#nasir khan x reader

[self-proclaimed-chaotic-good]

Starting Over | Naz Khan x Reader (Oneshot)

Prompt: History

Fandom: The Night Of (HBO)

Words: 1008

A/N: Been listening to First Day of My Life by Bright Eyes on repeat while writing this, craving some former best friends to best friends again to potential lovers.

-

Naz stood at the front gate of a familiar house, his jacket zipped halfway despite the frigid New York cold. He wanted to feel the cold. He also knew that waiting outside would make the rumors worse, especially since he was not completely proven innocent of that murder than seemed to feel like it was yesterday yet also years ago at the same time.

“Naz?” you called out curiously, climbing out of the taxi.

He turned around and offered you a small smile, maintaining his distance. He wasn’t sure where your stance was with him no matter how deep your history with him is. You went to middle school together and had been inseparable best friends until college, when your busy lives separated the two of you. It wasn’t like the two of you hadn’t tried to keep in touch. He blamed himself for the rift that forced itself between you and worried that his ordeal had made it worse.

You broke out into a smile, fast walking to stand in front of him. You raised your hands, then hesitated. “Is it okay if I hug you?” you asked.

Naz nodded slowly, confused. Once he gave you permission, you wrapped your arms around him tightly and sighed in relief. He was still tense, not used to this kind of treatment after what he had been through, but there was still a smile that made its way to his lips again.

“I was so worried about you,” you said, “I wanted to stop by to see your folks but I was afraid that I was overstepping their boundaries. You’re so cold, do you wanna come inside?”

You withdrew yourself and reached out to grab his hand. Naz shook his head, stepping back.

“Don’t think that’s a good idea,” he said. “All of New York knows what happened the last time I was invited into a house late at night.”

“It’s none of the entirety of New York’s business whether I invite you in or not. You make it sound like you’re a vampire. You don’t have to come in, but know that you’re welcomed to stop by,” you said. “Just call me before you do.”

“I don’t have your number.”

You pulled out a pen from your bag, rifling through for a piece of paper before giving up. You grabbed Naz’s arm and wrote down your number on his wrist. When you were done, he stared down at it, wondering whether he should wash it off once he gets home. He wasn’t counting on actually bumping into you tonight. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to face you. Now that you’re here, would it be best to save you the heartache and burn his bridge completely?

He looked up and found you staring at him, that familiar smile still on your face. He didn’t realize how often you had given that smile to him until he lost it. You stepped forward and zipped up his jacket all the way up.

“It’s getting late,” you said sadly.

Those three words, the way you said them, made his throat tightened. He cleared his throat, looking around at the neighborhood before kicking a small pebble off the sidewalk. Why were you still kind to him after what he had done and what people thought he had done? It was one of the things about you that frustrated him. He deserved your anger, but you weren’t giving it to him.

You forced out a short laugh and sniffed. “Can’t ruffle your hair anymore,” you tried to joke.

Naz rubbed his shaved head, his hair reaching the prickly phase and lightly scratched his palm. “It’ll grow back.”

“Then, you have to come back when it does,” you said.

He opened his mouth, then shook his head with a smile. “I guess I do. If you want me to.”

“Of course, Nazzy.”

You stuck out a hand and waited expectantly. Naz laughed incredulously.

“Are you serious?”

You nodded, your grin growing wider as Naz mirrored you. It had been a few years, but the muscle memory was still there. Just like old times, you and Naz did your secret handshake, ending with a fist bump. Naz felt lighter than he had in years, like your radiant energy and burned out some of the dark tendrils that held onto him

You were the first to break away, much to Naz’s dismay that surprised himself. “I’ll see you around, Nazzy. Stay safe.”

“Yeah, maybe you will.”

You made your way towards the small gate, walking in halfway before turning back to Naz. “I really missed you, you know?”

“Didn’t think anyone would miss me after the things I’ve said to you, the things that have happened over the years.”

“That’s in the past. Besides, I was more disappointed that talking it out would have solved our years of grief and… we didn’t.” You walked back to him and rested a hand on his cheek. “There’s pain and pleasure in having someone knowing you better than you know yourself. I think at that time, we were too focused on that pain to fix it.”

Naz sighed. “I’m not the same Nazzy that you knew from high school, (Y/n). A lot has happened. I don’t think we can go back to how things were. I might hurt you.”

“Then, we’ll just have to start over,” you said.

He slowly slid your hand off his face, squeezing it gently, before stepping back once again. “I’ll see you around, (Y/n). Go in first.”

You nodded, walking away slowly. It took a lot of willpower to not turn around for the fear of him disappearing again. You just had to trust that you will see him again. As soon as you were safely inside, Naz started his walk back home. He looked down at your number, digging in his pocket for his phone and saved you in his contacts. His thumb hovered over the call button, but he locked his phone instead.

Maybe it was possible to start over.

[self-proclaimed-chaotic-good]

Black Water | Nasir “Naz” Khan x Reader (Oneshot)

Trope Prompt: Hurt/Comfort

Words: 2151

Fandom: The Night Of (HBO)

Warning: Minor swearing, mentions of drug abuse, murder, and attempted assault. Some spoilers of the end of the show.

Summary: Naz tries to seek help after his ordeal and meets someone that saw him more than a suspected murderer and would help prevent him from losing himself. Title inspired by Black Water by Of Monsters and Men

-

How can anyone ever recover from that ordeal? Just one night of defiance, of wanting to fit in, turned Nasir Khan’s life around for the worst. His curiosity, his indulgence, would have had a different result if he had been another ethnicity, if he hadn’t gone back to the house, if he had done this and that. It’s over. It’s done. And he can’t undo that night.

Here he was, trying to get into the good graces of his mother and his therapist and maybe even himself, sitting in a large room in a circle with other people. He couldn’t help but think back at his mother’s expression during the trial, during those visits, and the night he came back home.

He was grateful that his father, though disappointed in him, believed that he was no murderer. Was he completely innocent? No. But for what he was charged for, yes. But that look in his mother’s eyes made him feel that he might as well have killed that girl, that there was a part of her that believed that he could have. And no matter how much Naz tried to drown out the noise, the stares, the guilt, it continued to haunt him even as he closed his eyes.

The pillows were too soft, the mattress, too. The need for that high itch at him daily, but he was trying to ignore it. If not for himself, for his mother. That still doesn’t stop him for taking sleeping pills, maybe one or two more than necessary just to sleep.

After he was released from Rikers, his lawyer told him to ignore the stares. They’ll eventually move on to the next scandalous thing. But he also added that he should see a counselor or therapist. At the time, Naz didn’t take it too seriously until the shakes were too obvious and after one large outburst at his unsuspecting younger brother, he decided that he should at least try therapy.

The group therapist was late, but it gave Naz time to take in the other patients. It felt more like the Breakfast Club for drug addicts. An athletic boy with his football hoodie on and baggy jeans that had his legs spread and his arms crossed as he was leaning back, almost sliding to the floor, a former preppy girl in all pink with long sleeves that was continuously brushing her hair, a stand-offish man with a gray hoodie and black skinny jeans and black glasses that seemed to curl into himself, and you with a striped sweater and skinny jeans looking at the group with a grimace. Naz guessed that he was the criminal in the group.

The athlete took out his phone and started scrolling through social media, snorting at a post. The pink girl paused her brushing to look around, as if the noise snapped her out of her trance. Her eyes landed on Naz and widened, recognizing his face from the news.

“What?” Naz said indignantly, sticking his chin up at her.

She quickly looked away and continued to brush her hair. Naz looked at the group again, seeing them casting side glances at him. You, however, were the only that looked at him head on. Once your eyes met, instead of fear or amazement or sympathy, your eyes were sincere and kind. You gave him a soft smile that made his throat tighten. He was the first to look away as he harshly cleared his throat and sniffed.

You sighed, looking down at your watch and shook your head. You stood up, making your way towards the door. The therapist, Christofer with an ‘F’, was always late to the group sessions and you were close to being late for work. They had unfortunately rescheduled you to one of the most inconvenient shifts that you had outright told them that you were unable to work, but it was either you work it or get fired. Your boss was an asshole like that.

“Where do you think you’re going, stripes?” The athlete said with a smirk, knowing how much you hated that nickname.

“Unlike all of you, I have a job,” you replied, “and I’m not going to be sitting around in a circle while Chris finishes with the receptionist. It’s not like anyone’s stopping me from leaving in the first place.”

“Then you’ll have to keep coming to these sessions longer,” the gray hoodie man spoke up, looking up with unfocused eyes.

“Greg, you’ve never missed a session and you’ve been coming here a lot longer than I have. Recovery is relative.”

“It’s Gavin,” he muttered, lowering his head.

“No, it’s not. Tell Chris that I’ll have to figure out how to attend the next session,” you said over your shoulder before leaving.

Naz bounced his knees, staring at the door as it slowly closes before shooting up and leaving as well.

“Hey, man, it’s your first day. You can’t just leave like that!” Greg called after him.

“Watch me,” Naz said.

Once he was out of the room, he whipped his head around, trying to find the direction you took. He saw a flash of your sweater turning the corner down the hall on the left, so he followed. He jogged down just in time to see you walk out the building towards the street.

“Wait!” he called out.

You walked for a while until you heard his voice again and you realized he was talking to you. You turned around and saw him jog over.

“Ditching, too?” you teased.

He nodded. “Where are you going?”

“Work, down at the Thai cuisine restaurant. Have you been there yet?”

“No… can I walk you there?” he asked, scratching the back of his head.

You nodded. You turned and waited until he fell into step with you. “So… first day and you’re already ditching, huh?”

“Yeah, I, uh, I went because of… reasons, but I don’t know if I can stay in that room any longer.” He stuffed his hands in his jacket pocket. “You not gonna ask about the… you know…”

You remained silent, stopping at the crosswalk. “Do you want me to?”

“Not really.”

“Then I won’t. It’s not my place, anyways,” you said with a shrug, moving along with the crowd as the sign changed. “I’m (Y/n), by the way. Why’d you run after me?”

“Naz. I don’t know. You seem more approachable than the others,” Naz said, “I guess I figured you weren’t gonna be all weirded out talking to someone like me.”

That made you chuckle. “Trust me, Naz, the others were weirded out when I first joined the group. Now, it either doesn’t matter to them anymore or it’s a joke.”

The two of you reached the restaurant and Naz followed you in without a word. The smell of spices surrounded him as he walked in and the heat inside made it too uncomfortable to wear a jacket. You told him to pick a seat as you disappeared into the kitchen, already taking your apron out of your backpack as you walked through the door.

Naz took off his jacket and took a small table near the back of the room next to the wall, another waitress setting utensils and a glass of water in front of him. You emerged from the back with your uniform and apron on, a pen and notepad in your hands. You switched with the other waitress and took over the other tables and taking their order, moving back and forth from the tables to the kitchen, before reaching Naz.

“I don’t… I won’t… I haven’t brought that much money with me,” he said, holding his hands out.

“It’s fine, I got it covered. Something simple to start with?” 

He flipped through the menu and ordered. You took it and sent it to the kitchen before carrying out your duties. It wasn’t a crowded restaurant, but it was enough to keep busy. Naz was allowed to wait around even after he was done as long as he kept ordering drinks and snacks. He kept glancing at the time, ignoring the texts that his dad were sending him. You would check on him every now and again and he would try to distract you from your work.

When you were finally finished with your shift, you had changed out of your uniform and plopped down on the seat across from him. With his presence, you didn’t feel as tired as you usually would after a busy shift. Naz finished up his drink and stood up, telling you to follow him outside.

He led you away from the noises of the streets towards a bridge. He walked towards the edge of the water and leaned against the railing.

“I don’t know what happened that night,” Naz whispered, staring out at the water, “I just wanted to go to this party that the guys from basketball were holding. My friends was supposed to pick me up, but he backed out at the last minute. I really wanted to go, so I stole my dad’s cab. That’s when it all started going wrong, really. She was a passenger with her own story and maybe it would have been a more interesting love story if things hadn’t… ended the way it did. I never had a reason to kill her. She became a forbidden fruit in the papers, and if any other man had tried, they would have gotten away with it. Because I’m… me, I paid for it. She wasn’t supposed to be a fruit or a poor victim or anything. She was a girl with a rough past that was seeking a companion, someone to have a good time with.”

He didn’t know why he was telling you all of this. Maybe so he could get it all out, hoping to make sense of it all, to assure himself of how things had happened the night of Andrea’s death. There was no conclusion, no clarity or justice being served. He was proven neither innocent nor guilty, leaving everyone speculating whether he had really done it or not. That weight will be hanging above his head for a long time.

You stood next to Naz and crossed your arms on the railing. “Remember I told you the others were weirded out when I joined those sessions?” Naz nodded. “I had been in jail and was released a few months prior to my first session.”

His eyes widened. “For what?”

“Murder,” you stated, looking at him.

He opened his mouth a couple of times, then said, “Did you do it?”

“I did.”

The two of you remained silent for a moment, letting the distant sounds of the city and the water flow through the cracks of the bubble that you and Naz shared.

“You know why I go to those sessions?” you asked softly, “My dad and my brother were addicts and dealers. I ended up shooting up every now and then, especially when things get stressful. My mom was long gone by the time things escalated. They fell into debt and messed with the wrong people and offered me as payment.”

“Well, fuck.”

“Those people didn’t touch me. Not after I killed one of them,” you said, looking down at your hands as if you could still see the blood staining them, a hint of iron reaching your nose. Whether it was from the memory or the railings or both, you didn’t know. “They backed off after that. By the time I came to from the shock, the police were already busting in to arrest us. I was finally proven innocent on the grounds of self-defense, but by that time, it had been several months, maybe a few years, that I had been locked up. I didn’t keep track anymore.”

“Well, then…” Naz pulled out a beer bottle from his jacket.

“Where did you get that?”

“The fridge was open to customers, I just didn’t pay,” he said cheekily, shaking the bottle at you.

You shook your head, taking your keys out for the bottle opener and popped the cap off before taking the first swig. “I hope you do continue those sessions, though. It’ll take time for people to move on, but you should try, too,” you said.

“If you promise for more dates like this,” he said with a smirk.

“This is a date, is it?” He shrugged. “Maybe less alcohol, no drugs, no stealing cabs, and let’s see where this goes.”

“Okay.”

You raised the bottle to him. “Misery loves company.”

He took it back and tilted his head back to drink. “And such lovely company filled with misery.”

You smiled, scooting closer to Naz and rested your head on his shoulders while the both of you looked out at the quiet black water spattered with red and blue as a police car drove passed, carrying Andrea’s abusive ex-boyfriend in the back.

[self-proclaimed-chaotic-good]

Tommy Akhtar (City of Tiny Lights)

Partners Masterlist [Hiatus] (Might be rewritten)

Nasir “Naz” Khan (The Night Of)

Black Water

Starting Over

Changez Khan (The Reluctant Fundamentalist)

The Promise of Stars (Continuation of As You Wish)

Hermann Kermit Warm (The Sisters Brothers)

By the Shore (Chemical Husbands x Reader)

Debating Sleeping Beauty (Continuation of By the Shore)

Elias Rahim (The OA)

Consequences of Curiosity (HAPtives and Reader)

[Bodhi Rook fics found HERE]

[Carlton Drake fics found HERE]

[self-proclaimed-chaotic-good]

Writer’s Month 2019 Masterlist

The complete list of all of my Writer’s Month submission for this year based on the prompt list given by the Writer’s Month blog.

-

Day 1: Word Prompt: Annoyance - Progress! (Doom Patrol | Cliff Steele and Reader) Drabble

Day 2: Trope Prompt: Hurt/Comfort - Black Water (The Night Of | Nasir “Naz” Khan x Reader) Oneshot

Day 3: Setting Prompt: Coffee Shop AU - This Old Coffee Shop I Love So Much (Rogue One | Cassian Andor x Reader) Oneshot

Day 4: Trope Prompt: Road Trip - On The Road (Supernatural | Team Free Will and Reader) Oneshot

Day 5: Word Prompt: Sound - I Always Will (Prisoners | Detective Loki x Reader) Drabble

Day 6: Word Prompt: Kids - Dear Shara Leia (Star Wars | Poe Dameron x Reader) Drabble

Day 7: Word Prompt: Sports - Crimson & Clover (Bill & Ted | Ted “Theodore” Logan x Reader) Oneshot

Day 8: Word Prompt: Colors - Her Odyssey ( The OA | The OA x Homer Roberts) Drabble

Day 9: Trope Prompt: Time Travel - As You Wish (1/2) (Rogue One/Doctor Who | Bodhi Rook x Reader) Oneshot

Day 10: Setting Prompt: Dark AU - Warning Sign (Star Wars | First Order!Poe Dameron x Reader) Oneshot

Day 11: Trope Prompt: Whump - Stay (John Wick | John Wick x Reader) Oneshot

Day 12: Word Prompt: Dreams - One Upon A Dream (The Umbrella Academy | Diego Hargreeves x Reader) Oneshot

Day 13: Word Prompt: Feelings - Jackpot (Prisoners | Detective Loki x Reader) Oneshot [Continuation of I Always Will]

Day 14: Trope Prompt: Fairy Tale - Waiting By An Open Door (Venom | Carlton Drake x Reader) Oneshot

Day 15: Trope Prompt: First Time - The Family Business (Supernatural | Adam Milligan x Reader) Oneshot [Continuation of On The Road]

Day 16: Trope Prompt: Soulmates - As You Wish (2/2) (Rogue One/Doctor Who | Bodhi Rook x Reader) Oneshot

Day 17: Setting Prompt: Accidental Baby Acquisition - Nobody Matters Like You (John Wick | John Wick x Reader) Oneshot

Day 18: Word Prompt: Poetry - Ocean Eyes (The Sisters Brothers | John Morris x Reader) Oneshot

Day 19: Trope Prompt: Mythology - I Can Explain (Prisoners/Supernatural | Team Free Will and Detective Loki) Oneshot

Day 20: Word Prompt: Weird - Red Bikini (Doom Patrol | Doom Patrol and Filipina!Reader) Drabble

Day 21: Word Prompt: Hope - No Tree Survives Alone (Rogue One | Bodhi Rook x Cassian Andor) Oneshot

Day 22: Word Prompt: Summer - You Gave Me Something To Lose (John Wick x Reader) Oneshot [Continuation of Nobody Matters Like You]

Day 23: Word Prompt: Death - Happy Together (The Umbrella Academy | Klaus Hargreeves and Reader (slight Diego Hargreeves x Reader)) Oneshot

Day 24: Setting Prompt: Superheroes/Supervillains - What We Do in the Avengers’ Tower (The Avengers | Loki Laufeyson x Reader) Oneshot

Day 25: Word Prompt: Flowers - Planting Seeds In A Garden You Don’t Get To See (The Avengers | Natasha Romanoff and Reader) Oneshot

Day 26: Trope Prompt: Wedding - Growing Old With You (Bill & Ted | Wedding Singer!Ted “Theodore” Logan x Reader) Oneshot

Day 27: Trope Prompt: Celebration - Puzzle Pieces (Rogue One | SniperPilot (Cassian Andor x Bodhi Rook) x Reader) Oneshot

Day 28: Word Prompt: Family - Carry On My Wayward Family (Prisoners/Supernatural | Detective Loki x Reader) Oneshot [Continuation of I Can Explain]

Day 29: Trope Prompt: Height Difference - And Then It Hit Me (Star Wars | Poe Dameron x Tall!Reader) Oneshot

Day 30: Word Prompt: Pining - Run Away With Me (Rogue One | Bodhi Rook x Reader) Oneshot

Day 31: Setting Prompt: There Was Only ONE BED - Put Your Arms Around Me (John Wick | John Wick x Reader) Oneshot [Set during Nobody Matters Like You]