#need to be alone and cant think of anythjng else but it wont be dark for hours so i cant go outside and nobody in the house will shut up | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

immortalsins · 9 months ago

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not to be tumblr ranting again but idk how much longer i can handle uni and it's been 4 days since i got back. there are currently 2 friends of housemates here and i'm too autistic to handle making conversation. just want to go downstairs to make some tea but last time i did that had to say omg hii how are you to someone and my unwillingness to talk makes me look like such a freak sorry i am just finding it physically hard. can't even make tea

#maybe i'm not cut out for this #'this' meaning everything #need to be alone and cant think of anythjng else but it wont be dark for hours so i cant go outside and nobody in the house will shut up #if i was my male autistic housemate i could go downstairs with headphones and ignore everyone but be understood #or at least some attempt at understanding #but if i do that as a woman who hides my traits even around them #i will be talked about and thought of as rude #they know my diagnosis but choose to ignore it honestly #how did i think i could handle university like anyone else #when i cant go downstairs to make tea because sometimes i find it physically hard to speak #<- girl with mild caffeine addiction #rip

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