#namjoon drabbe | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jeonchristineimnida · 4 years ago

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Namjoon - Badbye

Genre: angst, swf

Pairing: Namjoon x named female OC

Warnings: none

Word count: 2899

Song Inspiration: Badbye - RM

A/N: This is written in third person POV and the highlighted text with no indentations are flashbacks

Masterlist

~~~ This fic is made in line with ficswithluv's event: Bulletproof Bingo! If you guys are interested in joining, they still accept sign ups until June 13! ~~~

Goodbye.

This word is always closely related to pain and tears, both for the receiving end and the person who has uttered it. At times, it is uttered as the circumstance dictate, and other times it is said against the person’s will. Although a closed door can mean that another has opened, the pain of letting go, especially if it’s against one’s will, cannot be denied.

Namjoon sets off once again, riding the bus with no specific destination in mind. It was the dead of the night and most of the other passengers are too sleepy to notice the internationally famous boy band leader at the back.

Where did you run off to again, Namjoon ah.

He smiled as he replied to Yoongi, who was the first to find out about his absence. He reassured him that he’s fine and that he’ll be back first thing in the morning. He placed his phone back into his pocket before returning his gaze to the vast dark sky with no stars in sight. Only the crescent moon was dimly lighting up the night as it hid amongst the thick clouds, just like that night when he said his first goodbye.

The sound of the sea drowns out the noise of the city behind him. With his eyes closed, he can imagine himself in a different world, one with no failures, no regrets, no doubts, no competitions, no toxic standards, no pain. But he knows himself a life like that can’t be called life. He heaved a deep sigh as he felt the sands beneath his palm while he sat by the shore just far enough for the waves not to reach where he was.

“Joonie!” her voice once again melted the young man’s heart. Namjoon was only 15 when he got offered to be a trainee in the company called Big Hit. His parents have always been disapproving of his new found passion in music but only his best friend, Seoyun, was supporting him wholeheartedly. Of course he was happy to be able to receive such an opportunity, however it meant moving to Seoul and leaving her behind here in Ilsan. His contract has already stated that he’ll be training for almost 15 hours a day, which barely left him time for himself.

As she approached him, he couldn’t help but stare as he wanted this moment to be etched into his memories for a long time. How she always wears a baggy sweater with the front part tucked in her high waisted fitted pants that she always pairs with her beat up, red, Converse. How she always puts her chestnut hair up in a messy bun, and most especially how her eyes disappear when she smiles as she walks towards him.

“I brought us some snacks!” She says as she stands in front of Namjoon, holding up a black plastic bag filled with convenience store food. She sat beside him, dusting off the sand on her palms before taking some snacks.

Namjoon didn’t know how to break it to Seoyun, but he knew he had to tell her. Especially when his move is in 2 days.

“What’s the bad news?” She suddenly asked, taking Namjoon by surprise. His face was lost for words which urged Seoyun to answer his wordless question. “We’re at the beach at night, which meant this would be a serious conversation. You taking your time to speak can only mean it’s not an easy news to break. Come on, Namjoon. We’ve been friends since we were kids. I can read you like an open book.”

“I actually auditioned for this entertainment company.” He focused in front as he spoke so he couldn’t see the face she’d make. “and I’ve been offered a contract to be a trainee.”

“Wow--Joonie, that’s amazing.” Her voice showed genuine happiness. “You’ve been working for this really hard. I’m so happy for you!” she smiles as she takes Namjoon’s shoulders and makes him face her. Her happiness didn’t match the face of the one who got offered the contract though.

“The thing is, I’ll have to leave Ilsan in 2 days, stay in a dormitory in Seoul while I train. It may take years before I could come back.” She was now silent as she looked down for a second. She cleared her throat, trying to get rid of the knot that was starting to form. She wanted to support her best friend with her whole heart, but there was heaviness in his words. It was like he was saying a permanent goodbye.

“I don’t like your tone, Joonie. Why are you saying goodbye like you won’t ever see me again?” She wasn’t able to hold back her tears as she let go of him to cover her face. She quickly wipes her tears before looking in front of them, focusing on the sound of the waves as she tries to calm herself.

She won’t be the one to get in between Namjoon’s dreams as she knows how much passion and potential her best friend is brimming with.

“Seoyun ah,” Namjoon cooes, already thinking twice of whether to leave her alone when he’s all she’s got. With no parents, no siblings and an abusive uncle, he badly wants to take her with him to Seoul but he doesn’t have the capabilities to do so.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s gotten into me for a second” Seoyun laughs as she wipes the tears before facing Namjoon with a smile. “I won’t forgive you if you don’t pursue the dream you’ve been pestering your parents about for awhile now.”

Namjoon pulls her close, hugging her tightly as to reassure her that no matter the distance, he’ll always have a special place in his heart dedicated to her.

The bus had stopped and Namjoon had no idea where he was. He’s probably disoriented from the long trip, and the fatigue from the day that has passed. He crossed the road from the bus stop, noticing a convenience store. He went inside and walked straight to the drinks area, deciding whether he should grab a bottle of soju or stick with the cider. Already thinking about the uproar it may cause if he gets caught by dispatch, he reluctantly grabbed the bottle of cider and a bag of chips, heading towards the cashier to pay for it and settling down on the tables and chair set up outside the store.

As he always did, he starts observing the place, at the dead of the night with almost no noise but the quiet rustling of the wind and the scent of a sea near by. It was a decent place, not highly maintained, but definitely not worn down either. At this late night, it seemed like a ghost town until a group of loud teenagers came by and entered the store.

Namjoon gazed with a smile as he remembers his time with his members during their trainee days. They were innocent, quite pure as they were yet to be exposed to the real world waiting upon their debut. All they know was they loved what they were doing and were eager to share their sentiments to whoever they can reach. They trained day and night, working on their music, working on their dance moves. Their body barely kept up as they only had instant noodles to refuel them, but they never gave up. But no practices and late nights were enough to prepare them for the heavy criticisms once they step into the spot light.

Coming from a small company, the burden has been hard trying to keep the group together with such little finances available to them. The members have considered disbanding multiple times when they were still starting and those were the hardest time for him. Not only was the public ridiculing them but even the members were starting to lose hope within themselves. It was only Seoyun that kept him pushing on.

It’s been a year since they debuted and Namjoon tried to keep it in, not wanting to break down infront of his members. He locked himself in his studio, making his composition as an excuse to keep to himself.

“Joonie?” A soft knock was heard from the door. The guys must have let Seoyun in without him knowing.

Seoyun was able to move to Seoul to attend high school after his uncle passed away from kidney failure and she had to move into a distant relative’s place in Seoul. It didn’t even take a day before she shared the good news to Namjoon and the two couldn’t express how happy they were through mere words.

“Come in.” Namjoon grunted as he opened the door, closing it abruptly as soon as she came in. She made him sit down on the couch, making his back face him as she gently massages his shoulders.

No words were exchange as they already understood each other. Her soft touches were able to calm Namjoon down, letting his wall break as he lets it out. His frustrations, his pain. Slowly, he chokes in his sobs, burying his face in his hands. A weight shifted from behind him to his front before being wrapped in Seoyun’s embrace.

“It’s just so damn hard,” he was able to mumble as he succumb to the embrace, slowly being soothed by her soft caress.

“You don’t have to suffer by yourself. Your members are there for you, I’m here for you. You know that, right?” Her soft voice comforted the young boy after being under heavy unjustified criticism, which is honestly just borderline insults. “You’re not alone here, Joonie. You have people that believe in you. Have you forgotten the hearts of the ARMYs you’ve reached? Remember when one came up to you and just cried, thanking you for your existence and how you stopped her from taking her own life when she listened to your song ‘Tomorrow’?”

It was a reminder that Namjoon needed to hear, and he couldn’t be thankful enough for her existence in his life.

Namjoon was taken off his trance when his phone rang and his manager’s name was displayed on the screen. He only had little time for himself that he felt conflicted about answering the phone. The ringing soon stopped and soon came a text message

Namjoon ah, I just got off the phone with this American talk show. We’ve scheduled an appearance for you on the 3rd week of the month. We fly right after your goodbye stage in Music Bank.

I’ll leave it to you to inform the other members, leader.

Namjoon sighed as it was yet another restless month for everyone. It’s been 5 months since they were able to visit their families. Little by little, everyone was growing exhausted, both physically and mentally and it affects their relationships.

Relationships within the group and as well as with people outside the group,

Everything’s been hectic since their first win. The fanbase was steadily expanding and they’ve gotten more projects as they started promoting in Japan with Japanese translations of their songs. The group has been exhausted but nevertheless excited. However, the pressure that the group felt can’t be denied. As their fanbase grew, they felt as though more expectations should be met. The heaviest pressure lies on the shoulders of the leader who takes part in producing most, if not all, the songs in the albums and while promoting, is working on the songs for the next album.

With no rest, no sleep, and barely enough time to eat, the members have been irritable and exhausted. Most of the time, they’d get into petty arguments with each other that sometimes get physical.

“Joonie!” Seoyun was able to visit their last week’s promotion before they fly to Japan for a month. They’ve been officially dating for 9 months and the company has acknowledged their relationship but has no approval of making it public.

She wanted to surprise her boyfriend but as she entered the waiting room, the atmosphere was tense and no one was smiling at all.

“Noona,” Jungkook looked at Seoyun with a face of relief as his eyes silently pleaded for help. She now focused and saw the scowling faces of Namjoon and Hoseok.

“Ah, whatever. I’m going to get something to drink.” Namjoon stood up and left, brushing past Seoyun without even acknowledging her. Jungkook explained that things got heated when Namjoon and Hoseok had a confrontation from the correction of position during their set recording. She patted the youngest’s shoulder and gave him a comforting smile before going after Namjoon.

To be honest, the couple weren’t in a good condition either. They haven’t met for almost 5 weeks and they barely had a decent conversation because Namjoon was too busy. She has been feeling insecure but she never brought it up to him, not wanting to add anymore burden than he already is carrying.

“Joonie?” Seoyun softly calls out after finding him near the vending machine. It was in a restricted area, only for idols which allowed her to approach him freely. Namjoon only looked at her, still visibly annoyed from the incident. “What happened?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” He coldly replied, resting his head back on the wall as he sat on the bench beside the machine.

“Come on, you know you can talk to me right?” Seoyun cooes, sitting beside him as she tried to hold his hand but he abruptly pulled away.

“Can’t you just leave me alone for one second?!” Namjoons voice echoes the empty hall, shocking Seoyun. She’s seen him angry and agitated before, but this was the most aggressive he’s been with her. “No matter what I tell you, you wouldn’t get it. You wont understand. No one does.”

“You know that’s not true” her voice was soft and shaking as she fights her tears from falling.

“Just leave. I’m not in the mood to talk.” He says, still refusing to face her.

“You think you’re the only one who has it hard, huh?” Seoyun snaps, now the tears fall from her eyes. Namjoon finally looks at her. He starts to realize just how much his girlfriend has gone through, but was not able to see that as he got blinded from the pressure and exhaustion. He wasn’t able to speak as Seoyun breaks down in front of him. She tells him her frustration and how she tried to keep it together for his sake. She now starts to spill about her problems one at a time, from the family’s mistreatment yet again to her problems in school. His problems as an idol overshadowed the problems of others, including the members and only Seoyun was able to make him realize this mistake.

“I’m sorry.” Namjoon says, head bowed down in shame as he tries to keep his tears at bay. He felt like he had no right to cry after hurting his girlfriend this much. “I’m sorry, Seoyun ah. You deserve so much better.” He mutters, his hands slowly taking hers as it subtly shake.

“Jooni--”

“Lets break up.” He raises his head to face her. As if the words that he has said hadn’t hurt enough, seeing her reaction completely shattered his heart. Her face was pale from shock as tears continue to fall even without her blinking. “I’m sorry, Seoyun ah. I can’t take care of you as I promised. I thought I could, but all I’ve done was to hurt you. If we get exposed as a couple, I don’t know if I’ll be able to protect you,” He now has his head back down, closing his eyes as he wipes his tears. His voice softly cracks as he feels his chest tighten before facing her once again. “I love you, Seoyun ah. Be happy. Goodbye.”

Namjoon sighs as he remembers how poorly he used to handle the stress and the pressure of being an idol. It has been 5 years since then and he’s happy that he can now say he has matured with the members, handling the pressure and exhaustion better and being able to take the criticism that comes with their success. They know better than they can’t please every body, and that they’re content with being able to reach people with their music and crossing language and culture barriers.

It has also been 5 years since he had to let go of someone due to his immaturity, and if only he was given a second chance to go back in time and change how he handled that situation, he’d do anything.

He wouldn’t have said goodbye, because now he’s only left with regret.

An alert from his phone sounded and he picked it up, clicking on the notification that led straight to an article that he already knew about.

His best friend, Jackson has just gotten married.

He places his phone down, regretting that he only got a cider as he reached into his pocket bringing out a delicate envelope with a laced ribbon. He opens it as he reads the content, tears pooling on the edge of his eyes before falling on the opened letter dedicated to him.

Kim Namjoon,

Park Seoyun and Jackson Wang along with their families request the pleasure of your company at their wedding in XX XX at 5PM in the afternoon on XX XX, 2020.

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guksthighs · 6 years ago

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缘分 || knj

缘分 ( yuanfen ) - a relationship by fate or destiny; the binding force between two people.

Summary: You cast a spell as a witch to keep you and Namjoon as soulmates throughout your lives however you never remember each other until your first kiss together.

Genre: fluff, soulmate!au, witch!reader x wolf!joon, guardian angel!au, mermaid!joon x human!reader

Length: 2.3k

Aes: @petrimyg - istg the amount of talent this lovely girl possesses is craZY !! i had absolutely no idea if she’d be able to make a moodboard for this imagine and i love it!! i hope you do too!!

A/N: this is a very different imagine to what you’re used to for me, it’s longer but also includes multiple aus and a continuous love story! please tell me what you think!!

“Soulmates never die,” your hands wove through Namjoon’s hair, dark strands that had softened ever since you’d insisted on him using your conditioner in the shower. He was sitting on the floor of your cabin, pulling faces at your cat.

“But I don’t want to be immortal,” Namjoon whined, and you moved to sit opposite him, holding his hands in yours and pressing a kiss to each palm.

“I can work around that.”

Your boyfriend’s mind had, however, already moved on as your cat hissed at him before climbing into your lap and beginning to purr, causing him to leap to his feet and point accusingly at it, “How can you have a cat when I’m literally a dog! I’m the only pet you need!”

You laughed and stood up to look at the spines of the books that lined the shelves that stretched from floor to ceiling, it wasn’t long before Namjoon was standing behind you and you laughed at the familiar sound of him wagging his tail.

“Is someone happy to see me?” You giggled, turning and moving to the tips of your toes so you could peak over his shoulder and watch Namjoon’s fluffy tail wag and thump against his back. When he realized what you were looking at, moving a hand to grip the base of it and try to stop it from revealing how happy he was to be near you.

“Of course I’m happy to see my girlfriend!” He rubbed his nose against yours with a goofy grin that made your face heat up in embarrassment, “even if we live together and I get to see you every day.”

“I love you Joonie!” You whispered before pressing a kiss against his lips and smiling shyly as your heart swelled with all of the love you had for your soulmate.

Namjoon gave you a dimpled smile, before sweeping you up and off your feet, walking towards your bedroom, slowly placing you on the bed and capturing your lips in an open-mouthed kiss that you only paused to whisper, with a slight giggle, “Who’s a good boy?”

Your werewolf boyfriend sat up, back completely straight as he looked down at you in surprise, ”I am! It’s me, right? I’m a good boy?” His tail thumped against the duvet rhythmically in anticipation as he looked at you with wide enquiring eyes and you remembered when his wolf instincts took over he acted like a dog.

The guilt seemed to cover you in a blanket of embarrassment, sitting up to capture his cheeks in your hands and grin, “It’s you! You’re a very good boy! The best boy!”

Namjoon laughed and nuzzled into your throat, acting more like a dog than a wolf, “I knew it! Don’t scare me like that!” He moved and lay next to you, hand holding yours as he gently traced the scars from failed potions, pressing kisses to the tips of each fingertip.

“Why do you think soulmates don’t die?” Namjoon finally asked, referring back to your earlier conversation and you turned to smile at him pressing a kiss to his lips.

“Common witch knowledge,” he shook his head with a laugh at the phrase you always used when you were too lazy to explain something but this time you did have an actual reason for knowing that neither of you would ever truly leave the other, “I cast a spell that meant our souls will always find each other.”

“You finally managed it?” He exclaimed in surprise after an off the shoulder remark had lead to you obsessing over the desire to stay with Namjoon for life. He’d often find spell books left open on spells that were for keeping soulmates together. He’d given you his permission when he’d first declared that you were is mate and that he was going nowhere.

So Namjoon meant every word as he said, “I can’t imagine anything more romantic.”

When Death came for you, as you were laying on the grass looking up at the sky through the branches, you were waiting. You had been waiting for eight years now, werewolves were known for having shorter life spans and ever since Namjoon breathed his last breath, you’d been alone.

You saw his cloaked figure approach you, the grass withering with each footstep before he offered you a hand, “it is time, young witch.”

The tears swam in your vision, sitting up to look at Death with an accusing look, “Is he waiting for me?”

Death chuckled, “you’ll just have to find out.”

“What do you mean you have a crush on the Captain?” Jeongguk looked at your face and burst into laughter, clutching his chest as he tried to catch his breath after seeing the look on your face that confirmed his statement.

You were both sitting at your desks, not used very often due to the amount of field work needed from an assigned guardian angel but it was fun to catch up with your coworkers, especially Jeongguk. He was joint top of the class with you, his white wings stretched out behind him, displaying their pale brown inside.

There was no point in explaining that your whole life you had felt like something was missing, a lost puzzle piece to your soul and that whenever you were near Namjoon you felt complete. So instead you made it about physical attraction, as you always did when it came to the subject of Namjoon.

“But Gukkie, he looks so good in a suit.” You rolled your eyes back at the idea of him letting you sit on his lap, and cover his face in kisses. Jeongguk watched you daydream and slapped your wings, laughing at your startled expression before quickly silencing.

A hand landed on your shoulder, sparks shooting from where the hand was placed as if fireworks were exploding within you. It must be him, Kim Namjoon, the Captain of the Intensive Division and also the man who you were head over heels for.

“Would you like to explain why you’re not currently on the field?” His hand squeezed your shoulder and turning to smile sheepishly at him, you knew you had made a huge blunder. It was true that the young girl you were watching over was going through a particularly harsh period but you had decided you’d done enough for a month and to see if anything you’d taught her had actually stayed. “You’re coming to my office.”

Namjoon’s voice held the kind of authority that you were unable to go against, although you knew he was taking you into his office for another reason and you quickly shuffled in behind him trying to hide the massive grin on your face.

The second the door had shut, he turned and squeezed your cheeks in his oversized hands, “Y/N! Can you behave just once!” Namjoon was your childhood friend and kept a watchful eye over you ever since he’d been put in charge of your division.

Usually, you would be able to control your urges to press light kisses to his cheeks or pull him onto a sofa and cuddle up with him, but you’d been working non-stop the last few weeks with your assignment.

“What are you doing?” Namjoon questioned as your hand moved past him to stroke the pure white wings that grew from his back, you were too tired to fight this particular urge as you side-stepped his figure and hugged his wing. It was incredibly soft and although it was the purest white you had ever seen, Namjoon’s always seemed to glimmer and glitter under the light, especially when he was flying.

You looked at him over his wings and grinned, “soft as always Joonie!” In return he reached for your tawny brown wing, frowning at the unkempt state of your wings that had obviously not been groomed or used in a long time.

Instead of bringing this up and embracing you, he grabbed your wrist and lead you out of his office, deciding what you both needed was some space from the stiff rules of the agency. “Let’s feel the wind under our wings!”

The door opened and you tilted your head back as beams of light stroked your face, stretching your wings behind you with a massive grin before with one large flap, you took off. “You’re the best!”

Namjoon was in the air soon after you, smiling at you in a way you’d never seen before and he swopped dangerously close to you, grabbing your hand in his own and tugging you to fly up, higher into the clouds.

There were multiple perches stationed around the city, and he had chosen to take you to his favorite, one of the highest that overlooked the brightly lit city. The truth was that Namjoon felt his cheeks heat up around you and had been harboring a crush ever since you had sat next to him in school and teased his perfect marks.

As you sat shoulder to shoulder, Namjoon leaned his weight into yours before pressing a chaste kiss to your cheek, “I have something I need to confess.” He watched your expression uncertainly, worried that he was about to ruin a lifetime friendship.

So you pressed a kiss to his nose, “I have a crush on you Kim Namjoonie!” You grinned and flapped your wings, ready to fly away in embarrassment when he caught your wrist in his hand and pulled you to face him so he could press a gentle kiss to your lips.

You both jerked back in surprise, your hand lifted to hold your head that suddenly was beginning to throb, memories flooding through your mind before you risked a glance up at Namjoon to find him with a similar look of shock written across his features.

“We’re soulmates,” you managed to gasp, looking up at him as if to confirm that you were right and when he pulled you into a tight hug, stroking your hair as if he would never let you go again, you knew Namjoon felt the same way.

The feeling of having lost something important dissipated as with every touch from Namjoon, you were put at ease. You had found him.

Namjoon remembered his mother. She used to speak of adventures with beasts and princesses awaiting rescue in tall towers, she would speak of the type of love that always solved everything. But when she died his father told Namjoon to never speak a word of the happy endings she had once told. But the young child could never let go of those stories and found when he was older, it was still impossible to let the idea of a happy ending go.

So when his first look at you made shivers run down his spine, he knew you were more than just a human. Namjoon enjoyed watching you, lounging atop a rock as you hurried about the beach, serving drinks to those lounging in the bar and would slap his tail against the rocks, trying to grab your attention.

“Oy Joonie!” You called, waving your hands before running over and wading until you were knee deep into the sea, “I haven’t seen you in ages!” You grinned up at him, one hand shielding your eyes from the sea, and he dove from his rock to be closer to you.

There were many different species in your cafe, from elves to angels, there were no species that were forced to hide from humans and although your friends, namely Jimin and Hoseok, boasted of the elves being the best in bed, it was Namjoon who had captured your heart.

His black hair hung over his forehead and seemed to match the navy blue tail that would often brush against your legs and cause you to laugh. Namjoon wasn’t just extremely handsome with his tanned skin and a smile with a set of dimples that was infectious, he was also clever.

Often he could tell that you were upset before you’d even opened your mouth, and whenever he’d wrap his arms around you, squeezing tightly, you felt electricity buzz at every part of you he touched.

“How are you today, my minnow?” Namjoon grinned down at you, watching as your ears turned red with a blush, the sound of the waves preventing any curious onlookers from listening to your conversation.

You grinned up at him, “better now I’ve seen you Joonie!” Now it was Namjoon’s turn to look away, embarrassed by the urge to squeeze both of your cheer and press a kiss to your lips. You’d both been friends for almost a year now and because of that, you recognized that he wanted to say something.

Namjoon didn’t and would never know what went through your mind when you reached up and kissed him, but the second you did it was like fireworks had exploded upon his lips. His mind instantly filled with memories of you, but not you as you were now, he saw the brilliant tawny wings extending from your back, the long pointed ears sprouting from another time, a black pointed hat resting upon your head as you proclaimed him to be your soulmate.

“Did you just see that?” You asked tentatively, eyes wide open as you stared at him before Namjoon nodded at you.

Everything seemed to silence, the sky without a cloud and the sea so clear you could admire his brilliant blue tail but it was Namjoon’s next words that reminded you that you were not dreaming, “You are my happy ending!"

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