#needless to say I've had energy to get some chores done

[luv-again]

summer is approaching, wearing a banging outfit, hell yeah life is good

[lunapwrites]

So a few posts ago, I mentioned that I was going to be dipping a toe into studying runes, partially because I enjoy writing them into my work and partially because I am a basic bitch that loves me some shiny rocks and witchy shit. All my supplies came in over the weekend, and I've been poking around at the guidebook and trying to follow what it says is the best method of getting a sense of what a rune represents, aka: pick one and put it in your pocket for the day. So I have, quite literally, been pulling one almost at random out of a bag (and by "almost" I mean I feel around blindly choose the one that feels correct? I have no better way to describe it than that.)

Well, needless to say that I am on day 3 of doing this and so far we are 3/3 for leaving me shooketh.

Day 1: Fehu. Incidentally happened to be the day that my family had pushed their Thanksgiving dinner to. So, that one was a little on the nose. But surely that couldn't happen TWICE, right?

Day 2: Raidho. I became possessed by a spirit of productivity and suddenly knew exactly how I wanted to start doing a deep reorganize of my entire house, and in a simple and sustainable way. Also managed to get a bunch of post-holiday chores done which I had NOT had the energy to deal with all weekend. So... that's two. No way it could be three, though. Absolutely none.

Day 3: Hagalaz. I was alarmed when I drew this one, not gonna lie. But turns out that the partner just decided that today's the day to start talking about Plans For 2023, which will be An Adjustment to say the least. 3/3, runes deadass reading my life for filth.

Can't wait to keep digging into these. :D

[enderkate]

I feel weird just posting a selfie but I feel I need to because I feel good about myself for once and I've been struggling lately. Ever since having a drunk conversation with my mother about many things, I started to severely doubt myself and my life. I didn't feel like I could talk to my friends or even my family, I broke down in the shower and I certainly wasn't my happy self. I felt alone.

Then everything changed a week ago. I had the worst day at work I had ever had. I was told about stuff that had been said regarding me and then heard a few other things, needless to say I was fuming. And I was like that for the whole day. I had to share a cigarette with another staff member to get back to normal (I don't normally smoke, only in times of extreme stress). I thought I had gotten over it by the time I got home but when my housemates asked me how my day was I just screamed and gently kicked things whilst sat on the floor. My friend held up a pillow for me to punch and we laughed about how if I punched harder I may accidently hit him in the balls. Later on when his wife had gone to bed we went out to the back garden and I had a couple of cigarettes which helped a little but not much. We then spent time watching Netflix and YouTube and drinking a lot (2 bottles of wine to myself) and it was the best evening I've had, we had a heart to heart conversation and it really helped, it really was a relief that I could openly talk with a close friend.

Luckily the next day was my day off, not that i get a hangover but i needed a day to chill. My friend was very kind, he brought me a breakfast bap. We just chilled until I went and stayed at a friends where she helped me relax with some weed and we had a great laugh and a wonderful night just chilling.

Ever since those 2 days, life has gotten better, I don't feel as weighed down as I was, I've managed to do chores that I haven't done for weeks because I didn't have the energy or the omph to do them. I've been happier, I've laughed more.

That's it, I just needed to get that off my chest. I'm still working on me, I still get anxious and I still criticise myself but when a good day comes along I'm going to do my best.