#nagp

[solreix]

hinata shoyo is one heck of a hunk in college. kada lakad niya, hindi talaga mapipigilan ng mga tao kung hindi sundan siya ng tingin. the way his eyes form crescent whenever he smiles, and it is all the time. he smiles all the time, at parang biniyayaan ang lahat ng nakakakita noon.

he was almost literally shining so bright kahit nakatayo lamang siya at naghihintay ng aya kung saan man sila pupunta ng teammates niya.

yet, this comes with disadvantage. kahit na sanay siyang makipag-usap sa tao, he could not help but feel discomfort whenever people would just barge in their classroom para magbigay ng kung ano. he likes the attention, and he understands, grateful even. pero minsan ay naiilang siya.

it's just... he doesn't have the heart to reject everyone, especially as most of them are literally handmade. he could not break their hearts like that.

so his answer? fake dating.

and that's what yn's here for. katulad na lang ngayon. kanina pa siya nakatago sa likod ng pader, pinagmamasdan si hinata na mukhang hinihintay siya para sa usapan nilang kain mamaya. she was just about to go to him when a group of friend went to him first.

"hinata, pwedeng pa-picture!"

she watched as hinata pushed himself from the wall, smiling at them, his typical business smile. "sure," simpleng sagot ng binata.

a sigh escaped her lips. hindi talaga marunong humindi ito. instead of waiting for them to finish, she walked towards the group. hindi pa man siya nakalalapit ay namataan na siya ng boyfriend, well, fake boyfriend. she could see relief through his eyes, making her think that her decision's just correct.

"love, hi! kanina ka pa?" bungad niya nang makalapit.

"sorry, excuse me." hindi na nito hinintay ang sasabihin ng mga babae. instead, he immediately went to her. tila ba automatic ang paghila nito sa kamay niya, at automatic na rin sa kaniyang ibigyay kamay.

"nagp-picture pa kayo," malumanay niyang sabi para hindi mainis sa kaniya ang mga fangirls nito.

hinata shook his head. "i think we've taken enough. and no, halos kadarating ko lang din."

with that, she nodded her head to the girls direction. kita ang inggit, at the same time admiration sa mga mata nito. "una na kami."

the girls could only nod and smile as they left.

"so, kumusta araw mo?"

nakangiti siyang nag-angat ng tingin kay shoyo. she couldn't help but find him cute as he tilted his head while looking at her. nakatalikod pa itong naglalakad para lamang nakaharap sa kaniya.

"masaya naman. kahit pumasok si de mesa." she sighed. "alam ko kasi gusto kong magdoktor, bakit parang audition ng pbb kapag nagtuturo siya?"

shoyo's hearty laugh echoed. "naging prof ko rin yan last year, minsan gusto ko na lang siyang tulugan."

"i know. kung hindi lang malikot mata niya," she replied with a laugh.

their conversation went on as they got out of the campus. dahil late na ang naging labas niya ngayon, halos iilan na lang ang estudyante sa labas. madilim na rin at tanging liwanag na lang ng buwan at street light ang nagbibigay ilaw.

as they talked, her eyes remained on shoyo. it's almost always like this, lalo kung wala itong practice. silang dalawa, kwentuhan hanggang maihatid siya nito sa dorm niya o minsan kapag may oras pa, kakain sila. palagi silang may topic dahil na rin kay shoyo. his days are always interesting.

"nga pala, nag-aaya sila yamaguchi sa linggo. reunion daw lalo kasi aalis na pa-italy si kageyama next week." umpisa nito.

"really? akala ko next year pa siya?"

nagkibit balikat ito. "i guess sa linggo pa namin malalaman." saka ito sumulyap sa kaniya. "well, kung papayag ka."

dito umangat ang kilay niya. "i always tell you na huwag ka nang magpaalam, ayan ka na naman."

"eh..." shoyo frowned. she sighed at the thought of wanting to keep her to herslef as he looked adorable doing so. "gusto ko lang magsabi."

nanlaki ang mata niya nang kumapit ito sa braso niya, at habang naglalakad sila ay idinantay nito ang baba sa balikat niya. unti-unti siyang huminga upang hindi mahalata nito na nahirapan siya.

hinata shoyo, pwede ba kasing totoong akin ka na lang?

she clenched her fist at the thought. "edi magsabi ka. magsabi ka lang para hindi ako mag-alala, pero hindi mo na kailangan ng permission ko." then that's when she remembered. "at isa pa, linggo na 'yon, shoyo."

"noted, madam!" sagot nito, at umalis na lamang bigla mula sa pagkakadantay sa kaniya.

naiwan siyang pinanood ang likod nitong maglakad papasok sa paborito nilang kinakainan. her eyes melted at the sight of his arms pushing the door, waiting for her kahit na nahinto siya sa paglalakad.

sa linggo ang lakad nito.

sabado, tapos na sila.

fake lang naman kasi dapat eh. nagkataon lang na magkaibigan sila ni yachi at siya ang naisip nitong ipakilala kay shoyo. she could not blame the woman kasi she's known not to fall for anyone that easy. bato siya dapat eh.

sa dami ng nagco-commit sa paligid niya, hindi siya nadala. sa ilang bulaklak na naitabi niya, wala namang feelings na namuo.

pero hindi niya inasahang masyadong mainit si shoyo.

of course, she didn't fall easily. she had done her role very well the very first month, even on the second month as his fake girlfriend. pero lintik, mapaglaro talaga si universe.

who would've thought that shoyo can penetrate the walls she built around herself by being her fake boyfriend?

he was bright enough to lighten up her dull world. his smiles could unite the heaven and hell, and whenever he smiles at her, something snaps. his shoulders were strong enough for her to depend on, at hindi niya alam na kailangan niya pala iyon dahi sanay naman siyang dumipende sa sarili niya.

"dalawang sisig po."

her attention went to him when he guided her towards their spot. mabuti na lang at walang masyadong tao dahil kapag tanghali ay hindi bakante ang pwestong ito.

"wait here. bili lang ako lemonade." lord, ngumiti na naman siya.

naglakad muli palabas si shoyo at wala siyang ginawa kundi panoorin na lamang hanginin ang puting t-shirt nito. mukhang uulan pa yata base na rin sa paglipad ng buhok nito.

simula nang marealize niya sa sarili niyang hindi niya yata kayang makitang ganito sa iba ang binata, alam niyang tinamaan na siya. she could not accept the fact that someday he'd hold another's hand. someone's gonna run their hands on his hair, and they would feel the joy of it.

hindi niya pala kaya.

suminghap siya nang bumalik ito at ibinaba ang inumin nila. "sho," she started.

marahan itong ngumiti sa kaniya. "bakit?"

"sa linggo ka aalis. wala na tayo sa sabado." she decided not to beat around the bush.

katahimikan ang naging dulot nito sa kanilang dalawa. tanging hangin paggalaw lamang ng mga nagtitinda ang tanging maririnig habang nakatitig sila sa mata ng isa't isa.

nang hindi niya kayanin ang tingin ni shoyo. bumaba ang mata niya sa lamesa. "anong plano natin?"

"may nagawa ba ako?" finally, nagsalita ang binata.

sa gulat sa sinabi nito, muli siyang nag-angat ng tingin. "wala. what made you say that?"

mukhang nakahinga ito nang maluwag. "ah." he smiled sheepishly, scratching his brows. "i just thought... i did something."

"wala naman. iyon lang kasi 'yung napag-usapan."

"i figured." tumango ito. "actually, salamat pala sa pagpayag. bago ka pa kasi maipakilala ni yachi, kilala na kita kasi madalas ka niyang kasama last year-orgmates pala kayo."

doon siya nagulat. well, of course she knew him dahil player ito, pero hindi niya inasahang kilala rin siya nito noon pa.

"no'ng sinabi ni yachi na ikaw raw yung ipapakilala niya, natakot ako. you looked intimidating dati, like someone who wouldn't even dare to look at me." natawa ito, parang maraming naalala. "si hirugami nga, binasted mo, ako pa kaya? though fake, boyfriend pa rin para sa paningin ng iba."

"pa'no mo nalaman?" hindi niya inaasahang magugulat siya sa mga sinasabi nito ngayon. not that she's mad. pero hindi niya talaga alam na marami itong alam tungkol sa kaniya. sikat ito, gwapo, mabait-he's a literal star, someone to challenge celestial beings, so paano dadapo ang tingin nito sa kaniya?

"hindi naman pinublicize ni hirugami, huwag ka mag-alala. kaibigan ko lang si hoshiumi, so i heard it from him when she found out girlfriend kita." uminom ito. "but, going back, hesitant talaga ako sa pag-alok sa'yo. ikaw na 'yan, ito lang ako-"

"what do you mean iyan ka lang?" she cut him. hindi niya mapigilang magsalubong ang kilay dahil sa narinig.

mukha namang nagulat ito sa naging reaksyon niya. amusement dance in his eyes as he leaned closer. "ang cute mo." natawa ito, at iniunat ang kilay niya. "relax, i'm confident with my skills. with myself, pero sa'yo, noon hindi. pakiramdam ko may kailangan akong i-prove para matanggap sa tabi mo."

"what are you saying hinata shoyo, have you seen yourself?"

shoyo didn't let go of her cheeks. "have you seen yourself?" he retorted.

natahimik siya. una hindi siya makahinga sa mga sinasabi nito, pangalawa, she likes the feeling of his hands on her cheeks too much.

hindi nawala ang ngiti sa labi nito. "pero sabi ko, bahala na. naging selfish din ako eh, kailangan ko talaga."

natawa silang dalawa sa sinabi nito. give it to shoyo to lighten up everything.

"and everything went smooth. hindi ko inexpect na ganito ka pala. ang sarap palang magpaalaga sa'yo, at ang sarap na alagaan ka." marahan itong ngumiti. "pwede ko bang sabihin sa'yo ngayon ang plano ko?"

tumango siya, hindi makapagsalita.

"can i be selfish once again? pwede bang this time, totoo na? can i prove myself to you? pursue you in a way na malinaw sa'yo kung ano ba talagang habol ko?"

she was left dumbfounded for a few seconds. kanina lang hinihilang niyang sana totoo lahat. sana shoyo was also looking at her the way she looks at him. at ngayon, ito ang sinasabi niya.

is she dreaming? is this okay?

"kung ayos lang sa'yo..." ang tanging nasabi niya.

muli, natawa ito. "no, it's your call. everything, basta nandito lang ako."

"do it." pumikit siya. huminga nang malalim, bago muling tumingin dito. "iextend natin. without holding back. this time, no one will hold back."

[reynanghugot]

[10:41PM 07222024] kamusta na nga ba ko? recently di rin ako okay, alam yan ng ilan sa mutuals/friends ko dito na nakaka chikahan ko sa personal message like puro shit post sa fb, puro wins and happy memories sa ig/fb stories. idk pero yun ata talaga yung isa sa personality ko na if nakilala ako ng tao na strong ako, ayoko na mabago yun. ayoko na maiba yon kahit valid naman na maging mahina minsan o umiyak minsan.

graduating student ako, ended my last semester in PUP-OUS with flat 1 na GWA. happy ako sobra kasi i feel like lahat ng hirap and pagod ko ng apat na taon unti-unti ng nagpe-paid off like for real, after 12 freaking years finally totoo na 'to na masasabi ko na graduating na ko. aside from that, some saw my story rin na nakapag pa picture na kami for graduation with my friends. apparently, ayoko pa rin i-post not until makuha ko na yung list of names ng graduates. so far, masaya ako no jokes when it comes to academic kasi masasabi ko na finally talaga this is it, pwedeng pwede na mag retire mommy ko.

gumaan din yung dalahin ko recently sa mga relationship ko with friends. natuto ako na makipag communicate about sa nararamdaman ko sa friendship na meron ako sa mga tao na yon. i feel like masakit din sa part ko na magsabi ng mga words knowing na we experienced different traumas in life and i really appreciate them on how they accept my side, pano nila ko pinakinggan and pano nila pina feel sa akin valid din yung nararamdaman ko. this is the friendship na masasabi ko na di ko kailangan pumili. na di ko kailangan na umiwas. di ko kailangan may i-give-up nalang bigla. kasi for sure, sobrang deserve nila yung friendship na meron kami sa isa't isa. maybe some di maiintindihan but if you will listen lang sa lahat ng sides, sobrang gaan sa pakiramdam na para kang binunutan ng tinik sa dibdib.

on the other hand, i know health is wealth and just like before i humbly ask for you prayers na sana monitoring nalang ako annually and di na every six months kasi ang hirap, the anxiety and pressure di mo maiiwasan. aside from that, medyo mabigat siya financially like 20k and above yung kailangan kong i-raise every monitoring not included the follow up check-up fee and medicines kahit na sobrang mura ng maintenance ko for unemployed like me mabigat na rin siya.

finally, natapos ko na rin yung dapat kong gawin sa business ko kanina sa BIR babalikan ko nalang din yung receipt after 2 weeks. all i need to do is focus sa rebranding para mas organize yung shops and hopefully before the pasukan [kasi malapit lang kami sa school] maayos ko na rin yung area ko para sa small business ko.

above all, i am grateful to my strong support system, na hindi ako iniwan from my family to nikko to my friends. despite all the highs and lows since april 2023, they stayed and supported me throughout my ptc journey. sabi ng iba, arte nalang 'to. but for me it's a no. kasi hindi niyo alam pinagdaanan ko from my check-up, pre-op, post-op, till now. that's why i don't mind if my circle is small, as long as masaya ako with them, they respect, love, and understand me okay na ko na sila sila nalang.

kudos to myself for sharing a short life update that no one asked for. Good night!

[akocomyk]

I got a chocolate bar for Christmas

Simple joys, right?

Anyway… After two years of the pandemic, I started going to church again—beginning from this year’s Holy Week. I was highly encouraged by Gerald. Most of the time, I attend the masses in my high school alma mater’s chapel—I went to a catholic school run by OAR priests.

I didn’t make promises to myself—or to God even—about completing the nine days of Misa de Gallo. Even more so when during the homily of the first day, the priest reminded us that we should’t attend the Simbang Gabi masses for the sole reason of completing them, and encouraged us to continue even if we missed a day.

Despite the hardships of waking up early, walking for more than one kilometer in the dark streets and coldness of early morning, and then having to go to work later in the day (although I only work from home), I was able to complete the nine days.

During the homily of the Christmas Eve mass, Fr. Dexter started by asking who among the attendees have completed the nine days of Misa de Gallo, and he asked those people to raise their hands. I raised mine, of course.

He then filtered it out by asking who among them completed the nine days in the school’s chapel. Few hands were lowered so a few were left, including mine.

From the few, three people were chosen—I was one of them. The priest requested us to stand with him at the front near the altar. I had no choice but to oblige.

I was nervous, seeing the amount of people looking at me and not knowing what I’m about to do.

While at the front, Fr. Dexter asked what our wishes are for completing the Simbang Gabi.

The first woman wished for the healing of one her parents who had a kidney disease.

The second woman, a senior, wished for a long and healthy life.

I… I wasn’t wishing for anything, to be completely honest. The first thing I thought when the question was asked was, “Wala po.”

So in the mic I said something like, “Di po ako pinalaki na mag-attend ng Simbang Gabi para gumawa ng wish. Nandito lang po ako kasi I’m grateful for all of the blessings that I have received. Naniniwala po kasi ako na everything that happens to us, whether it be good or bad, we learn from it. So every time na nagp-pray ako dito, I’m just thankful.”

Father gave the three of us Toblerone bars. 🍫 And an envelope with a yellow bill inside. 😊

Some pictures to remember my Christmas with:

[srgroupnagpur]

Best Resort Nagpur - Enjoy Cocktail Party with Freinds - Sai Resort Nagp...

[nice2meetyouu]

Saw a linkedin post and from the comments, I didn't know na andaming galit sa work from home at work from anywhere. What the hell. Hahaha.

Hindi ko gets 'yung mga naglalagay ng prayer sa social media. 'Yung acknowledgment, understandable (TYL), pero 'yung may mahabang litanya na sana po bigyan Mo pa ako ng maraming blessings, insert 5 other sentences or more... bakit dyan ka nagpe-pray sizt?

May ka-work ako na kaboses ng ex, same din sila magsalita, at same na taga-Davao. Nadidistract ako dahil sa similarities. Never ko pa syang nakita dahil sa meeting, naka-off cam naman palagi (at hindi sya pumapasok sa office, forever wfh siya).

About sa same magsalita: Parang si vloggerdong sa youtube.

[jemwhomstdve]

Gunita sa Nakaraan

Bagong yumao ang aming Lolo Jose at kinailangan ‘kong umalis ng Bulacan para makalimot sa mga nangyari no’ng nakaraang buwan. Nagsimula akong humanap ng kalinga sa labas ng tahanan dahil mahirap tumayo mag-isa at unting galaw sa pamilya ay guguho ang lahat.

Unang labas kasama ang isang estranghero, lagpas isang buwan pagkatapos ng halos dalawang taong bigong relasyon. Hinatid niya ako sa labas ng condo sa Quezon City lagpas curfew (ni Achi, na kapareho ‘ko’y bigo rin sa halos limang taong relasyon) ng alas siyete ng gabi. Hindi alam ng Achi na lumabas ako no’ng araw na ‘yon para kumita ng hindi ‘ko gaanong kakilalang tao, ngunit nakauwi naman ako nang matino at buo.

“Ika-4 ng Nobyembre, Taon 2021

U.P. Town Center, Katipunan

[Achi calling…]

[R]: Ihatid na kita sainyo.

[J]: Ah okay lang. Kaya ‘ko na. I’ll walk.

[R]: Walk? Sa’n ka ba?

[J]: Sa condo. Sa harap ng Ateneo.

[R]: Ha? Anlayo! Ayaw mo mag-taxi? Hatid na kita.

[J]: Nahh, ayaw. Malapit lang ‘yon. And I like walking.

[R]: Oh, edi samahan na lang kita maglakad.

[J]: Sure ka? Hahaha.

[R]: Oo. Ako din, I like walking. Plus nagpaalam naman ako kay Lola for the date so they don’t mind if late ako makauwi.

[J]: Alright, if you say so.

Perhaps, he didn’t like walking. It’s just that I like walking so he walked me home.

In front of the *redacted* Condominium

[J]: So, I guess that sums it up? Hahaha.

[R]: Wait lang. Can I hug you? I think kailangan mo rin haha!

[J]: Haha okay sige.

We hugged. I badly needed that hug. He was right.

[J]: Thank you for the day, Mech. Engg. Pres. [R]. See you soon.

He let go of the hug. He held my waist and removed his face shield. I caught a glimpse of his glistening brown eyes along with the streetlights. Then, he gently spoke.

[R]: Magsabi ka lang ha kung kailangan mo ng kausap? I got u. Dami mong pinagdaanan lately. I hope I helped u to feel better. You deserve the best. I really hope maging okay ka na soon.

I was stunned. I didn’t know what to do as that was my first time having a physical contact after my ex. It was foreign but so gentle. I was handled with care unlike…heh. I knew I’ll remember it for a lifetime.

[J]: I will. Thank you, [R].

[R]: Ihatid na rin kita sa door, you want?

[J]: Nah. Okay na.

He let go of me. We bid our goodbyes and parted ways. I suppose he wanted to give me a goodbye kiss but I had my face shield on hahaha!“

Lumipas ang maraming buwan at maraming responsibilidad ang dumating. Hindi nagbago ang katauhan ‘ko. Walang iba. Minsanang catch up, madalang na kamustahan. Unibersidad. Organisasyon. Akademiya. Trabaho. Wala masyadong pagbabago ngunit unti-unti muling nabubuo ang pagkatao dahil ang pilosopiya ng isang taong gaya ‘ko ay walang panahon na dapat sinasayang.

Pagtungtong ng panibagong taon ay nagbabadyang eleksyon sa aming pamantasan. Bilang pinakabata sa konseho, hinikayat muli akong tumakbo sa upuan ng mga estudyante, lalo na graduating students. Pangulo. Campus-wide. Ngunit, inisip ‘kong magpahinga kahit papa’no dahil kailangan ‘kong nilayin ang lahat ng nawala sa akin—sa personal na aspeto—at unahin ang sariling pangangailangan—ang gamutin ang sarili upang tuluyang maging produktibo at masaya sa pag-iral sa mundo. Tumakbo ako, ngunit sa kolehiyo lamang upang hindi mabilis maubos. Liban dito ay umendorso rin ako ng mga kandidato ng Partido Lakas ng Masa sa Bulacan leg para sa Nasyonal na Eleksyon. Ito ay tawag ng hanay, responsibilidad panlipunan na mula pa man noon ay pinanghahawakan ‘ko na bilang prinsipyo. Samantalang si [R] naman ay tumugon rin sa prinsipyo at nag-endorso ng kandidato base sa kaniyang ideolohiya habang nagp-plano ng internship. Magkaiba kami ng paniniwala, ngunit pareho kaming may rason at pinaglalaban, at isa ‘yon sa mga nagustuhan ‘ko sakanya—may prinsipyo, may dahilan, may pinanghahawakan. Nagsabi rin sya’ng baka lumipad siya ng dalawang buwan pa-Australia pagkatapos ng graduation upang bumisita sa kaniyang ina.

Buwan ng Marso, binigyan ‘ko sya ng RSVP para sa 20th birthday ‘ko. Isang pulong sa Abril na hiniling ‘ko sanang makasama siya dahil isa siya sa dahilan kung bakit patuloy akong umiiral sa mundo. Humingi siya ng tawad dahil sasakto sa internship. Babawi na lang daw sya. Mag-celebrate na lang daw kami nang mas maaga.

“Ika-4 ng Abril, Taon 2022

Saktong anim na buwan magmula no’ng unang date. Na-late ako dahil mula ako sa Bulacan. Sabi nya nga noon, kahit sa mas malapit na lugar na lang kami ngunit hindi ako nagpatinag. Maingat kasi ako magpakilala ng mga tao sa pamilya kaya hindi rin ako basta-basta nagdadala ng tao sa bahay. At isa pa, hindi rin naman s’ya nagsabi formally na aakyat s’ya ng ligaw.

Pagdating ‘ko sa mall ay hinanap ‘ko s’ya. Nasa Quantum daw siya. Pala-isipan sa akin kung bakit siya nasa arcade. Yun pala, tatlong oras na niyang sinusubukan sumungkit ng malaking stuffed toy.

[J]: Bakit sinusubukan mong sumungkit eh pwede naman tayong bumili?

[R]: Wala. Gusto ‘ko pinaghirapan ‘ko ibibigay ‘ko sayo.

[J]: Ay, para sa ‘kin ba? Haha!

Hardworking. He made sense. I took pride in it. I smiled proudly and teased him. He proceeded to bring out a small stuffed toy of Patrick the Star from his bag. He kept the one that he got first. Unfortunately, the stitch got ruined so he wanted a bigger one. Thus, three freakin’ hours of playing arcade lmao. He really planned to go earlier than the set time just for the stuffed toy hahaha. Other than that, he also brought out 2 small balls which made me think again.

[J]: Para sa’n naman yan?

[R]: Diba you have 3 dogs? For them. I was about to buy 3 but only 2 na lang left sa shelf. I’m sorry.

Again, he made my heart melt. What a thoughtful man. He never made me think twice about him caring for me. He was there on the hardest part of my life. He carried me throughout my pain and helped me heal. He showed me kindness and love when my world was full of chaos and I don’t have, even my heart, to offer. We may not have talked everyday but he never missed to check up on me whenever I need it. He sticked through thick and thin. He was there. I really thought, maybe he’s the one. Maybe it was him. God knows how easy my heart falls for a gentleman.

I thanked him and showed him my appreciation for thinking even about my dogs.

We proceeded to play inside the arcade and got food afterwards. While we were eating, we talked about the upcoming election.

[J]: Buti tatakbo si [his candidate] no?

[R]: True. Ewan ‘ko nalang kung anong mangyayari if di siya mananalo. Eh diba tatakbo din si [my candidate]?

[J]: Yup. Tatakbo sya haha!

[R]: Kung di tatakbo si [his candidate], si [my candidate] rin iboboto ‘ko eh.

[J]: Ako rin. If di tatakbo si [my candidate], si [his candidate] rin iboboto ‘ko haha!

We caught each other’s eyes and laughed out loud. Because we both get it. We didn’t have to fight. We may have different candidates and ideologies but we had the same goal: for a progressive country. We didn’t belong in the same university but we’re both politically-engaged people.

That day, we enjoyed it all. We both loved coffee so we proceeded to go to Tim Horton’s. After he got our coffee, he told me he’d give me his gift. (Yes, meron pa?!) He brought out a box of a Zippo lighter. That was my first lighter. It had a design: a flaming heart. He knew I was a smoker, due to stress and pressure. He told me if it runs out of gas, I can just bring it to the nearest mall to get it refilled.

Smoking isn’t healthy. But he knew I needed it. He never told me to stop. But he told me to take care of my health. It was ironic, but he said that at least whenever I’m stressed, I’d have a cool a lighter haha. In fact, that lighter became a symbolism to me—that there’s a light that never goes out. It became the light on my darkest days (since I only smoke when I cannot take life seriously anymore). Whenever I use it, I remember hope and kindness. It symbolized him. That was his mark in my life.

Before we parted ways, we bummed a few cigarettes though he no longer smokes. Again, we shared a thing that he doesn’t do but since he does it with me, he didn’t mind. And we knew we cannot meet any time soon again because the hectic schedule and priorities will not allow us. But we knew what we had. Not knowing the next few months would be filled with anxiety and passive arguments. But still, I held on.“

Lumipas muli ang oras, araw, linggo, at buwan nang hindi namamalayan. Patuloy pa rin ang pag-ikot ng mundo. Konting usap, minsanang away, send-an ng music para sa isa’t isa. Dumalang nang dumalang hanggang sa…tuluyan nang nawala.

“Ika-30 ng Disyembre, Taon 2022

[Liham]

Maniwala ka o hindi, kung tao ang kantang tahanan ng Munimuni, ikaw ‘yon sa pagkakataong ‘di ko inakala. Inalay ko ang Runaway ni Tiffany (1st date), Waltz of four left feet (2nd date), at Pahintulot (bilang tugon ‘ko at reassurance sa sinend mong Paninindigan kita ng Ben & Ben dahil busy season natin, campus election ‘ko at internship mo kaya hindi posibleng tumuloy ng 3rd date) ng Shirebound and Busking, at Sa susunod na habang buhay ng Ben & Ben (noong nalaman ‘kong meron nang iba).

Ang usapan, maghahanap ng oras kung kelan tayo pwede parehas. Naintindihan ‘ko naman lahat—sobra na rin sa ultimatum. Kaya, pasensya na kung hindi ako nakatugon no’ng panahong pwede ka—hindi ko rin kasi alam kung kaya ‘kong bumangon at mag-ayos para kitain ka. Kinailangan ‘kong unahin ang sarili ‘ko pagkatapos ng mahabang serbisyo sa mga estudyante at bayan. Alam mo namang kinailangan ako sa hanay—demokratikong sosyalistang aktibista, maraming kailangang paunlakan na pulong. Hindi ‘ko rin naman itinagong ang kahati sa pag-ibig ng isang Jemelee Pagay ay adbokasiya, lipunan, bayan, at sarili. Wala nang iba. Isang tahanan lang ang hanap ko, hindi subdivision.

At ikaw, alam ‘kong isa lang din naman ang hanap mo noon. Problema nga lang, hindi tayo pinagtagpo ng oras at pagkakataon pero okay lang, tanggap ‘ko yon. Kung anong mas pabor sa sitwasyon mo, doon ako. Naiintindihan ‘ko dahil…ang pagsintang hain ‘ko’y hindi makasarili bagkus ay malaya at mapagpalaya. Hindi mabilis kumupas, tulad ng titis, pilit nagniningas; kahit mabagal at matagalan, kaya pasensya na kung hindi natin kinaya ang bagal ng baga.

Matagal ‘ko na dapat ninilay ngunit kahit papa’no, hindi inabot ng panibagong taon. Panahon na upang buhusan ng tubig ang naghihingalong ningas. Bilang respeto rin sa kasalukuyan at pag-angkin muli sa kalayaan.

I’ll always cherish you, aking presidente [R]. Salamat sa pag-akay noong hindi ‘ko kaya mag-isa.

Mananatili akong rosas sa hardin ng digma—at ikaw, sa’n ka man maparoon, I’ll root for u, Engr. [R]. Hindi ‘ko malilimutan ang marahuyo mong mga mata sa ilalim ng mabituing langit sa Katipunan, sa bisig mong hiniling ‘kong makulong, at maingat mong pagtangan sa akin.

Ingat at padayon, aking liyag✊”

Ika-13 ng Setyembre, 2024

Yesterday, I saw the news. [R] just got engaged. It is the same girl he got in a relationship with after we let go of each other. It shocked me—like I’m really in that age that the people I loved before are getting engaged?! Nonetheless, I’m happy for him. I’ve always root for his happiness. Wholeheartedly. Though 2022 Jemelee would’ve thought differently on what’ll happen this year. But I know [R], people like him are easy to like. Easy to love. That guy is full of love and kindness. A compassionate and passionate one. And so funny(most important character)! That guy deserves the best :))) I gotta admit, I take care of myself now and don't let me get taken for granted as much as possible because that would be a disrespect from all the guidance he gave me. I know he'd hate to know if I let people walk all over me that's why I don't settle for less. He set the bar high that there were times I thought, maybe I took his love for granted. But then, red string theory, right? Fate. I prayed for his happiness back then, that he’d get taken care of whoever is after me, because his pure heart deserves it. And I’m glad God never fails to give love to those who deserve it. He didn’t make a mistake on blessing him this early to know who he gets to spend the rest of his life with. The people I loved and parted ways with may not know this, but their win are still my win. I wish them Irish blessings until the end.

And I hope, one day, my time to win comes too.

[kirkeyeeeart]

drawing habang nagpe-present ng case presentation yung group galing sa kabilang section sa zoom

[benefits1986]

upgraditis izzitttzzzz

Beep, beep. Sabi ng wonky B. LELS. LULS.

After a round of errands forda death and taxes, eto na po. 'Yung hamunan namin ng tatay kong pakitong-kitong umabot na sa rurok sa ngalan ni Vici. Taccaaaaaaaa. Ganito, 'di talaga ako fan ng upgrades kasi honestly, bobo ako sa lahat ng mekanikal at teknikal na aspeto ng biking. Gusto ko lang talaga siya kasi nakaka-good vibes with gigil 'pag trip ko kahit saan, kahit kailan. Tapos, wala pa akong screentime 'pag nagpe-pedal syempre with hefty tabing-daan pitixxxx from the hip, so solb na solb. Boogsh.

Syempre, tatay kong mukhang road bike and MTB, lagi'ti lagi talagang wagas ang bashing sa inyong noona. 'Di siya pumapalya. Sabi ko naman, wala kasi akong pake sa mga kaganapang pandagal ng bikes forda big boys and big biatches. Kung gusto niya 'yun, e 'di go. Pero, the moment na attack mode siya sa gusto ko na 'di ko naman siya inaano, ibang usapan na 'yan. Tabi. Giba.

Alam ko naman kasi 'yung kabobohan ng foldies kahit 'di ako teknikal or mekanikal being. However, si MatchaME siya na bike ko hanggang sa dulo ng mundo. Period. Forda travel and for Vici. Syempre, lalo na punggok ako kaya need ko talaga 'yung bagay sa kapunggukan ko. Bakit B? Gusto ko kasi 'yung itchura niya. And forda record, wala naman akong alam noon hanggang ngayon sa uniberso ng B. Para lang akong ngawngaw kasi nga, gusto ko lang talaga siya. And so, iyak-iyak tayo sa mga upgrades.

By the way, si Dahon ko, legit na walang upgrades 'yan kasi sobrang hardworking niya. Walang arte. Walang vibe except sa color way na 'di ko rin naman ni-custom. Utilitarian points 100000000. Kaya 'di rin talaga about sa brand ang biking kaguluhan ko. Gusto ko na talaga ibenta 'yang si Dahon pero pigil-pigil dad ko kasi gift niya sa akin 'yan ages ago. Gago ko raw. Sabi ko naman na sa dami ng pinagdaanan namin ni Dahon, it's time to move forward without looking back. EMS. Tampo levels ng tatay kong andropose 1000000000000 din. Ngayon, may panga-agit na siya kung saan, 'di umano, ako'y kaniyang sinasabayan 'pag nag-ride kami with my wonky B. TACCA.

Wala pa talaga kaming laspagan ride na pabebe pa rin nitong si MatchaME. Pero soon bilang the hills and the "Kunat I Kennat" shitshow roads are gonna be my hood all forda greater good. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Paano na ang aging and degenerating kasukasuan ko nito? Abangan.

So 'yun na nga, sa ngalan ng mga algo ng best app ever, tatay ko, nagforward ng mga links. Syempre, legit check mode tayo with init ng ulo na malala. Saktuhan, nadarang tayo na mala-gamu-gamo sa kandila ngayong Sabado. Honestly wala namang masyadong nabago except for some really essential stuff like a rack and a saddle. 'Yung tatay kong makulit at matigas ang ulo, ayaw niya tantanan 'yung stand dahil daw para sturdy 'pag nakasakay si Vici. Me: TACCAAA. Ayaw mong tumigil. Pero, sige. In love, it's better to be kind than to be right. AMEN. The gospel of the lerrddddddzzz tayo diyan kahit sobrang agit ko talaga. Para siyang batang bubwit na pilit mode 100000000000000000000000x.

'Yung rack kasi since overpacker ako saka may mga errands ako tulad ng grocery, pagkain ng mga aso, cleaning supplies at iba pa, sinsulit ko talaga bawat paglabas ko na rare 'pag nasa MNL. Sobrang congested lalo dito these days. Nakakahilo ang maraming tao. O baka andun lang talaga ako sa part na 'pag super daming tao, feeling ko mag-tag team ang avalanche at stampede.

Speaking of the saddle, pinagiisipan ko pa talaga kasi saks lang naman 'yung "stock" saddle ni MatchaME. 'Di siya ergonomic, pero 'di ba, nung bata naman ako, BMX na basic, oks naman na. 'Di rin naman ako nagre-race or whatever so WTH. Eto loko kong ama, sabi siya na raw bahala sa saddle. Kaya 'yung pikon ko kumulo ng malala. Hinamon na naman ako. So, ayun, lalong iyak tayo at wala ng hihinga hanggang sa September.

Makasarili rin talaga tatay ko kasi rason niya is dahil utos ako ng utos na ipasyal si Vici, dapat daw maganda upo niya. Kamot-ulo talaga ako kasi buti kung sa Kilometro ZERO niya dinadala si Vici. E hindi. JUSQ. Jeskelerddd.

Ang totoong rason kung bakit ayaw kong simulan 'tong upgrades is because, chenennnnnnnnnnnn. Curation is addiction. And mas malala kasi ako internal invalidation and validation ang core ko. Opak. May validation na tayo kahit paano. LULSSSS. Ang aga mo na naman. HUY. 'Di kasi ako talaga ma-compare sa iba. Basta dapat oks siya sa pake ko, 'yun. So ang ending, madalas weirdo which I don't give a fuck about. The quirk tworkkkkkssss in my shitshow book talaga since Day 0 e. Wala na akong magagawa doon kasi sobrang tagal ko siyang ni-try to tame and slay (as in patayin). =)))))))

Alsoooo, mejjjjjj malala na po dahil nag-scout na po tayo ng mga B shops sa location na ating liliparin at nakahanap ng "kitchen" kung saan the cooking is the highway to heaven and hell. Tacca. 'Di na yata tats ang souvenirs natin sa trips. Upgrades na munti na. Researching din more and more kung ano bang pros and cons ng pagbitbit natin kay MatchaME sa ibang lugar kasi mhie, 'di rin siya biro talaga. E trust issues ko malala to the point na mas oks ng may well-concealed 30kg akong backpack na ayoko rin i-check in or luggage na 30kg pero akala mo handcarry lang. HAHAHHAHAHA. But, this H2 onward is a test of gradually letting go of my legit trust issues. Maiba naman. Bike insurance, kasado na. Hahahahahaha. Para sure.

Ngayon, ang isa pang bigger topic e paano ba akong drips natin sa ngalan ng biking around the perimeter of that location I shall not name yet. Sa tamang panahon na. Akala mo naman posh location noh? Syempre, practice muna tayo bilang napaka-weak ng PHP sa lahat ng dako. Ang malala pa nito, may naiisip na akong next destination kung saan magaganda ang biking lanes and sceneries. EME. Revenge bike x travel na ba talaga us? WOOT. WOOT. UTUT.

Init ulo ko talaga sa tatay ko kasi niyaya ko siya sa trip kong parating. E sobrang pabebe na, pajeje pa. UGH. Kaya ekis siya though iniisip ko talaga na puwede siyang sumama kaso as a kuripot na naman siya dahil ni-compute niya magagastos 'pag sumama siya and of course, walang magpapakain ng mga doggo babes. HAHAHAHA. As an utusan, very consistent din talaga siya. Sinabi ko rin naman na puwedeng iwan mga doggos sa dog hotel. Aba. Paano raw if may mambully or may sakit 'yung mga kasamang dogs? Me: JUSQQQQQ. Talaga ba? Talagang-talaga lang a. Big brain moment na naman si ungas. LOL.

BTW, dad ko talaga saka ako parang tropa lang mag-hamunan. Ganun talaga kami since bata pa ako. May mga batok moments pa nga kami kung saan ganti ko sa kanya malutong na tampal saka pinunong-pinong kurot. So, ngayon siya na umaayaw. Masakit daw mga ganti ko. Tameme szn na niya now. Baka kasi tumatanda na rin.

Sabi ng tatay ko, mas nakakatakot daw ako sa nanay ko. Saka pati raw lakad at postura ng nanay ko, kuhang-kuha ko. LUH. 'Di puwede 'yun kasi Mother Dragon is super ugh in all levels. Hahahahaha. In fairness naman kasi sa dad ko now, nakukuha na siya sa irap at saka low voice. 'Di lagi, pero minsan I find it magical and insane. Hahahaha. Tapos sasabihin niya na susunod na lang daw siya sa sinasabi ko kesa mahagupit siya. LOL. Again, I'm not bragging about this kasi nga, nanay ko ang pinnacle of ka-terror-an sa household namin kahit dedsss na siya matagal.

Anyway, balik tayo sa errands and prepper mode sa mga avalanche and stampede in a few hours that will become days, dhzaiiii. 'Yung PL ko, worship songs na progressive na levels real quick. Napaka-unholy na naman natin ng Sabbath day, pero, sabi nga, grind it like it's hot. Ganern. Wala e. Upgraditis szn is officially on, kaya naman, eto na ang hindi trending, at hindi pinipilahang tambak ng labada. Taruuuuh!

[ryan59103]

Investment Potential For The Apartments in Nagpur

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[riyasingh281997]

Investment Potential For Apartments in Nagpur

Unlock the investment potential of apartments in Nagpur with EzeeBiz. Explore lucrative opportunities in Nagpur's real estate market and make informed investment decisions today. Discover prime locations, amenities, and growth prospects for your next property venture.

[study-abroadlife]

CIELTS Classes In Nagpur | Contact Us |Study Abroad Lifeontact Study Abroad Life Nagp

Study Abroad Consultants in Nagpur - Study Abroad Life

studyabroadlife.org

visas

Education

Our association with Global universities that offer several courses covering all streams and disciplines have made us one of the best study-abroad consultants in Nagpur. Studying abroad is no longer difficult, especially if students get the proper assistance from Study Abroad, experts like SAL. Getting an education abroad is the dream of every Indian child. To make this dream a reality, Study Abroad Life always strives. We have helped thousands of children with foreign education through our online platform. We are leading overseas education consultants based in Nagpur. If you also want to study abroad or wish to study in UK, USA, Canada, Australia, New Zealand or Ireland or any other country, then contact us. We will assist you with your application to a visa. Foreign education is a life changing experience which not everyone gets easily. If you want to have this experience, then call Study Abroad Life today.

Sep 22, 2023

Take the iBT TOEFL EXAM today! – Telegraph

graph.org

ibt

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Prepare effectively for the IELTS iBT exam with our comprehensive guidance and support. From expert study materials to personalized assistance, we're here to help you excel at every stage of your preparation. Boost your confidence, enhance your skills, and achieve your desired IELTS iBT score with our dedicated and proven approach.

[best-school-nagpur]

Nevertheless, searching for a better junior college in Nagpur can be easier if M K H Sancheti Public School & Junior College is looked at more closely. M K H Sancheti is a premier institute, being said to be the best junior college in Nagpur and one of India’s top 10 senior colleges. Here is your easy guide to choosing the perfect junior college for all your educational dreams.

[indianvaidyas]

Infertility is a medical condition characterized by the inability to conceive after a year of regular, unprotected sexual intercourse. Both men and women can experience fertility issues, and it can be caused by various factors. To reverse infertility holistically, book a consultation with an Ayurvedic doctor in Nagp

[idlaesy]

Ika-11 ng Agosto, 2023

Biyernes, 01:48 n.g.

Klyde,

Nanonood ako ng I’m Drunk, I Love You, at Klyde, naalala kita. Isa ‘to sa mga paborito mo e. Ganda rin talaga ng mga kanta rito.

Kanina, gusto ko lang talaga may nagpe-play na audio dahil sinusubukan ko matulog. Gusto ko ng ingay. Ingay na may nagsasalita. Kaya lang, bumangon din ako dahil pakiramdam ko may regla na ako, pumunta ako ng CR. No’ng pabalik ako sa kuwarto, nakita ko sa lamesa ‘yung 1.5 na bote ng Coke. Walang laman. Sinalinan ko ng tubig. Nilagay ko sa ref. Hahahaha, alam mo bang isa ‘yan sa mga pinag-aawayan dito sa bahay? Kapag walang tubig na malamig. Pagbukas ko ng ref, nakita ko itong may bawas na bote ng Kopiko “Lucky Day”, Thai ‘yung ibang sulat, hindi ko maintindihan. Kinuha ko, na-curious ako bakit may gano’n sa ref namin? Sa kapatid ko kaya ‘to? Bahala na. Dinala ko na lang hanggang higaan. No’ng tinikman ko, hindi ko nagustuhan ‘yung lasa, ang pakla. Tinamad akong tumayo ulit at maglakad hanggang kusina kaya tinitiis ko siyang lagukin hanggang ngayon. Nasabi ko ba sa’yong hindi ako pala-kape?

Pocha, late ko na na-realize na mas nakakagising nga pala ‘tong kape, kaya tiyak ko nang hindi na naman ako makakatulog nang maaga. At mas pocha, kasi ito na naman, sinusulatan na naman kita.

Minsan iniisip ko, naghihintayan lang kaya tayo kung sino ang unang magcha-chat? Kung sinong unang kakausap?

Nakakainis na nasa-justify ko minsan ‘yung pagka-miss ko sa’yo kapag may regla ako. Mag-aaway lang kami ng sarili ko tapos sasabihin ko, “Sige na, ngayon lang, may regla lang. Puwede ka makaramdam.”

Gustong-gusto kitang i-chat. Gusto kong magtanong kung tuloy ka ba sa pagba-bike mo mamayang 5 am. Gusto ko ring itanong kung may sinabi ba ‘yung mga kaibigan mo tungkol doon sa marami kong tawag.

Kaya lang… siyempre may kaya lang. Iniisip ko, baka may ginagawa ka. Sabi mo pa naman noon sa akin, busy ka, kaya hindi mo nacha-chat si Jia. Ito rin ‘yung rason kung bakit hindi ko magawang mag-chat sayo nang una e. Baka busy ka. Baka nanonood ka. Baka may kasabay ka manood… Baka kapag nag-chat ako, bigla mong masabi nang malakas sa kausap mo na nag-chat ako.

Hala, gusto ko tuloy itanong sa’yo ‘to ngayon. Sandali.

Tsinek ko ‘yung profile mo, hahahahaha, nakakatawa, nag-on pa ako ng Active Status sa Messenger. Active ka raw 36 minutes ago. Hala, nakatulog ka ba? Hindi ka na tuloy? E may notes ka pa sa IG na gumawa ka ng itinerary, ah? Mag-hi ba ako? Ugh.

Grabe itong mga tumatakbo sa isip ko. Medyo sumasakit pa itong tiyan ko. Sa kape ba? Tiyan ba ‘tong masakit sa akin o puson? Anak ng teteng.

At pala, dalawampu’t isang minuto na lang ‘tong natitira sa pelikulang pinapanood ko. Hay, Carson. Gusto ko na ring gumraduweyt.