#narrative. It loves you and offers you 'everything you could need'. But ultimately you are powerless if any of that were to change or were

[motoroil-recs]

hello!! would i be able to get a moodboard for a noncanon everymanHybrid character? his name is the caretaker :) warm colors, primaries, and 1960s/1970s vibe! also i can't describe his vibe a lot but he's those posts about being loved by the narrative is not a good thing & he basically keeps dying and being reborn in timeloops =_= i loveee your horror moodboards theyre DELIGHTFUL thank u

Thank you so much! That's so kind of you to say. I truly do not know if I interpreted your request correctly, so I more than encourage you to let me know if you want anything changed or fixed (I really like the imagery you proposed!), but regardless, you may find your moodboard right here!

[sepublic]

Manny Noceda Haunting the Narrative

We all speak of Caleb haunting the narrative, but what of Manny? Perhaps haunting isn’t the exact right word here, for its foreboding connotations; But he’s ultimately an unseen, unheard ghost whose influence can be felt. Whose absence is there, more clearly than others to be honest because we know that Luz had to have a father, it’s not ambiguous for witches like it is for humans.

From the very first scene, we have to wonder where Manny is if he’s not present during Luz’s conference but Camila is; He’s not even present for Luz to be sent off. He’s not mentioned or acknowledged.

But we have the book he gave Luz, the one that Luz is drawn back towards, and it’s what leads her to the Boiling Isles, and motivates her to stay there for her own sake. It’s what motivates Luz to think of herself, when by the second half of the show she begins to refuse that option as inherently selfish.

If Homesick had aired during S1B, we’d have gotten a glimpse of Manny, but specifically, curiously faceless; Until then, Luz sees a parental figure deteriorating from an incurable illness and is obsessed with handling it, offering medical advice to Eda at one point.

And in Yesterday’s Lie, there’s still no Manny or mention of him, but we see glimpses of his body without the face. And then finally, finally we get Reaching Out and realize; He died. There was no divorce, it’s not that Manny is dead to mother and daughter, only literally. He’s still very much alive to them, Luz is worried about paying tribute to him in that episode.

Camila mourns the loss of Manny, someone who was always better at her about being a weirdo, and without him she feels lost, falls back into what society demands of her, and in doing so hurts their daughter. She mourns that she misses him, but Camila can’t depend on Manny to be what Luz needs her to be; She’ll be Manny, for Luz but also herself too. And Luz herself struggles to be the unapologetic Manny as well, and must do it for herself especially.

It’s the way Manny recontextualizes everything about the Nocedas. It’s the way he haunts the narrative himself, because we noticed, we had to, we had to ask where he was. Why is he not there for Luz or Camila, would he support her, is Camila also struggling from his absence? We don’t need his face or voice or an outright flashback to feel and appreciate Manny’s influence (Though I would’ve loved one).

And in a way, it’s like Dana’s own father Thomas Terrace is doing the same; With it being confirmed that Dana’s dad gave her a copy of Pokémon Red before he died, you understand perfectly that Luz is Dana, Manny is her father. Dana still likes Pokémon to this day, she’s done crossover art with Pokémon and her own show.

When it came out, Pokemon was targeted by Evangelicals as evil, it was absurd; And we see the Conformatorium perform similar absurdities in the same first episode where Luz is shown to hold onto her father’s last gift, and her fight with the Conformatorium is her fight with the system that made Luz feel ashamed of Manny’s gift and the profound impact it had on her.

The villain of the show manipulates Luz and makes her think she’s just like him, something Luz acknowledges means being a selfish, destructive force; Unsurprisingly, the villain is a Puritan, the ancestor of evangelicals, who agrees on the similarities but not on these things being evil.

Manny is the invisible ghost unseen, for the same reason as Caleb; And between the two, perhaps Caleb is defined incorrectly when it comes to how he influences things. Because Caleb does not really motivate Belos, Belos always wanted to be a witch hunter before he could claim to be betrayed by Caleb, he did it for himself. He made Grimwalkers but still continues the harm unto and through them that Caleb stood against. Caleb failed to do anything with Belos, tbh, and all that is passed on are empty genes that a racist would obsess over, but never the spirit as Luz did with Manny.

But what about Caleb’s child? Manny is defined as a father to Luz. What about someone Caleb was a father to as well? His unborn child, the ancestor of Eda. Caleb was a wood carver who loved Flapjack, and the Clawthornes had a tradition of carving Palismen. Could it not be implied that Evelyn carried on his unseen and unheard, yet felt love to their child, born after the death? And this love for the isles and magic and Palismen was passed all the way down to Dell, and then Eda.

And it’s Eda who helps Luz, another human, embrace her love for the isles and magic and Palismen. Evelyn’s descendant helps another human. Luz sees Eda in Manny, she’s his successor as someone who’s present for Luz when Camila can’t always be. Eda loves wild magic and her Palisman, gives Owlbert more autonomy than other witches, and helps the Bat Queen arrange Palismen to find new partners. And what goes around comes around when Caleb’s contribution to Palismen, started by Flapjack, helps Flapjack find a new friend and set in motion events that would lead to the Clawthornes’ injustice being rectified.

I’ve seen people argue that Hunter being with Willow makes him a copy of Caleb, but in addition to Hunter’s arc being him not caring what he does or doesn’t resemble… I think maybe the true parallel to Caleb and Evelyn is Manny and Camila; Both came to Gravesfield, the father was a weirdo with an open mind. He died, the mother mourned, but he passed on something to a child, who would eventually pass it on to Luz herself as both stories and families converge.

So Evelyn and Caleb’s child haunts the narrative; They’re Luz in a sense. Manny haunts the narrative too, since the start. He is Caleb, and so he is Eda who carries that spirit. And he is Eda because she carries the spirit for Luz. Manny is Dana Terrace’s own father, who inspired her to keep being a weirdo, which led to this show. So not only is Manny more important to the narrative’s framing and focus as the main character’s father, whose absence motivates both a disconnect between mother and daughter that leads Luz to the isles, but also motivates Luz to stay?

In a way, Manny represents the father of the series, the father of the show that reflects Dana’s own experiences and beliefs. One could say he haunts Dana’s own life, except… Perhaps the word ‘haunt’ is incorrect. Because it has a negative connotation. Perhaps the word is Inspire; Manny may be dead, we may know little of Mr. Terrace or Manny himself. But we can say that Manny lived, because of his impact, his life had meaning and it always will. Something is in motion, so we all know and understand ask what, or who set it that way.

[avelera]

Meta: Balancing the Ledger in Arcane S2

Whatever people might have thought of Vi and Jayce's actions in S1, Arcane Season 2 was definitely listening. The whole point of their arcs in 2.1-2.3 seems specifically aimed at them getting point by point retribution for everything they did wrong, intentionally or unintentionally, sympathetically or unsympathetically, in S1.

Vi:

Is hurt and abandoned by Cait in almost exactly the same manner that she hurt and abandoned Powder in S1. If you thought Vi got off too lightly for her treatment of Powder in S1, she has now experienced the full brunt of what it would be like to be on the other side of that fight.

Is attacked, terrorized, and made to feel helpless by the very undercity people who she led an attack against in S1 in which she overpowered, terrorized, and ultimately led to the death of a child as collateral damage. The escalating cycle of violence that she took part in came back to bite her, hard.

As for Jayce:

He was warned repeatedly that Hextech was dangerous. He is now seeing and experiencing first hand the risks of unchecked magical/technological progress, not only seeing how it damages the world he was trying to save, but personally experiencing the horrifying, reality distorting effects of the wild runes as of 2.3.

He left Viktor in order to pursue the higher calling of politics, ostensibly to support their research too, but it took him from his partner's side. He was also motivated by a woman, Mel, and his care for her in doing so. Regardless of intention, politics and Mel took him from Viktor's side at a critical moment when Viktor's life hung in the balance.

Now, Viktor has left Jayce, pursuing the shadow of a dead woman who inspires him now, pursuing a higher calling of bettering the lives of others in the Undercity, and while he doesn't have the same real world powers manipulating him as Jayce did, there are parallels between the Hexcore and the Council's ability to drag Viktor and Jayce respectively forward into dangerous territory, following the siren song of their ambitions to change the world for the better, away from the partnership that launched their innovations in the first place.

Jayce also took part in the rogue mission against the Undercity factory, and in the process, killed a child thus escalating the cycle of violence between Piltover and Zaun.

If you blamed Jayce for becoming a councilor, getting into a relationship with Mel while Viktor was dying, for abandoning Viktor and the lab for other pursuits, for killing that child in Zaun, or in general for escalating the cycle of violence between Zaun and Piltover, then S2 seems to have set out very deliberately to address each one of these.

Jayce is abandoned by Viktor in a similar way and for similar (if not the same) causes as Viktor now abandoned Jayce. Meanwhile, the mother of the child he specifically killed shows up to take her pound of flesh, escalating cycle of violence that has him and his loved ones caught up in it, having now arrived at his doorstep when once it was far away in Zaun, and Hextech has become everything that Heimerdinger (who he deposed in a coup d'etat in order to override his warnings and his power to stop Jayce) warned that it could be.

I stand in awe of how deliberately set up it all is, and offer this analysis of why the narrative took the time to so specifically address and bring retribution for Vi and Jayce for these specific sins, in an almost exactly eye for an eye manner.

Before Jayce and Vi can continue forward as our protagonists, we needed to wipe the slate clean.

These beats are so specifically addressed at their sins (real, imagined, or overblown) in S1 that it's impossible to say going forward that they haven't suffered the consequences of their actions. They have now both been intimately on the receiving end of the consequences of what they did to others.

Furthermore, in S2 we are seeing that Vi and Jayce were less outliers as far as people making mistakes but rather were simply ahead of the curve. Now they have seen both sides of the cycle of violence and deeply suffered the consequences of their actions, many of which were impulsive. Going forward, I think it's safe to say we're going to see Jayce and Vi become voices of reason as they continue to learn, grow and experience the consequences of the events that their S1 actions had a big hand in causing in the first place.

I think this is also why Jayce, humbled and wiser, is becoming a much more popular character in S2 while Vi is becoming a much more universally sympathetic one, though I loved them both in the first season as did many other people. But their actions were controversial in some cases and it's been fascinating to see how systematically S2 has addressed each one of their controversial actions from S1 before moving them forward as heroes and protagonists.

[cringefailvox]

i hope that valentino doesn't die in s2, and not just because i like him and want to see more of him.

i actually think val is a really good opportunity for hazbin to dig into how it defines redemption. every character in the show has a different ethical outlook on hell and the idea of redemption, but the two main ones seem to be charlie (everyone is capable of changing for the better when offered support and safety, and everyone should be provided those things regardless of what they've done) and alastor/lucifer/adam (people are naturally inclined towards wrongdoing, there are no second chances, and hell is both a punishment and cosmic justice). val is the perfect character to exemplify the struggle between these two different outlooks. CAN someone as awful and abusive as val be redeemed? and if so, what would that look like? how would we ensure his victims are safe from him while also giving him space to grow and change? if he can't be redeemed, what's the threshold for irredeemability? can we agree on what makes someone so bad there's no hope? can we quantify which sins are worse than others, and how?

(and by the way, what even gets someone into heaven, and who decides? hazbin seems like this is the main question it's beginning to focus on, so i have a lot of hope for how this one will get resolved. because at the moment, it seems like self-sacrifice is what gets you there, and that is deeply unsatisfying to me—you shouldn't have to give up everything, up to and including your life, to be considered "good enough". it's a vehemently christian idea that martyrdom is righteous and i fucking hate it.)

and if charlie's ethics are universal, she'll have to commit to redeeming people like val, otherwise she undermines her entire mission by picking and choosing who gets to have support and who doesn't. if charlie's ethics aren't universal, we could start really digging more into how her personal attachments to angel dust could present a conflict of interest in her values, like we did with vaggie; are people only worthy of her unconditional encouragement if she loves them? what are the implications of THAT?

my personal value system believes that there's no such thing as someone being irredeemable. there's only people who actively choose not to try, even after they've been provided love, support and well-intended challenges from people who want to see them grow. there needs to be space for people to be safe from their abusers and space for abusers to reform themselves and participate in society, otherwise our options become banishment or execution and i doubt that's the ethical message hazbin wants us to walk away with. val's positioning in the narrative and his close connection to angel makes him the perfect candidate to really challenge charlie's commitment to her ideals, since she doesn't already love him (like vaggie) and he isn't actively trying to be better (like angel or pentious). killing him would be unsatisfying, as well as letting everybody off the hook too easy. i want these bitches neck-deep in painful ethical dilemmas.

ultimately, i hope that hazbin goes the teshuvah route regarding sin. in judaism, teshuvah is the process of repentance for sin, but it also means "return" because the hebrew word for sin, chet, means missing the mark. sin is when we don't quite hit the target how we should have. it's not something you're born with, it's something you do, and it's something you can choose not to do. teshuvah is slow and difficult and a lifelong process, not a one-time golden ticket to heaven. i hope hazbin ends up in the same vein as this, where reforming sinners becomes more about repairing broken relationships, crafting a better society, and harm reduction instead of the ultimate goal being entry to heaven. i think that would be far more interesting and cathartic to me than anything else

[bird-inacage]

The Heart Killers: Predictions (Kant as Bison's Keys to Freedom)

Welcome to the first of my speculative brain dumps on this couple. The updated trailer has had my brain theorising like crazy.

Khao has mentioned a few times now that Bison was adopted into his family, and killing essentially became his way of life. Kant then comes along and becomes Bison's escape - a welcome distraction from the violent life he leads.

Whether Kant's undercover objective it to scope for dirt or to take the brothers down, it's through this mission that Kant begins to sympathise with Bison and the circumstances that led him to become a hitman. His feelings will ultimately compromise or derail his original objective. Once everything is out in the open, this doesn't seem to deter Kant. If anything, it only doubles down his resolve to protect Bison from harm. "I just need to know I'll always be with you." "You think I'd go on living if you died?"

We've been told that Kant goes goo-goo eyed for Bison pretty early on. My hunch is that once he finds out the type of life Bison is swept up in and just how dangerous it is, his personal mission will be to try and free him: "I'll help you start over". And if he can't free him in the immediate effect, he'll join him in order to watch his back. "We'll take care of each other. This isn't just an empty promise." Based on the fact he was asked to help with detective work in the first place, Kant must have some pretty handy skills in his arsenal, and likely knows a thing or two about survival.

On that basis, perhaps the real conflict for these two won't be the getting things out into the open, but what Bison chooses to do for his freedom. We don't yet know whether he’s on good terms with his adoptive family. It could very well be that he simply doesn't want to kill, but has too much gratitude towards them for taking him in, that he could never disobey or defy them.

So when Kant tries to find him an out or whisk him away - Bison will then have a choice to make. To leave with Kant, or side with his family. Staying would also mean exposing Kant (who seems eager to protect him) to the same violence he's desperate to leave behind, which may further complicate things. "With the way I live, I can't promise you anything." (I could die tomorrow).

The other thing I would be wary of is in order to 'free' Bison in some way, shape or form (from his supposed crimes and lifestyle), Kant may have to sacrifice or offer something in exchange. Considering he's the one tasked to investigate the two brothers (in order to put them behind bars, I would assume), there's a poetic irony if he turns out to be the key to Bison's freedom. Hearing how Khao loves Kant as a character also speaks volumes to me about his role in the story and what he means to Bison. But I may just be letting my mind run riot.

(Note: very interesting shot in the trailer below. To me, it almost looks like they're doing a 'training' exercise for something. Bison with his gun on Kant whilst he jumps into the sea tied up).

Narratively speaking, I’m not sure how this all of fits into a romcom of all things but I have a feeling Jojo is going to surprise us with his hijinks. Let’s wait and see!

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

Hey, i follow your blog for several weeks now and think you make some fresh of breth air.

What is your opinion on aang and his arc in general ? Are you critical of the lion turtle at the end and think it was a selfish moment when he did not redirect lightning back at ozai?

Despite of all the shipping wars :)

Let's make a distinction clear here: the lionturtle was poorly set up, that is a totally valid complaint. Claiming that a traumatized 12-year-old, who as a bonus was raised to be a pacifist, is being selfish for not wanting to be people's assassin for hire is complete lunacy. He's a child, a person. He's not your super weapon/soldier, and his responsibilities as the Avatar don't change the fact that what people are expecting of him is unfair and deeply traumatizing.

And actually, Aang's role as the Avatar and the way people misunderstand it ties into why I think his arc was great: he has a duty to the world. The WHOLE world. Fire Nation very much included.

He isn't there to wipe them off the face of the Earth in retaliation for what they did to his people. He isn't there to have them be ruled with an iron fist for the crime of being born in the wrong place/culture, regardless of how complicent every individual was, or wasn't, in the war. He isn't there to disregard anyone's humanity and inherent right to life and dignity, not even Ozai's, for "the greater good."

He is there to bring back harmony. To help put the Fire Nation back on the right path. To make them stop being a threat, yes, but through REDEMPTION, not violence.

That's why he learns that the kids were taught lies basically from birth, and that any form of self-expression, and even old Fire Nation traditions, are being suppressed. Why he turns to Iroh for advice in Ba Sing Se even though the old man was constantly helping Zuko. Why he could see the lonely, angry, sad child hiding behind Zuko's hostile behavior. Why he too needed to see that fire could be both life and death, and thus should not be hated but also not used caressly, because even though he is an air-nomad before anything, that is still his element too.

The Fire Nation's original culture might not be his primary identity, but it is part of him, and he's one of the few people alive that were there to witness it in it's true glory - and the only one who hasn't had time to get used the idea of them being nothing but a threat now. That's why Aang is the perfect guy to save the day. He won't let them do evil, but he won't let their potential for good be ignored.

And it's sooooooooooooooooo satisfying to see the Fire Nation needing to rely on Aang's air-nomad culture to help. To see him prove Ozai was wrong to think they were just dead-weight in the world, that they had nothing of value to offer (and grabbing the fucker by his stupid beard).

To see Aang, who lost his people, saw sacred temples and relics destroyed, and that even had to hide his arrow, screaming to the whole world that the wisdom of the airbenders was the one hope for a brighter future and being validated by the narrative for it was fucking beautiful.

Aang was a child that was constantly told he had to sacrifice everything, his beliefs, his peace of mind, his culture, his attachment to the people he loved, what was left of his childhood and potentially even his own life for everyone else's sake, and that he was selfish if didn't like that shitty deal the universe offered him. And in the finale he said "FUCK THAT NOISE!" and that was thing that ultimately saved everyone, not just himself.

He is the poster boy for "Fuck you! It's real easy to talk about sacrifices for the greater good when you're not the one who'll have to sacrifice anything!" and I love him for that.

Seriously, it's crazy how fans that go "Urgh, just betray your beliefs and traumatize yourself for everyone else's sake already, you selfish asshole" don't realize they're unironically talking like an actual cartoon villain that is know for being cowardly and cruel.

[skadiis]

Well, I've had a little bit of time to think on the Shadow of the Erdtree DLC ending...

I've seen a lot of people arguing about how they hate the ending, and a brave few stating that they like the ending.

I think the reason the SoTE ending doesn't work for me personally is that the Miquella ending reads as a main story ending storyline and not a self contained DLC storyline. Other FromSoft DLC tend to offer short stories with a set ending (Painted World, Old Hunters, Artorias of the Abyss), those stories were self contained enough that they didn't feel like they overlapped with the main story, only enhanced it. SoTE feels like it competes with the main story however, because it's suggesting another ending, however it's an ending that is withheld from you. It's unsatisfying at its core.

The DS3 Painted World DLC enhances the main story, but does not change the main story. It deals with a separate painted world that is connected, but cannot affect the main world, only offer a suggested future after the main storyline. Same with the Bloodborne Old Hunters DLC--the storyline takes place in a dream that gives much more information about the main world, but does not change the core story. SoTE takes place in a separate world that is intimately tied to the Land Between, with a story that does impact the Lands Between. With the Painted World and Old Hunters DLC the player cannot get too bothered about the endings of the DLC, because they don't have actionable implications about their core game experience. The SoTE ending would impact the core game experience of the Lands Between if Miquella succeeded though.

So now we have a problem. Such an impactful ending needs the player to have personal choice about that ending. There are a ton of shit endings to Elden Ring, but we get to chose whether or not we want to take them. You have to work towards an ending, and even with the Frenzied Flame ending you can walk back your decision (very carefully) and chose something else. This DLC has no choice at the end though. There's no option to decide for yourself whether you want to participate in the Age of Compassion, it's just a hard no. You cannot complete the DLC without nullifying the Age of Compassion. Your decision is made for you. You are fated to be unsatisfied with your powerlessness in a game full of options.

Love it or hate it, I really think Miquella's storyline could have worked with a little finagling, but I don't think it works as DLC. I see a lot of people compare him and Ranni, and compare their planned Ages, but the nature of the DLC means this isn't a fair comparison. The story has already told you Miquella is 'bad' narratively, whether you agree with that or not. Had Miquella's storyline been a proper main story ending I think there would be a lot less upset over it.

What do y'all think--am I way off base? Obviously I'm not addressing everything in this little blurb, but this isn't something I personally have seen a ton of people talk about. I also could also say a little about hope as a theme present in other FromSoft DLC but absent here, but ultimately I think that speaks back to my point about personal choice.

[fangirleaconmigo]

I just finished Time of Contempt for the third time and I am deep deep deep in my Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon feelings again. Now that know what’s coming and I understand her arc, I’m catching a lot more.

TW: mentions of sexual assault

Ciri’s descent, which we see a hint of at the end this book, her “corruption arc” is the story of what war, and what the associated abandonment and abuse of children, does to a society. It is a visceral story about how (as the saying goes) A child who is not embraced by the village, will burn it down to feel its warmth.

Probably the worst interview of Sapko that my eyes have had the displeasure to read was a guy who asked him basically (paraphrased) how could Ciri’s mind be so “weak” that she falls into murder and crime after everything she learned from Geralt.

And like BUDDY DID YOU NOT READ THE STORY? Wow ok.

Sapko is like…because that is real, look around you.

“Well, I suppose here my fantasy becomes very real and lifelike. What happened to Ciri happened to hundreds of teenagers, in that number some I knew.”

There is a narrative.

And when kids are all by themselves and repeatedly traumatized and threatened, they will turn where they need to for safety. Their minds and the way they process empathy and emotions will change as a result of related abuse.

And to me, that arc is very believable. And it is part of her rite of passage of ultimately choosing good and coming fully into her power, choosing the love and example of her found family (primarily Geralt and Yen but also Kaer Morhen and Dandelion). In this terrible interview (seriously someone let me interview the man I could do better) he says:

And – last not least – that’s me, the author, who has invented Ciri and her fate, who has invented the whole storyline, and the storyline required of Ciri to become a teenage killer. It was a stage in her rite de passage, the rite of passage.

It is an arc. And for me a very believable (if extremely painful one) First there is the “before”.

The story is very clear who Ciri is before she is alone without the protection of Yen and Geralt.

Her character is already established by Time of Contempt but the narrative still goes through the trouble of showing her deny the offer of destructive power.

As a little girl, (in Blood of Elves) Ciri risks herself to save Triss’s life when she and Geralt’s caravan is attacked. She doesn’t wait for someone else to help, she shields Triss with her body. (That made me feel some kinda way in retrospect let me tell ya)

In the same scene we see how tender hearted she is towards the elves plight and how she resolves not to be neutral.

Blood of Elves and Time of Contempt both show how she is just a little kid who wants parents (running away to see Geralt, writing him letters from Meliteles temple begging him to come see her, identifying fiercely as a witcher girl of Kaer Morhen, idolizing Yen)

But at the end of Time of Contempt, Ciri still makes two dramatic, narrative establishing decisions, that show what kind of person she is.

First is the refusal of power. The refusal of revenge.

In the desert, she taps into prohibited power (fire power) to save Little Horse. It begins to consume her, offering her dominion over the world. It is personified by Falka and it shows Ciri vengeance. It shows her her enemies. It shows her the people who killed her grandma and sacked Cintra. It shows her the black knight.

Ciri and vengeance is already a theme. We know she feels urges towards vengeance for the people who slaughtered her family. The only bad fight she’s had with Geralt was about that. (She says she wanted vengeance and he overreacts and has to follow her and comfort her and apologize. The narrative doesn’t let us hear what he says, it’s through Triss’s eyes, but it is heart wrenching)

And now she is being offered vengeance by showing her what it really looks like. People suffering and dying. And it’s asking hey little girl you want this? Because I can give it to you.

This power also shows her her loved ones.

At this point in the story, Ciri is alone, lost in a desert, and feels abandoned. And any kid that feels abandoned blames her parents. It makes her a very believable kid character. Im alone? Where are my parents?? They’ve abandoned me?? At least that’s what she says.

But when the power offers her the opportunity to take the hurt she is feeling and hurt them back she is horrified.

She shouts out loud that she relinquishes it. She relinquishes all the power and collapses.

She makes an incredibly important decision to refuse destructive vengeful power.

The second thing that happens to establish her character at this point in the saga is she is being pursued by people who want to kill her and/or turn her into Nilfgaard. She is running and trying to escape. She is armed and gets a clear shot at a pursuer but again, sees a human face, and can’t do it. She shows mercy because her empathy will not allow her to see a persons face and kill them.

She is very lucky to survive that encounter.

She is a good, decent, human being.

But the story doesn’t leave us there. It gives us an ominous hint of the oncoming storm.

To get out of a life threatening situation, she joins a gang called The Rats. The Rats are a group of heavily traumatized war orphans who have been abandoned, raped, and abused and have banded together to not be alone. They’ve become murderers and no longer feel empathy for those they harm, but rather they take pleasure at killing others. She sees the look in their faces and identifies it as evil.

They adopt her. They protect her. Suddenly she is ‘safe’. Suddenly she is with others like her (war orphans with heavy trauma). Suddenly she is no longer alone. She is being offered a new identity (her old identity will get her killed at this point) She is them.

They also sexually assault her. (Cycle of abuse. I had to fast forward those parts. I’m listening to the audio and I can’t do that again)

But by the end Ciri has a new family. It’s the only option to her for survival. She finally manages to kill someone and takes the name Falka.

And as the return reader, you already know just how horrific it’s gonna get before it gets better. The feelings of doom. Ooof.

There is so much coming and if you’ve already read it, the dread is real.

It takes worse torture and assault than you can possibly imagine for Ciri to become the “teenaged killer” the narrative demands.

Because above all Ciri is like Yen. She is a survivor. She is angry. She has impulses for vengeance when she is harmed. All of these things are normal and human and can be given healthy outlets in normal situations. But this is not a normal situation.

So yeah I love her so much and the feelings of doom I have going into the next book are hanging over me. Of course it makes the bloody vengeance at the end that much more satisfying. But yeah.

And just to be clear I don’t judge her at all for anything she does during this “corruption” arc. I just don’t. She is surviving and no one can make me hate her ever. I’m an irrational person when it comes to her. And the her growth, her arc is one of the most satisfying I’ve ever read.

Most of us may not be war orphans being pursued by half the world. But the parallels to being an unprotected teenaged girl in a world that wants to exploit you, chew you up, and spit you out, is something those of us who came from abusive homes can understand. It is ultimately very validating and inspiring.

So I’ll be skipping the worst parts on audio. Some of them I just can’t do again. But I’m still obsessed with this story and I love my girl.

Ok thanks for reading my Ciri feels.

[metacrisisdoctor]

there is so much misunderstanding about ten's "does it need saying?" that it makes me wanna rip my hair out. he isn't "too much of a coward to say it", he doesn't want to say it any less than tentoo does. the entire point of that moment is that rose knows the doctor loves her, she knows what the end of that sentence was. he doesn't say it because he is not human and he can never give rose the life and love she deserves - he cannot give her what he wants to give her and what his other self can. and in that moment we see her finally realizing that.

he can never devote his life to her the way she can hers, so even if tentoo never had existed and if she had come back to the tardis with him, their relationship would not be the same because they've said the quiet thing out loud and rose is older, more mature and more independent. she wants things she could have pushed away at age 20, but now she wants the words said out loud, she wants to be with him forever but she is also realizing that he will never let her all the way in because their forevers do not align and losing her would kill him.

you have to understand that at the core of ten's character is a love for rose. that is what he is made of- literally. he was born from love for her and love for the human race and this is his downfall ultimately. ten doesn't keep rose at a distance because he doesn't love her, it's because he loves her SO MUCH that he feels as if he has found what he has searched for and his journey is essentially finished with her. ten doesn't want to regenerate because his story wants to end with hers because he wants to grow old, to be with his new family and then just die. that's the plain truth of it. but he cannot do that. he knows he can't so he holds her at a distance because if he lets her in he would've done that anyway, and then he wouldn't have been the doctor anymore because his life has become about her instead of keeping his promise of helping to the best of his ability.

ten holds rose afar because if he hadn't there would be no doctors after him, because she had the power to unravel him entirely- and because of how badly he wants that. this is what's crushing about timelord ten: he would've gone mad if he had let her in and lost her, and he goes mad when he doesn't and loses her.

but when you keep this all in mind and remember tentoo is also ten, as in, the last thing he remembers is running to her on that deserted street- his quick acceptance of being "banished" and offer to grow old with her makes complete sense. he's the same man who has felt all of these things in the past three seasons, but he can now TAKE them because everything that stopped him before doesn't exist anymore.

it's really just the same man with two timelines, a kind one and a cruel one. but they're both real and true!

and so ten doesn't say it because he knows that tentoo is the best option for her and her happiness but ALSO because they were never going to be happy and together for the rest of her life anyway because if they were it would've meant distraction- think of how twelve becomes for clara but worse! and even clara who DOES become immortal can't stay with him forever because the narrrative needs for the doctor to be in pain in order to keep being fulfilling his duty to the universe.

the doctor is simply not allowed to be happy because then the story ends, (journey's end in lovers meeting) but this story doesn't end. he is doomed by the narrative and he knows it, which people can't grasp.

but what tentoo serves is to show us that ten was so tied to rose and to humanity that in one timeline, one life, his story ends with her like he wanted it to. and this is why ten feels like regeneration is dying. and it's why he doesn't want to go and why he has to. it's why eleven is so alien and so different and why he's so shocked he survived regeneration. because ten had to "die" in order for the doctor to keep going.

of course every doctor after ten is still the doctor, but the tenth doctor died in a way in a way other doctors did not. because he belongs in pete's world with rose and that's his real ending. there cannot be two versions of ten, but one had to be human in the end and he is.

that's why he can't say it!!!!

because he knows he will regenerate and tentoorose is not only the best thing for rose, but a literal gift to himself as well.

and i'm him. and i'm him.

[wordsandrobots]

Right. Again, not intending this blog to offer advice on the regular but I think a bit of basic analysis guidance is on theme. So:

If a text does not target its criticisms towards the profit motive and private ownership of the means of production, it is not meaningfully critiquing capitalism.

Capitalism is not 'there are rich and poor' or 'greed is bad', or even 'money motivates people to act'. These existed prior to the capitalistic revolution and could very well endure under any successor systems. A text that deals with them alone -- without targeting the way the pursuit of profit *specifically* leads to distorted social priorities (like running healthcare as if it should generate more money than is put in) and how this manifests when things everyone on the planet needs are controlled by individuals -- is not making an effective argument against the economic arrangement currently buggering us all six ways to Sunday.

This is especially important to bear in mind if dire consequences are presented as a result of 'human greed', because doing so abstracts the problem away from its technical causes, which is one of the key ways capitalism diverts attention from its flaws. If the issue is merely people being 'greedy', then we just need to operate with more checks and balances. No need to tackle the core concept of a system geared to maximise profit over everything else . In fact, maybe capitalism is simply an extension of human nature and therefore *can't* be changed. Isn't it comforting, to know this is just what we're like?

(Urgh, what's the keyboard equivalent of washing your mouth out?)

A story isn't doing anything wrong if it does not concern itself with capitalism as a system. Heck, there's not anything wrong with grappling with the question of greed in general, because that is indeed something we need to grapple with: what does it mean, how does it work, how can we best mitigate it and the other worst aspects of ourselves? Many stories do exactly this while clothed in the aesthetics of capitalism and its many, many horrible outcomes.

But aesthetics are not an argument. And getting mad about social inequality and wars ignited by the whims of the rich is not the same as zeroing in on capitalism as the major cause or catalyst. It is in fact quite common to hate all the consequences of private ownership and the profit motive while still believing those things in and of themselves are neutral, normal ways of organising the world. This filters into fiction, producing ultimately toothless attacks on 'big business' or 'corporate greed' or even just the insidious idea that if we put the right people in charge of the system, everything will be OK.

(I cannot think of a better example than the first Iron Man movie, an almost pathologically deflective piece of cinema.)

Take the time to consciously read fiction through a capitalistic lens! Pick apart how it reflects the world at the point the story was written! Ask how the author approaches the issues they raise!

At the same time, avoid crediting them with an argument they aren't making. Identify what they actually say above all else and check it against the definition of the things they evoke. Only then will you be on solid ground to state whether or not they are attacking capitalism.

To beat a favourite drum, words have meaning. That matters quite a lot when talking about the meaning of a story.

This has been me vague-posting at the entire Gundam fandom. You're generally lovely but I do occasionally feel the strong urge to start pelting you with dictionaries, and burying this point in an essay about McGillis Fareed was apparently not enough to sate my need to grumble about it (c.f. section A digression into narratives about capitalism).

Thank you for your time. I shall be standing by the position that Iron-Blooded Orphans is the only solid critique of capitalism the franchise has produced (as a subset of exploring exploitation in general) until further notice.

[wutheringskies]

Oooh your latest wei wuxian and boundaries meta is so delicious, like wwx loves his loved ones/people he cares about fully, and jiang cheng was once someone who wwx cared about, and yet jc hurt him so badly, killed the people he was protecting, killed him, and even then wwx only sets his boundary of not wanting to talk/interact with jc, (like when ppl talked of siege that jc lead wwx 'felt poison needle pricking him' which of course 'gets replaced by sweetness' when lwj comes to him, paraphrasing what i remember)

Like if wwx cares about someone its going to take hella lot for him to distance himself, and jc crossed all of it and wwx was definitely hurt by it, so glad he could move on to find happiness in his new home with lwj and the rest.

Yes! One thing about Wei Wuxian is that he thinks? in multiple layers. Since the novel isn't from his POV, we often get "incomplete" thoughts or only substance level thoughts. For example, we get the narrative saying that Mianmian had a pretty figure and that Wei Wuxian was looking at her, but he only goes over when she mentions medicine, but we don't get that "thought." Thus, one needs to dissect his motivations behind his actions with much detail and objectivity. Yet one thing that is common is that in his first life there's no ultimate "thought" about Jiang Cheng other than Wei Wuxian mentally stating he knew they were going to have a fight over their ideological differences and in his second life, he has plenty of thoughts that show his expectations, disappointment, hurt and distance from Jiang Cheng.

For a character like Wei Wuxian, it's very hard for him to set himself apart, or distance himself. He is very much a sociable person who likes to cheer people up, make everyone happy. Yet, even Jiang Cheng's tears don't move him to appease Jiang Cheng of his guilt. Instead he only says sorry for breaking the promise of "always being his subordinate."

And I think it's hard to understand how one feels about the other; like Wei Wuxian had immense love for Lan wangji even in his first life yet it was buried under layers and layers of debts and responsibilities and angst and comphet. Similarly, relationships become so complex, it's hard to know if you care about someone or are just reminiscing who they once were, or what they stood for, or who they were the children of. It's just complicated for Wei Wuxian because he forgets people he loathes. If they do unforgivable shit to him, he kills them.

But Jiang Cheng is different. He can't kill him, and he isn't someone who holds grudges so he can only distance himself and I think for his character that's like so OOC (like not in the way it's actually OOC but it's something so new ? to him; like JC literally burnt wifi out. it's like Wei wuxian is a christmas store of second chances and Jiang Cheng still bought everything he had to offer and demanded more)

[anneapocalypse]

They’re all pretty related, so in case you want to merge or skip some: I’m curious about 9, 20, 21, and 22 for 🔥 choose violence 🔥

For the 🔥choose violence 🔥 ask game!

Disclaimer: provocative name aside, I am not actually trying to be mean here, these are just my opinions offered for Entertainment Purposes™️, and I’m not mad at anyone who has a different opinion.

9. worst part of canon

The lack of forethought about representation when the series began. The first game was like, "Seven skin tints! The dark ones looks Bad in our engine! Your family is white no matter what! Brown people are from Over There somewhere! Asians????" Since then, I think the games have each improved on that situation, with increasingly better character creators, more diverse companions, and a more diverse world generally. But I think that there's still a lot lacking, and part of that is because the first installment laid a pretty weak foundation, so all subsequent canon is having to correct for better representation rather than building on a strong start. A few big things I would love to see in DA:D are a better variety of hair textures and styles, a better variety of Asian features in the CC, and more Asian (coded) characters in the world generally since that's an area where it's really been lacking. (Lighting that doesn't wash out medium skin tones to ghosts wouldn't hurt either 😉 but when it comes to video game lighting I assume that we'll just be trading one problem for another. I look forward to experiencing a New Problem.)

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

Inquisition's Too Many Collectibles. I don't mind collectibles, especially when there's an actual reward for collecting them, but Inquisition just has too many. Was it really necessary for us to discover landmarks and regions? Like, could those not have been the same thing? It's fun to treasure hunt and everything but did we need to hunt for astrariums and shards and mosaic tiles and bottles? None of those things are bad on their own, but there's such a thing as Too Much, and I think Inquisition crosses that line somewhere.

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

Marrying Alistair to become Queen! Like, that's fine if that's the ending you want. Me, I've romanced Alistair multiple times and I've never felt like becoming Queen Cousland was like, the Ultimate Ending to that story. My first ever Warden, Jolene, was a Cousland who romanced Alistair, and while I'd watched Mr. Apocalypse play parts of the game, I was unspoiled for the romance, so I wasn't gunning for any particular ending, and because Alistair clearly didn't want to be king and because he seemed so uncertain of what would happen to their relationship (despite her being a perfectly valid candidate for queen), Jo ended up deciding to let Anora keep the throne and ride off into the sunset with Alistair. I wanted a happy ending for that first run and to me, that seemed the happiest for both of them.

Since then I've also done a tragic Alistair romance with an Aeducan, who starts out a real asshole and has kind of a redemption arc as a Warden, culminating in her giving Alistair the throne because she believes it's his destiny, and sacrificing herself to kill the archdemon because she knows she can never be his queen. I loved that one too! It was so juicy.

I'm not opposed to Queen Cousland or anything, I just remember a time when it was so venerated as the ending for Origins. Really, I just don't think of any outcome in an RPG that way. What I enjoy is exploring all the possibilities.

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

Once again, consider "everyone" to be a bit hyperbolic, but I am really, really interested in the politics of the setting, something I think maybe a lot of fans consider to be boring or "not that deep." 😂 Dragon Age does not always handle its power and oppression narratives perfectly, for sure, but I also think a lot of the worldbuilding shows a level of understanding of structural power that it maybe doesn't always get credit for. When a group is marginalized in this setting we can identify actual systemic barriers to social advancement for that group, not just "people being mean" on an individual level like you sometimes see in lazier narratives. Orlais isn't just fancier and snootier than Ferelden; it actually has more barriers to upward mobility in place! Society is more stratified, and power is more concentrated, even though both nations are monarchies.

I love the fantasy politics--of people in day to day life, of factions, of nations, of religion. I love it because, at its best, Dragon Age does have some interesting things to say about the nature of power. It's easy to say "Chantry bad" or "nobility bad," but to me it's much more interesting to explore why these institutions function the way they do, the ways in which they concentrate power, and the means they employ to keep it. And controversial statement, maybe, but you can't effectively explore the politics of revolution and social change without understanding the structures you're trying to change. Sera's right about one thing: it's not as simple as just lopping off the top.

[clockwork-windmills]

something I've noticed from theory posts going around is that people seem to think that Aziraphale's actions at the end of the season are very out of character. I, to put it lightly, entirely disagree. Aziraphale's character arc in season 2 was beautifully and subtly written and the season HAD to end the way it did to let both Aziraphale and Crowley develop.

The flashbacks this season served narrative purpose beyond "haha let's see what AC got up to all that time ago". The way I interpreted the show was that these were specific memories Aziraphale was recalling throughout the season as a result of all the shit going on with heaven and hell and gabrie- i mean Jim and vinylatte and everything. Aziraphale went through a character arc known as a Fall Arc (coincidence? who knows):

Character believes lie

Character clings to lie

Character rejects truth

Character clings to worse lie (in this case, a more extreme version of the original)

This is shown not only through Aziraphale's present-day actions, but through the flashbacks.

All through the series we see how Aziraphale wants to do good. He likes doing the right thing and he - though he has moments of doubt - ultimately believes in the goodness of heaven and the evilness of hell. He hasn't had that same rejection of it as Crowley has had. That isn't a sign his mind has been tampered with or anything. That's just how he is as a result of all of heaven's manipulation and his genuine desire to do the right thing.

The apparently stark change in attitude after his conversation with the metatron isn't really as stark as people think. Aziraphale loves the idea of what heaven could be. His initial image of heaven has been shattered through millenia of being failed by them (especially recently with Armageddn't), but I think that he genuinely believes that with himself in charge, he could make that image real again. What he thinks he wants is what we saw at the beginning: him and Crowley side by side doing good. His arc in season 3 is going to be him joining Crowley in the recognition that the whole system is fucked up, and finally choosing Humanity (and Crowley of course) over heaven.

ALSO REMEMBER THAT HE ACCEPTED THE OFFER WITH THE IDEA THAT CROWLEY WOULD COME WITH HIM. Heaven are SO manipulative.

The fact that his actions are so in character for him at this point in the story is what makes "fix-it" fics so hard. It doesn't need fixing. This is literally how it has to go before they can converge their paths again and be happy. It's sad, and I love happy endings, but we need this sad ending first to give both Aziraphale and Crowley the opportunity to grow.

I may add to this some other time because this is a rambly mess but I just had to say this. thank you neil gaiman for writing such a well thought out transition season that stands on its own wonderfully. fingers are crossed for season 3 :)

[rookie-critic]

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (dir. John Francis Daley & Jonathan Goldstein) - review by Rookie-Critic

Making a Dungeons & Dragons film is not something you think would be difficult, but it has proven to be quite a challenge. Since the original tabletop RPG's release in 1974, only four official films have even been released, and the first one of those didn't come out until 2000, 26 years later. That original trilogy of D&D films had a rough go of it, all three being both commercially and critically panned, and none of them even coming close to truly capturing the wondrous and, frankly, kooky spirit anybody who has actually played the game before knows it to have. With literally endless narrative possibilities, how can filmmakers keep failing to capture the essence that makes this fantasy role-playing game so much fun? Honor Among Thieves bursts through the theater wall like some kind of medieval Kool-Aid Man with answer to that question, and the answer is: comedy.

I have only played Dungeons & Dragons a few times, but just from what little experience I have with the game, I can tell you that the one constant the D&D experience offers is humor. The main game mechanic of having to come up with your own solutions to problems, with everything revolving around some arbitrary numbers on a page and a roll of the 20-sided die, is a veritable stomping ground for quirky hijinks and mayhem. Having the utmost confidence in yourself and your plan to get past an obstacle only to roll a one and fail miserably, having to act out the ensuing embarrassment in real time, that's what makes D&D so much fun. The fantasy world is almost just a vehicle to introduce wild NPCs and gadgets and magic to even further induce mischief. The thing that makes Honor Among Thieves work so well is that it takes all of these aspects of the game and just slaps them onto the big screen. I can just as easily have seen this as a HarmonQuest-style internet show where Chris Pine, Michelle Rodriguez, and the rest sit around a table with some cameras pointed at them as we watch them actually play this campaign out in actual Dungeons & Dragons. Characters shit talk each other, deliver quippy one-liners when appropriate, get caught off guard by something they didn't expect to happen, come up with crazy solutions that logically shouldn't work, but then it somehow miraculously does. Literally everything about the spirit of this film is perfect, and the most wonderful part is you don't have to be into D&D in order to enjoy this, it's mostly just a fun adventure comedy.

The whole cast shines perfectly in their respective roles (I'm always a huge fan of Hugh Grant in anything comedic), but a truly special shout out needs to go to Chris Pine on this one. If Chris Pine isn't the perfect choice for a too-sure-of-himself, slightly annoying, but lovable bard-type character, then I don't know who is. I would say my one reservation with the film is that there are a couple of moments where the writing leans a little too heavily on over-exposition when explaining some of the deeper lore the audience needs for context on characters. There was probably a way that could have been weaved a little more naturally into the dialogue, but I can probably just chalk it up to yet another D&D trope. Maybe when the writers were playing through this campaign (which I'm almost certain they did), they had a slightly over-zealous DM who got a little too into it sometimes. These moments never last too long and, ultimately, do provide a lot of necessary information regarding certain important characters in the story, so they didn't end up detracting from the viewing experience hardly at all. This was a fun, heartfelt, and hilarious journey into one of the most famous mythical lands there is that the film makers clearly put a whole lot of love and personal experience into. It makes for a D&D film that anyone, regardless of age or interest in the source material, can have a fantastic time with.

Score: 9/10

Currently only in theaters.

[thecoramaria]

Hi friend!!! I’m trying to balance making a character emotionally deep (exploring their past issues with their parents and own personhood how they grow from all that now) with a goal that is inherently on the sillier side (goldfish “the snack that smiles back” crackers are being discontinued and they fight government folks funny style to get them back). How do I ensure these two focuses don’t lose their individual strengths?

I think you should make those two plot-lines as intertwined as possible and never ever apologise or point out the absurdity of it. Spy x Family does this masterfully, if you've ever watched the anime/read the manga. How do goldfish crackers tie in with the relationship they have with their parents? Did they create these moments of love and affection that never bled into the rest of the relationship, or at least not as much as it should have? If that was the case, I'd have the parents and their child work together to fight for these goldfish snacks to come back. It'll not only put the family dynamic in proximity to the goldfish cracker issue, but hinge the fate of this family on bringing these goldfish crackers back. In their minds, these are the one joy holding their family together. It also means that in the process of working together to bring back these crackers, there's a lot of opportunity for interaction or drama, such as:

The main character being expected to meet their parents' high expectations (like they're fighting the government here)

Alternatively, the main character being infantalised or given the vibe that they're "helping the grown-ups" even though the MC is also an adult themselves

The father (assuming there is a father) doing that stubborn man thing of thinking he knows best and refusing help

The mother (assuming there is a mother) being critical of everything about the process without offering any helpful solutions (these last two points could be applied regardless of gender btw but they are patterns I've personally noticed)

Plus a bunch more possible scenarios and directions to take

It leaves the big question of the narrative: in the process of fighting for these goldfish crackers, will this dysfunctional family be able to sort out their issues and come closer as a result, or will they be separated forever?

From there, I'd use the outcome of the goldfish cracker plot-line to contrast the fate of the family:

Scenario 1 - They win back the goldfish crackers, but the MC realises that they don't "fix" the relationship between them and their family. Thus they decide that the only way to heal is to cut them out and move on. (Idk if you're planning on writing abusive, villainous parents, but if that's the case then this is the route I'd show.)

Scenario 2 - They don't win back the goldfish crackers, but in the process they learn that they never needed them in order to reconcile and heal as a family. The parents recognise and respect the person the MC has become, and the MC also understands their own parents better. They may not have gotten what they wanted, but they found what they needed.

Now, the story you have in mind might not look anything like what I've outlined here, and that's okay, but I wanted to use my version to demonstrate the following considerations:

How do I tie the internal struggle of parents and personhood with the external struggle of fighting the government to bring back the snack that smiles back?

How do I make the outcome of the crackers plot-line matter to the parents plot-line and vice versa?

Ultimately, the closer you tie these two threads together, the more they strengthen each other. It may be a silly scenario, but how many times have you forged connections through silliness and humour? How many times has something that someone else claimed "wasn't that serious" bothered you? How many times have you gotten attached to things that might seem small and insignificant to other people? Something can be absurd and funny and still be earnest and emotional at the same time.

That's why I must reiterate this: Never ever apologise for or lampshade this absurd plot within the story itself. Play it dead-straight, and it will work.

[thedemonscrawler]

Hello! I wanted to ask if you could share another snippet of the Shadow Realm from Paper Slips (if you want to) please? I honest to god love your writing, and would love to see some more of it. Also another question regarding writing, what inspired your style of writing? Or inspired in general.

Aaaah that's a tough question to answer because at this point I don't really know what inspired my 'style'. It's all pretty mashed together from a bunch of different sources.

Probably most of it comes from the fact I've roleplayed p much since I got on the internet, and the past 10 years pretty consistently. There's a lot I've learned and accumulated from my past partners as we've built off one another, and RP is a constant system of getting responses and feedback on what's working, how to take a narrative in a certain way, and how to get a specific response. Nothing really beats writing a reply that you know is going to have your partner going "AAAAAAAAAAAAA" at you.

I can still offer some authors, I think? Richard Adams (Watership Down) has some very, very good metaphorical and descriptive language, particularly in describing memory and senses other than sight. Terry Pratchett (the Discworld novels) has a good, opinionated narrator and a dry sense of humor. Douglas Adams (The Hitchhiker's Guide) kind of meets in the middle, with a strong narrator and vivid metaphor.

And sure, I'd love to share another snippet! This section was originally from Chapter 8 when Gregory went to the Security Office, but it ended up getting cut in favor of the arcade machine.

---

Considering for a moment, he leaves the security office (the door opens, this time), making a beeline for the worktable next to the gutted arcade machine.

The scuffed and dented metal toolbox is heavier than he thought, and it takes some effort to drag it to the edge of the shoulder-high table. Grabbing it by the corners as best he can, he starts easing it off the table and into his arms.

...make that easing it off of the table and directly onto the floor.

Dropping his hands from his ears, he stares at the scattering of tools and parts with resignation. Hopefully no one was close enough to have heard that. At least with most of its contents all over the floor the toolbox is a lot easier to pick up, and he carries it away from the carnage and over to the security door. Once the door opens Gregory sets the toolbox down on its end, right in the threshold. He squints up at the door, adjusting the position of the toolbox a little, then takes a few steps back. 

The metal security door comes down on the toolbox with a loud clang! that has Gregory covering his ears again. Something up above the doorframe squeals, gears crunching, and the toolbox scrapes against the black and white tile of the office floor when it twists a little, but ultimately everything stays in place. Satisfied with his solution for a secure escape, Gregory finally enters the security office to start searching for something that can get him to the fire escape.

(gets the employee badge)

There's nothing else in the security office that he needs, so he heads out the door, dragging the toolbox with him and pretending he doesn't notice how the security door doesn't actually close all the way now. He'd had some vague idea of maybe cleaning up all the tools spilled on the floor, but after staring at the scattering of metal and plastic, he just leaves the toolbox sitting next to the workbench instead. That was a problem for someone else to handle.