#narcissism at no. 2 yes i do have mental problems why do u ask

[wayvtual]

these were my top songs btw <3

[beautifulloblivion-blog]

The facts are. You think im not taking responsibility for my shitty actions as u so put it.

I walked away from YOU. Because of YOUR shitty actions. And as USUAL. When I end up feeling guilty for having BOUNDARIES and try to come back. Because some fucked up part of me thinks i need you. You always do the SAME THING.

Weve even talked about it before. You blame me..ita always me its never you you call me a narcissist. You talk about my mental health. You uae every weapon that you have based sheerly on knowing all my weaknesses. And not ONCE do you EVER SAY. Maybe its PARTLY not even PARTLY your fault too.

But sure. Blame me. Make me the bad guy so YOU can feel better about the fact that YEA I KEEP WALKING AWAY.

Maybe...just maybe. It might have something to do with. Idk....YOU?

Or are you so DESPERATE to make the absolutely NO ONE who gives a FUCK if were friends or not see that its ALL ME IM THE BAD GUY that you have to talk like your so much mentally better and stable and this or that.

Who is it YOURE TALKING TO?

Me? Because trust me. I get what you truly think of me. Thats WHY we cant be friends why i KEEP walking away.

Even after you made promises to not attack me ans blame it all on me. And it's ask because you made me promise not to walk away..no matter what. Well sorry i decided that i have boundaries..sorry i decided to have respect for myself.

Yea setting boundaries and walking away when people ignore them..and then attack you even after..definitely makes me the problem.

The thing is..the only problem i REALLY had. Mentally ..was agreeing to "no matter what" after years of lies and games and blame. The even WORSE problem i have is actually continuing to IGNORE THAT and ignore myself and my pain because .. For some reason i was holding onto things that DIDN'T EXIST.

But every time i told you that. That we didn't know each other that this 2 weeks were just..two really broken people..trying to find a raft in another person. Youd tell me it was more it was real it was this or that etc etc.and although yes this feelings were real..then. They havent been for a long long long time. And i made that mistake so many times. Holding onto a ghost while trying to fight your lies..

That you never admit to. That you never take responsibility for.

So you can post all the your past trauma doesnt excuse your shitty behavior posts you want.

And I'll even AGREE. My bpd doesnt excuse shitty behavior.

But WALKING AWAY because you lie and play games and manipulate abd expect me to be the no matter what with 0 care for myself and my BOUNDARIES etc. Thats not SHIT behavior. Thats someone who ACCEPTS REALITY and TRUTH and DOESNT TOLERATE shit behavior from someone who.. Supposedly has it so much together that they get to gaslight and judge...and thinks there are no repercussions because theyll just blame it on the other person.

Hell even i got so wrapped up i BLAMED MYSELF for walking away as if i didnt have the RIGHT.

I asked for YOUR forgiveness for HAVING MY OWN GOD DAMN BOUNDARIES.

But yea. Im the one w the SHIT BEHAVIOR.

Projection is a MIRROR

Blame is an excuse.

Narcissism is a sickness.

"Past trauma doesnt excuse shit behavior"

Feel better soon.

I know i sure finally do.