#narrator too like bro you saw me kill 5 whole kids and other shit but ONE TODDLER and suddenly im left without narrator

[the-acid-pear]

Honestly Roger is cute but he's so naive fr bro doesn't even know this is like my 11th kid dead like man. This is just what I do. Look at Max in the office I think that's worse than any child murder I'd have committed. Stanley is lucky I framed him because I still didn't make any tapes.

[betelguwuse]

Another book review hehe

So after reading Cinder and Ella I read Snow Whyte and the Queen of Mayhem and like, it felt okay while I was reading it and I was definitely having fun with it, but the more I think about it the more I feel like a lot of things were dumb or pointless. I feel it had the opposite problem as the other book, like the most basic plot points of the original fairy tale are there but most of the creative liberties taken were weird.

I’ll start with things I at least kinda liked first, though each one still has issues. (1) I liked the whole beginning and backstory stuff, but it lost me when she was dropped off at a relative’s place as a baby to be protected, it felt more like sleeping beauty (at least the disney version) plus it puts a huge barrier between snow and the queen (her name isn’t actually snow in the book but I’m calling her snow anyway lol), like their conflict feels really impersonal and there’s not much feeling there. In the original story and most movies she’s abused or just hated by the queen and you kinda feel the queen’s resentment toward her building up as she gets prettier than her, but in this one she tries to kill snow as a baby because she’s jealous of the attention the king gives her. Which I guess jealousy was always her motive, but this version felt weird because she doesn’t even love the king and she’s kinda just an evil sadist who hates everyone from the beginning. (2) I loved the idea of the magic mirror being a person the queen had trapped in there, I’d even wrote the same idea myself when I was like ten lol, and him being the narrator we saw everything through was pretty neat, but holy shit dude he was such a simp for the queen it was so annoying. I don’t throw the word simp around lightly but man if anyone deserves the label it’s this guy. Also he doesn’t actually have a name as far as I can remember so if he comes up again I’ll just call him mirror guy lol. (3) I like the love interest being a real character and childhood friend of snow instead of just A Prince. And while snow does magically fall asleep at the end, she doesn’t need a kiss from him to wake up (the kiss thing doesn’t totally bother me or anything but it’s always nice to see variety with the magic sleep concept lol). (4) Snow has winter magic powers which is a cool idea but it doesn’t really amount to anything. (5) I also loved that the dwarves all live together because the kingdom discriminates against them, it adds some ~we live in a society~ realism and answers the question of why they all live together (like as a kid I assumed they were all just bros in the movie, but an actual explanation was cool). I liked that they were various ages too, it’s nice to have some variety from ‘old bearded dude’ dwarves lol.

Okay onto the things I straight up hated. (1) Basically everything else about the dwarves unfortunately. One was they all had dumb made up names that were hard to remember and keep track of. Also there were a few instances of ableism at them that didn’t come from the bad guys and was kinda just brushed off. I can’t remember anything specific but I remember getting that oof feeling a few times. And lastly one of them just straight up fucking dies for literally no reason. Obviously I’m not against dark themes or death in fairy tales, there actually were a few other deaths in the book before this one, but when I say this one was pointless I mean it with my whole heart. Dude literally just dies in an accident that none of the characters could have predicted or done anything about, so it’s not like it was meant to show some kind of character flaw in someone or have anyone learn from it, and needless to say it had nothing to do with the main story or villain. It was literally just written in to make the characters/readers sad and it did not work on me, it was just bad and cringe. (2) Although the love interest was an actual character, he still turned out to be a prince at the end which is just...like okay but why? Snow is already a princess and it’s not like she needs to marry other royalty because the evil queen didn’t, so???? But what makes it really annoying was that he was going by a fake name the whole time and only reveals it at the end. Like I get that his kingdom has the whole ‘live as a peasant’ program, but he didn’t have to change his name to do that, or he could have told snow way earlier in the book that he was hiding his identity as like a secret to share with her when she was doubting him or something, idk it felt really weird. (3) The queen isn’t defeated by snow or the prince or any dwarves, some rebels in the kingdom just happen to show up during the big confrontation and kill her. They were mentioned in the middle of the story so I figured they might come back to team up with the main characters, but they just show up as a deus ex machina and hooray the evil is defeated! Like what!! There’s literally no direct conflict (emotional or otherwise) between snow and the queen in the whole book!! Snow literally does nothing aside from use her magic elsa powers to delay the queen a little, but her powers are just a protection spell that mirror guy put on her so it’s not like she’s even choosing to use them herself!! (4) Mirror guy is snow’s real dad. I cannot put into words how frustrating this is. As the narrator he has no reason to keep this information from us and we don’t find out until the very end when he tells snow. Putting it at the end just makes it feel like the author just tacked it on so that he would have some reason to stay with snow, because as much as he was invested in her well-being this whole time he literally didn’t do anything and she would have zero connection with him. Also I find it incredibly hard to believe he and the queen would fuck. She clearly thought he was pathetic, and he kinda is so there’s no way he’d make a move on her either. It’s just weird and I do not like it. (5) The magic system is dumb. It’s just simple poemy spells which is like fine, but there’s this suspiciously convenient rule that a spell can just disregard any part of the poem it doesn’t want. So when the queen traps mirror guy in the mirror she demands in her spell that he can’t lie to her, but oops the spell decides that’s inconvenient to the plot so we’re not going to do that. Like it would be so easy to just keep the regular spells, omit the dumb rule, and have the queen just use her magic to trap him and assume in her self-importance that he would never lie to her. That would reveal a weakness that she thinks she’s so intimidating and this dude is such a dumbass that the thought of him lying to her wouldn’t even cross her mind, and when she does find out he’s lying it’d be more of an emotional thing instead of just ‘wtf my magic failed’.

I’d maybe like it if I was still like 12 but... 4/10

[skeletorific]

Every single Undertale ask you haven't answered yet. Heck even the ones you have.

I’m putting a hecking read more line because that’s a lot of shit

1. Who’s your favourite character from UT? Excluding the skeleton bros its Undyne. I love her I love her I love her she reminds me or Erza from Fairy Tail and did I mention I love her?

2. Who’s your least favourite character from UT? Honestly? Alphys. Its not that I think she’s poorly written (she’s very fleshed out) but I don’t really like characters that I have to feel sorry for. Pity’s not really an emotion I like. Plus she never really apologized to me or Mettaton. She only seemed to be concerned with how she felt. Which I think its important for people with anxiety and guilt to learn how to forgive themselves, but it would have been nice to hear her say sorry.:

4. What’s your favourite quote? Anything out of Flowey’s mouth

5. What’s your favourite soundtrack? Spear of Justice. So pumped up

10. Your first letter to Mettaton was:Leg so hot. Hot hot leg. Leg so hot you fry an egg

11. Your reaction when you saw Omega Flowey for the first time: CONFUSED AND HORRIFIED SCREAMING

12. Your headcanon about Frisk’s gender: Female, but I really don’t give a shit. Mae or gender neutral Frisk is cool too.

13. Which UT character reminds you of yourself? Sans, minus the badass stuff, but with the laziness, fashion sensibilities, and shitty sense of humor

14. Which UT character reminds you of your best friend? My best friend….honestly some bizarre fusion of the River Person and Asriel

15. Would you smooch a ghost? If the right one came along

16. Which UT character would be your best friend? Why? Like I said, Sans and I have a lot in common. I think I’d have an odd friendship with Mettaton if the right circumstances came along. And of course Papyrus.

18. Did you do sth in game you regret? I KILLED UNDYNE

20. Your favourite land in UT and why: (Snowdin, Waterfall or Hotland) Waterfall. The atmosphere and the music were stunning, and I loved the color scheme

21. Your favourite place in UT and why: (Undyne’s house for example) The Judgement Hall. Gorgeous colors, beautiful atmosphere, and I am a sucker for pillars and stained glass.

22. Your headcanon about River person’s gender:…..honestly, not a clue. I’m going genderless.

23. Your headcanon about one of the UT characters:……too many to count. But Undyne is afraid of thunderstorms and copes by going out to fight them.

24. Butterscouch or cinnamon pie? B-scotch, my dude

25. Your opinion/headcanon about six human souls: Not all of them are kids. And they are all salty lil fucks.

26. With who would you go on a date? The dates with Sans were always pretty chill. 

28. Do you wanna have a bad time?….I mean not really

31. Would you want to fall into underground? I think only if I knew I could help them get out. While still being, you know, alive.

32. Describe or draw your undersona: I don’t really have one? When I think about self-insert stuff I tend to just view myself as a human who ended up friends with them on the surface. 

33. One reason why you love UT: Story, characters, writing, unique take on old mechanics

34. One reasom why you hate UT: For a game that’s meant to be replayed a lot the puzzles are repetitive as shit. The steam vent puzzles in Hotland can go fuck themselves. I’m with Papyrus its a shitty place.

36. Your favourite amalgamate: Lemon Bread. I love them for no reason.

37. Your headcanon about Gaster: who do you think Gaster is to Sans and Papyrus? (Father, brother, uncle etc) I’m that basic bitch who lives for Dadster

38. Your opinion about bad puns: This game actually completely changed me. I was a well-known Pun Hater. Now I’m a piece of shit who lives for the groans that follow a particularly bad one 

39. Do you draw fanarts from UT? If yes, then what do you like the most to draw? Can’t draw for shit

40. Which of human souls fits you the most? Patience. I kind of let stuff roll of my shoulders, and prefer to wait for the right moment. I’m also lazy as fuck

41. What would be the first thing you would to show to Sans, Papyrus or the rest of characters in human world? Why? Roombas. Just want to see Undyne and Papyrus gush about it and watch it for hours, Alphys try and reprogram it, Toriel use it to clean the house, Mettaton feeling oddly jealous of the attention its getting, and Sans laying his socks on top of it.

42. Which song reminds you of UT or one of the UT characters? Why? I’ve posted about this before but “Salvonic” reminds me of Frisk after a Genocide run and “Just Gold” by Mandopony makes me think of Chara and Flowey

43. Your opinion on underloid: Haven’t listened to much, but I’m down. I like vocaloid.

44. Do you forgive Asgore for what he’s done? Yeah, I love my Goat Dad, even if he makes poor decisions.

45. Did you pay for Tem’s college? Once, because I’m a filthy cheater and wanted Tem armor.

46. Have you seen any youtube letsplay of UT? Jacksepticeye’s play-throughs are what got me into the game in the first place. I also watched dan and Phil’s.

47. Do you listen to any fanmade songs? If so, then which are your favourite? Yeah dude. I really love the “stronger than You” parodies, and fishy love is my jam.

48. What are your favourite theories? Chara is the narrator

49. Who is your favourite enemy? (Not including boss monsters) Doggo. His yapping face fills me with glee

50. Do you have any headcanons about Chara’s past? (Why they hate humanity, why did they fell to the underground etc) I had a lengthy as fuck backstory written up at one point, but I think they had a neglectful as fuck dad. Not abusive, but he just left them alone and only paid attention when they did something wrong or “earned” his attention. Nobody in their lives did anything, leaving Chara to believe that you can’t trust other people to help you out or care about you. They ended up in the Underground by accident. They were walking late  night, fed up with everything, frustrated, crying and ended up tripping into the hold. What sucked was that they weren’t sure their dad would even notice.

51. Who is your favourite dog? Greater Dog. That little bark noise made the world right for a brief and shining moment

52. What was your reaction to true lab? Fuck this shit I’m out….

53. Your fabourite voice acting: tehrogue does good stuff. And FUCK supershadicx250 and crashboombanger’s Fell Sans’ voice FUCK ME UP RN

54. At the end of pacifist run did you stay with your friends or did you come back to your family? Did anybody actually go back to Frisk’s family? Other than for intellectual curiosity?

55. Who is older - Sans or Papyrus? For some reason regardless of universe I always see Papyrus as the older one.59. Your favourite puzzle: That one with Mettaton in the Dungeon

60. Which battle was the hardest for you? FUCKING WOSHUA I HATE THAT BATTLE I DON’T KNOW WHAT IT IS BUT I CAN’T FIGHT WOSHUA

61. Did you still hate Flowey after you discovered his true indentity? I never hated Flowey.

62. The saddest moment: The God of Hyperdeath begging me to stop trying to abandon him

63. Which ending is your favourite? True Pacifist, obvs.

65. Any post pacifist run headcanons? I love PTA!Sans as much as the next girl but PTA!Papyrus is where its at. Also Alphys is introduced to a whole new world of anime because the only anime that ends up Underground is the crap kind that people throw away.

66. Your favourite NPC: I’m guessing you mean side character? Gerson. Love me some cantankerous old people

67. Humans or monsters? I REFUSE THIS CHOICE

68. The funniest situation: Temmie Village released horrified and manic giggles out of me, but also the date with Papyrus.

69. Skeletonfucker, robotfucker, goatfucker or kinkshaming? *looks at Red*………..kinkshaming (JK total skelefucker)

70. When playing for the first time how many candies did you take? All of them. Fuck da police.

71. Did you kill or spare Flowey at the end of the game? Spared, but hot damn I wanted to kill him.

72. If you had to be one of the main characters, which would you choose? Undyne. I want that hair and muscle tone74. Which character(s) would you like to cosplay? I’m not much of a cosplayer but I wouldn’t mind doing Chara. I’ve kind of got the hair anyways.