#nd i dont know anyone else witj similar feelings while also knowing im not alone in this
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I Flipflop so much on it but man. I really do want top surgery
#elias howls#its. i dont know. i view it same as i viewed ever starting hrt just not a thing I'll ever get to experience#and it doesnt help my brain is still living in the sense of urgency i made in like 5th grade at age 9 or whatever because i genuinely didnt#see myself naking it past that age so my brains constantly screaming times running out when i know it isnt and its just. weird. and tiring a#nd i dont know anyone else witj similar feelings while also knowing im not alone in this#like. nothing bad will happen if im 30 and get top surgery but i. i want jt done now. in a year. in two. while im in my 20s and young and ca#n still do stuff
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