#nadja would love it for similar reasons to laszlo

[cookinguptales]

nandorisms said: I don't think it was ever going to work in the first place. Freddie was a bandaid. A last-ditch effort at trying to have a normal life outside of Nandor and his clusterfuck of a found family. But he isn't normal and hasn't been for years. Freddie was Guillermo trying to convince himself that he could move on, and Marwa was Nandor's effort to convince Guillermo to stay.

----------

tbh, I agree.

I think that Freddie very much was an "I don't need them, I don't need any of them" solution for Guillermo while he was in London.

Like... Guillermo was at his most loyal in s3. Like distressingly loyal sometimes. And what did that get him? At his absolute highest moment of happiness, he's shoved in a fucking box and mailed across the ocean. No one comes to save him, no one is there to comfort him. He has a moment in that box where he truly fears death, and he is despondent. He realizes that he has dedicated his entire life to people who (he believes) would not do the same for him, and he has in the process alienated his family and all the other humans who might have loved him.

Then he does live but he is utterly alone. He's away from the house and the very meager support system he'd created for himself, Nandor does not come for him, and Nadja seems to have largely abandoned him to his own devices while she did Council stuff.

So he's alone for the first time in his life, both physically and emotionally, and he meets this guy. And this guy talks to him and says nice things to him and doesn't actively abuse him, which puts him miles above most people he knows. So Freddie becomes really, really easy for Guillermo to romanticize. He's another option to the insanity his life has become, and one that is at that moment very attractive.

I think at that point, Freddie really comes to symbolize all the things Guillermo can have if he chooses to be human. This is a human man who thinks that Guillermo is normal and likes the "normal" version of Guillermo. Guillermo can go on daytime dates with this guy. He doesn't have to worry about being killed when he goes out with him. Freddie treats him like a normal human would -- which doesn't quite have the highs that Guillermo has come to expect, but not the lows, either.

Freddie is a guy that Guillermo could bring home to his family, which is another thing that Guillermo is strongly prioritizing in s4 after his experience in London. Which is one reason why it's so fascinating that even after he successfully came out to his family, it doesn't appear that he ever told them about Freddie. Was he just waiting for the right time? Or was there something subconsciously holding him back...

Because the thing is... when Guillermo finally makes it back to Staten Island, he realizes he was wrong. Nandor never meant to abandon him; if anything, Nandor believes that Guillermo abandoned him. Nandor immediately offers him this place of honor at his side, and it's something new. It's not professional and it's not romantic and Guillermo allows himself to throw himself into it because it doesn't upset the very delicate balancing act he currently has in his head.

And then... the others follow suit. Baby Colin comes to love his caretakers, and Guillermo clearly cares about him back. His sniping with Laszlo eventually calms down to a place of mutual respect, as far as childrearing goes. Nadja finally comes to trust him enough to help her manage the club (a bad choice, considering they are very similar in all the worst ways) and they have that really lovely bonding moment over family.

Guillermo, in other words, is being presented with a third option. Not the dismissive vampires from before and not the allure of normalcy, but a vampiric world in which he is ultimately respected, if not completely accepted as one of their own.

But Guillermo is loyal to a fault and he couldn't give up this fantasy of what Freddie could be to him -- someone who loved him, someone who he could be normal with, someone he wouldn't have to sacrifice his family for, someone who would finally, finally put him first. Until it becomes painfully obvious that Freddie would never be that person and Guillermo was only ever romanticizing a relationship just as toxic as all the ones he'd had previously.

And I think that that point Guillermo really had to come to terms with what he wanted and what he was capable of. I do really wish that the show had followed that character arc a little closer (Guillermo realizing that his human parts and his supernatural parts were at odds with each other and he was going to have to make some hard choices) but I think you can see that in his final choice.

Guillermo, to put a long story short, chooses a fourth option. He's given up on Freddie handing him his happiness and he's given up on Nandor handing him his happiness. He's finally chosen to throw himself bodily into the world of vampirism, giving up on his human potential and demanding full vampiric acceptance, and he's going to make that life himself.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ We'll see if it works.

And god, Marwa is a whole different post. I have a lot of thoughts about the way that Nandor thinks of his wives (and Guillermo, to a lesser extent) as extensions of himself, his to control, possess, and manipulate -- but how the thing that he's really most attracted to is rebellion and the ability to think for oneself. And how that also tied in with how he saw Freddie as an extension of Guillermo and therefore something that he needed to possess as well.

lmao they're both so bad at this.

[resident-sean-expert]

short Seanzlo fic :

It was a quiet day on Staten Island, Guillermo was taking care of the house, Nadja was brushing the doll's hair and Sean was smoking.

Perhaps the day was more troubled than it seemed.

-----

For the second time, Laszlo tried to kiss his neighbour.

Unsuccessful, the vampire found himself hypnotizing Sean again... problem... The hypnosis didn't work anymore and that pissed Sean off.

It's quite paradoxical, after all he thought for the longest time that he was suffering from early onset dementia, just like his mother.

And his frequent migraines were absolutely unbearable and made him want to pick up the first gun he could find to end his suffering.

So why was he so angry?

Maybe because he couldn't pretend anymore ? Laszlo would eventually realize his trickery.

-----

Sean took a drag from his cigarette and looked over the hedge, it was here that he had fallen in love with his neighbour.

As the man gardened, he imagined what it would be like to be in the grip of these expert hands.

Sean was no saint, and of course had imagined all sorts of scenarios with his best friend, indeed, no one with reason can resist the charm of Laszlo Cravensworth.

But he couldn't help the lump in his stomach, he was afraid.

-----

How was he supposed to kiss his friend when the voice in his head, very similar to his father's, was telling him to die; at the thought of touching a man more than necessary.

It wasn't healthy, and Sean didn't want to start another unhealthy, codependent relationship, he'd already caused Charmaine enough pain, his friend deserved peace and someone worthwhile.

Still, Laz's lips would be soft on his skin.

He dropped his cigarette and crushed it with his heel.

Sean felt the aura of the migraine coming on again, by reflex he took a deep breath and cursed the man who had been tormenting him for several years already.

-----

It was after all a quiet day.

[rainbowstrashpile]

i feel like we as a fandom don't talk enough about nandor holding guillermo up just by his feet as guillermo casually dusts the chandelier. it's clearly nbd now but the first time that happened must have been such an lgbt moment for guillermo

You're right we really don't talk about it enough. For as aloof as Nandor tries to be again and again he's seen as touching Guillermo. He boops his nose or pokes his tummy. He holds his hand at least twice a day getting in and out of coffin (it's actually a casket, by the way. Coffins are the more traditional ones Nadja and Laszlo sleep in. Caskets are just the plain rectangles. They're not really interchangeable name wise). Anyway, part of it I think is that Nandor comes from a time and culture where it wasn't taboo for men to casually touch one another. I'm afab/female presenting (I'm woman adjacent is the best I can shorten it to) and current society doesn't care if I casually touch other female presenting friends/family. Where with men touch is seen mostly as something to do with romantic/sexual intent.

Which is in fact very sad because there's pretty much no difference in male/female brains and as a species we all need and crave touch from each other.

Now, Guillermo is male presenting and grew up in the extremely hyper masculine/violently homophobic 90s/00s in a repressed Catholic environment. I cannot imagine him interpreting, at least subconsciously, those touches as just Nandor being a guy out of time who isn't aware these things have different connotations now. That being said, I can't off the top of my head think of him touching anyone else like he touches Guillermo.

Guillermo is almost exclusively the only person he touches at all. The way the show itself frames it is that it's similar to Laszlo and Nadja, a very much in love, hyper sexual married couple. So like yeah, it probably didn't start lgbt, but it's deffo ending there.

Anyway, I would imagine Nandor watching Guillermo trying to stack chairs to get to high places in the house, or use a rickety ladder they have in in the potting shed. Or just jumping up and down batting at cob webs. He's probably on his fucking aggro crag of antique chairs trying to dust the chandelier and falls. When Nandor swoops in and saves him.

Guillermo gets to land in his big strong arms bridal style and stare up at his handsome face with a dazed, awed expression like, "Oh, Master. You saved me!"

And Nandor has a moment of 'damn this kid is adorable and makes my tummy do weird flippy flops when he stares at me with his sparkly brown eyes. I hate it and can't wait to do it again.'

So from then on when he dusts high places Nandor is like I will hold you aloft. For safety reasons. And no other confusing feelings reasons that involve your pretty curls or the way you make me feel when you look at me with unabashed awe. And it becomes part of the routine that is secretly both their favorites.

[sharpezart]

i want to take a moment to talk into the void about the dynamic of Rio and Murdoc, which I'm sure on the surface can seem like an out of character relationship choice for Murdoc and indeed would be considered one for Rio if anyone should know her other than me (which they do not.)

Anyways, I get into it under this vv ... its more for My own "worldbuilding" for my art, but figured i could post it if anyone wanted a peek! muah <3

Firrrst if all, if you are familiar with What We Do in the Shadows as a series, the dynamic of Murdoc and Rio once they actually get together is similar to Laszlo and Nadja. Which does in fact mean they are some level of in love and the fact that their relationship is open (moreso on Murdoc's end of things, Rio is content as is though she does have a few rare one-night stands) doesn't change that.

Rio and Murdoc are both different levels of self involved. Rio at least is drawn to her less selfish side, and her egotism is much more of an addition to her criminal behaviour, feeling the need to have an "i dont give a fuck, i can do anything i want" attitude. Hers is also far more rooted in genuine confidence than Murdocs'. It is grounded in reason and surviving hellish experiences.

Well, they both know about hellish experiences. Just another thing in common!

Rio tends to be uninterested in the affairs of others, less involved in the lives of her friends. Murdoc is this way to a degree but has the tendency to be overinvolved as well, where he believes he /should/ know the business of his bandmates and often feels put off if he doesn't.

Murdoc is a very push-and-pull fellow, personality wise. He pushes to come across as tough, cool, dangerous, sexy and desirable. This feeds into self involvement. The persona! The great Act! ...and he pulls to try and be a decent bloke, a caring, attentive friend and a pleasant man to be 'round. His needs (patience, love, care) and wants (attention, power, praise) claw at each other, and usually the persona wins. Ever the show off.

Rio doesnt have the inner conflict that could cause her to show off....she just /shows off/ because she likes to do /cool shit/. She's unwavering in doing what she wants when she wants to, whether or not the people around her like it. He first choice in life is usually her own freedom...as is Murdocs! Which is interestingly enough the very reason they are so good together!

They place no hindrance on one another in terms of what they like to do, where they go, or who they are with. The decision to be engaged in a relationship comes about because they are both still people, and people enjoy loving and being loved despite their possible avoidance of saying so (and they do avoid saying this to just about everyone else within ear shot! but, not so much each other). It is perhaps the one source of stability in either of their lives...which I know sounds weird. But it makes sense to me. Sometimes people just need that one link to keep the whole chain sticking together, yknow?

When it comes down to it, the person they each enjoy being around most is each other! The person they think to share news with, check in on, pick up a gift or a snack for....Rio is Murdoc's *Person* just as Murdoc is Rio's *Person*. They both own an understanding of the other person and a willingness to continue doing so that is frankly very refreshing to them both.

For all of Murdoc's mindless chatter, flirting, storytelling, and sometimes accidental ignorance, he /does/ put information about Rio Teagan /somewhere/ in his mind, and keeps that part very well taken care of.

Rio has a knack for seeming like she isn't listening, daydreaming, or purposefully ignoring people...but again!! Miraculously she has chosen Murdoc as someone she keeps up with.

They have similarities, enough to relate to each other and understand struggles, choices, humour etc...and they have enough differences that they aren't at odds and can find a relatively stable balance. The most they bicker about is when Murdoc insists a wild story is true, or when Murdoc feels any sort of threatened by the presence of someone else. Rio can sometimes get on his case about his health and communication skills. They usually resolve things relatively quickly because they can kind of easily just "eh, whatever" it and go about their day without holding a grudge...you just cant control people. You REALLY can't control either of THESE people.

so to wrap it up, they both kinda

suck,

as far as being very pleasant people goes, but they seem to do much better for themselves and others when finally paired up.

[lux-mentis]

themes/plot-specific ideas i could hypothetically see in season 2 of wwdits:

1. a reappearance of the werewolf pack. i’d honestly love to see the staten island vampires and the werewolves (begrudgingly) work together to protect the supernatural creatures of the area if, say, vampire hunters or a vampire hunter group come into town. bc while they’re ‘vampire’ hunters, i doubt they’d be kind to any supernatural creature tbh

2. guillermo backstory! i’d love to see his reasons for wanting to become a vampire (besides what has already been mentioned). i think we’ll definitely be getting either an overview of what his life was like before becoming a familiar or maybe even have a concerned family member stop by to check in on guillermo. bonus points if said family member is also secretly a vampire hunter. 

also, i’d kill to find out how guillermo met and became nandor’s familiar. their relationship is certainly building to something (i hope it’s love). furthermore, nandor still often treats guillermo poorly/as only a familiar when we all know that he sees him as a trusted friend. 

3. more of a focus on laszlo--perhaps even a laszlo-centric episode? i just feel like out of the main cast, he got the least amount of characterization. i imagine his similarities to nadja in terms of personality may be explored more. for instance, in s1 we learned that he has a rather... unique moral compass, even for a vampire, since he kept his ‘gentleman’s promise’ to release the animals in the animal control episode, but also has shown that he can be impulsive/reckless considering that he turned a baby into a vampire (nadja is 99% of his impulse control i’m sure). this isn’t counting his confession of being jack the ripper either. 

ooh, i also want to see his artistic/creative side more often--especially his musical talents. 

so anyway, long story short, laszlo’s got a history™ & it’ll be interesting to see how his rather prickly demeanor for most humans (especially guillermo) will culminate... if at all. i’d like to see him eventually learn to tolerate guillermo bc currently, if guillermo snaps, i think laszlo will be the first to face his wrath. 

4. vampire hunter society! aka even more world building. using guillermo as a vehicle for exploring what modern day vampire hunters are like would be super interesting. we could even perhaps get a double-agent moment where the audience is unsure whose side guillermo is actually on (hunters or vampires). i imagine that guillermo, just for the fact of being a descendent of van hellsing, will be treated almost like royalty by the hunters even before they see his innate vampire-hunting abilities. being treated well/obviously appreciated for his skills & talents could def cause a rift between himself and the vampires (who i imagine would be clueless over guillermo’s heritage for the majority of the season) since he’s been so often taken for granted by nandor & company. 

whether guillermo is ‘fated’ to be a vampire hunter (or even worse--fated to kill his housemates) or can invoke free will/autonomy & eventually become a vampire like he’s always dreamed of remains to be seen. but, i do know that the concept itself is an interesting dive into philosophy that i doubt anyone was expecting in a dark comedy abt vampire roommates lmao

5. more jenna and how she’s dealing w/ vampirism. i can see her visiting nadja a lot over next season as she really comes into her own w/ her unique power. i love the relationship between jenna and nadja--of how nadja immediately took her under her wing & believed in her, helped her learn more about her powers/abilities, and never once belittled or made fun of her. nadja is a great vampire parental-like figure to jenna & i think it’d be super sweet to see them bond more (w/ perhaps the addition of laszlo finally warming up and liking someone other than nadja lol).

6. a return of gregor-jeff... in some capacity. i’m betting on either a ‘ghost’ episode where something is haunted by gregor’s spirit/gregor possesses someone to see nadja again OR we get some more world-building and get to see a zombie!gregor since zombies are canon in the original movie. 

7. more of the found family trope. as we saw in the baron’s night out ep, the staten island vampires do sincerely love each other. they’ve built their own family & i think that the concept of a ‘family you choose’ is really interesting when paired w/ vampires bc they can ‘literally’ force a familial/blood connection (by turning a human). either way, i love scenes that reinforce how much the main cast care abt each other. i just want that love to be extended to guillermo more often D: 

[citizen-zero]

@evildeerboy okay you joke but I had a similar thought. I don’t know that it turned him into an Oracle but I do feel like hypnosis is…not a one-way street.

I mean, when you touch someone’s skin, you both feel it—it’s not like you feel them but they don’t feel you. Why wouldn’t it be similar for psychic encounters? I’m thinking of the concept of drifting in Pacific Rim—everyone in the drift can get glimpses into each other’s minds and mental states.

And I’m sure there’s vampires who are skilled enough to have figured out how to shield their minds from humans but I do not think Nandor and Laszlo are among them. I don’t even know that it’d occur to them that they might have to, in order to avoid leaving imprints on the human’s subconscious. And I think the more powerful and intense the hypnosis, the more psychic exposure there is.

So I think that maybe Sean didn’t become an Oracle but the brain scramblies did leave him with some…impressions from and insights into Nandor and Laszlo’s minds.

Not that he’s aware of it, of course. And I think whenever it manifests, it gets filtered through Sean’s personality, so it’s more like when you start picking up habits and verbal tics from your friends and family.

But I’m thinking about how his reaction to Charmaine at the end of that episode was reminiscent of how Laszlo talks about Nadja, like she’s the most rapturous being on the planet. I’m thinking about how much more devoted he seems from then on, even when he’s screwing up. It’s not a total personality change but now that I’m thinking about it, it’s very pointed. Even when he’s being kind of a crappy husband I don’t think he talks about her the way he did in the first half of the Super Bowl party episode.

With Nandor, I think the insights were way morn subconscious, like so subconscious that even Nandor maybe didn’t realize they were there. Re: feelings about Guillermo it’s a little more obvious to us now—I don’t think those feelings are all new, not when Guillermo’s been around him for so long. I just think Nandor has gotten to a point where they’re harder to ignore because now there’s a distinct possibility that Guillermo will leave him for good. Like, Guillermo has left before and could do so again. He very well could leave him and find a vampire more willing to turn him. And now that means realizing he doesn’t want him to leave.

The insight on being a big sleeper is another thing. The reason Nandor decided to go into super slumber was because he was dissatisfied with his life and was hoping for a reset, an escape from the context he was unhappy in. I think it’s entirely reasonable for Sean to have gotten some tiny inkling of this during that intense hypnosis, because every season has had at least one episode that deals with Nandor’s dissatisfaction, either with love or just his place in the world. The idea for the super slumber might’ve always been there, it’s only just recently that it happened.

The one flaw in the theory is Colin Robinson (of course), but I think it makes sense that Sean would get that insight. Colin Robinson doesn’t do hypnosis, but the act of sapping people’s physical and mental energy is still a form of psychic manipulation that exposes minds to each other. And as we’ve seen, this kind of psychic exposure leaves someone with insight into the nature and mind of another person, and gives them ideas the hypnotist may not even be aware of. So all that exposure on its own could be enough, but remember that Sean was around Colin Robinson when he got the brain scramblies. He could’ve picked up information that even Colin didn’t know.

Or maybe he did know and forgot—how many times has Colin Robinson gone through this cycle? And I mean, if you’re in your teens or 20s, think about all the things you’ve forgotten about from your life; how much more would you have forgotten by the time you hit 100, even if you’re not afflicted by conditions that deteriorate your mind? Colin Robinson is the most human of all of them, I’m pretty sure he had a human grandmother. Would his family have known what he was? Would they just think he was a strange orphaned baby? If so, they’d not told him about his origins since they wouldn’t have known.

So all of this is my Watsonian analysis of the brain scramblies lore. The Doylist explanation is that the writers thought it’d be funny for SEAN to be the one to deliver the foreshadowing.

okay here’s why I think Nandermo is endgame. like I think it’s obvious that it’s gonna be endgame HOWEVER I’m rewatching the series now that we have a premiere date for s4 (July 12 fyi) and I noticed a small detail and I now fully believe Sean, yes the neighbor Sean, is our source of foreshadowing

so in s3ep5, “The Chamber of Judgment,” we have a scene where Sean is lamenting to Laszlo the fact that he’s in deep debt to the dude that he bought all the Guy Pillows from. He’s also expressing disappointment over the fact that neither Laszlo nor Colin Robinson have bought any of the pillows as well as disappointment over the fact that “Nandor and his boyfriend” didn’t show up.

So obviously it’s exciting, but we could just write this off as Sean making an assumption about the two (and honestly, from an outside perspective he isn’t wrong to assume that). However, the reason I think it’s foreshadowing is because of what he says immediately before that:

Sean: …and I was counting on, uh, you know, Newman Robinson or whatever the fuck his name is…

Laszlo: Who?

Sean: The guy who looks like a fetus.

Remind me again, what’s Colin Robinson’s status as of the season 3 finale? 👀

In that scene, Sean also says, “Nandor looks like he’s a real big sleeper, right?” and of course we know that Nandor ended up not going through with the long slumber, but…this scene with Sean preceded that plot point by like, 4 episodes.

And although Nandor decided to stay awake, there was some really serious tension in that episode in a way that there hadn’t been before, and the fact that it was almost the season finale meant that it very well could’ve not been a bluff, especially since the episode before that was “The Wellness Center” and that really shone a light on Nandor’s current dissatisfaction with life. So at that point we were primed for him to do something that would take him out of the picture.

Anyway, like I said, I know it’s kind of obvious at this point but given that 2 of the 3 things Sean said in that scene came to fruition in some way (although if you count the plan to travel together, then it’s all 3), I’m willing to bet money on unambiguous Nandermo endgame.

[cookinguptales]

wwdits tarot: the chariot

A continued thank you for reading my silly tarot thoughts. I’ve really loved seeing what y’all have come up with! I’ve always loved how tarot seems to inspire creativity. :)

I’ll probably talk about this more extensively later, but for those curious, in this deck, I’d assign the Minor Arcana as:

Wands/clubs: candles Pentacles/diamonds: treasure (mainly old gold coins and jewels) Swords/spades: stakes Cups/hearts: those little glasses of blood they seem to favor

I have reasoning for all those choices, but I’ll leave that for after the Major Arcana!

Anyway, time for VII. The Chariot!

The Chariot is a card of strength, determination, and courage. It’s often associated with victory in battle, and versions of this card often depict a scene pertaining to war and warriors.

With all that said, you might think that I’m about to assign this card to Nandor.

NO. My version of The Chariot goes to Laszlo Cravensworth.

I have multiple reasons for this. It is not just because I wanted to put his car on a card.

(Really.)

(But his car will be on the card.)

Anyway, the one defining characteristic of this card is decisive willpower that leads to victory. This is a card that tells you to make a decision and follow it all the way to the bitter end. It tells you to have courage and make bold choices, and to have the willpower to see them through.

When I think of a character in WWDITS who actually makes firm and thoughtful decisions, well — it’s actually Laszlo. Nadja and Nandor are happy enough to chase their ideas around, but how many of them have really had staying power? Most of their ideas collapse around their ears.

But let’s look at Laszlo’s track record. When Jim showed up, Laszlo decided to leave the house and create a new life for himself in order to evade consequences, and he successfully did so. He committed to keeping Colin Robinson’s upcoming death a secret and showed remarkable fortitude when it came to putting up with Colin’s unflagging bullshit. He made a plan to save Colin from the siren, and then he did so. And then he threw himself into tricking his wife into leaving without him so he could (again, successfully) raise Baby Colin.

All of these decisions were made in a split second, but he immediately committed to them and saw them through to their inevitable ends. And more than that, all of these endeavors were pretty successful. Usually when Laszlo puts his mind to something, it gets done. That’s… not always a good thing for everyone else, but within his own mind, he has a remarkable success rate.

And jesus, just ask Gregor if Laszlo is a successful warrior or not.

Laszlo often seems like the loafer of the household, but when you think about it, he’s more like a snake poised to strike. He certainly conserves his energy for when it matters, but when he makes up his mind to do something? He does it.

The Chariot is a card of great confidence, and Laszlo is 100% a confidence man, in every sense of the word. Like — if nothing else, Laszlo Cravensworth always commits to the bit, whether that’s a long con or a short one.

I think that Laszlo would be a good match for The Chariot either way, but I've got an ulterior motive for choosing this one. I’m also interested in the way that The Chariot and its sister card, Strength, both look at different kinds of inner strength. Like The Magician and The High Priestess, they both discuss a similar idea but expressed in different ways. Like The Magician, The Chariot is a card of outward power while Strength and The High Priestess want you to consider a more interior kind of power.

Spoilers, I suppose, but I want to use these two cards to discuss Laszlo and Nadja and how their strengths, weaknesses, and respective traumas really kind of complement each other. Both of them are extremely strong vampires, but they face challenges in drastically different ways.

Of the two, Laszlo is better at tackling outside problems and actually emerging victorious, while Nadja is better at withstanding adversity. If Laszlo is a confidence man good at worming out of tough situations, Nadja is a woman who will stand her ground, take the hits, and keep on coming. She’s a vampire who’s used to being attacked — and being the one to emerge from the ensuing puddle of blood come hell or high water.

I’ll talk more about Nadja as Strength next time, but for now, I did want to talk about that concept of interiority vs. exteriority. At first glance, I think you’d definitely think that Nadja is the exterior and Laszlo the interior. He keeps to himself much more often and Nadja is by far the brasher of the two.

But… being real with you, Laszlo is probably the only one of the entire main cast who could successfully live amongst humans if he had to. (And yes, I am including Guillermo in that.) He has a remarkable talent for analyzing real-world situations and turning them to his best advantage immediately.

Nadja has big dreams — but Laszlo has realistic ones. I think that’s why he’s so good at actually exteriorizing his ideas and getting what he’s aiming for, even when it hurts him. Nadja’s power is more in the theoretics, I think, but Laszlo’s is extremely concrete. He, like The Djinn, specializes in bringing plans to fruition; he creates tangible results.

That said, as differently as both approach the question of strength and results, the two of them complement each other on a deep and fundamental level. Laszlo is always happy to support his lady wife’s dreams and help her turn them into something approaching reality. When she creates an elaborate plan like a vampire night club, he’s the one working to supply the moneymaker. When she wants to go to England to join the international vampiric council, he’s the one who will make sure she’s protected on the way.

On the other hand, Nadja’s stubborn fortitude and at times canny emotional perception have helped her husband just as much. While he looks out for her physical welfare, she looks out for his internal emotional one. Her stubborn brand of compassion has helped him come to understand his own feelings and trauma, and she is often there to help draw him out of his moods when they get to be too bad.

Put plainly, for a woman who has always experienced extreme housing/familial/physical insecurity, a man who is focused on keeping her safe, happy, and physically cared for makes her feel secure. For a man who was constantly emotionally neglected growing up, a woman who helps him come to terms with that abuse and loves him anyway makes him feel secure.

Both are strong and both are weak, but both of them know how to use both that strength and that weakness to create a healthy partnership.

I love them, your honor.

Anyway, that’s definitely what I was trying to get at by making Laszlo and Nadja The Chariot and Strength.

But also, yeah, the car.

Speaking of which…

The RSW version of The Chariot depicts a warrior coming home from a successful battle in his war chariot. It is being carried by twin sphinxes. They are two different colors and facing two different directions, showing The Chariot’s ability to control all of his resources and options, even when they appear to contradict.

(In other words, The Chariot’s pretty good at herding cats.)

There are quite a few celestial and alchemical symbols here, which speak to divine will and the capability for self-transformation, but these ideas are brought down to earth, so to speak, by the square on his chest that symbolizes the earth.

Our Laszlo doesn’t have a chariot, but I am told that he has a pretty nice jalopy.

Instead of armor, I’d have Laszlo wearing his driving outfit (we all know his best armor is emotional walls, anyway) and instead of a chariot pulled by two beasts, he’d be in his car, of course. I’d have his headlights be two different colors, though, to symbolize the two options that he is corralling into one path ahead of him.

And instead of a starry canopy, why not just have him driving out under the stars? He deserves it, as a little treat.

(Even if The Guide is still kind of mad at him.)

wwdits tarot masterpost

[cookinguptales]

I feel like the more I write Nandor, the more obsessed I get with his obvious abandonment issues and the way that Guillermo doesn’t seem to realize that he’s capable of adding to them.

Like... Guillermo knows that Nandor is lonely. He understands that he’s sad about his wives running away from him and his family being dead. That said... I think Guillermo understands all this on an objective level but that doesn’t mean really gets it, y’know? What that’s done to Nandor over the years.

Nandor, more than any other vampire we’ve seen, is weird about loss. If you think about it, probably every vampire we’ve ever known has gone through some similar tribulations. Losing your friends, family, and loved ones has to be pretty par for the course for vampires, right...? But it’s really fucked Nandor up.

(I mean, deciding to flee the country so he doesn’t get left behind by Laszlo and Nadja first? Okay!!)

Nandor lost a lot when he was turned. Dozens of wives (most of whom apparently hated him anyway), his children, his armies... This pretty clearly affected him more than he lets on (see: how upset he was when Madeline died), but I don’t think that’s even all of it? He lost Jehan long before he died and he’s not over that one yet, either. He steadfastly refuses to handle the way that Gail always leaves him, too. I think to some degree it’s just Nandor’s personality to be profoundly affected by loss.

To a person like that, I can see how vampirism would come to feel like a curse. I think it’s interesting that every time he gets interested in a woman (even if he barely knows her) he defaults to OKAY NOW I WANT TO MAKE YOU A VAMPIRE SO WE CAN BE TOGETHER FOREVER. Like he’s very focused on making sure they are just as immortal as him so, like his family, wives, and Jehan, they will not die before he does.

So then Guillermo... It’s an interesting case because Nandor’s response to him is very similar to some of his lost loved ones, but also the polar opposite. Guillermo clearly means a lot to him, more than Nandor will even admit to himself, and Nandor loses his damn mind every time Guillermo leaves. At the end of s2, he was starting to approach manic levels of “I’M FINE THIS IS FINE I DON’T MISS HIM I AM ACTING NORMAL.” He was willing to completely humiliate himself to bring Guillermo back in s2e8, too.

More importantly, I think, he does tend to treat Guillermo’s extended absences the same way he treats Gail’s. A part of him always believes Guillermo will come back. Also, he gets increasingly twitchy when he doesn’t, he’s fully willing to debase himself in order to get him back, and once he does come back, Nandor never seems to hold it against him that he left. (But he does get more and more upset every time it happens.) 

I think part of the reason Nandor can never get over Gail is the same reason why he can’t get over Guillermo... He can’t bring himself to believe that they won’t come back to him. And, in his defense, he’s been right.

But unlike Gail and Meg, Nandor will not even consider turning Guillermo. It’s a complete non-starter. Some of this is probably built-up familiar bias in his head, but I think it’s deeper than that, too... I think the big difference here is what turning Guillermo will mean. For someone like Gail, turning her means that they can be together forever. Nandor no longer needs to worry about her dying of old age like the rest of his family. For Guillermo, though, the two of them essentially have a contract. Guillermo will stay with him until Nandor makes him a vampire. Then? He can leave.

Now, I don’t think for a minute that Guillermo has ever planned on leaving once bitten. And I think that Nandor, on a conscious level, likes to believe that Guillermo will stay, too. (See: the glitter portrait depicting the two of them together as vampires.) But on a subconscious level, the one that’s been left over and over and over again, often by Guillermo... Yeah, I think he worries. I think it’s telling that the only thing Guillermo could do to get a promise out of Nandor that he’d turn him was leave. The fear of Guillermo leaving now was evidently stronger than his fear that he’d leave later.

And I don’t think that Guillermo fully understands any of this. He gets that Nandor has weird loss issues; he says as much in the s3 finale. But I don’t think it was until the cult episode that Guillermo even considered that leaving Nandor both times had hurt him. What he said then, “I guess I know now how it feels. All the times I left or quit.” I think that it’s telling. And you know, every time we see how upset Nandor gets, but he does his best to never let Guillermo know how much he misses him. So maybe he just... doesn’t get it. That he’s put Nandor on edge. That he’s added to his abandonment issues. That he has become one more person that Nandor can lose.

I think the fact of the matter is that Guillermo doesn’t realize he can hurt Nandor that badly just by leaving because Nandor’s repeatedly told him that he won’t miss him when he’s gone -- and Guillermo’s believed him. Guillermo’s self-esteem is definitely growing and I think, again, that he’s starting to understand what his past choices have led to... but I think it’s still difficult for him to conceptualize that his absence can have such a profound meaning on those around him. He doesn’t realize that he has that much power over Nandor yet.

But I guess Guillermo also didn’t see the way Nandor called his name on that train platform. :’)

It’s ironic, because I think all Guillermo has ever really wanted all these years was for Nandor to ask him to stay. He doesn’t realize that, in his own way, Nandor has been doing it pretty much nonstop.

Please just use your words, my stupid darlings...

[cookinguptales]

At the night market Guillermo called Nandor “Master”, at least I think I heard him say that. But I believe he did that just to keep up appearances in front of all the other vampires.? Guillermo didn’t call Nandor “Master” all season long otherwise, right? Do you think Guillermo still attends to some of his familiar duties? Does Nandor dress himself, gets out of the coffin alone, brush his hair on his own? Who is getting them their food/ their victims? We haven’t seen them feed yet in s4 (Aside from Sal, who was killed and we were told that they will drink him later).

He's done it a few times, actually, including when it's just the two of them. He did it, for instance, when he was calling for Nandor and trying to find him when he broke into his treasure room. I'm not sure he even knew the cameras were down there when he was calling for him, so I don't think it was for their benefit.

That said, it's way less regular (usually he just doesn't refer to him as anything at all) and he's also much more likely to just refer to him as "Nandor" as opposed to "my master" in interviews, though I've noticed that they've also cut Guillermo's interviews way down. (Something that makes me nervous, tbh; is there a reason they want to keep Guillermo's motivations more mysterious? Was it just the embezzling thing or is there more...?)

I think that he's probably still doing some familiar duties, but only for Nandor. He's obviously washed his hands of Nadja and Laszlo, he seems resentful when they ask him to do anything these days, and he's not bothering to fix up the house. That said, it could just be that it's such a wreck that it's not worth cleaning it. There are no bodies piling up, so it could be that he's at least doing that.

The fact that Nandor's first response upon waking up is to call for Guillermo makes me think that Guillermo's probably still helping him with his morning/evening routines. But that could also just be that he pretty much defaults to calling Guillermo for help and he's still not used to doing things himself. Guillermo didn't immediately come, but it was the middle of the day (so he could be asleep or out) and there also wasn't long before the scene ended. Possible he just couldn't get there within thirty seconds. lmao

The fact that he had no idea what Nandor would be wearing what he was in 4.05 kind of seems to imply that he's not dressing him every time, but I think there were probably exceptions to him dressing Nandor a few times when he was busy in s1-3, too. (Like I don't think Guillermo was dressing him for the gym, for instance.) So I'm not sure if that's evidence one way or the other...

He's definitely doing a lot of work for Nandor, but it's hard to say if he considers that part of being a familiar or part of being a best man. (Or occasionally being Uncle Memo.) He took care of the wives, wedding planning, and Nandor's dick, but that could be best man/friend stuff. Even if the Djinn clearly saw that last one as a familiar thing and was trying to manipulate him as such... He wasn't given much of a chance in 4.04 to do anything for Nandor one way or another (other than the whole pokemon battle situation, but idk how much choice he had there); they mostly just bickered like a married couple in the rest of the Night Market.

He obviously still cares about Nandor very deeply and that muddies the waters a lot. How much is he doing for him because it's what a familiar does, how much does he do because it's become habit to babysit him, and how much does he do because he loves him...? idk. Hard to say.

He's done a lot of care work for Colin Robinson, too, and seems to think of himself in a nanny role, which seems to kind of go along with familiar... but again, it's unclear if he considers that to be a personal choice rather than an obligation as familiar. He served water during the interview, similar to how he served food to the human gf when the vampires came to visit in s3, but that might've, again, just been for Colin's sake. Like Nandor, it's entirely possible that he's just caring for the people that he loves here as opposed to doing it because it's his "job". (Then again, he always seemed to consider being a familiar a labor of love, too...)

I do think that Guillermo is definitely falling into some very familiar (no pun intended) familiar patterns, but he's coming up with a million and one reasons to excuse that. He's caring for Nandor as much as ever and in ways that are even more onerous than they used to be, but he can say that's because he's his best man and his friend. He's caring for Colin Robinson to the point where he considers himself an unappreciated nanny, but he can say that's because he won't let a child be abused. He's doing a fair amount of work (it seems) for the club, but he can say that's just because he wants to skim off the top.

Guillermo keeps repeating this whole looking out for number one thing, but it seems that he's falling into a lot of the old patterns that got him into this mess; he's just conceptualizing them a different way. He's in denial, I think. He can come up with a reason for every horrible, annoying thing he's doing for this household, but he's still behaving like a familiar, to some degree. Just a very bitchy one. Which I respect.

I guess it's hard to say because Guillermo's familiar status was always so tied up in his codependency. Being a familiar was always more than a job for him. He did it because he loved them and wanted to be a vampire. He clearly still loves them and clearly still wants to take care of them, even if they piss him the hell off. So how much of this was ever being a familiar, and how much of it was just being Guillermo...?

(I will say that I am surprised that Guillermo's allowing so much sunlight to come into Nandor's room during the day, but it's possible that he just hasn't realized what a safety hazard that is yet. He's pretty clearly distracted.)

The one thing that really gives me pause is him not talking about becoming a vampire anymore! I do think he still wants to be one... He kind of sideways alluded to it in 4.01 when he said something along the lines of "one could argue that being a best man is better than being turned into a vampire. I don't know why anyone would, but."

But he hasn't been nearly as direct about it anymore, which makes me wonder if he just has no faith in them ever doing it. (I know that Harvey kind of mentioned this in an interview, but idk how canon it is. Harvey... says a lot of things.) If that's the case, him still being there at all requires considerably more mental gymnastics than I'd previously thought.

I will be genuinely upset if Guillermo ever gives up on being a vampire, unless it's to focus on being something else similarly supernatural, but if he's just disillusioned with the vampires a bit, I can handle that. lmao. Giving up the vampire thing would just be too much change in his core motivations happening offscreen, though. I'd hate that.