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kim namjoon fanfics that has a special place in my heart! part 2 recs! (part 1)
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đșđŒđŸ.
Two Years by @jjungkookislife (husband!Namjoon x wife!Reader) completed
Accidental Kiss by @babeejeon (bestfriend!namjoon x reader) best friends to lovers au completed
Donât push your luck by @btsgotjams27 (namjoon x reader) genre/au: angst | ex college rivals, e2l, co-workers, one-bed trope completed
Under the mistletoe by @btsgotjams27 (namjoon x reader) genre/au: fluff | ex college rivals, co-workers, frenemies completed
Pitch Fest by @btsgotjams27 (namjoon x reader) genre/au: fluff, a lil angst (you know me) | co-workers, ex-college rivals, slight e2l completed
Sentient by @trivia-yandere (android!namjoon x reader) genre: yandere completed
Boss Me Around by @margotw10bis (boss!namjoon x assistant!reader) completed
Rough love by @sxtaep (namjoon x reader) completed
Daddy by @author-ssi (namjoon x babysitter!reader) completed
#kim namjoon smut#namjoon smut#namjoon fluff#namjoon angst#namjoon masterlist#namjoon fic recs#rm smut#bts smut#yandere namjoon#android namjoon#boss namjoon#kim namjoon fanfic#bts fanfic#kim namjoon#knj fanfic#namjoon x reader#btswritersclub#bangtanwriters net#namjoon x y/n#namjoon x oc#namjoon x you#rm fanfic#namjoon scenarios#husband namjoon#smut knj#namjoon au#knj angst#knj x reader#knj fanfics#knj series
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blooming wallflowers (m) | knj
ⶠSummary | Your life has been in shambles with only your two sweet girls keeping you strong enough to carry on. It has been a while since the flame of desire you once had within you dim into almost nothing, until the man who spends his life fighting against arson comes into your life (and your two little girlsâ) only to help light up that fire once again
ⶠTitle | Blooming Wallflowers ⶠPairings | Kim Namjoon x older female reader ⶠGenre | Firefighter!Namjoon, Single mother!reader, Smut, Angst â¶Â Word count | 20,800 words ⶠRatings & Warnings | +18 / M for Mature; allusions of past/toxic relationships, healing, usage of alcohol and drinking, dealing with insecurities, age gap with older female reader (OC is in her mid-30s), trapped in confined spaces; contains explicit smut scenes, including: sexual tension, dirty talk, light restraint, soft dom!Namjoon, switching positions and roles (OC taking control at some point), clothed foreplay, grinding, dry humping, thigh riding, implied body worship, breasts play, fingering, clit play, pussy slapping, riding, grinding, semi-public sex (does dining room count?), pet names, groping, biting, edging, oral sex (female receiving), minor hand-job, panty ripping, clit biting, panty sniffing, praise kink, hair pulling, rough sex, protective sex, multiple orgasms, forced orgasm, overstimulation. ⶠAuthorâs Note | Written as a commission for @KimCheeHoo | Iâm so sorry this took me forever to finish. Thank you so much for commissioning me and for your endless support. I hope youâll enjoy this story. Have fun reading! ⶠStory Note 1 | Written in 2nd person POV (in case youâre new to my writing, I donât use ây/nâ coding as all of my lead characters are considered as OCs). This story has POV switches, and this is roughly edited, so forgive me for any mistakes. Banner design made by me, age warning divider by @/cafekitsune | Posted in: September 25th, 2024 by @yoonia
ⶠAlso written as part of the @bangtanwritershq âGot A Secret, Can You Keep It?â Third Quarter 2024 writing event! ⥠AU type: Hold Me Tight - Dilf/Milf AU ⥠Themes: Age Gap, Situationship ⥠Inclusions: Edging, Fingering, Angst/Hurt, Restraints
ⶠMusic companion | Blue Rain, Make You Mine ⶠMain Masterlist | Mailbox | Taglist | Ko-fi | Commission ⶠRead on AO3 ⶠShort story: Dinner with Mista Joonie
On some days, you would feel like you are finally getting your shit together.Â
But today is not one of those days.Â
âMommy! Hana is trying to bite me!â You hear your oldest whine as she hugs the pancake batter box to her chest. Shaking your head, you can only guess that her sister has been trying to take that box away from her hands.Â
âNo, I did not!â Hana, your youngest daughter argues back, âMommy, Suzy wonât let me use the scanning thingy.âÂ
Suzy narrows her eyes and scoffs. She has been doing this expression a lot lately. It took you weeks after you first saw her making such an expression to figure out that she had somehow gotten it from you. Hanaâs new biting habit, however, is something that you have yet to figure out how and when it started.Â
âYouâre such a baby,â Suzy says, rolling her eyes, which only riles up her sister more. Â
âI am not!âÂ
âYes, you are. Thatâs why you canât do this. Babies donât do what grown-ups do.âÂ
Sullen, Hana props her hands on her hips and lifts her chin, as if it would make her look bigger against her sister while whining, âBut youâre not a grown-up too!âÂ
Watching them go at each other, you cannot decide whether you want to laugh or cry.Â
Hanaâs attitude reminds you of someone. You, perhaps, no doubt as the only role model she currently has to copy some of that sassy attitude from. You probably should feel embarrassedâdeep down, you do, you are somewhere in public, after allâas the girls continue fighting, their voices loud enough to draw some attention, with the addition of being super dramatic about it.Â
Only for them to have a turn at helping you with the self-checkout counter.Â
You know the reason why you cannot find it in you to be mad at them. Not when the girls are showing you that they are the perfect carbon copy of youânot that you are the kind to have a tantrum in the middle of the supermarket, at least not at this ageâand when they are always full of surprises. And you cannot deny that they are so stinking cute.Â
Suzy, the bigger one out of the two, is mostly quiet and sweet. As a six-year-old girl, only weeks away towards her seventh, she often makes people think that she is a bit older than she truly is with how calm she acts around others. Until recently, she has always been so shy. But that is only until the moment her little sister starts acting out and then she would react so strongly to her tantrumâjust like what she is doing now.Â
Hana, on the other hand, is more brave and confident, and a bit too smart for her own good. Always so curious and mischievous, and always loves to copy whatever her big sister is up to. And she is always so headstrong that nothing can stop her whenever she wants something.Â
She just turned four, and you were sure that she could barely speak full sentences just a year ago. That period of time feels so long ago as you watch her arguing with her sister, with perfect sound of mind, clear words and reasonings, a sign that she is growing up a bit too soon.Â
âGirls, please stop screaming at each other,â you try to calmly separate them.Â
You have no idea what is happening. Normally, your girls would know perfectly well how to behave. They take great pride in being your âlittle helpersâ and it isnât rare for you to bring them with you when you are out buying groceries.Â
For some reason, they have been like this all day. Constantly arguing and making a fuss over everything. Even to the smallest things.Â
âYou can take turns using the scanner. Let Suzy finish scanning the pancake batter, then you can do yours, Hana. HereââÂ
Reaching into the shopping cart, you grab the box of cookies that you donât remember placing inside the cart and try to hand it over to Hana. Only for it to slip out of your hand when both Suzy and Hana try to reach for it. Both insisting on taking it and having their turn.Â
âMotherfucker,â you mutter under your breath as the box slides on the floor, and both girls immediately launch into another series of arguments, blaming each other for dropping the box and getting you angry.Â
Tears are pooling in the corner of your eyes, and the quick switch of your mood isnât unnoticeable for your girls as they both grow still. As if they are expecting you to snap. You bite your lips, trying your best not to.Â
Just as you take a deep breath to compose yourself, a shadow comes to your side, picking up the fallen box and handing it to you.
âExcuse me,â a deep voice speaks, snapping you out of it, only to pull you into a dreamy trance the moment you get a look at his face and see his smile. The dimple on his cheek distracts you from your distraught that your mind becomes numb for a moment.Â
âHi there, do you need any help?âÂ
âUhm, not really. Itâs fine,â you answer, barely getting a word out when it feels like your brain has short-circuited. You shake your head, noticing his extended hand, offering you the box that you dropped earlier. âOh, thank you,â you say to him, smiling apologetically as you take the box from his hand. âIâm sorry, Iâm not sure why my girls are acting like this. Theyâre not usually this dramatic.âÂ
âThatâs okay. Kids will be kids, right?â His eyes flicker towards your girls. Suzy, still in shock, is standing right by the cart while clutching the box of pancake batter to her chest, while Hana is clinging to your leg, almost hiding. âI donât think you remember me, butââ The kind stranger offers the same hand to you to shake as he introduces himself, âIâm Namjoon. I just moved in a couple of doors away.âÂ
Once the information sets in, everything clicks. âOh, yes. Thatâs right. I do remember.âÂ
All of a sudden, your memory takes you to last weekend, when you joined a cookout event held by one of your neighbours. The gathering was initially meant to celebrate their 25th anniversary, and you recall how they extended the celebration to welcome the new neighbour arriving in your block. You were so tired that night and were so focused on watching your kids that everything seemed to flash by, but you do recall gossiping with one of your neighbours, Ellaâthe only other single mom of the groupâabout how hot and stunning the newcomer looked.Â
Blinking away the memory, you offer him another smile. âIâm sorry, I think the stress got to me. But I do remember you, although I donât think we had enough time to chat.âÂ
âItâs fine. I wonât blame you, given the circumstances,â he says, and that cute dimple appears again. He turns to your kids next, bending a bit lower to match their height. âHi, there. Are you girls trying to help your mom with the checkout?âÂ
Suzy presses her lips together, too shy to speak, but Hana is always happy to offer an answer. âSuzy wonât let me help.â You look down to see her pouting her lips, yet her eyes are still wide, looking curious and intrigued by this friendly stranger. Once again, something that you might share with your girl.Â
âWell, I havenât checked out my things and I might need a little help. So why donât we let your sister help your mom, and you help me with mine?â he offers Hana with a smile as he points at his shopping basket, which is barely half full. Any adult would notice that he wouldnât be needing much help with them, but Hana immediately perks up at his generous offer.Â
âIs that really okay with you?â you ask, worrying about troubling him when you barely know him at all and letting your daughter out of your sight.Â
As if he knows what you are thinking, he points over his shoulder at the next counter, which is only recently vacant. âIâll take the next counter, so you can see and hear us all the time.âÂ
A sigh of relief escapes you. For some reason, looking at him alone is enough to reassure you and make you trust him. Maybe itâs the dimple. âRight. Okay,â you say to him, nodding. âGo ahead, honey. Help the nice mister with his groceries. But promise me that youâll be good.âÂ
ââKay!â Hana easily agrees, getting overly excited that she has been given something else to do. âI promise, Mommy.âÂ
Find the beauty in the chaos.Â
You remember reading that sentence somewhere. Perhaps from one of your favourite romance novels or one of those self-help books that your mother bought you during your darkest time.Â
Each time you are having a hard time, be it from work, from dealing with household chores, or from caring for your daughters, you will always remember those words to keep your composure. Just like how you kept repeating those same words moments ago while you were stressing over your kids, when you tried to remain calm and sane.Â
You didnât expect the beauty to come and find you in your chaos instead.Â
Having someone helping you just when you are starting to lose your calm feels like a blessing from the universe.Â
Once peace has been regained, everything seems to return back to normal. Almost as if your daughtersâ tantrum and fight never happened.Â
While you work together with Suzy, who is enjoying her role as your little assistant, her smile widening each time the items go through, you can hear the sound of soft giggling from nearby as Hana does the same with her new friend.Â
And Namjoon, the kind stranger and your saviour of the day, is making it fun by playing a little game with your little girl using the scanner and his groceries, drawing smiles and laughter from Hana, her little drama earlier forgotten. Soon enough, they are done, yet Hana remains by Namjoonâs side, almost clinging to his strong arm as she chatters away while he listens closely, hanging to every word she says.Â
It appears that your little girl has completely become infatuated with the man. You cannot blame her though, since the man is quite easy in the eye. You have even noticed some of the women passing by looking over, and it surprises you how quickly it is making you feel territorial about him.Â
âThank you so much for your help. I truly appreciate it.âÂ
And you mean every word, seeing that not only has he helped solve your little problem with your demanding daughters, he also stays long enough to walk you to your car. If that isnât enough to make you feel as if you have been transferred into another dimension, he has somehow gotten your daughter lifted in one arm, while he carries his grocery bag in the other.Â
âItâs nothing, really. I enjoyed talking to your sweet girl,â he says, once again showing his dimple, and you can swear that you are swooning just by the look of it. Perhaps itâs his voice that does it to you; the deep timbre that makes you feel warm inside. It might also be the way he glances at Hana, not even showing any sign that he is getting annoyed for having his evening thwarted by having to deal with little girls and their very disorganised mother.Â
âI mean it. You couldâve just walked past and didnât offer anything, but you still did. Youâre even walking us out to the car.â You sigh, recalling the bitter memory of the drama earlier. Glancing at him, you realise that Hana has become extremely silent. âPlease tell me Hana isnât falling asleep on your shoulder.âÂ
Namjoon lets out a soft chuckle as he takes a peek at Hanaâs face, her cheeks smushed against his broad shoulder as if she has found the perfect place to rest her head on. âI think sheâs about to.âÂ
Biting your lips, you hold back the sound that almost comes involuntarily out of you, because you can almost hear your ovaries exploding.Â
Namjoon helps put Hana into her kiddie seat in the backseat of the car while you strap Suzy in right beside her. âYou seem like youâve done this before,â you let it slip, and you quickly move your hand to cover your mouth. âIâm so sorry. Youâve been so nice and here I am, sounding too presumptuous.âÂ
âItâs okay. Most of my friends have kids, and Iâve helped them once or twice whenever Iâm free. I also have a niece from my sister, which gave me a chance to practice.âÂ
You take a peek at his grocery bag and remember what you saw in itâa box of beer, a couple of boxes of microwave dinners, and some snacksâand feel the urge to cook him dinner. Just to pay him a favour.Â
Yes, thatâs what it is. Not that you are eager to have him over for dinner or invite him into your home for anything other than.Â
The offer is there, hanging at the tip of your tongue. But then you bite your lips, your insecurities and doubts rearing their ugly head, making you feel so small that you take a step back and simply say, âThank you again. Iâm so sorry for all the trouble.âÂ
Namjoon shrugs it off. âIt was a pleasure to help.âÂ
Nodding, you look around, trying to find a distraction. You quickly notice that most of the cars parked near yours have gone away. âAre youâwhere did you park your car?â
The dimple on his cheek appears again when he shows you a bashful smile. âI donât drive a car, actually,â he says, grinning and rubbing the back of his head. âI rode a bike here.âÂ
âAâbike?â You resist the urge to look around, just to be sure. Riding a bike at this time at night? You have no idea whether to feel amazed or baffled. Perhaps both.Â
Seeing your reaction makes him laugh, and you somehow decide that you like the sound of it. âYeah, I always ride a bike to the gym, and I was just heading home from there when I decided to make a quick stop to grab some sustenance for the evening.âÂ
Hiking the grocery bag in his arm higher, Namjoon takes a step back. That is when you notice the bag hanging from his shoulder. The one that wasnât weighed down by Hanaâs little head.Â
Okay, you have officially decided to be amazed. Is this guy for real?Â
âWell, I guess Iâll see you around?â He asks, snapping you back to the present before your mind starts picturing him carrying something else on those shoulders.Â
No, none of it involves you.Â
Maybe.Â
You shake your head and muster a smile. âOh, you betcha. Youâll definitely see us more often. Especially now that Hana has decided to like you.âÂ
You linger at the driverâs side of your car, hands on the door, yet your body refuses to slide in. You have no idea what seems to be drawing you towards him. Whatever it is, it makes you not want to leave.Â
Namjoon tilts his head, as if noticing your hesitation to leave first. âGo on, Iâll watch you until youâre out there safely.âÂ
You open your mouth, almost ready to tell him to get back on his way before realising that the parking lot is quiet. Too quiet. And you have to admit that ever since you were left with only your two girls, you have been feeling a bit more vulnerable. Choosing to accept his offer of staying until you are safe to goâand feeling warm in the chest for having someone care enough to do soâyou nod your head and slip into your car.Â
Once you are strapped in, you look out the window to wave him goodbye.Â
âDrive safe,â he says, and then the dimple reappears when he smiles, almost causing you to stutter.Â
âYes, um. You too.âÂ
Hanaâs eyes flutter open just as Namjoon takes a peek into the backseat window to say goodbye to the girls.Â
âBye, Mista Joonie!â she cheerfully shouts, as if she wasnât falling asleep in his arm just moments ago.
âGoodbye, Mister,â Suzy chimes in with a shy smile, waving her hand at Namjoon which he returns with a small wave.
âIâll see you girls around!âÂ
Giving him one last wave and a smile, you begin to drive away. You can still see him through the rearview mirror, standing by and watching you go, until you are almost out of the lot and you see his figure running in the distance to get back to his bike. Itâs brief, but there is something about this chance encounter that makes you feel bitter about leaving.Â
Even if, deep down, you know that you will see him again soon.Â
Perhaps I shouldâve offered and invited him for dinner, after all.Â
There is truly no beauty in this chaos.Â
Even if there is, it would be impossible for you to see it. Not in moments like this.
It seems like the entire universe is out to get you this week, as nothing seems to be aligning the way it should have. The whole office has been in complete havoc all morning. Typical for Blackwell Press, the publishing company you are working with, to have the final week of the month filled with all the hustle. With everyone getting caught in deadlines, meetings and conference calls held back to back, and your own work piling up, it almost seems impossible for things to get even worse.Â
But, of course, it eventually did.Â
Offices donât randomly get caught on fire during the daytime, when there are peopleâmany of themâinside. Elevators donât randomly get stuck merely seconds after the fire alarm starts blaring across the building.
Okay, this elevator had gotten stuck before, during that one time some staff were working late at night and the machine suddenly failed to work. Everyone has been joking about it happening again during a busy day, and it feels like karma that it has to happen again now.Â
But must it happen when you are inside it?
The steady hum of the elevator suddenly turned into a deafening silence just moments ago, and the only thing you can do now is to stand frozen in the flickering light, wondering what is going on. Trapped between floors, the confined space appears in your mind as if closing in on you, the walls shrinking with every breath. The only reprieve you are given is the fact that you are not in it on your own.Â
Your heart is pounding in your chest, louder than the faint crackle of the intercom as Daniel, the Marketing guy, tries to contact the security staff downstairs through the intercom. His voice remains calm despite the constant crackling sound each time they try to respond, while the other Marketing staff present with you, Jae, has long discarded his suit in his effort to calm himself.Â
You take shallow breaths to keep yourself from panicking, all while trying to listen to the soft hum of their voices as they talk about what to do, just to keep your mind from wandering towards dark places. Right beside you, Lily, the only member of the Editor team aside yourself, is slowly losing her calm.Â
At the sudden halt of the elevator, she had reached out to grab the sleeve of your blouse as if searching for support. As seconds tick by, her grip on your sleeve tightens as she tries to control her breath, her eyes locked on the digital screen that is no longer displaying a floor number. And you let her cling to you, even when you feel like you need some added strength for yourself.Â
It was by mere coincidence that the four of you are stuck here together.Â
You were the last ones to leave the conference room after the latest meeting, having been the ones responsible for providing the items for the meeting. As fate has it, merely seconds after the doors were closed and the elevator had only started moving, the fire alarm started blaring through the building, and everything came to a halt.Â
âTheyâre saying that help is on its way,â says Daniel, relaying the message that he just received from the intercom, his voice becomes the calm in this dire situation.Â
You find yourself feeling grateful that at least one of you manages to hear the voice coming through the intercom, while you havenât been able to focus on anything at all. Nothing but the sound of your breathing, the rapid sound of your heartbeat, and at the way the air seems to be growing stale with four people sharing the same oxygen in this tight space.Â
âWhat did they say? Is it connected to the fire alarm?â you try to ask, hoping that getting some positive news might help clear your thoughts. Even if just a little.Â
âNo, they didnât say anything,â Daniel says with a strained voice, possibly due to reality finally sinking in once the intercom stops making any sound to respond.Â
Pinching the bridge of his nose, Jae leans back against the metal railing and sighs. âLetâs just hope that weâre not anywhere close to the fire, and itâs just some issues with the electricity,â he adds while trying his best to remain calm. But it doesnât help make you feel any calmer when his eyes begin wandering at every visible gap and crevice as he speaks, as if making sure that he isnât seeing any smoke filtering into the elevator.Â
It makes you feel uneasy to see this. Every bit of calmness that you still have begins chipping away.Â
Soon, silence falls as everyone tries their best to remain still and composed while waiting for help to come. The minutes drag on like hours, allowing your thoughts to wander into a darker place and letting your doubt and fear sink in.Â
Is the building really burning?Â
Why are we stuck here? How long are we supposed to wait?
What happens if help doesnât come?Â
What about my girls? What will happen to them if Iâ
You blink away the tears forming in your eyes at the thought of not returning home to your girls. The thought of leaving them behind hurts you beyond words that you are beginning to lose hope.Â
Gripping the metal railing behind you tightly, you close your eyes and begin to pray. And you continue to pray as time slips away in the dim, stalled box. Please, you beg whoever is listening. Please, someoneâ
A loud clatter breaks the silence, causing everyone to jerk their heads up, all eyes looking around to find its source. Right as Jae is about to speak, the clattering stops and comes a muffled voice from somewhere above.
"Hello? Can you hear me?" The voice is clear now, firm but calming, and somewhat familiar. But your mind is a jumbled mess of worry and bewilderment that you cannot figure out the reason why you would think that way.Â
"Yes!" Jae calls back after looking around, seeing how everyone is stunned to silence, âYes, we can hear you!â
"Stay calm," the voice calmly instructs from above. âWeâre from the firefighters. We're going to get you out."
You feel your knees weakening with relief. Even the others collectively exhale deep sighs of relief and Lily begins to loosen her hold on the sleeve of your blouse. âOkay,â she whispers, steadying herself. âWeâre going to be okay.âÂ
Daniel nods when he sees that everyone is calmer. âOkay, weâre ready!â he shouts to the person on the other side as he braces against the cool metal wall.Â
Soon, you hear a low, scraping sound against the elevator door, followed by the clank of tools echoing through the small chamber. The elevator shirts slightly upon impact, causing everyone to gasp and instinctively start stepping away from the door. Before panic starts to set back in, the firefighterâs voice cuts through again, calming everyone down. Â
"We're going to manually open the doors. You might feel the elevator shift a littleâdon't worry. You're safe."
Safe.Â
The word echoes through your mind, acting like a spell as it brings some reassurance. Something for you to cling to. The clanking sounds of the tool returns just as you start hearing the firefighter coordinating with his team outside.Â
More creaks and groans follow next, lasting for a short while, and thenâlight appears. The doors start inching open, revealing the gap between the elevator floor and the hallway above. Two strong hands appear from the gap, pulling the doors wider until there is enough space for you to see your rescuers in their fire gear, all focused and ready to pull everyone out.
One firefighter peeks through the opened doors with a smile. âAlright, whoâs up first?âÂ
Both men who are with you step aside, allowing either you or Lily to get out first. So you push Lily forward, letting her get helped first before you take your turn.Â
"Alright, just one step up," the firefighter says, reaching down with an outstretched hand. "Take my hand, weâve got you."
You hesitate only for a moment before grasping his hand, his hold feels solid and reassuring. You can feel the strength in his grip as he hoists you up and out of the elevator, the cool rush of fresh air hitting you like a wave of relief. Your legs tremble as they touch solid ground that you nearly fall, yet the kind firefighter holds you up by your arms, keeping you steady as he sets you aside so that the other members of his team can start helping the men out.
"You're okay now," the firefighter says, his voice softer now. "Just breathe. Youâre safe."
Nodding, you close your eyes, allowing yourself to feel the weight of your fear melting away. Still unable to speak, you glance back at the elevator, seeing it still wedged between floors, and feel a shiver run through you as you remember that you had just been inside it moments ago. But as you look around, watching the firefighters handling the situation, helping the other three who had just gotten pulled out to get help, the terror that was gripping at you begins to loosen its hold.Â
With a relieved sigh, you straighten up and turn back to your saviour, the firefighter who had just pulled you out and is still holding you up. The moment you see his face, you finally understand why his voice felt so familiar, and why you could easily find calmness when you first heard him speak.Â
âNamjoon,â you whisper his name, drawing a smile to his face, showing you the small dimple which had been in your mind ever since the night you last met.Â
âI told you weâd meet again soon.â Â
âIs this really necessary?âÂ
You are sitting at the corner of the buildingâs main lobby, together with the other three who had gotten stuck with you in the elevator. Other staff have also been evacuated here while the firefighters are working to find the source of the problem.Â
Namely, the reason why the fire alarm went off when there was no sign of the building burning anywhere.Â
Right by your side, Jae is being checked by the medical team when it is quite obvious that all the man wants to do is to get back to his office.Â
âYou were under duress just moments ago, Sir. We need to check your vitals to make sure that there are no other issues with your body that the incident may have caused before letting you go.âÂ
âLet the boy do his job so we can all go back to the office,â Daniel chimes in just as he is done being checked out and the medic moves to Lily next. The poor girl has yet to regain some colour on her pale face, which makes you worried. âWait, weâre allowed to go back to our office, right?âÂ
The medical staff nods and talks about waiting until everyone gets clearance from the investigation team before going back up. After getting your turn for the quick check-up, you wander off a bit between the staff lingering around, feeling too restless to sit still.Â
Before you realise what you are doing, you begin searching for a familiar figure between the throng of people, and you donât stop until you see a group of firefighters returning to the lobby after checking the floors above. One of them, who appears to be the team leader, walks towards the head of security and the Head Editor waiting close by.Â
âIt came from smoke forming in the break room. Someone mustâve burned something in the microwave or forgot to pull it out and the smoke triggered the alarm,â you hear the team leader speak, explaining the cause of the fire alarm. âThe faulty alarm system made the electrical circuit go haywire, which made it seem like it was a bigger fire than it was, and it may have caused the elevator cables to short-circuit.â The team leader hands the draft of their investigation report to the head of security. âThe elevator needs to get checked too, since the cables are old. You need to get it done soon.âÂ
The Head Editorâyour bossâtakes a peek at the report and shakes his head. âIâm gonna need to contact building managementââÂ
His voice begins to fade away when a movement catches your eyes, and you see the person that you have been searching for separating himself from the group to approach you.
Namjoon, who turns out to be your saviour, walks up to you with a smile on his face. âAre you okay?â he asks, the familiar deep timber of his voice brings some warmth to your chest, telling you that this isnât a figment of your imagination.
âYeah,â you answer with a small voice, still too dumbfounded to see him standing before you like this. âUhm, yes, Iâm fine. Thank you so much for saving my life.â The moment you say this, a soft giggle slips right out of you. âThis makes it the second time this week youâve come to my rescue.âÂ
Namjoonâs smile widens. âIâm just glad to help.âÂ
He takes a look around. âSo, a publishing agency, hmm? What is it exactly that you do here, if I may ask?â His curious gaze lands on you and it feels like he is trying to look into your soul. âI hope itâs okay if Iâm curious, since you now know what I do for a living.âÂ
You let out a nervous laugh. âI donât mind at all,â you admit to him before answering, âIâm an editor. I edit manuscripts for upcoming books before they are sent out to print and get officially published. You can say that Iâm being paid to read and comment, and gain the extra privilege of reading the books first before everyone else does.âÂ
âThat sounds interesting,â he says, raising his brows. âI donât suppose youâll be getting back to work after this?âÂ
âIâm not entirely sure. But I donât think I will.â You glance around at your co-workers. Neither seems to have any desire of going back to work after this whole incident. Sharing the same feeling with the others around you, you feel a strong desire of seeing your girls and spending time with them instead. âI might get back to my office only to pack up my stuff and leave early, pick up Hana from daycare and have a little cool down at the park before we go and pick up her sister. I know sheâll love it.âÂ
At the mention of your girls, Namjoonâs smile softens. âThat sounds fun.âÂ
For a moment, it looks as if he wants to say something, only to stop himself when someone from his team calls his name. Namjoon looks over his shoulder and nods. âUnfortunately, one of us has to go back to work,â he says with an apologetic smile, âIâll see you around. Hopefully, not in another case of emergency?âÂ
You cannot help but smile. âI promise to try and keep things less dramatic next time.âÂ
With a grin on his face, Namjoon turns away and joins the other men from his team as they prepare to leave. You watch him for a moment longer, blending in with the rest of them until someone comes to your side.Â
âSoââ Your friend, Emma, says as she slips her arm around yours. âWhoâs the hunk?âÂ
You roll your eyes and smile. âHeâs a new neighbour. He helped me the last time we met,â you answer, still stunned with everything that has been going on. You never expected that you would be seeing Namjoon again, and for him to once again save the day for you, âWhich makes this the second time heâs helped me.â
âOooh, sounds like a story premise in the making. Itâll make a good romance prompt, donât you think?â she teases, âA firefighter who keeps crossing paths with a single mother, saving her during a series of misfortunes and ending up falling in love after the single mom starts paying his goodwill with homecooked meals and otherââshe starts wiggling her eyebrowsââraunchy favours.âÂ
You laugh at her comment, even if it doesnât stop you feeling your cheeks flushing warmly. âWell, Iâm not the writer. You can probably pitch that idea to the indie author youâve been working with.âÂ
âWho? Sana? Hmmm, youâre right. This is kind of her thing. Let me take notes on that,â Emma says as she pulls out her phone and starts tapping on the screen, no doubt writing the idea down on her notes app. âI might advice her to make it extra spicy too.âÂ
As you continue to chat with your friend about books and promising writers, you let her guide you back towards the Editor team who are gathering at one corner of the room with your boss, talking about the incidents and what they are going to do next.Â
âAre you heading back up?â Emma asks you before you join the others, and you recall your plan about spending the rest of the afternoon with your youngest.Â
âIâm thinking of grabbing my stuff and head back home if Adam lets us go for the day,â you say to her, referring to your boss, the Head Editor who isnât showing any sign of wanting to back to work. Much like everyone else. âIâll probably end up losing sleep again if I want to finish editing tonight.âÂ
You let out a sigh, thinking about the lack of sleep you have been having this week. With new books coming up to prints this month, and new writers struggling to keep up with the schedule that you have set up for them, you have been staying up a lot of nights to catch up with editing.Â
âBut itâs still a lot better to work from home than being stuck here and freaking out about the elevator and false fire alarms all day,â you add, almost like reassuring yourself that it would be okay to sacrifice more sleep for the sake of your sanity. Â
âGood point. I bet we can sweet talk Adam to let us go early today. I donât see the point in working when everyone is stressed out anyway,â Emma jokes as she points her chin at Adam, whose eyebrows are furrowed deeply as he continues chatting with his assistants. âAt least, thanks to this, I think we deserve to let off some steam. What do you say we go out this Saturday? Grab some drinks, dance a bit, maybe you can practice your flirting skills so you can make use of them the next time you meet up with that cutie again.â Â
You make a face as you imagine yourself trying to make a move on Namjoon, which only makes her laugh. âIâm serious. He seems nice, aside from being hot, and itâll be a missed opportunity not to tap that.âÂ
You roll your eyes, but a part of you is starting to consider it. As much as you love being a mother and to dedicate your entire life to your career, you cannot deny that you do want to start dating again.Â
And the offer to have a night out where you can let off some steam and let loose does sound enticing. Emma and some of your other friends have been asking you to join them to hangout on drink nights lately. But with a lot of deadlines and tight schedules weighing down on you, and no one to watch your girls while you are out, you have been declining their invitation. But after dealing with such a hard week, you feel like you deserve a night to yourself.Â
âI do need a stiff drink.â Sighing, you remember that your daughters are going to be spending the weekends with your parents. It wouldnât hurt to use that free time to have some fun for a change instead of staying in. âAll right. Count me in.âÂ
Emma cheers. âGreat! Iâll call the other girls to see if theyâll come too it so we can all catch up. Chloe called the other day and shared about wanting to see us and give us the souvenirs she got from her trip to Singapore last week, so sheâll probably be excited too,â she says, mentioning another fellow Editor who used to work in the same company as the two of you before moving up to a bigger publishing agency.Â
Just then, you see a small group of firefighters walking across the lobby, heading towards the front door to leave. Among them is Namjoon, who seems to feel your gaze on him. As you continue watching him walk alongside his team, he suddenly turns. His eyes quickly find you among the crowd lingering in the lobby, his smile growing wider as he raises his hand to wave goodbye.Â
Emma makes a humming sound when she sees this exchange happening and whispers, âPromise me youâll tell me more about that hot firefighter of yours.âÂ
Keeping your eyes on Namjoon, you merely smile and wave your hand back at him. âMhmm. Weâll see.âÂ
Itâs a typical Saturday night at Cipher, the rustic-style bar that Namjoon has frequented ever since he moved into the city.Â
The bar had a different name just a couple of years ago, when Namjoon first came by during one of his previous visits to this city, and with different types of patrons as well. The only thing that remains the same since is the man who is working behind the bar, mixing drinks while chatting with whoever decides to hang around the bartender.Â
âHow is living in the city going for you so far?â Jin, the bartender and owner of the bar, asks Namjoon while he is busy wiping clean glasses between drink orders.Â
Twisting the glass in his hand, Namjoon shrugs before taking a sip of his whiskey. âNot too bad. I canât say that Iâve gotten to fit right in with the neighbours. But things are doing good at work, so thatâs good enough for now.âÂ
âSeeing anyone already?â Jin teases, making Namjoon laugh.Â
âAre you seriously asking me that?â He shakes his head. âIt might be too soon for me to get back out there into the dating scene.âÂ
âYou? Not sure about getting out to meet up with women?â Jin laughs. âLook, Iâm not talking about getting into a relationship or finding someone else to propose. Iâm talking about having fun. Go pick someone you find attractive tonight and take her home with you. You deserve a good time too, you know.âÂ
Namjoonâs throat feels tight just by hearing that wordâproposeâonly because it brings back a painful memory; of the days filled with fights and shouting matches and distrust, and the desperation he felt to hold on to the hope that things would have gotten better if he chose to settle down.Â
Shaking the sudden wave of painful memory doesnât really help when he thinks about opening himself to finding instant pleasure to replace what was lost to him. Â
Namjoon may not be a stranger to having a one-night stand. But it has been a while since the last time he had one. Those days are way behind him. Long before he decided to settle down, only to have everything fall apart and he was forced to start over in a new place just to survive.Â
He knows all too well that sharing his bed with someone for one night only does little to fill the void. He knows from what he experienced during his wild days in the past. Physically, he might not have been alone for those short hours, but once it ended, it only made him feel even more lonely than before. At some point, the loneliness started to feel painful. It was what had first led him to start longing for something more.Â
He once thought that he had found more. Only that it had been with the wrong person, at the wrong time, and he found himself back to square one when everything crumbled.Â
He took it all thinking that it might have been karma. Bad fate came to bite him on the ass after all the years he had his fun chasing women, breaking hearts here and there, until he got his own heart broken to pieces just months ago.Â
It was the reality check he needed. One that he has yet to completely recover from. The pain and the memories of the past would sometimes come creeping in, staying with him as if they had been woven into the cracks that were left inside him to remain even after he walked away. It kept chasing him during the nights he spent aloneâand he had tried to go back to the game once or twice, only to fail to gain anything out of itâwhich was why he decided to move away.Â
Start anew. Meet new people. And then one day, maybeâ
He knows that time will eventually help him heal, just like how time has healed many of the scars he had gained through the years of working with danger, chasing fires and pulling people out of crumbling buildings and crashed cars and stuck elevatorsâa flutter of a smile comes to his face as he recalls the most recent incidentâwhile risking his own body, his life, doing so.Â
âI canât believe Iâm getting an advice about hooking up from someone like you,â Namjoon chuckles, as he brushes those thoughts away, choosing to tease Jin instead. âSomeone who claims to be looking into settling down.âÂ
Jin scoffs. âIâm saying this for your own good.â Propping his elbows on top of the bar counter, Jin leans forward. âYou moved here to start over. Not to stop living altogether.âÂ
Namjoon gives him a bitter smile. âRight now, Iâm only going to spend the night nursing my drink, enjoying my downtime while Iâm off duty.âÂ
Shaking his head, Jin leans back and grabs the empty glasses left behind from the patrons who had just stepped away from the seats next to Namjoon. âHave you thought about my offer?â Jin asks, âAbout working here on the nights youâre not on night shift? At least, that way, you might open up your eyes and see all the opportunities you can get by standing right here at the bar, talking to people.âÂ
âAnd live a double life like you do?â Namjoon teases him, which earns him a wink from Jin, before the bartender saunters away as another customer waves him down to order a drink.Â
Once again left with his own thoughts, Namjoon allows himself to sink back into old memories; all the good and the bad; the long-lost hope that he once had and is now trying to rebuild.Â
âWanna have another?â Jin asks when he returns, noticing that Namjoon has almost emptied his glass yet again. âGot enough time to think about what I was saying?âÂ
âMaybe,â Namjoon says as he tosses his drink down. He slides the empty glass back to Jin. âGet me a double of that.âÂ
As Jin steps back to grab his drinks, Namjoon notices the group of patrons crowding nearby spreading away, giving him a clear sight of the barâs entrance door just as a group of women enters, laughing and chatting with each other without realising the attention they are gaining. All of a sudden, Namjoon feels as if the air around him shifts, right the moment his eyes capture the sight of a familiar smile among the ladies who seem to have come for a good time.Â
âCan I ask you something?â Namjoon asks Jin when the bartender returns with his drink.Â
âSure. Anything.âÂ
âDo you believe in fate?âÂ
Jin laughs. âMe? I canât really say I donât believe it, but itâs also not something Iâd talk about while tending the bar. Why?âÂ
Namjoon turns back to look at the group of newcomers, his smile growing wider when his eyes meet yours as you look up, as if you can feel his presence as he sits across the room, watching you with a new feeling of hope brewing inside his chest. Life can be cruel sometimes, he silently admits. Yet it seems that life is slowly turning to his favour when you unexpectedly appear right before his eyes, right when he is about to call it a night and return to his lonely home.Â
âWell, I think I am starting to believe it.âÂ
âI feel like we should make a toast,â Emma starts once you manage to find an open table. She holds up her glass of Cosmo before anyone can start enjoying their drinks.Â
âWhat are we toasting for?â Ina asks, just as Emma shouts,Â
âTo friendship.âÂ
Chloe snorts into her drink and shakes her head. âWhat are we, in high school?âÂ
âHey, I mean, it works,â Emma whines, âSeeing that we still hang out together even after you and Ina moved to different companies.âÂ
Thinking to yourself, you think about the long week that you just had and offer, âHow about a toast to surviving life?âÂ
âIâll toast to that,â Ina quickly agrees with a nod, and you can totally understand why. Being the oldest one of the group, she has a ton of things on her plate among her busy days at work; from dealing with her teenage boys back home who are beginning to act up; a husband who is busy preparing for his promotion; and a sick cat back home.Â
âI love my boys, but sometimes I wish they were still the same adorable toddlers who would listen to me instead of fighting me all the time,â she would often say, though you could always see the love in her eyes even as she complains about them. âAre you sure you donât want to trade them with your girls? Just a night will be enough for me. I promise.âÂ
Chloe raises her glass to join the toast, saying, âIâll toast to that too. These past few weeks have been pretty crazy for me. I want to stay in bed with my hubby for the next few weeks and not answer any texts or phone calls.âÂ
Her comment makes you want to take a shot of your drink. You shouldnât feel envious about her having someone waiting for her back home. You shouldnât wish that you had someone to share your bed with tonight. You really donât need to think about having to return home tonight alone, to a quiet home, without your girls waiting back home, without anyone keeping you company. Â
The only thing you fear the most about being left alone with your thoughts is to have the ghosts of your past coming back. Memories always come stronger at nights. Taking you back to the days when you were not alone, yet you are made struggling even harder than you are now when you tried to hold on to the crumbling marriage.Â
Nobody warned you that falling out of love can be painful. How lonely it made you feel. It scorned you to the point that you nearly sworn yourself off of love, just to keep your heart save. Whatever was left of it.Â
âThen why are you here hanging with us when you have a husband to cuddle with?â Emma teases, her voice snapping you out of it. Then Chloe leans in to hug you from the side.Â
âBecause I also miss you guys,â she says, drawing everyoneâs laughter.Â
You share a toast with the girls, clinking the glasses as you cheer, followed by a series of shots, and then a new round of drinks is shared at the table. You continue talking, laughing, catching up about life and sharing gossip and fussing over some problematic authors that both Emma and Chloe had to deal with for the past month. By the time the next round of shots arrives at the table, you notice Emmaâs eyes looking over your shoulder and grinning at what she sees.
âArenât you going to say hi?â she teases, leaning in to make it less obvious that she has been observing the one person that you have been fighting not to look at.Â
You take a careful sip of your Moscow Mule as you think of an excuse. âWe already waved at each other when we first came in.âÂ
Truth be told, you already know that a simple wave was the bare minimum that you could have given him. Seeing Namjoon sitting there at the bar when you first came into this place caught you by surprise that you were left speechless. It was Namjoon who had first smiled at you, and the only thing you could do was wave your hand at him when your legs refused to take you to him. Â
âYou know thatâs not enough.â Emma rolls her eyes. âThe guy practically saved your life.âÂ
Your reactionâor lack thereofâover seeing Namjoon hadnât gone unnoticed by your friends. But it was Emma who had explained to the others about who Namjoon was, earning you more questions and teasing from the girls which only made it even harder for you to ignore his presence.Â
âIâm sure heâll appreciate it if you offer something special tonight for a thank-you gift,â Chloe teases while wiggling her brows.Â
You laugh, snorting into your drink. âSure he will,â you say, as you find it hard to imagine that someone like Namjoon would even be interested in being with someone like you. Not only because you know that he is younger than you, but you also know that there are many women out thereâmostly those around his ageâthat he would find more attractive, compared to a single mom like yourself.Â
As always, your insecurities are quick to set in. Before you can drown it with a strong drink, Emma quickly protests, âYouâre a MILF, ______. Stop selling yourself short.â
Nodding, Ina gently agrees with her by saying, âYou definitely shouldnât, seeing that he keeps glancing at you.âÂ
âShe means to say that heâs been eye-fucking you since we got here,â Chloe adds, snickering as she glances over her shoulder to catch Namjoon looking over.Â
âHe so is!â Ina says, leaning across the table. âHeâs hot. Go for it.â
Hearing this, you finally take a long sip of your drink, trying to gain some liquid courage. You have only gotten a few glasses of drink, the night has yet grown late, but you have already gotten quite a good buzz going on, and you are using it to grow some courage to look over at him. Sure enough, Namjoon is still there, with a glass of what seems to be whiskey in his hand, and a pair of eyes that are looking straight at you. A smile grows on his face as your gazes meet each other, though it is quickly hidden as he lifts his glass to his lips.Â
âSee? Heâs looking over again.â Emma starts giggling and gently nudges at your shoulder. âGo talk to him and practice that flirting skills of yours.â
âWhat flirting skills?â you ask while laughing. Deep down, your insecurities are still clawing at you, but having everyone pushing you to do something that you normally wouldnât doâlike flirting with a hot younger guy like Namjoonâis starting to make you want to change your mind. âOkay, but what do I say?âÂ
âYou can start by saying hi,â Ina says. She pushes her appletini in front of you. âHere,â she says. âFinish this, then go talk to him before someone else moves in on that fine piece of ass.â
Chloe nods her head as you pick up the glass of appletini and contemplate what you need to do next. âYou can go to the bar and act like youâre there to order drinks from the bartender since weâll be needing some more drinks.âÂ
 âGo on,â Emma joins in, obviously enjoying this.Â
You exhale a deep breath and bring the glass to your lips. The sweet liquor glides down your throat and you suddenly start wishing that you had gotten something stronger. Lowering the drink, you turn to look for him again. Namjoon isnât looking at you this time, yet he is still there, talking to the pretty-looking bartender who was the main reason why Emma had chosen to come to this barâas she seems to be having a sweet crush on the bartender.Â
âAll right, here I go,â you say, as you finish the drink and muster the will to rise from your seat. Your legs are a bit wobbly when you try to walk across the room, but the muted voices of your friends who are cheering for you from behind give you the boost you need to continue going.Â
The floor between your table and the bar has been filled with people dancing while you are drinking, and they come in your way, making you lose sight of Namjoon for a moment. Not being able to see him only makes you feel calmer, until the crowd opens up and you see him once again, still sitting at the bar. Alone.Â
Eyes too focused on him, you accidentally bump into someone who walks right into your path. âOh, Iâm sorry,â you immediately apologise while the person simply slides out of your way and returns to his dancing.Â
You hear a soft chuckle, a familiar sound that causes your breath to catch. You whip around and your eyes are locked with his. Immediately, something fuzzy builds in your chest, and you almost fall out of step when you notice it.Â
Are those butterflies you are feeling inside? You havenât felt anything remotely like butterflies inâfuckâyears.Â
As his smile grows wider at the sight of you walking towards him, you try to convince yourself that his presence isnât affecting you. At all.Â
Your lady bits do not quiver for random men. You are certainly not having dirty thoughts about him. You keep telling yourself this as you get closer to him. And yetâ
Your heart immediately speeds up at the sound of his voiceâcalling your name.Â
â_______, fancy seeing you here,â he says, looking genuinely pleased that those butterfly wings are beginning to flutter again, causing some funny feelings to rise in your stomach.Â
âI could say the same thing. It was a nice surprise to see you,â you respond to him andâfuck, did you really just try flirting with him? âEnjoying your night?âÂ
âYou can say that,â he says with a dimple smile of his, âBut Iâm finding more reasons to feel good tonight now that youâre here.âÂ
Damn, heâs good, you wonder as you stifle a smile, and fail. Maybe he should be the one helping you sharpen your flirting skills instead of Emma or the other girls who always start making jokes about it and making you laugh each time you try it on them.Â
âA friend of yours?â You turn when the bartender comes, throwing you a smile as he speaks to Namjoon.Â
âJin, this is _______,â Namjoon says, introducing the two of you. âThis is Jin, an old friend who first convinced me to move here. Heâs the main reason why I hang out at a place like this.âÂ
You offer your hand to the bartender who takes it with a firm grip. âHi, itâs nice to see you. I see that you and your friends are having quite a blast.âÂ
Returning Jinâs smile, you playfully ask him, âWould it be too much if I thank you for encouraging Namjoon to move here?âÂ
âNope, not at all,â Jin laughs. âSo, what can I get you?âÂ
You quickly make your order, and while you wait for the bartender to finish preparing the drinks, you take the seat right by Namjoonâs side so you can have a little chat. Either the alcohol is starting to warm you up inside, or Namjoonâs friendly smile is making you more comfortable, every bit of tension you feel is lifted when you begin laughing at his simple jokes.Â
Once the drinks are ready, you reluctantly rise to return to your friends to deliver their shots. This time, you have a slight new pep in your footsteps, confidence brewing inside you after realising that you had conquered one of your insecurities tonight by chatting with Namjoon. Your friends welcome you with light cheers, and you celebrate by sharing a shot of whiskey and finishing the rest of your drink.Â
It doesnât take long before your friends decide to end the night.Â
Ina is the one to step away first, when her husband calls her about one of their sons who had just gotten caught sneaking through the window after lying about doing his homework in his room. âWe donât know if he snuck out to see a girl or got himself in other kinds of trouble while he was out, but Dan needs me as a backup to get some answers from the little brat,â she says, kissing your cheek when she bids goodbye for the night.Â
Chloe is the one who needs to go home next, when her husband keeps calling her about feeling lonely at home. âI canât tell if itâs sad or cute, but I think Iâve had enough to drink for the night. I already got an Uber picking me up outside.âÂ
âAre you coming?â Emma asks you, her eyes looking over towards the bar before asking, âOr are you going to stay?âÂ
You follow her gaze, looking at Namjoon chuckling along with whatever the bartender is saying to him. A part of you is telling you to call it a night, but there is a bigger part of you that feels intrigued, and curious to see what would happen tonight if you choose differently. To be selfish for once.Â
âI think Iâm going to stay.âÂ
Your answer brings a smile to Emmaâs face. She seems proud andârelieved. You have no idea why she would feel this way over your decision to stay for a man, but she simply nods and says, âAll right, then Iâll ride with you, Chloe. Iâll see you on Monday, girl,â she says to you as she leans in for a hug and whispers, âGo get him.âÂ
You watch your friends go before finishing the rest of your drink and leaving your seat. Before you can change your mind, your legs take you towards the bar, returning to Namjoonâs side as if you are drawn to him like a moth to flame.Â
âAre you calling it a night too?â Namjoon asks you when he notices you coming, his gaze flickering to follow your friends as they weave through the crowd to find the exit door, as if expecting to see you following them. Â
âI donât really want to go home yet.â You bite your lips. âI think Iâm going to have another drink before leaving. Are you planning on leaving early?âÂ
The smile that grows on Namjoonâs face makes your heart flutter. He does look good when he smiles. âAnd waste the chance to drink with you? No way.â You take the empty seat that he offers right next to him, which he gently pulls closer once you are settled in. âLet me order for you. What are you having?â
âSurprise me.âÂ
Smiling, Namjoon orders you a Moscow Mule, causing you to raise your brows. âYou ordered the same drink twice while you were here.âÂ
âYou have quite a good memory,â you tease him, âAre you sure you donât work here?âÂ
Namjoon laughs. His eyes glimmer under the dim lighting when he says, âYouâre not the kind of woman that Iâd be so easy to forget.â
You can barely hold back from laughing, because you cannot find it in you to agree.Â
âYou donât believe me when I say that youâre not easy to forget?â he asks, moving closer to you until you can breathe in the musky cologne he is wearing.Â
âMe? Iâm nothing special. Iâm justââyou breathe out a sighââjust me.â
He takes your hand, sliding his fingers to your wrist, his thumb finding your pulse where he rubs in circles. âI donât know you very wellâyetâbut from what Iâve seen, âjust youâ seems pretty damn special.â
You laugh again and take a drink, murmuring softly to him, âThanks.â
He looks down for a moment, as if considering what to say. But he seems more determined when he lifts his gaze and looks back at you. There is something in his eyes which draws out the flutters in your chest. A new look which you have yet to see coming from him during the short time youâve known him.Â
The look which shows a different kind of want.
And you can only guess what he is thinking right now. Biting your lips, you wait until he says the words, because there is nothing that you want more right now but to go with him. You enjoy talking to him, to be in his presence, and you have a feeling that you might enjoy it more if he offers something more.Â
Itâs just one night, so you can possibly handle it. Right?Â
Fuck. All of a sudden, you donât feel too sure about it.Â
But the gentle touch of his fingers on your skin, together with the deep timber of his voice when he hums, is slowly enticing you to open up, to give in to chance.Â
Namjoonâs eyes meet yours and the same dimple smile of his returns. You swallow hard, ignoring the sound of your pounding heart as he asks,
âDo you want to get out of here?âÂ
Biting your lips, you can feel your chest tightening. Your heart beating fast. Hard. Your body moves to lean closer even without you meaning it to.Â
âYes,â you whisper, and his face lights up, as if he was almost sure that you were going to refuse.Â
âYour place, or mine?â
A simple question, made with a light tone of voice that sounds almost joking, except that Namjoonâs heart is beating rapidly inside his chest as he says it. He already risked everything when he first asked to take you away from here. Now, it feels as if he is risking a bit more as he waits for your answer.Â
You bite your lips, and your hesitance only makes him feel worse. âIs there any difference?âÂ
Namjoon wants to say, no, it doesnât. The only thing that matters is for him to be spending this night with you. You push your hair back, and when your eyes meet his, he can almost feel your heart beating right up against his.Â
âAre your kids home tonight?â Namjoon tries when youâre not too sure. Somehow, he understands that you might be wary about coming home to his place when you barely know him.Â
âNo, theyâre at my parents.âÂ
A smile is lifted on his face. âThen are you going to take me home?âÂ
You return his smile and lean closer. It amazes him how quickly you switchâfrom shy and hesitant at one point, to feeling more confident and daring the next. And it turns him on even more when you say, âOnly if you promise that youâre going to be a good boy.âÂ
Namjoon calls an Uber to take you both home while you make a quick stop at the restroom before leaving the place. In the short time that he has to wait for you, Namjoon struggles to keep his composure. Itâs almost laughable the way it makes him feel like a newbie. For him to feel so nervous as if he is inexperienced in this.Â
In a way, this is something new for him. Enough to make him feel exhilarated about what is to come.Â
He turns just in time to see you walking up to him. As if your moment away had given you the chance to recoup and find some resolve, you look as if you are shining, your smile looking bright and your eyes filled with lust and want and it takes everything in him not to pull you into his arms here and now just to kiss you senseless.Â
âTake me home, mama,â he jokingly says when he opens the car door for you, making you laugh.Â
Instead of answering him, you grab the front of his shirt and pull him in with you until you are seated in the backseat of the car together, bringing the heat that you share into the confines of the car as it takes you back home.Â
In the tight space within the car, the heat that has been building up between you becomes more palpable. You can tell that he is feeling it too. And he seems to be giving into it, when he keeps running the tips of his fingers from your hand to your wrist, when his knees keep pressing against yours, and when his eyes keep trailing from your face, down to your cleavage, and then back up to your neck, before lingering on your lips.Â
He wets his lips, as if he is picturing himself tasting you with a kiss. âCan I be honest with you?â he whispers, leaning closer.Â
âOf course.âÂ
âIâŠcouldnât stop thinking about you,â he admits with a soft chuckle. It seems that his confession surprises him just as much as it does to you.Â
âSince the fire alert?âÂ
âNo,â he says with a grin, âever since the night we first met.âÂ
Was it at the supermarket? You wonder to yourself, trying to figure out what he could have possibly seen in you that night through the chaos with your girls.Â
No, it was before, you begin to realise, as you recall the night of the cookout event at your neighboursâ backyard, when Namjoon lingered close by after sharing a quick chat with you, and when you caught him watching you from the side while you were helping your daughters with their dinner plates.Â
âI told myself after watching you go that night that I shouldnât get my hopes up, since you seemed to have a lot going on already and I probably didnât deserve any second of your time. But then I saw you at the supermarket and I couldnât resist saying hello.â His eyes find yours. You have no idea what kind of expression you are giving him while you are loss for words, but Namjoonâs smile softens. âAnd just when I thought it couldnât have been more than a coincidence, we got the call to your office and there you were. It feels like we just keep crossing paths with each other. As if I am made to make a move.âÂ
Noticing that you have grown silent, Namjoon tilts his head and asks, âWhatâs wrong?âÂ
With a bitter laugh, you can only shake your head. âNothing, itâs justââ You bite your lips, hating the way your insecurities have always been able to come to the surface the moment you try to push against your boundaries, when you try to take risks like what you are doing tonight. But you simply cannot help it. The feeling is clawing at your chest that you can barely breathe. âYou know you couldâve gotten home with someone else. Someone who isnâtââÂ
You try to look away, yet Namjoon isnât having it. With his fingers on your chin, he turns your face gently so you are forced to look at him again. âIs notâwhat?âÂ
Your throat feels tight and your mouth feels bitter when you answer, âOlder. A single mom. AââÂ
Namjoon presses his thumb on your lips to stop you from speaking further. âRemember what I told you earlier, and I really meant it,â he says, his gaze softening and heating up at the same time. âYou are special. If you had said no to me tonight, I wouldâve gone home alone, and spent the rest of the night finishing the last cans of beer I still have in my fridge or eating any frozen leftovers I could find before passing out on the couch.âÂ
You blink. His honesty surprises you, yet you would be lying if you told yourself that it doesnât make you feel flattered to hear him choosing you.Â
As if there is a switch inside you that has been flipped, everything fades to the back of your mind. All the voices that keep putting you down are silenced. The only thing left in your mind is the image of this gorgeous man spending his night alone in his quiet home, eating one of those boxed meals you saw peeking through his grocery bag and downing beers until he falls asleep, and you decide that you are not having it.Â
Seems like you are not the only one who needs to take some risks tonight just to experience some changes in life.Â
âYep. Thatâs it. Iâm sending you dinner next time.âÂ
Namjoon laughs. âWhatâ?âÂ
Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you pull him down to you and press your lips on his, putting his wordsâand your thoughtsâto silence with a kiss.Â
âIâm sorry for the mess. The perks of having little kids are always having too many things scattered around the house, andââÂ
It is still surprising to see how easy and quickly you change depending on the moment. You keep going from Miss In Control to a more subdued figure filled with insecurities. Namjoon knows that he shouldnât, but he is adamant about changing that tonight, even if it makes him feel a myriad of things inside when you show multiple sides of you at once.Â
âItâs all right,â he cuts you off with a half smile, noticing how nervous you are getting about showing him your home.Â
As you move aside to start taking off your shoes and coat, Namjoon kicks his own shoes off and takes a quick glance around. Most of the lights are off, yet he can still see through the dim lighting to see what he needs to see.Â
Much like his own house, your place has an open space concept, where everything is visible from the foyer. He looks at the living room to his right, where the flat television hangs against the wall, surrounded by wooden shelves filled with books and trinkets and boxes filled with toys. To his left is the open kitchen, the room is slightly more spacious than his, and cleaner, with a hint of the scent coming from the last meal you cooked today still wafting through the air.Â
Truth be told, he doesnât mind at all about how the house looks like at the moment. He even thinks that your home feels comfy, more welcoming and lively than his own, which makes him feel good and warm inside as he steps onto the threshold of your home.Â
Still, right now, he has otherâmore importantâthings to pay close attention to. Â
Namjoon waits until you are done taking your coat off before approaching you.Â
He places an arm around your shoulders, hinting at his need to get closer. When you show no sign of pushing him away, he pulls you towards him gently, and you willingly lean into him until you are engulfed completely in his warmth, and he feels your soft body pressing against his hard muscles. He bends down and your lips meet each other, warm and welcoming as they mesh into a kiss.Â
For a split second, Namjoon can feel you hesitating. But then your arms come up to wrap around him before returning the kiss. It feels gentle and soft, yet Namjoon can feel every cell in his body lighting up at the touch, and he allows that hope he ignored before to rise as he melts into the kiss
Namjoon is a firm believer that a person can tell quite a lot about the other by the way they kiss, and that the first kiss will define how the night will continue.Â
He feels you parting your lips slowly as your fingers curl into fists, balling the back of his shirt. He can taste the fruity taste of your lip-gloss which you put on during your toilet break before the two of you left the bar, and he can also taste a hint of the drink you had as he lightly brushes the tip of his tongue against yours.Â
The simple contact earns a soft hum from your throat, and then you tip your head back and open your mouth, asking him for more. He gladly gives it to you as he slides one hand up your waist and cups your cheek, deepening the kiss. Your grip around him tightens when his tongue pushes past your lips, bringing heat all over your body and his as he devours your mouth, and you respond by pressing your hips into his.Â
Feeling like he is burning from within, Namjoon starts to pull away. But you are not having it. You move your hand to his face, and then bring him back down until his lips are back on yours. You take charge this time, kissing him as if your very existence depends on it, and Namjoon smiles into the kiss as he follows your lead. Â
Tonight is going to be a good night.
As your mind grows hazy from the heated kiss, you start stumbling back until you are pressed against the front door.Â
It rattles under your weight, and starts making other noises when Namjoon presses harder against you the deeper the kiss you share. You feel his feet moving, sliding between your legs, only to stop when his toes come in contact with one of Hanaâs squeaky toys that had somehow fallen in the foyer.Â
You break away from the kiss at the sound of his deep chuckle. The way he seems more amused than he is annoyed pleases you so that your body grows impossibly hotter. How can something so simple as a guy chuckling over a simple kid toy, completely understanding it instead of getting angry and complaining over something so trivialâjust like someone you once knew and wish so badly to forgetâlook so incredibly hot?Â
Expecting to hear him say something about it, you lift your face to look at him, only for Namjoon to bend lower again and try to kiss your lips. Bunching his shirt with your fingers, you stop him and start pushing him through the dark hall and into the kitchen, where you know there wonât be any trail of toys getting in the way.Â
Namjoon lets you drag him around with a grin on his face. It seems to please him that you are the one taking the initiative, showing him that you want him just as much as he does.Â
As you push him deeper into the kitchen, your hands tracing his hard chest and your lips nipping his jawline, you wonder where all of this confidence is coming from.Â
It could be coming from the buzz rushing through your mind and body. It could also be this want inside you which has been lying dormant for so long, awakened simply by the heat of his kiss. Either way, you are surprised to find how easy it is to simply give in. To follow what your heart desires as if it is guiding you through the motions.Â
While most of the lights have been turned off when you left your house earlier, the light from the microwave is on, casting a soft, golden glow which falls nicely on him, accentuating every lineâboth on his face and his bodyâwhich you desire so badly to touch and kiss and taste.Â
You pull him down for that desirable kiss, and he dives straight down, his lips crashing into yours. And then he starts kissing you fast, hard, as if his very existence depends on this kiss. You kiss him back with the same need, taking his lip between your teeth, drawing a soft sound coming out of his throat. His chest rumbles against yours as he gently pushes you backwards.Â
Namjoon pins you against the kitchen counter, placing you between the hard counter and his rock-hard chest. He moves his knees between your legs, keeping them apart. You can feel his cock straining against his jeans as he bucks his hips forward, pressing roughly into your stomach. Then he moves his mouth to your neck, kissing, sucking, making you moan, distracting you from the object of his desire that you want so badly to touch.
Without unlatching his lips from your skin, Namjoon sweeps his fingers across your collarbone, finding the strap from your top that is already hanging off your shoulder. He pulls away, his dark gaze following his fingers as he unhooks the other strap off your shoulder until your top falls down to your waist, exposing your lacy dark purple bra which you had intentionally chosen for the night.Â
He watches closely as your chest rises and falls with your ragged breath, murmuring softly, âBeautiful. You are so hot, baby.â
Your entire body shudders with the sound of his deep voice, recognising the hunger in it. Heat forms in your belly after knowing that his words are meant for you. He slowly walks his palms up your body, reaching up to cup your breasts with his strong palms.Â
A moan slips out of your lips at his touch, when the gentle pressure he is giving on your mounds sends heated sparks through your body. The sound you are making seems to snap something in him, as he moves his mouth back to yours, kissing you softly, teasing, while his thumbs begin to move over your covered nipples in small circles.Â
You draw a sharp inhale of breath at the delightful sensation he is making you feel, which is swallowed by his kiss. Your chest rises, pressing your breasts into his palms. The shiver running through your body feels so intense, blocking everything else as you push your tongue back into his mouth at the same time your hands slip under his shirt.Â
His skin feels warm. His chest feels firm and broad. You can feel his breath hitching at the touch of your fingers, his body shivering as your hands start inching closer and closer to his cock as you walk them down his torso.Â
It draws a deep groan from him, yet he keeps kissing you. He continues to caress your breasts until your nipples grow hard against his palms, and that is when he finally moves his hands down. You only get to pop the button of his jeans open before he catches your wrists, stopping you from going further as he brings them to your back, pinning them together to confine you.Â
You push and strain against his grasp, only to fail when his hold is firm. Surprisingly, being restrained in his hold and losing control is not making you feel powerless. Instead, it becomes a complete turn-on to have someone taking control of you that your body heats up with a stronger need for more.Â
Shocked at this revelation, you pull back with a gasp.Â
âLet me touch you,â you whine as you try to pull your hands out of his, drawing a deep chuckle from him.Â
âNot yet, baby,â he murmurs against your lips. âI want to see all of you first.â Â
He kisses you again, deep enough to make you arch your back so your hips are pressed into his. You widen your legs and he presses forward, his toned thigh pressing at your pulsing center. The sensation you feel as you begin rubbing your covered pussy over his thigh feels explosive, and it is driving you insane that you cannot touch him at the same time.Â
You feel him smiling in the kiss, clearly enjoying this; your desperation and need, and the way you are chasing for pleasure even under his restraint. He moves his mouth to your neck again, nipping at the skin. You try to twist your arm to set yourself free, but Namjoon lifts his head to stop you with a look.Â
âThese naughty hands need to stay back, baby. Do you hear me?â he asks as he guides your hands to rest against the small of your back, your wrists resting on the hard countertop pressing from behind you.Â
Your mouth falls open, but every complaint and defiance that you want to give him fades under his dark gaze. Pulling away, Namjoon grabs the hem of your top and pulls it over your head, dropping it behind him, before he once again guides your hands to return to their position on your back. He leans back just enough for him to run his gaze over your body, giving you an appreciative look while humming softly.Â
The heat of his gaze only brings back your insecurities, however, as you grow nervous under his trailing eyes, and you look away, casting a quick glance down your middle. Having two kids over the years has left a few things behind; light scars, stretch marks marring your skin, and uneven curves forming in places which you can only hide under your daily clothes. You realise only now one of the many reasons why you had never considered dating and being intimate again with someoneâanyoneâand much less have any interest in having hookups or one-night-stand.Â
Namjoon notices the change of mood in your silence. He captures your chin and gently draws your gaze back to his face. âDonât be shy,â he murmurs as he presses a light kiss on your lips, âYouâre so fucking beautiful.âÂ
You blink, once again his words winning as you feel your heart strengthening, gaining back your confidence. âYou really think so?â you ask him after taking an audible breath.Â
âGod, yes,â he says with a slight groan in his voice, drawing a soft giggle out of you. âDonât you ever question it, baby.âÂ
Biting down your smile, your eyes flutter down with pleasure and relief. âGood.âÂ
âNow, where were we?â he asks as he lets go of your chin, his arms dropping to his sides. He reaches down to unbutton your tight pants, yet you beat him to it when you take the hem of his shirt in your hands and help him pull it off, before tossing it away out of reach.Â
âNaughty girl. What did I say about those hands?â he asks, and then he is kissing you again to distract you from taking back control.Â
He wraps his arm around your waist. For a second, you expect him to lift you up and set you up on the counter. Just like those scenes you have often read in the spicy romance book you have edited over the years. But then he surprises you when he lifts you up to carry you away, taking you towards the dining table instead.Â
With your eyes fluttering close in the kiss, the only thing you notice is the sound of the chair scrapping on the floor, before he releases you and falls back. Your mind is hazy when you open your eyes, seeing him sitting back on the dining chair while guiding you to stand between his parted legs.Â
Swaying a little, you lean into his touch as he sneaks his fingers down the waistband of your tight pants and begins pulling them down. âLet me see these off, baby.âÂ
He doesnât have to say it twice, as you slip your thumbs down the band of your pants and begin wiggling it down your legs. You keep your eyes on him while kicking the pants away, ignoring the shudder running through your body at the heat of his gaze and the chill breeze falling on your exposed skin.Â
Sneaking a glance down your body, you follow his gaze to be able to see what he is seeing. You are relieved that you had at least thought of choosing a matching pair of new undergarments to wear tonight, instead of wearing your old mismatched ones like you usually do when you have to rush in the mornings.Â
Standing in front of him like this makes you feel self-conscious. But the desire that is so palpable in his eyes helps you ignore all unappealing thoughts you ever have about yourself.Â
Smiling coyly to him, you sweep your hands up your stomach, slowly reaching up over your breasts. His hands begin to clench on his side as he watches you kneading your covered breasts. You watch him licking his lips when you press your breasts until they come together, offering him with a gentle voice, âDo you like what youâre seeing? Do you want me to take this off too?âÂ
âNo, not yet. I want to enjoy seeing you like this a bit longer,â Namjoon answers you with a deep voice that sounds almost like a growl. âCome here.âÂ
At his gentle command, your legs move on their own, taking you closer to him. He grabs your waist, keeping you steady as you climb onto his lap, your legs spreading wide around his waist and your arms come around his broad shoulders.Â
Being in this position allows you to feel everything. To feel more.Â
Every part of him feels hard against your soft body. His warmth comes pressing on every inch of your skin, allowing you to feel the heat rushing under, pooling from between your legs. You feel exposed, and the sensation is intensified as you have your legs opened for him.Â
Smiling, Namjoon walks his hand around your waist. With his palm splayed on your back, he gently pushes you forward. Once again, you collide into each other, your breasts are crushed against his chest, and your lips are entangled with his in a hard, needy kiss.Â
His kiss is slow, gentle, almost languid. Almost as if he is trying to savour the moment, yet it feels as if you are melting into him. You can still feel him taking control of this moment when his lips are pressing hard against yours and his tongue slipping into your mouth to swallow the sounds you are making.Â
In the rising pleasure, your brain is slowly turning into mush. Your eyes flutter close, and you revel in the sensations that he is bringing to your body, to every single touch and kiss. You drown yourself in his heated kiss, as he swallows your moans with his mouth and tongue. You lean into his strong hands as one moves up your stomach, cupping your breast and rubbing against your hardened nipple, and the other moves along the curves of your body, trailing down your waist to your hips, before cupping your soft bottom.Â
His palm presses harder into your soft flesh, making you grow alert of your own movements, finally noticing that your body seems to have gained a mind of its own, moving and grinding his lap in the heat of the moment.Â
Your covered center starts growing hot and wet as you keep rubbing against his hips. A gasp escapes your throat as you feel his covered hard-on pressing at your pulsing center. Using his palm, Namjoon guides your steady rocking, each thrust forward falling in tune with each thrust and stroke of his tongue in your mouth.Â
Within moments, the heat inside your core rising into small waves of pleasure. Drunken in lust, you lean into him more to chase it, rocking harder, faster, pressing more into his hard cock until you feel like you are hanging on the edge of release.Â
âOh, God,â you gasp against his mouth, moments too close to your first orgasm.Â
Namjoon mutters a curse, and his hands tighten on the soft flesh of your bottom, putting everything into a halt. He flips you around to face away from him, doing it with such ease as if you weigh nothing. As you fall back against his chest, your knees drape over his thighs, spreading wide, your throbbing pussy facing away from his heat, away from the its final release.Â
âYou need relief, baby?â His voice sounds thick as he whispers to your ear. Without waiting for your answer, his fingers zero in on the exact place where you need them to be, as he begins rubbing your clit from over your delicate panties. âHmmm? I need you to answer me. Let me know what you want.âÂ
âYes,â you hiss at his touch, barely able to answer his question while urging him on as you rock your hips into his touch. Namjoonâs other hand moves up to cup your breast, kneading and squeezing until you feel your nipple growing hard under your bra. The ache building on your breasts pulses in the same rhythm as the throbbing you feel building on your clit, which he presses the pad of his fingers onto, moving them in circles.Â
âGod, Namjoon,â you whine, already panting when he keeps touching all the right places, inciting all the reactions from your body as heat rises from your core. Reaching down, you place your hand over his, your fingers pressing atop of his strong digits as you press against them, causing his touch to grow firm and steady, before you slip your fingers under and slide your panties aside for him.Â
Namjoonâs chest rumbles as he groans deeply. âOh, yeah, thatâs it, baby. Offer that sweet little pussy for me.âÂ
Your cheeks flush with warmth upon hearing his words, and then the warmth spreads through your body when his fingers move to touch your flesh. His fingers are big and strong, yet delicate at the same time. They glide over your slit, which has grown embarrassingly wet, capturing every essence of your arousal as he moves them between your folds. You press your pelvis down to meet his touch, urging him on, and he complies by working his middle finger inside you.Â
It feels like forever since the last time you have had sex, and it surely shows because you can already feel your orgasm building the second he starts pumping his finger inside you. The pleasure feels maddening. Enough to make you lose control of yourself as your body rocks with him. You donât even recognise the sounds coming out of your throat as you embrace the sensations he brings out of you.Â
As he feels you giving in to the pleasure, Namjoon adds a second finger, stretching you further.Â
Your head falls back on his shoulder as you cry out with pleasure. Your body falls lax against him, powerless against his touch. So he moves his other arm down, wrapping it around your waist to keep you from falling as he continues thrusting his fingers in and out, all while pressing the heel of his palm against your clit until you are weeping with desire. When he abruptly pulls his fingers out of you, your pussy clutches on emptiness.Â
Needing friction, or something to relief this new need of yours, you begin pressing your wet mound against his thigh, intending to start rubbing against it until you find some kind of release. But Namjoon stops you by delivering a sharp slap, right between your legs.Â
âNaughty,â he growls in your ear. âI thought this pussy is mine?âÂ
Your hips shoot up at the lingering ache, which awakens the throbbing inside your pussy, causing your mind to go fuzzy with the mixed of pain and pleasure he brings to your body.Â
Namjoon spanks your pussy again, lighter this time, before going slightly harder when coming back for the third time. Then, as if he knows that you are about to explode, he shoves two fingers right back inside you and starts fucking you with them, moving hard and rough, no longer holding back. It feels intense, sending you light speed towards the peak of your pleasure.Â
With a cry slipping out of your lips, your head falls back on his shoulder as the wave of pleasure engulfs you. Digging your nails into his forearms, you ride his fingers, bucking against each thrust of his hand, your walls clenching tightly around him, and your toes curling underneath. Your orgasm comes to you strongly, going on and on while Namjoon keeps his fingers wedged inside you, and you can feel your walls contracting around them as you come all over them.Â
Dear God, help me.Â
You find yourself praying. Never before had you ever lost control the way you do now. Never once have you ever felt so much pleasure, to make you feel something so intense that you feel like you are losing your mind.Â
Namjoon waits until you come down from your release before easing his fingers out of you. Your body grows limp against his, causing him to wrap his arms tighter around you to hold you still. His lips find your shoulder, pressing a gentle kiss while he smooths your panties back in place.Â
âThatâs it, sweet mama. Relax with me,â he murmurs in your ear, helping you calm down before rearranging your position until you come to face him once more, your legs straddling his toned thighs, pressing against his muscles, his warmth, and the rapid pounding of his heartbeat under your palms. Â
âEverything okay?âÂ
You are still too delirious that you can barely think straight, yet you manage to nod and whisper, âYeah. Everythingâs good.âÂ
Looking into his eyes, you reach down between your bodies and press your palm over his covered bulge. âBut Iâm not sure that youâre feeling the same.âÂ
Groaning deeply, Namjoonâs eyes flutter to close. You continue stroking his covered cock, feeling it hardening under your touch and pushing against his pants that is partly undone. âKeep touching me like that, mama. And Iâll fuck you right here, right now. Or Iâll take you right on top of that counter, right where youâll be making breakfast for your sweet girls the first morning theyâre home.âÂ
His threat draws a moan from deep within your throat. Biting your lips, you steal a glance towards the kitchen counter. As tempting as it sounds to follow your wanton desire, to be taken hard and rough right where you spend most of your days and mornings, you want something different. You donât want this to end so quickly, for the night to feel so instant, and you want to savour this pleasure for as long as you are allowed to. Â
âMmmâŠNo, we canât have that,â you whisper, turning to him to nip his jaw, making him groan. Carefully, you step back from his lap. Your legs are trembling when you try to stand on your own, yet you muster a smile as you calmly say, âCome.âÂ
You hold out your hand and he grabs it as he rises to his feet. He follows you down the hall and up the stairwell. Past the landing which is surrounded by framed pictures of yourself with your family and your sweet girls and their creative drawings filling the walls, you continue walking upstairs, feeling more self-conscious the closer you get to your bedroom.Â
Right before your nerves begin to get in the way, Namjoonâs arms come around you, holding you to his chest as you crash through the doorway to your bedroom. His lips capture yours, swallowing the sound of your laughter until you fall backwards on the bed.Â
Standing on the foot of the bed, Namjoon stands tall, a solid figure standing at the center of your world of chaos. He says nothing as he runs his gaze over your body, appreciating what he sees one last time which brings back your confidence. All for knowing that he is liking what he sees.Â
Drawn by the urge to touch him, to feel, you push yourself up and start tugging his pants down. âOffââ you murmur as you struggle to peel the damn thing off of him, earning his chuckle. Namjoon helps you halfway, stopping briefly to pull something out of his back pocket before he tosses his whole pants away. He wastes no more time to continue where he left off, as he pushes you back to the bed and lowers himself to you.Â
Your arms go around his shoulders to welcome him. Your eyes meet each other again, allowing you to see something that you failed to notice before. Behind his heated gaze, the warm dimple smile, and the alluring words filled with his raw desire, lies another emotion haunting like a shadow.Â
An emotion that you know too damn well as it mirrors your own.Â
Desperation.Â
Swallowing hard, you feel the same emotion coming out of you in strides; the desperation to belong and to be happy; to be able to move through life without being haunted by the unwarranted fear of getting hurt. The desperation to feel.Â
Allowing that emotion to take over, you pull him down to you and kiss him deeply. You run your hands down his back, pressing at his spine until he lowers his hips onto yours. You can feel his hard cock pressing on you, its wet tip sticking out from the top of his briefs, rubbing against your skin. You regret not having the chance to have a look at it, to appreciate it through more than your dainty touch. Yet you cannot deny the desperate need to feel him inside you, filling you up until there is nothing left of you when he is done.Â
Arching your back, you rock against him, pressing your tender center against his bulge. His mouth unlatches from yours, and then he pulls the lacy cups of your bra with a rough tug, tucking them under your breasts to push them up. He keeps his palms on them, touching them directly this time, skin to skin, bringing all the shudders back and rising twofolds as you cry out his name.Â
His mouth finds your neck, and the touch of his lips is almost enough to make you come and unravel right there and then, yet you manage to hold back with a bite of your lip. Without taking his mouth off of you, Namjoon runs his hand down, finding your center and pressing down. The pleasure sparks through your body like fireworks as he rubs in circles against your covered center, pressing against your slit, rubbing at your covered clit, and then finding your wetness to draw out more essence out of you.Â
Every nerve in your body comes awake and lights up at the same time, allowing you to feel everything that he is giving you. Engulfed in the pleasure, you barely feel him as Namjoon starts moving down, spreading his fingers down your thighs to part your legs for him, before plunging his head between your quivering thighs.Â
You feel a soft tug at your panties, and then cold breeze touches your skin as Namjoon slides the center of your panties aside, exposing your tender pussy. âI wanted to taste you so badly,â he murmurs against your skin as he presses his lips on the apex of your thigh, then he moves to the other side, before reaching to the center, drawing a sharp cry out of you when he presses a kiss right at your folds.Â
His tongue drags through your flesh before he sucks gently on your swollen bud. A shiver shoots right up through your body as pleasure sparks from beneath, and he starts fucking you with his tongue. In and out he presses and licks with his warm, soft tongue, tasting your essence with a deep hum, while his mouth keeps stealing a kiss and sucking, intensifying the pleasure.Â
With your hands sinking into the sheets beneath you, your hips begin to move, rocking against his mouth and riding the sensation as it grows more and more intense. You lift your head to watch him work. The look he gives you when he returns your gaze causes your body to twitch, your muscles tightening as pleasure coils through your core.Â
With a grin, Namjoon buries his face deeper, his teeth grazing at your clit before lapping at the swollen bud with his tongue to take away the pinch of pain. The sensation sends your body falling back. Still rocking your hips to ride the pleasure, you twist the sheets in one hand, and then take a handful of his short hair with the other.Â
It doesnât take long before the familiar wave of pleasure starts rolling through your body, rising intensely from the depth of your core. Your breath quickens as you are climaxing into his mouth. It comes so strongly that you can feel it rushing all the way down to your toes. A series of breathless moans come out of your lips at the same pace as the pulses of pleasure coming alight from inside as your orgasm rolls through your body.Â
Your head is ringing with the waves of your orgasm that you barely aware of how you are pulling at his hair, twisting the short strands in your grasp as you writhe beneath him. Yet he doesnât stop. Not even when he feels you slowly coming down from your high.Â
Namjoon continues to lap at your taste, licking away your release as he murmurs gently against your mound, âFuck, you taste so damn good, baby.âÂ
His voice fades in and out of you, until he slips a finger inside you, pressing against your inner walls. He pushes right in, curling the tip as he pulls out, finding the sweet spot that sends another jolt of pleasure through your body. Realising this, he adds another finger and starts working them at the same rhythm as the movement of his tongue. Your legs begin shaking, your hips are rising against his other palm that is resting on your lower belly to keep you down, but nothing holds you from erupting as the force of your second orgasm quickly rolls through you, sending you over the edge with a cry.Â
You feel a shift on the bed as Namjoon moves on top of you and presses his lips on yours. The remnants of your orgasm is still pulsing through you, and your ears are still ringing, that you can only take what he is giving you, letting him bring you back to the present with his kiss.Â
Once you manage to catch your breath, you bring your hands up to him and start pushing his briefs down his hips. He rises slightly from you, taking away his weight and his warmth as he kicks his briefs down his ankle and away. His hand reaches down, wrapping his fingers around his hard girth.Â
This time, you take the chance to appreciate his beauty. Just like his hard body, his cock seems beautiful, big and thick and heavy even in his strong palm.Â
With his eyes on your face, Namjoon begins lowering himself on you. Your hips rise to welcome him when you feel his cock falling heavy on your stomach. Your hand reaches down between you, as if you are under a spell. Your fingers wrap around him, drawing a soft gasp from his lips.Â
Licking your lips, you watch yourself giving him a few light strokes. He seems to enjoy this, as his hips slowly move to return each stroke, each brush of your palm with a thrust of his cock. Groaning deeply, Namjoon bends down to cover you with his hard body. His lips find your neck, kissing the column of your throat as his fingers return to your mounds, pressing into your slit and using the slickness of your arousal and release to move around your entrance.Â
âNamjoon, pleaseââ Your breath catches when you feel the tip of his finger pressing at your entrance, pushing against your sensitive walls. He enters you slowly with his fingers. It feels delightful, yet you are ready to feel more. âMhhhâŠnot enough,â you whine breathlessly, âI want youâŠinsideâŠnow.âÂ
He chuckles against your throat, and the vibrations you feel coming from his body arenât exactly helping to lessen the pool of desire between your legs, nor the tight clench of your walls around his fingers. He gives your pussy a few more thrusts of his fingers before he pulls them out, and reaches out to the other side of the bed.Â
The soft crinkle sound of a foil gets your heartbeat speeding up in your chest. Itâs happening, the voice in your head whispers. Excitement rolls through you, and a wicked through flashes through your head when you meet his gaze again.Â
You bite your lip and smile, and then you lift your hands, pushing against his shoulders to bring him down onto the mattress. You follow him as he falls back, and then you climb on top of him, enjoying the thrill rushing through you when you see the shock clearly flashing through his gaze.Â
He grips your hips as you straddle him, keeping you steady until you are sitting in the right position. So right that you can feel his hard cock pressing at your slick center from beneath.Â
âWell, damn,â he chuckles as he watches you press down your hips on him. âThatâs it. Take control, mama. Show me what you want from me.âÂ
You make a humming sound as you begin rocking over him, pressing down against his length. Your panties have grown completely soiled, placed improperly over your mound that you can feel him partly rubbing against your skin. âYou know what I want,â you whisper, moaning when you feel his girth rubbing at your clit.Â
Hoping to feel more, you continue rocking, rubbing your center along the length of his cock. But it isnât enough. The panties keep getting in the way just when you are close to getting what you want. You reach down to begin peeling the damn thing off of you when Namjoon takes over.Â
âLet me help you with that,â he says, before he suddenly lifts himself up to a sitting position. His hands are quick to catch your waist to stop you from falling back, keeping you on his lap as he moves his hand to your back.
His eyes look down on your heaving chest, and then his hands are pulling at your undergarments. Starting from your bra, as he expertly peels it off of you within a blink of an eye, then continuing to reach down. The ripping sound of your panties as they fall apart fills the room before you can feel yourself being freed from its presence. The strong pull that he gives on the flimsy fabric barely feels like anything on your skin, your mind too muddled to process it until it is too late.Â
The moment it dawns on you what is happening, there is nothing else that you can do but to watch with wide eyes, mouth gaping in shock, as Namjoon lifts your ruined panties to his lips and breathes in.
âYou wonât be needing them for a while,â he says with a hum at the sound of your sharp inhale of breath. Â
âYouâre so bad.â An incredulous laugh comes out of you as he tosses the tattered panties away.Â
His hands return to your waist then and he pulls you closer, settling you down nicely on his lap as he asks, âMaybe I am. Are you going to punish me for being a bad boy?âÂ
âMaybe I will,â you tease him as you run your fingers up his chest, pushing him back down. âNaughty boy.âÂ
The glimmer of the foil he is holding between his fingers catches your attention. You pick it up, ripping the foil and letting the rubber fall on your palm. âIs this okay?âÂ
He nods, and then his eyes darken as you gently slide the condom down the length of his cock. Your can feel him twitching under your touch, his head falling back briefly with a groan coming out of his throat when the tips of your fingers meet his skin. Once he is perfectly covered, you move back into position.Â
Namjoon gently guides you back over him, straddling him once again without anything else getting in the way this time.Â
You lean forward and place a kiss on his lips, one that feels a bit too sweet and shy. For a moment, your confidence wanes. Being on top of him, unrestrained, and being in complete control makes you feel subconscious with yourself. It makes you feel insecure, suddenly feeling worried that you might not be enough.Â
As you sit up, your pussy rocks against his cock. You can feel his girth pressing against the dampness which has been growing between your legs, the heat of his body radiates from him and it transfers through your body with each pulse of his blood that you feel against you.Â
His fingers find their place between your legs, rubbing your clit in slow circles, drawing moans after moans, shudders rolling through your body that you begin moving in response to his touch. Your hips buck up against his hand, desperate for friction. You continue rolling your body as he presses just a bit harder, drawing yet another moan from your lips that comes together with the intense shiver surging from your core.Â
Enjoying the way you are reacting to him, he rises up to steal a kiss, chuckling softly against your mouth when he feels the twitch of your hips when his cock is pressing harder against your folds. He pulls back, showing you his wicked grin that has your heart beating rapidly.Â
You lift your hips, and he reaches down to position his cock against your opening. Your body instantly trembles when you feel him nudging against your pussy, spreading your entrance to allow himself in. Then you begin to slide down on him, taking it slow as you take his cock inside you, inch by delicious inch. Your legs quiver around him as you feel him spreading your tight walls, yet you welcome him with a slow moan, allowing yourself to take him deeper as you continue going down, until he is almost fully inside you and you are nearly resting on his hips.Â
A pulse rocks through you once, and you carefully lift yourself up, sliding up his length and coming back down, getting deeper in your descent.Â
âYou are so perfect,â he whispers to you as you continue riding his cock, keeping a slow pace as you adjust yourself to his size.Â
Namjoon falls back, letting you take control. Something that no other person has ever done before. He keeps his eyes on you as you continue moving on top of him, sliding up and down the length of his cock, while embracing the waves of pleasure that you get to feel from your constant rocking. His eyes are filled with admiration as he watches you move, your head falling back at the height of your pleasure, your chest arching, showing him the sight of your shaking breasts.Â
âYou are so fucking hot,â he moans, taking your breasts in his hands. You relish every single sensation you are feeling with a moan. It feels incredible. Not just thisâthe sex, the feeling of him being buried inside your heat, filling you up and giving you pleasureâbut also for feeling like you are free.Â
Sitting naked on top of such a gorgeous man, rocking up and down his cock, enjoying the pleasure without your nerves getting in the way, your insecurities left forgotten. It feels so damn empowering to be owning up to your sexuality, to your wanton desire, after having it denied for so long. All because of your haunting past making you feel like you are less than the person you are now.Â
These thoughts push you to ride him harder, faster, your fingers sinking into the sheets on either side of him to anchor you against him, while his fingers grow tighter on your hips to help you ride him to chase your pleasure.Â
âThatâs it, baby,â he urges you on with a breathy voice, deep groans slipping out of him when you begin fucking him wildly. âGo on, let it go, mama.âÂ
Holding you up against him, Namjoon begins rocking his hips, thrusting up to meet you in your descend. The maddening pleasure rocks through you, and another wave of climax sets off, coiling from your core, up to your lower belly. And right as you are ready to plunge into your climax, Namjoon bends forward, capturing one of your nipples with his mouth and begins sucking, while he reaches up to pinch the other with his fingers.Â
With a sharp cry, you unravel completely without fail. Your orgasm comes to you not in waves but an explosion, the pain only intensifies the pleasure as it hits, and your body trembles as you embrace it.Â
Everything fades in and out as your mind and body recovers from the intense high. Your legs are quivering too much that you fall onto his chest, and Namjoon carefully flips you to the side until you are on your back. Ears once again ringing, the sounds of him moving on the sheets seem so distant. But you can feel the dip when he lowers himself on you, his lips finding yours, bringing you back, and then pressing against your neck to quiet down the rapid pulsing of blood surging under your skin.Â
Once your mind regains clarity, you notice his hand moving. You open your eyes when you cannot feel his touch, and realise that he is giving himself some lazy strokes. âYou havenât gotten yours,â you whisper with a raspy voice, and his grin returns.Â
âYouâve already came too many times, soââÂ
Shaking your head, you reach up and pull him back to you. âI canât be the only one feeling good tonight,â you insist as you capture his lips, enticing him with a light bite. As he returns the kiss, your legs spread open for him, welcoming him back to you. âI want to make you feel good too.âÂ
Groaning, Namjoon deepens the kiss. Still stroking himself, he uses the other hand to gently touch your tender pussy, making sure that you wonât hurt if he continues. âAre you sure?â he murmurs against your lips, before feeling you nod.Â
Unable to wait long, he quickly gets between your legs again. He covers you with his heat, his toned chest pressing down against your body, delightfully engulfing you with his warmth. Then his hips rock forward, pressing the wet tip of his stiff cock against your pulsing heat. Your back arches the moment you feel him pushing, just enough until you feel the tip penetrating your entrance.
âNamjoonââ you gasp out his name, and his hands come down to your hips, holding you still as he enters you, thrusting deep and slow.Â
Your legs are spread wider, giving him room to get as deep as he possibly can until your hips are flushed against each other.Â
Fuck yes, you can hear yourself screaming in your head, while your mouth gapes open with a breathless moan at how full you are feeling with him snugged inside your pussy.Â
âGod, fuckâyou feel amazing,â he breathes out as he too becomes still.Â
Your body clenches around his cock at hearing his words, loving how his praise is stroking at your ego. It seems that your body has gotten used to him so well that he feels like a perfect fit inside you.Â
âYou donât feel too bad yourself,â you playfully tease him, making him groan deeply that you can feel his entire body vibrating all the way to your core.Â
âNot bad, huh?â he groans, almost sounding feral when he continues his gentle rocking. âGuess Iâll have to stop holding back, then.âÂ
With a groan, he pulls back almost all the way out and thrusts back into you, rocking both of you against the mattress as he fucks you into it. You grab tightly on the messy sheets beneath you, already tangled by the previous rocking and fucking and growing even messier now that he is picking up pace immediately. It feels intense, making you feel delirious as he moves in and out of you rapidly. And it feels so damn good that you just donât want it to stop.Â
âOh, baby...so perfect,â he gasps, and you open your eyes to see his eyes glazing over with pleasure as he gets lost in your body.Â
It turns you on so badly to see a man unraveling this wayâto be so lost in his pleasure and growing feral as he gives in completely to the sensation. At the same time, it makes you feel powerful, knowing that you are the one making him this way. For someone like him to let his guard down and show you the real part of him. To let you see how raw and passionate he becomes when he is bringing pleasure to both of your bodies.Â
It makes you feel so hot, and it feels so good, that it practically sends you straight into your final climax. To unravel the same way he does at the pleasure of his lovemaking.Â
âKeep tightening around me like that, and I wonât last long,â he warns you, while you can only hold back a grin. As if you will take his words like you would to a threat.Â
You run your hands up his chest, feeling up his toned muscles as they strain with each thrust he is giving you, before you reach up to the back of his neck and grab a handful of his short hair. A smile grows on your face when he lets out another groan, and his hips nearly buckle and twitch as his rocking begins to grow haste.Â
Heâs close.Â
âOh, fuck. Iâm coming,â he groans, although it almost sounds like he is shouting.
âYes, please. Come with me. Iâm also there,â you whimper breathlessly when your orgasm starts to build.Â
His grip on your hips tightens as he begins pumping into you fast and hard, hitting all the right spots. You almost believe that he is also growing firmer, harder, bigger, that the only thing you can feel is him, rubbing against your throbbing walls and pushing you over the edge.Â
A scream slips out of you when the orgasm hits like a massive wave. Your back is almost lifted completely off the bed as your entire body vibrates with pleasure. You can hear him shouting under the sound of your rapid heartbeat, before you feel him pulsing, spilling his heat into you as he joins you in his own orgasm.Â
Your legs are wrapped around his hips while your arms are hooked around his neck as you hold onto him, refusing to let go as you relish the waves of your orgasm until they begin to settle. You have barely gotten back control of your breathing when he leans down, capturing your lips into a kiss.Â
The kiss is slow, almost languid, and just as gentle as the movement of his hands as he runs them down your sweaty body. You can still the spasms of your climax lingering as he slowly pulls out of you, allowing you to feel his presence even as he pulls away, dropping right beside you with a soft grunt.Â
Your eyes are already fluttering to close while he takes his time taking care of his soiled condom and tossing it away to the trash. Yet you are still coherent when he returns, engulfing you in his strong arms, filling your breath with his scent.Â
âThat was fucking amazing,â he mumbles against your skin as you feel his lips pressing on your bare shoulder.Â
âHmmâŠyes, it wasâŠâÂ
A sigh leaves your lips. The content feeling weaving through your body steals the words that you want so badly to say.Â
Incredible. Astounding.Â
âMagical,â you find yourself whispering, drawing a soft chuckle from him.Â
You look at him through your hazy eyes, finding him looking back at you with a different shadow lingering in his gaze which makes you want to say the words that you never expected you would say to him.Â
Stay the night.Â
The words die on your tongue as sleep is slowly dragging you down. You try to fight it, even if you arenât quite sure about saying those words out loud. You have no idea what will come out of this. All you can think about is that you donât want this to end too soon.Â
âThe girls are out all weekend, arenât they?â His voice breaks the silence, forcing you to open your eyes.Â
âYes, theyâre staying at their grandparents. I wonât have to pick them up until Monday afternoon,â you breathlessly answer, recalling faintly how your mother had offered to take Suzy to school and Hana to kindergarten so you wouldnât have to drive all the way to her house on a Sunday, expecting you to sleep through your hangover and spend the day resting. âWhy are you asking?âÂ
âI just wasnât sure how they would react coming home to find a grown-ass man snuggling with their mom.â He softly chuckles, and in a brief moment of silence, you see a different look appearing in his eyes. A part of him that seems more vulnerable coming out of him in waves, right before he asks you, âUnless you want me out of here?âÂ
Once again, you can see yourself in his gaze. To once again share the same emotions, the same vulnerability which feels too damn familiar. Deep down, you start wishing that you didnât see it. Because seeing this side of him only makes you care a lot more than you should for someone who is only supposed to be your one-night-stand. Because seeing it only makes you want more.Â
You close your eyes and try not to think too deeply about it. Not when your mind is still muddled from the wild sex you just had with him. And when his touch is still lingering on your skin.Â
You can worry about this tomorrow, you hear the same small voice in your head whispering, and you decide that you are going to listen this time.Â
Pushing yourself up, you pull the blanket from the foot of the bed and drag it up to cover both of your nakedness before sliding back to him. âNope, youâre staying,â you firmly say as you tuck him in. âI promised to make you dinner, but I really donât have any energy left to leave the bed right now, so you can make it up by helping me make breakfast tomorrow.âÂ
Namjoon laughs. He visibly relaxes beside you when he mutters, âI love it when you boss me around.âÂ
You stop to look at him, biting your lips before asking, âWould you mind if I keep doing that?âÂ
His smile softens, and the alluring dimple returns for a brief second as he leans in to kiss your temple. âBoss me around anytime, mama. Iâll be good. I promise.âÂ
Authorâs Note 2.0 | Thank you for reading. If you enjoyed this story, please leave a like and reblog to share with your friends and let me know what you think. See you in the next one! PS. You can get to know Jin the bartender and read his story in Blurred Lines. Update | you can read more in the short story: Dinner with Mista Joonie
â ©Yoonia, all rights reserved. reposting/modifying of any kind, translations, unsanctioned adaptations are not allowed.
#namjoon scenarios#namjoon smut#k-vanity#bangtanwhq#namjoon fanfic#namjoon scenario#namjoon angst#namjoon fluff#namjoon x reader#bts fanfic#bts scenario#bts smut#bts angst#bts fluff#bts x reader
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Deep Dive (m) | knj
Youâve been searching for gemstones deep on the seabedâ having found a broken piece of blue aquamarine. Searching for the missing piece and your new rival, you find it and much more with the blue tailed merman Namjoon while on a quest for crystals.
â Pairing: namjoon x reader (female) â AUs: mermaid!au, fantasy!au, magical!au, soulmate!au â Trope: strangers to lovers â Genres: fluff, smut, angst + a very small sprinkle of comedy â Rating: mature/explicit/R18 (this is mature/explicit content, so minors, please do not interact.) â Word count: 19.8k â Warnings (general) + triggers: not much, honestly itâs all very very fluffy, lovey dovey and cute (youâll probably get a cavity). Thereâs also a lot more lore and worldbuilding in this one compared to the others, as this is the first time weâre properly introduced to the seacityđ§Itâs also rather existential and philosophical. â Warnings (explicit): unprotected sex (please be safe), oral (male and female), multiple orgasms, dirty talk, love making, kissing, breast play (licking, sucking, biting), handjob, fingering, clit play, hair pulling, creampie, very brief cockwarming. â Read on AO3? [link] â Authorâs note(1): I really donât know what happened when writing this one; my fingers totally slipped and most of this is just world building đ«Ł At least I had a shit ton of fun writing it! I tried to make the smut a bit different than I normally do, because I just feel like what I write is getting very repetitive⊠So I tried changing the pace of it a bit, but I don't know if it worked or not. Anyway, I really hope you like this one too, and I managed to finish it before Namjoonâs birthday, which means Iâll release it on that day đ„ł Please do let me know what, and if you liked it, and if youâre excited for the rest of the mermaid stories âš
[s.masterlist] â this is part of a collection of series that are stand-alone one-shots, but all of them are set in the same universe. They are slightly connected though đ€
The boat sways gently with the rhythm of the waves, each crest and trough sending a flutter through your stomach, a tantalizing whisper of the adventure awaiting below. The sea has always been your muse, its vast, enigmatic depths a sanctuary where youâve carved out your own livelihood. As a freelance scuba diver, you descend into the oceanâs embrace, hunting for hidden treasuresâcrystals and gems, and occasionally, the rarest of finds. These treasures are not just artifacts; they are fragments of the earthâs ancient soul, preserved in the watery depths.
Hae, your best friend and partner in this aquatic quest, stands beside you, her hands steady as she helps you prepare for the dive. She runs a holistic and spiritual webshop called Soulful, a name that seems to capture the essence of her beingâa blend of spirituality, sustainability, and an eye for the aesthetically divine. The gems and crystals you unearth find their way into her shop, where they are revered not just for their beauty, but for the energy they carry. The world has turned its gaze towards the mystical these days, and her shop has become a beacon for those seeking solace and healing in the arms of nature.
With your wetsuit snug against your skin, fins secured, and the weight of the oxygen tanks settling on your back, you feel the familiar thrill course through you. Hae hands you your goggles with a smile, and before placing the mouthpiece between your lips, you flash her a grin. âSee you soon,â you say, voice laced with excitement. The small tool bagâyour fanny pack of excavation toolsârests comfortably at your side, ready to assist in your quest for natureâs buried wonders.
You take a deep breath and plunge into the ocean, the water swallowing you with a resonant splash. As you breach the surface, your arms stretch forward, parting the water with a smooth, practiced motion. The ocean welcomes you, wrapping you in its cool, serene embrace. Here, beneath the waves, you are home, surrounded by the vibrant tapestry of sea life. Jellyfish drift by, their tendrils trailing like delicate threads of silk, while schools of tiny fish scatter at your approach, shimmering in the filtered sunlight that dances through the water. Deeper you dive, into the world where time slows, and the ocean whispers secrets long forgotten by the surface. The seafloor is a hidden gallery of natureâs artistry, where crystals and gems lie in wait, forged over eons by the earthâs elemental forces. Each one tells a storyâof undersea volcanoes, tectonic pressures, and the alchemical dance of minerals. Hae often speaks of these gems as if they are living beings, infused with the spirit of the ocean itself, each one a relic of the deepâs quiet, patient creation.
You smile to yourself, recalling her poetic musings, almost as if you were reading straight from her website. But you know the truth behind the beautyâthese crystals, formed through evaporation, precipitation, and the intricate dance of minerals, are more than just pretty stones. They are pieces of the earthâs heart, shaped by the hands of time and natureâs immense power. Sodium, magnesium, calcium, potassiumâtheir chemical symphony plays out in each crystal, each gem a unique testament to the forces that birthed it.
To you, they are not just beautifulâthey are a testament to the majesty of the natural world, a tangible link to the planetâs deep, unspoken history. Haeâs customers, too, are drawn to this connection, to the knowledge that each crystal was not mined en masse, but discovered and unearthed by your hands alone. This makes each piece not only ethically sourced but also one-of-a-kind, carrying with it a story that can never be replicated. And then, thereâs the healing. The myriad of spiritual properties attributed to these gems opens another world entirely, one that you and Hae have only begun to explore. Itâs a world where science and spirituality entwine, where the physical and the metaphysical dance in harmony. But for now, as you dive deeper into the oceanâs embrace, youâre content to simply marvel at natureâs handiwork, knowing that whatever treasures you find will carry a piece of this underwater realm back to the surface.
A glint catches your eye in the distance, a shimmer that pulls you deeper into the oceanâs embrace. Youâve lost track of how far youâve divedâperhaps just a few meters, or maybe more. Time seems to stretch and compress down here, as fluid as the water around you. A quick glance at your watch reveals that only ten minutes have passed, but you know you must be mindful of the oxygen left in your tank. Still, the oceanâs siren call urges you onward, tempting you with secrets yet to be unveiled.
Something blue sparkles ahead, its brilliance cutting through the murky depths, and you find yourself drawn to it like a moth to a flame. Your body moves with the fluidity of the water, each motion a dance of instinct and harmony. Down here, youâre not just an explorerâyouâre a part of the ocean itself, swaying gently in time with the currents. The source of the light reveals itself as you approach a small rock formation, where gems of varying shades of blue glisten like forgotten stars scattered across the ocean floor. Aquamarine, calcite, and amazoniteâHaeâs voice echoes in your mind, recalling the knowledge sheâs shared with you. Aquamarine, the âSea Water Stone,â born from the cooling magma of the earthâs depths, its color an echo of the oceanâs own hues. Itâs a stone that calms the mind, eases stress, and sharpens communication, a talisman of courage and clarity. Blue calcite, a crystal forged from calcium, carbon, and oxygen, soothes like a lullaby, its gentle presence calming nerves and quieting anxieties. It also opens the mindâs eye, enhancing intuition and inner vision. And then thereâs amazonite, a gem youâve always favored. Its cool blue-green tones speak to your soul, a âStone of Courageâ that promotes truth, honor, and positive communication. It balances the masculine and feminine energies within, weaving harmony into the fabric of life. You reach out, your fingers brushing the rough texture of the rock, marveling at the beauty before you.
Carefully, you pull out your toolsâa smooth flat file and a soft silicone hammerâand begin to work. The gems yield to your skillful hands, and soon, youâve gathered a small collection of aquamarine, blue calcite, and amazonite, each piece a perfect reflection of the oceanâs quiet majesty. You tuck them safely into your bag, their weight a comforting presence at your side.
But the ocean isnât done with you yet. You swim further, your eyes scanning the seabed where kelp and other sea plants sway like ethereal dancers. A small cave catches your attention, its entrance barely large enough to accommodate you, but youâre compelled to explore. You squeeze through the narrow opening, and the sight that greets you steals your breath away.
Before you lies a treasure trove of green crystals, their surfaces shimmering like serpent scales. SerpentineâHae has spoken of this gem, formed deep within the Earthâs mantle by the transformation of silicate minerals through water. This is your first time finding it, and you canât help but marvel at its beauty, the green hues reminiscent of a forest hidden beneath the waves. You run your fingers over the rough surface, feeling the ancient energy thrumming within the stone. Carefully, you chip away a few pieces, their weight adding to the growing collection in your bag.
But the bag is heavy now, laden with the oceanâs gifts, and a glance at your watch tells you itâs time to return. With a reluctant sigh, you leave the cave behind, swimming back toward the surface, your heart still lingering in the depths. As you break through the water, the sunlight dazzles your eyes, and Hae is there, her hands reaching out to help you back onto the boat. The weight of your gear is a burden youâre glad to shed, and you push the bag toward her, eager to share your discoveries.
âWow!â she exclaims, her eyes wide with wonder as she sifts through the gems. âYou really found a lotâand serpentine? Youâve never found that before. My customers are going to be over the moon!â
Her excitement is infectious, and you canât help but smile. âThat makes it all worth it,â you say, pulling off your hydro fin shoes with a satisfied sigh. âBut Iâm keeping one piece of serpentine for myselfâitâs too beautiful to part with.â
Hae nods, still mesmerized by the treasures youâve brought to the surface. The joy in her eyes is a reflection of your own, and you feel a deep contentment settle over you. The ocean has shared its secrets with you once again, and as you breathe in the fresh air, you know that the bond you share with the sea is stronger than ever.
You sail home under the setting sun, the oceanâs breeze carrying with it the scent of salt and adventure. The rhythmic lapping of the waves against the boat lulls you into a state of serene satisfaction. Back on land, you join Hae in her cozy apartment, where the warmth of the evening light filters through the windows. Her small photo studio, a creative sanctuary tucked into a corner, is ready for the treasures youâve unearthed. Together, you arrange the crystals with care, each one glistening like a piece of the oceanâs soul captured in stone. The camera clicks, preserving the gemsâ beauty for the world to see, as Haeâs artistic eye transforms them into visions of wonder. The process is swift but meaningful, a quiet ritual that binds your shared passions. Soon, the crystals will grace her webshop, ready to bring a touch of the seaâs magic to those who seek it.
âThis collection is huge, Namjoon,â Hoseok remarks with a warm smile, his gaze sweeping over the shimmering array of gems that adorn the older mermanâs room. âThereâs so much history embedded in these walls,â he adds, pointing to the meticulously arranged stones, and Namjoon feels a flush of pride rise to his cheeks. Heâs poured countless hours into curating this collection, each gemâsome calcite, larimar, jasper, peridotite, amazonite, and serpentineâbearing the weight of time and the oceanâs secrets.
Yoongi casts a sidelong glance at Namjoon and his prized collection, murmuring with a wry grin, âItâs impressive... but also incredibly dorky.â
Hoseok bursts into laughter, his joy so radiant that for a moment, Namjoon thinks they donât need the sun in their underwater worldâHoseokâs light is enough to illuminate the depths.
âIâm not a dork,â Namjoon protests, crossing his arms over his bare torso in an attempt to feign indignation, but his stern expression does little to sway the younger mermen. Their laughter echoes through the water, a melody of friendship that only strengthens the bond between them.
âNerd, then,â Hoseok offers through another burst of laughter, his voice rippling through the water like bubbles rising to the surface. Yoongi, ever the skeptic, merely rolls his eyes, already weary of the conversation. Namjoon can sense that Yoongiâs thoughts have drifted elsewhereâlikely back to his bed, where he longs to sleep away the rest of the day. But Namjoonâs heart beats with a different rhythm, one that craves adventure. He usually embarks on treasure swims with his friend Soo-ah, but sheâs preoccupied with her fiancĂ©, Seokjin, as they prepare for their upcoming wedding.
Namjoon casts a glance at his friends, hoping theyâll soon take their leave so he can slip away into the inviting embrace of the sea. The room feels too small for his restless spirit, and the ocean beyond the walls calls to him like a sirenâs song. He had initially invited them over for their monthly book club, but the gathering has devolved into something else entirelyâHoseok couldnât stop laughing at the protagonistâs ridiculous misadventures, and Yoongi, true to form, had forgotten to read the book altogether. The story, plucked from the land above, strikes Hoseok as particularly odd and amusing, especially since heâs never set foot on land himself.
âBook clubâs over, right?â Yoongi asks with a resigned sigh, his voice heavy with fatigue, as if the very mention of reading has drained him further.
âYeah, but do try to read the next book for next month,â Namjoon chides gently, though he knows his words will likely fall on deaf ears. Yoongi merely shrugs, not even bothering to pick up the worn book as he drifts toward the door. Namjoon watches them go, rolling his eyes as Hoseok flashes him a soft smile and a thumbs-up before they swim off to their respective homes.
As their laughter fades into the distance, Namjoon finally feels the freedom to pursue the adventure that has been stirring within him all day. The sea awaits, vast and full of mysteries, and he is eager to explore its depths once more.
Namjoon exhales a deep sigh, the weight of his thoughts momentarily heavy, but he renews his energy by nibbling on some fresh kelp. The taste is crisp and briny, filling him with the vitality he needs for the journey ahead. With a determined glint in his eye, he slings his backpack over his shoulder and sets off on his adventure. The sea has always been his home, its vast expanse a comforting embrace. His parents, both scholars dedicated to preserving the rich history of their underwater city, have instilled in him a love for the past. But while they focus on teaching the young minds of the city, Namjoonâs heart has always been drawn to the secrets hidden within the earthâgems and stones that hold their own silent histories.
He propels himself forward, his baby blue tail cutting through the water with graceful precision. As he gathers speed, the fish scatter in a dazzling display, their scales catching the light as they dart away. The underwater world rushes past in a vibrant blur of color, until something shimmering in the distance catches his eye.
Ahead, perched on a rock formation, are gleaming clusters of calcite and aquamarine, their surfaces dancing with the light that filters through the water. The sunâs rays, fractured by the waves above, cast a spectrum of blues across the gems, making them shimmer like the sky at twilight. Namjoonâs breath catches in his throat, as it always does when faced with such natural beauty. Each gem is a masterpiece of time and pressure, a testament to the earthâs patient artistry. He reaches out, reverently running his fingers over the cool, smooth surfaces, feeling the ancient energy thrumming within them.
He pulls out his tools, careful not to disturb the surrounding environment, and begins to collect a few of the precious stones. As he works, he remembers Soo-ah and selects a particularly radiant piece to bring back to her, a token of their shared love for the oceanâs treasures.
But his heart skips a beat when he notices something unsettlingâmany of the gems have already been harvested, leaving only a few scattered remnants behind. A frown creases his brow as he wonders who could have beaten him to this spot. None of his friends share his passion for collecting gems. Sure, Taehyung enjoys gathering trinkets and curiosities, but stones have never been his interest. The thought of another collector in these waters feels strangely alien, a mystery that tugs at the edges of his mind.
Who else, he wonders, could be drawn to these underwater treasures with the same fervor that drives him?
You find yourself submerged once more, the embrace of the ocean welcoming you into its depths as you embark on yet another treasure hunt, eager to unearth new crystals. Your path leads you back to the familiar cave where you previously discovered the serpentine and calcite, their beauty still vivid in your memory. Yet, something feels different this timeâthere are fewer crystals adorning the rock formation and scattered across the seabed. The oceanâs depths, a canvas for natureâs exquisite artistry, have always been a sanctuary for the many fascinating crystals that dwell there. But youâve never encountered another diver who collects them as passionately as you do. The realization leaves you momentarily puzzled, until a flicker of purple catches your eye in the distance.
Intrigued, you glide through the water with graceful urgency, approaching the new discovery. As you draw closer, you recognize the delicate gray and rose-hued crystals as lepidolite, known for its ability to enhance astral travel and lucid dreaming. Youâve rarely come across these gems in your dives, and even now, only a few precious stones cling to the rock formation. Carefully, you retrieve your tools and begin to collect the lepidolite, tucking each piece into your bag with a sense of reverence.
Continuing along the seabed, you pass by schools of vibrant fish, their colors a blur of life around you, until something extraordinary catches your attentionâmassive aquamarine crystals, far larger than any youâve ever seen before. They seem to pulse with a quiet energy, drawing you in with their mesmerizing blue hue. As you approach with a gentle hand, you feel an inexplicable connection to the gems, as if they are whispering tales of the oceanâs mysteries and the magnificence of the world beneath the waves.
Gingerly, you touch the aquamarines, and a surge of calm washes over you, a tranquility deeper than anything youâve ever experienced. The sensation is strange, yet profoundly soothing, as if the ocean itself is sharing its serenity with you.Â
Taking your time, you inspect the crystals, standing tall on a rocky pedestal surrounded by pink sea bushes and kelp that sways in the waterâs current. A few curious fish glide by as you carefully chip away at the base of the crystal, hoping to extract a substantial piece. When you finally succeed, you notice something peculiarâthe crystalâs twin, the piece that once stood beside it, is missing. The jagged edge where it was removed is unmistakable. The question lingers in your mind, unsettling and persistent: Who has taken the other piece?
As you wonder who else might be drawn to the allure of these hidden gems, your hands continue their careful work, collecting a few more of the larger pieces, along with several smaller ones. You know that the smaller stones, though modest in size, still carry the same potent energy as their grander counterparts, and some people cherish them all the more for their delicate beauty. Each crystal, whether large or small, holds within it the oceanâs quiet wisdom, waiting to be shared.
Gently, you tuck the treasures into your bag, the weight of them a comforting reminder of the seaâs generosity. With a final, lingering glance at the shimmering aquamarines, you propel yourself upward, your body moving effortlessly through the waterâs embrace. As you break through the surface, the world above greets you with a rush of air and sunlight. Hae is there, her arms open wide, her smile as warm as the sun. She helps you back into the boat, her touch gentle and reassuring, as if she understands the wonders youâve just encountered below.
Once youâre back in the boat, the weight of your gear feels heavier than ever as you remove it, but your heart is light with the excitement of your discoveries. You eagerly reveal your treasures to Hae, each crystal glinting in the sunlight as you lay them before her. With a grin, you hold up the largest aquamarine, its cool blue depths mirroring the ocean below. âThis oneâs mine,â you declare, the gem feeling like a piece of the sea itself in your hand. But then your tone grows more serious as you add, âI think thereâs another diver out there collecting gems. So many were missing from the formation.â
Haeâs eyes widen, her smile fading into a look of concern. You can almost see the wheels turning in her mind, already strategizing, perhaps even considering whether itâs time to move to a new, more secluded spot. The thought of competition makes her uneasy, her gaze drifting over the precious stones as if they might vanish any moment.
Sensing her anxiety, you place a reassuring hand on her shoulder. âDonât worry,â you say with quiet confidence. âIâll dig around, find out who it is. Weâve come too far to let this unsettle us.â Your words are meant to calm her, to remind her that together, youâve weathered challenges before. After all, her webshop, with its unique blend of spirituality and sustainability, has always stood out in a sea of imitators.
Hae exhales softly, her tension easing as she meets your gaze. âOkay, thank you,â she murmurs, her hands gently gathering the remaining crystals, leaving you with your cherished aquamarine. The stone gleams in your palm, a symbol of the bond between you and the sea, and now, a silent vow to protect what youâve both worked so hard to build.
The pull of the ocean is undeniable, a quiet voice in the depths of your soul that beckons you toward the gem, as if it carries the very essence of the sea within its crystalline heart. You know instantly that this piece belongs by your side, a reminder of the oceanâs mysteries and your bond with its vast, hidden world. The sun dips below the horizon, casting a warm glow over the water as you sail back to shore, the quiet lapping of waves a soothing lullaby.
Returning to your apartment, you flick on the light, the familiar space bathed in a soft glow as you carefully place your ocean gift on the nightstand beside your bed. The gem catches the light, its surface shimmering like the sea at dawn. With a contented sigh, you brush your teeth, the routine grounding you after the dayâs adventure. But as you lay in bed, your mind drifts back to the ocean, and sleep comes quickly, filled with dreams of underwater realms and the treasures that lie beneath.
Yet, even in sleep, a question nags at you. For days, the mystery has lingered in your thoughtsâwho could be venturing into the depths to collect gems alongside you? Your research has led you nowhere, each inquiry a dead end. No diver you know is as daring, or perhaps as mad, as you, willing to plunge into the oceanâs deepest reaches. The puzzle gnaws at you, an itch you canât quite scratch, and the frustration builds like a storm on the horizon. It feels as if the answer is just out of reach, hidden beneath the waves, and the more you dwell on it, the more it drives you to the edge of your patience, a riddle you are desperate to unravel.
Driven by a spark of determination, youâve hatched a bold planâto dive back into the depths and catch the mysterious intruder whoâs been claiming your precious gems. Hae thinks itâs a dumb idea, but she indulges you, knowing your spirit is as restless as the ocean itself. And so, once again, you find yourself out on the boat, with Hae in the vast expanse of the ocean under the midday sun. The boat sways gently, a rhythmic dance on the waterâs surface as you methodically pull on your gearâyour oxygen tanks, goggles, and hydro fins. The final touch is your backpack, securely fastened to the tank, ready to hold whatever treasures you might uncover.
With purpose in your heart and a steely resolve, you press your arms together and plunge into the oceanâs embrace. The world above fades away as you descend into the deep, your body slicing through the water with graceful determination. Thoughts of the smaller boats you saw earlier linger in your mind, fueling your hope that this dive will lead you to your elusive rival.
As you dive deeper, the current cradles you, guiding your body as you sway with the oceanâs rhythm, until you reach the seabed. The familiar terrain unfolds before you, a place youâve visited many times, yet now it feels different, touched by the presence of another. Only a few small gems remain, their glint a reminder of whatâs been taken. You scan your surroundingsâkelp sways like dancers in the current, fish dart about in a symphony of colorsâbut no sign of competition yet.
Undeterred, you press on, swimming further along the seabed, following the contours of rocky formations. Your heart quickens as you reach a familiar spot, the place where you once unearthed a magnificent aquamarine. But as you approach, your breath catchesâthe rockâs surface is nearly barren, the aquamarine all but vanished, save for a few remaining shards that catch the light. Your fingers hover over the stone, tracing the empty space where the gems once gleamed, now a haunting reminder of whatâs been lost to unseen hands.
A sudden jolt, like a spark of electricity, tingles through your fingertips, and before you can react, a blur of blue fills your vision, distorting the world around you. You blink rapidly, trying to clear the haze, but it remainsâan ethereal presence in the water. Then, you feel a light, almost playful poke against your cheek, and a startled scream escapes into your mouthpiece, sending a cascade of bubbles spiraling upwards.
Instinctively, you jerk backward, heart pounding, as you struggle to comprehend whatâs before you. Noâthis canât be real. Itâs not another diver. Itâs not even human.
In front of you, suspended in the water like a living dream, is a merman. His face, heart-shaped and adorned with eyes like dragon-like darkened amber, is framed by short, blue hair that floats gently around his soft cheeks, jawline and pointed chin. Thin soft eyebrows arch over those wide, curious eyesâeyes that seem to hold all the wonder of the deep. His lips, thick and juicy are slightly parted in a soft âo,â convey a mix of curiosity and surprise. Your gaze travels over his tall frame down to his bare chest, lean and strong, and then to the tailâan iridescent baby blue, shimmering with every subtle movement, a perfect extension of the oceanâs beauty.Â
A wiggling tail instead of legs.
You blink again, desperate to make sense of the vision before you. A merman⊠It has to be.
He drifts closer, his tail flicking gracefully as he reaches out to poke your chin once more, his voice resonating through the water with an almost melodic quality. âAre you human?â he asks, his tone gentle yet filled with the wonder of a child discovering something new.
Your mind races, and you nod frantically, unable to speak with the mouthpiece still in your mouth, your feet paddling in the water as you fight to steady yourself. The reality of the moment crashes over you like a waveâthis is no fantasy. A merman is right in front of you.
As your gaze falls on the backpack strapped to his shoulders, you notice a subtle shimmer, a gleam of something precious. In that instant, the pieces fall into placeâheâs the one. Heâs the mysterious collector, your unexpected rival in this underwater hunt for gems.
âIâve seen humans before,â he continues, his voice carrying an almost casual tone as he swims around you, studying you like a creature from another world, âbut Iâve never seen one dressed like you.â
Your heart aches to respond, to ask a million questions, but with the mouthpiece in place, all you can do is let him circle you, his eyes filled with an innocent fascination. The silence between you is heavy with unspoken words, each glance exchanged like a whispered secret between the ocean and the sun.
As you take in the sight before you, your eyes are drawn to a necklace resting against his chest, the small piece of aquamarine nestled between the firm contours of his tittiesâchest, you mean chest! The gem, cradled in the hollow where his muscles meet, glimmers softly, almost as if itâs alive with the very essence of the sea. You canât help but stare in awe, the allure of it tugging at something deep within you. Thank heavens for your goggles, masking the blush that would otherwise give away your wandering thoughts.
âYou look funny,â he remarks, his voice laced with innocent curiosity as he reaches out to grab one of your hydro fin shoes. The unexpected touch throws you off balance, and for a moment, you find yourself flipping weightlessly in the water, your body twisting like a leaf caught in a gentle current.
âIs this supposed to be like a mermaidâs tail?â he asks, holding your foot aloft as though it were some ancient relic to be deciphered. His brow furrows in concentration, and you canât help but feel a mix of amusement and bewilderment at the sight.
Instinctively, you jerk your foot back, breaking free from his grasp, and you push against the water with frantic kicks, a glance at your watch reminding you that time is running out. As much as you wish to linger here, captivated by the mermanâs presence, the pressing need to return to the surface propels you upward.
âHey! Whereâre you going?â he calls after you, his voice tinged with a hint of desperation, but youâre already too focused on reaching the surface to notice the distress in his expression. The thought of what could happen if you donât make it in time isnât one youâre willing to entertain.
Breaking through the waterâs surface, you take off the mouthpiece and gulp in fresh air, scanning the horizon until you spot your boat, a distant speck where Hae waits, the other vessels having long since disappeared. It seems manageable, this swim back to the boat, as long as you stay above waterâyour oxygen tank now empty, its weight a reminder of how close you cut it.
But before you can begin the swim, something solid collides with you, stopping you in your tracks. âOw,â you exclaim, startled as you float backward, only to find yourself face to face with a familiar figure, his blue hair dripping wet above the waves.
âHi,â the merman says with a smile, his dimples appearing like little pools of light in the sun. The simple word carries a warmth that catches you off guard, and for a moment, youâre lost in the easy charm of his grin, the ocean around you feeling suddenly smaller, as if it were just the two of you in this vast, endless world.
âHi,â you greet him with a soft smile, still astonished that he followed you to the surface at all. A swirl of unspoken questions rises in your chest, but they tangle in your throat, leaving you staring at him, wide-eyed and speechless. The world seems to blur, save for the merman before you, his wet blue hair plastered against his forehead, his dragon-like eyes sweeping over you with a curious intensity, as if heâs memorizing every detail.
âWhatâs all that stuff youâve got on?â he asks, pointing a slender finger at your goggles and then at the oxygen tanks strapped securely to your back.
âThese?â you say, finding your voice as you point to your goggles. âThey help me see underwater,â you pause, feeling the weight of the tanks pulling at your shoulders, âAnd these let me breathe while I diveâthey hold the oxygen I need when Iâm down there.â You gesture to the tanks behind you, your explanation feeling small in the face of his wide, unblinking curiosity.
He hums thoughtfully, nodding as if piecing together a puzzle. âMakes sense,â he says at last, though his gaze strays past you, catching sight of Hae waving from the boat that rocks gently on the surface, her silhouette framed by the scorching sun.
âI... I have to get back,â you mumble, pointing toward your friend, the words feeling heavy as they leave your lips. You try to steady your thoughts, but they swirl like the currents beneath the sea, a thousand questions dancing just beneath the surface, questions you donât quite dare to voice.
âOkay,â he says, but thereâs a flicker of something in his eyesâhesitation, perhaps. âBut before you goâŠâ His voice halts your movements, drawing you back to him like the pull of the tide. You turn toward him again, heart fluttering in the quiet space between you, as if the ocean itself is holding its breath, waiting to see what comes next.
âWhatâs your name?â His voice is soft, carrying a gentleness that ripples through the water.
âItâs ___,â you reply, offering him a smile thatâs both shy and warm.
âThatâs pretty,â he says, and when his lips part into a smile, his dimples carve deep into his cheeks, making him almost impossibly cute, but dangerously so.Â
âIâm Namjoon.âÂ
His name lingers between you like a secret, sweet and mysterious. âWill I see you again?â he asks, tilting his head slightly, his brow raised in curious hope.
You canât help the grin that spreads across your face, the warmth filling your chest. Thereâs something about himâthis enchanting creature of the deepâthat makes you feel drawn in, like the tide itself is pulling you closer. You nod, the joy bubbling up inside you as you answer, âSee you later, Namjoon.â Thereâs more than one reason you want to see him again. The unspoken questions whirl in your mind, but thereâs also the thrillâbecause maybe, just maybe, you want to get your hands on the best crystals before he does.
As you turn and swim back toward Hae, your thoughts a mess of wonder and disbelief, a blush warms your cheeks. Did you just make a date with a merman? The thought sends a tingle of excitement through you. But when you glance back to where he was, Namjoon is already gone, having disappeared beneath the shimmering surface, like a dream fading with the dawn.
You finally make it to the boat, the sun still hanging high, bathing everything in golden light. As Hae helps you out of the water and hands you a towel, her eyes are wide with confusion. âWho was that? And how did he just vanish into the water like that, without any diving gear?â
âA merman,â you pant, peeling off your oxygen tanks and goggles. The words slip out of your mouth so naturally, like itâs something youâd say every day. Not the revelation of a magical creature, but a simple truth.
Hae stares at you, eyes nearly bulging from their sockets. âIâm sorry, what?â
âA merman,â you repeat, more firmly this time.
âA merman?â she echoes, her voice faint and incredulous, as if the very idea is too fantastical to grasp.
âYes. A goddamn merman,â you say, grinning wide as you meet her disbelieving gaze. âScaly tail and all.â And then the absurdity of it all hits you, and before you know it, youâre laughingâa bright, bubbling sound that lifts the tension from your chest.
Hae blinks, her mind racing to catch up with the truth youâve laid before her. When she finally does, her gaze shifts to the shimmering crystals youâve collected, and without another word, she turns the boat towards home, lost in thought as the ocean waves lap against the sides. And all you can do is sit there, the excitement of your encounter buzzing through your veins, as you wonder about the next time youâll meet Namjoon beneath the waves.
The next time you set sail, the open sea stretching endlessly before you, a current of giddy anticipation courses through your veins. Thoughts of the blue-haired merman, Namjoon, fill your mind, sparking excitement deep within your chest. Will he be there today, waiting beneath the waves? You wish you could speak with him underwater, to ask him the thousand questions swirling in your heart, but the surface would have to do for now. You canât help but smile at the thought of seeing him again.
Hae steers the boat through the shimmering water, the horizon vast and infinite. As you slip on your gear and dive beneath the surface, the oceanâs cool embrace pulls you into its depths. You swim purposefully, eyes scanning the underwater world, searching for both gems and a glimpse of Namjoon.Â
Suddenly, something blue catches your eye, sparkling in the distance. Your pulse quickens as you think, just for a moment, that it might be him. But as you swim closer, your heart sinksâitâs only a cluster of aquamarine, glittering like pieces of fallen sky. You feel a bit foolish, letting your hopes get the better of you. Shaking off the disappointment, you turn your attention to the task at hand, collecting the gems with careful precision, though your thoughts continue to drift back to the mysterious merman.
You move to a new spot, finding a hidden cave adorned with larimar crystals. The stones are breathtakingâswirls of blue, white, and gray blending like waves crashing upon a shore, smooth and radiant. The sight brings a smile to your face, the beauty of the moment settling into your heart. You gently gather some of the crystals, placing them in your bag with reverence, as if each one carries a secret.
Just as youâre about to leave the cave, a shadow falls across the entrance. Your heart skips a beat, startled by the sudden presence. But then, the familiar voice reaches your ears, warm and apologetic, and you see himâNamjoon, his figure filling the space, his smile soft and full of quiet charm.
âI didnât mean to scare you,â he says, his hand nervously scratching the back of his head, his eyes filled with a gentle sincerity.
Relief washes over you, and with a playful wave of your hands, you signal that itâs okayâthat he neednât worry. How you wish you could speak to him down here, let your words float freely in the water like the bubbles escaping from your gear. But for now, your gestures will have to suffice. Your smile says the restâyouâre just glad to see him again.
âYouâre collecting crystals, right?â Namjoon asks, his voice cutting through the liquid silence as he gestures toward your already bulging bag. You nod in response, still catching your breath from the weight of the gems youâve gathered.
âDo you want me to show you a cave with lepidolite?â he mumbles, his tone casual but a bit uncertain. âTheyâre pretty rare, but I know of a cave thatâs full of them.â For a fleeting moment, you wonder if this is the oceanâs version of Netflix and chill, the awkwardness of the offer landing with the charm of a bad pickup line. You canât help but smile at the thought.Â
Still, you nod, knowing that Hae would be thrilled to get her hands on more lepidolite, and besides, youâre curious. You figure underwater Netflix and chill is a bit different from what youâre used to anyway.
Namjoon leads the way, his brilliant blue tail weaving effortlessly through the water, shimmering like sunlight caught in a sapphire. You trail behind him, captivated by the rhythmic sway of his form, the way his muscles ripple across his broad back like waves sculpted by some divine hand. You canât help but wonderâdo they even have gyms down here? The sight of him, so fluid and powerful, is mesmerizing, and before you know it, time seems to slip away, your focus narrowing to the subtle dance of his movements.
âThis is the cave,â he suddenly announces, pulling you out of your reverie. You hadnât realized just how long youâd been swimming, utterly absorbed by the quiet beauty of the journey and him.
You follow him inside, and the sight that greets you takes your breath awayâdeep violet lepidolite, sparkling in the dim light like stars scattered across a twilight sky. Youâre awestruck by the sheer abundance, the rare gems nestled into the cave walls as if nature had painted this secret world just for you.
âBeautiful, right?â Namjoon giggles softly, his voice echoing gently through the cavern as you nod, too taken by the sight to speak. You pull out your tools, carefully beginning to gather the precious stones, all while feeling the warmth of his gaze lingering on you. His silent watchfulness stirs a strange flustered feeling inside, like heâs studying you with the same intensity youâve used to admire him.
Once your bag is heavy with lepidolite, Namjoon takes you on a quiet tour of other hidden gem spots. Each place he shows you feels like a secret whispered by the ocean itself, and soon your collection grows so large that the weight of it tugs at you, as if the sea itself is trying to pull you back down. When Namjoon offers to carry your bag, you try to refuse at first, clinging to your independence. But as your arms grow heavy, you relent, watching in awe as he effortlessly takes your overloaded bag, slinging it across his broad frame with ease. He carries it as though the weight is nothing, his strength as graceful as the tides themselves.
With a raised arm, you gesture that itâs time to surfaceâyour oxygen running low, the familiar ache of needing air settling into your chest. He seems to understand immediately, and together you ascend, the world around you turning brighter as you rise toward the surface.
Breaking through the water, you gasp in the fresh air, peeling off your goggles and mouthpiece, eager to speak to him in the open air. Namjoon surfaces beside you, droplets clinging to his skin as the sun catches the water in his hair, casting a shimmering halo around his smiling face.
âWe should do this again,â he says, his voice warm and full of excitement. âWasnât it fun?â
âIt really was,â you reply with a smile, your heart still buzzing from the underwater adventure. âThank you for showing me all those caves. My friend, Hae, is going to be over the moon,â you say, casting a glance toward the boat swaying gently in the distance.
âThatâs great to hear,â Namjoon replies, his voice as smooth as the rippling waves.
A flicker of frustration tugs at your chest, and you bite your lip. âI just wish I could talk to you down there,â you admit, your words heavy with a longing that feels both simple and profound.
âIt would be nice, yeah,â he muses, his soft smile brightened by the sunlight. âBut I donât mind coming up here to talk. I like the air up here too,â he adds with a gentle chuckle, his gaze warm and steady.
âI have so many questions,â you blurt out, the words escaping you before you can hold them back. Thereâs too much wonder bottled up inside you, too much curiosity, and it needs to spill over.
Namjoon laughs, a sound so genuine it feels like sunlight breaking through clouds. âShoot,â he says, his dimples deepening like two small whirlpools at the corners of his mouth.
You pause, your mind swimming with possibilities, before settling on the most obvious. âAre you the only merman, or⊠are there more of you?â you ask, your voice tinged with awe.
âThere are more,â he says with pride, his chest lifting slightly. âThereâs a whole city beneath the seaâNaraeum, where we live.â His eyes gleam with the pride of someone who belongs to something ancient and wondrous.
A thrill runs through you at the revelation. An entire city of merfolk hidden beneath the waves. The thought makes your pulse quicken, the realization that youâve stumbled upon something so extraordinary, so secret, that few on the surface could even imagine it. You feel as if youâve been let in on the universeâs greatest mystery, and it fills you with a giddy excitement that hums like electricity in your veins.Â
âAre there cities or kingdoms beneath the waves? What are they like?â you ask, your voice soft with curiosity, eager to glimpse the world he calls home.
Namjoonâs eyes light up with a quiet pride. âNaraeum is a vast kingdom,â he begins, his words gentle yet full of wonder. âThereâs pink coral stretching as far as the eye can see, ancient golden buildings weathered by time, and bright green kelp that sways like dancers in the currents. Dark caves hide beneath the surface, teeming with lifeâfish, crabs, creatures of every kind. And at night, everything glows with bioluminescent light, turning the ocean into a dreamscape.â A faint blush rises on his cheeks as he adds, âMaybe I can show you one day.â
Your breath catches in your throat, the thought of seeing an underwater kingdom beyond anything youâve ever imagined. âThat sounds unbelievable. Iâd love to see Naraeum,â you say, barely able to contain the excitement bubbling within you. The idea of diving so deep, into a world untouched by human hands, feels too surreal to grasp.
âThere are other cities too,â Namjoon continues, a smile tugging at his lips. âSome are smaller, some are larger, but Naraeum is like the heart of our region, the capital of sorts,â he adds, the pride in his voice unmistakable.
Your mind whirls with possibilities, questions tumbling out before you can stop them. âDo you have art? Music? Stories? How do you create them underwater?â
Namjoon laughs, a full-bodied sound that echoes across the waves. âWe do,â he replies with a sparkle in his eyes. âHuman books, for oneâweâve learned to preserve them so they donât dissolve. Otherwise, we etch our stories on stone, carving our history into the bones of the sea. For music, we use instruments that echo your drums, flutes, and strings, but theyâre crafted from merfolk hair, delicate yet strong.â
He pauses, a wistful look crossing his face. âNaraeum is ancient, filled with art and stories older than any of us. But,â he adds, adjusting the heavy bag on his back, âI fear I donât have enough time to share them all right now. This bag,â he says with a light grin, âis starting to weigh me down.â
âOh right, the bag!â you exclaim, snapping back to reality as a wave of panic ripples through you. You mentally scold yourself for letting the moment sweep you away, your feet kicking gently against the water as you make your way toward the boat. Namjoon swims by your side, effortlessly graceful, his shimmering tail flickering beneath the surface.Â
Hae is there, waiting with a patient smile, and as she pulls you aboard, you reach out to take the heavy bag from Namjoonâs hands. âThank you so much,â you say, a warm smile spreading across your face despite the unspoken whirlpool of questions still swirling in your mind. You wish you could ask him everything, but those wonders will have to wait.
âItâs no trouble at all,â Namjoon replies, his voice soft like the lull of the ocean. His own smile is tender, a quiet acknowledgment that leaves you feeling light despite the weight of the bag.Â
Hae chimes in with a grin, âSo, youâre the famous merman,â she teases, still a little wide-eyed as Namjoon flashes his bright blue tail above the surface, the sight leaving her speechless. The tail vanishes just as quickly, a flicker of the magic below.
âIâll have to go now,â Namjoon says, his voice carrying a gentle farewell as he begins to swim backward, his gaze lingering on yours. âBut Iâll see you again soon, ___.â
A blush creeps up your cheeks, and despite yourself, you smile and wave, heart fluttering in a way thatâs both exhilarating and unsettling. You watch him dip beneath the waves, his form disappearing into the deep blue, leaving the water still and the air quiet.
Hae turns to you with a knowing look. âYouâve got a crush on the merman, donât you?â
You canât deny the warmth spreading through you, but you push the thought aside, the reality of it sinking in. Heâs a merman. Youâre human. It feels impossible, like something from a dream. But maybeâjust maybeâbeing friends isnât out of reach. Friends, you think, as if convincing yourself. That canât hurt... right?
In the following weeks, you find yourself swept into a world beyond imaginationâeach adventure with Namjoon feels like diving into a storybook of magic and wonder. He takes you to hidden underwater realms where gems glimmer like stars, and schools of fish, dolphins, and whales glide by as if itâs the most natural thing in the world. Itâs as though the ocean has opened up just for you, revealing its secrets with every dive. The more time you spend with him, the stronger your heart tugs, pulling you deeper into your feelings. You try, futilely, to convince yourself youâre just friends, but every shared laugh, every meaningful glance, makes that harder to believe.Â
Namjoon is an incredible friend, one who listens to your ramblings with genuine interest. His conversation is as vast and deep as the ocean itself, leading you into existential tangents that leave you pondering life and its mysteries long after the talks are over. You wish for moreâthereâs an ache that grows inside youâbut how could that even be possible? Heâs a merman, youâre human. It feels like some impossible fairy tale. Yet, youâve caught him stealing glances, his cheeks tinged with blush, and sometimes he gazes at you with an intensity that makes your heart flutter in ways you canât ignore. But does that mean anything? How do merfolk even love? You wonder if their hearts beat the same as yours.
One quiet afternoon, as you sit with the sun lazily dipping below the horizon on the boat, you find yourself asking the question thatâs been gnawing at your mind. âAre there any consequences if a merman falls in love with a human?â The words tumble out before you can stop them.Â
Namjoon, floating beside the boat, nearly chokes on the beer you brought him, his laughter turning into a cough as he searches for air. When he finally speaks, his voice is quieter, more careful. âThere arenât really... any consequences,â he murmurs, the tips of his ears turning pink. His eyes flicker nervously to your lips, then meet your eyes again, a quiet vulnerability swimming in their depths.
Good to know, you think, your heart skipping a beat. But before the blush overtakes you, you scramble to change the subject, your curiosity pulling you in another direction. âIs there magic in the ocean, like the old legends say? Can you control it?â
He laughs softly, the sound like the ebb and flow of waves. âThere is magic, but no, I canât control it. None of us can. Thereâs a Sea Witch, thoughâsheâs the only one with that kind of power, as far as I know.â His words are laced with mystery, and your mind spins with possibilities.
âCan merfolk live forever?â you ask, half-dreaming of a life that stretches beyond the boundaries of time.
âYes and no,â he replies, his voice thoughtful. âWe can live for so long it feels like forever, but weâre not truly immortal.â His gaze drifts across the water, as if pondering the weight of time itself.Â
âInteresting,â you murmur, your thoughts swirling. âWhat happens when a merperson dies, then? Is there an afterlife?â
Namjoonâs smile is wistful as he explains, âWhen a merperson dies, we hold a celebrationâa spiritual send-off, really. Thereâs singing, dancing, itâs more of a party than a funeral. We celebrate their journey into the afterlife.â You must look puzzled because he quickly adds, âIn the afterlife, we become ghosts. But if friends and family donât send you off properly, thereâs a chance the spirit might come back to haunt them.â He chuckles lightly, and you gasp, wide-eyed at the thought.
A cool breeze dances over the water, and for a moment, the world feels suspended between reality and the dreamlike expanse of the sea. You sit there, awed by the depth of his world, your heart both heavy with questions and light with wonder. And in that moment, despite the impossible distance between your two worlds, something seems to shiftâsomething delicate and unspoken. You donât know what the future holds, but maybe, just maybe, thereâs magic enough to bridge the divide.
He passes the beer back to you, and you take a gentle sip, letting the taste linger without wanting the haze of drunkenness to settle in. Out here, in the middle of the endless ocean, everything feels both vast and intimate. A small taste is enough.
âDo you ever feel lonely in the vastness of the sea?â you ask, a quiet melancholy softening your voice as you gaze out at the seemingly endless horizon. The sea is breathtaking, yes, but the weight of its endlessness stirs something in youâa humbling reminder of how small one can feel in such a world.
âSometimes,â Namjoon admits, his head dipping as his gaze finds the water. âThere are moments when the ocean feels too big, too quiet.â His voice is soft, vulnerable. âBut I have good friends,â he continues with a faint smile, âand I have my books when the solitude feels too heavy.â He looks at you with eyes warm and reassuring, as if to say that the sea might be vast, but heâs found beauty in its stillness.
âOh, what books do you like?â you chuckle lightly, trying to brighten the mood, though his quiet sincerity tugs at your heart.
âHuman books,â he replies with a gentle grin. âI love historical tales, but fiction is my favoriteâstories that let me dream of other worlds.â
You smile, curiosity dancing on your lips. âWhat kind of fiction? Should I bring you some next time?â The words tumble out before you can catch them, your eagerness spilling over into the space between you.
A blush blooms across his cheeks, so deep it even colors the tips of his ears. In a shy, almost bashful voice, he says, âI... I like romance.â His admission is soft, as if heâs unsure of how it will land.
You canât help but smile, your heart swelling with affection. Thereâs no shame in it, not to youâif anything, itâs endearing. âI have some romance books I can bring next time, if youâd like,â you offer, your voice gentle, feeling the warmth of your words fill the space between you.
Namjoonâs eyes sparkle, a soft wonder lighting them up as his blush deepens. âI wouldnât mind that,â he murmurs, his voice as tender as the evening breeze.
The sun has begun to sink lower, casting a golden glow over the water. Namjoon glances at the sky, then back at you with a smile that feels like the closing of a chapter. âItâs getting late. I was thinking... next time, I could show you Naraeum.â His voice is proud, almost glowing with the thought. âIf we go at night, the whole kingdom shines,â he adds, a spark of excitement in his eyes as he recalls the bioluminescent beauty he once described to you.
Your heart leaps at the thought. âIâd love that,â you say, feeling the pull of the oceanâs magic once more. âIâll ask Hae to man the boat, so Iâm not alone when itâs time to head back.â
Namjoon nods, his smile softening as the sun dips lower, its light casting golden hues over both the water and his blue hair. âSee you soon,â he says, waving as he begins to slip beneath the surface.
You wave back, feeling the warmth of his presence linger, even as you sail toward the shore, the fading sunlight a reminder that the ocean holds many mysteries yet to be uncovered. And with each adventure, your connection to him deepens, like a current pulling you both to something inevitable.
"Iâm telling you, youâre totally whipped, man," Yoongi says with a playful eye roll, his voice teasing but laced with truth.
âIâm not,â Namjoon protests, crossing his arms defensively, but deep down, he knows resistance is futile. His friends have been relentless, teasing him ever since you entered his lifeâhow his smile stretches wider, brighter, after spending time with you, how your name slips into conversations that have nothing to do with the human world. Itâs like youâve seeped into his very soul. He knows heâs fallen, and fallen hard, but the weight of his feelings confuses him. He has no idea how to navigate them, unsure of your heart, or if you could even feel the same pull toward him. And how could it ever work between you two? The thought of venturing onto land to be with you dances through his mind like a fragile dream, but thereâs a storm of questions swirling beneath the surfaceâquestions heâs too afraid to ask, too scared to drown in all the unknowns.
âJust donât get your heart broken,â Yoongi mutters, his voice softer now, tinged with caution. Namjoon nods, the words settling heavily in his chest like stones sinking to the ocean floor.
âHey man, donât throw your past experiences at Joonie like that!â Jimin chimes in, smacking Yoongiâs shoulder, a little too forcefully judging by Yoongiâs wince. âIf heâs in love, he should go for it. Take the dive, see where the current leads him,â the blonde merman insists, eyes sparkling with mischief and optimism, trying to fill Namjoonâs heart with hope, pushing away the shadows Yoongiâs cynicism casts.
Namjoon, though, can only sigh. âI just donât knowâŠ,â he mumbles, fingers trailing along the spines of his beloved books, rearranging them in some futile attempt to quiet the storm inside him. Anything to busy himself, anything to keep thoughts of you from consuming him. But itâs hopelessâwhy does his mind keep drifting back to you, like the tide, relentless and unyielding?
âIt will never work,â Yoongi shrugs with a quiet scoff, his voice carrying the weight of someone whoâs seen too many relationships slip away. His words linger in the air, heavy like the deep sea.
Jimin, unphased, shoots him a scolding glare. âYou never know that,â he says firmly. âJust because your love lifeâs been a shipwreck doesnât mean itâs the same for everyone else.â Thereâs a sharp edge to his words, a flicker of irritation.
âAnd look at Seokjin and Soo-ah!â Jimin adds, his voice lifting again, the gleam of an idea flickering in his eyes. âSoo-ah was human once too, remember? She turned mermaid for love. Maybe ___ would want to become a mermaid as well? Who knows what fate has in store,â he grins, ever the romantic, eager to plant seeds of possibility in Namjoonâs mind.
Namjoonâs heart stirs at the thought, but even the idea feels like a dream too distant, too fragile to reach. Could you really be part of his world? Could love, like the sea, find a way to bridge the impossible distance between you?
âI would never put that on her. She has a lifeâone sheâs likely content with on land. I couldnât ask her to leave it behind,â Namjoon says, his voice laced with breathless resignation, as though the weight of his own feelings has left him deflated, crushed beneath the impossibility of it all.Â
âSheâs a good friend. Iâll just... enjoy what we have for now,â he adds softly, placing the book youâd given him gently on his nightstand, his fingers lingering on the cover. He already treasures it, not for the words it contains, but because it came from you. Though he hasnât yet reached the end, he finds himself lost in the pages, immersed in the tale of a woman struggling with feelings for her best friendâtorn between preserving their friendship or risking everything for love. If Namjoon sees a reflection of his own heart in those pages, heâll never admit it, not even to himself.
âLove sucks anyway,â Yoongi mutters, his voice sharp and bitter, like a wound still raw and bleeding.
âYouâre killing the vibe, Yoon,â Jimin sighs, shaking his head as he swims closer to Namjoon, his energy warm and comforting.Â
âDonât listen to him,â Jimin adds, draping an arm around Namjoonâs broad shoulders, trying to lift the weight that presses down on his friend. âHeâs the last person you want advice from when it comes to love. Heâs forgotten what it means to believe in it.â Jimin shoots another glare at Yoongi, who merely shrugs, unmoved.
Namjoon lets out a weary sigh. He likes youâno, more than likes you. Perhaps heâs even in love, but heâs still learning to come to terms with that revelation. What if telling you his feelings drives you away? What if, in confessing his heart, he loses the precious friendship youâve built together? You, whoâve brought laughter and life into his days. Heâs never been close to a human before, not like this, and the thought of losing you weighs heavier than the ocean above him.Â
Itâs not like he hasnât ventured to land before, tasted fleeting moments with humansâflings that flickered out as quickly as they began. But this, you, feel different. And heâs in deep water now, uncertain of the way forward. It doesnât matter to him that youâre human. If you were a mermaid, he doubts it would make things easier. What draws him to you isnât your species, itâs your soul.Â
Itâs the way your hair dances in the wind, or how it clings to your skin when itâs soaked from the sea. The way your cheeks flush red, that soft blush that dusts even the bridge of your nose. The way bubbles rise and swirl around you when you dive beneath the waves, how your lashes flutter like the wings of a butterfly. The way your presence calms the storm inside him, as though you carry the quiet strength of the sea itself.
Yes, Namjoon thinks, his heart heavy with the undeniable truth. Heâs got it bad.
âHae, I donât know what to do,â you sigh, the weight of indecision pressing down on you as you sit at the coffee shop, staring at the steam rising from your untouched cup. You feel like you could pull your hair out, frustration boiling inside as you wait for the coffee to cool, though itâs really your emotions that need calming.
The midday sunlight filters through the window, casting soft golden light over your table, but you canât appreciate the warmth. Your mind is too restless. What are you supposed to do with these feelings?
âItâs actually quite simple,â Hae says, her tone far too casual for the magnitude of what youâre feeling. She takes a sip of her coffeeâhow does she drink it so scalding hot?âand you scoff softly, half out of envy, half in disbelief at how calm she seems. âYou just have to talk to him.â
You groan, the sound louder than you intended, pulling curious glances from the tables around you. Embarrassed, you lower your voice, but the frustration lingers, tugging at your insides like a tangled knot.Â
âItâs not that easy,â you say, pushing your coffee aside. âWhat if he doesnât like me? What if I ruin everything between us?â Your voice drops to a whisper as your hands fall to your lap, palms sweaty and clammy. âHow would it even work? Heâs a merman, Hae. I... Iâm just me.â
Hae raises an eyebrow, amused. âGirlâhave you seriously not noticed the way he looks at you?â
You blink. âWhat do you mean? He looks at me... normal.â
She gives you a look that suggests you might be the most oblivious person on the planet. âNah. He looks at you like heâs ready to drown in your eyesâlike youâre his whole world.â
Her words hit you like a sudden wave, stealing your breath for a moment. Could she be right? Youâve never seen Namjoon look at you like that, at least not in a way you could recognize.Â
âReally?â you whisper, unsure, heart fluttering with both hope and fear.
âYes,â she emphasizes, laughing a little as she sets her cup down. âYouâre kinda stupid for not noticing.â
You finally take a tentative sip of your now-warm coffee, trying to hide the way her words unravel you. As the warmth settles in your chest, your mind starts racing, replaying all the moments youâve shared with Namjoon, all the times heâs looked at you, spoken to you with that gentle smile. Had there been something more in those glances? Had you been too blind to see it?
âYou should confess your feelings,â Hae says, matter-of-fact, sipping her coffee like itâs the simplest thing in the world.
But itâs not that simple, not for you. The thought of baring your heart feels like standing at the edge of a precipice, with no way of knowing if thereâs solid ground beneath youâor a fall. What if sheâs wrong? What if youâre wrong?Â
You shake your head slowly. âI donât know if I can. What if I ruin our friendship? What if he doesnât feel the same?â
Hae gives you a knowing look, but youâre already spiraling, lost in your own thoughts. Maybe... maybe you could watch him a little longer, try to see what sheâs seeing, catch more evidence that thereâs something there, something more.Â
Because the risk of losing him over your feelingsâthat terrifies you more than anything.
Itâs a few nights later, and the sea is a blanket of darkness as you and Hae venture out into its endless expanse. The sky above is nearly pitch black, save for the delicate shimmer of stars scattered like diamonds, casting faint light upon the inky water. The moon hangs low, its pale glow mirrored perfectly on the surface, creating a fragile bridge between the heavens and the sea. You pull Hae into a hug, murmuring your gratitude for her being here, for her unwavering companionship on this strange, otherworldly journey. She laughs softly, her voice breaking the silence of the night, and tells you she wouldnât let you drownânot when sheâs here to keep you safe. Her words bring a smile to your face, easing the quiet tension in your chest as you pull on your gear in the dark.
You slip into the water, the sea swallowing you whole. Beneath the surface, itâs as black as ink, the deep blue fading into a near-impenetrable navy that borders on oblivion. But there is no fear, only the pull of the unknown as you dive deeper, surrendering to the quiet pull of the ocean. Your breath is steady, your heartbeat louder in your ears than the sound of the waves above.
And then, there he isâNamjoon, his gentle smile waiting for you like a beacon in the depths, dimples carving softness into the darkness. His presence is steady, grounding, and for a moment, you forget you canât speak, forgetting that the words you wish to sayâIâm glad Iâm here, thank you for thisâare trapped behind the mask of your breathing gear.
Suddenly, his hand reaches for yours. The touch surprises you at first, a flicker of warmth against the cold of the sea, sending a soft spark up your arm, a silent current that makes your heart stutter. But then you relax into it, realizing how right it feelsâhis hand in yours, the silent understanding between you. Itâs just a hand, you remind yourself, but even the smallest gesture carries weight in the depths of the sea.
âItâs dark,â he gestures to your joined hands, his voice a whisper through the water. âIâll guide you.â You notice, even in the dim light, how his eyes shift nervously, and if the ocean werenât so dark, youâd swear there was a blush creeping across his cheeks.
Together, you swim deeper, your hand still clasped in his as the world around you begins to change. In the distance, something gleamsâa glint of gold, faint but unmistakable. As you draw closer, it becomes more defined, taking shape as towering structures rise from the seafloor like monuments from another world. Tall, ancient buildings glitter beneath the water, their surfaces gleaming with gold, adorned in intricate lettering and symbols you canât begin to decipher. The curves and arches remind you of something familiar, some echo of human architecture, though far grander and more ancient than anything youâve ever seen. These arenât just buildingsâtheyâre castles, palaces from a forgotten fairy tale. Everything is bathed in the ethereal glow of bioluminescent light, soft blues and yellows emanating from plants that pulse like stars, making the entire city shimmer as if alive with magic. Itâs breathtakingâotherworldly in its beautyâand you feel your breath catch in your throat, mesmerized by the impossible splendor before you.Â
How many wonders exist beneath the surface, hidden from the world above? you think, the weight of it all is almost too much to grasp. That such a place could exist, a vast city of gold and light, thriving in the deepâhow could you have never known?
âWelcome to Naraeum,â Namjoon says, his voice soft, gesturing toward the city center that teems with life. Merpeople of all shapes, colors, and ages drift through the streets, some lost in their own rhythms, others laughing and chatting, and children darting through the water in playful games. The whole scene is alive, vibrant, and full of warmth, and the sight of it fills you with something indescribableâjoy, wonder, perhaps even belonging.
A smile spreads across your face, unbidden, as the reality of this magical place settles over you. For the first time, you feel like youâve truly discovered something beyond the world youâve known, something boundless and beautiful. And with Namjoon beside you, it feels like youâve only just begun to understand its depths.
âThis is the city hall,â Namjoon gestures toward the tallest of the castles, its golden spires reaching upward like fingers trying to touch the oceanâs surface. âThe royal family lives there too.â His voice is soft, but thereâs a weight to his words, something ancient and significant about the building that looms over the city like a silent guardian.
You glance at him, blinking, wishing you could ask more, the curiosity burning inside you. If only you could speak, but the water and the mouthpiece keep your questions trapped behind your lips. The tug of his hand interrupts your thoughts, and once again youâre being gently pulled deeper into the heart of Naraeum, where the city unfolds like a dream in slow motion.
The water sways with lifeâdelicate kale and other greens move in rhythm with the gentle currents, shells glint beneath the sandy floor, and tiny crabs scuttle between the rocks, oblivious to your presence. Shoals of fishâbright yellow, orange, and blackâdart past, their quicksilver bodies flashing through the twilight water. And now, the eyes of the merpeople are on you. Their gazes, curious and shimmering, follow you as you move through their world, and for the first time, you feel like a true visitor in a land not your own.
Three merpeople approach, their figures graceful and effortless in the water. One, a striking merman with a pink tail that shimmers like rose quartz in the dim light, looks you over with an intensity that makes you feel seen in a way both comforting and unfamiliar. You notice his hand intertwined with a mermaid beside him, her tail a stunning shade of purple that gleams like amethyst. Together, they are radiant, like a pair of jewels. They look perfect together, you think, a bit in awe of how seamlessly they belong to this world.
âThis is ___?â the pink-tailed merman asks, his voice smooth, his eyes darting to Namjoon for confirmation.
Namjoon nods, and the mermaid smiles, her face brightening with warmth. âPleased to meet you,â she says, her voice light like a melody. âIâm Soo-ah, and this is my fiancĂ©, Seokjin.â You nod in response, acknowledging them with a smile behind your mouthpiece, feeling a sense of camaraderie in their presence.
But before you can speakâor even think of what to sayâyour eyes catch on the third figure. A dark-haired merman with a tail the color of midnight, streaked with gold that glimmers like starlight. His aura is differentâcolder, detached. His black eyes flicker over you briefly, then, with a dismissive scoff, he turns away, arms crossed over his chest as if to close himself off from the world.Â
Namjoon sighs, his voice edged with irritation, âThatâs Yoongi.â The name comes out rough, almost an apology. âHe forgot to take the stick out of his ass today.â
You canât help but chuckle, bubbles escaping from your mouthpiece, rising toward the surface like tiny pieces of joy. Even in this underwater kingdom, humor survives, softening the tension. But Yoongi, unmoved, swims off into the shadows, his figure disappearing into the vastness of the sea.Â
âDonât mind him,â Namjoon mutters, squeezing your hand a little tighter. âCome on, I want to show you the rest.â
Soo-ah and Seokjin swim alongside you as Namjoon leads you through the winding streets of the marketplace, stalls lined up like sentinels, though empty now in the quiet of night. The architecture is both foreign and familiar, illuminated by the soft glow of bioluminescent plants. Everything feels untouched by time, and yet alive with history. You pass the grand library next, its shelves filled with tomes both ancient and new, merfolk stories and human books resting side by side. You can almost feel the weight of untold stories and hidden lore that fills the space, waiting to be discovered.
Namjoonâs excitement builds as he takes you to a fitness center unlike anything youâve ever seenâmassive bars with stones at either end, weights crafted from various-sized rocks, and machines clearly designed for strength and agility in the water. Itâs a glimpse into the life of these beings, how they build themselves in this weightless world.
After a while, Soo-ah and Seokjin bid you farewell, their presence a quiet comfort as they swim off together, leaving you alone with Namjoon. Your pulse quickens. His hand, still clasped in yours, feels warm even in the cold depths of the sea. The way he glances at youâthose fleeting, secretive looks that youâve caught out of the corner of your eyeâmakes your heart race even more. Haeâs words echo in your mind, whispering truths youâre not sure youâre ready to admit.Â
Could it be? you wonder, as the two of you drift toward his home.
âThis is my place,â he says softly, his voice reverberating through the water as he turns on the lightâan iridescent seashell hanging from the ceiling that casts a gentle, pearlescent glow throughout the space. His home is carved into the heart of a cave, the walls smooth and cool to the touch, like the sea itself has shaped them over countless years. Your eyes fall on his bed, draped in what looks like a soft, inviting duvet, but as you get closer, you realize itâs woven from delicate strands of kelp, swaying ever so slightly in the currents. Itâs an unexpected beauty, intricate and organic, like everything in this underwater world.
The longest wall is dominated by a towering bookshelf, its shelves lined with books, arranged meticulously by color and size. Itâs mesmerizing, this ocean of stories heâs collected, and you canât help but wonder what worlds and lives heâs explored within these pages. You want to tell him, to say how beautiful it all isâhis home, his soul, him. But your words are trapped beneath the weight of the sea, tangled with the breathlessness of being in his presence.Â
Your fingertips brush the spines of the books, imagining all the narratives they contain, each one another layer of who Namjoon is. You glance down at your joined handsâhis fingers laced with yours, and in that quiet moment, you swear you can feel something electric passing between you. A pulse of warmth, a silent exchange of emotions you canât speak. You want to kiss him, more than anything. The way heâs gazing at you, his eyes soft and full of something unspoken, the gentle curve of his lips hiding a blush you wish you could see more clearly.
But here, in this quiet cavern beneath the sea, thereâs nothing you can do. You canât ask him what youâre dying to know, canât lean in and feel the warmth of his lips against yours, canât tell him that youâre falling, deeply, helplessly. All you can do is float here, heart aching with the weight of everything unsaid.Â
He clears his throat, nervously scratching the back of his head. His mouth opens as if heâs about to speak, then closes again. Thereâs something he wants to say, you can feel it, lingering in the air between you. He tries again, and this time his voice, soft and hesitant, finally breaks the silence.Â
âThank you for letting me show you my world.â
You squeeze his hand gently, pouring all the gratitude and affection you canât voice into that single touch. You hope he feels itâthe appreciation, the awe, the quiet longing you carry for him. And in that touch, you wish you could invite him into your world, share everything that you are with him, even though heâs been on land before. But you donât know if heâd want that. Youâve never asked, never dared to imagine what it might be like to share your lives across these two worlds. Youâre afraid to impose, afraid to hope too much.
The moment hangs fragile between you, but like all perfect moments, it begins to fade as reality presses in. You feel the pull of time, the reminder that you need to return to the surface. Namjoon feels it too. His eyes flicker with understanding as he leads you back out into the city, guiding you through the soft glow of bioluminescent lights, past the merpeople still moving gracefully through their midnight routines.Â
The silence between you stretches as you swim toward the boat where Hae waits, but itâs not the kind of silence that weighs heavy. Itâs filled with possibility, thick with everything you havenât said. Your heart beats faster as you realize that, once youâre back above the water, youâll have the chance to speak. To ask. The thought of it sends your pulse racing, a swirl of excitement and terror mixing in your chest.Â
What if he doesnât feel the same? The question spins through your mind, gnawing at the edges of your courage. But the way he looked at you, the way his hand feels in yours, gives you hope. And maybeâjust maybeâthat will be enough.
As you break the surface of the water, you push your goggles up to rest like a headband, feeling the cool night air kiss your damp skin. Itâs crisp, almost electric, filling your lungs with a freshness that makes the world above feel more alive than ever. Namjoon surfaces beside you, offering you a soft smile, but your attention is caught by the subtle blush dusting his cheeks, a faint rose bloom in the moonlight. He seems hesitant, his uncertainty mirroring your own, as if youâre both standing on the edge of something vast and uncharted, too afraid to take that first leap.
For a heartbeat, he swims closer, his presence looming gently in your space. You hold your breath, your pulse quickening with the thought that he mightâmaybeâkiss you. Instinctively, you close your eyes, ready to surrender to that moment, but instead, his fingers brush your cheek, and he tucks a stray strand of hair behind your ear with such tenderness it sends a wave of warmth through your body. His touch lingers, delicate and deliberate, and though it wasnât the kiss you imagined, it makes you blush all the same. The heat rises to your cheeks, flooding you with a mixture of longing and disappointment.
But then something stirs within youâsome reckless courage sparked by his closenessâand before you can think it through, you lean in. Your lips find his, a soft, quick kiss, almost like a whisper. Itâs gentle, just a peck, but his lips are warm, softer than you ever imagined, like the sea breeze caressing your skin on a summer evening.Â
When you pull away, you see the surprise flicker in his eyes for just a moment before his features soften into something tender and full of quiet affection. His ears burn red in the moonlight, and his dimples deepen as he gazes at you with a look that leaves you breathless. His brown eyesâdark and shimmering, like polished amberâglow with something more, something deeper. You think, just for a second, itâs desire, simmering beneath his calm exterior.
âThank you for tonight,â you whisper, your voice barely carrying over the soft lapping of the waves. You squeeze his hand, feeling the warmth and strength of him, and smile. âIt was so beautiful.â
Namjoon doesnât speak; he simply looks at you, his dragon-like eyes full of quiet intensity, his dimples softening the tension in the air. Itâs a look that makes your heart skip, that holds a thousand unsaid words between you. And as you reluctantly pull away, swimming toward the boat, your mind is still spinning from the kiss, from the closeness, from everything left unspoken.
Hae pulls you up into the boat, and as you sit, catching your breath, you catch her sly grin. You know she saw everythingâthe kiss, the blush, the way Namjoon looked at youâbut for now, she stays silent, letting the moment hang in the air. You wave to Namjoon, watching as he offers one last gentle smile before disappearing back into the deep, dark waters, the night swallowing him whole.
And even as the waves settle, your heart still swells, full of the hope and mystery that the nightâand Namjoonâleft behind.
The days pass in a blur of anxious thoughts, your heart heavy with doubt. Every dive into the ocean feels colder without a trace of Namjoon, and the silence is deafening. Each time you resurface alone, your mind spirals further into uncertainty. Did you overstep? The kiss lingers on your lips, but now you wonder if it was a mistake. It feels as if heâs vanished into the depths, leaving you adrift. Is he avoiding me? The question gnaws at you, twisting your insides. Maybe this is his way of saying he doesnât feel the same, that he wants nothing more to do with you.
Hae, ever the caring friend, drags you to a fancy restaurant in an attempt to soothe your restless mind, insisting that youâre worrying yourself to death. You look like a dog thatâs been kicked, she had said with a shake of her head, trying to make you laugh. But now, as you sit across from her, poking at the salad you barely have the appetite to eat, the weight of your uncertainty presses down even harder. Your stomach twists with every bite, the anxiety clinging to you like a shadow.
âMaybe heâs just busy, or caught up in merfolk stuff?" Hae suggests, her voice light, trying to pry you from the dark corners of your thoughts. But your mind wonât let you escape. Busy? No, your treacherous thoughts whisper, heâs avoiding youâheâs forgotten you, and the kiss meant nothing.
You say nothing, only stabbing your fork into the salad with a kind of quiet fury, each jab into the leaves an outlet for the storm brewing inside you.
âUh, ___?â Haeâs voice breaks the tension, but you barely lift your head. She stumbles over her words, clearly uneasy, her tone cautious as she leans in closer. âThereâs a manâblue hairâheâs looking at us.â
At her words, something stirs in you, curiosity overriding the anger for just a moment. Blue hair? Your heart skips a beat, and before you can stop yourself, you turn around, almost instinctively, as though drawn by an invisible thread. Your gaze collides with a pair of deep, brown eyes that hold all the mystery of the ocean. Namjoon.
His eyes glisten like the sea at dawn, reflecting both depth and tenderness, swirling with something unspokenâregret, maybe even desire. You swallow hard, feeling the magnetic pull that has always existed between you, but this time, itâs stronger. The air around you thickens as he walks toward the table, his presence unmistakable, sending your pulse into a wild rhythm.
âHi, Y/N,â he says, his voice soft, laced with an apology that doesnât need to be spoken yet. The smile he offers is gentle, almost shy, and you can see the guilt in the way his eyes search yours. He knows. He knows he shouldnât have disappeared without a word.
âHi, Namjoon,â you manage to reply, the sound of his name on your lips stirring something deep inside youâsomething thatâs a mixture of relief and frustration. Youâre a little mad, of course you are. But as your heart races, you know you canât stay angry with him, not when heâs standing there with that look in his eyes. Heâs here now. And thatâs enough for your heart to forgive him.
Your eyes travel down to his legsâstrong, toned, perfectly human. Heâs traded the water for the land, just for you, standing there in beige shorts like itâs the most natural thing in the world. And yet, your mind spins with the impossibility of it all, as if heâs a dream made flesh, and part of you still canât believe heâs really here.
The air between you is thick with unspoken words, a tension that seems to ripple like the sea itself. Namjoon scratches the back of his head, his eyes shifting with uncertainty. âIâm sorry Iâve been gone,â he begins, his voice low and sincere. âI didnât mean to disappear like that, but something happened in Naraeumââ
Before he can finish, the weight of your own anxiety breaks through, forcing the words from your chest. âI thought you didnât like me, or just forgot about me.â The admission tumbles out, raw and trembling, the very fear that has haunted you for days finally taking shape between you. As soon as the words leave your lips, you feel exposed, vulnerable. You brace yourself for his response.
For a moment, he just stares, his expression frozen in disbelief, like your words have knocked the wind out of him. Then, his face softens, eyes wide with something close to shock. âBaby, no,â he says with a dismissive wave of his hand, the nickname slipping from his lips so naturally that it sends a flutter of warmth through your chest. He steps closer, worry etched in every line of his face as his gaze falls on you, sitting there with your heart in your throat.
Baby?
âIâd never forget about you,â he continues, his voice trembling slightly as he bites his lower lip, as if trying to hold something back. The intimacy of that small gesture makes your breath catch.
Hae clears her throat opposite you, breaking the charged moment. She rises from her seat, her chair scraping loudly against the floor, drawing both your gazes toward her flushed face. âNamjoon, please, take my seat and talk. Iâll go home and shower this tension off,â she says, her tone teasing but kind.
You open your mouth to protest, but then close it, realizing sheâs right. The tension is palpable, thick as the ocean depths, and part of you is grateful for the space sheâs offering. Even though nerves twist inside you like a storm, you know this is a conversation you need to have.
As Hae leaves, Namjoon sits down across from you, his eyes soft and apologetic. âIâm sorry I worried you, baby,â he murmurs, leaning forward slightly. His hands rest on the table, inching closer to yours, like heâs afraid to cross that final distance too soon.
Thereâs that word againâbabyâand it stirs something deep inside you, butterflies rising in your chest, fluttering wildly, desperate to escape. Itâs more than just a nickname; itâs a promise, a reassurance that melts the cold fear that has been gnawing at you for days.
âItâs okay,â you reply, your voice softer now, the storm inside you beginning to calm. âMy mind just... got the better of me.â Your gaze flickers to where his fingers hover near yours, and your heart beats wildly at the nearness of him.
Namjoon is here, in front of you, and you realize with a quiet, overwhelming reliefâheâs never really been gone.
âI could never not like you,â Namjoon murmurs, his voice dipping lower, softer, as if the truth is too delicate to be spoken aloud. âI think I... love you,â he finishes, the last words barely audible, yet they linger in the air between you like a fragile secret.
Did he just say love? Your heart stumbles, and for a moment, you forget to breathe. âYou do?â you ask, your voice trembling with disbelief, your pulse fluttering wildly in your chest. Could it be real? Could he feel the same way?
A flicker of uncertainty dances across your mind, and you canât help but press further, needing clarity. âWaitâdo you think, or do you know?â Your question is gentle, but it carries the weight of hope, a hope that has been simmering beneath the surface for so long.
Namjoon smiles at himself, a soft laugh escaping his lips. âSorry,â he says, the sincerity in his eyes unmistakable. âI know. I know I love you.â
Time seems to slow, the world slipping into a dreamlike state where everything feels soft, suspended, as if wrapped in the warm glow of your shared confession. The air between you feels charged, but also tender, like the fragile moment before the first petal falls. You can feel it nowâheâs there with you, and this love, this real thing, is finally mutual.
You reach out, taking his hands in yours, and lean in closer. âI love you too, Namjoon,â you whisper, the words feeling both daring and true.
For a moment, silence settles between you, but itâs a comfortable silenceâone filled with the weight of whatâs just been said. His hazel eyes, flecked with warmth and softness, hold yours, and you swear you could drown in them. Drown and never wish to come up for air.
The pull between you is magnetic, and before you can stop yourself, the words slip out, unfiltered and bold. âDo you... want to come see my place?â The second the words leave your mouth, heat rushes to your cheeks. The invitation is brazen, filled with unspoken implications, but you know itâs what you wantâall of him, not just this moment, but something more, something deeper.
Namjoonâs breath catches, and he stands, his gaze never leaving yours. âYes, baby,â he replies in a voice that is almost a whisper, but carries the weight of everything he feels. That one wordâbabyâsends shivers spiraling down your spine, and you bite your lip, holding back a smile.
Hand in hand, you walk together through the quiet night, the cool air a stark contrast to the warmth building between you. You donât need words now; the simple contact of his hand in yours is enough, grounding you as you lean into his strong frame. It feels so natural, as if youâve always been walking beside him, as if this was always meant to happen.
When you reach your apartment, you fumble for the keys, unlocking the door with a nervous flutter in your chest. As the door swings open, you flick on the light, and for a moment, you glance around, hoping he wonât find your space too cluttered or small. Youâd cleaned just the day before, but still, anxiety lingers.
Namjoon steps inside, his eyes roaming the space, but he doesnât say a word. Instead, he looks at you, his gaze heavy with something unspoken, something that makes your heart race. His hand tightens around yours, and you feel yourself being pulled further into his orbit, like gravity drawing you closer.
You look up at him, studying the moles that dot his skin, noticing the way his features are softened by the low light. Heâs so close, and in this moment, with his warm eyes on yours and his hand gently holding yours, you thinkâthis is what it means to truly be seen, to truly be wanted. And God, does he look so handsome.
Then, without hesitation, he dives in, his lips crashing into yours with a desperate, urgent need. The moment you let out a soft moan against his mouth, he releases your hand, now free to explore you. Both of his hands cup your cheeks tenderly, yet with a fierceness that pulls you deeper into him. The kiss consumes you, leaving you feeling like water melting in his palmsâsoft, fluid, and utterly surrendered. His lips tease yours, grazing them in a way that demands more, and when he seeks entrance, you grant it willingly. Your tongues meet in a slow, intoxicating rhythm, moving like waves crashing together under a moonlit sea.
Another moan escapes you, and you feel heat pooling deep inside, a yearning thatâs overwhelming. And itâs only a kissâyet it has you unraveling like a ribbon coming loose.
When he finally pulls away, his gaze locks onto yours, desire simmering in the air between you, thick and electric. âBaby, I want you so bad,â he breathes, his lips curling into a soft pout that makes your heart melt. How does he look both fierce and endearing at once?
You canât help but smile, your own need burning just as fiercely. âMe too... Please call me âbabyâ more,â you whisper, fluttering your lashes as you cling to the warmth in his eyes. âI love it.â
He chuckles, the sound like a low rumble of thunder. âOh, Iâve noticed,â he says, amused. âEvery time I call you âbaby,â your eyes dilate.â
You didnât know that, but you feel the truth of itâthe way that simple word makes your heart race, how it draws you even closer to him, making you crave more.
âI want you...â You pause, feeling the boldness rise within you, âI want you to fuck me.â Your voice is breathless, your gaze holding his with an unspoken plea.
Namjoon grins, a softness creeping into his eyes. âOh, baby, Iâm going to make love to you,â he whispers, and the words are like honey dripping slow and thick. âDonât you worry,â he adds, his lips capturing yours again with a hunger that makes your head spin.
Each kiss sends you spiraling further into him, your sanity slipping, but God, you love every second of it. It strikes you then how much of a romantic he is, how the passion in his touch mirrors the stories he loves in his books.
He pulls back, his breath hot against your lips. âWhereâs your bedroom?â he asks with a playful chuckle.
You point, and before you can say another word, his strong hands find your waist, lifting you effortlessly. You wrap your legs around him, straddling his hips as he carries you across the room. He opens the bedroom door with a sweep of his foot, not bothering with the light, and gently lowers you onto the bed. Laughter bubbles between you, soft and sweet, as his lips claim yours again in a kiss that is both feverish and tender.
Your fingers tangle in his blue hair, tugging at the strands, and he hisses in pleasure, the sound sending shivers racing down your spine. He grinds against you, his erection pressing firmly against your core, and you feel yourself unraveling again, melting beneath him. God, he feels big, you think, your body aching to know him, to feel him completely.
Your hands move to the hem of his shirt, your fingers brushing against his skin as you tug the fabric upward, longing to see his bare chest again. You know what lies beneathâhis broad, muscular frame, every inch of him beautifully sculpted, chest rising and falling with each breath. And you need to touch him, to feel his strength beneath your hands.
In this moment, nothing else mattersâjust him, you, and the gravity of everything that has led you here.
He pulls away, sensing exactly what you want, and in one fluid motion, grabs the hem of his shirt, peeling it off in a way that feels almost sinful. The sight of him should be illegalâholy hell, the way his muscles flex as he undresses is enough to take your breath away.
Your hands move instinctively, drawn to the expanse of his chest, a perfect blend of softness and strength. The skin beneath your fingers is warm, and the way he feelsâsolid, yet yieldingâis intoxicating.
âLike what you see?â he teases, his voice low and full of that gentle confidence, and you can only gape at him, feeling the warmth of your admiration blossom into something deeper.
âGod, Namjoon, youâve always been beautiful... inside and out,â you murmur, your voice filled with reverence, because while his looks are striking, itâs his soul that captivates you.
His lips curve into a soft smile, his gaze tender as he leans down, brushing light kisses along the curve of your neck. The sensation sends waves of laughter bubbling out of you, light and breathless, as the tickle of his lips spreads joy and heat all at once. He keeps moving lower, trailing kisses down your body like a map only he knows how to navigate.
When he reaches the waistband of your pants, he pauses, eyes flicking up to meet yours, his breath warm against your skin. âCan I?â he asks, his voice both eager and gentle.
âYes,â you whisper, and as he unbuttons your pants, you arch your back to help him slide them off, heart racing. He pauses again, staring for a moment, captivated by the sight of you, the evidence of your desire already showing.
âYouâre so wet, baby,â he says, his voice hushed and full of wonder. âAll for me?â
You nod, breath hitching, your body already trembling with need. âYes, Joon. You make me so damn wet,â you pant, writhing beneath him, desperate for more. âPlease, just touch me.â
His gaze darkens with lust as he licks his lips, then dips his head lower, trailing kisses across your stomach, inching closer to where you need him most. Every touch sends sparks of pleasure through you, and you giggle softly, unable to contain the lightness you feel even as desire coils tighter within you. His lips press against the hem of your lace panties, nothing extravagant, yet he looks at you like youâre the most exquisite thing heâs ever seen.
With agonizing slowness, he hooks his fingers into the waistband, pulling them down with deliberate care. The cool air of your apartment contrasts sharply with the warmth between your thighs, and you gasp, aching for him. You feel exposed, vulnerable, but in the most delicious wayâhis gaze heavy with desire as he takes you in.
âJoonieâŠâ you moan softly, voice trembling, as his eyes linger on your glistening pussy, admiring you. You wonder if he finds you beautiful like this, spread bare before him, and his awestruck expression tells you everything.
âDamn,â he whispers, voice thick with astonishment. âYouâre so pretty⊠already dripping with need.â
Your breath catches as his words wash over you, and when he asks, âCan I taste you? Can I touch you?â you can barely manage a nod as you spread your legs wider, inviting him in.
âPlease,â you beg, feeling delirious with want, every nerve in your body alight with anticipation.
His touch is featherlight at first, a single finger brushing over your swollen clit, sending a sharp jolt of pleasure through you. You flinch, already overly sensitive, a gasp falling from your lips as your body responds immediately.
âMore,â you plead, rolling your hips into his hand, urging him to press harder, to give you what you crave.
His fingers glide over you, warm and sure, stroking your slick skin with precision. Every movement sets off another spark, and a moan escapes youâhigh-pitched, breathy, and filled with need. His touch is both tender and demanding, and with every stroke, you feel yourself unraveling, caught in the storm of pleasure.
His fingers continue their rhythm, rolling over your sensitive clit with perfect precision, each movement making it throb with want. Your body reacts instinctively, hips rising to meet his touch, chasing moreâchasing everything. You need all of him, and the craving is almost unbearable.
Namjoon watches you with an intensity that makes your pulse quicken, his eyes filled with both desire and wonder as he works you with his fingers, and then, slowly, his lips find the tender skin of your inner thigh. His kisses are featherlight, but they leave a trail of fire in their wake, and you tremble under his touch. With each kiss, he moves closer, until finally, his mouth finds your pussy, his warm tongue lapping at your slick folds, tasting you with reverence.
He groans, the sound vibrating against your core, and your hands instinctively tangle in his hair, pulling him closer, as if you want him to drown in your pleasure. His tongue flicks over your sensitive nub, teasing, tasting, and the sensation makes your whole body tense in anticipation. His fingers slide to your entrance, probing gently before slipping inside, one at a time. The stretch feels divine, his fingers curling to reach deeper, and soon two, then three fill you, stretching you in the most perfect, delicious way.
Your toes curl, your breath comes in ragged gasps as you feel the wave of your climax building, rising with every flick of his tongue, every stroke of his fingers. âJoon,â you gasp, a warning, but he only sucks harder, his lips and tongue working in tandem as his fingers thrust deeper, hitting that spot inside you that sends you spiraling.
The world tilts, and your back arches as the orgasm crashes through you, white-hot and electric. You thrash beneath him, pulling at his hair as pleasure floods your body, and all you can do is moan his name in a broken, breathless whisper. Even as your body shudders, he doesnât stop, his mouth still on your clit, drawing out every last wave until youâre trembling with overstimulation. You tap his shoulder weakly, and finally, he pulls back, his face glistening with your slick, eyes dark with satisfaction.
âSo pretty,â he murmurs, his hand brushing softly over your thigh, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. His touch is light, reverent, and though youâre still floating in the bliss of your release, you feel the need to return the favor rise within you.
âLet me take care of you,â you whisper, your voice thick with desire as you shift, pushing him down beside you. He opens his mouth to protest, but the words are swallowed by a low groan as you straddle his lap, feeling the hard bulge of his cock press against your wet core. You grind down on him, teasing him with the friction, and he lets out a ragged moan that makes your pulse quicken.
âI just want to make you feel good,â you murmur, pressing a kiss to his lips, tasting yourself on him. âI donât know how mermen make love, but as humansâI want you to feel good too.â
He chuckles softly, his hands resting on your hips, eyes dark with hunger. âItâs definitely not the same,â he admits, voice low and breathless, and thatâs all the encouragement you need. You slide down his lap to the floor, your eyes locked on his, your intentions clear.
Your fingers find the waistband of his shorts, and he helps you pull them down, revealing his muscular thighs. When you see the thick outline of his cock straining against his boxers, your mouth waters, anticipation making your pulse quicken. Tugging down the last barrier, you free him, and his cock springs forward, thick and long, the head flushed red with need. A bead of precum glistens at the tip, and your breath hitches at the sight of him, hunger twisting deep inside you.
You lick your lips, your hands moving with purposeâone resting on his thigh, the other wrapping around the thick base of his shaft, feeling the weight of him in your palm. Slowly, you begin to pump, your fingers sliding over the velvety skin as you build a steady rhythm.
Namjoon groans, the sound so deep it reverberates through your core, and you can feel him tense beneath your touch, his body reacting to every stroke. His groans are like music, deep and sinful, and they make you want to push him further, to hear more of those primal, desperate sounds spill from his lips.
Damn, you need more of him.
You glance up at him, mischief in your eyes as you give a playful wink before taking him into your mouth. The taste is salty, a mix of his precum and something else, something almost elemental, as if the sea still clings to him. It sends a shiver down your spine, urging you to lose yourself in the act. You move with intent, your lips and tongue working in unison, breathing deeply through your nose as you take him deeper, each stroke making his body tremble beneath you.
He gasps your name, his voice barely a whisper, like itâs the only thing tethering him to the moment. His hands find their way to your hair, gentle, not controllingâjust resting there as if heâs entranced by the sight of you. He glances down, watching the way your mouth moves over him, and his breath quickens, as if the very air has become too thin.
âFuck,â he groans, voice strained, âyouâre so damn good at this.â
You smirk inwardly, already knowing, but the praise sends a thrill through you. Thereâs something intoxicating about the way he fills your mouth, the way you feel him pulse against your tongue. It makes you wonder how your pussy will take him, how itâll feel when heâs buried deep inside you, stretching you wide.
Youâre making a mess of himâyour saliva slicks his length, dripping down onto the sheetsâbut you donât care. Not when heâs like this, writhing beneath you, his muscles taut with need. Your hand moves lower, cupping his balls, rolling them gently in your palm, and you feel them tighten as he draws closer to the edge.
âDamn,â he rasps, voice rough with desire, âyou look and feel so fucking amazing.â
The sound of his praise sends another wave of heat rushing through you, making you wetter, a needy ache building low in your belly. You take him deeper, determined, your throat tightening as you try to swallow him down. But your gag reflex protests, and you pull back slightly, not wanting to push too far. Instead, you focus on teasing the head, your tongue circling slowly before flicking across his sensitive frenulum. He groans sharply, his hips jerking, and you canât help the soft giggle that escapes you.
Heâs unraveling, his control slipping, and you love itâlove the power you hold over him in this moment, love seeing him lost in you.
Suddenly, his hands come to your cheeks, stilling your movements as he looks down at you with hooded eyes, his chest heaving with shallow breaths. âBaby,â he rasps, his voice thick with both lust and affection, âyouâre dangerous with that mouth. If you keep going, Iâm going to come right down your throat⊠and I want to make love and come inside you.â
You release him with a soft pop, a teasing smirk playing on your lips as you lick them slowly, savoring the taste of him. âYou can always come down my throat later,â you murmur, your voice low and sultry. Rising to your feet, you peel off your shirt, followed by the clasp of your bra, letting it fall to the floor. Your breasts spill free, and the heat in Namjoonâs gaze intensifies as his hands instinctively find your hips, his grip firm yet tender.
âIs every inch of you just perfect?â he breathes, awe in his voice. The compliment sends a flush of warmth to your cheeks, and you chuckle softly, not answering because his words feel rhetorical, like theyâre part of the worship thatâs building between you.
Instead, you lean down to kiss him, pouring every bit of your desire into it. His cock twitches beneath you, hard and throbbing against your thighs, but you take your time, savoring the kissâlong, slow, and tender. You straddle him, hovering just above his cock, your body aching to sink down, to feel him inside you. But instead, you pause, letting yourself get lost in the depth of his gaze, his eyes like molten gold, swirling with emotion.
He kisses you again, his lips soft but insistent, and in that moment, you feel weightless. Like youâre floating, caught in a current, drifting between pleasure and affection. You feel cherished, like a treasure heâs unearthed from the depths of the oceanâglimmering, precious, and adored like the gems youâve been collecting.
He groans, a deep, feral sound vibrating from his chest, and his hands tighten around your hips, the pressure promising bruises thatâll bloom as tender reminders of this moment. âI donât know what youâre doing to me, baby,â he pants, his eyes dark and hooded with lust, as if heâs trying to memorize every curve of your face. His lips search for yours, hungry, desperate to close the space between you again.
âLikewise,â you breathe out, your voice shaky, your pulse racing. One of your hands trails down his body, fingers grazing his taut abdomen before wrapping around the thick length of him. You lift yourself slightly, feeling the heat of him against you. Just as youâre about to guide him inside, his deep voice cuts through the haze of desire.
âShould we use a condom?â he asks, his words momentarily shattering the tension, leaving the air thick but still.
You blink, slightly caught off guard, but quickly recover. âWe donât have to,â you murmur, sensing his hesitation. His brow furrows, so you add, âI have an IUD, and Iâm clean. Itâs⊠itâs been a long time for me.â Your words taper off, embarrassment creeping into your cheeks, suddenly feeling vulnerable beneath his gaze.
He studies you for a second, his expression softening before that same, dark hunger returns. âOkay, I just wanted to make sure,â he rumbles, his voice like molten velvet, sending shivers racing down your spine. The sound of him, the depth of his tone, makes your body respond instinctivelyâyour pussy clenches with anticipation, aching for him to fill the emptiness inside you. âItâs been a long time for me, too. So, Iâm sorry if I donât last longâŠâ
You shake your head, silencing his concern with a gaze that speaks louder than words. You need him, now. The heat between you both is unbearable, every second a sweet kind of torture. You guide the head of his cock to your entrance, teasing yourself by gliding him along your folds, feeling his hardness slick against your wetness, sending delicious tremors through your body.
Slowly, you position him at your opening and sink down.
The stretch is exquisiteâa burn that ignites every nerve as he fills you inch by glorious inch. Heâs thick, and the sensation of him sliding deeper feels like nothing youâve ever known. Your breath catches in your throat, and you swear you hear him curse under his breath, his grip on your hips tightening as he savors the feel of your walls closing around him.
âFuckâŠ,â he groans, his voice wrecked, vibrating through you like a shockwave. âSo damn tight.â
âYeahâŠâ you pant, your head spinning, your body adjusting to his size. Inch by agonizing inch, until finally, heâs fully seated inside you. You pause, trembling, your insides fluttering as he twitches deep within. You let out a soft moan, your lips searching for his in a fevered kiss, one that feels more like a collision than anything tender.
When you pull away, your gaze locks with his, your voice barely above a whisper. âYou feel so fucking good⊠like youâve always belonged there.â
He hums in response, his eyes half-lidded with pleasure as he traces your body with his hands, unable to take in enough of you. âYouâre perfect,â he breathes, the words low and reverent.
Bracing your hands on his broad shoulders, you lift yourself slowly, your body trembling with anticipation. Then, with a burst of need, you slam down, impaling yourself on his cock, a scream of pleasure ripping from your throat. Namjoon moans, the sound guttural and raw, as you ride him with renewed vigor, losing yourself in the rhythm.
Your breasts bounce with each thrust, catching his attention, and without hesitation, his hands move to cup them. His lips trail down to one nipple, his mouth warm and eager as he takes it between his lips. You gasp at the sensation, a surge of heat flooding your core, and you feel a gush of wetness coat him as your body responds to his touch. You didnât realize youâd come until the tremors hit, your pussy clenching tightly around him, your body quivering in waves of pleasure.
His tongue circles your nipple, flicking it gently before his teeth graze the sensitive bud, and the sensation sends you spiraling. Your breath stutters as he switches to your other breast, his hands roaming, kneading your skin, every touch heightening the electricity between you. Just as his mouth closes around your other nipple, his teeth accidentally bite down harder than intended, and a sharp cry escapes your lipsâhis name, ripped from your throat like a plea and a curse all at once.
He freezes, eyes wide, concern flashing across his face. But the look you give himâwild, consumed with lustâtells him everything he needs to know.
âIâm so fucking sorryâ,â he gasps, but his words barely register through the haze of pleasure clouding your mind. Your gaze softens, your eyes half-lidded with desire, a gentle delirium swirling in their depths.
âNo, no, it was good, Joonie,â you whisper, your voice a breathy melody. Your hand drifts to the nape of his neck, fingers tangling in the damp strands of his hair, tugging lightly. âI loved it.â
He pauses, a chuckle rumbling from deep within his chest, and you feel the twitch of his cock still buried inside you, a silent promise of more. His lips descend to your chest again, worshipping your skin with slow, languid kisses. His tongue finds your nipple, teasing it with a delicate flick before sucking, nipping just enough to make you moan his name, the sound a song on your lips.
Your body trembles, another orgasm crashing over you like a summer storm, your walls tightening around him in waves of bliss. He groans, a low, primal sound vibrating through your entire being. âFuck, youââ His voice breaks with need as he rises from the bed, lifting you effortlessly, his body still entwined with yours. In one swift motion, he turns and lays you back down, pressing you into the sheets, his hips surging forward with raw intensity.
âThis fucking pussy,â he growls, the words so feral, so laced with hunger that it sends a jolt of heat through you, your toes curling as your body responds to the deep, relentless thrusts. You moan, overwhelmed by the sensation of being pushed up the bed, your fingers gripping the sheets in desperation. Could you come again? Already, your body is teetering on the edge, caught in the rhythm of his passion.
He leans down, his breath hot against your ear. âYou look so gorgeous, baby,â he rasps, each word dripping with lust as his hips drive into you again, leaving you breathless, your chest heaving as though all the air has been stolen from your lungs.
âAre you gonna come again?â he asks, his voice rough with need. You bite your lip, uncertain if you can, but the fire in your core tells you otherwise. Your hand slips between your bodies, fingers seeking out your clit. Everything is so slick, so impossibly wet, but you manage to find that perfect rhythm, circling the sensitive nub as your breath hitches in your throat.
Itâs like the tide pulling you underâa tidal wave of pleasure crashing over you with blinding force. Your orgasm overtakes you, your body shaking beneath him as you cry out his name, each syllable a desperate plea, a prayer to the god of ecstasy. You thrash beneath him, lost in the throes of release, and still, he keeps thrusting, deep and deliberate, as your body flutters around him, the aftershocks rippling through you.
âFuck, that was so hot,â he groans, his voice thick with desire as his cock twitches inside you, on the edge of release. âIâm not gonna last much longer.â With a final, powerful thrust, he spills into you, his warm seed filling you as his orgasm hits him hard, his body trembling with the force of it. His faceâgod, itâs beautiful in this momentâthe way his lips part, how his brow furrows in pleasure, how he keeps moving, riding out the last waves of his climax until he begins to soften inside you.
Both of you are left panting, gasping for air like youâve surfaced from the depths of the sea. He collapses beside you, pulling you close, your bodies still warm, still trembling. Your chests rise and fall in sync, the silence between you heavy with shared satisfaction.
âThat was amazing,â he murmurs, his voice a soft rasp against your ear.
You chuckle, cheeks flushed and glowing. âYes⊠we should definitely do that again.â
He turns on his side, his fingers brushing your arm tenderly as he gazes at you, eyes filled with warmth. âWe really should.â
But then, out of nowhere, a ripple of anxiety courses through you, tightening your chest. You turn to him, your heart suddenly heavy. âCan we really make this work?â you ask, your voice small, vulnerable. âYou, being a merman⊠and me, human?â
Namjoonâs expression softens, his gaze tender as he leans in, pressing a gentle kiss to the tip of your nose. His hands trace soothing circles along your back, grounding you in the moment. âYes,â he whispers, his voice filled with quiet certainty. âDonât worry, baby. Weâll make it work. We have to.â
In his arms, wrapped in the warmth of his embrace, the world feels possible again.
â Taglist: @allie-is-a-panda @jeonsbabygirlsworld @bangtannie7 @suker4angst â Disclaimer: the banner is obviously partly made with AIâ I just want to point that out, to clear the air. Iâd normally never use AI in my work, but for this specific fantasy series, I just came up really sort with making them myself with pre existing images of bangtan đ Because I want a certain aesthetic (no, a moodboard is not what I was looking for), I decided to use AI to crunch out the mermanâ I did not, and I repeat this, I did not write any of their names for the prompts, which is also why I do not want to show any faces in these banners, because I know how the guys feel about making AI with them, and I agree. Which is why, this is in short just generically made images that are prompted by a scene in the story. In the end, I still made the bannerâ did retouching, color grading, added and/or removed stuff, added background etc. Just to let you know. Normally, all my banners and graphics are made by me, unless otherwise stated! (lol, what I mean here is that Iâm making them myself, I still sometimes use stock photos and vectors made by others in my work (the banners)). â Authorâs note(2): Only four mermaid stories left now! đ„łI hope youâll like the other ones as well, and please let me know what you liked; youâre always welcome to leave me a comment, a reblog or an ask đ„° Thank you so much for reading, love you đ
#namjoon x reader#namjoon scenario#kim namjoon smut#namjoon scenarios#namjoon smut#namjoon fanfic#namjoon x y/n#namjoon x you#kim namjoon x reader#kim namjoon fic#namjoon fic#namjoon fluff#namjoon angst#knj smut#knj x reader#knj fluff#bts smut fic#bts smut#bts fic#rm smut#rm x reader#rm fanfic#rm fic#bts fanfic#bts x reader#bts imagine#bts x you#bangtan fanfic#bangtan fic#bangtan smut
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series summary. the holy grail of the seven men who ruled the country's entertainment used to be your friends at school. now, ten years later and between successes and failures, what reason would they have to want to come back into your life? pairing. eventually ot7 x f!reader... or not? content. first of all, english is not my first language so sorry for any mistakes! curse words, flashback, a lot of remorse, fights, stubborn people, lack of communication, angst. a/n. its finally here. i haven't re read this chapter bc im almost falling asleep and i have to work tomorrow, but i'll give this one another look in the weekend. a friend of mine helped me with the traduction bc i'm really really burnt out rn. also, chapters names changed!! i hope you guys like this one! see you on the next oneđ«¶đ»
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âOppaâŠâ
Yoongi raised his head, his body leaning toward the piano acknowledging your presence in the room, and you could tell how he was physically struggling to move away from the instrument. Under his watchful gaze, you walked in his direction shuffling your feet, with a pitiful expression and every intention of openly complaining to one of the elders in your group of friends. But you relaxed your expression when you were a few steps away, recognizing his notebook on the piano lid and the trail of ink between his fingers at a safe distance from the keys.
His laughter confused you, and when you looked up, his lips were curved into a pretty smile. It was annoying. He was only two years older than you.
âWhat happened now?â
You remembered that you had come with a purpose, but your mind, as evasive and suggestible as ever, found more interest in what your eyes had caught.
âThe usual,â you barely commented, moving to sit on your legs in front of Yoongi. âWere you writing?â
Yoongi glanced over to find his notebook, his shoulders shaking in a sigh because he knew he wouldn't be able to escape this conversation now that you had discovered him.
âSomething like thatâŠâ
âCan I see it?â
âIt's nothing decent. I don't think it's prudent.â
You pressed your lips together at his response, letting your shoulders droop, disappointed. But it was what you had expected; after all, Yoongi was quite secretive about his notebook, and it was rare for him to let you get this close and know so much about him. Even though you had probably known each other since you learned to swim and multiply, and surely knew more skeletons in his closet than he would like to admit, Yoongi still had a reluctance to show you or anyonw his writings. You had to catch him at a very relaxed moment.
So you set aside your emotions, not allowing Yoongi to respond as you pouted, and crossed your arms while turning your head away.
âTaehyung and Jungkook got so competitive on the court that they kicked us all out,â you frowned, remembering how the two had rushed past you and stolen the ball in the blink of an eye, moving so quickly and with cheeky laughter that you barely understood what was happening until you saw them tussling with the ball in front of the scoring area.
They were already in extracurricular hours, and although everyone had subjects to study and delve into, they decided to take a moment to take advantage of the fact that the school court would be empty and play for a while. Jin and Namjoon had left the game after two quarters because they simply couldn't keep up, and since one was in your group with Jimin and the other with the two kings of competition that day, they decided to kick them out and leave them as referees along with Hobi, who was the initial one.
Surprisingly, Yoongi also didnât attend the game or his extracurricular class, choosing to get lost in the music room, taking advantage of the fact that it was empty that day because classes ended early.
âI donât understand why they have to ruin everyoneâs fun.â
Your little thirteen-year-old self, ignorant of many aspects of life, could only cross her arms and complain. Yoongi smiled, his two extra years of age giving him an understanding that perhaps you didnât have access to, because it was inconceivable to you that such a sacrilege could be considered funny. Basketball hours were sacred!
âThey're just messing around.â
âOppa, you should've seen how they were pushing each other,â you shook your head, refusing to believe that Yoongi really wanted to defend them. âIf you had been there, you could've stopped them.â
âAnd Jin?â
âHe was laughing with them.â
âAh,â Yoongi turned his head. âSo the second best option was me?â
You shrugged. âWell, I thought I could convince you to go to the court, butâŠâ
âButâŠ?â Yoongi rested a hand on the bench, leaning in to see you on the floor.
âMaybe itâs more fun to listen to you play the piano.â
You smiled brightly, intertwining your fingers while Yoongi wore a half-smile. Without responding, he straightened up again, adopting the posture he had when you saw him through the glass of the door, before you interrupted his concentration. His fingers danced in the air for a few seconds, touching the notes in his head, recalling sound after sound, until the pressure on them gave way to a melody unknown to you.
It had to be a new piece, a new composition in his notebook. Yoongi played, calm and serene, focused and absorbed, letting the sound flow as if it came directly from nature.
Seeing Yoongi like this was⊠a strange event. Later, as time passed, you would think it was unbearable to have to see him everywhere, to hear his name around every corner, but at that moment you were lost in him, absorbing the sounds of his mind that his fingers materialized on the piano, allowing yourself to be carried away by the tide of his emotions, the way he conveyed so many words with his touches. The fast and slow notes, the change of tempo, all so meticulously created and organized to send a message, to describe an emotion, to paint a scene.
Yoongi was scared. Perhaps nervous, even. When he finished his piece, you could only look at him in awe, his shoulders moving a little faster due to the intensity with which he finished, keeping his head down, as if processing what he had just done. His fear was palpable, his hopelessness and unease.
âOppa?â
âI donât knowâŠâ he paused, dropping the lid over the keys and taking a calmer posture. âI donât know if Iâll do the right thing when I graduate.â
âWhy?â your brow furrowed, and you leaned forward in concern. âYouâve always talked about it. And you have a lot of talent, oppa, I know youâll make it.â
Yoongi gave a nearly pained smile, as if he understood something you had no idea about.
âJin is going to medical school.â
âI know. But itâs what heâs passionate about,â you moved closer to your friend, trying to give him some of the support he always gave you. âIsnât music what youâre passionate about?â
The black-haired boy frowned. The answer was clear in his eyes, in the way he played the piano until he was breathless, but the gestures of his doubts were there too: when his fingers trembled with anxiety, his eyes gaining more shine as the seconds passed.
âOppa,â you called, trying to break the silence, trying to prevent his thoughts from eating him alive. âIf itâs what you love, youâll succeed. Iâm sure of that.â
You saw how the haze in his eyes disappeared, his features relaxing at least a little.
âI probably only have your support. Iâll have to rely on that.â
His small smile constricted your heart. In that moment, you didnât know what you could do to show him that it was enough, but you were also unaware of the reality that his words held. It was probably due to your age, the age difference with Yoongi, but you couldnât shake the feeling that he would never be completely satisfied with that. You wondered if it was about you, just for a second, recalling the way he smiled when some of the other boys gave him words of encouragement.
Maybe he was just more vulnerable with you than with the others, but a thirteen-year-old's reasoning didn't go that far.
With your foolish conclusion, you came home that day with a heavy heart.
-
Speaking of loose ends and unresolved issues, there were some specific people who deserved to take home the award and the crown for the most intrigue of the century. Because when you entered Choi Dohyun's office, with Seojun and Yuna on either side, even knowing that there were things still pending answers and others you could barely understand, the last thing you expected was for those you werenât even aware of to suddenly materialize, like a kick to the stomach.
But keeping your head high and your composure was something you had lacked the last time, and thus, against all odds, your face showed no emotion when you caught a glimpse of Min Yoongi storming out of the office looking angry, not even when his eyes moved towards your figure and his wires crossed for a millisecond, betraying his movements. The sound of his shoes against the floor didnât even distract you, keeping your gaze fixed on the man who appeared behind the door, with a huge smile on his face and eyes that screamed that signing this contract might take more from you than it would give.
Min Yoongi flanked you, a nearly imperceptible gasp of surprise escaping him as you passed by his side, not even giving him a glance of acknowledgment over your shoulder, as if he were less than a mere insignificant dust particle, and he collected himself as best he could to keep walking, ignoring the astonished looks your companions shot him.
You flashed the biggest smile, a feeling of anger settling deep in your stomach, and you shook hands with Choi Dohyun, who was cheerfully introducing himself with a voice an octave higher than usual.
You didnât miss the way he shot a glance down the hallway, where Min Yoongi should have been disappearing, and the bitter sensation in your throat intensified.
âWell, donât take it the wrong way, Iâm very happy because we finally have this,â Yuna beamed, raising the envelope with the contract as if it were her most cherished possession, just as they exited the large publishing house and the cool afternoon air greeted them, âbut did we just see the damn Min Yoongi leave that office?â
You simply sighed, feeling the tension radiate from your brotherâs body, who hadnât separated from you since the moment you were ushered away by Choi Dohyun's secretary.
âThat was⊠wow. I donât even have words.â
Seojun rolled his eyes, and you had to suppress the urge to pinch his side when Yuna turned to look at you with the envelope in her hands while you all waited to see your fatherâs blue car navigate the avenue.
âDo you think⊠this means weâll have more opportunities to meet the seven gods of Olympus than most people?â
Her smile made you feel nauseous, but out of her ignorance, you could do nothing but try to mimic it. Seojun, on the other hand, was making nothing but irritated faces.
âMaybe, if you work harder.â
Yuna let out another squeal of excitement, and you took a deep breath when she turned around to look at the cars again. Seojun wrapped his arm around yours, glaring at anyone who came too close, even by accident.
Your friend kept murmuring in disbelief, and all you could think was that she was probably holding in her hands the worst decision you had ever made.
-
Whatever the reason for your encounter with Min Yoongi, you had deduced that your bad luck came down to being out of the house. Putting a foot outside the holy altar of your home was proving lethal for your emotional stability, so you spent the rest of the day locked up, managing your social media and overseeing deliveries.
Dohyun had agreed that the publishing house would handle the entire printing, packaging, and shipping process of the books, as purchases were only growing with each passing day. His real offer was to leave you with nothing to do but continue planning your stories, because at that moment, you were a goldmine for him.
âUnbelievable! Jung Hoseok revealed the truth behind the distancing of the Korean entertainment dynasty.â
The voice coming from Yunaâs phone caught your attention. You lifted your head from the blank document on your computer screen, glancing sideways at your friend, who was comfortably sprawled on your bed with a furrowed brow and a conflicted expression, as intrigued as she was worried about what she had just heard.
âThese past few days have been tough for the kings of entertainment, as the last public sighting of them was over a week ago when Kim Namjoon, Min Yoongi, and Jeon Jungkook left the businessmanâs building and enthusiastically greeted all their fans. As good followers, we know itâs too strange not to see them often, and the last time this happened was when Jung Hoseok had the accident that prevented him from continuing to play professional tennis.â
Yuna looked intensely focused, biting her nail and awaiting the climax of the video. You couldnât help but roll your eyes, but you couldnât deny you were a bit curious about what news they would share, knowing that the boys werenât ones to openly discuss their private matters.
âWith their reputations at stake and rumors flying back and forth [how exaggerated], Jung Hoseok had to come out to clarify the situation. His official statement, which was informally published on the famous app Whotalks, said: âWeâre all fine. Please be patient with us.â Whether his statement implies misunderstandings among friends that are in the process of being resolved or if we should wait for an official statement from their leader, weâre not sure. But itâs concerning theââ
âWhy would they make such a big deal about this if they arenât even sure what that post implies?â
Yuna paused the video, giving you a confused look, surely thinking you were immersed in whatever you were doing on the computer (nothing), too busy to pay attention to these âinsignificances,â as you used to say.
âY/N, you really have no idea of the magnitude of power these men hold over the entertainment industry. With a snap of their fingers, they could shake everything.â
âAnd why did they get so much power?â
âThey earned it. Through their hard work.â
You couldnât help the huff that escaped you. You didnât find what Yuna had said funny because it was true; they had worked incredibly hard to achieve what they had at that moment. At least you knew that their beginnings had been humble. But it annoyed you, inevitably, because you couldnât control the resentment shaking in your chest. Healing my ass, you hadnât forgotten anything from the last few years, no matter how much you wanted to convince yourself otherwise. So much effort to force them out of your life, only for them to find a way to disrupt it again in a week as if they had some right.
What a bunch of audaciousâ
âOh. A message came in.â
Your friend sat up on the bed, and you sent her a confused look.
âMessages come in every second, Yuna.â
âItâs from a verified account.â
Without lifting her gaze in your direction, you froze in your chair.
âOhââ
Oh no.
âNo fucking wayââ Yuna stood up in the bed, exclaiming loudly: âKim Taehyung is in your DM's!â
âTell him to go to hell.â
â¿¿Huh??â
The words slipped out before you could think twice. From the tense way the words left your mouth, you could tell Yuna was torn between asking more or simply contradicting you. Her eyes moved from the screen to your face, her fingers moving almost imperceptibly over the device.
âYou know, every time you make it harder to understand whatâs going on with these people.â
Finally, she locked her phone and dropped it on one of your pillows. You had never been a fan; your friend understood that. She had never questioned you about it⊠except for that random afternoon in this same room when she asked too many questions, but after the encounter with Yoongi that afternoon, you wondered what moment or what would need to happen for her to stop believing that it was just a matter of taste differences and for you to have to tell her the truth.
Before everything that happened a week ago, you had never considered it necessary to talk about it because so much time had passed, and you believed you were at a point where things related to them really didnât affect you anymore, nor would you ever have to interact with them again to warrant giving your friend a statement. But of course, things were different now, and emotions would continue to clash with one another, and you hated to think that their attitudes meant they were trying to return to your life, or at least get involved to some extent, which would imply, strongly, that you would have to tell Yuna what had happened.
âHave you ever thought that you might have run into him if you had gone to the convention?â
âYeah...â you sighed in defeat. It was impossible not to consider that alternative, how things might have turned out. If you would still have this overwhelming resentment in your chest or if they would have carved their way back into your heart once more.
The foolish you at eighteen would be thrilled right now.
âAnd even with that doubt... donât you have even a little curiosity about what he says?â
You preferred not to, to be honest. You would rather just rip out every memory from your head with tweezers to be able to return to a semi-normal life, where your biggest worry should be saving enough for a trip and not when those damn lunatics were going to leave you alone.
But you found yourself stretching out your arm to take the phone when Yuna handed it to you, a grimace of insecurity settling on your face.
âIâm not going to ask,â Yuna spoke, and you sent her a glance just as she turned on the bed and took her own phone to continue watching her celebrity gossip. âIâm not going to pressure you.â
You didnât respond. You lowered your gaze to the device in your hands, feeling a mix of relief and bitterness. Well, at least she had given you the opportunity to worry about that later.
The screen lit up, and there it was. A new message from Kim Taehyung.
thv Hi. Itâs Jimin.
Huh?
You ?
The read notification arrived almost instantly after you replied. With your brow furrowed, you watched the bubble appear from his side of the chat.
thv Iâm sorry for writing from Taeâs account, but you blocked me
Ah. Ah. Right.
After receiving the notification that Jungkook had followed you a few days ago, and especially because he had shown up at your work out of nowhere short after that, you had blocked everyone else with an Instagram account, just to be safe.
A small detail.
You Oh, yeah
That Jimin was trying to contact you, considering the context of the whole situation, wasnât too outrageous. When you studied together, apart from being the first to start teasing others and fostering friendly banter, he was also the first to try to fix things because he couldnât stand hostile and tense environments. Itâs not that you thought he had a chance to fix anything now, but maybe you were a little interested in what he had to say. After several days, it was inevitable not to feel curious, right?
After the bubble appeared and disappeared several times, the message finally arrived.
thv Do you think we could talk in person?
You No.
thv I promise it'll just be me
You No.
thv It can be anywhere you choose
You I said no If you have something to say, write it If you donât have anything interesting to say, then Iâm going to block this account too
thv No Wait Okay.
The sound of Yunaâs phone had faded into the background of your mind. You kept your eyes on the typing bubble, fearing that maybe Jimin would change his mind and decide not to respond to the questions swirling in your head. Now that he was being so persistent, you were more eager to know. I mean, it was the least you deserved, right? Some kind of answer, some kind of reason, a why. Something to explain everything, because the root of that growing resentment in your chest was due to their lack of communication, to their ease in discarding you like a worthless piece of paper, not even caring if the air swept you away or the rain destroyed you.
They owed you something, and you had the right to an answer. You could have moved on, yes; you thought you had, yes; living with resentment in your heart affected a personâs life, yes... but God would be the only living being on earth and in the universe who wouldnât feel even a pinch of pain for everything that had happened. For the inexplicable disappearance, for the disconnection, for the destruction of an incredible blind trust that was woven with that friendship you believed to be unconditional but ended up being one-sided. Who could really blame you for being cautious of them?
If when you cultivated that friendship, that friendly love, the fruits they returned to you were rotten, how could you simply trust? Who could?
thv Iâm sorry for what happened. I know this was very abrupt, and it must have been strange for you
Strange, for lack of a better word. Strange was a euphemism.
thv I apologize on behalf of everyone.
You Iâm not interested
thv If we could meet in person, I could explain better
You Iâm not interested. That wouldnât change anything.
thv I know this goes beyond what happened this week, but I donât want you to have a bad impression
You Youâre a damn audacious one, Jimin Do you think itâs only the latest thing that would make me see you all negatively? Is that the only thing youâve done? Or well, what you havenât done either
thv Okay, I expressed myself very poorly I know we were already on bad terms before; I meant that I didnât want it to get worse
You Well, honestly, I didnât think it could get worse until now.
thv Iâm making it worse
You Wow, apparently you do have awareness and common sense For many years, I thought you lacked that
You blocked the phone, letting it drop onto the table, your heart racing because of the audacity that man had to refer to what had happened as if it were just a silly childhood memory, as if it had simply been a stupid basketball game where you werenât allowed to play. That only reinforced your thinking, the only plausible reason you had given life to over the past few years, the only explanation you had for their disappearance: that they never cared about you as much as you did about them; that you were never truly fundamental in their lives. Because, come on, they had built a friendship and shared memories before you appeared on the scene; they knew each other beforehand with a depth you could never reach, long before your name reached their ears. They had a connection; you were never ignorant of that; there was something in them that kept them united, something that made them understand each other almost on a spiritual level, and naively, you believed they had made you a part of it; that you had managed to be part of that connection.
But no, it was never like that. It was always one-sided. Whether you were a game, a case of charity, or someone they simply couldnât say no to, you had no idea, but none of those options felt too foreign to reality. Especially considering the way Jimin referred to the past as if it had been a child's game and nothing more. There was never more for them. You should've known that.
thv Iâm really sorry, y/n I truly wish I could talk to you in person I promise I can explain many things
His messages shone on the lock screen, and more than feeling curious again, you felt rage. So now they could talk. Now they could fucking communicate. Where was that willingness ten years ago? Five years ago, even? You never thought you would see any of them so willing to offer you what you had longed for, maybe at least to finally bring closure to the whole situation.
But you didnât want to give them the right to become the victims in this situation. They had time to do something, yes, now you knew, and they simply chose not to; it was high time you really let it go. Let them go. What would an explanation fix now? When, if there was still something of the friendship you built, it should've crumbled to dust. Their willingness now meant nothing. If you ever saw any of them again, you would rather rip their hair out in a fit of rage.
You Fuck you Fuck all of you
And you blocked Taehyungâs account.
Anticipating any possibility, you also blocked Jungkook and hoped that would be the end of it.
Finally, you would try to seek true healing, because it was about damn time.
-
You y/n, I'm so sorry y/n? y/n????????????????
Oh no. Taehyung's going to kill me.
âWhat the hell are you doing?â
Speaking of the king of Rome.
Park Jimin flinched, tightening his fingers around the phone he was holding, which clearly wasnât his, literally caught red-handed. He swallowed hard when his friendâs footsteps drew closer, circling around to face what he feared most.
âJimin...â Taehyung began, his confused expression turning into caution, quickly shifting his gaze between the phone and the wide-eyed blonde. âTell me you didnât do it.â
Jimin shrank even more, pursing his lips, realizing there was no escape. In his defense, he had fervently believed for a moment that he would succeed. Taehyung hadnât agreed from the start, especially given how angry Yoongi had been that afternoon when he arrived at the penthouse and how he had locked himself in Namjoonâs office, and the tone of their voices hadnât diminished for even a second, especially not when Jin arrived an hour later.
Taehyung and Jimin werenât sure what had happened, but considering the recent events, they could make an educated guess.
It all led back to you.
They were surely paying for what they did.
âI told you it was a terrible idea!â Taehyung strode closer and snatched the phone from Jiminâs tightly clenched hands. Jimin let out a defeated sigh, sinking back against the couch as Taehyung began to scroll through the messages, growls escaping his throat.
âI didnât think sheâd be so...â
Jimin hesitated, and when he turned to look at his friend, his furrowed brow silently asked, âare you serious?â
Another defeated sigh escaped him.
âYouâre not fixing anything. If Namjoon finds out about this...â
Taehyung didnât finish his sentence, but Jimin understood. But could any of them really blame him? Let he who is without sin cast the first stone! No one was a saint in that place when it came to you. At least he had the decency to try to explain things when the others just charged in as if nothing had ever happened (for now, Taehyung and Jungkook, simply because he still had no idea what had happened with Yoongi).
The problem, of course, was that Jimin was better at comforting someone in person than through messages.
âThere's no going back from this.â Taehyung murmured, still focused on the screen. The shine in his eyes gave Jimin an idea of what was going through his mind, and he remained silent until Taehyung looked up. âWe really messed up.â
âDid you need this reality check?â
âDid you?â Taehyung frowned. âI donât know why you expected a different response.â
âWell, what did you expect to happen doing what you did?â
Jimin watched his friend click his tongue.
âWhat did you expect me to do? I didnât think it would snowball like this.â Taehyung shook his head, and Jimin barely recalled with a shudder how the atmosphere had felt in the penthouse after Tae had posted that story about your books on his Instagram. âI just wanted...â
Once again, Taehyung chose to remain silent, but in his absence of words, Jimin understood.
To make up for it.
âObviously, Iâm not going to say anything,â Taehyung added, shooting a sideways glance at his blonde friend. âAfter whatever happened with Yoongi, I donât even want to imagine how Namjoon would react if he finds out about this.â
âIf he finds out what?â
Jimin and Taehyung froze on the couch, watching through the reflection of the TV as the person appeared behind them before they could recognize the friendly yet concerned tone.
Jung Hoseok circled the couch, clearly troubled by what he had just heard. It was evident he had just returned from practice because his hair was wet and he looked somewhat flustered, his cheeks flushed despite the chilly weather that night. He dropped his training bag on one of the armchairs, and Jimin averted his gaze when he caught his friend's eyes. It wasn't that they usually kept secrets and tiptoed around the others, but ever since Jungkook had pulled that stunt of searching for you at work when Namjoon had expressly forbidden it, the waters between them had been a bit tense, and any topic involving you could explode any healthy and cooperative conversation in seconds.
Hoseok crossed his arms, allowing his cheerful expression at finally arriving at the penthouse to fade completely, hardening his features as he shot a stern look at the two young men.
Taehyung also averted his gaze. The moment he heard Hoseok's voice, he tucked the phone between his legs and probably looked tenser than he should have. He, just like Jimin, didnât dare meet Hoseokâs eyes at that moment. Because Hobi had stopped at the door, and with whom they had in front of them, they couldn't hesitate. They both knew it, they both understood.
And Hoseok knew very well. He was aware of all the tricks the two shared and could sense from their silence that they were up to something. Besides, of course, their conversation had been overly revealing. They had to be thankful it was him who arrived in the midst of their confessions, and of course, he would demand to have a conversation of such gravity with such freedom.
But no, in that house, secrets were not kept.
âIf he finds out what?â Hoseok emphasized the words, urging the stubborn young men to keep their mouths shut.
Hoseok then exhaled through his nose in a sigh.
âIs it about y/n?â
Jimin and Taehyung lifted their gazes, a bit tempted but diverting their eyes as if pretending to be uninterested. While the atmosphere had been very tense lately, Hoseok and Jin had kept themselves somewhat distanced from all that unease, mainly because their demanding jobs kept them away from the penthouse most of the time. Namjoon, for his part, couldnât escape the topic as easily since he had an office at home, initially to monitor them in a healthy way, and now because he felt the need to keep an eye on each of them to prevent them from doing something stupid.
Yoongi... well, maybe he had tried to stay on the sidelines, but he had clearly failed miserably if he had ended up arguing with Namjoon and Jin.
âWhat did you guys do now?â
Hoseok's severe tone was chilling. Jimin remembered the times he had decided to participate in his dance classes, the few that he taught personally each month, and how he had felt Hoseokâs sharp gaze and his blunt comments about his steps in front of all the students. It was as if he became another person. Although it was terrifying, the two young men admitted it was refreshing to see him like that in the academy, because he had lost a bit of his spark since his accident. Before, he only looked that serene and committed when he was at his tennis practice.
At that moment, however, Jimin and Taehyung appeared more reluctant despite his severe attitude, because they didnât know if he would spill the beans to Namjoon afterward.
âAnd what happened with Yoongi?â
The slight softness in his tone made Jimin lift his head. Still with his arms crossed over his chest, Hoseok sat across from them at the table in the center of the room.
Jimin sighed, and Taehyung shot him an alarmed look. Are we really going to give in this quickly?!
âWe donât know what happened with Yoongi. He just arrived in the afternoon, locked himself in the office with Namjoon, and they wouldnât stop arguing. Then Jin came in, but that didnât make them stop.â
Hoseok looked up, scanning the hallway. Now the house was silent, perhaps more grave and tense than usual. Hoseok didnât know how it had come to this and hadnât sensed that atmosphere immediately.
âIs Jin here?â
âI think heâs in his room,â Taehyung replied, shifting on the couch. âHe stormed out of the office a while ago.â
Hoseok grimaced at the mere thought, causing a shiver.
âThen it is about y/n.â
Jimin and Taehyung once again averted their gazes.
âOh, come on.â Hoseok uncrossed his arms, more frustrated than angry at that moment for not being able to fully understand what was causing so many arguments among his friends. âIâm not going to go talk to Namjoon later, regardless of what you tell me. I just want to understand.â
The two young men exchanged a glance, Hoseok believed, communicating mentally. It was always strange but interesting how those two could understand each other at such a level that often they didnât even need a look. They could support each other's ideas without overthinking it, just like they were doing at that moment in front of him, and Hoseok couldnât help but think that this topic could cause them more harm than they realized. That these two were even hesitant to share something with him now, fearing to do so, considering whom they could trust or not, spoke volumes about how this issue was being handled and it was not healthy at all.
Hoseok didnât know that Namjoon had been arguing. The only time he had talked about that topic with the others was when Jungkookâs incident happened, because by crossing such a clear and blatant line, Namjoon saw the need to have a group meeting to set some ground rules. But whatever had continued to happen that he was unaware of was creating cracks in the trust of all the members, and that didnât sit well with him at all.
âI wrote to her on Taehyungâs Instagram,â Jimin began, looking down with his hands intertwined on his legs. âAnd I might have made things a lot worse...â
âMight have?â Taehyung turned to look at the blonde, who barely raised his head to meet his gaze before Hoseok interrupted.
âAnd what did you say to her?â
Jimin pressed his lips together. âI asked if we could meet in person, and when she said no, I just tried to apologize for everything.â
âDonât forget that you proceeded to carry out a rather undisguised gaslighting.â Taehyung added.
âI didnât manipulate her!â
âYou spoke to her as if everything that happened didnât matter at all!â
âThatâs not how it was! I just expressed myself very poorly,â Jimin exclaimed, facing Taehyungâs accusations, who remained with his arms crossed and chin raised, clearly in disagreement with him. âYou, more than anyone, know that I donât communicate well through text.â
âBecause you overthink everything. You didnât even need to text her in the first place. I told you it was a terrible idea. Now she hates us even more!â
âDid she say that?â Hoseok intervened.
Taehyung gave him a disbelieving look.
âAnd I quote: fuck all of you.â
Hoseok took a deep breath, trying to process the situation. Taehyung looked angry, and Jimin appeared offended that Taehyung was so upset about what he had done, in addition to misrepresenting his words, if Hoseok understood correctly. But the brown-haired guy had a point: it had indeed been a terrible idea, and Namjoon would lose all his hair if he found out. He understood Jiminâs motivation for trying to reach out, but Hoseok felt Jimin had lost some tact in the process by approaching you just to find a quick solution. Clearly, the atmosphere in the penthouse was affecting everyone, and not in a good way. He couldnât judge or blame Jimin for trying to lighten the situation for both parties, even if he could have approached it differently.
So Hoseok sighed, understanding the magnitude of the problem they had, and turned to the two young men who were now looking at him attentively, after recently avoiding his gaze as if their lives depended on it.
âHow did you think you were going to meet her with the level of fame you have?â
Hoseok knew Jimin had acted on impulse, and perhaps addressing the underlying reasoning would make him think better next time, if there was one.
Jimin opened his lips slightly, confused.
âI... I donât know, but I would've found a way.â
Taehyung scoffed. That would have been impossible because, surely, only after Jungkook, Jimin was one of the most recognizable faces in the industry and, therefore, couldnât walk freely down the streets without having a horde of fans behind him within seconds. If, for some divine reason, you had agreed to meet with Jimin, then he would have exposed you too much to the public eye and you would have had more problems before getting any answers.
âThereâs no way, Jimin.â Hoseok spoke, as the blonde shot a fierce look at his brown-haired companion. âWeâre no longer in a small town.â
The two young men turned to the elder, putting their silly squabbles aside. A feeling of nostalgia and longing filled the air, embracing them and bringing to the surface poorly buried memories in the gardens of their minds; the gusts of Hoseokâs words uncovered them easily.
âWe canât afford that luxury now. We lost the opportunity a long time ago.â Hoseok reminded them, with a hint of discord in his voice.
Taehyung hated remembering those times. Having had his hands tied, sealing his mouth voluntarily, believing he had no other option... it completely sickened him. For a long time, regret had physically drained him.
âI wonât talk to Namjoon, donât worry.â Hoseok assured them, and although the two young men should've breathed with relief, the truth was that they already felt too shaken. âBut be more careful about where you talk about these things.â
âWhat things?â
âFuck!â
Taehyung jumped off the couch when the voice came from his right, being the closest to the source. The three friends turned to see Yoongi, walking down the hallway from his room to the main living area of the penthouse.
âAre you guys sharing secrets?â
Instead of being scared, Jimin and Taehyung fell back onto the couch, letting out an exhausted breath. Yoongi shot a confused look at Hoseok, who returned it with a more severe expression.
âCome here, Yoongi. We need to talk.â
-
i hope you guys enjoyed! and thanks to my friend for helping my unresponsive overworked ass.
[Friend: I don't know if the tags worked. I'm sorry!]
tag: @rinkud @futuristicenemychaos @pastelpeachess @parapiop7 @11thenightwemet11 @yoongznme @queenbloody @lynnettys-world @darlingz99 @dreamerwasfound @chaotickyrith @kokoandkookie @midiplier @thunderg @lizzymizzy-blogg @ladymorrie @butnotmontana @lovelgirl22 @jjeonjjk7 @aurorathi @ot7stansthigs @kunacat @borahaetelevision @mylovingstars @ghostlyworld @talyaaas-blog @slowlyshycomputer @jjk174 @maynina @kariningss @juju-227592 @zippaur @v4ksk4tz @kookierry @idk179634 @canarystwin @jincapableoflove @notrustfratedjin @elliott-calls @devilzliaison @ismelllikechlorine247 @19yearoldjstryingtolivelife @thatgirliehan @yuuuumii @welcometomyworld13 @sugarbaby69x @whoa-jo @cerulean1riz @kawennote09 @angelfuzzy2 @themoonsblueside @damn-u-min-yoongi
#series: i can fix them#bts x reader#jungkook x reader#bts fanfic#bts angst#jungkook angst#jungkook fanfic#bts taehyung#bts imagines#bts scenarios#bts#bts fluff#bts jimin#bts yoongi#bts jungkook#bts x fem!reader#bts x y/n#bts x you#taehyung x reader#taehyung angst#taehyung fanfic#jimin x reader#jimin angst#jin x reader#hoseok x reader#hobi x reader#yoongi x reader#yoongi fanfic#namjoon x reader#namjoon angst
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Bittersweet || myg (2)
Pairing: Yoongi x ReaderOther Tags: Grad Student!Yoongi, Undergrad!Reader, Grad Student!Hoseok, Uncle!Namjoon, Doctor!Namjoon, Grad Student!Jimin, Fuckboy!Jungkook, GradStudent!Jungkook, Boss!Seokjin, Yoongi POV Genre: College!AU, Strangers to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, kinda Student/Teacher but not really, Older!Yoongi, Fluff, Angst, Eventual Smut Word Count: 19.9k+ Summary: When a cynical graduate student meets an overly enthusiastic undergraduate, the air crackles with tensionâthough not all of it is good. Warnings: Mean!Yoongi, bitter grad student to the max, strong language, Jimin is still a snitch, possible wrong science information (i'm sorry i'm not perfect), sexual tension, Yoongi pining and being in love for almost 20k words, kissing at work, almost caught, graphic s*x scenes, non-descriptive smut as well, Jealous!Yoongi, i'm sorry but this JK is kind of a slime ball, Reader knows what she's doing, they're adorable, lots of bickering, drunk Yoon, drunk texting, they're both the biggest dorks on the planet, reader sleep talks, multiple sex scenes, oral (m&f receiveing), vaginal fingering, vaginal sex, handjobs, all things considered these two are very vanilla, some dirty talk, reader mostly takes charge, public sex, sex at work, shower sex, again they're still dorks even when they're in bed, let me know if I missed anything... A/N: Here's the second (and final) installment of this little two-shot. Thanks for reading!
Prev
I decided not to make a fuss about the stupid recruitment party. It was just a way for them to shove fresh-faced recruits down our throats, anyway. Instead of hitching a ride with Hoseok and Serena, I opted to walk alone, letting the cool night air wash over me. The campus felt both familiar and alien in the twilight, the shadows stretching long and eerie across the cracked pavement. Walking had always been my way of clearing my head, but tonight it felt like a futile exercise.
As soon as I stepped inside the venue, the noise slammed into meâlaughter, chatter, and the clinking of glasses mingling into a chaotic symphony of youthful energy. I scanned the room, and when my eyes landed on her, I couldnât help but groan. Y/N was there, and she was wearing those jeansâGod, they looked painted on, hugging her curves in a way that sent my pulse racing. Her legs stretched endlessly, accentuated by those unforgiving black heels that screamed danger. My throat tightened with the realization: she was wearing fuck-me heels.
Fuck me indeedâŠ
I shook my head, forcing myself to look away, as if her mere presence was some twisted magnet pulling me closer. I made my way to the bar at the back, seeking refuge against the wall while I nursed a drink, pretending to be absorbed in the chaos around me. But it didnât take long before my eyes betrayed me, drawn back to her like a moth to a flame. She was laughing with a group of kidsâprobably this yearâs recruitsâher smile radiant and infectious.
Then, like a bad omen, Jungkook sauntered in, drink in hand, striding over to her with that cocky grin of his.
âYoongiâs here! Let the party begin!â Serenaâs voice cut through my thoughts, grating like nails on a chalkboard. I grimaced.
âWhat took you so long? Had trouble matching that sweater?â Hoseok appeared behind her, donning a tie that screamed âpretentious.â
I shot Serena a look, raising an eyebrow, and she responded with a smirk, clearly reveling in my discomfort.
âYeah⊠not all of us have the privilege of being dressed by our girlfriends,â I muttered, bitterness creeping into my tone.
âCome on⊠I kid, I kid,â Hoseok laughed, draping an arm over my shoulder.
âIâll leave you two to your bromance,â Serena rolled her eyes, tossing her hair back. âI better go suck up to my P.I.â
âHow are you?â Hoseokâs tone shifted, sensing the dark cloud hanging over me.
âIâm peachy,â I replied, sarcasm dripping from my voice.
âI seeâŠâ He glanced in Y/Nâs direction. âOh⊠I see.â
âYeah, well, Jungkookâs trying to get her drunk,â I hissed through clenched teeth, watching as he leaned in closer.
âRight. Jeonâs all over your zygoteâs business,â he replied, a knowing smirk on his lips.
I groaned into my beer, bitterness churning in my stomach.
âCâmon! More drinking, less brooding!â He smacked my back playfully, but it only deepened the pit of resentment growing inside me.
An hour later, I was still a wallflower, slouched against my corner, shamelessly staring at Y/N as she flitted around the room. Jungkook kept swooping in like a hawk, but she brushed him off, her laughter echoing like a melody in the air. That was a relief, at least. Yet, reality settled in like a thick fog: she hadnât even noticed me yet.
Then, our eyes locked. Time seemed to freeze, and I swear I involuntarily smiled. She walked toward me, a small grin dancing on her lips, and I was struck by how her hair flowed over her shoulders, the softness of it almost intoxicating. âIs that a new sweater?â she asked, her voice sweet and melodic.
âAre you making fun of me?â I shot back lightly.
âNoâŠâ she chuckled, her eyes sparkling. âYou look good.â
âYou look good too,â I replied, the words feeling flat against the brilliance of her presence. Well, that was an understatementâshe looked stunning.
âYou shouldnât be drinking,â I said, gesturing to the beer in her hand, feeling an unexpected rush of protectiveness.
âWhy not?â She brought the bottle to her mouth, her lips wrapping around it like an invitation.
Focus, Min!
âAre you twenty-one yet?â I blurted out, curiosity getting the better of me.
âAre you the party police?â
âVery funny,â I deadpanned, annoyance creeping in as I waited for her answer.
âIf you must know, I am twenty-one already, thank you very much.â
âYou are?â I was genuinely surprised. She didnât seem old enough to be a senior, not with that wide-eyed enthusiasm.
âYep, I missed a year in junior high. No biggie.â She shrugged, casual as ever.
âOhâŠâ The admission surprised me, stirring questions in my mind. What could have caused someone as smart and driven as her to miss a year?
My distraction drifted away as my gaze returned to her shoulders, delicate freckles dusting her skin, catching the fading light.
âOh! I havenât met that one!â Y/N quipped, spotting another recruit. âBe right back.â
I was entranced, eyes glued to her as she walked away, her hips swaying like a pendulum, counting down the moments until she returned. I was royally screwed. Somewhere along the way, Iâd transformed from oblivious to hyper-aware, every single action of hers magnified under the microscope of my attention. How could I go back to not seeing her when each new thing I noticed sent heat flooding through me?
Y/N returned, all smiles, clutching another beer bottle that sheâd snatched from Jungkook. âWhy are you so angry?â she asked, leaning against the wall next to me.
âY/N, Iâm not angry. Iâm having fun.â I tried to sound calm, but my voice cracked like thin ice.
âThis is you having fun?â she countered, gesturing to my slumped posture with her beer.
âYes,â I insisted, though my gaze lingered on the constellation of freckles scattered across her nose.
âStanding in the corner, looking at everyone like youâre a bodyguard, or an undercover copâthatâs you having fun?â
âYes.â I shrugged, clinging to some semblance of composure.
âYouâre angry.â She tilted her head, her eyes narrowing in playful challenge.
âIâm not angry!â But deep down, the heat was rising inside me.
She laughed, the sound bubbling up like a mountain spring. âYouâre frowning.â
âBecause youâre driving me insane!â I inhaled deeply, trying to relax, but she was intoxicating.
âWhy?â She stepped closer, her presence an electric charge in the air.
âBecause youâre too happy.â And adorableâŠ
âWhatâs wrong with being happy?â she retorted, her hand perched on her hip, radiating defiance.
My eyes drifted back to her, tracing the curve of her hip accentuated by those devilish pants. I closed my eyes, taking another deep breath to steady myself. âItâs extremely annoying.â
âWell, Iâm sorry.â Her smile morphed into a giggle, and I groaned, feeling the weight of my frustration. âDo I really annoy you so much?â
She peered at me, eyebrows knitting together, a small frown blossoming on her face. I resisted the urge to look at her lips, afraid that if I did, I might just pull her in and kiss her right there.
âYes,â I groaned, hoping my eyes conveyed that my answer was really âno.â
She held my gaze, and it felt like we were suspended in time, the world around us fading into insignificance. My fingers tightened around the neck of my beer bottle, anxiety coiling in my stomach. With a sigh, she shook her head and walked away again, leaving me alone with my turbulent thoughts.
Honestly, Y/Nâs unyielding happiness, her enthusiasm, and all that radianceâit wasnât annoying at all. It was refreshing, endearing, and it inspired me in ways I hadnât felt in years. I couldnât help but remember the excitement I once felt about starting this journey, how my heart raced at the thought of diving into research. What had changed? What did success even mean if there was no one to share it with?
So yes, Y/Nâs happiness was far from annoying.
What was truly infuriating was that she made it impossible for me to keep my hands to myself.
âJungkook offered to walk me home,â Y/N said, her voice slicing through the murmur of the crowd like a knife. I kept my gaze fixed on the throng, avoiding her bright eyes, filled with something I couldnât quite decipher. âBut I donât know if thatâs such a good idea.â
When I finally turned to look at her, a smile tugged at her lips, a spark of mischief lighting her features. âI think you might be right about himâhe is kind of a tool.â
A snort escaped me, the tension in my chest easing just a fraction. âPlus I donât trust him.â
âI donât trust him either, Y/N,â I admitted, feeling the weight of my own words. It was the only reason I was here, shadowing her like a ghost.
âCan I lie and tell him youâre walking me home instead?â
Her gaze catches mine, and Iâm momentarily swept away in the depths of her beautiful eyes, glowing softly under the dim lights, as if theyâre hiding secrets just waiting to be uncovered.Â
âYou donât have to lie, Y/N. Iâll walk you home myself,â I say, my voice dripping with sincerity I didnât know I had. She looks down, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, an unintentional cue for me to look away.
When she finally says sheâs ready to leave, we exchange goodbyes, and she pauses at the door, rummaging through her bag. I canât help but smile when she pulls out a pair of black Chucks. As she grips my arm to slide off her high heels, I catch a flicker of discomfort flash across her face.
âAre you okay?â I ask, concern bubbling up.
âYeah, my feet are killing me,â she replies, a hint of laughter in her voice.
âI could go get my car.â
âNonsense. Itâs just ten minutes away,â she insists, slipping her shoes back on, and we begin our trek.
As we walk toward her building, she animatedly recounts stories about prospective students, her voice weaving a vibrant tapestry that pulls us closer together. Itâs no wonder sheâs so well-liked; anyone would be a fool not to adore her.Â
âCan you hold these?â she asks, passing me her heels as we reach her building. A twinge of envy strikes me at the sight of those dainty straps that had just hugged her ankles.
She digs through her purse, clearly on a mission.Â
âShitâŠâ Frustration laces her voice. âShit, shit, shit, shit!â
âWhatâs wrong?â
âI donât have my keys⊠I must have left them inside, in my other bag.â
âOhâŠâ I glance at the time. Itâs past two in the morning.Â
Should I offer her a place to stay? Thatâs what any decent person would do, right? But what if⊠what if I couldnât keep my hands to myself?
âIâm so stupid!â she exclaims, smacking her forehead with the heel of her hand.
âHey, relax⊠um⊠I have a bed. I mean, a couch.âÂ
She looks up at me, skepticism dancing across her features.
âReally, itâs no problem.â I shrug, trying to keep my tone casual, as if itâs just a simple offer rather than an opportunity for something more.
Her expression remains doubtful.
âThatâs what graduate student mentors are for, right?â
A small grin appears on her lips, and I canât help but smile back. If all else fails, maybe I could find a way to make her smile like thatânothing would make me happier.
âAre you sure?â
âYeah⊠itâs not like itâd be awkward or anything,â I tease, and her laughter lifts the tension in the air.
It takes us about twenty minutes to reach my apartment. Y/N talks a mile a minute, and I barely manage to squeeze a word in, but I donât mind; her voice wraps around me like a warm blanket on a chilly night.
As we climb the steps of my building, I notice her wince again, gripping the railing for support.
âY/N, are you okay?â Worry creeps in; she looks genuinely pained.
She takes a deep breath, forcing a smile that doesnât quite reach her eyes. âIâm fine.â
âY/N, please, just tell me whatâs wrong.â I reach for her hand, desperate to ease whatever discomfort sheâs feeling.
âCan we just go inside?â She clutches my hand tighter. âIâll tell you, I promise.â
I help her inside and guide her to the couch. She collapses onto it with a shaky breath, extending her legs and rubbing her thighsâa gesture that sends a pang of concern through me.
âItâs not a big deal,â she begins, trying to sound lighthearted. âSometimes I get pain in my legs from an old injury.â
âOh⊠can I get you something for it?â
âJust water is fine.â She digs through her bag and pulls out a bottle of ibuprofen, shaking it at me with a smile.
As I rush to the kitchen, unease coils in my stomach. She had been walking the whole time, and I hadnât even noticed she was in pain. I pour two glasses of water, my hands trembling slightly as I hand one to her and settle down beside her.
âYou shouldâve told me you were hurting, Y/N. I would have gotten the car.â
âIâm all right.â She gives me a soft smile, glancing around my sparsely decorated apartment. âYour place is nice.â
Nice? Itâs barrenâlike a forgotten room in an old house where laughter used to echo. I turn the glass of water in my hands, my mind racing. âY/N, can I ask you something?â
She meets my gaze as I take a sip. âIf youâre wondering if Iâm a virgin, the answer is no.â
I choke on the water, caught off guard by her sudden candor. âJesus Christ, woman, how drunk are you?â
âIâm not drunk at all. Iâm just messing with you. What were you going to ask?â
I look at her, heat rising in my cheeks as the tension coils between us. âI was just curious about how you got injured,â I admit, my thoughts drifting to the whirlwind of emotions churning inside me.
âOh, well⊠My mom and I were in a car accident. I broke my hip and both my legs.â She says it so casually, as if sheâs recounting a minor scrape.
âWhat?â
âYeah⊠it was okay, though. After rehab, I was as good as new!â She beams, her enthusiasm a stark contrast to the weight of her words.
âHow long was rehab?â
âLong enough.âÂ
I remember something she mentioned earlier. âLong enough to make you miss a year in school?â
She responds with a grin and a nonchalant shrug. âShit, Y/N. That sucks. Iâm really sorry.â
âItâs all right. Iâm actually glad it happened.â Her gaze drifts down to her legs, fingers tracing an invisible path over her thighs. âIt brought my parents back together, just as they were meant to be.â
Her eyes return to mine, and the intensity of her words fills the air. âMy parents got divorced when I was little, and my mom and I moved to Florida. But after the accident, my dad came to help, and they just⊠clicked, I guess. Theyâve been together ever since.â She smiles proudly, and I sit there, stunned.
A strand of hair falls across her face, and I canât resist the urge to tuck it behind her earâan excuse to bridge the distance between us. With every detail she shares, I feel myself drawn closer, tangled in her life, as if Iâm getting lost in her depths.
âOkayâŠâ I set my glass down on the coffee table, the clink echoing like a heartbeat in the stillness. âI think you deserve the bed. Iâll take the couch.â
âWhy?â
âBecause I just made you walkââ
âItâs not your fault. I locked myself out.â
âY/N, pleaseâŠâ
âOkay, okay⊠donât get all grumpy on me.â She stands, and I hover over her, uncertain how to help, torn between the urge to support her and the instinct to maintain some distance.
âHey, stop it.â She steadies herself with a hand on my arm. âIâm fine. I shouldnât have said anything.â
I lead her to my bedroom, showing her where the bathroom is. I offer her some of my clothes to change into, but she declines, insisting it wouldnât be the first time she slept in jeans.
She sits on the bed, and just as Iâm about to leave, she calls out, âYoongi?â
I turn, and she gestures for me to sit beside her, lying back on the comforter, vulnerability etched into her features.
I swallow hard as I lower myself next to her, the proximity amplifying the tension crackling in the air.
âIâm glad you donât hate me anymore.â
I stare awkwardly at her, afraid to move and wake her up. Leaning back against the headboard, I let the silence linger, my mind racing with all the things I want to say. I want to know herâreally know herânot just as the emotionally unavailable guy Iâve been until now.
Hoseok was rightâI've got it bad for Y/N Y/L/N.
I think I preferred it when Y/N was just a blurry thought in my mind, hidden behind a blindfold Iâd created to shield my heart. Back then, I didnât have to wrestle with the urge to kiss her or feel the tempting softness of her hair against my fingers. But now, the blindfold has slipped away, and so has my common sense. Here I am, a hopeless observer, lurking in the shadows as she sleeps, feeling like a total creep.
Her face is peaceful, like a canvas painted with serenity, only occasionally disturbed by the flutter of her lashes. Her lips form a perfect little "o," and the way her bangs fall delicately over her forehead sends my heart racing. I long to reach out, to push them aside, to bury my hands in her hair like I did before. Slowly, I lift my hand, inching it closer to her face, drawn to her like a moth to a flame.
âJack!â Y/N suddenly cries out, her voice slicing through the silence like glass. My heart jumps. âThereâs a boat, Jack!â The frown that creases her brow twists her serene expression into something frantic, as if sheâs caught in a storm of dreams.
What is happening? Is she having a nightmare? Whoâs Jack?Â
Just as quickly, her face smooths over again, tranquility restored as if the storm has passed, leaving only a gentle breeze behind.
Isnât it just my luck? Y/N talks in her sleep, and apparently, sheâs got a soft spot for someone named Jackâmaybe a sailor too.Â
I could rent a boat. We could go sailing if she wanted. Maybe I could learn to sail. If Jack can do it, how hard could it be? Does she even like sailing? Iâll ask her tomorrow.
What am I even thinking? No, Iâm not going to ask her tomorrow, because we arenât going sailing. She can go with Jack for all I care.
I groan, burying my face in my hands, frustration and disbelief washing over me. Iâve seriously lost it. This is ridiculous.
âFucking Jess ate my Chobani again,â Y/N mutters, jolting me from my thoughts. Jess? Who the hell is that? And what even is a Chobani?
I should go. I shouldnât be here, lurking in the shadows, eavesdropping on this craziness.
âJonah Rodgers thinks Iâm sexyâŠâÂ
For the love of God! Is she trying to drive me mad?
Jonah Rodgers? The name sounds familiar. Do I know him? Is he that jerk who used to stalk her?Â
The stalker. Damn it. If I were still T.A.-ing, Iâd fail him for disrespecting Y/N in this way.
I canât take this anymore. If she mentions another guy, I swear Iâm going to lose it. I sit at the edge of the bed, ready to leave, but before I can move, Y/N speaks again.
âDoes Yoongi think Iâm sexy?âÂ
I do, I do, I doâŠ
âHmm⊠my Grumpy.âÂ
Her soft moan sends a jolt of electricity coursing through me, and Iâm utterly unpreparedâshredded, breathless, completely undone.Â
Does she mean me? She called me Grumpy once, right? Said I was the only Grumpy she knew. Am I her Grumpy?
Shit, shit, shit!
I slump back against the headboard, the realization both thrilling and terrifying.Â
Is Y/N dreaming about me? Is it wrong that this feels so right? That my heart is swelling with excitement at the thought of being part of her dreams?
I turn to look at her again. Sheâs frowning now, exaggerated and cute, her lips pouting in a way that tugs at my heart.
âDo not touch my samples, Becca!â Her voice is low and raspy. âDonât be so happy, Becca!â And then she smiles, as if a hidden joke just crossed her mind. âRun, Becca! Run!âÂ
Oh, sheâs definitely dreaming about me, just not in the way I had hoped.
Sheâs making fun of meâin her dreams.
Wonderful.
I groan, letting my head thud back against the headboard, staring up at the ceiling as disappointment settles over me like a heavy shroud. I shouldnât be wishing for Y/N to dream about me; it would only complicate things. We canât be together; this will never work.
In a year, Iâll graduate, and then itâll be New York City, and Estelle all over again. Estelle and I had been together for four years when we graduated from Cornell. She wanted me to get a ârealâ job, to move with her to New York. She wanted me to abandon the chance for grad school at UW, to work at one of the top cancer research centers in the country. She made me choose, and I chose research.
And you know what? I have no regrets. Even though she didnât know everything about my parents, she knew it mattered to meâshe shouldnât have made me choose. So when she said, âIf you leave, weâre done,â I left. I figured I was better off alone, or as she put it, âend up alone and rot in lab hell.â It didnât seem like such a sacrifice thenâmy relationship with Estelle was mediocre at best.
So, I dove headfirst into grad school and landed in one of the best labs in the program. I didnât let any woman get in my way. I was focused, determinedâuntil I woke up four years later, an angry, bitter shell of a man, nursing my bruised pride.
What a wake-up call that was! Suddenly, I started noticing everythingâthe things I fought so hard to ignore. I had worn blinders for so long, and I missed so much.
Honestly, I never expected to feel so unfulfilled.
Isnât this what I wanted when I chose to leave Estelle? What am I missing? Why am I not enjoying my work anymore?
I glance at Y/N again. Her expression is peaceful once more, an angelic mask that makes me ache with longing. I can see myself falling for her easilyâif Iâm lucky, she might fall for me too. But then what?Â
Then Iâll have to choose: my work, my life, what I owe to my parents, over her. Sheâll make me choose, and Iâll choose scienceâcancer researchâand it will shatter us both. This time, it would be the greatest sacrifice Iâd ever have to make. And honestly, Iâm not even sure Iâd be strong enough to make that decision. If Y/N were to love me back, how could I hurt her like that?
I sigh, dragging a hand down my face, the weight of my thoughts pressing heavily on my chest.
Y/N is smiling now, giggling softly, her laughter a haunting melody in the quiet room. How someone can giggle in her sleep is beyond me. After a while, she calms, her breathing slowing even more. With a sigh, I close my eyes and wait, holding my breath for what she might say next.
I wake with a start, my neck and back screaming in protest from the unforgiving embrace of the headboard. I mustâve slept in the same awkward position all night, unmoving. Stretching my arms, I blink against the morning light, squinting at my watch. Seven oâclock. The realization hits me like a punch to the gutâY/N is gone.
Rubbing my sore neck, I drag myself out of bed and around the apartment, searching for any sign of her. Her bag and heels are missing. An uneasy feeling churns in my stomach as I plod back to the bed, my mind racing with questions about where she could have gone so early. Thatâs when I notice the slip of paper on the nightstand.
Morning, Grumpy!  I had to leave to get my keys from the landlord.  Thanks for letting me crash last night.  Sorry for your sore neck.  Y/N. :)
I face-plant onto the bed with a groan, trying to drown out the hollow emptiness she left behind. Her scent lingers on the pillows, sweet and intoxicating, wrapping around me like a vise. I inhale deeply, the fragrance filling my lungs, but instead of comfort, it brings a gnawing ache. Grumpy... Iâm her Grumpy. The thought claws at me, relentless and unyielding.
Monday drags in like a slow, inevitable doom. I sit silently in the lunchroom with Hoseok, who prattles on about the success of the recruitment party. His voice is background noise, barely penetrating my thoughts. Thankfully, he hasnât asked about Y/N yet.
âSo, is Yoonji coming this weekend?â he asks, mid-chew of his sandwich.
âYes. Friday,â I mutter, my mind elsewhere.
âAwesome! Oh manâŠâ He swallows, excitement clear in his voice. âI canât wait for next week! Spring Break: no undergrads, the gyms and bars all to ourselves!â
âIs it Spring Break next week?â My voice cracks, surprise jolting me back to reality. I had completely forgotten.
âYeah!â
Great. My stomach twists with dread. Is Y/N leaving for Spring Break? She probably is, isnât she? The uneasy feeling intensifies, so I shove a forkful of macaroni into my mouth, trying to silence it.
âWhatâs up your ass?â Hoseok asks suddenly, narrowing his eyes at me.
I shake my head, dismissing him
. âNothing.â
âNothing? Seriously?â His disbelief is palpable. âYou look like you just downed a bottle of aspirin. Come on, tell me whatâs wrong.âÂ
His eyes are kind, but they only intensify the frustration bubbling beneath the surface.Â
I stare down at my plate, willing the irritation to simmer down. Heâs my best friendâhe deserves to know. But how can I explain this mess? The whirlwind of emotions swirling inside me?Â
âY/NâŠâ I finally murmur, the name tasting foreign on my tongue.Â
âY/N? The girl you were with at the party? What about her?â
âUhâŠshe crashed here last night. She left this morning to get her keys from the landlord.â I avoid his gaze, my cheeks warming at the admission.
âDude, thatâs awesome!â he grins, elbowing me lightly. âSo, you guys are getting serious?â
I scoff, shaking my head. âI donât know about that.â
Hoseokâs smile falters. âWhat do you mean? You like her, right?â
âOf course I do!â The admission bursts out before I can stop myself, surprising both of us. I take a deep breath, trying to calm the tide of emotions swelling within me. âBut it canât go anywhere. Sheâs leaving, Hoseok. Sheâs probably going to some fancy college or⊠some fancy job.â
âSo? You guys can make it work! Do you want to make it work?â
âI donât know! I donât want to hurt her. I canâtâŠâ I trail off, frustration bubbling back to the surface. âI canât let myself get caught up in this. Iâve worked too hard for my future to throw it all away for her.â
âWait, what? Throw it all away? You really think you canât have both? That you canât just have fun while also focusing on your studies?â
Iâm silent, my insides twisting again, a potent mix of anger and sadness at the thought of losing Y/N. âItâs not that simple,â I finally reply.
âWhy not? You just told me she crashed here last night! You canât pretend this doesnât matter! You canât keep running from it forever, Yoongi!â His voice rises, frustration spilling over.
âWhy are you getting so worked up over this?â I snap, staring at him with incredulity.
âBecause Iâm sick of seeing you sulk, man!â His hands fly up in exasperation. âYou canât keep pretending like this doesnât matter! Just tell her how you feel, for fuckâs sake!â
I shake my head, the weight of his words crashing down around me, the walls closing in. I feel suffocated, cornered. âWhat if sheâs not interested? What if I scare her away?â
âThen at least youâll know! At least youâll have closure, and you can move on!âÂ
His voice rings in my ears, echoing through the tangled web of my thoughts. I look down, realizing heâs right.Â
I take a deep breath, steadiness creeping back in. âYouâre right.â I want to scream. âYouâre so right.â But the truth sits heavy on my chest.Â
But what if Iâm not strong enough to risk everything again? What if I lose her before I ever get to really have her?Â
When I get back to the lab, my phone beeps with a new email.
From: Y/N Y/L/N, ynyln(at)u(.)washington(.)edu  Sent: Monday, March 21, 2024, 1:18 PM  To: Yoongi Min, ygmin(at)u(.)washington(.)edu
Hey Yoongi,
Is it okay if I miss lab on Tuesday and Wednesday? I have midterms this week before Spring Break, but I promise Iâll make up for the lost time afterward.
Y/N
Sheâs leaving.
The thought crashes over me like a tidal wave, pulling me under, swirling with anxiety and dread. She wonât even be here this week. The uncertainty gnaws at my insides, promising nothing but torture ahead.
From: Yoongi Min, ygmin(at)u(.)washington(.)edu  Sent: Monday, March 21, 2024, 1:20 PM  To: Y/N Y/L/N, ynyln(at)u(.)washington(.)edu
Fine.
Yoongi Min  PhD Candidate  Kim Lab  Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center  1100 Fairview Avenue North  Seattle, WA 98109-1024
Itâs official: I fucking hate Spring Break.
As soon as I get home, desperation drives me to call Yoonji. I tell myself itâs to find out when Y/N will be back, but really, I need to spill everythingâthe kiss, the night Y/N slept in my bed, the haunting thought of her heading to Cabo for Spring Break.
âYoongi, I just donât understand,â Yoonji says, her voice cutting through the fog in my mind. Iâm sprawled on the couch, head tilted back, an arm draped over my eyes like a shield against reality.
âTo be honest, I think what youâre doing is stupid,â she continues, her frustration palpable. âYouâre miserable. I can feel it. Why wonât you give yourself a chance toââ
âTo what, Yoonji? You remember what happened with Estelle.â
âPlease, Estelle was an unsupportive bitch.â
âI donât even know Y/N that well!â I blurt out, my voice sharper than I intended. The fear of history repeating itself looms over me like a dark cloud.
âY/N wonât make you choose, Yoongi.â
âYou donât know that.â
âYou said sheâs incredibly determined, that she loves research even more than you used to. That doesnât sound like someone who would oppose you continuing on this path.â
âI donât know, Yoonji.â I sigh, running my hands over my face, feeling the weight of her words settle heavily on my shoulders.
âGive yourself the opportunity to get to know her. Donât deny yourself the chance to be with her just because youâre afraid to feel something.â
âIâm not afraid of feeling anything,â I snap, though the truth is, Iâm drowning in emotions already. âBut Iâll be done with the program in a year.â
âSo what? A lot can happen in a year. You know that better than anyone.â
I groan, conceding. Sheâs right. Sheâs always right.
âYouâre hurting. You care about her, Yoongi. Why do you have to be so blind?â Yoonjiâs frustration seeps through the phone, and I can almost picture her pacing, running a hand through her hair.
âWhat do you suggest I do? Ask her out?â I retort, the idea weighing heavily on my mind. âSheâs my undergrad! I donât even know if sheâs interested in me.â
âDidnât you say she kissed you back?â
âYes. But she also said she didnât want to jeopardize her experience in the lab.â
âThat means sheâs smart. You shouldnât let your feelings affect your work, especially if sheâs under you. But that doesnât mean you canât have a relationship outside of lab.â
The thought of being with Y/N outside those sterile walls sends my heart racing. I lean back against the couch, releasing a shaky breath I didnât know I was holding.
âHave you talked about it again? Have you told her how you feel?â Yoonji presses, her voice softening.
âNo. I decided to pretend it never happened.â
âGeez, Yoongi. For such a smart guy, you can be so dense.â Her exasperated sigh echoes in my ears, and I remain silent, letting her words sink in. âYou need to talk to her, tell her whatâs going on. See what she wants. Tell her what you want.â
Staring at the ceiling, I weigh the possibility of confessing my feelings to Y/N. The prospect terrifies me, yet the urge to be honest gnaws at my insides.
âYoongi, do you know what you want?â she asks gently.
âYes. I want to go to sleep.âÂ
Her frustrated sigh tells me she senses Iâm closing off again.
âDo you want to be with her?â she probes softly.
âIâve never wanted anyone more.â
The truth spills out, raw and unfiltered. Her squeal of excitement on the other end makes me rub my hands on my thighs, trying to contain my nerves.
âThen do yourself a favor and talk to her. Iâd bet good money sheâs already crazy about you.â Her enthusiasm is contagious, and I find myself considering it more seriously.
We end the call, but sleep eludes me. Images of Y/N in a bikini invade my mind, and thereâs no chance of me sleeping tonight.
When I step back into the lab on Thursday after lunch, Iâm completely unprepared for the sight of Y/N. Sheâs there, smiling, and it catches me off guard, my heart racing like itâs just run a marathon. I thought sheâd be gone by now, off to live her Spring Break fantasies. My mind has been a battlefield all week, flooded with images of her carefree adventures. Googling âSpring Break activitiesâ had been a catastrophic mistake.
Sheâs not in her usual lab coat today; instead, sheâs wearing a fitted sweater that hugs her figure just right, the V-neck revealing a tantalizing hint of her collarbones. The dark fabric contrasts beautifully with her pale skin, and my imagination betrays me, picturing that skin in a bikini. All I can see is red.
Thankfully, Jimin is nowhere in sight.
âI thought you had better things to do this week,â I say, my voice sharper than I intended as I walk past her, heading toward my desk.
âWhat do you mean?â Her smile vanishes, replaced by confusion.
âI didnât know you were coming today. I donât have time for this.â I wave my hand dismissively, trying to suppress the storm brewing inside me.
âFor what? IâI donât understand.â
These lies spill from my mouth uncontrollably. âHonestly, Y/N, sometimes I think youâre just here for the credits. This isnât how science works. You need to be consistent.â My voice rises, and I see her flinch.
âWhy are you yelling at me? Is this because I missed two days? Iâm sorry, Yoongi. I had to study. I promise Iâll make up for it.â
I rub my forehead, frustration clawing at my insides. I know this isnât her fault, but the anger bubbles over. âHave fun on Spring Break,â I grit out as I storm past her, my heart pounding in my chest.
âYoongi?â she calls after me, but I keep walking, desperate for fresh air. The cool spring breeze feels like a lifeline, and I gulp it in, trying to calm the chaos inside me. I canât keep doing this. This is madness.
I donât get far before I hear Y/Nâs voice again, breathless and firm. âYoongi, whatâs the matter with you?â I hadnât realized sheâd followed me. I turn around, and there she isâconfused, hurt, and heartbreakingly beautiful.
Thereâs no point in pretending anymore. I canât keep up the facade. âI donât think you really want to know, Y/N.â I run a hand down my face, trying to keep my composure.
She crosses her arms, waiting, an expectant look in her eyes.
âI fucking hate Spring Break, okay? I hate the thought of you parading around with some frat losers, being young, drunk, and reckless. I hate it. I hate all of it.â
Her expression shifts from confusion to understanding, and she relaxes, placing her hands on her hips. A corner of her mouth quirks up. âWhat are you talking about?â
Is she seriously smirking?
âIâm talking about you going to Cabo San Lucas for Spring Break.â
âWho said I was going to Cabo?â Now sheâs fully smiling.
âI donât know, I just assumed⊠arenât you all?â I mumble, embarrassed.
âYou have some serious misconceptions about undergrads, Yoongi. Weâre not all the same. And thatâs not me at all.â
âSo youâre not going away for Spring Break?â I ask, still staring at my feet, not wanting to look her in the eye.
âNo, Iâm not. I was actually looking forward to spending more time in the lab, making up for this week.â
Relief floods through me, but itâs tangled with a crushing sense of shame. âYouâre not going away? Youâre staying here?â My voice is barely a whisper.
âYes. Thatâs what I said.â
I stagger back, feeling like an idiot. I canât believe I snapped at her like that. As my anger fades, embarrassment rushes in, making my knees feel weak. I might seriously pass out.
âYoongi? Are you all right?â
I let out a humorless laugh. No, Iâm not all right. This is too much.
She steps closer, and I know I wonât be able to resist kissing her if she comes any nearer. I lift my hand in warning and take another step back.
âYoongi?â Ignoring my gesture, she moves closer and stands right in front of me.
I close my eyes, the truth spilling out uncontrollably. âAll I could think about was some punk with his shirt off, a baseball cap on backward, shoving beer down your throat... and it made me want to murder someone.â My hand clutches my chest, heart racing.
She gigglesâat my agony? My eyes snap open, and her smile fades under my intense stare. âThese past few days have been torture,â I continue. âI canât get you out of my mind. All I can think about is youâyour lips on mine, your legs around my waist. You drive me insane, Y/N. I canât think straight.â
Y/Nâs eyes shine with emotion, and she closes the distance between us, resting her head against my chest. My hand instinctively finds its way to the back of her head, fingers tangling in her hair. She pulls away slightly, and I lift her chin with two fingers, forcing her to meet my gaze. Her eyes glisten, her bottom lip caught between her teeth, cheeks flushed a delicate pink.
When our lips touch, the electric current between us is undeniable. I close my eyes, exhaling through my nose, and cup her face, my thumb brushing her ear, fingers caressing her neck. Y/N grips my shirt, pulling herself closer. When my tongue slips into her mouth, a moan escapes me at the sweetness of her taste.
I canât stay away from her anymore. Iâm not strong enough.
Y/N wraps a hand around my neck, pulling me even closer. My hand travels down her back, wrapping tightly around her waist. I know she can feel my arousal pressing against her, but I donât care. When she whimpers against my mouth, I know she feels the same.
Is it possible sheâs been yearning for this as much as I have?Â
Tell her what you want, Min.
âY/N, wait.â I gently push her back, keeping one hand on her face. She stumbles slightly, holding onto my arm, looking dazed. âI donât want this to be another kiss you regret. I donât want you to be swept away by the moment. I want⊠I want more.â
She gapes at me, panting.
âIâm sorry Iâm being so blunt, but I canât hide this anymore.â I drop my hands to my sides and step back.
âWhat are you trying to say, Yoongi?â Her confusion is evident.
âWhat Iâm trying to say is that I want to see you tomorrow.â
âTomorrow? I-I think I can come in the afternoon between classes.â
âJesus Christ, Y/N! Would you listen to me? I donât need you to come to the lab. I want to see you outside of the lab.â
I pinch my nose, trying to calm down, afraid my intensity will scare her away.
âOhâŠâ
âMy cousin is coming to visit. Weâre all going out for drinks. Do you want to come with me?â
She looks at me, and then she nods. âOkay.â
Okay⊠she said yes. Oh my god, she said yes.
I take a deep breath. âIâm sorry I snapped at you like that.â
âI know,â she replies, giving me a small grin that weakens my knees. My hand reaches for her face again, addicted to the softness of her skin as I brush her hair behind her ear and stroke her cheek. She stares into my eyes, cheeks burning, and Iâm debating whether to kiss her again when I see Jinâs car pull into the parking lot, and I drop my hand immediately.
ShitâŠ
Y/N glances back and sees Jin getting out of his car.
âI should go study, thenâŠâ She looks back at me, and I nod, feeling a mix of regret and anticipation. âIâll catch you later. Call me about tomorrow.â She brushes a timid finger down my arm before turning to leave.
I stay outside for a few more minutes, gathering my thoughts and waiting for my heart to calm down.Â
I did it. I asked Y/N out... sort of.
Now what?
Yoonji had turned into a shadow in my apartment, trailing me as I prepared for what felt like the most important night of my life. âHave you been using that stubble trimmer I got you?â she asked, her fingers grazing my jaw as if she were assessing a work of art.Â
I nodded, feeling uneasy under her watchful gaze. Deep down, I was already regretting the group date we had planned. The thought of going out with Y/N sent my heart racing; adding my cousin and a few friends into the mix felt like a cosmic joke, and I was definitely the punchline.Â
As I rifled through my chaotic closet, I tried to tune her out, running my fingers through my damp hair in a futile attempt to calm my nerves.Â
âI think Iâve died and gone to heaven.â Leave it to Yoonji to treat every moment like a Broadway performance. I shot her a glare, barely suppressing my frustration as I swept past her in search of my jacket.Â
âYouâre wearing a polo shirt?â she challenged, disbelief lacing her tone.Â
âWhatâs wrong with a polo shirt?â I snapped, slapping my hands against my thighs in exasperation. The anxiety gnawed at me, and her judgment only fueled the fire.Â
Yoonji stepped closer, her expression softening. âYoongi, my oblivious cousin, thereâs absolutely nothing wrong with that polo shirt. As long as it doesnât have holes in it.âÂ
Relief washed over me like a tide, momentarily pushing my worries aside. I had never cared much for her opinion on my wardrobe; that had never mattered before. But tonight? It wasnât Yoonjiâs approval I cravedâit was Y/Nâs. I wanted to be more than the cynical grad student she saw in class.
âYou look great,â Yoonji said, her smile coaxing a small, reluctant grin from me in return. âIf just thinking about her has you acting like this nervous mess, I already know Iâm going to love her.â
Yoonji had made it clear sheâd ride with Hoseok and Serena so I could pick up Y/N alone. Now, I found myself parked outside her building, panic clawing at my insides. My palms felt clammy as I smoothed them over my thighs, my heart thumping violently against my ribs, and my mouth was desert-dry. It had been ages since Iâd done anything like this. Estelle and I had never ventured out much together; I had buried myself in my studies while she lived her own life, leaving me utterly out of practice.
Despite the storm of anxiety raging within me, excitement bubbled up as I thought of Yoonji, Hoseok, and even Serena meeting Y/N. They needed to see how extraordinary she wasâsmart, caring, and hilariously funny. What thrilled me most was the prospect of spending time with Y/N outside the sterile confines of our lab, engaging with her as something more than just colleagues.
I banged my head against the steering wheel a few times, trying to settle my frayed nerves. My heart leaped when a knock on the window broke through my spiraling thoughts. There she wasâY/N, standing outside with that bright smile and a wave. I quickly unlocked the door, feeling like an utter fool.Â
âHeyâŠâ she said as she slid into the car.Â
âIâm sorry. I was going to get you. Just⊠got distracted,â I admitted, feeling like an idiot for letting her down.
âItâs okay.â She shrugged. âBetter this way anyway. I didnât want Jess to see us.â
âJess?â The name floated through my mind, familiar yet vagueâwasnât she the one from Y/Nâs sleep ramblings? The one with the boat?
âJessica, my roommate,â she explained. âShe was in your class last year, and she knows Iâm working in your lab⊠so I donât want any rumors spreading, you know?â
âMy class?â I felt disbelief surge within me. How could this be?
âIntro to Micro. Last Fall. You were our T.A.,â she said matter-of-factly.
âWhat?âÂ
âWe were both in your class,â she added, unfazed by my shock.
âI was your T.A. last year?â
âYes.âÂ
âAre you sure it was me?â I grasped at straws. How could I have overlooked her?
She turned toward me, eyebrow raised in that cute way she had. âOh, Iâm sure.âÂ
âIâm so sorry,â I blurted out. How could I have forgotten her?Â
âItâs okay. You keep to yourself. I get it.âÂ
âDo we know each other from anywhere else?â My worry twisted into a knot. Had I brushed past her countless times, completely blind to her presence?Â
So much time wasted. How incredibly foolish of me.
âJust that class in the fall. Unless you count all the times I waved at you at the gym or smiled at you every Saturday as you passed by my table at the library after getting your coffee.âÂ
She had been right there all along, and I had missed her completely.
âShit, Y/N. Iâm so sorry. Iâve been such an idiot!â I pounded the heel of my hand against my forehead a few times, embarrassment crashing over me.
âHey, itâs okay.â Y/N reached for my hand, gently pulling it away from my face.
âNo, itâs not. I was completely blind⊠and I feel like Iâve wasted so much time.âÂ
âWell, Iâm here nowâŠâ She smiled, releasing my hand.
âYou are.âÂ
âAnd you can see me now, right?âÂ
âYouâre all I see nowâŠâ The truth swelled in my chest, echoing through me. Y/N was all that mattered, the only one who could unravel this tangled mess of a heart I had.Â
âYou see?â she said, clasping her hands over her lap. âWhen you say stuff like that, it makes it really hard to believe you can be such a grump.â She smiled, a shy yet bold thing, and my instinct was to lean in and kiss her, but I tamped down my urge for the sake of the group date.
âWell, no need to worry. Iâm still very much a grump.â I offered a wry smile, taking a deep breath. âShall we do this?âÂ
Y/N nodded, and I started the car.Â
I didnât mind being a grump, as long as I could be her grump.
When we pulled up to the bar, I rushed to open Y/N's door, but of course, she was already climbing out by the time I reached her side. My gaze landed on the exposed skin of her collarbones, the freckles scattered across her chestâhow had I missed them in the car?
Her white top hung loosely on her frame, the neckline dipping low enough to reveal just a hint too much. Luckily, she wore something underneath, but the sheer fabric let me catch glimpses of her silhouette. Apparently, I wasnât the only one who noticedâsome guy outside was staring at her like she was the last meal on earth. My hand found her lower back as I guided her inside, urgency propelling me forward.
Hoseok, Yoonji, and Serena were already at a table, and when Yoonji spotted us, her face lit up like it was Christmas morning. I half-expected her to pull out a camera.
âY/N, this is my cousin, Yoonji. Yoonji, this is Y/N.â Before I could finish my introduction, Yoonji sprang to her feet.
âY/N!â she exclaimed, pulling Y/N into an enthusiastic embrace. Her eyes sparkled with joy as she cast me a cheeky grin. âItâs so nice to finally meet you!â
âYoonji, calm down,â I thought, but I couldnât help but feel a flutter of excitement.Â
âNice to meet you too, Yoonji,â Y/N replied, her sweetness radiating like a warm glow.
âAnd youâve already met Hoseok and Serena.â I gestured to the other two goofballs, who were now staring at Y/N like she was some kind of celestial being.
âHi, Y/N! Howâs life in the undergraduate world?â Hoseok teased as I pulled out a chair for her.
âLotta drinking, lotta partying⊠you know, same old, same old.â Y/N shrugged, grinning, and I could see she had already charmed Hoseok.
âSo⊠letâs get to the important stuff.â Hoseok waved a hand at me, a smirk growing on his face. I knew it wouldnât take long for the teasing to kick in. I rolled my eyes.
âOh! I know! Yoongi is wearing a polo shirt,â Serena piped up.
âI guess hell froze over, baby,â Hoseok snorted.
âI completely approve, by the way,â Yoonji chimed in, not even bothering to glance my way.
Here we go. I was about to shoot them all a glare when Y/Nâs gentle touch on my thigh sent my heart soaring. My eyes darted to hersâshe wore a smile that made everything else fade away.
âThe cologne⊠maybe a tad too much?â I heard Serena say.
âHey, I suggested that!â Yoonji shot back.
The banter continued, but I was lost in Y/Nâs gaze, enchanted by the way her eyes sparkled when she smiled at me. The world around us dimmed; it was just her fingers entwined with mine, brushing softly against my palm, the gentle caress of her thumb sending shivers down my spine.
A moment too soon, Y/N turned to address the others. âWhy do you guys talk about him like heâs not in the room?â Her words hung in the air, stunning everyone into silence.
I couldnât believe it. In less than an hour, she had managed to charm my friends while cutting straight to the heart of the matter.
âWell, youâre with him now,â Yoonji finally said, a sly smile creeping across her face. âItâs our job to protect you.â
I would have preferred they protect me from their embarrassing stories, but Y/N seemed to revel in it.
âProtect me from what?â she asked, laughter bubbling in her voice.
âHis awful sense of humor,â Serena said, her eyes dancing with mischief.
âOkay, Iâm warning you,â I said, grinning back. âYou may want to turn around and leave right now.â
Y/N giggled, clearly enjoying herself.
âHey, if you leave me now, Iâm going to assume youâre all crazy,â she said, her smile wide and infectious.Â
I couldnât help but smile back, knowing this night was going to be unforgettable.
As night settled over us, the world transformed into a playground of laughter and playful banter, wrapped in a soft, velvety blanket. The drinks flowed like a tide, and my heart raced with the electric thrill of the evening. I watched Y/N mingle with my friends, and in that moment, something inside me sparked to life, hinting at possibilities I had yet to explore.
I leaned closer, our shoulders brushing, a daring move that sent butterflies fluttering in my stomach. âWhat are you doing to me?â I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
âJust being me,â she replied, her tone light, but the glimmer in her eyes suggested deeper currents.
âCan I hold your hand?â The request slipped from my lips, fragile as a moth's wing.
Surprise flickered across her face as she weighed my words. âYes.â
The moment our fingers intertwined, warmth rushed through me, narrowing my focus to the electric connection between us. In the distance, Hoseok's teasing banter continued, and Yoonji was lost in conversation with Serena, but they faded into the background. All that mattered was Y/N and the magnetic pull that bound us together.
Yoonjiâs voice broke through my reverie. "I'm staying with Em and Serena tonight," she whispered in my ear.
âYoonji, you donât need toââ
âNonsense!â she insisted, her grin stretching wide. âI love her,â she mouthed as she walked away, and I couldnât help but smile, glancing down at Y/N.
âOh, youâre not coming with us?â Y/N asked, her curiosity piqued.
âNope! I need to help Serena pick an outfit for tomorrow. It was really nice to meet you, Y/N. I hope to see you soon!â Yoonji hugged her again, whispering something I couldnât catch.
Before long, Y/N and I were walking toward my car. I opened the door for her, and she smiled as she slid in. As I drove to her apartment, she asked about Yoonji and our bond. I shared how I moved in with them when I was thirteen, how weâd become like siblings, grateful she didnât pry into the reasons behind it. Tonight wasnât the time for shadows of my past.
A comfortable silence fell between us, an unspoken acknowledgment of the fleeting moments we shared. Soon, we arrived in front of her building, and reality crashed inâI was running out of time.
âCan I be honest?â she asked, her voice breaking the silence like a warm breeze.
âPlease⊠always.â
âI donât want to go home just yet.â She looked at me through her lashes, and my heart raced, a wild beat echoing in my chest.
âCan I be honest too?â I asked, inching closer.
She nodded, biting her lip.
âI really want to kiss you right now.â I leaned in slightly.
Her breath hitched, and she let out a soft sigh. âCan I? Kiss you?â My voice was barely audible, filled with anticipation.
She nodded once, a small smile lighting up her face. I reached for her, brushing her hair back before gently cupping the nape of her neck and pulling her closer.
Our kiss started softly, exploring each other with tentative tenderness. But it quickly grew desperate, fueled by a hunger we could no longer deny. Her hand gripped my shirt, pulling me closerâjust as eager. I let my hands roam, one resting on her thigh while the other tangled in her hair, my heart racing with every heartbeat.
âY/NâŠâ I breathed against her neck, fighting to maintain control. âYou need to go inside now, or I donât think Iâll be able to let you go.â
âWhy donât you come inside with me?â She pulled my face from her neck, her eyes shimmering with mischief and warmth. âJessica should be gone by now. Itâs Spring Break, remember? I might be the only undergrad left.â
The invitation hung in the air, electric and intoxicating. She wanted me to come home with her. Alone. My mind raced as I followed her into her cozy apartment, a space filled with personal touches and the inviting scent of vanilla.
âWelcome to Casa de Jess and Y/N!â she announced, her excitement infectious. âDo you want a tour, Mister?â
I grinned at her playful spirit. âIf youâd be so kind, Madam.â
With exaggerated politeness, she led me through her apartment, showing off each room like a proud hostess. âAnd this is my bedroom.â When she opened the door, my breath caught. It looked like a whimsical explosion of colorâpink and feathers everywhere, a bright pink comforter proclaiming âLittle Princessâ in white letters.
âOh dear GodâŠâ I muttered, glancing around.
âWhat do you think?â she asked, a hint of seriousness in her tone.
I scratched my neck, searching for the right words. âUm⊠well⊠interesting choice of colors, Y/N.â
She burst into laughter, the sound bright and carefree, and I looked at her, puzzled.
âOh my God! Your face! Priceless!â she exclaimed, doubling over in giggles. âThis is Jessica's room!â She laughed so hard she had to lean against the doorframe for support.
âOh thank GodâŠâ I exhaled in relief. âI donât think I could sleep in here without having nightmares.â I leaned against the doorframe, smiling at the chaos.
But then, her expression shifted from playful to serious as she stepped closer. âDo you expect to be sleeping in my bed anytime soon, Mr. Min?â
âShit⊠no⊠Iâm sorry. Thatâs not what I meant.â I ran a hand through my hair, mortified.
âHeyâŠâ She stepped between my legs, her hand resting on my chest. âI was joking.â She smiled up at me, and my heart raced. I wanted her, needed her, craved her.
I traced her lip with my thumb. âYou know whatâs the first thing I noticed about you, Y/N?â She shook her head, her gaze locked on mine. âYour smile⊠Itâs beautiful.â
Her smile widened. âWhen you smile, you get all gummy and your face softens. Your teeth are small, too. Itâs adorable.â
âAdorable? Here I am, telling you I love your smile, and you tell me mine is imperfect. Iâm hurt,â I joked, placing a hand over my heart.
âItâs not imperfect. Itâs crooked and mind-blowingly sexy.â She giggled, and I couldnât help but snort.
âSee? There it is.â She framed my face with her hands and pulled me into a kiss. Her lips were soft, and I tried to crouch down to level us, but it felt awkward. Instead, I lifted her by the waist, her legs wrapping around my hips. Y/Nâs arms encircled my neck as she deepened the kiss. When her tongue slipped into my mouth, I moaned, pressing her against the doorframe where laughter had just echoed.
My breath came in desperate gasps as I pulled away, kissing along her neck, but the fire ignited within me burned too bright to resist. Her whimpers drove me wild, and there was only so much I could take.
âNext door to the left,â she whispered in my ear.
Holy shitâŠ
I carried her to her bedroom, still wrapped around me. As soon as I opened the door, her scent enveloped me, divine and overwhelming. Trying to stay composed, I ended up slumping onto the bed with her. She squealed and giggled, pulling off my polo shirt. Her hand traced patterns on my chest, making me shudder.
Every cell in my body was on high alert, every touch amplified.
"Y/NâŠ" I groaned when her fingers traced the button-fly of my jeans. "You make me feel like a fucking teenager."
She giggled as my lips found hers. Her hand slipped into my boxers, and when she grasped me, I groaned loudly into her lips. She stroked me tentatively, softly but firmly. After a few strokes, it was too much.
"Y/N, stop⊠please," I begged, panting into her neck. "Iâm going to cum in your hand. I need to slow down."
"Sorry." She released me, sighing. "Too much⊠too soon?"
"Yes⊠No⊠I-I just need a minute." I pressed my forehead into her neck, trying to regain control.
"Okay," she whispered, her hand returning to my hair.
My hands found their way under her shirt, pulling it off. The sight of her, arms stretched above her head, devilish smile on her lips, took my breath away.
"Polkadots?" I teased as her hands flew to my neck, pulling me back into a kiss. Her kisses were eager, biting and pulling at my lip, straining my self-control.
I kissed her neck, my hand slipping under her back. "God, you are so beautifulâŠ" I whispered, unclasping her bra.
Her bra off, I trailed kisses from her neck to her chest, my hands cupping her breasts. Y/N squirmed under me, her moans driving me crazy.
"Can I touch you now?" Her voice was raspy with desire.
"Not yet," I whispered, unbuttoning her jeans.
"Not fairâŠ" she moaned as my fingers dipped into her panties.
My fingers found nothing but wetness, silkiness, and smoothness, a tantalizing blend that drove me wild with anticipation. My dick throbbed painfully as I ground against her leg, barely able to contain myself any longer.
âGod, Y/NâŠâ I murmured, my voice a strained whisper.
She whimpered beneath me, her body trembling as my fingers traced circles to pleasure her. I slipped one finger inside, then another, and her scream of my name filled the room, echoing in my ears like a symphony of ecstasy. The sheer joy of her response made me want to cry into her neck.
âYoongi, pleaseâŠâ she panted, her hands pulling at my hair, desperate. âI want to touch you⊠please⊠I need to feel you.â
GodâŠ
In one swift move, I had Y/N completely naked beneath me, her chest heaving with gasps. I fumbled for the condom in my wallet, and in mere seconds, I was naked too, hovering over her. Wrapping her wrist in my hand, I guided her to touch meâevery inch of me.
Her hand clasped around me, guiding me to her entrance, spreading her wetness. I kept one hand on her breast, the other gripping the blanket next to her face, my control slipping with every passing second. Our eyes locked, the intensity between us palpable.
âYoongi, what are we doing?â Her hand still gripped me, her voice a mix of wonder and worry.
âGod⊠I donât knowâŠâ I panted, my forehead resting on her neck.
âIs this wrong?â
âFeels right to me.â I groaned into her shoulder as she increased the pressure with her hand.
âI mean⊠isnât this against the rules?â
How could she be coherent right now? I was on the brink of losing it, and I wasnât even inside her yet!
âI-I donât know, Y/N⊠Honestly, the rules are very blurry right now.â
âI want you,â she whispered huskily into my ear.
âGod, Y/N. I want you too⊠so fucking much.â
âWould we get in trouble for this?â Her voice held a clear note of worry.
I lifted my head to meet her gaze. âI donât know⊠I donât care⊠Do you?â
Please, please, please, donât ask me to stop now. PleaseâŠ
She shook her head, pulling my face closer to hers in a kiss, positioning herself for me to enter her.
Thank you, God.
Our eyes stayed locked as our bodies connected, the sensation of being surrounded by her utterly mind-blowing. I needed a moment to adjust, Y/Nâs moans and the arch of her back driving me insane as I slowly reached the deepest part of her.
I pulled out as slowly as I could manage, then pushed back in. My eyes rolled back, hands gripping her hips, a moan escaping through my clenched jaw. Nothing in my life had ever compared to this, to being with her. No one came even close.
Our bodies moved in sync, and a new terror gripped me: the fear of not lasting long enough to satisfy her. I sought distractions in her breasts, her neck, her lips, but every part of her only turned me on more.
So, I distracted myself mentally, reciting the first thing that came to mind:
Thereâs antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium⊠And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium... And nickel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium⊠And iron, americium, ruthenium, uraniumâŠ
The words spun through my mind, a desperate attempt to hold onto control, as I plunged deeper into the intoxicating feeling of her.
It's Tuesday morning, and the sun hasn't even thought about rising yet. The lab calls out to me with its endless list of tasks, each one promising that today won't be long enough to tackle them all. I feel exhausted, bone-deep weary from days that have been both draining and, honestly, the best of my life.
Y/N and I spent the weekend wrapped up in each other, mostly on her bed or the couch. Itâs a novel experience for meâtaking a break from work on a weekendâbut I still managed to squeeze in some research: exploring every inch of Y/Nâs body, learning her curves, her soft spots, and the way she sighs when sheâs lost in the moment. Iâm hopelessly addicted, and I doubt Iâll ever get enough.
In between those moments of passion, she opened up about her family, her childhood, and the accident that changed everything. I kept my past hidden, deflecting the conversation back to her with more questions. I learned that I influenced her decision to join Jinâs lab; she remembered me from my time as her oblivious T.A. I teased her about being a little stalker, but the truth is, I loved hearing her talk.
Y/N could chatter for hours, and more surprisingly, I found that I could listen willingly and happily. Sheâs an amazing cook, and with each passing day, she feels more and more like a miracle. I kept adding to my mental list of quirky Y/N facts: her underwear is never a solid colorâalways striped or patterned, like the bra with little pineapples. She re-watches movies until she knows the dialogue by heart. When she made me watch a film about the Titanic, I laughed when I thought it was a documentary. After that, I decided against any sailing plans.
But Monday brought a harsh return to reality. Seeing her in the lab, just out of reach, was tortureâpun intended. She wanted to dive into her experiments, and since I skipped the lab all weekend, I had a mountain of work to tackle. We managed to keep things professional, but the tension in the air was thick. Monday nights were reserved for her familyâs Skype calls, leaving me alone, tossing and turning in my bed, missing her like crazy.
As I trudged through the hallways, still groggy, I spotted Y/N sitting by the lab door. With her earphones in, she was bobbing her head, lost in her own world. The moment she saw me, she pulled them out, a broad smile lighting up her face.
I swear Iâll never tire of that smileâŠ
âGod, Y/N. What are you doing here so early?â I grumble, struggling to match her morning cheer.
âI couldnât sleep! Iâm dying to see if the experiment worked!â she exclaims, bouncing on her toes.
Of courseâŠ
âMhmâ I mumble, fumbling for the keys.Â
âItâs nerve-racking! A whole day of work, then waiting sixteen hoursâsixteen hours!âto see the results?âÂ
The key sticks in the lock, and I jiggle it impatiently.Â
âCâmon, câmonâŠâ she chants, practically bouncing.
âY/NâŠâ I groan, turning to her. âI havenât had coffee yet. Would you calm down?â
Finally, the door clicks open, and she bolts inside, nearly tripping over me. She rushes straight to the incubator, while I drag myself to my desk, her excited chants of âYES! YES! YES!â echoing behind me.
I canât help but snort. I guess her experiment worked.
She sets the petri dishes on the bench, and her squeal of delight fills the room. âThey worked!â she cries, launching herself at me. I barely catch her as she wraps her legs around my waist.
How does she have this much energy? Itâs not even eight yet!
âJesus Christ, woman! What are you on this morning?âÂ
Her arms encircle my neck, and she beams at me, making my own lips twitch upward.
âHi, Grumpy.â She runs a hand through my hair.
âHiâŠâ
âGood morning.â
âMorning, Y/N.â
Her lips find mine, and Iâm a goner. I moan into her mouth as she tugs at my hair, ready to take her right there on the bench, on the floorâanywhere. But weâre in the lab.
âY/NâŠâ I whisper, kissing her neck.
âHmmm?â
âSomeone might come in.â I nibble her earlobe, making her squirm.
âItâs early,â she whispers, her voice husky as she pulls at my hair.Â
GodâŠ
I set her down on the bench, clumsily knocking over some plates. âShit... sorry.â I try to pick them up, but sheâs pulling at my jeans, pressing herself against me, and I make a bigger mess.
âDid you touch my samples?â she asks, feigning anger, echoing my words from when I snapped at her earlier.
I smile, but the way she bites her lip and the hooded look in her eyes snaps my resolve. My lips crash into hers, and my hands slide under her shirt as I press her back onto the bench, scattering more plates.
Fuck, Iâm going to ruin her experiment.
I lift her, her legs locking around my waist. I mean to move her to the unused bench behind me, but her grinding against me messes with my balance. I knock over a chair, slamming my back against the corner of the bench. Groaning in pain, I secure her in my arms.
âAre you okay?âÂ
The pain clears my head. Reality rushes back, and I realize what weâre about to doâin the lab, on a Tuesday morning, when anyone could walk in.
Just then, I hear rattling keys from the hallway.
FuckâŠ
I set Y/N down, and she stumbles. I steady her, stepping back just as Jimin walks in.
Y/N smooths her shirt, picking up plates, her face a vivid crimson. I run a hand through my hair, rubbing my sore back with the other. The pain is nothing compared to the throbbing in my pants, but thereâs no fixing that now.
Jimin looks at us, eyebrows raised, then heads to his desk. I let out a sigh, glancing at Y/Nâsheâs still picking up plates, cheeks burning.
Could we be any more obvious?
Y/N and I were deep in conversation about her results, our voices low enough that Jimin, across the lab, pretended not to be listening. Y/Nâs work was nothing short of exceptional, and while pride swelled within me, I needed to keep it grounded in reality. Success like this was rare; she needed to understand its value, to cherish it, but also to brace for the inevitable setbacks.
âAre you familiar with Murphyâs Law?â I asked as she finished jotting down her notes.
âOf course,â she replied, turning to face me, her eyes sparkling. âDid you know his first name was Edward?â
âWhat? No.â Murphy, as far as I was concerned, was just Murphy.
âYep. Edward Murphy,â she said, her face serious as she began tidying up her workspace.
âYouâre kidding,â I said, moving closer, disbelief evident in my voice.
âNope.â
âHow do you know that?â
âI watch Jeopardy a lot.â A small, embarrassed smile tugged at her lips as our eyes met.
âWhy am I not surprised?â I muttered, watching her shrug off her lab coat. Her movements were effortlessly captivating.
âWere you going to say something about Murphy?â she asked, snapping me out of my daze.
âYeah, right,â I said, shaking off the distraction. âMurphyâs Law applies to the lab too.â
âOh, I know. âEverything that can go wrong will go wrong,ââ she recited, her tone matter-of-fact.
âExactly.â I nodded, impressed.
âBut I donât believe in that,â she said firmly, a spark of defiance lighting her features.
âOf course you donât.â I had inched closer, almost beside her now.
She gestured toward her successful experiment, a triumphant smile spreading across her face. âMurphy was just a pessimist.â
âAnd youâre a glass-half-full kind of person?â I probed, towering over her with a teasing grin.
âTechnically, the glass is always full. Half with water, half with air.â Her eyes crinkled with mischief.
âAre you trying to be a smart ass?â I leaned my elbow on the bench, bringing us face to face.
âThat depends,â she said, her voice dropping, locking her gaze onto mine.Â
âOn what?â
âDo you like smart asses?â She traced a finger along my forearm, sending an electric jolt through my body.
I staggered back, giving her a warning look. She couldnât be doing this to meânot now.
âAnyway,â she continued, taking a deep breath, âhow many of Murphyâs laws do you know?â
Classic Y/Nâalways one step ahead. I sighed, admitting, âJust the one.â
âThatâs it?â Her eyebrows shot up in surprise.
âEnlighten me, then.â
ââLeft to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse,ââ she recited proudly, and I found her knowledge oddly attractive.
A glance at the clock reminded me of the work ahead. How inconvenient.
âThatâs a good one. And itâs true,â I said.
ââMatter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value,ââ she continued.
I chuckled. âAlso true.â
âYoongi, youâre one of the grumpiest, most pessimistic people I know, and you donât know any of these?â She placed her hands on her hips, teasing me with that playful spark in her eyes.
That was it. I straightened from the bench, glaring at her. She was provoking me, and God, did I want her.
âLast one, I promise,â she said with a smile. ââHot glass looks exactly the same as cold glass.â Learned that one the hard way.â
Our laughter mingled until Jimin cleared his throat behind us. âCan you keep it down? Iâm trying to do science here.â
I rolled my eyes at Jimin, then turned back to Y/N, who was smoothing her ponytail, giggles subsiding. Her happiness was infectious, and I got lost in her eyes.
âY/N,â I said, struggling to keep my voice even, âwe should check on that gel.â
âWhat gel?â she asked, puzzled.
âThe gel, Y/N.â I stared at her, hoping sheâd understand.
âOh⊠right,â she said, her smile turning knowing.
I followed her to the dark room, anticipation thrumming in my veins. Once inside, I switched off the lights, activating the IN USE signal. Y/N took a sharp breath, her excitement palpable.
âAre you trying to drive me mad?â I whispered, reaching for her face in the darkness.
âMaybe,â she whispered back, her breath warm against my skin.
My hands traveled to her neck, fingers sliding under her ponytail to release her hair. âY/N⊠this isnât smart. We could get caught.â I lifted her onto the counter, the cold bench pressing into my back.
âNot smart,â she agreed, her breath hitching against my neck.
âDo you know how hard it is to keep my hands off you when you provoke me?â My hand slipped under her shirt, cupping her breast. She gasped, and I pressed myself closer, making my point clear.
âOh, itâs hard all right,â she giggled, wrapping her legs around me.
âYou drive me insane, Y/N,â I murmured, biting her lip. She moaned softly, fisting my hair. âPlease⊠can I?â
âOh God, yes⊠Yoongi, please.â
She didnât have to ask twice. I lifted her with one hand, fumbling with the buttons of her jeans with the other. In seconds, I was inside her, stifling my moans into her shoulder.
God bless a dark room.
The weeks drift by in a blur of lab work and secret rendezvous. Y/N is a constant distractionâshe teases me, contradicts me, drives me mad, excites me, motivates me, and challenges me all at once. Iâve never felt happier. Having her in my life has transformed my days from monotonous routines into a whirlwind of laughter and unexpected joy. I catch myself cracking jokes that arenât laced with sarcasm, and I genuinely enjoy explaining new techniques to her, savoring our discussions and her insightful challenges. I never imagined mentoring could be so thrillingâor so fulfilling. Y/N pushes me to be better, to be happier, to have fun.
The lab buzzes with the unspoken tension of our secret. Iâm sure everyone suspects something, but we maintain a facade of professionalism. Our attempts to date outside the lab are constantly thwarted by inconvenient encounters with colleagues. Itâs frustrating as hell. I donât care what people think, but the risk of getting into trouble with Jin or Y/N losing her chance to work in the lab keeps us cautious. So, we play the game, keeping up appearances, even though weâve stolen away to the dark room eight times⊠not that Iâm counting.
As the semester winds down, it becomes harder to heed Yoonjiâs advice not to overthink the future. Y/N hopes to land a summer internship in the lab, but I havenât had the heart to tell her how unlikely that is. Jin has never offered an internship after just one semester. I could vouch for her, but sheâs adamant about not wanting special treatment. The thought of her securing an internship elsewhere, leaving for the summer, gnaws at me. The impending separation looms like a dark cloud, promising a long and miserable summer.
Tonight, Jin is hosting the department's end-of-semester party. I sit in my car, ready to drive Y/N there, trying to suppress my annoyance at having to pretend all night. Weâre picking up Hoseok and Serena too, a cover to avoid suspicion. Waiting in the car like some kind of creep, I watch the building's entrance.
Then I see her, and all my irritation dissipates. Thank God for May weatherâY/N is wearing a skirt. She smiles at me through the window, and as she gets in, her lips meet mine, her hands finding their way to my neck. I encircle her waist, breathing in deeply, savoring her scent. Even after two months, my need for her is as urgent as ever.
âHiâŠâ she breathes as she pulls back, her fingers tracing patterns in my hair. I close my eyes, enjoying her touch.
âHiâŠâ I murmur, resting my forehead against hers. âYouâre wearing a skirt.â I groan, my hand sliding down from her waist, over her thigh, and under the soft fabric.
âI am,â she says, her lips brushing my neck. I tease her inner thigh, each stroke inching closer to where I want my fingers to be. âWhat are you doing?â she whispers in my ear.
âI donât want to go to this thing.â I nibble her earlobe. âCan we just stay here?â My fingers hover over her panties, but she traps my hand between her thighs.
âNoâŠâ she breathes, her voice shaky. âYou promised weâd go. Jin invited me personally. Please.â
Her plea makes me relent, and I move back, our foreheads still touching. âBut youâre wearing a skirt. You know what that does to me?â I caress her thigh again, unable to resist.
âI have an idea,â she giggles.
âIâm going to be hard and uncomfortable the whole time,â I say, trying to keep my tone light.
âIâll take care of it afterward,â she promises. I groan again, starting the car.
âThank you,â she whispers.
As I drive, Y/N fumbles with the radio, displeased with the music.
âOh, I know!â She reaches for the glove box. âCan we listen to this?â She holds up my momâs Carpenters CD.
My chest tightens, but I try to smile. I havenât told her about my parents, and while she knows I moved in with my aunt and uncle as a kid, she hasnât pried. Sheâs giving me time, waiting for me to open up.
âNot a chance,â I snap, slipping into our usual banter.
âCâmon, I want to listen to it.â
âWell, I donât.â
âWhy have a Carpenters CD if you donât like them?â
âY/NâŠâ
I really donât want to get into it tonight.
âJust one song, please?â Her eager eyes and smile make it impossible to refuse. I nod, focusing on the road. She opens the case and sees my momâs note, and my chest tightens again.
âOhâŠâ she says softly. âYou didnât want me to see this.â She closes the case. âIâm so sorry, I didnât mean to pry.â
âItâs okay, Y/N. Just put the CD on. Itâs fine.â
âNo, Yoongi. This obviously has sentimental value. Iâm sorry.â Concern etches her features.
âHey, donât be upset.â I reach for her face, my thumb brushing her cheek. âLetâs forget it. Iâll tell you about the note another time. Okay?â
âIâm sorry,â she repeats, eyes locked on mine.
âItâs fine.â I smile, pushing thoughts of my parents away. I grab my iPod, knowing exactly what will cheer her up. When The Police starts playing, her smile returns, and all feels right in the world.
I place my hand over hers on her thigh, the sensation of the skirt fabric under our intertwined fingers reminding me of the night ahead.
Oh God, the skirt, the party⊠this is going to be hell.
âHey, Y/N! Ready to mingle with the senior citizens?â Hoseokâs voice cuts through the chatter as he hops into the car and settles behind me.
âSo, whatâs the plan?â Serena chimes in, sliding into the backseat beside Y/N.
âCan we please keep this low-key? Weâre just giving Y/N a ride, nothing more,â I say, trying to keep the irritation from seeping into my tone. Of course, they ignore me.
âY/N, how about you and I walk in first? The boys can follow behind us,â Serena suggests, leaning forward to prop herself between our seats like a self-appointed traffic cop.
âOr⊠I could stroll in with Y/N, my arm around her shoulders. You know, start some fun rumors,â Hoseok pipes up, a cheeky grin on his face.
âOw!â He yelps as Serena gives him a swift elbow to the ribs. âCome on, babe! I was just joking!â
âSeriously, Hoseok. That dog act is getting old,â I mutter, catching Serenaâs annoyed glare in the rearview mirror.
âHow is this not a big deal?â I groan under my breath.
âHow about we all walk in holding hands? All four of us!â Y/N suggests, her eyes sparkling with mischief.
I turn to scowl at her. âYou too?â She flashes me a grin, scrunching her nose playfully.
We finally pull up to Jin's house, and as we pile out of the car, I notice Y/N walking ahead, chatting with Serena. I fall back next to Hoseok, a knot of anxiety tightening in my stomach.Â
Inside, Y/N glances back at me, then disappears into the crowd. I greet Jin and grab a drink, then find a spot by the back wall. Familiar faces from the lab are scattered around, some with their families. I find myself chatting with a few of them, even playing with a little kid in a sweater that says âFuture Scientist.â I snort at the ironyâhere's hoping he grows up to be an engineer instead.
To my surprise, Iâm not hating this night. I lean against the wall, stealing glances at Y/N as she lights up while talking to Prof. Tanner, one of the few female professors in our department. Iâve heard she can be a total nightmare, but sheâs all smiles for Y/N. What gives?Â
As Y/N mingles, I canât help but wonder if thereâs anyone who wouldnât be drawn to her charm. Just then, Jungkook appears out of nowhere, planting a quick kiss on her cheek. My heart races, and I shoot up from my chair.
âSheâs got it under control,â Serena whispers, her grip firm on my elbow as we watch Y/N step away from Jungkook, saying something before he wanders off. I let out a breath I didnât realize I was holding, sinking back down in my seat. Y/N glances my way, her eyes briefly meeting mine before she moves on.
âYoongi, you need to get it together. Youâre staring at her like some creepy stalker,â Serena says, finally releasing my elbow.
I sigh, knowing sheâs right. We bicker a lot, but beneath her icy exterior, she really does look out for me.
Hoseok appears, holding another round of drinks, and I begin to feel a little lighter. But when I find Y/N again, sheâs deep in conversation with Jin. I can see the passion in her gestures, the way she lights up as she talks about her project. It fills me with pride to see how far sheâs come this semester, how confident she is now.
Jin glances at me a couple of times during their conversation. I try to focus on my drink, but the curiosity gnaws at me. Is he proud of her? Does he see what I see?
âDude, Jimin is giving you a death stare,â Hoseok whispers, snapping me out of my thoughts. I follow his gaze and meet Jiminâs dark brown eyes. He quickly looks away, a slight frown on his face.
I shrug, trying to shake off the feeling of unease. âHe has a weird stare. You think he suspects something?â
âProbably,â Hoseok says. âI donât know how much longer you can keep this charade up. Itâs torture.â I rub my chest, where a tightness has been growing since Y/N walked away.
âJeon canât take a hint, huh?â Hoseok mutters, and I see Y/N accepting a drink from Jungkook.
Are you kidding me?
My hand tightens into a fist on my thigh as I down the rest of my drink, a wave of frustration crashing over me. Y/N smiles at Jungkook, and while Iâm somewhat relieved to see it doesnât reach her eyes like when she smiles at me, it still makes my blood boil. I want her by my side, to claim her as mine. I want Jungkook to back off.
âDude, calm down,â Hoseok says, placing a hand on my shoulder. I turn to him, exhaling sharply through my nose.
My night is crumbling, and I feel on the verge of snapping.
âI canât, okay? Iâm going to take a breather.â I stand abruptly, forcing myself not to look for Y/N again. I know if I see her with him, I might lose it and drag her away like some caveman.
âWant me to come with you?â Hoseok asks, his concern evident.
âNo, Iâm fine,â I reply, but my tone lacks conviction.
I storm into Jinâs sprawling backyard, seeking solace in the shadows. I need to figure out whatâs happening inside my head. Why does this pressure in my chest hurt so much? Itâs ridiculousâI shouldnât be feeling like this over someone. I should be rational.Â
Sinking onto a bench, I rest my head in my hands.Â
God, Iâm losing my mind. Or maybe Iâm turning into a hypochondriac⊠or both.
I just want Y/N. I need her. I miss her. I love her.
My head falls back against the bench.Â
Is this what love feels like?Â
Suddenly, I hear a soft voice. âHey⊠whatâs wrong?âÂ
I didnât even notice Y/N coming outside. I lift my head and lean back, letting out a deep sigh.
âNothing, Iâm fine,â I say, but the anger slips through despite my best efforts.
âYoongiâŠâ She sits beside me and takes my hand in hers.
âThis party sucks!â I snap, but she doesnât flinch. She never does. Y/N knows me too well, understands my rough edges. I never want to take my frustration out on her.
âWhat sucks?â Her voice is steady, soothing. How does she do it?
âThis stupid partyâŠâ I trail off, staring at our hands.
She laughs lightly. âAre you drunk?â
âNo! Iâm not!â Realizing I raised my voice again, I groan and try to regain my composure. âI want you beside me. I want to tell Jungkook to back off because youâre mine. I want to hold your hand, put my arm around you, keep you warm. I donât want to hide this anymore.â
âI knowâŠâ Y/N reaches for my face, her fingers brushing my hair behind my ear. I lean into her touch, closing my eyes as her words unravel me. âI want to be beside you too,â she whispers, and it feels like the world has shifted. âBut right now, itâs not smart for us. The semester is almost over. Iâll find an internship in a different lab, and then we wonât have to hide anymore.â
So Iâm screwed either way. If she finds a different lab, we wonât have to keep this secret, but I wonât get to see her every day. And if she stays, weâll be stuck in this limbo.
âCan we go soon?â I plead, my frustration boiling over. I want to escape this place, take Y/N somewhere safe where I can finally let myself be with her.
âWe just got here,â she giggles, trying to lighten the mood. âStop being so grumpy and letâs get back inside.â She rises, but I grip her hand tightly.
âYou know I hate when you call me grumpy.â
âNo, you donât. You love it,â she counters with a bright smile.
I do love it. And I love you.
The words sit heavy on my tongue, burning to be spoken, but I hold them back.
I pulled her gently between my legs, my hand finding its way to her cheek as I brought our lips together. She kissed me back, soft and tentative, but then, with a push against my chest, she pulled away.
I groaned, rising from the bench. âIâll go in first. You follow in a few minutes, okay?â I needed a moment to gather my thoughts, and the warmth of her fingers lingering on my chest felt like a whisper of reassurance.
âYeahâŠâ I breathed out, almost a whine.
âAnd try to have some fun.â She shot me a playful smile that sent a flutter through my chest.
âYeeeesâŠâ I groaned again, turning to walk away.
âYouâre being a big baby, you know that, right?â Her teasing tone made me roll my eyes.
âY/N, donât provoke me,â I sighed, tugging at the hair on the back of my neck.
âOkay, okay.â She giggled, her laughter lightening the air between us. âI promise to sit by you for a bit.â With that, she let me head inside alone.
I lingered outside for a few more moments, trying to cool off and collect my thoughts before re-entering the fray.
Just as I was about to step back in, Jimin stumbled outside, looking a bit worse for wear. âYoongi! There you are,â he said, plopping down on the bench next to me.
âJimin,â I greeted, not really in the mood for small talk.
âSo⊠are you like social now?â he asked, his words slurred from the alcohol heâd consumed.
âWhat do you mean?â I feigned interest, though I really didnât care.
âYou never used to come to these things,â he pointed out, sounding suspicious, as if Iâd committed some sort of crime.
I shrugged and stood up, feeling the urge to escape. âAre you sleeping with your undergrad?â he blurted, trying to whisper but failing miserably.
A glare shot across my face as I realized he suspected something. Jimin was definitely too drunk for this conversation. âJimin, I think you should stop drinking,â I advised, and when he just stared blankly, I added, âI better get back inside before Hoseok thinks I left without him.â I didnât wait for his reply as I headed back in.
Y/N was sitting with Hoseok and Serena when I walked over, and the moment she smiled at me, my chest tightened with a mix of longing and pride. I wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch her hand or leg, but I managed to sit back, trying to play it cool.Â
I was surprisingly glad Iâd come. Iâd anticipated a dull evening, but it turned out to be quite enjoyable. Watching Y/N all dolled up, chatting with everyone, filled me with a sense of pride.Â
Then, as Jin started playing Nelly, the atmosphere shifted. Seeing Dr. Amun-Kebi, bow tie and all, dancing to âHot in Hereâ was an image that would be burned in my memory forever.
Later, Y/N paced nervously through my room in her underwear, her damp hair leaving a faint mist in the air. I watched her, my heart pounding at the sight of her anxious movements as she rummaged through her bag. The tension felt heavy, almost suffocating.
âY/N, youâre going to do great,â I said, my voice still laced with sleep as I tried to offer her some comfort.
âYou donât know that,â she replied tightly, finally finding what she was looking for.Â
âYou know this stuff better than anyone else in that room,â I said, propping myself up on my elbows to catch her gaze.
âThatâs not true. Youâll be there too.â She faced me, comb in hand, her worry evident as she began to untangle her wet hair.
âExactly! So, youâve got nothing to worry about.â I flashed her a reassuring smile, but it felt weak against her rising anxiety.
âI stutter when Iâm nervous,â she admitted, her voice wavering as she pulled out her clothes and bent over, her vulnerability stark against the backdrop of my cluttered room.
âThen try to relax,â I said, taking a deep breath. âYouâve put in so much work, and you know your project inside and out. Youâll do amazing, Y/N.â
âWhat if Jin asks me something I donât know?â Panic danced in her eyes as she placed her hands on her hips.
âYou donât have to know everything. Iâll be there tooâthis is my project too. Remember, itâs not a test. The point is to discuss the results together, nothing more.â
Slowly, her frown faded, replaced by a tentative grin. She climbed back onto the bed, straddling me, her wet hair dripping onto my shoulder. The scent of her filled the air, intoxicating, as she leaned in to kiss me softly.
I lay back, tracing the strap of her bra with my finger. âI know how to get you to relax,â I teased.
âNot a chance, Grumpy. Weâd be late,â she shot back, rubbing against me just enough to send a bolt of desire through my body.
âY/N, youâre such a tease,â I groaned, dropping my head back in exasperation.
âAnd you have a foul mouth, Min,â she replied, disappearing into the bathroom, her voice echoing playfully.
âWhich, coincidentally, you love,â I called after her.
She poked her head out, toothbrush in her mouth. âThat⊠I do.â
With a lazy stretch, I got up from the bed, dragging my feet toward the bathroom. She stood by the sink, brushing her teeth in her adorable smiley-face underwear, making me ache with need. âYouâre going to pay for my blue balls tonight,â I murmured into her neck, eliciting a giggle as my stubble brushed against her soft skin.Â
She bent over to rinse her mouth, pressing her behind into the growing bulge in my boxers, causing a deep groan to escape my lips. I playfully smacked her ass as she squealed, darting out of the bathroom.
âDonât take forever, Grumpy. I want to be early to set things up!â
Y/N and I stood in the seminar room, preparing everything for the presentation. The space was cozy, just big enough for the nine of us in our group, including Jin. After confirming that all the slides displayed correctly, I shot Y/N an encouraging smile and took a seat toward the back, keeping a close eye on her.
I could see the nerves bubbling beneath her composed exterior. We had gone over every detail last night, and I knew she was ready for this moment.
Jin kicked things off with some lab business, and then it was Y/Nâs turn to shine. As she started her talk, she stumbled over her words just once at the beginning, but quickly found her rhythm, her confidence blossoming with every passing second. My heart swelled with pride as I watched her speak; she was absolutely incredible.
Jin seemed impressed too, prompting her to elaborate on a few points, which she handled flawlessly. But then Jimin jumped in with questions that felt a bit off-base, probing into unrelated techniques and approaches. Y/N stumbled over a couple of his inquiries, but she made educated guesses, maintaining her poise. Still, I could feel my irritation rising. What the hell was Jiminâs problem?
âThat was all nice⊠uh⊠Y/N?â Jimin hesitated, clearly relishing the moment as he mispronounced her name. My blood boiled at his deliberate slight.Â
âI just donât see the point.â
âThe p-point?â Y/N stuttered again, and it took everything in me to keep my temper in check. I wanted to tear Jimin apart for being such a jerk.
âYeah, I mean⊠so you found two new toxin genes. How is that going to help anything?â Jimin shrugged dismissively, and I could feel my frustration reaching a boiling point.
Before Y/N could respond, I jumped in, my voice sharper than I intended. âOh, Iâm sorry, Jimin. Are you questioning the impact of my research?â
Jimin turned to face me, a smug expression creeping across his face.
âYoongiâŠâ Jinâs warning gaze made it clear I needed to rein it in.
âNo, seriously. Please, tell me if you are,â I shot back, my eyes locking onto Jimin's, daring him to continue.
âActually,â Y/N interjected softly from the front of the room, pulling our attention back to her. âI think I might be able to answer that question.â She glanced at me for permission, and I nodded, stepping back to let her take the spotlight.
âPlease, go ahead,â Jin encouraged her, his tone supportive.
âWell⊠if these two toxins are, as weâve shown, involved in the cancerous growth of stomach epithelium cells, then studying their protein structure and interaction will provide insight into the anomalous stomach pathology caused by H. pylori⊠and its possible cure.â
I couldnât have put it better myself. My heart swelled with pride and something deeper. Marry me?
âMarvelous!â Jin exclaimed, while Jimin huffed, sinking into his chair in defeat. My annoyance at Jimin evaporated, replaced by overwhelming joy. I couldnât take my eyes off Y/N as she smiled, tucking her hair behind her ears. I wanted to run to her, scoop her up in my arms, and kiss her senseless, but I managed to stay seated, a wide grin plastered on my face.
As the room emptied, I lingered behind with Y/N, pretending to help pack up the projector and laptop. It was just an excuse to stay close to her, to contain the waves of emotions crashing inside me. Jin congratulated her one last time before leaving, and I counted his steps, waiting until he was far enough away. My heart raced, and when I could wait no longer, I dropped everything and rushed to Y/N, cupping her face in my hands and kissing her desperately.
âYou did amazing!â I said, my voice breathless with excitement.
âI was so nervous!â she admitted, her eyes wide.
âI know, but you nailed it!â I kissed her again, unable to get enough of her.
Still holding her face, I searched her eyes. âGeez, Y/N⊠youâre incredible. Iââ I leaned closer, resting my hands on the table behind her, my lips trying to convey everything words couldnât. It was more than just her success or my pride as a scientist; it was so much deeper than that.
âI want to cook you dinner tonight,â I said, pulling her into a tight embrace.
She smiled up at me. âYou do?â
âYes. Weâre having a celebration date at my place.â
âOkay.â
âOkay.â I kissed the top of her head, reluctantly letting her go as we gathered our things to head back to the lab. My heart was full, my mind racing with excitement and a twinge of fear. Iâd never been happier in my life.
Now the only question was: what on earth was I going to cook for Y/N?
We returned to the lab, the earlier tension between Y/N and me fading as we wrapped up our tasks. Her eyes sparkled with determination as she headed off for her final exam, and we agreed to meet at my apartment for dinner later. Just as I was about to slip out early to prepare, an email notification pinged in my inbox.
From: Seokjin Kim, seokjinkim(at)fhcrc(.)org  Sent: Friday, May 13, 2024, 4:27 PM  To: Yoongi Min, ygmin(at)u(.)washington(.)edu Â
Yoongi,
We need to talk about your undergrad. Please stop by my office.
Jin
-
Dr. Seokjin Kim  Member, Division of Basic Sciences  Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center  1100 Fairview Avenue North  Seattle, WA 98109-1024 Â
Shit. A cold sweat broke out on my forehead. Jin had never summoned me to his office like this before. He usually came down to the lab if he wanted to talk. The email's terse tone sent a chill racing down my spine. There was only one reason heâd call me in like thisâhe knew about Y/N and me.Â
That jerk, Jimin, must have said something.Â
No point speculating now; I had to face Jin. My heart raced as I imagined the worst. Heâd tell me Y/N and I couldnât be together, that she wouldnât be able to work in the lab anymore. The thought twisted my gut with regret. I should have been more careful, kept my feelings in check.
Shit.
I knocked on Jinâs door and stepped inside. He was facing his computer, barely glancing at me as I sank into the chair across from him.Â
âHello, Yoongi. Take a seat,â he said, his voice calm but layered with an undercurrent I couldnât quite place. âLet me just finish this email.â
I watched him type, the sound of the keys echoing like a death knell. Finally, he turned, a smile dancing on his lips that didnât quite reach his eyes. I nodded, trying to mask my nerves, my hands gripping the chair arms.
âI have to say, I was very impressed with Y/Nâs seminar. She showed a broad knowledge of the project, answered questions confidently, and gathered an impressive amount of data for just one semester.â
âShe is incredible,â I blurted out before I could stop myself.
Nice, Yoongi. Way to keep it cool.
Jin raised an eyebrow, nodding. âShe does seem very mature, dedicated, and hardworking.â
âShe is.â I couldnât help but think of all the moments weâd shared, both in the lab and out.
âSo, I called you in here for two things. First, I want to offer Y/N a position as a summer intern. What do you think?âÂ
My heart leaped. Jin had never offered an undergrad a position after just one semester. This was amazing! Y/N was going to be thrilled.Â
âThatâs⊠um⊠thatâs great! She completely deserves it, and it would be an incredible opportunity for her. She wants to apply to grad school next fall, so summer research would be really beneficial.â
âI see⊠so you approve?â Jin asked, tilting his head.
The way he looked at me made my blood run cold. He didnât need my approval. Something was off.
âO-of course,â I stammered, my instincts telling me there was more to this conversation.
âWell, that leads to the second thing I wanted to discuss.â He shifted in his chair, crossing his legs as if he were settling in for a serious talk.Â
Here we goâŠ
âIt seems you have a very close relationship with Y/N. You seem very⊠protective of her.â
I knew it! Jimin must have spilled the beans. My fists clenched at the thought.
âNow, I understand itâs in your natureâher being under your care and allâto be protective. But thereâs something else,â Jin continued, tapping his finger against his lips thoughtfully. âIâve noticed the change sheâs brought about in you. Itâs fascinating.â
Geez⊠Jin and his fascination.
Before I could respond, he went on. âOf course, I would never ask if thereâs something unprofessional going on because that would be tactless. However, you should know that involving yourself in a romantic relationship with an undergradâespecially if sheâll be getting paid for the summerâis completely unacceptable.â
Fucking shit.
My hands gripped the chair so tightly that my knuckles turned white. I couldnât do this. Hiding my feelings for Y/N felt impossible, but Iâd have toâfor her sake. This was an incredible opportunity. Weâd have to keep it up until she graduated. Damn, that was a whole year! Maybe I could graduate sooner, find a job in another labâŠ
Jin was staring at me, eyebrows raised, when suddenly he burst out laughing, the sound echoing in the small office.
âIâm just messing with you, kid.â He slapped his thighs as his laughter subsided. âYour personal life outside this lab is none of my business. As long as it doesnât affect your work or hers, I have no problem with it.â
I stared at him, dumbfounded. Did he just say what I thought he said?
âYou know, when I met Mrs. Kim, she was a post-doc in this lab.â
âI didnât know thatâŠâ I exhaled, the tension draining from my body.
âWell, now that this is settled, Iâll offer Y/N the position.â
âO-okay.â
Still in shock, I left Jinâs office. Before I even reached the lab, my phone rangâY/N, squealing about Jinâs offer. I didnât mention my conversation with him; Iâd save that for tonight during our celebration dinner.
Our celebration dinner⊠Oh God. What was I thinking? I couldnât cook!
I definitely needed to stop at the grocery store unless I wanted to serve Y/N mac and cheese for dinner. Sighing, I realized I had no idea what to prepare. Time to turn to my all-knowing best friend: Google.
Search: What to cook for your girlfriend? Search Results: 5 Easy Meals To Cook For Her â AskMen.com
AskMen.com? Seriously?Â
Chipotle Shrimp KabobsâŠ
What the actual fuck?
SautĂ©ed Lemon Garlic ChickenâŠ
Really, AskMen? Really?Â
I groaned, frustration bubbling up. This was not going well. Maybe I should try again.
Search: Easy dinner for two Search Results: Cooking for Two Recipes â Allrecipes.com
Allrecipes.com? I think Iâve heard Yoonji mention this site before.Â
Salmon with Raspberry Ginger GlazeâŠ
Holy shit! And these are the easy ones?
I slammed my forehead against the desk repeatedly. Okay, maybe I should stick to something I already knew how to make⊠like grilled cheese. Or pasta! I could whip up some pasta sauce.
Search: Easy Pasta Sauce Search Results: Easy Vodka Sauce â Allrecipes.com
Now weâre talking.Â
I jotted down all the ingredients and headed to the store, feeling a flicker of hope.
I was chopping onions into tiny squares when my phone buzzed with a text from Y/N.
Undergrad: Iâm done with the semester! Woot! Woot! Do you want me to come early to help with dinner?
Yes⊠please⊠no!
Câmon, I can handle this. How hard could it be? Just follow the protocol, Min.
Me: What? No faith in me, Y/L/N?
I typed quickly, trying not to let the onion juice splatter all over my cell.Â
ShitâŠ
Undergrad: I would prefer not to get food poisoning. I have an internship this summer! :)â
I couldnât help but smile at the screen.
Me: Youâre distracting me. See you here at 7. P.S. Smiley faces are lame.â
Undergrad: And you, my Grumpy, are adorable!
I chuckled, my heart racing with excitement. Maybe I could do this after all. Just as long as I didnât burn the kitchen down.
When Y/N knocked at the door, it was only a quarter to seven. I had the garlic bread in the oven, and the sauce still needed another thirty minutes to simmer. Iâd hoped to squeeze in a quick shower before she arrived, but clearly, that plan was a bust.
I opened the door to find Y/N standing there, a bright smile lighting up her face. âDid you wrestle the tomatoes?â she giggled, tiptoeing in for a quick kiss. âHiâŠâ
I wanted nothing more than to pull her close, but I was covered in tomato juice and splatters from head to toe. âGive me a sec,â I said, retreating to my bedroom to change.
When I returned, she was by the sink, eyes wide as she surveyed the chaos Iâd created. âGeez, Yoongi. How many things are you making?â She gestured dramatically to the pile of pots and utensils stacked high.
âJust the one dish, Y/N,â I replied, trying to sound casual while stirring the bubbling sauce.
âDid you feel the need to use every pot in the kitchen? Were you trying them all out?â She raised an eyebrow, a teasing smile on her lips.
âOkay, Y/L/N. Youâre getting on my nerves. Iâm trying to cook here.â I continued mixing, trying to ignore her playful jabs.
âYou should use a wooden spoon,â she advised, inching closer with a wooden spoon in hand. âThe metal one makes the sauce acidic. The metal reacts with the pH of the tomatoesââ
I shot her a glare. âI didnât even know I owned a wooden spoon,â I grumbled, taking it from her. âI almost have a PhD, you know.â
âOkay⊠okay⊠Mr. PhD.â She waved her hands in mock surrender. âCan I play some music?â She reached for my laptop on the counter and gasped, laughter bubbling out. âOh my gosh⊠you googled the meaning of sautĂ©ed?â
âOkay, thatâs it, Y/L/N.â I pretended to drop the wooden spoon over the counter dramatically. âNo dinner for you.â I pointed a finger at her, struggling to keep a straight face.
âIâm sorry!â she laughed, and I stepped closer, cornering her against the counter. âIt does smell delicious,â she whispered, running a finger down my chest.
âAnd I havenât even showered yet.â I dropped kisses along her neck, my hand sliding beneath the hem of her shirt.
âYou do smell delicious too,â she said in a husky whisper.
âLiar. I stink of onions.â
âOnly a little bit.â She giggled into my neck as I lifted her up onto the counter. âThanks for making me dinner.â
âMy pleasure,â I murmured, nuzzling her neck. She smelled amazingâlike warmth and sunshine. I pulled back to look into her eyes. âCongratulations on your internship, Y/N. You absolutely earned it.â
âYeah⊠about that,â she said, a nervous giggle escaping her lips. âI havenât said yes yet.â
âWhy not?â I asked, confusion painting my features.
âWell, I have to think about it.â
âY/N, itâs an incredible opportunity. Jin has never offered an internship to a student after only one semester of work.â
âI know⊠butâŠâ She bit her lip, trailing off.
âWhat is it?â I cupped her cheek with my hand, rubbing my thumb along her skin.
âWell⊠are we going to be okay if I join the lab for the summer? Weâll have to keep hiding this, and I know itâs been getting⊠um⊠difficult⊠for both of us.â
I sighed in relief, a smile creeping onto my face. It was sweet of her to include herself, especially when Iâd been the one making everything complicated. The thought of her giving up this chance for us made my heart swell. âYeah⊠about thatâŠâ I echoed her earlier words. She looked at me expectantly. âIâm sorry Iâve been so difficult about the whole thing⊠but it turns out, we donât need to hide anymore. I mean, we should still keep things professional in the lab and all, but⊠Jin sort of knows.â
âWHAT?â She pushed me back with a hand on my chest, her eyes wide.
âI think it was becoming obvious, Y/N. He didnât ask me directly, but he said our personal life had nothing to do with our work. As long as it didnât affect our performance, he didnât care.â
âHe doesnât care?â Her voice was still high-pitched with surprise.
âApparently, his wife worked for him once tooâŠâ I shrugged, returning my attention to dinner. I stirred the sauce and tossed a pinch of salt into the boiling water before adding the spaghetti.
âThat⊠that changes things,â she said slowly, her brow furrowed.
I stepped back between her legs, looking into her eyes. âWhat is it?â
âSo, um⊠do you want me to take the internship? You wonât get tired of me?â
âWhat kind of question is that, Y/N?â I shook my head, feeling a pang in my chest. âIâve been aching, physically hurting, thinking about you taking an internship somewhere else and leaving me for the whole summer.â
Her smile was radiant, brightening the dim kitchen. âYou have?â
âYesâŠâ
âWell, it looks like I wonât be going anywhere,â she declared.
âGood. Because I have a lot of work to do, and I could really use an overachieving undergrad with some pretty amazing skills at the bench.â
âIâd say my skills go beyond the bench. Wouldnât you agree?â she asked, a teasing smirk playing on her lips.
âI wouldâŠâ I pointed the wooden spoon at her playfully. âBut donât distract me now, or Iâll burn your dinner.â
Dinner turned out surprisingly well. We ate as she excitedly recounted her classes, finals, classmates, and professors. I sat back, just soaking in the sight of herâhow her eyes lit up when she spoke, how her mouth curved into a smile, the way her eyebrows danced with every emotion. Watching her enjoy life, so passionate and full of energy, felt like a precious gift I never wanted to take for granted.
Y/N was drying the last few dishes, the rhythmic swish of the towel against porcelain filling the quiet kitchen with a comforting cadence. I approached her from behind, the warmth of her body radiating toward me as I leaned in to kiss her neck. The familiar flutter of anticipation twisted in my stomach. âYou want to show off some of those non-bench skills of yours?â
She turned to me, a playful smile on her lips. As I leaned on the counter, I caught a whiff of my own odor wafting up. âGod, I stinkâŠâ
Her laughter bubbled up, light and teasing. âItâs fine.â
âDo you mind if I take a quick shower?â I asked, a hopeful lilt creeping into my voice.
âCan I join you?âÂ
A grin broke across my face, and I took her hand, leading us toward the bathroom. The air between us crackled with a tension that felt electric, urging me to shed my shirt and pants before we even reached the shower.
She kicked off her shoes, her fingers deftly unbuttoning her jeans while I turned the water on, steam swirling like ethereal ghosts in the dim light. âMay I?â I asked, wrapping my fingers around her wrist. She nodded, her eyes shimmering with mischief.
With practiced ease, I unbuttoned her jeans, sliding them down to her ankles. As I knelt to kiss her calves, then her knees, and finally her thighs, her giggles rang out like music, lifting the weight of the world off my shoulders. âYour scruff tickles,â she said, her voice bright and breathy.
I lifted her shirt over her head, tracing my fingers along the delicate straps of her bra. Once our underwear was discarded like forgotten memories, I pulled her close, feeling her warmth envelop me as her legs wrapped around my waist. Our differing heights made this an all-too-familiar arrangement, a perfect fit for everything we were about to share.
She squealed as I jumped into the shower, icy water hitting us both and sending shockwaves of heat through my body. Her lips found mine, soft and insistent, and I pressed her back against the cool tiles, the world outside fading away.
âPut me down,â she murmured hoarsely into my ear.
I obliged, feeling the rush of her kisses trailing down my chest as she sank to her knees, a wicked smile playing on her lips.Â
âY/NâŠâ I breathed, leaning against the slick wall for support, knowing what was coming. This was one of her non-bench skillsâa skill Iâd come to appreciate in ways I couldnât quite articulate. The water cascaded over us, hot and cold, our bodies entwined in a dance as old as time.
She began slowly, teasing, her hands wrapping around me, her tongue swirling around my tip, and I groaned, the sound swallowed by the rushing water. My instincts told me to hold back, but the pleasure was too sweet, too intoxicating.Â
âY/NâŠâ I rasped, the words spilling out like a confession, âIâm⊠shitâŠâ
But she didnât relent. No, she tightened her grip and quickened her pace, and as my knees weakened beneath me, I surrendered to the waves of ecstasy crashing over me. I grabbed at the shower curtain rod, but it shook under my weight. I couldnât hold on anymore.
With a final, desperate groan, I let go, surrendering to the moment, the pleasure consuming me entirely. She rose from her knees, licking her lips, that look in her eyes making my heart race. âYou are one talented woman,â I murmured against her neck, panting.
Still wrapped around me, I stumbled into the bedroom, a tangle of limbs and laughter. I collapsed onto the bed, her body beneath me, and kissed her everywhere, exploring the soft curves that felt like home.
I knelt beside the bed, pulling her legs over my shoulders, my hands wandering over her hips as I feasted on the sweetness before me. The taste of her was electric, sending jolts of desire straight to my core.Â
âGod, Y/N, you taste even better than you smell,â I groaned, losing myself in her as she writhed beneath my touch, her moans filling the air like a sirenâs song.Â
It was then that I realized bringing her pleasure was no longer just a thrill; it was my favorite pastime, a dance of intimacy that bound us closer than any words could express. I placed soft kisses along her body, the world outside fading into obscurity, leaving only usâlost in our own private paradise.Â
âMmmmmm⊠YoongiâŠâ she sighed, fingers tangling in my hair. âVery⊠talented⊠yourself.â
I chuckled, planting another kiss on her lips, affection bubbling up like a tide. I love you, I love you, I love youâŠ
âInside⊠now,â she commanded, breathless and eager.
âYes, maâam,â I grinned, knowing this night would linger in our memories long after the water had dried.
âY/N?â I gently comb my fingers through her damp hair, the strands clinging to my chest like the remnants of a storm.
âHmm?â Her voice is soft, almost dreamy, as if sheâs still wrapped up in the warmth of the moment.
âI⊠I want to tell you about my parents.â As I speak, she lifts her head, folding her arms over my chest, resting her chin there like itâs a pillowâa sanctuary amid the chaos of my memories.
A tiny grin dances on her lips, and she nods, encouraging me to continue.
âYou probably guessed that theyâre dead, right?â
She nods again, her gaze steady. âI know theyâre not part of your life now⊠I figured something must have happened.â
âMy dad died when I was four,â I say, the words tumbling out bluntly, like the beginning of a ghost story.Â
âIâm sorryâŠâ Her voice is small, fragile.
âI donât remember him, except for pictures.â I shrug, trying to shake off the weight of the past. âHe had pretty aggressive colon cancerâkilled him in two months.â
âOh my God, Yoongi⊠Iâm so sorry.â
âItâs fine.â I attempt a smile, but it probably comes out crooked and imperfect, like an old photograph faded by time. âSo it was just my mom and me for a while⊠but when I was eleven, she was diagnosed with breast cancer.â
Her eyes widen, a shadow of understanding crossing her face as she starts rubbing gentle circles on my chest with her fingers, an attempt to soothe the pain Iâm dredging up.
âShe was so strong, though. She fought it for almost two years, with the most eager and positive attitude you can imagine. Kind of like you, in a way.â I flash her another smile, hoping to lighten the moment, but Y/Nâs eyes glisten with unshed tears, and she remains silent, letting me spill my heart.
âWhen she started getting worse, we moved in with my aunt, uncle, and Yoonji. My dadâs brother, Namjoon, is one of the best oncologists on the West Coast. But after metastasis, there was pretty much nothing else he could do.âÂ
âAnd thatâs why you do cancer research,â she says, piecing it all together.
âIt was Namjoonâs idea, really. He talked about how frustrating it was, being an oncologist, waiting for new therapies, new drugs, and discoveries. I figured it made sense to devote my life to that.â
âIt doesâŠâ she replies, her tone soft but firm, a steady anchor in my turbulent sea of memories.
âI know itâs not a very profitable careerâŠâ I pause, the weight of Estelleâs words echoing in my mind, the sting of her judgment lingering like a bad dreamâwasting my time.
âProfitable?â Her disbelief catches me off guard, pulling me from my thoughts. âWhat do you need so much money for anyway? Youâre doing something you love. Something meaningful. Thatâs so much more important.â
Y/N renders me speechless with her insight, her understanding washing over me like a wave, leaving me breathless. I kiss the top of her head, the moment stretching between us until I decide to share the last piece of my story, the promise I made her before.
âMy mom⊠um⊠she loved The Carpenters. She would make me sing their songs to her all the time. At the endâwhen she was breathing through a tube and couldnât speak anymoreâshe wrote that note you saw on the CD.â
ââIâll be with Daddy soonâ?â Y/N remembers, her voice barely a whisper, the words hanging heavy in the air.
âYesâŠâ I run a hand through my hair, staring at the ceiling as if the white paint might offer me some solace. I try to breathe through the lump in my throat. âI still miss her⊠so much.â I keep my eyes fixed on the ceiling, willing them not to fill with tears, blaming the onions and their cruel sulfenic acids when they finally betray me.
After a few deep breaths, I turn to face Y/N, who is sniffling, her hands trembling slightly.
âY/N, donât cry. Please.â
âIâm sorry. Itâs just so sad. Iâm so sorry.â She cries over my chest, and I run my hand over her hair, creating a soothing rhythm in the storm of emotions.
âI know. But Iâm okay. Iâm happy now.â
âYou are?â
âYes, because of you.â
Her sniffles dissolve into giggles, a beautiful mix of laughter and tears, and she never ceases to amaze me with her resilience.
âI love you, Y/N.â The words burn in my throat, raw and true, echoing in the empty spaces of my heart.
She lifts her head, staring at me through her wet eyelashes, and I know she can feel how my heart pounds beneath her. Iâm overwhelmed by emotions, but Iâve never spoken truer words. After a moment, Y/Nâs hand reaches behind my neck, and her lips collide with mine in a passionate kiss, her tears mingling with mine.
âAnd I love youâŠâ she breathes in between kisses, her voice trembling with sincerity. âSo⊠so⊠so much.â
We fall asleep like that, her warm body over my chest, the world fading away. I feel a profound relief, a weight lifting as she gets to know me in ways no one ever has. And even though shadows of uncertainty linger about our future, I realize I donât have to solve everything right now. Like Y/N said, I would savor my timeâmy time with her, my time in school. As long as she was by my side, nothing else mattered. I was doing what I loved, and the person I loved was right there with me. It couldnât possibly get any better than this.
© chimcess, 2024. Do not copy or repost without permission.
#bts#bts fanfic#bts fanfiction#bts fic#bts x reader#bts ff#min yoongi#min suga#bts yoongi#yoongi smut#yoongi fic#yoongi#bts x y/n#bts x you#bts x fem!reader#yoongi fanfic#yoongi x y/n#yoongi x reader#yoongi x you#bts smut#bts angst#bts fluff#bts fics#bts scenarios#bts college au#enemies to lovers#jung hoseok#park jimin#jeon jungkook#kim namjoon
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So What if We - Kim Namjoon / RM
Prompt: âThis wouldnât change our friendship, right?â
Prompt request: HERE
Genre/tags: Slight angst, friends to lovers, minor mentions of smut
Pairing: Namjoon x she/her reader
a/n: I've been into friends to lovers trope lately and keep prioritizing the stories w/ this theme. I'm not neglecting the other requests I swear! haha this also turns out more sweet rather than angsty, it seems like I'm quite a bad angst writer T_T
âThis wouldnât change our friendship, right?â
That was what the guy said to you, the morning after waking up next to you in your very own bed. His eyes were a bit droopy but he had a smile smeared on his lips. His two layers of top were tossed somewhere on the bedroom floor, messily, and his jeans were hanging loosely on the edge of the bed. You thanked the heavens that he somehow had his boxers on with him.
Both of you were drunk the night before. You knew it was a bad idea to bring alcohol to the mix when you vent to your best friend. Nevertheless, you did it anyway and the damage had been done.
Being friends with Namjoon came because of the convenient at first. While it was true that both of you came from the same circle of friends, you were never that close at the beginning. After switching job and finding out his apartment was actually near your new workplace, he would often ask you to eat dinner together after work, knowing your tendencies to forget and skip meals after work.
And that was how you grew closer. Noticing how cute his dimples were and how caring he was towards you came naturally after that. He was a gentleman. The small things he did when you were with your friends suddenly felt a little more special. Before, you would never bat an eye when he helped you on the most basic things, like pulling Taehyungâs dinner chair, just because of how heavy they were. He would always do that before, but lately, your heart did a little flip when he did the gesture.Â
It started to worry you as day by day you began to see him romantically rather than how youâd view the rest of your friends. Safe to say getting pissed drunk with just the two of you comprehensibly was a bad idea.Â
It started when both of you were on your fifth can of sparkling rum, the tv was playing baby shark, you could not care less of what was playing at that point, alongside the scattered conversation cards on the floor.Â
You could barely read the question card in your hand, but Namjoon was quick to read his.Â
âWhy did you break up with your most recent ex?â
You frowned. âThatâs not fair, how come your last question was about what do you miss in your childhood but I got this?!â
âJust answer it!â He laughed.Â
âI donât know. Itâs been a year I donât even wanna remember.â You shrugged.
âItâs been that long?âÂ
âYeah.â You chuckled. âCanât believe itâs been a year since last time I got laid.âÂ
He looked at you with widened eyes due to the unbelievable sentence that just came out from your mouth. The alcohol truly was making you lose your filter.Â
âYou havenât got laid in a year???âÂ
âStop, donât say it like that!â You whined. âSo what if I donât do casual hookups?â
âTrue butâŠâ He squinted his eyes, trying to get a better look at you. âI just canât believe it cause youâre hot.â
You eyed him questioningly, squinting in a cartoonish behavior.Â
âI have eyes.â
âSo do I, duh.âÂ
âJust take a compliment, please.â He rolled his eyes.
Both of you were sitting on the sofa with shoulders touching each other. Your head was getting heavy and his voice started to sound like honey, buttering your ears, making your mind dizzy. Furthermore, you did not know since when did he has his hand over your left thigh, just sitting there doing nothing.Â
âDonât you get horny sometimes?â He asked again, followed by a light grin.Â
âObviously.â You laughed bitterly. âWhy? Youâre offering help or something?âÂ
It was a bold thing to say, but before you knew it, somehow you were manhandled into his lap and your lips met in a rough and hungry kiss. Honestly you did not know how many minutes passed of both you just tongue dancing with each other. He broke the kiss only to ask you a question.Â
âDo you mind if I touch your boobs?â
You almost laughed, but quickly nodded anyway. The rest was history, which brought you to the first problem. Your best friend waking up almost fully naked next to you, asking you a question that sounded so vile in your ears.Â
âThis wouldnât change our friendship, right?â
âYeah⊠I guess so.âÂ
âI donât wanna make you feel uncomfortable or anythingââ
âNo! I swear Iâm notâŠâ You quickly interrupted.Â
âI did wearâŠâ
âYou did.â You chuckled. âIt was a good thing I had some in my bedside.âÂ
âOkay.â He laughed nervously. âYou sure youâre alright, though?â
âI mean⊠shit happens, I guess?âÂ
âI guess youâre right.âÂ
You were in fact a big fat liar. Things quickly went downhill right after. If it wasnât that obvious to you then, it was now. You had feelings for Namjoon and it was even harder when he would still ask you to eat dinner with him after work. He acted like nothing had ever happened between you, and so did you. You endured and buried whatever feelings you had, for the sake of not wanting to lose him.Â
Watching him acting normally when your friends were around while here you were, trying your best not to break your character.Â
**
âJin!â You exclaimed, hugging the guy.Â
âCome on, everyoneâs drinking already!â
Of course you were late, you were considering the option of not even showing up at all. It was getting harder trying to compose yourself while Namjoon was right there with all of your friends.Â
âWhy is Yoongi dancing?â You looked at the chaos in front of you.Â
âI told you, theyâre already drinking.â Jin laughed. âHere, take this.â The guy handed you a cup.Â
You cringed upon bringing the cup closer to your nose. âIs this Jungkookâs whiskey cola?! That guy mixes like one percent of cola to his whiskey. Iâm not drinking this.â
âYou could always spend the night.â The older guy replied as he shrugged at you with a grin on his handsome face.Â
âIâm not sleeping on your couch.â You laughed, bringing the untouched cup with you anyway.Â
âYouâre here!â
You gulped. Of course he had to greet you all excited. You wanted so badly to wipe that stupid smile off his face, but you couldnât. You had to put on this whole best friend act. Just a little longer.
He looked casual and boyish. The plain army green oversized tee matched with his cream colored bermuda shorts. Ever since he decided to bleach his hair you couldnât manage more than three seconds looking at his face. It was just a silly thing he did when he was bored, but boy oh boy did he look hot.
Managing a smile, you hoped he didnât notice the few seconds of silence you took.Â
âCome here!!!â Yoongi shouted at you with a silly smile on his face. Man was clearly drunk out of his mind.Â
âWhoâs responsible for this?â You felt bad but couldnât help but to laugh slightly at the sight.Â
âLet him be, dudeâs heartbroken.â Taehyung bit his inner cheek as he told you.Â
âPoor Yoongi.â You cooed.Â
âJoon though, on the other handâŠâ Taehyung continued, whispering to your side. âMy guy looks like heâs in love.â
Your body jumped internally. âHe is?â
âYou donât know? I thought you guys hangout together a lot lately.â
âWell, yeah but⊠heâs never really mentioned anything in that topic actually.âÂ
âWeird.â Taehyung hummed. âCause heâs totally acting like heâs in love with someone right now.âÂ
âHe acts the same.â You replied. Secretly you prayed that your friend would not notice the annoyed tone in your voice.Â
âHeâs been writing love songs, are you kidding me?!â The guy next to you laughed.Â
âSo? Love songs sell.â You rolled your eyes.Â
âBro, I saw this part of the lyrics where he talk about a girl riding him! Itâs insane!â Taehyung beamed.Â
A flush of heat came through you and you cleared your throat, regaining your composure. âThatâs none of my business.âÂ
âAh, I get it now. Youâre jealous.â The lad smirked and nodded his head at you.Â
âNow what kind of conspiracy theory is this?!â You tried to laugh it off.Â
âI mean, yeah he doesnât normally go for girls that look like you.â
âThatâs offensive.âÂ
âNo, I mean in a good way. He dates the most boring and basic looking pretty girls.â
âI was feeling great until you drop the word âprettyâ at the end.â You eyed the guy.Â
âHe doesnât join our online gaming nights anymore.âÂ
âAnd?âÂ
âSince he started hanging out with you.â
The statement made you stop. Taehyungâs words had you contemplating. Some nights you would give Namjoon a call when you were just simply tired, wanting to hear the comfort of his voice. Listening to his random rambles and yaps were enough to ease the burnt out from work. Could it be? Was talking to you important enough to make him skip gaming with his friends? You hoped it wasnât just a silly thought.Â
âHello?â Taehyung waved at you. âBack from delulu world, yet?â
âShut up.â
âSuit yourself.â Taehyung snickered before leaving you to join the others doing karaoke session.Â
You could only shook your head in amusement. After being friends with them for years, the sight of the guys being goofy was definitely not something new to you. Spotting the empty dining table, you chose to sit on the chair, watching them from afar.Â
That was until a certain someone approached you.Â
âWhat are you guys talking about?â Speak of the devil.Â
You forced a grin. âYou know Taehyung and his silly rambles.âÂ
âYouâre not gonna join us?âÂ
âNah, I donât feel like drinking today.â Funnily, the cup of drink was still in your hand. You swirled the liquid and stared at it.Â
âWhatâs bothering you?â He asked while taking the empty chair next to you.Â
âJust donât wanna drink today, thatâs all?âÂ
âWanna go get some fresh air?â He looked at you with a sly smile.Â
âWe can???â You looked at him with wide eyes. âWhere?â
âJinâs bedroom balcony. We just have to be very quiet though so they donât notice us going upstairs.â He chuckled.Â
âYouâre crazy. This is some type of shit that will get slippers thrown at us!âÂ
âHeâs already on his new cup.â Namjoon said, bringing your attention to the older guy taking a fill of his drink. âHe wonât notice.â
The smile on his face was making it hard for you to refuse the offer. Sighing, you put the plastic cup down on the table and stood up.Â
âFine, but if anything happens, Iâm blaming it fully on you.â
âWhatever you say, princess.â He laughed and stood up as well.Â
Oh if only he knew the effect he had on you, just casually calling you with that nickname.Â
Both of you tiptoed upstairs, giggling like a couple of high schoolers sneaking out. You let him open Jinâs room and closed the door behind. As soon as you both make it to the balcony, you saw him shuffling his hand through his back pocket.Â
âDo you mind if I smoke?â
âUh, no. Go ahead.âÂ
âThanks.â He said before lighting one on his lips.Â
You just stood there, unknowingly admiring him huffing and puffing smoke to the opposite direction from you.Â
âStill donât wanna tell me whatâs inside your pretty little head?â He looked at you with a grin.Â
âWhatâs with the compliments today?â You raised one of your eyebrows at him.Â
âItâs probably the alcohol.â He chuckled.Â
âWow, so you need to be drunk to say that I look good?!â You folded your arms.
âIâd say it made me more honest⊠but believe what you wanna believe.â He looked to your direction, making your heart jumped.Â
You cleared your throat. âJoon, I uh⊠I kinda need to tell you something.âÂ
âWhat is it?âÂ
Whatever the hell that happened between us, changed me. I wasnât okay with just being friends. I have feelings for you.Â
âYou look like the baby from Ice Age movie.â
âFucking hell.â He groaned as you bursted out laughing.Â
It was for the best. He did not need to know. You would outgrow this abnormal phase.
The whole world stopped when he suddenly tucked your hair behind your ears. You froze, looking at him, searching for his eyes. There was that smile again.Â
âItâs windy.âÂ
âY-Yeah.â You stuttered.Â
âThis might sound crazy but can I kiss you?â
You widened your eyes and stepped back a bit. âYouâre drunk.â
âMaybe if youâŠâ He groaned, squeezing his cigarette bud and tossing it. âFuck it.â
âHuhââ
Your words were quickly cut by his lips on yours. Your mind went blank in an instant. What? Why? Whom? What was even happening you did not know anymore. All you knew was his lips moving softly against yours and the only thing that was filling up your brain was to do the same thing to him. You could taste the slight bitter taste of his cigarette, mixed with whatever fruity drink he had before, the one the boys clearly had drank all before you came since you were left with Jungkookâs abomination whiskey.Â
You didnât know how long were both of you lip locking with each other before you felt his hands started to travel, feeling up your body. You hummed on his lips and felt his breath hitched. Things seemed wrong but you couldnât bring yourself to stop it. How could you? When this was all you wanted all along?
âJoon⊠IâŠâÂ
You tried to protest, but he quickly captured your lips again. This time more hungrily, almost feral. You swore you felt his hands grab your butt, massaging them softly. You flinched, a low yelp escaped your lips.Â
Then he suddenly stopped.Â
âJesus, Iâm so sorry.â He palmed his face. âI didnât meanâ Shit, youâre gonna hate meâŠâ
âItâs okay, youâre just drunkâŠâÂ
âIâm not drunk.â He stopped you. âI have feelings for you.â
Now thatâs a surprise.Â
âYou have feelings⊠for me?â
âShouldâve told you sooner, but I chickened out.â He smiled to himself.Â
âYou asked me if things wouldnât change after that nightâŠâ You looked away, biting your lips.Â
âI was panicking. I thought youâd hate me.â
âWell I donât.â You huffed. âClearly, Iâm still here. I somehow managed to maintain my sanity while trying my best not to let things change between us. Just like how you wantedâŠâ You didnât realize some tears were already escaping your eyes.Â
âHey, donât cry.â He grabbed your wrist and pulled you into a hug, which frankly, only made the crying worse.Â
âYouâre dumb.â You pulled away slightly, just to see his face. âBut I have feelings for you too.â
You both laughed in unison and he pulled you back in his embrace, hugging you tighter. âIâm sorry.â
âYou better be.â
âOH MY GOD!!!âÂ
You both turned your heads to Jinâs voice yelling from a near distance. In a flash you let go of each other. You looked at Namjoon and he only shrugged with a disappointed smile.Â
âWho told you fuckers can enter my room so freely, huh?!â Jin yelled.Â
âWe thought you were drunk enough to not care.â You replied.Â
âWell thanks to Yoongi turning our karaoke session into a crying fest, I had to wrap things up. Then I realize the two of you are missing.â He rolled his eyes.Â
âIâm sorry, it was all me. I needed a quick smoke and I dragged her along.â Namjoon laughed, clearly not taking the older guy seriously.Â
âWhatever.â Jin turned his back. âJust fuck off for now, my head hurts and I need to sleep.â
âYes, sir.â Joon replied.Â
âGo sleep somewhere.â The lean guy shooed. âAnd donât you dare have sex in my house.â
âWe didnâtââÂ
âZip it.â Jin pointed at you. âGo before I throw my expensive Louis Vuitton slides at both of you.â
The two of you quickly made an exit. As soon as the door closed, the thick awkward atmosphere surrounded you.Â
âYouâre staying here for the night?â He asked.Â
âDonât know.â You looked around. âAre you?â
âWanna⊠go back to my place? Itâs just a ten minute walk.â He said sheepishly. âAnd uh, do things correctly this time?â
A giddy smile formed on your lips as you let him take your hands in his.
Thank you for reading! â
ïž
#bts fanfic#bts fic#bts scenarios#namjoon fanfic#namjoon imagine#bts namjoon#namjoon scenarios#kim namjoon#bts rm#rm fanfic#namjoon angst#namjoon x y/n#namjoon x you#namjoon x reader
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bts fanfics i personally think shakespeare would lose his job over in the 1500âs.
chapter i. â· chapter ii.
KEYS ON SEVERITY OF SHAKESPEAREâS STATE:
( âź ) â poor sod is on the floor. perhaps itâs shock?
( ⏠) â heâs jealous he didnât write this himself. well, it sucks to suck, mate.
( â ) â currently handing him a tissue. give him a second.
( â ) â both him and i lost our jobs. her majesty is ruthless.
THE SHAKESPEARE SERIES.
WARNING: keep in mind, some of these authors are very strict on the rule that no minors should read their work if theyâre underage, and i will honour that. but, at the end of the day, i am not your parent. so, thereâs that. but heed my warning wisely. any smut or 18+ content is highlighted in bold.
NOTE: without further ado, this are the fanfics that i think would cause shakespeare to lose his job: the first of many essays. letâs bring the guy to his knees. metaphorically.
â
â
( â ) THE BODYGUARD â by @rmnamjoons
!! bodyguard!namjoon x reader | 62.9k !!
bodyguard au, romance, smut, fake dating, slight angst if you squint, lil bit of violence.
firstly, weâre starting off strong. i present to you, the mother of all namjoon fanfics. and sheâs a bad bitch. tbh, i feel like this fic needs a moment of silence just to relish in her glory. soak it all up. itâs essential.
this fic genuinely had me gobsmacked at how incredibly written it is. it delves into every detail and no aspect of the story is left dry. you can tell the author put their everything into creating this world you just submerge into. and it shows.
the world building is amazing, the characters are so thought out, and it feels like youâre just on this adventure with them and discovering their story as it plots out.
also, the build up to the smut? out of this world. thatâs one thing i love about this fic: it doesnât feel rushed. everything is very spaced out and takes itâs sweet time, so when you get to the chocolately nut of the ferrero rocher, itâs like gold and well earned. and you can enjoy it.
honestly, itâs been months since i read this and i think about it every day. i did do some research (for my own peace of mind) and this fic is longer than the perks of being a wallflower. and is it better? yes. sorry not sorry.
this work of art deserves to be read and loved. and i rest my case, your honour.
â
( â ) UNTIL THE LAST STAR FALLS â by @minniepetals
!! underworld lords!bts x shield!reader | 44.4k !!
reincarnation!au, poly!au, gods!au, unrequited love, minor character death, car accidents.
quick question â for science â how does one happen to lose all their memories without any sustaining any internal or external injuries? because the things i would do to read this again for the first time. and i do not use those words lightly.
this was my first ever âlongerâ written fic. and if iâm being honest, i never really liked to read them because i have the attention span of a goat. but this fic lures you in from the very start and time slips away like smoke. to say, it definitely left its mark on me.
itâs so brilliantly written and you feel connected to the characters both mind and soul. you want the best for them, you want to save them, you actually want to crawl into the pages (or screen) and fucking help them out. and that sold it to me, i think. just the sheer love for these characters.
i balled when i read the last few sentences. i didnât want it to end. i think i finished it at three in the morning and sent a voice note of me crying to my friend. tmi? well, now on my christmas list is 7 hot boys in the underworld who would risk their everything for me. and i, them.
worth every single second. trust.
â
( ⏠) WARM THIS WINTER â by @jamaisjoons
!! seokjin x reader ft. ex-boyfriend jungkook | 51.6k !!
christmas!au, vacation!au, angst, fluff, smut (18+).
one thing about solaris, is she never misses. if i could, i think iâd recommend every fanfic she ever put out, but thatâs too much effort for me when you could simply click her masterlist. so, iâll wait here for you to do that. make sure you come back though.
love. sure, there are hundreds- perhaps, thousands of fics on this app about it. so what makes this one different? well, thatâs just it. the sorrowful honesty of love. knowing when itâs over, and when itâs blooming in the midst.
iâve never been in love, but frankly, this fic really spelt it out for me. the pain, the joy, the lingering memories after everything is said and done. itâs all there. and it really settles in your heart as you near the end.
this work pulled on every single heartstring of mine, stamped on them, and then proceeded to sew anew for the future to bring its own miseries. and i enjoyed it more than i can say (or type).
give this a read if you need just that bit of spark in your life. and that bit of sadness, too.
â
( âź ) STRIKE A CHORD â by @snackhobi
!! yoongi x reader | 15.8k !!
smut (18+), pianist!yoongi.
i donât know what it is about this fic, but i come back to it whenever it pops up in my mind during my day. iâll immediately unlock my phone and open this app, knowing iâll feel better when the last word is read. and i feel content.
the atmosphere in this fic, if i may, feels as though youâre trapped in a warm, safe bubble with hazed music in the distance and soft light spilling through the thin layer of the bubbleâ not too dark, but enough to make you feel drowsy and peaceful. perhaps thatâs why i return to it so often. i like how it makes me feel.
yoongi as an artist is already enough to make a person swoon, but as a pianist? i need a lie down. a cold towel to the head. just the whole characterisation of him in this fic needs a whole separate essay in itself, but youâll understand my point when you read it.
forever a comfort fic, i think. and forever a comfort person. double whammy. case closed.
â
( â ) THE END â by @jimlingss
!! seokjin x reader | 31k !!
fifty percent fluff, fifty percent angst, loosely inspired by to all the boys iâve loved before.
i say this with my whole chest: i have never underestimated the amount of emotions you can experience during a fanfic, until i read the endâ both literally and metaphorically. shock horror.
this fanfic takes you through the adventure of the reader learning of what her future would commence if she were to marry either one of the six members. best part? sheâs led through this rollercoaster journey by the ghost of kim seokjin.
first impression to such an offer? sign me the fuck up. i mean, what more could you ask for? however my final impression went a bit more on the lines of what the fuck just happened. very different ends of the spectrum, if you ask me.
i decided to hand both shakespeare and i a tissue after this great piece of art was finished because not only was i sobbing, he was on the floor knowing his romance play of pericles could never live up to such an incredible story.
this fic was a rollercoaster i would be delighted to get onto for another ride.
â
( â ) A UNIVERSE TO YOU â by @readyplayerhobi
!! soulmate!hoseok x reader | 41k !!
fluff, angst, smut (18+), soulmates!au.
shakespeare once said (according to google), âit is not in the stars to hold our destiny, but in ourselves,â and if this fic wasnât a soulmate!au, i think i wouldâve agreed in some sorts. but as it is, in fact, a soulmate!au, iâm obliged to disagree. it was destiny i read this fic, hand on heart.
i was not expecting this fic to hit me in the feels as hard as it did. as you can tell by the other works listed in this essay of recommendations, soulmate!auâs come up a lot. and with a lot of the same plots flying around on this app, itâs hard to make one stand out. but this author definitely has a gift.
everything was so richly created it made you feel full. of wonder, of love, and of want. it made you crave it for yourself. and thatâs what i love about this fic. it just makes you feel⊠good. and with the unfortunates of life currently, itâs one to get your head stuck in for some temporary relief.
dream soulmate? heâs right here, people. just enjoy the story and all the feels that float around your body. go on.
â
( âź ) BUNNY â by @btssmutgalore
!! jungkook x fem!reader | 46.5k !!
non-idol!au, camboy!jk, friends to lovers, smut, angst.
letâs start here: never judge a book by its cover. a quote by george eliot going all the way back to the 19th century, and one i would use to describe this series as a whole, and my first impressions towards it.
this series, although unfinished (i think), has exceeded my expectations of a good smut outlined by a good plot. the best of both worlds, if you might. i came out of this series deeply in awe of the writing and the clear imagery the author manages to create within your own mind.
additionally, bunny was the beginning for me in learning about the world of camboys and camgirls(?), but i was greatly surprised. often, people are unkind to the new and stick to what theyâre accustomed to, afraid of what the unknown might bring â me, included.
but, iâm glad i took the risk because i received three great things in return: a beautiful fanfic, knowledge of something that was foreign to me, and an author whose work i admire and shall be returning to in the future.
perhaps what iâm getting at is this could be a lesson to all. take a risk of something unknown because who knows? maybe something great will come out of it, and youâll learn something. i did.
â
( ⏠) SEOUL UNDERGROUND â by @hunniejimins (ao3)
!! namjoon x jungkook x f!reader | 300k !!
mafia!au, enemies to lovers, violence, slow burn, love triangles, mob boss!namjoon, smut, heavy angst.
itâs ironic really. i found this work by someone elseâs recommendation, and now iâm passing on the favour and recommending it to you, dear reader. itâs funny how the world works.
this work is the perfect balance of fantasy and reality and i love it. youâre hit with the beauty and clouded haze of love before being smacked back into the world at the realisation the very person youâre in love with, is a mafia mob boss and his killer mate. a real fun-sponge, i tell âya.
nevertheless, this book kept me up early morning and late evening reading. it keeps you hooked, wanting, and hungry for more.
itâs nothing less of a masterpiece.
â
( â ) CREAM AND SUGA â by @snackhobi
!! yoongi x barista f!reader | 14.8k !!
coffee shop!au, barista!au, fluff, nfsw (18+).
@snackhobi is mentioned twice on this list. though, can you blame me? itâs just a good thing shakespeare and this author donât exist in the same century. it would be absolute carnage but nobody is ready for that conversation.
this author has a talent of portraying yoongi in the most irresistible way possible. i swear, i fall in love with him all over again reading. i wish you understood.
the whole misunderstanding section made me laugh because havenât we all been there? the crushing pain and overwhelming guilt of having a crush on someone you canât have. itâs all too real, seriously. been there, done that (unfortunately).
especially having the holidays just past, this is a perfect fic for a warm evening in, while the coldness of winter storms past outside. such a cute fic. love, love, love!
â
( â ) LOST AND FOUND â by @taleasnewastime
!! seokjin x reader | 21.2k !!
strangers to lovers, fluff, angst, sfw.
everyone says they have a fanfic that changed them, whether theyâre being hyperbolic or brutally honest. and in my case, itâs a matter of both latter and former.
a couple months ago, i reached what i thought was rock bottom regarding my mental state and i took to my imagination to save me from the daily hell of my own mind. and this book was one i never really forgot about.
everything this author wrote within this fic was honest, heartfelt and very, very real. from the way you donât just go up after going through something, but fall occasionally and sometimes feel as though youâre back at square one, to the way that there definitely is hope in the dark moments, and a light at the end of the tunnel. albeit a very faint one.
it comforted me in a way and reminded me of what i thought to be lost. fruitless, even. but sometimes, itâs books like these that open our eyes to things weâve forgotten during times of turmoil: the simple goodness of life. and of people.
âif youâre going through hell, keep going.â winston churchill.
â
( âź ) CANDYLAND â by @honeymoonjin
!! seokjin x reader ft. elf!jk | 13k !!
thriller, angst, fantasy, husband!jin, some cursing.
my mother is the biggest thriller fan. not that you needed to know that, but she is. and sheâs not ashamed of it either. sheâll let you know if sheâs reading a really good thriller in the moment. trust me, youâll know.
me? not so much. iâm more of a sappy, hopeless romance, happy ending kind-of-sod â if you havenât already guessed from this list. but thereâs a reason this fic is on the list, too.
this fic genuinely kept me on the edge of my seat- uh, bed. the secrets of what darkness lingered behind the happy exterior of this adventure trip gripped my eyes to the screen, and lord, was it worth it.
throw a bit of husband!seokjin in there too? what more could you want! and written by @honeymoonjin? what a win.
letâs just say after this fic i added a few other thrillers to my basket. and happily reported to my mum i was a changed woman. okay, iâm exaggerating, but you get my point. it was incredible.
â
( â ) LILY LUCK â by @gguksgalaxy
!! yoongi x reader | 10.7k !!
soulmates!au, angst, fluff if u squint, very slight implicit sexual content, anxiety.
although this fic may be the shortest on the list, do not underestimate its power. it is still as mighty as the othersâ perhaps, even more so.
i think the main emotion i want to hone into concerning this fanfic is compassion. it sinks into your bones and surrounds your entire being like a unwanted hug. and you canât even stop it.
the author does a good job of making you feel intense compassion for the reader â who so desperately wants to meet her soulmate. which makes the ending that much more satisfying.
this is for those whoâre lonely, need a pick up, or those whoâre hopeless romantics and believe in love belonging to fate, such as myself.
âexpectation is the root of all heartache.â william shakespeare. talking of the devil, he would definitely cry over this fic. either of bubbling emotions, or the fact he didnât write it himself. sucks really. for him, not for me.
© marknee, 2023. all rights reserved.
#shakespeare series#bts#bts series#bts x reader#bts fic recs#fic rec#kpop#bts smut#bts imagines#bts fanfic#bts angst#bts fic#bts scenarios#jungkook#namjoon au#taehyung#seokjin fic#hoseok#jiminbts#yoongi#namjoon x reader#seokjin x reader#yoongi x reader#hoseok x reader#jimin x reader#taehyung x reader#jungkook x reader
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You flinch during a fight
Ot7 x Reader
Summary: How they would react to you flinching during a fight/argument.
Warnings: angst obviously, slight implications of past trauma, not proofread
A/N:(damn, y'all really like angst, huh? Lol) Thanks to the lovely anon who sent this request, I hope you like them!
Masterlist
Requests are open
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Seokjin: Jin forgets just how big he is sometimes and how intimidating that can be. Which is why, when he swung around suddenly to say something and saw you take a small step back, he was confused for a moment before it hit him, and he froze. The room had fallen silent, both of you unsure of what to do or how to proceed. "I didn't mean to-" "I know." You stopped him before he could finish. "Cause you know I would never-" "I know, baby, it was just a reflex." You told him, knowing he would beat himself up over this if you didn't stop him. "Can we just say you won the fight and move on? He asked, making you grin as you wrapped your arms around his middle. "Sure."
Yoongi: It was a tiny movement, so small it would've easily been missed, had he not been looking at you when he slammed his hand down on the table in frustration, causing you to wince. Instantly, he felt every ounce of anger drain away, replaced with hollow shame. "Are you okay?" He asked quietly after a long pause, not meeting your eye. You nodded. "You just startled me." He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to calm his own nerves. "Can we not do this? I don't wanna fight, not like this." "Me neither." You agreed. You settled on just spending the evening together quietly, eventually talking through the original issue much more calmly.
Hobi: As loud as Hobi might be, he almost never raises his voice with you, which why it caught you so off guard and made you flinch. It was a purely instinctual response, but for Hobi, it made his heart absolutely shatter, eyes immediately glazing over with tears. He was supposed to be you safe place, your protector, how could he make you feel unsafe? As if you could read his mind, you were quick to try and reassure him. "Hobi, it's okay." "No, It's not, I shouldn't have spoken to you like that. I'm so sorry." You end up sitting together, comforting each other for a while.
Namjoon: He didn't even realize just how tightly wound you had both become during the argument until he slammed a cabinet door, making you jump. Glancing up to see you, clearly startled, his stubborn pride evaporated. "Lets not talk it about it anymore right now, we're not gonna solve anything while we're upset, okay?" He asked, keeping his tone soft in an attempt to soothe you. "Okay." You nodded. "Can I hug you?" He asked. Again, you nodded, letting him carefully tuck you into his chest. "I'm so sorry."
Jimin: He knows he can be intimidating when he's angry, but he never thought you would view him like that, until he saw you flinch back into the sofa cushions. His eyes got so big, before sinking down next to you on the couch. "Did... did I scare you?" He asked, barely able to speak above a whisper. "I don't know." You said, which he knew was your go-to response when you wanted to avoid the truth. Biting back a wave of emotion, he spoke, trying to keep his voice calm. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lost my temper." "It's okay." You said. It wasn't, not to him, but he didn't want to push you further right now. Right now, he just wanted to make you feel better.
Taehyung: When he whipped around to face you, only to see you instinctively shrink back, he froze, hands falling ground his sides. "Babe." He said, voice small, wobbly. "I wouldn't... you know I wouldn't, right?" "I know, it was just a reflex." You said even more quietly, fiddling with your fingers which he knew was a sign of how stressed you actually were. Not knowing what else to do, he pulled you into a tight hug. "Please know that you're always safe with me."
Jungkook: He knew you hated loud noises, but in the heat of the moment, he couldn't help the the raise in his voice. As soon as he saw the tears in your eyes though, he panicked. "I'm sorry!" He apologized profusely, rushing over to hold you, maybe a little faster than he should've, but he couldn't help it, he couldn't stand the thought that he'd made you so upset. "Please don't yell." You sniffled. "I won't, I swear, I won't. I'm so sorry baby." Clings to you for the rest of the evening.
#bts scenarios#bts reaction#bts reactions#bts angst#bts x y/n#bts x reader#seokjin x y/n#seokjin x reader#yoongi x y/n#yoongi x reader#hoseok x reader#hoseok x y/n#namjoon x reader#namjoon x y/n#jimin x y/n#jimin x reader#taehyung x y/n#taehyung x reader#jungkook x reader#jungkook x y/n#requests#bts requests#7ndipity
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Closure | One shot
Synopsis - You first crossed paths with him at a club, where he fucked you on the hood of a strangerâs car. The second time, Taehyung found you at the house of the girl he was seeing, and you let him take you in your shared bathroom, the lock barely holding. He became your anchor, and you became his sun and moon. Now, all you want is one more chanceâto tell each other âI love youâ.
Paring- Kim Taehyung Ă Reader
Genre - Well, I have no idea which genre this falls into.
Warnings - Public sex/ semi public sex/ grinding/ breast play/ nipple play/ unprotected sex(this is a fic)/penetrative sex/word 'slut' and 'whore'/ oral(male recieving)/ fingering/ handjob/ shower sex/ orgasm denials/edging/implied bondage/alcohol consumption/ smoking/ angst/ I don't know what else but huge SMUT warning and MDNI.
Word count - 11k
a/n - Well well, while I was peacefully raising my first born (In Another Universe), I got distracted by this song (Sweet music) and Kim Taehyung. So, I gave birth to this. Hope you'll enjoy!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Itâs really bad when the whole world revolves around one person. When that one person is gone. The whole world crumbles. Thatâs what happened to Taehyung. His whole world fell down. Crumbled. Crushed. And he became a shell. Empty.
A soulless creature who wanders the earth. Nothing made him happy. Nothing made him laugh. Nothing gave his vacant eyes life. There was a time he wanted nothing but to be gone. It was his friends who kept him alive. They hold on to him. With an invisible string tied onto their hands. A single tug on that string, they came crashing like a storm. Even though that tug was barely there. Never allowed those unshed tears to consume Taehyung up. Made sure he is breathing. Sleeping. And everything in between. Taehyung became nothing but a burden on his friendsâ shoulders.
He wanted to be something else, to be honest. Something else that wasnât a soul-withered husk. Wanted the hollow feeling inside him to vanish. Wanted to feel something. Something other than the pain. Wanted to laugh. At least smile. Manage his life like a normal person would. Do something other than emptying bottle after bottle of alcohol. Feel his heart beats. But everything seemed impossible in his eyes. He would never be happy again. Never laugh again. He would always be the hollow shadow. Hiding from the world. Hiding from that ray of sunshine.
Thatâs what he thought. At least until this moment. The moment when he is lying in a strangerâs bed. In the darkness. Listening to water running. Imagining her under the shower. In this moment, he can feel his heart beats. Madly. Violently. He can feel him breathing peacefully. Brain quiet. Blissful. Basking in the aftermath of a good orgasm. He feels alive. For the first time in a year and a half. He feels alive.
.....................................
Sometimes, just sometimes, despite everything, Taehyung hates his friends. Like he hated Jungkook when he asked him to go out earlier tonight. He hated him for making him do something he didnât want. For not letting him drown in his anguish. He simply wasnât feeling it. To be in a crowded club. To buy drinks for a nameless woman he would meet. Get drunk with them. Dance while groping their slender curves. Only to feel nothing. Get high. To a point he would not remember his own name and end up sleeping with that woman. Regret everything in the following morning. Drown in guilt. He wasnât feeling it. But Jungkook and Jimin always find their way.
âSheâs fucking gone, Taehyung. Fucking gone. You need to move the fuck on.â
Taehyung hated Jungkook for saying that. Because in his mind, that wasnât true.
âItâs been more than a year, Kim Taehyung. How are you still in denial. Youâre going out tonight. Itâs better to get wasted together than alone.â
Taehyung hated Jimin for saying that out loud. It canât be that long.
In the end, somehow, they won. Taehyung found himself on one of the bar stools. Lost in a fog. No jokes, no laughter, reached his ears. He intended to keep it that way. Just listen to his friends laugh. Ignore their desperate attempts to make him laugh. Until the barman will ask them to move away. Stop crowding the bar. He didnât intend to, however, turn around before barman asked them to do so. Didnât expect to bump into someone. On top of everything, he certainly didnât expect that someone on his way to change something in him. Change things for a third time. In a club. As before, in bygone echoes.
The moment her drink splashed on his shirt; Taehyung felt his heart beats. As if it was the first beat of a heart. The moment her panicked, doe eyes locked in his eyes, Taehyung felt his lung deflate. The pressure on them was gone. The moment she started apologising over and over again, Taehyung felt his entire body calm down. The pain subsided. The moment when she tried to wipe his wet shirt. The moment she touched him, Taehyung felt everything he had been wanting to feel. The electrifying, burning sensation. The sensation that made his head spin and breath hitch. But what sealed the deal was her words.
âIâm really sorry, sailor. Wasnât looking where I was going.â
Thatâs exactly how you said it.
âWhatever you wish to buy me, sailor.â
.....................................
You stood in a crowded club. In a dark secluded corner. Watching two people on the dance floor. Drunk. High. Dancing. Grinding. You knew how this one would end. Had seen how each and every club session ended. In a bed with different woman each time. You wanted to stop him all those times. You couldnât. No matter how hard you tried. So, you learned to move on with that. This day, however, when you watched Taehyungâs hand sneak under her crop top. Watched his lips pepper kisses on her neck, jaw and every inch of skin he could find. Watched his eyes getting darker and more hooded. You knew something was changed. Something was different.
You know it has changed.
.....................................
Now
All those time Taehyung ended up on some random womanâs bed, he regretted it immediately. In the very moment his high faded, he regretted everything. Made sure he disappear into his miserable life the as soon as he could. This day though, he isnât regretting anything. He didnât run away, and he doesnât plan to. He is waiting patiently for her to join him again. Maybe itâs bad. Maybe he is wrong. He is doing something wrong, isnât he?
He feels guilty to a certain extent. But this time itâs not entirely towards you. Itâs partially toward her. Because despite everything, itâs the memory of you that made him follow her. She is not like you. Not completely at least. But itâs the same kind of aura. The kind of aura that made him follow. You and she both are like magnets. Magnets that pulled him. Like he was spell bounded. Made his heart skip beats. She made him lose himself in a reverie. Made him travel through time. To a day he felt same kind of spell bound sensation.
To the day he met you on a crowded club.
.....................................
Six years ago
Taehyung had never felt such kind of feeling. A feeling of content simply by looking at someone. He felt satisfied. It was as though his heart found a place to rest. Every moment stretched. The world blurred around him. You hadnât even noticed him. Were just enjoying your company on a booth. You werenât drunk. Taehyung could tell that you werenât. Just tipsy. Tipsy enough to laugh loudly for whatever your friends said, which was probably not that funny.
Subjects involving women were never a problem for him. But that day, he almost didnât make his move. If it wasnât for Jimin and Jungkook, he would have never talked to you. It was a gentle push on his back that made him approach you. With clammy hands and a pounding heart. He was nervous. So nervous that his stomach hurt. Yet, the moment you caught him approaching. In the moment you smiled. A stellar collision occurred. Oh, how sweet your smile was. How he thought you were the type to be timid and innocent. He read you completely wrong. And he loved the surprise. Loved when you turned out be a vixen. His vixen.
Of course, he ended up buying you a âSex on the Beachâ, when you asked him to buy whatever he wanted. And you didnât like it.
âLet me guess, youâve never had to try now, have you?â
âOh, no. Iâve had to try pretty hard sometimes. Can I buy you something else?â
âNah, this is fine.â
When you said yes to dance. On the crowded dance floor, your body pressed against his, Taehyung was in a bliss. Every single movement of your body. Every time you brushed against him. He felt his blood boil. Rushing southward. Making his mouth dry. Heart hammering inside his ribcage. And you knew what you were doing. You knew you had him wrapped around your pinkie finger. You knew his brain is short-circuiting when you pressed your tits on to him. Hands curling around his neck. Mouth hovering over his. Breath mingling. He smelled the alcohol on you. It was intoxicating. The way your breasts peeked through your low neckline. The way they were pressing onto his chest was captivating. Made his dick twitch. Painful. And you allowed him to do whatever he wanted. Just stared into his eyes when he grabbed you by your hips. Pressed you onto his throbbing dick. You sighed blissfully. Almost like a moan. And Taehyung nearly came in his pants. You moved your body against him. Pressed your tummy onto his hardened member. Almost pressed your lips into his. And then pulled away. Smirked.
âLife isnât this easy. You should try harder sailor.â
.....................................
Six years ago
When that awfully good-looking man approached you, you never in a million years thought you would seal the your fate with him. He looked the type to be able to make you cum more than once for the night. And disappear right afterward. And you were fine with it. Just wanted to get laid, and he was the catch of the night.
You had your ways with men. Rules you made for yourself. To maintain a sense of power on your mind. To not let men have you used, and left unsatisfied, not being able to cum at least for once. Rules for one-night stands.
Rule one: you always made them desperate. Men are easy. You donât have to try hard. Just having pair of tits are enough. Taehyung seemed to be the same kind of man to go on his knees for a peek of your tits. Oh, how wrong you were. The moment you turned around, you expected him to follow you. Thatâs how the horny men you met in clubs acted. Desperate.
He didnât. Neither followed you nor approached you again. You regretted it. Regretted not going with the flow and let him have his way with you. Kept sneaking glances toward him. And he took his sweet time. Enough time for you to down three more drinks. Enough time for you to reluctantly agree to joined someone else on the dance floor.
Thatâs when he nearly made the chairs fly in the air. Stormed to you. Grabbed you by the wrist. Pressed his lips to yours. Nothing was said. No questions were asked. Just came and kissed you. Hard. Bit into your lower lip. Made you moan. Took his chance by sneaking his tongue into your mouth. And you moaned again. Your own rules started to crumble. You kissed him back. Lapped your tongue against his. Ignored your friendsâ incredulous looks. Ignored the betrayed look on your supposed one-night standâs. Just allowed Taehyung to guide you back to the dance floor while still kissing you. You decided you wonât pull away until he did. Not even if you fell dead without being able to breathe. Fortunately, he did pull away. You didnât die.
Pressed his forehead to yours. Breathing rapid. Snaked his hands around your waist. Pulled you onto him.
âDonât play.â
âI wasnât playing.â
âYou canât make me rock hard and walk away. And find another man.â
âI didnât do anything to make you hard, Taehyung.â
âYou exist.â
You lied. You did everything to make him hard. Played well to make him desperate. Even though it was subtle. Was so happy he came back. Your rules had been thrown out the window long ago. He made your heartbeat stop just with his words. Made your cunt drip by just kissing. But whereâs the fun when you just give in? Were just curious to know his limits. It was fun teasing.
âSorry I did that. Look like I must apologise.â
Pressed your palm onto his toned chest. Pushed him slightly away. Let your hand wander down. Through his toned chest and abs. Felt how he tightened his muscles under your touch. Stopped right at his belt. Watched his breath hitch. Anticipation firing in his eyes. You smiled wickedly at that. Let your hand go even further down, caressing -or rather grazing- his clothed cock with the back of your hand. Taehyung groaned. Grunted. Bucked his hips into your hand. Oh, he was desperate. Just had good restraint. You had good restraint too. You hoped to keep playing the game. Taehyung didnât. Maybe he didnât have good restraint. Before you knew it, he had turned you around. Your back against his chest. Groaned again. This time in your ear. And your walls crumbled, completely. You willingly handed the power over to him.
âDonât play. Iâm so fucking hard it hurts.â
âYeah? What should I do about it?.â
âYou little vixen. I asked you not to play.â
âI am most definitely not playing Kim Taehyung. What should I do about it?â
He never answered that question. Just dragged you away from the dance floor all of a sudden. You let him. It was you who were waiting in anticipation then. Couldnât help the sly smile on your face. He was hard to read. He appeared to be nervous. Timid. Subby. But he was manhandling you. And you were allowing it. Allowing him to drag you to a booth. Not private. Just empty. As luck would have it, it was empty. Sat back while pulling you to straddle him. You had no idea what he was playing at. Youâd done some exciting shits, from fucking in a bathroom stall to car sex. Public sex? You hadnât. And you didnât know if you liked it or not. Made you nervous.
âWe are in public, Taehyung.â
âI know.â
âYou know? What are you trying to...â
âYou asked me what you should do about it? This.â
He placed his hands under your knees. Pulled. Made you properly sit on his lap. Your already soaked cunt, pressed right against his rock-hard dick. Grabbed from your hips and pressed you further down. Down onto his dick. You both moaned. But you moaned a little harder. Your skirt ridden up. Flimsy material of your lacy panties bushing against your soaked folds and his pants. You wanted them to be gone. Both your panties and his pants.
âGrind.â
âWhat?â
âYou heard me. Grind on me.â
âBut we are in public.â
âDonât care vixen. You asked me what you should do- well, itâs your fault Iâm painfully hard. So do something about it. Grind. Like a bitch in heat hm? Be good?â
Oh, how the man who practically stuttered when he first reached you has changed. You loved it. Who needs power after all? You had read him wrong. He wasnât the type to be subby. He wasnât going to play your game. You had two options. Either to back away or let him have his way. You simply chose the latter. You didnât need power. Nodded. Started slowly moving your hips. Careful experimental rubs at first. He encouraged you. Bucked his hips upwards. Into your soaked cunt. Moaned. And the world around you disappeared. It was him who left on your world. Him only.
âFuck like that. Keep going.â
âWha.... What if someone sees us.â
âLet them. Letâs give them a show. Hm?â
Your blood was boiling. Cunt dripping. For the first time in your life, you allowed a man to play you. Like the way he wanted. And it was exhilarating. To let him handle you. Do things to you. Stopped trying to be smug and cocky. Became pliant. Found out that you like the idea of being seen. Moaned shamelessly to his words. He smirked. Bucked his hips more into you. Controlled your movements with his hands on your hips. And you did as he asked. Grind on him like a bitch in heat. Taehyung glanced towards where your cunt was dripping onto him. Moaned.
âFuck baby... Like that... keep going. Look how youâre dripping. Make a mess baby. â
âI... I nee... need more.â
âYeah? You need more? Iâll give you more. Just keep going huh? Be a good slut for me.â
You listened to a man for the first time in your life. Quickened your movements. Followed his gaze. Watched how you were staining on his pants. Made your head spin. Grabbed onto his shoulders for leverage. Pushed your cunt harder on him. Felt the knot on your tummy tightened. Couldnât care anymore about being on public. Of someone catching you. It was so good. Not enough but so good. Taehyung looked into your eyes. His eyes were blown out with lust. Pressed a kiss on to your lips before removing his hands from your hips. Only to snaked it between your bodies and pressed two fingers on your clit. Over your panties. Started rubbing your clit softly.
âShit you are so fucking hot. So fucking hot dripping on to me. On a club full of people. So hot rubbing your cute cunt on a stranger. Keep going princess...â
You nearly cried. The knot tightened and tightened. Kept grinding. Felt dizzy. Your cunt on fire. And right at the moment that knot was about to explode Taehyungâs hand left your sopping cunt. Grabbed onto your hips back and stilled you. Pressed you hard down. You whined so loud. Loud enough that you were sure so many people looked at you. It was intense how he robbed you of that orgasm. Intense enough that your thighs trembled.
âNo.... I was... So.. so close.â
âI knowâ
âWhy did you do that then?â
âDonât want this to end. Want to keep you dripping for me as long as I can.â
A shiver ran through your spine. You stared into his eyes. They were beautiful, blown out with lust. Had no idea what came over you when you started kissing him madly. Pressing your lips into his harder. Sucking on his bottom lip and then on his tongue. Taehyung just let you had it. Encouraged you with moans and groans. Started bucking his hips again onto your sensitive pussy. In a minute you were back to grinding. Kissing. Staring into his deep dark eyes. His hands were everywhere. On your hips. Thighs. Back. Ass. And on your boobs. He squeezed them, hard enough you cried out. Circled your nipples through the dress.
âCan I pull this down. Wanna see your pretty tits.â
âFuck Taehyung. What if....â
âNo oneâs looking. Please. Please fuck.â
He didnât wait for your yes. Not that you planned to say no. He was irresistible. So, all you did was moan when he swiftly pulled your dress down with your lacy bra. Making your tits bounce in the air.
âHoly fuck. Fuck, youâre beautiful.â
Closed his eyes and groaned. Opened them again. A fire burning in them. It was the most hottest sight, the way he licked his lips before wrapping those wet lips around one of your nipples. Slapped the other tit. Made it bounce. Did it again, and then again and again. All while sucking on your other nipple hard. Teeth grazing. You were a crying mess. There were no restraints left in you. People could see you. Your naked chest, bouncing under his little slaps. You couldnât care, however. Not when his hot tongue was swirling around your hardened buds. Not when his lips were sucking on your nipples like his life depended on it. Like you were his source of life. Not when he kept his eyes on your face all the time. He popped your nipple out of his mouth and put the other one in his mouth. Did the same thing to the free one. Made it bounce. Pulled away. Kissed your nipples like he was gone mad. Squeezed them together. Buried his face between them. Groaned into your skin. That made your hips rolled faster, bringing you to the edge again.
âIâm gonna cum. Taehyung I... I... please I need to cum.â
For the first time in your life, you asked permission before cumming. Begged from a man for your release. Good thing was that you loved every moment of it. And he stilled you again. You were devastated. Didnât even realize you let the tears gathered on your eyes to rolled down. Wetting your cheeks. Taehyung watched you shatter. Hitched your bodice up again, covering your assaulted tits. Pressed his lips on to your collar bones. Peppered you with kisses. Patted your ass.
âCâmon move baby.â
âWhere? Where are we going?â
âTo make you cum. Want you to cum on my cock. As much as I love having you rub on me like a needy slut. I want to feel your cunt around me. And as much as I love giving people a show, youâre too pretty to be shown.â
Both of your intended destination was a bathroom stall. It was occupied with a long queue of patrons. No fucks were allowed there. And it felt like the end of the world for you. Never have been that turned on in your life. Taehyung was something else.
Fortunately, Taehyung looked like his world ended that moment too. Pressed few kisses to your lips needily before suggesting, leaving the club. That was the fastest yes you gave someone. Didnât know where you were about to go when you exited the club. Not being able to take two steps without kissing. Didnât know how your back ended up pressing against a car door. Kissing like it was the last time you would get to kiss someone. Just a mess of tongue and teeth. You were the first to pulled away first with a pop. Him chasing your mouth. Trail of saliva connecting your still wet lips.
âShit I canât wait anymore Taehyung. I fucking canât.â
âFuck donât say that. Iâll fuck you here.â
âThen you should.â
You may have given the controller to him willingly. Still, you had some tricks to play the game, hidden up your sleeves. You pulled one of them. Hiked your dress up and pushed your panties aside. Kept staring into his lust-filled eyes. Circled your clit for a second before plunged two fingers inside your quivering, needy hole. Moaned intentionally loudly, making him curse. Pulled your fingers back and held them in front of his eyes, glistening with your arousal.
âSee⊠so fucking wet. Iâm dripping.â
âShit! You needy slut.â
Taehyung grabbed your wrist. Pressed his entire body into yours and caged you between his radiant form and the car. Brought your fingers to his mouth. Wrapped his lips around your fingers. You didnât know who moaned louder. You were uncontrollably rubbing your thighs together. Taehyung sucked your fingers clean. Let your hand go and cupped your cheeks with one of his hands. Kissed you again, generously allowing you to taste how sweet you were. Pulled away.
âYou want to get fuck here? Out in the open? Are you sure?â
âYes. Never been so sure Taehyung.â
âWhat my slut wants, she gets.â
It was only a surprised yelp that escaped your mouth when he yanked your figure on to the hood of that car. Hoisted you up on the hood. Buried his face on your neck. Peppering wet kissed across your honeyed skin. Tongue poking out. Teeth grazing. Sucking and indefinitely giving you some purple marks. Made your toes curl and cunt clenched.
âThis isnât your car, is it Taehyung?â
âNo⊠No, fuck. I donât know whose car this is. Do you care? Do we have to wait.â
âNo no no. I donât care. Keep going please.â
You wrapped your legs around his waist, bringing him impossibly close. Taehyung chuckled. Darkly. Peck your lips.
âYou really are a slut. Arenât you baby. A needy slut?â
Mumbled. You didnât answer that question. Only got to nod your head when he slipped his hand inside your already ridden up dress. Hooked his finger on your panties to push it aside. Grazed his fingers over your slicked slit. Made electric sensations run through your body. Kept looking at your fucked-up face when two of his slender fingers teased your hole. For a moment. And then he was pushing past your entrance, in a one swift go. A strangled cry left your throat, your own hand grabbing from his wrist. Your needy hole sucking up his fingers greedily. Started pumping those slender fingers into you without warning. Curled them a bit. You were beyond surprised that he hit the spot right there. He smirked when you reeled at his fingers. Added another. Stretched you wide.
âFuck baby. Youâre wet. So fucking wet. And tight. You gonna fucking kill me. You know. Fuck my fucking dick hurts.â
His voice was shaky when he mumbled against your lips. Hips bucking into your thigh for some kind of friction. That was your sign to do something about his pain. Felt bad that you were selfish. Flew toward his belt and unbuckled it in record time. Did the same with his fly. Slipped your hand inside his boxers, feeling his raging hard for the first time. His dick twitched when your fingers lightly grazed it. Curled your delicate fingers around his hot shaft. Made him moan, and wasnât it the sweetest melody youâve ever heard. His dick felt damn good on your hand. Twitched agian. So, you squeezed it.
âHarder. Squeeze it harder, princess. Holy fuck!! Like that.â
You obeyed his commands so unlike you. Squeezed his dick and pumped. Grazed your thumb over his tip. And he kept pumping his fingers inside you. You were no longer a part of the earth that day. The breeze didnât make you realize you were out in the open. The sound of the music didnât remind you that you were in the parking lot of a club. And you didnât care about dripping onto someone elseâs car hood. You were high. High on Taehyung. Never wanted to pleasure someone else that badly. Never wanted to have someone inside you that badly.
âPlease Taehyung. Fuck me now hm?â
From there it didnât take much more convincing or begging. Taehyung pulled his fingers out of your cunt, making you feel empty and wincing. You did the same. Let his hard cock go. Watched him fumble with his pants for second before he freed his hard dick out. Watched it spring out in the cold air, tip red and angry. Swollen and pre cum leaking. You gulped harshly. That was the most fucking beautiful dick youâve ever seen. Made your mouth water.
âFuck I want you in my mouth.â
âYeah? You want my dick on your slutty mouth? I fucking love the idea baby. Love to see your lips wrapped around me. But my cock will fall down if I donât fuck you right now.â
That was very dramatic, but you agreed. You felt like you were about to die. Nodded desperately. Spread your legs wide apart. For him and him only. Taehyung chuckled. Pumped himself. And that was a sight for sore eyes. Came closer to you. Only to halt his movement all of a sudden. His smile faltered while you watched.
âWhat? What is it?â
âA condom. I donât have one.â
For a second time you felt like your world ended. It was incredulous how he came to a club searching for lay but didnât have protection with him. Incredulous how that it was your intention, but you didnât have one either. You gaped at each other. He shivered. Not from cold. Let his cock go so he could grab from your thighs. Looked like he was about to cry.
âBaby, Iâm clean I promise. Iâll stop if you want but Iâm clean. I really want you. It hurts princess.â
That was a damn risk to take. How did you ever trust a stranger? That could have been the end of your sex escapades. But his words lit a insatiable fire inside you, driving you crazy. So, you nodded, desperately. Making Taehyung sigh in relief.
âIâm clean too.â
Thatâs all it took him to spring into action. Pushed your thigh further back, hiking your dress up. Stared at your sopping cunt and your wet panties sticking into your core. Cursed. Asked you to push your panties aside and aligned his tip with you. Silently asked you if you were ready and with one nod from you, he entered you in one go. No slow penetrations but a hard thrust in that made you nearly scream. Seized your hips, pushed you even more into him. Stilled you, while his cock was buried deep inside you. Breathed into your mouth. Took a moment. Allowed you to feel how perfectly he slotted inside you. Your walls stretched apart. He had girth and length to made you fill to the brim. Made you feel how pleasurable to have him stretched you and how good it was to feel his dick twitch.
âMove please.â
Every second that passed, only added fuel to the fire inside you. Even when he was deep inside you, you wanted more. You bucked your hips onto his. Grind. Gave him the best puppy eyes you could muster, and he listened. To your desperate plea. Held on to your hips from one hand for leverage and made your thigh pushed onto you with the other. Gave an experimental roll of his hips. Got you reeling. Gave another and then another, until he was thrusting into you fast. Hard. Your toes curling and thighs shaking. His eyebrows pulled together in concentration. Mouth agape. Short quick breath nibbled your lips. He was intoxicating. And you were drunk on him. Each and every pleasurable thrust, each drag on your fluttering walls brought you to ecstasy. And the moment when he pushed his hand under your ass to pull you slightly up, the moment his tip hit you at that one spot, you allowed yourself to cry.
âFuck, like that baby. Cry dumb on my cock. You fucking feel like heaven. You wanna cum? Touch your cute little clit for me baby. Make yourself cum. Cream my cock.â
Your hand reached to your clit between your bodies so fast. Started rubbing figure eights furiously. Drove yourself into insanity and dragged Taehyung with you to that. He picked up his phase. Fingers digging on to your thighs harsh that they left marks for weeks. You were sure it didnât take you more than two fucking minutes to fall apart. His name was the only thing left on your tongue as you cried for him. Cried from the immense pleasure. Dragged your high for as long as you can. Stopped rubbing your clit when it became too much but Taehyung didnât even slow down. Overwhelming you. Making your legs tremble. Making you whine and plead.
âCanât stop. Fuck I canât baby. Sorry, but you feel so damn fucking good. Fucking wet. I canât stop. Câmon cum again. Cum for me like a good whore. One more time. Please..â
A new wave of arousals shot through you at his words. Made you drip more on his cock with your tummy fluttering. Held onto his shoulders for dear life and let him pound onto your abused cunt. Happily, allowed him to pull the neckline of your dress back, freeing your tits. Moaned when he started sucking and squeezing on them. Came apart for a second time while he started at your bouncing tits like he was enthralled. You were absolutely right to think he would be able to make you cum more than once. He made you cum twice and then thrice. You were a crying mess sprawled on some strangerâs car after falling apart for a third time. Taehyung was hanging on a thread himself. Covered in sweat. The hottest thing youâve ever seen.
âIâm close baby. So close. Keep squeezing me like that. Like good girl huh? God, youâre fucking perfect.â
And he had a dirty mouth. You loved it. You loved every moment of it.
âShit Iâm gonna cum. Where? Where do youâŠ. wantâŠâ
That was a question to which you should give a straight âpull outâ. He was a stranger. You were already risking the STDs. That was the day you learned that people make stupid decisions when they are drunk and high. It doesnât matter on what.
âInside please. Want you to cum inside me.â
âFucking hell!... You want a fucking stranger to cum inside you? Fuck. How much of a whore you could be?â
âDonât care. Please Taehyung inside. Fill me up.â
âFuck yes. Yes. Yes. Gonna fill you up. Fill you up with cum. And you gonna go home like that. My cum dripping down your thighs. Like the good slut you are.â
âYes, fuck yes. I promise.â
Pathetic how you cried for a shot of cum. But was worth every minute of it when he finally broke apart. Shattered. Cursed out aloud. It was the pure ecstasy when you felt his hot cum spilled inside you. And it was heartbreaking how you wanted to hold onto him forever when he hid his face on your neck. Whining. His dick still throbbing inside you.
It was heartbreaking, that everything ended.
.....................................
Five years and seven months ago
Taehyung had never thought the best sex of his life would be on top of a strangerâs car. He never thought that fuck would mess him up so much that he couldnât sleep for days. Never thought that a one-night stand would ruin him for anyone else. That he would have to fuck his fist to the memory of you for any kind of relief. On top of everything, he never thought he would ever see you again. But then he did. Unexpectedly. After five months. On his colleague slash the girl he was in a situation shipâs house. He was there with her to pick some documents up. Something she forgot.
He stood in the living room while she rummaged through her house. Thatâs when someone descended the stairs in such a hurry that they skipped a stair. Held on to the banister to save their neck. Eyes landed on him at the same time his landed on them, clutching the banister for dear life. You. You who was his best fuck for the life. You, in front of him again in a baggy white T-shirt and blue shorts. You who stared at him with an open mouth, just like he did. You both blinked at each other. Until his colleague slash situationship realized you were there. She looked at you and then at Taehyung and told the last thing he wanted to hear.
âOh, meet my sister Taehyung. Say hi sis, this is Taehyung. The man Iâve told you. I think I left that in my room. Gimme a min Taeâ
And she disappeared through a door to her right. Left you and him alone. He watched you regain your composure and got onto your feet again. Waited till you descended the stairs and approached him. You smiled at him. Your sweet smile. The sweetest. His heart stopped. The world blurred, like the first day he saw you.
âWell, hello Mr. Kim Taehyung.â
âHello Vixen.â
Ever since then he found a reason to be at your place. He was a selfish little shit for doing that. To use your sister just to find a way to you. He knew he was giving your sister hope by visiting her almost every day. For so many dumb reasons. Yet, he couldnât help it. Just one sneak at you made him want to dance. Made him feel alive. He felt like a stupid teenager. So, he kept being selfish. At first, you were surprised to see him for a second time at your place. Then day by day you realized why he was there. You were a smart girl after all. Proved to him that you were indeed a vixen. Stopped wearing those baggy T- shirts and replaced them with flimsy tank tops. Wore booty shorts instead of sweats. Wore see through blouses with no bras. Made his brain short circuit and dick throb at how your nipples peaked through. Treated him like your sisterâs boyfriend. That annoyed him to no end. They werenât in a relationship at all. But you knew how to torture his mind and body. With your occasional slutty smiles. With your body innocently and accidentally brushing against him here and there.
Still, he never made a move. Never grew the balls to stop playing his cowardly games. Simply was the biggest coward on the damn earth. Until that day you brought a man home. While he was lounging on your couch. With your sister. In a sour mood because you werenât home. And then there you came, with someone elseâs hand on your waist. Introduced him as a friend of yours. Invited him to your room. And Taehyung was burning. Burning with a fire that set by you. A fire that ate him inside out. He was seeing red because how jealous he was. He wanted to strangle that man. Wanted to fuck you in front of him. Couldnât think of anything else other than what you might be up to in your room. A room he had never been to.
Thatâs when you came downstairs again. Your shower basket in your hand. Taehyung has been in your house long enough to know you share a one bathroom and itâs on the down floor. Knew you were about to take a shower. It made his sour mood worse. Didnât want another man to see you in your damp hair. With your skin glistening after water freshened you.
He was only seeing blind red when he waited until your sister went to grab something. He was enthralled by the jealousy when he found himself striding to your bathroom. Knew the lock of the door was broken. Funny how your family has been screaming âIâm taking the bathroomâ before anyone of you used it. He stood there for a minute. Listening to the sound of water. Imagined you naked under that shower. That thought alone made his dick hard. Wasnât thinking clearly when he pushed the door open. You didnât notice nor did you hear anything until he was inside, closed the door behind him and walked up to the little shower box. Yanked the glass door open. Thatâs only you jumped at the sound, turned around startled. Eyes wide, and taking him in. Hands went to cover your chest.
âFuck, Taehyung, what are you doing?â
You were innocently and genuinely surprised. Taehyung on the other hand was spell bounded. Enchanted by your naked little figure in front of him. Water cascading across your honey skin. Through your slender curves. He ogled at your breasts and the way they pushed higher with your hands. Fuck werenât you gorgeous. The most beautiful thing he has ever seen. How he always regretted and blamed him for rushing things with you that night. For not being patient enough to take you to a private place and get you stark naked. For not being able to see you in all your glory. Sue him for ogling at you like that. But you were just perfect.
âArenât you a fucking pervert Kim Taehyung?â
When he looked at your face, he knew there was no malice in your words. There was a sly smile. Your sweet slutty smile.
âI am. I am a fucking pervert.â
He knew you enjoyed the snap of his limit. Knew you were happy that you made him follow you into the shower. Knew you expected him to act on his impulses under your tortures one day. You didnât, however, expect him to be stormed into the shower box. Your eyes bulged out when he pushed you back on to the slippery wall tiles. The sound you let out when he pressed his lips onto yours made his tummy flutter. He didnât care about his clothes getting wet. Didnât care how he would explain this to anybody later. About your sister being there in the same house. It was only you in his eyes. Only you when he tasted you after so long. Your intoxicating taste. Your tongue lapped against him.
It happened all fast. The way he discarded his clothes. Started savoring every inch of your body with his hand and lips. You mumbled something about how you shouldnât do that there. He simply didnât listen. He was thinking with his raging boner. Made you go on your knees and choked on his dick. Eyes tearing up and gagging around him. Thrusted into your mouth and praised you for being a good slut. His slut. Pulled out from your mouth when his balls started to tighten.
âNo donât do that. Wanted you to cum in my mouth.â
âNext time, baby.â
âNext time?â
âYes, next time. I promise.â
It was adorable how you whined for his cum. Even adorable how you, a little vixen, turned pliant under him. A whiny mess. Made his dick throb. He ignored your cautions of getting caught and being in your house, inside a closed door which wasnât locked. Was so happy to think, that man you bought home was currently waiting for you while he hoisted you up. Pressed you against the wall and lined his throbbing dick at your sopping pussy. His brain was malfunctioning when he started to push inside you. This time he did it slowly. Painfully slow for both of you. It was euphoric how your walls fluttered around his girth. Was head spinning the feeling of your cute cunt struggle to take him.
He knew he was a goner when you started squeezing on him. When you started to beg for him to move. So, he did. You were irresistible. Thrusted into your quivering cunt with everything he got. Made you cum so hard on his dick. Picked up his phase when you cried out for him. Didnât stop until you were trembling badly. Didnât stop when your sister knocked on your door and you had to answer. Made sure you screamed his name when that friend of yours did the same and asked you whatâs taking so long. Best part was you came at that moment, bringing him over the edge with you.
âFuck like that slut. Cum on my cock while he listensâ
âTaehyung god. Want you to cum inside me.â
âI will baby. Iâll make sure youâre always full of my cum now on.â
.....................................
Five years ago
Ever since that day, he kept his promise toward you.
Next time, I promise
There were so many next times. How you didnât get caught by your sister was a miracle. Only that your friend was gone by the time you left the bathroom. You snuck clothes for Taehyung that day. Even managed to keep him for the night. And he stopped coming to your place with your sister. Instead, popped up on your porch after few days with orchid. You snorted so hard at that. He pouted so hard at that. You felt your heart swell. Had no other options but kiss that pout away. You sneaked him inside. Every night from that day. To your attic room.
Thatâs how he slowly became an inseparable part of your life. From your endless sex to cuddles on the bed. From your sneaky outings to just sitting on your windowsill. In the middle of the night. Smoking cigarettes with your window open. Just to let the smoke go out so your mom wonât find out. Sharing the same cigarette and laughing about his silly jokes. Getting your lives startled out of your bodies whenever a knock came on your door. Throwing the cigarette out of the window and waving the smoke out. Pushing a grinning Taehyung under your bed and sit on you bed very non-suspiciously when your mom or sister poked their head inside your room. You lived a teenage life with him when you both were adults.
Made endless excuses every time you spend a day at his place. Invited him over to yours whenever you were home alone. Made him read books with you. He never liked it. Preferred to gape at your face more.
âYou donât have to read if you donât want to.â
âYeah?â
âOf course, Tae. You can do anything you want.â
âLetâs fuck, then.â
âNope.â
âWhy not?â
âYou always take control over me. I kind of like it. But, still Tae, I prefer to have some control in my life sometimes. Like this. So, no. No fucking.â
âOh câmon, take the control then.â
âYou should be more careful when you speak Tae Tae.â
âI know what Iâm saying. Take the control vixen. Tie me up to your bed.â
And you did. Got revenge for all the time he edged you. Edged him until tears rolled down his cheeks. Kept his cock warm inside you for hours. Knew he would take revenge one day, but you lived in those moments. With him. Lived an exhilarating life until you met the first boulders together. Getting caught by your sister being the first. Walked up to him after a huge fight at your house. Knocked on his door to say you should stop your fuck buddy relationship. Almost left him there when he yelled.
âI love you. I fucking love you stupid vixen. You canât just walk away.â
Those were the most beautiful words youâve ever heard in your life. You had frozen when he shouted at your back. Had gaped into his face when he ran to you and turned you to face him.
âI know you love me tooâ
âDonât be so sure sailor.â
You werenât feeling cocky that day. Your throat was dry like you ate sand. And he didnât grin at your words like other days. Watched you with a stern face. Made you realize there will be no sun rising in your world without him.
âYes. Yes, fuck. I love you too. I fucking love you tooâŠâ
And he grinned. Kissed the life out of you. Told you he will walk with you to end of the world. Cheeky. You said so. He didnât care. And he did walk with you. He walked with you when you cried over unanswered emails from hundreds of book publishers. He walked with you until you finally resolved things with your sister. He walked with you when you eventually received an answer from a little publishing group. He walked with you when you finally published a book. He was there with you each and every step.
You went from strangers at a club to buying a house together. His friends became your friends. Yours became his. You slotted together like puzzle pieces. Fought and cried over silly matters. And then one of you pouted so hard until the other forgave. Slow danced in the living room and threw your own little musical shows. Him just wearing a towel and you in your bathrobe. Hair dryer was your mic, and he was your only admirer. So was you for him. You lived in those moments. With him. Through every up and down. You loved him. You still do. Dearly.
.....................................
One and a half year ago
He and you fought. Not always but sometimes, like all the other couples do. But ever since you started your new job at a new publishing agency, you have fought a little more. The reason was your agent. Kim Namjoon. Taehyung always despised him. Maybe he wasnât fair. But the guy always had heart eyes when he looked at you. Taehyung was still obsessed with you after all those times. He was freaking jealous to see Namjoon all over you. And you knew that too. Knew Namjoon wasnât just being a friend. Still, you wanted your job. Taehyung understood. Understood that it was your dream, knew you loved him more than your own world. And even with that his jealousy side sometime won.
Thatâs what happened that day. When you were about to leave for a meeting with Kim Namjoon. Taehyung was frustrated. Devastated. And he regretted it immediately after you left. Regretted that he called you an attention seeking slut and asked you to do whatever the fuck you wanted.
Why the fuck you canât understand what Iâm⊠No. Guess what (âŠ.), go fucking ahead and do whatever fuck you want. Youâre nothing but an attention seeking slutâŠ
You werenât. You was nothing but his entire world. His sun and moon. His little princess. The most lovable, kindest, and gentle person on the world. You were that high spirited bubble that made his world colorful in the darkest of night. He never said that to you, however. Instead, he called you an attention seeking slut. And when he wanted to say sorry and take everything back. It was too late. He never got to tell you that.
The moment he received that call from an unknown number, his only chance to tell you that you were his world was robbed from him. A single phone call was all it took to let him know that he will never be able to tell you those things that were left unsaid. The phone call that changed his life, and informed him that they were regretting it to tell him, the car his girlfriend was travelling is crashed. Crushed by a truck. And they were so sorry that you didnât make it. Taehyung yelled at that person from the top of his lungs. Cursed them for playing funny games with him. Denied it over and over again. Until he couldnât. In the end he couldnât. He never got to tell you that you were his sun and moon. You werenât there anymore.
.....................................
One and a half year ago
It was all a vague memory. The way your heart shattered at his words. The way you shouted back at him. The way you left your home. It all felt like a dream. So did your conversation with Namjoon. All of his questions regarding why you were crying. Hell, you didnât know you were crying. You shrugged those questions away. But Namjoon was stubborn. Kept asking you questions until you broke into a loud cry that caught his complete attention. His attention, which should have been on the road, instead of on you. You didnât remember when and where that damn truck appeared but when you noticed and screamed, it was all too late.
You woke up, however. Yes, you did. While it felt like your head spinning. Even with everything, you woke up, only to find your own body lying in the crashed debris of a car. It took you a little while to understand that you were dead. To understand that it was all too late. To remember that you left Taehyung behind. That you stormed out of your home that evening after fighting with him. It was all too late when you turned around and started running toward your house. Too late when you reached your home that Taehyung was already a sobbing wreck on the floor. With Jimin and Jungkook. His head hidden in Jungkookâs chest. He was fucking wailing. Wailing uncontrollably into his friendâs chest. Both of his friends were crying too but Taehyung was struggling to breathe.
âFuck it was my fault Jungkook-ah. I drove her away... IâŠI...â
The rest was muffled in Jungkookâs chest.
âHoly fuck, no man. It wasnât you. No. You didnât do anything. It was no oneâs fault.â
You watched Jungkook sob into Taehyungâs hair. Watched Jimin trap Taehyung between him and Jungkook.
âShe would hate herself if she heard you say that. Donât fucking say that. It wasnât you. She knows it wasnât you Tae. She knows.â
Yes. You knew. Yes, Jimin was right that you hated yourself that moment. It wasnât him. Only if you had listened to him and stayed home. You wanted to console him. Touch him. Kiss him. Say that itâs all okay and thereâs no reason to cry. Made him hide his face in your chest like you always did when he was sad. You tried. You tried with all your will. But nothing worked. Nobody bat an eye toward you. Nobody felt you. Heard you. No matter how hard you tried to touch Taehyung. It was all too late. And the last thing you said to him was, that he was a jealous, possessive prick.
You are fucking jealous Taehyung. Fucking jealous Iâm making it, donât you. You fucking jealousy, possessive prick. Guess what? Yes, Iâm an attention seeking slut, and Iâll gain all the attention of the world.
Those werenât true. He wasnât someone like that. He was your sunshine. The boy who brought flowers for you. For a girl who never received flowers in her life. He never was jealous. Not with you. He was your pillar to hang on to. The only person who believed in you like a moth would follow flame. You wanted to tell that to him. But it was all too late. He didnât hear you.
.....................................
Now
Ever since that cursed day, you followed Taehyung around. To every place you could. Watched him break apart. Shattering into a million pieces. Watched him die day by day. From crying onto his pillow to stop showing his emotions at all. Watched him become an empty husk. Hollow. And you died all over again with him. You thought all pains would end with death. And there you were burning on a fire that never went off. Shared that hell with Taehyung. Felt helpless when you couldnât make him eat. Help him sleep. You were a nothing more than a reader of an anguished book. Helpless. Your heart broke each moment passed. Still, all you could do was watch and cry.
Watched him bring women home. Watched him go to their homes. Hell, you followed him even there. Cried your eyes out. It was a tortures mix between seeing him suffer and seeing him with someone else. You were selfish after all. Selfish enough that you couldnât leave him. Couldnât leave him in his misery.
Until now, the day everything changed.
You watch him stare at the bathroom door, waiting for her to come. You are in pain. So much pain.
.....................................
Now
Taehyung had waited countless times on your bed until you joined him after your shower. On the days he was too lazy to join you. Even after spending more than three years with you, he always felt giddy when you entered the room just in a towel. Just like how he feels now. To see her enter the room. Just in a towel. It feels wrong because he came here because she reminded him of you. The same kind of aura that pulled him up. It feels wrong because he is comparing her to you. He expects her to be you. She isnât you. Even though she smiles at him fondly like you always did.
âStay the night here, sailor?â She mumbles as she throws a T-shirt over her head. Taehyungâs heart stops for a beat again.
Stay here tonight sailor. Iâll find a way to sneak you in.
Thatâs exactly what you said after he fucked you that day in your family house bathroom.
âWhatâs wrong? Are you okay?â She asks again when he doesnât reply. Climbs onto the bed next to him. Peers at his eyes. Smiles with her eyes. âYou should smile more. Like this.â She smiles at him. Pokes at his ribs. Nuzzles his cheek with her nose. âCâmon sailor. It doesnât cost you to smile.â Wines in complaint and Taehyung canât help but softly chuckle.
âThere you go. Youâre fucking beautiful when you laugh.â She says as she keeps poking at his ribs.
âI want to be handsome. Not beautiful.â
âYouâre most definitely handsome. Smile some more. Laugh.â She bites onto his cheek. The smile ghosted on his lips breaks into a grin. And then into a laugh. He canât help it when it naturally comes within his chest. And she laughs too. Aloud.
For the first time after one-and-a-half years Taehyung laughs. Like how he used to do. Like himself. Like he did with you. And she laughs like you. Not in the same way but in the kind of way that makes him relax. In a way that makes his darkest night colorful. She is a rainbow, and you were a sun. She is not you but thatâs okay. She can give him hope again. Hope and purpose to live. He can hang onto her. He can laugh.
âŠâŠ
He watches her chest rise and fall while she is sleeping. Looks at her peaceful face.
Sheâs fucking gone Taehyung. Fucking gone. You need to move the fuck on.
Itâs been more than a year Kim Taehyung.
Yes, his friends were right. You were gone. You arenât coming back. No matter how long he waits. He canât die. Not anymore. He wants to live. For you. For him. To remember you till the day he dies. To cherish your memory with him. To see what the life will hold for him. He will tell her about you one day. He will heal. Move on. Not forgetting you. No, he canât do that. You will always be his sun and moon. But he will learn to love again. Learn to live. And he will let go of you.
It hurts. Hurts to think that he will need to finally let go of you. To finally accept that you were gone. Without giving him a chance to let you know how much he loves you. All he wanted was one chance. Just one to tell you that he loves you. To hear you say it back. To apologise. Hold you and kiss you dearly. Tell you that you were his sun and moon. He canât. He will never have that one opportunity. Itâs time he should let you go.
âYou are free, my vixen. You can go. I love you but itâs time for you to go.â He mumbles into nothing before closing his eyes. Peaceful for the first time.
.....................................
Now
It hurts. It hurts like hell to hear him say that. To hear him ask you to leave. You donât want to. The sun will not rise in a world without him. Even though this is neither living nor dying you want to hang onto him. Even though this is an endless pain you want to be with him. Even though you canât make him happy or laugh, canât make him live, you want to be there for him.
âThatâs your closure (âŠ.) You need to move on now.â The sudden voice doesnât startle you. Not when you are so accustomed to that presence next you. For a year and a half. You turn to look at him.
âWhat do you mean?â Your voice trembling.
âYou couldnât move on because he held on to you. You were stuck here because you didnât have your closure to move on. You were stuck to him because he was hanging on to you. You couldnât leave him when he was suffering. But he is going to be okay.â Namjoonâs voice is soothing. Like always.
âThatâs not true. I was here because I wanted to. Because I love him. Because he loves me.â You shake your head in dissent.
âYes, you both love each other. But sometimes it isnât enough. You canât make a difference in his life (âŠ.), like you couldnât all this time. You need to let him live his life. Iâm sorry I killed you. Iâm sorry I dragged you into this place-â
âIt wasnât your fault, Namjoon. It was nobodyâs fault.â At first, you resented him so much. Blamed him for everything. For the pain Taehyung was feeling. But it wasnât him. You know it wasnât him.
âYeah, but I donât knowâŠ. You died (âŠ). He is still alive. Let him live that life. This is your time to move on.â Namjoon looks at you. You canât make his features in the dark.
It was at your own funeral, sitting on a dark corner, watching Taehyung breaking apart, when you first saw Namjoon. Neither of you made it. And you forgot him until that day. You yelled at him. Accused him for being at fault. Yet, he never left. All those times you watched Taehyung, he was watching you. You knew he loved you more than a friend when you were alive. You knew Taehyung was right. But it wasnât as if you would choose someone over Kim Taehyung. Not even that person is Kim Namjoon. You are bounded to Taehyung even after your death. Still, you feel gratification towards Namjoon.
âWhy didnât you go Namjoon? Why then, you are here? If I was simply stuck here until Tae gives me my closure. What are you doing here?â
He smiles at you. His dimple smile.
âMaybe you are my closure. You just gave me my closure.â
It wasnât your fault, Namjoon. It was nobodyâs fault.
You gave him his closure. You watch him. He smiles again. It makes sense now. You turn your head to Taehyung, walk over to the bed where he is sleeping with another woman. Thereâs nothing you can do. You are dead. He is not. You want him to live. A life he will remember. A life where he would always laugh. You need to let him live. Thereâs pang in your chest. Nothing unfamiliar, that pang was always there.
You watch Taehyung breathe peacefully as he sleeps. After a long time, he is not thrashing. Not crying in his sleep. Doesnât mumble your name. He is peaceful. You can move on now. He let you go. Tears start rolling on your cheeks. There are so many things that left unsaid. You never got to tell him that how he made you feel alive. That he is the most selfless person you met. That you felt how much he loved you by just the way he looked at you. You didnât get that chance.
âI never got to tell him sorry Namjoon. Sorry for saying those things to him. Never got to apologize for anything. I donât want him to think that I hated him. Because I didnât. I loved him, I love him. IâŠâ
âTrust me he knows (âŠ). He knows you loved him. He knows you love him.â
You donât believe Namjoon. But what other options do you have. You canât say sorry to him.
He never blamed you. Not even for leaving him. He is fucking selfless. There are things still unresolved but then why you must go now. You still have to apologize.
You feel Namjoonâs hands wrapped around your trembling figure. From behind.
âYou need to go because he knows. He knows you never meant them. He freed you (âŠ)â That was an answer for an unasked question.
Taehyung freed you. You need to free him too. Live him his life. You watch him for another moment. Nod. He knows. You know he knows.
You step forward. A little bit closer to the edge of the bed. Namjoon follows you. Hands never leaving you. You desperately want to feel Taehyung one more time. Just feel his warmth. Desperately want one more day. You wish you had one more day to tell him he was your life line. One more day to tell him you love him. Just for one more time. To hear him say those words back.
I love you. I fucking love you stupid vixen.
âI love you, Kim Taehyung. I always did and always will. Iâm sorry I called you those things, but you know that I didnât mean them donât you sailor? I didnât. I should have let you know that you were my anchor. Iâm sorry that I leftâŠ. Sorry for every fight, every harsh word....â You want to say so much more but words get tangle in your throat. You want to apologise for every time you couldnât be what he needed. But the words keep sticking to your tongue. Only the ache of whatâs unsaid left in you. So, you simply repeat that you love him for a one last time.
You lean down, freeing yourself from Namjoons hands. Stare at the breath-taking face of your lover. Past lover. His flawless skin. The little moles. Sharp jaw. Perfect cupid bow. The man you love. You want them engraved in your memory. What if you forget them? What if you forget how beautiful he is? So, you stare, stare and stare. Until you feel Namjoonâs hand softly graze your shoulder.
You nod, just to let Namjoon know that youâre ready. Youâll let your baby go. Just need one more minute. You use that minute to say you love him once again. Even though he canât hear. You use that minute to place an invisible kiss to his forehead, like you always did. Even though he canât feel.
Straighten up. Turn around and take Namjoonâs hand. Let him walk you out. Walking away feels like chains are breaking. The chains that kept you tied up to Taehyung. Weight is lifting but it isnât relieving. Your story with Kim Taehyung is ending. For real this time.
You donât know whatâs wait for you in other side. You will face that anyway. You will let the sweet boy with starts in his eyes live. You will let the boy who brought you flowers everyday even after you died, bring those flowers for some one else. You will let the boy with his adorable boxy grin laughs, like he did with you. You will leave him behind. To live his life. Even if it means leaving the love that still blinds you.
THE END.
#bts#bts angst#bts smut#bts oneshot#bts au#taehyung smut#kim taehyung#kim namjoon#taehyung#taehyung scenarios#kim taehyung smut#taehyung angst#taehyung oneshot#smut bts#bts fanfic#taehyung fanfic#jeon jungkook#park jimin#Closure
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âeternal reign | knj |
đ„ pairing: vampire king!namjoon x concubine!namedreader đ„ au/genre: arranged marriage au, joseon era au, s2l, fluff, smut, angst đ„ rating: M đ„ wc: 7,748 đ„ warnings: some Joseon Dynasty research, reader starts as a concubine, mentions of murders, minor character deaths (off screen, minimal detail), patriarchal society, this is a vampire story, so some things come with the territory, like: mentions of blood, dubious consent, blood drinking, bleeding, scars, predator/prey feelings, explicit smut: unprotected vaginal sex, blood play, marking, eating out, nipple play  đ„ an: I used some of the historical figures of the Joseon Dynasty, and while I researched a lot for accuracy of this time period to respect the culture to the best of my knowledge, some historical information has been shifted and molded as this is a fiction story. For more information on Korean Coronation Events. Dual POV of 3rd and 2nd person, but the reader is named.
special thanks to the beta readers: @moonleeai, @colormepurplex2, @downbad4yoongi, @heathfritillary-blog, and @pars-ley
đ„ summary: In the shadowed courts of the Joseon Dynasty, a new King rulesâone who holds a centuries-old secret that could unravel the kingdom. Namjoon, cloaked in mystery, is forced into a political marriage with the cunning yet unknowing Taelani, who soon discovers that her husband is no mere mortal. Drawn into his dark legacy and a web of alliances that could seal their fate, Taelani faces a choice: fulfill her familyâs long-hidden destiny or defy it in pursuit of a forbidden love. As whispers of blood and betrayal rise, the throne itself may be the ultimate sacrifice.
đ„ an#2:đThis wicked treat was written for Theresa - @mrsparkjimin18 as part of the âSweet Tricks & Wicked Treatsâ BWHQ Fic Gifting Event đand was also written for the @bangtanwritershqâs 4th Quarter Writing Event: Monster Mash
masterlist â ao3
Joseon Dynasty year 1483
đ„đ„đ„Namjoonđ„đ„đ„
Namjoon never expected to sit upon the sacred altar in Changdeokgung Palace, as the recipient of the Three Cheers from the crowd, where the people hurrahed for his longevity and for the dynasty.Â
âWe are meant to rule from the shadows,â the memory of his grandfatherâs voice flits through his head as if heâs standing beside him. âAn absolute and eternal reign relies on the eternal flame which burns with our dedication and loyalty, and which must remain out of sight from those who wish to douse our light.âÂ
And yet, mere hours ago, under the beating heat of the Korean sun, he participated in the Transfer of the State Seal with Queen Sindeok, listened to the Three Solemn Calls, watched as the Three Kowtows were performed, and returned it with the Four Ceremonious Bows.  Â
The room around him is loud, and Namjoon struggles to focus for a moment as he gazes across the crowded space. The gilded walls encapsulate the refreshments and revelry as the noble families celebrate his ascension to ruler of the country. He looks around, eyes finally landing on his family members split between being wall flowers blending in and meteor showers glittering as they shine across the night sky.Â
He takes an unneeded deep breath, sighing in his discomfort. He knows it was his idea; something had to be done to maintain the balance in the realm, but heâs not used to being a figurehead for something so much larger than himselfâfor the very thing he sacrificed everything for to protect.Â
âAh, Yi Bangâ I mean, King Namjoon, my apologies,â the greasy-haired Chief State Councillor Jeong Dojeon bows lowly in apology at using the given name of the prince and not his newly appointed royal title now that the transition to king has been completed.Â
That is one upside to this position, Namjoon thinks as he stares at the man. Even if I must hide my identity, at least I am able to keep my true name.Â
âI wanted to present to you my familyâs gift for your coronation.â His eyes, small and squirrely, gleam with a dark intent that Namjoon has always detested. As one of the government officials appointed by the previous Queenâs father, Dojeon craves ultimate power, pushing for the Councillors to make decisions for the King, instead of enacting and enforcing the Kingâs decisions. âThis is Jeong Taelani, my eldest daughter. She is now yours, Pyeha.âÂ
The honorific term is not lost on Namjoon. The Chief State Councillorâs schmoozing actions are as oily as his hair, but Namjoonâs not a squeaking door, and his disdain only grows as he tracks the sweep of Dojeonâs hand towards the girl next to him, as if he needs a concubine to loosen him up.Â
But Namjoon has to work hard to school his features back to stoic boredom when his eyes fall onto theâunable to believe he called her a girlâbeautiful woman standing a pace behind her father.Â
Red hanbok lace and silks flow over her curves. Gold threading is woven intricately at the hem, along the cuffs engulfing her delicate hands, and at the lapels that tie above the swell of her breasts, glimmering, resplendent swirls that captivate him. He doesnât show it, though. Despite his next words, his tone is full of boredom and his eyes barely linger on her.Â
âThank you, Dojeon, she is a true beauty.â
The older man smirks, rubbing his bearded face thoughtfully. âShe has been trained for, ahem, her positionâassisting your every needâin the palace her whole life, and vetted through the steps to be placed here just last week. I am sure that you will find her to be up to your standards.â He bows once more, this time much lower, before backing away from the elevated seating area and disappearing back into the party.Â
âEmperor,â Taelani bows deeply, her knees gracefully meeting the floor as she pays him the respect of a ruling monarch. Her voice is a deeper honey sound, more seduction than the tittering pitch of the female nobles Namjoon is used to.Â
âJeong Taelani,â Namjoon tests her name in his mouth, her jasmine fragrance invading his senses as she resumes her previous standing position. Her large eyes look away from his gaze quickly, but thatâs all he needs to feel the heat of the lightning they struck him with. He can feel his pants tighteningâthankfully, his gujangbok covers his crotch from the view of both Taelani and his attendees.Â
He stiffens, feeling something else begin to lengthen in need, and he turns his eyes swiftly away from Taelani, looking at the palace guards nearest him.Â
âPlease escort Taelani to her chambers, and send for the Huwon guards. I will meet them shortly.â
đ„
Sharpened ivory glistens under the moonlight before piercing the unblemished bronze skin of the womanâs throat, his venom silencing the beginnings of a guttural shriek before it can really begin. He settles in the gazebo with a jimil nain, or lady-in-waiting, straddled across his lap. Her throaty sounds transition instead to a pleasurable moan as she attempts to grip the lapels of his ceremonial robes.Â
He grasps her hands, pulling them away from him and moving them behind her back, clutching both wrists in one hand so his free hand can resume controlling her head for his monthly feeding. One that he should not have needed just yet, thanks to the retaliatory massacre last week, but he ignores that fact for now.Â
The blood fills his mouth, sharp pulls draining the essence from the woman as her movements against his body slow. Heâs thankfulâher body is not the one he craves to be writhing above him in pleasure, despite her lovely sounds and curves.Â
He has to play this role smartly. His familyâs legacy is on the line. He withdraws his fangs, feeling the dull ache of thirst dissipate fully as his blood lust retreats. The woman is nearly unconscious, and the two guards who brought her approach her limp form silently.
âThank you,â he says to his younger brothers, both adorned in the traditional wear of the Naegeumwi Royal Guards. They take the woman from him as he stands before the youngest of the two, Jungkook, takes her fully and holds her almost in a loverâs embrace. Namjoon looks at them as he steps several paces away and Taehyung, his other sibling, approaches him and straightens his robes to help him look presentable again.
âNaBi was the only one we could get on such short notice,â he explains quietly as the sounds of Jungkook feeding crescendos and subsequently drops as he heals the bites on the now sleeping womanâs neck. âShe was already in Kookâs room waiting for him.â
Namjoon runs his fingers over his silks, tightening the belt at his waist. âTell him Iâm sorry I didnât mean to mess up his feeding schedule. The hunger just took over and IâŠâ
âHe understands.â Taehyung places his hand on his older brotherâs shoulder. âWeâve never taken on something like this, so we didnât know what to prepare for. Weâll move more of the feeders into the palace in various positions, and Jimin can oversee them. Your plan was the best one, and we will find a way to make it work.â Â
Jungkook cradles the womanâs body in his arms bridal style as he steps towards the door. He and Taehyung lead Namjoon out of the garden and back towards the main palace. Jungkook turns to the left down a hallway after they enter shelter as Taehyung and Namjoon continue toward the Emperor's chambers.Â
âHave Jimin order more of the blood tea for the feeders. Iâm not sure how often Iâll need to feed now thatâŠâ he trails off as they walk, thoughts conflicted with this strange turn of events. He stops once he reaches the doorway of his room. âAnd Taehyung? Discretion, please.â
Namjoon feels the tension leave his body once he is in his own space. He didnât expect to feel the voracious pull to feed so soonâhe drank more than his fill merely a week ago. Typically, he feeds once a month, so the blood lust he just quenched is strange. Could it be because of his new concubine? Her scent is oddly alluring to him, and his attraction to her is undeniable. He hasnât ever experienced such a thing, but maybe one of the elders knows something more.Â
đ„đ„đ„Taelaniđ„đ„đ„
Confused. Thatâs how you feel as you are led away from the king, his eyes regarding you cooly before you disappear into the quiet halls of the palace. Your slippers and the silks you wear are the only sounds you hear as you are shown the pathway to your quarters, and then the low hum of the maids' voices as they help you undress and prepare for bed.Â
The next week continues much the same as your first night in the castle. The other court members are seemingly always busy, leaving you bored and unsure of yourself. On the one hand, you are happy that you havenât been called upon like you were warned would happenâlike youâve been trained for. Your womanhood remains intact, something you did not expect to happen, but it allows your time of the month to come and go without any issues.Â
A part of you did fear that your menstrual cycle would agitate the new king should he come upon you that first night, but instead, he had shied away, allowing you time to spend in the royal library reading and writing letters to your sisters. At the end of the first week, you squeal with happiness when a courtier brings you a sealed parchment marked with your familyâs crest.Â
Dearest Taelani,Â
How have you been? We are so pleased that youâve had time to write to us. Is it nice there? I so wish we could have joined you on the trip, but Father said no. Are the rumors true? Is the king as bloodthirsty as his predecessors? Is there war on the horizon? Will you be able to throw a fancy ball so we can visit? I know youâre his only concubine right now, do you think you will become his wife? Father is not telling us much, and heâs making it seem like we shall never get to travel to see you.Â
Donât forget us!
As if you could ever forget your sisters. And a ball sounds like a lovely ideaâŠreally. You wonder if the king would allow you to do such a thing and if your father would allow your sisters to come. Maybe if the king demanded their presence. Your sister made a good point that right now, thereâs no one else to compete with for his affections. If you can charm him, is there a possibility..? If only he would see you or talk to you. How else could you convince him of this one favor, or even that youâre worthy of a more legitimate role?Â
It couldnât be so easy as to show up at his bedchamber tonight and try and convince him with a well-placed massage? Could it?
Deciding to reign in all of your thoughts, you hold off on writing back so as to see first if you could plan a soiree of some sort, and turn back to the book you were reading before the courtier arrived. It was not written all that long ago, but it details some of the more recent history of the country, including the kingâs grandfather.Â
You had always thought it to be an urban legend, the stories whispered in the dark about when his grandfather was in power, but as you read through the history of the family, you realize with each story of the kingâs grandfather that he truly was blood thirsty for powerâhe apparently murdered all of his older siblings for the throne.Â
There is a massive family plot to the south of the palace that holds his deceased siblings, and ever since, despite the number of enemies the crown has acquired over the years, his family line has been the only one to rule. Every attempt to maim and murder the royal family has been thwarted, and the groups leading the coups are never to be seen or heard from again. Bloodthirsty isnât even half of it.Â
Closing the handwritten tome, you gather your skirts about you so that you can climb off the comfortable lounging spot. You have spent all week reading through to try and understand this family that you now reside with, but all you seem to find is death and despair. Through the window you can see the sun is setting, and now that you have a plan in mind, you decide to seek out the king instead of waiting for him to come to you. With your cycle gone, you feel confident enough to seduce King Namjoon. As his first concubine, you are sure you wonât be the last, but you want to make an impression.Â
As a woman in this world, your power is lacking. The power you do hold will be in the sons you can bear for the king, and in the ability to wield your feminine wiles to seduce and keep the king wrapped around your finger. Best to start now.Â
đ„
The palace corridors are well-lit as you traverse the pathway towards the kingâs chambers. You made a quick stop at your own rooms, shedding the hairpins that bound your hair tightly, allowing your tresses to fall in subtle waves from the earlier styling. You also shed some of the layers you typically wear, allowing you to show off more of your curves.Â
There doesnât appear to be anyone outside the door to his room, so you slip in easily, taking a look around. The room is tidy, with barely anything on display on the walls or in cabinets to show his personality. Cold, just like he was the first time you met. A few minutes pass as you observe what you can, until voices outside the door alert you to the kingâs approach. You position yourself on his bed, sitting at the edge with a leg crossed over the other and your palms behind you as you lean back slightly.Â
Your loose hair is over one shoulder, and you attempt to flutter your eyes demurely as King Namjoon steps into his bedchamber.Â
đ„Â
Ten minutes later, you stand in your own room again, confused by what had occurred. The King, a young, virile man, sent you out after you all but threw yourself at him. If anything, he seemed in a rush to get you out of his rooms, all but promising that you had nothing to worry about when you voiced not carrying out your duties.Â
âI know you worry about your standing in the palace, but you have nothing to fear. I will not be taking in any other womenâyou are the only one for me. You will be my Queen Consort. So please, you donât have to stoop to these levels. You are excused.â
You definitely hadnât prepared what to do in the event that the King said you didnât need to seduce him and that you would be his Queen Consort. All of the stories the women told you about had prepared you for losing your virginity and other sexual acts to seduce the King and win his favor. Nothing they shared with you implied you wouldnât have to do anything sexually with the man and he would raise your status one step, though a large one in the eyes of the nation. A wedding already in the works, unbeknownst to you. How strange this new king is.Â
đ„
The royal wedding that everyone has been waiting for a month to arrive is nearly here, with you in your red gowns of silks and satin, awaiting your cue for the ceremony. As much as youâve enjoyed not having to behave wantonly, a part of you is drawn to your betrothed, and you realize: you want to. His movements as he walks through the palace, the grace with which he moves and speaks, all of these small things seem to thrum through your body, lighting all of your nerve endings on fire.Â
Why he denies himself the access he has to your body, you arenât sure, but you hope that this wedding means that will come to an end. Maybe heâs just been waiting for tonight to consummate the marriage, instead of behaving how you were warned all men with power behave.Â
Everything is a blur as the hours pass, the sun crossing the sky until it descends below the horizon, allowing the moon to rise into its rightful place. With all of the revelers now sated in thirst or hunger or desire, theyâre all sequestered away in the places that allow them to unwind. Most of the palace is now quiet, and you tiptoe with feather-light steps across the bedchamber towards your newly betrothed.Â
The King sits at an ornamental desk, metallic paints wrapping around the curves of the furniture as he leans over and writes, the scratches of the quill on the parchment revealing the short strokes he writes in Hangul. Heâs shirtless, wide shoulders unblemished and you want nothing more than to mar the skin with signs of pleasure. Â
Your fingers lift to lightly trace along his right shoulder, but before you can touch him, his left hand grasps your fingers as he half turns to face you. You let out a small gasp in surpriseâyou didnât think he would have heard you sneak up on him.
âPerhaps you should head to bed, Taelani, it was a long day.â
He barely looks at you as he speaks, and you feel yourself wilting. Itâs fascinating, but deeply disturbing to you that it seems like heâs attracted to you but keeps turning you away. Everything youâve been told about men is wrong. You want him to have his way with you, and he canât be bothered to even stop drafting a letter to look at you for more than a second.Â
You feel yourself pouting, and it seems to work for a moment. Namjoonâs eyes soften, and he tugs you closer when you attempt to pull your hand out of his.Â
âI know this is not the most normal of situations, but I wonât stop you from seeking out your needs. You can take up with anyone as long as it is discreet, and any children you should bear will all be raised as if they are my own.â You freeze as he releases his hold on you and turns away, back to his missive.
You step away from him, trekking backward until the backs of your thighs touch the silk sheets on the bed. Embarrassment heats your neck and cheeks, because you do not understand why your husband turns away from you. It makes you feelâŠunwanted. Sitting down, you can only blink as you attempt to understand the man before you. But nothing thus far has made any sense.  Â
đ„
The movement of the bed slowly wakes you, and you stretch your limbs out as your eyes blearily try to take in the low lighting in the room.Â
â...need the Huwon guards as soon as possible, I will meet them there.â
You stay still when you hear his voice, your brain instantly becoming more alert as you try to hear more of his request, but it only grows quiet again as the door shuts. You can barely hear his footfalls as he flits about the room, and you sneak a peek through cracked eyes as you keep your breathing level. Heâs grabbing his upper garments and re-dressing, and in only a few more moments, heâs slipping out of the door.
You get up, immediately grabbing for your robes as you slip from the satin sheets to follow your new husband.
You stay as far back as you can, drifting between shadows as you make your way towards what you now know is the Huwon Secret Garden. While the garden grounds themselves take up a large expanse of the palace area, there is a beautiful and intimate pagoda of sorts that lies in the rear after crossing a small bridge with a tiny waterfall. You lose sight of Namjoon, but you know he must be headed there, so you continue on your way, avoiding the minimal guard presence.Â
Approaching the enclosed garden pergola, a gasping moan sounds and you quicken your steps, evermore the curious. Peering through one of the open slats of the enclosure, you see your kingâyour husbandâwith his arms wrapped around another woman. His mouth is to her neck as she straddles him, and though her face is hidden between the shadows and behind his bulky build, you know you heard the pleasure she felt. When he pulls back from her, you watch, entranced, as he laves his tongue along the skin heâs just marked. A burning jealousy shoots through your veins until a cloud moves out of the moonlight and a beam shines straight through.Â
Your eyes widen as they take in the elongated fangs, the blood dripping from the corners of his mouth, and the way the woman now lay limply in his arms. Spinning on your heel, you flee back to your room, praying that your pounding heart calms enough before he returns.
đ„đ„đ„Namjoonđ„đ„đ„
Itâs almost debilitating to Namjoon having his new wife around him. Itâs been only a weekâone mere week of his eternal lifeâand you have made him into a ravenous, salacious blood fiend. This lust for the iron-smelling essence that runs through mortal veins, and one in particular more so than the others, means that he hasnât been handling all of the new changes to his life well.Â
Going from the shadows and becoming the face of the nation he loves so much, that his whole family has given their lives for, is not exactly what he expected. He is much more used to using violence with his bare handsâand teethâfor their gain. Having to navigate politics with his wifeâs father, Chief State Councillor Jeong Dojeon, is a whole new experience for him.
Not to mention that heâs insatiably drawn to his titillating wife, but knowing that her father is actively working against the reigning family has Namjoonâs guard up. The way she keeps trying to throw herself at him⊠Admittedly, he knows heâs spied on her letters and conversations, and she seems none the wiser to what her father is doing, but too much is at stake for him to risk it without knowing where she stands for sure.
Namjoon stretches his arms above his shirtless torso, then sets down the quill to mull over the letter he needs to finish and send to the front lines of their war efforts against the rival faction. Theyâve quieted down some, ever since their attack on the true prince which led to an almost absolute destruction of said rival faction, but money will unite anyone against a common enemy if paid enough.Â
His ears perk up as he takes in the thrumming melody of your heartbeat as you move around the adjacent bathing room to your communal bedchamber. Itâs late, much later than a person would typically bathe, and without the aid of maids, but heâs in no hurry to overwhelm his senses with you. He focuses on the sounds; of the water draining from the side of the palace, of the soft garments sliding along your skin as you dress, and he tensesâreadying himself for your scent to overtake him as he turns and stands to face your re-entrance into the room.
Beautiful. Your large eyes are bright, warm even, and the way your body gracefully moves in thatâhe forcefully exhales as you approach him in an ornately sewn, semi-transparent lace robe. The vision of your full breasts with lace flowing over the peaks stuns him momentarily, and he allows himself a moment to drink you in. Heâs so focused on trailing his eyes along the cupidâs bow of your full top lip that he doesnât realize youâve spoken to him.
âIâm sorry, I didnât quite catch what you said.â
âOh,â you look down demurely, taking him by surprise. âMy king, please. I would like just a moment of your time.â
âOf course,â Namjoon replies, but hesitates as he sits back down, unsure of what could have triggered such a formal conversation. Though, to be fair, he knows he hasnât been the best conversationalist with his own wife.
He watches as you pull a small, stuffed stool closer to him and sit on it regally. The robe parts with the movement and heâs able to see that only a thin sliver of fabric covers your mound. Everything else is revealed to him. Your navel, your thighs, so much skinâŠÂ
âI know that youâve given me permission to seek out other men, but IâI donât want that.âÂ
Namjoon is still as he reigns in his impure thoughts and focuses all of his attention on you. âWhat is it that you want?â
âI want my husband. Iâdonât you also feelâI justâŠâ you sigh, and the weight of your next words would bring Namjoon to his knees had he not been sitting. âI know who you are. And I donât care. Iââ
Namjoon stands to his full height, eyes slightly narrowed at your small frame.Â
âYou know who I am?â he questions with disdain. Of course, you were too good to be true and exactly what he expected of your father.Â
âYes, you may be the king, but more than that, youâre my husband.âÂ
Namjoon pauses, listening on, but can see how tense you remain to continue speaking. âAnd what exactly donât you care about?â He questions.
âI donât care that youâre aâa vampire,â you rush out and continue speaking. âSo please, donât hold yourself back from me, I donât want you to seek out your pleasure from others in the castle when Iâm right here.â
His brain reels with an overwhelming amount of thoughts as you look up at him from where you sit, shoulders tight and lifted towards your ears as your chest rises and falls rapidly with each breath you take as you wait for him to speak.
You know heâs a vampire. How, he isnât sure, because he knows that your father is not aware of that fact. No, he only assumed that your father had figured out that he was not the true prince, and instead a cousin filling in for the role, and shared this information with you. Nope, you meant you knew that he was immortal and knew of his late-night proclivities. He slowly lowers himself into the chair he vacated, wholly unprepared when you throw yourself forward onto your knees before him.
âPlease, Iâm right here. I only want you to touch me. No one else.â
Unable to resist, Namjoon does touch you, reaching beneath your arms to lift you to him. Even while standing, your eyes are only a few inches above him as he sits, and you step between his parted legs when he gently tugs you further into his space.
âI didnât realize that my words made you feel unwanted.â Namjoon speaks slowly as he gathers his thoughts to organize his words. âIâm unsure how you came about this information, but I.. th-thereâs some things we should clear up.â   Â
Your eyes appear to study him intently, brows inching closer as your face wrinkles with apprehension. The flooding of your veins as your heart rate increases leads Namjoon to pause and hold his breath before speaking.
âThere is a reason that I have been so distant, and yet have only sought out to take one wife and no others. It came to my attention that your father has been one of the main financial supporters of a rival political party that supports more control from Chief Councilors and less from me. This money helped supply weapons and mercenaries, and there was anâŠattempt on my life recently. It was nearly successful at bringing down this clanâs reign and ending our family line.â
You gasp as he reveals this partial truth, and say, âI swear to you, my king, I knew not of such plans, I know my father has ambitions and a dislike for the lack of his power due to the crown, but not that he would steep to such levels for gain.â Namjoon can feel the way your pulse reacts as he holds your wrists in his large hands. You truly were not aware, and this knowledge helps quell any lingering doubts he has about sharing more information with you.Â
âI believe that you had no knowledge of his plans or his financial support. But, because of that event, it is what led me to say yes to you as my concubine. You see, I felt that by having his daughter in the palace and by my side, that he would pull back his support of any rivals, and even decide to stop pushing for less control, especially since any heir would be his own grandchild to be on the throne.â Namjoon knows this last part is a lie, since he could not provide you with any children and the plan that is in place would not allow any child of yours to be on the throne, but he canât tell you that.Â
You nod, eyes rapt with attention as they pour over his face, gleaning any additional information you can.Â
âMy king, I do not support my father in his ventures. I promise you, IâŠhe has never been much of a father to me. More like a tyrant or likeâŠlike he believes that my life does not matter more than what I am able to provide for him. You have saved me from him in so many ways, and I just want to show you my gratitude. I want you to feel my appreciation.âÂ
Your tone holds not an ounce of seductive undertones as you continue, âI care not that you are a vampire, Iââ he allows you to pull free from his hold, turning your hands so that your palms lay on the outsides of his and you guide them carefully through the opening of your robes to your bare bosom, cupping his hands around your full chest. âI ache for you, Namjoon. I have never felt such a desire before, have never sought out the affections of a man. In truth, Iâm terrified, but not because of what you are, but because I have never crossed this line before.âÂ
And Namjoon, still a man with carnal desires despite his blood lust, wants to be the one you cross that line with. He can feel the weight of your breasts as you move closer, stepping in such a way so that you can straddle himâwhich you do moments later. He feels his hands tighten around your chest without your fingers leading the motion, and the tiny, breathy moan that you release brushes against his lips from your proximity.Â
Heâs hardening, lengthening; his cock pressing against your clothed heat and his fangs inching from his parted lips, both aching to open you up for him. And just as the circling press of your pert nipples to the pads of his thumbs begins, you cover his mouth with yours, moaning for his ears only as you lean into his touch at all junctions where your body touches his.
Itâs intoxicating; your scent wraps around him and the feel of your blood thrumming within your body as you tremble from the pure lust that seems to ooze from your pores as you, you! devour his lips with no care of his fangs. Your tongue is tentative, but curiousâseeking to glide along his and taste all of him.Â
When you pull back, he presumes to breathe since he need not this human action, his fang nicks your tongue on retreat. That one drop makes his muscles spasmâyou pull back from him faster as his touch turns painful for a moment and then you are flying, landing on the bed in a frenzy and in a blink Namjoon is pressed to the wall farthest from you, his fists clenched tightly as he holds himself back from you.Â
âThere isâŠstill much you needâŠto know and understand.â Namjoon strains to get the words out, actively fighting his thirst for his wifeâfor youâwhose blood has never been tasted by another, and whose tight cunt has never been taken by another. âPlease, walk slowly to the door and get the Huwon guardsâŠâ
âNo, please, Namjoon, I wantââ
âNow!â he roars, watching fear filter into your eyes as you spring from the bed and rush towards the door. With a speed rivaling light, he is in front of you before you can make it three steps from the bed. His predator instinct couldnât allow you to leave the room now. Grasping you under your thighs, he lifts you effortlessly, drawing his nose along your neckline.
Instantly, your fear melts away from your body, leaving you boneless as he deposits you forcefully to the bed you just vacated.
âYou will take me, and I will drink from you, and then, I will tell you everything, but I canâtâŠcanât let you go. I must have you.â  Â
đ„đ„đ„Taelaniđ„đ„đ„
The gentle husband whom you had straddled mere moments before, who had kissed you with a softness that you have never known, was no longer the man above you. Instead, a predator climbs onto the covers as you scramble backwards, but his hand grips your wrist and slides you along the silk sheets back underneath his body.
His hands box in your head, with his knees bracing either side of your hips. Your heart is pounding, and you freeze beneath him, finally understanding why he said to walk slowly.Â
~~
âGrandfather, what do I do if I encounter a bear or something of the like in the forest?â Five-year-old Taelani asks as she walks along her family grounds with her maternal grandpa.Â
âMy dear Taelani, you must never run if you encounter a large animal. Predators are wired to chase after prey. Be steadfast, like a deer or a hare. Freeze and watch first. They may not mean you any harm, but if you should run, they cannot stop themselves.âÂ
~~
Going stockstill seems to work, just as you remembered learning about as a child. Namjoon mimics this, freezing his own body and his dilated eyes close as he leans closer into you andâŠinhales.Â
âIâm sorry, but IâI need to feed.â His voice is tense, a quiet murmur that fills the silence.
âItâs okay, Iâm right here,â you say, proffering your own neck. âI know you wonât hurt me.â
âThis is notâI wanted this to be different, I donât want to hurt you. You deserveââ
ââa husband who will make love to me, and feed from only me. Because I am yours, and you are mine.â
His eyes open with a blazing, hungry stare and before you can do anything else, he descends on your lips with a fierceness. His hands move from the sheets to your robe, ripping it open to expose your dusky nipples to the chilled air. He grips the hem of the clothing preventing you from full nudity and all but destroys it as he pulls it from your body in a feral show of strength.
âMine.â His words are a low growl before his mouth is once again on yours, this time his hands now free to roam your body without clothing to hinder him. His deft hands move in symmetry to cup your breasts, giving them a supple squeeze before drifting down your hips and he moves his body lower along yours so he can hook his arms around the backs of your thighs.Â
The silks beneath you allow him to easily slip between your skin and the satin, giving him the right angle to push your legs up and bare all to him. You shiver in anticipation, feeling how wet you are by the air now meeting the heat between your thighs. You want him. The throbbing of your clit makes you want to clench your thighs together for some relief, but the way heâs holding you wonât allow it.Â
His kisses trail lower, mouth hovering over your nipple until his lengthened teeth graze the sensitive skin. Arching your back, he takes this as a sign to suck the peak into his mouth, tongue swirling as you moan. He switches sides, treating them equally before continuing lower, tongue dancing across your navel. The caress of the wet muscle has your body jumping with desire.Â
âOh!â You can hardly keep quiet when his tongue tastes you, laving flat across your open warmth before making short, quick passes along your clit. Your hands grip the sheets in desperationâfor him to stop, for him to continueâthe pleasure is overwhelming.Â
âYou tasteâŠdivine,â his voice rumbles, and you try to keep your eyes on him but squeeze them shut when his mouth returns to devour you. Sensual, plump lips kissing you, sucking you, tongue fucking youâyou writhe beneath him. His hands press you wider, keeping you open as your muscles fight against the pleasure and threaten to close around his head.
And he doesnât stop. Not until you're dripping, and the lower half of his face is glistening with you. You barely register his movements, can barely tell that heâs naked and climbing above you until heâs suddenly in your eyeline. FloatingâŠthatâs what this feeling is, like floating on a cloud, carefree. And when the blunted tip of his cock nudges at your still quivering heat, you widen your legs and welcome him, urging him to fill you.Â
And, oh! You donât expect the pressure to build as he thrusts within you, and you cry out in pain, in pleasure, in ecstasy at the fullness he brings as your walls quiver around him.Â
Your hands tighten on his shoulders as he begins to move with more gusto, continuing to keen at the feelingâall of the feelingsâand slowly the pain lessens and he glides with less stilted motion, bottoming out again and again and again.
A rhythmic chanting sounds, and it takes a few moments for you to recognize your own voice, so laced with desire and lust, pleading for him. âPlease, gods, donât stop, please!â along with a guttural reply, âI wonât,â filling the bed chamber that surely the others in the palace must be awake and able to hear. Namjoon appeases your request and his hips continue to piston fluidly, his strong thighs creating a cacophony of sounds as they meet the backs of yours.Â
An inhale, sharp and stiltingâa grunt, with hips stutteringâhis fangs piercing the tender skin at the crook of your neck as you feel the blood weeping from your vein as he drinks deeply of you. And you shatter from the ecstasy, like a fallen vase of porcelain, pieces scattering like twinkling stars across the galaxy in a vibrant bursting of flames.Â
đ„
âI amâŠolder than I look.â You lay with your head upon Namjoonâs chest, fingers dancing along the smooth, glistening skin of his chest. His voice reverberates in your head as his low timbre continues. âAnd I am not truly the Queen Motherâs son, but her relative.â
You tilt your head to look up at him.
âI died a little over 50 years ago. Many of my family within these walls are like me. Forever frozen in time. When my father was just a boy in 1390, his uncles and aunts all fell ill of the fever. One by one, they passed away, and his father, fearing death, sought out the answer to life. When all was said and done, the only one to survive the fever was my grandfatherâs youngest brother. In order to secure his place on the throne, stories spread that the youngest son killed all of his older siblings for power. In reality, my grandfather helped spread this and protected him all the while from assassination attempts.â
Looking with wide eyes at him, you almost canât believe that what he says is true. Almost.
âThis became our familyâs mission. To protect the youngest sibling's line. For all of the children born to the older siblings who did not pass from the fever, upon approaching their 30th year and after having a family if they so wished, would endure the change and live forever. We have grown in our numbers and have always worked to protect the one line that history can know about. The Queen Motherâs great-grandfather is that youngest sibling. Merely days before I took the throne, her son, the true heir, was murdered.â
With a gasp, you sit up, clutching the satin sheets to your naked breasts.
âIn order to hide that this attempt was successful, I stepped into his place and took the throne. And the Queen Mother will have another child, one who we will raise as our own and be the next successor, rightfully restoring the line to power once more.â
 âI have so many questions, I canât even begin to list them!â you pout, stifling a yawn at the late hour. You understand that you will have to raise the Queen Motherâs son as your own child so that the correct lineage remains on the throne, but what of your own children?Â
âWe have plenty of time for your questions, my love. Maybe I shall answer some of them as I tell you more?â
As Namjoon continues to regale you with his tale, spelling out exactly how your lives will be, you settle back into his body and listen intently to his deep tenor rumbling against your cheek, curling your naked body around his own, until you fall asleep.Â
đ„đ„đ„
Epilogue
Eighteen years have passed since Taelani first entered the palace as Namjoonâs concubine.Â
Eighteen years since you learned the truth about your husband and his family, and full of questions and curious for more information, had kept him up the following nights with all of your thoughts until he lay you down and forced you quiet with his lips on yours and his hands seeking other truths between your legs.Â
Now, you are a mother to twinsâat least, as far as the kingdom was concerned. Your daughter, Seojin, is truly yours and Namjoonâs, a miracle that even Namjoonâs family had not anticipated. Due to most everyone else in his family waiting until they had chosen a mate and had kids to turn, this was an unprecedented event. And Seojinâs twin brother, Jihoâthough not truly siblingsâbut instead cousins, is the answer to keeping the family line on the throne.Â
Queen Mother Sindeok had hidden away, where she bore a son and then quietly returned to the palace with you and Namjoon, cradling a secret that only your family knew. A secret that she bundled tightly for the trip back and handed into your arms a mere day before your Seojin was born. Â
By royal decree, the news of the double royal birth spread across the lands, and in short, the Queen Motherâs pregnancy had never happened. Instead, Taelani, beloved Queen Consort to King Namjoon, had given birth to twinsâa boy and a girl, heirs to a prosperous future. Together, the twins' birth was celebrated by the populace and secured the power that Namjoonâs grandfather had cultivated over the years, maintaining their hold of the throne their line refused to give up.
The birth of your twins also made sure that your father no longer tried to challenge the current rulers for power over the people. The Chief Councilor must have immediately withdrawn his money and support of the rival factions, as their attacks and their false propaganda dwindled to almost nonexistence.Â
With the belief that his grandson would take the throne, as the twin who was born minutes before his sister, your father seemed to think better of his past alliances, and instead made to be a better grandfather to them than he was a father to you, in the hopes that his name would be next to theirs in historical records as a formative familial link to the throne.Â
You still watched over his actions, even now, knowing that he may no longer hunger for the death of the emperor, but that his gusto for power and manipulation was never far from the surface. You and Namjoon had raised your children well though, teaching them to think for themselves and avoid manipulation tactics from even the most persuasive of grandparents.Â
At eighteen, Seojin showed no outward signs of her fatherâs affliction, but for a glint in her eyes that she could do more, hear more, see more, smell moreâthan her human counterparts. Her brother Jiho was smart, empathetic, and set to be a great ruler, carrying on the legacy his forefathers set before him.
It may have been a little over a decade since you joined your husband in an everlasting life, but you have never regretted that decision, not even for a moment. Standing next to him as he pens his speech for Jihoâs coronation, you absentmindedly run your fingers through his hair as you stare out at the full moon, large against the backdrop of the stars and dark clouds.Â
âMy love, come to bed,â you suggest, wanting to lay with him, to embrace him, to love him.
âOne more line and Iâll join you,â he promises with a smirk. He still looks the same, jovial eyes crescenting as his lips quirk up at you. âStrip, and Iâll make sure to keep you warm.â
His lustful gaze watches as you step backwards towards the bed, eyes staying on his face.
A few moments later, he replaces his quill and caps the ink, fingers tugging at his pants to loosen them from his waist. Your giggles carry with the evening breeze as it whistles quietly through the slats in the window, rustling the parchment Namjoon was writing on and drying the last lines he had written.Â
âAnd for our country, with Yi Jiho as emperor, this nation will finally have all we have fought for: strength, power, and a promising future.â
And for you and Namjoon, your sacrifices eighteen years ago continue the legacy of a kingdom destined to be ruled by a lineage of
eternal reign.
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Severance - BTS OT7 CEO au Chapter 16
So did anybody guess what was on the news? I thought it was rather obvious (itâs getting harder and harder to find gifs I havenât used)
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âCare to explain this Y/n,â Junmyeon says, reaching for the remote and pressing play.
You feel your world freeze, the newscasters lips moving but the thumping in your ears drowns her out. Footage after footage of your dates, the three maknaes and you at the airport, date stamped proving you played hooky, there was nothing you could say to disprove the videos, not when in every single one they steal a kiss.
Your mouth opens but nothing comes out, not even a breath goes in, youâre stuck. You donât see anything but the screen where the secret you so desperately wanted to keep was aired out for the world to witness. You donât see Jongin desperately texting Jimin under the desk, what you do see is the channel cut to a newscaster introducing the last woman you ever expected to see, the shock filling your lungs with air so fast it makes you dizzy. Your eyes sting with tears as she starts talking, was this karma? Was this the universe telling you you made the wrong choice, that you should never have fallen for them, that you were too greedy for their love. Was this the price, the consequences?Â
âI think sheâs hyperventilating,â the voice sounds muffled, your ears feel like they're full of burning cotton but at least someone has the sense to turn the screen off. Baekhyun fills your vision instead, hands on your shoulders with worried eyes on your form.Â
âCars coming to pick her up, back entrance,â you recognise it's Jongin thatâs speaking but the wordâs go over your head.Â
Someone hands you a tissue but you donât register the gesture until you hear a sigh. Chanyeol gently wipes your tears away, the stern look on his face softening when you look up at him. The sound of the phone ringing sounds so distant, like it was at the end of the tunnel. Jongin answers it before handing it to Junmyeon.
âNamjoon,â he greets through the line, the sound of his tone cutting through the fog you were drowning in. Joonie, you wanted nothing more than to be buried in his arms away from all this, but he wasnât here. Whatever he was saying though the line made your current boss stare at you with an accusation that didnât budge.
âWe need to get her out without any more commotion,â he says to the others stiffly after he cuts the call.Â
âIâll sort out the employees,â Kyungsoo states walking out.Â
The silence that follows is palpable, the lead CEO breaks it with a sigh, and you know itâs due to the aftermath he would have to deal with because of your decisions. He moves to walk past you, but you grab his sleeve before he can. You try not to flinch under his stare, your hands trembling where they hold him.Â
âIâm so sorry,â you say as sincerely as you can through a hoarse whisper. He acknowledges your words with a nod before he leaves. Youâre quickly ushered to the corridor by the others, the sight of them shielding you like your own personal bodyguards would make you chuckle on any other day, but you were still shaking like a leaf.Â
All that work, all those years of making something of yourself, all the sacrifices and it came to this. Your life exposed to the world in a way that would cause it ruin. Your future at e.xo was done, no other company would ever employ you, you could never go back to work for bangtan. Everything was gone.Â
â
âYeah weâre in the car, we got her out safe,â Seokjin says through the phone while Yoongi drives, his eyes glancing at you with worry.Â
A question Namjoon asks on the phone had Jin tensing, looking at you hesitantly. Is she okay?
âSheâs not saying anything, sheâs just shaking,â he sighs, he wanted to say more, how you were staring at the floor despondently, how when Jin tried to hold your hand to comfort you, you tensed and turned away.
The fear in their hearts that you regretted everything you had with them made Jin pull away, all he could do was be grateful they got to you before the media did, and in the tinted vehicle you were at least safe.Â
âItâs safe to go back to the mansion,â Jin tells Yoongi when he hangs up the call.
The drive is silent, they didnât know what to say, everytime they tried the words died before they could form. Security was back in full force at their estate, running out any media outlet that tried to sneak close, their lawyers were having a field day. Not to mention the commotion at the office as they walked out, the whispers conjugated together so loud, not even Namjoonâs glare could silence them.
The gates open to the estate, and Yoongi can hear his heartbeat thumping faster and faster in his ears, it felt like they were coming to an impasse and there was no going back. The car slows to a stop, and as he kills the engine all they can do is stare at you.
Move. You had to move.
You could hear a faint commotion outside, the three maknaes running towards the car but a stern look from Yoongi stopped them in their tracks. Worry, anticipation, anxiety, no one knew exactly what concoction of emotions paralysed them, what made them hesitate to reach out to you.
âKitten,â Yoongi starts softly, âyou need to talk to us.â
That made you move, the door opening without a word in return. Your legs work against you, feeling like lead on twigs, a second away from collapsing. You couldnât speak right now, your whole body felt empty and yet the weight of thoughts in your head made you need to bury it. You wanted your bed, you wanted to hide, and you wanted to be alone.Â
Yoongi shares a look with Jin, the hurt flashing between both of them at your rejection but they try not to take it to heart. You never wanted your relationship with them made public, not yet at least, you werenât ready for the backlash, but now the choice was taken from you in the most heinous way.Â
âNoona,â Jungkook calls for you gently, a sadness in his eyes at the way you were walking with your head hanging low. Jimin holds him back, understanding better than anyone how you were feeling. He used to do the same, when something went wrong, when he made a mistake, he cut himself off from everyone, it would be a mistake to approach you until you were ready, until the voices in your head either broke you or quietened down.Â
The steps to the front door took so much energy from you, you didnât think you had any left. You could feel them walking behind you at a distance, and yet it didnât feel far enough or close enough. Something inside of you was tearing its way out and you didnât know if you wanted to be embraced through it or to suffer it alone the way you had before so many times.Â
âY/n,â Namjoon didnât get the memo, he tries to embrace you but feels you stiffen against him, letting go immediately to look at your face with worry. âBaby girl, we'll fix this, okay? We-â
You push him away and he looks at you in shock, you didnât want to hear it right now, you were barely holding yourself together. Voices were pounding inside of your head, the same repeated phrases over and over about how all your work was ruined, it was all for nothing, all your dreams, all your efforts. You couldnât handle anything right now, you just needed your bed and to cry yourself to sleep alone.Â
âY/n talk to me,â Namjoon says sternly, brows knitted at the way you didnât even look at him.Â
He blocks your path when you try to walk past him, why didnât he understand what you needed right now? You hear him sigh, as if his patience with you was wearing thin.Â
âBaby girl, you always do this,â he says, holding onto your shoulders to ground you, to keep you from leaving him. âYou shut yourself down, you punish yourself, you push us away and then you break.â
âYou canât do that anymore sunshine,â Hoseok says standing beside you. âWeâre in a relationship, weâre in this together, your pain is our pain Y/n.â
They watch you shake your head, bowing your head down so low as they hear the telltale sniffle that turns into a violent sob. Namjoon is quick to catch you in his arms, hushing your softly, stroking your hair until you calmed. All the while guilt ate him up, this was his fault, he could see it in all of their eyes as they watched you fall apart.Â
â
The house was solemn and quiet, you had retreated upstairs to your room, Jimin staying beside you while you slept.Â
âWe underestimated that bitch,â Yoongi breaks the silence with what they were all thinking. Theyâre all scattered around the living room, Jungkook sitting deep in thought on the headrest of the sofa, Yoongi on the seat beside him. Namjoon sat opposite them with Hoseok on the armrest, Jin pacing the room slowly while Taehyung sat on the floor with his face in his hands. The black face of the TV on the wall stared at them, taunting them with what it held inside. The face broadcasted alongside yours and theirs was one that they barely remembered, but she had the audacity to be interviewed by any news outlet desperate enough for a story. They didnât want to turn on the TV and see her face.Â
âShe signed an NDA,â Namjoon says, a headache forming, âwe didnât think she was going to be a problem.â
âThatâs where arrogance gets us,â Jin scoffs.
âFlower worked so hard for so long,â Taehyung says quietly, mourning for you. They all knew it better than anyone.Â
âWeâll fix this,â Namjoon states, he wouldnât rest until they did.Â
âNamjoon be real for a second,â Hoseok sighs, âwe might not be able to fix it.â
âNo company is going to take her without an agenda,â Jungkook pipes in stoically.
âOr without thinking sheâs a corporate spy,â Jin agrees.Â
âWe canât control everyone and everything,â Hoseok finishes, patting the lead CEO on the shoulder sympathetically.Â
âAnd we definitely canât ignore a problem away,â Yoongi scoffs, staring daggers into Namjoon.Â
âLetâs not start this now,â Jin warns, feeling Namjoonâs guilt from a mile away.
âWhat does he mean?â Jungkook asks, feeling confused.Â
âNamjoonâs been burning threats concerning us,â Yoongi continues accusatively.Â
âWe never opened those letters,â Namjoon argues back, âwe donât know what they contained.â
âWell we know now,â Yoongi says mockingly. He hated when you were upset, the feeling made his own claws unsheath, ready to tear into anyone who was held responsible.Â
âWe donât know the two things are connected,â Hoseok tries to defend their lead.Â
âDonât be stupid Hobi,â Yoongi seethes, âKittenâs whole career has gone down the drain because of us, what the fuck is she going to do if she finds out?â
âYou best hope she doesnât,â Taehyung snapped, his earlier melancholy now fueled by fear.Â
âWe canât keep this from her,â Hoseok shakes his head, disregarding the point.
âSheâll hate us,â Jungkook states, terrified it would manifest before his eyes soon.Â
âSheâll be angry at us,â Jin corrects him, âbut we have to tell her.â
âNot now, itâs too soon,â Namjoon says quickly, his own fear warping his judgement.
âYou shouldâve opened one fucking letter,â Yoongi canât let it go, all of this couldâve been avoided if it wasnât for Namjoonâs stupid stubbornness.Â
âWhat good is bringing that up now going to do?â Hoseok sighs again.Â
âWe donât know if itâs connected!â Namjoon yells exasperated. âWhat we do know is Shin Suran leaked the photos and the story, and she is going to fucking pay.â
â
âSo youâre saying the CEOs fired you because you threatened to expose their relationship to HR?â Solar, the newscaster asks her aghast.Â
âHonestly, I didnât want to expose their⊠relationship,â she canât hide the disgust in her voice at the word, âbut I was concerned for Y/nâs wellbeing, I thought maybe they were holding her job over her head until I found out she was only entertaining them to climb the corporate ladder.â
Both anchors were shocked, the information sending them reeling.
âI mean what self respecting young woman would sell herself like that? Y/n was never a team player, or very good at her job but somehow she was always favoured by the CEOâs. It should have been obvious really.â
âWow, thatâs a lot of information to unpack Suran,â Solar says. âArenât you scared of the repercussions, these are the worldâs business leads youâre going up against.â
âI only want to convey the truth,â Suran lies through her teeth. âIt isnât fair that the women who have worked hard and devoted themselves to Bangtan corporations are not appreciated or given the opportunities they deserve.â
âBut Miss L/n left bangtan corporations,â the other anchor Hwasa finally speaks after having watched the little snake for so long. Something didnât sit right with her and this womanâs sickly sweet attitude, it stank of deceit and she wasnât blind to it.Â
âI have it on good information that she was sent to spy on the competition,â Suranâs eyes narrow, not liking her tone of voice.Â
âThatâs a wild allegation,â Hwasa replies, every bit the professional. âI hope you have the evidence to back it up.â
â
âBangtan corporations are under serious investigation after allegations of corporate espionage came from their former employeeâŠâ
She smiles at the screen plating in front of her, the chaos unravelling in so many wonderful ways. The Sun was shining despite the winter air, how many interviews could she fit into one day? Many it seemed, and while the day was over there was always tomorrow to cause more havoc to your life. Now she would sit and bask in the TV light, watching all of her fire ignite.Â
She had only gotten cosy when the doorbell rang to her little flat, groaning as she went to the door to answer it.
âShin Suran?â
The three piece suit should give away something serious was in the brown paper envelope in his hands but she couldnât bring herself to show any respect to the figure. She sneered and rolled her eyes, this man mightâve looked intimidating but she was currently on a high from ruining your life, nothing was going to bring her power trip down.
âWi HaJoon,â he continues in the absence of a greeting, handing her the envelope. âYouâve been served.â
âWhat?â That elicits a reaction out of her, for some reason she didnât even contemplate there would be consequences for her actions, deluded into thinking she was untouchable.
âYouâre being sued for stalking, defamation and breaking the nondisclosure agreement you signed.â
That wasnât part of her plan, her jaw drops to the ground and she realises maybe she played her cards all wrong. In the violent web of wanting to destroy your life she didnât realise all her defences were gone. Maybe he was right after all.
â
When you wake up, the sun begins to set and Jiminâs warmth engulfs you. The feeling is comforting but fleeting, unfortunately real life problems donât fade just because youâre in his arms. You wanted to bury yourself in his hold, have him take everything away until you were ready to deal with it. Jungkookâs favourite grey sweatshirt swallows you whole, his smell calming your senses, you try to focus on it when your mind tries to swim through the thoughts that wanted you to drown.Â
The door creaks open, two figures cautiously peaking in whispering to themselves. When Tae notices youâre awake he takes a seat beside you, caressing your cheek in his palm gently, his thumb soothing your skin. His eyes are downtrodden.
Jungkook kneels on the floor next to you, taking your hand in his and covering it with hard kisses, resting his cheek where they intertwined.
You try to get up but Jimin beside you grumbles in discontent, shuffling closer mumbling something under his breath without opening his eyes. A chaste kiss to your shoulder where the fabric hangs off your skin, lets you know heâs awake but refusing to let you go. The gesture brings a small but genuine smile to your face, one that turns into confusion as the commotion downstairs gets louder.
The younger two give each other knowing glances, one you donât miss.
âWhatâs going on?â You ask, voice still hoarse from crying.
The hesitation in both of them fills you with dread. Did something else happen?Â
âTheyâre just trying to sort things out bunny,â Jungkook tries to reassure you, âitâs nothing to worry about.â
Despite Taehyung not wanting you to find out, something sickened him at the idea of keeping secrets from you. He knew how the truth always found its way out, and he knew if you didnât hear it from them, it would have worse repercussions.Â
âTae?â you could see a storm in his eyes, a battle between the loyalty to the others and his love for you.Â
âThe hyungsâŠâ he hesitates, Jimin now fully awake and sitting up at his deep uncertain tone.Â
Jungkook looks at him imploring him not to say it yet, it was going to be too much to deal with so soon after this morning. You grab Jiminâs arm, pulling yourself up closer to Taehyung who now avoided your gaze.
âGuys whatâs going on?â
âIâve been here with you,â Jimin mumbles half asleep, his hair a soft mess on his head.Â
âKookie?â you turn to the youngest who bites his lips nervously, doe eyes begging you not to ask him.Â
âYouâre worrying me,â your nerves were shot, the trauma from this morning making you beyond paranoid. What could be worse than this morning, what werenât they telling you.Â
âJimin, Jungkook and I didnât know,â Taehyung starts slowly, not wanting to put his hyungâs under the bus but he wasnât going to let them shoulder the blame when they were innocent. Plus when this was over he had a feeling you would ostracise the older four for a while, he couldnât handle being a part of that.Â
âDidnât know what?â you ask tentatively, urging him to continue.
âI still donât know,â Jimin grumbles, getting annoyed with the suspense.Â
âNamjoon Hyung has been getting letters,â Jungkook says when Taehyung pauses for too long. He sighs, cursing the hyungâs for keeping this from you when he knew the betrayal would crush you.Â
âWhat letters?âÂ
Something ticks in Jiminâs brain, his sleep filled eyes going wide with realisation. The other day in the office, when the hyungâs went solemn, it was to do with that?
âWe thinkâŠâ Taehyung tries not to stumble over his words, âthey were threats, about you or us, but we donât know becauseâŠâ
Threats? Youâre sent reeling, did Namjoon know this was coming? And he did nothing to warn you, or confide in you?
âBecause what?â you breathe, your voice heavy, eyes watering as your thoughts ran away from you. Jimin places an arm around your shoulders, trying to soothe you.
âHe burned the letters before he opened them,â Jungkook finishes, feeling a deep rooted shame for his favourite hyung, and for selling him out.Â
âAngelâŠâ
Jimin calls after you as you throw the covers off of you, storming downstairs to confront the men hiding things from you.Â
âSunshine-â
âYouâve been getting threats and you didnât tell me?âÂ
They startle at your accusation, as right as it was, the four of them confounded until the younger three stumble in behind you. All four hyungs glance at them disgruntled and disappointed, this was not the way to handle things, the thought was hypocritical but justified in their minds.Â
âYou didnât tell me?â Your teary eyes pierce Yoongi with so much sadness, of all of them you never expected him to keep it from you, and for some reason it stung the worst.
âKitten,â he tries reaching out to you, a vulnerable edge to his voice. He would let you scratch and claw at him until you were satisfied, anything to keep you from looking at him like that again.Â
âBabygirl itâs my fault,â Namjoon sighs, taking the edge of his hyung and shouldering all the blame. âI told them not to.â
You turn back to him with anger in your eyes.
âNamjoon youâre the lead at work but that doesnât make you the lead in this relationship,â you snap. âYou had no right to keep this from me!â
âI know,â he says, his voice small.
âHow long have you been getting these letters?â You ask and he hangs his head in shame.Â
âMonthsâŠâ he replies, âsince you left the company.â
You stare at him appalled and it wounds him.
âYou have the gall to tell me how to behave in this relationship Kim Namjoon,â Your voice is strained through the onslaught of angry tears. âAnd you keep this from me?â
âI didnât know what the letters said,â he says as an excuse, and he knows itâs a feeble one.Â
You shake your head in disbelief.
âI thought you of all people would get it Joonie,â the way your voice breaks cuts through him with shame. âYou built everything from the ground up, I admired you long before I loved you. So how the hell could you play with my future like this?â
âBaby girl that was never my intention,â he begs you to understand him now, that he didnât behave nonchalant with a potential threat, he thought he was doing what was best.Â
âIt doesnât matter what your intention was! There was a clear right and wrong, and you know it.â
He bows his head again, you were right, he disrespected you when he didnât discuss the letters with you, you shouldâve made the decision together as to what to do with them. But in his heart he thought he was protecting you, protecting your peace and happiness, but all of that was a bubble set to burst.
âWe donât know that itâs connected beautiful,â Jin steps in between you, speaking as softly as he can knowing you were full of rage and sorrow, but he watched Namjoon take the blow and needed to shield him a little.Â
âWe donât know that itâs not,â you argued back. âWe have no way of knowing, because instead of talking to me about something unpleasant, you guys decided to bury it.â
âSunshine, I get that youâre upset-â Hoseok tries but the look of incredulous shock shuts him up.
âUpset?â you repeat, the strain in your voice carrying tears. âEverything I worked for, all my dreams, are gone.âÂ
It was a struggle to get out every word, having to take a breath between each one, but you were determined to.Â
âNo company is going to employ me, even if they do Iâll be subjugated to whispers and isolation and we know how that worked out last time.â
You sniffle, wiping your nose and tears with your sleeve. You wanted to appear strong but you were breaking down, didnât they understand what they had done? Didnât they care? Or were they so comfortable in their gold seats so far above you they forgot about their struggles on the way there?
âI didnât join your company to seduce you, I wanted to work hard and make something of myself, maybe start my own company one day, but all of that is gone.â
âKitten,â Yoongi dares himself to try again, to console you even if you pushed him away. He walks over to you, remembering all the times you seeked him out for comfort. It used to confound the others, how Mr Stoic Stone was the one that you reached for, and even though it was unusual for him to step into those shoes, with you it came so naturally. He wanted to be the one you searched for when you needed soothing, he never wanted to lose that connection he built with you, ever. He knew it was a privilege, one he never took for granted.
He hates the way you look at him now, it breaks his heart, those watering eyes showing how truly hurt you were while you tried to control the trembling of your bottom lip, tried to look strong in front of him.Â
âWhatever you think is gone, we can rebuild,â he takes your face in his hands, kissing the top of your head softly before looking into your eyes. âI am so sorry for not telling you, but I promise you whatever dreams you had will come true. It's just going to suck for a while and thatâs our fault.âÂ
âWe know better than anyone how hard you work sunshine,â Hoseok smiles at you sadly, regretting not telling you.Â
âIf you want a company babygirl, weâll get you a company,â Namjoonâs own voice thick with remorse. âWhatever you want.â
âThereâs enough space in the office for another desk,â Jimin tries to lighten the mood with a teasing lilt to his voice, but heâs not joking at all. âNo one would dare to whisper about our angel CEO.â
You shake your head, removing Yoongiâs hold on you. They didnât get it. Youâve worked for everything you had, it was how you had always been. You didnât want to be handed a title you didnât earn, or have your powerful boyfriends buy positions for you.Â
âWhy would that be such a bad idea, beautiful?â Jin asks softly. âYouâre more than capable.â
âI donât need anyone thinking I slept my way to the top,â you scoff.Â
âWho cares what other people think, Kitten?â Yoongi sighs. âNo one can deny you deserve a CEO position.â
You shake your head again, breathes of humourless laughter escaping your lips. They really didnât get it. It was so easy to say that when you were untouchable to peopleâs words.Â
âYou guys made the decision by yourselves to keep this from me,â you state, not looking at them but to the ground. âMy career has nothing to do with you, whatever happens next is my choice.â
âKitten-â
âYou donât have the right Yoongi,â you try to keep the anger out of your voice. âNone of you do right now. I need to figure this out alone.â
âAre you breaking up with us?â Jungkook asks in a panic, not moving from the doorway, he would block your exit, he would fall to his knees and beg you to stay.Â
âNo,â you reassure him with a syllable. âI love you, I always will, Iâm just angry right now.â
âAnd you have every right to be,â Namjoon agrees solemnly.Â
âI just have one last thing on my mind,â you frown, an obvious question was left unanswered.Â
You face Namjoon, knowing he would hold the answer.
âYou destroyed the letters before opening them,â itâs not a question but it sounds like one.Â
He nods, wondering where you were going with this.Â
âSo how did you know they were threats?â
He hesitates, trying to build up the courage to tell you how he knew exactly who they were from.Â
âThe return address,â Jin answers for him. âIt was from the penitentiary.â
The realisation hits you, and for some reason it makes the whole situation so much worse. The accusation in your eyes returns as you gaze at Namjoon. He knew exactly what he was dealing with when he got rid of those letters, and looking at you now he knew he would have to beg for your forgiveness.Â
â
Bonus scene flashback:
Dear Kim Namjoon,
You havenât responded to the last 6 letters I have sent, so either youâre not taking me seriously, or you havenât read a single one. Both choices are not in anyoneâs best interest, I donât think you realise the situation youâve put me in, I have nothing to lose.Â
The deadline is approaching for you to transfer the funds and secure my release. I am not spending years in jail because of your jealousy. Enclosed are copies of the images I will release to the media, I bet youâre wondering how I was able to get these when you locked me away.Â
It seems Iâm not the only one you thought you could cross and toss away. For your sake, I hope you make the right choice.
I look forward to hearing from you,
Alexander Pettyfer
âThey havenât responded to a single one of your stupid letters, what makes you think they will now?â Suran scoffs at the news that he sent another.Â
âJust be patient,â he replies, the usually clean cut male looking rugged and rough. âWe need something out of this other than just ruining their lives.â
âLook, the images I got are proof enough about what that whore is doing, I say we release them.â
âNot yet!â The rise in his voice gets the guards attention, and he takes a deep breath to calm down. Stupid woman didnât know when to listen, it was unfortunate that he had to use her, although he should count his blessings the day she came and visited for the first time with an idea to take the CEOs down.Â
#bts au#bts fanfic#bts x reader#bts angst#bts ceo!au#ceo bts#bts ceo au#bts ot7 x reader#bts ot7 au#namjoon x reader#seokjin x reader#jin x you#hoseok x reader#hobi x reader#jimin x you#taehyung x reader#jungkook x reader#bts fluff#bts scenario#bts writing#bts series
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hello , can i request a drabble wherein oc finds out that their husband politician Namjoon is having an affair with his secretary? like, oc found Namjoon was cheating when oc was watching the news and there are photos of the affair and a recorder phone call of the affair wherein the secretary was talking bad about the oc and Namjoon was just chuckling. thank u in advance âŁïž
aaaa i'm excited to write this one, thank you for sending it in!
all eyes on you (knj)
pairing: namjoon x reader
genre: angst!! husband!namjoon x wife!reader, mayoral candidate!namjoon x housewife!reader. i imagine namjoon to be older than oc.
warnings: infidelity! oc will be trashed a little ok. you have been warned. the contents of this story quite literally replicate the anon's request. please don't read it if you find the topics offensive and/or unappealing. oh u guys r gonna hate me,,
The living room was quiet, save for the soft hum of the television in the background. You weren't really watching anything in particular--- just letting the flicker of images fill the empty silence around you.
You were perpetually tired.
Your mind wandered, lost in the routine of another evening spent waiting for your husband to return home from wherever he was.
It's not just this though. Namjoon had been distant lately, buried in meetings and late-night phone calls, but you had brushed it off as just part of his life as a politician.
This was the price of being married to a man like him, or so you'd tell yourself.
It was peak campaigning period. Namjoon was running for mayor. So it wasn't out of the ordinary for him to pull all-nighters.
Yet, you couldn't help but stay up for him anyway.
Unintentionally, you switch to a news channel.
Normally, you'd prefer to stay far away from anything to do with politics, as ironic as it sounds with you being married to such an ambitious politician. But, you yearned to feel closer to him, and the news channel his (and sometimes your) name(s) frequented on was the only way for you to satisfy this urge.
You sat on your luxurious yet cold, leather sofa and zoned out, staring into space.
And, oh, what a choice that was.
âNow in. Breaking news on mayoral candidate Mr. Kim Namjoon...â
Just like that, your attention snapped back to the screen when the news anchor mentioned your husband's name. Your heart skipped a beat or two.
In only a second, a thousand thoughts crossed your mind, hundreds of scenarios where he'd hurt himself, or been hurt, maybe his opponent backed out and he was pronounced mayor right this instant, maybe his opponent was hurt, or maybe he was advocating for yet another controversial decision.
Not even close.
What followed wasnât about a new policy or a political scandal--- it was something way worse.
Photos. Of him. Your husband. Kim Namjoon. With her. His secretary. Bae Joohyun.
They werenât just working. The pictures showed them at some dinner, leaning in close, laughing in a way that made your stomach churn.
They looked too comfortable, too familiar, as if this was second nature to them.
How cliché.
It felt like the ground beneath you had cracked wide open, eager to swallow you up and wipe every trace of your existence.
It felt like time had stopped. The air around you was stagnant. You couldn't hear anything but a high-pitched ringing in your ear; until what the channel displayed next.
The screen transitioned to a recorded phone call.
You hadnât realized you were holding your breath until you heard Joohyun's voice, dripping with smugness.
âI donât know how she doesnât see it. Honestly, itâs almost pathetic,â you hear the woman sneer. âSheâs too busy playing the good housewife while youâre here with me. I mean, what does she even bring to the table? It's not like you don't have staff handling your home.â
You don't even have time to digest the attack on you because what came next completely shattered you.
Namjoon's laugh.
It wasnât just a polite chuckle, not something he gave when uncomfortable. It was genuine, full of warmth--- the laugh you used to think was reserved just for you, not against you.
âSheâs a bit clueless, isnât she?â Your husband murmured, amusement clear in his voice.
The remote slipped from your hand and hit the ten thousand dollar carpet with a dull thud.
Your mind was racing, trying to make sense of it, but nothing could explain what you had just seen and heard. All you could think was a mix of 'Namjoon' 'he hates me' 'what went wrong?' 'how could he dare to do this?' 'Joohyun was so nice to me' and 'I want to lie down.'
The man you loved, and cherished, the man you trusted, had betrayed you. And worse, he had laughed at your expense, as if you were nothing more than a convenient joke?
You can't even begin to feel the humiliation of the news being broken to you by TV emission, because your husband's betrayal had struck you so hard, all your thoughts surrounded only him.
Yet another irony; the news of his betrayal was broken to you so publicly, yet you were so, so lonely.
You can feel your cheeks and ears heating. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, but you don't cry.
Not yet. You don't know why.
Instead, you continue to sit there, numb, as the rest of the world kept spinning around you.
The hours (two hours) blurred together as you sat in silence, staring at the news segment on repeat.
There was no new information. Just the commentators discussing your life. They had managed to dig into your and Namjoon's past. Then his secretary/mistress' as well.
Yeah, she had been promoted to 'Mr. Kim's mistress.'
They discussed, and agreed with Joohyun's take on you being a lousy wife to Namjoon. How Bae Joohyun is a better fit for him. Then another counter argument stating you were 'the perfect, submissive, wife material' for Namjoon.
They went into detail about Namjoon's past relationships, then moved on to scrutinizing every single interaction he had with a woman since your marriage being made public.
Then, they brought on more guest stars on the show to react to your husband's leaked voice recordings.
You felt hollow, with every heartbeat punctuated by that same mocking laugh playing in your head.
All your devices, phones, iPads, landlines, had been vibrating and ringing non-stop. You wonder if any of those are from Namjoon.
It wasnât until the door clicked open and you heard Namjoonâs familiar, hurried footsteps that you finally snapped out of your daze. He was almost stomping the floor. Following close behind, you hear another unmistakable 'click-clack' of a pair of high heels.
Your husband stormed in, his tie slightly loosened, looking weary from another long day, along with his fucking secretary, who looks equally fatigued.
He tries to talk, â_____."
Instantly, you shoot him down, "Don't even." You stood up with false-fervour. Not wanting to hear from either of the traitors, you turn to rush to one of the guestrooms.
Before you turned, you caught Joohyun rolling her eyes, her lips pursed in annoyance.
The woman looked more irritated at being dragged into this mess than remorseful. That was the last straw.
You don't quite remember what happened next. You were suddenly so fired up. Your brows furrowed, and your tears had clouded your vision.
Without thinking, you grabbed the nearest thing--- your fluffy house slipper, and hurled it straight at the secretaryâs head pulling a stupefying gasp out of your husband.
"What the fuck?!"
note: this hurt to write kinda until i made her throw a slipper at joohyuns head :( ofc this is also kinda raw and unedited bec (you know it) lazy.
do you guys want a follow-up?? perhaps a confrontation? you'll have to be vocal abt it if you do... so talk to me u clowns đĄ
BTW i love bae joohyun, i just think she'd be a perfect villain for this story. smart, sexy, bitchy, and intimidating.
#drabble: all eyes on you#citrustan drabbles#namjoon x reader#namjoon fanfic#namjoon x oc#rm x reader#namjoon angst#namjoon fluff#namjoon drabbles#namjoon scenario#kim namjoon x reader#kim namjoon fanfic#bts angst#husband namjoon#namjoon drabble#namjoon scenarios#namjoon x you#namjoon x yn#kim namjoon x you#kim namjoon x oc#namjoon x y/n#bts x reader#rm fic#rm fanfic#bts namjoon x reader#bts rm fic#kim namjoon angst#kim namjoon x y/n#bts married au#bts cheating au
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Third Time is a Charm - KNJ (18+)
Patreon Membership Exclusive Drabble Series
Part of Bangtan Chaebol Universe
Pairing: Chaebol!Namjoon X Fem, lawyer!Reader
Theme: angst, pining, exes to strangers to lovers au.
Summary: You met Namjoon thrice in your life. For the first encounter, you were his rival. During the second one, he broke your heart. As for the third time, you let him walk in again even when he brings no promise of healing what he broke.
But they say, third time is a charm. Will that stay true in your case too?
Warnings: Angst, high school setting, competitive reader, tiny fluff, discovering crush.
A/N: This is a part of the Patreon exclusive ot7 series of Bangtan Chaebol Universe. Jungkook and Jimin's story is already completed. and Namjoon's is the next in line. This story is kind of overlapped with Jungkook's one, anyone who has followed From Within will know why.
Chapter Index: -
Part 1: The heart shaped hair pin
Part 2: Chaebol took the subway?
Part 3: The first kiss
Part 4: Recipe for a heart break
Part 5: Third time as grown ups
Part 6: [14th November, 2024]
Part 7: [21st November, 2024]
Part 8: [28th November, 2024]
Part 9: [5th December, 2024]
Part 10: [12th December, 2024]
âYour place or mine? Or better, the library?â Namjoon had questioned, staring down at you expectantly, clearly too excited to be induced into a science project.Â
While it was unlikely for the teachers to pair two good students up on the same team, it was the lottery which put you and namjoon together.Â
That is where the concept of being destined first struck you.Â
Though you had brushed it off.Â
âLibrary sounds good.â you answered.Â
Later while working on the project, he had asked you another question, something very personal this time.Â
âWhy do you think I am your enemy?â He gave you his utmost attention.Â
âI- what?â your pen scratched against the surface of the notebook crudely.Â
âYou think I am your rival or something. I know. I am asking you why?â He kept an impassive look on his face.Â
âI used to top before but I come second these days. Also.. you got it all. It kind of annoys me.â You had answered truthfully, without showing the courtesy of masking your language.Â
âI got it all?â Namjoon raised an eyebrow.Â
âYeah. You are good at studies and your family is rich.â you shrugged.Â
He had chuckled then, âJust because I am good at studies and I have a wealthy family, doesnât mean I got it all, Y/N.âÂ
It was the first time he called you by your name.Â
And that was the moment you decided to start liking him a bit - only a bit.
Read the full chapter on Patreon.
#bts angst#namjoon angst#bts smut#namjoon smut#bts x reader#namjoon x reader#bts x y/n#namjoon x y/n#bts fanfiction#namjoon fanfic#bts scenarios#bts namjoon#kim namjoon#bts
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Always, Us (Suchwita)
Min Yoongi/FemIdol!Reader Requests open!
Warnings: Established relationship, discussion of pregnancy and marriage, idol!au
Word Count: 1506 M.list
âToday on suchwita, we have someone people have wanted for a long while.â Yoongi addressed the cameras as you stood at the side, excitedly waiting for your cue. Since Yoongi started his show, fans had wanted you to make an appearance, but there was never a good enough reason for you to appear until now. You donât know if the reason fans wanted you here because they genuinely liked you, or if they just wanted to be nosey about your relationship now that it was public. Either way, you were happy to do this for Yoongi.
âItâs Y/N of the group Prima.â He stood from his seat and welcomed you with a bow, before pulling your chair out for you. You feigned shock as you sat down.
âThis is how you know cameras are around. Heâs acting like a gentleman.â
âYAH! Donât say that!â He snorted with a laugh as he sat down opposite you. âIâm always kind.â
âSure if you say so.â
âIâm sure you noticed I got your favourite alcohol here. Iâll keep it for myself if you carry on.â He smirked, gesturing to the various colourful bottles on the table.
âYou wanna play that game?â You challenged, leaning forwards with a smirk to match his own. Yoongi relented, leaning back and waving his hands with a smile.
âOk, weâre getting off topic and we havenât even started yet.â You also relaxed, but you knew you had won that round.
âAs I was aying, this is your favourite. Let me pour you a glass.â You held out your glass and thanked him as he poured.
âPeople have been curious about us since we went public right?â You asked, getting right into why you were there.
âYes.â He agreed, drinking from his own glass. âHow did it feel for you to finally be open after having to hide it for so long?â Yoongi had given you a brief run down of the kind of questions that would be asked the night before, so that you could prepare, though you didnât want to just write and memorise a script, especially when it came to your love life. You wanted your words to be as natural as possible.
âIt felt good to not have to sneak around. I know you were relieved too.â Yoongi nodded in agreement.
âIt made me feel like we were a couple of horny teenagers sneaking out at night.â He laughed.
âOh yeah youâre right! But looking back I donât know why we hid it so long. People have been shipping us since we first met pretty much.â You smiled warmly, thinking back to when you posted a picture of yourself and a young trainee Yoongi onto your groups twitter account. Yoongi wasnât well know back then, but your fans were curious about your connection to the young trainee.
âDo you remember how we met?â Yoongi asked, smoothly moving the conversation along. You didnât answer right away. You looked down as a subtle blush spread across your cheeks as you thought of the memory.
âWhy are you blushing? Donât get shy now!â Yoongi laughed as he called you out.
âShut up.â You mumbled, all in good fun.
âOk. I was late for rehearsal and I ended up barging into your guys room by accident.â You cringe at that part. â You all stared at me and I was so embarrassed, but you also offended me that day!!â Yoongi raised his eyebrows questioningly. Had he really?
âYes!â You exclaimed, making him a little nervous. âYou didnât know who I was! Even though I debuted like 2 years before that!â Yoongi sighed in relief and rolled his eyes.
âI told you before! I didnât know many current groups back then! I was too busy trying to debut myself.â
âYeah, sure.â You crossed your arms with a pout.
âWhy are you pressed about that still? It was over a decade ago!â
âThatâs not the point! Iâm your senior so you should respect me!â Yoongi choked out and exasperated laugh, before he addressed the crew.
âdo you see what I deal with on a daily basis?â
âYou see! This is what I mean.â You laughed whilst gesturing towards him. âNo respect...â Yoongi shook his head, laughing at the interaction.
âYou know, my mom keeps asking me when weâre going to give her grand kids.â You froze and internally cursed him for bringing up this topic. Itâs not like you donât want babies with him, it just never felt like the right time to try. Especially now with his military service coming up...
âI always thought weâd try after your enlistment, but we never really discussed it....â You confessed, feeling the energy of the room die slightly. You saw Yoongiâs eyes widen ever so slightly at your answer, but he covered it up by rubbing his face.
You werenât lying when you said it hadnât been talked about, so your answer definitely caught him off guard.
âWe also need to find time for a wedding.â He played it off cooly, trying to move on with a joke. You frowned to yourself. His reaction was strange. This definitely needed more investigating.
The remainder of filming flew by. Youâd managed to avoid any more awkwardness after that and put on a good show. You were fairly certain that part would be cut anyway. It may have been a little too personal to bring it up in that way in hindsight....
âSo, do you want to talk about what you said?â Both you and Yoongi were sat in his car in the parking lot. You could get a lift from the company driver, but Yoongi proffered the freedom of being able to drive himself. âAbout having kids?â He looked over to you with an expression you couldnât quite read. Looking down at your hands in your lap, you began to speak.
âI meant what I said. I want kids with you, but I ... also donât want to give up my career...â You trailed off. He sucked in a breath at your words, but stayed silent. âI just said that about your enlistment because I didnât know what else to say.â You sniffled slightly, but you were determined to not get upset. Yoongi placed a comforting hand on your thigh and leaned across the console.
âHey. You wonât loose your career. You really think Bang PD would let you go after all these years?â He spoke soothingly. No matter how hard you tried, you couldnât stop a few tears escaping your eyes.
âI know itâs stupid to think this way but-â Yoongi quickly shook his head.
âDonât talk like that. If youâre upset itâs not stupid, ok?â He had now moved his hand to the back of your neck, rubbing calming circles into your skin. You slowly looked up at him to see him giving you a reassuring smile. You were unable to stop yourself from reaching up and pulling him into a hug, or as much as you could manage with the gear box between you.
âIâm sorry I got upset.â You mumbled into his neck. He craned his neck to place a kiss on the side of your head.
âNothing to be sorry for.â You both stayed like that for a few relaxing moment as you calmed down. Pulling back, you wiped at your eyes before quickly pecking his lips.
âWe need to talk properly at some point, but right now I need you to take me home so I can stuff my face with ice cream.â Yoongi broke out into his iconic gummy smile as he stared at you.
âYou must be feeling better if you can crack jokes. Now put your seatbelt on woman.â Yoongi pulled out of the parking lot and started the journey home. You both sat in comfortable silence, only the sounds of the quiet radio played in the car. You thought back to the filming, when you suddenly remembered something he so casually said during the interview.
âSo...â He glanced at you briefly, before looking back to the road. âWhat was that about a wedding?â You smirked when he choked on his own spit and clearing his throat.
âAh yeah. That...â
âYou havenât even proposed to me.â You teased, hoping he might get a hint. Yoongi fully looked at you when he pulled up to a traffic light, smile tugging at his lips.
âDo you want me to?â
âI certainly wouldnât be oppose to the idea!â You both sent coy smiles to each other and that was that. Conversation over.â The two of you didnât need to get married to know you loved each other, but having said that...
And thus, a few weeks later, Korea woke to the news that you and Yoongi had secretly eloped and made your marriage official.
You had a lot of explaining to do to your parents, but you got out of it by promising that you would have a âproperâ ceremony at a later date. For now though, you were both content with how things were.
#bts#bts x reader#imagine#one shot#scenario#drabble#reaction#smut#angst#fluff#kim seokjin#min yoongi#jung hoseok#kim namjoon#park jimin#kim taehyung#jeon jungkook#idol!au#Request
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injustice (3)
series summary. the holy grail of the seven men who ruled the country's entertainment used to be your friends at school. now, ten years later and between successes and failures, what reason would they have to want to come back into your life? pairing. eventually ot7 x f!reader. content. first of all, english is not my first language so sorry for any mistakes! a lot of curse words, a lot of self-deprecation and low self esteem. no proofread. this is nawt silly writing, we're diving right into the aNgSt. jumpscare? iykyk a/n. hi guys! this was a rollercoaster for me to write, but i hope it doesn't come as harsh as i think it is. pls let me know what you think in the comments!! see you next week!!
series masterlist | bts masterlist | previous | next
You had gone through a scenario like that in your head several times. A variety of moments, conversations and looks that always ended in the same unpleasant, inevitable and demoralizing way: you were forgotten by the people you loved most in the world. Only when you reached 18 would you realize how heartbreaking the dull thud of the silence of indifference was, how sharp and icy the loneliness was, how it penetrated and paralyzed your bones; but at that time, at 16, you could still convince yourself that all those things were only in your head and would always be there.
âNow that you're the last to go, you guys are much more likely to forget about me.â
âOf course not! In fact, as soon as I start earning money I'll save up to take you with us.â
Jungkook shook his head, his narrowed eyes judging you as if having insecurities was a sin. You believed his words at that moment, because being the last one still with you, 'cause you were going to graduate from school in the same year, it was the only thing you could do. Hold on to the idea that you really weren't going to be forgotten, because the mere conception of a future without your best friends was inconceivable.
âJimin-hyung said he was going to try to call more often,â your friend went on, his eyes fixed on the bass on his lap and his important task of leaving it neat before returning it to its holy post in the school's music room. âI haven't talked to them in about three days.â
Jimin and Taehyung had left just a couple of months ago, but thanks to the opportunities opened to them with their incredible willingness, discipline and some string twitching on Namjoon's part, they had managed to get into a great academy to train and fulfill their dreams.
That also brought with it, as irreversible side effects, that your communication with them was drastically reduced. You had to constantly remind yourself and Jungkook that it was out of their control. With their future at stake, there was something for which they had to exert extreme effort and for which to sacrifice some other things.
âIt's normal that they don't have as much time as they used to, Kookie.â You lowered your head, noticing the way his hands delicately handled the instrument on his legs. Since Jimin and Taehyung had left there was no time of day when you could tear yourself away from Jungkook, which is why you accompanied him to his extracurricular music lessons when you really should have been studying for the college entrance exam. âLife after school gets really hectic.â
âI've heard that college life is quieter.â Jungkook twisted his lips, wiping between the strings and his fingerprints left on the bass every time he moved it back and forth to clean it. It was an almost irresistible cycle.
âThe only one at college right now is Seokjin and even about him we haven't heard much.â You leaned back against the piano, noticing Jungkook's movements pause for a moment as he surely reminisced about the few times he had been able to talk to Jin that month.
It had been two years since Seokjin had graduated and traveled all the way to the capital to study medicine. Needless to say, it was more than clear that communication with Jin would be almost nil from then on, but Jungkook always used to pout about it.
âIt's just that Jin-hyung also chose a rather demanding career.â Jungkook twisted his lips, as if suppressing Jin in his head, waving the microfiber towel over the edges of the bass.
âAnd the others are trying too hard to carve their way through. It can be as complicated as going out to look for a job right after graduating.â
Jungkook nodded, admiring his cleaning job with a frown. He looked so focused that it caught you by surprise when he spoke again.
âYou already know if you're going to college, noona? We're graduating this year.â
You blinked once, twice, three times. His nonchalant self went back to waving the towel over nonexistent smudges as you breathed in and decided not to go that route. âWill you?â
Jungkook raised his head, pausing his movements for a moment to try to analyze your gaze. With a sigh, he let out your poorly disguised way of shifting the focus of the conversation to get up and hang the instrument, glowing, on the wall of the music room.
âI don't know yet⊠Namjoon-hyung says he can help me.â
âIsn't it your dream, why do you doubt it?â
âI'm not sure, noona. What if I don't measure up? What if I fail?â
When your friend turned away, the mirror to his soul showed his vulnerability dancing on the edge of his eyelids. His distrust constricted your heart, a hand closing around your throat at the inner conflicts you knew Jungkook used to have and in the face of which you often couldn't do anything about because he didn't usually share such things.
âThen you try again.â
âNoonaâŠâ Jungkook wanted to grumble, it was obvious from the way his eyes moved to the ceiling, his head cocking as if he was about to give you a big life lesson on why you can't survive on motivational phrases.
But Jungkook was a softie about such things, even if he tried to hide it.
âJungkook, you are literally a golden promise. No process is ever easy, especially in the industry you want to get into, but don't think for a second that you're going to outgrow it. You're one of the most capable people I've ever met.â
Your friend stopped his steps, when after hanging up the bass he was returning to your post in front of you, raising his head as if caught committing a prank. But the vulnerability in his eyes remained, and by the way they shone in the dim light of the room, still blinking to try to contain the emotion, you knew your words had tugged at just that thorn in his heart you were trying to pull out.
âThank you, noona.â
âI'm just telling the truth.â You lifted a shoulder, shaking your head nonchalantly like it was no big deal, and Jungkook just let out an amused chuckle.
âYou do know we'd never forget about you, right? How could we?â
-
âHow could we?â
Yuna shook her head, frowning at her phone, oblivious to the way you cringed at her choice of words.
âShe's bringing celebrities into the store and she want us to leave? Don't we work so well that we always take the top employee of the month spot even though it should only be held by one person? Don't we deserve that gift?â
You watched her, marveling at how after just a few seconds so many emotions could build up into an overwhelming knot in your chest. The old notes of an old piano played in the back of your head, bringing to the surface memories of when life was easier; when you thought you had it all and nothing would ever be better than that; when you thought you were enough.
âSo what do you plan to do about it?â you blinked, focusing on the notation of bills in your notebook with an invisible hand squeezing your heart.
There was no use thinking about such things after so long.
Yuna pursed her lips, her expression serious and forceful. âI think we should have a sit-in.â
âWe should? That sounds like more than one person.â
âDo you disagree with me?â
âI'm happy with going home early, especially on a Friday, you know?â
ây/n,â Yuna came up to your face over the cash register display case, her forearms resting on the glass and her eyes so bright with determination you were sure her head could light the whole store on fire the way she was scheming and scheming, running around like her life depended on it, âwe could be close to meeting the seven gods of Olympus, and you think the best thing to do is go home?â
âJust in case you forgot, I have a business to run now.â You reminded her, moving to poke her with your middle finger all over her forehead and push her away from the cash register now that a new customer had come in.
âWhat business should a business matter when you could meet the reason for existence itself?â
Yuna dropped onto the display case, her body sliding like jelly until only her head was left on the glass. You and the new customer watched her, her arms limp at her sides and her gaze lost. A lone tear running down the bridge of her nose.
âGod, you're so dramatic.â
âDoes that mean yes?â Her head snapped up like a spring, a big smile scaring the soul out of the customer who ducked behind your friend to run for their order.
âNo and stop acting like that, you're going to scare away customers.â
Yuna whined, her exaggerated tantrum leading you to wiggle your feet all the way to the cellar.
âI'm offering you the holy grail, and this is how you pay me?â
The sound of her feet shuffling behind you kept your head sane. Even though his insinuations were baseless, your heart was pounding so hard you felt your ribs throbbing through your muscles and skin.
Your boss had written to Yuna that you two could leave the store early today because she had a private meeting to attend. She asked them to leave everything to Patrick, including clearing the store of customers and not to worry about paying for the shift, because there would be no discount at the end of the month. Yuna was faithfully and blindly convinced that your boss really wanted you to stay, because she spent almost ten minutes with her eyes glued to the screen almost without blinking, watching the 'typingâŠ' appear and disappear under your boss's contact name. 'I'm sure she's debating how much confidence she has in usâŠ', she said as her red eyes missed no detail of that important chat and that primordial moment, ending in an offended 'none!' when her last message came through.
In the same way, Yuna convinced herself that the meeting that would take place in the same place where your feet were planted was going to be attended by the seven entertainment kings of the country. The unmentionables, for all practical purposes. Where had she come to that conclusion? There was no foundation. Had your boss given any hints? None. Yuna had her head in the clouds believing she could meet her idols if she insisted a little longer.
âWould you really prefer to stand your friend up to meet seven men you don't even know for sure will show up here?â
âWellâŠif you put it that way it sounds like I'm doing something wrong.â
âMmm, you just figured that out?â
Yuna dropped her shoulders as you took off your apron. Her tactics weren't going to work and it was time to give up. She half-heartedly opened her locker and stood looking at you with puppy dog eyes. You felt as guilty as if you had stepped on her tail by accident.
âLook, if I'm being honest, I doubt gigantically that Sol will tell you that you can stay if you ask her.â
âNot even for everything we've been through together?â
âShe's still our boss, Yuna.â
Your friend mimicked your actions with a slower speed, her emotion draining away little by little. When her head cocked to the side, halfway through taking off her apron, you only sighed.
âThe worst that can happen is I get fired, right?â
You weren't surprised that she was nevertheless willing to cross that line.
âThat doesn't sound like much to you?â
âI can always write her a 'ha, ha, just joking' afterwards and get out of harm's way.â
You didn't contain the irresistible urge to roll your eyes and Yuna took that as her own signal or green light. Next thing you knew she was pulling out her phone and typing animatedly on the screen.
âI really don't think you should do that.â
âI have to try! Can I call myself a good fan if I don't do even the impossible?â
âYou don't even know if they'll come.â
âI have a hunch.â
With her hand over her heart, Yuna sent the message and you feared for her life. While Sol was not at all close to the idea and conceptualization of a crazy and ruthlessly demanding boss, she did draw the line at several specific situations that they had both learned to respect. One of those was, of course, private meetings at her place. You and Yuna had set up the place countless times for Sol to sit quietly and chat with her most famous acquaintances, because her office was too formal to deal with them there, but her own home was extremely informal for the same purpose. The cafeteria served as a middle ground, the perfect place to be comfortable when talking business.
âPatrick is coming.â Yuna spoke again and by the way her eyes didn't leave the screen you could tell Sol hadn't responded yet.
âI wish you the best of luck, Yuna.â
âThank you! Coming from you it's a blessing, indeed.â
âAnd why's that?â
You finally stood up, closing your locker with your strap bag over your right shoulder. You were ready to leave while your friend was still biting her index fingernail waiting for an almost impossible and inconceivable message from her boss.
âWhat else can I expect from the writer who blew up overnight and is soon going to be one of the New York Times bestsellers and famous worldwide?â
âAh,â you turned your head, unable to contain inwardly the way a warmth settled in your chest; you still had a hard time accepting how things had turned out, but as long as you couldn't control the influx of orders that had to take a back seat, âsmooth.â
Yuna smiled and when her eyes met yours you swore she was about to tell you one more time how proud she was of you, but her phone vibrated in her hands and the last thing you saw her eyes widen exaggeratedly before her scream shook the foundations of the store and almost the entire city.
âSHE SAID YES!!!!â
-
Arriving home unleashed immeasurable chaos.
As soon as you opened the front door, a river of books fell like dominoes, with your father's groans and your mother's screams in the background, the sound of your work echoing in your head like lightning as stomping echoed through the house.
âSeojun, I told you to be careful walkingâŠ!âThe angry expression on your mother's face disappeared the moment she recognized your face, her features softening as she knew it was her daughter. âHoney. What are you doing here so early?â
âIs that y/n?â your dad's exclamation rang out from the kitchen.
âYes!â your mom yelled back.
The welcome was nice, but things only got more and more tedious from then on. On the one hand, you had your father telling you about accounts, numbers and multiplications of how much you had to take out of your pocket to pay for the prints, how much you would make if you sold all the books you had printed and how much you would get back, and on the other hand you had your mother telling you about the countless publishers who had written to your dm's seeking to sponsor the sale of your books, taking advantage of the boom that had been generated by the phenomenon that was Kim Taehyung.
Seojun, who had decided to move back home for the weekend to help with whatever was needed, was telling you that they had had to hire five different deliverymen -three of them trucks- to be able to deliver as many orders a day as possible, while vehemently hitting your father's forearm to remind him to include that in the accounts.
Your father was in charge of everything related to money, your mother of the direct communication with customers and Seojun of the orders; everything was done by them, with Yuna's help when she was not working, with the excuse that after so many years you just had to sit down and enjoy the fruit of your sowing without any worries.
But at that moment, when they had just let go and thrown all their worries at your feet, they stared at you expectantly.
"We need a loan."
Your mother jumped in her chair. "That's what I said!"
"That's not necessary." Your father shook his head, as he surely would have done when your mother suggested the idea judging by the expression that had planted itself on her face. "Take a loan from my wallet, but don't do business with those bankers. They'll gouge your eyes out with interest."
"Or take a publisher's offer. They'll take care of all this." Seojun pointed out, his long black hair brushing his eyebrows even though he shook it nonchalantly so he could get a good look at the three of them.
"Publishers can be freeloaders too." Your mother counter-argued, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Oh, yeah? How many publishers have you signed on with to assert that?"
"Wow, careful with that tone, Mr. Lawyer." Your father pointed at your brother, while your mother only raised an eyebrow at him in response. Seojun sank into the chair, barely dragging an apology through his teeth.
"It's not a bad idea either, Dad."
His brown eyes returned to meet your gaze and you noticed the hesitation in them.
"Well, ultimately, it's your decision, honey."
Your mother squeezed your shoulder.
"I say we should listen to the lawyer."
"Hey!" Seojun frowned, straightening up on the chair. "Don't put such a big responsibility on me!"
Your father snorted. "But then weren't you comfortable a while ago giving orders and saying that I don't know what thing you had already seen it in class and that's why you knew what we had to do?"
"DadâŠ" Seojun elongated.
"Are you ready for such a position or not, Seojun? Tell me to start looking for another lawyer."
Your mother barely contained her laughter, only because of the offended sideways glance her own son sent her way. Laughter blossomed in your chest, too, like a big breath of fresh air in a field of flowers. You didn't know you needed that moment so badly until the tension disappeared from your shoulders as you laughed with your parents and your brother grumbled with his arms crossed.
-
A new batch of orders just went out - thank you so much for your purchases!
You looked at the story your mom had uploaded to Instagram in the solitude of your bedroom. The rest of the day was spent strategizing and planning marketing ideas that would likely lead you to ruin. In a defeated silence, you admitted that Yuna was really needed.
You had texted your friend a while ago, as the sunset was beginning to paint the sky with colors, but she still hadn't even checked her phone. Her last connection was a few minutes after you left at noon. You decided not to insist, even though you were a little curious about who had finally shown up at the store.
The best thing about that busy rest of the afternoon was that you'd been able to keep yourself busy enough to completely ignore the way you'd been whipped up by a few memories that morning in Yuna's company. A simple question had caused all that. And of course, with a heart as weak as a chick's and willpower almost non-existent, you let yourself be pulled right in that moment of loneliness into the well of memories.
âJungkookie?â
Your voice pierced the silence and a shiver ran through your body as the darkness greeted you back. A few minutes passed after you plunged into the completely darkened room, walking tentatively and slowly inside, you heard a movement just outside the door you had just entered.
âNoonaâŠâ
You couldn't see him, but you didn't need to. The sobs that filled the room were enough to be able to guide you through that darkness, as indistinguishable as coal, and wrap your arms around his hunched figure on the floor beside the door.
The house was alone and as dark as that room the last night Jungkook would be there. Passing through the empty corridors of his house was a torment, but you could only imagine how your friend would feel in his place, unable to stop time as it slipped through his fingers.
Several times he had already told you that he didn't want to leave. You didn't think he meant it.
âThey're waiting for you downstairs.â
âI know. I don't want to go, noona.â Jungkook moved his arms to wrap around your waist in a desperate grip, his erratic breathing against your neck breaking your heart. âI want to stay. It doesn't matter if I never become an idol. That's not important.â
âJungkookâŠâ
âI don't want to leave youâŠâ
His halting voice was barely understandable, trying to be muffled by the jacket you were wearing that night when you went to see him off and didn't find him in the car with his parents. The heater seemed not to be a worthy opponent for that cold night.
âJungkook, you're not going to leave me. We'll keep in touch. Why do you worry so much?â
âI don't want to be like them,â his pained voice pierced your chest; the movement of his body from the way the sobs were attacking him was almost uncontainable. âI don't want this distance.â
âChange is always hard, Jungkookie, but I promise you we'll be in touch always. I'll do my best to make it so.â
âReally?â
âOf course. I'll even come visit you as soon as I can.â
âNo. I said I was going to pay for your trip.â
âSee? You're not going to leave me.â
âStill I'm scared, noona. What if I'm not enough for them? What if I can't raise enough for you to come live with us?â
âYou are enough, Jungkook. From the tips of your fingers to the tips of your hair, there's nothing about you that won't allow you to achieve your dreams, understand? You are destined to be a star. I know it's hard to leave behind everything you know in life, but believe me it will all be worth it. You will come out on top and you will succeed.â
âNoonaâŠâ Jungkook cried again, burying his face in your neck once more, clinging to you like the anchor that carried him to the surface of the ocean; the ocean shaped by his own tears. âI⊠don't⊠want⊠to⊠goâŠâ
The hiccups that attacked him from his intense crying made it difficult for him to speak and you hadn't felt such pain even when the other boys left. There were tears shared, promises whispered and hugs that lasted longer than they should have, but no one had clung to your body as if they feared you were going to disappear at any moment and wanted to seize every second before the impending end.
âIt's okay, Jungkookie,â you ran your hands up and down his back trying to calm his crying, trying to control your own as treacherous tears rolled down your cheeks with the darkness as your witness. âWe'll meet again. You can wait for me. Then we can melt into another embrace and say how much we miss each other.â
Your phone vibrated on the bed, the notification startling you with its aggressiveness. Another vibration followed that one and then another. Turning on the screen, you found that half an hour had passed since you'd last seen the clock, and in passing you came across Yuna's name on the caller ID. You sighed, remembering the effusiveness with which she said goodbye in the afternoon and mentally preparing yourself for what was to come.
"Hey," you greeted, mildly surprised that her exclamations hadn't reached your ear first to interrupt your greeting.
"y/n, how were sales today?" her calm voice filled your hearing and a slight wrinkle implanted itself between your brows.
"Mmm, it was all good. We have several domiciliary and the prints are coming out with the deadlines arranged. With Seojun we considered that maybe taking on a publisher wouldn't be so bad, but I'm not sure yet."
You narrowed your eyes at the ceiling, shallowly biting your nails, waiting for the moment when Yuna would burst out, but it didn't come.
"Oh, yeah. We'll have to consider that. I'll go early tomorrow morning to seize the day." Yuna answered quietly, with the faint sound of things stirring in the background of the call. Surely she had just arrived at her apartment.
"Yuna?"
"Mhm?"
"How was the afternoon?"
"Oh, it was normal, really," she replied, her voice flat, as if the thought had barely crossed her mind since the moment she'd left the coffee shop. "I didn't see anyone memorable."
"Ah, so your knights in shining armor didn't attend?"
"Sadly, no." Yuna sighed, her unchanging attitude finding a little more sense in your head. She sounded more tired than anything.
You talked a bit more with Yuna before she excused herself to go about her evening routine and finally get some rest, specifically stressing to you how boring the whole afternoon had been and how every second she only thought about going home. You also told her a bit more about the ideas you and your father had half-heartedly spun as marketing strategies, but very earnestly your friend asked you not to do anything until she was there.
When her name disappeared from your caller ID, an Instagram notification popped up at the top of your home screen. The vibration felt like the pounding of a sledgehammer against wood, your sentence handed down with no chance of appeal, the blood in your veins freezing and an endless emptiness in the pit of your stomach.
jeonjungkook97 just followed you!
It was followed by the notification of a message from Yuna.
Unnie | 19:01 holy shit. jungkook just followed you on ig, right?
No fucking way. Another fucking account to block.
-
It wasn't like you couldn't deal with them. You had been doing it for about ten years. But now they just seemed to want to throw themselves in front of your face one by one and you weren't strong enough to handle that. Maybe your resolve needed to be more forceful; maybe you should be sure you hated them instead of feeling like your body was shaking and you could melt like jelly in the sun every time you felt they were one step closer to you. For a while, that was all you wanted; to find them; to be found. But now�
The weekend was spent in a hodgepodge of managing your book sales and the seesaw of emotions you had in the face of the estranged but impactful actions of your old friends. You tried not to think about it too much; you really tried, but it was very difficult. It was easier to let the memories wash over you instead of diligently packing up the books on which you had squandered your blood and tears.
Your books, yes, that was the most important thing.
From the posts and hashtags, even though it had only been a couple of days, you could see that some people -those who had actually read the books- were already posting their opinions and reviews and you knew you had had plenty of time to prepare for that moment, but you really weren't ready to face it. You didn't know what it was; whether it was the pollen, the aligned planets, PMS, mercury retrograde⊠but all of those things were weighing you down too much recently and you weren't ready to hear the opinions.
And you couldn't help but keep asking yourself why? Having spent so much time, between so many experiences and so many personal changes, why now they decided that they would come back into your life? How dare they after ruining your life by completely abandoning you? Many times you wondered what was missing in you; what was never enough for them⊠sometimes you believed that this was how it was meant to be; just the seven of them, before you came along. It was always them seven first, then you.
Between lows and highs, between sadness and joy, you still had to keep working.
"Get rid of that face if you're not going to tell me what's wrong with you." Yuna crossed the cafeteria in front of you, picking up some glasses and plates on the table as lunchtime approached.
"I don't have any face."
"You've been in a somber mood since Saturday. You look dead."
You clicked your tongue, taking advantage of the fact that the store was nearly empty to do the math. "Don't be over the top."
"I'm just being honest and genuinely concerned about my friend, can you blame me?" Yuna reached the sink and simply left the dishes there to approach the cash register. Your eyes refused to meet hers, unsheathing a strange annoyance in the pit of your stomach.
"I'm fine," you moved the money automatically, doing the math in the back of your head as second nature, "don't worry so much."
"Ok, if you don't want to tell me about it at least try to distract yourself a little, why don't you take an extra half hour for lunch?"
"You know I can't do that."
"Sol would never know."
"I'm not going to do that."
Yuna pouted, dropping her chin onto the back of her hand. You knew she was about to fly you out of that chair the moment all the bills were safeguarded.
A whiplash of pain shot through your chest at the alternative of having to leave the cafeteria, alone, hovering with your thoughts once again, as you tried to shove the food down your throat. But Yuna happily dragged you out of the cafeteria, leaving you in the middle of the street with your little bag and lunch money, wishing you a happy break as she wandered off once more to deal with the sparse crowd of customers alone.
Maybe you should have told her you'd rather not eat than be alone, butâŠ
That was the story of your life.
So you walked to that restaurant a couple of blocks away, where they sold the cheapest food in the area, and waited patiently while answering Yuna's messages to clear your mind.
Going through your social networks, you once again came across the cover of your books in the pre-viewing of a video and felt the bile in your throat. Let's see, you were happy. Or well, you were trying to convince yourself because you still had that bitter feeling in the pit of your stomach that wouldn't let you enjoy this blast like you should and it had a first and last name of its own. But, generally speaking, it was great that your books were selling, forgetting all the other circumstances that led to that happening.
So, standing in front of those videos, you were tormented by not being able to watch them. A self-published author should be prepared for that kind of thing. No, any author should be. Sharing your art with the world implicitly entailed confronting the world's expression in front of it. It was inevitable, of course, and it was also the energy that could start an engine or the fingers that put out the match. At that precise moment, you still didn't want to know what your destiny was.
You hated that. You hated feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders. Why was life so heavy if you had just begun to live it?
Ah, too much pondering for one lunch.
And to think this all started with an Instagram story.
Having an existential crisis because you couldn't stand dealing with the stress and pressure of the extreme demand you were having and because of mixed feelings for a bunch of idiots resurfacing after so many years was one of the last things you thought you'd have to go through that year. Fuck, or ever in your entire life.
Taehyung might have done you a favor as well as a disservice.
But that's how you spent a while longer, as you walked back to the coffee shop, the noise of the city not being enough to quell the bustle of thoughts crashing against each other in your head.
Being in the eye of the hurricane, however, didn't mean you were safe. You barely had a breath of fresh air before the eyewall hit you hard once again.
"Noona�"
You froze a few steps away from the cafeteria. You feared not only the way you immediately recognized the voice, but the way your body froze, fear, panic and uncertainty clouding your sense.
You were in the alley behind the coffee shop. You didn't usually go in that way, but you had taken a slightly longer way back, only because you were too busy thinking about whether or not your body was up to a longer walk.
You were so close to the door that you could almost hear Yuna's voice on the other side, barely muffled by the beeping that echoed in your ears as panic took over your body.
You didn't want to turn around. Your body was having every possible negative reaction, as if it was fighting an infection, the lunch you had just shoved down your throat seeking to make its way back into your mouth and the feeling of dizziness momentarily clouded you.
Was this how you planned to react if you ever saw them again? Was this how you acted out the scenarios you imagined in your head at night when your memories went back to the last time you saw them?
The only difference between those imaginings and what was happening at that moment was that before you could prepare yourself; you knew what was coming; you had control. Now? Your legs were about to give out, the weight of your body too much to bear.
And you wanted to mock the pathetic behavior you were engaging in. You should turn around, slap him and scream at him that you never wanted to see him again. But your heart was beating and feeling and⊠how could you deny it anything after so many years of being neglected?
But maybe you were imagining it. The little sleep you had this weekend and all the memories you dragged from the trunk since you saw that Instagram notification must have made you crazy enough that you heard voices, his voice, anywhere⊠you were still near a busy street, it could be anyone-
"y/n."
And, yetâŠ
You didn't turn around knowing what it would entail to give his voice a face, even though you could madly and frankly recall every line of its length, and you spoke harshly through your teeth even though your labored breathing made your chest heave.
"What are you doing here?"
"Noona⊠you're really here."
You cringed as you heard his footsteps and clutched with inhuman speed at the lock on the door in front of you.
"I asked you a fucking question: what the fuck do you think you're doing here?"
The silence didn't give you an answer, but you could glimpse it. With your patience on edge and years of emotional repression it was impossible for you to deduce how you would react in such a case, but it didn't seem too far-fetched, even if Jungkook's surprised inspiration said he didn't expect you to be so harsh and rude.
As if you cared.
âYes you did care, in fact, that's why your heart was beating wildly against your ribs, the choking sensation increasing, the nerves on edge and the tears all over the corners of your eyes, but you had to stand your ground. After so, so long⊠why, why, why, why?â
"I⊠IâŠ" Jungkook seemed to be having trouble finding his voice, even though in his profession the words came melodiously and easily out of his mouth. If you turned to look at him, you might have noticed that his face went from happiness to anguish with the speed a bullet goes through a field, "I wanted to see youâŠ"
He sounded so small. The five-foot-ten-plus man, who you're sure was almost a head and a half taller than you, might as well have been a badly wounded puppy behind you. You knew from the way he spoke that he was holding back tears, but you didn't let that sway you. He didn't deserve it.
"Who gave you the right to come here?"
You didn't let him answer, not knowing if he was even going to, tightening the lock on the door you were about to walk through at any moment, bile in your throat making you fear the fall as if you were at the top of a skyscraper.
"How the fuck did you even find me?"
"Well, I-"
"I don't fucking want to know!"
You cut him off, the dryness and venom in your voice making you tremble. You were so sad, so distraught and so angry at the same time.
"And I don't want to see you. So leave."
"NoonaâŠ"
"Fucking leave, Jeon, for fuck's sake!"
You moved, almost as if by inertia, opening the door and slamming it behind you, the noise so deafening that it echoed in your ears for several seconds until you heard Yuna's footsteps approaching you and felt her arms wrap around your body.
You didn't know what she was saying, you just leaned against the door and let yourself fall, your body shaking in cry after uncontrollable cry, truly wondering how everything had gone so far; wondering how, after so many years, you still allowed them to have that power over you; a power they didn't deserve and shouldn't have.
You felt shattered in that moment, every piece of you scattered in the hold, every moment of your life replaying on its glassy, sharp edges. Even with half of you staying afloat, Yuna held you until the tears stopped flowing and with renewed resolve you promised yourself that this was never going to happen again.
Jungkook had taken you by surprise, but from now on none of them would ever catch you off guard.
-
a/n: i dont really know what to think about this chap. sometimes i like it sometimes i dont. i guess thats just how it works. pls letme know what you think! thank u for all the support! <3
tag: @rinkud @futuristicenemychaos @pastelpeachess @parapiop7 @kokoandkookie @midiplier @thunderg @lizzymizzy-blogg @ladymorrie @butnotmontana @lovelgirl22 @jjeonjjk7 @aurorathi @ot7stansthings @kunacat @borahaetelevision @mylovingstars @ghostlyworld @talyaaas-blog @slowlyshycomputer @jjk174 @maynina @saintomie @damn-u-min-yoongi @juju-227592 @yoongznme @queenbloody @leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesworld @zippaur @v4ksk4tz @kookierry @idk179634 @canarystwin @elliott-calls @devilzliaison
#bts x reader#bts fluff#bts fanfic#bts imagines#bts scenarios#bts angst#taehyung angst#taehyung x reader#kim taehyung x reader#taehyung fanfic#jimin x reader#jimin angst#jungkook x you#jungkook angst#jungkook fanfic#jungkook x reader#jin x reader#seokjin x reader#seokjin angst#hoseok x reader#jung hoseok#namjoon angst#namjoon x reader#yoongi x reader#yoongi fanfic
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Bittersweet || myg (1)
Pairing: Yoongi x Reader Other Tags: Grad Student!Yoongi, Undergrad!Reader, Grad Student!Hoseok, Uncle!Namjoon, Doctor!Namjoon, Grad Student!Jimin, Fuckboy!Jungkook, GradStudent!Jungkook, Boss!Seokjin, Yoongi POV Genre: College!AU, Strangers to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, kinda Student/Teacher but not really, Older!Yoongi, Fluff, Angst, Eventual Smut Word Count: 19.9k+ Summary: When a cynical graduate student meets an overly enthusiastic undergraduate, the air crackles with tensionâthough not all of it is good. Warnings: Mean!Yoongi, he's extremely rude, like extremely so, prank gone wrong, bitter grad student to the max, strong language, Jimin is a snitch, possible wrong science information (i'm sorry i'm not perfect), sexual tension, reader faints at the sight of blood, unfunny pranks, Yoongi is jaded, he's a softie once you get to know him, hospital visit, non-descriptive male masterbation, reader has a stutter when nervous, Yoongi just being in denial for almost 20k words, kissing at work, almost caught, Jealous!Yoongi, i'm sorry but this JK is kind of a slime ball, Reader knows what she's doing, they're adorable, lots of bickering, let me know if I missed anything... A/N: Another old draft I found buried in my Google Docs! I didn't need to change too much, and it's very loosely edited, so please forgive any grammar or spelling mistakes. This was rather long (and I don't know why I never posted it), so it had to be split into two parts because of Tumblr's new rules. Thanks for reading!
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Subject: Undergrad Mentoring From: Seokjin Kim, seokjinkim(at)fhcrc(.)org  Sent: Friday, January 14, 2024, 6:18 AM  To: Yoongi Min, ygmin(at)u(.)washington(.)edu Â
Yoongi, Â
Iâm forwarding an email from a brilliant undergraduate. Have you thought about mentoring a student? I really think you should. Â
â Jin Â
---
From: ynyln(at)u(.)washington(.)edu  Sent: Friday, January 14, 2024, 2:08 AM  To: Seokjin Kim, seokjinkim(at)fhcrc(.)org  Subject: Undergraduate Research Â
Dear Professor Kim, Â
My name is Y/N Y/L/N, and Iâm a junior in the School of Arts and Sciences, majoring in microbiology. Iâm incredibly interested in undergraduate research, particularly in your fascinating work on Helicobacter pylori and its connection to stomach cancer. Â
Although I donât have prior research experience, Iâm hardworking and responsible, and I would appreciate the chance to join your team. Please let me know if you have space available in your lab. Â
Attached are my CV and transcript. Â
Thank you! Â
Y/N Y/L/NÂ Â
---
Dr. Seokjin Kim Member, Division of Basic Sciences  Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center  1100 Fairview Avenue North  Seattle, WA 98109-1024 Â
I stared at Jin's email, the words bouncing around in my head. No previous research experience? Oh great! Just fucking great!
As the clock hit noon, I trudged into the break room, where the fluorescent lights buzzed like a swarm of angry bees. It was my little escape, my sanctuary from the suffocating hallways of academia. Hoseok, the only graduate student I considered a friend, was already inhaling his lunch.
I plopped my Tupperware into the microwave, the dayâs weight pressing down on me like a thick fog. âJin wants me to take on an undergrad,â I grumbled, feeling the words stick in my throat.
âSeriously?â Hoseok asked, mouth half-full. He didnât even bother to swallow before adding, âHave them do the dishes.â
âOh man, this is going to suck,â I muttered, stirring my mac and cheese with the enthusiasm of a person headed to their execution. âI have to train her, and she has zero lab experience. I donât have time for this crap.â
The microwave beeped, its harsh sound grating against my nerves. I pulled out my steaming food, the steam rising ominously. âI tried to get out of it, but Jin insisted itâs âall part of the training.ââ I mimicked his voice, nasal and overdramatic. Hoseok chuckled, nearly choking on his food.
I dug into my lunch, my mind racing. âSheâs probably some pre-med trying to pad her CV. Calling our research âfascinatingâ like she even knows what we do hereâjust another cookie-cutter student firing off a hundred emails.âÂ
âMaybe sheâs cute?â Hoseok waggled his eyebrows.
I rolled my eyes, ignoring him. My single status was a constant source of irritation for him. He meant well, but his attempts at matchmaking were like trying to fix a flat tire with a spoon.
âI already did my required TA-ing last year, and it nearly gave me an ulcer. I thought I was done with whiny undergrads! This really sucks!â The words burst out, hot and angry. The idea of babysitting a clueless student gnawed at me like a persistent itch.
I focused on my research, hoping it would be my ticket out of this academic purgatory. Mentoring an undergrad was the last thing I neededâa distraction threatening to derail my meticulously planned escape.
After lunch, I headed to the incubator to check on my cultures, the familiar hum a small comfort amidst the chaos. Then I settled at my desk, drafting a reluctant email to the undergrad, my words dripping with begrudging obligation.
From: Yoongi Min, ygmin(at)u(.)washington(.)edu  Sent: Friday, January 14, 2024, 1:05 PM  To: ynyln(at)u(.)washington(.)edu Â
Come to the lab on Monday between 8 AM and 7 PM. Bring your schedule. Â
Yoongi Min PhD Candidate  Kim Lab  Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center  1100 Fairview Avenue North  Seattle, WA 98109-1024 Â
This was going to suck.
âHi, Iâm looking for Yoongi Min?â A strangerâs voice cut through the quiet of the lab, and I felt my focus waver. I was knee-deep in DNA sequencing data, desperately searching for a start codon when the interruption struck like nails on a chalkboard.
âThatâs him over there,â Jimin, my lab mate, replied. I didnât need to look up; I knew he was pointing at me.
âCTT ATC GTG ACTâŠâ I murmured; eyes glued to the screen. The code demanded my attention.
A shadow crept closer, invading my peripheral vision. I ignored it, hyper-fixated on the screen.
âHi, Iâm Y/N,â the shadow solidified into the undergrad Iâd been dreading. I continued to stare at the screen, unwilling to break my concentration.
âDid you bring your schedule?â My voice was clipped, an attempt to maintain my rhythm.
CGC CTC CGT ATG⊠There it was! I highlighted the start codon, feeling a small sense of victory amidst the irritation. Finally, I turned to face her. She held a crumpled piece of paper in trembling hands.
The crackling noise of the paper grated on my nerves, and I snatched it from her. A quick scan revealed she had a limited availability. Tuesdays and Thursdays it was.
âDo you want one or two credits?â I asked, filling out her form with practiced efficiency.
âOh⊠um⊠t-two,â she stammered, her voice barely above a whisper.
Oh great, a stammerer. I disliked her already. My frustration bubbled beneath the surface.
âThatâs ten hours a week,â I said, scribbling on the form. âTuesday and Thursday afternoons, maybe some Wednesday mornings.â I thrust the completed form back at her and turned back to my computer.
âSee you tomorrow,â I dismissed her with a wave, eager to end the interaction. Her stammering was already wearing on my patience.
When I returned from lunch, she was perched at my bench. A laugh escaped me at the sight of her attire.
âWhat the hell is that?â I pointed at her lab coat, which was covered in hand-drawn bacteria.
She jumped, eyes wide. âMy la-la-lab coat?â she stuttered.
Oh great, sheâs a fucking idiot.
I took a deep breath, scanning her outfit for safety violations. At least she wore closed shoes and jeans, but her long hair hung loose.
âYou should tie your hair up. Youâll be working near the flame.â
She pulled a hairband from her wrist and started tying her hair back. As I walked past, I noticed the back of her lab coat had âBacteria Ruleâ scrawled in huge letters.
Bacteria Rule? Is she serious? I wanted to stab my eyes out with the pen in my hand. Who wastes time drawing on a lab coat? Nobody in their right mind, thatâs for sure.
Something was off about herâI was certain of it. Concerned about her competence, I decided she couldnât be trusted with any real work. Instead, I assigned her mundane chores, the kind even a high schooler could handle. It might not have been what Jin envisioned, but it was the only way.
God, Iâm already dreading this. Can it be Friday already?
Hoseok and I lounged in the break room, our feet propped up on the coffee table, Tupperwares in our laps. The lack of a proper dining table didnât bother us; it still beat eating at our desks.
âHowâs it going with the undergrad?â Hoseok asked, mouth full.
âIâm pretty sure thereâs something wrong with her,â I said, dead serious.
Hoseok laughed, even though I wasnât joking.
âAll she does is nod at what I say,â I elaborated. âLike one of those bobblehead dolls.â I stretched my neck and bobbed my head for effect. âExcept she has bangs flopping all over her face when she nods frantically at everything I say.â
Hoseok snorted but kept eating.
âAnd she stutters! Well, when she speaks, that is. She doesnât speak much. I kind of like that about her.â
Hoseok chuckled. âSounds like youâre in love, bro.â
âFuck you, Hoseok,â I shot back, uninterested. I already knew where this was heading.
âIs she cute?â Hoseok asked, glancing at me with a smirk.
âSheâs a baby.â
âIs she a cute baby?â
âHoseok, sheâs⊠sheâs a zygote.â
âWell, maybe with this zygote, youâll learn how to be human again.â He turned his attention back to his food.
âWhat the hell is that supposed to mean?â
âCome on. Youâre not exactly social, bro. All you do is lab stuff and occasionally hang out with me and Serena.â
âWhat are you talking about? I am social.â My tone came out whiny, betraying my disbelief.
âOh, really?â Hoseok raised an eyebrow, gesturing to my Tupperware. âSo social that you prefer to eat alone in the lab over joining us in the break room?â
âDo you even hear yourself? Youâre such a dork. I eat in here because the lab is a mess, not because Iâm antisocial.â I shrugged, trying to hide the embarrassment creeping into my cheeks.
âWhatever you say, Yoongi,â he laughed, clearly unconvinced. Â
I shook my head. I didnât want to think about this right now. Instead, I grabbed my backpack, bracing myself for the next round of research duties.
After a few weeks of working together, I had to admitâalbeit grudginglyâthat the undergrad was following instructions better than Iâd expected. If I could just ignore her ridiculous lab coat and the way those bangs flopped annoyingly over her forehead, she wouldnât be half bad. The real annoyance, though, was her constant presence invading my space. But honestly, it could be worse; at least she wasnât stammering nonstop. Most of the time, she barely spoke, and mercifully, she didnât ask a ton of questions.
As I walked back from lunch with Hoseok, I was surprised to realize I didnât dread the thought of the undergrad being in the lab when I arrived. Maybe having her shadow me wouldnât be the end of the world after all.
Of course, the moment that thought crossed my mind, I jinxed myself. Stepping into the lab, I found her cleaning my bench, and a wave of irritation crashed over me.Â
âWhat the heck are you doing?â I snapped, my voice sharper than I intended.
She flinched, turning slowly to face me, her gloved hands still gripping an ethanol squeeze bottle. âI-I just thought Iâd clean up a bit,â she stammered.
âDid you touch my samples?â I shot back, a surge of panic coursing through me.
âWhich samples?âÂ
âThose!â I pointed at the upside-down tubes that had been perfectly positioned when I left, now carelessly shoved to the side.Â
âI-I just movââ
âDid you touch my RNA samples?â Her mouth opened and closed like a fish gasping for airâan annoyingly stupid fish. âDo you know how labile RNA is?â
âL-la-labile?âÂ
âYes! Unstableâeasily degradable. The main point here: you donât touch my RNA samples!âÂ
âI-I used gloves⊠Iâm sorry,â she mumbled, tears shimmering in her eyes.Â
If she started crying, I was really going to lose it.Â
I took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of my nose to calm the storm brewing inside me. Slipping on my own gloves, I gently set my samples back in their rightful place, praying I hadnât lost a weekâs worth of work.Â
I could hear her sniffling next to me, and I groaned out loud. âWhy donât you and your la-la-lab coat coat go find something useful to do?âÂ
I listened as she shuffled away, clearly eager to escape my sight. I should have known better than to think this arrangement would work out.
From: Seokjin Kim, seokjinkim(at)fhcrc(.)org  Sent: Monday, February 14, 2024, 6:27 AM To: Yoongi Min, ygmin(at)u(.)washington(.)edu
Yoongi, Â
Part of the undergrad training involves more than just doing chores. Cleaning dishes, stacking pipette tips, and capping tubes do not count as experiments. Â
I expect your undergrad to have enough experimental data to give a presentation at the end of the semester. Â
Jin Â
What the hell? Did she tell him Iâm only having her do chores?Â
Shit, shit, shit, shit.Â
Jin was right, though. All sheâd done these past few weeks were chores. Aside from that little incident with my RNA samples, she hadnât completely messed up yet. Maybe I should cut her some slack and give her a real project. She might learn somethingâor at the very least, realize how frustrating science could be and decide to give up on it sooner rather than later.Â
Oh God, how was she going to give a presentation if she couldnât even say one coherent sentence without stuttering?Â
This would be an embarrassment, not just for her but for me too. If she messed up, sheâd make me look bad.Â
Decision made. I needed to lighten up a bit and actually try to teach her something.
On Thursday, the undergrad was busy with her chores when I approached her, project sheet in hand.Â
She looked at it, her eyebrows raised. âWhat is this?âÂ
âYour project for the next few weeks.âÂ
Her face lit up with excitement.Â
âYou didnât have to go crying to Jin. I was going to give you a project anyway.âÂ
Her smile faltered into a frown. âW-What are you talking about?â She gazed up at me, bewildered, but I waved her off, unwilling to explain further.Â
âEnough chattering. Those tubes arenât going to wash themselves.âÂ
Gotcha, undergrad. Your puppy dog eyes donât work on me.
It was the first week of real work for the undergrad, and I felt a knot of anxiety twisting in my stomach. My palms were clammy, and my heart raced uncomfortably.Â
Am I excited about this? Nah⊠Iâm probably just hungry.
âDo you know what PCR is?âÂ
She nodded eagerly, pulling out her notepad, ready to take notes.Â
I explained how I wanted her to amplify two toxin genes from a set of H. pylori samples that had just arrived that morning from the hospital. Naturally, I only gave her a small subset of the total samples. It was a manageable numberâenough for her to play around with, but not so many that Iâd be ready to murder her if she messed up.
As usual, the undergrad took notes on everything I said, jotting down even where I pointed out the locations of various equipment. For all I knew, she was sketching a detailed map of the lab in that notepad of hers.
The undergrad sat at the bench, PCR tubes lined up in front of her, the protocol to her left, pipettes to her right, and a rack of reagents looming in the back. I watched her as she stared at everything, nervously picking at the edges of her gloves.Â
She was going to drive me insane.Â
âDo you know how to use the pipettes?âÂ
She looked up at me, shaking her head timidly.Â
âWhy didnât you say so?â My voice came out louder than intended, and she flinched.Â
We were never going to get anywhere like this.Â
I took a deep breath and tried again, grabbing one of the micropipettes. âYou set the volume here.â I pointed to the rings. âClockwise to increase, counterclockwise to decrease.âÂ
I demonstrated, twisting the rings as I explained the display window and where to discard the disposable tips when she was done.Â
After a few trials, the undergrad carefully pipetted into the PCR tubes, preparing the reaction with surprising precision.Â
She was focused, making sure not to contaminate anything. It was clear she was paying close attention to every detail.Â
Skilled hands, I noted, feeling a flicker of satisfaction.Â
Maybe this wouldnât be as bad as I thought.
I led the undergrad into the darkroom, where shadows clung to the walls like forgotten secrets, ready to ensnare us. The air was thick with a sharp, chemical tang, buzzing with anticipation as we approached the agarose gel. The PCR products shimmered faintly under the dim light, a hidden treasure waiting to be revealed. Surprisingly, a flicker of excitement sparked within me, a rare departure from my usual brooding.
âThe ethidium bromide binds to the DNA,â I explained, my voice echoing softly in the sterile silence. âWhen we expose it to UV light, it fluoresces an orange color. Youâll see the PCR products light up on the gel.â
She walked beside me, clutching the gel like a sacred relic, her wide eyes absorbing every word. I could almost see the gears turning in her mind, likely wishing she had her notepad to document my brilliance, as if capturing my words would somehow validate her existence.
As we stepped into the darkroom, she hesitated, like a deer caught in headlights, before gingerly placing the gel inside the UV box. She moved carefully, avoiding the pitfalls of air bubbles that could ruin everything. Either sheâd done this before, or she had the sense to read up on it.Â
Good. I liked a prepared undergrad.
Once sheâd set the gel, I instructed her to turn off the lights. The room plunged into darkness, and I leaned in, my heart racing a little faster. Peering into the UV box, I couldnât help but grin. âWell, look at that. All your reactions worked.â
âReally?â Her voice trembled from the back, laced with a quiver of hope.
âYeah,â I called back, though the shadows played tricks on me. âCome closer so you can see.â
I waited, but she lingered in the gloom, frozen as if afraid to approach the light. âCome here, I donât bite,â I coaxed, trying to keep my tone lighthearted.
Finally, she moved, her profile illuminated under the eerie purple glow. Her eyes widened, and a smile broke across her face like dawn piercing through a dark night. I snorted softly, amused by how easily undergrads were impressed.
After she soaked in the spectacle, I showed her how to take a photo of her gel, and we returned to the lab. She began dutifully filling in her lab notebook, and a glimmer of pride swelled within me. That was until I checked her progress later. The notebook was pristineâa meticulous record of her every move since day one. Hope flickered in my chest, only to sputter out when I turned to the last page. There it was, taped prominently: a picture of the gel with âAll worked!â scrawled underneath, accompanied by a crude smiley face.
A fucking smiley face.
This undergrad, I thought, definitely had a screw loose.
âIs that what youâre wearing?âÂ
âWhatâs wrong with it?â I glanced down at my sweater, a worn piece of fabric riddled with holesâjust like my soul. It was what I had been wearing all day, and it sufficed.Â
âIt has holes in it.â
âAnd?â I shot back, genuinely baffled. It was just clothingâa shield against the chill of the world.
âAre you making a fashion statement? You do know grunge was over twenty years ago? I know you live in Seattle and all, but Iâm not digging the Kurt Cobain look⊠at all.â
âThanks for the vote of confidence,â I muttered, irritation bubbling beneath my skin. âIâm starting to regret bringing you to this.â
âRelax, itâs just beers with Hobi and Serena,â she said, rolling her eyes like I was some petulant child.
I raked a hand through my hair, but it sprang back defiantly, so I slapped on a beanie to cover the chaos.
âYou know, Yoongi, it wouldnât hurt to wash your hair once in a while. How are you going to meet any cute girls?â
Here we go again.
âYoonji, would you get off my case? I donât want to meet anybody.âÂ
Yoonji dropped in at least once a month, a whirlwind of concern and relentless nagging. She never believed me when I claimed to be fine over the phone.Â
It was endearing, in a way, but mostly a burden I didnât need. My family was my anchor, yet their relentless need to take care of me felt like shackles.
âOkay, okay... letâs go then.âÂ
âItâs just beers, for crying out loud.âÂ
âIâm telling you to relax.âÂ
In the car, I felt her eyes boring into me. âItâs just... I worry about you.â She brushed her hand along my arm, and I sighed.
âIâm fine,â I insisted, but I could see the disbelief flickering across her face. âReally. Iâm just tired of school. I want to start real life already. Iâll be twenty-six this summer, and Iâm still stuck in this academic limbo.â
âHell, Iâm twenty-seven!â Hoseok said when we arrived at the bar, lifting his pint in a mock salute. âAnd look at all the fuck I give!â He downed it with a flourish.
âIs that supposed to make me feel better?â I shot back.
âHey,â Serena interjected, her tone warning.
âItâs okayâŠâ Hoseok waved dismissively. âHeâs just got a bad case of graduate bitterness.â
Graduate bitterness... yes, that was exactly it. A malaise that settled in my bones like a persistent chill. I glanced around, my throat tightening as if the weight of my uncertainty was squeezing the life out of me.
I led the undergrad through the winding corridors of the building, our footsteps echoing like whispers in the shadows. She walked beside me in near silence, her gaze occasionally darting down to her notepad, scribbling furiously as if the ink might escape her. If only she spent as much time observing her surroundings as she did with her frantic notes, she wouldnât need them to find her way back to the sequencing facility.
There was something peculiar about her. She avoided meeting my eyes, her demeanor skirting the edges of unease, a deep-seated shyness that pricked at my irritation. And Hoseok thinks Iâm the antisocial one!
As we turned a corner, I pondered the unspoken rules of social behavior in the lab when we suddenly bumped into Jungkook Wand, another graduate student known for his knack for lurking around.
âMin,â he greeted, his gaze fixated on my undergrad, likely eyeing her in that ridiculous lab coat that looked like it had seen better days. Why she insisted on wearing that tattered garment was beyond me.
âWe missed you at happy hour,â he added, his eyes still glued to her, ignoring me completely.
Every Friday, the department hosted a gathering that, while lame, at least offered beer. Last week, Yoonji was visiting, and I wouldnât have dreamed of dragging her into that debacle.
âYeah, my cousin was in town,â I managed, trying to shake off the feeling of being an afterthought.
Jungkookâs smile widened as he turned his attention to her. I should probably introduce them, but for the life of me, her name eluded me. Panic set in like a cold sweat.
âHi,â Jungkook said, flashing a grin that felt a bit too eager.
Shit. What was her name again?
The girl glanced up at me, and a flash of annoyance crossed her features, as if she could read my mind. âIâm Y/N,â she said, her voice laced with indignation as she extended her hand. The scowl she shot me could peel paint off the walls.
Y/N. The name landed in my mind like a lead weight. How had I forgotten it?
Before I could muster an excuse, Jungkook was launching into conversation, his gaze lingering on her with a familiarity that irked me. I didnât like Jungkook, nor the way he looked at my undergrad, so I steered her away from him, back toward the safety of the lab.
Now, what was her name again? Damn it.
The following week, I was knee-deep in sequence alignments at my cluttered desk when the fire alarm shrieked, slicing through the stillness like a knife. I turned to find my undergrad, her wide eyes betraying sheer panic.Â
She thought it was real. In that moment, a mischievous idea sparked in my mind.Â
âRun, Becca! Run!â I shouted, leaping from my chair.
âWhat?âÂ
The color drained from her face, and I couldn't help but laugh as confusion and fear played out across her featuresâ priceless. I doubled over, laughter bubbling out like soda from a shaken can.Â
The alarm blared on, drowning out her startled gasp as she clutched a rack of tubes, trembling. âItâs just a fire drill! Relax!â I finally managed to gasp.
She set the tubes down, took a deep breath, and shot me a glare, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. âThat was not funny,â she huffed, her voice laced with indignation. âAnd my name is Y/N!â
With that, she stormed off, leaving me with echoes of my laughter still ringing in my ears.Â
Oh, being social was unexpectedly entertaining!
The fire alarms continued to test my patience, ringing again and again. Each time, I chuckled at the memory of her startled expression. Now, standing outside for what felt like the fifth time, I glanced sideways at Y/N, who was shifting her weight from foot to foot, hands shoved into her pockets.Â
âWant to grab some coffee?â I asked, feeling an odd urge to make amends.
She blinked at me, surprise flickering across her face as if she couldnât believe I was actually talking to her.
The cafeteria at the library was our destination, and we walked in silence, the clouds parting for a moment to let in the faintest hint of sunshine.Â
As we stood in line, I noticed her tense shoulders. Suddenly, she muttered a string of curses under her breath. Before I could react, her arm was around mine, grinning at me like a Cheshire cat.
âWhat the hell are you doing?â I asked, bewildered.
She maintained her smile but released me, stepping in front. âSay something funny,â she ordered, her voice low and urgent.
âWhat?â
Then she erupted in laughter, leaving me standing there in utter confusion.
She pressed a hand against my chest, and I wasnât sure whether to be amused or alarmed. Was this how lab partners acted in her world?
But just as quickly as the laughter came, it faded, and she stepped back, looking sheepish, as if the moment had been a strange dream.
I moved up in line to get my coffee. âDo you want anything?â
âNo, thanks,â she replied, shaking her head. I decided to drop the subject entirely.
As we started heading back, she caught up to me, her expression suddenly earnest. âIâm sorry,â she blurted. âThereâs this guy, Jonah. He wonât take a hint. I thought if he saw me with someoneâŠâ
I tuned out her words, her rhythm a blur as I realized just how bizarre everything was.
Could undergrads get any weirder?
Sitting alone on a bench Wednesday afternoon, I savored the solitude when Jungkook appeared, looming over me like a vulture.Â
âMin,â he said, his tone dripping with false familiarity.
I glared at him, not in the mood for whatever nonsense he was about to spill.Â
âWhereâs that cute little thing you were with?âÂ
âWho?â
âYou know, the one in the colorful lab coat.â
Colorful? I snorted, recalling the eyesore she wore.
âSheâs not here,â I replied curtly.
âGot her number?â
âWhy would I have her number? And why do you want it?â
He raised his eyebrows, a smirk spreading across his face. âYou know⊠you and herâŠâ
I cut him off, anger flaring in my chest. âMe and her what?â
âIs she up for grabs?â
I couldnât believe heâd come to my lab just to ask about her.
âJungkook, sheâs an undergrad.â
He laughed, completely oblivious. âDude, have you looked at her? Sheâs fine.â
âYeah, and sheâs crazy.â
âEven better!â His expression made my stomach churn.
âI donât have her number, and if I did, I wouldnât give it to you.â
With that, I shoved my earbuds in, blocking him out as he stormed off, his words echoing in my mind.
Fucking creep.
Even though it was Fridayâone of those days Y/N usually avoidedâthe lab felt off-kilter, like an old, rickety house holding its breath. She hovered at my desk while I pulled up the sequencing results on my laptop. Last night, Iâd sent her a simple email, expecting a casual response. But her reply had come back faster than a ghost in the night. She wanted to see the data today.
As we sat there, the silence between us thickened, almost palpable. Her face was a mask of concentration, but her expressions kept faltering, crumpling like old paper. Not that I cared too much; she had to learn that research was 90% disappointment wrapped in frustration.
âWhy didnât it work?â she asked, her voice tinged with sadness, as if she were mourning a lost hope.
âMaybe you made a mistake?â I suggested, trying to sound casual.
âI was very careful,â she shot back, defensive, her eyes narrowing like a predator ready to pounce.
How typical. Pre-med students always thought they were immune to failure, that the universe owed them success on a silver platter.
âIt happens,â I shrugged, trying to dismiss the tension.
âI donât understand,â she said, her brows knitting together.
âThere's a reason itâs called research. If you only had to do it once, it would be called a search.â
âSo, what do I do now?â
âYou start over.â
âFrom the beginning?â Her voice trembled, disbelief flickering in her eyes.
âYeah.â
A heavy sigh escaped her lips as she gazed at her notebook, defeated. Her eyes flitted to the calendar on the wall, and her pencil scratched furiously on the pad. âCan I come tomorrow? I want to have cells growing by Monday.â
Her eagerness surprised me. I added âoverachieverâ to the growing list of quirks that made Y/N so peculiar.
âTomorrowâs Saturday,â I teased, raising an eyebrow.
âI know that.â
âDonât you have a frat party to attend?â I quipped, but her glare silenced me, a reprimand that cut through the lab's sterile air. âFine, come tomorrow,â I relented, knowing Iâd be here anyway. Weekends in the lab were the best; no distractions, just the hum of machinery and the click of keys.
âAwesomesauce!â she chirped, her smile lighting up the dim room. I rolled my eyes, annoyed yet impressed by her determination. Maybe, just maybe, she had what it took for grad school after all.
Saturdays were sacredâmy little slice of peace amid the storm of classes and lab reports. After a killer morning workout, I made my way back to the lab, my damp hair fluttering in the cool breeze. Just as I settled into my zone, my phone buzzed with a message that snapped me back to reality.Â
âMr. Graduate Student, Iâm at the front of the building. Y/N.â
I chuckled, shaking my head at her cheesy attempt at humor. By the time I reached the entrance, I found her wrestling with her hair, tying it up into a high ponytail that looked like it could give anyone a headache just by looking at it. But when she caught sight of me, her face lit up with a grin that could brighten the cloudiest day.
âVery funny,â I replied dryly as I held the door open for her. âItâs Yoongi, remember?â
As we stepped inside, the silence stretched between us, thick and awkward. I considered tossing out a quip about her hairstyle or her lab coat, but then a mischievous prank began to brew in my mindâdark and delightful, like a noxious weed spreading through my thoughts.
âStart your experiment from scratch,â I said, forcing a serious tone. âCould be that my reagents were contaminated.â
Her eyes widened, and I could barely suppress a smirk. It was a complete lie, of course; the old autoclave in the corner was already wheezing like an ancient beast. But picturing her panic was too tempting.Â
Settling at my bench, I could barely contain my excitement. But instead of the expected rush of alarm, there was a loud crashâglass shattering like a million tiny dreamsâand then silence.Â
What the hell was that?
I found her on the floor, surrounded by shards of glass that sparkled like lost hopes. The autoclave hissed and wheezed, steam curling around us like a ghost. I rushed to her side, trying to stem the leak with my hands.Â
âWhat happened?â I asked, crouching beside her. She looked like a wilted flower, her head buried in her knees, eyes squeezed shut.
âAre you okay?â I tried again, dread pooling in my stomach as I saw her trembling hands. Her breath came in quick bursts, and my heart raced.Â
She mumbled something I couldnât catch, her palm pressed hard against her leg. âLet me see,â I urged, only to be hit with a wave of horror: a deep gash across her palm, crimson pooling onto the cold tiles.
Oh, no...
Panic surged as I scooped her up, her fragile body slumping against mine. âYouâre okay,â I whispered, the words feeling hollow. âItâs okay.âÂ
I hurried her to the sink, the cool water a sharp contrast to the rising heat in the lab. She buried her face in my chest, her panic palpable against my shirt.Â
âIs there still blood?â she murmured, voice barely above a whisper.
âMostly gone. But we need to get to the ER,â I insisted, urgency tightening my tone.
She groaned, eyes still shut tight, her composure slipping away.Â
âPlease, open your eyes,â I pleaded, gently lifting her chin. I rubbed my thumb along her cheek, trying to anchor her to reality.
âCan you walk?âÂ
She nodded weakly, but when she tried to stand, her legs buckled. I swept her back up, panic clawing at my throat.Â
What have I done? The air felt thick with dread, and I knew I had to get her out of there.Â
I carried her to my car, the world outside fading into a blur, as if the universe was holding its breath. Carefully, I placed her in the passenger seat, her eyes still shut like she was blocking out the horrors around us. I fastened her seatbelt, feeling the weight of the moment. "Please say something," I urged, glancing at her, desperate for any sign of life.
"I hate blood," she mumbled, voice fragile.
Relief washed over meâshe was talking. It struck me as strange that a pre-med student would detest blood. "Are you still dizzy?"Â
She nodded, and my heart sank at her admission. The crease in her forehead deepened, and I wanted nothing more than to smooth it away.
"Weâll be at the hospital in ten minutes," I promised, focusing on the road ahead.
"Would you distract me, so I donât think about the blood?"Â
"I donât know how," I admitted sheepishly.
"Say something funny."Â
"Funny? Okay. Itâs pretty funny that you want to go to med school and you faint at the sight of blood."Â
"Who says I'm pre-med?" she shot back, and I blinked in surprise.
"You're not?"Â
"No, and that really wasnât funny. Talking about blood isnât going to help me forget about it."Â
Frustration clawed at me as I struggled for something to say.Â
"What do you want me to say?"Â
"Donât you know any jokes?" There was an edge of frustration in her voice.
"No."Â
"Everyone knows at least one joke, Yoongi." The way she said my name sent a jolt through me, tightening my stomach with something close to admiration.
Before I knew it, I blurted out the lamest joke I could remember from college. "Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar," I began, watching her lips twitch upward. "One says, âI think I've lost an electron.â The other asks, âAre you sure?â The first replies, âYes. I'm positive.â"
I cringed at how cheesy it was, but when her smile finally broke through, it felt like winning the lottery.
"That was lame," she said, but the glimmer of her smile gave me hope.
At a red light, I risked a glance at her. Her eyes were still closed, but the pale green tint to her skin had faded, replaced by a healthy glow. My heart swelled with relief.
The driver behind me honked impatiently, snapping me back to reality.
"Does it hurt?" I asked, noticing her fingers curling around her injured wrist.Â
She nodded, a pout forming on her lips that made my heart ache. I nearly missed a stop sign, cursing under my breath.
"God, Iâm such a jerk," I muttered, guilt gnawing at me. I had messed up, all in the name of a stupid joke. I racked my brain for something else to say but came up empty.
"I donât know any more jokes, but I was good at geeky pickup lines back in college," I offered, desperate to lift her spirits. Her smile returned, lighting up the car.
"This better be good," she warned teasingly.
"If I were an enzyme, Iâd be DNA helicase, so I could unzip your genes."Â
"Oh my God," she snorted, and I laughed, relieved to see her react. "Did you use that on anybody?"Â
"Maybe," I hinted, my chest tightening with excitement.
"Did it work?"Â
"No," I admitted, but I was laughing now, and she was grinning, even with her eyes still closed. I was determined to keep her smiling.Â
"Oh! Do you like The Police?"Â
"The police?" She frowned, confusion crossing her features.
"YeahâŠ"Â
"As in the profession?"Â
"No, you dork. The band. Sting's band?"Â
"Oh, yeah. I guess." She shrugged.
And against my better judgment, I cleared my throat and began singing. "Every bond you break⊠Every electron you takeâŠ"
Finally, her eyes fluttered open, surprise and delight dancing across her face. I couldnât help but wiggle my eyebrows, and her smile broadened, banishing the shadows of panic. "Oh, canât you see, youâre covalently bonded to meâŠ" I sang, pouring my energy into the ridiculousness of it. Nothing felt more beautiful than the light in her eyes.Â
How had I never noticed how amazing her smile was before?
We pulled into the Universityâs Medical Center in under ten minutes, just like I expected. I parked quickly and rushed around to help her out, but she stumbled out on her own, nearly losing her balance. I caught her just before she could face plant onto the pavementâor worse, land hard on her injured hand.
I could feel irritation bubbling up inside me. Did she really think I wouldnât help? Sure, I was an idiot sometimes, but I still had a decent sense of gentlemanly instincts.Â
âCan you walk?â I asked, keeping my hand around her elbow as we approached the entrance.
âI think so,â she replied softly, but I kept my grip steady, guiding her into the emergency room.Â
Inside, a flicker of relief hit meâthe place was nearly empty, and we should get seen fairly quickly. âHello,â I said to the front desk lady, who was glued to her computer screen. She glanced up, her expression completely bored, and didnât reply. Instant dislike.Â
âShe cut her hand, and it looks deep,â I said, gesturing toward Y/N beside me.
âName?â The front desk ladyâs question hung in the air like a sword about to drop, and suddenly, I froze.
GoddammitâŠ
She didnât mean my name. My stomach twisted as I desperately searched my memory. I couldnât believe Iâd forgotten her name again.
It starts with a B, doesnât it? I racked my brain, stalling as the front desk ladyâs eyebrows shot up impatiently.
âY/N Y/L/N,â came the shaky voice next to me, cutting through my fog of embarrassment.
God, I was such an idiot! I wanted to punch myself for being so careless.
I looked at herâY/Nâand even though she shook her head, a grin crept onto the corner of her mouth. Maybe, just maybe, I was forgiven. Y/N, Y/N, Y/N⊠I repeated silently, determined that this time I would remember.
I was convinced that the âdoctorâ tending to Y/N wasnât a real doctorânot yet, anyway. He claimed the cut wasnât deep and that it hadnât damaged any tendons or nerves. He even said it was clean enough to glue shut, which apparently was a thing now. But my gut twisted with doubt; something about him set off alarms in my head.
Y/N had her eyes squeezed shut, clutching my hand like it was a lifeline while this wannabe physicianâDoogie Howser, I mentally dubbed himâcleaned her wound. She perched on the examination table, her injured hand resting on a tray beside her, as I stood behind her, anxiety tightening my chest. In the chaos of her injury and my desperate attempts to care for her, her ponytail had loosened, hanging low at the nape of her neck. A sudden curiosity gripped me: What would her hair look like, cascading down like a waterfall?
âY/N,â I whispered, leaning closer, needing to say her name again, to engrain it into my memory. âBreathe through your mouth. Itâll help.â
I lingered near her neck, unable to pull away, drawn by something I couldnât quite name. I tried to find the words to describe her scentâsomething fresh, like the morning air spilling through an open windowâbut words failed me. Iâd caught a hint of it earlier when I held her close at the sink, but now, in the confined space of the ER, it enveloped me, bringing back echoes of happier times.
Y/N smelled goodâno, different. Refreshing, like the world waking up after a long sleep. And I was trapped in this moment, lost in the intoxicating blend of her presence and the sterile smell of antiseptic.
Every time she flinched, my instinct was to lash out at Doogie. I wanted to punch him for every wince that slipped from her lips, but I knew that wouldnât help; it might just make things worse. I fought against the urge to ask the nurse for someone else to help her, terrified to leave her side. So I stayed, fingers entwined with hers, trying to offer some measure of comfort in the storm of uncertainty.
When Doogie finished and began to bandage her hand, I felt a wave of relief wash over me as she released her grip. I stepped back, taking a breath that felt heavy in my chest. Tension still coiled inside me; I hated that sheâd gotten hurt, but a part of me marveled at her resilience. Despite her aversion to blood, she had held herself together with a strength I hadnât given her credit for. There was more to Y/N than I realized, and that realization struck me hard.
âListen, Iâm really sorry,â I said once we were back in the car, the weight of guilt pressing down on me.
âItâs okay. Itâs not your fault Iâm such a klutz.â She offered a radiant smile that twisted my insides with guilt all over again.
âSo, what happened?â I asked tentatively, hoping against hope that this wasnât really my fault.
âI was carrying a rack of test tubes when that thing started shooting vapor out. I freaked out. I thought it was going to explode! So I dropped the tubes and cut my hand trying to pick them up,â she admitted, embarrassment creeping into her voice as she stared down at her hands.
I should have known...
âShitâŠâ I thumped my head against the steering wheel, frustration bubbling up inside me.
âHey, stop.â Her hand reached up to my shoulder, a gentle gesture that only deepened my self-loathing. âYou couldnât possibly have known that thing was going to start leaking, right?â I peeked at her, guilt etched on my face. She scrutinized me, her brow furrowing as realization dawned. âYou did know, didnât you?â Her hand dropped from my shoulder, and I felt the accusation hanging between us like a thick fog.
âY/N, Iâm so sorry,â I said earnestly, trying to convey the depth of my regret, how much I hated myself for her injury.
âYouâre unbelievably cruel!â she shot back, eyebrows knitting together as she glared at me.
She was right, but I felt compelled to explain. âThere wasnât any risk of you getting hurt. The door just leaks a little vapor. I was going to close it after you got scared. It was a stupid joke, Y/N. You werenât supposed to get hurt.â
âWell, excuse me for ruining your prank,â she snapped, rolling her eyes and turning away from me.
Sarcasm. Just lovely.
âI am truly sorry. Can you forgive me?â I asked, keeping my gaze on her even though she pointedly avoided me.
âWhatever, Yoongi.â She shrugged, irritation radiating from her as she stared out the window.
I wanted to tell her she was acting like a child, but I held my tongue, knowing that teasing her wouldnât help my case. Instead, I focused on driving, ruminating on how to make this right again.
How the hell do I fix this?
âStay here. Iâll be right back,â I said to Y/N, trying to sound calm even though a knot twisted in my stomach as I parked in front of the research building.
âThis is really not necessary, Yoongi. Iâm fine,â she replied, brushing off my concern.
âY/N, can you please, just for once, not contradict me?â I shot back, frustration bubbling under the surface.
âI never contradict you!â she protested, eyes wide in disbelief.
I fixed her with a glare until the tension between us shifted, and a small smile broke through her pout as I climbed out of the car. Maybe I was getting through to her, even just a little.
I dashed into the lab to grab her bag, but was abruptly halted when I spotted Jimin hunched over her bench. An urge to warn Y/N about the mess brewing in the autoclave room hit me hard.Â
âJimin?â I called, feeling an unusual tension in the air as he turned to me, eyes wide like Iâd just spoken an alien dialect. We rarely exchanged more than necessary pleasantries. âThereâs a big mess in the autoclave room. Iâll be right back to clean it up.â
âAnd youâre telling me this why?â he shot back, still looking as confused as a cat in a dog park.
âThereâs a bunch of glass⊠I donât know. My undergradâshe dropped the tubes. Iââ The words tumbled out in a jumbled mess, and Jimin continued to stare at me like Iâd just pulled a rabbit out of a hat. âNever mind,â I muttered, eager to escape the awkwardness.
âHowâs that for a change? First, you have her doing your chores, and now youâre cleaning up after her,â he called after me.
I spun around to glare at him, irritation sparking. Sure, he was right, but I had bigger problems than petty lab gossip. I left him behind, shaking off the encounter.
When I climbed back into the car, Y/N was waiting for me, eyebrow raised, holding a CD case. My stomach dropped as I recognized itâmy momâs treasured Carpenters album.
âReally, Yoongi?â she asked, her smile widening. âThe Carpenters? Okay, cool.â She casually tucked the CD case back into the glove box.
She was teasing meâsmiling at me. That had to be a good sign, right? Maybe she had forgiven me after all.
I couldnât help but let my gaze linger on her face, how her smile lit up the whole car. It was stunning; how had I never noticed it before? A pang of regret hit me for all the moments I had let slip by.
âAre you okay?â Y/Nâs voice broke through my thoughts, pulling me back to reality.
âYeah, Iâm fine. Justâuh, howâs your living situation?â I mumbled as I started the car and drove off, reminding myself to keep it together. Sheâs just an undergrad, I thought, shaking off the flutter in my stomach.
As I parked in front of her building, my chest tightened again. I was still angryâmostly at myselfâfor letting her get hurt. I wouldnât feel at ease until she was safely tucked inside her apartment.
âAre you still dizzy?â I asked, unable to hide the concern in my voice.
âI think Iâm all right now,â she replied, a small grin dancing on her lips.
Would it be weird if I walked her to her door? Did guys still do that? It had been ages since Iâd been on a date. What was the protocol these days?
What the hell am I thinking? This isnât a date.
But she didnât look a hundred percent. Maybe carrying her bag would help. I climbed out of the car, and she shot me a bewildered look as I opened her door.
âIâll feel better once I know youâre safe inside,â I insisted, my voice firm.
âIâm fine. You donât havââ
âPlease, humor me,â I interrupted.
Y/N hesitated, then took my hand as she stumbled out of the car. I grabbed her backpack, and we walked inside together, a strange sense of connection warming the air between us.
At her door, she paused, her hand hovering over the doorknob. When she turned to look at me, her brown eyes sparkled with something I couldnât quite pin down.
âIâll see you Tuesday then,â I said, handing her the bag.
âYes. Tuesday.â Her gaze flickered up through her long lashes, and I was momentarily mesmerized. âNot Monday.â A playful grin crept across her face, and I felt my breath catch at the sight of her eyes crinkling with delight. âYou know why not Monday?â
I was still entranced by her smile and completely missed the point she was trying to make. âBecause rainy days and Mondays always get me down,â she said, and heat rushed to my cheeks.
Great⊠sheâs making fun of me.
I took a deep breath and snorted, forcing myself to look away from her lips. âYouâre such a dork, Y/N. How long have you been waiting to say that?â
âToo long.â Her giggle sent my heart racing, a rhythm I couldn't ignore.
âGood night, Y/N,â I replied, managing a smile despite my racing heart.
As I walked back to my car, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the window and was horrified to find myself grinning like a fool. I frowned and climbed inside, but before I could drive away, I pulled my momâs CD from the glove box, popped it in, and began to hum along.
Why do birds suddenly appear⊠every time⊠you are near?
I slammed on the brakes and hit the eject button.
Holy shit, what the hell is wrong with me?
Thankfully, when I returned to the lab, Jimin was gone. I started cleaning up the autoclave room, picking up shards of glass and mopping away the blood from the floor. As I worked, I spotted Y/Nâs lab coat next to the sink, and my heart sank. It didnât look festive anymore; it resembled a tattered Halloween costume.
Shit⊠She loved that ridiculous thing, and now it was ruined.
Before I knew it, I found myself washing the lab coat. I tried everything, even bleach. When I was done, the blood stains had vanished, but so had the whimsical bacteria drawings sheâd painstakingly decorated it with.
Fuck my life...
When Hoseok called, I told him the chances of me making it to Serenaâs party were slim. âIâm stuck in the lab and still have a long way to go,â I said, leaving out the details of my time spent doodling on a lab coat that now looked like a toddlerâs art project. I also didnât mention that I was starting Y/Nâs experiment along with my own.
After inspecting the now-ruined lab coat, I realized I couldnât give it back to her. Tossing it felt wrong, thoughâIâd just spent hours on the damn thing. So, I wrapped it in a plastic bag and tucked it under my desk, trying to forget it existed.
I left the lab after two in the morning, exhausted but restless. My mind buzzed with thoughts, not about experiments this time, but about Y/Nâhow she had gotten hurt because of me, and yet she hadnât unleashed her fury. Somehow, she felt bigger than this. Bigger than me.
God, Iâve been such an asshole.
Images of her haunted me throughout the night. The way she smiled at my lame jokes, how she laughed at my terrible rendition of âEvery Breath You Take.â I couldnât remember the last time Iâd sung to someone, not since my mom had forced me to sing The Carpenters with her. I turned over in bed, a smile creeping onto my face at the memory.
I didnât have to be a jerk to Y/N anymore. I didnât want to be. It wasnât her fault grad school was a pain. If anything, having her around made it bearable. Maybe I could lighten up a bit⊠or maybe we could both learn something from this. No, I wanted to be nicer to her. I wanted to see her smile.
I want to make her smile?
First The Carpenters, now this?
When did I turn into such a marshmallow?
Monday night in the dingy gym felt like a scene straight out of a bad movie. The fluorescent lights flickered overhead, casting a harsh, sterile glow that did nothing to uplift the atmosphere. Hoseok and I were at the bench press, trading off sets like two battered soldiers in a war that would never be chronicled. I stood behind him, bracing for the weight, but my gaze was pulled away, caught in the orbit of something infinitely more captivating.
There she wasâY/Nâeffortlessly gliding on the treadmill like she was born to run. Her ponytail swung rhythmically with each stride, a pendulum marking the time as she jogged. My breath hitched, a tightening in my chest as I let my eyes wander down her back, tracing the delicate curve of her spine. And thenâoh Godâthose shorts. Tiny and black, they hugged her body in a way that made my heart race uncontrollably.
The fabric didnât just cling; it cradled her curves, indenting just enough in the middle to draw the eye downwards. I could almost feel the heat radiating off her skin, my mind spiraling into places I really didnât want it to go.
âDude! Hold the bar, would ya?â Hoseokâs voice jolted me from my daze. I blinked hard, shaking off the spell as I refocused on the weights pressing down on him.
âRight, sorry,â I mumbled, fumbling with the bar as I lifted it off him.
Hoseok wiped the sweat from his brow, the glistening drops catching the unforgiving light. I tried desperately to keep my thoughts in check, to suppress the smirk that threatened to creep onto my face, but my eyes betrayed me, fixating once more on Y/Nâs ass as it bounced with every determined step on the treadmill.
âWhat is it?â Hoseok shot me a sideways glance, amusement dancing in his eyes. He knew. Damn him. âYou look like a kid in a candy store.â
âNothing,â I shot back, the word cracking like ice beneath my weight. I raked a hand through my hair, feeling more like a deer caught in headlights than a man. âThatâs... um... thatâs my undergrad.â
âYour undergrad?â He nearly shouted, and I winced at the volume.
âShut up!â I hissed, heat creeping up my neck.
âSheâs your undergrad?â He lowered his voice, his tone conspiratorial, as if we were discussing some top-secret mission.
âYes,â I said, willing myself to tear my gaze from Y/N and muster some semblance of composure. âI donât know why sheâs here. This is the first time Iâve seen her in this gym.â
âAre you kidding?â Hoseok replied, incredulous. âSheâs here all the time! Youâve just never noticed because youâre practically blind.â
My eyes darted back to her. She was still running, blissfully unaware of the storm brewing behind me. Could Hoseok really be right? Had I been so wrapped up in my own world that I hadnât seen her before?
But then again, I didnât recognize anyone else in this place. I came here every dayâevery damn dayâand not one face looked familiar. Blind. I was completely blind.
And yet, here I was, rooted to the spot, entranced by the hypnotic sway of her hips, the way her legs flexed with each determined stride. It was as if she had cast a spell over me, one I didnât want to break. But I had to; I was standing there like a moron, the weight of Hoseokâs gaze a smirk stretched across his face as he shifted to take his place on the bench.
âYoongi!â he called, pulling me from my daydream. âItâs your turn.â
I shook my head as if waking up from a fog and stepped to the bench, but my mind remained tangled in thoughts of what Iâd just seen. Y/Nâs form, bouncing like it was teasing me, was too much. Too distracting. My body was responding in ways I hadnât felt in years, and it took every ounce of willpower to focus on lifting weights instead of ogling her.
Then, as if she sensed my eyes on her, Y/N turned her head slightly, her gaze locking with mine. For a brief moment, the world melted awayâthe gym, the weight, the noiseâall faded into the background as our eyes met. She faltered on the treadmill, her grip tightening on the bars like a lifeline before she recovered just in time.
What was I doing? I didnât realize I was moving until I stood beside her, the tension thick enough to slice through the air.
âHi,â I managed, the word slipping out like a confession.
âHi?â Her smile lit up the stale space between us, brightening everything. âWho are you and what did you do to my bitter grad student?â
âWhat?â I stammered, disbelief knotting my stomach. âYouâve seen me here before?â
*Her eyes rolled in a way that was both exasperating and endearing. âYes.â
âWell, Iâm saying hi now. So, hi.â
âHiâŠâ she giggled, and I felt a low groan bubble up from my chest. What was happening? I hated how she made me feel, how she toppled everything I thought I had under control.
âHowâs your hand?â I asked, grasping for something to anchor myself in this whirlwind of emotions.
âItâs fine,â she said, lifting her bandaged hand like it was a trophy. But I was lost, mesmerized by the way her lips moved, the way she tucked her hair behind her ear, and how the sweat glistened on her skin.
I needed to leave before my body betrayed me further. âUm, I should go,â I interrupted, offering a shaky goodbye as I fled, a whirlwind of confusion and unwanted desire crashing over me.
What the hell was happening to me?
I ran home, my legs pumping, heart racing, trying to outrun the chaotic thoughts swirling in my mind. It had been four years since Estelle, and the memory felt as distant as a long-forgotten dream. But Y/N was everywhere now, invading my thoughtsâher freckles, her laugh, those bangs that had once annoyed me but now framed her face like a masterpiece.
I stormed through my apartment, shedding my sweat-soaked clothes, bewildered by this tempest of feelings. I couldnât fathom why it had taken me so long to notice her, why she had pierced through the fog of my indifference and settled in my mind like an unwelcome guest.
In the shower, the warm water cascaded over me, soothing yet insufficient to wash away the turmoil. She was a kid, for Christâs sake! Nineteen? Twenty? Too young, too innocent for someone like me. I banged my head against the tiled wall, cursing my own weakness.
And yet, even as I stood there, I could feel her presence lingering, like a ghost clinging to the edges of my consciousnessâa haunting I couldnât shake. Was I becoming one of those men who pursued young girls, crossing lines drawn in the sand, sliding down that slippery slope of desire? The universe had a wicked sense of humor.
God, I hoped I wouldnât see her again at the gym. The very thought sent a chill down my spineâa mix of longing and guilt. But there I was, fantasizing about her hands instead of my own.
When did I become such a creep?
Iâm in a foul mood. Not a glimmer of sunshine inside me, just the dense fog of irritability that seems to thicken the air around me. Maybe itâs the weight of the world pressing down on my shoulders, or maybe itâs just Tuesday. Either way, I know Iâll probably regret having lunch with Hoseok today, but deep down, Iâm still holding onto the hope that, by some miracle, he didnât notice my bizarre behavior at the gym last night.
As I step into the lunchroom, Hoseokâs voice slices through the stillness. âWhat the heck happened to you yesterday?â
Well, so much for miracles.
âNothing. Why?â I try to sound casual as I toss my food into the microwave, but my heart races in protest.
âNothing? You nearly killed me, bolted off to talk to Y/N, and then stormed out. That seems normal to you?â He raises an eyebrow, a mischievous grin stretching across his face.
I shrug, feigning indifference, but my stomach twists.
âWe were supposed to have drinks with Serena and her friend with theââ he gestures dramatically, âthe big personality.â
âListen, you and Serena need to stop setting me up with her friends.â
âWhy? Did you take a vow of celibacy or something?â
âIâm just not in the mood for this today, Hoseok.â I plop down in a chair, my food forgotten.
âIs it because of Y/N?â he asks, cheeks bulging with half-chewed food.
âNo,â I reply, fighting the urge to roll my eyes. âAnd her name is Y/N, by the way.â
âOH. MY. GOSH. It is! Youâre totally crushing on her!â Hoseok leaps from his chair, fork aimed at me like a weapon. His eyes widen as if heâs just uncovered a major conspiracy.
âWhat? NO!â
âDude, you remembered her name!â He plops back down beside me, practically vibrating with excitement.
âHoseok, what does thatââ
âOh man. This is too good... like, really, really good.â His grin is the kind that makes me want to punch himâor maybe just smack some sense into him.
âHoseok, please. Just for one dayâŠâ I rub my forehead, trying to ease the confusion tightening my temples. The last thing I need is Hoseokâs theories swirling around my mind like a chaotic storm.
âOkay, okayâŠâ He continues to chew, stealing glances at me every few seconds. âSo, whenâs Yoonji coming?â he asks, smirking, and I shoot him a glare that could curdle milk.
So what if I remembered her name? It hardly means anything. Iâve been working with her for weeks now. Iâm not some clueless idiot; I can remember a name. I donât care what Hoseok or Yoonji think. This is nothing. This doesnât mean anything.
Except it does. Because Y/N, not âthe girlâ or âthe undergrad,â is going to be in the lab when I return. And Iâm not just aware of itâIâm looking forward to it. I want to see her smile, to hear her laugh.
I want to hear her giggle? Jesus, I need to get a grip on myself.
My bad mood evaporates the moment I spot Y/N at my bench, scribbling away in her notepad. Her hair cascades over her shoulder, wild and free. It should bother meâshould send alarm bells ringingâbut it doesnât. It looks soft and inviting, and suddenly, all I want is to run my fingers through it.
Okay⊠Iâve really lost it now.
And just like that, my bad mood crashes back in.
âI canât find my lab coat,â she says, tying her hair up with an intensity that almost makes me envious.
I feel a spark of irritation at the safety rules that dictate her hair must be tied back. I find myself imagining the kinds of experiments that would allow her to leave it down, just so I could watch it flow freely.
âDo you know where it could be?â she asks, glancing up at me.
Iâve completely lost track of her words, staring at her blankly.
âMy lab coat?â she repeats, tilting her head.
Right⊠the lab coat.
âLet me get you a new one. That one was all covered in blood.â
âNo, itâs fine. Iâll wash it.â
âWe have lab coats here, Y/Nânew ones. Iâll get you one,â I say, moving past her, determination pushing me forward.
She stops me, grabbing my elbow. âPlease, can I have my old one back?â Her eyes are wide and earnest, as if I hold the key to some sacred treasure.
A flush of embarrassment rises in me, and instead of confessing, I lie. âI threw it away.â
âWhat? Why?â Her gaze pierces through my flimsy excuse.
âIt was covered in blood!â I bark, frustration bubbling over.
âI could have washed it!â she snaps, defiance igniting her eyes.
âIâm getting you a new one.â
âI donât want a new one. Is this some cruel joke? Because if it is, Iâd really, really like my lab coat back. It means a lot to me.â The shift in her expression from anger to sadness tugs at something deep within me. Her eyes glisten with unshed tears, like Iâve just crushed her puppy.
Realization washes over me like a cold wave: Iâm making her cry. With a deep sigh, I relent. âOkay, I didnât get rid of it.â
âOh thank God,â she breathes, closing her eyes in relief.
âBut⊠I tried to wash it, and the bloodstains wouldnât come out. I thought it would be a good idea to use bleach. And it was. I mean, it got rid of the bloodstains, but it also erased your drawings.â
âOh noâŠâ Her eyes fly open, panic etching her features.
âIâm sorry. Can I please get you a new one?â I plead, hoping to smooth over this disaster before it spirals further.
âI would really prefer to have my old one back,â she insists, crossing her arms defiantly, her gaze unwavering.
Jesus! Why does she have to be so difficult?
âYouâre not going to let this go, are you?â I groan. Sheâs staring at me like sheâs just won the lottery, and I canât bring myself to back down. âFineâŠâ I reach under my desk for the bag containing her lab coat and hand it over, feeling like Iâm offering her a corpse.
I should have burned the damn thing.
Her gasp as she pulls the coat from the bag makes my stomach drop.
âOh my gosh!â She turns it around, inspecting the shapes I drew in a moment of misguided creativity. When she spots my pathetic attempt at rewriting âBacteria Ruleâ on the back, she giggles, and I swear my heart stumbles.
How do I keep up with her?
One minute, sheâs annoyed; the next, sheâs crying; now, sheâs laughing. Itâs like watching a storm change directions on a whim.
âYou⊠did you do this?â She glances up at me, her eyelashes still damp, and my chest tightens painfully.
âYeah, it looks even more ridiculous now. Didnât think that was possible. Would you please let me get you a new one?â
âOh no. Iâm wearing this one,â she chirps, slipping her arms into the sleeves like sheâs donning a crown.
âPlease say youâre kidding.â
âWhat? Itâs perfect!â she beams, buttoning the coat closed, that radiant smile piercing through my irritation.
Even as she parades around in that god-awful coat, all I can think about is pulling her close and kissing her senseless. Itâs ridiculous and utterly baffling, but I canât shake it.
I really must have lost it now.
The morning air felt heavy, thick with a strange malaise that weighed on me like a thick blanket. "So, what's on the agenda for today, Boss?" Y/N chirped, her pen clicking in a cheerful rhythm as she flipped open her notebook, the sound almost irritatingly upbeat.
"Donât call me Boss," I grumbled, trying to shake off the oppressive darkness that seemed to cling to me like damp fog.
"Okay, Grumpy. What are we doing today?" Her smile was a bright spark against the backdrop of my brooding mood.
I could tell she was trying to be funny, deliberately poking at my irritation. With an exasperated huff, I shoved the list of activities at her. "Try not to mess up this time, Becca."
She took the list with a theatrical pout, and I stifled a real smile beneath my carefully crafted mask of indifferenceâa skill I'd perfected over the years.Â
Her brow furrowed as she scanned the list. "I thought I was starting from scratch."
"You are," I replied, trying to keep my tone as casual as possible.
"But you did all these steps already." She pointed to the initial tasks, her voice laced with disbelief.
"I was bored Saturday," I said, as if boredom were an acceptable excuse for taking the initiative.
Her eyes darted between the list and mine, a spark of awe lighting up her face. "You started my experiment for me?"
The way she looked at me made my skin crawlâa mixture of discomfort and something warmer I didnât want to acknowledge. I clamped down on my tongue, suppressing the urge to explain myself.Â
"You better get cracking, Y/L/N. There's a seminar at four I want to attend."
Her gaze lingered on me a moment longer before she shook it off, returning to her notebook. A sense of relief washed over me.Â
We worked in silence, but I could feel her stealing glances at me like a kid peeking into a haunted house. I knewâI just knewâI had crossed some invisible line. What I felt was tangled, a confusion I was desperate to untangle.
"Whatâs the seminar about?" she asked, her voice light with curiosity as we carried bottles of growth media to the incubators.
"I donât know," I said, holding the door for her as we entered the incubator room.
"Then why are you going?" She squatted to stow the bottles inside, her dark hair falling around her face like a curtain.
"Free food." I shrugged, trying to sound indifferent.
"Seriously?" She looked up at me, disbelief written all over her features.
"Y/N⊠if you go to grad school, youâll learn to appreciate the majesty of free food."
When she stood up, she released my hand with a huff, her pride surfacing. "When I go to grad school, Iâll enjoy the seminars, even without the free food."
"RightâŠ" I turned away, shaking my head.
"So, can I come?" she asked shyly, her voice nearly drowned out by the hum of the incubators.
"You want to come to the seminar?" I shot her a skeptical glance.
"Hells to the yeah!"Â
I suppressed a snort, the surprise of her enthusiasm bubbling up inside me. "Why?"
"I might learn something."
"Okay, you can come, but the la-la-lab coat stays."Â
The thought of her actually being excited about attending a seminar with me sent a strange thrill through my chest, one that both excited and unnerved me.
As we made our way to the seminar, Y/N rattled on about her dreams for grad school, her voice bubbling over with energy. I struggled to interject, her words flowing like a vibrant stream, full of life.
When we reached the seminar room, she shook her head at my heaping plate of food. I settled into my seat, grateful for the chance to hide from the annoyed glances of the people behind us. Y/N plopped down beside me, her nervous energy radiating from her.
"That one with the sweater vest is Prof. Waylon," I said, nodding toward him. "He has a serious case of narcolepsy. Snores through the entire talk but wakes up right on cue to ask the hardest questions."
She giggled, and the sound pierced through the fog that had settled around me.
"And over there, with the red bow tie, is Dr. Amun-Kebi. Brilliant but completely bonkersâhe discovered Quorum Sensing, yet canât make eye contact because heâs too busy staring at the ceiling."
She snorted, laughter bubbling up as she covered her mouth, her joy infectious.
"Then thereâs Jin," I continued, "who dresses like heâs going to a board meeting every day. Knows more adjectives than a thesaurus, but his favorite is definitely 'fascinating.'"
I mimicked Jinâs exaggerated tone, and Y/N laughed again, drawing some disapproving throat-clearing from the folks behind us.
"Main point is, Y/N," I said, "science makes you lose your mind. Youâve been warned."
"Oh, I think I can handle it," she replied, winking at me, and my heart twisted painfully in my chest.
As the speaker began, I couldn't help but chuckle when I noticed her furiously scribbling notes as if her life depended on it.
Once the seminar ended, we returned to the lab. Y/N still had work to catch up on after being away for an hour. Iâd finished my tasks long ago, but I lingered, a shadow in the corner, unwilling to leave her alone in this sterile, fluorescent-lit space.
She closed her notebook with a satisfying smack and turned to me, her eyes bright. "This is so exciting! I canât wait to see if it works this time."
"Yeah, youâll get over it," I said, trying to keep my tone light.
"Have you always been such a grump? Or was there a time when you actually liked what you do?"
Her question hit me like a punch to the gut, catching me off guard. I could feel her gaze piercing through my defenses.
"I like what I do."
"Do you love it?"
Her question hung in the air like a dark cloud, and I found myself lost in a maze of memories, the joy of discovery overshadowed by the weight of expectations. Had there ever been a time when I shared her enthusiasm?
"I donât really remember," I mumbled, avoiding the truth. "Itâs getting late, Y/N. How are you getting home?"
"Iâm walking."
"Iâm walking too. Letâs go."
Did I used to love what I did? The memory felt elusive, slipping through my fingers like water.
As we walked, Y/N asked, "Why did you decide to go to grad school?"
"Why does anyone?" I shot back, a cryptic smirk teasing my lips.
"To make a difference? To revolutionize the field?"
"Very cute, Y/N."
"Itâs not cute. Itâs true."
"Is that why you want to go to grad school?"
"Yes. Iâve always wanted to help people. Since medical school is out of the question for meâ"
"Youâll get over the smell of blood, Y/N."
"Itâs not just that. I get too attached. Iâd rather contribute silently from the lab." She smiled, her eyes sparkling. "Plus, where would medicine be without science? Theyâd still be pouring hot oil into wounds!"
I chuckled, a genuine laugh bubbling up like warmth breaking through winterâs chill. "Youâre funny." The words slipped out before I could think better of it, and before I could process my thoughts, my fingers brushed against her arm, lingering over the fabric of her hoodie.
She halted, her cheeks tinged pink, her bottom lip caught between her teeth.
I froze, my hand dropping to my side, panic racing through me. That had to be inappropriate.
"Iâve been called worse," she joked, her smile radiating a warmth that sent shivers down my spine.
We walked on in silence until we reached her building.
"Do you live on campus too?" she asked, fishing for her keys from her bag.
"No. I live in Portage Bay."
"Oh⊠we passed that already."
"I know."
Suspicion flared in her gaze as she pieced things together, and I felt the weight of my own guilt creeping up on me. She would realize I was that gross old grad student trying to woo the sweet, naive undergradâthe very person I had mocked in others. The thought made my stomach churn.
"I know what youâre doing," she accused, crossing her arms defensively.
Here it comesâŠ
"You feel guilty because I got hurt," she said, her voice steady. "You feel responsible. But you donât have to do this."
Is that really what she thought?
"You think Iâm walking you home out of guilt?" My voice was harsher than I intended, anger bubbling up inside me.
"I know you are."
"You donât know anything," I spat, turning away, desperate to escape the rising tide of emotions threatening to drown me.
"Yoongi, wait!" she called after me, dread washing over me.
Keep walking⊠donât look back.
I couldnât believe she thought I was being nice out of guilt. I had done nothing but act like a jerk for too long, and now I was about to lose the only flicker of light stupid, lonely world.
God, she had no clue.
Wednesday morning felt heavy with an unsettling quiet when Y/N arrived at the lab a little earlier than usual. I was already there, lurking like a shadow in the corner, unable to shake off the ghosts of a sleepless night. I busied myself with the equipment, clinging to the hope that keeping my distance would somehow quell the anger simmering beneath my skin.
It was confusing, really. I was furious with herânot just because of the injury that haunted my thoughts like a ghost, but because she had twisted my kindness into something it wasnât. Sure, I felt like a hollow shell, the guilt gnawing at my insides like a rat in a rotting wall, but that didnât mean I didnât enjoy walking her home. Yesterdayâs seminar had been a strange kind of funâthe first Iâd experienced in what felt like ages.
As I returned to the lab, pretending to check something in my desk drawer, I caught her gaze from across the bench. The way her eyes followed me stirred something deep inside, a mix of frustration and longing I couldnât quite place. I tried to slip away, but as I turned to leave, her fingers brushed against my elbow.
âHey, Iâm sorry about yesterday,â she said, her voice soft and sincere, those puppy-dog eyes piercing through my defenses. Warmth rushed through me, a strange blend of emotions swirling inside. âIt was really nice of you to walk with me. Thank you.â
With a timid smile, she released my arm, leaving me reeling, torn between the urge to pull her back and the need to retreat. Just then, I caught sight of Jimin, his piercing blue eyes wide with suspicion from the shadows of the lab. What the hell?
âYouâre welcome,â I muttered dryly to Y/N, my voice almost a growl, before storming away, seeking refuge from the chaos in my head.
In the media preparation room, I paced like a caged animal, cracking my knuckles repeatedly to chase away the madness. This was absurd. I was losing it over a girlâan undergradâwho seemed blissfully unaware of the tempest she stirred within me. Deep breaths. Focus. But I knew this strange obsession wasnât going anywhere.
When I returned to the lab, I found Jungkook leaning casually against my bench, chatting with Y/N. She wore that timid smile again, twisting something inside me. My hands curled into fists, rage and jealousy flaring up like a wildfire.
âIâll see you Friday,â Jungkook said, flashing a grin as he sauntered past me. Did he just ask her out? The urge to grab him by the ponytail and shove him to the floor was overwhelming. âWhat did he want?â I spat, unable to contain the fury boiling within.
âNothing,â she replied innocently, her attention flitting back to her notebook as if she hadnât just tossed gasoline on my fire.
âY/N,â I hissed, slicing through the air with my words, demanding her attention. âWhat did he want?â
âNothing important,â she clarified, but her eyes locked onto mine, searching. My resolve wavered. What the hell was wrong with me? The desire to pummel Jungkook quickly transformed into an intense longing to press my lips against that bottom lip she kept biting. The confusion swirled around us, thick and suffocating, and I felt trapped.
Just then, Jimin reentered the lab, breaking the spell that had ensnared us. I stepped back, the tension snapping like a brittle twig, and Y/N sighed, disappointment heavy in the air.
âAre you done?â I asked, my voice cold, each word laced with the weight of my internal turmoil. âI need to use the bench.â
Hurt flickered in her eyes before she masked it, and guilt settled in my stomach like a stone. I tried to focus on my work, but her presence lingered, a distraction gnawing at my concentration until she finally left for the day. This is ridiculous! Why did she affect me so much? I couldnât keep living like this.
Thursday afternoon arrived, and I maneuvered around Y/N like a ghost. I didnât want to be a jerk, but the thought of her and Jungkook had me seething. It felt like every nerve in my body was on fire, irritation coiling tighter with every passing second. I tried to stick to succinct answers and instructions, but the tension thickened around us like fog.
As we received her sequencing results, I could no longer pretend she didnât exist. She pulled a chair next to me at my desk, her presence suffocatingly close. My fingers twitched on the mouse, nerves sparking as I avoided glancing her way. She tapped her pen rhythmically; each tap a countdown to my sanity.
âPlease, stop that,â I groaned, frustration spilling over.
She halted instantly, a sigh escaping her lips, and my heart sank. I hated feeling this wayâtrapped between annoyance and an attraction that sent shivers down my spine. How was that even possible?
Finally, the software loaded, and I opened her file. Y/N gasped, and I held my breath as she leaned closer, the tension between us palpable.
âSample 1. Ran well. Sample 2. Ran well⊠ran well, ran well, ran wellâŠâ All fifty samples had run flawlessly. Impressive. I couldnât recall a time when every single sequencing reaction had succeeded; there was always a failure or two. Y/N was undeniably skilled.
As I turned to her, a smile crept onto my lips despite myself. Her eyes sparkled with joy, and before I could process it, she squeaked, throwing her arms around my neck. Her warmth enveloped me, her hair brushing against my face, and the world narrowed to just her, the scent of her shampoo intoxicating. My body responded in ways I couldnât understand.
I shot up from my chair, breaking the spell. âSorry,â she mumbled, her cheeks a deep crimson, laughter spilling from her lips. âIâm just so happy! They all worked!â
My heart raced, shock coursing through me as I struggled to regain composure. The pull I felt toward her was almost unbearable, thrumming like an electric wire, demanding release.
âGood job,â I managed, forcing my voice to remain steady. But as she smiled at me, her joy tearing through my carefully constructed barriers, I knew I was in deep trouble. I wanted to hold her again, to kiss her until the world faded away. God, I needed help.
As I turned to her, a smile crept onto my lips despite myself. Her eyes sparkled with joy, and before I could process it, she squeaked, throwing her arms around my neck, her warmth enveloping me, her hair brushing against my face. The world narrowed to just her, the scent of her shampoo intoxicating, my body responding in ways I couldnât understand.Â
God, I needed help.
You know those days when nothing seems to go right? When you drag yourself out of bed, and it feels like the universe is playing tricks on you, pushing you back with every step forward? Yeah, today is one of those days. A downright miserable Friday, and I canât help but feel that the promise of the weekend is just a hollow consolation.
This morning was a disaster. I tossed and turned all night, haunted by thoughts of Y/N. Her smile flickered in my mind like a candle caught in the windâwarm and inviting one moment, then snuffed out the next. The irony is, while Iâm relieved I wonât have to face her today, the gnawing uncertainty of whether sheâs out with Jungkook weighs heavily in my stomach. Anger simmers beneath my skin, bubbling over in waves I canât seem to control.
As I step into the lunchroom, the emptiness greets me, broken only by the taunting hum of the microwave. I slam my fist against its cold metal side, frustrated when it refuses to cooperate. It beeps at me, a cruel mockery in the sterile silence. I slam the door shut again, and my temper flares.
âWhat did the microwave do to you?â A familiar voice cuts through my frustration. Itâs Hoseok, ever the jester, his amusement practically radiating off him.
âItâs broken,â I mutter, fingers still mashing buttons like a madman.
âStep away from the microwave,â he orders, a playful yet firm tone in his voice. In two quick moves, heâs heating up my food. âWhatâs up your ass?â
âNothing,â I groan, flopping down in a chair with a defeated sigh. âJust one of those days.â
âWhy?âÂ
âItâs just one of those daysâŠâ I canât muster the energy to say more.
âLike, âEverythingâs messed up and everyone sucksâ?â He turns his baseball cap backward, bobbing his head as if ready to launch into a nu-metal anthem.
âGreat, Hoseok. Quote Limp Bizkit. Thatâs really going to help.â I cut him off before he can get into full swing.
âDude, youâre in a mood. What happened?â His eyes reflect genuine concern as he rummages through the fridge.
âNothing,â I insist, rising to retrieve my Tupperware.
âBullshit. Iâve known you for four years. This isnât just a failed PCR kind of mood.â He crosses his arms, blocking my path.
Part of me wants to spill my guts, but the words feel lodged in my throat. Still, they tumble out. âIf I tell you, can you at least try to be mature about it?â
âMature is my middle name,â he grins, but I canât help but scowl.
âFine. Itâs Y/N.â
âI knew it! I fucking knew it!âÂ
I bury my face in my hands, feeling the weight of his excitement pressing down on me. âWhat happened?â he whispers, leaning in, all ears.
âSheâs... I donât know.â
âCome on, man. Iâm serious.â
âYeah, sheâs out with Jungkook.â
âJungkook?â Hoseokâs voice rises as if heâs just spotted a raccoon in the hall.
âJesus, Hoseok!â I hiss. âKeep it down!â
âSorry.â His whisper is tinged with amusement. âJungkook fucking Jeon?â
âYes.â I take a deep breath, frustration bubbling over. âAnd sheâs my undergrad.â
âPuh-lease. Who cares?âÂ
âIâm at least five years older than her,â I retort.
âThe younger, the better.â He waggles his eyebrows, clearly enjoying this way too much.
âDisgusting.â
âStop brooding, dude. Jeonâs got nothing on you. Go get your girl. Sheâs fine, and she was always checking you out at the gymâlike I told you a thousand times.â
Y/N checking me out? No way. Hoseokâs just being delusional. I shake my head, dismissing his words. This fixation has to end. Sheâs just my undergrad. Thatâs all sheâll ever beâat least thatâs what I keep telling myself.
Happy Hour. The name is ironic, a pathetic excuse for minglingâif you can even call it that. It never lasts an hour, and âhappyâ is a stretch, but hey, thereâs free beer, so here I am. Alone in the corner, I down red cups like they might wash away the grime of the day. By the time Hoseok and Serena finally stroll in, Iâve polished off four.
âYouâre here before us. Thatâs weird,â Serena quips as they approach.
âThanks for the observation, Captain Obvious.âÂ
âWhatâs his problem?â Serena glares at Hoseok, arms crossed.
âHeâs in a mood,â Hoseok replies, handing me another red cup that I chug.
âWhy?â Her tone is whiny, as if I owe her an explanation.
âLady problems,â Hoseok shoots back before I can stop him.
âYoongi has lady problems?â Serena sounds incredulous, as if sheâs just discovered a new planet.
âIâm standing right here!â My voice is louder than I intended, laced with irritation.
âSo you like a girl, Yoongi. Not the end of the world. I mean, this self-imposed celibacy was bound to end someday. I just wish I knew who she is.â She twists the conversation back to herself, as always.
âItâs not just a girl. Itâs his undergrad,â Hoseok interjects, unable to contain his enthusiasm.
âYou old perv!â Serena playfully smacks my chest, and I can feel the heat rise in my cheeks.
âIâm going to get fired,â I murmur, tipping my cup back for the last drops of liquid courage.
âNo, you wonât, drama queen.â She dismisses me with a wave, annoyance radiating off her.
âIt happens all the time! PIs hit on post-docs, post-docs on grad students, grads on undergrads. What world do you live in?â
âItâs like a jungle,â Hoseok chuckles.
âShut up, Hoseok,â Serena snaps. âGood news is, now that thereâs this girl, you can stop with the emo bitterness. Itâs getting old.â
âFuck you, Serena.â
âHey, hey now,â Hoseok says, grabbing my arm. âLetâs go get another round.â
When we return, my anger toward Serena simmers just beneath the surface, but Iâm too tipsy to think straight. âFor your information, Serena, this girl has a name. Her name is Becca. No, wait... itâs Y/N! Dammit!â My palm meets my forehead in a facepalm of pure embarrassment.
âWow. She must be something special, Yoongi. You donât even know her name.â
âBaby, stop. Heâs drunk, and heâs having a shitty day.â
âWhy?âÂ
âY/N is out with Jungkook,â Hoseok explains.
âJeon?â Serenaâs expression shifts to one of shock, and they dive into speculation, completely oblivious to my presence.
I shut them out, groaning into my cup as I gulp it down. Itâs true. I know it. Jungkook is with Y/N tonight, probably taking her to dinner and drinks, sharing laughs while Iâm stuck here. My mind spirals into a dark abyssâwhat if he kisses her? What if she invites him in? God, Iâm sick just thinking about it.
Of all the undergrads in this department, Jungkook Jeon had to go after mine. I hope Y/N gets drunk and spills her drink all over him.
Worst. Hangover. Ever.
Well, maybe not the worst, but itâs definitely up there. My head pounds like a jackhammer, and my stomach feels like a chaotic whirlpool of regret as I stumble into the shower. The hot water cascades over me, a fleeting relief, but all I can think about is how tempting sleep sounds right now. But I have things to do in the lab. Donât I always?
The apartment is a total disaster zoneâa messy tribute to last nightâs antics. Red cups are scattered across the coffee table like the remnants of a forgotten battle, and chip crumbs litter the floor like confetti from a party that had long overstayed its welcome. Hoseok and Serena wouldnât leave me alone last night, terrified Iâd do something reckless, so we ended up bringing Happy Hour back to my place. I was just the third wheel, watching them get lost in their own world of laughter and flirting. By the time I woke up on the couch, blanketed by a pile of crumpled chips, they were long gone.
I shuffle into the library, desperate for my usual caffeine fix on the way to the lab, but my stomach is rebelling. Still, I know Iâll need that coffee to survive the day.
Inside, the library feels like a claustrophobic hive of undergrads buzzing around like over-caffeinated bees. Itâs overwhelming.
What a nightmare!
I hurry to the coffee line, pouring sugar into my mug like itâs a lifeline. Just as I catch my breath, I spot herâY/Nâsitting at a table surrounded by a fortress of books. Her hair falls like a curtain, hiding her face from view. I canât help myself; Iâm drawn to her, like a moth to a flame.
âHello, Y/N,â I say, sliding into the chair across from her.
She looks up, surprise flickering across her features, and for a moment, my heart races.Â
âOh, so Iâm back to being Y/N?â Thereâs no hint of humor in her voice, only seriousness, and it feels like a punch to the gut.
Whatâs going on? Whereâs the smile that usually lights up her face?
âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â I ask, trying to keep my tone light as I settle in.
âWhat are you doing here?â she replies, her gaze cool and collected.
âY/N, please go easy on me today. Iâm not feeling great,â I admit, running a hand down my face, feeling every ache from the night before.
âOh... whatâs wrong?â Her stoic facade starts to crumble, replaced by genuine concern, and it warms me a bit.
âToo much beer,â I confess, and the word makes my stomach churn at the memory of my poor choices.
âI see... does that explain this?â She pulls out her phone and turns it toward me.
Grumpy: Becca, youâve just revealed yourself to have absolutely no taste.
âWho the hell is Grumpy, and why does he call you Becca?â I blurt out, anger bubbling up before I can stop it.
Her eyes widen in disbelief. âYouâre the only Grumpy I know.â
âAre you saying I sent you that text?âÂ
âYes,â she says, sighing as her eyes drift away like leaves in the wind.
I pull my phone from my pocket, my heart sinking as I check my sent texts.
Well, greatâŠ
âIâm sorry,â I mumble, rubbing my eyes, wishing I could take back last nightâs mistakes.
âIâm not sure I understand what you mean either. No taste in what? Music? Food? Men?âÂ
âMen?â I let out a dry laugh. âJungkook is not a man. Heâs a tool.â
âSo this is about Jungkook?â she says, gesturing to her phone.
âYes.â My brain feels sluggish, like Iâm moving through molasses.
âWhy do you care?âÂ
âIâm uncomfortable with you dating my classmate,â I say, crossing my arms over my chest, trying to appear nonchalant.
âHeâs not your classmate, and weâre not dating.â
âWe both started our PhDs at the same time in the same program. That makes him my classmate⊠Wait⊠youâre not dating?â
âNot that itâs any of your business, but no. We went out for coffee, talked, he asked me out again, and I kindly declined. Iâm focused on my studies right now, Yoongi, and I really donât have room for anything more.â
âOhâŠâ Relief floods through me, even as my hangover rages on. I might even be smiling.
âYes, oh indeed. Which brings me back to why youâre sitting here distracting me from my study session.â
âWhat are you studying?â I ask softly, a smile creeping onto my face, hoping to steer the conversation away from Jungkook.
âI have an organic chemistry exam on Monday.â
âOh, I seeâŠâ I hesitate, but the temptation of spending time with her outweighs my growing pile of work in the lab. âWell, it might just be your lucky day, Y/L/N, because I happen to be an expert in all things organic chemistry.â
âYou are?â Her lips curl into a small grin, and I feel a surge of relief wash over me. Sheâs back.
âI amâŠâ I smile at her. âSo, do you want some help?â
âI could use some help.â
Help⊠yeah⊠thatâs what Iâm here for⊠help.
For the next two hours, I guide Y/N through her organic reaction problem sets, all while ignoring my cooling coffee. Sheâs a quick study, soaking up the information, and Iâm confident sheâll ace her test on Monday.
I keep my hands clasped between my kneesâexcept when I need to draw reactions for herâwanting to hide how my fingers twitch every time she brushes her hair behind her ear.
Y/N is focused on her notebook, but the third time I yawn, she looks up at me.
âAre you okay?âÂ
âYeah, just tired. Didnât get much sleep last night.â
âTell me about it⊠On average, I get about four hours a night.â
âFour hours? If I donât get at least six, I get grumpy.â
âGrumpier than this?â she says, waving a hand at me, a smile teasing at her lips.
âThis,â I gesture to my chest, âthis is the five-hours-of-sleep me.â I stretch, feeling my muscles pull, and I notice her eyes trace down my torso before I quickly pull my shirt down.
Was Y/N checking me out?
âAnywayâŠâ I scramble for a distraction. âItâs healthy to sleep eight hours. Iâm all about being healthy.â
âThatâs âcause youâre an old man.â
âHey⊠Iâm only twenty-five!â
She laughs, and before I can ask how old she is, her gaze shifts behind me, and I can sense her tension.
âShitâŠâ she whispers.
âWhat?â
âRemember that guy I told you about, Jonah Rodgers, the stalker?â Her voice drops to a near whisper, laced with panic.
I wrack my brain, trying to recall. Y/N had a stalker? She looks at me, and itâs clear she knows Iâm lost.
âJust play along, please,â she whispers, scooting her chair closer to me. Her hand brushes my knee, and Iâm startled by the tentative touch.
A vague memory flickers in my mindâher acting strange around me one day, but itâs obscured by the haze of regret and longing.
Y/Nâs gaze is intense, making it hard to focus on anything else. She smiles shyly, then looks down before peeking at me through her thick lashes.
God, what is she doing to me?
I know sheâs faking it, pretending for someone elseâbut I canât help how my body reacts, how hyper-aware I am of her presence. My hand moves to her cheek, my thumb tracing her soft skin. She blushes, biting her lip, and it sends a jolt through me, a deep ache to pull her closerâbring her lips to mine.
Her hand slides from my knee, brushing my thigh, and I can feel a warmth stirring inside me.
This isnât real⊠it canât be.
Sheâs still staring at me, and Iâm lost in her gaze, wondering what sheâs thinking, if she feels it too.
But then, all too soon, her attention darts behind me again.
âHeâs gone,â she breathes, relief washing over her. Her hand rubs my thigh one last time before she withdraws. âThank you.â
I know I should let go, but I canât. My hand remains on her face, my thumb tracing her cheek while my fingers tangle in the nape of her neck. Her expression shifts, confusion knitting her brow. She reaches for my hand, her fingers enveloping my wristâher thumb brushing the top of my hand, once, twiceâand then she smiles.
But sheâs not looking at me seductively anymore. Sheâs looking at me like she doesnât understand why I havenât let go. And honestly? Neither do I.
I drop my hand from her face and stand abruptly.
âI better get to the lab,â I say, running a hand through my disheveled hair. âGood luck on your test.â Her eyes linger on me, confusion clouding her expression as I turn to leave.
I guess the show is overâŠ
I spent the rest of the weekend in the lab, mostly because I had nothing better to do. It felt easier to throw myself into my work than to face the nagging thoughts of Y/N swirling around in my head. Pining after her felt wrongâshe was just a kid, my intern, and whatever was brewing inside me needed to stop. I had to keep my distance.
When Y/N walked in on Tuesday, she looked a bit worn out. I wanted to ask her about the test, but I bit my tongue, forcing myself to act indifferent.
As the day wound down, she asked for my help, and I followed her into the dark room. She needed to cut different bands from an agarose gel to purify the DNA. Even though she knew how to use the UV light box, I guided her through the excising process.
Once inside the dimly lit room, Y/N flipped on the UV box and switched off the lights. I stood behind her, watching as her shaky hand hovered nervously over the gel, clutching the blade.Â
"I think itâs safe to say that not going to medical school was the right choice for you," I teased, trying to keep the mood light despite the tension. "With those shaky hands, I wouldn't want you holding a scalpel near me."
"I had too much coffee today," she shot back, her tone sharp but playful.
"Right," I snorted, a grin breaking free.
"Shut up. You're making me nervous." I could almost hear her smile through her words.
"Here," I said, inching closer. I covered her hand with mine, steadying her fingers over the blade. "Relax," I suggested, hoping it would ease both our nerves.
Her proximity felt electric, as if the air around us vibrated with tension. The scent of her hairâfresh and unplaceableâdanced under my nose, making my heart race. Y/N's hand trembled beneath mine as she turned to glance up at me. In the faint blue glow of the UV light, her features looked even more striking.Â
"This is making it worse," she stammered, her voice barely above a whisper.
I felt her warm breath against my neck, and everything inside me screamed that we were too close. I should step back. I needed to step back. But God, I wanted to kiss her. Nothing else mattered in that moment.
Her bewildered expression shifted as her eyes drifted from my gaze to my lips. My heart thundered in my chest as I watched her tongue trace the edge of her bottom lip before she began to nibble on it nervously.
Then, without thinking, I closed the distance and pressed my lips against hers.
I inhaled deeply through my nose, intoxicated by her sweet scent as my mouth enveloped her bottom lip. Y/N whimpered softly against me, turning her body to face mine. My hand slid to the back of her neck, pulling her closer.
What was I doing?
I felt lost, unsure of how to proceed or how to stop. Reluctantly, I released her neck and gripped the bench for support, struggling against the rising tide of desire. All I wanted was to wrap my arms around her and pull her onto the counter, to lose myself in her warmth.
No, stop! This is wrong!
I broke the kiss, panting heavily. "Y/NâŠ" I gasped. "Shit, I'm so sorry." I stepped back, needing space. She was breathing hard too. "I-I didnât mean to do that. I shouldnât have⊠Shit." My hands raked through my hair, searching for words that eluded me.
Then, with a single determined step, Y/N closed the distance. She grabbed my t-shirt and pulled me down to her level. Her lips collided with mine once more, and I felt her inhale sharply.
I was too tall, or she was too short; either way, I hunched over her as her legs wrapped around my hips, lifting her onto the countertop beside the UV box.
Her hands tangled in my hair, tugging in a way that made me groan into her mouth, while my own hands hovered uncertainly over her body, torn between desire and restraint.
Loud, insistent knocking on the door shattered the moment.
Y/N gasped, and her legs slipped from my sides.Â
"I need to look at a gel, Yoongi. Whatâs taking so long?" Jimin's voice rang out.
Jimin⊠shitâŠ
I groaned against Y/N's shoulder, gripping her thighs to steady myself. Her fingers remained tangled in my hair, and I felt dangerously close to losing it.
"We're cutting a gel, Jimin," I called out, taking a reluctant step away from Y/N. "Give me a fucking break," I muttered under my breath.
I heard Jimin huff through the door, and Y/Nâs voice came low and tense. "What do we do?"
I didn't know about her, but I needed to get out of there. I was uncomfortable and desperately needed to regain control. I moved to the UV box, which was still glowing. Y/N jumped down from the bench as I grabbed the blade, cutting around the bands on the gel. I found it ironic that my hands were now shaking, yet I managed to do a decent job.
Once finished, I shut off the UV light and flicked the room lights back on. Y/N jumped a little, and though I was sure she was staring at me, I couldnât meet her gazeâI wouldnât.
I ran a hand through my hair and took a deep breath. "Take each piece of gel and put it in a single epi tube," I instructed, forcing myself to focus on anything but her. "You can follow the rest of the protocol at the bench."
"Yoongi," she whispered, urgency lacing her voice.
"Iâll be back in a bit," I said, my hand on the doorknob. I didnât risk a glance at her, fearing that a single look would draw me back in. I opened the door and stormed out, nearly colliding with Jimin, who stood there with his arms crossed.
What the hell just happened?
A few moments later, I was outside the building. Rain hammered down, but I didnât care. I wished I smoked, drank, or had any vice to help me calm down. I tried deep breaths to steady myself, but the rain only added to the chaos swirling inside me. I made it to the tree line behind the parking lot, leaning against a trunk with one hand while the other pressed against my chest, where my heart threatened to pound its way out. I was panting, sweating, and completely unraveling.
What the hell had I been thinking?
Well, clearly, I hadnât been thinking at all.
God, I could still taste her on my lips.
I swallowed hard.
Y/N had the sweetest lips Iâd ever kissed.
I was doomed.
This could ruin everything. I couldnât let myself be distracted by Y/N like this. I had lost all control, and I didnât know what would have happened if Jimin hadnât knocked. Or worse, what if Y/N had opened the door without knocking? Thank God the light was off, and the âIN USEâ sign was outside.
No one could know about this, especially not Jiminâhe was Jinâs puppy! If Jin ever found outâŠ
God, this was all so messed up!
I had to make it clear to Y/Nâthis had to stay between us. We had to pretend it never happened.
It would never happen again.
I could never have my lips on hers againâjust the thought of it made my chest ache.
I had known kissing her would be good. She had the most beautiful lips Iâd ever seen. They didnât disappoint. Her kiss exceeded any expectation I had dared to dream. How could I endure not kissing her again, knowing how sweet she tasted?
If I thought it was torture to be around her before, now it was going to be hell.
And she had kissed me back. She had. It wasnât just me. She wanted this too. Didnât she know it was wrong? I needed to talk to her, to explain that this couldnât happen again. We had to keep things professional, to work together without awkwardness. We had to manage that. I needed to manage that.
I wouldnât look at her lips, or her smile, if thatâs what it took. Maybe I could lie and say we needed to wear mouth masks for the rest of the projectâŠ
With a groan, I stepped away from the tree. I fisted my hair, realizing I was getting drenched, and walked back into the building. I shook my head to rid myself of some of the water, but I was still soaked when I climbed the stairs.
When I entered the lab, Y/N pretended not to see me, but I knew better. Her posture shifted, her back straightened, and the foot she had been tapping on the floor stilled.
I noticed Jimin was in the lab, standing at his bench across from Y/N, staring at her. It became clear to me that Y/N was putting on a show for him.
I sighed, feeling a little relief wash over me.
Y/N wouldnât tell anyoneâat least that much was clear.
But I still needed to talk to her. What happened was wrong and completely inappropriate. I couldnât let her get the wrong idea.
I buried myself in my computer for a while, pretending to work by aimlessly scrolling and clicking, but my attention was entirely on Y/N. She seemed to move through the purification protocol without a hitch. What was going through her head?
Y/N strolled into the lab on Thursday, her smile cutting through the sterile, fluorescent gloom like a ray of sunlight. I gave her a nodâpolite, detachedâbut that didnât stop my heart from racing at the flicker of warmth in her gaze. As I turned back to my work, she let out a sigh that lingered in the air, heavy with unspoken thoughts. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught her glancing at Jimin's empty bench, and the reminder of his absence hung like a storm cloud between us.Â
"Okay," she began, hands planted defiantly on her hips. "Should we talk about this?"
I forced myself to meet her gaze, focusing on those deep, captivating eyes while battling the temptation to let my gaze wander to her lips, which seemed to whisper promises that drove me mad with longing.Â
"Thereâs nothing to talk about, Y/N."
"Well, are you going to go back to being mean to me?"Â
"I was never mean to you."
Her eyebrows shot up in disbelief, and heat crept into my cheeks as I remembered all the stunts Iâd pulledâthe pranks that had hurt her, the lab coat Iâd ruined...
"I won't be mean to you again," I muttered, letting out a heavy sigh and looking at the floor.
"Yoongi..." Her voice was soft, almost melodic, and it tugged at my heart.Â
When I met her gaze again, it was a mistakeâher lip caught between her teeth was a distraction I didnât need. My hands clenched into fists, seeking refuge in my pockets as her eyes searched mine, wary but hopeful, like a deer caught in the headlights.
"It won't be awkward, all right? I promise."
That smile of hers struck me like a bolt of lightning, forcing a groan deep within my chest. I could see the words dancing on her lips, ready to spill out, but they vanished like smoke when Jimin walked back into the lab. Taking advantage of the reprieve, I buried myself in my work, fighting to act normal.
But normalcy felt like a distant memory whenever Y/N was near. She moved through the lab with quiet grace, while I stood like a rock in a river of uncertainty, drowning in my thoughts.
As the day wore on and shadows lengthened, I noticed her gathering her things. Instinct kicked inâI pretended to be engrossed in my computer, watching her shuffle and fidget until she finally took a step toward me.
"Hey, Yoongi?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
"Yes?" I turned to face her, masking the turmoil inside.
"Um, I was wondering... I know Iâm just an undergrad here, and thereâs really no room for me to... I-I mean, I know itâs really not my place to ask, but..." Her words faltered, and the crimson blush creeping up her cheeks sent my heart racing.
"Y/N, would you get on with it? I donât have all day." My frustration boiled over, the energy it took to be normal around her fraying my patience.
Her frown was instant, a storm brewing in those beautiful eyes.Â
Shit, that was uncalled for...
"Never mindâŠ" she sighed, disappointment echoing in the air.
"Wait." I took a breath, willing myself to soften. "Iâm sorry. Please, Y/N, tell me."
She sighed again, a deep, resigned breath. "I know thereâs that recruitment party this Saturday. Itâs for prospective students to meet the current students in the department. And I know, Iâm just the undergrad, but I think it would be great if I could meet them. You know? Hopefully, in a year, Iâll be going through recruitment myself." Her fingers twisted anxiously in front of her, a sight that both amused and strained my patience.
"Is there a question you wanted to ask?" I barked, the irritation bubbling to the surface.
"YesâŠ" she snapped back, indignation rising. "My question is: do you mind if Iâm there?" She crossed her arms, defiance written all over her.
Why would I care if she came? I hadnât even planned on attending that stupid party. But suddenly, the thought twisted in my gut, a knot tightening as a realization hit me.
I shot up from my chair, startling her. "Who told you about the party?"
Her eyes dropped, a sigh escaping her lips, and just like that, the truth hit me like a freight train. I fucking knew it.
"Youâre going with Jungkook, arenât you?" I took a step closer, looming over her.
"No, Iâm not going with Jungkook." Her voice was steady, but her gaze flickered to meet mine. "But Iâm going."
"Well, I guess Iâll see you there, then."
"Okay," she said with a nonchalant shrug, but the smile that graced her lips made my stomach twist. She turned to leave, and I felt something unravel within meâmy hands instinctively reached out, fingers curling into frustrated fists. I didnât know if I wanted to strangle her or pull her into a desperate embrace. All I knew was that I was left staring helplessly as she walked away.
I didnât need her to say it; I knew Jungkook was behind this. She might not be going with him, but the thought of him lurking at that party made my blood boil. For the first time in a long while, I felt the gnawing sensation of jealousy eat away at my insides.
Fucking Jungkook Jeon.
I couldnât believe I was even considering this.
Why did it matter if Y/N went to the recruitment party? It shouldnât. Yet here I was, battling an angry tide rising in my chest, all because of that idiot Jungkook. If she were going with someone more acceptableâsomeone who didnât make my skin crawlâIâd be okay with it. I should be okay with it. The rational part of my brain knew that, but the irritation overshadowed everything else.
What did she even see in Jungkook? The guy barely scraped by on his Qual after taking it twice and hadnât published a single paper. He was working with fruit flies for crying out loud! And his personality? A brick wall. I couldnât trust him. I didnât like him. I couldnât stand him.
I had to go to this party.
At lunch, against my better judgment, I decided to bring it up with Hoseok.Â
"Hey, whereâs the recruitment party this year?" I asked, trying to sound casual as I stabbed my fork into the mac and cheese.
"Youâre going to the recruitment party?" Hoseok dropped his fork, suspicion etched across his face like a roadmap to his thoughts.
"Yes," I groaned, already regretting bringing it up. Of course, heâd make a fuss.
"To our departmentâs recruitment party?" He pressed a finger to his chest as if Iâd committed a heinous crime.
"Why is that so hard to believe?" I shrugged, pushing the macaroni around in my bowl.
"Let me think⊠maybe because Iâve organized every single one since I got here, and youâve never attended."
"Will you just answer my question?" I snapped, frustration boiling over.
"Itâs at the South Campus Center, bro." Even though he finally answered, his gaze lingered, scrutinizing me like I was a specimen under his microscope.
"Great, thanks." I tried to keep my tone light, rolling my eyes at his obvious scrutiny.
"I canât believe youâre going." A knowing smile danced at the corners of his lips, and I loathed it.
I pretended not to care, shrugging off the comment as he took a seat next to me.Â
"If only I had known all it would take was an undergrad to get through you."
"This has nothing to do with Y/N," I spat, defensiveness creeping in, my irritation sharpening with each word. Her name was Y/N, not âthe undergrad.â
"Right, so itâs just a coincidence⊠this is just the year you happen to decide to attend this thing."
"Yes."
"Is she going?" His eyebrow arched, mischief glinting in his eyes.
I groaned and turned away, pretending to be absorbed in my food.
"Dude, I can see it. How sheâs affected you. Itâs kind of obvious. You can talk to me, you know? It might help."
The breath I took was deep and shaky, every nerve ending igniting with frustration. But before I could stop myself, the words came pouring out. "She drives me crazy, Hoseok. I canât stand it. I lose all control when Iâm around her. I kissed her⊠I kissed her, and she said she doesnât want to jeopardize her work in the lab. And it makes sense for her to think that. But the worst part is now I canât stop seeing her everywhere. Sheâs in the lab, at the gym, at the freaking library where I get my coffeeâsheâs everywhere! I need to go back to not seeing her, because I canât handle this." I stared down at my lunch, the food suddenly unappetizing, a lifeless pile of carbs.
"So you donât want to see her?" Hoseok asked, surprisingly calm, like he was dissecting a specimen on his lab bench.
"Exactly."
"You donât want to kiss her again?" He pushed, an amused grin creeping across his face.
"I donât know what I want!" I barked, irritation flaring.
"Sounds to me like you want to go to the party, see her, and kiss her again. The question is, how are you going to deal with Jungkook?"
My shoulders tightened at the mention of his name, a cold shiver running down my spine. "I donât care about him."
"I donât know, man. Itâs weird. The vibes are strange. Youâre talking about her with a lot of⊠emotion."
"Emotion?" I snapped, but deep down, I felt the truth behind his words. I was at the mercy of my own feelings, a trembling wreck in the face of Y/Nâs smile. I hated it. I wanted to turn it off. I couldnât afford to feel anything.
"Fine," I muttered, sinking back into my chair, wishing to be swallowed by it.
"Youâre going to have to confront those feelings eventually, Yoongi."
I grunted in response, refusing to admit he was right. I didnât want to think about Y/N, and I definitely didnât want to deal with Jungkook. All I wanted was to escape this mess, but deep down, I knew I was already trapped.
© chimcess, 2024. Do not copy or repost without permission.
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