#nded when he came n like..... hm....... horny. hes ot evn supposed 2 b my bf anymore but uhhh Im Weak n were back 2gether evn tho we nvr rll
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#me: drunk & eating doritos & thinking abt how long its been since mybf fucked me#the last time was in My Own Bed ummmm like 3 weeks ago probably and we had 2 b real quiet bc my roomates right but i remember the way he sou#nded when he came n like..... hm....... horny. hes ot evn supposed 2 b my bf anymore but uhhh Im Weak n were back 2gether evn tho we nvr rll#y... brok up.. bc we talked the entire timelmfao but uhhh im Weak n apparently like. living out the hs drama relationships i nvr had bc i dr#opped out basically at 14 lol like. hm. ok. i keep thinkingabt.#everything ig.#hm. hm. wanna b dicked dow nbut hes too Responsible n Adult 2 do it n imjust. like. fuck ur job ok come give me dick or buy me an uber 2 ur#place eitehr way. i just waann feel. close. to someone. n i nvr evr do n like. 'i wanna make u smile all the time' ok then btch Do It its no#t hard!!!! but w/e w/e w/e w/e lol in. 4 months? i will b better. can leave again. find st new. i wana Chage i thought he hair wld do it but#uhhhh typical bpd fix isnt working so. kms? dribkn constatly? get mystupid fuckig dealer 2 reply n sell me molly or mb coke again?#hm. decision!!#move out of state? disappear? kms???? i camerlly close abt a week ago like wrote out suicide note n letter 2 everybody but uhhhhh i started#writing 2 Him n like. couldnt do it! evn prayed 2 like..go thru w it// but cldnt do it 2 him.. dunno why. just pathetic ig#i wish i had ppl 2 like. have fu nw/ that r close enough2 do it enough 2 keep me going. but uhh i dont so. living 4 Him n my dog lol.its ok#my hands n feet have started goig umb ny time im drunk n im getting blurry vision a lot again hopefully ill just..drop dead of diabetic comp#lictions or st. leave me where i wana b (dead) w/o all the guilt of ding it myslf. donthave 2 explain 2 him ive been lying and lying and lyi#ng and lying lol :') dont hve 2 worry abt ruining my potential bc uhhhh Not My Fault the diabetes killed me lol :') ixk#sometimesi dont wanna die. i wana see if i can get better. do something. b someone. most of the time tho im just tieredof trying. of being.#idk. eiter way ig. right?#mbi can b better n Good n useful n wrothwile. maybe right
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