#need to draw a more cartoony version of neil also

[mild-lunacy]

Despairing about Despair

If you look up fanart for Neil Gaiman's Sandman comic, you're going to see something weird, but consistent. In fact, it's weird *because* it's so consistent. Even when the art is done by clearly pro-level artists, the depiction of Despair-- a fat woman-- is almost always amazingly bad. Like, we're talking she barely looks female, and often enough barely looks like a human (even though, of course, technically she's not). Or, alternatively, she barely looks comfortably plump. We're talking either man-shoulders and a rugged jaw (to go with the man-belly, I guess?), or looking like an average middle-aged soccer mom. That's if she looks human, particularly in extra cartoony styles where every other character is super idealized. Despair is just like a weird vaguely person-shaped blob in those styles. I almost feel bad for them, 'cause I suppose it's hard to imagine ugly fat women could be cute. And yet, you know, fat babies are cute, so.... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway, why am I posting about this, you might ask. Well, I remember being at a con one time, where another Harry Potter fan suggested I draw her some overweight women. I realized my plentiful female doodles were all too similar and their bodies were definitely idealized, but I wasn't super motivated to draw people who looked more like me. I say that, even though it actually meant a lot to me to read about a character like Despair when I was a teenager. I may have liked literally every other member of the Endless more and found them cooler and more interesting, but I identified with Despair. I liked seeing her unapologetically fat body, defying the audience-- and the world-- to look at it. She wasn't pretty but she felt real to me. She was too depressed to be too self-conscious about being naked in public, and dammit, I liked that. I loved how real Despair was.

So the main thing that offends and bothers me is that to all these people-- let's say 8 out of ten artists-- Despair isn't real at all. We're mainly talking about pro artists who can clearly render human bodies well, but I've also noticed that beginner fanartists whose poses and perspective all need work also have the most trouble portraying a grossly fat, naked woman believably. No matter what, Despair always looks the worst. It's really like they're not trying, and sometimes she's in fact left out of Endless fanart entirely.

It's not like it's a shocker that people have issues with fat or that it's often ignored of idealized away even in photos these days. I know how it is. It's just surprising to see this obvious of a skill gap. As an artist, I like to think I want to portray everything I attempt with skill. I certainly wouldn't want to just leave an obvious blooper on a finished, otherwise well-rendered work. Not purposely, at least. Not after attaining a level of some excellence in overall performance. And yet, these bloopers are common. People just really don't want to try to 'draw what you see' if what you see is a naked, grossly fat woman.

Obviously, I mean, truly pro comics artists, such as the one(s) who actually worked on The Sandman, can and do draw Despair realistically. So this is specific to stuff they may *choose* or want to do, as opposed to stuff they're paid for. And the fact is, they simply don't want to spend any real effort on fat women. I fact, many artists (and possibly people in general) seem to have some sort of mental blind spot when it comes to fat women. To draw Despair so masculine in more than one case, it's hard not to conclude these artists are men who implicitly categorize fat women as 'not really female'. This is not even subtle sometimes. In at least one case, everyone else looked great but Despair looked a lot like a smaller version of Thing, from the Fantastic Four. You know, the mutant stone guy with the huge shoulders. Then there's the drawing where Despair's skin is literally gray, and instead of curves and roundness, it looks simply like it's a creature with no obvious anatomy whatsoever, aside from being vaguely humanoid (again, this weird look only applied to Despair, not the others). I'm trying not to project, but this seems really obvious to me from what I've seen. A part of me thinks it's better when Despair looks well rendered, just not really fat. But that's just a different kind of issue.

I'm sort of insulted, but mostly just bewildered, even though I'm not surprised. It's not like I myself generally choose to draw fat women. It's just I'd make an effort if that was what I was going for. I certainly wouldn't pretend Despair didn't really matter if everyone else looked great. Although I will say all this has certainly made me think I should probably practice drawing fat ladies after all. I guess my HP fandom friend was onto something.