#navarre x reader
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luvlybunnie · 21 days ago
Note
You stalking Navarre and is extremely obsessed and making physical moves on him makes him so mad he has to teach you a lesson đŸ˜€
a / n : reader has enticed him with her weird and off putting-ness . (um, like side note reader kinda sexually harasses him in front of his friends , brief sa mention , spit kink, brief anal mention... I STILL BARELY LIKE IT LEAVE ME BE . . .😭)
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stalking, carving, pictures, drooling.
it's a cycle for you. your eyes stuck on the long black hair from that magnificent man. navarre. even his name is ethereal.
navarre. you giggle, eyes peering at the photos of him on your walls— hanging from lines on the ceiling, adorned with red lights to remind yourself of his clothes.
delusional? you don't know the meaning of that word. navarre's never even bothered to look your way when you're beside him, your hands grazing his shoulders only for him to ignore it and continue being the edgelord you love him for.
today was different, he felt off— dangerous.
it made you horny.
maybe it was the flicker in his eyes that screamed 'i killed an army of men' or maybe it was the splatters of blood on his skin that you knew wasn't his because he had no wounds.
you ran up to him nonetheless, silent eyes tracking your body as you did. you almost second guessed yourself.
almost.
"hi, navarre!"
no response, usual.
you place your palms flat against his chest, a small squeeze before your back heats in excitement— "it's sooo~oo good to see you." you giggle, sliding your hand down his abdomen.
his eyes follow in silence, your fingertips grazing his pants— "why aren't you saying anything?" you wonder out loud, the sounds of people mumbling and whispering behind you dull out when he takes a sharp inhale.
he's hesitant.
you stuff your hand in his pants, and you're barely able to touch his cock before your hand is snatched upwards— his hand around your throat and you're gasping for air. you did sexually assault him.
" you are insufferable. "
you can manage anything out but a choke as he drags you to your room, mumbling about how today was an awful day, and he has so much adrenaline to release. your brain is hazy from the lack of air— eyes blurring before your released upon your own cushioning of a mattress.
you see him lazily look around, "weird girl." he merely says, no emotion as usual.
"on your hands on knees, face toward me, mouth open, back arched."
it's demanding, but you're a good girl so you listen.
he pushes two fingers into your mouth, and you gag, loud.
"spit." he growls out, and you spit nearly forcing yourself into a coughing fit as he thrusts his fingers into your mouth thrice before removing them— he rubs his spit covered hand over your face and into your hair.
he looks down at you, his other hand rising to wipe the blood from his cheek— "take my cock out, you fucking whore."
you scramble to release the red demon's cock, his head tilted to the side as if to inspect his prey— "bet you're soaked right now. i should abuse your little pussy. use your cunt for my own pleasure— considering how you treat me." you should feel bad— the amount of times you've grazed his cock in public, or snuck into his room and nuzzled into his blankets— but you don't, and he knows that.
his cock is swollen, hungry, leaking thick beads of precum and it strikes a sense of fear in you.
"open your mouth."
your mouth falls open.
"wider."
"i- i can, i can't—"
"you fucking will."
he groans and hooks his finger on your lower row of teeth, tugging down your jaw and stuffing his dick into your mouth— tears spill from your eyes as you gag, choking on the bulbous tip of his cock as he bullies— abuses your throat.
"yeah. stupid fucking slut is so lost without me. doesn't know how to function without her fucking god."
perhaps it's a bit sacrilegious to utter gods name as he partakes in such a devilish act.
"I'll fuck your ass, then your pussy next. it's what i fucking deserve."
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a / n : hi sorry im okay . đŸ€—đŸ€—
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unholly-reader · 30 days ago
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Shadowcloacked // Chapter 1
Hello lovely people!
May i introduce my newest baby - chapter 1 of "Shadowcloaked"! As I have mentioned previosuly, thi story will revolve around Xaden's new love story with our new OC - Drina.
Fair warning - the updates might be slow, but the whole concept of it is written up until the end of the first book (yes, I'm considering making it a series), but this is the very beginning.
I do hope you enjoy it and as always - be merciful, english is not my first language and this is my first ever book written in english. Other than that I have no other comments.
For now enjoy the beginning of Drina and Xaden's story! More will come running to you soon!
Xoxo
(Un)Holly
*************************************************************
The entire ride to Riorson House was a frenzy of uncertainty and mixed feelings about meeting almost the royalty of all Tyrrendor. Truth be told Drina wasn’t exactly a stranger to manners and etiquette since her father was a highborn lord in his own right, but it didn’t change the fact that she was equally excited and terrified to get to know the highest ranking members of the Tyrroshi society. Barely over ten years old Drina was incredibly intuitive and smart for a girl of her age and the pride an joy of her parents. Losing her mother to a terrible sickness at the age of six and learning to live with her father as her only family was tough on the little lady of Sefrisgen, but she braved through it quite well. She was not alone in her struggles, that’s for certain. Her father, Lord Fenrys Vartell of Sefrisgen, was considered a cold and ruthless man but for his only daughter the was ready to burn the whole world around him just to make sure she’s happy and safe. After his wife, the late Lady Miriam Vartell, died so suddenly, he took it upon himself to raise their child to the best of his ability. He had no clue about raising little girls but he taught her everything he knew. He taught her how to read and understand the knowledge laced between the lines. He taught her how to handle daggers and swords. He taught her ancient languages so that she could understand more than the common tongue. He also taught her the importance of family, the strength of the bonds made with love, and not with pretenses.
- You need to remember, my little shadow. Family is everything. Whatever may happen along they way, you will always have your father’s arms to run back to. You’re the blood of my blood, Alexandrina Vartell. You’re the best of me and the best of your mother. You always have been.
Little Drina didn’t really understand her father’s words then, but she knew she would eventually. She was sometimes too smart and too curious for her own good, always pushing through to distinguish truth from deceit. Now that she was on her way to meet the most important person in all of Tyrrendor she had her questions already lined up in her little head, ready to attack the Duke with all her ten years old might. Watching the mountains and rocky landscapes outside the window of their carriage she looked amazed at the view. For an outside spectator the lands surrounding Aretia were nothing special. Just some mountain chains and little to no grass, nothing really eye catching or particular enough to take a moment to admire. But for a little girl learning everything there was to learn about Tyrrish history, culture and the legends surrounding the Aretian mountains riding through these terrains was more magical than any wyvern legend ever heard.
- How big is Riorson House, father? I read in the chronicles that the castle is monumental, but they never wrote how big exactly. I wonder

- Gods be good, Drina - lord Fenrys laughed with a wide grin on his lips, turning to face his only daughter sitting next to him - Be patient. We will be arriving shortly and you can see for yourself, little shadow.
- But I need to know, father. It’s really important.
- And why is that?
- Because Duke Riorson needs to know I’m really smart. I want to impress him with how much I know about his home and about Tyrrendor history. And Aretia is Tyrrendor’s history so I really need to know.
Fenrys smiled once again, gently cupping Drina’s little face in his plam. Her pale skin looked like moonstone against his tan hand, almost as if she was sparkling from within. If it wasn’t for the colors the undeniable similarity of their faces some people might wonder if they were even related. Lord Fenrys’s features were rough, almost like they were cut in stone. Sharp jawline, a straight nose and bushy chocolate eyebrows surround his deep blue eyes were truly complimenting his tawny skin and dark brown hair cut short enough to fall behind his ear only a little. Looking into Drina’s big sapphire-like eyes he was alway reminded of his beloved Miriam. Not only did his daughter share her mother’s wit and kindness, but also her looks. Silky dark hair falling in soft waves on her back and the cupid-like lips curling into a gentle smile with every occasion were her father’s favorite features she had inherited from the beautiful Lady Miriam Vartell. A true gift from the heavens.
- I’m certain that the Duke will be as impressed as he can be when he meets you, my little shadow - Fenrys replied, hugging Drina to his side - There is no other way.
- How can you know that, father? - the girl asked with curious eyes nearly drilling holes in her father’s chin.
- Because I have already told him how special you are. Little Drina’s face lit up momentarily as she jumped her father’s side, clutching into his dark leather jacket crested on the arm with traditional Tyrroshi runes. She was overjoyed.
- Oh, thank you, father! Thank you so much! I will not let you down, I promise. I swear I will live up to everything you told the Duke about me. I will be polite and kind and respectful and

- You will be everything he could ever imagine and more, my sweet - Fenrys replied, cutting Drina mid sentence.
She didn’t mind at all. Her father was her greatest protector and she knew he would never do wrong by her. So she just smiled playfully and turned around to admire the landscapes leading to Aretia’s most magnanimous building. Riorson House.
*****
It was known far and wide that the Riorson family was the wealthiest and most noble in all of Tyrrendor. Even the riches that the Earl of Lewellen prided himself on could not reach the bottom of Riorsons fortune. What most people didn't know was that the Duke of Tyrrendor was never a greedy man and first and foremost his duty, and consequently his fortune, was to serve his people. Being of noble birth combined with such riches in some people’s mind should have made him a prideful and imperious man, but instead he chose the fate of his subject before everything else.
There were rare occasions on which the Duke prioritized anything over his people and those were the moments he spent raising his only son. Little Xaden Riorson was a spitting image of his father and quickly he was becoming his shadow, following His Grace wherever he went. The only thing the young duke inherited from his mother were his eyes. Almost black, onyx one would say, speckled with dozens of tine golden flecks. He was a curious child from a very young age but didn’t act on his instincts right up. Growing up he had begun his strategy training even before his father was made aware of that fact. Using his size to his advantage, little Xaden used to sneak in on his father’s meeting with his advisors and listened in, remembering every detail he thought important at the time, such as where the Poromish soldiers placed their weapons or how to charm a lady in five steps or less. Really the most important issues regarding a young noble’s upbringing.
When he heard about Lord Vartell’s arrival, he wondered why was he bringing his daughter with him. It wasn’t by any means the first time that he had visited his father as they were close companions, but more importantly, Lord Fenrys was chief advisor to the Duke in his own right. It was known far and wide that his father, Lord of Sefrisgen and general Alister Tavis were the most deadly trio in the province. The sheer combination of Fen’s power, Alister’s wit and Fenrys’s shrewdness was so powerful that even general Melgren would come to tremble before them. What was interesting about this particular visit was the fact that Lord Fenrys was rumored to be staying for a few months, or maybe even permanently. That part was entirely possible for Xaden to unravel during on elf their meetings he would most definitely be listening on, but the daughter still intrigued him. It wasn’t like he had never seen a girl before, but he had never really met a girl of noble birth. Seeing as Lord Fenrys was the second most powerful man in all of Tyrrendor, Alexandrina was his heir in every meaning of this word. The Duke’s son was curious who would be sharing his home for the next few months, since beside Garrick, his company was limited to tutors, teachers and guards surrounding Riorson House inside and out.
The sun was almost setting behind the highest mountain peaks when the heralds announced the arrival of their guests. Fen chose to welcome his friend in person, seeing as his advice and companionship over the years placed Fenrys little higher in his ranks than any second tier advisor. Both he and Xaden stood tall at the gates to the residence, standing equally tall and proud in dark blue tunics and matching pants. The Duke glanced at his son, smirking slightly as he saw little Xaden’s combed hair and stern face.
Sometimes he forgot just how much his son reminded him of himself from his youngest years. He had his jet black hair and straight nose with tawny skin so nicely contrasting the gold in the boy’s eyes. In terms of looks nobody could ever deny that he was the Duke’s son, so there was only a question of the boy personality and wits.
When the carriage rode into the square, it was almost dusk. The light of the setting sun seemingly lit up the windows of Riorson House, making it look almost magical. The old castle looks almost idyllic in this light. Although on the outside it didn’t look as majestic as King Tauiri’s palace, it had its beauty hidden between the brick walls, dark gray rooftops and small yet vibrant gardens in the back. Once you walked through the gate separating the castle from the town and smallfolk, it was almost like entering a different dimension of the Aretian aristocracy. Four majestic towers standing at 60 feet connected by solid walls formed a kind of border of the residence, enclosing the perfectly preserved architecture of old Tyrrendor in the shape of a pentagon. As they rode in, Drina marvelled at the buidling with the excitement of a five years old child admiring a new shiny toy. Her attention was captured by the people standing in front of the stairs leading up to the main door of the residence, specifically the child standing next to who she believed was the Duke.
- Father, who is that boy?
- That's Xaden. He's the Duke's only son and heir to his throne.
- Is he fun to play with, father? - Drina asked curiously as they slowly reached their destination.
- You're gonna have to find out on your own, my little shadow - Fenrys replied with a smile, caressing his daugher's back - Now come, Alexandrina. It's time for you to meet the Duke.
When the carriage stopped in its tracks, Lord Fenrys opened the door and carefully stepped outside, immediately helping his daughter follow his steps. Drina gracefully jumped from the little steps of the carriage, standing tall next to her father. Fen smiled warmly as he made eye contact with his old friend. The guests stepped further, stopping barely five feet before their gracious hosts. Fenrys smirked, bowing before his Duke and Drina curtsied as a properly raised young lady should, gazing discreetly at the boy standing in front of her.
- Greetings, Your Grace. Your invitation is an honour for our family. We thank you for welcoming us to your home - Fenrys said graciously, glancing at Fen's face with a barely hidden smile dancing on his lips.
A moment of silence fell on the four of them as both men looked at each other with a sense of seriousness. But that didn't last long. Momentarily, both the Duke and the Lord of Sefrisgen laughed out loudly, embraicng each other in a bear like hug.
- For the love of Gods, Fenrys. How many times must I tell you to abandon this official greeting bullshit? - Fen asked, amused by his friend's performance.
- At least one more time, Your Grace - Fenrys replied mockingly, clapping his hand on the Duke's back - But since we're over the formalities, there's someone very special I want you to meet.
Both men stepped back and the Duke's attention focused on the little girl standing beside his friend. He smiled gently, glancing at her pretty face and curious eyes.
- Fen, this is my daughter, Drina.
- Father! You're supposed to use full names when introducing anybody to the Duke - the girl chided her father, curtsying once again, while keeping eye contact with Fen - My name is Alexandrina Verona Vartell, Your Grace. It's an honour to make your acquiantance.
Fen smirked under his nose but nevertheless did his best to keep a straight face looking at the very serious ten year old girl greeting him in accordance with all the etiquette rules he was too busy to abide by.
- The pleasure is all mine, Lady Vartell - Fen replied politely, bowing his head a little - Although I hope you won't mind if I call you Drina, like your father.
- Of course not, Your Grace.
- Wonderful. This is my son, Xaden. I'm sure the two of you will become great friends - Fen presented his boy with his left arm, gently pushing the little boy to step forward.
As Xaden took three steps towards Drina and their eyes first met, something clicked in their little heads. Bright blue, almost sapphire eyes of Fenrys's daughter met the gold-speckled onyx orbs of the future Duke of Tyrrendor. Neither of them knew the reason why or what for, but subconsciously they both realised they knew one another. Drina knew that there was a place in time where she held Xaden's hand and Xaden knew there was a time he learned every navy-coloured spot in her bright blue eyes.
You're all that I needed and more then I deserved.
A single sentence struck in the children's mind like an old melody. Both unaware the other heard the same thing they chose to ignore it and live in the moment present. Little Xaden put his hand forward, bowing his head slightly and Drina graciously put her palm in his, smiling kindly at the dark haired boy.
- I'm Drina. Pleasure to meet you.
- I'm Xaden and the pleasure is all mine.
And so the Gods placed their bets. Would the Onyx boy break the Sapphire girl? Or would they save each other in a war against darkness and deceit?
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lowytavis · 9 days ago
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the future king and his secret - Aaric Graycastle
Introduction:
Formal gatherings, endless ceremonies, and unbearably long speeches—there is nothing I despise more. 
Yet, ever since my father, King Tauri, passed away—and with my infuriating brother Halden meeting his own tragic end—the burden of the crown has fallen on me. 
"Camlaen Tauri," came the measured voice of Sir Higgins, my ever-dutiful bodyguard. He hesitated before correcting himself, "King Camlaen Tauri." 
His disapproving gaze lingered as I sighed. "Just call me Aaric." "If only it were that simple," he replied, clearing his throat. "I cannot simply change your birth name. However, if it pleases you, I could address you as Aaric Tauri—at least in private." 
Acceptable, but far from ideal. I merely offered him a curt nod in response. 
"Your Majesty, now that you have assumed your royal duties, it is time to arrange your betrothal. You have come of age, and the kingdom needs a queen." 
"Not yet, Higgins. But thank you," I muttered. "I have more pressing matters to attend to." 
No one could ever truly fulfill that role. No one but her. 
"These were your father's final instructions before his passing," Higgins reminded me, though his words were truly meant for my brother. "May Malek watch over them both." 
Blah, blah, blah. If there's one thing I cannot abide, it's the ceaseless prattle of Higgins, the ever-irritating chambermaid Lilian Weysler, or the insufferable kitchen matron, Madame Doublin. 
"I will arrange a banquet, King Tauri," Higgins continued. "The finest noble families will present themselves. If you wish to extend invitations beyond the aristocracy, you may provide Mademoiselle Weysler with a list. However, I strongly urge discretion—especially when considering the presence of the Tyrrish. Part 1:
—And Sloane Mairi, fiancĂ©e of Dain Aetos," I finished, letting Lilian complete the list. 
"My, my. That is quite the guest list," she remarked, glancing up at me. "Many of them are marked ones. Are you certain?" 
"Read it aloud, Lilian," I instructed. "I want to ensure that everyone important to me is invited. Perhaps they'll make the day a little more bearable." 
"Very well, Your Majesty. As requested." She cleared her throat. 
"Duke and Duchess Riorson. Sir Ridoc Gamlyn. Sir Sawyer and Lady Jesinia Henrick. Sir Bodhi Durran. Sir Garrick Tavis. Lady Imogen Cardulo. Sir Drake and Lady Catriona Cordella. Lady (Y/N) Siver. Sir Dain Aetos and Lady Sloane Mairi." 
"Correct. Pass this on to Higgins. My decision is final." I leaned back in my chair. "Prepare the large area behind the castle for the dragons and gryphons to land. Set up the guest rooms. Place the Duke of Tyrrendor and his wife near my chambers—along with Lady Siver. No discussions." 
As soon as Lilian left the room, I let out a heavy sigh, slumping in my seat. Was it really wise to invite the one person I had loved in secret—to a gathering where I was expected to choose a fiancĂ©e? Worse still... she had no idea how I felt. --- 
**Later** 
"Aaric! It's been forever!" I heard her voice before I saw her—before she came running toward me. "I've missed you so much, little one!" she laughed. 
Little one. 
My childhood nickname. Though now, I towered over her by a good thirty-five centimeters. 
"Hey, (Y/N)," was all I managed. I was so fucking nervous. We had written to each other regularly, but only by letter. She lived outside the castle walls, in a poorer district. I never saw her as poor, but she and her father, Randwyn, couldn't afford a place within the city large enough for their small bakery. As a child, I had loved our trips into town, when Higgins would take me to visit the Sivers' shop. We'd always buy my family's favorite pastries. 
"Don't be so shy now," she teased, her laughter like music I had longed to hear. She threw herself at me, pressing against my chest with all her strength. I held her even closer. "You're the little one now," I grinned, looking down at her. Her beautiful eyes sparkled in the sunlight. 
"I'll show you your room, (Y/N)." 
"No need, King," Higgins interjected, waddling toward us with Lilian in tow. "Lilian will take care of that." 
"No," I insisted. "I have things to discuss with my old friend." 
Before Higgins could argue, I grabbed (Y/N) and ushered her toward her room. The moment I opened the door, she gasped, her face lighting up with pure joy. "Oh, fucking hell! I've never had a bed this big—let alone a whole room of this size to myself!" 
She spun in place, taking it all in. Then, suddenly, she turned back to me, reaching into her bag. 
"Oh, almost forgot! Here!" She handed me a small box. 
"Please tell me there's Lohnin in there," I practically begged, already imagining the sweet pastry melting on my tongue. "Only the best for the best," she grinned. 
So, I did what any respectable king would do—I shoved the entire Lohnin into my mouth at once.
 "You're supposed to enjoy it, little one!" she laughed. "Slow down before you choke to death! You haven't even secured an heir yet!" She was joking, but there was something in her eyes—something warm. "I have so much to tell you, Aaric!" 
And just like that, it felt like childhood again. 
She pulled her hair into a messy bun and changed into her nightgown. 
I lay beside her on the pillow, and she pulled the blanket up to her chin. "Do you ever miss being a child?" she asked softly, turning toward me. 
We were so close. Too close. My breath hitched. 
"Of course," I murmured. "Life was simpler then. And... I wish there hadn't been this distance between us. I missed you, (Y/N)." 
She smiled and curled up against me. We had done this countless times before. Only now, I wasn't a boy anymore. And for the first time, I was terrified.
------------------------the next day----------------------
I don't think I've ever slept so well. 
As I slowly rolled over, the reason became immediately clear—I had fallen asleep in (Y/N)'s bed. 
"Well, look who's finally awake," she grinned, shifting in my arms and pressing herself gently against me. 
"Good morning, (Y/N)," I murmured, unable to stop my own smile. 
"Sorry, I must have dozed off."
 "Oh, I noticed," she laughed. "I was pouring my heart out, telling you all about my life, and suddenly—snoring. Right in my ear."
 "Hey, that wasn't planned! And I don't snore," I protested, pouting. (Y/N) just arched an eyebrow, and within seconds, we were both laughing uncontrollably.
---------------later-----------
"I'm so glad you all made it here!" I called out as my friends—my *real* friends, the only guests I had been allowed to invite myself—finally arrived. 
"Thank you for the *royal* invitation, Your Majesty," Xaden quipped with mock formality, earning a sharp punch to the shoulder from Violet. 
"Good to see you again, Aaric," Violet said, before glancing around the grand hall. Her expression twisted in barely concealed disgust. "It's been a while since I was here." 
Ridoc smirked. "What, thinking about Halden's lips again?" The crack landed him a solid punch from Xaden. Around us, everyone tried (and failed) to stifle their laughter. The thought of Violet and Halden—priceless. 
Almost as priceless as the look on Xaden's face. 
"May I introduce (Y/N)?" I announced, pushing her forward with a grin. 
"Childhood best friend, up for absolutely any nonsense."
"Hi, nice to meet you all," she said formally—shyly even—and then, to my absolute horror, she bowed. 
"(Y/N), you don't have to bow," I groaned. "Besides, give Ridoc ten seconds, and he'll prove to you that just because you weren't raised in the castle doesn't make you any less refined or valuable." 
And right on cue— "Well, cutie," Ridoc purred, stepping far too close to (Y/N) with the world's ugliest grin. "Why don't you show me where you sleep? Y'know... so I know where to go later?"
 "RIDOC!" Violet and Sloane shrieked in unison, both slapping him so hard on the shoulder he actually yelped. 
"Okay, okay! Gods, if you lot keep hitting me, my whole arm's going to bruise!" he whined. 
Idiots. 
My idiots. 
How I had missed them. 
-----------later-----------
"Ladies and gentlemen, King Camlaen Tauri!" Higgins' grating voice rang out through the heavy stone doors as the guards at my sides pushed them open. 
How I *hated* being the center of attention. I always had. I preferred working in the shadows—smarter than any Tauri before me, though I'd never say that out loud. As I strode into the grand hall, my eyes instinctively searched the crowd. 
And then—I found her.
(Y/N).
 Her hair was woven into an elegant braid, soft tendrils framing her face. Her cheeks were faintly flushed, and that deep blue gown hugged her form far too perfectly. She was the most beautiful person in the world. And standing next to her? Fucking Gamlyn.
I forced my attention back to the proceedings. 
"Your Highness, we will now begin the presentation of the candidates," Higgins droned on. 
"Lady Lader," he announced. Beautiful, but far too old. 
"Princess Doherty." Her crooked smile already pissed me off. 
"Lady Melin and Lady Sassy Cortl." Twins. Absolutely not. "Lady Pommel." But I had stopped listening. 
Because across the hall, Ridoc was definitely standing too close to (Y/N). 
"Sir Gamlyn!" I called out, louder than intended. The hall fell silent, Higgins shifting uneasily beside me. 
"Your Highness," he muttered under his breath, "please don't do anything rash." 
Too fucking late. 
I already knew *exactly* what the fuck I had to do. 
"Sir Gamlyn," I continued, keeping my voice measured, "would you care to introduce me to your escort?" 
Silence. 
All eyes turned to Ridoc and (Y/N) as they hesitantly approached the throne. 
Ridoc opened his mouth, hesitated—because of course, he didn't even know her name. 
Before he could embarrass himself further, (Y/N) stepped forward. 
"Lady Siver," she said smoothly, grinning up at me. 
"A pleasure to meet you," I replied, taking her hand—and pressing a slow, deliberate kiss to her knuckles. 
She laughed, and I felt the collective gasp ripple through the hall. The nobility looked absolutely scandalized. I had undoubtedly made more enemies than friends tonight. And I didn't care one bit.
------------later----------
The music started, and nobles spilled onto the dance floor. I turned to (Y/N). 
"Would you care to dance?" I asked, offering my hand. 
"Oh?" she teased, a knowing smile playing at her lips. "You have time for someone like me, Your Highness? Ridoc already asked me as an alternative, you know." 
And that, my dear, was EXACTLY what I COULD NOT allow. 
PART 2 UPLOADED!
I took some time and completely remodeled and rewrote the first part of this fanfiction. I hope you like the updated version as much as I do. Warnings for future chapters: mention of rape, forced marriage, sex and violence
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nomie-11 · 3 months ago
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Xaden Riorson x Reader - The Same as Seven Years Ago
masterlist!
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Xaden Riorson was thirteen when he fell in love with Y/n L/n. 
She was the daughter of one of his father’s friends—one of the other great houses of Tyrrendor. And while he, Garrick, and Bodhi would run around swinging wooden swords at each other, she would sit at the piano in the great hall and play.  
Xaden sat beside her, his wooden sword clutched in his hands as though it might lend him courage. She didn’t look at him, her gaze fixed on the horizon where the sun bled into the snow-peaked mountains, a riot of orange and pink hues that reminded him of the way her laughter sounded: soft, warm, and utterly consuming. 
“You’re always watching the sunset,” he muttered, the words tumbling out before he could stop them. 
Y/n glanced at him, her head tilted slightly, an innocent smile curving her lips. “And you’re always swinging that sword around like you’re going to save the world with it.” 
His cheeks flushed, and he looked down, running a thumb over the worn wood of the hilt. “Maybe I will.” 
Her laugh was quiet, almost teasing, but there was a softness in her eyes when she spoke. “I hope you do, Xaden.” 
They sat in silence after that, the air humming with words he didn’t know how to voice. He wanted to tell her how he noticed the way her eyes lit up when she played, how her melodies stayed with him long after the notes faded. But he was thirteen, and she was Y/n—beautiful, untouchable, and always just a little out of reach. 
————————————
Xaden Riorson was seventeen when the fall of his father’s rebellion ripped Y/n L/n away from him.
The day Aretia burned, Xaden felt like the ground beneath his feet shattered. 
It started with smoke on the horizon, a dark smudge against the crisp blue of the morning sky. Xaden, Garrick, and Bodhi were sparring in the courtyard, their now metal swords clashing with the ring of metal. Y/n was still seated at the piano, her fingers coaxing a gentle melody from the keys as Navarre’s dragon riders soared overhead. She was the picture of calm amidst their chaos, her music softening the harsh clang of their practice. 
And then the bells rang. 
The sound was sharp, urgent, cutting through the air like a blade. The boys froze, their swords hanging mid-swing, and the music stopped. Xaden looked at her, his heart stuttering at the fear that flared in her eyes.  
“Go inside,” Her father barked as he stormed through the courtyard and to the open doors that kept her in Xaden’s view. The rebellion was under siege, and it didn’t take long for the realization to settle in—Aretia was burning to the ground. Tyrrendor had fallen. 
The grip on his blade tightened as he grabbed Y/n’s hand, their fingers tangling as he pulled her away from the piano, away from the growing chaos. “Stay with me,” he said, his voice more commanding than he felt. 
She squeezed his hand, her gaze steady despite the panic rising around them. “Always.” 
But the world had other plans. 
She was torn from his protective embrace as they watched the execution of their parents, and put in a foster home far away from him. 
He watched as she cried silent tears, before being dragged away to some strangers home across the continent, his grip on her hand slipping as she was dragged away from him and the burning remnants of their parent’s bodies. 
————————————————-
Xaden Riorson was twenty when he saw Y/n L/n again, and the sight of her almost stopped his heart. 
The years apart had been unkind to them both, though in different ways. Xaden had hardened, the boy who once dreamt of saving the world and creating the one he dreamed of was now tempered by grief, rage, and survival. Y/n
 she had changed too, but not in the ways he’d expected. 
She was stronger, sharper, like the steel of a blade that had been reforged in fire. The soft warmth and innocence in her eyes that had once matched the sunset now glowed with determination, her posture straight and defiant in the face of the brutal challenges of Basgiath. she was a survivor—just like him. But that fire in her eyes made him hesitate. 
He didn’t know this version of her. He didn’t know if she still needed his protective hand clamped around hers. 
Standing in the shadows near the edge of the courtyard, he watched as she leaped off of the parapet, her landing poised and graceful as if she was just playing the piano in the great hall once more. He resisted the pull to approach her. His heart hammered against his ribs at the sight of her, alive and whole. He’d imagined this moment a thousand times, dreamt of what he’d say if he ever saw her again. But now that she was here, a chasm of guilt and hesitation kept him rooted in place. 
She wasn’t the girl he’d lost. And he wasn’t the boy she’d known. 
But then she turned. 
Her now sharp gaze scanned the courtrayed, cutting through the noise and chaos as though she could feel his presence. And when her eyes landed on him, everything else faded. For a heartbeat, neither of them moved. 
And then she started towards him, pushing her way through the crowd, and he braced himself to be yelled at, scolded for his stupid decision to have all of the rebellion kids put in this hell of a quadrant. 
But she didn’t yell. She didn’t scold him. 
When Y/n reached him, her steps slowed, and for a moment, neither of them spoke. The years hung heavily between them, filled with all the unsaid words, broken promises, and memories of what had been ripped away. Her lips parted as if she might speak, but instead, she just stared at him, her chest rising and falling in rhythm with the silence. 
“You’re alive,” she finally whispered, her voice barely audible over the clamor of the courtyard. There was no anger there, only disbelief and a brief hint of something else he couldn’t quite name. Relief? Hope?
Xaden’s throat felt tight, the weight of every regret and mistake pressing down on him. “So are you,” he murmured, his voice rough. 
Her gaze softened for just a second, and in that moment, he saw her—not the hardened survivor, not the girl forged in fire, but the Y/n he’d fallen in love with all those years ago. The girl who’d played the piano while he dreamed of saving the world with a wooden sword. 
For all the ways they’d changed, for all the scars they bore, they were still those thirteen year-olds at heart. She was still the girl who was beautiful, untouchable, and always just a little out of reach. And he? He was still the boy who would walk through flames and hurricanes to protect her, even if it meant standing in the shadows while she forged ahead. 
“Why didn’t you–” she began, but her voice faltered, and her hands clenched into fists at her sides. 
He knew what she was asking. Why didn;t you stop it? Why didn’t you save me? Why didn’t you do anything? 
“I tried,” he said, his voice low, his words a confession he’d carried for years. “I tried, Y/n. I swear I did.”
Her jaw tightened, but she didn’t look away. Her eyes searched his, as though trying to find the boy she once knew beneath the layers of the man he’d become. And maybe she did, because her shoulders eased ever so slightly, and the sharpness in her expression softened. 
“Xaden,” she whispered, and the sound of his name on her lips was like arriving home. 
He took a cautious step closer, and then another, until there was barely a breath between them. “I’m still the boy who wanted to save the world,” he said, as if trying to convince himself that it was true. “And you’re still the girl who made me believe it was worth saving.” 
Her lips parted, her breath catching, and for the first time in years, the space between them didn’t feel so insurmountable. 
“We’re not those kids anymore,” she said softly, but there was no bitterness in her voice. 
“No,” he agreed, his gaze steady on hers. “We’re not. But I’m still here. And so are you.” 
For a moment, the world around them faded once more, leaving only the two of them—the boy with the wooden sword and the girl at the piano, standing on the edge of something they didn’t yet have words for. Something that had always been there, even when the world tried to tear it apart. 
-------
If you enjoyed this one shot, please check out my other series!
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quietstormxr · 22 days ago
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Part 2 of 'Forgotten'
Angst, Fluff
Poll Chosen : Xaden Riorson x Reader
Summary: After leaving Navarre behind, you promise yourself you will fight with or without your dragon and beloved. Fighting though, for some reason always leads you to Xaden.
A/N: FW/IF Spoilers.
Word Count: >28k (settle in and get comfy)
I really hope y'all enjoy this one. Let me know what you think.
Part 1
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What does one do when they run away from their dragon and desert their war college? 
Hide, of course. 
Pausing at a copse of trees, you sink down to your knees and pull the now tattered cloak as firmly around your shoulders as you can. The bitter chill of the wind has begun to settle into your bones as you miss the warmth of a roaring fire and warm bed.
Days of traveling by foot have taken a grueling toll on your body. Though you haven’t gone hungry, thanks to your foresight of paying attention to infantry during RSC missions, the small game that you’ve caught and cooked over small fires has not done much to satisfy your hunger. The fire, in turn, barely warms your hands and feet when the night chill settles in.
As your head rests against the back of a tree, you take a deep breath trying to clear your mind. Even though you succeeded in your plan to slip away, it doesn’t take away the hurt that has twisted like a knife in your heart every step growing more painful than the last. Taking shallow breaths, you try to will away the devastation that seems to settle in your entire being.
The connection to your dragon has seemed to go dormant, a hollow feeling taking its place in your soul. You’re unsure if it will ever break completely, but you haven’t tried to pull towards it either. 
Reflecting on the bond, you can’t help but wonder if your dragon is glad to be rid of a rider that let themselves fall into the background. You feel a sense of cowardice and guilt wash over you at leaving everyone to fight the coming war. It’s that heartache of being a coward, for your dragon and beloved, that finally solidified a decision for your probably short future. 
As you were already in Poromiel, you knew there was no going back to Navarre. Besides, the Poromish have been fighting for much longer and are attacked more often if your experience in Resson was anything to go by.  
A few days prior you came across a small village, the people there wary of you dressed in all black leathers. Those reactions caused you to immediately find the nearest tailor and buy a new set of clothes with the little money you had with you.  The tailor was obviously distrusting of you, but no one was going to turn down coin when living in a small village, never knowing when your next sale would be. 
Although you purchased a wool shift dress, you didn’t have enough for a new cloak, hence the tattered holes that riddled yours from days of sleeping in the woods. 
Taking a deep breath, you lay down to get some sleep for the night hoping that the villagers were right, and you will arrive in Pavis in the morning. 
At the first sign of dawn, you sit up stretching out your back and muscles that have cramped during the night from sleeping on the hard ground. As soon as you feel blood flowing back into your extremities, you stand slowly wiping the sleep from your eyes. Staggering forward, you head toward the small stream you had noticed before picking this area to camp for the night. 
As soon as you arrive you drop down and splash the cold water on your face and drink your fill of the clean, cool water. The shock of cold sends a shiver down your body, doing wonders in pushing the last vestiges of sleep from your mind.
You begin walking in the same southeastern direction the villagers had directed you in just four days ago. Letting a small groan fall from your lips, you try to forget the sluggish feeling that has overtaken your body from so many days of travel. 
It’s as if Amari and Zinhal have finally thought to bless you as you finally see a large town come into view. A sigh of relief escapes you as you finally see a town that rivals Chantara and not just a small village with nothing there.
You drag your tired body to the first tavern you see and take a deep breath at the smell of spiced, roasted meats filling your lungs. A second later, your stomach growls loudly in protest of not being filled. Sitting down at the bar, you open your pack fishing for the remaining coin.
Pulling out your small purse, you drop the contents on the bar in front of the barkeep.
“What can I get for this?” You ask, hoping beyond hope that you can get something filling. 
“Not much. I can probably get you a small bowl of stew and a glass of wine.” The barkeep replies giving you a slightly suspicious look. 
It dawns on you that the man can probably hear the accent you have when you speak the Krovlish language. You may be proficient, but it’s been almost impossible to hide your accent.
“That would be lovely.” You say hoping that you can seem as harmless as possible. At least you know that no one will see the daggers that are strapped to your body since the shift you bought covers them well. 
As soon as you exchange the coins, you are presented with a small steel bowl filled with a delicious smelling stew of beef and local vegetables. You dig in, savoring every single bite that begins to warm you from the inside out, letting out a contented sigh as the food hits your empty stomach. As you continue eating, you can see the barkeep watching you from the corner of your eye. In order to beat some of the suspicion, you take the chance and begin talking. 
“Can I ask if you are currently looking for any help?” You ask as you begin to bring the wine cup to your lips. 
The barkeep, a middle-aged man with bronzed skin and dark blue eyes that are clearly analyzing your motives. “You don’t seem like you’re from here. Where are you coming from?”
At the question, you startle slightly but make sure to hide your surprise at the question. “I’ve been displaced since the invasion in Resson.”
You decide that being as truthful as possible will be the only way to go, hopefully garnering the trust of the man you are currently speaking with. The barkeep continues to look you over, but you don’t miss the pitying gaze that he gives you. You can’t help but scoff internally as you realize how in the dark the people of Navarre have become, but obviously venin attacks are openly spoken about.
“I’m looking for a bed and to make some money.” You begin to explain exactly what you’re trying to find. “Eventually, I hope to join the rest of your military to fight against the threat that’s being ignored past your borders.”
“And why would I believe that? You’re obviously Navarrian. What if you’re just here to cause trouble?” The barkeep drolls on, but the calculation in his eyes is obvious. “Besides, I thought only a riot of dragon riders helped to fight in Resson.”
The wince is impossible to keep off your face. Taking a large sigh, you let everything out. You tell the barkeep that you were a rider, having since left your dragon, Basgiath, and Navarre behind. You try to convey the conviction you feel about helping the people of Poromiel and the overarching continent, even recounting the tale of the little girl you saved. As you begin to finish, you can see the hard lines of the barkeep’s expression begin to smooth. 
“I’m not sure how you pulled off leaving a dragon behind, as well as Basgiath, but you seem genuine.” He says matter-of-factly. “Tell you what
We’ll have a trial. You help around the tavern with any tasks given and you can stay on the cot near the kitchens.”
“And, if you’re serious about joining the war effort, I’ll get in touch with those I know in the military and see if I can get you involved.” The thankful smile that falls across your face is a relief from the sadness and fear that had gripped you over the last few days. 
“That sounds wonderful.” There’s no way to hide the earnestness in your voice. “I appreciate your kindness and willingness to give me a chance. Things haven’t been easy the last few days.”
“Well, if you’re going to be staying here, introductions are in order. My name is Redvers, but you can call me, Red. Ceridwen is my wife, and she runs the kitchens.” Red holds out his hand to shake and you take it enthusiastically, happy to finally be able to have someone to at least converse with and give you a chance. 
“I’m Y/N. I really won’t be able to thank you enough for this.”
He chuckles. “Don’t thank me too much yet, you haven’t worked or have even seen where you’ll be sleeping.”
“I doubt any cot could be worse than the cold, hard ground.” You mutter ruminating on how nice it will be to sleep somewhere other than on the forest floor.
“Come, you can begin working tomorrow. Tonight, you can rest and get settled.”
Red leads you to a small room that is only large enough to house a cot and small table. You look back at him and smile as you take your pack off and place it next to the table. 
“Let me know if you need anything, the tavern is usually open late into the evening.” Red says before turning and closing the small door. 
You immediately try to light a mage light and as you try for the third time, it finally hits you. All the powers you had are now gone. You fumble in the room until you find a candle and a flint to light it. As soon as the small flame is lit, you fall to the cot and your head falls back onto the pillow. 
Finally feeling some semblance of safety, all the emotions you’d drowned out since a silver haired girl entered the scene crashes down at once. 
Staring at the beams of the ceiling, you try to normalize your breathing, but its useless. Your body has gone into shock, panic overtaking your every sense. Breathing is erratic, and tears are streaming down your face in a torrent as your body begins to shiver and shake in response to your breaking. You turn to the side and curl up into the tightest ball you possibly can and let yourself fall completely apart. 
You’re unsure of when or how you fell asleep, but as you wake with a pounding headache, you realize at some point in the night your body must’ve given out. The emotion that overtook you taking every ounce of energy you had left in your body. As you trudge from the bed, you look to see someone brought a pitcher of water while you’ve been out. 
Pouring yourself a cup of water and staring out of the small window you hadn’t noticed when you entered, you try to take a deep breath though all you feel is a hollowness. As you stare into the night sky, the sadness of now being alone settles like a heavy cloak. All you can do is count your breaths and hope that you made the right decision. 
A few days go by, and you find yourself getting into the groove of assisting in the tavern. You begin noticing the townspeople that seem to come in regularly. A few fliers have also made themselves known, although you know they have no idea their enemy is feeding them stew and serving them wine and ale. 
You grow close to both Red and Ceridwen, learning of their story and their families. You never thought you would find such wonderful and caring people, especially when you just randomly walked into this space. They welcomed you as if you were the daughter they never had. 
Ceridwen began taking you under her wing and helping cook in the kitchens, teaching you recipes you’d never seen before. It was there that you could hear the conversations and gossip from those coming through the tavern. 
“I don’t know what he thinks he’s going to accomplish with Sorrengail.” Your ears immediately perk up at the name going to stand closer to the serving window of the kitchen.
“Look Cat, it doesn’t matter what he’s doing either way. The betrothal is null and void. There is no reason for you to bother with Riorson any longer.” Your eyes flash as you realize who they are talking about, but then they furrow trying to place the name Cat. 
“You and I both know he’s not really in love with her. If there’s one thing that I learned being betrothed to the bastard is that he’s incapable of feelings besides calculation and revenge.” You’re unsure why but her words about Xaden make your blood begin to boil. 
“Just because he wasn’t emotionally available for you doesn’t mean he’s emotionless. Stop being so petty.” The other girl counters, obviously trying to put this Cat girl in her place.
“Secondly, if that is the case, what would you call the other girl that always had him distracted.” 
“Oh her, she was never a threat. Besides, look how easily she was left behind. The group didn’t even notice they were leaving with a riderless dragon when flying out of Resson. Some feelings he had for her if she was that forgettable.” The defiant tone in Cat’s voice causes a stone to settle in your stomach. 
With the last statement, you move out of earshot of anyone in the tavern. The knife that’s been embedded in your heart since you disappeared turns a little tighter making it hard to breathe. You can’t help but wonder when the knife will just explode and either kill you or leave you so emotionless you can’t be hurt anymore.
The rest of the day passes as if molasses through the eye of a needle. When you are finally able to retire for the night, you fall on your cot and try to breathe through the heartache that seemed to settle inside you, a tight band constricting further and further across your chest. 
When you rise the next morning, you are more set than ever that you need to get to the front lines of this war. If you are going to lose your life, you might as well lose it while trying to fight the real enemy, maybe then the hollow feeling in your chest will stop. 
As soon as you can, you go to speak with Red. “Have you had any luck finding someone to connect you with the military?”
The surprised look on Red’s face is almost comical, maybe he didn’t think you were serious about that part. He motions for you to sit down at a stool, and he sits next to you.
“I spoke with one of the commanders of the drifts. She has instructed that if you are interested, you will have to bring your supplication to Viscount Tecarus in Cordyn.” Red finishes and he looks at you directly as if to ascertain if this is what you want.
“How exactly do I get to Cordyn from here?” Asking that question makes his face fall slightly.
“Are you sure that is the path you wish to take? Ceridwen and I are more than happy to help you and let you continue living here. We’ve both come to enjoy your company over the past weeks.” The sad look that Red gives you causes you to let out a sad smile. You never thought deserting your position as a rider would end up leading you to people who had become surrogate parents. 
You get up and sling your arms around Red. Although startled, he wraps his arms around your waist in a warm hug. 
“You really have no idea how much it warms my heart to hear you say that.” You pause trying to find the right words. “But all my life I’ve been left behind. Now, I have the opportunity to stand up for those who cannot and if I fall doing so, at least I know I died honorably.”
You can see the sadness in his face as he comes to terms with the fact that you won’t be changing your mind. Red gives you a small smile and squeezes your hand.
“Give me a few days and I will help get you to Cordyn. On foot or by carriage it takes several days, but I may be able to get you a flight with one of the gryphons.”
Your eyes widen as you take in his words. “Would a gryphon even allow someone besides their flier on their back? Won’t they know that I was a dragon rider?” You can’t help the thought and fear that grips you. 
“Yes, you would be allowed to fly. And no, they won’t know you were a rider.” Red says with so much conviction your brows knit together. “You see I know a little about bonds, between gryphons and dragons.”
“When a bond is tested by the rider or flier, it can be broken if the gryphon or dragon chooses to do so. I’m unsure if your dragon has chosen to break the bond, as its hard for a human to decipher, but the gryphon won’t be able to sense it as it is buried.”
“How exactly do you know all of that?” You can’t keep the confused look off your face at the new information.
“Because back in my younger days, I was a gryphon flier myself.” Your eyes widen as you take in the new information. 
“Why didn’t you kill me on-site?” The question forms unbidden on your tongue and escapes before you can stop it.
Red gives you a warm smile before stating simply. “Because you fought for those who needed help. You chose to aid someone you were taught was the enemy without question and saved a young girl. Valor like that is worth more than just being classified as a dragon rider or gryphon flier.” 
Without even forming the thought, you find yourself back in his warm embrace. “Thank you for trusting me and recognizing something in me that most other people seem to take for granted.”
“I think you underestimate how many people see your loyalty, honor, and valor. However, I do believe that all those qualities can be taken for granted. It’s not uncommon to be left behind when you quietly lift people up.” He pauses with a thoughtful look on his face. “It isn’t usually until those people lose the person that held them high that they realize everything they had and lost.”
With those words, Red leaves you to get to work getting the tavern set up for the day. 
The parting words seem to continue to float in your mind for days. You never wanted to be taken for granted, but it seemed like your entire life people always just assumed you would be there. You knew that your nature to be a safe haven in the storms of life for everyone was something people loved. However, when it was calm, you always felt that people would let you drift behind. A forgotten force only needed to bolster someone in times of trouble.
Thinking your time at Basgiath over, you realized that you had always been a haven for Xaden and his group. You were constantly there trying to help them in every way you could. What you didn’t realize was that they played you for a fool, taking advantage of your willingness to help. 
Reflecting, you remember all the times you told them about the weapons that Emmetterio would have brought in and even showed them the forge at Basgiath. You had signed up for weapons maintenance, and they ended up having clear access to everything they were looking for from you. You shake your head as all the small things you missed come crashing down. 
Luckily today was a rare occasion where Ceridwen had you going to the market to pick up supplies, so you weren’t trying to serve anyone as the reality of everything began to crash into you. 
You stop on your way to the market and let yourself sink down on a large rock not far from the road. You want to cry, but you just don’t have any tears left to give. Time and time again you feel like you were just a pawn in someone’s game. 
Anger at yourself, Xaden, and everyone that you considered a friend at Basgiath begins to make your blood heat. How could you have been so naĂŻve?
With a tumult of emotions roaring through your body, you head back to the tavern, the market all but forgotten. A new determination coils inside your mind as you realize the only way to get through these feelings is to be useful. You want to get lost in the adrenaline of war, of putting your life on the line and not caring the outcome.
As if Red can read your thoughts, the minute you return to the tavern he is waiting with a dark-haired man in form fitting brown leathers. You pull up short not expecting to have anyone expecting your arrival.
“Ah, just who I was looking for.” Red says as he gestures for you to join him and his companion. 
You begin forward hesitantly not really knowing how to proceed with someone that is so visibly a flier. All of your instincts from years of hearing they were the enemy causing your trepidation to rise, though you try to tamp it down as Red gives you a look of assurance. You take a deep calming breath and know that you must put your trust in the man that has helped you over the last two months.  
“Y/N, this is Drake Cordella.” Red says motioning to the man next to him. Drake immediately puts his hand out to shake yours and gives you a warm smile.
“Pleasure to meet you, Y/N.” Drake says warmly, and you give him a small nod and smile in return while shaking his hand firmly.
“Pleasure to meet you as well. I’m assuming that Red has informed you on my want to join the war effort.” You decide bluntness about the whole situation is better than trying to skirt around the edges. 
“Yes, he’s filled me in on your situation shall we say.” A questioning look is immediately shot to Red who is still just smiling back at you.
“Don’t worry, Y/N. Drake is a close friend of mine. He won’t divulge any information if you wish to keep it secret.” Red reassures you letting your heart settle a little. 
“I assure you, giving up any information on you is the last thing I want to do. However, I am curious as to how things are for you since being separated from your bond for so long.” Taking a look around the tavern, you can’t help the unease that settles at talking about this topic in the open.
“Would you both mind talking somewhere a little more private? I haven’t gone this long without being discovered to out myself now.” You ask, hoping you can go to Red’s office that is at the back and soundproof.
“Of course, lets head to my office.” Red says leading the way to the back.
As soon as the three of you are inside and comfortable, you take a deep breath and share the details of the past two months with them. Divulging the way your bond seems to be underneath a glass layer or buried at the bottom of a clear lake, you can still sense the pull, but it has weakened enormously. Confirming that you haven’t been able to communicate with your dragon or even draw any semblance of power. Turning on mage lights, powering pens, opening and locking doors with magic, all seem to be lost to you with the bond being silent. 
They both seem to listen in rapt fascination. You realize it may not be ideal to tell the ‘enemy’ all this information, but you are certain that you won’t be seeing any Navarrians any time soon. While talking, you watch Drake move to brace his elbows on his knees as if you are telling the most fascinating story he’s ever been told.
“You were one of the riders that fought in Resson?” Drake questions, his face becoming one of contemplation. 
“Yes, I rescued a young girl and killed a venin before, as some would say, I deserted my riot.” You bring your head down to the floor suddenly ashamed of your actions. 
“None of that.” You catch Drake waving his hand off noncommittally at your comment. “You obviously don’t know this, but your disappearance is well known in Poromiel. I believe those in Navarre believe you are dead, at least I believe that is part of the story Riorson and Sorrengail spun.”
Your nose crinkles and stomach sours at the mention of both Xaden and Sorrengail, two names you hope you’d never hear again, let alone see.
“You see, I believe you have someone looking very intently for your whereabouts.” You can’t help the scoff that immediately leaves your lips. If there is anything you won’t believe its that anyone from Navarre is looking for you. 
“Besides, I believe your dragon has kicked up a bit of a fuss for those in the vale if the rumors are to be believed.” You stare back at Drake not believing how much he seems to know about you and your situation. Shaking your head, you decide its time to now get back down to the real business and not idle gossip. 
“Will any of that deter you from taking me to help the Poromish with this war?” You question. “You see, I don’t rightly care about parsing through any attachments to Navarre or any of the people in it. However, I do care about helping as much as I can to eliminate the threat of the venin.”
A sly smile marks a change in Drake’s demeanor moving past the questioning of your ties to Navarre. 
“I respect that is your decision. Red and I have discussed this, and I wanted to see if you would like to accompany me to Cordyn to meet my uncle.” Drake informs.
“If meeting with the Viscount is the only way that I can prove my intention to aid, then I’m ready to leave whenever you are.” The conviction in your voice makes Drake give you a curt nod, even as Red gives you a sad smile.
“Ceridwen and I are going to miss you, Y/N.” Red says sincerity lining every word. “Please know that you will always have a home here.”
Those words cause you to immediately stand and cross the room, wrapping your arms tightly around the man that welcomed you warmly into his domain. 
“No words will convey how thankful I am that you took a chance on me. Thank you for your loyalty, comfort, and love. Without those things, I’m not sure if I would’ve survived much longer.” You whisper for only him to hear. “I will be forever grateful to you for absolutely everything you’ve done for me.”
After giving him another tight squeeze, you head to your rooms to begin packing the few things that were yours. A light knock on the door brings your attention away from combing through the last of the items. Before you can say a word, Ceridwen comes in carrying a small box and a sad smile on her lips.
“Red told me that you’ll be heading out with Drake soon.” She says matter-of-factly moving to stand at your side while you give a small nod. “You may not have been with us long but know that you’ll always be like a daughter to us.”
As she finishes, she hands out the small box to you. You take it and can’t help the gasp that escapes you as you open it. Inside a black velvet box is a gold necklace with a small round pendant. You examine the pendant, and your eyebrow raises at the runes carved into one side. Ceridwen goes to take the necklace from you and places it on your neck. 
“Keep this on you at all times, especially in Cordyn.” She states firmly. “You may or may not know this, but fliers usually have gifts that entail mind work.”
She pauses as if thinking through her words as she grabs your shoulders and turns you around. “You can trust Drake, but there are those who – if they find out who you are- will do anything to make your life miserable.”
Staring back at Ceridwen, you know that the words she is giving you are for your benefit, not to scare you or coerce you to stay. 
“Thank you.” You begin as you wrap her in a hug just as fierce as the one you gave her husband. “I know we may not cross paths again, but please know how much you and Red mean to me. I told him already, but there aren’t enough thank you’s in the world to give you for everything that you’ve done for me.”
Ceridwen hugs you back just as fiercely before stepping away, you must take a deep breath when she steps back and you see the tears swimming in her eyes.
Not even an hour later, you’ve shouldered your pack and dressed in the only pants and shirt that you had which happened to be some old clothes of Red’s. As you walk out of the tavern, it’s impossible not to turn and give it a once over, committing every small crack, hole, and crevice to memory. Since you had started at Basgiath three years ago, you were unsure if you’d ever be in another place that hurt your heart so much to leave, but now here you are.
As you walk towards Drake, you can see the outline of his gryphon in the distance. The warmth and sadness that you felt leaving the tavern now turning into fear at the creature in front of you. 
Obviously sensing your trepidation, whether from your expression or the way your walk slowed, Drake holds out his hand as if in comfort. 
“I know this will be intimidating, but I promise he won’t hurt you.” Even though his words mean to placate your fear, you can’t help the raise of one of your brows in challenge.
“D-Does h-he know that I’m a dragon rider?” Your voice slides into a quiet whisper as you ask the last part of the question.
Drakes warm chuckle begins to ease the tension that has settled in your stomach. “Yes, just like your dragon, its impossible to get him out of my head.”
You look at Drake in fascination that he can seem to break the tension you’re feeling without doing more than say just the right thing.
“Are you always so comforting? Or do you have some sort of agenda here?” Your hand flies to your mouth in horror that you couldn’t stop your words. Worry is short-lived though when Drake lets out a warm booming laugh.
“I promise I have no ulterior motives.” A cocky smirk falling on his lips. “But I can’t help being born with such a charming nature.”
“And there it is.” You begin to tease as your tension continues to lighten. “I was wondering when your cocky side was going to come out.”
Without even realizing, his teasing had made you completely forget that you were headed directly for his gryphon. As you finally reach the animal, you can’t help but notice the amazing sheen to its feathers that still glints an impossible shade of gold in the moonlight. Everything about the creature seems softer than your dragon, although as you look at the talons below, you know that it can be just as vicious when it needs to be.  
Drake takes your hand and brings it to the gryphon’s face. You look at him uncertainly, your heartrate beginning to spike wondering if this is the part where you get fed to his talons and sharp beak. Although, your thoughts are cut short when the gryphon simply dips it and seems to sniff at your wrist.
“He isn’t going to bite. Gryphons just like to assess a person before they are allowed to ride. They, unlike most dragons, are willing to fly those in need of transportation, especially if their flier deems their purpose worthy.” Drake explains as he continues to hold your hand out. 
“Fascinating.” You say with no sarcasm in your tone. It’s not the first time since you left that you’ve wondered what exactly happened that caused dragons and gryphons to be so hostile to each other. However, you’re unsure if it’s the beings themselves or just the people that they bond with.
After a few minutes more, Drake drops your hand gently back to your side before taking your pack and securing it to his gryphon.
“if you don’t mind, I’d like you to sit in front of me.” Drake begins. “I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable, but the movement from gryphons compared to dragons is quite different and we don’t want you falling off.”
You shake your head and the next thing you know; he is hoisting you between the gryphon’s wings. 
“Now, you’ll need to scoot a little closer to his neck – yes – right there, perfect.” As he finishes, you are impressed with the ease in which he settles himself behind you. 
Without warning, they gryphon launches into the air, and you find yourself smacking directly into Drake’s chest. Your cheeks burning scarlet, you can do nothing but thank Zinhal it is already dark outside. 
“We’ll be flying at a lower altitude than you’re used to, so you should definitely be able to get some rest.” Drake explains, his mouth unnervingly close to your ear. 
You mentally slap yourself, but you can’t help the flush of your cheeks again. You close your eyes against the feeling, scolding yourself that it hasn’t been that long since a man has showed you attention.
You shake your head at his words and let your mind drift to the beats of the gryphon’s wings. Between the warmth of the lower altitude and the rhythmic flapping, you find yourself nodding off too quickly. 
Your consciousness slowly coming back, you snuggle into the warmth that has seemed to settle into your bones. It isn’t until you recognize the flapping of your wings that you are snapping to attention. Turning your head, you are met with Drake’s warm smile and a teasing glint in his eye.
“Have a nice sleep there?” He teases you. “I’m glad that I was a comfortable blanket.”
Your eyes widen in embarrassment as you quickly turn around back to the gryphon’s golden neck, the mortification burning in your cheeks.
Drake’s warm laugh breaks your embarrassment. “Don’t worry, it was pretty cute.”
Your head drops again in mortification, and you give a pout at his teasing, a frustrated huff leaving your lips. Though the feeling doesn’t stay around long when Drake begins to point in front of you.
Your eyes now widen, and jaw goes slack in absolute awe. Standing in stark relief to the blue of the coastline is a palace so intricate you have to pinch yourself to make sure you aren’t dreaming. As your eyes roam quickly, you can’t decide if you should focus on the intricate white walls of gleaming marble, or the pools that look as blue as the sky. Trying to count the seemingly endless number of terraces and small gardens that jut out in all directions, you have a hard time concentrating on any one piece. 
“You didn’t tell me to expect this.” Now looking down at the oversized clothes you are in, you can’t help but feel like a peasant waiting to be judged by royalty. You scoff in your mind because that is exactly what’s about to happen.
“Don’t let the palace and formality fool you. Besides, you won’t have to worry, you’re with me and I know Ceridwen gave you the necklace.” Drake’s tone is a cool calm and you try to infuse your feelings with the same. You are surprised to learn that Drake knew of the necklace but shrug your shoulders knowing that Red and Ceridwen trust him. At this point, you know there is no turning back, although there’s no certainty that you will like what will happen once you step foot in that palace.
Finally landing in a garden off to the side, you look around to see nothing but ornamental shrubs to your left and right. After years at Basgiath and life in Navarre, everything about this place seems overdone. 
Drake dismounts from the gryphon and immediately holds his hand out waiting to steady you as you dismount as well.
“Even though you aren’t a prisoner in any way. I need you to stick close.” Drake says with a serious tone. “You don’t need to fear for your life, but others may be inclined to harm you if they see you walking around by yourself in this clothing. Or at least make your life difficult.”
“What’s wrong with my clothing?” You ask indignantly.
“Nothing,” he says with slight exasperation. “You just have to understand that there won’t be anyone around the palace that doesn’t have a noble’s clothing on. Let’s just say my uncle is a fan of protocol.”
You shake your head understanding now what Drake is trying to convey. “I promise I’ll stick close by.”
Drake motions his hand for you to begin walking and he matches you stride for stride. The closer you get, the more in awe you find yourself. You come to an immediate stop as you look to your right and see nothing but a cloud of butterflies.
You hear a light snicker and turn to see Drake laughing gently at your obvious shock. “I know everything is a lot to take in on first glance, but I promise you can have the grand tour after we get you situated.”
Nodding, you continue walking into hallway upon hallway seeming to get more and more decorative as you descend into the heart of the palace. 
“Good morning, Sterling.” Drake says to a guard standing at two large wooden doors. “I assume my uncle and Syrena are behind there.”
“Yes, Captain. They are both anticipating your arrival.” As he finishes, Sterling looks back at you in judgment and you begin fiddling at his intense stare, but as a soldier he clearly knows better than have his feelings shown on his face.
Drake moves forward and opens the heavy wooden doors, moving them both to the side. You are met with an impressive study dripping with indulgences. There are crystal vases filled with exotic flowers, shelves with thousands of tomes, and fine carpets that have motifs you’ve never seen before.
The shocking details in the room cause you to completely miss the stares of the two other people. But as soon as you look back, you want to do nothing more than back away out of the room.
“Picking up strays now cousin?” The female in the room says. From Drake’s question to the guard, you realize this must be Syrena though you can’t help but bristle at her words.
“If by strays, you mean someone who has previously fought venin, then yes. If you’re just trying to be rude, then screw off.” Your eyebrows shoot up. Of all the things you expected, you never thought you’d hear someone who just met you defend your honor.
“Both of you are acting like children in front of our guest.” A clearly older voice rings out as you watch an older man step out from behind the large desk at the end of the room. 
“Uncle.” Drake says in a slow drawl. “I was in Pavis, and a friend made me aware of someone that was interested in fighting with us against the venin threat. She was there for about two months.”
“I see.” Tecarus says as he begins to walk around you as if inspecting a shiny new toy. “Does our guest possess any gifts or interesting talents?”
The drawl of his voice sounds a shiver down your spine before Drake speaks up again. “Besides combat experience, no she doesn’t possess any other talents.”
Drake looks at you as if wanting to confirm and you give him a small nod.  
“Drake says you’ve dealt with the venin before?” Tecarus asks as he continues to stalk closer to you.
“Yes.” The words leave your lips hesitantly. “I killed one in the combat that I have seen; however, I wouldn’t consider myself overly proficient.”
“Now, now dear. Don’t downplay your abilities. In fact, if the news Syrena has just brought to me is correct, you may have shown up at just the right time.” Drake comes to stand next to his uncle as he continues to make you uncomfortable with his piercing gaze. 
“What news Syrena?” Drake demands to the woman who has begun to step closer as well.
“The venin army is on the move and our intelligence tells us they may be making Zolya and the Academy their next target.” Syrena succinctly conveys the information, no emotion showing on her face.
All teasing in Drake’s face had long since disappeared. Everyone in the room tensed as Syrena continued to explain what the scouts had seen as the most recent movement. A shiver snaked around your body as the extent of the possible attack settled in your mind. 
“Are you planning on evacuating the cadets?” The question slipped from your lips before the thought even fully formed in your mind. 
The three people in the room turned to you seeming to finally remember your existence. You could see the hesitation in Syrena’s face to continue, but soon enough she was going over the evacuation plans for the Academy and the city overall. 
“I’m not a flier, but I would like to help in any way I can.” You hope that your voice is infused with the bravado that is flaring to life inside of you. 
After a few months of trying to bury your past, this seemed like the perfect way to carve out a new role for yourself. Try as you may, you hadn’t been able to get the phantom memories out of your mind. Phantom touches and small moments that had seemed so precious before only burned with dragon fire and stung as a scorpion’s tail. 
Shaking your head, you try to dispel the memories that had still been haunting your dreams. 
“If you’re willing to fight, I’m sure we can find a place for you.” Syrena confirms as Drake clasps a hand to your shoulder in acknowledgment. 
A little over a week later, you find yourself again seated in front of Drake flying towards Zolya. 
For the last week you had been working with Syrena and Drake on fighting, getting outfit in Poromish leathers, and learning as much as you could about the venin and their tactics in Poromiel thus far.
“Before we get to Zolya, we have a stop to make.” Drake says, though his tone belies there is more to this stop.
“Spit out exactly what you aren’t saying.” You spit tersely knowing there is something he isn’t saying.
“You’re going to want to stay with the gryphons and keep the hood of the cloak you have up.” He continues. 
“And you need to tell me exactly what the fuck is about to happen.” You toss back.
With an exaggerated sigh, he continues. “We’re going to pick up weapons from someone I don’t think you’re interested in seeing.”
There is no way that Drake can miss the way that your entire body stiffens like a wooden plank. Of all the things he could have told you, this was the last thing you could’ve possibly imagined. Your head whips around to look at Drake in the eyes.
“Are you telling me that you’re about to pick up weapons from Xaden Riorson.” Your voice comes out smaller than you want, but at this point you know that Drake knows exactly who you are. How would the Poromish not know when they have a bargaining chip?
Suddenly thoughts of betrayal flit across your mind, but before you can spiral too deeply, Drake breaks your thoughts. 
“I promise neither Syrena nor I will say anything about who you are. That is why I’m asking you to raise your hood, cover your face with your handkerchief in your pocket and stay with the gryphons.” You try to take a calming breath as you realize that they are both really trying to make sure that Xaden doesn’t know it’s you. 
Gods. Can you even shield anymore? You immediately begin to test your metal shields and try to reinforce them. The nostalgia that hits you at being back in your mind space is off-putting, the exercise being something you never thought you would do again. 
Sooner than you’d like, you feel the gryphons shift as they begin their descent. Without waiting, you take the handkerchief out of your pocket and tie it over your nose and mouth, after which you bring up the hood of your cloak as the gryphon hits the ground.
Drake easily dismounts and turns to assist you. “Remember, just stay here and keep your mouth closed and this will be over soon enough.” He gives your arm a small squeeze as he turns around and walks towards the small clearing. 
Your breathing begins to pick up as your eyes move to the distance in front of Drake and Syrena and see Sgaeyl and Chradh standing there, the imposing figures of the dragons causing your heart to flutter. All you can do is pray to Zinhal that neither dragon will be able to place your scent, be interested in looking too deeply into you, or tries to delve into your mind. Though no one can see you looking, you watch the entire scene take place. 
The breath catches in your throat as you lay eyes on the man that stole your heart in now what seems so long ago and in a completely different life. You keep your head angled down and let your eyes take in the sight of Garrick standing there next to him, studying them both for any injuries. You can’t say they would care if they knew you were here or not, but that doesn’t stop you from caring about their well-being.
Then the tone of Xaden’s voice brings you out of your reverie. “If you don’t stop with the attacks, we won’t have any choice but to stop the drops. Not only are the cadre already suspicious, but the higher rates in attack are making this harder to accomplish.”
“We are aware Riorson, but there is movement you are unaware of that we are currently on our way to try and contain. Actually, there’s plenty you don’t know, and frankly I’m unsure why the Assembly hasn’t been forth coming with what they know.” Syrena claps back, her tone just as menacing as Xaden’s. After spending time on the other side, you can understand the desperation the fliers are feeling.
“Look, we’ll do what we can.” Drake interrupts, breaking the tension between the two, trying to be the voice of reason. “Just know that the threat is getting increasingly worse. Besides, in two weeks’ time, we may not even be around to collect anything from you.”
“What do you mean?” Xaden asks forcing his tone to be a little calmer.
“I mean that we are trying to stave off an organized attack of a large city that will have more than devastating consequences. I’m sorry to be vague, but is your assembly’s job to inform you, not ours.” With that, Drake turns and continues back towards you.  
As if finally recognizing there is another flier in his midst, you watch with your hood covering your eyes as Xaden’s gaze flicks up to you. You don’t miss the uncertain expression on his face and the way he cocks his head slightly to the side as if trying to place you. If you didn’t know him so well, you would’ve missed the small twitch of his hand indicating he was utilizing his shadows. 
At that same moment, you blink down and see the shifting of shadows around your feet. Using every ounce of restraint, you make yourself stand completely still, letting the shadows coil around your feet in curiosity. Forcing breaths in and out, you solidify the shields you hope still work in your mental fortress as tightly as you can. 
The moment that Drake steps up next to his gryphon, you bring your head up fully and lock eyes with Xaden for one second before you turn and allow Drake to help you up. You keep your head firmly down as Drake mounts and just seconds later you are airborne.
As you drift from the meeting spot, Drake’s chuckle breaks your tumultuous thoughts. 
“Syrena is going to have her hands full the next time Riorson does a drop.” He gets out between fits of laughter. Looking over your shoulder, you give him a quizzical look.
“Oh, so you didn’t see then.” Drake explains wryly. “If I can read people as well as I think I can, Riorson either thinks he just saw a ghost or realized who you were and was so shocked he didn’t know what to do.”
Scrunching your nose at Drake’s comment you turn back to the front and let out a long-suffering sigh.
“I’m assuming that since you said Syrena, you don’t normally have any interaction with Xaden.” You ask, now wondering exactly how this whole operation works.
“No. I don’t usually have time for such things.” Drake huffs an almost indignant sound coming from him, it causes your eyebrow to quirk, but you know better than to pry too deeply.
Falling into comfortable silence, you scan your surroundings noticing the changes in topography as you glide closer to Zolya. If there is one thing you can say for flying on a gryphon is that the lower altitude gives much more visibility to the lands around you. 
As you continue to observe the landscape, the familiar sound of rushing water fills your ears between the beats of gryphon wings. Looking down, the Stonewater River flowing below you can’t be mistaken. As dawn begins to break, you take the opportunity to soak in the colors and sounds of the river below you before the chaos that you are sure will ensue. 
Before you have enough time to absorb the beauty of the nature around you, the feeling of descent makes your stomach begin to rise to your throat. As you bring your eyes to the horizon in front of you, you see the fortress of Cliffsbane Academy rising from the ground. 
The foreboding stone is reminiscent of all the times you flew into Basgiath, but for some reason the fear that used to immediately settle in your bones at Basgiath doesn’t come. Unsure if it is just you moving past the fight of living or just accepting today may be your last, you don’t know. 
As the gryphon touches down in the flight field of the Academy, you can’t help the way your head swings as if on a swivel trying to map out your surroundings. A sarcastic huff leaves your mouth as you realize you are a dragon rider now standing in the beating heart of enemy territory. You wrestle with yourself trying to figure out if this is the best idea you’ve ever had or complete madness. 
Drake immediately dismounts and pulls you down soon after. Not letting any hesitation settle into your bones, you take a deep breath and stand tall, following close behind Drake as he confidently moves towards the entry doors.
“I’ll remind you to stay close by while we’re getting directives and moving everyone into their places.” Drake warns as you both continue to stride down the halls.
“Don’t worry. I have no interest in becoming fodder for the students here who may prefer to see me dead.” You challenge back, although there is no malice there.
Before long, Drake stops in front of two large doors and looks back at you giving you a tight nod. As he opens them, your eyes widen as you take in your surroundings. The rotunda that you have entered is just as big as the one at Basgiath, but instead of dragon pillars, majestic gryphons in different states of flight line the interior. Golds, browns and whites highlight each other in alternating hues from floor to ceiling, where the colors fade into the painting of a beautiful blue sky. 
You aren’t awed for long when you hear a familiar sounding voice call out from the other side.
“Since when is picking up strays a new past time for you cousin?” A female voice purrs with a malignant sneer.
“Catriona, I’m only going to say this once.” Drake begins as he gives the similar looking female a stern look. “Play. Nice. This isn’t about you or some petty score over a man. She is here to help us, so you will treat her with respect.”
Catriona looks at you, eyes narrowed, while Drake continues. “That is an order, not a request.”
“Oh, I can play nice.” Catriona retorts though the mischief in her eyes shows you probably won’t like what follows. “Besides, what could be more of a punishment than being forgotten about not only by a man you thought loved you, but also your own dragon. You must really feel sorry for yourself to end up in flier leathers.”
You can’t help the slight flinch when she finishes her statement, though you can’t understand how she would even know what you looked like. And with that your entire being begins to feel the helplessness and utter betrayal of being left. A grief so sharp, it feels as if your heart may stop, hits you straight between the ribs causing your breath to hitch.
Drake must realize something because soon enough you watch as he grabs Catriona by the arm and gets into her face. “I said play nice. Quit it now.”
Catriona gives you one last glare before turning and walking away. You’re unsure what just happened, but the sting of her words slowly seems to lessen the further and further she gets away.
A clash of steel breaks you from your emotions at you and Drake both turn and stare at the doors you just entered through. A second later, a warning bell whistles out harshly and all hell breaks loose. You watch as flier cadets seem to come racing from all areas of the building.
“Come on, it seems we were a little later in the timing than we should’ve been.” Drake says ushering you towards the heart of the Academy. 
“It’ll be better if we separate. Where can I help in evacuating?” You say while running to keep up with Drake. 
“Follow this corridor and get out everyone that you can. Remember to use the two blades that I gave you if you come across a venin.” You nod your head sharply at the orders and immediately begin running toward the corridor assigned. 
As you go, you knock heavily on the doors before directing anyone coming out to head to the rotunda and towards their gryphons. You try to keep a tally in your head, but as you reach about twenty, your mind starts to spin. 
A dark cloud seems to enter your mind and no amount of shaking your head clears it. Continuing down the hall and constantly trying to clear your mind, you don’t notice the set of billowing robes that is at the end staring straight at you.
“Well, well. I didn’t expect to see you here.” A high-pitched shriek of a voice calls out as you open the door of the last room.
After ushering the last two cadets out, you finally look up and come face to face with the last creature you were hoping to see today.
Venin.
“See me here?” You taunt back in confusion. “You act as if you know me.”
“Oh, we always know a tortured soul when we see one. Especially one so exquisitely bleak as you.” The voice of the female venin shrieks. Your heart begins to race as you try to figure out your best way out of the situation, though things look disheartening when you realize you are at the dead end of a corridor.
“My Sage told me about the girl who was forgotten at the last battle he attended. He could feel the pain radiating off you in waves. He was very disappointed to have to leave you behind.” Everything the female is saying makes your head spin.
Suddenly awareness comes back to you, and you jerk in response to the now close proximity of the female. As you begin circling one another, the thoughts of the possible finalities of this predicament hit you. You don’t have time to dwell though as the female unsheathes a blade and goes to make the first strike.
Immediately parrying, you find yourself completely disadvantaged at the speed the female possesses. You utilize all the training you had done with Xaden and Garrick, but nothing seems to be enough to completely evade her blows. As you aim your own alloyed blade down to strike, you hiss as you feel a blade tear down your left arm. 
A fiery sting erupts from the wound as if hundreds of dragons are firing up and down your arm, but you don’t stop, you can’t. The female steps back slightly admiring her handywork which causes her downfall. You take the move for your advantage and charge directly at her. 
Even though she stepped back, your height made it easy to hit her right between the ribs. A shriek of a scream rends the air as she grabs at the alloyed dagger now protruding from her body. 
Watching as she falls to her knees, you find yourself backing against a wall, the sharp sting of scorpions radiating from your arm. Once the venin falls completely to the ground, you turn and look down. It is then you see the black that has begun to spider down your arm.
You begin to stumble back down the corridor towards the rotunda, hoping that you can drag yourself there. Movement begins to become sluggish as you get closer, hearing the battle still raging around you. Finally reaching the door, you look up and see people being directed out to the adjacent courtyard. Limping forward, you search for the familiar face of Drake.
As luck would have it, on the third pass of the hall, you finally spot him on the far corner. As if acutely aware of your stare, his head jerks up and his eyes land on you. Relief floods his face before it seems to turn to concern as you find yourself slowly sinking to the ground.
“Y/N!” You can hear Drake shout, although everything is beginning to sound far away. The harsh sounds of orders and footsteps seem to make up the background noise in your head, but nothing is clear anymore. Finally hitting the floor, you hiss out a pained breath as it begins to feel as if a thousand needles are running through your veins. 
“Y/N!” Drake shouts again and you see him materialize in front of your face. His voice is both a command and plea at the same time, though you’re unsure why.
As your vision begins to swim black, you think you hear him again. “You’ll be alright. We’re going to counteract the poison; you just need to hold on.”
The burning continues, your body convulsing with the heat of the venom in your blood. You can feel your whole-body tense as waves of fire rolls through. Darkness taking over your vision and your body beginning to slacken as the poison infiltrates your blood stream.
Each fiber of your body feels overloaded with fiery toxin and the loss of adrenaline. You try to open your eyes one last time, but your eyelids won’t obey your command, instead you find yourself slipping into oblivion.
----------
The first thing you notice is the quiet. Without opening your eyes, you listen but are only met with deafening silence. Continuing to lie unmoving, you take a deep breath before trying to open your eyes. Managing to finally get them open, though the effort seems unbearable, you are met with confusion as your eyes stare up at a beautifully decorative ceiling. 
Confusion tugs at your brain as you try to place this room that seems familiar, yet not. The decadence of the bedroom, even only by the ceiling you can see and the feel of the sheets on your bare skin, is something that seems familiar but not at the same time. Slowly, you let yourself move each one of your limbs, from your toes to your fingertips. 
You begin to move your arm and feel a lingering ache on your left. Bringing it up and over the covers your breath catches in your throat and your eyes widen at the sight. All along your arm are spidering black veins that seem to penetrate your skin.
“Don’t worry, eventually it will recede.” Immediately your head whips to your right towards the male voice. “It will take some time since we don’t have a mender and only healers, but it shouldn’t cause you any issues.” 
Your eyes encounter the warm gaze of Drake. Never before would you have thought the view of a flier would be a welcome sight, but your life hadn’t seemed to work out the way you’d thought anyway.
“H – How lo-long have I been out?” You rasp your voice scratchy with disuse and in desperate need of water.
While you finish your statement, Drake moves to the table next to the bed and brings you a fresh glass of water. You take the cup and drink greedily, the cool liquid calming the dryness.
“It’s been a week since the venin took Zolya.” Head jerking back towards Drake, your eyes widen at the revelation.
“Wh-what happened to all of those cadets?” Your heart begins to race as you panic over your life being saved over those fliers who were trying to learn and fight for their people. 
Drake gives you a knowing smile. “Don’t worry, we were able to evacuate Cliffsbane for the most part. Unfortunately, as with every battle with the venin, we weren’t able to save everyone.”
Your eyes immediately turn down at the news of the cadets that didn’t make it through the battle. This wasn’t the first time that you felt there was an unnecessary loss of life, and although you tried to make a difference, you always felt lacking.
A warm hand covers your forearm and gives a tight squeeze as you look up into Drake’s knowing eyes.
Days later, you’re finally feeling normal enough to get dressed and move about. Staring in the mirror after a shower, you begin to trace the lines of a particularly dark vein that moves across your chest to your left arm. Although you don’t feel the fiery pain that the poison elicited immediately, the phantom fire still seems to course through your veins as you trace the line. 
“It will fade soon enough.” A sharp feminine voice rasps causing you to whip your head to the right. Fighting the surprise that wants to plaster on your face, you turn to face the two women who are entering into the room you’re staying in. 
Turning around, you watch warily as Syrena and Catriona walk towards you. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your company.” The saccharine dripping from your lips a stark contrast to your thoughts of the two women.
“Our Uncle seems to think we will be having Tyrrish company soon and for some reason he wants to dress you for the part of emissary.” The venomous tone Catriona adopts when telling you this information betrays her polite words.
“Dress me?” Your brows furrow at the thought. Hearing of such things happening was no surprise, however, not being part of a political family or born to royalty it was an action foreign to you. 
Syrena steps forward handing you the tunic you were about to put on. “Yes, even though he has more than enough gowns to alter in his repertoire, he wants to put you in something new.”
“Why though? What is he expecting from me?” You look back at Syrena hoping for some semblance of answers, though you’re unsure if she will provide any.
“Unfortunately, he hasn’t revealed what his plan is or what he seems to be expecting.” Syrena confirms. “Though if the consistent nagging I’ve been forced to partake in the last few weapons drops is any indication, I’m sure he’s trying to exploit Riorson’s weakness for you.”
You immediately scoff and roll your eyes at the comment. “Why would he be pestering you? He doesn’t even know I’m still alive, yet alone here of all places.”
“It seems the one look he caught at your eyes has reinforced his belief that you are indeed alive. And that I am more than aware of your whereabouts, which obviously is all correct.” Syrena gives you a deadpan look.
“But who knows why it would matter. He obviously couldn’t care less if he didn’t even notice your absence.” Catriona comments and you loathe to admit to yourself that she’s right. 
Your head begins to hang as the bitterness hardens in your heart at the thought of Xaden leaving you behind without even noticing. But wasn’t that the reason you ran? Didn’t you want him to forget? Didn’t you want to forget him? Unsure where these intense feelings of insignificance and uselessness have come from, your hand grabs at your chest as the ache intensifies feeling as if the organ may leap out of your chest. You try to calm yourself, but you can feel your breaths becoming shallow pants and the control it takes to hold in your sobs is immense.
“Cat!” You hear Syrena’s sharp tone in the background, though it seems like its underwater. “Leave her alone. She doesn’t even have her powers to shut you out.”
Words registering, you try to slam your shields up, but you can’t get past the ache and intense feelings of inconsequence.
“If she wants to be with Riorson, she’s going to have to be stronger than that.” Catriona spits back at Syrena. You try to drown the ache, but it isn’t until you hear the door slam that there seems to be a break in the intensity of the feelings.
Finally, you hear a set of footsteps approaching and look to the side to see Syrena looking at you with concern. 
“I’m sorry. I know Cat can be a piece of work sometimes, but I thought she could be more civil than that considering you saved her life at Cliffsbane.” As your breath finally begins to even out, you look to the side and chance a brow at Syrena’s words. 
“She was the last cadet you pulled out of the corridor you were in and watched you take on the venin. I thought between that and Riorson’s recent actions, she could have some compassion or at least understanding; but I see my darling sisterstill has some things to work on.” Syrena finishes as you finally have your breathing back under control.
“It’s not your fault.” You say as your breath catches again in your throat. “I know from experience how hard it can be to let somethings go.”
Syrena scoffs. “Empathy is not a quality my sister excels at, but it seems you have more than enough for the both of you. I can see why Riorson has lost any semblance of niceties now that you aren’t around.”
“I’m not sure that Xaden has a single nice bone in his body, that’s not exactly his strong suit.” You retort letting the sarcasm lace every word.
“Either way, how about you follow me, and we get you fitted for this monstrosity that I know my uncle is going to make you wear.” Syrena says while motioning you to follow her.
You try to keep your facial expressions neutral as the seamstresses begin their work, but it’s impossible. Every single emotion known to man must pass across your face because you watch as Syrena must hide her sniggers behind her hands at your antics.
“Clearly this isn’t something you’re used to.” Syrena muses as you stare down at the seamstress that is measuring from your waist to the floor.
“I would think that is obvious.” You retort as you move your arms as to not knock into one of the seamstresses scurrying around you.
“Well, you’ll get used to it.” That comment causes you to snap your gaze to the secondary heir to the Poromish throne. 
“I beg to differ. Besides, I don’t see why someone that’s fighting in a war will need a fancy gown again.” As the seamstresses finally step away from you, a deep calming breath and drop your arms as you’ve been wanting to do for the last half hour.
“You do know that Riorson is the rightful Duke of Aretia, correct?” Syrena continues as if you haven’t spoken. “When all is said and done, I’m sure he’ll regain the title, if not more. You’ll most likely be expected to dress the part next to him.”
Tripping over your feet, you barely catch yourself before you hit the ground. “What the fuck are you talking about Syrena?” You demand as your emotions begin to rise, clogging your throat with both fear and hope.
“I’m sure you’ll see.” Her cryptic response does nothing to quell the nauseous feeling that has now settled in your stomach. 
About a week later, you find yourself walking back to your room in the palace at Cordyn after your training session for the day. As you shuffle in, the armoire that houses your clothes that must be worn to formal events sits open. Walking towards the door, your eyes immediately fly wide.
Hanging in the open door is an emerald dress that is something you thought you’d only see in your dreams. The gown is made of layers of gauzy fabric with jewels encrusted over the entire bodice with twirling vines of ivy. You stare at the skirt, and you can’t help but wonder if the sheer layers will cover any part of your body. Vines run up and down the bodice with a few hanging into the layers of the skirt and fabric drapes from the bodice into a full skirt. As your eyes continue to trace the dress, you notice the sleeves that will hang off your shoulders and will at least cover some of the black veins that still spider on your arm.
Every ounce of the dress looks as if it is fit for a queen, not a mere soldier barely scrimping by. 
“I believe you’ll look absolutely stunning in that my dear.” The oily rasp of the voice behind you causes you to step back. You turn and stare back into the eyes of Viscount Tecarus.
“If my intel is correct, I believe we will be having a few guests join us this evening.” Tecarus continues coming to step in front of you. “And I’ve come here to tell you what you’re going to do.”
“I see.” You say but your trepidation is clear, even to your own ears. “And what exactly is that?”
“You will be escorted to dinner with Drake; however, you will not make your appearance known until after everyone has joined. There will be a guard to inform Drake of when to enter. You will keep to your chamber between now and then.” There is no denying the calculation that the Viscount has done.
“Once there, you will get the rest of your instructions. I’m unsure of how much Riorson knows about your whereabouts exactly, but from what we’ve pieced together he knows you’re in Poromiel. However, he has made no indication that he knows you’re here.”
“I’m not sure what exactly you think I can do for you with him. As you remember, I was left behind in Resson and from what I can tell, that was that. No one has tried to find me.” You try to explain and keep your voice level. 
As the conversation continues, it takes everything for you not to bolt from the fortress and not look back. Coming face to face with Xaden again is the last thing you want to do. 
“Yes, that may be what you think, but my dear, there are many things you don’t know.” With that, the Viscount walks out of your room but not before giving you a smile that tells you this evening isn’t going to be any fun. 
A few hours later, two ladies’ maids have come to take care of your hair, makeup, and dress you for the evening. Standing fully dressed and looking in the mirror, you are shocked at the reflection that stares back at you. 
The maids have curled your hair and left it half up and down, braids are intricately woven in and out at the top with golden chains woven throughout. Your eyes pop after having been lined with charcoal and the suppleness of your lips are highlighted the dark red of a ripe raspberry. Though the one thing that you can’t stop staring at is the dress that you now don. The emerald color complements your skin immaculately and falls to accentuate every curve of your body.  You’ve never seen yourself look so beautiful, regal even. 
“What my uncle lacks in battle strategy, he certainly makes up for in style.” Drake’s voice drips like honey behind you and you turn quirking your eyebrow. “You look absolutely beautiful, ever the regal queen.”
Even with the compliment, you give him a deadpanned look. “I’m not exactly sure how I’m going to survive this night alive.” He quips, chuckling slightly.
“What is that supposed to mean?” Your irritation barely contained.
“Riorson might just have my head for escorting you.” Drake continues with his jibes. “Especially when everyone’s eyes will be on you.”
“Ha. Ha.” You let the sarcasm drip from your lips like molasses. 
“Seriously though, I’ve already seen the riders that are joining us, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so tightly wound.”
“Him who?” The look Drake gives you makes it obvious that he knows you’re being ridiculous. Letting out a long-suffering sigh, you let yourself slouch feeling defeated even though your night hasn’t even begun.
Looking you over, Drake goes to the dressing table in your room and picks up the necklace that Ceridwen had gifted you. “I need you to remember to wear this whenever you’re around Catriona from now on, do you understand?” The serious look in his eyes causes you not to question his decree and just nod your head in confirmation.
A knock on your door breaks the silence and your heart begins to speed. Breathing has turned into a chore, and you’ve begun pacing back and forth, eyes trained down at the floor and shaking your hands as if trying to dispel the feelings you’re feeling. 
“Hey.” The sternness of the voice the only thing breaking through your reeling thoughts. 
“I know this is going to be a long evening, but I need you to breathe.” Drake soothes taking your hand in his and guiding you to slow your breathing. “Never forget that you don’t have to leave, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. If anything, you should go down there with your head held high and show Riorson the strong and beautiful woman he let disappear.”
It’s all you can do to focus on your breathing and shake your head. Drake begins to walk towards the door and holds out his arm for you to take. Letting yourself move forward slowly and continuing to take deep breaths, you try to remind yourself that whatever happens this evening doesn’t matter. Soon enough Xaden will be on his way home and you’ll be free to throw yourself into the war like you’ve been wanting to, preferably as far away from him as possible. 
Letting your mind wander, you take in the scenery of the palace as you walk. Looking to your left, you watch the shimmering coastline that seems to sparkle with the night sky, though you can feel the heaviness that is settling in the air around you forecasting the coming rain. Watching the waves crash calms your racing thoughts as you continue to walk forward on Drake’s arm.
Far too soon, you stare at a familiar set of doors and your heart has now leapt into your throat. Before the guards open the doors, Drake turns to look at you, his expression serious.
“Before we go in there, I just want to say I’m sorry for whatever happens tonight. It’s important to me that you know I had no part in whatever plan my uncle intends to carry out tonight and I tried my damnedest to keep you as far away from this as possible.” The concern in his eyes shines as he finishes talking. You have no idea what to reply, so you just give his arm a squeeze back in acknowledgement before the doors are opening. 
Turning to face forward, you take a deep, shaking breath as Drake continues to guide you forward and down the stairs. Your free hand is now balled into a fist so tight, you’re unsure if you are drawing blood or not. Descending, you can’t help but feel the weight of the stares of all the people gathered at the palace. Searching left and right, you try your hardest not to encounter the onyx eyes that you haven’t seen in months, the anxiety eating at your very being. 
Drake’s warm hand falls over yours and squeezes bringing your gaze back to his, the gesture grounds you as you continue to walk forward. The small comforting smile that he offers you helping to bring your breathing back under control and alleviate a tinge of the anxiety.
A voice breaks your gaze from Drake’s as you hear the words uttered from further in front of you. “Ah, here’s the other guest that we’ve been waiting on.”
Whirling your head towards the sound of Tecarus’ voice, the breath completely leaves your lungs. In front of you is the last person you ever wanted to see again, but you can’t tear your eyes away. 
Standing before you in a tunic tailored to every line of his body is Xaden Riorson. His hair perfectly windswept and strong features on display for all to see. Though the thing you notice most is the taught lines of his body and the way his eyes look sunken and more tired than you’ve ever seen them as he stands in front of you. The rest of the room seems to fall away as you stare back at each other, him in disbelief and you in resignation.
A fire begins burning in your chest, one you didn’t expect. Anger that you hadn’t realized you were holding onto starts to blaze as you watch Xaden. Your nostrils flare in irritation as your eyes finally move to the woman standing next to him. 
Sorrengail. 
The sneer on your lips comes unbidden, though you don’t let your eyes linger on her before looking to the two others standing next to her. Gaze going between the three, the realization hits you as you notice the similarities in their features, her siblings.
Closing your eyes and taking a calming breath, you open your eyes and bring them to Tecarus, ignoring the way Xaden fidgets as if he is barely keeping himself in place. 
“I believe now is the time to discuss the business we have here.” The male Sorrengail sibling says, obviously trying to break the tension.
You keep your eyes trained on Tecarus, but it’s impossible not to notice the way that Violet tries to get Xaden to step back, as you notice he can’t stop himself from taking steps forward. You roll your eyes at the gesture, of course she would be the one to control him.
A chill crawling up your leg causes you to shiver and look down. Unsurprisingly, shadows swirl at your feet, and you know if you parted your skirt, you would find them shifting around your legs. 
Getting pulled back slightly causes you to look down and realize the tight grip that you had on Drake’s arm as he still held your arm in his. You give him an apologetic look, but it doesn’t last when a black tendril of shadow tugs at your arm as if to pull it from Drake’s grip. 
Pivoting, you send a sharp look to Xaden, a silent command to drop his shadows. However, he doesn’t see it as he is only glaring at your hand that is still holding Drake’s arm and then back at the man himself.
“Now that all our guests have arrived, Riorson, we can continue our discussions for the luminary.” Tecarus says as if he is doing something magnanimous, causing your eyes to roll. 
Violet goes to step up and begins to raise her hands to wield, but she is quickly cut off. “No, no, my dear. I want you to wield from the beautiful arena below. In fact, I have a few things to go through before we start.”
“You,” Tecarus says while pointing to Violet. “Will head down to the arena floor and I have a target I want you to hit with your lightning. If you’re interested in bringing anyone with you, you may - except him.”
Xaden goes to step forward, but for some reason you don’t understand, he seems torn. “Don’t worry Riorson, you won’t need to move from where you are. In fact, things will deteriorate if you do.”
Your brows furrow, but soon enough you have stopped paying attention when you’re grabbed by two guards. As your head swivels left and right trying to understand, you see the murderous look that is plastered on Xaden’s face and the undeniable anger on Drake’s.
“Tsk. Tsk. Don’t move any further if you want that luminary Riorson.” Xaden’s footsteps immediately falter, but his eyes turn to anguish. 
“Fuck the luminary.” Xaden growls as he goes to take another step towards you, but he stops in his tracks when you give him a look telling him ‘No’.
“You, dear Xaden, have one task.” Tecarus looks to you, a disturbing gleam in his eye. “You cannot move from this balcony. If you dare take one step towards the arena, our dearest Y/N will fall to the arena floor.”
As Tecarus finishes, the guards, that grabbed you, push you into a golden cage. You rattle the door you were thrown in, even though you saw it locked behind you. You can’t hide the betrayal on your face and at this point you’re unsure if there is anyone you can trust. 
“That’s what you wanted. To dress me up like a beautiful bird that lives her life in a gilded cage. To dangle me for what? To prove that I don’t matter to any of them? That I don’t matter to him?” The rage building in your heart at the betrayal you’re feeling, an overwhelming monster threatening to tear the entire palace down. 
“And what can I assume you will do if I don’t follow your instructions?” Xaden growls out, the blazing hot fury causing his voice to drop low. 
“You see that’s where the fun begins.” The giddy elation in Tecarus’s voice causes your glare at the disgusting man to intensify. “We get to see who is really more important to you and you get to see what happens when you don’t follow my commands.”
You look down at the arena floor where Violet now stands with her siblings. “Now remember, the minute you make a move towards the arena, the cage opens, and you are responsible for any consequences.” The danger dripping from Tecarus lets you know that he has no intention of letting Xaden get through this unscathed and is taking immense amounts of pleasure from his plan.
Taking time to look at the cage you find yourself in, you notice the latch that you are sitting on and trace the chain that falls from the bottom to a guard standing close to you. A jerk of the cage has you jostling from side to side as the cage begins to move. 
“This is ridiculous uncle. Bring her down right now.” Drake’s voice breaks from the din of whispers that have only gotten louder since your placement in the gilded cage. 
Eyes darting from side to side, you realize that you are now not only caged, but dangling above an arena that is soon going to be covered in lightning. 
“Oh Amari.” The words woosh from your lungs as the certainty of your imminent demise begins to settle in your bones.  
The certainty solidifies as you watch guards bring a chest into the middle of the arena. Watching wearily, your eyes bulge when you watch a venin tumble from the chest. Your gaze swings back to the balcony and watch a satisfied smirk plaster on Tecarus’s face. A movement to the left has you meeting Drake’s gaze, he makes a motion towards the bodice of your dress, and you look down. Unsure exactly how or when, you find yourself in possession of one of the alloyed daggers that you’ve killed the previous venin with. It’s then you know what you must do.
In lieu of Xaden losing his life because of Violet’s death, you make the decision that you’ve been dreading. Standing in the cage and picking up your foot, you drive it down as hard as possible, the heel cracking through the latch on the bottom. 
“Y/N!” A male voice roars your name, but you don’t look to see who it is.
The sensation of falling hits you immediately, but using everything you’d learned at Basgiath, you soften your blow to the ground just the tiniest bit in order to keep from breaking anything. You roll to your feet, and curse the ridiculous dress that you find yourself tangled in. 
Although you know your exit and landing wasn’t that quiet, the venin hasn’t seemed to notice your presence. Your eyes catch Violet’s as you begin to move forward, silently conveying your command for her to keep him talking. Unsheathing the dagger that was held at your ribs, you slowly make your way towards the creature trying to keep your steps measured and slow.
The venin begins to crouch to the ground, and you know you don’t have much time.
“Y/N! NO!” The same male voice repeats, though now there is a hint of absolute desperation and panic.
Running as swiftly as you can in the outrageous skirt of the dress, you bring the dagger up in preparation to strike. Right before you make your move, the venin turns his hand jutting out and grabbing you by the neck his read eyes bulging. 
“Quite the prizes I’ve been led to. The sage will reward me handsomely for bringing both the lightning wielder and the pained one.” He hisses, spittle hitting your face. For a monstrous creature that has been denied the ability to channel for so long, it strikes you how powerful he is still, even in a weakened state. 
“I may be full of pain, but I’ll never meet your master.” You hiss breathlessly as you bring the dagger to slash the venin’s arm. Hissing in pain, the venin drops you to the ground and you cough trying to get breath back into your body.
Taking one deep drag of air, you jolt up and slam the blade of the alloyed dagger into the venin’s chest. A triumphant smile crosses your mouth, but it is short lived when you see the venin raise a dagger that you were unaware he possessed. You take two steps back before the venin slashes the blade across your chest.
“Y/N!” Violet screams, as the awaiting storm finally breaks and soaks everything. As you both drop to the ground, the bright red of the venin’s eyes turns to a dull ruby and his skin begins to grey. Landing fully on the ground, the breath is zipped from your lungs and your hand instinctively goes up to cover the slash across your chest. 
The warm and viscous blood flowing from the wound coats all your fingers as you bring them up to your face to see, the metallic smell wafting to you through the raindrops. 
“Brennan, mend her!” Violet’s voice seems further away than it was before. 
Closing your eyes, you let yourself focus on the feeling of the rain falling down your face instead of focusing on the pain of your injury. Soon enough you drift off, a sense of contentment washing over you. You may not have saved yourself, but you saved those who can better save the continent.
“Y/N, please open your eyes. Please.” A familiar male voice says in a desperate, coaxing tone, though you can’t bring yourself to obey the command. You feel a large, calloused hand stroke your cheek and then card through your hair, finally coming down to lace with your fingers.
“She’ll be fine Xaden. Brennan mended her. You couldn’t ask for her to have been seen to sooner than that.” A female voice tries to coax who you’ve realized is now Xaden.
“You don’t know that.” You can hear the frustration in his tone back at the female. “She almost killed herself trying to save you.”
Reality slams back and you now know that you won’t be opening your eyes for the two people who have haunted you for months. The last thing you need to see is the man you love with the woman that caused you to be forgotten. 
“We need to go anyway. Tecarus is expecting all of us for negotiations.” Violet tries to reason with him.
“I don’t give a fuck.” Each word drips out of his mouth with vicious certainty. A knock on a door seems to halt their conversation.
“Your presence is required for our negotiations I’m afraid.” Your emotions settle as you take note of Drake’s voice breaking the conversation.
“You can tell your fucking uncle he should be glad I didn’t send him to meet Malek today for the stunts he pulled, and I’ll come when Y/N is awake.” Xaden replies in a menacing growl, his fingers tightening on yours as if afraid you’ll disappear if he lets go.
“Look Riorson, you may not believe me, but I agree with you. Everything that happened tonight is despicable.” Drake begins catching you off guard. “But you shouldn’t spit in the direction of Y/N’s sacrifice that she made tonight by not participating in negotiations.”
“If it would be any consolation, I can stay with her until negotiations are done. If for some reason she wakes between now and then, I’ll have someone fetch you immediately. However, in hopes to move things along, we all need this discussion about the luminary to be decided upon.” Drake explains with as much diplomacy as possible.
Silence greets your ears for a few minutes before anyone speaks. 
Drake must’ve given Xaden the confirmation he wanted as a minute later you feel the hand wrapped around yours squeeze tightly and a cool feeling whisps around your wrist, wrapping in tightly.
“Fine. But I’m not leaving her completely. You’ll have to deal with a few shadows if you want me to participate in this bullshit.” Xaden says plainly, though his tone begins to darken at the end. “And you better keep your damn hands to your fucking self Cordella.”
You expect to hear the sound of retreating footsteps, but instead the bed dips and you feel warm breath ghost across your face.
“Y/N, Love, I need you to wake up for me. I promise you I’m not leaving this damned place without you awake and Malek will take me before I fly out of Cordyn without you. Please, my Blaze. Please wake up.” Xaden whispers in your ear before you feel him leave a lingering kiss on your temple. 
The bed shifts again and you hold your breath until you hear the door click shut.
“You aren’t very subtle you know. I can tell you’re awake.” The humor in Drake’s voice is dry. 
Your eyes flutter open and look directly at him. The eye roll and slight shake of your head doesn’t stop the way your mouth ticks up at the corner. 
“What can I say? I was just waiting to have you all to myself.” You tease but the smile doesn’t last as you wince in pain trying to sit yourself up. 
Looking down to the shadow at your wrist, you lift it up with a pointed look. “Did you really need to allow this?”
Drake’s laugh is cynical. “Allow? You may have heard the words Riorson just said but you haven’t been awake for the last 3 hours. If you’d seen what I have, you wouldn’t be pushing too many of his buttons.”
“I highly doubt he enjoyed watching his dear Violet’s life endangered, but I took care of it.” The flat tone of your voice giving away the hurt. 
Swinging your feet to the edge of the bed, you look down to see someone has changed you into a silk sleeping gown. Your hand then goes up as your eyes catch on the new raw scar that slashes across the left side of your chest. Trying to comprehend, you just can’t understand how you’ve evaded Malek’s grip once again. 
“Violet?” Drake chimes in as he walks closer to your side. “Is your whole existence now dependent on avoiding the fact that the man that just left this room is irrevocably in love with you?”
“Don’t.” Your voice drops to a deadly whisper. “You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to judge what I think. You haven’t been around for the last year and a half, or do you not remember that I fucking ran away from that man and my dragon.”
Your voice is gaining in its fire, and you can feel your body begin heating with the anger coursing through every nerve. 
“I-I’m sorry.” Drake hesitantly begins sounding suitably chastised. “I understand that with whatever happened between the two of you, he has a lot to explain and atone for, but did you not see how sunken in his eyes are?”
You drop your head down and let your anger fester. There is no way you’re going to let anyone make you feel bad for leaving, even though there was no mistaking the sallow color to Xaden’s eyes and deep purple smudges below them. 
“Will you at least let me tell you what happened on the balcony? At least let me give you some information before he inevitably comes back.” You give a curt nod, but only because you know that there isn’t any way you can completely evade Xaden, not now. 
“Besides, someone needs to chide you for being as reckless as you were.” Your head jerks up and the look Drake gives you shows he was vastly unimpressed with your performance. “Did you really need to try and kill both me and your shadow wielding, hot head by dropping yourself from that cage?”
You give him a dead-panned look. “What’s the difference? Your uncle dearest wanted to play games, so I bent the rules.”
With a roll of his eyes, Drake goes on to relay the chaos that you were completely unaware of, obviously too engrossed in dispatching a venin and then almost meeting Malek for the second time in just a few weeks.
 The male voice you heard shouting your name was apparently Xaden, both he and Drake, flew to the arenas edge once you started falling. Though Xaden’s focus didn’t stay long on the battle once you killed the venin and were mended, apparently turning to let his wrath at the situation out on the Viscount.
Drake imparts the threats Xaden carried out, wrapping his shadows around Tecarus’s neck and slowly constricting, and the bedlam that followed. He confirms you were mended by Brennan, as Violet had already stated, and then Brennan had carried you up the steps of the arena. 
Somehow Violet had broken through the spell of anger that Xaden was in, and he had immediately turned towards the Sorrengails. Seeing your limp form in Brennan’s arms, Drake confirmed he had taken you from him and stalked off not bothering to say anything to anyone.
“I’m unsure if I’ve ever seen the burning hatred in someone’s eyes shine as brightly as Riorson’s did tonight. I’m unsure of exactly what control he used, but if he had any less, he may have taken out the entirety of the line of succession of Poromiel.” Your head turns cocking an eyebrow at Drake’s words. 
“How exactly did I end up here? And where exactly is here? This isn’t the room I normally stay in.” You ask as you finally look around the room. 
“No, this isn’t your room. This is Riorson’s room from when he used to make regular visits to Cordyn.” Drake confirms.
“You mean when he was engaged to your cousin?” You snipe back, the bitter taste in your mouth causing you to scowl.
“Not engaged. Betrothed. Not something I chose.” Xaden’s voice causes you to jump and your head to turn swiftly towards the door that has just opened. 
The minute his eyes meet yours, the way they soften and swirl with a plethora of emotions, has your heart breaking in your chest. Your head drops down and you stand, immediately trying to leave the room. 
“No.” The word leaves his mouth breathlessly and he’s crossing the room quickly stopping you from going anywhere. “Please Blaze – please stay.”
Of all the ways you’ve heard Xaden talk, in the years knowing and loving him, you had never heard his voice so broken. 
“Why?” The word passes your lips before you can stop it, but now that it has you know there is no way to take it back. 
Pulling back from Xaden’s grip, you look up into the eyes you had been avoiding. A sigh leaves your mouth, though you can feel your chest tighten, as you see the anguish and sorrow clearly on his face. The man in front of you has never looked so lost, broken, and utterly defeated.
“Do you know how long I was waiting for you to sound so desperate for me in the last year?  To not feel like you had forgotten about my existence? Did you even realize the way you left me behind?” The questions rush from your lips in a torrent, and you have to bite down on your lips to avoid more from spilling.
Have you broken Xaden Riorson?
Is the only thought you manage to have as you watch the tears slip down his cheeks.
Your head is spinning with the emotion that is ripping from the man in front of you. As much as your brain holds onto the anger that had settled in you, your heart is shattering watching him crumble before your eyes. Your hand comes to your chest as your throat begins to close trying to hold back your own tears. 
Your vision begins to swim with tears as suddenly Xaden moves. He crashes to his knees as he grabs you by the waist crushing you to him so tightly you know there will be bruises there tomorrow, though you don’t focus on that when you hear the sob tear from his throat.
 Standing there frozen in place, your emotions war within you on whether to push him away or try to comfort him. In the end your heart wins out and you rake your hand through his hair. The gesture causes his breath to catch in his throat and his hold on you to tighten even further. 
Bringing your hand down and placing your fingers under his chin, you tilt his head up to look him in the eyes. As he does, you can’t help but trace the tears still falling from his eyes wiping them as they continue to dampen his cheeks.
“Xaden.” Your voice comes out as a calming whisper. “You need to breathe for me, alright?”
He gives a short nod as he tries to calm his breathing while still being plastered to you. Your fingers absentmindedly stroke his cheeks, keeping a steady rhythm to help soothe him. 
As his breathing begins to level, he takes both of your hands in his and kisses your palms slowly rising to his feet. 
Not letting go of your hands, he pulls you to the bed and sits you down next to him. You try to pull your hands away, acutely aware that Violet could walk in at any second, but he tightens his grip further. 
“Y- you d-don’t know h-how long I’ve been dreaming of seeing you again.” The confession comes out in a stuttered whisper as Xaden continues to pull your hands forward trying to tug you closer and calm his emotions. 
You can’t help the incredulous look you give him. After everything that had happened over the last year, you never believed that Xaden would even care about seeing you again.
“Forgive the brashness Xaden, but I have a hard time believing that with everything that happened at the end of our relationsh-.” As you finish, Xaden doesn’t try to hide the way his breath hitches as you draw a line in the sand of your relationship, but he quickly cuts you off. 
“Don’t.” The word comes out with such force you immediately rear back a bit. “That wasn’t the end. This isn’t either.” He says firmly brooking no argument. 
As he finishes, your head cocks to the side and the look you give him is filled with resignation. “I don’t think you’re allowed to make that call alone. Besides, I’m sure Violet wouldn’t want to hear that.”
At the mention of the silver-haired girl, Xaden picks up his hand and grabs your face with deliberate force, directing you too look candidly into his eyes. “I don’t give a fuck what Violet wants. My relationship is none of her fucking business.”
You scoff and try to pull your face away. “I believe it is her business if she’s part of that relationship.”
A frustrated growl slips from his lips as he gets a better grasp on your face. “I’m. Not. With. Violet.” Each word is punctuated through grit teeth.
“More fool me then. Left behind for someone you aren’t even with.” You can feel yourself getting nasty, the attitude and anger lying dormant rising to the surface.
“I’m sorry.” Between the words and the way Xaden is looking at you, it’s as if a cold bucket of water has been poured on you and doused the fire that had begun to race through your veins.
“Excuse me?” You ask incredulously, furrowing your brows because you’ve never heard Xaden say those words.
Xaden takes a deep breath, and confusion becomes shock as he grabs you and pulls you on his lap, his forehead resting on the side of your head as his hands wrap tightly around your waist. “I’m. so. fucking. sorry.” The words leave his mouth punctuated slowly as if to convey their importance. 
He raises his head, and you turn to look him in the eyes. “There aren’t enough words in this world for me to tell you how fucking sorry I am. I’ll apologize to you every damn day for the rest of our lives, but I need you with me.”
After being hurt so thoroughly by this man, you find yourself unable to stop throwing words in his face. “I’m certain that the last year has proven quite the opposite.”
Your words clearly strike a nerve when he flinches, though the movement doesn’t last long. 
“I deserve every ounce of your ire. All the pain you’ve felt tenfold.” He says simply. “And I will gladly accept every ounce of venom you can toss my way. Use daggers if you want to. Make me bleed. But please, come with me.”
“I can’t.” The words are out of your mouth in an instant. There is no way you’re just going to fold to the man in front of you. “Pretty words aren’t going to fix this.”
The look of anguish on Xaden’s face makes your gut twist and your chest feel too tight. 
“They aren’t just pretty words.” The pleading and anguish in his voice is on full display. 
“Your actions for the last year spoke louder than all the words you’ve ever told me. No matter how much I want to believe them.” An emotion flashes in Xaden’s eyes, but it’s gone before you can decipher it.
“Gods Xaden, we’re even having this discussion in a place that you’d been aiding for years, but did I know anything about it. No!” Your voice begins to rise as you gesture around the room. “You’ve been aiding Poromiel, been betrothed to an heir to the throne, and when things blew up in Resson did you even notice my reaction? Or was calming the lightning wielder down just that more important?”
“You think I don’t know how much I’ve fucked up? I’ll spend from now until I meet Malek showing you that needing you isn’t just pretty words. That all the things you didn’t know were not because I didn’t want to tell you, but because I wanted to keep you protected.” The words become harsh as Xaden’s conviction begins to solidify. “You are as vital to me as the fucking air that I breathe, and I haven’t taken a full breath since I realized you were gone. I know I fucked up for the last year. Hell, probably even longer than that, but nothing in this world is more vital to me than you.”
Your eyes dart back and forth between Xaden’s eyes looking for lies, but it hits you suddenly he looked at you the same way for years not giving away any of his secrets.
“I want to believe you. Really, I do.” You start. “But this time you’re going to have to show me, before we are anything again – if we even can be.”
“I’ll do anything you want me to do, but you have to come with me back to Aretia. I want to take you home. To my home and I want to make it yours.” Xaden has slowly walked back towards you leaving little space in between, the scent that you always associated with comfort, mint, leather and the essence of him assaults your nostrils and it takes everything you have to not bury your face in his chest.
“I’ll give you this.” You begin taking a few steps back out of his orbit. “You’ll have the opportunity to show me that what you’re saying is the truth, but I’m not coming with you to Aretia.”
His arm shoots out trying to drag you back to him, but you put up a hand to stop him. “No. If you want any chance at all, you’ll respect my decision.” 
Turning around one last time before exiting his room you look up at the man that brings you both comfort and tears. 
“I’ll always love you, Xaden.” Your voice is quiet as you leave him with parting words, sadness coloring the lines of your face. “But this time you’re going to have to be the one fighting, because I refuse to be forgotten again.”
With that, you let the door fall closed behind you but not before you see the absolute look of desperation on Xaden’s face. Walking away a few paces, you can’t help but overhear the shout of agony from the room you just left as you let the tears flow down your cheeks.
“Come on.” A gentle voice says as you continue down the corridor. Your head turns to the voice as a blanket is thrown over your shoulders and the now familiar warmth of Drake settles over your shoulders. “Let’s get you back to your room for some rest.”
Days later after the delegation from Aretia has left, you are walking in the garden trying to clear your mind from the reeling it’s been doing since Xaden stepped back into your life. As you walk, you let your hand trace over the beautiful roses that line the path, taking in the overabundance of colors that strike against the backdrop of the white palace. 
You close your eyes trying to absorb the smell of the roses and calm your racing mind, but the peace doesn’t last long. A shriek comes from inside the palace causing your head to jerk in the direction and your eyes fly wide. 
Coming in at a rate too fast to seem friendly is a dragon on a collision course with the palace. On your left and right you watch as gryphons launch in the air. You stare with wide eyes, you breath stuck in your throat, as the gryphons descend towards the incoming threat. 
Soon enough though the gryphons turn and come towards the palace as well in the formation of an escort. Your brow furrows as you wonder who exactly has returned to Cordyn so soon. 
‘No one, Loyal One. I’m here for you.’ A crisp female voice races through your mind. 
Your eyes flare as you look towards the incoming dragon, familiarity hitting you like a stone as you watch the coppery sheen of your brown swordtail coming closer and closer.
‘Dhìoch. H-how?’ You don’t need to finish the sentence of how she knew you were here.
‘Sgaeyl. You didn’t think the Brooding One was going to let you be alone with the enemy, did you?’ You mentally curse Xaden and his inability to leave well-enough alone.
‘There’s plenty he doesn’t know.’ You snark, although your mind begins to race as you realize your dragon just might burn you to the ground for your actions.
‘I see that, Loyal One. You have been busy these past months, even without any powers. I knew I was right in my choice, although many have questioned me since your abrupt departure.’ There’s no mistaking the anger in Dhìoch’s eyes as she lands in the garden, talons digging up the gently manicured bushes you were just admiring.
‘I’m sorry Dhìoch, but I just couldn’t stand it any longer. I figured you just severed our bond and found a more worthy rider.’ Even your mental voice becomes small, your own insecurities shining through.
‘You do not apologize.’ Dhìoch says surprising you. ‘Although you were reckless and abrupt, I understand why you did what you did.’
‘However, if you ever think you can leave me again, I will burn you and we will burn together.’ There’s no evading the scathing look from the beautiful, bronzed creature in front of you and there is no way you are going to challenge her threat.
‘I understand Dhìoch and I won’t allow myself to become that forgotten girl again.’ You confirm and Dhìoch sends an acknowledging hum through the bond.
With Dhìoch back at your side, you spend days working on repairing your shields and practicing your signet. It doesn’t take long as everything moves through you like a stream that had been denied water, the feeling of being whole again finding its way to you.
Syrena and Drake spend time training with you when they are in Cordyn and thankfully let you know whenever there will be a new drop of daggers. Between trying to avoid Catriona before she left for Aretia and then trying to avoid Xaden, you find yourself always playing a game of hide and seek. 
Unfortunately, when you are playing against a shadow wielder, you luck is more often than not, terrible.
“Blaze.” Your eyes immediately roll as you continue walking back to the training fields itching to get away from him. But the man of shadows will have none of it. A cool whisp wraps around your wrist and tugs causing your steps to tumble slightly backwards and into the chest of the man basically running you down. 
“Will you stop calling me that.” Your voice rasps in irritation at the man now holding you by your waist against his chest.
Before you can so much as turn, he buries his face in the side of your neck and his arms slither all the way around your frame before you hear a breathy response. “No.”
“Why?” You ask tersely as you try to pry yourself free.
“Because there is no alternative I will accept, then you burning with me. You’ve always been an all-consuming flame, whether passion or hatred and I’ll never let your blazing glory go.” Xaden says, his lips brushing your ear as he speaks.
Huffing, you are finally able to tear yourself from his grip. “Is there something you needed? Or are you just here to torment me?”
You don’t miss the way he flinches at your scathing tone, but you’re in no mood. 
“I’m making another drop.” He says simply.
“Aren’t there other people in this group of yours that could do such a menial task?” You ask as your hand gestures about showing your aggravation.
“Of course there is. This man just can’t help himself from being subjected to your company.” Drake interjects as he walks next to the both of you earning a glare from Xaden and an eye roll from you.
“Well let me not subject you to anything, I was just on my way out.” 
“Wait.” Xaden stops you with a hand wrapped around your wrist.
“What? Sgaeyl didn’t give you your report from Dhìoch?” His eyes flaring the only indication that he knows what you mean.
“Exactly. Don’t think I don’t know why my dragon suddenly knew where I was.” You say pointedly. “I’m going on patrol, Drake, I’ll be back later.”
“I’ll come with you.” Xaden says walking to your side.
You whir on him and a sneer leaves your lips. “You, sir, are not enrolled in service to the Poromish, so I don’t think you will.”
“No, I’m not, but I wasn’t asking your permission either.” Xaden steps into your space and you immediately let go a growl and stomp away in the direction of your dragon.
As you make it to the flight field of the palace you can’t stop yourself as you turn. 
“What are you trying to accomplish?” You challenge.
Xaden huffs his own frustrated sigh, raking his fingers through his hair. “I’m trying to prove to you that you are my fucking world. But for some reason, you won’t give me the time of day.”
A humorless laugh leaves your lips. “I won’t give you the time of day. That’s rich coming from you.”
Xaden finally realizes exactly what he said and immediately turns sheepish. You just roll your eyes at the brooding idiot in front of you.
“Let’s go if you’re coming.” The exasperation in your voice is high as you acquiesce to Xaden. His eyes immediately light up and he pulls you to him placing a lingering kiss to your hair. A breathless ‘thank you’ leave his lips before he turns and seamlessly mounts Sgaeyl. 
You shake your head at the last few minutes and immediately mount DhĂŹoch for your patrol.
This process now seems to repeat every time Xaden makes a weapons drop to Cordyn. Though you get a reprieve for a week at a time when he is clearly stationed at an outpost. 
Walking into a strategy meeting, your brows furrow as you look at the serious looks on the faces of Syrena and Drake. Looking between the two, you know whatever they are discussing isn’t going to be good news.
“Some intel we have seems to point to them heading to Pavis for some reason.” Your ears immediately perk up at the mention of the town you spent weeks in after Resson.
“We are spread thin though, we can only spare one or two fliers to station there.” Drake says not taking his eyes off the map.
“Send me.” There’s no hesitation in your voice as all three heads turn your way. “I’ll be reinforcements. Besides, the only thing going on here seems to be wyvern patrols.”
“Are you sure you’re up for that? We won’t have much back up for you.” Drake questions as he studies you.
“I’m sure. I owe it to the people of the town that took me in without question.” The finality of your voice must convey your seriousness.
“Alright. Though you may need to go alone at first before we can split a squad.” Syrena says as if that would change your mind.
“That’s not a problem. I’ll go start packing.” Immediately rising, you walk briskly towards the bedroom that you’ve called home the last two months.
“Are you trying to avoid a certain shadow wielder’s drop tomorrow?” Drake says as he leans in the door frame. A huff leaves you as you shake your head at his question. 
“No, actually. This has nothing to do with him. I owe Red and Ceridwen more than they’ll ever realize.” You stop packing to look back at Drake. The thought of seeing the people who became surrogate parents spurring your rush. “I’ll do everything I can to make sure they are safe.”
Drake gives you a knowing smile while pushing off the door. “I know you’ll take care of them the best way you can.”
As he turns, he throws over his shoulder, “though I don’t know how we’ll survive when your incendiary loverboy finds out you aren’t here.”
The comment causes you to burst out in a fit of laughter before replying. “Oh, I have faith that you can figure it out.”
Drake waves you off as he continues down the hallway and you go back to packing.
A few hours later you find yourself taking a deep breath and enjoying the freedom of flying, while trying to stop from thinking about what you may be walking into. As DhĂŹoch begins her descent, you cannot help the beaming smile that lights your face seeing the tavern in the distance.
‘Do you think you’d be willing to meet the people who took me in?’ Hesitently asking Dhìoch down the bond.
‘I’d be willing to show my appreciation to the people who looked after you.’ Dhìoch hums in response and your smile grows a little wider.
DhĂŹoch comes to a stop not far from the front of the inn and you dismount quickly hoping to alert the owners inside without drawing too much ire from the rest of the residents. As you step into the tavern, the smell of roasting meats and stale alcohol hit your nostrils and your nose scrunches in memory.
Noting the lack of either of the people you are looking for, you knock on the bar and call out in a harsh voice. “Can’t anyone get some service around here.”
The heavy thump of a cup hitting a table makes you smirk as you watch Red come from the back, a look of irritation on his face. Though the look doesn’t last long as the minute he recognizes you he smiles widely almost as if welcoming hope his daughter. The warmth that settles in your chest has you smiling right back to him. 
“Ceridwen.” He calls to the kitchen. “Come and see what the gryphon dragged in.”
“What are you talking ab-“Ceridwen’s words are cut off as she sees you standing at the bar. “Oh, my dear, I’m so happy to see you.”
It takes less than ten seconds to be swept up into Ceridwen’s hug as you hear Red’s warm laugh behind you. You haven’t smiled so much in the last few months, let alone the last year. 
Your heart continues to warm hours later as you sit at a table in the tavern deep in conversation with the two.
“If I would’ve known that introducing you to Drake would put you in so much danger, I would’ve contacted someone else.” Red grumbles next to you. 
“You can’t blame it all on Drake, I did ask and require him to take me.” Your reassurance does nothing to quell Red’s thoughts on this issue if his huff is anything to go by.
“So how long will you be here?” Ceridwen asks though you can see the worry in her eyes.
“Hopefully not long, and if we are lucky, the intel that was given is false.” You say as you smile, but this time it doesn’t reach your eyes.
“Either way,” Red says, clapping you on his back as he begins to walk towards his chambers. “We’ll sleep better at night knowing that you and your dragon will be here watching out for us.”
You squeeze Ceridwen’s hand and send them both a small smile as you begin to turn and walk to your own bed. As you sink into the mattress you can’t help but take a deep breath, relishing in the warm feeling of familiarity and comfort.
True to their words, a few days later a pair of fliers come into the tavern looking for you, relaying your orders from Drake. Though you look up in shock when the man himself walks into the tavern not long after they had finished.
“Why are you here?” You ask in obvious confusion. “Jesper and Tusarr just told me everything I needed to know as far as orders.”
“Wonderful.” He clasps his hands, and you can see the agitation rolling off him only causing your confusion to continue. “I’m glad that has been cleared up, but that isn’t why I’m here. Unfortunately, I’m here on a personal matter regarding you.”
You quirk an eyebrow in invitation for him to continue.
“I don’t know what magic you’ve used, but it seems we’ve almost had another international incident with your rabble-rousing paramour.” You honestly feel like you’re in some sort of book, shaking your head slightly, Drake must be joking.
“The shadow wielder just about tore down the entire palace when he learned you weren’t in Cordyn. Though with his temper there was not time to explain to him that we knew where you were.”
Now a humorous smile is stretching across your face, and you can’t help when the laugh you’ve been trying to hold in bubbles out.
“I knew that you could embellish things, but this seems extreme, even for you Drake.” You say between laughter as your hand comes up to grasp Drake on the shoulder. Though your laugh begins to die down when you see the look on Drake’s face.
“O-Oh.” You stutter in amazement. “You really are serious.”
The indignant scoff he gives you is only broken off by the slamming of a door against the tavern wall. You both turn your head quickly as the air in the tavern turns icy with anger. 
“Why are you always with him?” The question comes out in a growl as the disgruntled man stalks towards you as if he’s the predator and you’re his prey.
Your eyes flash in challenge, after everything over the last year, you refuse to back down. 
Turning away from Xaden, you direct your next statement to Drake. “Thanks Drake. I’ll take it from here and I’ll speak with you again before you leave regarding the next few weeks.”
Drake gives you a curt nod and a small uptick of his mouth, turning away from Xaden and back out the door of the tavern. Taking a deep breath, you slowly turn your head and look up to meet the stare of the most insufferable man in your life, at the moment at least. 
“What the fuck is your problem?” You snap at Xaden while straightening your spine. You relish in the surprise that flashes in his eyes when you step up into his space. 
“My problem. You just fucking left Cordyn and didn’t say a fucking word.” Xaden gets out between grit teeth.
“Here’s the problem Xaden.” Your tone short. “You think you have a say in where I go. You aren’t my wingleader anymore. I do not report to the cadre at Basgiath or in Aretia or whatever the gods names you are part of, so I don’t see where I’m stationed or move to is any of your business.”
You watch as his jaw ticks and you can feel the tension in his muscles from where he stands close to you. 
“I am more than aware of all of that. I am aware that I have no right to know where you are.” The anger in his voice is present, but his eyes tell a different story. In his onyx depths you can see the fear and panic swirl in and out of their golden flecks. “But for my own fucking sanity, I need to know.”
The last part comes out as little more than a whisper. An admission that looks like it may have cost the man in front of you his entire being. Xaden takes a shaky breath before closing his eyes.
“I have no right to demand anything from you, and I know that. But I about went out of my fucking mind when I searched for you, and you were nowhere in Cordyn.” He takes a small breath before the emotion clogging his throat stops him.
An arm shoots out and forcefully pulls you forward, his arms wrapping around you in a vice grip. “I ca- I can’t lose you like that again. You can’t just disappear.” The last part is a whisper in your ear as his face comes to burrow in your hair.
You stand there for a few moments unsure exactly what to do. After the night in Cordyn, you thought the way Xaden acted was just from the shock of finally seeing you again, but with this, you realize there is something more to it.
Finally giving in for just a moment, you bring your arms around Xaden’s waist and return the hug. You hear his breath hitch from where his face is still buried in your hair and his arms hug you tighter. 
“Truthfully, I wasn’t trying to hide from or scare you.” You tell him, your tone gentle. “There’s been intel given and I chose to come back here. This place is special to me.”
Xaden picks up his head looking at you with furrowed brows as you finish and give a labored sigh. 
“After I left Resson, I traveled on foot for a few days and found myself here. I worked in this tavern for a few months before the owner, Red, put me in contact with Drake to assist with the war effort.” Xaden watches you explain, and you see the hurt on his face at your tale of your own exploits after Resson. 
“Someone could’ve killed you if they knew you were a rider.” Xaden’s panic is palpable, and you huff a laugh.
“At the time, I didn’t really care.” Xaden’s eyes flash before he’s dragging you into another hug, crushing you even harder than before.
“Though I have to ask one question.” You say as you pull away from Xaden’s hold. “If I didn’t disappear, would you be acting this way? Would you be fighting for me like you are now?”
The look on Xaden’s face makes you shake your head and move a few steps away putting much needed space between the two of you.
“Exactly.” Resigned, you continue, maybe because you want to add salt to the wound making him suffer like you did. “While I was here, I was welcomed. Hell, I’d go out on a limb and say I’m loved. And you dare to be jealous of Drake, when he’s done nothing but look after me for the last few months.”
“Gods Xaden. Is there any us to go back to?” The bitterness in your voice cutting like the blade of your sheathed dagger.
“Don’t say that.” Xaden utters, a quiet plea.
“Why? It’s the truth. You’re trying to atone for something that I don’t even know if we can get past. How can I trust that when push comes to shove, I’ll be your priority?”
“Fuck! I know!” He says, his anger getting the best of him. “Do you not understand how angry I am at myself for the way I treated you. For the way I let you be left behind.”
Xaden begins pacing franticly in a way you’ve never seen before. “I’ve woken up every fucking day – when I did even fall asleep - replaying all the fucking ways I’ve failed you. The one person I never wanted to neglect; is the one person I wholeheartedly failed the most.”
“And no, I can’t change all my shitty actions. I can’t do anything but try to gain your trust back for the rest of my fucking life. I would gladly take a scar for every way that I’ve hurt you than lose you forever. You are the only sunshine I’ve found in a life that’s been filled with nothing but rainstorms and darkness. I’ll do whatever I can to prove to you that I’m worthy of you. That you are my only priority.” As he was speaking Xaden grabbed your hands in his and continued to drag his thumbs over your wrists, grounding you to the feeling of him. 
Tipping back your head and closing your eyes to take a moment for yourself, you try to clear your mind from all the hurt that you’ve felt. To wade through the overwhelming swath of emotions. 
But your head jerks up and eyes go wide as you hear the sirens blare. Pulling your hands from Xaden, you yell for Jesper and Tusarr telling them to find Drake.
As you sheath the few weapons you had left behind the counter, you look back to Xaden. “We can discuss this more later, but you need to leave. That’s the attack siren and if Dhìoch is correct we only have about twenty minutes.”
He looks at you with steel in his eyes. “I’m not fucking leaving.”
“Yes, you are.” You say back with finality. “You aren’t even supposed to be here and this isn’t your fight. You need to get back to your own riot.”
“I’m not fucking leaving you here to fight alone.” Xaden hisses through grit teeth as you both walk out of the tavern.
You turn and pull him down by the lapels on his jacket. “Yes. You. Are.” Steel in your gaze and words. “This is not your fight. This is Poromiel, not Navarre, not Aretia, not Tyrrendor. Go home and defend it.”
You let go and get two steps before his hand wraps around your wrist and pulls you backwards. 
“I’m going to get the rest of my riot from Draithus and will be right back.” He explains, his face directly in yours. “Do not be reckless.”
Before you can give him a sarcastic sass back, you are plastered to his chest, his hands in your hair at the nape of your neck, and he’s kissing you with a ferocity you’ve never felt from him. You gasp as the kiss ends as quickly as it began and he’s tearing himself away and mounting Sgaeyl.
You blink a few times and then shake your head, trying to clear it before running for DhÏoch. 
‘You need to clear your head for battle.’ Dhìoch sasses, clear amusement in her tone.
‘And you need to learn to tell me when Sgaeyl is here and bringing around her infuriating rider.’ You snark back with an irritated sneer to the back of your dragon’s head.
‘He may be infuriating, but he still has your heart racing.’ You roll your eyes at your dragon’s need to maneuver in to your personal life. 
Your banter with your dragon is cut short when you see an entire hoard of wyvern in the distance heading straight towards Pavis. 
‘Are you ready for this Dhìoch?’ You ask, your mind calculating on the best ways to strike.
‘We will not fail. Now brace yourself Loyal One.’ Dhìoch says before shooting straight towards the hoard.
Your heart rate kicks up as the prospect of your first battle back with your dragon begins. 
‘Can you relay the information to the gryphons to help evacuate the citizens and we’ll handle the hoard?’ You direct.
‘Done, they are working to put them in the safe houses.’ Dhìoch confirms as she cuts through the air with a precision you admire. 
As you get closer, your eyes widen at the amount of venin atop the wyvern. You try to count, but you lose it at five. Gears clicking in your mind, you take a mental tally of the alloyed daggers you have on you and know you must keep them close. Having only three will limit your ability to throw. 
‘Are you ready Dhìoch? I’m going to need you to fly as close to the wyvern as possible.’ You ask as you go over the plan in your head.
‘I don’t believe the Brooding One would agree with your plan, but yes we will take these abominations down.’ You ignore Dhìoch’s tease and reach for her power.
As you feel the sensation of her power fill your veins you look down to see your fingers disappear from view. Once you can feel yourself fully cloaked, you carefully stand and walk as close to the juncture of Dhìoch’s leg and wing. As Dhìoch begins to hover, you duck to avoid scorching blue fire as it sizzles through the air above you and immediately slide down off her back.
Landing on the back of one of the smaller wyverns, you crouch and try to gain your balance as best as possible. The small form in front of you wears purple leathers and you assume this must be one of their students. Without giving the venin time to turn around, you fling one of your three daggers and hit it in the back of the neck. You watch as the blood flows and the venin goes limp. Before you can jump, you feel the wyvern you are on begin to rapidly descend. 
Immediately rising to your feet, you don’t think and just jump though you know you are too close to the wyverns falling body.
‘Dhìoch!’ Your mental voice is panicked as you are unsure where your dragon is currently. The panic doesn’t last long as you suddenly feel talons wrap around you. Drawing a ragged, grateful breath when you see the coppery sheen above you.
‘You should trust me more than that.’ Dhìoch says in an offended tone as she tosses you up and catches you on her back.
Scoffing, you can’t help but roll your eyes. ‘Yes, well I wasn’t expecting that wyvern to go into freefall.’
You get back into your seat and DhĂŹoch begins to climb above the battle again. Looking down, you can see a venin on the way into the heart of town. Panic begins to rise when you realize that Ceridwen and Red are in the perfect collision course for the venin.
‘You must take me down Dhìoch. I won’t let anything happen to them.’ You can feel your terror begin to take over at the thought of something happening to the couple that took you in.
‘Get them out and then come right back. I will not let you get drained on the ground.’ Dhìoch growls, her disapproval evident. 
DhÏoch begins her descent, and you know this will be a running landing. Throwing up a quick prayer to Zinhal, you rise from her back and head back to her shoulder. As she hits to the perfect height, you let yourself fall and with more ease than you expected, you are immediately running towards the tavern. 
“Red! Ceridwen! Get out now!” You yell at the top of your lungs racing for the front of the tavern. 
Ceridwen darts out of the front door with a small satchel in tow. Behind her your eyes widen as Red dons his brown leathers and is sheathing a sword to his back.
“You should be taking shelter with Ceridwen!” You yell at him as soon as he’s in earshot.
He gives you a look that shows he is anything but impressed. “No, I should be fighting for you and Ceridwen both and that is what I intend to do.”
Ceridwen comes next to you and puts a hand on your forearm. “You’re fighting a losing battle my dear, so instead of wasting any time, let’s go.”
You shake your head and begin pulling Ceridwen along. ‘Dhìoch can you tell Tusarr to help get Ceridwen to safety.’ A low growl in your head is the only response before you hear the screech of a gryphon landing. 
“Go with Tusarr, she’ll take you to the others. I’ll take care of Red the best I can.” You say to Ceridwen before she tugs you close in a tight hug.
“Take care of yourself, my dear, and don’t worry about Red, he can take care of himself.” She says before letting you go and repeating the same process with Red.
‘Alright Dhìoch, let’s take down some more of these dark wielders.’ You say as you run towards an opening for Dhìoch to land.
As you see her scales come into view, you turn, and your eyes fly wide. In the few minutes since leaving Red behind a venin has materialized and is staring him down. Letting Dhìoch’s power flow, you mask yourself and begin sprinting toward Red’s side. 
Getting closer you see him locked in battle and as much as you don’t want to admit it to yourself, his strength seems to be waning. 
Your heart stops and eyes go wide as you watch the venin slash down Red’s arm with a dagger that was just dripping with a green liquid.
“NO!” The scream rips from your lips as Red slashes his sword towards the venin slashing at its throat. As you slowly get closer you can see Red’s movements becoming sluggish.
Please Malek, no! Take me instead!
‘Dhìoch you need to get Red to the healers and tell Drake to get him healed.’ You demand of your dragon. 
Not taking your eyes from the venin still managing to stand, you stalk forward, cloaked and invisible. Your face contorted in rage, you continue running and pull the alloyed dagger from your ribs. Without stopping, you barrel into the venin with your dagger leading straight into his chest. The venin hisses at the impact and the dive of your blade. Blood rushing in your ears, you fall with the venin, and it isn’t until you roll, now looking up at the sky that a familiar burning pain breaks through at your wrist.
You don’t need to look down to know that some of the poison is now in your system, but you won’t let them win. You won’t let the venin take Pavis without a fight. Slowly rising to your feet and looking at your surroundings., the town that you have loved is now alight in flames surrounded with a thick smoke, suffocating the beautiful town center. 
‘I am on my way to you, Loyal One.’ Dhìoch confirms as you begin to jog towards an area for her to land.
As soon as you see Dhìoch’s talons hit the ground, you start running for her leg. Your breathing is coming in rapid pants as you try to ignore the burn in your arm. 
‘You need to be seen by a healer as well.’ Dhìoch growls as you tear a strip from your shirt and wrap your wrist.
‘No. I will save these people first, with or without your help.’ You demand without feeling any remorse for your biting tone.
You can feel Dhìoch’s displeasure at your response down the bond, but she doesn’t press. Instead, she flies back into the din, the stifling smell of smoke rising from the ground and clouding your vision. As though Zinhal hears your pleas, there is a break in the smoke on the horizon and you spot a venin with its robes billowing in the wind.
‘That one’s next.’ You refuse to hear any argument from Dhìoch as you set your sights on the enemy in front of you. Dhìoch slices through the air and as you grow closer to the venin, you can see the brilliant red that spiders from the creature’s eyes down the sides of its face.
Dhìoch clearly has read your intentions and begins her ascent to hover over the massive wyvern that has your next target. As she levels out, you begin to lower to her shoulder but can’t bite back a sharp intake of breath when your wrist moves, the poison making its presence known. You try to avoid the sting and crouch before launching yourself from Dhìoch’s back.
For a few seconds you are airborne and hoping that you estimated the correct spot. You don’t have long to worry as you feel your feet hit the leathery surface of the wyvern. You let your entire body drop as you try to gain your balance on the creature. 
Looking up, your eyes fly wide realizing that the venin can see you and is looking directly into your eyes.
“Ah, the pained one again makes an appearance. Tell me, do you really think you can win this challenge?” The oily voice that drags from the venin in front of you draws shivers down your spine.
You don’t respond as you know there is no reason. The venin slowly stalks towards you, wind whipping at their robes with two blades drawn. Assessing the way the venin moves; you know that you’ll have to be quick.
‘Make sure you’re below me Dhìoch, just in case.’ You hear the hum of agreement in your mind as you draw your blade.
‘Dispatch the dark wielder quickly. You need to get back to the flyer captain.’ You hear the slight concern in Dhìoch’s voice.
You continue using Dhìoch’s power to remain cloaked, although you’re unsure of how much use it Is against the venin. Creeping forward you hold an alloy hilted dagger in your right hand. Letting the thought linger too long, you must go on the defensive when the venin strikes first, and the bite of a dagger slashes close to your face. 
Ducking down, you feel your foot slip slightly on the leathery back of the wyvern. Without thinking through your moves, you slam a dagger into the back of the wyvern to avoid falling. The minute it embeds, the wyvern bucks and you can do nothing but hold on as best you can, your wrist burning with fury. Regrettably, the venin does not seem to be affected by the wyverns thrashing. You watch as they continue to get closer and try to throw your right leg up and regain your balance. 
Pulling yourself up, you don’t see as the venin brings one of its blades down and though you move quickly, it isn’t quick enough to evade the blade completely. An agonizing scream tears from you as the blade pierces your side.
‘Loyal One, finish it!’ Dhìoch demand is covered in icy dread as you try to push past the pain. 
Taking as deep of a breath as you can, you gather your remaining strength and duck as the venin goes to slash at your other side. A loud roar sounds that causes the venin to turn its head and you take the opportunity to bury your remaining alloyed dagger into its throat. 
The venin coughs and sputters grabbing at its throat, but you watch as the skin around it begins greying and shriveling.
“You bitch!” The venin gasps and lunges towards you. Losing your balance, you trip backwards and find yourself falling from the leathered surface of the wyvern. A particularly fiery jolt of pain slashes through you as you begin falling and you watch as your arms raise, and you can see you are no longer invisible.
“Y/N!” A voice calls in the distance and you turn to see a blur of blue. As your mind is drug down with poison, you barely have the cognizance to call out for Dhìoch. 
You hear air furiously whipping around you and all the breath tumbles from your lungs when you hit a rough surface hard. The impact has your vision going completely black as your body jerks from the impact. 
With all the poison coursing through your veins, it proves impossible to open your eyes, but you can feel that your body is still rolling. The only thought left is that those you care about are safe before you succumb to the darkness.
You feel your consciousness pull forward, even though your body feels like a thousand weights are tied to it, even your eyelids feel tethered. The roughness that you remember last seems to be replaced with something soft and the fire in your veins only a light hum. The exhaustion of your mind and body don’t keep your conscious state around long as you feel yourself drift again. 
Unsure of how long you’ve been in a state of poisoned dissidence you finally feel as if you can move your small extremities. You take the time to try and wiggle your fingers and toes, but your eyelids still feel like they have anchors attached. You try straining to hear any sounds around you, but everything still feels slightly muffled.
“How long is this going to take?” An impatient male voice penetrates your ears.
“That’s not something I can predict. I can’t mend the poison from her system.” Another male voice replies in exhaustion.
“It’s been over a week. It didn’t take this long when Violet was poisoned.” Confusion swirls in your brain as you try to place the name that seems so familiar. 
“I understand, but poison doesn’t affect every person the same. Besides, from the light discoloration from her veins on her left arm, it seems like this has happened before.” The exhausted male voice replies.
You can hear as the pacing footsteps suddenly halt. “What?!?” The other voice says a tone that seems slightly panicked but also filled with fury.
“Didn’t you notice the black veins running down her arm while we were in Cordyn. They stood in stark relief to her skin and that dress.” You’d give anything to move your body, wanting to wrap your arms around yourself in soothing gesture at the conversation you’re hearing.
“I was a little busy trying to keep myself in one place and not forcefully pick her up and leave with Sgaeyl, so no, I suppose I didn’t notice.” Realization hits as now you realize its Xaden’s voice you’re hearing. “Besides, why would that matter, that was over a month ago now.”
“Yes, but her body obviously wasn’t recovered from that poisoning, so now it’s taking longer.” The other male in the room has a voice that sounds familiar now, but you still can’t place it.
“And I’m going out of my fucking mind. I’m being ordered to Draithus again tomorrow and I can’t leave not knowing if she’s going to be okay.” Xaden’s voice becomes tight with worry and frustration.
“Unfortunately, Lieutenant, you don’t have much of a choice. You’re going to be leaving tomorrow with Sgaeyl and you’ll have to deal with it.” The voice has grown hard, both with weariness and aggravation. 
“Don’t fucking try me, Brennan. You won’t fucking win.” Xaden challenges.
“Oh, I don’t have to try you. Lieutenant Colonel, remember?” With that last statement, you hear as footsteps sound and a door clicking shut behind them. 
As you begin to feel the eternal pull of sleep weighing on your body again, you notice the bed you’re in dip down slightly. 
“Blaze, I need you to fight this. I need you with me. You can’t leave me again, not like this, not before I can show you how much I love you.” There’s no mistaking the pain in Xaden’s voice and the way it breaks in and out. It’s clear that he’s barely holding himself together, but the pull of darkness is too sweet to deny.
 
Taking a deep breath, you finally feel the ability to flutter your eyes open. Though as you do and stare up at the ceiling, everything still feels foggy. You’re unsure of how long you just lay there with your eyes open, but eventually you gather enough strength to sit up. 
Looking around, your brow furrows trying to place the room you are in. It’s well appointed, but there’s no white marble and blinding gold, this chamber is pure stone with tapestries lining the wall generating some warmth to the space. You look up at an armoire that is at the side of the room and turn to see a door that you assume must be a bathing chamber. 
There is a large green chair that has been posted next to the bed as if someone was sitting there waiting for you. You close your eyes as you try to clear the fog that still clings to your brain and memories. The action feels like wading through waist deep water, and you can’t help the confusion that seems to settle.
Brows furrowing you try to remember the last place you were, because you know it wasn’t wherever this is. Looking down, you see that you’re in a pair of loose-fitting black pants and oversized shirt. Running a hand through your hair, your nose scrunches at the greasy feeling of your hair. Whatever has happened in the last few days, the only thing you want right now is a nice long shower.
Slowly picking your overtired body from the bed, you shift to a standing position. Trying your best not to wobble, you walk into the bathing chamber and immediately spot the shower and take a deep breath. Hobbling straight over, you turn the taps and let the warm water run through your fingers relishing in the feeling. You let yourself relax into the shower and hope to Amari that the water will wash the fog of your mind. 
Grabbing a towel and drying yourself, you walk towards the mirror and place your hands on the sink sucking in a breath and letting the granite hold your weight. The peace that settled into you during your shower is short lived as you look up into the mirror. 
Gasping, you fumble backwards, and your hand flies up to your chest. You watch the mirror as your fingers trace the scar on the left side of your body and the lingering blackness. Eyes flying wide, the memories of the battle rush back in a torrent causing you to move. 
You go back into the room, the peace of the shower completely gone, and search for clothes. You see riding leathers that look to be about the right size and immediately begin tugging them on your body. Lacing your boots with as much efficiency as you can master, you are shooting up, not concerned about your hair or the fact that you don’t even know where you are. 
Only one thought is pulsing through your mind. ‘Is Red alright? And where is Ceridwen?’ The thought leaves unbidden, and you pull up to a halt at the bottom of the stairs when there’s a response.
‘They are both safe and resting in a small cottage in town.’ Dhìoch’s voice slithers quietly into your mind.
‘Can you take me to them?’ You ask as everything hits in succession.
You know you must look like a crazed fiend, but your emotions are hitting you from every side and you need to see they are safe for yourself. There’s a minute where you think Dhìoch will deny you, but then you just ignore her and begin back down the stairs and sprint out large doors. 
Unsure where you are and where you are going, you turn and see a small town in the valley below. Turning back your eyes widen at the stone fortress that you just exited from. 
I’ll worry about that later. Is the only thought you have as you begin walking towards the town below. You have no idea where you are going, just that you need to lay eyes on the two people that saved you from yourself.
As you begin to enter the thick of the town, you wrap your arms around yourself as you brace from the cold wind that has begun whipping around you. Arriving at the heart of the town, you enter into one of the taverns. 
“Excuse me.” You say as you walk up to the barkeep. “Do you happen to know if there was a couple that was brought to this village from Pavis a few days ago? Their names are –.“
“Y/N!” You cut yourself off as you hear the familiar voice yell your name.
“Ceridwen!” You yell back and instantly run towards her and embrace her in a bruising hug. 
“Thank the gods! We’ve been so worried about you.” She gets out in a rush parsing over you as if looking for injuries.
“I’m fine. How are you? Is Red alright?” The rush of your words and panic in your eyes makes Ceridwen soften her eyes at you.
“Thanks to you.” She says as she grabs you by the arm. “Come. I know he will be ecstatic to see you finally awake.”
She leads you back out into the town and the tension in your chest begins to ease slightly at her warmth. A small smile spreads on your lips as you get closer to a small cottage closer to the outskirts of the town. Hope fluttering in your chest as Ceridwen goes to open the wooden door and you can’t help but notice the green roof that seems to line every house you’ve passed.
“Ceri did you happen to get any eggs while you were out.” A male voice calls that immediately has you taking a breath of relief. 
Walking further into the room, a beaming smile spreads across your face that you can’t control. 
“Thank the gods!” Red says in a breathless whisper before tugging you into a fierce hug.
You let your body slacken as the relief of seeing them both crashes over you, Ceridwen coming up behind you and hugging you as well. You let yourself melt into the warmth of their hugs and take the first deep breath you’ve had since you’ve woken up in this strange place.
An hour later you find yourself drifting, your eyes involuntarily closing as the exertion of your day begins to hit you full force.
“Come on, Y/N, let’s get you in bed.” You hear Ceridwen whisper softly.
“I don’t want to intrude.” You say though it comes out in a yawn.
“My dear, you saved our lives, the least we can do is let you rest.” You don’t argue with her logic and slowly follow her to one of the bedrooms. As soon as you step next to the bed, you fall into the mattress and your eyes slide closed.
The next day, you feel at least some of your energy has returned to its normal state and take a short walk into the hills surrounding the town. As you sit with your back on one of the trees, you breathe in the clean air and let the calm of the forest wash over you.
‘Why are you always such trouble?’ Dhìoch slides into your mind a hint of amusement in her tone.
‘Excuse me. How exactly am I trouble? And hello to you too.’ You don’t try to hide your indignation. 
‘Always the one to jump in and save others. Then taking two weeks to wake up.’ You scoff at your dragon, especially when she is intruding on the little solitude you seemed to have found. It isn’t as if you asked to be poisoned again.
‘You could’ve found another rider. I gave you the opportunity to leave me behind.’ Your dragon’s snarl curls around your mind and you know she would be knocking you to the ground if she was in front of you.
‘That isn’t what I was implying. You aren’t the trouble for me. Sgaeyl is.’ Dhìoch says, her tone bored. Though you can’t help but send your confusion through your bond. In the back of your mind a faint whisper of someone talking while you were poisoned flits in your mind, but you can’t quite place it. 
‘Dhìoch, where exactly are we anyway.’ You look around and there is something so familiar about the land, but the answer seems to evade you.
‘I believe the answer to all of that will be coming very shortly.’ You roll your eyes at your dragon’s insistent use of non-answers to your questions. 
Beginning to feel your body tire again, you slowly rise to your feet to begin the trek back to Red and Ceridwen’s cottage. You didn’t ask them where you were, but you were so concerned with their safety, you didn’t care. Knowing they were both safe was the only thought that crossed your mind. 
As you get closer to the cottage, your body begins to feel to heavy and when you go to take your next step, your knee gives out. Expecting to crash to the ground, your eyes snap closed and you brace for the impact. When impact doesn’t come, you open your eyes back up and they flare as they lock with onyx ones.
With two long strides you find yourself gathered tightly in Xaden’s arms and his head buried in your hair. 
“You’re going to send me to Malek one of these days.” He whispers in your hair, though there’s no bite to his tone. You huff a humorless laugh at the statement while still being crushed to the chiseled lines of his chest.
“For some reason I think I have an appointment with the god of death before you do.” You sass back at the insufferable man that has your entire being plastered to him. As if in offense, his arms tighten around you further.
“Don’t even fucking joke like that.” His words come out hard a biting tone to every syllable.
He suddenly pulls you back and stares intensely back into your eyes. He continues searching yours before the exhaustion of the day starts to seep into you again. You let out a large yawn and begin to pull away from him.
“If you’ll excuse me, I’m tired. I’m going to bed.” Before you can get further than two steps ahead, Xaden has grabbed your wrist and whirled you back around.
“Then come with me.” His tone now soft as he looks pleadingly into your eyes. 
“Come with you where? I don’t even know where we are. All I know is there are two people that are grateful for my existence in this cottage that offered me a warm bed.” You continue as you gesture towards the cottage. 
“You’re in Aretia. I took you here after Pavis was evacuated.” He says as if that is an entire explanation.  
“While I appreciate everything you’ve done for Red and Ceridwen, I’ll only be staying until I feel back to myself fully.” You say turning again to walk away.
“You are staying here.” Xaden states with finality and you whir around fully intending to give him a piece of your mind at his overbearing insistence. Your plans however are dashed when the world begins to tilt, and your eyes roll skyward.
“Y/N, Love.” Is all you hear before you feel weightless and find yourself wrapped up in Xaden’s arms and he begins to jog. Unsure of what is happening, you try to let yourself relax as breathing becomes more of a chore. 
Seeming to fade back in and out, you suddenly feel the sharp sting of wind at your face, though Xaden tries to fold you closer towards his chest. “You’ll be alright love; you just need to hold on for me.” Xaden whispers, his mouth grazing your ear with every word. His words may be steady, but there is no mistaking the dread laced in their tone.
As your breathing begins to grow shallow, you’re jolted in Xaden’s arms. Trying to open your eyes, you are met with the looming shadow of the fortress that you had left from a day ago. Though that isn’t what shocks your system.
Your eyes catch Xaden’s for only a heartbeat, but the absolute terror swirling in them puts a crack in the wall that you’ve had up for months. 
“Where’s Brennan?” Xaden barks, between the force of the command and the panic you can only imagine the way people part for the man.
“Wh-what the hell Riorson?” Another male voice questions from further away.
“You need to help her. She fainted and she’s barely breathing.” Xaden explains as you can feel him climbing and hear as a door is kicked open. 
“Stop standing there and fucking help her!” The roar leaving Xaden’s lips has your pulse jumping at the threatening tone.
“You need to calm down. Most likely it’s just the aftereffects of the poison trying to leave her system.” The calm male voice says as you feel Xaden place you down on a soft surface.
“Don’t tell me to fucking calm down.” Xaden growls. “She’s been out for two fucking weeks and then disappears and no one fucking tells me! You want me to calm down, then fix her!”
No words are exchanged before you hear footsteps coming closer to the bed and then a warm sensation seems to wash over your skin. As the warmth begins to fade, you finally take a deep breath and exhale out of your mouth, eyes fluttering open to the familiar stone ceiling you had woken to before.
“Thank the gods.” A breathless whisper comes before Xaden is kneeling next to the bed you are in, closer to your head. Your head turns and you’re met with the eyes that you can never seem to get out of your mind. He brings a hand to your head and cradles your cheek, rubbing his thumbs back and forth in a soothing motion. 
“What happened?” Your brows furrow as you blink your eyes trying to clear the fog in your head.
Another figure catches your attention, and you look down to see a man you’ve never seen before sitting at the base of the bed. 
“I believe it was the last remnants of poison pushing through your system.” The man with auburn curls tells you. 
Your eyes don’t stay on him long as you feel your body begin to drag you down again. Looking back up to Xaden, you slowly blink, the heaviness of sleep beckoning you. “I’m tired.”
“I know, my Love.” Xaden murmurs as his hand continues to stroke your cheek. “Sleep, I’ll be right here when you wake up.”
You blame it on the exhaustion pulling at you when his words cause your entire body to warm and a spark in your chest begin to ignite, though the flicker grows hotter when he leans in and gives your forehead a lingering kiss. Not letting yourself dwell on your feelings, you close your eyes and let yourself drift. 
Unsure of how long it’s been since you’ve drifted, your eyes blink open to darkness around you. Trying to roll to your right and out of the bed, you are immediately stopped by hand that is firmly gripping yours. Turning your head, you see a large figure slouched in sleep in a large armchair brought as close as possible to the bed. 
You slowly untangle your fingers from Xaden’s and continue your roll out of the bed. Heading towards what you think are the windows, you silently let yourself lean into the wall. Pulling back one of the curtains, you let yourself relish in the bright light of the moon that highlights the town below. You take in all the little things you can see by the light of the moon, including the way the moonlight glistens over the green rooftops that dot the town.
Caught up in your perusal of the town, you jolt when you hear the quick snap of the chair on the floor and turn as the occupant jolts up and begins striding towards the door.  
“Xaden.” You murmur in bid not to scare him, and his head immediately turns towards your voice. Without responding to you, he meets you in two strides and turns you to face him. 
“Are you feeling alright?” The concern in his eyes and tone is evident, even in the soft way he holds you. 
“I’m
better. Not sure if I’ll ever be alright.” You reveal quietly which causes Xaden’s arms to tighten slightly around you. 
Resignation tearing at you, there’s no way to stop the words from forming. “What do you want Xaden? After living through the last few months, I need to know. What do you want?”
You let the seriousness of your question leech into your stare, not willing to pretend any longer.
“I want everything you’ll give me.” Xaden says bringing both hands to cup your face. 
“I can’t fucking let you go. I refuse.” He continues fervently his eyes blazing with conviction. “What I said back in Cordyn, I meant every godsdamned word. I just need you to believe me.”
Xaden continues to stare back at you his brows furrowing and eyes turning sad. “I need you to give me another chance. Just one. I promise I won’t disappoint you.”
Your eyes slide closed as your head battles with your heart. Your head tells you that you’ll never be the priority for this man, but your heart screams for you to give him another chance. It isn’t either of those things that win out though, it’s the words that Red and Ceridwen left you with when you talked last night.
“No relationship is perfect, especially when you’re young. Life is always going to throw different problems in front of love, that's what makes finding it so special. But, if you find the one person that will fight tooth and nail to love you, you hold it close, because no relationship will succeed without the will to fight for it – you can’t just let it go.” Ceridwen finished while she gave Red’s hand a squeeze.
Opening your eyes, you can see the expectant look on Xaden’s face and the stiffness of his arms, even though his touch is still gentle on your cheeks.
“Are you going to fight for this like you will for the continent?” Your question comes out quiet, almost afraid of the answer.
“I will fight with everything in my being, until my last dying breath. I will always fight for you harder than I would ever fight for the continent.” The fiery conviction is only met with absolute certainty as his arm tightens snuggly around your waist tugging you against him. 
Your own hand comes up and pulls his other from your cheek. As you bring it down, you turn his palm and give it a lingering kiss. His breath hitches as his hand tunnels into your hair drawing you fully against him. 
After some time, Xaden’s hand moves to your neck and angles it to look up into his eyes. The moonlight seems to cast them into pools of gold, a swirling mass of love hidden in every corner.
“May I kiss you?” Xaden breathes out in a whisper as if he’s afraid to speak too loudly.
“Only if you promise it’s only the first in a lifetime’s worth.” The smile that he gives you is brighter than the sun before he tugs your face forward and his lips crash to yours.
Caught off guard at the ferocity behind the gesture, you can’t help your smile and the small laugh that bubbles up. You feel as Xaden’s lips curl into their own smile before the kiss turns languid. 
Xaden continues to kiss you slow, as if he’s trying to re-memorize every single corner of your mouth. You feel yourself melt into his arms as he slowly backs up and sits down on the bed. Without breaking the kiss, he pulls you down onto his lap while tightening his grip as if he can’t stand to have a single bit of space between you. 
You gasp into his mouth as you feel every inch of his body press into yours. He pulls away slightly giving your neck a lingering kiss and rests his forehead against yours.
“Gods, I missed you. Your taste, your lips, the way you fit in my arms.” Xaden says as he punctuates each one with a kiss. 
“Missed me enough to always put me first?” The seriousness of your voice and conviction in your eyes showing through.
Grabbing your face with both hands, Xaden’s eyes seem to search every corner of yours. “No one and nothing will ever come before you again. That is the easiest promise that I could ever make.”
His hand slides to your waist and pulls you flush against him and for the first time in months, you let yourself relax into his touch and breathe him in. As he feels your body soften against him, he brings your head to rest in the crook of his neck and leaves a lingering kiss on your temple before burying his face in your hair.
“You are the light to my shadow. The only home I’ll ever find rest in, and I’ll spend the rest of my life more than satisfied if I always have you.” He whispers in your hair, and in the darkness of his room, in the middle of the night, you breathe deeply and your heart settles as you find your own home in him.
Taglist: @honethatty12 @motorsportloverf1 @annthepenguin @dragonsandrinks @acourtofsmutandstarlight @minidemont @bookishcait
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angstywaifu · 29 days ago
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Everyone Has Secrets - Aaric Graycastle
Request: Aaric x reader where the reader is a rider but also a princess of another Provence, but she kept it a secret from everyone because she ran away to be a rider to fight venin because she didn’t want her people to suffer. A/N: This is my first time writing for Aaric so I hope you guys like it. I've seen a few requests come in for him now so I'll definitely be working on them and hope to improve my writing for him.
Warnings: The below contains spoilers for Onyx Storm. If you have not read Onyx Storm do not read the below!
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“What’s up with you and Aaric?” Sloane whispers to me as Devera asks Violet about her trip.
“Nothing. Why’s that?” I ask as I look up at her.
“Because he’s been staring at you since he sat down. It’s like he’s trying to read your mind.” She informs me.
I turn my head and meet Aaric’s piercing green eyes. And Sloane is right. The way he’s looking at me is like he’s trying to figure something out. And it’s like me looking at him confirms what ever it is he needs, quickly turning his attention back to the front of the room. What was that about?
“Maybe he was trying to see if we were ok? He’s been gone a while.” I whisper back with a shrug.
She shakes her head. “No. This is something else.”
Devera turns her attention back to the rest of us, putting an end to our conversation. It doesn’t take long for me to feel Aaric’s eyes on me, but I don’t turn to meet them this time.
Something had clearly happened while he was away with Violet and the squad she had put together. But I had no way of telling what it was.
Throughout the rest of our classes I feel Aaric’s eyes on me every now and then. But I couldn’t pin point why. And it honestly had me on edge. I’d never seen Aaric like that towards anyone since our time here. I had planned to ask him what his problem was, but his seat at our table remains empty during dinner.
“We’re going to go train, want to come with?” Sloane asks me as we stand up from our table.
I shake my head. “I’m going to have an early one tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I tell her as I back away towards the dorms.
She just nods and lets me go, knowing Aaric’s weird mood towards me had put me on edge. I was glad she’d opted for the let me be approach rather than distract me with training or plotting how we could find out what was going on.
As I push through the door to the dorms, someone grabs me from behind, causing me to yelp which echoes in the empty hall. I turn around to fight back, grasping a dagger in my hand which hangs in the air once I see the familiar green eyes I’d felt on me all day. Green eyes that feel like they’re staring into my soul.
I open my mouth to ask him what the hell is going on, but he just drags me up the stairs to the first year floor and down to his room. He shoves me inside before closing the door behind us, leaning back against it to block any attempt I might make to leave.
“What the hell is going on?” I demand, wanting to know why his behaviour towards me had changed so much since his trip.
“Seems you’ve been keeping secrets. Princess.”
My eyes go wide at his words, my dinner threatening to make an appearance. Shit. How the hell did he know? No one knew where I was from. Nowhere in Navarre knew who I was. Unless
 shit.
“Everyone has secrets.” I say with a shrug, trying to play it off.
“Oh trust me, I know.” He replies cockily, causing me to narrow my eyes at him. What the hell did that mean. “And you probably would have gotten away with yours if I hadn’t gone with Violet.”
“What are you going on about?”
He pushes off the door and walks over to his desk. Going through the bag he was yet to unpack from his trip. He pulls out a frame, holding it out to me. I grasp it in my hands, turning it over as dread washes over me. Staring back at me is a painting of me with my parents done not long before I’d left. The family Id left behind to come and do something. To protect them from a war that would more than likely come our way one day. There was no way I could deny what Aaric had figured out.
“I always thought your eye colour was unique. Such an interesting shade of blue. Sometimes looking purple when the light hit it them right.” He tells me as he leans up against the desk, watching me take in the photo. “So you can probably guess the shock I got when we land in Hedotis, and we’re greeted by people with the same coloured eyes. The same ones I’ve been looking at since July. And then when I go looking around, I find this sitting on a desk.”
I look up at him, not sure what to say or do. I had thought my secret would be safe forever. No one here had ever been to Hedotis, and I honestly thought no one would ever go there. But now Aaric stood in front of me, waiting for answers.
“What are you going to do? Force me to go back? Go get whatever reward they want for my return?” I snap at him, shoving the painting back at him.
He shakes his head as he places the painting next to him on the desk. “Fuck no. I want to know why though. I have my reasons, but what are yours? Why make that big of a journey to come here of all places?”
His reasons? What the hell did that mean? Pretty sure it was going to be my turn to interrogate him after this at this rate.
“Because I didn’t want to sit back and do nothing.” I tell him as I walk over to his window, looking out over the forest below. “I was sick of us turning a blind eye to what could potentially come our way. Pretending that everything was fine and blissful. When over the ocean, people were dying. I needed to make a difference, even if my parents wouldn’t. All they cared about was marrying me off to make alliances. Give another province an heir that would make them allied to us. Even though we would never back them up if they needed help. I needed to do something.”
Aaric doesn’t say a word. Silence falling over us. I turn around to see him looking at me, a smile pulling at the edges of his mouth.
“Good. Because honestly your people are kinda shit.” He jokes as he steps away from the desk to walk over to the door.
“Not so fast Aaric.” I say, causing him to turn and look at me with a cocked eyebrow. “Now it’s your turn. Why do you have your reasons?”
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saintsanddevils · 24 days ago
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Never Alone - pt 2
Aaric Graycastle x Fem!Reader
Summary: You’re called to the Fourth Wing, much to Aaric’s annoyance.
Warnings: Iron Flame spoilers, ANGST, yearning, slow burn friends-to-lovers, dual POV (Reader & Aaric)
Word Count: 2.5K
Part One | Part Three
————
-Rider’s Quadrant-
(Reader POV)
My thighs are burning and my feet ache from climbing those damn stairs when I finally reach the top. The line of recruits is going by faster now. I’m hoping this means it’s almost over. Or maybe more people are falling to their deaths on the parapet.
Shit, this is such a bad idea.
I close my eyes to calm my breathing, counting backwards from 100 before I can feel the nerves slowly dissipate. I try to tap into that earlier anger and frustration. Remembering when I found Cam’s room empty and barren, a half-ass letter about touring the country twisting my gut. He’d never do such a frivolous thing. Halden would, but not Cam. Besides, he would’ve invited me to go with him. The fact that he didn’t was his first mistake.
Now, I’m sweaty, tired, and grumpy and about to strangle the life out of a Prince of Navarre.
I’m next in line when I freeze. Violet Sorrengail stares at me in horror. I’ve known her for far too long that I recognize the waves of shock, worry, and sorrow flit through her hazel eyes.
It’s Dain who speaks first, startling me by his presence.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he mutters low enough so only the three of us can hear. “You too?”
I steel my spine, pinching my nails into my palms to keep myself from bolting. If Cam wants to get himself caught up in a war, I’m going to make sure he doesn’t die.
“Y/N
 Thorne,” I wince, knowing I just used my mother’s maiden name. Hopefully, no one will see the connection. It’s too late now.
Both Violet and Dain stare openly, the latter looking as though he’ll crack a tooth from grinding his teeth so hard. Violet looks more understanding with the way her face begins to soften.
“I know why you’re here,” she says. “But I don’t think anyone can stop him.”
I narrow my gaze. “I know, that’s why I’ve come to make sure he doesn’t break that pretty neck of his.”
Violet’s mouth almost curves into a smile while Dain shakes his head in obvious annoyance.
“Let’s just invite the entire palace, while we’re at it,” he murmurs to himself.
“Y/N Thorne,” I repeat.
Violet nods, motioning to the woman next to her to write it down.
I turn away from them only to stop when Violet whispers, “Don’t die, Y/L/N.”
I smirk before stepping onto the parapet. “Promise, Sorrengail.”
——————————————
“Aaric Graycastle to Second Squad, Flame Section, Fourth Wing.”
Aaric Graycastle. I scoff. He must’ve made that last name up. I recognize his middle name, and I promise myself not to give in and tell him how much it suits him. He has enough arrogance as it is.
I don’t take my eyes off his sandy-brown hair as he makes his way to stand in the first row of the Fourth Wing, a few feet away from Violet in the second row. He stands perfectly straight as he waits next to a girl who looks like she might puke at any second.
The crowd of cadets thins the longer we stand here until the woman on the dais draws my attention away from Aaric. “Y/N Thorne to Second Squad, Flame Section, Second Wing—“
Dain stops her, speaking quickly before she nods, and he steps away, meeting my gaze.
“Correction,” she continues. “Y/N Thorne to Second Squad, Flame Section, Fourth Wing.”
I give Dain a nod of appreciation as I make my way over to Aaric’s and Violet’s wing. Violet gives me a look of relief, but as I look for Aaric, he’s glaring up at Dain on the dais.
“Miss me?” I mutter as I walk by him.
His tight fists are white by the time I find a spot in line. I’m two people away from him, but there could practically be no one around with the way I’m entirely too aware of his presence. He’s taller than all the first years, broader too, making it easy to see him in my peripheral.
Time moves quickly as speeches are made and when the dragons land heavily on the roof of the courtyard, panic grips me by the throat. Screams fill the air as they assess us like prey. They’re huge. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen a dragon, but it’s still just as terrifying. Survival instincts rise up and I feel myself begin to take a step back. A large hand suddenly grips my wrist, stopping me.
“Don’t move.”
Aaric is now beside me, holding me from bolting from the courtyard. With how quick he is in a fight, I’m not shocked he was able to maneuver his way next to me before the dragons could take notice.
His fingers tighten before slowly moving down my wrist to my palm, over the small scar, to the tips of my fingers. Warmth rushes through me from his touch, calming the rising panic. He slips his hand around mine and squeezes until they’re bound tightly together.
I count my breaths as he holds on to me, never letting go for a second. Not even as the new recruits around us scream and run for the parapet behind us.
Aaric suddenly stiffens as a one-eyed Orange Daggertail swivels its head towards them. And we’re directly in the way.
The dragon opens its massive jaw.
“Get down!” I hear Violet shout behind us just as Aaric lunges, tackling me to the gravel. He covers my body with his as fire blazes above us, close enough that the heat is practically suffocating. I curl to touch my forehead to the ground, holding back tears as a wave of overwhelming fear crashes over me.
I will not die.
I will not die.
I will. Not. Die.
I begin to count backwards from 100, breathing in and out, slowly. The crescendo of screams slowly begins to die down the longer we lie here, but the smell of burning flesh intensifies.
“You’re okay,” Aaric whispers in my ear. His breath tickles the skin of my neck. “Stay still. Keep counting, that’s it. In and out.”
I don’t acknowledge how I must be muttering the numbers aloud. I keep counting, as he instructed. My body trembles beneath his as I feel him slide his hands into mine. He tightens his fingers, grounding me.
I’m reminded of a time when I nearly drowned in the frozen lake near Cam’s winter home. We were reckless and young, and I remember him pulling me from the ice as he screamed for his guards. He was so scared as he held me on the shore, panicking over my lips turning blue. The way he held my hands, his warmth burrowing deep inside my bones as he wrapped around me, is similar to the way he holds me now. It’s achingly familiar.
As quickly as it came, the fire dies. Sulfur and burning flesh still fill the air.
And Aaric hasn’t let go of me.
His body cages me, his chest to my back. His breathing matching mine as I slowly rise out of the fog of fear. It lingers, but I’m more clear-headed now. And I’m now more aware of Aaric’s closeness. It’s been years since we were this close to each other, and the thought sends blistering heat up my body into my cheeks.
Now is not the time.
Aaric slowly rises, his weight lifting from me as he continues to hold my hand to help me scramble to stand next to him.
My heart swells with the idea of him protecting me, keeping me safe, but anxiety rushes over me as the smell of burning still lingers around us.
I look him up and down. “Are you hurt?”
He’s doing the same thing to me as he shakes his head. “No, I’m fine. Thank, Malek.” His hand squeezes mine, lingering before reluctantly releasing. He drops it back to his side quickly. “Are you?”
I shake my head, staring up into those concerned green eyes of his as everyone around us tries to get back into formation.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
Aaric visibly swallows before he nods and shifts to stand facing the dais. I catch sight of Violet over his shoulder, and besides her smoldering jacket, she seems okay. Her wide eyes meet mine, and she nods towards the line.
Right.
I turn away from Aaric and stand with my back straight, trying to keep still as Lyron Panchek yells from the dais to get everyone in order.
The trembling has settled now that I know I’m still breathing. In its place, guilt has settled like lead in my stomach. The gravity of what I’m doing is startlingly clear now. I could die any day at any moment. All because of my unwavering loyalty to the one man I’ve ever
 I swallow that emotion down before it escalates any further.
I need to stay focused.
I would’ve been dead moments ago if it weren’t for Aaric. And because of me, he almost got hurt or worse. I can’t let that happen. Even if we’re in the one place guaranteeing we’ll die with even one misstep, I need to keep him alive.
No matter the cost.
————
(Aaric POV)
Aaric is waiting in the shadows outside of the girls’ dormitory when Y/N finally steps out. With the night cloaking him, he quickly grabs her from behind. She turns in time to throw her elbow into his stomach on instinct. Aaric drops his hands from her, holding his torso as pain racks up his ribs.
“Good shot,” he coughs.
Her eyes widen before she pushes him back into the corner he was hiding in.
“What the hell, Ca-“ she catches herself before continuing at a lower volume. “What the hell, Aaric?”
He leans against the stone, breathing deeply as he holds his stomach. “Well, I was hoping you and I could talk, but clearly you’d rather beat me up first.”
She rolls her eyes at him. “It’s your own fault for creeping around in the dark. You’re far too comfortable kidnapping me, it seems.”
Aaric can’t help the laugh that barks its way out of his mouth, causing pulses of pain from his newly bruised rib.
She visibly softens at the sound, her mouth twitching before she looks away to hide her smile. Aaric clenches his hand to resist the urge of grabbing her by the chin so he can see it.
“Well,” she leans against the opposite wall, giving each other ample space. Space Aaric really doesn’t want to give her, but he doesn’t move from his spot. “What is it? Curfew is in a few minutes.”
Aaric nods. “That won’t matter much longer because I found you a way out of here.”
She startles. “What?”
“Don’t worry, Dain will take you. He’ll escort you back home, and you can—“
In the next blink, she’s suddenly before him. Just as he steps back, hitting the wall, her hand reaches up to wrap around the collar of his leathers.
“Don’t make me slap you again,” she says slowly, menacingly. “Because I won’t hesitate.”
Aaric doesn’t doubt it. The tenderness of his cheek reminds him that she didn’t hesitate earlier.
“You listen to me, because I guess I wasn’t clear enough before,” she leans forward, her eyes blazing as she pulls him down by the collar so he’s inches from her face. “If you’re staying, I’m staying. You’re getting a dragon? I’ll get myself a damn dragon—”
“And what?!” He stops her, his voice gaining volume as the last of his patience wears thin, making him cling to desperation. “I jump, you jump, I die, you die? Is that what this is?” He shakes his head. Over his dead body would he let her die because of him. “I’m not going to let that happen, Y/N. You’re going home.”
“It’s not up to you,” she shakes her head before letting him go and stepping away as if he burned her. “You’re so concerned for me? Then stay alive. I’m not going anywhere.”
She tries to move past him to the door, but he crowds her against the wall, holding her hostage. Fury lights her eyes as she bears her teeth at him like a caged animal.
“Let me go, Cam.”
Aaric gives her a smirk as sharp as a blade. “Sorry, I don’t know who you’re talking about.”
She scoffs. “You’re being ridiculous.”
“And you’re being unnecessarily difficult.”
She glares up at him, and it’s only when the flames from a distant torch light her eyes that he softens his hold. He feels her chest brushing his, breathing heavily against him. Her skin pulses against his fingers as he holds her wrists to the wall. His thigh between hers to keep her from kicking.
This close, her scent is intoxicating, making his head swim with indecision. If this were an entirely different situation, he’d be trying to hold himself back from finally leaning down and capturing her soft lips with his—
He steps away, setting her free. Grinding his teeth, he watches her face contort from annoyance to confusion. He thanks every god he can think of for the darkness of the corridor.
“You can’t stay,” he chokes out. This plan went to hell, and now he has nothing left but to beg. “Please
 Please don’t stay here.”
She tries to reclaim the space they lost by stepping forward, but he steps back. It’s better this way, or else he’ll never let her go.
“As long as you’re here, I’m staying.” Her voice is soft, calm. A part of him wishes she was yelling at him instead. It’d be easier that way.
Can’t she see how scared he is? How terrified he’s been since that deranged dragon tried to burn her to ash? He knows it’ll haunt him. He can’t live with himself if she ends up on that gods-forsaken death roll one morning.
Guilt creates a hole in his chest as she turns away, heading back to her dorm.
“Tell Dain if he’s going to take me back, I’m going down fighting. And if you ask him to do this for you ever again,” she gives him a cold, dead stare. “I’ll tell every single person who you are and find a way to ensure your father knows exactly where to find you.”
The threat stings, but he knew she’d use it. She held every card the second she stepped off the parapet. If only she knew how close he’d come to leaving when he saw tears in her eyes after the dragon’s fire.
“I can’t-“ he swallows, closing his eyes to compose himself. “I can’t watch you die.”
She doesn’t look back as she twists open the door. “Then don’t look.”
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fireheartpages · 2 months ago
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never planned on | b.d.
bodhi durran x reader chapter one series masterlist summary: you never planned on being a rider, and you certainly hadn’t planned on the grinning boy from tail section that weaseled his way into your day to day. word count: 2.9k notes: second person pov, reader uses she/her pronouns, has a nickname (i love dirty dancing) and a last name bc i want this to be readable. mentions of (reader’s) death, canon typical violence, you’re kinda mean to bodhi but it’s justified. i wasn’t really planning on writing any more of this tbh, but then i was listening to mastermind by taylor swift and i was like “oh this is so baby and bodhi” and then i was like okay yeah im writing more bc i literally could not stop thinking about them. i really wanted to end it where i had in the last chapter though, but i had so many ideas it felt unjust to leave them hanging, so i decided this is gonna be a sort of multi part series. this can be read as its own series, but i recommend reading the other part for development purposes :)
There were moments that were mean to test you, and moments that were meant to break you.
Your life, so far, had been full of these moments.
You had never planned to be a rider. Never really saw yourself on the back of a dragon, flying and jumping and falling like it was second nature. Never saw yourself handling things like the parapet or the Gauntlet with ease. You sought information, sought knowledge. Truthfully, you’d never really seen yourself going to Basgiath in the first place.
But when your father had run to the outskirts of the Tyrrendor province and left your mother to fend for herself during a historic rebellion, you had made a vow never to be as cowardice as he was.
Basgiath didn’t charge tuition, but not everyone had the means to pack up and travel hundreds of miles away from home to go study to be a glorified librarian. So, when the opportunity presented itself, you accepted the funds to be sent to the college with one condition and one goal.
The condition: Navarre would send you from the little town on the edge of the cliff side on Tyrrendor’s southernmost coastline to Basgiath if you would join the riders quadrant. The war effort needed fighters, and the Tyrrish had the most to prove. Or to apologize for.
The goal: to find out if your mother’s name was on the death roll.
So, fine. You were quick on your feet, could throw a decent punch, and weren’t terrible with a bow or a dagger. You could, with the right training, and an insane amount of luck, make your way through your education.
You never planned on being a rider, but you would do it if it meant you could get away from your dad. Prove yourself as something more than he ever could be. And find out if your mother was alive or dead.
You were at Basgiath three days before you read the death roll, your finger finding her name, your heart crawling its way up your throat as you stared at the parchment.
You hadn’t heard of separatists’ kids before going to Basgiath, and you were surprised to see the winding black swirls of the relics that marred each of them. It was a surprise, to say the least, and you were more than a bit concerned as to why you didn’t have one. Your mother had been executed for being a part of the rebellion, and yet you were a spared the horrors of everything the other kids had gone through. But it didn’t feel like a relief. It felt like that one word you had been running from: coward.
You toed the line of cowardice, unsure of who you could admit your history to. You hadn’t told anyone in your squad, not yet. You were certain anyone who wasn’t Tyrrish wouldn’t understand, and anyone who wore the rebellion relic would see you for what you are, or just resent you for it.
Suddenly, the saving grace of the riders quadrant turned into your doom.
You never planned on being a rider, and you certainly hadn’t planned on the grinning boy from Tail section that weaseled his way into your day to day.
He was all smiles and eagerness to help, laced with quick thinking and brutal efficiency. He was kind, too kind. Bringing you a balm to soothe the aching skin of your hands in a cold you’d never experienced in Tyrrendor. The cracking and bleeding on your hands was sure to be your downfall, until Bodhi Durran had offed you an olive branch, and practically gotten you through the latter half of your first year at Basgiath.
The sight of his rebellion relic had twisted your stomach in a knot. And then you got to know him. Started to fall for him. Found out that he was observant, and overly kind, and willing to put himself on the line if it meant helping someone else. Found that his skin was really soft, and that he could turn the knots in your stomach into butterflies when you watched one side of his mouth curve before the other, as if being pulled by an invisible string. Found you really, really wanted to know what ran through his mind when he looked at you like that. Found you couldn’t help yourself from running your thumbs along the lips that shaped that smile just for you.
Maybe it was a bad idea to open up the way you found yourself wanting to. Maybe Bodhi Durran was a bad idea. But also, maybe for a moment, maybe for more than a moment, Basgiath War College had become more than the death sentence you had assumed it would be. Maybe it had become a second chance.
And then you developed your signet.
Suddenly, more than your education and training was a death sentence. It was every teacher, every student, every secret that was meant to be your doom.
You hadn’t even considered it. Being an inntinnsic. It didn’t even seem in the realm of possibility. If you had to wager a guess, you’d have thought you would have a physical signet. Maybe a fire wielder, or maybe you could have a signet that made you remember everything you read. If that was a thing. Retrocognition would have been cool. Or illusions.
But then you heard it. Dain Aetos’ voice in your head as if he had spoken out loud, and it had taken all of your willpower, and counselling from your dragon to stay calm. Shocair had diffused the tension in you and gotten you somewhere safe, but even she couldn’t save you from an execution.
Every waking moment seemed to bring more stress and panic.
You weren't safe anymore. Every conversation, every look from someone had you convinced you were going to be found out. Every breath you took might be your last. You'd spent quite a few nights in the flight field, curled around a meager fire under Shocair's wing, just to have a moment of quiet. Of peace inside your own mind.
It was noise all the time. Every class, every conversation,
You would have given anything at this point to go back in time and change something—yourself, your mind, anything—to change the outcome of your signet.
You considered just turning yourself in a handful of times. Just walking up to Professor Carr and confessing. He probably wouldn’t even give you a warning before you were dead. It sounded peaceful. Shocair was adamantly against this.
Everything is exhausting now. Classes, training, all of it. If you knew how to use the signet, how to read the thoughts you hear as predictions instead of distracting clatter, you might be good at sparring. But all it does is serve as a block, a sledgehammer in your brain until you yield during challenges without putting up much of a fight. Everyone was going to figure it out, they had to. It was obvious something had shifted with you. You were just good enough at hiding this particular secret so that no one knew what.
It was all exhausting. All of it. From waking up and mentally preparing yourself to face the day, to dodging questions about why you were heading out to the flight field after dark. You were playing mental gymnastics just to get yourself from point A to point Z, and it was taking a toll.
There was one relief. Shocair was there to walk you from waking to sleep, through anxiety and panic attacks and interruptions and interactions. You were fairly certain that the only reason you got any sleep at night was because she was there.
You had never wanted to be a rider. Never pictured it for yourself. But you didn’t see another option anymore. You couldn’t imagine a you without Shocair. There was no going back, just through. You didn’t know what the other side of this looked like, but you were facing it. You hadn’t stepped towards it yet, but you were going to. Eventually. If you could stay alive.
It was the dead of night, and you were freezing, and the fire you had next to you was doing little to thwart the cold. It was one of those nights when other people’s thoughts were plaguing you, making it impossible for you to sleep, let alone take a full breath. No one ever thinks to shield in the safety of their room. Not that most first years were very adept at shielding.
But the flight field is quiet. You weren’t sure if Shocair was just really good at keeping her shields up after the development, or if your signet ability just didn’t extend to dragons, but either way, being tucked under her wing with a meager fire is peaceful, even if you’re still very, very cold.
You were just dozing off then a low rumble shook you awake. If you didn’t know any better, you’d have thought it was an earthquake, but it was just—
Shocair. And if she’s growling, she’s growling at something. Or someone.
You shoot up, shaking any lingering sleep from your brain as you make to leave the confines of her wing, but she doesn’t allow it. Doesn’t lift the protection to let you assess the situation.
“Shield,” Shocair says into your mind. “Now.”
There are voices, low, male, angry. And you’re panicking.
But there are no thoughts. Not until—
Daggers with weird makings, a mountainous region you were unfamiliar with, and two faces you did recognize.
Xaden Riorson, and Garrick Tavis.
You hear it.
“Is that—what the hell? We have to—”
Hear is a bad word for what your abilities show you, but you lack the proper understanding to explain it. Not that anyone is asking, and not that you’ll ever gain the understanding. You make do with what you have.
Another flash—gryphons and fliers. You suck in a breath.
“Fuck, if she finds out about the rebellion—”
“Put your shields up,” someone hisses, Xaden, you’re pretty sure.
“What?” someone else asks, and—oh, you recognize that voice—and the noise inside your mind quiets.
“Shocair! Let me out!”
“I will not put you in danger.”
“You need to trust me to handle myself.” You almost stomp your foot, frustration boiling to the surface as a last line of defense, simply the tip of the iceberg that is everything in your brain at present, but you weren’t about to take it out on Shocair. Not when you couldn’t have survived a day without her.
You felt the hesitation down the bond as she begrudgingly lifted her wing, revealing you and your measly fire. You’re faced with three men—Xaden, Garrick, and Bodhi as your heart attempts to take flight out of your chest.
“Baby?” Bodhi asks, all of his attention trained on you, sans that smile you loved so much.
“What the hell are you doing out here?” Xaden asks—demands—using the wingleader voice. Shocair lowers her head, a low growl escaping from her as she bares her teeth in a snarl. Xaden is unfazed, but Bodhi and Garrick have the good sense to at least glance at her with reverence.
“Do not answer that. You are not his to command,” Shocair tells you.
“He’s my wingleader,” you respond to her, then to Xaden, “I’m not—”
But another growl, angrier with a puff of steam this time, crawls out of Shocair. You wince.
“Tell him.”
“Shocair would prefer I didn’t answer that,” you say.
Xaden sighs, and glances up to Shocair, who is still snarling at him, then back to you. “Anything I need to be concerned about?” He sounds tired, and a little wrung out, and you really can’t blame him.
The way he looks at you makes a shiver run down your spine. And not in a fun way.
“No,” you say. “Nothing. I just sleep out here some nights.” Another growl, and you clamp down on the urge to roll your eyes. “It’s peaceful.”
Xaden narrows his eyes at you, but it’s more in a that’s-the-weirdest-thing-I’ve-ever-heard way, and not in a you’re-hiding-something way. Relief is a palpable thing.
“Get to bed,” he says with an assessing gaze. “Or, whatever it is you’re doing. At least make it back to dorms in the morning and pretend like you slept there. I’ve heard your wingleader can be strict about curfew.”
You roll your eyes, but smile despite yourself. “Yes, sir,” you toss out.
Xaden motions to Garrick and Bodhi behind him, and Garrick makes to leave, following him. Bodhi loiters behind, casting you an assessing glance.
“I’ll catch up with you guys.”
“Bodhi—”
“Go.” He turns his full attention to you, but there’s no hint of your favorite smile. Only curiosity, and a bit of apprehension.
“You sleep out here?” he asks.
You nod. “It’s peaceful. Safe.”
His brow furrows, concern lacing through his features. “You don’t feel safe in your dorm? Did something happen?”
“No,” you answer quickly. “Just, you know. Unbonded cadets. Stuff like that.”
Bodhi nods slowly, but it’s obvious he doesn’t believe the flimsy lie. “You’ve been
” he begins, and it’s obvious he’s choosing his words carefully, “distant. Lately. I feel like I haven’t seen you much.”
Well, if that doesn’t hit you like an anvil to the chest. “I don’t mean to be,” you say. Even though you do. You wish you weren’t. You have to be.
“How are your hands?” Bodhi asks, glancing down to where they are balled at your side. You had been wearing your gloves more often, since riding and the colder winter months had you going through the little tins of balm too often. You couldn’t ask Bodhi for more.
“Okay,” you say. It’s a lie. They are so, so painful. Every day is a cacophony of physical and mental pain, and with the cold weather, the joint pain had settled in.
“Do you need more of the balm?” he asks.
You had expected Shocair to butt in by now, but when you chance a glance behind you, she’s settled her head back into the grass, golden eyes half shut.
“No, it’s okay. You really don’t have to go through the trouble—”
“I don’t mind,” Bodhi says quickly. “I want to.”
“Okay,” you say. You can’t help the smile that wiggles out of where you were suppressing it. “I guess I can’t say no to you.”
The statement was meant as a joke, a light and airy tension diffuser. It doesn’t come out like that though. There’s more truth in it than you would care to admit. It settles between you, the admission pulled taught like a rope tied to each of your ribs, bringing you into one another’s gravity.
“Let me walk you back to the dorm.”
Oh, maybe you can say no to him. But it might break your heart in two.
“I’m gonna stay out here tonight,” you say, then, as if your tongue had a mind of its own, “I’m sorry.”
“How often do you sleep out here?” he asks, and it’s real, genuine concern in every fold and crease of him. Your pulse picks up.
“Sometimes,” you answer noncommittally.
He steps closer to you, and now you’re in each other’s space as if that rope had dragged you in. He reaches for your hand, and you let him take it. You stare at his mouth, because, holy shit, you want to know what his lips taste like so bad.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” His gaze is on where he’s turning your hand over so it’s palm up and resting in his own.
“I’m fine,” you lie.
Bodhi screws up his nose, and it’s an adorable gesture that just about stops your heart for all the wrong reasons.
“You’ve just been so—” He sighs. “You’re so reclusive, and you’re pushing everyone away.” He goes to the buckle of your gloves, as if to pull them off and test your lies for himself, and suddenly it’s all too much. “I’m worried about you.”
You snatch your hand away. “You don’t know me well enough to be worried about me.”
You regret the words as soon as they’re in the air between you. The expression on his face—the confusion, the hurt— is enough to make you want to fall to your knees and beg forgiveness.
“And whose fault is that?” he asks. There’s no malice in his voice. It’s a real, genuine question.
You don’t answer.
“Have a good night, Baby,” he says, and he turns to walk away. This time, he didn’t say your name the way he usually did. It was a brand now. Not the affectionate honorific it usually came out as.
Your face is screwed up as you drop to the ground, your knees finding purchase in the grass and dirt as your breathe saws out of you. You can’t get enough air, and finally, your vision goes dark.
Not your vision, just the stars. Shocair’s wing is around you again, blocking out the world around you. She’s silent as you try to weather the panic, but there’s no use. It’s consuming you.
“Breathe,” she says, her voice a comforting presence in your mind. “You must breathe.”
“I’m trying,” you send back to her, unable to form the words verbally.
There’s some light let in, and then her giant nose is at your chest. You hear her inhale, and feel her exhale. She does it again.
You match your own breath to hers.
Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.
Inhale. Exhale.
Inhale.
Exhale.
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callsign-rogueone · 5 months ago
Text
defective
Bodhi Durran x reader, Brennan Sorrengail & reader words: 1.7k đŸ·ïž: did somebody say more chronically ill reader? with sweet baby Bodhi this time, and reader with a heart condition. negativity about illness / reader thinking they’re weak, others calling them weak / defective / etc., but not Bodhi or Brennan (they would never.) Brennan makes an appearance as an older brother figure, reader is referred to as she/her and a girl by members of the assembly but not by Bodhi. I think cuddling Bodhi would cure me of all my ills. I got the idea for this the other day when I went up stairs carrying a laundry basket and almost fainted. I would not make it up to the parapet, let alone be able to cross it lmao. anyway, here, have this. already plotting a part two of them reuniting after Resson đŸ„ș
The assembly are too busy arguing to notice you standing in the doorway — arguing about you, you realize quickly.
“We can’t send her to her death.”
“We’ve been forced to send 15 to their potential deaths so far, with 92 more to go. Why is she any different from the rest?”
“You know damn well why, Ulices,” Brennan snaps. “Everyone else has a fighting chance, but there’s no way she’s going to survive the parapet, let alone the rest of the year.”
“There’s 250 steps up to the parapet. She won’t even make it to the top,” another voice adds.
“There’s still time to fix that. They don’t leave for another three months.”
“You can’t fix her,” Trissa says firmly. “No amount of  time in the gym will change the fact that she’s defective. She’ll never be able to do the things that the others can. She’s too weak.”
The word echoes in your ears. Defective. 
Your gaze falls to the empty chair — Xaden’s chair. What would he say if he was here? Would he let them call you weak? What would he say? Maybe it’s for the best that you don’t know. It would only hurt you to hear that the boy you’ve always idolized and regarded as an older brother call you weak and pathetic.
“So what would you have us do?” Felix asks.
“Either we send her with the rest, knowing her name will be at the top of the death roll on conscription day, and her blood will coat our hands forever, or we tell Navarre that she died, and keep her here. It should be believable enough that the weakling girl with the heart problem died young. It’s a miracle she hasn’t died already.”
Tears blur your vision, and you bring a hand up to swipe them away with your sleeve. The whisper of the fabric moving is enough to give you away; five heads turn toward the door, seeing you standing there.
Something compels you to run away — likely the fact that you’d been caught eavesdropping by the entire assembly. These meetings aren’t secret, but there’s an unwritten rule that the kids aren’t invited, especially if it isn’t a routine meeting.
Brennan calls your name, but you ignore him, moving faster, intent on getting back to the room you’ve been sleeping in and shutting the door in his face so you can cry alone in peace.
He catches up with you quickly, his strides longer and his movements faster. He lays a gentle hand on your arm. “Hey,” he coaxes. 
You stop and turn toward him, knowing that you can’t run again — he’s faster than you, and moving would also be a very bad idea right now; you feel like you’re going to fall over.
“I’m so sorry, kid.”
“Not your fault,” you rasp, fumbling for the wall and pressing your hand into it to support yourself. 
“Hold on to me,” he instructs. “Can I check your pulse?”
You nod, regretting the motion when it makes your head spin faster, and wrap your hand around his forearm, using him as an anchor to hold yourself up.
“Attagirl. Keep breathing.”
You work on deepening your breaths, filling your lungs all the way before you exhale, like he’d taught you last year.
Hot, frustrated tears slip down your cheeks. 
They’re right. You are defective. You can’t even run down a hallway without your body giving up on you. You wouldn’t be able to get up to the parapet, let alone cross it after that exertion — you can hardly stand right now. 
“Talk to me,” he asks after a moment. 
“I don’t want to go,” you say softly, “but to stay here, and let all my friends go where I can’t ever see them or help them, knowing they could die any day
”
“I know. I felt the same way when my sister started, but she’s a full fledged Captain now. Commands her own unit in Montserrat,” he says quietly, but it sounds like it pains him to say it — to tell you that she’s on the other side of the fight. “They’re all strong, they’ll make it through. And they’ll have each other to lean on.”
You nod again, and this time it doesn’t make you dizzy. “Yeah,” you say hollowly. “They’re strong.”
He immediately knows what you’re getting at. “Hey. I didn’t mean it like that. I don’t think you’re weak. I think you’re just at too much of a disadvantage to risk it. Your strengths lie elsewhere— not in the physical.”
“If only we could be scribes,” you sigh.
“If only,” he says softly. “My youngest sister is going to start in the scribe’s quadrant the year after this. She’s a lot like you, actually. She was born with an issue with her bones. She’s got a heart of gold, though. And she’s incredibly smart, like you. I think you’d get along well.”
“If it wasn’t for this, yeah,” you say quietly, looking down at your relic. 
He tries to hide his wince, but it doesn’t quite work. “I think she’d come around once she realized how great you are.”
“Whatever they decide, can you be the one to tell me? Alone?” you ask in a small voice. “I don’t want to see the looks on their faces. I know I’m an embarrassment to them, but I don’t want to be reminded of it.”
“You aren’t an embarrassment,” he chides softly. “But of course. I can tell you when they make their decision.”
“Thank you.”
He opens his arms to you. “C’mere, kid.” 
You step forward, letting him guide you into a gentle embrace. 
“I’m proud of you.”
“For what?” you ask into his shoulder.
“For surviving. For not giving up. For dealing with your symptoms every day and not letting it break you. For so many things. You’re amazing.”
“I don’t feel amazing.” 
“That’s okay. I hope you will someday, though.”
“Someday,” you agree softly.
“Alright. Let’s get you back to your room.”
You nod, keeping a hand on his arm while he walks with you. He’s slowed his steps to match yours, but he doesn’t show any sign of impatience.
“Thank you,” you say softly.
“Of course, sweet girl. Get some rest. Bodhi should be back in a few hours.”
Your cheeks warm as you realize that Brennan knows about whatever you two have going on — you don’t call yourselves boyfriend and girlfriend, but you’re very close, and there’s definitely a spark there. 
He drops a kiss to the top of your head, waiting to make sure you’re safely inside your room before he heads back down the hall. 
———————
Bodhi shows up around sunset, his hair damp from the showers. He sits beside you on the edge of your bed, leaning back against the pillows. “Hi, lovie.”
“Hi.”
He tilts your chin up with a gentle movement of his knuckle, seeing the tears in your eyes. “Whoa, hey, what’s wrong?”
“I’m not going to Basgiath,” you admit quietly.
“What?”
“The assembly decided that I’m too weak to even make it up the stairs to the parapet,” you answer, your voice wavering. “They’re going to tell Navarre that I died, because of my heart problem.”
Why are you crying again? You went over all this with Brennan already and got it out of your system — but evidently not.
Bodhi looks conflicted. You watch the gears turn, and see him weigh the good and the bad. You won’t have to endure everything riders are put through, and the assembly is right, you wouldn’t survive it. But to stay here while everyone else risks their lives, with no way to communicate with them, would be crushing. And if you’re found out, Xaden’s life will end along with yours.
He gathers you up into his lap, holding you close. He smells good, clean — soap and the tiniest bit of cologne, something warm and woody. “I’m so sorry, honey.”
“I am too,” you sniff. “I wish I could be there with you, but
”
“It’s for the best,” he says gently. “I’d rather you be here, safe with Bren and the elders, than overworking yourself every day, and making things worse.”
“I know,” you whisper. “I still feel guilty about it, though.”
“It’s not your fault. It’s just how you were made. And you know it doesn’t change the way that any of us feel about you. We all love you so much, because you’re you, and you’re our friend.”
“Love you too,” you sniff. “M’ gonna miss you so much.”
“I know, sweetheart. I’m going to miss you too, every day. But I promise I’ll write — I know first years can’t send letters, but I’ll ask Xaden or Gare to send it for me. They’ll probably have to sign their names on it, and address it to someone else, but you’ll know it’s from me by the handwriting.”
That makes you feel a little better, but you’re still worried. “But when you graduate, and move across the continent
”
“Then I’ll come visit you here, as often as I can. Maybe I’ll be closeby. Or maybe Tyrrendor will be freed by then.”
“Maybe,” you sigh. 
“I don’t want you to think for even a second that this means I’m letting go of you,” he says firmly. “You’re stuck with me, even if we’re apart, okay?”
“Okay,” you say quietly. 
“Good. Now, I have had a very long day of having my ass kicked by Imogen, and I’d like to spend the rest of it laying here with my favorite person.”
You’re his favorite person? You must be looking at him in disbelief, because he laughs lightly, his chest shaking against yours. “Yes, you. I thought it was obvious. You’re the one I spend all my time with.”
“You’re my favorite person too,” you say softly. 
He smiles. “I’m glad we sorted that out. Get comfy.”
You scoot off of his lap, settling down on the mattress. He slots himself in beside you, letting you work your way under his arm to rest your head on his chest. He’s put on a considerable amount of muscle in the last few months, and it’s so nice to rest your body against his like this, a strong arm keeping you in place as he reaches toward the foot of the bed for a blanket to drape over the both of you. 
You hum sleepily, content to rest in the warmth of his body and the softness of the blanket.
“This good?”
“Perfect,” you murmur. 
“Perfect indeed,” he agrees softly, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead and wrapping his fingers around your wrist, resting his thumb over your pulse point. “Goodnight, sweetheart.”
“G’night, Bo.”
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nicksolemnlyswears · 17 days ago
Text
FORGED UNDER FIRE
BATTLEFRONT NEWS
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blurb: he promised he would come back, but he didn't. now you're alone trying to navigate your grief while lilith tries to reason with you about the unexpected news
pairing: brennan sorrengail x rider! reader
word count: 2.4k
a/n: hey guys! i'm back with another part of FORGED UNDER FIRE. i heard what you guys had to say on the poll so this is placed right before and right after brennan's death. as always there are no fourth wing spoilers much less onyx storm.
it's been really fun writing lilith sorrengail and i'm sure she's a little ooc, i love her character but i need to reread iron flame to gain the essence of her character. i've got a couple of ideas for the next part but i'll leave it in your hands again with another poll at the end!
thank you for all the nice comments in the other two parts of the mini series. i can relate to so many of you who come seeking more fourth wing content because the withdrawal is so real. my heart goes out to all the other fourth wing writers, i literally jumped from joy when someone posted a boyfriend!ridoc fic. he's my absolute favorite.
omg if any of you have any liam fics you'd like to share let me know!!
i'm rambling! enjoy!!
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The world outside Brennan Sorrengail's room was falling apart. Navarre was not prepared for this war. Riders turning their backs on riders, dragons fighting dragons, a thing of nightmares. All because of the rebellion led by Fen Riorson.
But inside his small, basic room, the first rays of the sun filtered through the window, falling over him. It made his hair appear more red than brown, and it highlighted the growing amount of freckles on his face.
He had been awake for hours indulging in your body before setting off to fight in the rebellion because the war was not worth sacrificing one quiet morning with you where Brennan got to memorize every bit there was to you. The protests of his exhausted body were mere whispers, muffled by his love and desire.
Brennan accepted the importance of his signet and his position as a soldier in the military. He acknowledged his duty to Navarre, but it couldn't stop him from spending time with the person he loved most in the world.
"Don't go," you whispered as your fingers roamed over his naked chest. The pads of your fingers ghosted the spot where his heart beat, and an arrow would later be impaled-almost like a premonition.
He had to go, and you accepted it. It's how a rider's life went, always going and never stopping. You had a mission yourself and would be leaving the station later on in the day. Still, you hoped neither would be forced to part.
"To leave you is against my will," he responded, kissing your forehead as his living breath tickled your skin. His hand was tangled in your hair, pulling your face to his neck as he soothed himself of the gnawing feeling growing in the pit of his stomach. "You know I'd prefer to stay like this."
Your evolving relationship was blessed by three years in Basgiath, where you saw each other nearly every day. Not long after graduation, the bubbling rebellion boiled over and tore you apart, only allowing you to see him days at a time in between missions.
But whenever you and Brennan parted ways, he always promised he'd come back. It meant everything to you that he returned because he alone had become your favorite person. He was the one you could depend on for anything. He was your family.
Straight out of Basgiath, without wasting another moment, he decided to marry you to make it a reality. It's you and Brennan against the world as it had always been.
"You will be safe," you stated, lifting your head to kiss his jaw.
"I'll come back for you," he agreed, pulling the bed sheets over your bodies to indulge in you one last time. Unbeknownst to either of you.
You trusted he would return; it didn't matter if he was injured or mentally exhausted. Brennan would return to your side in no time. He hadn't failed you up to that moment, but little did you know that Fen Riorison would target him or that his trusted partner Naolin wouldn't be able to save him and would lose his life as well.
The news reached General Sorrengail first. A nervous rider handed her the missive and gave his report before scurrying out of the office. His behavior alerted Lilith that something was amiss. As she unscrolled the missive, her eyes widened, and tears welled up in her eyes. Rain fell outside as more clouds stormed closer, unleashing lighting and torrential winds.
She held the missive close to her chest as she lowered herself to a leather chair, a lonely sob falling from her mouth. Her son was dead, gone from this world. Her firstborn had been claimed by Malek before she had the chance to greet him there.
When you returned from your mission, you were guided directly into Lilith Sorrengails's office, pity-filled eyes directed towards you. Knots tightened in your stomach, yet your brain refused to understand why. The fatigue of the mission rendered your thinking slow. Perhaps it was denial protecting you for a couple more moments.
Lilith waited for you in her office, her back to you as she stared at the storm she created outside. A war strategy you naively believed. You didn't know the woman well; the war had everyone distracted, and you barely had time to get to know your husband's own mother. She was far too important to spare that kind of time.
"General Sorrengail, you asked for me." Your voice was hoarse from trying to communicate with the other riders over the wind. Lilith was carefully still, her hands behind her back as a missive was clutched in her fist.
Lilith turned, and the first thing you noticed was her bloodshot eyes. You tilted your head in question, but she didn't speak. She grabbed your hand and placed the missive in it. She left you standing in the middle of the room alone to deal with her own grief.
Now that you knew, she could tell the rest of the family. Lilith didn't know you well, but she knew how much Brennan adored you, and as his wife, you had every right to know of his death before the rest of the family.
He was dead. You knew. Reading the missive wouldn't change the fact he was gone and broke his promise. You only read the missive in case your gut was wrong, but you were met with cruel disappointment.
The edges of your vision darkened, and your ears ringed unbearably, and it would not stop until the war was finished. The following weeks were spent in a daze, mourning and fighting. You refused to take leave while others fought the war Brennan couldn't escape.
You don't remember much except for crying whenever you were in private and fighting the rebellion ferociously, through salty tears and bitter pain. Seeing the riders that betrayed Navarre made your blood boil, transforming your grief into wrath.
The moment Lilith took care of Fen Riorson, the ringing in your ears eased up. A cot waited for you at the healer's quadrant. Your body was spent and exhausted, wounded in many ways, but it could be healed, unlike the pain in your chest.
The only one who could heal it was long gone. The anger towards the rebellion turned to sadness, and then it morphed into resentment. Because how dare he leave you after everything you went through.
Finally, the resentment calmed into loneliness, leaving you with an emptiness that nothing could fill. The rebellion took a big part of you, and you debated whether you could go on. The old thought of making a name of yourself was a faint whisper in your head. It didn't seem like enough to keep you going without him.
The breeze teasingly swayed your body, reminding you of all its capabilities. It almost threw you off once, and it can do it again. This time around, it could succeed. You'd willingly let the wind sweep you away, cradling your body in a tight, cold hold if it meant reuniting with Brennan.
The war was over. Fen Riorson was taken care of by Lilith Sorrengail, but only after he took your Brennan's life. The first man to love you. The first person to reach deep and take you out of the protective shell you created when younger.
Brennan showed you what it was like to make friends and laugh with them and that bonding with people not related by blood was worth it. Those ties are worth more than anything. He taught you that loving was a good thing, and then he left you.
Just like that.
Calliss was nearby, her golden eyes set in your swaying form. She won't let you fall to your doom; she'll catch you because your pain was gut-wrenching but human. And like all human emotion, it will pass. Heartbreak will not be the downfall of the rider she chose oh so carefully.
If you turned your head, you could see Brennan, five years younger, softly smiling at your younger self, who was frozen on her spot fighting vertigo, encouraging you to breathe and keep walking.
It was clearly the past, seeing as the abyss under the parapet no longer bothered you; your footing was firm despite the wind. You're also older, and Brennan is no longer with you. It's only a sight you've conjured up.
"I hope you're not planning on jumping," Lilith spoke, breaking the illusion. She strode down the parapet like a grassy path in a forest, and the air stilled.
"It is tempting, but Calliss would not appreciate it." You responded truthfully, avoiding her gaze.
Calliss' chuffs from a distance. "That's right, human. I did not pick you just for you to be your own demise."
Lilith had been trying to speak with you, not as General Sorrengail but as Brennan's mother. It's the reason you've been avoiding her. You don't want to speak about him. All you want is to forget and feel some form of relief.
"What are you doing here then?" Lilith questioned, standing next to you.
"Remembering. This is where we met," you said simply, tilting your head towards her.
Lilith hummed, assessing your stance. "I remember when he first told me about you in his second year. He had yet to realize he was smitten with you, but the way he spoke told me and Asher all we had to know."
Screwing your eyes shut, you hung your head. Nothing will change the fact that he's dead.
"I know you're heartbroken, but there is still much to live for," Lilith told you. You had to listen to her because you might not jump today, but that reckless behavior will follow you far into your career.
"I'm sure." Sarcasm dripped from your voice as you began to walk off the parapet.
Lilith followed you. She must speak with you about an important matter she was made aware of. "There's something you must know. The healers, they said-"
You stopped and turned on your feet, the air continuing to rush around you, "I know what they said. I've known for weeks, Lilith. It's why I stand here wanting to fall, but my feet are stuck to the ground."
There was anger in your eyes, hot tears threatening to fall from your eyes. This was not supposed to happen. Not now, and maybe not ever. One thing is for certain, it shouldn't have happened if he wasn't supposed to be alive.
"Did Brennan know?"
You sighed and trekked the last piece of parapet before falling on solid ground, "We did not know. And yet, a part of me continues to wonder if knowing would've changed anything. Would he have stayed behind? Would have he been more cautious knowing he had a pregnant wife? Or would it all have played the same?"
"He had a role to play in the war."
You scoffed at Lilith's remark, the older woman's jaw tightening. She's General Sorrengail; of course, she would think nothing would've changed, but Brennan was not like her. He wouldn't have sacrificed everything for a war.
Upon your silence, she continued, "Due to your performance in the war, General Melgren has given the orders for you to join my team."
"Has he? Or do you want to keep an eye on me?"
"Your signet has proved to be of more use than anyone thought," Lilith sighs, "Plus, if you allow me, I want to be part of the baby's life."
"Who is to say I'll keep it?" You say bluntly. Raising a child on your own was never part of your plans, and you may birth the baby, but keeping it seems unlikely.
"Pardon?" Lilith was shocked. She never imagined you'd consider otherwise, seeing as you're carrying the last piece of Brennan.
"I have no family. I was abandoned as a child, left to fend for myself. Starting a family was never in the forefront of my mind," you say harshly, knowing Lilith was judging you.
"You and Brennan married. We became your family from that moment on," she says, holding your arm when you turn to leave.
Calliss voiced her displeasure at a distance. She's been more protective since the news of your pregnancy broke. Or rather, when you found out because bonding with a dragon means having no privacy.
"No offense, but it's not like we've spoken much in the last two years."
General Sorrengail scoffed, "So you're going to do what your parents did to you and abandon the child?"
That was a low blow. Lilith wanted to get a rise out of you, and she got it as you tore your arm from her grip and stalked forward to be face to face.
"You cannot speak of things you know nothing about, General. My parents abandoned me with a senile great-grandmother who loved to use a wooden stick to 'train' me and beat me just because she was in a bad mood. She used to say I owed it to her because she allowed me to live with her. Fifteen years I had to endure until I realized being homeless was a better way to live." Your breaths came out in heavy pants as you spilled your guts to Lilith, "So no, I will not be like my parents because although I am not fit to be a parent, I would never leave my child in an abusive home."
Lilith remained quiet, taking in the weight of your words. "Fine, but please let Asher or me know if you need anything. You don't have to go through the pregnancy alone. It's up to you."
With that, Lilith walked past you but not before saying, "No matter what, you are to report to my office in the morning, but you can also join us for dinner tonight."
Lilith was relentless, and she was going to try her best to get through to you because you were young and scared, and your husband just died. She should've reached out to you sooner and formed a bond, but she didn't, and now she's paying the price of her daughter-in-law feeling more alone than ever and wanting to give up a part of her family.
It was Lilith's mistake that you don't consider them family. She wanted to fix it to make you realize that you have her and Asher and Mira and Violet, and if you allow them, they will love you as one of their own.
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thanks for reading!! this one is a wee bit longer than the previous one but it seemed fitting to capture all reader went through after his death.
we'll eventually get to brennan finding out about his child and reader finding out he's alive but for now we need more backstory <3
tag list (if you'd like to added to future parts let me know!) : @berry-marys @cherubinn7 @ladynyx91 @kylaisra @detectivehailey @liahaslosthermind @thebreadisthetruevillian @bbkissme99 @honethatty12 @sunny1616 @akshstudios @yadirrez @xoxomoonlightbabe @jaynawayna @littlepippilongstocking @itsmytimetoodream @honethatty12
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danikamariewrites · 2 months ago
Note
A request for maybe an AU with Liam. And reader and Liam meet at a ball with plenty of fluff and joy and fun! I just want to go to a ball with this man, what can I say?
Prince Charming
prince!Liam Mairi x princess!reader
Notes: Hi! I hope you like the AU that I came up with. I loved the thought of Liam as a prince and more of a lighter tone on the arraigned marriage trope since Liam and reader want to be married. They got lucky and Liam def needs a happy ending after what he’s been throughđŸ„Č
And Happy Onyx Storm month! I can’t believe we are so close to book 3, so it’s only appropriate we kick off the month with a FW fic.
Warnings: arranged marriage
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The clock tower chimes seven as I step down from the carriage. A footman holding out his hand to help me down. As I give him a kind smile my brother rounds the carriage in a huff, giving me a disapproving look.
I give him a smirk, waiting for him to take my arm. “You know I’m supposed to help you down, not some servant.” He chastises, guiding me inside the castle. Keeping smiles on our faces and nodding at other nobles we recognize to hide our sibling spat. “Oh brother, you’re too traditional. I could’ve gotten out myself.”
My brother jokingly tsks at me. He knows it’s a smaller insult I can give about him being to like our parents.
“War is here and we need to make you look like the princess you are, little sister. Remember why we are here.” My brother’s tone a mix between commanding and somber. With Navarre at war my arranged marriage is closer than I’d like.
Navarre and Tyrrendor need to unite as kingdoms. I can’t say I’m happy about this being sooner rather than later. If it were up to me, I’d be flying in my father’s legion. My dragon has been itching to stretch her wings, the promise of going to war making her restless.
Tonight my brother is presenting me to Prince Liam. This will be the first time we’ve seen each other since we were teenagers. I don’t remember much about him. I remember his soft blonde hair and kind smile as we explored his family’s castle when we were children. As we grew older our meetings became more formal and less adventurous. I wish I remembered where all the halls led, or what passage was behind which painting now. I could use the escape.
Though Prince Liam is kind and I’ve never heard a bad thing about him this whole situation is still nerve wracking. Much more nerve wracking than flying into war, something I’m at least prepared for.
My brother and I are guided by knights to the hall just outside the throne room. The Mairi family crest staring at me on the carved wooden doors. I take deep breathes, calming myself.
My brother gently squeezes my hand, giving me a reassuring smile. “It’ll be fine. You know Liam, he’s kind.” I nod in agreement. “Besides,” he adds. “I would never let father marry you off to some tyrant.” That gets a laugh out of me. We smile at each other. “I’m thankful you’re here.” I say before we’re announced and the double doors are opened.
The crowd cheers, parted down the center of the room so we can walk straight to the dais. I keep my eyes anywhere but the crowd or royals before me. My brother notices my timidness and pinches my elbow, as if to say look up.
I stand straight and I’m met with the most beautiful, striking blue eyes. I remember a lot about Liam, but those eyes have grown more captivating as he got older. And he’s taller. Holy hell, a lot taller.
His blonde hair looks the same. Still shiny and soft looking. I want to run my fingers through it.
We come to a stop, bowing before the king and queen of Tyrrendor. “King Isaac, Queen Viviane, thank you for the kind welcome. It’s wonderful to be back in your home.” I barely hear my brother’s words. My undivided attention on Liam, and his on me. As my brother continues his little speech it feels like everything in the room has fallen away.
Like it’s just Liam and I. How has it been so long since we last saw each other? Is there such a thing as love at second sight? I blush under his gaze, earning a smirk from the prince. My prince.
Liam steps down from the dias right in front of me. My brother slips his arm from mine, Liam taking my hand, bringing my fingers to his lips, kissing them softly. His eyes never breaking away from mine. “It’s lovely to see you again, y/n.”
“Likewise, Liam.”
King Isaac stands, declaring the festivities begin. Liam lead me to the dance floor while my brother is whisked away to the King’s table.
Liam wordlessly takes my hand, placing his other on my hip. The way he’s looking at me sends a chill down my spine. I can see something twinkle in his eyes. My heart leaps at the hope of love.
As the music starts Liam leads me around the dance floor. All eyes on us as the prince and princess reunite for a dance.
“You look even more beautiful than the last time I saw you.” Gods, his voice. A sweet, deep melody that makes goosebumps break out along my arms. “Well, it has been a few years.” That earns a small laugh from my prince.
Suddenly becoming self conscious, I am unable to meet his eyes. “Hey,” he murmurs. Taking his hand from my hip to tilt my chin up. “No need to be shy with me, love.” I smile at him like an idiot. Good gods, how do I find war on dragon back easier than talking to my fiancĂ©e?
“How are you feeling, about all this?” I ask in a hushed tone, as it not be heard by nosy gossips.
Liam takes a moment to think, making my heart drop to my stomach. “Happy.” My eyes widen slightly at his honestly. “Really?”
“Of course. Y/n, from the moment I met you I was enamored by you. And seeing you again tonight made me realize there is no one I’d rather spend the rest of my life with. It’ll be an adventure, like we used to have.” I smile at the memory of a younger us.
Liam dips me, pulling me up then spinning me away from him, then back to his chest. Swaying us to the rhythm of the music.
“How are you feeling?” He whispers. “The same.” I say truthfully. “When I saw you tonight I remembered every time we met before. How safe I felt with you. How much I like being with you.” the truth tumbles from my lips before I can stop.
Liam spins me again, pulling me flush against his chest this time. His hand sliding to the small of my back. It felt like it belonged there, forming to the curve of my spine perfectly. Our lips are mere inches from each other now, our breaths mixing. My eyes dart from his lips to his enticing blue ones.
I lean up on my toes as Liam leans down to meet me halfway. As much as I don’t want our first kiss to be public I can’t deny him. The pull to my prince magnetic. When our lips meet my heart pounds against my ribs. Begging to be impossibly closer to his. The kiss was slow and exploratory. Both of us exploring each other’s mouths. Learning slowly what makes the other gasp or moan.
Breaking apart my eyes stay closed, reveling in the moment. They flutter open a moment later to see a flushed Liam. His hands gripping my hips, keeping me close. He leans down, those soft blonde curls tickling the side of my face. “Is the secret passage behind the big painting still your favorite?” I give him a small hum as a yes.
He takes my hand again, quickly pulling me from the ball room to go find the passage. To our next adventure.
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unholly-reader · 20 days ago
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Shadowcloaked // Chapter 3
Welcome Darling Readers!
Chapter III has arrived and we have some action going. At the moment it's clear that Xaddy and Drina have something going on but stubborn mules won't do anything about it. Don't you worry - this might change sooner than later.
I've been having a hard time but this has been a great escape from daily troubles. Another chapter might be coming by the end of the week, but for now I hope you enjoyed this one.
Let me know in the comments what you think about it, maybe you have some theories of your own or any wishes for what you'd like to see happen in the future.
Xoxo
(Un)Holly
*****************************************************
The midnight moon peeked through the windows of Xaden's chamber as he tossed and turned unable to give into the much needed sleep. Dressed only in his sweatpants he could feel the gentle breeze sweeping over his exposed skin, but it wasn't the reason why his chest was covered with goosebumps. He was still thinking about what general Tavis had said about making a marriage proposal to Queen Maraya. The mere thought of having to say goodbye to Drina on account of the sorry excuse of a prince that Artasan was boiled his blood in seconds. It wasn't just the fact that she would have to leave their home for good, but the thought of another man's hands on her. The thought of her lips touching Artasan's. Xaden wasn't sure why it enraged him so. He couldn't put his finger on the feeling, but he was certain that Drina meant to him more than any friend ever had. She was like a melody he was taught to listen and the only rhythm his body would ever follow. He could almost feel it, a desperate need for her touch crawling beneath his skin. Like a primal instinct making him go feral at the thought of her belonging to anybody else.
Suddenly, he heard a quiet knock to his door. He had a inkling who it might be in the middle of the night, but still he wasn't certain. Quickly, Xaden stood up and walked towards the ebony door and pressed the silver handle, revealing Drina's figure tightly wrapped in one of her favourite fluffy plum coloured robes.
- I couldn't sleep.
- Neither could I.
Without another word, Xaden stepped away, letting Drina walk into his bedroom. The second she entered the room she felt the familiar scent enveloping her in its sweet embrace. Xaden's smell was always something that could calm her down in the matter of seconds. She was barefoot but the cold tiles beneath her feet didn't seem to bother her. Without so much as asking, Drina walked straight towards the bed covered in black sheets, sitting at its very top with one of Xaden's pillows behind her back. Looking around the room, she felt like she came home. It was a rather simple bedroom considering Xaden's station but he was never one for extravagant interiors. A set of furniture consisting of an ebony desk, a rather wide dresser and matching wardrobe, inside of which resided most of his swords and daggers. The walls were painted in graphite, blending in smoothly with the rather dark interior, but it certainly matched the owner's aesthetic.
Xaden plopped on to his bed, automatically leaning against the cushioned headboard and reaching his left arm around Drina's shoulders so that she could put her head on his chest. It was a habit of theirs. Usually when one or the other was struggling with nightmares, they would stay in their rooms together, cuddling with Alexandrina's cheeks pressed against Xaden's chest and his arms securely wrapped either around her upper frame of her waist. Even if it was mainly to make sure Drina felt safe and secure, her proximity gave Xaden a sense of peace. The smell of her hair was an aphrodisiac in itself with the unmistakable sweet scent of her jasmine shampoo. As per usual, Xaden nuzzled his face into her dark, luscious locks, enjoying the gentle wisps of chocolate hair tickling his nose. It was one of those rare moments her head wasn't covered in intricate braids and cascaded freely down her back. It was basically muscle memory. Xaden's hand slowly going up and down Drina's back, tangling his fingers in her hair.
- You know I won't let it happen, right?
- As much as I believe in your ability, I don't think you have the authority to overrule your father's command, Xay - Drina's voice was barely over a whisper as she flung her arm around his torso - What he says, goes.
- Not you - Xaden replied, subconsciously pulling her body closer to his - He can take anything else, but not you. I will not allow it.
Drina slowly tilted her head, looking up at Xaden, whose onyx eyes were already on her. She felt the unspoken words neither of them were brave enough to say tingling her tongue like an old scar and she knew he felt it too. It was a veil they have thrown upon their friendship the second they started discovering these more-than-friends feelings, but somehow they made themselves believe they could never be.
- If it means our victory and besting the Navarrians, I will be ready to pay this price, Xaden. I have always known that aristocracy had its flaws, being involved in politics being one of them - Drina whispered with a breathy voice, drawing mindless figures on his side with her fingers as they stared at one another like enchanted creatures.
- Let me rephrase it, Sunshine - Xaden growled, putting his free hand on her cheek as gently as he could - I'm not going to sacrifice you. Your place is right here by my side and no kings or queens can ever change that.
There it was again. That silent scream of their hearts, begging to be heard and followed. Everyone around them knew they shared feelings for one another. Feelings so strong they would step into the deepest pits of hellfire for each other, but despite that they kept denying what was basically imprinted into their souls. So this was just another time Xaden was gazing longingly into Drina's shiny eyes. Just another touch of his hand on her rosy cheek. Just another unsaid confession bit back for the sake of Gods only knew what hidden purpose they seemed to have found. In spite of the circumstances and their constant stubbornness, they enjoyed those little moments. Drina would nuzzle her face into Xaden's hand and he would relish in her intoxicating scent and her ever soothing presence.
A pleasant silence fell between them like a delicate veil, enveloping the both of them in a warm embrace. The wind whistled gently outside, moving the curtains hanging by the windows in waves, and filling the room with fresh night air.
- You always say the right thing, Xaden. Any lady would be lucky to have you choose her as your future duchess, Your Grace - Drina tried working a small joke into the conversation, but the seriousness in his eyes told her she didn't succeed in lightening the mood.
He didn't answer right away. He just kept looking at her, caressing her cheek with feather like wisps of his fingers like she was the most precious thing he had ever held.
- And yet there is only one I could ever see standing by my side.
Drina felt her heart speed up like a frantic bird whipping its wings in the smallest cage. His presence, his words, his touch, everything was driving her mad. She felt herself lose control over her body as she stretched her neck, seemingly leaning up to meet him halfway. Xaden, feeling her move, slowly started tilting his head downwards, his gaze jumping from her sapphire eyes to the rose petals of her plump lips. It was so close. A few seconds more and finally they would meet in the kiss they had wanted for so long. If only she didn't pull back.
- You need to sleep.
Her breath tickled the skin on his chin as she spoke quietly, mere inches from his lips. The little bubble burst open and somehow they both returned to the reality where they were too afraid to give into their feelings.
- You do too - Xaden replied, kicking himself for not taking the chance to claim her lips as his own.
Silently Drina nodded, sliding down onto his chest and once again putting her cheek to the warm skin of his torso, closing her eyes. Acting on old instincts she threw her leg over his, letting a part of her robe fall off, revealing the scar on her right knee. Xaden's gaze instantly fell to the exposed skin of her leg, feeling his hand subconsciously reach out to touch her, but he resisted the sudden urge, biting his lips.
Drina quickly gave into the sleep's embrace, snuggling against Xaden's body, while his thoughts kept racing back and forth. The second he noticed she had already fallen asleep, he placed a gentle kiss atop of her head, throwing the covers over her body. She was perfection in his eyes. Not only because of the way moonlight fell on her angel-like face or the way her dark eyelashes threw shadows on her cheeks, but because of the goodness of her heart and her bright mind. He felt honoured to be able to call her his friend, but that didn't change the fact that he desired much more than that.
- I have already chosen you as my future duchess, Drina. It's always you. Today, tomorrow and for the rest of my days - he whispered gently, putting his head on top of hers, but she couldn't hear him anymore.
Or could she?
* * *
Two days later tensions were still rising among the members of Fen's council as they awaited news of the rumoured audience between King Tauri and Queen Maraya. The little information they had acquired was just enough to tell them that the monarchs were in fact treating in regard to a military treaty between their nations, but no motions were yet put in action. Drina was almost as concerned with the affairs of the state as she was with the whereabouts of her dear father. Still there has been no news of his arrival, despite what the Duke had told her only two days prior. She was trying her best to focus on the tasks at hand, but she couldn't help but worry about her dad's fate.
- He'll be just fine, Dri. You gotta have a little more faith in your father. Otherwise you're going to start spiralling into madness just like you did when you spent the entire night worrying where Xaden and I had gone on his sixteenth birthday.
- And I was right to be worried as you two idiots decided it would be a great idea to chase an entire wolf pack out of its den. Both the Duke and your father had to rescue you and in case you forgot, I was the one who had to patch you up.
- A slight error in judgement, nothing more. Cheer up, Dove.
- Easier said than done, Gar.
Garrick Tavis had always been there for Drina ever since they were little. One sunny afternoon a very reckless little boy ran into Alexandrina's room with a squirrel in his hands and that's when it had begun. As strange as their first meeting was, Drina could not imagine her life without Garrick in it. Since she was an only child, she never had any idea what it would feel like to have someone her age to play around with. And then Garrick magically appeared in her life and almost automatically became her somewhat older, yet much less responsible brother. They had this indescribable bond and there was no denying they cared about each other very much. In spite of the clear differences between them they had managed to find some common ground and create a harmony over the similarities they had shared. Garrick would always protect his little sister and Drina never stopped looking out for her reckless brother. Blood or not, they became family by choice.
Now, over ten years after they had met, not a day passed by when Drina wouldn't spend her time in Garrick's company or more often than not on training, polishing her already impressive combat skills. It was with Lord Fenrys's blessing that Garrick took over a part of her training sessions while at the same time strengthening their friendship even further. So on days like this one when Drina's mind would race against time wondering and worrying about almost everything and everyone, Garrick took her out on the grounds of Riorson House and made sure she was too tired to even begin to worry.
- I know, Dove. That's why you're going to have to flip me on my butt at least twice today - Garrick laughed joyfully, swiftly dodging her less than precise strikes to his left side - You're going to have to work a little harder than this, Dove.
- Stop moving around so much so that I can actually hit you - Drina replied with a shaky breath, quickly following her friend with yet another punch directed at his shoulder - I can't take a good swing if you jump around like a distressed frog in the pond.
They were surrounded by whimsy trees and bushes in the grand backyard of the residence. It was a quiet enough spot and secluded from the rest of the residents. The grass was growing almost wild, reaching as high as Drina's knees and the wind was seemingly softer than what they could expect outside the castle walls. The little meadow was usually empty and there was not a soul in sight, making it the perfect spot for a private butt-kicking between the two friends.
- Says the girl who's feet barely seem to be touching the ground - Garrick responded, circling his dark haired friend - Maybe you're just too slow for me, Vartell.
It was like a lightning struck in her mind when Drina decided she had had enough of her dear "brother's" teasing. She took a moment to compose herself, gathering her thoughts and expelling the distractions clouding her head. Without hesitation she placed her next steps mindfully and with mouch more care than she had done so far. Her body was one with her mind as she turned halfway kicking her leg right into Garrick's right side, finally delivering a much deserved strike. He was almost as surprised as she was, grunting loudly when her foot made contact with his body while grinning like a fool.
- Now that's more like it!
She was nowhere near being done. Without further delay she threw a single punch into his sternum, knocking the air out of his chest. Using the advantage of his current indisposition, Drina swung her leg at his knees making him buckle down. She was being smart using all the weak spots that presented themselves. With Garrick on his knees, she delivered yet another hit this time aiming for his ribs. Only this time he caught her hand just in time pulling her over his shoulders and slamming her body down on the grassy lawn. Acting on instinct Drina pulled right back, twisting his arm in a compromising position almost like she was aiming to break it out of its joint.
- Is that what you had in mind, Gar?
- More or less - her replied with a heavy sigh, barely holding a grunt of pain - Perhaps a break is in order?
- Not when I'm finally winning, big brother. Besides, that's only the first time I managed to put your ass on the ground. I need to do it at least once more.
Garrick had a hard time coming back with a witty remark with his arm compromised but fortunately for him two guards approached the field where they were practising and saved both his arm and whatever was left of his reputation.
- Lady Vartell, the Duke has asked that you meet him in his office. It is quite urgent ma'am.
Drina didn't think twice as she released her friend's arm and jumped to her feet swiftly.
- Does it have something to do with my father?
- The Duke wouldn't say, my lady. All he said was that he required your presence at the earliest convenience.
Garrick quickly got back on his feet, standing behind his friends and keeping one of his hands on her shoulders. Just feeling his presence made Drina feel a little more at ease, but it didn't calm the shattering beat in her chest. She simply nodded and followed the two guards but first she turned her head towards Garrick sending him a smile.
- We're going to have to postpone that ass whooping of yours, Gar - she tried sounding cocky and confident but she couldn't pretend that she wasn't scared of whatever news the Duke would convey.
Garrick simply reciprocated her gesture with a wide grin decorating his handsome face winking at his shorter friend with the same devilish glare he always had in his chocolate eyes.
- Don't you worry, Dove. I will not let you off that easily next time.
The light tone of his voice helped ease a part of Drina's emotions but still she walked with a heavily beating heart in her chest only wondering what the Duke's request might have been about. Following the guards right back to the castle and getting inside she could feel all the scenarios swooping before her eyes, imagining the absolute worst. She knew the path to the Duke's office almost too well so it felt like seconds rather than minutes before they reached the ebony door fitted with a golden handle. Drina raised her hand to gently knock reading herself for whatever awaited. Upon hearing the Duke's voice beckoning her to enter she pushed the handle and walked right in.
- Ah, there you are Drina. Please, come inside.
Despite having visited Fen Riorson's office more than once before its interior never ceased to amaze her. Three of the six walls consisted of almost crystal glass letting in as much sunlight as it was humanly possible. The furniture consisted of an old-fashioned mahogany desk currently covered with piles of papers and maps and letters with broken seals, a leather covered armchair in the colour of a ripe cherry and two rather large cupboards filled with dusty books and scrolls with ripped edges. All in all it was a rather light room considering the amount of sun that was purling inside despite the dark burgundy walls and yet another old tapestry hanging on the east side of the room. At his desk sat the owner of the room, carelessly glancing over the papers splayed before him raising his eyes once he noticed Drina's entrance.
It was no surprise that the Duke was a handsome man. Much like Xaden he possessed pitch black hair, his skin most certainly kissed by sunlight more than once and a strong jawline with a stubble enhancing his striking features. The main difference between him and his only son were the eyes. While Xaden's were the gold speckled onyx irises which Drina learned to adore so much, Fen were as green and the deepest ends of the forests of Aretia in the middle of spring. One glance of those emerald orbs could melt anyone right where they stood, but somehow she became immune to this effect.
- You summoned me, Your Grace.
- Always the prefect diplomat, aren't you Drina? - Fen replied with a question smirking at the young lady before him - You have no idea how much you resemble your mother. Miriam also had a way with her words that left everyone in the room rendered speechless.
Drina smiled gently at the notice of her mother's memory.
- I can only hope to become half the woman everyone says she was - she replied politely, walking a little further only to stop a foot or so before the Duke's desk - But I don't think you summoned me here just to exchange fond memories of my mother. Is something the matter?
- There is but it is not as serious as you might think it. At least not yet.
Alexandrina felt her heart slowly speed up watching the Duke's face change as his smile faltered into a less than relaxed grimace.
- Does it have something to do with my father?
Fen opened his mouth to answer her question but his words were drowned by the sound of his office' door opening.
- I swear to Zihnal if I ever have to climb those damned mountains there and back again in less than two days time, you're coming with me, Your Grace. Your ideas, you might as well contribute in their execution.
Drina spun around quicker than the newcomer managed to finish his sentence hearing the voice of that one person she'd been waiting to come back for days. Once she fully turned she was met with the ever familiar pair of dark blue eyes of her beloved father.
- Dad!
Forgetting all about the etiquette and the proper way to act around a duke Drina jumped straight into her father's already open arms, wrapping her own around his neck. Fenrys didn't hesitate to reciprocate his daughter's embrace, tightly pulling her body against his. Even if he was no longer coming back to the comfort of his own residence back in Sefrisgen, coming back to Alexandrina was its best equivalent.
- It is so good to see you, little shadow.
- As it is to finally see you, Dad. I was so worried something had happened to you.
- I'm quite alright, my darling. Although I can't say the same for the conflict at hand.
Drina felt her breakfast rising to her throat as she looked back and forth between her father and the Duke. Suddenly she began to understand why Fen Riorson needed to see her.
- Have you heard something about the treating between Queen Maraya and King Tauri? Am I really going to have to marry prince Artasan?
She tried her best not to let them know she was terrified of the mere idea of a political marriage and having to leave her home behind, most importantly having to leave Xaden behind, but there was a hint of fear detectable in her tone. Fen shook his head, standing up from his seat.
- Thankfully there is no need for such extreme measures, but I called you here for another equally serious reason.
Alexandrina felt at ease hearing the Duke's words but stayed alert still unaware of the full extent of the problem at hand.
- Whatever you need, Your Grace.
- How much do you know about killing dragons?
So we're definitely screwed.
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auraisereigh · 1 month ago
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"One chance"
chapter ten
Brennan Sorrengail x Riorson reader Blurb: When finally reunited with her brother Star finds herself overwhelmed by the state he is in. wc: 5.3 ☆ SPOILERS FOR THE EMPYREAN SERIES. Wounds/injury. Yelling, False accusations? Uses pronouns: she/her. i use Star as a nickname as y/n sounds weird, and i'm awful with names.
I am working on the requests you lovies put in but I'm currently extremely stressed and busy with school. ☆
Masterlist ☆ Dragon guide ☆ Star's story ☆ Empyrean guide ☆ Support me
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I look at my brother for the first time in over than two months. He looks almost the same as before but he has visible bags under his eyes, and the way he's leaning against our father's throne is tense, like he's in pain.
Aethan pats my back before leaving us alone. The nauseousness is my stomach turns to pure relieve. He's alive.
"Xaden." I whisper. "Star." He responds but even his voice holds a note of pain.
I walk closer to him. I go to hug him but his hands keep me at a small distance. "Don't." He says. His voice is breaking. My worry skyrockets. "What's wrong?" I ask, my face twisted in worry. "Tell me." I urge. I need to know what's wrong, I need to help him.
"It's my back." He responds and his voice wavers as I see a tear fall. I frown and walk around him. I grab a hold of his shirt and the sweater he's wearing and slowly pull it up. I make sure to be gentle, what's on his back must hurt a lot of he's on the verge of crying. I never see my brother cry, the last time was when mom left.
When I lift the shirt and first see his back, I gasp, covering my mouth in shock. My body trembles, the sight overwhelming.
It's covered in cuts.
I lift his shirt up higher, almost to his neck. His entire back is covered in cuts. Some look fresh as if they were reopened, some actually look like they're healing. I lower his shirt carefully. i take a deep breath, calming my own emotions.
"How?" I whisper. "I made a deal to ensure the safety of all the rebellion children. At the age of Twenty we have to go into the Riders Quadrant. I took responsibility for all of them. If they do something that's against Navarre, my life is forfeit." He explains through the pain even though I can see he's trying to hide it.
Damn him. Damn his deal. This moron, I swear. For the love of the lord. What was going through his mind. Yeah sure, let me take responsibility for all those children.
"Each cut
 it represents one child. All 107 of them." What? I blink, trying to get my mind to cooperate. "Who did it?" I ask, my voice cold. I have an idea, I just hope it isn't that person but deep down I know it is.
"General Sorrengail." He says. My mind turns to pure cold ice. "Get to the healers. Now." My voice leaves no room for discussion. "I'll find you after that." That's the last thing I say before I walk out the room, my anger visible on my face as I walk past by the assembly members.
I make up to the third floor. I don't even bother knocking, I just hope it's unlocked. I push the door open and slam it behind me.
Brennan flinches from the sound. "Your mother is a wretch. A cruel wretchful woman." I bite out as I restrain myself not to yell. He frowns and he gets up from where he sits on his desk chair. "What do you mean?" He ask softly. Why is he always that soft? Does he also think I'm that fragile that if you bite back I'll tremble and shatter?
"Your mother dragged a knife hundred and Seven times through my brothers back!" I scream but there's more pain in it than anything else. His hands go to my shoulders to ground me. "Don't touch me." I brush his hands off. "I didn't know, I swear." He assures me, letting go of me and giving me some space. "She burned down my home, my city, my people. She executed my father, my family. She cut into my brother a hundred and Seven times! For you! She did that for you. Her son, who she thinks is dead. She's willing to wipe my culture, my home off the map, for you! To avenge you. And for what? For a son who just ran away, who's not even dead." Most of it is pretty much true. All of this was not his intention, but it still happened.
"Why don't you go back, huh? Go home. To your mother. Tell her she did all of that for nothing. Tell her that Fen Riorson shot you with an arrow. Tell her you survived and that you didn't go home because you don't stand by what she does. By the lies she tells. And maybe, in one go, tell her that Fen's daughter is alive so she can come and kill me too." I yell the last part. I put all my pent up emotions in those words. I can feel my eyes glow their red hue.
I'm so tired. Of all this, every little thing that goes wrong pushes me into an even darker corner. Where there's good, bad usuals follows. When I want to open myself up to him, this stuff happens, which seems to backfire all the progress I had made to even get to the point of considering opening up to this man.
He takes a step back and my heart aches. Where there's good, bad follows, Xaden is back but now Brennan is further gone.
I take a step back myself, until I lean against the door I slammed not even five minutes ago. I slide down the door till I hit the ground. He also takes a seat on his chair again. We don't say anything for a while. It's just a quiet, tension filled room. But then Brennan speaks up.
"I didn't mean for any of it." He says quietly. "I didn't know what my mother would do when she'd found out I was....gone." He explains. "But she hurt you, in more than one way. And even if it's not my fault, you wanna take it out on someone, and the closets to her is me so that makes it understandable that you'd yell at me but do not think for a second that this is something I wanted." His voice is soft but he holds a stern tone at the end. That's fair, to defend himself.
I don't respond, I don't see the point. I've said what I wanted to say.
I sit drained on the floor, completly exhausted by emotion "yeah... Fair." I mumble. I don't even have the energy to argue with him anyway. He holds a fair point, none of this is his fault. All of this is weirdly connected in a way he could have never guessed was possible. Then why does it hurt so damn much? Why does it all have to hurt so much?
I grab the door handle to help me stand up. Once I stand I lean against it before standing back on my own legs now that they don't feel like jelly anymore. I rub my temple, a rough headache forming, my throat dry and aching from yelling.
I open the door when he speaks up. "Where are you going?" He asks, getting off his chair and walking to me. "I have to help my brother." I mumble, headache pounding.
"I know you do." He replies softly, putting a hand on my arm. "You don't trust me. Every time you try to something happens that makes you distant. Give me a chance to prove I can be trusted. One chance is all I ask." His voice is soft and pleading. "Why do you wanna know me? I'm not even that special." I question. What is it about me that he keeps trying to know me? "Because Naolin always said you were special. From what I heard you were an amazing friend to him and maybe that's what I want for us." He explains. I can hear the vulnerability in his voice.
"I'm not a good friend." I state, my voice drained. "One chance." He repeats, his eyes look straight in mine. Those same eyes that glowed red not that long ago. "One chance." I whisper.
His eyes light up at my whispered words. "Thank you." His words are sincere, genuine. "I'll come to your room. Friday night, then you can still get some time with your brother, is that okay?" I nod and something in my heart grows fuzzy at the thought of spending time with him.
"Okay, good. I'll see you then." He smiles. I manage to give him a small, genuine smile back.
☆
Taglist: @honethatty12 @smashee0789 @awkardnerd @randomperson1234sblog@bangtanxberm@hyperactive-bookworm-0 @littowl
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sexypantsriorson-na · 1 year ago
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HELP! I THINK I'M DUMB!
*****SPOLIERS FOR FOURTH WING AND IRON FLAME BELOW****
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I read this Rebecca Yarros x Variety interview (https://variety.com/2023/tv/news/iron-flame-spoilers-rebecca-yarros-fourth-wing-tv-series-interview-1235781877/) after listening to it recommended several times in an episode of Fantasy Fangirls Podcast. The question I included confused me and I just can't figure it out.... lol (I think maybe it is the way RY's response is worded idek) so naturally I came here in hope someone else can explain what they think it means to me or we can chit chat about wtf is going on...
So obviously I get and appreciate the part where RY says Xaden is not in love with Violet just based on Brennans stories. The part that confused me was the "He’s a kid. And he loves Brennan. He doesn’t know Mira. If he has one chance at revenge, it’s Violet. And not only is Violet his chance for revenge, but the mother has just taken that chance away from him. So naturally, his instinct because he doesn’t know Violet and he does know Brennan — and I would hope that if someone knew my sister, they would care for me, but they wouldn’t know me."
So is RY saying that he wanted to kill Violet the first time he saw her/ realized who she was on the parapet as revenge for what her mother did (despite the fact that he "loves" Brennan - maybe his hatred of Lilith out weighs his love for Brennan?) but couldn't because of the deal he made with her? So then what does that statement "So naturally, his instinct because he doesn’t know Violet and he does know Brennan — and I would hope that if someone knew my sister, they would care for me, but they wouldn’t know me" mean? Is he going to try and make not killing her more bearable by telling himself its for Brennan...??? is that what is going on? is that what she means?
And then if were gonna take it a step further there are several statements throughout both books when Xaden tells Violet (or the reader during his POV chapter) that he has loved her longer then she realizes, he has always been hers, yada yada yada. Obviously they were attracted to each other atop the turret - they both admit that. Then in Iron Flame he tells Violet (when speaking about Cat) that you don't have to like someone to fuck them.
So from this article/ RY's answer to this questions in combination with pros from the books were supposed to think that Xaden wanted to kill Violet because of his hatred for Lilith despite the fact that he loves Brennan (and Brennan, like everyone else who knows Violet (including their mother who put her in the riders quadrant for the exact reason that she would make the choice to go against Navarre once she found out the Fables of the Barren were indeed NOT fables and be killed for it in the scribes) believes she will make the right choice when the time comes, and I would assume if Xaden told Brennan about the favor his mom called in would have told Xaden the same) so he keeps Violet alive because of the deal with her mom but also out of respect and love for Brennan and ends up falling for her on an emotional level (since it is made very clear he is physically attracted to her from day one) along the way......?????????????
Is this what RY is saying???? I'm just very confused and of course, like Violet, I was gutted when I found out he only kept her alive because of the deal with her mom and likely would have killed her (loving Brennan or not) had she not called in the favor.
What is anyone else thoughts!? Please converse I'm begging!!!
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starry-sea-galaxy · 3 months ago
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🐟〜 〜 “The heart is right here...” 〜 〜 🌊
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CYNTHIA || 19 || SHE/HER
Askbox Status: Open for anything!!
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✅ What I will write:
Fluff
Angst
Smut
Character x reader (or character x reader x character)
Crack
⚠ What I won’t write:
Character x character
Graphic things
Yandere
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♡ – MC Masterlist:
đŸ’« Enora Astralis
🧊 Nivia Schnee
💎 Marianne Navarre
🩇 ‘Raven’
I made separate MCs for each love interest, and I plan to show them once I learn more about the lore (and make more stuff for them--)
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Tags used here in this blog:
#your biggest desire is... 🐩‍⬛ — For anonymous confessions and stuff! (I’ll choose not to answer them most of the time, but I will post a small reaction pic-)
#destiny cafe chats — For any ask besides requests! If you wanna chat or gush about your favorite boy, I’ll be here! ^^
#dreaming... đŸ’€ — For me to gush about Love and Deepspace 😉
#jasmines after winter — For anything that’s requested!
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🐚 Last Updated: January 11th
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inthedayswhenlandswerefew · 11 months ago
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I’ve been going through your list of HOTD fanfiction and I have just finished reading the one about Aegon and his Celtigar Angel and I CAN’T STOP CRYING HOW COULD YOU DO THAT (I’m gonna send you my therapist bill!)
That being said, I was wondering if you could tell me which one of your other hotd stories has an unhappy ending. I’d like to be prepared. I really can’t go through pain and disgrace happening all the time with no hope in the end. I’m a hopeless romantic when it comes to fiction.
I loved the story of Aegon in Alaska (possibly my favorite! The mystery reminds me of Nora Roberts’ suspense books) and, since I’m kind of obsessed with The War of the Roses in England, that Aemond x Navarre Girl is *chef’s kiss*.
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Hello lovely!!! Thank you so much for reading and loving my fics, even though WTWICD was painful. I really had no business traumatizing my poor readers like that! NTTF and NICIY are definitely fan favorites đŸ„°đŸ’œ I don't have a favorite fic myself, but NICIY Aemond is in my personal opinion the most irresistible of all my Aemonds 😂😍
I'll put my answer to your question under a Keep Reading...
While all my fics have plenty of angst (as you know by now), the only other one with a truly tragic ending is my first HOTD fic, Have You No Idea That You're In Deep? That was the story I was most notorious for before WTWICD 😅 But of course it has lots of beautiful moments too!
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