#ned wanted to punch jaime in the face so badly

[cinema-tv-etc]

‘Game Of Thrones’ Built Up Its Female Characters Just To Watch Them Fall

The women we championed for nearly a decade suffered confusing character shifts in the final season.

By Leigh Blickley   05/14/2019

Bells continuously chime as Daenerys Targaryen (Emilia Clarke), sitting atop her fire-breathing dragon Drogon, stares out at King’s Landing. She’s enraged, having recently watched Queen Cersei Lannister (Lena Headey) order the execution of her best friend, Missandei (Nathalie Emmanuel), shortly after her dragon-child Rhaegal was speared to death.

Before facing those losses, Dany fought the army of the dead, held her adviser Jorah Mormont (Iain Glen) as he took his last breath and discovered that her new love, Jon Snow (Kit Harington), was actually her nephew, the true heir to the Iron Throne. At this particular moment, she’s unhinged. And bells are ringing.  And ringing, and ringing.

With the Red Keep in sight, Dany snarls as she decides to forgo everything she’s become in favor of an old Targaryen tactic: “Burn them all.” She goes full villain in the penultimate episode of “Game of Thrones,” scorching enemies and innocents alike as she surrenders to madness.

Yet many viewers saw little forewarning that a character twist of this magnitude was coming, and her erratic change of heart was a punch to the gut. Instead of the satisfying conclusion of a long descent to depravity, Dany suddenly shifts modes, from a woman who graciously earned loyalty over seven seasons to a power-hungry monster who murders thousands of men, women and children.

Sure, she wasn’t always perfect, but the Daenerys Targaryen we knew was the fearless Mother of Dragons. She was Khaleesi, who united the Dothraki after the death of Khal Drogo (Jason Momoa), later rallying them to fight for her claim to the Seven Kingdoms. She was Mhysa, who freed the Unsullied and was lifted up by the slaves of Mereen. Dany rose from the ashes to break chains and then risked everything to protect Jon and the North from the Night King’s army.

To see a woman so fully represented over 70 hours of television, especially in a fantasy epic, was groundbreaking. But, with a final season of just six episodes, showrunners David Benioff and Dan Weiss decided that a couple of scenes were enough to turn the unburnt beauty bad ― and essentially muddied her yearslong journey.

The “Game of Thrones” audience had devoted so much time to Dany, and other characters, only to now watch Benioff and Weiss hurry along the ending (and move on to their “Star Wars” trilogy). Why couldn’t they, after spending nearly two years crafting the final season, show us Dany’s slow decline into madness? Why do we have to watch “Inside the Episode” to figure it all out?

Surely George R.R. Martin, who wrote the unfinished “Song of Ice and Fire” book series on which the HBO show is based, told Benioff and Weiss where he wanted the storyline to go: “Mad Queen” Dany destroys King’s Landing, demonstrating that humanity, not necessarily the dead, is the true enemy. The thing is, the showrunners decided to shorten the final two seasons of “Game of Thrones,” to seven and six episodes respectively, and rush through key plot points to reach Martin’s goal. And it’s turned into a bit of a nonsensical mess.

Sure, make Dany evil ― women can be monsters, too. We’ve certainly seen glimpses of her “madness” in the past, whether it be callously watching as her brother Viserys (Harry Lloyd) is killed by Khal Drogo in Season 1 or perhaps prematurely burning alive the father and brother of Samwell Tarly (John Bradley) in Season 7.

But whereas, lately, the show tells us what to think, the books present Dany’s inner monologue. Readers can see how she fights to shake her violent family history as not only her actions but her wide-ranging relationships with siblings, friends and lovers are described.

From “A Storm of Swords”:

“I was alone for a long time, Jorah. All alone but for my brother. I was such a small scared thing. Viserys should have protected me, but instead he hurt me and scared me worse. He shouldn’t have done that. He wasn’t just my brother, he was my king. Why do the gods make kings and queens, if not to protect the ones who can’t protect themselves?”

“Some kings make themselves. Robert did.”

“He was no true king,” Dany said scornfully. “He did no justice. Justice ... that’s what kings are for.”

Ser Jorah had no answer. He only smiled, and touched her hair, so lightly. It was enough.

Although “Game of Thrones” used to give us more context around characters and their decision-making, once it passed the books’ timeline in Season 6, the series faltered a bit in terms of depth. It didn’t show us the intricacies of Dany’s small council, her romance with Jon or her friendship with Missandei, who is only a young girl in Martin’s novels. Perhaps if we saw the show’s version of Dany and Missandei have a meaningful conversation about fear or loneliness ― versus men and sex ― we would have understood Dany’s underlying fragility and why Missandei’s murder triggered a rage within her. Instead, we saw the one woman of color become a plot device to turn Dany, as well as her own lover Grey Worm (Jacob Anderson), to the dark side.

That’s all to say that the recent rushed storylines have prevented us from getting that nuance we previously used to connect the dots.

The same flaw also hurts other women on “Game of Thrones,” including Cersei, Brienne of Tarth (Gwendoline Christie) and Arya Stark (Maisie Williams).

Brienne is one of the strongest warriors in Westeros. She killed Stannis Baratheon (Stephen Dillane) and took down the 6-foot-6 Hound (Rory McCann) ― with a few solid punches, might we add. Yet she turned into a puddle of mush when Jaime Lannister (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) left her for Cersei ― something she would’ve never done three seasons ago. In one sense, it’s wonderful to see a vulnerable woman on screen. But Brienne ― who is rarely shown out of armor ― sobbing in a nightgown came out of left field. (Love makes us do crazy things?)

And Cersei was so shocked and afraid to meet her rubbly end during Episode 5, Season 8, that it’s easy to forget she once told Ned Stark (Sean Bean): “In the game of thrones, you win or you die.” The ruthless Cersei we’ve studied over eight seasons, the most cunning of the cunning, would’ve known to flee the city when she saw dragon fire (especially if she wanted to protect her unborn child). Or she would’ve at least had another plan in case those scorpion artillery weapons didn’t work out.

We’re not watching the most adventurous show in the world for uninventive writing. Yet here we are.

During the most recent episode, The Hound easily convinces Arya to go home and forget about killing Cersei. She hugs him goodbye, gives up on Cersei and tries to make it safely out of King’s Landing.

Eh, what? We’ve watched Arya train for years to become an assassin. She just destroyed the Night King with a stab of a dagger! She doesn’t fear death! She just traveled weeks to get to the capital for one sole purpose: to murder the woman who betrayed her family.

Too-fast, terribly thought-out writing has reduced “Game of Thrones” to a soap opera. We miss the scenes where Dany argues the advice of Ser Barristan Selmy (Ian McElhinney). Or when Arya secretly soaks up intel from Tywin Lannister (Charles Dance). Or how about when Sansa Stark feeds her abusive husband Ramsay (Iwan Rheon) to his own hounds?

Now we see a half-baked “Mad Queen” and a woman like Sansa crediting sexual violence, not her own strength, for making her a power player in Westeros.

THE HOUND: None of it would’ve happened if you left King’s Landing with me. No Littlefinger. No Ramsay. None of it.

SANSA: Without Littlefinger and Ramsay, and the rest, I would’ve stayed a little bird all my life.

It’s that bad.

Riddle me this: Why does a show featuring four leading ladies have barely any female writers? (Bonus: Michelle MacLaren was the only female director brought on to helm episodes, the last of which aired in 2014.) Although Gursimran Sandhu is credited as a staff writer for Season 8 on IMDb, only two other women, Jane Espenson and Vanessa Taylor, wrote for the series, with both of their runs ending by 2013. That, my little birds, is the root of a very big, now unfixable problem.

Espenson helped craft scenes like the aforementioned death of Viserys, and Taylor had a say in that memorable lunch between Sansa, Margaery (Natalie Dormer) and Olenna (Diana Rigg) as well as Arya and The Hound’s Brotherhood Without Banners meetup. Those back-and-forths soar in comparison to Season 8’s Sansa-Dany stares or Cersei’s unexplained cowardice.

Clearly, Sandhu couldn’t have singlehandedly saved the final season, but other women’s voices in the writers’ room might have provided more perspective into these characters’ closing motivations.

Still, Martin created these women, and Benioff and Weiss have shown they can write strong dialogue for them on this show. It just feels like the latter two’s desire to be in a galaxy far, far away perhaps trumped their desire to give these ladies what they deserve: earned arcs.

RELATED COVERAGE

‘Game Of Thrones’ Fans Had A Lot Of Feelings About Daenerys’ Fiery Choice

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https://www.huffpost.com/entry/game-of-thrones-women-daenerys-cersei-arya-sansa_n_5cd98811e4b0796a95dfd968

[nobodysuspectsthebutterfly]

Do Westerosi have swimming as a pastime? Are there garments used as bathing suits, or do they swim naked? With so many bodies of water around I doubt they wouldn't.

Yes, people swim as a pastime in Westeros. Sometimes they wear clothes, but more often they don’t.

“And the girls, Ned!” he exclaimed, his eyes sparkling. “I swear, women lose all modesty in the heat. They swim naked in the river, right beneath the castle.” –Robert, AGOT, Eddard I

She found herself standing at the mouth of a sewer where it emptied into the river. She stank so badly that she stripped right there, dropping her soiled clothing on the riverbank as she dove into the deep black waters. She swam until she felt clean, and crawled out shivering. Some riders went past along the river road as Arya was washing her clothes, but if they saw the scrawny naked girl scrubbing her rags in the moonlight, they took no notice. –AGOT, Arya III

Lommy and Tarber stripped naked and went wading, and Lommy scooped up handfuls of slimy mud and threw them at Hot Pie, shouting, “Mud Pie! Mud Pie!” –ACOK, Arya IV

Hodor knew Bran’s favorite place, so he took him to the edge of the pool beneath the great spread of the heart tree, where Lord Eddard used to kneel to pray. Ripples were running across the surface of the water when they arrived, making the reflection of the weirwood shimmer and dance. There was no wind, though. For an instant Bran was baffled.And then Osha exploded up out of the pool with a great splash, so sudden that even Summer leapt back, snarling. Hodor jumped away, wailing “Hodor, Hodor” in dismay until Bran patted his shoulder to soothe his fears. “How can you swim in there?” he asked Osha. “Isn’t it cold?”“As a babe I suckled on icicles, boy. I like the cold.” Osha swam to the rocks and rose dripping. She was naked, her skin bumpy with gooseprickles. Summer crept close and sniffed at her. “I wanted to touch the bottom.”“I never knew there was a bottom.”“Might be there isn’t.” She grinned. “What are you staring at, boy? Never seen a woman before?”“I have so.” Bran had bathed with his sisters hundreds of times and he’d seen serving women in the hot pools too.

–ACOK, Bran II

To the east, Gods Eye was a sheet of sun-hammered blue that filled half the world. Some days, as they made their slow way up the muddy shore (Gendry wanted no part of any roads, and even Hot Pie and Lommy saw the sense in that), Arya felt as though the lake were calling her. She wanted to leap into those placid blue waters, to feel clean again, to swim and splash and bask in the sun. But she dare not take off her clothes where the others could see, not even to wash them. –ACOK, Arya V

“The gods will take me when they see fit,” Septon Chayle said quietly, “though I scarcely think it likely that I’ll drown, Bran. I grew up on the banks of the White Knife, you know. I’m quite the strong swimmer.” –ACOK, Bran V

I’m being swept out into the bay. It wouldn’t be as bad there; he ought to be able to make shore, he was a strong swimmer. –ACOK, Davos III

When Jaime looked up, Brienne was lumbering along the clifftop well ahead of them, having cut across a finger of land while they were following the bend in the river. She threw herself off the rock, and looked almost graceful as she folded into a dive. It would have been ungracious to hope that she would smash her head on a stone. Ser Cleos turned the skiff toward her. Thankfully, Jaime still had his oar. One good swing when she comes paddling up and I’ll be free of her.Instead he found himself stretching the oar out over the water. Brienne grabbed hold, and Jaime pulled her in. As he helped her into the skiff, water ran from her hair and dripped from her sodden clothing to pool on the deck.

–ASOS, Jaime I

Ser Desmond Grell had served House Tully all his life. He had been a squire when Catelyn was born, a knight when she learned to walk and ride and swim, master-at-arms by the day that she was wed. –ASOS, Catelyn I

The holdfast did have a grim haunted look, standing there black against the storm on its rocky island with the rain lashing at the lake all around it. “We could go out and take a look,” he suggested. “I doubt we could get much wetter than we are.”“Swimming? In the storm?” She laughed at the notion. “Is this a trick t’ get the clothes off me, Jon Snow?”“Do I need a trick for that now?” he teased. “Or is that you can’t swim a stroke?” Jon was a strong swimmer himself, having learned the art as a boy in Winterfell’s great moat.Ygritte punched his arm. “You know nothing, Jon Snow. I’m half a fish, I’ll have you know.“

–ASOS, Jon V

Jon used to say that she swam like a fish, but even a fish might have trouble in this river. –ASOS, Arya IX

As they rode past the stakes and pits that surrounded the eunuch encampment, Dany could hear Grey Worm and his sergeants running one company through a series of drills with shield, shortsword, and heavy spear. Another company was bathing in the sea, clad only in white linen breechclouts. –ASOS, Daenerys V

A few of the older children lay facedown upon the smooth pink marble, browning in the sun. Others paddled in the sea beyond. Three were building a sand castle with a great spike that resembled the Spear Tower of the Old Palace. A score or more had gathered in the big pool, to watch the battles as smaller children rode through the waist-deep shallows on the shoulders of the larger and tried to shove each other into the water. Every time a pair went down, the splash was followed by a roar of laughter. They watched a nut-brown girl yank a towheaded boy off his brother’s shoulders to tumble him headfirst into the pool. –AFFC, The Captain of Guards

Looking at the water only made him think of drowning. When he was small his lord father had tried to teach him how to swim by throwing him into the pond beneath Horn Hill. The water had gotten in his nose and in his mouth and in his lungs, and he coughed and wheezed for hours after Ser Hyle pulled him out. After that he never dared go in any deeper than his waist. –AFFC, Samwell II

“How did he get out?”“Fish swim. Even black ones.” Edmure smiled. […] “We raised the portcullis on the Water Gate. Not all the way, just three feet or so. Enough to leave a gap under the water, though the gate still appeared to be closed. My uncle is a strong swimmer. After dark, he pulled himself beneath the spikes.”And he slipped under our boom the same way, no doubt. A moonless night, bored guards, a black fish in a black river floating quietly downstream.

–AFFC, Jaime VII

Laughing, the septa walked to the prow of the boat. It was her custom to bathe in the river every morning. “Plainly, this boat was not named for you,” Tyrion called as she disrobed.“The Mother and the Father made us in their image, Hugor. We should glory in our bodies, for they are the work of gods.”

–ADWD, Tyrion IV

[Rolly] came up sputtering and cursing, bellowing for someone to fish him out before a ‘snapper ate his privates. Tyrion tossed a line to him. “Ducks should swim better than that,” he said as he and Yandry were hauling the knight back aboard the Shy Maid.Ser Rolly grabbed Tyrion by the collar. “Let us see how dwarfs swim,” he said, chucking him headlong into the Rhoyne.The dwarf laughed last; he could paddle passably well, and did… until his legs began to cramp. Young Griff extended him a pole.

–ADWD, Tyrion IV

Sweetfoot had an easier gait than old Chestnut, but Dunk was still sore and tired when he spied the inn ahead, a tall daub-and-timber building beside a stream. […] As he dismounted, a naked boy emerged dripping from the stream and began to dry himself on a roughspun brown cloak. "Are you the stableboy?” Dunk asked him. The lad looked to be no more than eight or nine, a pasty-faced skinny thing, his bare feet caked in mud up to the ankle. His hair was the queerest thing about him. He had none. –The Hedge Knight

“Another word about your bloody boot, and I’ll clout you in the ear so hard you’ll fly across the lake.”“I’d sooner swim, ser.” Egg swam well, and Dunk did not.

–The Mystery Knight

[challia]

So, out of the New Years boredom, I did this.

This is basically my list of favourite/non favourite characters of GoT, that are still alive (in the show),... and reasons for me to think they are ok or not ok.

This is nothing important, just a strain of thoughts.

CHARACTERS I LOVE (basically ones that don’t piss me off too much).

1. Sansa Stark

Yes, yes. I know. She did what she did but I choose to believe she hated it and cried and didn’t want this etc etc.

I think somewhere out there, Petyr is proud of her for doing so.

She is the strongest Stark and the best player left.

Long live the Queen in the North. 

2. Cersei Lannister

I have always liked her. Simply because in my head she didn’t fit into anything easy or schematic, she was just always herself. We can hate her, despise her and judge her badly for all the horrible things she did. But we can all agree that she is a strong, fierce, damn smart and damn cruel ruthless woman, who kills for her family and for her love, who would burn all of the Seven Kingdoms to the ground to reach her purpose.

I respect her, even if she makes me sick sometimes.

3. Jorah Mormont

The most loyal man in GoT. He doesn’t stop loving Daenerys even when she sleeps with Daario, makes unpopular decisions and finally casts him out.

Too good of a person for her, in my opinion. I hope in the end, he will find his way around all this and his journey will make sense.

4. Jaime Lannister

This guy has grown on me immensely. I applaud him and cross my fingers for his plans to succeed.

5. Bronn

Love him for his sarcasm, irony and sense of humour. But also for his good heart he hides deep inside but we all know it’s there..

6. Brienne of Tarth

Well. Mostly for Jaime.

7. Melisandre

Had mixed feelings about her at first but I got to like her through the years. She is definately an intriguing character and I look forward to see what will happen to her now.

8. Euron Greyjoy

A great new character introduction! Charismatic, sarcastic, funny and cruel to the bone. With an awsome actor bringing him to life.

I need more of him in season 8, definately.

9. Davos Seaworth

Well, Davos is kinda like the ocean. Steady on peaceful tides, reliable on uneasy waters and always in place when things get rough. Whenever I see him on screen, I know the voice of reason will prevail.

10. Yara Greyjoy

I am a huge fan on the !book Yara (Asha) and at first was put off that they changed her name and a few personal traits here. But Gemma Whelan is a true gem of the series. She gave that character life and great personality. I am really looking forward to see what story is there next for her in s8.

CHARACTERS I HATE (basically ones that piss me off and I do not like them at all).

1. Daenerys Targaryen

Don’t even ask. I hate her with passion.

That all the same look on her face. That dumb, silly long and boring monologues. Trying to be a fierce Queen when all she can do is frightening a few soldiers with a help of the Dragons. That annoying saying “I was born to rule the 7 Kingdoms and I will!’ .Bleh. The woman makes me sick.

No disrespect to Emilia though. I know the girl is trying her best to squeeze out of that stupid character all the best there is.

2. Arya Stark

Even though she eventually killed my most beloved GoT character, I don’t hate Arya, I more hate what the writers did to her in the show. She was always a rebellious kid but they turned her into this relentless, zombie killing machine...She stabs people with a smile on her face. She cuts their throats laughing!

I don’t think Ned Stark would want this kind of future for her.

3. Varys

Now this one is tricky.

I used to love him in s1-3. He was this shady, clever man, always with a good councel, always friendly, but always mysterious. Especially his interactions with Littlefinger. Now that LF is gone, and even earlier, when they became seperated, Varys has became kinda..I don’t know, spare maybe? I don’t see a place for him now. I used to think that mabe he has a second plan hidden somewhere but now I don’t even think so.

4. Sandor “The Hound” Clegane

Tbh I never understood the love some people had for this character. He is really simple, thus ---> boring.

All that he has to offer is a wide range of swearing and some cheaky moves to sweep Brienne of her feet, which include punching, stomach hits and eventually trying to choke her.

I am not impressed.

5. Jon Snow

Ok, I do not hate the guy. He is alright. He did ok in the Battle of the Bastards, I give him that.

But that puppy look he gives literally everyone....gah

Sorry Jon, it may work on Daenerys, maybe it might have even worked on Ygritte (I doubt however that it did), but to me, you are no way fitted to become a King. Not in the North, not anywhere.

6. Gendry Baratheon

Wasted opportunity. He had been rowing for 3+ seasons too much. I am not interested in his story anymore.

7. Brandon Stark

Now, I don’t buy all the 3-eyed Raven thing just yet. Bran was a cool kid in season one. He lost his legs but not his spirit.

Right now, he is empty like Arya.

8. Theon Greyjoy

Heads up for his brave statement to save his sister. I do not belive he will succeed though.

He had been too much of a failure already.

9. Tyrion Lannister.

I put him on this list with a heavy heart. Tyrion has always been, and is probably so important for many people. GRRM created a beautiful personality of a man in an ugly body, but strong with his wits, charm, humour and a good heart. Tyrion was like this for exactly  5 seasons. Then the showrunners made him a kind of footstool for Daenerys, her Hand, but really they made Tyrion loose his wonderful personality...a thing that made him unique and caused us all to love him so much.

Too bad, really. Such a waste. Along with Petyr Baelish, Tyrion used to be my favourite character.

No more.

10. The Dragons.

You know what?

I don’t care.

Well, this is my summary for the Game of Thrones 2017. For what’s left of it. I didn’t want to even write it but deep inside it bugged me to take this out of my system. So here it is.

Happy 2018 to everyone!

[janiedean]

In your opinion, what characters from asoiaf were better adapted on the show? In terms of writing/ story/ appearance/ acting. And what characters turned out to be a disappointed compared to their book version?

oh god okay so, given that to me they had started well for almost all and then ended up in a mess

well-adapted + good acting:

bronn (I mean he’s probably had more screentime than book page-time and he’s less of an ass but I do enjoy him so)

davos (he has his moments of wtf but in general he’s one of the few that actually didn’t get the WHAT IS THIS OOC MOMENT treatment)

... I guess cersei though they softened her up too much and did a fairly bad woobification job in s2 but in comparison to the rest...

ygritte

sam

the high sparrow

tywin

the dead S1 crowd ie ned, drogo, viserys and robert

dead NW crowd ie jeor, pyp and grenn EXCEPT THAT PYP AND GREEN SHOULD BE ALIVE

varys

for what I care, renly

dany is a toss-up because I don’t think they butchered her sl and actually cutting shit from adwd helped but I think emilia’s the worst actress on the entire show - sorry guys I

roose

osha

tormund

good acting, ON THE FENCE on the adaptation:

jon (he’s the one out of the main three whose storyline I always enjoyed regardless of the targaryen crap at the end of S7)

tyrion (a+ acting, the character is way less gray than he should be but at this point I’ll take it)

bran (I mean okay but what’s this emotionless crap from S7 get out)

arya if we count S1-6, S7 was atrocious

brienne because gwen is a+ but they destroyed her with ooc-ness in S5 and they seem to think she’s the hulk 90% of the time

I guess margaery but I think they tried to make her look better than she actually is and idec that much about her so

the blackfish ie a+++ until his absolutely uncalled for demise

sandor because they gutted his S2 story but he’s fairly okay for the average

mance but I also didn’t think the actor was a fitting face for the role so

badly-adapted + good acting/acting opinions

LF (great actor, crap script since S3)

robb (a++++ in S1, madden is a gift from the gods, S2 and 3 were atrocious I wanted to die WHY TALISA WHY, continuously ooc for S2/3 whenever talisa was on screen)

cat (a++++ acting throughout, so sidelined in S3 I wanted to punch someone, total ooc writing in S3 half of the time)

sansa (I was good with sansa until S4, then S5 happened and I just - blergh. half of the time she’s okay and half I’m like wtf, but fucking S5 turned me sour forever)

theon (started well, then went into torture porn and whatever but then they sidelined him from HIS OWN GODDAMNED STORYLINE AND HE STILL DOESN’T KNOW RAMSAY IS DEAD AND don’t get me started on how much I loathe theon’s sl, this last season was sortamaybemoredecent but I still think they robbed him)

asha (yara is not asha EW I love gemma but nope)

jaime (best character arc ever after theon, TOTALLY BUTCHERED FROM S4 TO S7 and the fact that he relapses into being an ass when cersei’s around and brienne’s not just shows they didn’t understand shit about the fact that after brienne gives him the kickstart he wants to be decent and stays wholly decent idk why they did S5/6/7 SIX ESPECIALLY but good fucking grief I’m so angry about jaime you don’t even wanna know)

stannis (written 50% ic and 50% ooc until s5 just to give him that fucking ridiculous ending like are we srs)

loras (good acting, totally ooc post-s2)

melisandre (I mean kay but idg what they’re doing with her)

the poor direwolves

I’m prob. missing someone but I think the main ones are here lol

[tsukinobherzhoka12]

The Sass Squad chapter 1

The Sassy Squad

The awkward drunk

Disclaimer: I don't own naruto and any of the characters here if I did they would meet each other and have an unlikely alliance

AU: In this AU it is where the Akatsuki is just a mercenary group who where doing odd jobs and confidential missions for the sake of the shinobi nations,Kakashi,Yamato and Sai is the same, Itachi is like in the Au in the road of ninja but Sasuke is still in his Emo mode like in the canon even Itachi is in the village side even though, and Ino is still the same attitude but sometimes gambles for money when needed and only a member of the Yamanaka clan on her mother's side Inoichi is her uncle in her mother's side. she always travels from konoha to the capital of the shinobi nations, every half of the year.  back and forth, unless she had mission that she needs to travel from places.

At the Himitsunoe Manor

*Evening*

''Sharky what is the theme of the portraits in the hallway today?"Ino asked him while watching her favorite TV series alongside with him

"It's aesthetic of the things that makes us peaceful ,like  Portrait of Sai with his creations in the field, Mine half naked in the waterfall,with samehada while meditating, Kakashi lying in the field with his ninkens, Yamato with trees shading himself from one of them.

While you lie in a field of pastel flowers surrounding you as you lie with it like in a sleeping beauty position,also you wear a flower crown in your head'' Kisame informed her

"Also our group picture is like in a Gothic Victorian period, like in the crimson peak kinda vibe, Kakashi was the center this time, sitting like a boss while we surrounded  him like we are his henchman,we are so very formal"

Kisame sigh"Its a stunning portrait actually,we really like we had the pictorial for a magazine realistic even I,need to have another look"

Ino's favorite place to wander in the manor was the hallway of expressions where portraits of the occupants in the manor always changes ever week, there are different  themes being shown in the portraits that describes themselves either joyful until to their darkest moments that  really symbolizes the six of them. While it was Ino's favorite,it was Kakashi's least favorite part of the house.

Because its too personal, it even shows every symbolism in his past,depends on the theme every week. and it was located in the big hallway entrance.

But like Kakashi, she would also be nervous if Shikamaru and Chouji would be able to find and locate this place,she would come here if those two are in mission or they are spending the day with only the two of them . she would not imagine their faces when they found out about this place and secrets she intended to keep only for herself. not to mention The team seven are the last persons to be the one who will enter and saw their pictures in the hallway.

Itachi is also worried if Sasuke was able to find this manor. even if it’s lot was really big, there is a seal for the intruders not to find this place. He really needs to have time for himself so that is why he was here for his inner peace (even though this place is really big for six occupants and very noisy )

" Piglet, does your father know that your not staying at your home right now?"Kisame asked while watching his most awaited television series now on Blue-ray DVD, 'Game of Thrones' he just watch it on DVD because he cannot watch it in the Tv since he and Itachi would likely had a mission when the series would air he watch the pilot episode so he is now interested to the show. He currently munching his popcorn right now.

"He is currently in a mission with the Ino-Shika-Cho, something about stopping an enemy to assassinate a nobleman or something" Ino Yamanaka answered while also eating her popcorn she sat beside Kisame as they watch Game of thrones. She sneered while they watch Cersei and Jaime scene

" Ugh Kami-sama pls... I know its forbidden love or something, I hate Incest especially those two,they pushed Bran out to the tower,The things we do for love my ass!"

Kisame just laughed" Oh come on we already know Cersei is just manipulating him ever since they where children" he snickered" and besides, we already know that she was also fucking her cousin Lancel and because of that King Bobby B (Robert Baratheon) is dead,being gorged by a boar" he grinned " So offensive for you since they used your animal sign to kill him"

"Well if you make a boar as your prey, kill it at once ,no second chances, When you leave a boar alive, no hunter will be safe, Where do we inherit our name and stubbornness from?" she let out a chuckle and goes back on watching the series. she let out a shocked expression when they saw Joffrey Ordered Ned Stark to be beheaded while Sansa and Arya watched and also much to everyone's surprise. While Kisame was also in disbelief.

"OHHH NONOONONOO YOU LITTLE VICIOUS SHIT!!! YOU FUCKIN INBRED!! I HATE YOU! KAMI-SAMA NO!!!!"Then she watch Arya's expression" Poor Arya you little small bean, Poor Sansa for being such a sheltered brat. FUCK JOFFREY!!"

"The world was really full of lies, but to kill the most honorable people on the seven kingdoms? Mind blown!, I will now watch this series really! Not your ordinary TV show! Still terrified of the white walkers though"

" It's because your a sadistic fuck Kisame!" Ino mocked him" and besides why are you terrified of them, you had the same color"

" Well Your the one to talk, your terrifying when your tantrums are shown, your prone to irrationality"Kisame smack her head playfully "Your racist by the way"

"Ouch why you-"

Suddenly Yamato appeared and he appears to be drunk.  He was walking funnily and landed on the other couch, he let out a laugh and a few hiccups. He also had look them and giggled

"What was he thinking right now?" The two thought in unison while looking to their drunk companion. Then Yamato let out a smirk

"Hey, do you want to see my wood?"

Ino and Kisame watched him in disbelief while staring at him for a second.

"WTF! WTF was that Yamato!?" Kisame roared in laughter he never really thought that a  serious,uptight person like Yamato would say that when he is sober 'Man, he must be wishing for a one night stand, Unfortunately he just wandered to the house where everyone would laughed at his drunk stupor Like the Blondie rolling in the floor right now and banging her fist in the floor. '

Kisame, realizing that he has the mood to take advantage of Yamato's drunk state, he turns off the tv and join the two who was still in the same position as  he last leave them

"Well, I can assure you ladies my wood is longer than you anticipated"

Ino burst out an unladylike like laugh with tears in her eyes while Kisame holds his stomach to prevent it from hurting

"Oh Kami, normally I would punch you right now senpai if your just like the others, creepy and disgusting" she wiped her tears of laughter "But when those words comes to your uptight mouth its just pure hilarious!"she finally recovered and turns to Kisame while he tries to recover himself from laughing

" Lucky for you, Kakashi is on a mission, Itachi is sleeping or maybe in his Batman mode, and Sai is with Kakashi, and We are the only one to laugh you right now,"Kisame snickered in a good way and goes to the kitchen to get an aspirin and water.

" The sharky is right, Yamato-senpai. Good thing Kakashi-sensei is not here or else he would record it into himself and use it to blackmail you to pay for his expenses, You know how expensive those Icha-Icha books,especially those best sellers! " Ino help Yamato to his drunken state and laid him down in the sofa "Kami-sama, Your heavy!"

"You know your flower can be satisfied if it is finally connected to my-Ouch!"Yamato was smacked in the face by a thick book that Ino must have randomly take Yamato stop slurring and became unconscious.

"Okay, lay low,stop now, Two jokes about your 'wood' is enough just don't include the badly covered term for the female organ."Ino sigh while adjusting the pillow for his head.

"Hey,Piglet, I brought the things needed, I will put it at his bedroom"Kisame shouted from Yamato's room ''You can carry him now!"

'OI!Help me here sharky! what do you think what we are carrying here? a sack of rice?"Ino retorted while she can see Kisame approach her with a mocking grin

"awww weak little piggy need some help"

"Shut it Sharky! It would be awkward if I drag  him to the bed, besides its to heavy for me you and you can carry him by one hand!"Ino reason out while glaring at him

"Fine,fine you got a point for that"then the shark nin carried the wood user towards the latter's bedroom then they started adjusting the pillows, helping him undress half naked and Ino used a wet clothed to clean his upper torso while Kisame get some of the clothes from the cabinet and help Ino dress the unconscious man and set him to bed. finally when they are done they sat on Yamato's mini living room. his room was a suitable room for a environmentalist like him. Clean,green and fresh in the eye.

"When he woke up, I swear I'm going to attack him with questions! Woodman never easily get drunk like this,and about his wood jokes, man this is hilarious!"Kisame can't help but chuckle while Ino sat in front on the other couch let out a sigh " Don't torture him like that, he is the mother of this mansion and Kakashi is the lazy bum father who threatens us to eat sashimi"

"Piglet, you're the only one who hate eating sashimi and kakashi is acting as a father figure because you're a rebellious and pigheaded girl"Kisame casually commented while Ino let out a pout. but she let out a chuckle

"Do you remembered the day that we met here in this mansion, how this mysterious mansion appeared and had a convenient interior for us hired people like me and itachi, a runaway royal outcast like you, men without past identities about their heritage like sai and yamato and a self-loathing and a mystery called kakashi?" Kisame casually remembering the past

"Duh, we always fought all the time, You on your mockery on my height and eating tendencies and how it suited my name and me mocking you for your height and how will you never get laid because no one will lay down on a shark because your harsh and too honest, your habits and etc."Ino snickered

"But I realize that your one of the people who I can follow my shenanigans and always with me on casinos when I needed money, and heck you became a drag queen because of me and of course you treated me an equal, my virtues as a woman"She concluded and let out a giggle" Your a huge slap of reality to my face so I appreciated your honesty since you can't really stand flowery words. Thank you"

"hmmn? you have womanly virtues? where?"Kisame feign innocence "I can't see it"

"Can you please kill  yourself ,like right now!"Ino throws a pillow from the couch and Kisame easily  dodge  it while laughing

"Piglet, you're a good person, not just appearance and not your temperamental mode

I hope someone can see that beyond skin deep"Kisame commented

"So anyway,midnight marathon ,we will watch K-drama?"Ino suggested

"ooh, Legend of the blue sea?"Kisame suggested

"That was last time ,and we watched it twenty times!"Ino complained

"how about Goblin!"Ino suggested

"We watch that for 25 times Piggy! and it's just that you like older men, I always knew you like daddy kink"

"Hey no kink shaming here! At least I’m not  prone to bestiality!"

"You and your weird accusations piglet! Fuck you"

"No thank you, I will decline the offer"

they stare at each other and laugh at each others faces

"Hey ladies, can I have you beautiful flower?" Yamato suddenly talk in his sleep, mumbling about his lame pick-up lines to his sleep

"I swear I will use it as a blackmail when I needed something to him"Ino tried to hold her laughter

"Likewise Piglet, Likewise "Kisame had tried to hold his laughter before it burst out and silently exited from the room and went to their respected rooms to rest for a day.

AU: I hope you like the first chapter, please review if you want another prompt. and this story will not be a reverse harem, this is a friendship between people who will unlikely  to be allies in canon except to Yamato ,Kakashi and Sai. and in the side of Itachi and Kisame. They are called to fabulous to die squad after all

[obsidianarchives]

Game of Thrones Recap: S7E4 - "The Spoils of War"

So. SO.

Game of Thrones was lit this week. Pun intended. Pacing problems aside, the writers gave us exactly what we’ve been waiting for for seven years: Stark reunions and Fire and Blood. The closer we move to the end of the series, the more stark contrasts we get between the show’s primary theme: Ice and Fire. We see it in the characters Jon and Dany, and in this particular episode we see the contrast between Winterfell and the snows of the North and the second Field of Fire. This episode was everything, so much so that I watched it twice on Sunday, just because I needed to revel in it’s glory again.

Highgarden/King’s Landing

We start the episode off with a short scene near Highgarden, where the Lannister host is transporting Tyrell gold and provisions to King’s Landing. It seems like things are going well for the Lannisters at this point. They’re on track to pay their debts (both big and small), and have now solidified two more of the seven kingdoms under their dominion. Bronn is fed up as usual, and probably regretting his volunteering to be Tyrion’s champion all those years ago. He’s been fighting for the Lannisters for the occasional bag of gold, some titles, and the promise of a castle and a lady for a long time now, and he’s clearly tired of fighting for them without reaping his full reward.

The Iron Bank is happy that they’re getting paid back and are willing to loan Cersei more money to help in her endeavors, which doesn’t make sense to me but also I don’t understand money so that’s not the show’s fault. Cersei mentions something about Qyburn reaching out to the Golden Company - a squad of sellswords like Daario’s Second Sons only more badass - so we’ll see if that comes to fruition soon. Either way, we see Cersei feeling more triumphant than she has in a while, a feeling that won’t last long because DRAGONS.

Winterfell

Up in the North, Littlefinger is still useless. When he’s not staring down at various Starks from balconies with a smirk on his face, he’s trying to manipulate one Stark or another for some reason still unknown and unnecessary given that they’re all preparing for winter and the impending invasion from the whitewalkers. This time, he goes to Bran, the newest Stark back in Winterfell. He gives Bran the Knife That Started It All, proclaims his love for Catelyn, and swears to protect him and Sansa. It’s cute that he thinks this will work, and Bran clearly thinks so, as he quotes something Littlefinger said seasons ago and which Bran shouldn’t know given that this is the first time they’ve met. Littlefinger is clearly shook, which is wonderful. Right now Bran holds a lot of information about Littlefinger, and I can’t wait for him to reveal some stuff - especially the fact that it was Littlefinger who doublecrossed Ned for Cersei and Joffrey. It would be great if that was revealed so that we can get him out of here. Right now it isn’t clear why he’s still around - again his goal seems really insignificant in comparison to the larger things going on.

Meera decides to go back home to The Neck to be with her family when winter comes. All of the sudden, Bran is bad at social skills and barely says thank you to Meera after all she and Jojen have done for him. Meera is rightfully upset, but Bran tells her that he’s not really Bran anymore. While he remembers his life, he also remembers so much more. While I like this explanation and do like it as character development for him, it still feels abrupt when we didn’t see the beginnings of these changes after Bran and Meera left the cave - including all that time they were with Benjen. I also think that it would’ve been nice to see Bran struggling with this - he seems too fine with losing his identity, with seemingly living hundreds of thousands of lives at once, and I would have loved to see some internal struggle to further his character development within the larger plot.

This abrupt development feels like a symptom of this season’s pacing issues and the forcing of these characters into plot but I’m over it for now because ARYA ARRIVES AT WINTERFELL! There’s a scene similar to one in season 1 when the guards wouldn’t let her back into the Red Keep because they thought she was some common person from Flea Bottom. This time, guards who have no institutional memory (which, to be fair, isn’t their fault) don’t believe her, but luckily she’s able to sneak past them to the crypts. Sansa meets her there and we get a better moment than Bran gave us last episode. What’s really interesting about their interaction is that we see how opposite they still are - while they have both been through a lot of horrible things, at this moment they are at the peak of who they always wanted to be - Sansa a lady and Arya a fighter. It’s great to see them bond, but we do see where things could potentially get complicated, for example when Arya mentions her list, and Sansa laughs in disbelief.

We then get more STARK PARTY when Sansa and Arya go to see Bran in the godswood. Sansa has warned Arya that he’s different now, and Arya sees it firsthand when he tells her that he saw her “at the crossroads,” deciding whether to come home or to go to King’s Landing to kill Cersei. Bran’s mention of the List is Sansa’s hint that it’s not a joke, and when she asks Arya who is on the list, Arya tells her that most of the people are dead. Bran then gives Arya the blade given to him by Littlefinger, which means that Arya now has Valyrian steel and can fight whitewalkers! We then get to see some of Arya’s skills when she trains with Brienne. By this point, I was already ridiculously giddy about this episode, and seeing Arya’s skills made it even better. This is the moment that solidifies for Sansa that in a way she’s lost both Bran and Arya. They are no longer the children she saw in her mind. She still hasn’t heard Arya’s story - about her traveling with the Hound, her time in Braavos, her murdering of the Freys - but at this point she doesn’t even really need to hear it. While Sansa seems slightly unsettled, Littlefinger looks downright shooketh at the fact that he now has to deal with two powerful and unpredictable Starks. All his strategizing and weird ass soliloquies will be for naught if Bran and Arya decide he needs to go.

Dragonstone

Over on Dragonstone, Dany finds out about #MissanGrey as she and Missandei go to meet Jon and Davos to see the dragonglass. Even though Jon shows her under the pretense of wanting her to see the paintings deeper in the cave, there were very clearly some romantic undertones to this scene. The two of them are clearly intrigued by each other (even Davos notices), and at this point the main thing holding them back is their stubbornness. Jon shows Dany the paintings made by the Children of the Forest, mainly of symbols (ones we’ve seen before north of the Wall), but one in particular of the Children and the First Men fighting the walkers. It serves to convince Dany that the whitewalkers are real, but it doesn’t convince her to give up her claim of the North. She tells Jon that she will fight the walkers when Jon bends the knee - which COME ON FAM THERE ARE CLEARLY MORE IMPORTANT THINGS YOU CAN’T RULE OVER THE NORTH IF THEY’RE ALL ZOMBIES. Jon declines again and Dany asks whether the North’s survival is more important than his pride, but honestly that applies to her too. As I’ve said before, Jon and Dany are at a moot and I’m surprised (mainly because of the pacing of this season) that the subject of marriage hasn’t been brought up yet. Dany knew she would have to marry a Westerosi lord in order to shore up her claim to the Iron Throne and even if she and Jon weren’t making subtle eyes at each other, that alliance seems like it would be stronger through marriage rather than another King Who Knelt.

Jon and Dany’s romantic cave walk turned demand for fealty turns sour when Tyrion and Varys arrive to tell them of their loss of the Reach. Dany is angry and no longer wants to listen to Tyrion’s council, which admittedly hasn’t gone so well lately. Dany wants very badly to fly to King’s Landing and burn the city and the Red Keep, and when Tyrion disagrees she calls his loyalty into question. She then turns to Jon, who also advises against it, telling her essentially what Tyrion has been telling her: if she melts castles and burns cities to the ground, she’s just the same as everyone else. She’s supposed to be a Queen of the people. As Missandei says later, it’s how she won the loyalty of the people who came with her from Essos (problematic writing and tropes aside). While she should take the fighting to Cersei, burning all of King’s Landing wouldn’t help her cause.

Later, Theon arrives at Dragonstone to ask for Dany’s help to save Yara from Euron. After not punching him in the face, Jon tells Theon that Dany left. Theon asks where she went and then, AND THEN...

The Reach/The Crownlands

DRAGONNSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But actually let me backtrack a bit since this is technically supposed to be a proper recap and not four pages of me typing “DRAGONS” over and over again. So we see the Lannister army on its way back to King’s Landing. Randyll Tarly makes a report to Jaime letting him - and us - know that the gold has made it safely to King’s Landing, but that they are spread too thin and need to hurry to get the rest of the provisions through the city gates ASAP. Then, showing us that he’s better at being the worst than show-Euron, he suggests flogging the stragglers. Jaime tells him to chill, but agrees that they need to hurry.

Jaime and Bronn then go to poke some fun at Dickon Tarly because they are twelve and we hear a bit about Dickon’s personal struggles with having to fight other men of the Reach. But then Bronn’s spidey-senses start tingling and at this point I’m honestly just trying to maintain coherency for the rest of this recap because HOLY CRAP.

The dothraki come charging at them from the horizon and the Lannisters are clearly outnumbered. Bronn tells Jaime to leave for King’s Landing but Jaime disagrees, saying that they can hold them off until DANY AND DROGON COME FLYING ABOVE ALL OMGOMGOMGFIREANDBLOODDDOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGDRACARYSD;KDJGHRIAJSLK;AHGJDGJEIJSS

I’m really trying y’all but as I told you I watched this twice in three hours (with an Insecure break in the middle) and just thinking about it makes me really happy and I may go watch it again as soon as I finish this recap. This show excels at battle scenes and I love how they’re able to make them feel new and different and exciting every single time. From the battle of Blackwater Bay to the Field of Fire Part 2, the only real difference is the budget. I have yet to be disappointed by a Big Battle Episode - I was stressed and worried and surprised, and this time it wasn’t just because of the dragon but because there were characters we know and love on both sides of the fighting. There’s a moment when Tyrion appears, overlooking the battlefield, and it seems like he’s there solely to be all of us, rooting for Daenerys to win but also for Jaime and Bronn to survive.

At least until Bronn started shooting the Scorpion at Drogon. Then I needed him to go. After Dany and Drogon burn up all of the provisions - meaning it’s going to be a harsh winter for the southern lords - he gets two shots out, the first one narrowly missing, and the second wounding Drogon. Luckily, Drogon destroys the Scorpion soon after (and hopefully it was the only one in Cersei’s possession). Drogon and Dany land and Dany tries to take the bolt out of Drogon’s shoulder. Of course, Jaime chooses this time to try and charge them, but Drogon sees him and Bronn saves him from being barbecued just in time. We end the episode with Jaime, and probably Bronn, sinking in the river.

Again, this episode was amazing and I only had one small, selfish gripe with the end scene - where were Viserion and Rhaegal? Obviously that would have probably done more damage than the writers were looking for, and we don’t have riders for the two of them yet, but I think that would’ve been the only thing to make my brain truly explode. As I’ve mentioned earlier in this review and the one before, I do think the pacing is a problem and I wish this season was a full 10 episodes - I think it really would have benefited from it - but at the same time this particular episode is already in my top 10 so it’s not an irredeemable fault. I can’t wait for the next episode and am sad that we only have three more weeks of this. We are hurtling so quickly towards the end and I am not ready.