#nearly started wheeze laughing on camera during my lecture
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madsmilfelsen · 2 months ago
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'MY TATTOOS ARE OLDER THAN YOU'??? FIRST LINE AND I AM ALREADY LIKE OH OKAY WHILE I GET PUSSY ZOOMIES PLEASE HAVE MERCY
the whole point of me even writing that fic is going to be just to use that line
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incorrect-oldstar-quotes · 4 years ago
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never a dull moment
Stars: Thelma Todd, Mabel Normand, Minta Durfee, Edna Purviance
Summary: The girls go for a fast food run and make the ride half the fun.
Words: 1,374
Notes: Requested by @spinningtop397 (thank you again)! Based on one of my all-time favorite vines [x].
🐸☕🐸☕🐸☕🐸☕🐸☕
It was a Friday night and they had everything they needed: Netflix, soft blankets, snacks, and hot beverages. But there was one thing they were missing, and that was the food. It was 11 PM and most sit-down places were closed, but that was just fine because they were comfortable in Mabel and Minta’s room. Then again, it was also too late to order delivery, and none of them wanted to eat ramen again.
They sat and brainstormed ideas and then Thelma spoke up. Rather, she sat up way too fast and scared the others a little bit. “Hey, how about In-n-Out?”
Edna broke the silence with a laugh. “For a second, I thought you just found a killer seafood deal.”
“Actually, I don’t think I’ve had In-n-Out yet,” she commented. That was when everyone remembered that Thelma got to California like 2 months ago and hadn’t really eaten much local yet. “But if I had found a good seafood deal, you would’ve seen a way different reaction.”
Mabel stood up and stretched. “My vote’s on In-n-Out too. Anyone else got an idea?”
Minta and Edna shook their heads no in tandem and began to stand up as well. Edna had no problems getting up from her chair on the floor, but Minta needed some help getting off her bed. She’d been laying down for almost an hour and had gotten a bit too comfortable. “Hey? Uhhhh,” she muttered with a laugh.
“We gotcha,” Thelma said cheerfully as she and Mabel helped her onto the floor. “So who’s driving?”
Edna and Mabel pulled a nose-goes on them, and Thelma caught on before Minta could follow. “I wasn’t looking!” she whined, but there was no energy behind it. They slipped on their shoes, pajamas be damned, and headed to Minta’s car.
Minta’s family was never super rich but they had just enough to pass down her mom’s fifteen-year-old Corolla when she went to college. It was well-kept and just enough to help her get around when it was time to leave campus. Mabel called shotgun, while Edna and Thelma took the back seats.
Thelma opened the passenger seat door and almost sat down until she felt a lump on her seat. “Oh hey- Kermit?”
“Just pass him up here,” Minta said, a little quickly like she was shy about it.
“What are you doing with a Kermit doll in your car?” Thelma asked, suppressing a laugh. 
“It’s a project for my teaching methods class. The professor assigned us all Muppets characters. We have to give some kind of a teaching lecture in character.”
“I’ve been helping a little, but her Kermit is better than mine.”
“Cute,” Edna commented quietly.
“Anyway, I’m the DJ this time. Any music requests? If not, I’m breaking out the 90s.”
Edna and Thelma shared a couple glances. “I’m fine with whatever,” Edna answered. “Hit us with your best.”
“Okay, you got it.” She shuffled the playlist and the first thing she got was “Burn” by Usher, which made the whole car start laughing. Everyone except Thelma, of course.
“What’s so funny?”
Mabel turned around to get a good look at her. “You know who Chico is, right?”
“Is he the stout dude that wears that green hat everywhere? Isn’t he like a super senior or something?”
Mabel nodded. “Yep, that’s the one. He plays this song at every single one of his parties. It’s like 10 years old at this point and he plays it like it’s still the number 1 radio hit.”
Thelma hummed. “He’s an odd little fella but he seems pretty cool. Why’s he been here so long again?”
“He went to study in France one year. Nobody ever sees him in class but he’s actually pretty smart. He’s almost always in the top of his class.”
Edna leaned forward, actually intrigued by the conversation. “Wait, I thought that was Groucho who was the smart one.”
“Well, they’re all different degrees of smart but they just present it differently. Everything just comes easy to Chico, which is why he’s always at the top but you never see him in class. Harpo doesn’t really like to brag about it. Groucho is the bookworm and numbers guy, and Zeppo is good at speaking and writing.”
Thelma laughed. “How do you know so much about the Marx brothers?”
“I’m cool with them all. I’m in Model UN with Zeppo but I knew the others before I knew him. Everybody knows them. If you know one, you know them all. When you’re here long enough, Thelma, you’ll figure them out too.”
By the time they’d finished talking about the brothers, the first song was over and they’d changed to “What’s Up” by the 4 Non-Blondes. Mabel began to sing along and copy the singer’s style, which gave Thelma a great idea.
“Hey, Mabel!” she almost shouted, but not loud enough to distract Minta from driving. “You still have that Kermit doll up there, right?”
“Yeah, he’s right here.” She held him up over her shoulder and started waving at them in the back seat.
“Great. Do you know ‘I Don’t Mind’ by Usher?”
Mabel opened her phone and scrolled through her library. “Actually, yeah, I got it right here.”
“I have a great idea for a meme. Play that one next and sing it in your Kermit voice. I’ll record.”
Thelma was already giddy with laughter as she thought about what was coming up. The current song began to fade and she opened her camera.
“Ready?” Mabel asked, to which she got a thumbs-up.
Thelma chuckled then cheered, “Oooooh, this is my jam!”
This is for the A
Mabel propped the doll up and began to sing, “Shawty, I don’t. MIIIIIIIIND.” Her impression was perfect and it almost made Thelma drop her phone laughing within seconds of hearing it. Edna joined in and eventually Minta did as well, when she was safely turning into the In-n-Out parking lot. 
“Hi, welcome to In-n-Out, order when you’re ready,” the worker at the speaker said on cue. Minta thanked her kindly and then turned to the still-giggly car. The music was turned down but the laughter was still as loud as ever.
“Okay, Giggles McGee, relax for like 2 minutes. What does everyone want?” While Thelma, still teary-eyed from laughter, looked over the menu, the others took turns calling theirs out to the speaker. Once everyone’s orders were in place, they pulled up to the first window.
Mabel nearly crushed Minta to get to the window. She stretched her arms as far as she could and stuck the Kermit out the window.
“Yeah and uhhhhhh do you mind if we get extra ketchup?” she asked in the Kermit voice.
“MABEL NO,” Edna shouted. 
The girl working at the cash register seemed to be living her best life. “Is that a Kermit?”
“Yes, ma’am!” Mabel answered. The other girls hid their faces in embarrassment. “We’re just out getting some eats, listening to some tuuunes, fun night tonight.”
“Okay, that sounds lovely. If you pull up to the next window, they’ll have your order right there.”
“Thank you!” The car sat in idle silence during the exchange, but all Hell broke loose as soon as they pulled away from the window.
“Why do I go anywhere with you?” Minta whined, once again with no heat behind it, but they weren’t too sure about that. Edna and Thelma wheezed laughing in the back seat.
Mabel held the door up again to face her. “Because you love us and we’re just trying to help you get a good grade on that project, like good friends do.”
But apparently word had gotten up to the second window about the special guest in their car. The guy at the second window was already anticipating it.
“I heard you have a Kermit,” he laughed.
Almost on instinct, Mabel turned the radio up again. She’d put Kermit down for a moment, but he was up again when the beat hit.
This is for the A
“Shawty, I don’t.” 
“MIIIIIIIIND.” The other girls decided it was easier to join in than try to argue with her on it. But this is why they love Mabel. She knows just how to make everyone smile.
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twokinkybeans · 5 years ago
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Jar Of Dirt 12: Pizza Party [Starker Fanfiction NSFW/18+]
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There's a LOT going on in this chapter, sorry for this crazy amount of warnings whoops.
Kink/Sexual Warnings: Daddy Kink, Praise Kink, Dirty Talk, Voice Kink, Name-Calling, Public Teasing, Exhibitionism, Explicit Fantasies about some of the other Avengers, Anal Sex, Sex Toys, Spitroasting (with a toy), Blindfold, Sensory Deprivation. Other Warnings: Beck is back - being a creep & implying some dubious things.
All Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11 . . . Masterpost (More to come!)
---
Chapter 12: Pizza Party Peter’s late, as usual. He just can’t help it; if there’s a robbery down the street he has to do something about it. Even if he’d want to ignore it, it’s simply not his nature. He’s Spider-Man. That’s what he does. Besides, it’s not like he misses anything too important for his physics lecture. Professor Dane is super old and usually takes half an hour to even get started. Peter knows it’s a bad trait to be tardy, so he does make an effort to get there as soon as possible. He cuts a corner and ducks to evade a few other students who stare him down. When he’s almost at the door of the lecture hall, he slows down. Hoping to ease his panting before he walks in. He doesn’t want to look like a wheezing idiot. His skin’s tingling and Peter frowns. That’s highly unusual. It’s probably the leftover adrenaline making his Spidey senses kick in though, so he tries to shake the warning signs his body is trying to give him.
When he feels like he’s collected himself enough, he wraps his fingers around the doorknob and slowly opens it, flinching at the squeaky sound that comes from the hinges. His head is ducked down, trying to evade the gazes of all the students that are staring at him. They can’t help it, the door is at the front of the lecture hall and someone coming in late is the perfect distraction from Dane’s slow, monotone sentences. Something’s off though. There’s something ominous hanging in the room. “Ah! Peter Parker!” Peter stops dead in his tracks when he recognizes that voice. That is not Professor Dane. Oh, no. Peter slowly turns his head to the man in front of the whiteboard. A shiver running down Peter’s spine when he sees the wide, toothy grin and slicked-back hair. His big, bright blue eyes pierce through Peter’s. “Glad you could join us, after all.”
Beck takes a few steps towards Peter and cocks his head, his grin causing Peter’s blood to run cold. His jaw is clenched. Every molecule inside his body is screaming at him to run. But he can’t cause a scene. He shouldn’t. He’s not like that. To the class, Beck hasn’t done anything out of the ordinary. “Mr. Beck,” he says politely, not missing how that only deepens the man’s smirk, his eyes glimmering in victory. “Heard many good things about you, kid.” Kid. He called him kid. Like Tony does. Fucking hell. "I'll be taking over from professor Dane, while he's recovering from surgery. Now, please take a seat. Page 26 of your handout.”
During the lecture, Peter doesn’t miss the way the girls in his class seem to flock together, sending Beck flirtatious smiles, giggling. Peter presses his lips together. He gets it. Beck is charming as fuck. If Peter didn’t know any better he’d be sending Quentin the exact same gaze. But he does know better, and it doesn’t sit right with him. He tries to ignore Beck as much as he can. Taking notes and reading along on the handout. But he feels Beck’s gaze brushing past him each and every time, making him break into goosebumps. He knows he’s the center of the man’s attention and he hates it. He has no clue what the lecture is actually about. So when Beck asks him a question, he doesn’t know what to answer. “Uhh- I- I don’t know.” “You don’t know,” Beck mutters. “First. You’re fifteen minutes late. And now you’re not paying attention. I expect you to behave in my class. Is that understood?” “Yes,” Peter breathes out, his heart thumping in his chest. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Beck doesn’t leave it at that, cocking an eyebrow at him. Peter’s cheeks flush in embarrassment. He knows what Beck is forcing him to say. He doesn’t want to say it. He feels sick to his stomach at the thought alone. But he can’t misbehave in class. He can’t show the others what’s going on. So he looks up, forcing a smile on his lips, feeling them quiver.
“Yes, Sir.”
-
When class is over, Peter’s the first one outside, ignoring Beck by staring straight at the floor, not listening when the man calls him back. His heart is thumping in his chest. His thoughts all jumbled up. Beck. Beck. Beck. After ten minutes of long strides, he finally feels like he’s far enough away from the lecture hall to allow himself to breathe. He drops himself on the nearest bench and stares at the students lounging on the little grass patch in front of him. “Dude-” Peter’s shaken out of his thoughts by Ned, running to catch up with him. Peter’s unsure how long he sat on that bench, his mind racing too much to keep track of time. “What the hell happened back there, man?” Ned pants as he sits down next to Peter, spreading his limbs slightly to cool down.
Peter scoffs, bending forward to press his hands against his forehead, elbows resting on his knees. “Mandatory class,” he mumbles. “What?” “It’s a mandatory class, Ned!” “Of course, it’s mandatory, Pete- you’re literally studying physics! Attendance isn’t optional.” Ned leans down forward to get to Peter’s level. “Why are you so worked up? Don’t you like Mr. Beck?” Peter scoffs again and looks at Ned with raised eyebrows. “That man is Mr. Stark’s abusive ex. Tried to get in my pants at Tony’s birthday party.” “Holy fuck.” Ned leans back again, still panting from his workout earlier. “Wait- abusive?” “Don’t-” “Alright, alright, sorry. Personal stuff, I get it.” Ned opens his palms and nods once. Peter lets out a deep sigh and squeezes his eyes shut. “Can’t call in sick either, every class for the entire upcoming month is important…” Peter mumbles. “Got the practicals- can’t skip those.” Ned places his hand on Peter’s shoulder and squeezes once. “Pete, it’s only one week. Prof Dane will be back before you know it.” Peter takes a deep breath and bites the inside of his cheek. “Yeah- yeah, it’s not a big deal- I mean, it’s a big deal, but I can deal with it yaknow-” “Peter. Stop.” Peter presses his lips on top of each other and purses them, nodding slightly. Ned gently pulls Peter back to help him sit more comfortably on the bench. They stay there, quietly staring ahead and Peter can’t be more grateful for his best friend.
“What are you gonna tell Mr. Stark?” Peter keeps staring ahead, blinking a few times, processing Ned’s words. “Nothing.” Ned shifts in his seat, pulling a face at Peter. “Nothing?” “I’ve seen how anxious Beck makes him. And he wasn’t even in the room when it happened. I- I can’t. I don’t want to make him scared for something that’s probably harmless. It’s only for a week and then we can forget about all of this. Forget about him.” “I mean, fair.” Ned sucks at his teeth. “Besides, Beck wouldn’t try anything on campus anyways; there’s cameras everywhere.” Peter nods and scratches at his head before realizing Tony’s coming over to their dorm tomorrow. He turns to Ned, eyes wide. “Please, don’t tell Mr. Stark about this. Don’t tell him about prof Dane, or any substitute. Just- just don’t mention physics class at all, okay?” Peter’s intensity has Ned shift back a little, raising his hands defensively. “Okay- okay, I gotchu, man. I’ll keep my mouth shut.” “Promise me, Ned.” Peter gives him a pleading look, causing Ned to roll his eyes and smile. “I promise.”
-
Peter expected a lot of things from Tony sleeping over at their dorm. He thought it’d be awkward. Thought Tony might feel out of place or not know what to say to Ned, or anything uncomfortable really. Instead, Tony’s propped up on Peter’s small bed in between the boys. Legs splayed out, the black sweatpants hugging the man’s skin loosely. He’s staring at the screen intently, his upper body moving to the right fast when he’s nearly causing the green squishy to fall off the Rainbow Road. “Fucking hell,” he mutters, making Peter laugh. “Dumb Dino… I’ve actually raced a solid ten minutes in the Formula 1 in Monaco, this is the biggest downgrade ever.” He curses when Mini Hulk actually falls into the void. “Great, now I’m way behind.” Ned perks up at the mention of the Formula 1. “Oh right! That was way back, right? With the Stark Expo? Think I saw it in this documentary once.” Fuck, these kids are young. “Yup, was fun till Vanko decided to ruin it.” “Did you know that’s actually when we first met? That Stark Expo?” Peter’s voice chimes in and Tony looks at his boyfriend, wide-eyed. No longer paying attention to the TV screen, T-Rex failed him anyways. “What?” “Yeah! You probably don’t remember me, but I was one of the kids with an Iron Man helmet? I actually still have the magazine you signed for me somewhere in a box." Tony stares at Peter. God, the boy isn’t even joking. “Wait, how old were you back then? That was ages ago.” Peter doesn’t answer, he just grins. “Oh my God, I’m old.”
“You guys want more chips? I can get more chips.” Ned says slowly, shifting forward to jump off the bed. He grabs the bowls and leaves for the kitchen. Peter blushes. He hadn’t meant for Ned to feel uncomfortable. They’ll start a new round when the boy gets back to make up for it and move past this conversation. Peter can’t help but to make one more comment, though. “Lemme rephrase. I was the kid with the Iron Man helmet who was dumb enough to stand up against one of those drone thingies.” “That was you?!” Tony huffs out a surprised breath. “Fuck, kid, that’s not dumb. Always thought that kid- you were brave, Jeez.” He smiles at Peter proudly. Fuck. Even when he was an actual child he didn’t shy away from a fight. He’d been right to take Spider-Man under his wing all those years ago. Peter’s made for it. “Wait, so you remember that?” Peter’s blushing, a smile breaking through the expression on his face. “Fuck, yes, I do.”
Ned returns with the chips and gets back on the bed again, picking up his console. “Pete, what do you say, Baby Park next?” “Hell yeah!” The other uni student replies. Tony groans. That name alone doesn’t sound very promising. He lifts the controller and looks at the symbols once more, making sure he knows where they are located, and snorts when he sees a tiny green blob in his kart on the screen. Those Millennials are another species, that’s for sure. Tony can hear Peter’s voice echo in his head. “Mr. Stark, Millennials are in their late 30s by now, I’m a Gen-Z.” “Yeah, sure, kid, go catch your Poké-mans.” It made Peter laugh, so that’s all that really mattered. He might not get all their references and jokes, but he loves spending time with Peter in his world like this.
Later that night, right before Peter wants to hop into his bed, his phone buzzes. He frowns, looking at the screen. It’s a message from Natasha. Peter grins. She’s joining the surprise pizza party for Tony next weekend as well. Awesome. Peter smiles proudly as he types a quick message back. He did it. He got all the Avengers together. Awesome. He presses the send button and frowns when he sees there’s a little notification in his MIT Mailbox as well. They never get any emails there. “Hey Ned, we got a message from the MIT Security Staff?” Peter frowns. He sits down at the edge of the mattress, his fingers moving over the screen swiftly to open it. His eyes scan the text quickly. “Oh, shit,” he mumbles. “Some alien chemical got stolen from the lab?” “What?” Tony takes Peter’s phone out of the boy’s hands. His eyes glide over the letters and not much later, he snorts. “Unidentified, yet most likely harmless. Sure.” Tony rolls his eyes and hands Peter his phone back. “That’s damage control. They need to know who did it but they don’t want people to freak out.” “Yeah-” Ned adds, reading the email on his own phone. “They’re asking for our alibis.” He scratches his head. “Would they believe me if I said I spent the day with Tony Stark?” Tony chuckles. “If you want a selfie, just ask.” Ned’s cheeks flare up and Peter laughs. “Not such a bad idea, though. We should probably take one.” Peter gestures Ned to come in closer. Tony groans, leaning in as well. “Do not post this on the Internet. I’ve got a reputation to uphold.”
Peter steadies the phone in front of their faces, nudging Tony to stop looking so serious. The older man rolls his eyes and breaks into a wide grin as he looks at the screen. Right after he snaps the picture, Ned perks up. “Why don’t we ask Mr. B- our substitute teacher if he knows more? Isn’t he specialized in this field? He did mention knowing a lot about this kind of stuff, didn’t he?” Peter’s eyes widen and he smacks Ned’s chest. “Ouch, dude!” Peter shakes his head furiously, glaring at his best friend. Ned raises his arms defensively and Peter groans, muttering something inaudible. Tony watches the boys carefully, cocking an eyebrow. “Substitute teacher?” “Y-Yeah, it’s nothing, Mr. Stark!” Ned stutters. “I just-” “H-He just means that we have to ask our teacher about that one, uh, project, right Ned?” “Yes! Yes. The… Project!” “You girls keep on bickering, I’m going to make some phone calls to some of my old MIT buddies, see if they know what’s going on.” Tony gets up, fishing his phone out of his pockets and walking to the hallway, leaving both boys at whatever little argument they were having. College kids…
Tony always looks back at his time at MIT with fondness. He took the first chance he got at permanently moving out of his parents’ house. It allowed him a lot of freedom and a chance at at least somewhat of a normal life before he fell into the rabbithole that was Stark Industries. He hasn’t talked to his MIT friends in ages. He shared everything with them at the time. A frat house, a room… Underwear. Tony shudders at the thought but collects himself and looks up Eric’s number in his phone, quietly hoping it’s still the same as back then. Spending the day with Peter and Ned definitely grounded him. It brought him back to his own time at MIT and it was… Nice, honestly. Extraordinarily ordinary.
“Hey Eric! Yes- it’s me- I have a question, did you hear-...”
-
“Surprise!”
Tony stands in the opening of the elevator doors of the Tower. Baffled. Everyone is here. His eyes search for Peter right away, finding the boy in the middle of the living room. Looking quite pleased with himself. There’s a large stack of pizza boxes on the coffee table, all of his friends scattered around it. Bucky and Steve propped up on the couch together, both smiling at Tony widely. Natasha and Bruce lean against the little bar behind the couch. Thor’s walking around, two huge pints of what must be Asgardian beer.
They’re all here. .
“What-...,” he stammers, voice trailing off. He’s literally speechless and watches his boyfriend walk up to him. “Remember how you wanted to celebrate your birthday with just your close friends? Well, it took me some time to get it all organized but, here we are!” Peter smiles proudly, looking at Tony to give him a featherlight kiss on his cheek. “You organized.. A-” his hands wavering in the air, “-pizza party. For me? Fuck, baby… That’s, wow.” Tony has to shake his head slightly, trying to collect his thoughts. No one has ever organized such a thoughtful thing before. “Do you like it?” “Yes. Yes, Peter, this is perfect.” He breaks out into a wide grin. “But please, tell me you didn’t order a pizza with pineapple.” Peter grins sheepishly and Tony groans. “You hurt my Italian pride, baby.” “Hush, I’m not Italian. I’m allowed to sin. I got you the Spicy Chicken one though! Does that make up for it?” “I’ll make you make up for it.” Tony wriggles his eyebrows playfully and Peter snorts, turning to the other guests.
“Alright, alright, that’s enough guys,” Natasha laughs from a distance. “You do that when we’re gone.” Tony doesn’t miss how it makes the boy’s cheeks flush. It’s not embarrassment though. Oh. He grins, smacking Peter’s ass lightly. “I’m sure Peter wouldn’t mind.” “Tony!” Peter exclaims and laughs, but there’s something shimmering in his eyes. Tony grins. He’s had his suspicions for a while. He doesn’t say anything about it. For now. But an idea is definitely starting to form in his head. Natasha grins at the both of them. “I know you two aren’t innocent, but, you’re not that kinky.” Tony smirks, lowering himself into one of the big leather chairs near the coffee table, thinking about all the possible snarky comments he could throw back at her. He didn’t expect soft, shy, innocent Peter to go first. “Ask me again in an hour, and I’ll spill all our dirty secrets, Agent Romanoff,” Peter grins, taking one of the pints from Thor’s hand and gulping it down. Someone wants to get tipsy. Natasha simply smirks. “I will. Mr. Parker.”
A few hours later, when everyone is properly buzzed from the alcohol, Peter’s seated on the floor, chatting about one of his science projects, a half eaten slice of pizza in his hand. The cheese is slowly falling down, but every time it nearly snaps, Peter catches it in his mouth, taking another bite. Bucky is sitting on the couch right behind him, slacked, legs slightly spread so Peter can use the couch as a back rest between Bucky’s knees. Bucky doesn’t know too much about whatever it is Peter’s rambling about, but he could listen to this kid for hours. Peter’s so passionate, and after three huge pints of whatever Thor’s having, the boy’s letting his thoughts run freely. Peter’s mid sentence on something about quantum physics or something like that, when Bruce clears his throat and leans back in his chair. “Hey Nat, think Pete’s got enough alcohol in his system for your interrogation?” Peter looks up startled, cheeks flushing instantly. Uh oh. He giggles. “Kid’s a bad liar, Nat, go easy on him,” Tony grins from the other side of the coffee table, still leaning against the big armrest. “Traitor!” Peter throws at him and Tony shrugs. “You asked for it, baby.”
Peter groans, pouting as he turns to Natasha, stuffing the rest of the pizza slice into his mouth in an attempt to silence himself. But fuck, it tastes good. And he’s nearly choking, so he does start chewing and swallows it all. “Can I have another slice, Bucky, please?” He asks, but Bucky shakes his head with a grin. “First you gotta answer.” He pats Peter on the shoulder with his metal hand and a shiver runs down Peter’s spine. “Alright. What do you want to know? I can tell you lots about Tony’s adorable moans and-” Natasha raises an eyebrow, causing him to shut up. Fuck. He’s probably a little too horny for this to not get inappropriate. Also maybe a little too tipsy. But he’s not sure whether he should stop it. He wants to see where this is headed.
“No- by all means,” Tony chuckles. “Keep going.” “Oh, please!” Sam exclaims. “Are we really doing this right now?” Nat cocks her head and she leans forward in her chair. “We sure are. You can leave if you want.” “Y’all are disgusting. I’m gonna grab another beer.” Sam stands up and walks towards the kitchen. Bucky leans forward in his seat and Peter presses his lips on top of each other, trying not to let the other man’s hot breath in his neck get to him. “Go fetch me one too, would ya?” He asks Sam. “Use your own legs.” The group laughs and Bucky drops himself back again. Peter’s eye twitches when the sound of Bucky’s metal hand running through his hair scratches the inside of his ear. The fact that Tony is staring intently at him, watching his every move, seeing what Bucky is doing to him has him throbbing in his pants. “Alright, I’m gonna get some fresh air. I don’t need this right now-” Stephen Strange gets up from his seat, shaking his head. “Or ever, to be honest.” Wanda gets up as well, Vision immediately following her out of loyalty.
“Was actually planning on getting some of that myself anyway, so we might as well join you.” When everyone who wanted to stay out of this has made their way outside, all eyes turn back to Peter. His heartbeat speeds up again immediately.
“Let’s start with an easy one,” Natasha says with a wide grin. “Who tops? Who bottoms?” Tony scoffs. “Isn’t that a little too easy, Nat?” he quips, cocking an eyebrow. “I intend to be surprised tonight.” Her eyes bore straight through Peter’s and he swallows. This is an easy question. Anyone who would’ve given it the slightest bit of thought knows the answer. “I only topped him once.” A few of the Avengers nod understanding. Tony licks his lips, thinking back to the Italian spa, and decides to give the boy some credit. “For the record, he’s really good at it.” Peter goes beet red and hides his face in the pillow he’s been cradling since the start of this conversation. “I prefer subbing, though,” he says muffled. He can feel a couple heartbeats speed up. Including Bucky’s. Oh, god. “Subbing?!” Clint exclaims. “You’re telling us you two are actually kinky?” Peter raises his head, the people around him are unsure if his cheeks are red from embarrassment or the Asgardian beer he’s been drinking. Maybe both.
“We have a jar with notes in it!” he exclaims, louder than he intended. “Helps us try new things.” Natasha laughs and leans back in her seat. “A jar filled with kinks?” She bites her lip. “Filthy, I like it.” Bucky chuckles behind Peter and the boy shivers. “We call it the Jar of Dirt,” Tony chimes in, rather proud. Bruce purses his lips. “A fitting name.” Tony nods, agreeing. “That’s what we thought.” “So,” Bucky leans forward again, angling himself so he can look at Peter’s side profile. Peter swallows when his senses pick up on the man’s every little move. “What’s the last thing you pulled out of it?” He presses his lips on top of each other, eyes wide. “Oooh, a good one?” Nat takes a sip from her beer. “Go on, doll, what didya grab?” Doll. Peter’s mouth is dry. Bucky called him doll. “Lingerie,” Peter whispers quietly. “Wha- we didn’t catch that.” Bucky grins. Peter knows Bucky heard. He just wants him to say it again and it has Peter stifling a moan. Instead of repeating his answer, he moves the pillow from his lap and toys with the hem of his sweatpants, lowering them far enough for everyone to see the black lacey tulle.
Peter hears Bucky’s breath catch at the sight and he quickly drags the pillow back into his lap before they all see just how hard he is. They probably already saw, though. The outline is hard to miss in those sweats. Peter takes a quick glance at Tony. The hot, dark gaze he’s met with tells him enough. Tony loves this as much as he does, showing off his pretty boy. “Tsk, now,” comes his low, deep voice. “Behave, baby. Can’t show off your ass just like that.” “M’sorry, da-!” Peter stops himself just in time and whimpers. “Y’all being mean!” “What were you gonna call me, baby? Tell them, Pete. Tell them who you belong to.” Tony’s voice is grounding, yet so demanding and authoritative that Peter just can’t help himself. He’s never been good with secrets and Bucky’s fingers trailing slow circles on his back doesn’t help at all. “D-daddy. I’m daddy’s.” “Ohh, look at you…” Bucky’s breath is warm against Peter’s skin. He scoots forward in his seat behind Peter, until his crotch is practically right next to Peter’s head. The man quickly glances at Tony and continues when the boy’s boyfriend sends him a nod of approval. He brings his face to Peter’s ear and Peter gasps when Bucky’s metal hand runs through Peter’s hair, tugging at it slightly. The cold vibranium sends small jolts of electricity through his body. The near-quiet but fast beating of the other man’s heart is evident behind him. He feels it. Every single thud. “You sure are daddy’s pretty boy, aren’t you?”
Peter wants to sob and he nods frantically. Painfully aware of everyone watching the both of them. None of them seem bothered, too buzzed by the alcohol to care. Heck, Peter can practically hear all their fast beating hearts and his eyes roll back as his senses are dialled even further up under the attention. He’s so incredibly turned on. It doesn’t help that Tony’s right there opposite him. Staring at them, licking his lips and seeing how Bucky’s metal fingers are now slightly curled around Peter’s throat. He loves it. Loves the attention. And fuck, most of the people in this room are turned on as well. He can feel it. Feel them. Nat, Steve, Bruce- They’re all disgustingly filthy and it only adds to Peter’s arousal. “Continue, Nat,” Tony’s voice breaking through the silence. She smirks and nods, taking another sip of her beer before continuing her interrogation.
-
Peter gasps when Tony pins him against their bedroom door, the other man’s mouth hot and rough on his own. Claiming him with his passionate kiss. Peter just takes it. He’s so ready. He’s tipsy and he’s horny and he just wants to feel the pleasure sparking throughout his entire body. “Mr-” “Hush, baby.” Tony breathes against his lips, tickling his fragile skin and sending a jolt down his spine. “Think you talked plenty, don’t you? Making daddy so hard.” His hands trail down his boy’s sides. Peter shivers into his touch. Leaning in, following Tony’s lead. He’s so sweet. So submissive already. “Y-You don’t mind? I mean, I. I don-” “Baby, if I would’ve minded I wouldn’t have let it happen. Fuck, loved it baby. Showing everyone how perfect you are. Perfect for me.”
He grabs Peter’s ass tightly, lifting the boy up and carrying him to their bed. He hovers over him, hands creeping underneath Peter’s shirt to be met with the smooth, soft skin that’s him. He growls, already knowing what he’s going to do to Peter. He needs… supplies, though. “Baby, listen to me carefully. I’m going to grab a couple things. I want you to take off those sweatpants and show me that lace, alright?” Peter swallows. He has no clue what Tony’s up to, but it sounds all the more promising like that. He watches Tony move up and away from him, leaning sideways to gather everything he needs from their nightstand. Peter wriggles out of his sweatpants, kicking it off his feet and hearing it drop to the floor. The cold air near-stinging on his legs. Fuck, he’s probably had a little too much of that Asgardian beer. His Spidey sense is all over the place. “Lose the shirt too, Pete,” Tony orders him without even looking. Peter whines and does so, throwing it aside. “What are you gonna do, daddy?” He asks breathlessly. “You’ll see, baby…” Tony mumbles, turning around with a soft, black blindfold resting in his hands. “Or actually, you won’t.” Peter gulps. They’ve never done anything like that before and damn, he’s so ready for it. Tony is eyeing him, gauging his reaction. Peter just nods, lips parting. “Please.”
“Turn around, hands and knees, darling.” Peter scrambles up right away, arching his back on purpose to give Tony a good view of the black lace hugging his ass tightly. “Can’t believe you showed off to all of them, sweetness.” Tony whispers, slowly sliding the blindfold over Peter’s eyes. The boy whimpers when everything goes dark, feeling how Tony’s fingers brush through his hair as he makes his way to tie the ends together. He’s shuddering. A mess already. “Stay down.” “Y-yes…” Peter stays put exactly where he is. Head hanging low, relishing in the helpless feeling that comes with not being able to see anything. His already on-edge senses shooting through the roof. He hears the air moving around Tony’s body as he moves. There’s soft noises in front of his face. Tony’s… Doing something with the headboard? Peter has no clue. He just hears how the man’s fingers occasionally tap against the wood. He just waits. Silently and still. Like a good boy. Gosh, he wants to be good for Tony. He’s aching for it. Aching for the praise.
Suddenly, Tony’s fingers tangle in Peter’s hair, gently tugging his head backwards. Peter’s breath hitches and his hips buck involuntarily. The smooth panties create the slightest bit of friction on his cock and he moans. “You like him. Don’t you?” Tony whispers, barely audible. But Peter hears him loud and clear. “W-what?” “Bucky. You’d let him fuck you, wouldn’t you?” Peter doesn’t know what to say. He can feel the blush creeping all the way down to his shoulders. It is so very obvious what his answer is. They both know it. But he isn’t sure whether he should admit it. “Say it. I want to hear you say it, Peter.” The boy gasps out loud, panting, when Tony drags his head up even further. His other hand creeping down Peter’s spine, leaving a cold trail of lube that has Peter shivering. Without warning, Tony tugs the panties aside and slips one of his fingers into him. He wants to jolt forward, but the grip on his hair is so tight that he’s held back. “Say it.” “I-I would let Bucky fuck me, Tony, I don’t-” Peter doesn’t know what happens next. Tony tugs on his hair, dragging his head forward. Something - a toy - slips into Peter’s mouth and it shuts him up right away. “Then suck him, Peter.”
Tony lets go of the boy’s curls and Peter moans, nearly sobbing in pleasure as he does as asked. Wrapping his lips around the toy and sucking on it. His mind flashes back to the way the man had dragged his metal fingers through his hair, the static between them, the way he’d threatened him by gripping his throat ever so gently. Doll. Tony’s fingers fill him up, stretching him so good, his fingers teasing around his prostate, only dragging across it lightly. He feels so full and Tony’s not even actually fucking him yet. But he knows the man will. “You’re gonna make Bucky come, baby? Make him throb and spill- all over that pretty face of yours?” Peter wants it. So bad. He knows it’s just a fucking toy but he can’t help sucking harder, bobbing his head up and down more passionately. He wonders what Bucky would sound like above him. Telling him how sweet he is for letting his daddy’s friend fuck him like that. The soft, broken moans falling from his lips as he would. He feels how Tony carefully removes his fingers, only for them to dig themselves into Peter’s hips harshly. He moans, hoping they’ll leave pretty dark bruises like last time. They don’t stain his skin for long but he enjoys every single minute of seeing them on his skin. As a sweet reminder of yet another amazing high.
“I’m gonna fuck you, Pete,” Tony growls from behind him, shifting closer. “Don’t you dare stop giving Bucky your full attention. Show him what a pretty slut you are.” With that, Tony pushes himself all the way in, pushing Peter further forward, the toy slipping deeper into his mouth. His muffled cry around it has Tony grunt and fuck into him mercilessly. “You’re gonna let the others watch as well, sweetness? Show them all how you like to be used by us? Hmmm?” Tony’s voice is everywhere and he can feel the way his pleasure starts building deep inside his gut. A tingling fire spreading towards his legs, nearly making them give out. “Gonna show Natasha all the details to our little kinks, uh? Have Bruce remember your filthy moans in case I shackle you to my desk once more?” Peter wants it. He wants it all. “Gonna ride Bucky’s hard cock while I watch you, honey? Would you do that?” Peter nods, as far as the toy in his mouth allows him too. His jaw’s hanging slack as he lets Tony fuck him forward, setting the pace. His lips sliding over the toy as he does so. He can feel some drool dripping down his chin but he honest to god doesn’t care anymore.
His mind is shattered. All he sees is their faces. Hears their supposed groaning in his ears. His imagination flaring all his dirty little fantasies at him without pause. Natasha sitting on his face as he eats her out, his own cock hard but ignored. She wouldn’t make him come. Would make him wait and beg. He sees himself sucking Tony’s cock while kneeling under the sturdy desk, Bruce at the other side of it knowing exactly what’s going on. He sees Steve, standing in front of him - tall and strong and powerful - while he kneels and takes his come all over his chest.
And then, Tony’s hand wraps around his cock, jerking him off so hard, so fast, that all the images just turn into a white flickering light in his mind as he comes. Hips bucking wildly in Tony’s steady grip. “G-Good boy. Fuck. Peter.” Tony leans in, his hand tangling in Peter’s hair once more as he slams into him again and again and again. Peter just takes it. Wants to take it. Wants Tony to fill him up and make him drip like the filthy boy he is. He’s moaning softly, lips still grazing around the toy. He couldn’t let go of it even if he’d want to. “M… St…” He tries to mumble the man’s name. “Ple-zz.” “Yes, baby. I- Fuck. I-” Tony’s loud groan fills the room, ringing in Peter’s ears when the man pushes forward once more. His cock jerking inside his body, making Peter clench around it as he takes it all. “Peter…” Tony collapses on top of him. Shaking. The grip in his hair loosening. The boy’s no longer being pushed forward and he lets the toy slip out, finally, his jaw aching and tight from holding open all that time, but he loves the strain. He drops his head onto the mattress in front of him, panting. Trying to catch his breath.
“Fuck.” Is all he manages to say after a couple of seconds. Tony lets out a breathy chuckle, slowly moving both their bodies down onto their sides and hugging Peter from behind tightly. His arms are warm and secure; Peter nestles closer. “Fuck indeed, baby.” Tony’s hands move up to undo the blindfold and Peter squeezes his eyes shut to keep the too bright light out of his system for just a bit longer. The other man grabs the blankets, pulling them up over their still slightly trembling bodies. “Thank you, Mr. Stark.” “Shhh, baby. I enjoyed it just as much.” “R-Really?” “Really.” He plays with the boy’s curls for a bit. “You know I don’t like to share, but fuck, Pete, you should’ve seen the hungry look on everyone’s faces tonight. On Bucky’s face. He knew damn well you’re mine and mine alone and I’d make him know it if he were actually here right now.” Peter smiles and makes himself smaller, keeping his eyes closed. “M-yours, daddy,” he mumbles. “My sweet baby,” Tony sighs, pressing a kiss on Peter’s hair. “I love you.”
--- More: Chapter 13 Masterpost
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