up in the conversation.

“Shower.” He answered.

“Same, I never understood how someone could soak in a soup of their own filth.” She added and he smiled at her, thinking the same thing. “Hamburger or taco?”

“Hamburger.” He answered without missing a beat.

“Yeah you look like a hamburger guy.” She said giving him an appraising gaze.

“Let me guess, tacos?” he asked and she nodded. “Most important quality in a partner, Intelligence or sense of humor?”

“Why can’t I have both?” she asked and he shook his head at her. “Fine, sense of humor.”

“Intelligence.” He answered “Cups in the cupboard right side up or up side down?”

“Up side down. It’s more stable and causes fewer chips.” She answered. “Toilet paper on the dispenser facing up or down?”

“Down, what kind of psycho puts it on facing up?” he asked with a smile.

“My ex-husband. It drove me absolutely batty. That and leaving his socks right next to the laundry basket instead of in it.” She said getting more rapped up in the conversation than she had meant to.

“Well, as you can see I’m a pretty tidy guy so we should get along just fine.” His statement brought her back down to earth, remembering that she was once again going to be sharing a bed with this man. A man she hardly knew anything about. Noticing her sudden silence and her eyes that stared down at the floor he stood up from the chair and moved to sit next to her, a few inches of space between them. “What are you thinkin’ about, Dead Girl?” he asked as he bumped his shoulder against hers as if they had been friends for years.

“I…am… thinking about how I don’t think you’re going to be able to…fix, me. I know I’m fucked up. I watched you turn two men’s head into tomato soup and yet I still have no problem sharing a bed with you. A normal person, someone in their right mind, wouldn’t have willingly climbed into your truck, slept in your bed, or be sitting here with you like you couldn’t be the literal death of me.” She finally looked across her shoulder at his bright hazels looking at her as he listening closely. “If you can’t fix me will you at least make my death quick and painless?”

“I’m not going to kill you, darlin’. I refuse to except that you are un-repairable.” He replied.

She sighed and fell backwards onto the bed. “I hate this, you making me remember my past, trying to get into my head…”

“Well,” he started as he turned around and threw one of his legs over hers, straddling her, “there could be perks for both of us.”

She bit her lip as she placed her hands on his chest then slid them up to rest on each side of his neck, making him smirk cockily. “You can get into my head, or you can get into my pants. You can’t have both.” She patted him on the shoulder then slid down off of the bed, her nose brushing the crotch of his pants as she did. “Sorry Charlie.” She said as she stood up then turned to face him.

“Okay, then I’ll ask you some more questions.” He said as she moved around to sit in the middle of the bed.

“God, you’re borning.” She groaned then sat down in the dining chair to answer more pointless, boring questions.

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[trashcanband4]

Therapy Sessions Ch. 4

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Pairing: Negan x oc (Kelly). Setting: The sanctuary. Warnings: ooc Negan. Word Count: 6,525

When Negan came back to her the next morning, instead of finding her awake and done with breakfast like usual, he found her still in bed. The covers were pulled up over her head to shade her face from the light coming in through the windows. He wanted to jerk the covers down and jolt her awake, but decided against it and sat down on the side of the bed and rubbed her shoulder. Kelly just grunted and turned away from him. “Come on, darlin’, time to get up. I didn’t bring you breakfast for it to go to waste.”

Kelly sighed and turned onto her back as she pushed the blanket down and glared at him. “Why do I find your voice so grating?” she asked, her voice raspy with sleep.

“You can get out of bed willingly or I can make you.” he told her with a smirk. She just rolled her eyes and turned away from him. So, he wrapped his arms around her and threw her over his shoulder, stood up then sat her on her feet and tossed the blanket back on the bed.

“Seriously?” she asked as she pushed her brown waves out of her face. “What does a girl have to do to be allowed to sleep in around here?”

"Be deathly ill, which you are not." Negan answered then pointed to the plate of food. "Eat."

"Sir, yes, Sir." She sighed sarcastically and sat down at the table eating her breakfast.

"I have to go." Negan told her as he walked over to the door and grabbed Lucille. "Don't go back to sleep."

"No promises." She mumbled around a bite of scrambled egg.

"Exercise. It releases endorphins and will help you feel better." He advised and she shot a look up at him through her lashes. He tossed Lucille over his shoulder then left the room.

She was sitting at the table drumming her fingers on it in boredom when Negan walked in and propped Lucille up by the door then plopped down in the dining chair across from her. "Hard day?"

"Long day." He corrected. "Have you had dinner?" He asked and she nodded yes.

"Good. So have I and I'm ready for bed." He stood up and started taking off his jacket.

"I know you're tired," Kelly started and Negan looked at her out of the corners of his eyes, "but sleeping in pants has been really uncomfortable. Is there any way I can get a pair of sleep shorts or something?"

Negan walked over to his dresser, grabbed a pair of soft cotton navy blue boxers, made sure there was a button on the crotch then opened up another drawer and grabbed a long sleeved white shirt. "Will these work for now?" He asked as he handed them to her.

"I didn't mean you had to solve the problem tonight." She told him as she walked over and took them from him. "But yes, they will, thank you."

She expected him to turn his back, but instead he just raised a brow with a cheeky smile. Not breaking eye contact with him she pulled the white long sleeved shirt over her head and pulled it down, took her arms out of the sleeves of the shirt she was already wearing and pushed it up around her neck then put her arms through the long sleeves of the exterior shirt. Impressed, Negan watched her grab the underlying shirt that was bunched up around her neck, pull it over her head and toss it into the dirty clothes hamper in the corner.

Since Negan was bigger than her his shirt was like a dress on her so she was easily able to slip off her pants and replace them with the boxer shorts without showing anything. "Touche."

After he slid in beside her under his own covers minutes of silence passed, both of them knowing that the other wasn't asleep. “So tell me about you and Markus. You said things got really ugly between the two of you?” Negan struck up a conversation.

“Yeah, after we lost our daughter.” She answered.

“Darcy?” he asked.

She nodded then remembered that he couldn’t see her in the dark room. “Yeah, after we lost Darcy we really started drifting apart. We didn’t talk about stuff. He refused to talk about Darcy. We’d sleep in the same bed, but it was like we were miles and miles away from each other. I was grieving, we both were, but we couldn’t do it together, he wouldn’t let us do it together. So…I…turned to someone else for comfort.”

“Daryl.” Negan added quietly, making her brows draw together.

“How’d you know?” she asked, looking at him, only seeing the outline of him in the dark.

“Pieces weren’t hard to put together. Plus I noticed that Markus seems to hold a personal grudge against Daryl.” He answered. “Did you fuck him?”

“No.” Kelly answered and turned her eyes to the black ceiling. “Daryl was just there for me when I needed him. He and I were sitting on the porch swing. I was crying and Daryl hugged me and wiped my tears.”

“Aww.” Negan cooed.

“Yeah well, Markus saw us through the window of our house across the street and assumed we were kissing.” She said with a bit of anger in her words. “Even though I told him a thousand times that we weren’t making out, still suddenly I became a whore, a slut, a cheating cunt… So when he yelled these things at me so much that I finally snapped and threw a snow globe at his head I became a psycho bitch. From then on out it was his favorite thing to call me. After that the bitterness grew. He started making up things that didn’t even happen, like I wasn’t at the house with Darcy because I was off screwing Daryl. Or I didn’t give a shit about Darcy all I cared about was Daryl. Everything got blamed on me and Daryl when nothing ever even happened between us.”

“Well, all of that makes sense. Markus was pretty mad at the world when he ended up here. But he calmed down when-”

“I don’t care.” She interrupted him. “I don’t care who he is now, what he does for you or even if he’s found someone else."

“Okay, understood.” His gravelly voice whispered. “Goodnight, Dead Girl.”

“Goodnight, Negan.” She whispered back and soon, both of them slipped off to sleep.

The next morning as she slowly woke up she started to realize that something was different. Scent was the first sense to awaken and the masculine fragrance of sandalwood and cinnamon invaded her nose. Her half asleep brain thought that maybe Negan had lit a candle before he left. But then her sense of touch woke and she realized that a heavy arm was thrown over her waist and a warm body was pressed into her back. That's when her ears joined the party and the quiet soothing snores she recognized as Negan's hit her. As she opened her eyes she saw that her blanket was gone and she lay under Negan’s.

"How the hell did this happen?" She thought to herself. "Why is he still here?" She thought and when she tried to slide out from under his arm it just gripped her tighter. So she decided that the best thing to do was to just try to go back to sleep. That way if she did fall asleep it would be Negan’s move, not hers.

She didn’t go back to sleep and instead laid there hoping with everything in her that Negan would wake up soon and let go of her. His warm hand was pressed into her flat stomach and she tried to not even think about the long hardness that was pressed into her rear. She couldn’t decide if she loved or hated the intense sensations his touch, even over her clothes, was sending through her body.

Finally, Negan’s breathing started to change and she felt his body reacting to their position as he woke up. First his arm tightened around her then the hardness grew harder making her squeeze her eyes shut and bite her lip to keep from having an audible reaction. Soon his hand on her shirt covered stomach slid up between her breasts then down to rest on her arm. Warm breath skimmed her neck as he brushed his nose along the soft skin. She had been hoping he would move away when he realized how they had been sleeping, but he was doing the opposite.

No doubt he was trying to get a rise out of her, but instead of giving him what he wanted, what she so badly wanted to give in to, she simply took in a deep breath as one would do when bothered in their sleep and rolled over to lie on her stomach. She was surprised when he actually let her and even further so when he brushed her sleep mussed hair out of her face, slipped the backs of his fingers down her cheek then rested his fingers on her neck as he caressed her cheek with his thumb.

Unable to resist, a content sigh left her nose as her eyes opened, instantly finding Negan's hazels that seemed to be taking in every feature and detail of her face. When they met hers he gave her a sleepy version of his signature dimpled smirk and a small sleepy smile flashed so quickly on her lips he almost missed it. "Was that a smile, Dead Girl?" His voice was normally a little on the gravelly side, first thing in the morning it was even more so and it only added to the sensations his touch was sending through her. In response she simply looked down at his hand on her face then back up at his eyes, giving him a little squint of hers that almost dared him to do more.

Not one to turn down a challenge, but at the same time not wanting to push her too far, Negan simply slid his hand down her neck, over her shoulder, down her arm to grip her hip before slipping his hand under the shirt to grip the curve of her waist and pull her closer. Now, with just inches between them, she could smell the warm spicy scent of him again. It, combined with the feel of his hand caressing the bare skin of her back, had her light headed, as if she'd drunk just enough alcohol to get buzzed.

Her hand took on a mind of its own as she lifted it and placed it on his chest, slipping her fingers through his chest hair. Testing and tempting her, he brushed her nose with his, drawing her eyes from his chest back up to his. She didn't pull away. So slowly, giving her all the time in the world to pull back and say no, he moved his lips closer and closer to hers. Their lips had just barely brushed when a pounding came from the other side of the bedroom door. The unexpected sound made her jump and pull away from him.

Negan growled as he took his hand off of her, threw the covers to the side, stood up then padded over to the door. "What the fucking fuck are you banging on my door for?" Negan practically yelled at whoever was on the other side.

"Its 11 o'clock and no one has seen you. We were worried that your psycho hostage had murdered you in your sleep." She recognized Markus's voice right off the bat.

Hearing him call her a psycho she snapped. With more speed than she used in a long time she hopped out of bed and stomped over to the door. Seeing the fury in her eyes Negan stepped out of the way. Half a second later the back of her hand collided with the side of Marcus's right cheek so hard he fell, catching himself with the door frame to stay on his feet.

Negan looked between them with raised brows, eagerly waiting to find out what Markus was going to say to his ex-wife. "K-Kelly?" He asked, blinking at her in confusion as she glared up at him. "You're the psy-"

"Call me a psycho one more time and I swear to fucking christ I’ll break your fucking neck and never think twice about it." She warned.

Marcus looked to Negan. "Boss, you gonna let her talk to me like that?"

"Yeah." Negan answered with a smile.. "Because after all the shit she's told me you'll be fucking lucky if you only get the iron." Negan said coldly as he placed his hand on Kelly’s stomach and pushed her back as he moved to stand in front of her. Markus’s eyes got big as he looked at Kelly where she stood off to the side of Negan. “You want to know what I learned last night?” Negan asked and Markus turned his big blue eyes to Negan as he shook his head no. “That you failed to tell me that Alexandria existed. A secret that cost me a whole fucking outpost of people!" Even Kelly flinched at Negan’s raised voice. Negan look at the second man standing behind Markus that Kelly hadn't even realized was there, "Get him out of my fucking sight before I fucking gut him right here and now."

Markus made a fast retreat and Negan slammed the door. Kelly didn’t look at him, knowing she probably made things harder for Negan. Because of her Markus was going to get the iron, whatever that meant, and Negan was going to lose the trust in one of his men.

When Kelly didn’t say anything, Negan turned to her. His anger hardened face softened as he looked into her eyes. "Well, this has been an eventful morning." He sighed and sat down on the foot of the bed.

Kelly ignored his statement and moved to her side of the bed where she grabbed her covers off of the floor. As she folded it she took in his bare torso and the tattoos and freckles that peppered his skin. "What's the iron?"

"You'll see." He answered as he glanced over at her, catching the way she was observing him. He didn’t say anything, just smirked at her.

“So you’re letting me out of this room?” she asked not getting her hopes up, she might have misunderstood him.

“Those fuck me eyes you keep giving me and the pure rage I saw right before you slapped Markus was enough to earn you the privilege of seeing the show later." He wasn't going to mention that if she showed any emotion later it would earn her even more. She watched as he pulled on a white long sleeved shirt like the one she still wore then turned her back as he switched his pajama pants for a pair of dark pants and a belt. "I want you to get dressed, fix your hair and put on some of that makeup I brought you." He told her as he shrugged on his jacket.

She nodded at him as he walked out of the door. With him gone she got dressed then tidied up the room. She was putting his clothes she’d borrowed in a basket when a man walked in with a tray of apple and orange slices and a neatly folded stack of clothes. "Negan requests you wear these today." He told her and she watched silently as he sat the tray and a stack of clothes on the table then walked out. So she grabbed a piece of fruit and popped it in her mouth as she sat down and pulled the notebook and pen out of the bag that Negan had given her.

“Dear Diary,” she started, then stopped to pop another piece of fruit in her mouth. “I thought I liked it here at the sanctuary. For some reason Negan is treating me better than everyone else, and I like it, but last night I learned that Markus has been here the whole time he’s been gone from Alexandria. I liked it here because I had no ties to anyone other than Daryl who’s being held in a cell away from everyone. Now things are getting complicated. I’m starting to feel again. For the first time since Markus walked out I don’t feel numb. All I feel is hatred for him. The man I once loved more than anything else in the world, I now hate more than the walkers that plague the world.” She paused to eat a little more then picked the pen back up and skipped a line. “Then there’s Negan. I’ve thought he was attractive from the get go, but now I can’t stop looking at him and sometimes, all I want to do is jump his bones. I shouldn’t want him… He murdered Glenn and Abraham in cold blood. Strangely I get why he did it. We murdered a whole slew of his people and he only took two of ours. He probably would’ve only killed Abraham if Daryl hadn’t punched him. I don’t blame Daryl, he was just reacting to what was going on around him and he didn’t know that it would cause Negan to murder Glenn. I can see why Negan runs things the way he does. People can be stupid and fear is the only thing that can get through to some of them. Fear is the only thing that can control people.”

She skipped a line then continued writing. “Negan, for some reason, has decided to help me, I didn’t think it would work, I didn’t think I could care about anything ever again. But he is slowly breaking down my walls and I don’t know what to do. How do I let him help me and not fall for him? He has wives for god’s sake. He is a leader and a dangerous one at that. Getting even more involved with him could be dangerous for not only myself but the others back at Alexandria. I thought I didn’t care about them, but I do. I don’t want anyone to die, but Rick isn’t going to just go with how Negan runs things and he will get people killed.” She signed off on the entry and closed the book.

After finishing breakfast she braided her hair into two French braids that hung on each side of her shoulders then smudged on some eyeliner, coated her lashes in mascara then added a touch of the tinted lip balm. She had dressed in the new clothes and was putting away her things when Negan walked in. He gave her an appraising gaze taking in the black pencil skirt, black wedge heels, and red, sheer lace long sleeved shirt that she wore over a black camisole. The smirk he gave her caused a blush to color her cheeks as she placed her hand on her opposite arm self-consciously. He shut the door and closed the space between them and looked down at her with lust veiled eyes. She noticed them slip down to her soft lips, taking in the tiny glitter in the glossy balm. "That lip gloss have a flavor?" he asked, his voice quiet and gravelly.

She licked her lips making him bite his bottom one. "Vanilla."

"Good to know." He told her then backed up and opened the door. "You ready to get out of this room for a little while?"

She nodded and walked over to him where he motioned for her to walk ahead of him. So she did then let him lead her to a big room where they both stood on a platform above the people. After banging Lucille on the yellow bars people kneeled. “Do I kneel or stand?” she asked Negan quietly.

“You can stand, Sweetheart.” Negan told her, not whispering back. She turned her eyes to Markus who was tied to a chair in the middle of the room, next to a lit fire pit. “I just gave a speech about this shit last week.” Negan spoke loudly to the crowd. “I did not want to have to do this again.” He said as he started walking to the stairs and not knowing if she should follow she stayed behind. “But people keep breaking the rules. And again, why do we have rules?” Negan yelled.

“The rules keep us alive.” The crowd echoed back.

“That’s right. We survive, we provide security to others, we bring civilization back to this world. We are the saviors. But we can’t do that without rules. Rules are what make it all work.” Negan stopped on the stairs. “I know it’s not easy, but there is always work and there is always a cost. Here, if you try to skirt it! If you try to cut that corner!” Negan paused to laugh. “Then it is the iron for you.” Negan paused and let it all sink in before he said, “On your feet.” And everyone stood as Negan walked down the stairs.

As Kelly scanned the room she noticed a small group of women, dressed in fancy black clothing and heels with their hair done to match their upscale style. They were all giving her death glares. She assumed them to be Negan's wives.

"Kelly." Negan's voice drew her attention to him where he stood across from Markus. "Join me please." She walked down the stairs, hoping she wouldn't fall on her face considering it had been years since she'd worn heels. When she got close to her he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "What you're about to see is going to be gruesome. And Markus is most likely going to pass out before it's over. Is there anything you'd like to say to him before I get started?" She nodded so he stepped aside and motioned to her ex.

Kelly walked over to him, her heels against the concrete echoing around the silent room. Hate was clear in both of their eyes. "You…" she started pacing around the chair he was tied to. "I loved you with every...cell...in my being." She said, placing her fist over her heart at the memory. "But...that love is gone." She stopped walking and stood across from him, glaring down at him. "You starved it and stomped it so far into the dirt it couldn't see the light of day. Since that day that love has sat in that dark hole and festered into a raging hate," She walked over and leaned down, putting her hand on the back of the chair her nose almost touching his, "that burns so hot it is taking everything in me to not get that iron myself and burn that cold black heart from your chest." She stood up and turned her back on him. "Unfortunately, I have to assume that would get me into a world of trouble." She slipped her eyes up Negan's body to his eyes. "Correct?"

"Correct." Negan answered.

"So," She said with a sticky sweet, chipper voice as she whipped around and walked back over to Markus, "I'll have to settle for the satisfaction of watching whatever torture Negan has in store for you." She leaned down and whispered, "I hear it's going to be gruesome and honestly, I'm a little excited." She admitted with a smile and a wrinkle of her nose that Negan found incredibly adorable.

Markus looked at her with fear in his eyes as she walked back over to stand beside Negan. Finally Markus realized exactly what he had done to her, what he turned her into. Then it sank in that he was about to get the side of his face melted by a red hot iron.

"You done?" Negan asked with a smirk at her.

"That was a little long winded. I apologize." She told him quietly.

"Don't apologize, Darlin'." He told her as he stood up straighter. "This is a part of your therapy and honestly," he leaned over and whispered, "it got me a little excited." She bit her lips closed to keep from laughing. He passed her his baseball bat. "Keep Lucille company for me." He told her and she took it without hesitation. To keep the barbed wire from messing up her clothes she put the end of it on the floor between the toes of her shoes and rested her hands on the end of the handle.

She didn’t look at Markus, but instead watched as Negan put on a thick leather glove. “D.” he called and Dwight grabbed the red hot, old school iron out of the fire with a hook and handed it to Negan. “I’m sorry Markus, but you knew the rules. Secrets don’t make friends.”

Markus started breathing heavily through his teeth anticipating what was about to happen as Negan moved the iron closer and closer to Markus’s face until it made contact with his cheek and jaw. Markus screamed, never taking his eyes off of Kelly. Negan’s eyes were also on Kelly's, looking for a reaction. “Psychotic Bitch!” Markus yelled right before he passed out. All her face held was a smirk of triumph.

Negan removed the iron from his face, taking skin and meat with it. “Let Markus’s face be an everyday reminder to all of you and him that secrets are against the rules and will get you the iron in a heartbeat.” He called to the crowd then handed the iron back to Dwight. “He’s all yours Doc." Negan walked over to her, she picked up Lucille and he took it from her with a smirk. "Thank you, Darlin'." They walked in silence until they got in the room. “So, before I tied Markus to that chair we had a chat.” Negan started as she sat down on the end of the bed and he started taking his jacket off. “According to him you lied to me.”

“About what?” she asked, confused because she had never lied to Negan.

“He says that you did cheat on him with Daryl.” He said as he put his jacket next to her on the bed then pulled a dining chair up to sit across from her. “Now one of you is lying and I want to know who.”

Kelly sighed and rubbed at her temples. “I never slept with Daryl.” She answered, telling the truth. “Daryl was a listening ear and a good friend to me but it was never romantic. I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t believe me, but I told you before and I will tell you again. I don’t lie. Lies only further complicate what's already complicated.”

“I believe you.” Negan told her, staring at her with appraising, judging eyes. “I know what a cheater looks like, I don’t see that quality in you.”

Kelly gave him a small smile that lasted for a split second. “You wanted to know when I started shutting down?” she asked and Negan nodded. “I thought it happened slowly, that I didn’t just break and shut down all at once, but I did. I broke the night he told me that I was the most disgusting person that he’d ever met and he couldn’t stand looking at the woman who let his children die for a second longer. I cried for a full twenty-four hours, hating him and hating myself, missing my children.” She sniffled and quickly wiped at her eyes, taking away the tears before they could fall. “After that I never shed another tear.”

Negan slowly blinked at her sympathetically seeing more signs of her starting to feel again. Not being able to stop himself, he placed his hand on her cheek and swiped a tear away with his thumb. She gave him a small, sad smile as she placed her hand over his, reveling in his touch, before she pulled it away from her face. “He’s a douchebag.” Negan said, making her glance up at him. “He deserved every bit of what he got today.”

“Yeah.” She whispered then looked back down at his hand. She stroked her thumbs over the back of his hand, thinking about how she’d never been attracted to someone’s hands before. At the moment all she wanted to do was put it back on her cheek and let him have his way with her. Instead she said, “Okay change of subject, you ever had a hand massage?”

“No.” Negan answered with a bit of a smirk that suggested she was weird for asking. “Why?”

“Because you did me a favor today, you gave me a break from this room and let me get something out that's been bottled up inside me for a very long time. I studied to be a manicurist before I settled down." She slipped her thumbs down his pointer and pinky fingers, admiring how long and slim they were. "We were taught how to give hand massages. I would very much like to give you one. They feel really good and it's the only way I can think of to say thank you.” she said as she flexed his wrist with one hand then slid her other one up it aligning their fingers with their palm pressed to his.

“Really, that's the only way you can think of to thank me?” He asked with a big grin that was suggestive as shit. She just rolled her eyes then looked up at him through her lashes. “If you insist, sure, but it will have to wait until after I get done with the daily bullshit.” He stood up and grabbed his jacket off of the back of the chair. She found herself admiring his body as it flexed from him shrugging on the jacket.

After he left she sank down on the bed then leaned back, trying to figure out how she was going to not fall for him, considering he was the only company she had, when a sound came from the door and she turned to see a white piece of paper slide under the door with her name written on it. Curiously, she walked over and picked it up. “Meet us in the room at the end of the hall tomorrow at three.”

She stared at it, contemplating if she would really meet them or not, but after bouncing back and forth between yes or no, she decided that the only thing she could do was show the note to Negan. He was the only person she could trust. Anyone could have put that note under the door.

After the sun had set Negan finally came back, a tray of food in hand. Tonight was a simple meal of mashed potatoes and a small pork chop. She was quiet and didn’t look at him as he took off his jacket and sat down at the table across from her. When he started eating she picked at hers. “You wanna tell me what you're thinking about so hard over there?” Negan asked around a bite of potatoes.

Katie reached into her pocket and pulled out the price of paper. He frowned at her as she unfolded it then slid it across the table to him. "This was slid under the door while you were gone."

He picked it up and looked at it then put it back down on the table. "Why did you show this to me?"

"Because secrets don't make friends, obviously." She answered using his words.

"Did you want to keep it a secret?" He asked. "Did you want to meet with them?"

"No, of course not." She answered as if the questions offended her. "Your people saw me today. The women in the black dresses, they're your wives, right?" She asked and he nodded. "They don't seem to like me. For all I know this could be from them. They might be trying to rid you of the woman who takes up all of your nights."

"You didn't see who left it?" He asked.

She shook her head no. "I was too scared to open the door and look." She admitted.

"You don't have to be scared. No one is going to hurt you." He assured her. "Finish eating before it gets cold."

When they were both done, Kelly cleaned everything up and set the tray outside the door. When she turned around her eyes landed on Negan taking his shirt off. She averted her eyes to the floor knowing he was about to put on his pajama bottoms. When she looked back up, Negan held a shirt and a pair of light blue plaid boxers out to her. She did the same as she had done the night before and changed without showing him anything.

As he poured himself a glass of water she grabbed the tube of lotion out of her bag and sat down in the center of her side of the bed, crossing her bare legs. When Negan turned around and looked at her she patted the bed for him to join her. “Right, hand massage, I forgot.” He sighed as he walked over and set the glass of water on the makeshift night stand then sat down on the bed in front of her, mimicking her sitting position.

When he didn’t willingly give her his hand she sighed and picked it up. She started by massaging the underside of his forearm then worked her way down to his palm where she massaged a bit then stopped to add lotion. As she worked she made it a point to not look at Negan’s face. It was particularly hard to not look up when she ran her thumb from the bottom center of his palm to the base of his thumb and a breathy moan left his lips.

“You were right, that does feel good.” He sighed and she smiled to herself.

“I figured you could use it, considering you carry Lucille around all day.” She said with a glance at the bat that he had placed in the corner of the room.

“Are you calling my leading lady fat?” Negan asked with a playful tone in his voice.

Kelly faked a dramatic gasp. “I would never.” She placed a hand on her chest looking shocked that he would ask her that.

Negan actually laughed at her and she couldn’t help but look up at the bright genuine smile on his face. He stopped laughing when she started massaging again and hit the center of his palm making a deep groan rumble his throat again. She would be lying if she said she didn’t get a little turned on at the sound. Other than the occasional moan from Negan, the room was silent as she finished up his left hand. When she started on his right she looked up at him again to see him looking at her with lust hazed eyes. “Fuck, sweetheart that feels fucking amazing.” Negan laughed loudly. An electric wave shot from her chest through her every limb then settled in her core.

“Yeah, that’ll convince people we’re not screwing.” Kelly giggled a little, not looking up from her work.

“Well I am hard as a fucking rock right now.” Before she could stop herself her eyes moved from his hand to his crotch to see that he wasn't lying. The truth was there, long, hard, curved and begging to be let out of the confinement of his jeans. He didnt miss that she actually looked. “You should do my cock next. It's obviously begging to get a taste of your talented hands.”

Her mouth went dry at his words and as much as she wanted to look at his face she kept her eyes down and kept massaging. “I’m gonna have to refer you to one of your wives for that particular massage.”

“Damn.” He sighed and Kelly smiled. “Well, can’t blame a guy for trying.” She didn’t respond and instead worked in silence, making sure to hit all the spots that got reactions out of him on his left hand. When she was done, she glanced at his watch to see that it was almost ten o’clock. So she dropped his hand and finally looked up at him to see him smiling at her with closed lips. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” She told him with a small smile in return.

While he got up and washed his hands Kelly spread their blankets out, splitting the bed between them then tucked herself under her cover. He turned the light off then did the same. As she laid there thinking about how she felt about Negan, how he made her feel safe and how every touch from him sent sparks through her, making her feel alive for the first time in years, her hand slid to the center of the bed, bumping into Negan’s where it was already waiting for hers. His hand slid over hers, and flipped it so her palm was facing up then brushed his fingertips over her palm sending a shock wave through her. She thought he was just teasing her until his palm met hers and he laced their fingers together. "So about this morning..." He whispered, making her chest tighten. "Did you like being close to me?"

"I did." She answered, her voice nervous and shaky.

He sat up, pulled her blanket off and tossed it to the floor then tugged his over her. "Get over here." The gravel in his whispered words told her that resisting wasn't an option. Even if it was, she wouldn't have. So she turned her back to him and intended on scooting over, but he looped an arm around her waist and pulled her flush against him. She rested her head on his pillow that his arm that wasn't around her was under. She tried to even out her breathing as he slid his hand down her arm then grabbed her hand when he found it. "Tell anyone I like to cuddle and I'll personally kick your ass."

"Doesn't sound very threatening coming from a man who likes to cuddle." She joked without thinking.

"My point exactly." He whispered harshly.

"Yeah yeah, you got a reputation to protect. No worries, my lips are sealed." She whispered. "Besides, I'm pretty sure you couldn’t kick my ass even if you had cause to."

"Did you forget who you're talking to?" He asked, if it hadn't been for the hint of amusement in his voice she would've thought that she pushed too far.

"No, but I don’t think you know who you're talking to." She answered being cocky.

"Oh yeah?" He asked with a chuckle.

"Yeah." She answered with a smile in her voice.

"We'll see about that." He laughed and she wished that she could see his dimpled smile, but it was pitch black in the room. "Good night, Dead Girl."

"Good night, Savior." She whispered then snuggled her head into his pillow and quickly drifted off to sleep.

[trashcanband4]

Therapy Sessions Ch. 3

Ch. 1   Ch. 2

Pairing: NeganxOc (Kelly). Setting: The Sanctuary. Warnings: Ooc Negan.

Three weeks went by. She would sleep on the other side of Negan’s bed. Wake up to him gone, do a morning work out, eat whatever small amount of food was left on a plate on the table then wait for Negan to come back just to be prodded with what he called get to know you question’s. These questions were so pointless and superficial that she swore that Negan was simply trying to bore her to death. Frankly she was getting tired of it.

It was after the twentieth or so question of the day that she asked, “Why are you wasting time and resources on me?” finally snapping, raising her voice at him for the first time. “Why are you dead set on this?” she stood up and looked down at him.

He glared up at her. “I don’t know. I just know I need to.”

“God, you are so…” she started but stopped, not being able to think of a word that described him.

“Charming,” he said as she stood up, looking down at her, “handsome, generous, drop dead fucking sexy as hell.” He finished with a smile and a slight lean back.

“Annoying…ass-hole…arrogant… bastard.” She spat the words at him then moved to turn around, but he grabbed her by her arm and pulled her back around to face him. Her eyes traveled to his hand on her sleeved upper arm then back up to his glaring, dilated eyes.

“I have taken it easy on you, Dead Girl.” He warned her. “Talk to me like that again and you’ll join Daryl on easy street.”

“Good, do it, it has to be better than do you like this, do you like that, when did you lose your virginity, when did you have you first kiss, blah blah blah blah blah.” She said in her best deep Negan voice. “If your goal is to drive me fucking bat shit crazy then congratulations you’ve won! The fucking gold metal goes to surprise, surprise, you! Asshole of the year everybody!” she was yelling at him and finally lashing out, but it wasn’t enough for Negan, he needed more.

So with glaring eyes and a strained grin Negan he wrapped his long fingers around her neck and shoved her back until her butt hit the edge of the table causing glasses to rattle then pressed his lips to hers. He was actually surprised that she started kissing him back and placed her hands on his sides. As her tongue snaked its way into his mouth she slid one of her hands up to rest on his chest. His hand on her throat relaxed as his eyes slipped closed. Feeling him relax she swiftly, slid her hand across his chest and used her forearm shove him back with all her might.

He stumbled back, hand still in there air where it had been on her neck as his eyes slowly opened. As he saw her panting with flared nostrils and fire in her eyes, a smirk spread across his lips. “Well, I wasn’t expecting that.” His words had no effect on her. “But that, right there,” he motioned to her face, “I did. You fuckin’ look like you want to murder me right now, Darlin’.”

“I fucking hate you.” she growled still seething in anger.

“According to that kiss, you fucking love me.” He said with another cheeky grin and a jerk of his chin.

“Don’t flatter yourself.” She told his as she walked around him. “It was a distraction tactic and it worked.” She grabbed her plaid shirt off of the bed and shrugged it on.

With her back still to him she drew in a calming breath then held it a few seconds. “Holy shit, he just fucking got to me. He fucking did it. I felt pure…raw rage for the first time since Markus left me. Oh my God, is that when all this started, when he left me? Is that when I started shutting down? And whoa, that kiss. I had thought about Negan kissing me before, when he first brought me here and I thought that sex is what he wanted from me, but holy fucking shit was that good.” After silently panicking she let the breath out. “What’s next, you gonna try to make me cry?” she asked as she turned around and walked past him and sat down in her dining chair on the left side of the table. “Boo hoo hoo my children died and my husband left me. You murdered two good men and took me away from my people. You made Kelly angry waah.” She rubbed under her eyes as she pretended to cry then dropped them from her faced and let her face turn sarcastic. “I don’t cry anymore. In order to cry you need to hurt and I can’t get hurt anymore.”

“Getting hurt is part of living.” Negan responded. “Shutting down like you’re doing is hurting you.”

“I can’t feel anything.” As she spoke her eyes fell to the floor. “What I’m doing is self preservation.”

“No, what you’re doing is selfish.” He countered.

“How so?” she asked.

“By not letting people in, you’re robbing them of the pleasure of knowing you, of having a friend in you. Hell you are drop dead fucking gorgeous.” She rolled her eyes at him. “Seriously, I’m surprised some poor fucker hasn’t turned just from lookin’ at you. If that kiss is any indication I’m sure you’re a good fuck too.” He was trying to get under her skin again.

“None of that is true.” She said with a head shake. “As for being a good fuck…I don’t even remember what I’m like.” She shrugged then leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest.

He moved to straddle her outstretched legs. Her eyes took in his big hands that gripped the arm rests of the wooden chair she was sitting in before she let them travel up his plain white t-shirt covered chest, his neck, his lips then his eyes. “Do you want me to help you remember?”

“No.” Negan was surprised to see that all that rage he had seen before was now gone and she was back to her cool calm collected self. “I may be mentally broken…but I still have morals. I’m not your wife.”

“Would putting a ring on your finger get you to open up to me…let me in?” he asked, still leaning over her, staring her down in the chair.

“No.”

“Tell me why not.” He said leaning down a little more as if that would get to her, “Explain yourself.”

“If you didn’t have other wives…If I knew making a vow and putting a ring on my finger would make me something special to you, then maybe it would help. Maybe, but you’ve already admitted between the lines that you don’t see them as real wives. So why would I want that for myself?”

“I guess as you see it now you wouldn’t.” he stood back up and moved to sit in the chair across the table from her. “But you’ve already got one advantage over them. I don’t allow them to sleep in my bed. I don’t give anyone anything without expecting something in return. Most people here, they work for points and those points are spent on what it takes to keep them alive and comfortable. My wives, they earn their keep by keeping me happy. Then there are the people that are good for nothing but working the fences.” He explained a bit of the inner workings of the sanctuary to her. “What have you given me to earn what you have been given? As I see it you are in negative points right now which is not a good place to be.”

“I didn’t realize that’s how it worked.” She said quietly, hating the fact that she was now in debt to him. “I’ll earn my point’s… Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”

“All I want you to do for now is let me help you.” he answered.

“I don’t know how to do that.” She whispered more to herself than him. “I can handle being thrown into a room to be isolated and abused. I can even handle physical torture, but I have spent years building up these walls that you’re asking me to break I…” for the first time in a long time she felt her eyes water, but she didn’t let the tears fall. “What if I break?”

“That’s what I’m here for.” He told her as he leaned up and placed his arms on the table. “If you break, it’ll be because I made you. So I’ll pick up the pieces and put you back together.”

“And how do I know I can trust you?” she asked sitting up to mimic how he had his arms cross on the table. “How do I know that you don’t intend on breaking me and leaving me that way? How do I know that you don’t get some sick sadistic pleasure out of breaking people?”

“Blind faith?” He answered and she shook her head no. “Do you know why I chose you?” he asked and she shook her head no again. “I’ve seen a lot of people with the same void look in their eyes and it never bothered me before, I never cared before. But something about you, something about how you looked at me, made me care. I care too much about you to break you indefinitely. I can’t find out what has drawn me to you until you are alive and care about the people in your life.”

Kelly sighed and let her head fall onto the table, her forehead pressed into the cold wood as she covered her head with her arms. “You might as well stick me in the cell next to Daryl. There is no fixing me. I’m too damaged…”

“You don’t have a choice, sweetheart.” His whispered, soft words made her pick her head up and rest her chin on her arms that she folded on the table. “I’m gonna fix that fucked up head of yours rather you fuckn’ want me to or not.” He stood up and locked the door and chained it shut. “You’re goin’ to stay right here. You can fight me every inch of the way, but it happenin’ darlin’.”

The fire was back in her eyes for a split second. So it surprised him when she said, “Fine.” And just like that the hatred in her eyes was gone, replaced again with emptiness. “Do your worst.” She said as she stood up and walked over to stand chest to chest with him. Her boldness also surprised him. She kept doing that, surprising him when he thought he had her figured out. “Try to make me feel something other than rage, but it won’t work. I…feel…nothing good.”

If he was being honest, she had him riled up, harder than a rock the way she kept glaring at him, her chest pressed against his. He wanted to grab her and this time push her against the door and take her right then and there, but he knew that wasn’t the way to go about getting to her to truly open up to him. Instead he bit his lip and nodded then walked around her to sit back down at the table. Her eyes followed him curiously. “You know, Daryl’s been asking about you. Every time someone goes in to feed him he asks where you are and what I’m doing to you. He’s threatened to kill me several times if I lay a hand on you.”

She sat down on the bed and pulled her knees into her chest. Negan noticed her start chewing on the inside of her lip as she stared at the floor. She had never done that before, but Negan had never spoken about how Daryl was doing before. He had mentioned here and there about what he was doing to Daryl and how he intended on breaking Daryl, but never had he mentioned Daryl’s side of things. Kelly had cared for Daryl at one point a long time ago. He’d saved her on more than one occasion and in more than one way.

“No comment?” he asked making Kelly’s dark eyes snap up at him. “Do you care about him?” he watched her suck her lip into her mouth and shake her head as her lips slid between her teeth. “Could’ve fooled me.”

“I cared about him…past tense.” She answered as she dropped her legs to hang off the edge of the bed.

“Tell me what you think about Daryl.” He told her as he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest.

“No.” she shook her head, her brown frizzy waves slapping her in the sides of the face.

“Why not?” he asked, trying to not let his aggravation show.

“Because I’m not going to give you ammo to use against him.” She answered.

“What is said between us in this room stays here in this room.” he told her and she just stared at him. “As soon as I walk out of that door I will forget whatever you may tell me. We can’t talk about your past for forever. We need to talk about the here and now. The people you surrounded yourself with and what you think about them will tell me about you. So talk to me.”

“Fine.” She said as she leaned back to lay on the bed. “What I think about Daryl.” She sighed as she stared up at the ceiling. “He’s a damn good man. Loyal to a fault. Protective of his people. He’s saved me a lot, even when I didn’t want him to. We were close before I fell away from everyone.”

“What about Rick the prick?” he asked as he stood up and took off his leather jacket.

“God where do I start with Rick?” she scoffed. “He’s a leader, hardheaded, strong. He doesn’t take shit from anyone. He doesn’t always make the best choices, but his heart’s always in a good place when he does. He’s pissed me off more times than I can count, but he’s still a good guy.”

“What about that guy…Spencer?”

“Arrogant, entitled asshole not worth the air he breaths.” She answered quickly.

“Good to hear that, because I killed him yesterday.” Negan answered causing Kelly to sit up and look at him.

“Why?” she asked flatly.

“He was trying to weasel his way into my good graces…trying to play me and I saw right through it.” he answered.

“Stupid.” She said making Negan think she was calling him stupid for killing Spencer. He glared at her, making her realize how Negan took her word. “Spencer, not you.” she clarified. “So you’ve been inside Alexandria?” she asked and Negan nodded. “Have you met Judith, Rick’s daughter?”

“Yep, she’s a sweetheart. I made her and Carl dinner then rocked her to sleep while I waited for Rick the prick to come home. Speaking of home, you guys have it made there, electricity, running water…”

“I know I’m in no place to make requests, but can I ask that you don’t hurt Judith?” she asked quietly.

Negan stared at her for a second. “I’d never hurt a toddler.”

As he thought about Negan rocking Judith to sleep, she remembered that when she was brought to the doctor, one of Negan’s wives was leaving the office and the doctor threw away a negative pregnancy test as Kelly walked in. “Can I ask you something?” she asked and Negan motioned for her to talk. “Do you like kids?”

“I love kids, they’re the future. I worked with them before the turn.”

“Do you want kids?” she asked and Negan just stared at her for a second, trying to figure out what she was getting at.

He smiled a little, showing off his dimples before he finally answered. “I would love to have a kid one day.”

“Is that why you have all those wives? To try to have a kid before you bite the dust?” she pulled her knees to her chest again and wrapped her arms around them, thinking he was going to get mad or lash out at her.

“Hadn’t thought about it like that, but yeah, I guess that’s one of the perks.” He said with a smile on his face at the thought of having a kid. It didn’t matter which one of his wives was the mother. He just loved the idea of being a father.

After a while of sitting in silence, which was odd given that Negan was in the room, Kelly dropped her toned legs, clad in black yoga pants, from her chest and stood up. “Am I ever going to get to see what else is out there besides the doctor’s office and showers?” she asked as she walked over to the counter in the room and poured herself a glass of water. She took a drink as she turned and leaned her hips against the bar.

“The day you truly open up to me will be the day you see something other than these four walls.” He answered and she swallowed then nodded. “Oh, I almost fuckin’ forgot.” He said as he jumped up and walked over to her. “The doc. pointed something out to me today. Mentioned you might be needing these soon.” He took the glass out of her hand and replaced it with a stack of pink wrapped sanitary napkins. She wrapped her hand around the stack and dropped her hand as she looked up at him to see if he was embarrassed. Most men would be in this situation. The inner workings of the female body tended to make most men squeamish. Negan however looked amused. “Felt like a dumb ass walking around with those in my back pocket all day, just so you know.”

She smirked at him a little and simply said, “thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He gave her a small smile in return. “Lucille used to make me go get those things all the time. She always got really sick during that time of month.” He said as he turned his back on her and walked away a bit.

As she scanned his back, taking in his broad shoulders, covered with a white t-shirt, slim waist and his ass, clad in grey pants, she felt the urge to touch him. “Fuck. This isn’t happening.” She told herself as she started chewing on the inside of her lips again. “I’m not starting to feel something for him. I just…I find him attractive, that’s it, plain and simple. I don’t like him or want him.” She reassured herself.

“You hungry?” Negan asked getting Kelly’s attention. “I’m fuckin’ starvin’.”

“I could eat.” She answered with a numb nod, Negan noticed the distracted look on her face, but decided to drop it for now. “What time is it?”

Negan looked at his watch then answered, “Six twenty-five.”

She realized then that she was actually starving and had missed lunch. “Time flies.”

“I’m gonna go grab us some dinner.” He said as he put his jacket back on and walked out of the door without another word.

When Negan was gone, Kelly pulled the sanitary napkins out of her pocket and looked at them, then around the room. She’d been there for almost a month now and in this world if you stayed in one place longer than that you started to call it home. Here felt nothing like home and as she looked at the napkins she realized they were the only things she could call her own here along with the necklace on her neck.

For the first time since she had gotten there she thought about Alexandria, about home. The old folded up photo of her kids that probably still sat on her night stand. The pictures they had drawn her that was still taped to the walls. Her clothes that hung in her closet. She missed having her own room and her own things. She didn’t think she ever would miss Alexandria.

With a sigh she tucked the napkins back into her pocket and took her necklace off of her neck. It had been so long since she opened it that she feared that it wouldn’t, but after sticking her thumbnail between the pieces, it popped open. The faces of her husband and children looked back at her. Her old life flashed before her eyes and before it could get to her, she clipped it shut and took a deep breath. She pushed back the tears before they could make it out of her eyes. Negan had really done a number on her when he pissed her off.

She was letting the breath out when Negan opened the door with a tray in his hand and a reusable shopping bag in the other. She hopped up and took the tray from him to place it on the table. “So what’s for dinner?” she asked as she turned back toward him.

“BLT’s and fresh fruit.” He answered and her mouth instantly watered. “But first I went shopping for you.”

“What?” she asked, a little confused.

“Here.” He handed her the shopping bag with a recycling symbol on the side of it and she hesitantly took it from him.

“What is this gonna cost me?” she asked still not looking in the bag.

“It’s on the house.” He answered causing her to glare at him. “It’s not a trap, I promise. I just figured you could use a few things of your own.”

“Okay…” she drawled as she set the bag on the bed and started taking things out. A hair brush with hair ties wrapped around the handle, bobby pins were hooked on the elastics, a notebook and a few different colors of pens, a Mac cosmetics lip balm that changed color depending on the ph of lips, a Too Faced black eyeliner and mascara set, deodorant, toothbrush, toothpaste, a compact mirror, tweezers, nail clippers, a nail file and a small tube of bath and body works hand cream. “Are you sure there’s not a catch? This is a lot of stuff and not cheap stuff I might add. The makeup alone is like, eighty bucks.” She knew she was making a good case for him to take the stuff back, but she didn’t want to owe him anything.

“Really, those three things are worth that much?” he asked disbelievingly and she nodded at him. “Well they’re worthless to me so take them.”

“Okay, if you insist.” She said with a nod.

While she put the things back into the bag, Negan started taking the lids off of their food. When she turned around she saw that he had found her necklace that she’d left on the table. She froze, as she saw that he had opened it and was looking at the pictures. When he looked up at her their eyes locked. “I’m guessing these are you kids.” He said as he looked back down at the pictures. “And this is your husband.” He pointed to the picture of Kell’s husband. “What are their names?” his tone told her that she had no choice but to answer the question.

“Darcy and Xavier were my kids. Markus is my ex husbands name.” she answered wondering why he cared what their names were.

“That’s what I thought.” He sighed making her cock her head at him in confusion.

“What?” she asked as he snapped the locket shut and handed it to her.

“Markus isn’t at Hilltop or The Kingdom.” She stared at him, wondering what he was getting at. “Markus is here. He's one of my men.” Negan said quietly.

Kelly just stared at him, a million thoughts flying through her head. Would he tell Markus that she was here? Would he use him to try to break her? She couldn't see Markus again, not when he was the cause if her shutting down in the first place. "Are you going to say something?"

"I don’t know what to say." She whispered as he took in the look of pure fear on her face.

"Do you want to see him?"

"NO!" Kelly answered louder than she meant to and Negan cocked his head to the side. "If I see him again I will not hesitate to kill him or at the very least re-break his nose."

"That is something I'd like to see." Negan told her with a smile then remembered that Markus's nose was broken when he first came to the sanctuary. "Wait, you broke his nose before he left Alexandria?"

"I told you things got ugly between us." She answered with a shrug.

"Elaborate." He told her as he picked up his sandwich, but when she didn't answer he looked her over a little closer and noticed her hand on her stomach. Seeing that she was so upset she couldn't eat he changed his mind. "Never mind. Calm down, eat your supper and well cover that topic in the morning."

Eventually her nerves untangled enough that she could eat and as soon as she was done she crawled into bed before Negan then quickly went to sleep.