#nachoblog

[shananigans65]

Telling my bestie @saltypaw84 how ridiculously delicious okonomiyaki is and how magical the okonomiyaki tots are. #wangchungs #nachosinparadise #nachoblog #nachobffs #totchos (at Wang Chungs Karaoke Bar) https://www.instagram.com/p/B0DC1rvDCNS/?igshid=7mdf24fdcd4m

[sappyeatsnachos-blog]

Been saying this for YEARS

I've been all talk for the last 5+ years I want to start a blog about all the nachos I eat. So this is me eating (literally) my words.

The Nacho Rating System.

There, of course, should be some consistency about how I rate this specific food.

Nachos will be rated from a scale to 1 awesome sauce to 5 awesome sauce ☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️

1 being the lamest nachos that I wasted my calories on, and 5 being a divine gift from the nachos gods.

The rating will be based on 2 basic categories and how they work together. Since nachos is not really a “fancy food” price will not factor in the rating but will be mentioned. I broke the integrity of nachos down to 2 category:

First chips, simple enough.

Second toppings, not so simple, infact vastly diverse category. (I wanted to have a cheese or beans catagory, but realized fusion nachos like ahi nachos won't have these ingredients, so will generalize them all to "toppings" instead)

[vancouvernachoblog]

West Side Story 2: Tony's Revenge! Location: Local Public Eatery

2210 Cornwall Ave @ Yew St

Welcome to the first edition of Kitsilano Trail: The Great Migration! Saddle up, folks! We're heading west!

To carry out a successful voyage along this rugged, uncharted terrain, one must summon the spirit of Lewis and Clark and the infinite courage of a three-legged gazelle. Beyond these key characteristics, it's important to equip yourself with the appropriate supplies and transportation. Think Oregon Trail. It is suggested that you choose the lighter, more agile prairie schooner, have on hand approximately 150lbs of food per person, and hire a pair of well-groomed oxen. Why not a horse, you ask? Though slower and less awe-inspiring, an ox comes at a far cheaper price and it is content chowing down on succulent roadside grasses. Think of the savings! Also, if you run out of food you can always fry up some non-GMO grass-fed ox burgers. Who doesn't enjoy a BBQ?!

Life on the trail is no walk in the park. The weather is unpredictable, old-timey diseases run rampant, and there's always a river to ford. Snake bites, broken limbs and falling victim to the raging currents while maneuvering your caravan across one of those pesky waterways: the struggles are never ending. Jeez! I'm starting to reconsider! Why risk it all for the sake of reviewing some random plate of nachos? Travel by wagon, in this day and age? This clearly makes no sense at all! In my defence, I was mostly basing this method of transportation on the fact that Amish people still cruise around in buggies and they seem pretty cool. Although, I'm not the best judge of what's considered cool these days. Maybe I'll just take the bus. Transit is fun! And economical...

As prepared as I was for the wagon trip, I was vastly unprepared for my dining experience at the Public Eatery. It's like stepping into a night club! You may argue, based on my last statement, that I have never been to a night club before. Aside from your doubts, I know there are at least two requirements: loud music and muscly guys desperately trying to attract the attention of ladies (or other guys, depending on the club. Oh, and let's not forget ladies scoping out ladies!) I think you get the picture.

The Eatery definitely meets both requirements. Sadly, I was a little under-dressed and failed to pop my collar or puff out my chest upon entering the restaurant. The ladies were not impressed. But more importantly, I was not entirely impressed with the nachos. Right. The nachos – that's the task at hand!

These nachos look great on the surface, but beneath their gussied-up exterior lies an empty, passionless soul. Where did it all go wrong? Well, I think some key elements of nacho basics were overlooked or lost in the Eatery's obsession with appearance. I wont go into too much detail because I was quite tipsy and, as usual, failed to take notes. Does that statement discredit my blog? Nah, I think we're still relevant. Luckily, we did manage to get some of it on tape so at some point I'll edit the footage and share.

A few things are deserving of our attention. First off, the salsa and sour cream are served directly on the nachos. I think this whole idea of drizzling the condiments straight on to the nachos has to stop. It makes for some soggy-ass chips! And the salsa wasn't even really salsa, so to speak. It seems like they just sprayed around some watery Old El Paso Taco Mix. That's not salsa, folks! Secondly, the price to portion was way off! I know it's Kitsilano, but $18 for that tiny plate? Come on, you guys. They also offer pulled chicken for a few extra bucks but once again it's a minuscule amount. I want to feel drowsy and bloated after cramming a hefty plate nachos down my throat! All in all, they weren't too bad. I think if these issues were addressed we'd have one high-flying nacho dish!

Speaking of issues, before I sign off, I should probably address a matter that has been troubling me for some time now. In my last western-themed post (See: Regal Beagle), I was a little preoccupied with stating the differences between the east and west side of Vancouver. By doing so I have inadvertently started a bitter 90s-style hip-hop rivalry! I feel a little responsible considering many of my statements were completely fabricated. I ask that we put our differences aside and celebrate our harmonizing love of nachos. Keep in mind that I still question the significance of doodle-dogs. Someone has to put a stop to poodle cross-breading! Well, the dogs are ok. I'm actually more offended by the hyphenated doodle names. I should start a campaign for no drizzling of condiments and no hyphenated doodle names. Like, lab-ra-doodle, arm-a-doodle, and chimp-a-doodle. Gag-inducing.

I also want to state for the record that I do enjoy the west side of Vancouver and I found this to be a very pleasant visit to Kitsilano. I wasn't even called a "faggot" from a passing car of chachi douche-nuggets. What a joy! To be fair, I do wear cardigans, skinny jeans and go-go boots. I should feel honoured to bear the brunt of their bigotry. I can't really blame them for their spirited catcalls. I am extraordinarily good looking. They can't help but froth at their man-gashes when they see me cruising down West 4th Avenue!

Ummmm...ok. Let's tally up some points!

1 - Portion : 0.5/1 (OK for one)

2 - Price $$$ : 0.25/1 ($18 = Too much for the amount of nachos received)

3 - Chip Quality : 1/1 (Not too shabby)

4 - Cheese Quality : 1/1 (Jack cheese or something)

5 - Chip to Cheese ratio: 1/1 (Nicely balanced or it needs more cheese, I forget which one. Full points!)

6 - Toppings : 0.75/1 (A wee bit sparse)

7 - Jalepenos, yay or nay? : 0/1 (Nay)

8 - Grease factor : 0.5/1 (I still struggle to truly understand this category. Half points!)

9 - Condiments & add ons : 0.25/1 (There was pulled chicken but nothing else...)

10 - Presentation : 1/1 (They were looking pretty sharp!)

Total - 7.25/10! 

[onefootinthegrave]

[shananigans65]

The #nachoponcho is the perfect winter accessory to keep you warm on those chilly evenings. #100happydaysforever #bffs #775inthe808 #battleborn #nachosinparadise #nachoblog #nachofriends (at Kakaako) https://www.instagram.com/p/BujkU8tBsKC/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1jyr3mcpcu0pn

[shananigans65]

Nacho friends. #100happydaysforever #775inthe808 #bffs #nachosinparadise #nachofriends #nachoblog #nachoponcho (at Kakaako) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bujj5lEBbVI/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=ozs4se7sigod

[shananigans65]

Turns out the creators of my new favorite nachos are from Reno (my hometown)! While we were sitting there eating nachos, two more people showed up, one from Tahoe and one from Fallon. It was a Nornev convention at nacho food truck in Poipu. What a small world!!! #100happydaysforever #nachos #nachosinparadise #nachofriends #nornev #775inthe808 #nachoblog #homemeansnevada #battleborn @dustyakopecky @chipwreckedkauai (at KUKUiULA BOAT HARBOR) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bs1v5ulgMY_/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1cccir6kkig7q

[shananigans65]

Omg we found the best nachos in all the land!!! Homemade queso, fresh ingredients, so much flavor. Made new friends too! If on Kauai, you must track down the Chipwrecked food truck. @chipwreckedkauai @dustyakopecky @nachos_in_paradise #100happydaysforever #kauai #nachos #nachosinparadise #nachoblog #nachofriends #socheesy #putquesoinmyfaceo #nachogasm #nachocoma #nachoparty #nacholife #chipwreckedkauai #chipwrecked (at KUKUiULA BOAT HARBOR) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bs1kcJQgRJj/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=t9nqce0oqio7

[shananigans65]

My favorite nights are the nights I spend with #myfavoriteginger especially when it's nacho night. #nachos #nachosinparadise #nachofriends #irishnachos #redbush #lovelyladies #loveisintheairanditsmellslikenachos #nachoblog (at Kelley O'Neil's)

[shananigans65]

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Rum tour!!! All 34 varieties of Hawaiian sugarcane! #100happydaysforever #kohanarum #nachoponcho #nachosinparadise #nachoadventure #nachoblog #nachobffs @ambirosetulitops (at Kō Hana Rum) https://www.instagram.com/p/BtZjqaDBjDS/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1jx1vooh01sy7

[shananigans65]

Continuing our tradition, chorizo breakfast nachos! #100happydaysforever #nachos #nachosinparadise #nachoblog #nachofriends #brunchos (at Rancho Cucamonga, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/BsBYLk-gw4A/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1713zp929ishm

[shananigans65]

Post nachos hot tubbing. Feliz Nachodad 🎶🎵🎶 #nachoblog #nachosinparadise #nachofriends #nachos #feliznachodad @tchick64 @chereesmith @schubes_24 (at The Collection) https://www.instagram.com/p/BrjdpysAL-F/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1kwyzhe5eg9c9

[shananigans65]

Sexy man meeting in the hot tub Feliz Nachodad 🎶🎵🎶 #nachoblog #nachosinparadise #nachofriends #nachos #feliznachodad @tangotindale @zachary.blair @matt_flaco @mholm3 💪🏼 (at The Collection) https://www.instagram.com/p/BrjdgVcAyKC/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=spwutb0nsmh

[shananigans65]

Happy holidays! Feliz Nachodad 🎶🎵🎶 #nachoblog #nachosinparadise #nachofriends #nachos #feliznachodad @havanice @yogawithkumukate @tangotindale @kimigatherum @digitalwhitewater (at The Collection) https://www.instagram.com/p/BrjdLbxg8EG/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=15ff6nyw19406

[shananigans65]

Celebrating the 6th Anniversary of the #nachoblog today! Come say hi at Oahu Mexican Grill from 3pm-6pm 😘 #nachosinparadise #nachofriends (at Oahu Mexican Grill) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bo5TA54guOh/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=v2iv10o5nrmw

[shananigans65]

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$10 if you can name the song...(paid by @waikikibrewjoe ) @waikikibrewco @moustachenate #wangchungs #nachoponcho #nachoponcholife #nachosinparadise #nachoblog #nachofriends